#not fucking pretending to be calm
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Shes so me sobbing emoji
#snufkin too#snufkin when im masking#little my when im my real self#not fucking pretending to be calm#thats why i like 2019 snufkin#he masks as some chill loner while in reality hes angry sad and lost grr#goongaga blorb thangs
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can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.
most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.
#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn#its just a pattern ive observed online#im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words#but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help#youre a fucking idiot lol#people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online#how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders#of those spaces have been telling them#you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause.#text#like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim#and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh#like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation#some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore#and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time!#unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them#very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you#have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?
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I AM FUCKING SCRWAMING IVYYYYYYYY I AM CHEWING OFF YOUR ARMS AND LEGS OH MY BOY MY LITTLE ROCKSTAR!!!!!!!!! HES SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENT THAN YESTERDAY MY BABY BOY HES FUCKING KILLITN RHE STAGE RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGH
#IVY MY SCREAMY LITTLE KITTEN IV#I WILL NEVWR SHUT THE FUCK UP ABKUT HIM NOR CALM THE FUCK DOWN#IM NKT EVEN GONNA PRETEND TO BE NORMAL ABOUT HIM I AM SK FUCKING MENTAY UNWELL DUDE THUS US AWESOME#sleep token#sleep token iv
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thinking about how Macaque usually smiles when being more aggressive. Thinking about how monkeys usually ‘smile’ to show aggression. Thinking about MK smiling a shit ton durinf the Azure fight. THINKING ABOUT THE WARRIORS AND MKS REPRESSION GODD
Watching MK go completely unhinged while fighting Azure moodboard:
#but part of me was cheering with SWK#THAT'S MY HARBINGER OF CHAOS. THAT'S MY BOY#HE SHOULD YELL AT PEOPLE MORE OFTEN#(Wukong)#(He should yell at Wukong)#It's the fact that they love each other so much that makes SWK V MK fuck so hard#MK *loves* to repress/ignore problems that impact his worldview. He is so messy#Like I love the way he deals with LBD in s2 because it's absolutely abysmal.#He handles the problem without actually handling the problem. Does not go to monkey king. Does not talk to his friends#He trains but he also doesn't make any effort to try and stop LBD's plans or learn what those plans are#And then after being bitter at Wukong for a whole season he pretends it did not happen in s3. Like MK my sweet boy#you are not handling anything with any amount of grace#AND THEN he tried to do the same thing with his Monkey Form. But Monkey Form did not let him#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk MK#asks#solarartzz#like can you believe they ended s4 on such a high note. And then also said that s4 was the ''calm before the storm''#can you believe s4 was set up. THAT IT WAS SET UP#Like oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooo. MK's s4 arc ended on too much of a high note#Especially because it resolved like nothing about his identity & his relationship with SWK#And they totally hinted at the SWK V Macaque fight being revealed later#Like god. We really are so fucked I'm telling you
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Okay so I wasn’t looking for spoilers but the fact that none of you warned be about that certain scene with Eddie and Marisol shame on you. Like yes I was aware of the bts pic of her in a robe and the doubling down on him being straight was a high possibility but none of you mentioned it actually happened
#eddie diaz#buddie#911 abc#anti Eddie/Marisol#like it’s so awkward#and it’s funny in a way cause Buck and Tommy are so amazing#and the chemistry feels so right and perfect along with the writing and than we have whatever the fuck this is anyway#EW!!!!!!! 🤮#can Eddie just be single forever pls like at this point I don’t care as long as I never have to see that again#anyway yeah#shame on you buddie fandom a jump scare warning would have been nice#we are doing that before I moved it 🤮🤮🤮🤮 like I get you have straight sex#literally stop enough enough enough- fat Amy vibes literally like shut the fuck il#up and Eddie oh Eddie the nester you are why babe#I know this was going to happen double down and stuff but really guys you are in your 30s calm tf down or something like do that shit off#screen so I don’t have to see it and can pretend it doesn’t happen thank you
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maybe a hot take but sometime when you have drama with someone you can just. not be their friend anymore. you don't need to go out of your way to personally try to ruin their life !
#like#i have ex friends who i really do not fw anymore. and even some have some moderate level of clout online#but i'm not trying to ruin their lives!!! they're living and chilling and thats fine. good for them lol#this post is inspired by my friends ex friend group stalking and harassing them for months#litterally doxxed them and sent spies to pretend to be their friends to keep tabs#you don't need to do allat!!!#you can just not like someone in private!!!#calm the fuck down !!!!
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typical 7 am judas moment where im sobbing over what i could have been and accomplished if my parents had loved me :)
#what a waste of a life this has been#i gotta go to work now at my job i fucking hate and pretend im not constantly tormented by how much better i couldve done#if id just been loved and had the money to succeed#explodes and dies forever lmao#what did i do that was such a crime even as a baby that they hated me since the day i was born#what is so wrong with me#what is so intrinsically wrong with me that they have hated me since i was born?????? i drive myself crazy thinking about it#im totally fine and calm and collected enough to go to work (im not. i wish i was fucking dead. i cant take this anymore) lol#anyways broken record i know yall are tired of hearing about it. imagine how tired i am of living like this for 24 years lmao
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we managed to find a print shop that's open next week (and not like 30 minutes away), so I'm getting my thesis printed there on Wednesday as soon as they open, and then mailing it to my uni. hopefully it'll arrive the next day. I mean I'm sending the PDF file the same day, so... I don't know, I'm just hoping for the best
I had been talking to my brother P about it, and he told our mother. she messaged me to ask if I had found one that's open yesterday, and I wanted to wait to reply until the answer was yes (because she gets very annoying)
annnd she did get annoying anyway. she went to the print shop in her village (which we had already talked to), and convinced them to do it despite the fact that they're gonna be closed. which. I guess is nice of her? it could be? if the circumstances were different.
my brother told me, so I called her and she explained that she was sooo worried that she couldn't sleep all night and then she just had to go and ask them! she thought that since I hadn't replied, that meant I had just given up (I mean, I did have a mini breakdown and gave up for a few hours... but she doesn't know that.)
cool! so why not just call me (instead of messaging) and ask if I'd like her to do that? it's the fact that she keeps treating me like a child, but only in ways that feel really belittling and shitty. taking control when that's not what I want or need at all. there's no support, she just takes over and expects me to be grateful.
like, she makes me feel so fucking anxious about the whole damn thing. it's MY thesis. if anything she should be supportive and like, tell me I can do it and that it'll work out or something, no? but every time I see her she just keeps making it worse and worse, making me feel like I'm incapable of doing anything, and also if I don't get my degree my life will basically be over!
that's just sooo motivating, thanks a lot 🙃
#I did pretend that it was fine. just gave her nothing. no emotions. I didn't sound upset I just said we won't need that but thanks.#not like. oh wow that's so awesome thank you! more like. yes well that really wasn't necessary because I am handling it but thank you anyway#it's so fucking annoying that I have to calm HER down about something that is difficult FOR ME. like why is it always like that?!#I'd just like to feel supported for once in my life#but that'll never come from her and I've accepted that.#personal#posts about my thesis
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Having a cranky crabby high frustration day and it made me think of something I hadnt in a long time
I was thinking ab how growing up I wasnt allowed to get mad or god forbid have an attitude (yeah having CPTSD and oh being a literal fucking child will do that to you) and how I would have to lie and say I was "just tired" bc that was more acceptable than "I'm fucking mad at you right now and I know that if I say anything about WHY I'm frustrated, you'll get mad back at ME"
And it's like we all knew it was a lie, like ffs let your kids be mad at you sometimes even when you think they have no reason to be! Especially if they have poor emotional regulation!! And for God sake look in the fucking mirror and see that they are reacting how YOU react to anger!
Idk it just made me mad to think ab how kids and teens aren't allowed to be angry or "have an attitude" and then parents wonder why kids act out. Like when you have no healthy outlet to deal with anger you're going to get it out however you can, and suprise grow up into an adult with anger issues! Who fucking knew!
#marquilla#what triggered this was i was frustrated w/ [rc] ab them correcting how i wrote the layout bc if they would just fucking read the plannogra#m on the app then we wouldnt even be having this happen! and i had said something that came off as attitude and she went#'why are you mad 😠' and i said im not im TIRED#my anger issues are so fucking bad lately it's not fucking funny and it's so hard to learn healthy ways to regulate it as an adult#and i was thinking ab how i dont have any coping skills on calming down in general bc i would ignore adults telling me to breathe deep#bc breathing isnt gonna make my problem go away and if i get quiet youre gonna go back to ignoring my problem bc well she stopped crying#so now i can't like take deep. breaths to calm down or count or shit bc my brain is like why so you can fucking pretend whats causing my#problem/emotion doesnt exist?#god i need more therapy
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anyway i think you can interpret Kaeya’s and Diluc’s relationship however you want, and it’d be canon either way
like Hoyoverse has fucked the boat so thoroughly that, at this point, whatever you want is probably canon in one translation or the other
so maybe stop being dicks to one another 🤷♂️
#genshin impact#ragnvindr brothers#kaeluc#like if you wanna see them as brothers that's fine if you don't wanna see them as brothers that's fine#either way it's going to be canon adjacent#like who the fuck knows anymore. or cares#'but they're brothers!' and numerous chinese people have told you they aren't in the very original version so maybe calm down#you can't pretend like one translation trumps all the others so let's just accept that kaeya and diluc's relationship is whatever you want#(and now some chinese people ARE saying they're brothers. like genuinely everyone is saying different things and contradicting each other)#(so can we just Stop Fighting Maybe and be nice to each other instead)#(or at least fucking learn how to block and stop sending death threats 💀)
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.
#i just think i'd like to not feel like a disappointment on top of feeling like a failure yknow#like i know i'm not capable of anything better or more important i'm barely capable of this#but like as a parent. at least pretend like you think i'm doing my best#whatevs i'm turning my phone on dnd if anyone except my besties calls me they can get fucked#and i'm gonna welcome my 20th hopefully when i calm down
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Daniela Dimitrescu x reader: what she wished for
Summary: She'll cling to the "fake" persona she carefully crafted. Until it all came crashing down
Warning(s): angstish to fluff, it's sad, self depreciating thoughts. Self hatred, fears of abandonment- some hinted violence
Daniela wanted to be someone who everyone liked. No matter the cost- even at the expense of her own person. She crafted herself to being this person she's read in books people liked. But in reality no matter how much she tries to make people like her she can't. And she knows it will never work- the people she interacts with that aren't family are terrified of her- hell even her family can't handle her wild over the top person she is. Especially how quickly she can just change her mind and kill someone in her delusional state- be it on purpose or accident.
She surrounded herself in these books- day dreamed of it all happening to her- invisioned herself as the main character- the friends they'd make were hers. The romance- oh how she wished someone would come and sweep her from her feet- someone who'd love her for- her not the Daniela who everyone was afraid of. Or constantly annoyed with. Someone who was worth loving. Someone worth their time. Willingly to spent time with her not out of fear or a selfish desire of theirs but because they'd care for her.
She did it so much so well she believed it
Daniela fell for her own delusion wether she was aware or not wasn't the question- the question was is she willing to get out of the delusion wether she was or will be aware of it.
Daniela was lonely.
Nothing can change that fact- no matter how many books she'd read- no matter how many scripts she'd make
She wanted love.
Romantic love
She just hoped she'd get that one day- even if that day seems farther and farther away each day but she never lost hope. Never let go of that sliver of hope- she wanted to be someone to someone. She wanted to be the one they went to when something happened. Someone that'd protect them
She wanted to be that special someone's knight in shining armor
-
The new batch of maids were going to be coming in any moment now- but Daniela didn't care she just wanted to go back to her room and read.
Scuffing in annoyance she crossed her arms- an odd sight for anyone to see- minus her mother who was well aware. How dare her mother force her to go away from her book? Especially when she was finally going to see if this girl was going to go for her heart or die trying? The climax was just there- just one more page and she'd know if they'd made it.
But no- her mother insisted she'd be here to see the new maids. The door opened and footsteps came in- Daniela ignored it- she kept thinking about how it would have been the best ending. Glancing over she quickly swept the maids with a single glance- then froze. Her thoughts long forgotten. Only one thing was on her mind
'Who is that?'
Seeing you was like something from her books. Love at first sight. A pull made her want to go towards you- the way you nervously moved your hands about slowly to not draw attention to yourself- but you already did.
You caught sight of the lovesick Dimitrescu sister- Daniela and she'd be damned if she'd let the other two get to you first. Especially not after hearing the quickened heartbeat once you caught her looking- a grin appeared on her face- the nervous look in your eyes grew once you saw how her eyes were trained on you
Only you. Not once straying away just kept locked in on you as if you two were in a staring contest. And in a way- you were.
"- so those are the rules. Do not break a single one" her mother called out before dismissing them all with a wave of her hand once they left- she turned to her daughters "now. Daughters be more patient with them for just today. Mistakes are to be expected the first day but never the second. Do you understand" it was not a question. It was a demand as it always was.
"Yes Mother" they spoke at once before leaving
-
She couldn't get you out of her mind. She didn't want to- She skipped around the halls like a school girl having her first ever crush- it put everyone that saw her on edge- something bad was going to happen they assumed.
Thinking of ways to woo you- Daniela thought of all the different approaches she's tried with others before. Thinking of the romantic interest on the recent book she figured it wouldn't hurt to try to do what they did- be calm but cool.
'I've got this-! Shouldn't be too hard'
A large grin appeared on her face once she spotted you- on a stool trying to dust the top shelf- skipping over she stopped right behind you- humming softly "well hello!" Causing you to yell in surpise, stool shaking reaching out Daniela grabbed your waist quickly pushing you back straight up on the stool
"Sorry about that love, didn't mean to scare you!" Daniela apologized not looking the least bit sorry, huffing out slightly you put a hand on your chest calming yourself down. Uncharacteristically waiting patiently Daniela listened to the quick beating heartbeat that almost seemed to be hitting Daniela in her ears yet as the time went on it became calmer.
"Sorry you- surprised me Lady Daniela-" you spoke praying you got the right sisters name- not wanting to face any horrible outcomes you've seen already from doing so.
"Aww you know my name!" Daniela giggled her unblinking eyes never leaving yours as you stepped off the stool- wiping your hands in a cloth- a sigh of relief escaped you "well? What's your name pretty?" She asked- but it felt more like a demand then an actual question
"Y/N"
-
Its been months since that encounter, Daniela hardly if ever left your side. Always right behind or beside you as you worked- smiling and humming some random tune- or clinging onto you. To an unknowing person- and even the ones inside the manor it was like watching a human being followed around by some puppy that so desperately wanted their full attention- and if she didn't get your attention for longer then she wanted- which was always-
"Pay attention to me" Daniela whined loudly pulling the sleeve of your shirt breaking your train of thought as she put her head on your arm- she gave her best puppy dog eyes. Sighing you gently pulled away from her before reorganizing the books on the table
"I'm sorry Lady Daniela but I really need to get this done" apologizing you refused to give in- you needed the work done for multiple reasons-you relaxed a bit hearing the silence then began the whining- before it turned into loud drawn out dramatic sighs. A sudden loud thump was made behind you-stealing a glance over you watched Daniela continuously changing her position on the couch- like a huge pouty tantrum
"Oh come on! Your always working on something why don't you just stop and pay attention to me!"
"It's my job"
That made Daniela go into another pouty tantrum.
Huffing she glared over at you in annoyance- crossing her arms she flopped onto her back staring up "well! Then stop. Who the hell gave you this chore anyways."
"You did"
It was silent after that besides the sweeping from the cloth in your hand- dusting off the books left unattended you looked back over. Daniela staring wide eyed at you for a moment. Blinking slowly
"I- I did?" She spoke slowly sitting up before a huge grin appeared on her face. Jumping up she quickly sprinted towards you wrapping her arms around you- stopping you from continuing "well! Since I gave you that order then! I'll give you a new one"
"Your new order is to stop and pay attention to me" rubbing her cheek against yours as she attempted to convince you
"Hmm. How about give me 2 minutes then you'll have all my attention?" You attempted to reason- "I want to get this done first- is that alright?"
Giving it a thought Daniela pouted before letting you go
"Fine! But not a second later!"
-
It doesn't take much to see that she loves you. Anyone with eyes can see it. How quickly her sad mood brightens once she spots you- quickly leaving her spot towards you no matter who was around.
How willing she was to let you see her library. Much less touch any of the books. Last time someone did that they lost a arm.
Well besides you of course. You always would chalk it up to some friend thing she does every so often-
Assuming it to be friendship no matter what she did
Daniela loves you- she truly does- not the fake type she convinced herself of with past people. This- this was real. This feeling- the love she felt for you was so refreshing- she felt true. It wasn't a lie or a delusion. She doesn't want to ruin this- not like she has before but she wants to tell you.
Needs to
The words wanted to come out but what if she reveals her trueself and you decide you don't like her anymore? Don't like how she isn't constantly happy- that she can get sad. She doesn't want to be left behind because the true her isn't what you want. She doesn't want to go through that again
Never again.
Biting her lip she looked over at you reading on the chair- completely unaware of her watching you read the book in your lap. The curled lip to a smile when you read something funny or heartwarming. Her face softened at your relaxed state you didn't know she was watching you but you were fully aware she was there- she'd never thought she'd see a day where a human would be completely relaxed with her being in the room.
Glancing over you smiled at her softly patting the chair beside you "come on! Read with me D-" you didn't need to ask twice she was beside you in moments looking over your shoulder to read.
She needed a plan on how to tell you
-
Camping was always romantic- at least that's what she's read. So many confessions happen in the books where they camp together- what could happen?
You could reject her. That was a thought that was brushed off- she didn't want to think about that. She wanted. Needed to think positively about this.
She can do this. Just need to do the tent. Make some cookies and it'll be fine!
She planned the whole thing- it'd be easy. Peace of cake!
-
It was a failure.
Not only did Daniela forget to bring the tent out then run back to get it she proceeded to rip it by accident- she also failed to bake the cookies. She mistook sugar for salt and then left it in to long.
Almost set the kitchen on fire
For someone who reads a whole lot- she can't cook for anything- no matter how many times she read the stupid cook book.
But with a quick bribe of the head chief she finally got some delicious cookies. At least she thinks so- they smell good but she doesn't know if she can actually eat them
"Eh whatever" taking a bite out of one of them her eyes lit up. Quickly shoving the rest of that cookie in her mouth she placed the plate on the rock as she waited in the back woods. Smiling to herself it wasn't much nor was there a tent but there was blankets to stare at the stars.
It's been a couple hours, Daniela walked around unable to stand still- what was taking so long? Why weren't you here ye-
"I forgot to invite them. FUCK"
-
Once she got back inside her stomach fell- how the hell did she mess up this badly? She forgot to invite the person she was going to confess to? Really? Of all things.
She's glad neither of her sisters knew- she'd never live that down
With the plate in one hand she went off to find you. Time for plan B.
Book reading confessions.
Finding you was the easy part. Convincing you to leave your job and follow her was the hard part- both equally as stubborn. But she wouldn't let that stop her.
But just dragging you away before you could say anything always worked-
So that's what she did.
She waited until you were close to the corner of the soon no way to escape before striking. She quickly buzzed forwards picking you up bridestyle she rushed off laughing when you yelped in surpise.
"Book talk time!" Was all you got until you were let down in her room- gesturing to the book shelf she buzzed happily
"Well- ok then. Didn't expect to get kidnapped today- are you ok? You seemed very.. red?"
"Yeah I'm ok! Just- it's your turn to talk about your book remember"
She wasn't sure exactly what book you were talking about- just some wizard boy being some chosen one or something. She just liked to hear you talk- how excited you sounded- the happy look in your eyes as you spoke about a book you loved. The dopey lovesick look appeared on her face yet again-
"I love you"
Silence followed- then the panic settled in. 'What the fuck.' That wasn't part of the plan at all? Why the hell did she ruin it. Standing straight up Daniela quickly faced away from you- avoiding the possible rejection she feared
"Wait no- I didn't-" she stumbled "I didn't- fuck- ok I didn't mean to say that" glancing around she played with her thumb nervously wiggling her fingers around "ok no I did mean to say that. But like like that"
Placing a hand on her shoulder she flinched before relaxing. Turning her to face you gently you took it her terrified embarrassed look. "Hey now" you spoke softly putting your hands on her cheeks holding her face gently "its ok, I love you too" pulling you into a hug she grumbled "I couldn't hear that-" pulling her head back she looked away-
"I said I had a plan on how I'd confess" she whined softly hiding her face again in your shoulder. Nuzzling her face against your shoulder she inhaled then exhaled calming down.
"Its ok- how about we lay down and you tell me all about it?" Nodding her head you moved go her bed to lay down- within seconds Daniela laid on top of you her arms wrapped around your waist as she moved to be on the left side of you. Curling over to face her- she started to speak everything she planned.
And on how she messed it up- she left no detail out. Even the most embarrassing ones. Looking up at you the happy smile you had made her all the previous worries that still lingered vanished.
Smiling Daniela let out a sigh of relief, she finally has someone she loves truly and who loves her truly not for who she crafted herself to be. But for the true Daniela inside no matter how clingy she was. She felt like you wouldn't leave her for anything and you wouldn't.
Her arms around your waist tightened gently pulling you closer to her-
Daniela always thought you were the royal stuck in the tower and she was your knight to protect and save you. But that wasn't the case nothing even close- she was the princess and you were her knight.
#daniela dimitrescu#daniela dimitrescu x reader#resident evil village x reader#the idea of hers to pretend to be that calm relaxed love interest didnt last a day#within minutes she just-#clung to you#i have no fucking idea how to write confessions#so i just#hate it#I spent three nights writing deleting then rewriting this whole ass thinf#wtf#resident evil x reader#resident evil village#resident evil#i kinda wanted the confession to bring in her abandonment issues#but like#nah i want jt to be fluffy#theres always next time
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the most annoying blogs on this website are the ones that have fans. not content creators or blogs with a specific purpose but regular ppl with regular blogs who have literal fangirls who hype them up and give them the audacity to be annoying and preachy.
#like its tumblr calm the fuck down#if you want to pretend to be an influencer go to Twitter or ig#mine#personal
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Holy shit i just woke up
If there’s any users in Yemen seeing this, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.
This feels like a horror film. The UK public haven’t even had a say in this. Sunak’s just Decided to bomb Yemen for …. Being an inconvenience, at worst?
#BECAUSE OF ***COMMERCE?****#IM LOSING MY MIND !!!#on what fucking planet does commerce supersede the right to safety and non-fatal protest !!!???????#we were prepared to pay . the UK public has seen nothing but climbing prices for years now. we’d struggle but we’d live.#it was talked about in news with a level of calm + it was unspoken just accepted there’d be a temporary price hike . and with the UK start#starting to slowly backtrack away from its help to Israel it looked like they’d push for truce + Red Sea protest would not happen for long.#how fucking hard is it to value Brown people.#because that’s at the core of this. these countries see Israel as comparatively White™️#and so will not stop funding them when it’s the easiest fucking job in the world. u could even just pretend u don’t have any money left to#give. fuck it it might as well b true#fuck America. fuck Biden. fuck this godforsaken ‘united’ kingdom . fuck Sunak and fuck every Tory
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“I’m sorry, but I fell in love tonight. I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. You’re looking like you fell in love tonight. Can we pretend we’re in love?”
Is There Somewhere; Halsey
#I mostly view this song as falling in love with someone you shouldn’t have#or pretending that you’re the one someone is really in love with even though they aren’t really in love with you#I think I would die if I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have - falling in love with someone I didn’t mean to fall in love with#I’m a sensitive person when it comes to love and that would probably only break and shatter me completely#because when I fall in love I fall really fucking hard that sometimes not even the stars can pick me up nor save me#I can only view this song as being in love while also being heartbroken at the same time#in the song when she sings that part - which she repeats twice towards the end of the song - has a different melody in those two times#that she sings. The first part (being at 2min and 30sec) seems to the climax and more serious in a way.#the second half of that part (3 min mark) the melody has calmed down and so does her voice .. that part is more emotional than how#she sung it before. it really is fascinating in how she sung the song and it’s really beautiful#this song gives me so much more feeling than I can explain so I’m gonna have to leave it at this for now#alex talks#alex’s diary
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I should be allowed to fucking maim shit because im the specialest person on earth. and because ive earned it
#im going to put my head through either a wall or somebody's ribs soon GOD#I love the work of my job i hate it's environment. im so fucking angry right now!!#not even for a good reason. but im in such a bad fucking mood. and i cannot calm down until i go home. in two hours. cool!#<- the grit-teeth cadence of a man watching a meltdown form stormlike on the horizon and pretending not to see it#oTL#quiet down
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