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#non specific did
chronic-pessimistic · 8 months
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Ok, so it’s suicide awareness/prevention month and this Friday I’m participating in another market but this time is lgbtq+ and anti-capacitist
So I want to do in this 3 days before the event a fanzine about mental health, but I’m not sure how to do it, like I’m part of the community in both things so that’s isn’t an issue.
Like I have bpd, ed, non specific dissociative disorder and I was in a mental hospital and had ptsd
So there are a lot of things that I wanna say, my question is: what would help you to understand and prevent suicide happening? I don’t want it to be like so academic and with hard words or a lot of numbers, maybe just a few(?
I want to draw something(maybe a fanzine with drawings that I did when I was in a mental hospital and add psychiatric reports not in a way that their word is the most important, more in a way that explains what was my experience, also I want to criticize the transphobia
I don’t know, could you help me?
What would help you to feel understood? And what would you want your family/friends that don’t understand to read?
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ofswordsandpens · 4 months
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"the Gabe and Sally dynamic in the show is abusive" and "the way they've portrayed Gabe in the show is distinctly different from his book counterpart and fans can criticize that" are two discussions that can coexist
#I understand that this is hard topic to navigate#but me saying that /they've changed Gabe and that's consequently altered the dynamic he has with Sally in way I don't like/#is NOT me saying I don't think what they've portrayed onscreen is non-abusive#or that I WANT to see him abuse her???#its just the guy in the show while clearly controlling and abusive (emotionally and financially so far)#...I don't believe he's the guy who's presence was so horrid and disgusting MONSTERS avoided him#I wouldn't call him /Smelly/#in the book his abuse (all forms) is much more overt#(and just to be painstakingly clear: abuse doesn't have to be overt to be abuse)#but the guy in the show does not have the same presence as the guy in the book#book Gabe is menacing#he growls and he threatens and both Sally and Percy have developed very specific responses to deal with it#I've seen one take saying that people can't recognize the abuse in the show because its not physical (yet?)#but even disregarding the physical abuse entirely#if you compare the book scene and TV show scene of Percy arriving home and he and Sally readying for Montauk#there is a pretty stark difference in tone#and in how both Sally and Percy interact with Gabe#in the book Sally goes out of her way to avoid /provoking/ Gabe and asks Percy to do the same until they can leave for Montauk#and Gabe is just itching for any excuse to keep them home#and imo if Book Sally had said the things that show Sally did to Gabe#Gabe wouldn't have let them gone!#and again im not saying that the show's depiction is nonabusive#or unrealistic#im saying its simply /different/ than the book#and im upset that it doesn't feel like dynamic depicted the book#and no book sally is no simpering wilting flower#but she's also not what they depicted in the show either#pjo adaptation#sally jackson#pjo
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bitchfitch · 7 months
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I need someone to kill me. I've been making a horse in magic poser for like. eight hours and I'm in hell.
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it still needs back legs and I hate it. (I'm grumping but it's taking so long because I'm making it a Good poser that I will never have to make again and will be able to resuse infinitely. The devs will announce that they are adding horses within the month I guarantee you that.)
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thepoisonroom · 17 days
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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wildelydawn · 2 months
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I love that this is Top's rationale for Non coming back as a ghost to hunt them. Nothing else. Either Non was gonna get an oscar or murder everyone
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months
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it's less us adopting you and more like a-yuan where you ran up to us in a busy marketplace (tumblr tags/dashboard) and latched onto our legs with vengeance and adopted us into your chaos (but like in a good way)
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Mutually Assured Adoption. We will take to the town and cause havoc
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fried-manto · 9 months
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He wouldn't be able to hide it, even if he wanted to. So why is it not there?
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Little doodle from my bestie cuz I made myself sad making this comic
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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 2 months
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Ok but we all agree PheeJin's sex scene was def revenge/hate sex, right?
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antihibikase-archive · 3 months
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It is incredibly isolating to navigate through fandom as an aromantic person. Aro experiences are so varied, and there is no definite aro experience that encapsulates the alienation that fandom spaces cause for certain people.
Fandom is mostly built and structured on shipping. And if not, the blorbofication of characters, which tends to go down the shipping pipeline; where does that leave the romance repulsed aro person who genuinely does not want to see any form of shipping? Platonic dynamics, right?
Yeah, sure. But by platonic dynamics, it's only "best friends" or "family" right? Where does that leave the aro folks with undefined labels? No, qprs aren't a get-out-of-jail card.
And qprs- they have no rules or standards set upon them by society, not even having a clear definition for what it is, because not all qprs are the same. Yet, for some reason, it ended up becoming the "nonbinary" option to a lot of people- not romantic or "regular" platonic? Qpr it is, right?
But where does that leave the aro folk who don't want a qpr? Who don't wish to see characters depicted in pairs or trios or so forth- who embrace the lack of a partner?
And these concepts presented; when aro folk talk about them, do you care? And if you do, do you understand? Do you try to?
If you aren't aro, but wish to be supportive, are you a genuine ally? Do you raise the concerns of aro folk you share the space with?
Or do you take a look at these concepts- and decide you understand them "well" enough? Do you decide to speak for aro folks instead?
Do you depict relationships outside of romance because you believe in the importance of platonic relationships? Will you accept the fact that not all platonic interactions will be familial or "best friends"?
Can you accept depictions of qprs outside of "more than friends, less than lovers"? Are you willing to accept it is not just "best friends" or "romance lite"? Will you accept that nothing is inherently romantic- and characters in a qpr may fall under your standards of lovers?
Can you resist the urge to put every character in a pair or trio or group? Are you comfortable with the notion of characters finding more joy in being by themselves, outside of all those lenses you see them in?
It's good if you can.
And if you can't, at the very least, do you understand why some aro folk in your space are upset? Embittered by your favorite ships? Starving for representation?
Did you depict these characters with these concepts with the knowledge that aromanticism is fluid?
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jupitermelichios · 5 months
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my favourite sexuality for comic book characters to be is "we made this other character canonically queer because of their relationship with them but for some reason they are still canonically straight"
like wade wilson? mostly canonically queer because of the period where he was married to cable. he was in a queer relationship, so we have to just make him canonically queer. (Yes I know it's not the only reason, I have read all his extremely camp early 00s comics, but lets be real they'd have kept insisting that was all just a joke if it wasn't for Cable and Deadpool).
cable? definitely straight. 100% straight. obviously cable is straight. his relationship with wade is only gay during the & Deadpool, in the Cable part of the book it's very straight. He stands next to a woman sometimes, that's how you can tell it's not gay.
Kitty has, finally, been allowed to come out, but for like a decade, Illyana was canon queer because she dated Kitty, but Kitty was definitely straight and would never date a woman, and no one at marvel thought there was anything weird about that.
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[Image Description: a very straight character, interacting with another straight character, in a very believably straight way]
Marvel has way more of these, mostly by virtue of having more queer characters and also chris clairmont (you can never understate the impact of chris clairmont in these matters) but Tim Drake and Kon Kent spring to mind from DC.
I think you could even make a solid argument that 616 Tony and Steve are that, given Tony is out now and Steve, somehow, still isn't.
anyway you don't really get these in any other medium, because they require multiple writers who all wildly disagree with one another to all write the same characters to happen, but i love them, and as much as I want Cable and Kon to come out, I kind of hope this never stops happening in comics, it's just never not funny.
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coldflasher · 3 months
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was rewatching the pilot again yesterday for fic reasons and thinking again about the sherlock-style screen annotations they had when barry was doing CSI work that they literally only did in the first ep and then never revisited again, presumably because they realized it'd be far too much effort to work out the details on such a precise level
and thinking about like. that barry allen with the hyper-precise exact measurements that he did by eye (with joe shaking his head in awe so you know that he's a CSI supergenius) vs. the leonard snart who timed his heists to the exact nanosecond (which again, presuming they ditched because it's a logistical nightmare to write dialogue that nitpicky and obsessive, and would be such a fucking pain to do on a week-to-week basis). like. yet another reason they are soulmates tbh. is audhd4autistic a thing the same way t4t is a thing? if it isn't then i'm making it a thing
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months
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Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....
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#posting this both while im asleep and after whatever bee event ends up happening#so who knows what will happen! will we get nothing? will we get eye contact? will we possibly get an interaction? its a surprise!!#anyways this is basically me hearing about seb's bee event and he said the drivers will be there#me deep in my vettonso brainrot: OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA BE IN THE SAME VICINITY#will be so funny for me if when i wake up i find out fernando didnt even go 😭#but we remain hopeful 🙏#also this is just very funny to me bcs like both seb and fernando have very specifc quirks#and what are two of their specific quirks? seb and his bee thing. fernando and his flower thing from this season#so this fanart is perfect y'know 🥰🥰🥰#also screeching over how this is the first canon au drawing ive ever drawn. ive literally never drawn non-au until now 💀💀💀#okay and now some horrible jokes thay happened during the process of this:#thesis of this drawing: whats Fernando gonna do? Pollinate him? 😏#C. why did you have to make me think of bees that produce sex pollen 😭😭 this is gonna haunt me forever. but also vettonso post-japan fic-#and then also the barry benson thing. im like what do humanized bees look like and then realized 'oh no....oh no.'#fernando to seb at the bee event: 'ya like samurais...?' SORRY 😭#also having to pick the colors from one of my historical au drawings was haunting. just the sheer difference btwn them yknow......#anyways please take my old men yaoi. took a break from historical yaoi to draw this 😭😭😭😭#this is my peak vettonso fanart cannot improve from here. also a fever dream#vettonso#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#*not gonna edit the tags bcs i like the time capsule of it all but like. yeah. we were fed.#*catie from 2 hours prior(atm its 3 am) would be so pleased right now i think
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adhdisgay · 2 months
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polyamory and open relationships can be but aren’t always queer, but the weird dislike of consensual non-monogamous relationships FEELS homophobic in a way I can’t quite put my finger on
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vargaslovinghours · 7 months
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The unusual but no less hard-hitting 10½! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)
So as it turns out, I did so many Blank Slate/Have you lost your mind? doodles that I ComPletely broke the last sketchdump lol, so it gets it’s own! Who could’ve figured that making basically a full comic of Chapters 2 and 3 would’ve made just a few too many sketches lol
Because of that, I’d strongly recommend reading what I've posted of Have you lost your mind? so far before this! Spoilers and author’s notes/behind the scenes warnings and all that haha
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Concept sketch for Scriabin - I always love having visual signifiers to denote timeline/AU/etc. differences so you can tell at a glance where you are :) His silhouette gets to be correct! The details, well, sorry we forgot those ♪
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And concepts for Edgar! I've drawn him in different glasses before so it was a bit of an excuse, using these new/old glasses to do so again haha
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But in the end I went for a reference! Remember when I drew Edgar's glasses tiny?
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And I mean, if he hadn't worn them in a while, maybe they're just a bit small on him! Lol
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Poor memory-less Edgar's musings, it's not just sad to be forgotten, it's sad to forget :(
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Early concept of Scriabin freaking out by himself in the bedroom. I'm glad I got to keep it :D
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Always gotta draw 'em reacting to something just out of frame
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Poor Scriabin, he wants to be close despite knowing Edgar doesn't remember him. He has to face this whole Being Human thing completely alone! Edgar just doesn't understand!
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He doesn't know how good he's got it haha, if I was really mean I'd have let him keep his glasses instead. There's a bunch of fun themes either way, but stealing from Edgar while hiding in his own hair is as good as any hehe <3
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Blank-faced Edgar, I ended up with a lot of these, unsurprisingly. Doesn't help that he's cute haha
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As usual, starting from the middle - it's just easier to get ideas flowing around a core! Also that note pointing at Edgar of "Put Todd to bed" was all the everything of the prep work I did for writing that little section, but the rest Absolutely Needed storyboarding lol
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He might come to resent you if you manhandle so much right after meeting for the "first" time
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Scriabin actually touches him in the original draft, but after I thought about it, it'd probably take a bit to cross the touch barrier comfortably again! Scriabin's still weird about Edgar but Edgar is wary, it's an interesting dynamic
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I won't show off every panel, but panels like these where I think they turned out especially cute Have to be included haha <3 I dunno what it is but Scriabin pouting always turns out adorable ♥
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Floof harder! Edgar's innocent expressions ahh <3
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Starting to lay the groundwork, but still a bit nervously! It is quite fun how they skirt each other, not quite sure what the other knows - how many lies can Scriabin get away with before he gets caught!
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Scriabin using some informed guesswork in conjunction with what he definitely knows, he is rather intelligent :) You can also see Edgar's unfocused eyes well in this one, I tried to draw them fuzzy behind those glasses hehe
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These are all lined up like this on the page :D Really happy with his hand expressions here, and his face haha
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This was one of my favourite lines - he keeps making excuses for Nny! Edgar no! - I fully admit that it's also partially influenced by how cute Edgar turned out haha, the poor thing - but he's so wonderfully fluffy!
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I love this line as well, Scriabin utterly convinced that all his hard work must have gotten through to Edgar somewhere in there, he said it often enough, he must have listened to him at least once-!
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And then Edgar completely cuts him off and redirects him haha, they’re both hopeless <3
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So mad at himself and Edgar, comedy = pain + time, but this is still fresh! Give yourself some time!
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That last line in particular is so insidious because he did that, Scriabin was the one who put him in that situation, and now he’s trying to turn it back around on him! He's the worst ♪
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Guilty Edgar <3 Still pressing on (changing the subject so he doesn't have to linger on the feeling hehe), he does have his own questions
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These kinds of exchanges were especially fun to look back on from their individual perspectives since I only drew it once, starting with Edgar. How honest can Scriabin really be? He can't explain everything and not be kicked out for being a potential danger to Todd or Edgar! He's gotta play his cards Just So
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Edgar is also quite intelligent! Catching Scriabin out in a lie, even when he's trying so hard to skirt the truth!
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Scriabin so mad about being called out, gotta rub it in just a little bit that he's Totally Right lol, what a brat <3
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Scriabin is legally and morally and emotionally and spiritually obligated to mess with Edgar sexually in literally every iteration of his existence, it is a core tenant of his being and also he really really wants to (lol) ♪ Drawing Edgar all blushed up is just a bonus, who does this stranger think he is! What has he forgotten! He's not some easy man! Haha, if you only (still) knew, Edgar
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Whatever he was going to say would just hurt Scriabin's feelings, better to just cut him off before another reminder gets laid out
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Probably my least favourite dialogue that I had to change was making "?" into something that flowed better in just-text, it's not the same! Lots of little notes about word choice actually haha. Love them reaching for each other even like this <3
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Edgar has all these feelings to contend with! My favourite shot is easily the last one, Scriabin's relaxed mouth while Edgar's heart is beating out of his veins right into his ear ♥
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Pls o////ò;
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Existence is exhausting
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Even without knowing him, he's just a cautious guy :) And he wants to be gentle with him! He doesn't realize what he's doing, what his actions would mean to Scriabin if he could see them, and he does them all the same 💕
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Pretty lad <3
Technically backtracking, to Ch. 3! POV shifts are fun lol
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Zarla mentioned Scriabin curling up into a ball in the blankets and I thought it was a cute visual haha ♪ Haven't had a use for it yet but never say never hehe
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I wanted to go for some high perspective shots to drive home the uncanny feeling of being really truly alone for the first time ever. That, and he's dramatic anyhow haha
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His posing was very important to me! Since Edgar knocks on the door while he's still leaned against it, the contact points would Feel a specific way
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Scriabin got a lot of「bracket notes」for his section, usually as digs lol, where does Scriabin get off saying that Edgar has no tact haha
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More blank-faced Edgar! These were actually drawn separately - could be chalked up to how each of them remember the event! Edgar sees himself as more put-together and Scriabin as more foolish haha ♪
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That horrible sinking feeling
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I pick on him a lot but this really would be incredibly scary and sad! He's alone, expelled, and the only person who Knows him now doesn't even recognize him! This was probably the one scene I wanted to be just a bit longer, really feel the weight, hmm
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But he's also quite resilient haha, he has to be <3 He has enough tenacity, thank goodness haha
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One of those examples of panels basically repeating lol, I can only fit so much text per pose! Plus it's fun to see the little body language differences :)
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Another bracket note lol, Scriabin has to be the best at everything!
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And another, have I mentioned that Kaggie is my favourite of the two? ✨ I'd still like to give both K and D a more sizeable reference sometime! Scriabin continues to be the cutest when he pouts, agh <3
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Touchy touchy touch ♥
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I do love the phrase "feeling himself" right after the last panel lol - it can be both literal and metaphorical! And that's what you get for not cleaning up after yourself! I swear that lightswitch panel confused me so many times on reviewing notes lol
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He's not even careful pfft. Then again if he was, he wouldn't have a mess to grumble about in the first place!
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A familiar face while Scriabin's already feeling small on his lonesome, ~it's symbolic~
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Ough, it hurts to think that Edgar might actually be able to watch Zeitgeist, not knowing the deeper implications. The thought of him inviting Scriabin to see it! 💔
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The most important question, and he hasn't come to a conclusion yet :) I wonder what his answer will be once he stops hiding from it!
Hhhh this has been a really fun AU to write for, I'm glad that I finally put it to words since it had been rolling around in my head since early 2021 - there are so many fun and insidious things to explore! Especially on Scriabin's side, though I still think it's the most fun to be stuck behind Edgar's eyes, an aware audience knowing what Scriabin is up to while Edgar doesn't hehe ♪ Hopefully I'll have some time to return to it after a bit! :D
#💟#Doodles#Art#Sketchdump#Blank Slate AU#Scriabin#Edgar#Hhhhhhhwhy did I make so many of these lol ♪#I finally utilized the method I'd heard about for fic writing of doodling out scenes for visualization#And then it comes back on me like this! Lol#And this still isn't even all of them!#Cough Patreon plug cough cough cough lol#But most of them are featured here :) I was happy with a lot of them! :D#In general as a fic it's been quite easy-going haha#It feels a little ironic to me but it's my in-between fic - since I'm not rereading it's detail-light/non-specific#I guess I'm just thinking of it as a first draft until I reread haha ♪ I'm just sharing it while I'm here! :)#I think it'd be a fun read-along to find which panels go to which scenes hehe#Although I'm also a big advocate for ''seeing'' fics on your own first!#Sometimes the imagery is different and inspires! I've had several times where I'll read and then draw#And /then/ go look at the accompanying art and it's quite different! Translation through medium! :D#So I always recommend getting your thoughts out first haha you can always return later :)#I know I said so already but having at-a-glance differences to show where we're at ah <3#And that it's to do with both of their glasses! How they see each other but literally! Hehe!#It really is such a fun concept to play in ♪ Similar in some ways to And Also With You#But one-sided! I also really love the trope of ''The one who should know Doesn't''#Oh and did you catch the Loved and Wanted reference? It's subtle haha#Always pulling little things from everywhere >:3c Blink and you miss it fun!#Pls do stick with me if you like it so far :D I have more ideas just you wait ♫
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transmasccofee · 7 months
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Ngl I’m tempted to animate something from that one canon au where Kusuo dies with this cover
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