#nobody tell her kirk dies
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Inciting Incident (Thank Goodness)
One of the most popular songs in Wicked is sung by Galinda, and centres around the idea that the society she lives in is corrupt and that she is the only one who knows how it really works. But is she right about that? Does she actually know as much as she thinks?
I think the answer is complicated, and that's the fun of it. I think that Glinda has intellectually grasped that the system is flawed, but I don't think she's emotionally wrapped her head around it. Case and point, the complete and utter cognitive dissonance that is Thank Goodness.
Let me explain.
SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, The Trekkie's Tale)
Thank Goodness is actually two songs. Thank Goodness itself, and a reprise of No-one Mourns The Wicked. So, it's a rehashing of the first act, opening with Glinda conversing with the crowd, the difference is whether or not she is appearing to agree with it.
In the first Glinda tries to argue for Elphaba's morality, and it frames the entire story. But now, Glinda stands idly by and goes along with all that the chorus says while they get more and more worked up by lies that she knows to be untrue.
You would think that the two segments of the song being in agreement would mean that they go well together, but they really don't. Thank Goodness and No-one Mourns The Wicked do not fit with each other at all, in my opinion.
So, what does this mean?
I think that this song shows Glinda lying to herself, and finally starting to crack and realise what is happening.
Glinda spends this song deflecting from the problem, instead of confronting it head on. She relies on popularity and giving the people what they want to distract them.
My ex-girlfriend is being hunted by the masses for something she didn't do, but look over here, I'm getting married!
"Like some terrible green blizzard
Throughout the land she flies
Defaming our poor Wizard
With her calumnies and lies!"
The obvious thing here is the tense. This is happening now, as opposed to something the characters have lived through and made it out the other side of. It is more immediate.
But the other thing that I want to point out is the wall that the Ozians are putting up. The reason Elphaba can't get through to anyone is because they think she is lying, because who are you more likely to believe, someone who you trust implicitly, or someone who everyone around you says is dangerous?
The song is broken into four sections. The introduction, Glinda's two reflections, and Madame Morrible's story, which prompts her to change her mind a bit.
"When you bowed before his throne
He decreed you'd hence be known
As Glinda the Good, officially!"
The following is an excerpt from The Trekkie's Tale, a Star Trek fanfic first published in 1974.
"Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky," thought Mary Sue as she stepped on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Here I am, the youngest lieutenant in the fleet - only fifteen and a half years old." Captain Kirk came up to her...
"Here, take over the ship for a minute while I go get some coffee for us."
This is the archetypal Mary Sue story, a format where the protagonist gets all that they want and more. The world revolves around Mary Sue, and as a result, it isn't particularly compelling. She wins everything, then she saves the day and dies, and everyone mourns her.
Nobody online seems to be able to agree on whether this story was a satire of general fanfiction trends or not, a fact that I find rather funny.
But compare that to the story Madame Morrible is telling about Glinda. Allegedly, the wizard gave her the title for... not much actually. In Morrible's version of events, good people get things just because, and nobody is asking any questions.
Essentially, Glinda is getting all that she wants on a silver platter, with no questions asked, no strings attached. Well, one string attached.
"Then with a jealous squeal
The Wicked Witch burst from concealment
Where she had been lurking, surrpetitially!"
I mentioned in my post on Defying Gravity (maybe go check that one out) that the central conflict that ended Elphaba and Glinda's relationship was that Elphaba was prepared to sacrifice everything, and Glinda wasn't. But Glinda did have to give up something to achieve her dream, and I don't think she quite understood that until now. To get the power she craved, Glinda had to lose Elphaba.
This song is essentially bludgeoning Glinda over the head with the fact that this tradeoff was not worth it.
That is the dissonance inherent to Glinda's entire character. She recognises the flaws in the world around her but has convinced herself that it will be worth it when she gets to power.
I don't think that Galinda would have realised this, and I am making a point of differentiating Glinda and Galinda. In my mind, Glinda is the version of this character who fell in love with and was changed by Elphaba. The two characters are incredibly similar, and one is an evolution of the other, but it is the influence of Elphaba that makes the difference.
Galinda was seeking power for the sake of it, a person who got her way because she couldn't understand anything else. But Elphaba changed that and gave her a purpose for seeking to climb the ladder. I think Glinda believed she could make a difference from within the structure of Oz, probably to help Elphaba.
Glinda has got everything she theoretically wanted, but at the behest of the reason she was doing it, and now that she is here, she can't even initiate the change she wanted to change. Glinda made the wrong choice, and is only now realising it.
"We couldn't be happier
Right, dear?
Couldn't be happier
Right here
Look what we've got
A fairy-tale plot
Our very own happy ending."
If you are wondering why I've been leaving Glinda's monologues until the end, it is because they make my case for me, and make analysis rather difficult as a result. I have been saying over and over that this musical is about dreams and reality colliding, and that is explicitly stated in these verses.
The fact that there are two of these mirrors the two sides of Glinda's character. The first is the side that craves the attention and has got everything that she wants, then the song reminds her of Elphaba, and she tries again with a more nuanced perspective.
"Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
Well - not simply
'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little, well, complicated"
This is literally what I've been saying. She's got what she wanted, but not in the way she wants. It's complicated, and that facade of hers is finally cracking.
That duality is mirrored by the time signature, which is maddening. The song oscillates between a ton of different signatures, and if someone with more musical knowledge understands anything more about this than me, please give me a hand.
From my, admittedly limited, understanding, this feels like a lack of surety. Glinda doesn't know what she wants or thinks anymore, so she can't decide what she is singing.
It also gives an incredibly informal tone, as the lack of structure matches how a person speaks, almost. There have been two characters who have distinct speech patterns in this musical, Madam Morrible, and Glinda. The script of both of whom is written in recurring patterns and rhythms, making up words to match the metre of their sentence. It's pompous and pseudointellectual.
This is most obvious in how smooth the start of Defying Gravity is. There, Glinda doesn't have to change how she talks to match the song, because she is already speaking in the right rhythm.
Cynthia Erivo's rendition of this song in PBS's Wicked In Concert is phenomenal and I highly recommend you check it out, not least of all because removing the crowd gives the song a completely different vibe.
But here, halfway through a song, she gives up with artfulness and just speaks her mind. It's still a song, so you still get the rhythms and melodies, but that is breaking down, and is gone in the script from this point forwards. That's partially why I say Glinda and Galinda are different people, they sound different to each other.
There are a few almost exceptions to this rule, and I say almost exceptions because they come really close to breaking the mould, but don't.
In this exception, Glinda is trying to convince herself that she is happy. The song is limited to one thought, the idea that Glinda should be happy, and there can't be anything wrong. She has got everything she wanted, and that would make her happy, right? Happy is what happens when all of your dreams... That's the word that throws her off, dreams.
This is no longer Glinda's dream.
This song is a microcosm of Glinda's entire arc in the musical. She follows the story laid out for her, but is changed by the journey until it no longer fits. She has changed, and now she can't do anything about it.
Ironically, Glinda has gained all the authority she could dream of, but she is more powerless and has less agency than she started with, and all of that happened without her notice.
"There's a kind of a sort of, cost
There's a couple of things get, lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed."
Final Thoughts
Genuinely, my favourite trope in a story is a character undergoing character development and not realising. For example, the "nobody's that heartless" line in The Emperor's New Groove.
But Glinda is my favourite example of this because of the way in which she reaches her conclusions. She is smart, possibly the most intelligent character in the entire musical, but her biases cause her to make some serious leaps of logic and ignore several things that would change her worldview until she runs headfirst into them.
Also, the stagecraft of this song is simple in order to not distract from Glinda's thoughts, but that means a lot of these photos are remarkably similar. I apologise for that.
Next week, I will be looking at Wonderful, and how it forms a neat little mirror of Sentimental Man, so stick around if that interests you.
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#rants#literary analysis#literature analysis#character analysis#what's so special about...?#glinda#glinda upland#wicked the musical#wicked musical#wicked#glinda the good witch#glinda wicked
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how Star Trek TOS characters would react to someone asking their pronouns
some lovely person did this for the good omens fandom and I thought I’d try it out with Star Trek!
Jim Kirk: he’s so so happy you asked. he’s beaming, he’s smiling, he’s wishing to the Gender Fairies that his gender was a little bit interesting and not just plain ole’ he/him. but, y’know, he isn’t going to complain if someone throws him a she/her curveball
Spock: one eyebrow raised, he’s stating, “I find the concept of gender a fascinating thing. My pronouns are he/him, they/them and ze/zem. Your query is appreciated.” this is simply because of professionalism, however; in fact ze do not mind she/her pronouns in casual settings. (the admirals don’t have to know that though.)
Bones: you have never met a more stout he/him in your life. he is radiating he/him energy like it’s nobody’s business. Is he also the most beautiful drag queen you’ve ever seen? totally. but off stage, it’s he/him/his all the way. also, he’s the first one to ask after other people’s pronouns in new situations
Scotty: what are pronouns? Scotty doesn’t know, that’s for sure. this guy is trans rights until he dies, but pronouns are /confusing/. that doesn’t mean he won’t respect them - he’s on a mission to make everyone feel as validated as possible - but they still boggle his mind. When prompted, he’ll state proudly that he “enjoys the him variety of pronouns very much”
Uhura: oh sweetie. oh gosh. she is the most confident, adorable she/her you’ve met in your life and she’s very proud that you asked. she wears a she/her pin on her uniform and will skip down the halls for a week after you ask. is she trans? some people think so. she’s not telling, but she’s happy with the assumptions either way!
Sulu and Chekov: the biggest he/theys that ever did he/they!! their genders are copy pasted but that doesn’t mean they follow the rutted cis track. neither of them flout it but they’re very chill with gender overall
Chapel: so so genderfluid. he’s not exactly happy about being asked, but he’ll reply anyway. sometimes he’ll say different sets of pronouns to different people with the sole intention of confusing them. she’s a big fan of fucking with the system
feel free to add on!!
#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#jim kirk#james t kirk#spock#tos#uhura#scotty#chapel#leonard bones mccoy#bones#gender#sulu#chekov
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"The Galactic Whirlpool" review
More like the galactic infodumping.
A novel from 1980, by David Gerrold.
It's not a bad book per se, but I found it quite tedious. At times it seems you're reading one of Scotty's technical manuals, at times a historical encyclopedia article. It's almost as if the author didn't want to write a Star Trek novel, but rather build a sci-fi universe from scratch, and thus the need for such detailed descriptions. The 21st history, as presented in the book, largely ignores the events established in "Space Seed", like the Eugenic Wars and Kahn's rule.
This "not-quite-Star-Trek" feel is further emphasized by the choice of Lt. Kevin Riley (a background character from a couple of episodes) as the hero, which gives the author much more freedom to build a new character. Not that Riley has a lot of personality here, anyway.
On the other hand, the characterization of Kirk, Spock and McCoy is rather shallow, or downright weird. Kirk is the responsible, brilliant Captain. But for some reason, he mutters "Tiberius" every time he becomes impatient, to remind himself not to be like his namesake Roman emperor, which is... odd. Spock is logical and veeeery long-winded. And stops his discourse to tell a folk Vulcan legend in the middle of an important conference (???). And McCoy is a doctor, and racist towards Spock, and that's all.
Possibly, the moments when Kirk teases Spock about his lack of emotions are the ones which feel more like the series. But the rest of the time, these could have been any other characters.
And despite being a novel by the writer of "The Trouble with Tribbles", humor is quite absent in the story.
All in all, and using a similar expression as Chekov, "I survived this book, but I didn't enjoy it".
Spoilers under the cut:
The Enterprise finds a giant generation ship that seems to contain a civilization. The whole crew is in awe and really surprised by this, but I don't know why, since the same has already happened in at least two other books by now. It takes like ten chapters just to establish that they should beam aboard to investigate it (yes, this novel is really, really slow).
Riley and some other redshirts find hostile humans inside, and are forced to attack them. A woman is gravely injured, so they beam her to the Enterprise to receive medical attention. The woman, Katwen, is shocked at finding other humans, as so far she thought her ship to be the whole world. At first she refuses to believe she's in a different ship, refers to the crew as "demons", and thinks they're tricking her. It's only when they bring her in a shuttlecraft, so she can see the Enterprise and her own ship from outside, that she starts to believe them. Katwen develops a friendship with Riley (that means, a romance).
After consulting with the Enterprise's historian, it turns out the generation ship is actually "The Wanderer", a ship that established its independence from Earth in the 21st century, and has been wandering ever since, in search for a new world. Lacking warp speed, entire generations have died and been born inside, without ever knowing anything about the rest of the universe.
As a note aside, the Wanderer is a really famous ship of historical importance, so I don't understand why nobody (not even Spock) had identified it until now. The way I see it, it's like finding a XVII century galleon at sea nowadays, and not realizing that's a galleon...
Anyway, the Wanderer is in serious danger, since it's heading straight into two orbiting black holes, known as the galactic whirlpool, and everyone will die if they don't correct the course immediately.
The problem is that the society of the Wanderer was split in two factions after a civil war: the rebels, who live in poverty in the lower levels and control the engines, which they disabled long time ago; and the regular citizens, who live upwards and control the ship's navigation. There are echoes here of the episode "The Cloud Minders", which was based in one of Gerrold's story concepts.
Katwen and Riley beam aboard the Wanderer, to convince Captain Frost of the need to cooperate with the rebels, to save the whole ship. Frost, however, is a dogmatic zealot who refuses to believe their story, and condemns them both to death.
The rebels save Riley and Katwen at the last moment, and then they meet their leader, who's actually the real Captain: Gomez.
In the end, the Enterprise designs a plan with Gomez, to invade the Wanderer from below and seize the ship's control from Frost. While Scotty brings the engines back to life. There's a sort of final battle between the rebels and the Enterprise crew on the one hand, and the men from the upper levels on the other. As a result of it, Frost dies, and his successor is finally willing to cooperate and correct the ship's course.
Spirk Meter: 0/10*. Considering Gerrold's opinions on K/S, it would be weird if there was anything... Unless you want to count Kirk teasing Spock about his emotional control, but I don't see it that way.
However, there's a little bit about McCoy and Spock fighting so much, because that's how they express their mutual affection.
*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.
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Chronotrek SNW to season 2 finale
Wow, I thought I had written at least one other post here. Turns out the show, like Discovery, is interesting enough that I couldn't watch it while working, which meant it was competing with all my other free time goals. Took me a while to get through them all! But I'll be headed to TOS next, which means I'll be able to watch while working again.
2x3 Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow
They really like to use timeline fuckery in Trek, don't they?
I had a realization- this Jim Kirk actor was in Army Wives (he was a soldier who tried to marry the general's 17 year old daughter) and one of the brothers in Vampire Diaries and even though I didn't _consciously_ remember either of those parts, that might have had something to do with why I was not a fan initially.
La'an has to shoulder so much. Survivor of gorn, bearer of her name, temporal agent to protect a genocidal murderer... and she can't talk about a lot of it and has nobody to share the burden with.
2x4
Why does the computer specify "officer's quarters" if everyone is officers? I don't know if you can tell, but this still really bothers me. Like... someone mentioned it's because they all have college degrees and are astronauts, etc., but... lots of enlisted have college degrees. That's not what makes you an officer. And AS a former enlisted, to me, it's 'if you work with your hands, you're enlisted'. If you're an officer, your job is more about either managing people or being the mouthpiece. When I see lieutenants and commanders holding tools it bothers me.
"I'm Erica Ortegas and I fly the ship"
2x5 Charades
It's going to bother me if Spock's mannerisms are treated like they're genetic and not cultural. He's not stilted and his language choices aren't because he has Vulcan blood, but because he has grown up on Vulcan around other Vulcans. Changing his DNA to human wouldnn't change how he acts. /sigh I'm trying to be better about recognizing the difference between storytelling device and realism and when one can be sacrificed for the other.
Amanda looked so different here, I needed to look it up to see if it was the same actress.
Charades? Really?
So by the end of the episode, I decided that they handled the mannerisms better than I had expected.
Demiromantic Nurse Chapel?
2x6
Zombie!Hemmer is fucking terrifying.
2x7? Crossover
The crossover was funny, which bodes well for me enjoying Lower Decks when I get to it in about 17 years. It's _AFTER VOYAGER_.
2x8
Digging M'Benga. He reminds me of a character I built once- a war vet who wanted to help instead of hurt. Except where my character was a True Believer on the Enemy Side who sought his own redemption, M'Benga was corrupted by the violence surrounding him and struggles with the consequences of sticking to your principles. It's very compelling.
The scene with the injured boy really spoke to it- you may have the luxury to sit out the fight and be pacifist, but that only means that someone else will be taking up arms in your absence. If you're a better warrior than most, is it ethical for you to put your weapons down when others will die because you weren't there? People who might not have died had you used your talents?
2x9 Subspace Rhapsody
Musical episode. Just when I was thinking that I was surprised Pike didn't sing his intro, the music was acapella.
Were all the bunny lines references to Buffy?
I like the relationship between Una and La'an.
Why exactly was it a two-person job if they're at the same console? I would have expected 'cross-targeting' to be like triangulating, needing to target from two different locations to better identify the target. Preferably from two SHIPS but at least two locations on the same ship.
I don't really like the way the singing was implemented. It feels like over-studio polished lip sync instead of being organic.
Why would they skew the frequencies like that on the UI panel?? future.
2x10 Hegemony
This one snuck up on me. I didn't realize the season was so short OR that it was over after this.
There was another "My God" that confuses me because I thought ST was post-religion.
Pike was willing to risk everything for Wynnona Earp Batel, but is he willing to do the same for his crew?
Does he feel a little invincible because he 'knows' his future? Is he aware of his Plot Armor? If he tried to kill himself prematurely, would it work? Confusing time stuff.
Anyway, I'm off to TOS. I'm not sure yet how I'll handle when SNW comes back.
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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, S1/Ep5 ("Cinnamon's Wake")
What Happens In This Episode: Dean Forrester's parents regret having unprotected sex 16 years earlier. Miss Patty tells Rory that plums are better than sex, giving Rory the most comprehensive sex ed lesson she's had thus far in her life. Lorelai agrees to a date with Max and Rory finds out. Babette's cat Cinnamon tragically passes on, and the town attends the wake.
Dumbass Dean is in the Netflix thumbnail for the episode. Just fantastic.
Cinnamon, an Icon.
IMPENDING DOOM.
American Horror Story:
Look, I'm not saying Dean Forrester fans (or even just people who think he's OKAY) don't exist (my best friend is one, sigh, and my other best friend is a LOGAN stan..where did I go wrong)...but, anyway, I don't know how to end that sentence. While the Jess vs Logan debate will go on until the end of time, this fandom does unilaterally agree on one thing: Dean is a garbage person. I think thats beautiful.
In about four years you will choose to lose your virginity to this man, who also somehow convinced another girl to marry him. What kind of evil powers does he wield?
That scene was unspeakably creepy! I need a shower! I feel unclean.
Me protecting Jess Mariano at all costs.
Life in Stars Hollow is so vibrant and exciting.
Rory question's Lane dream of moving to Philadelphia, asking "What would you do there?" Oh Rory, give it about 6 years and there will be something to "do" in Philadelphia.
I have a new hobby. Looking out for the real brand names and made up ones in this show. This one's got a feast of authentic brand names. I counted 8. Can you find them all?
(answers at bottom of post)
It feels kind of scandalous that you can buy pregnancy tests in Stars Hollow. I think half the town still thinks the stork delivers babies. Taylor Doose definitely does.
Well, Rory's first time having sex is with Dean, so Miss Patty isn't wrong.
Miss Patty is such a pervert and I relate to her.
Kirk's Jobs So Far: DSL Installer, Swan Delivery Boy, Grocery Store Assistant Manager. Reading his nametag, Mick is now officially Kirk.
Kirk to MIss Patty who is sampling produce: "I assume you're going to pay for the food that you've consumed?"
Where do you think you are, Kirk? Nobody in Stars Hollow pays for anything they eat.
How nice of Dean to ask what kind of sack I'd like to stuff him in before throwing him over a fence.
Cinnamon, we hardly knew ye.
Just put the sodas down here. Easy now. Now slowly back away. Over a cliff.
Alexis often legitimately looks terrified of Jared and I can't always tell how much of it is acting (yes, I am aware they sort of dated at one point).
The one and only!
That's right, we have yet to meet Taylor Doose. "The Owner". The ol Money Launderer himself. We haven't had a Town Meeting yet, either.
Disturbing.
No man can tame her.
Babette's a perv too. I love both of these Queens.
Babette apparently has a lot of gnomes. How did she even know when one was kidnapped?
I'm sensing a recurring theme here.
The most fateful three words to ever come out of Rory's mouth: "I am interested." She is doomed.
Another cursed image.
The Good: Babette and Miss Patty being pervs, Cinnamon the cat.
The Bad: Creepy Forrester. Cinnamon dies.
The Meh: Lorelai goes on a date with Max Medina. Max will always end up in the "meh" column.
Real Brands Sold At Doose's Market: Hawaiian Punch, Iams Dog Food, Stayfree Pads, Apple Jacks, Pepcid, Planters Cheese Puffs, Sugar Smacks, 7-Up.
#Anti Dean Forrester#Dean Forrester Sucks#Dean Forrester is Creepy#Gilmore girls#Lorelai Gilmore#Rory Gilmore#Miss Patty#Max Medina#Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls#Gilmore Girls Season 1#Cinnamons Wake
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Workplace Romance (Chekov x Reader)
Pairing: AOS Pavel Chekov/Reader
Rating: PG for language and CHARACTER DEATH MENTION
A/N: Oh, Pavel Chekov, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Surprise, they’re all that he’s adorable and deserves love. I wish I could have done more today (curse an impromptu Texas highway drive with my dad), but I hope this is a good enough note to end things on. :)
You didn’t really have all the details, but you were sure someone would fill you in.
For one, you knew Admiral Pike was dead. That had been all over the news, and your faithful “self-proclaimed cool uncle captain guy” Jim Kirk had messaged you as soon as he had gotten himself to stop shaking and sobbing. Granted, you didn’t actually see him cry, but you knew how close the two had been. You would have been more surprised if he wasn’t broken at least a little. You also knew that there was a dangerous terrorist on the loose; you weren’t scared of an angry, pissy British guy, but Jim had warned you to be careful, so careful you would be.
“Sign off on the missiles, Scotty!”
And now, apparently, there were missiles.
“No specs, no signature!”
You didn’t always like eavesdropping, but this seemed to important to miss. After all, you were the auxiliary chief engineer. You had a right to know about this, since it pertained to work.
“прости!”
You turned when a soft thing knocked against your shoulder; it was just Pavel coming aboard and passing by. You offered him a kind smile. You knew the boy your age was clumsy at times. Plus, he was exceptionally cute. That always helps.
“It’s okay, Chekov,” you said. You wanted to elaborate in hopes of spurring further conversation, but, as usual, the navigator spat out a parting word and left. Oh well. He probably had more important things to do than you, anyway.
Not like, do you, do you. Just...dinner would be nice.
You were so engrossed in the presence of the cute navigator that you nearly missed your CO handing over his PADD and straight-up walking off the ship with Keenser.
What the fresh fuck?
You must not have been as quiet as you thought, because Captain Kirk beckoned you forward, “It’s alright, Lieutenant. I’m glad you heard it all here.”
“Sir, I’m still an ensign,” you pointed out.
“Then, congratulations on the promotion,” Jim handed you Scotty’s PADD. Your eyes bugged. “He said you were the only one he’d trust to take care of the ship. If there’s any way for me to make your transition smoother, let me know.”
You signed off on the missiles, first and foremost. If it was that big of a deal, you wanted to fluff your position up with a little job security.
“I think I’ve got most of it,” you said, and he walked along with you. “But I can’t do this on my own. I need a replacement me, and I need them fast.”
“I’ll send you a list of candidates, and you tell me who you want.”
You sighed as the captain headed up toward the bridge.
Great. Just peachy.
Jim pursed his lips as he sent more and more requests down at you, though he was certain none of them would stick out. You were particular in your working style, something that many of those candidates would be apt to ignore. He needed someone who would respect you, and your work ethic, and be interested in helping you, and not mind spending all day every day with you, and also know enough to keep up after such an abrupt placement and- oh god he knew exactly who to send you.
He just...decided he would surprise you. After all, everyone likes surprises. And you would definitely thank him later, so he was sure you wouldn’t mind.
“Ensign Chekov,” Jim casually approached the navigation console as casually as James Tiberius Kirk can approach anything in life, “I understand you’ve been shadowing Mr. Scott and Ms. Y/L/N for a long time.”
“Yes, keptin.”
“I don’t know if you know this, but Mr. Scott has resigned from the Enterprise,” Kirk continued, noting Chekov’s shocked expression. “Y/N’s working all alone down there, and she could use a hand, which is why I’m making you the new auxiliary chief engineer. Go put on a red shirt.”
There were many reasons Chekov did not want to put on a red shirt- least of all being in such close proximity to death- but it wasn’t like he could disobey a direct order.
No matter how much being near you gave him butterflies, he couldn’t disobey a direct order.
“Aye, keptin....”
“Sir,” someone called to you, “warp core is functioning and stable.”
“Just keep the stupid missiles away from it,” you had your nose in your PADD, going over various extra suggested replacements sent to you from Commander Spock for the position of auxiliary chief engineer.
“What warp factor should we prepare for?”
“Send Lieutenant Sulu a notice and hopefully he’ll reply promptly enough that we’ll be fine.”
“The nacelles are overheating a little, sir-”
“What do you mean the nacelles are overheating?! We haven’t even moved!”
Now you understood why Scotty was always ready to fight someone.
“U-um…Lieutenant Y/L/N?” A small voice said from the antechamber. Your hair swished as you turned, surprised, to see sweet Pavel Chekov, looking nervous and out-of-place in a brand-new red shirt. “Keptin Kirk said that I was to report here as your auxiliary chief.”
Your first instinct was to bark at him for Captain Kirk’s impatience and snap-reassignment, especially of a boy as kind as Pavel.
Then it hit you.
Of course Jim would reassign Pavel Chekov to work so closely with you, that sneaky bastard.
“Alright, Mr. Chekov,” you took a breath. “Welcome to engineering.”
This was going to be interesting.
“What do you mean, there’s a coolant leak?!”
It had taken about an hour for something to go horribly wrong, and it was kind of stressing you out. Well, you supposed it didn’t help that Chekov kept floating a few feet behind you like a beacon of nerves and anxiety.
“One of the pipes has started leaking, sir,” an ensign said. “We’re trying to find the source.”
“Can you try faster?! We’re gonna end up stuck in Klingon airspace!”
“Yes, sir!”
“What can we try for now?”
You sighed at Chekov’s question. You knew there wasn’t much to be done until the leak was found; hell, you knew that he knew there wasn’t a barrel full of options. It had been unnecessary and oxygen-wasting questions for the last two hours, and you were up to here.
“We can pull out of warp from here, but that’s about it.”
“Can I help in any way?”
You were trying not to get frustrated with him. You really were, but a stressed engineer could only take so much.
“Chekov, honey, you just asked that with different words,” you tried your hardest to stay as calm as possible. “I’m really glad that you want to help, but what I really need for right now is for you to...not want to help.”
“Lieutenant Y/L/N, did you break my ship?” you heard Jim on the comm.
“I’M SORRY, DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, MISTER CAPTAIN ‘I’M-RECKLESS-AND-I-HAVE-NO-SELF-CONTROL’?!”
Your face was as red as your shirt. It was obvious to Chekov that you needed a break.
“I-I will look for the source of the coolant leak,” he offered. “May I bring you a glass of water, as well?”
His kindness in the face of your outburst floored you; embarrassed, your cheeks were flaring for a different reason, now.
“Yes, please,” you said quietly. “Thank you, Chekov.”
He nodded and left you to take a breather.
You had to admit, for being thrown into the most stressful part of the ship (second only to maybe the medbay), Chekov was handling this even more life-threatening development incredibly well.
Gravity disabled? No big deal.
Power weakened? Show him a panel and he can try his best.
Warp core destabilized? Okay, he’ll wait for you to work something out.
The ship’s crashing headfirst into San Francisco? Cool, he’ll roll with it.
You, on the other hand, were a ball of stress.
“Is anything still working in here?!” you snapped at an ensign; one of the handful left after the hull breach.
“Air conditioning?”
You were this close to actually throwing yourself into space.
Scotty had been wrong; you weren’t the proper replacement. You had too many things coming at you from all sides, and for all that had happened, Pavel wasn’t faring much better. There were only so many places he could be and so many things he could try to do; you were stretched even thinner than him, and he had already dissolved into a disheveled pile of curls and sweat.
This was really going to be it. Just you and the Russian rushing down to a catwalk where the captain and Scotty were about to fly off into space and HOLY SHIT WAIT A SECOND WHAT THE HELL.
You had to look again to make sure it was real: Chekov was the sole thing keeping Jim and Scotty from dying. Your heart was leaping for so many different reasons, it took a moment for you to transition from damn, he’s stronger than I thought, that’s attractive to oh shit they need help.
Of course, though, by the time you met them down a few flights of stairs, Chekov had them safely behind a boiler.
“Lassie, will you go flip the switch behind the reflector dish?” Scotty asked.
“I thought you’d never be around again to ask...come on, Pavel,” you pulled the out-of-breath boy along with you. The ground shifted underneath your feet, causing you to fall into Chekov’s arms and slide down an apparatus toward the reflector dish.
“That was really cool!” you cried on the way down. “Where the hell did you get the guts to do that?”
“You,” he admitted, “mostly because you’re so incredible for being able to handle this place every day!”
“Well, it’s not exactly every day that we almost die!” You quipped as your boots finally hit the edge of the switch. It took you and Pavel together to lift the cover off and flip the switch. When the familiar whir of power came on, you couldn’t stop beaming. Pavel smiled happily at your blissful relief; god, you were so beautiful, even bruised from sliding around and covered in sweat and grease.
“So, I gotta ask, why not work down here full time?” you suggested.
“The bridge is...much quieter. No offense to engineering, but I prefer the cushier environment,” he admitted sheepishly. “Though, there are perks to working down here.”
“What, my charming personality?”
Chekov gathered up every ounce of courage in his body, “No, not entirely. Just being around you.”
You couldn’t contain your grin, and why would you? You two had just survived not dying horribly. Feeling bold, you pulled his face over and planted a kiss on his nose.
“It’s a shame, I like being around you, too,” you smiled, taking in his sudden flustered state.
“So...um...” he fidgeted when he realized he was now cradling you in his lap, “what now?”
“Dinner would be nice,” you offered.
“Aye,” Chekov grinned and noted the damage around you two, “especially since we will be grounded for a very, very long time.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” you giggled.
Pavel pulled you into a hug, and you buried your face in his neck, more content than you’d ever been and certain that nothing, not anything in the whole wide world, could bring you down now.
Tagging: @impalaanddemons, @barbrichards
#nobody tell her kirk dies#just let her be happy#pavel chekov#chekov day#pavel chekov x reader#ensign chekov x reader#chekov x reader#pavel chekov imagine#ensign chekov imagine#chekov imagine#star trek imagine#star trek aos imagine#star trek into darkness imagine#i'm a sucker for these tropes#but also it's like 11 pm here#i'm dead#i'm skipping my run tomorrow morning lol#time to go out with a bang
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WE DID IT!
**flops dramatically onto a fainting couch**
So a little over a month ago, my friend @twdobsessive and I were having a tiny bit of a slump, writing-wise. I had just seen several Kinktober projects and was suitably impressed. I didn't think I was up to writing 31 fics by myself (yikes!) so I bugged her about it, and she shockingly said yes. Our only rule was not to worry about the timing (which is like waving a red flag in front of a procrastinator like myself) and lo and behold we ended up with January, instead of October. Our little project had us both stretching our wings with new fandoms- sixteen total! Whoo!! The word count is 101,137!! (Although, I did have one of the fics turn into a multi-chaptered, so it will be slightly higher by the time that's posted.)
Here is the entire series!
Tweedo, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for doing this crazy thing with me.
Under the cut are the tags (which I can never tell if this will get this post banned or not, but here ya go.)
Age Difference
Airplane Sex
Airplanes
Alcohol
Alternate Canon
Alternate Universe
Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex
Alternate Universe - Canon
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies
Alternate Universe - Gender Changes
Always Female Stiles Stilinski
Anal
Anal Fingering
Anal Play
Anal Sex
Angry Kissing
Angry Sex
Angst
Angst and Hurt/Comfort
Angst with a Happy Ending
Anonymity
Anonymous Sex
Attempt at Humor
Attraction
Bad Dirty Talk
Badass
BAMF Sheriff Stilinski
BAMFs
Barebacking
Bathing/Washing
Bathroom Sex
Bathrooms
BDSM
Beds
Begging
Belly Kink
Blades
Blindfolds
Blow Jobs
Bodily Fluids
Body Part Kinks
Body Worship
Bondage
Boot Worship
Bottom James T. Kirk
Bottom Jim
Bottoming
Branding
Canon Compliant
Canon Universe
Car Sex
Cars
Caught
Chains
Chastity Device
Chatting & Messaging
Cis Female Stiles Stilinski
Clothing
Cock Cages
Cock Rings
Coercion
Come Eating
Come Marking
Comeplay
Coming of Age
Coming Out
Coming Untouched
Confessions
Confidence
Consensual
Consensual Kink
Consensual Somnophilia
Consent
Consent Issues
Crying
Cuddling & Snuggling
Denial
Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings
Derek Hale Leaves
Derek Hale Leaves Beacon Hills
Desperation
Deviates From Canon
Dirty Talk
Docking
Dom Rick
Dom Rick Grimes
Dom/sub
Dom/sub Undertones
Dominance
Drugged Sex
Drugs
Drunk Sex
Drunkenness
Dry Humping
Dry Sex
Dubious Consent
Edgeplay
Ejaculate
Emotional Hurt/Comfort
Enthusiastic Consent
Established Relationship
Everybody Lives
Everyone Is Alive
Exhibitionism
Falling In Love
Feeding
Feeding Kink
Feelings
Felching
Female Stiles Stilinski
Fights
Filthy
Fingerfucking
First Kiss
First Time
First Time Blow Jobs
First Time Bottoming
Firsts
Fluff
Fluff and Humor
Flying
Foot Fetish
Foot Massage
Forced Prostitution
Foreskin Play
Friendship
Friendship/Love
Frustration
Fuck Or Die
Gender Related
Glory Hole
Good
Good Derek Hale
Growing Up
Growth
Hair
Hair-pulling
Hand & Finger Kink
Hand Feeding
Hands
Happy Ending
Headspace
Humiliation
Humor
Hurt/Comfort
Idiots in Love
Impact Play
In Public
Intoxication
Japanese Rope Bondage
Kink Meme
Kinks
Kissing
Knifeplay
Knives
Lace Panties
LGBTQ Themes
Light Angst
Light BDSM
Light Bondage
Light Dom/sub
Loss of Virginity
Love
Love Confessions
Lust
Magical Stiles Stilinski
Manhandling
Marijuana
Marking
Massage
Masturbation
Mental Coercion
Mental Health Issues
Mile High Club
Milking
Mind Control
Mind Meld
Mindfuck
Multiple Orgasms
Napping
Nipple Clamps
Nipple Play
Nipples
No Lube
Non-Sexual
Obedience
One-Sided Attraction
One-Sided Relationship
Oral Sex
Orgasm
Orgasm Control
Orgasm Delay/Denial
Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Outdoor Sex
Outing
Ownership
Pain
Painplay
Panic
Panic Attacks
Panties
Penises
Peter Hale is a Little Shit
Peter is a Little Shit
Pining
Pining Derek
Platonic Cuddling
Platonic Relationships
Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Porn
Porn with Feelings
Post-Canon
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
POV Derek
POV Derek Hale
POV Logan (X-Men)
POV Male Character
Power Dynamics
Power Play
Praise Kink
Prostate Massage
Prostate Milking
Prostitution
Protective Derek
Protective Derek Hale
Protective Peter
Protective Peter Hale
Protective Rick
Protective Rick Grimes
Protectiveness
Public Blow Jobs
Public Sex
Punishment
Rain
Rain Sex
References to Knotting
Relationship(s)
Rimming
Road Trips
Roleplay
Rope Bondage
Rough Kissing
Roughness
Rutting
S&M
Safe Sane and Consensual
Scars
Self Confidence
Self Confidence Issues
Self-Lubrication
Semi-Public Sex
Sensation Play
Sensory Deprivation
Sex
Sex Pollen
Sex Toys
Sex Work
Sexting
Sexual Content
Sexual Frustration
Sexual Inexperience
Sharing
Sharing a Bed
Sharing a Room
Sharing Body Heat
Shower Sex
Showers
Size Difference
Size Kink
Sleep
Sleepy/Unconscious Sex
Slow Build
Slow Burn
Somnophilia
Spanking
Submission
Subspace
Suicidal Thoughts
Suicide
T'hy'la
Tears
Teasing
Texting
The Author Regrets Nothing
Top Rick
Top Rick Grimes
Topping
Touch-Starved
Touching
Trauma
Travel
Trust
Trust Issues
Trust Kink
Uncircumcised Penis
Underwear
Uniform Kink
Unrequited
Vehicles
Vehicular Sex
Virginity
Virginity Kink
Voice Kink
Voyeurism
Vulcan
Vulcan Culture
Vulcan Kisses
Vulcan Mind Melds
Weapons
Weapons Kink
Weather
Wet & Messy
Whipping
Worship
#twdobsessive#1lostone#writing#kink-anuary#The Avengers#Critical Role#The Incredible Hulk#Walking Dead#Rickyl#Sterek#Teen Wolf#Star Trek AOS#MCU#X-Men
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What is the Multiverse? Five Must-See Alternate Timeline TV Episodes to Watch After ‘Loki’
Look, I get it — multiverse storytelling can be confusing. Marvel’s Loki streaming series is only the latest in a long line of stories that plays fast and loose with the idea of multiple or parallel timelines. Loki follows the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) after he gets involved with the Time Variance Authority, or the TVA, as they try to correct problems in individual timelines. This provides us a chance to see lots of variant Lokis (including our favorite chompy green boy) and opens up opportunities for a lot of zany storytelling that doesn’t necessarily have to impact the primary timeline.
The idea of multiple universes existing at the same time isn’t anything new. Some of the earliest examples date back to Norse mythology, which divided existence into nine worlds. DC Comics first introduced the idea of the DC multiverse in its comics in All Star Comics #3 in 1940, and Marvel later followed suit, starting with their What if? series in the 1970s. While the concept of parallel universes might feel a little daunting to contemplate on your own, these five television episodes will help you understand the magic of the multiverse.
“The Parallel” — The Twilight Zone
When it comes to television that changed the way we think, Rod Serling‘s The Twilight Zone is the forebear of them all. The original series ran from 1959 to 1964 and contained stories from science fiction greats like Ray Bradbury (Farhenheit 451) and Richard Matheson (I Am Legend). Each episode in the anthology series told a different short story, most with the intent of exploring some political or social allegory.
In 1963’s “The Parallel”, Major Robert Gaines (Steve Forrest) is orbiting earth in his space capsule when he suddenly blacks out and wakes up on Earth with no memory of how he got there. He’s uninjured, but the world he’s arrived in doesn’t quite match the one he left. His daughter suspects he’s someone else, his house suddenly has a white picket fence that his wife swears has always been there, and everyone keeps calling him Colonel, which matches his uniform but not his memories. He’s a little shaken until he comes to the conclusion that he’s in a parallel universe, and then takes steps to get back to his own timeline.
“The Parallel” marks the first instance of multiverse storytelling on TV. It doesn’t do anything particularly groundbreaking and is a middle-of-the-road The Twilight Zone episode, but it’s the first, which means it paved the way for everyone else to tell TV stories about parallel universes and doppelgangers.
“Mirror Mirror”/”Crossover” — Star Trek/Star Trek Deep Space Nine
Did I say doppelgangers? If there’s one franchise that has capitalized on the potential fun of meeting your alternate self, it’s Star Trek. In the “Mirror Mirror” episode of the original series, a teleporter mishap sends Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura to a parallel dimension where everything is reversed. The Federation has become an evil Empire, Kirk is a tyrant, and Spock has a goatee (that’s how you know he’s evil). The episode started several tropes about doppelgangers (including the whole goatee thing), and paved the way for future Star Trek iterations to really go wild with the Mirror Universe.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine explored the Mirror Universe more than any other Star Trek series, with stories taking place there over five different episodes. The first of these, “Crossover,” is the most important and sets the stage for the later mirror episodes. In “Crossover,” Major Kira (Nana Visitor) and Doctor Bashir (Alexander Siddig) have an accident inside of the wormhole near the planet Bajor, sending them to the Mirror Universe. It’s been decades since Kirk and co. crossed over, but things are still pretty backwards in the Mirrorverse. Instead of the Federation, there’s a coalition between the Klingons, Cardassians, and Bajorans. Terrans (a fancy word for Earthlings) have been enslaved. The space station Deep Space Nine is instead a mining operation, run by the alternate Kira, the Intendant.
There are few things in the world as enjoyable as watching Visitor play her double role. The entire cast really gets to go for it with their Mirrorverse personas, and you can tell they’re having a blast. The Mirror Universe in Deep Space Nine gave the actors a chance to explore their characters in new ways, and it provided more insight into their individual pathos. Sure, the Mirrorverse versions were the “evil” versions of themselves, but there were still versions of themselves. Kira is a strong leader with a dry sense of humor, regardless of whether she’s the former Bajoran freedom fighter or the Intendant. “Crossover” set up the following four Deep Space Nine Mirror episodes, including episodes where Captain Sisko (Avery Brooks) must pretend to be his doppelganger and deal with the fact that his dead wife is still very alive in the parallel universe. Some of the episodes are silly fun, and some are a bit more heady, but they all get to explore sides of these characters that we’ve never seen before.
“Remedial Chaos Theory” — Community
The NBC sitcom Community frequently made its own riffs on popular tropes, and it had an utter field day with parallel universes. In the season 3 episode, “Remedial Chaos Theory,” viewers are treated to seeing six different ways the same evening could have played out. The friends, who met in a Spanish study group at their community college, are all celebrating Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) moving into a new apartment. When the pizza arrives, group leader Jeff (Joel McHale) suggests they roll dice to see who has to go get the pizza. Abed, who is sensitive to tropes, points out that Jeff is creating new timelines by introducing chance, and then we get to see each of them play out.
What “Remedial Chaos Theory” does is brilliant. It’s a bottle episode, all set in one location with no visible impact on the overall plot. However, by seeing how the situations change each time a single character is removed from the group dynamic, we’re able to learn so much more about the group as a whole. The episode gives us insight into the characters and their relationships by changing up the formula just a pinch and removing one element. In the Darkest Timeline, which leaves Pierce (Chevy Chase) dead and severely maims the rest of the group, it’s revealed that things fall apart without Troy in the mix. At the end of the episode, the prime timeline continues and it’s Jeff who has to go get the pizza. This ends up being the most positive of the timelines, which means maybe the group is better off without Jeff at all. It’s a great piece of character storytelling and even ends with the Darkest Timeline versions of Troy and Abed making felt goatees for themselves before declaring they are Evil Troy and Evil Abed.
“Rixty Minutes” – Rick and Morty
Community showrunner Dan Harmon clearly has a love for stories involving parallel timelines, so it’s no surprise that he expanded on those ideas in Rick and Morty, the adult animated series he developed with Justin Roiland. Rick and Morty is a kind of Back to the Future for twisted adults; it follows the adventures of alcoholic mad scientist Rick Sanchez (Roiland) and his hapless grandson Morty Smith (also Roiland) as they travel through space and time. In the first season episode “Rixty Minutes,” Rick introduces the entire Smith family to the many parallel timelines that exist. He and Morty watch Interdimensional Cable in the A plot, which gives Roiland a chance for lots of fun improvisational gags, but the B plot is more interesting. In order to enjoy his cable watching, Rick gives Morty’s parents and sister a helmet that will let them see through the eyes of some of their alternate selves.
Jerry (Chris Parnell) finds a version of himself that’s a huge Hollywood player who parties with Johnny Depp. Beth (Sarah Chalke) finds a reality where she’s not a horse surgeon, but a human surgeon, like she always wanted. Their teenage daughter Summer (Spencer Grammar) discovers that she was an unplanned pregnancy and that her parents argued about whether or not to get an abortion. In the parallel universes, she either doesn’t exist or her life is hopelessly boring. This leads to a pretty massive existential crisis, but she’s stopped by Morty, who has already had his fair share of timey-wimey weirdness.
Morty takes Summer upstairs and shows her two dirt mounds in the backyard. He explains that he’s not the Morty from this timeline, and that he and Rick had to come here after things in their timeline got too bad. The Rick and Morty in this timeline had just died, so they slipped in unnoticed. Then, Morty gives Summer a bit of advice that shows he’s beginning to grow up a bit on his madcap adventures.
“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?” he pleads.
The episode ends with the entire Smith family realizing that dwelling on possible alternate realities will only ever cause problems. It’s a testament to living in the here and now, and is one of the series’ most emotionally resounding moments.
There are dozens of shows with multiverse stories out there, from ’90s sci-fi staple Sliders to the later seasons of Supernatural. These five, however, helped expand upon the trope as a whole, and are worth checking out to improve your pop culture savvy. That, and they’re just a lot of fun.
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Dreams and Disasters
Pairing: TOS Bones x Reader
Words: 2453
Plot: Taking place after the events of “The Empath”, the reader keeps on having nightmares about what happened. She can’t sleep and Bones does everything to make her better.
Warning: Just uh really bad writing ig, too many words, Bones being an absolute sweetheart...
I’ll be posting imagines I have already written about our favorite southern doctor while I work on your fic @emily-strange but I hope you like it
You woke up crying. It was the fourth time this month and the same nightmare from a past experience where some alien held you and Bones captive and did experiments on the both of you. The bed was empty and cold beside you and you feared that it wasn't a dream. You slipped on one of his medical scrubs and went to Sickbay. If he wasn't there or on the bridge, then it wasn't a nightmare.
There were only a few people in the hallways of the Enterprise. Most of them were sleeping peacefully in their cabins. It must be nice for them. The doors to Sickbay opened and you looked inside. Nobody on the biobeds. Nobody almost dying from a weird space disease. You turned around and went into the office, where you let out a sigh and tears of relief.
"(Y/N), what are you doin' up?" Bones asked while standing up from his chair.
"I noticed that the bed was empty," you whispered.
"If you wanted to know why the bed was empty, then why are you crying? You're not gonna bug me, darlin', you can tell me."
"Remember what happened a month ago? With the alien and the experiment?"
"It's about that, huh? Come 'ere."
You slowly made your way to him. You were scared that he would disappear as soon as you touched him. You were scared that this was the actual nightmare.
"Darlin', you don't have to be afraid."
And that sent you over the edge, you ran to him and he hugged you. "Make them go away, please," you cried, "please, Len."
"I'll try everything I can. Why don't we return to my cabin so you can sleep? I'll go with you if that's what you want."
You nodded into his shoulder and he placed his hands near your elbows. "Come on now."
You nodded again and stepped away from him. You wiped your tears off with your arm. "I'm being overdramatic," you sniffed before laughing.
"No, you're just being emotional over some old country doctor."
You laughed again as he took your hand and lead you back to his cabin.
"You know, blue suits you quite well, dear," Bones said softly as you both walked down the corridor.
You suddenly remembered that you were wearing his scrub and blushed. "I forgot I put this on, sorry, Bones."
He let out a small laugh as the door to his room came open. It was different from what you heard a month ago, his laugh was light, soft, happy.
"I want you to go lie down, I'll be there in a moment."
"Ok," you told him as he brought your knuckles up to his lips and planting a soft kiss there. You stayed there for a moment, feeling the warmth of his hand and the ghost of his kiss.
"I'm not going to leave you again. I just had to do some last-minute paperwork."
You nodded as you took your hand back and crept your way to the bed.
"You should probably take some time off," Bones told you as he went behind the barrier between the bed and the next room over.
"I'll be fine."
"As the man courting you, I want you to take time off, as your chief medical officer and doctor, I want you to take some time off. It's the fourth time this month. Your file says that your performance level has dropped since everything has started."
"I can't argue with my superior officer, can I?" You sighed as you stared at the wall where a painting of a vase with flowers was hanging.
"It's not recommended, but hell, that never stopped anyone on this ship. I think you're the first person who hasn't argued with me when I told them that they needed rest," he said while laying next to you.
You laughed and looked at him and he looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes.
"I'll send a report to Jim early tomorrow for some time off duty. I don't want to see you in sickbay unless I ask or you're dying."
"Aw, Bones," you whined.
"No, you need rest."
You sighed again, "You're right. A few days to sleep won't be too bad."
"No, actually, it wouldn't."
"Will you be here if something happens again?" You asked.
"Of course," he reassured softly, "Either go to sickbay or call me and I'll be there."
"You have such pretty eyes," you sighed.
"Now you're just trying to sweet-talk me," he muttered.
"Why would I do that?" You asked innocently.
Bones only shook his head. "Goodnight, darlin."
"Goodnight."
~
You woke up again, the nightmare wasn't as bad, but it was there. Bones was still asleep next to you, snoring softly. You got out of bed and went to the observation lounge. Nobody was roaming the ship by this point. You walked into the room and went to open the panel over the window. You pressed yourself against the window, watching the stars fly past the window.
"I thought you would be here," Kirk said, making you turn around.
"I plan on returning before Bones finds out I was here. I already worried him tonight. He already told me that he wants me to take a few days rest."
"I'll be getting a report in the morning then," he chuckled.
Silence fell between the two of you.
"Captain, what happened a month ago, I wish it never happened."
"We all do, Lieutenant."
He was now standing next to you, also looking out the window. "I'm just glad that we were able to save McCoy."
"I'm glad also, Captain, now I have an old southern doctor by my side constantly," you laughed.
"Go back to your cabin, I feel like he's looking for you by now."
Kirk then left and you stayed there, your eyes slowly closing as you passed through another system. You felt a blanket drop on your shoulders and you snapped out of it. "If I knew this was a game of hide-and-go-seek, then I may as well microchipped you."
His voice was deep and tired. You felt bad for him because you didn't mean to wake him up. Hell, he even looked tired.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on a wild goose chase, I couldn't sleep."
"I could give you a hypo to knock you out for a few hours," Bones smiled as he stood beside you, his shoulder pressed against the glass. "Or a few days."
"I'll get better with some time," you told him while you hugged the blanket tightly.
"If I knew better, I would've thought that you fell asleep standing up."
You chuckled, "You're a very funny man, Doc."
"Oh god, you've gone insane, you called me doc."
You sighed and continued to look out the window at the millions of stars and other space objects. "It's funny how we're here. It's not the same as we're on earth, we're experiencing things nobody will believe. I just wanted to know that we're not alone in the universe, and I learned that we're not. I just wished that it wasn't the way it was."
"But I'm sure you had some good times, too."
"I did. I'm on the best ship in the federation, I haven't died yet, I have some really good friends."
"Is that all?"
"Of course not, I'm sure there are more good things to come. I'm not optimistic, but I got to be hopeful, right?"
"I couldn't have said it better myself."
"How long until your shift?"
"A few hours, at least. You slept for quite a while."
You now looked at him. "You being serious about that hypo?"
"Oh god no," he chuckled, "Maybe for a few hours, not a few days."
"I hate the fact that I still remember everything that happened. Emotional trauma at it's finest, is it not? Sometimes I get scared that this is the nightmare and you'll disappear as soon as I touch you. I still remember the captain carrying you into sickbay and Nurse Chapel and Doctor M'Benga doing everything to stop you from dying. I requested leave from my shift for a few days as you got better and I spent every minute in sickbay. Nurse Chapel had to tell me to leave every day, she was concerned that I would be affecting your recovery."
"Did you leave?"
"I did for a few hours, then I snuck back inside. She wasn't happy."
"She means well."
"Aren't the stars pretty," you sighed as you looked out the window.
"I guess they are."
"You guess?" You laughed in disbelief.
"We've been in space for two years now. Everything looks the same."
"But there's always something different. You might not see it at first but you'll find it eventually."
"I think I already have," he whispered.
You looked at him again and realized that he wasn't looking at the stars. No, he was too distracted by someone else.
He took his finger and placed it under your chin. He noticed how you saw the reflection of the stars in the corner of his eye.
"Bones?"
"Yeah?"
"Whatcha doing?"
"This," he said softly while leaning in. He planted a kiss on your lips, the first one you ever had.
You closed your eyes and placed your hands on his chest.
"I'm sorry," Bones apologized while cupping your face.
"No, don't be, it was the perfect setting," you reassured him before yawning.
"And it's the perfect setting for you to return to my cabin. Come on get to bed, maybe I can shorten your rest days if you get better."
"I'll only get better with time Leonard. We can only decide then."
"Are you sure you're not a doctor of some kind?" He asked as you two walked into the hallway, your arms were linked together.
"No," you laughed tiredly, "Just a security girl who's in love with a doctor and only has some basic medical knowledge."
"Like what?"
"Um, the skull is called the cranium, duh."
"You have basic anatomy knowledge, that's good to know." He laughed as you got into the turbolift. "I have to go to the bridge and drop off something to Jim."
The turbolift heard the word bridge and it started to move.
"I'm really sorry about leading you on a chase earlier. I just had a feeling to go to the observation deck."
"Did you have another nightmare?"
"Yeah, but it wasn't as bad. It was one of those ones where you're falling forever."
"I may have to do a brain scan. Maybe some neurological stuff, you know, the usual," he joked while slightly bouncing.
"I think I just need the constant reassurance that you're not dead or dying."
"I'm not going to die in space, heaven forbid I do."
You threw your head back and laughed, covering your mouth in the process. The turbolift opened and you both stepped onto the bridge.
"(Y/N), I see that Bones found you," Kirk said while turning his head to look at you two.
"I forgot to drop some reports off. I have them right here," Bones said while giving Jim a chip.
"Ah, thank you, Bones. I'll see the two of you tomorrow."
"Good night, Captain," you said while you and Bones went into the turbolift.
"You know, I can't wait to sleep for like three days straight."
"Neither can I, no offense, but you-"
"Look like trash, yeah, I know. No feelings were hurt."
"Just trying to be a southern gentleman."
The turbolift stopped and you looked at Bones, who stopped it. "I need to tell you something," he spoke softly.
"Yes? What is it?"
He stopped and looked at the floor. He acted the same way he did a month ago, he couldn't get what he wanted to say out. He continued to look at the floor, blinking a few times while pursing his lips. He sightly bounced again. "I want you to take care of yourself."
You smiled a caring smile at him. It was his way of saying that he loves you. He never actually said those three words but he found other ways to mean the same thing. He would say "Take care of yourself" or "Be careful" or he'll tell you to eat when you've forgotten or he'll try to help you sleep when you couldn't. It all meant one meaning to you.
And when he said something like that you would always smile at him and say, "I love you too, Bones."
He smiled lightly and opened the door and stepped out, you followed behind.
"Sleeping for three days, here I come!" You cheered while running past him and into his quarters.
You jumped on the bed and it bounced and you removed the blanket from your shoulders and covered yourself up with it.
Bones came in after you and saw you already in bed. He had four hours until his shift so he decided to stay awake, but instead, he laid next to you.
"Goodnight, Bones," you told him cutely, "See you in three days."
"Three days without you would be hell, darlin," Bones told you before he kissed your forehead softly, "Goodnight."
{Extended ending but in bullet points}
• Bones came in every two hours
• He sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, happy that you were still asleep
• He would hold your hand until he had to leave
• Just Leonard being a caring doctor boyfriend ™ like he is
• He would only wake you up when he thought that you needed to eat
• Bones would come in with a tray from the cafeteria and set it down on the counter before waking you up
• His ways to wake you up is as follows: shaking your shoulder, trying to talk you into waking up, then kissing you. In that order.
• "Well good mornin', darlin'. I brought you lunch because you're the only one who hasn't eaten yet."
• You would sit in bed and eat and talk to Bones
• "Any nightmares?"
• "The opposite. I've been having good dreams."
• "What about?"
• "The two of us. In the observation deck, when you kissed me. How shameless of me being this romantic."
• He would sometimes come in and see you reading a book or sketching something
• When he kissed you awake you would complain and tell him that you're not Sleeping Beauty
• He kinda pouts and tells you that you are a princess and then kisses you again because he be like that all the time
• After a few days, he finally lets you return to work :)
#bones mccoy#bones mccoy tos#deforest kelley#star trek#bones x reader#leonard mccoy#star trek imagines#to boldly no imagines
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Three Days ~ 73
~*~Sebastian~*~
The group of us walked the edge of the room to the stairs. Bar tables were in a line and following the other's lead I helped push them against the wall, leaving an open area for us to stand. Emma led me to stand up front with Angie right as the house lights went out. Kirk came running and I moved behind Emma to give him room. Put me in a better position to feel up Emma anyway.
A bank of speakers over the stage was on the level and aimed right at us. My ears would be ringing all night. Nothing would beat the acoustic living room show from a few weeks ago. Still, the music and energy were fun. I was sucked in, like everyone else. Unlike with volleyball, Emma didn't ignore me. While I was behind her I ran an occasional hand over her hip. Each time Emma would do something: reach behind to lay a hand on my leg, turn her head to kiss me, or lean back into me. Several songs in the music slowed. I invaded Emma's personal space, moving up on her, and wrapping an arm around her my hand was seated on her ribcage, my thumb stroking the underside of her breast. My other hand held onto her hip, keeping her close where the pressure from her relieved a little of the ache in my jeans. She cupped the back of my head and turned to nuzzle against my neck. We stayed close and moved to the beat. The feel and smell of her did things to me.
When the tempo picked up again Emma turned to the side and pulled me between her and Angie. I stayed a half step back so they could talk and react together, but I was included. There were songs they had choreography too. Not the band, Emma, Angie, and Kirk. I played along as best I could, more than once we fell together laughing. The shot of tequila layered with the edible had me happily baked. Not enough tequila to be drunk or knock down the high. This was a good buzz I wanted to maintain. I drank half of Emma’s tequila, afraid her lower body mass would make it too much and she'd get sleepy. I'm sure she has experience with what she can mix, but I'm confident my knowledge is better.
By the end, I felt like I was herding cats. Emma, Angie and Kirk being the cats. Nobody was functioning optimally, but at least I didn’t have the same level of emotional attachment to the stage. My attachment was next to me and I kept the three in front of me. We screamed the loudest when Eli’s part was over.
I leaned close to Emma’s ear to ask what happened next. She led me to the edge closest to stage and pointed. “Everyone will pack up their shit fast as they can and stow it in the corner, then head to the dressing room to cool down, wipe the sweat away, and likely have another joint while Keaton sets up. When the lights go down Eli and all will join us up here. Angie and Kirk will go backstage to meet their husbands."
I raised my eyebrows, "Are we?"
"We can or we can stay up here where it's relatively empty."
I looked around at all the people, "Lots up here."
She scrunched up her nose and shook her head no, "Not on our side. I’d rather stay here. Unless you need a hit."
I shook my head, “I'm good.” I lowered my head and got close "You ok. I don't know how long it’s been or your tolerance. You level?"
Her head bobbed, "I gotta tell you, these nights with just friends and the music. This is when I want cocaine. The boost it gives."
"I bet Keaton has some in his little bag." I snickered. I was sure he did.
"I don't think so. I don't want the crash tomorrow. I'd rather see what we get into." She met my eyes, "You being horny and all.”
She really had no idea what was going on with me right now. Very very bad thoughts that covered everything and I mean everything. I have no idea where I’m going to land. Aggressive, romantic, pleading. Any combination and anywhere in between. "Coke makes me loud and overly friendly. Worst of all it makes me sweat. Look at pics and you can tell when I’m doing coke. So I don't. Rarely. Special occasions."
True to what Emma had said, Kirk and Angie took off as soon as the crowd noise died down a little. They would have had to fight through the sea of people if they left before the music ended. Everyone with Keaton’s group left too. I looked around us and found, um, no one. Talk about feeling exposed. We were in a roped off side of a U. Alone, but the other three sides were crowded. Being high doesn’t generally make me paranoid, but the two of us standing in an open pasture was making my Spidey senses tingle. I pushed her back closer to the wall, using my body to block her. If anyone was paying attention to us all they’d see was my back. I was banking on being far enough in the shadows. I was pretty sure this good idea wouldn’t seem so good tomorrow when I was sober, but right now it was brilliant.
Emma sat her hands on my hips. I could barely feel them. I like that. I like the way her touch can be this barely there pressure. My body seems to register it differently. The light touch makes more nerves fire. There’s more of a psychological part. It’s intimate. Her hands on me are the only part of us touching. I can’t touch her. I want to, but I can’t. I’m not in control.
While everyone who saw her in this dress knew her every curve, my knowledge was more detailed. I risked giving myself a taste and bent to kiss her bare shoulder. “What’s Keaton’s band like?”
Her thumb moved on my side. “They’re more eclectic. They’ve been together a long time and their sound has evolved. They opened for some big names on big tours and made the jump to headliner. Things fell apart while they were doing their next CD. The concessions the record company wanted were too much. Keaton wouldn’t give up the control. They decided they’d rather stay doing their music their way. They tour a lot and have a very devoted fan base. There’s a mix of rock and indie stuff. Keaton’s lyrics are amazing and he is crazy passionate. He writes him. It’s all personal. And a big chunk is Mia.”
I nodded, still trying to ignore her thumb. “I like him. Before the show . . . there’s something about him.”
“He’s a good guy.”
Jealousy flared. Not real, the fake bullshit kind.
Emma laughed, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I laughed too. No idea what about.
“That pretend jealous look on your face. Don’t make me prove why you’re a good guy. It’ll start with words and end up my hand in your pants.”
“Ooof.” I looked behind us, just to check that there were people around. Dammit. I laid my forehead against hers. “You realize this is the first time we’ve been alone since we got here and you went shopping. We haven’t been alone since we left your place almost twelve hours ago.” That sounded much more desperate when said out loud than it had in my head.
She giggled at me. I deserved it. “I wouldn’t say we’re alone, Bastian.”
“More or less. I need to talk to you about something important.” I tried my best to keep a straight face. Unclear if I succeeded. “Your dress.”
Emma pressed her shoulders into the wall, pushing her hips forward. “Is this not the one you wanted me to wear?”
“It most certainly is the one I wanted you to wear.” I didn’t move, my hips keeping her from stretching out more. “It’s better than imagined. But I have problems.”
“I can tell.”
I bet she could with her hips pressed into mine. “You look amazing. Every time I look at you I can’t help but think about all the things no one but me can see.” Her eyebrow lifted and her head tilted a little.
"Even when you're not smiling, I can see the dimple in your left cheek." Almost instantly she smiled. I kissed her dimple. "Right there.” I looked down at her breasts, “The black hides them, but I can see your nipples perfectly." I touched her side under her ribs. "Three freckles here and one under the curve of your ass. From the pool picture I know your twin doesn't have one, so I'll always be able to tell you apart. Don't get me started about what you hide between your legs." I traced the collar of fabric at her neck. "This is what I knew would drive me crazy all night, because this is the only place I could get away with kissing. I love kissing your neck as much as you do. How easy is it to get off?"
"Two buttons with elastic loops."
Sounded like more fine motor control than I was likely to have. "Can I rip it?"
Her eyes went wide, "No!" She started laughing and hugged me. Her laughter went on and became contagious, infecting me. Emma pushed my shoulders, looked at my face, and kept on laughing. My seduction was not going as planned. Emma patted my face, "Sebastian, I love you and want you more than anything. But right now, I'm too stoned for that seriousness."
I yelled, "Fuck!" and we started laughing again. "I worked really really hard." I buried my face against her neck, pulling at the collar with my teeth, then running my tongue around the shell of her ear. Emma squirmed away laughing. I glared at her playfully and huffed out a breath, "Horny."
"My poor baby." Emma whispered against my mouth, "Don't worry. You'll get laid tonight." She kissed me before sucking on my bottom lip.
I said, "Yay." Best as I could with her attached to my lip. I wonder if it’s too soon to leave? It is. I know it is. I don’t really want to leave. I’m having too much fun.
We stayed pressed against the wall laughing and kissing until Eli was beside us, his arms went around both of us. "Are you having sex?" He looked down between our bodies.
I blew a raspberry, "No ", and pulled my hips back to prove it. We most definitely were not connected.
"Because it looks like you're having sex against the wall."
The three of us started laughing. I looked at Eli with a smug expression, "This is your show. Do you really think I would fuck your best friend into the wall at your show?"
Emma punched the hell out of my arm.
"Ouch, Why did you... oh shit." I'd said the four letter word that begins with W.
Luckily Eli was looking at me, his eyes narrowed. "Yes. I think you would if you were pretty sure you wouldn't get caught."
My face went blank, "You're not wrong."
Mia came zipping by and grabbed Emma's arm, "Come with me." Angie was with her and the three women moved to the railing.
Eli and I watched them go then turned to each other with a shrug. We'd been deserted. I hugged him, "I like you, Eli. You're right about a lot of things." I kept my arm around him. “You were right about the wall thing tonight. You were right about her parents being asses."
Eli put his hand on my shoulder and his face was serious, "My friend, I would not lie about her parents. They do not have Emma's best interests. We... you, me, and Ed. Don't trust them." He poked me in my chest. "Protect her."
I put my hand over his mouth, "No more words. Last time we were drunk together we got in trouble."
Eli laughed, "No shit. You went and told her everything."
"Was it a test?" That had crossed my mind many times. Had Eli told me to keep a secret from Emma to see if I would?
"You're giving me too much credit. I was drunk and talking out of my ass." He held up a finger, "Had it been a test, you would have passed."
We've entered the "I love you, man." part of the night. "You're a good friend, Eli."
He inclined his head, "And you're a good boyfriend, Seb."
The house lights went down and the music started. Watching Emma, Mia, and Angie hang onto each other was what I imagined partners at a concert being like. They'd been on tour together and been through good and bad times together. I felt that connection with other actors on set, but this was different. This was the behind the scenes support system. Not just support to their “famous” partner, but support to each other. I didn't know this, but I wanted it. I wanted Emma on a set or an event with me, there for me but also with friends behind the scenes. This felt like family.
Eli and I pulled a table from the wall and sat. Boone, Travis, and Dan joined us. Kirk went up with the support group. I felt part of the group, not an outsider. They'd taken me in as they'd taken in Emma years ago. I wanted this.
I didn't understand Emma's explanation of the differences between Keaton and Eli’s music. Maybe she wasn't clear and maybe I just didn't understand. A couple of songs in I did. At the party, I'd been blown away by Eli’s voice and expression. He could sing anything. Tonight, had been mostly original music, and while good, it lacked the emotional connection for me. The most honest reason would be the songwriting wasn't consistently as strong. They were good, but lacking that something that made them great.
Keaton was great. He had the confidence, command of the stage, and over the audience that Eli just didn’t have. Music and lyrics were next level too. I don’t know the words to explain. It was the difference between an A and B list actor. There’s something more than just talent that feeds the higher level. Keaton had it. He should be out there in stadiums and the top ten on Spotify. I understand how he didn't want to sell himself to get to the next level. I'm not sure if I'm willing to do that either.
Remembering what Emma said about Keaton writing his life and a lot of Mia, I paid close attention to lyrics. I loved them too. I could see what he was writing, feel it. After the song about her dad telling him stay away, I crept up behind Emma, hugging her from behind and kissing her shoulder to get her attention. I didn’t think Ed would try to chase me off, but the song had resonated because she has a protective dad. When Emma turned her head toward me, I kissed her and made sure she was watching when I mouthed, "I love you." She did the same. We kissed again and I went back to the table.
For the encore, I returned to Emma. I stayed just behind her with a hand on her ass. I'd heard the final song, a strong guitar driven song about sex at the end of the world. Pretty sure I had it on a playlist somewhere. It wasn’t over when Mia grabbed my hand and I grabbed Emma. Mia led us to the backstage area. Not surprisingly she knew exactly when to leave to beat Keaton backstage. Can't say I wasn't happy to avoid going in the opposite direction of the crowd.
Keaton was the first one through the door. He immediately went to Mia for a short and breathless kiss before leading her to the couch. Mia sat at the end, Keaton laid down with his head in her lap, and Mia combed her fingers through his hair. He looked tired, but with her touch, he relaxed. I smiled and nodded in their direction, "What's the story there?"
Kevin had heard, "Aftershow ritual since they were sixteen."
"They've been together since they were sixteen?"
Kevin said, "Yes."
Keaton yelled, "No."
I cut my eyes toward the couch then back to Kevin. He shrugged, heading to the other side of the room. I pulled Emma with me to the couch where I could see the couple.
Keaton opened one eye, "Not really."
"It's a binary choice."
The rest of the room laughed.
Emma moved to the far end of the couch and pushed Keaton's feet off. "I told him you like to tell your story."
Keaton smiled, "I do."
I sat where he pointed and, happily, Emma sat in my lap with her arm around my shoulder, playing in my hair. The rest of the room started talking amongst themselves. They'd heard the story.
"We met in kindergarten. I tried to scare her with a worm."
Mia laughed, "I kick him in the shin and put the worm under a bush."
They traded off telling their story with smiles and laughter.
While they went through school together, they weren’t friends until middle school when Mia tutored his brother in math. Keaton was playing guitar in his room and Mia went to listen. From that night on they were inseparable. They would meet up after cheerleading and guitar practice. His band’s first concert was a New Year’s party in her basement. Keaton taught her to kiss before her first real date and beat the guy up when he was mean to her. Both stuck to the story they weren't a couple even after they chose to lose their virginity together at their prom. They lost touch when Mia went away to college and Keaton stayed in New York to tour and make music. Mia became an architect and was over restoration in her father's firm. They didn't see each other until almost eight years later when Mia's mother died. Keaton helped her pack up her mother's house in the neighborhood in which his parents still lived. After dinner they went to the country club where they spent their summers. Both had been married and divorced. They'd wanted so much more for each other. Neither wanted this new start to end and they exchanged phone numbers. Keaton walked her to the house and what started as a hug lacing many years together turned into a kiss. One they discussed days later and decided to move past.
They kept in touch, talking or texting daily. Keaton had been signed and was touring new music. He had insisted on two nights in Savannah where Mia lived. They stayed with her in the home she’d restored. The boy who haunted her house hadn’t been as accepting of the new people, running the halls, slamming doors, moving things, and turning out lights. After the show, Keaton liked to hang out and meet fans. Mia came over, only to be surprised by her ex-husband and his new wife. Mia had taken Keaton’s hand, hoping he'd follow along. He had and when the ex called her a groupie Keaton explained they’d know each other since elementary school. He took her out on the dance floor, positioning them to make sure he'd see Keaton kissing her like a lover.
They still said they were just friends. When Mia joined them on tour, they’d get drunk after the show and find any reason to make out and make up every reason why it meant nothing. On the last night of a break in Aspen, Mia had emergency surgery. Keaton stayed with her. Something changed in the single room they shared. Mia slept, Keaton played, and when Mia woke Keaton would care for her. Over the years they'd shared many beds, but not like this. This wasn't drunk collapse after a show. This was tender and Mia being safe in his arms with Keaton waking up to her face, laying together talking in a quiet morning.
Keaton went back to tour and wrote a song about falling in love with your best friend. Mia wouldn’t hear it until their ten year high school reunion. When Keaton wasn’t on stage he was with Mia pushing the boundaries of their friendship and testing the waters for more. He held too many scars to make the first step. Mia could. They crossed the friendship line for the last time.
Keaton kissed Mia's engagement and wedding ring, "Six months later we compulsively married after not dating for about twenty years.”
While we'd been talking another joint had made its way around the room. I was feeling giddy. I let out a happy sigh, "That's a fantastic story and a fairytale ending.” I looked at Emma then back to Keaton, “I think I’m in love."
Keaton smiled, "With more than just Emma?"
"Not more than Emma, but I love your story and the soundtrack you wrote for it. You should get a writer to put it down and sell the movie rights. Hard to beat a good, friends to lover’ story. I’ve started writing. I'll write it. You'll help and do the music."
Emma joined in, smiling at Keaton, "You've left out the best bit."
Keaton's knowing smile asked, "What part would that be, Ms. Vedder."
Emma grinned, "The first song Mia ever heard you play. The one that started it all.”
Mia took Emma's hand, "Pearl Jam, Black."
Keaton starting laughing, "I will never forget the first time I met you."
I clapped my hands, rubbing them together in front of Emma, "Alright, let's hear this!"
Emma stood up, "I'm going over there." She pointed somewhere I couldn't see and walked away.
I watched her walk away with a smile on my face before turning my attention back to Keaton. "Where
were we?"
The three of us laughed. Keaton remembered. "We were playing a club in Seattle and Ed came to check us out for the opening gig job. I was so anxious I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sing. I was expecting Eddie fucking Vedder. Larger than life rock god." He put his hand on his chest while he laughed. “Then this dad guy showed up with Emma. I thought I was going to have to call child protection services. He never took his arm from around her and she looked terrified"
"How long had she been in Seattle?" I was assuming they knew at least that part of the story. Since they were kind of there and Ed had trust Keaton with her.
Mia made a face, "Maybe two days.”
Keaton picked back up, "Thank fuck he introduced her as his daughter and I didn't have to report him for child trafficking. She was sixteen, but looked like a homeless thirteen-year-old."
That got me laughing, "I looked like a homeless drug addict when we met."
Mia snorted, "I doubt it, but ok."
I didn't want to talk about me. I waved Keaton on. He smiled, "She was a completely different girl the next summer. Confident. Beautiful." He cringed, "Seventeen."
I winced, "Best not to think about."
He nodded, "That whole tour Ed didn't let her out of his sight."
Mia shoved her husband, "Because of pervs like you looking at his almost eighteen-year-old daughter. It was sweet. Ed was very sweet with her." She got off the couch and headed over to where my Emma was.
Keaton yelled after her, "I was a perv when you fell in love with me.”
Mia spoke over her shoulder, "I have questionable taste in men."
Kevin dropped onto the space Mia had left, "She's right." Keaton shoved him over onto me. "Just because you shove me doesn't make me wrong. Who are you perving on?"
Keaton rolled his eyes, "No one."
I shoved Kevin off me, "We were avoiding perving on my girlfriend"
"Why?" Kevin pointed to her, "Look at her."
"The night we met her," Keaton said in a dead tone.
Kevin hissed in a breath through clenched teeth, "Oh, no. She looked like she'd just gotten out of rehab."
I snickered, "Because she had just gotten out of rehab."
"There is that."
We sat talking and laughing until my face and sides ached, reaching the point where we switched from laughter to leftover quiet snickering. I looked around to find Emma. I felt my eyes crinkle as my head tilted to the side.
The other two said, "What?" simultaneously.
I pursed my lips and held a finger out," Do either of you see panty lines?" I didn’t wait for an answer, "I don't think she has on panties."
"Surely," Keaton began, "this isn't a new experience for you."
"No, but I'm very high and very horny."
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National Enquirer, April 19
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover
Page 2: Michael Douglas' short-term memory loss and frail frame have wife Catherine Zeta-Jones fearing for her older husband's well-being -- Michael once declared he'd beaten oral cancer, but harsh chemotherapy and radiation treatments have left him a shell of his former self and he has even admitted to suffering memory problems -- he was also affected by the 2020 death of his father Kirk Douglas and he hasn't been the same since his dad died -- this is a guy who cheated death with a horrific cancer ordeal, and he's had other medical issues over the years and some serious domestic dramas that have taken their toll -- Catherine always knew that their age difference would mean her taking care of him one day but she didn't expect it to be so soon
Page 3: Reese Witherspoon has ditched her wedding ring during recent outings, sparking rumors her marriage to Jim Toth is on the ropes but she feels their relationship isn't down for the count and refuses to give up the fight to keep their family together but they may not make it -- the desire to make things work is still there on both sides and they've been able to pull it all together all these years, even with personalities as different as theirs mainly for the sake of their family and they got on each other's nerves while cooped up together during the pandemic, but they don't bicker in public and that's one thing they have going for them
Page 4: Ryan Seacrest creeped out his pals when he gushed over Maria Menounos when she sat in for Kelly Ripa on Live recently -- Ryan thinks Maria is the smartest, most talented and beautiful woman to walk the planet and he can't help but swoon over her but Ryan understands Maria is happily married to TV writer and producer Keven Underago and he'd never cross the line and he doesn't want to date Maria, but he makes no secret he'd be dancing on air to have someone like her, which is kind of creepy, but he can't help it -- Ryan would never make moves on someone else's girl, but he does try to imitate her husband Keven's qualities like how funny and creative and sensible he is and Ryan adores Kelly and thinks she's great but he wouldn't mind if she takes more time off just so he can gaze at Maria
* Miley Cyrus' recent boozy night out with party pals, including British punk rocker Yungblud, has loved ones fearing she's slipping back into dangerous territory -- she was spotted at Hollywood's famous Rainbow Bar & Grill, drinking shots and beer chasers, just months after she admitted to her struggles with addiction and after fellow addiction-challenged singer Demi Lovato announced she was California sober, claiming she was safely able to drink in moderation, Miley didn't see any reason why she couldn't do the same -- her family and sober friends are deeply concerned for Miley's well-being and are begging her to stop drinking now
Page 5: Newly robust Celine Dion has her health back on track following a dangerous few years where she looked like a walking skeleton -- she has beefed up her wraith-like frame by making healthier choices during lockdown -- she went through a rough time of transition after husband Rene Angelil's death and lost a lot of weight, but lockdown has given her a chance to rest and focus on taking care of herself and now she looks 15 to 20 pounds heavier and seems in good spirits and is looking forward to rebooting her Courage World Tour when the pandemic ends
Page 6: Fitness fanatic Tim McGraw is a changed man since he kicked the bottle in 2008, but he's now hooked on working out and sculpting the perfect bod and he's publicly admitted exercise is what gets him flying high but his quest to get ripped to the max is now a 24/7 obsession and he spends hours in the gym and he's already flexing a muscular body most men would die for, but he doesn't want to stop until he's an Adonis and he works out twice or three times a day and packs his diet with energy-boosting smoothies and veggie juices and some might say he's going overboard with the workouts, but Tim craves those feel-good endorphins and he considers his workouts to be fun -- he loves the way he looks and thinks he can do better and he does spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring himself and tends to wear tight T-shirts that show off his pecs and six-pack abs, and wife Faith Hill loves the results -- a lot of people say he's traded one addiction for another
Page 7: Nearly six years after their bitter divorce, Miranda Lambert has finally extended an olive branch to ex-husband Blake Shelton, but she's still pretty envious over his professional success with fiancee Gwen Stefani -- last year, Blake and Gwen took home the collaborative video prize at the Country Music Television Awards for their duet Nobody but You, and also scored a Top Ten hit with their single Happy Anywhere and it makes Miranda jealous to see Blake making hay on the charts with Gwen but their success also made Miranda recall Over You, her hit collaboration with Blake, which won Song of the Year at the 2012 Country Music Association Awards and during a recent interview, Miranda affectionately blew kisses toward the camera as she recounted how her ballad with Blake was inspired by his grief over the loss of his older brother; still, Miranda also harbors a competitive streak and said she's angling to transform herself and husband Brendan McLoughlin into entertainment movers and shakers just like Blake and Gwen -- Miranda plans to enroll Brendan in acting school and Miranda wants them to act together and they are looking for scripts to make a television movie and even planning to launch a production company in Nashville and Miranda recognizes the musical chemistry Blake and Gwen share, and she believes she and Brendan can match that success on-screen -- meanwhile, as Blake and Gwen prepare to wed, Miranda is finally in a place where she can wish them well and Miranda carried a lot of animosity toward Blake and Gwen, especially since she suspected they started something before she and Blake split up, but she's very happy with Brendan so maybe all that pain she and Blake went through in ending their marriage was for the best
* Reba McEntire is reaching out to save her friend and former daughter-in-law Kelly Clarkson from suffering through a divorce that eerily mirrors Reba's own breakup -- Kelly split from husband and manager Brandon Blackstock in June 2020, and the divorce battle has them fighting over custody of their two kids as well as Brandon suing her for $1.4 million in unpaid commissions, but Reba has seen this before: Brandon's dad, Narvel Blackstock, dumped her in 2015 after 26 years of marriage, and despite initially agreeing to continue as her manager, dumped her as a client weeks later and Reba knows all too well how petty and conniving Narvel and Brandon can be, and her heart goes out to Kelly -- Kelly admits to Reba there are times when she just wants to run away and hide and Reba tells her to run away to me and it means the world to Kelly to have Reba in her corner -- Narvel and son Brandon head Starstruck Entertainment and are adamant that Kelly owes them big bucks for helping her land both her talk show and a coaching spot on The Voice, but with Reba's help, Kelly is fighting back and Reba learned the hard way the pitfalls of mixing business with family life and she's trying to help Kelly because she hates to see another woman suffer at the hands of a Blackstock
Page 8: Sicko Jeffrey Epstein has been accused of a horrific new litany of abuse by a woman who claims he forced her into unwanted genital surgery, raped her in front of her child and threatened to feed her to alligators -- the woman, identified in court papers as Jane Doe, is suing the late pervert's estate, claiming he and his alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell, groomed her for their sordid pleasure -- in the suit, she claims Epstein drove her to pick up her 8-year-old son and took them to a lake, where he threatened to feed her to alligators, as had happened to other girls in the past, if she dared to squeal on him -- at the time, the woman said she was 26, but she looked much younger and Epstein told her to say she was 17 and he also arranged for a man with a Russian accent to perform an unnecessary vaginal surgery to pass her off as a virgin to a client and this violent and illegal procedure was botched, leaving her mutilated, in pain, disabled, and permanently sexually dysfunctional
Page 9: Ghislaine Maxwell has been slapped with yet another sex trafficking charge and it's got her former pal Prince Andrew sweating bullets -- the new indictment details how Jeffrey Epstein's alleged madam reportedly groomed a 14-year-old for him, but crucially for Andrew, it expands the time frame of Ghislaine's alleged crimes from 1994 to 2004, a span that includes her meeting the British royal in 1999 and then introducing him to Epstein and that time frame also includes the period in which "sex slave" Virginia Roberts Giuffre claims she slept with Andrew three times, charges he's denied -- the new charge also opens the floodgates on other celebrities, politicians and high-profile figures who were in Epstein's orbit at the time and the new indictment widens the pool for Ghislaine and her defense attorneys because who wouldn't want to bring down all of these fat cats and who wouldn't be that desperate?
Page 10: Hot Shots -- Rumer Willis got to the root of her gardening needs in L.A., Michael B. Jordan and Chante Adams got cozy as they shared a snack while shooting Journal for Jordan in NYC's Central Park, Heidi Klum in L.A., Mario Lopez tossed the ceremonial first dice roll at the opening of the Mohegan Sun Casino in Las Vegas, Christopher Meloni shot his onscreen spouse's funeral scene for Law & Order: Organized Crime
Page 11: Tony Bennett has a secret weapon in his fight against Alzheimer's disease: his close pal and collaborator Lady Gaga -- Susan Crow Benedetto, 54, the wife of the 94-year-old singing legend, has enlisted Gaga to help keep Tony's faculties sharp as he struggles with advancing dementia because Gaga's telephone calls have always helped cheer Tony up and keep him focused and they laugh together, reminisce and sometimes sing and it always puts a smile on Tony's face and it's great therapy -- when asked whether Tony still recognizes the pop star, Susan joked that Gaga is hard to forget -- Gaga has also played a critical role in keeping the aging crooner active and creative by working with him and they plan to release their second album of duets this spring as a follow-up to their 2014 smash hit Cheek to Cheek
* Worried friends feared ailing rock god Ozzy Osbourne is coming unstrung while wife Sharon Osbourne's career goes into a death spiral -- Ozzy has been plagued by crippling illnesses over the years, including Parkinson's disease, and has to walk with the aid of a cane and now he's at wit's end and pushing himself into a danger zone as his wife fights tooth and nail after leaving The Talk amid a racism scandal and Ozzy's been under a great deal of distress over Sharon's problems over at The Talk and he worries and fusses over her and can't focus on anything else and it's left many in his circle very concerned for his health which is fragile enough already -- the bashing Sharon received during the scandal has the aging rocker concerned she may never work again and he'll have to be the breadwinner
Page 12: Straight Shuter -- five years after Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, she's still battling Brad Pitt over custody of their five youngest kids, now she's filed new court documents claiming she has proof of domestic violence against Brad and accusations like these would kill anyone else's career, but not in this case: Hollywood is 100 percent behind Brad and the sense in the industry is Angelina has weaponized the kids against Brad but Brad is very well respected in Hollywood, and most people find these new allegations hard to believe and if anything, Angie is only hurting the children and herself
* Real Housewives stars featured in the upcoming spinoff are cashing in and Bravo will pay Luann de Lesseps, Teresa Giudice and the others a sweet $200,000 for one week's work in Turks and Caicos and that's more than double what the ladies usually get for filming, plus they get a free trip to a tropical island
* American Idol could be on the chopping block because in just seven weeks the show has lost 2 million viewers and it's simple math: Idol cannot survive with its current budget and ABC has two options which are cancel the show or cut costs, which would mean hiring cheaper judges and a cheaper host to replace Ryan Seacrest and both options are being explored
* Britney Spears' beau, personal trainer Sam Asghari, shows off his toned abs in L.A. (picture)
Page 13: Palace insiders fear Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's vendetta against the British monarchy will take a shocking new turn: they'll bankroll a lurid movie about Princess Diana's death and the conspiracy theories that suggest the royal family was involved -- the rights to the movie script are owned by Hollywood producer Ben Browning, who was just hired by Harry and Meghan to run their film company Archewell Productions -- the controversial movie centers on Princess Diana's lover Dodi Fayed's father, former Harrods' boss Mohamed Al-Fayed, investigating his son's death and his belief that Dodi and Diana were murdered because she was pregnant and planning to marry, and The Firm did not want a Muslim in the royal family
Page 14: Crime
Page 15: Alabama Shakes drummer Steve Johnson has been busted on charges of willful torture and abuse of a child and was also charged with cruelly beating or otherwise maltreating a child under the age of 18 -- his arrest came just a year after he was slapped with a one-year suspended sentence and two years' probation after pleading guilty to menacing his ex-wife Whitney Lee, who called him mentally unstable -- Johnson helped the Shakes score three Grammys in 2016 for their album Sound & Color but the band has been on hiatus since singer Brittany Howard started a solo career in 2018 and Steve was lost after that; he went from playing in front of 50,000 people to playing in bars again -- even if the Shakes reunite, it's highly unlikely Steve would be invited back -- Steve remains in county jail awaiting his court date and his attorneys said Mr. Johnson maintains his innocence
* Danny Masterson and his lawyers believe they are victims of anti-Scientology bias and cannot get a fair trial in his Los Angeles rape case -- celebrity attorney Tom Mesereau, who successfully defended Michael Jackson against child molestation charges two decades ago, claimed his client has been treated unfairly because of his ties to the church, and that the police or district attorney's office leaked damaging details of the case -- Danny and his lawyers feel persecuted and that everybody in Hollywood who isn't a Scientologist is after them -- LAPD Robbery and Homicide Division Capt. Jonathan Tippet said his organization is keeping a tight lid on all information surrounding the case to ensure Masterson gets a fair trial
Page 16: Mormon church officials are being accused of corporate greed for using members' charitable donations to secretly create a $100 billion tax-free fund -- James Huntsman, the son of a prominent Mormon family, is suing the church for fraud, claiming donations solicited to finance charity work were actually used to fill church coffers -- the church boasts at least 15 million members worldwide, including celebrities like Gladys Knight, Donny and Marie Osmond, Katherine Heigl, Julianne Hough, Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling, Amy Adams and Aaron Eckhart and many could have tithed money that ended up in the tax-free fund
Page 17: Jen Shah of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was recently fingered by the feds as the bogus businesswoman behind a multi-state fraud scheme dating back to 2012 -- the Bravo blowhard, known for her extravagant parties, designer outfits and extensive entourage, and her first assistant Stuart Smith were arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering -- the U.S. Justice Department alleged the Park City resident and Smith of Lehi generated and sold lead lists of innocent individuals for other members of their scheme to repeatedly scam, and claimed the greedy creeps defrauded hundreds of victims -- the terrible twosome targeted older adults and computer illiterate folks by using both telemarketing and in-person sales teams to peddle nonexistent online services and then fight the refund efforts of wronged consumers -- if convicted, Shah and Smith each face up to 50 years behind bars
Page 18: American Life
Page 20: L.A. County Sheriff Alex Villanueva triggered a cover-up scandal when he revealed his investigators determined why Tiger Woods drove off a California cliff, then refused to explain what happened, citing the golf legend's privacy -- Villanueva said the black box in the Genesis SUV that Tiger was driving when he flew off a suburban L.A. highway in the early morning helped determine the cause
* Hollywood Hookups -- Bethenny Frankel and Paul Bernon engaged, Melissa and Joe Gorga appear to have reached the finale of their marriage, Fernanda Flores and professional boxes Noel Mikaelian dating
Page 21: Britney Spears said she broke into tears after seeing bits of the new documentary about how she has been in the grips of a conservatorship for years, saying she was embarrassed by the light they put her in and she cried for two weeks and still cries sometimes
* Generous Hollywood legend Dick Van Dyke put a happy face on job seekers in Malibu when he handed out fistfuls of cash -- Dick was spotted withdrawing bills from a bank before driving to the Malibu Community Labor Exchange, a nonprofit that helps unemployed locals find day jobs and he stayed in his car as he handed out money to masked folks who were lined up to look for work
Page 22: The late Aretha Franklin left behind a royal mess of paperwork, including a newly discovered fourth will that has thrown her $80 million estate into fresh turmoil -- the eight-page document, titled The Will of Aretha Franklin, was apparently drawn up not long before her death in 2018, and was recently found among the files of the singer's onetime attorney Henry Grix along with the paperwork describing the terms of a trust but both items are stamped draft and neither has Aretha's signature but Michigan law changed seven years ago, and it made the admissibility of a document like this more flexible -- currently there's a bitter beef among Aretha's four adult sons over how their mother's assets should be divided
Page 23: The battle over Prince's $300 million fortune rages on, and the late pop star's siblings, and legal heirs, fear there won't be anything left after lawyers, accountants, administrators and the IRS take their cut -- five years after he died from a fatal fentanyl overdose without leaving a will, an avalanche of deals and court hearings have left his massive cash stash in limbo -- sadly Prince's distrust of lawyers and other professionals now means that millions will be spent paying those same people to try to sort out the mess he left behind and this could go on for a decade
Page 26: Weird Body Language -- stars cope with bizarre deformities -- Denzel Washington, Steven Tyler, Ashton Kutcher, Matthew Perry
Page 27: Lily Allen, Mark Wahlberg, Karolina Kurkova, Scar Service -- Tina Fey, Padma Lakshmi, Joaquin Phoenix
Page 32: Health Watch
* Ask the Vet -- Watch out for xylitol
Page 34: Just months after John Travolta's beloved wife, Kelly Preston, passed, the actor has been shattered by another death in the family -- his nephew Sam Travolta's badly decomposed body was found in his Wisconsin apartment last September, weeks after he died from a suspected heart attack -- John has suffered through so much loss and Sam's death was another huge blow but he's strong and has a deep faith in Scientology and the church brings him solace and comfort
Page 36: Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran has stepped up to get a tenant in one of her buildings back on his feet -- Barbara and building co-owner Alex Rodriguez came under fire after Ryo Nagaoka's possessions were reportedly tossed while he was hospitalized with COVID-19 and when Ryo got home he found only his piano and pet tortoise in his cleaned-out crib -- emptying Ryo's apartment was necessary because it had become a health hazard and had a biocleaning crew scrub it -- Barbara donated $12,000 to a GoFundMe page for him, while A-Rod has seemingly not yet contributed anything and Barbara also said the building's management company has renovated Ryo's apartment
Page 38: Beloved game show host Peter Marshall made a miraculous recovery from COVID-19 to celebrate with friends at his 95th birthday party -- Peter was in and out of the hospital for ten weeks and he was at death's door and doctors didn't give him much of a chance but Peter beat the odds to enjoy a Zoom party attended online by Leslie Uggams, Loni Anderson, Sandy Duncan, Ruta Lee, Karen Valentine, Rich Little, JoAnne Worley, Jack Jones and more
* Accused sex freak Armie Hammer's career is in the crapper and he's beginning to believe that's where it will stay -- the kink king was fired from the thriller Billion Dollar Spy amid sexual assault allegations and the release of social media messages claiming he has dark fetishes including cannibalism -- Armie has already gotten to boot from the movie Shotgun Wedding and the series The Offer, and more trouble may be on the horizon: Armie was accused of sexual assault by a woman called Effie, who alleged the actor violently raped her and Armie's attorneys issued a statement denying the claims, saying Effie's own correspondence with Mr. Hammer undermines and refutes her outrageous allegations -- Armie has been keeping a low profile at a Caribbean resort, but fears his entire career is in trouble
Page 42: Red Carpet -- Carrie Underwood
#tabloid#grain of salt#tabloid toc#tabloidtoc#michael douglas#catherine zeta jones#catherine zeta-jones#armie hammer#reese witherspoon#jim toth#ryan seacrest#maria menounos#keven undergaro#miley cyrus#celine dion#tim mcgraw#miranda lambert#brendan mcloughlin#blake shelton#gwen stefani#reba mcentire#kelly clarkson#narvel blackstock#jeffrey epstein#ghislaine maxwell#tony bennett#lady gaga#ozzy osbourne#sharon osbourne#prince harry
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Ares and Athena through the years - Ch. 14
Chapter Fourteen: Odyssey, Pt. 02
(A/N: The second part of the Odyssey! The next one will be the last one, but also the longest, because I’m barely half-way through this damn book! Also a warning for people getting eaten by cyclops and sea monsters)
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Odysseus continued: “Now that you know this, you're probably wondering how I got into this situation. So I will tell you also of my many troubles, that in the end have brought me here.
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It all started at the sacking of Troy and the surrounding area.
I insisted, that we should leave immediately after winning the war.
But Agamemnon, master of bad decisions, and a majority of his army, refused, continuing the sacking, partying and getting drunk and making sacrifices that couldn't appease the angered gods anymore. A retaliatory force coming to the aid of the surviving Trojans overwhelmed us and killed many of the Achaeans, who had survived the war. In addition Zeus' wrath came upon us and a large part of the fleet was wrecked in a storm. My ships and men survived, albeit damaged, but we were brought off course and sent adrift on the sea, all the while mourning those of our men, who had fallen against the Kykones.
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After a few days we drifted to the island of the Lotophages¹.
They were friendly and meant well, but the Lotos they shared with us was apparently a hallucinogen, because it clouded the senses of my men to the point where I forcefully had to drag them back to the ships, despite their tears and protests.
You will see, that this stop was the least problematic on my journey.
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The next island we came to was that of the Kyklopes², audacious, lawless men, who rely on the Deathless Ones so much, that they don't sow fruits or corn, nor drive out to fish, as they don't know rows or ships. Their fruits grow without care, by the blessing of Zeus. We found insane lots of goats living on the island. As we set out to look the place, we found a cave and in a fit of stupidity decided to explore it.
We were still there, when its owner came back, a nasty Kyklops named Polyphemos.
He heeded not the laws of hospitality – perhaps he didn't even know them – spoke blasphemy against Zeus and … and he grabbed two of my men, flung them around like dolls … and ate them. Gods, it was horrifying! Then he went to sleep. In the morning that monster devoured two more of my men, drove his sheep outside and pushed a boulder in front of the entrance, locking us inside. I really wanted to kill him in his sleep, but I couldn't do that without trapping us all inside the cave, so we had to bide our time. During that time we looked for something to aid us in our escape and found a huge bludgeon. I cut a piece off with my sword and ordered the others to sharpen it into a rod. By the time the Kyklops was back, it was ready and so was my escape plan. After he had devoured two more of my men, I managed to get him drunk on the wine we had brought along. He asked me what my name was and I told him it was 'Nobody'. He declared, that he would eat me last and went to sleep.
We took the big pale we had made, heated it over the fire and used it to gouge his eye out.
The Kyklops awoke, roared in pain and fury, that the cave shook and we all ran, trying to get out of his reach. He pulled the pale out of his eye, scrambled around and kept on screaming.
From outside we could hear his fellow Kyklopes gather around his cave to see what was wrong. We could hear them ask him, why he was screaming like that. When he told them that 'Nobody' had blinded him and wanted to kill him, we heard them scoff in response and tell him to pray to his father, mighty Poseidon. My heart laughed, because my idea had fooled them so well.
Polyphemos kept feeling around and finally moved the boulder from the entrance of the cave. He felt the backs of his sheep to prevent anyone from escaping among them. Little did he know, that we were clinging to the bellies of the sheep – and beautiful, well-fed and well-cared sheep they were – and that was how we got away. We quickly drove the sheep to the ships to those of the crew, who had stayed there and made haste to get away from the island.
But I had a moment of hubris – I still don't know what I was thinking – and provoked the Kyklops with taunting words, that he threw a boulder at us, narrowly missing our ship. My companions told me to shut my mouth already (and I really should have) but I didn't listen and made the mistake of giving my real name. In his rage, he prayed to his father Poseidon, that I should never reach my home, or if I should, that I would get there very lately and all alone.
Thus he prayed and Kyanokhaitis³ heard him.
But we, now finally out of that danger, mourned those who had died, while thanking the gods for ourselves staying alive.
We shared the sheep we had taken among us and made sacrifices to Zeus, which went unheard.
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We kept on sailing, until we landed on the island of Aiolos.
He received us kindly and asking us about everything. I told him whatever he wanted to know and after a month finally asked him to allow us to leave.
He did so and also gave me a leather bag, into which he locked the winds, safe for the west wind, so that we might get home quickly.
And we did have good wind, it was wonderful. It wasn't long, until Ithaka was in sight!
But unfortunately, my crew had to be idiots and put it into their heads, that the leather bag had treasures in it. They uncorked it, the winds escaped in a furious storm and we were blown back to Aiolos' island. But this time he sent us away, saying that we had to be cursed by the gods and he didn't want to have cursed people in his home.
I returned to the ships empty-handed and crestfallen.
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The next land we came to was that of the Laistrygones.
As we went out for enquiries, we found a girl, who pointed us to the house of her parents. We quickly found out, that they were man-eating giants, as the king quickly seized one of my men, killed and cooked him.
The rest of us quickly fled back to the ships and made haste to get away as quickly as possible.
But alas, only my own ship managed to escape, the others and their crew were lost.
We kept on rowing, mourning the loss of so many more of our comrades.
.
For days we meandered across the sea, until we got to the isle of Aiaia. There lives Kirke, daughter of Helios and the Okeanide Perse and sister of king Aietes of Kolkhis. She is a goddess and a sorceress of great power.
That I found out, when I sent a few of my comrades to scout the surroundings and only one of them came back, completely out of his wits. He told me, that the others had been invited inside her home and not returned. Only he had refused to come inside her house and therefore had escaped that fate.
This prompted me to go out and see for myself what was going on.
On my way, I was met by Hermes, the golden-staffed, who told me what exactly had happened: that my comrades had been turned into pigs and that I wouldn't stand a chance saving them without his help. He gave me a herb that would make me immune against Kirke's sorcery and told me what I should do. I was to eat that herb, before she would give me her enchanted meal, then, as soon as she would hit me with her switch, pull my sword and attack her, as if I wanted to kill her. Then I was to make her swear a Stygian Oath not to harm me and go to bed with her, then she would restore my comrades back to humanity.
So I did, so it happened and we spent over a year at her home, before one of my comrades reminded me of home.
I asked Kirke to let us go and she agreed, but advised me to travel to Hades first and consult the spirit of the blind seer Teiresias, as he was the only one, who knew how I could get home.
The prospect of going to Hades alive frightened me, but she gave me detailed instructions on how to get there and what to do upon arrival.
.
We sailed to the far west, to the stream of Okeanos and beyond.
There we found a grove of white poplars, the tree of terrible Persephone.
There we entered the underworld and sacrificed the two black sheep we had brought along.
It attracted many of the feeble spirits, who wanted to strengthen themselves by drinking some of the blood, but I pulled my sword and refused to let anyone drink, before Teiresias had arrived.
Oh how many familiar faces I saw, and how surprised I was to see them!
I found one of my comrades, whom we had left behind in Kirke's home. He told me, that he had fallen out of a window and broken his neck and begged, that he should be buried properly and with his oar. I promised him to do so.
And there I saw Antikleia, my dear mother, who had been alive, when I had sailed for Troy. How shocked I was to see her here!
But even her I couldn't let near, before I had consulted Teiresias.
He came and strengthened himself on the sheep blood, before revealing, why I was cursed and what I should do to return home. I had invoked the wrath of Ennosigaios⁴ by blinding his son Polyphemos, but even so my remaining men and I would come home, under one condition: he predicted, that we would land at the isle of Thrinakia, where the sun Helios lets his cows graze. Only if we kept our hands off the cows and didn't harm them, we would get home. If we hurt them, my crew would die and I would return only after many years more – alone, on a stranger's ship. And once there I would find many suitors at my home, vying for my wife and consuming my property. I would slay them all for their impertinence and then I was to seek a land afterwards would live the rest of my days more or less peacefully, until death would come for me from the sea.
Having learned this, I allowed some of the other spirits to drink from the blood.
The first to drink was my mother. I wept bitterly, when I heard how she had passed away. She told me … excuse me, please – ahem – she had died of heartbreak during my absence, that she had withered away yearning for me. She also told me, that my Penelope was still waiting for me, that my father was sorely missing me and wasting away (just like herself) and that my son was ruling over my estate. I sought to hug my dear mother, but it's the lot of the dead to be incorporeal ghosts. She bid me farewell and retreated back into the darkness.
Then came more souls of the dead, some of them lovers of gods and mothers of famed heroes.
I even encountered Alkmene, the mother of Herakles, and Leda, the mother of Helene – both beloved by Zeus during their lifetime.
I met so many, but if I recounted them all, we would be sitting here all night and it's really time to go to sleep.”
.
Silence filled the room, as everyone else gazed at Odysseus in wonder.
Eventually queen Arete broke the silence: “Look at what a splendid guest we have here! We shouldn't send him off too quickly, not without appropriate guest presents. The gods have given us great wealth and it's only fair, that we should share it with this man, who is in need of our gifts indeed.”
The assembled nobles nodded in agreement and looked at their king, waiting for what he had to say.
The king turned to Odysseus and asked him to stay for a day longer, as much as he probably desired to go home. Alkinoos was delighted, when the war veteran agreed.
“But first”, he said, “my curiosity needs to be satisfied. Please do tell us, if you saw any of your comrades who met their fates in front of the walls of Troy. It would really delight us all. I wouldn't mind staying up all night just to hear that!”
Odysseus was obviously tired, but humoured them and went on: “As you wish, then. Yes, I did see them all – them and those of my old comrades, who survived the war, but met their fates at home. First I saw dark Persephone herself – she came to lead the gentle women's souls away, then allowed me to see my old friends and acquaintances.
Imagine my surprise, when the first to appear was Agamemnon of Mykene, who had been alive last time I had seen him. He was wailing and weeping over being dead and it was so heart-wrenching, that I began to cry as well. When I asked him, what fate had befallen him, he told me about how his wife Klytaimnestra and her lover Aigisthos had perfidiously murdered him, right after his return home. They had slaughtered unfortunate Kassandra too (the princess of Troy, I remember her – she was a lot like me). He then proceeded to go on a rant about the falsehood of women, only to remind me, that I had chosen a good and loyal wife in Penelope (as if I didn't already know). Then he bewailed, that he hadn't even got to see his son again, before he had died and wished me, that I would see my dear child grow into a fine young man. He also asked me, if his son Orestes was alright, but I didn't know.
He retreated into the shadows and the next to come were Akhilleus and Patroklos (always together even in death), Antilokhos and Ajax the son of Telamon.
Akhilleus recognised me and sadly asked me, why I had come to the underworld. I told him and congratulated him on now being the ruler of the shades. He moaned and responded, that he would rather have been a peon, serving another and living in poverty, than be the superior of mindless shades. He also inquired after his father and son. I told him what I knew about them and he returned to the Asphodel Fields, proud that his son had gained glory.
Other souls stood sadly and asked what I could say about their loved ones.
Only Ajax stood aside; he held a grudge and didn't want to talk to me. I must admit that I regret winning the competition against him for the armour of great Akhilleus – it brought him to the grave and that just wasn't worth it.
I also saw king Minos of Crete, who now judges the dead.
I saw the giant hunter Orion, still chasing wild game even in death.
There was Tityos, who had assaulted black-robed Leto and as punishment was chained to the ground, while two vultures were feeding off his liver.
And there I saw Tantalos, perpetually starving and thirsty, trying in vain to reach the fruits above him and the water below, always retreating, when he reached or stooped for either.
Then there was Sisyphos, the trickster, rolling his boulder up a mountain, only for it to roll down, when he was almost there, so that he would have to start again.
I even encountered the shadow of famed Herakles. But he himself isn't there – he sits with the Immortals as a god and is wed to Hebe, the giver of youth.
The shadow gave me his sympathy and recalled how once he had been sent here during life, to get terrible Kerberos from Hades, for his last service to Eurystheus.
And I would have seen many more, but the dead now came in such large numbers, that I was seized by terror. When venerated Persephone motioned for me to leave, I was more than happy to comply.
So I grabbed my terrified companions and we returned to the surface and onto the stream of Okeanos.
.
We returned to Kirke's island and buried Elpenor, as I had promised him.
The sorceress let us rest for a day, gave us provisions and warned us about several dangers ahead on our journey.
Among other things, she warned me about the Seirênes and their entrancing voices. She advised me to stuff the ears of my crew with wax, as soon as we came near their island. If I wanted to hear them, I was to let my crew tie me to the pylon. I would be entranced by their singing and beg my crew to untie me, but with the wax in their ears, they wouldn't hear me and just row past their island.
But danger wouldn't end there, because next we would come to the narrow strait of Messina. The strait is flanked by two cliffs.
Halfway up the bigger one there is a a cave, where hideous Skylla has her home. Kirke described her as a bellowing monster with twelve dangling feet, six long necks and nasty heads on each, with a triple row of sharp teeth. Normally she fishes in the waters below with her long-necked heads, but when a ship came past, she'd eat a man with each of her heads.
On the smaller cliff opposite her cave stands a giant fig tree. Beneath it is a giant whirlpool, the monstrous Kharybdis. Thrice a day she would swallow water and throw it back up thrice.
There was no way past either of them without losing men.
After that we would come to Thrinakia, the island where Helios kept his cattle. She gave me the same advice Teiresias had given me before: not to touch them or all of my men would die and my return home would be delayed.
With her warnings on my mind, we set sail in the morning.
I told everything to my crew and they stuffed their ears with wax and tied me to the pole, as soon as the isle of the Seirênes came into sight.
I could see, that they looked just the way Kirke had describe them: they had the upper bodies of fair Nymphai and the wings and lower bodies of birds and were sitting on a green field, each on her own pile of bones and rotting corpses of men, who had been spellbound by their singing.
The men started to row as fast as they could.
As soon as the Seirênes spotted our ship, they began to sing to me.
Their heavenly singing ensnared my senses, as they called to me and promised me all the knowledge I had ever desired and dreamed of. I wanted to hear more and begged my men to untie me, but they leaned further into their oars and sailed faster. Two stood up and bound me tighter to the pylon.
It was only when their voices couldn't be heard anymore, that I stopped struggling against the ropes. Only then did my comrades take the wax out of their ears and untie me.
We just about had time to catch our breaths, before our ship was pulled into a strong and loud current. My crew was seized by fear and they let go of their rows. I had to give them a rousing speech to get them back to rowing the ship.
I instructed the helmsman to steer the ship away from the whirlpool towards the bigger cliff (I hadn't told my men anything about Skylla, because it would have frightened them even more). As we drove past Kharybdis, it sucked in water and we could see its insides, a truly horrific sight: from the walls of water came sharp rocks like teeth and at the bottom of the whirl the earth, darkened by the wet sand. That was terrifying enough, but it all got worse when we passed the cave of Skylla, her monstrous heads dashed down and grabbed six of my comrades. They thrashed in Skylla's six maws, calling my name, screaming for help, before they got devoured … it was … it was the most woebegone thing I had ever seen in my entire life. And that means a lot coming from me. We hastily sailed past, while her mouths were full.
After getting past those monstrosities with heavy losses, we finally got to the island of Helios.
We could see golden cows and sheep grazing on green fields.
Remembering what Teiresias and Kirke had told me, I warned my crew against landing here and told them, that we would land at the next island we'd find. But their collective protest forced me to give in and we landed on Thrinakia.
Predictably enough, Zeus sent a perpetual storm, which kept us there for over a month. At some point the provisions Kirke had given us began to run out.
We had to resort to hunting our food, birds, berries, roots, small game and so on.
One day I slipped away to make some sacrifices and pray to the gods for deliverance. What I got instead was a deep slumber.
While I was asleep, one of my comrades (my brother-in-law, sadly enough⁵) got the – urgh! – 'bright' idea, that it would be perfectly fine to kill one of the sacred golden cows, sacrifice it to the god and eat it. I woke up and returned to the ship, only to smell and behold beef being roasted over fire. Of course I was angry, frustrated and completely devastated, but it was too late now.
Meanwhile, one of the maidens living on the island reported the robbery to her father Helios.
Later, Kalypso, who had heard everything from other sea deities, told me what exactly had happened: wroth at my comrades' offence, the Sun had complained to Zeus and demanded reparation, or he would sink into the stream of Okeanos and never rise again. Zeus had pacified him and promised him retribution.
In the meantime the gods sent us bad omens: the cow skins crawled around, the flesh on the skewers screamed and it sounded much like the pained mooing of living cows. It was really nauseating to me, but apparently my comrades didn't notice anything. They merrily ate the beef for six days.
On the seventh, the storm sent by Zeus suddenly stopped.
We quickly went aboard and set sail. But as soon as we were on the open sea and there was no land in sight, the skies darkened and the King of the Gods unleashed another hurricane, worse than the last. It was already ripping the vessel apart, when Zeus struck our ship with a lightning bolt. It killed all that had been left of my crew and wrecked the ship completely.
I survived just barely, by clinging to the pylon. The storm ceased after a while, but bad winds carried me across the sea all night long – right back to Skylla and Kharybdis. Latter was swallowing the sea water, but I just about managed to grab the branches of the fig tree above. All I could do was hold on, until the monstrous whirlpool finally spat the water and with it the pylon back out. I let go, clung to the wooden pole and paddled out of there as fast as I could.
For nine days I was adrift on the sea, until I was marooned on the island of the goddess Kalypso, who treated me well and nursed me back to my full health and wits.
You know the rest, king; I told you and your esteemed queen yesterday. I would rather not tell again.”
.
Silence settled over the crowd once more.
This time it was Alkinoos, who broke it by deciding, that Odysseus, in addition to all the other guest presents he had already received, should also have kettles and tripods. His decision found collective approval.
Next day, the gifts from the Phaiakoi were carried to a ship, more festivities were held and Odysseus did his best to rein in his anxiety.
The morning after that, the ship was finally ready to leave the harbour.
With gladdened soul, the long-suffering hero bade his kind hosts farewell and wished them the best, a wish that was requited by the Phaiakoi. The proper sacrifices to the gods were made, the crew and he himself went aboard and after everyone was in place, they set sail.
He stood on the rail to wave at the crowd standing on the dock. Meanwhile a few of the rowers spread out blankets and cloths for him to sleep on.
With a thank you, he lay down and fell into a deep slumber.
All day and all night the ship practically flew across the sea and arrived at Ithaka early in the morning. They steered the ship to a remote place they knew, carried Odysseus (who was still sleeping like a log) down onto the strand with his newly given treasures, in this remote place where no one would see all of this and rob all the goods.
Then they sailed back home.
.
On Olympos, Poseidon was throwing a hissy fit.
“This will not stand!”, he roared, “If the mortals don't honour me anymore, does that mean that the gods don't do it either? I thought I decreed, that Odysseus would only come home after much suffering, as you decreed that eventually he should return! But the Phaiakoi – descendants of mine, no less – escorted him to Ithaka on a fast ship, with greater treasures than he ever could have won at Troy! This will not stand!”
“Now, now”, Zeus sought to pacify him, “No one disrespects you here. After all, you're the oldest here-”
“Fourth oldest!”, Aphrodite corrected sharply. “Of us Olympians, I, Demeter and Hera are the oldest here!”
“Whatever”, Zeus went on, “Dear brother, if a mortal disrespects you, you can still get revenge later. If you feel, that the Phaiakoi disrespected you by bringing him home at last, punish them to your heart's content.”
“I will!”, Poseidon huffed, “And also-”
“Uhhh, uncle?”
The gods turned to Dionysos in surprise.
The god of wine and madness sighed: “Uncle, don't you think it's time to just … stop? Being charitable towards an honoured guest is no disrespect to us gods. And Odysseus has already gone through so much shit. You got what you wanted. I have looked into his mind; he will be scarred for life, will always have nightmares at night. He has suffered too much by now, that it more than makes up for his crime. Let it go.”
Athena beamed at her half-brother and would have hugged him, but she had a reputation to uphold.
“You heard him”, she triumphed, “I couldn't have said it better. With all due respect, uncle, you need to calm down. The Phaiakoi shouldn't suffer, because of your petty grudge (besides, Polyphemos more than deserved what he got). Under any other circumstances, you – and we all – would have rewarded their helpfulness and hospitality. Should this be an exception?”
Poseidon grumbled, but assented and promised not to take it out on the innocent Phaiakoi.
That pacified Athena; Poseidon was a god of his word.
Still, it went against the fate that the Moirai had decided and so Zeus Moiragetês⁶ had a long talk with them. For once, the Moirai were generous enough to turn a blind eye to this subversion of fate.
And that's how a mean prophecy didn't come true.⁷
.
In Ithaka, Odysseus finally awoke from his slumber. But as he looked around, he didn't recognise his own home; the gods had summoned a thick mist to conceal the surroundings in its silver grey veil.
At first he was totally lost and despaired over it, praying that someone would send him a sign to let him know, where he was.
Athena heard his prayer and emerged from the mist in the guise of a young shepherd.
The battle-hardened veteran spotted him and inquired, where he was.
She laughed and informed him, that he was on widely known Ithaka, where else could they be?
She could tell, that he was relieved beyond comprehension.
But with healthy suspicion, he told her a fib, that he was from Crete, had fled after murdering a prince, then got into a storm and had been dumped here by the crew of the ship he had sailed with.
Athena laughed in amusement: “And this is why you're one of my favourite heroes. Your cunning is exceptional and you and I have that in common.”
He gawked at her and fell onto his knees.
She smiled and continued: “I have come to assist you. For you're not out of danger. Teiresias surely has warned you, that you would come home to find strangers inside your home, wooing your unwilling wife. You and I must plan now how to vanquish them.”
Odysseus looked up and replied: “Hardly a man could ever recognise you, oh goddess. For you disguise yourself as one of us mortals, when you walk among us and shroud yourself in illusions.”
Athena concealed, that one hero had seen her and other gods for what they were: Diomedes, Odysseus' former friend, whom she might have favoured just a little more. Even if these times of peace, she had never taken away his enhanced sight.
“Let's not talk about that”, she went on instead, “First we need to hide all those treasures. Then I will cast an illusion on you. We both know that it's better, if no one recognises you just yet.
And I know, that you're suspicious. You don't want to truly return, until you have reassured yourself about your wife's loyalty, no matter how much I insist, that she has never been unfaithful to you. She passes the days weeping for you, missing you sorely and stalling all the suitors that pressure her to marry one of them. Her loyalty is the last thing you have to worry about – it's her hope slipping away and the loyalty of her and your servants.
I will be honest with you: I always knew, that you would return home alone and in secret, after much suffering, but I couldn't go against Poseidon, who is my father's brother. He begrudges you still, because you blinded his son Polyphemos (even though that shitfaced Kyklops really had it coming). But it was my father's will, that you would come home eventually.
Listen: right now, you are in the harbour of Phorkys⁸, the Old Man of the Sea. Over there is a cave, dedicated to him and the local Naiades, who you always honoured with sacrifices. And there is the tree-clad Mount Neriton.”
With that she dispersed the fog, revealing the familiar environment.
With a happy cry he sank to the earth, kissed the ground and made a sweet prayer to greet the Naiades he had honoured, while had had been home.
After that, the mortal and the goddess carried the riches into the cave to hide them.
Then they began to plot the imminent doom of the intruding suitors, who were vying for Penelope.
“Thank you for warning me”, Odysseus told her, “Had I come in unprepared, I would have ended up like Agamemnon, slaughtered in my own home, except that it wouldn't be by my dear wife. Please help me, as I plan how to get my kingdom and property back and vanquish the intruders. Stay by my side, as I reclaim what's mine. With your wise counsel and assistance, I would take on hundreds of men without fear.”
Athena smiled. “Gladly will I be by your side through it all, my mortal friend.”
.
A risky thing for any deity, to call a mortal “friend”.
But Athena was a lonelier goddess than most people thought.
She had surprisingly few friends. And with Ares gone, she didn't even have a rival to regularly spar with (she didn't even know where he was; he had left right after the Trojan War had ended for good, was now the-Fates-knew-where and only occasionally wrote to his family).
Her mortal favourites were as close to being friends as her status allowed.
And she chose them carefully, because she hated when the favour of a god went to a mortal's head. Her favourites had to be sensible enough to not take her goodwill for granted.
.
Odysseus smiled back: “There are no words to express my gratitude, Oxyderkês⁹.”
.
---
.
1) Lotophages: Lotos-Eaters.
2) These Kyklopes are the children of Poseidon and the sea nymph Thoôsa (probably a goddess of swift currents), a daughter of Phorkys and Keto and sister to the Gorgones (among others). They are not to be confused with the Elder Kyklopes, who are the sons of Ouranos and Gaia, or with their children, the Younger Kyklopes, who worked for Hephaistos, before Apollon slew them.
3) Kyanokhaitis: "The (dark) Blue-Haired", an epithet of Poseidon.
4) Ennosigaios: "Shaker of the Earth", an epithet of Poseidon in his function as god of earthquakes.
5) Eurylokhos of Same was married to Odysseus' sister Ktimene. Throughout the Odyssey, he's shown to be a cowardly ass, who constantly goes against Odysseus' orders and undermines his authority.
6) Moiragetês: "Leader/Guide of the Fates", an epithet of Zeus in his function as god of fate. It's also en epithet of Apollon in his function as god of prophecy and oracles.
7) In the actual Odyssey, the prophecy is that the vessel carrying Odysseus home would be turned into stone, shortly before reaching the home harbour. In the original version Poseidon actually does get revenge and turns the ship into stone. It terrifies the Phaiakoi into resolving to never escort sea travellers again. Afterwards, Poseidon creates a mountain ridge to encompass their city and make sure they never escort strangers again.
I don't like that version at all, so I took the liberty to alter it and let the innocent people get away. After all, their only "crime" was being friendly and helping a man, who was acting in self-defense, when he blinded a man-eating Kyklops.
8) Phorkys is an old sea god, son of Pontos and Gaia and brother of Nereus (the god of sea bounty and father of the Nereides), Thaumas (god of the wonders of the sea), the whale-shaped sea monster Keto and (perhaps) the whirlpool-shaped sea monster Kharybdis. He represents the dangers of the sea.
Together with Keto, he is the father of the most dangerous and monstrous sea deities, the Graiai & the Gorgones (those you know from the myth of Perseus), Thoôsa (the mother of Polyphemos by Poseidon), Skylla and Ekhidna and according to some sources of Ladon, the Drakon that guards the Garden of the Hesperides.
9) Oxyderkês: "Sharp-Sighted", an epithet of Athena.
#Greek Mythology#odyssey#athena#poseidon#zeus#hermes#dionysos#Persephone#aiolos#kalypso#kirke#skylla#kharybdis#polyphemus#odysseus#alkinoos#arete#tw: violence#tw: gore#tw: people get eaten#tw: mentioned murder#tw: monsters
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West Wing Quote Challenge
I think I have watched The West Wing about 4 times. It has become one of my favorite shows. It has some of the best quotes. And I really wanted to do a challenge while I was watching. But I had the Disney Quote Challenge and didn’t feel that was right. So here is my West Wing Quote Challenge.
Here are the Rules:
1. You can only use the characters I have listed. No Peter Parker (except in the case of Superfamily). No Bucky Barnes or Sebastian Stan. I am not in any way, shape or form attracted to Sebastian Stan. So I won’t read it.
2. Send in an ASK with your character choice and quote. You can double up but no more than two people per prompt and they have to be different characters. Once a prompt is full I will cross it out.
3. If your story is more than 500 words please use a read more. I will not reblog any story that does not have a read more.
4. The preference is reader insert. You can do OFC just let me know.
5. No angst unless it has a happy ending. No cheating fics either.
6. When you post please tag me and use the tag #west wing quote challenge.
7. THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE!!! HAVE FUN!!!! Cause that is what writing is all about.
8. Due Date. I dont have one yet.
Characters
Steve Rogers
Tony Stark
Stony x Reader
Stony
Stucky x Reader
Rafael Barba
Jim Kirk
Leonard McCoy
McKirk x Reader
McKirk
Robb Stark
Aaron Hotchner
Eomer
Chris Evans
Quotes
1. I want this back in the cardboard box it came in. I don't want to see you or talk to you 'til that's done. 'No way' is not an acceptable answer. 'I tried' is no longer an option. You started this thing, and you're gonna damn well going to finish it with either a blue ribbon or a great big deafening silence.
2. "Never Doubt That A Small Group Of Thoughtful Committed Citizens Can Change The World."
3. "I Have Wit, I Have Charm, I Have Brains, I Have Legs That Go All The Way Down To The Floor, My Friend."
4. About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.
5. "Decisions are made by those who show up."
6. One last thing: While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
7. My father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him, now I’m giving it to you.
8. Watch this.
9. Person A: If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for beer.
Person B: If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights
10. Person A: What are you holding?
Person B: [Name] said you liked goldfish.
Person A: The crackers. The cheese things you eat at parties.
11. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.
12. How tall are you? I can’t believe we are the same species.
13. I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
14. Person A: When you flirt with me, are you doing it to get something ? Person B: No.
Person A: Why are you doing it?
Person B: I'm doing it to flirt with you.
15. Why is there hugging?
16. "So, if I'm gonna jump off the cliff, and you're gonna get pushed off the cliff, why don't we hold hands on the way down?"
17. There is no such thing as too smart. There is nothing you can do that is not going to make me proud of you"
18. "You don't have the power to fix everything... But I do like watching you try."
19. "Your wife's beautiful, too. How'd you get her to marry you? Did you trick her or something?"
20. "Happiness is my default position."
21. The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day."
22. "Can I assume from your total silence and blank faces that you're all with me?"
23. "No, I did not. Let me be perfectly clear I did not do that. Except...yes, I did that."
24. "I don't know what kind of salad it is, I'm eating a salad, okay? I'm doing it, do I have to know the names? There's no difference between them, it's a bowl of weeds! Some of them have cheese, this isn't the kind with cheese, does that answer your question? "
25. "Nature, like a woman, will seduce you with its sights and its scents and its touch, and then it breaks your ankle, also like a woman.
26. Can I have a couple of aspirin or a weapon of some kind to kill people with?"
27. Person A: "I'm just going to change my shirt."
Person B: "You look bad. You're tired. You slept in the office. It's Friday. Go home."
Person A: "Why?"
Person B: "Because I think you're putting too much faith in the magical powers of a new shirt."
28. There’s literally no one in the world I don’t hate right now.
29. You're a smart savvy woman who could easily consider world domination for a next career move.
30. There’s no one in this room who wouldn’t rather die than let you down.
31. We should organize a staff field trip to Shenandoah what do you think.
32. I didn’t realize babies came with hats.
33. I’m sorry to be rude but are you a moron.
34. So it’s ok to have sex in a hotel but not my apartment.
35. I want us to talk because I like the sound of your voice.
36. With that, I’m going to get a cupcake.
37. I embrace the cold. I luxuriate in the cold. I fight the cold with more cold.
38. You really think we have a secret handshake, dont you?
39. I’m telling your mother, you forgot where she lives.
40. Everytime you talk, I hear that sound that plays when pac man dies.
41. Person A: If they find out you’ve been there I’m going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass.
Person B: Technically, I outrank you.
Person A: So far up your ass.
42. I need some pie.
43. You know I could beat you up anytime I want to sir.
44. Well, you go girl.
45. My problem is I want to jump him when he says things like that.
46. Ignore him. The rest of us do.
47. Just once in this job I would like to end the day feeling as good as the day started.
48. Pumpkin patch, is there anything I can do to get you to go to the movies for eight hours?
49. “My getting killed would be bad enough, but that is not the nightmare scenario. The nightmare scenario, sweetheart, is you getting kidnapped.
50. You are a very powerful and handsome man.
tags; @auduna-druitt @captain-rogers-beard @pinkamour1588 @captainsbabysitter-blog @tilltheendwilliwrite @pegasusdragontiger @prettyyoungtragedy @4theluvofall @promarvelfangirl @outside-the-government @nomadicpixel @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @after-avenging-hours @starshiphufflebadger @medicatemedrmccoy @imoutofmyvulcanmind @onedarksea @whiskey-cokenfanfic @all1e23 @girl-next-door-writes @barnesrogersvstheworld @beccaanne814 @haveyouseenmymind @imamotherfuckingstar-lord @invisibleanonymousmonsters @janeykath318 @kaunis-sielu @wickedsingularity @meganlpie @redlipstickandplaid @madpanda75 @theycallmebecca
#the west wing quote challenge#steve rogers#jim kirk#leonard mccoy#tony stark#eomer#west wing#rafael barba
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So I’m rewatching Into the Light
Nobody asked for my live thoughts, but I’m giving them to you anyway. Enjoy!!
•Flashback to 17x01: Gibbs knocks the gun out Ziva’s hand and she immediately pulls another one on him
•I shouldn’t find that funny, but I still do. It’s so Ziva.
•”I was awake yesterday” is still a MOOD
•“We try to avoid shooting people...” poor local LEOs had no idea what was coming lol
•”Special Guest Star Cote de Pablo”
•I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL
•”Please tell me we didn’t just lie to the director again...”
•Poor Nick. This family will literally do anything for each other.
•Betcha anything Gibbs taught Ziva to swing the bat like that.
•Bishop and Ziva coming face to face. I have so many feelings...
•”My life is a series of bad times” lol it’s not funny except it kind of is
•“To be honest, I’m not really sure what I need right now.” Ziva that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said.
•Ziva’s little smile when she finds out Gibbs didn’t know Bishop was coming
•I am HERE for this big sister/little sister dynamic
•The two political people McGre talked to? I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to represent Biden and AOC. Just a thought but there’s a lot of resemblance there.
•“She thanked me for rescuing Morgan Burke
•wahhhhh
•The flashback to shooting Ari...poor bby
•Ducky and Ziva...cue the Ross Gellar “I’m fine” gif
•“I was not alone”
•When this first aired I really thought she was about to say something about Tony but then...
•The ice cream day story. And picture. And everything really. 😭
•“Does Tony know?” “It’s complicated.”
•“I left him [Gibbs] a trail, Ducky. One that only he could see.”
•“And he didn’t come looking.”
•I CRY
•“Am I right, girlfriend?” Lolololol Jack
•Jimmy’s need to see Ziva. I love it so much
•“What the heck am I supposed to say to Tony when he calls me for our monthly Fortnite session?”
•idk Palmer but knowing you it’s going to be awkward and hilarious and I would LOVE IT for us if we could see and/or hear that!!
•McGee and Ziva! My heart is not ready!!
•Also I 100% knew that was a drop when she walked in to meet McGee before they revealed it
•“Saved me from having to beg”
•Poor McGee just wants to see his little sister!!
•“Can I have that hug now?”
•Ziva’s face 😊
•“I hear you’re a father now”
•It’s fine, I’m fine
•“I don’t have all the answers, McGee”
•“So come with me, to NCIS, and we can answer them together”
•HE JUST WANTS IT TO BE LIKE OLD TIMES
•“Whatever you think of us, we still think of you as family.”
•Cause, you know, FAMILY FIRST GUYS
•“Ziva, come home. Come home.”
•YEAH DO IT DO IT DO IT ZIVA
•and her face again 😥
•ASFFDAVAGk SHE’S HOME
•I asked for this but I was not ready!!
•Her eyes are locked on Tony’s desk
•just like his were locked on hers when she “died”
•and she’s got this little smile on her face
•THE TIVA THEME
•BLESS YOU BRIAN KIRK
•AND THE FLASHBACK THAT PARALLELS TONY FINDING OUT SHE “DIED”
•I AM NOT FINE. AT ALL.
•I AM A SOBBING MESS
•Nick and Ziva sizing each other up lol
•Bishop is so amused
•Nick has no idea what to do here hahaha
•Ziva totally sees what’s going on with those two.
•You can tell she’s thinking about something as they walk away
•Or someONE. Ahem.
•Tony, she’s definitely thinking about Tony.
•And wondering if the two of them were ever that obvious
•They were. Stupid, married idiots.
•She’s probably remembering all of the looks and banter and everything that took place between them in this room over the years
•Moving on now...
•I hate to break it to you Nick but Ziva absolutely would beat you in a fight
•“Possibly in a chair” lol Kasie
•“If you deny it I’m just going to say it louder”
•CALL HIM OUT JACK
•Gibbs sigh of relief when McGee and Bishop walk in lol
•“Oh, no, please Boss don’t do that”
•Poor McGee and his technology
•Oooh little sister is not happy with big sister
•Nicholas and Eleanor
•WHAT A MOM
•“Just, please, make it look real.”
•This whole conversation is GOLD
•“Don’t be a wuss, tell her how you feel!” And her smirk 😏
•“Your friend played your ass” Gibbs was so happy here lol
•“I miss doing this with you, Ziva”
•I MISS SEEING YOU TWO DO THIS TOGETHER
•The looks...Ziva knows Gibbs knows
•“I miss things sometimes. So I hear.”
•This is PAINFUL
•I GOT IT IN PARAGUAY
•SHE WENT TO PARAGUAY
•AND TOOK OUT AN ENTIRE FREAKING TERRORIST CELL FOR HER FAMILY
•after surviving a Somalia terror camp she VOLUNTARILY went to another terror camp, knowing Tony wouldn’t be around to save her if needed this time, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO FOR FAMILY
•ASDFFGSKAN I feel like we need to make a bigger deal about this!!
•“You couldn’t even hope I was still alive”
•I’m sobbing again
•“May I have a lifeline?”
•Hahaha oh Duck-Man
•Bishop is all about defending big sister. Love it.
•You can tell on Ziva’s face that she’s up to something when she’s transferring the assets lol
•These poor LEOs hahaha. What a 24 hours for them
•McGee’s “Ziva” and the smile on his face 🥺
•I’m crying again
•“I don’t kiss and show”
-“Tell”
-I MISS THEM SO MUCH
•“How’d you know?”
•“I didn’t. Hoped.”
•ASDFGFGSJAGA
•We’re just missing one member of the three musketeers here.
•Here’s hoping these next two episodes give us that!!
•Ziva apologized - twice - and no mention of the rules. Love that.
•“I get it in my head that you’re alive, and I’m out there looking, and it turns out you’re not...I would’ve uh...I would of...” *is speechless*
•Has Gibbs ever been this speechless before because of feelings?
•I don’t think so
•Here come the tears again
•“I would have lost you a thousand times if that’s what it took”
•THE ACTING HERE. MARK AND COTE FOR PRESIDENT. GIVE THEM ALL THE AWARDS
•Ugh but what do you have to do alone Ziva??
•Gibbs wiping Ziva’s tears away. Ziva’s nose boop. So pure. So Mark and Cote 😭😍
•DINOZZO
•“He should hear it from you”
•“And he will”
•ASSFSFAVgavHavJa I CANNOT
•How will he hear it?? Will we get to see it? I JUST WANT THEM TO REUNITE ALREADY DANG IT!!
•Is it time for the next 2 episodes yet??
#anyway there are all of my thoughts#what a rollercoaster#this might be one of my favorite episodes#it was just missing tony#he was so present though#even without being physically there#you just really cant have one without the other#tiva#tony dinozzo#ziva david#ncis#season 17#17x02#into the light#leroy jethro gibbs#timothy mcgee#eleanor bishop#nick torres#jack sloane#kasie hines#donald mallard#ducky#jimmy palmer
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I Ain’t Missing You
Word Count: 3k+
WARNINGS: Swear words, angst, (don’t worry it has a happy ending), gay
Fandom: My Babysitter’s a Vampire
____________
Like any other Friday night, Benny Weir was in his room, hidden under an absurd amount of blankets, eating pizza, and rewatching all his favorite Disney Channel Original movies. He was about halfway through 'Princess Protection Program' when there was a knock on his door.
“Come in,” he called as he paused the movie. His grandmother walked in, carrying a pair of pants that were much too short for him.
“Mind telling me how these got left here.” She raised her eyebrow. Benny’s cheeks flushed and he let out a nervous chuckle.
I knew I forgot something. Dammit, Benny, he thought to himself.
“Oh yeah. I accidentally shrunk my pants trying to make them, tight, like tight in the sense that they were cooler and-”
“Benny.”
“Okay, they’re someone else’s.”
“Benjamin Donald Weir.”
“Okay they’re another dude’s, just please stop giving me that look.”
His grandmother made her way to the bed, folding the pants in her lap as she sat. Benny braced himself for the worst. He expected disgust, disappointment, maybe some yelling. What he didn’t expect was his grandmother looking into his eyes with nothing but love on her face.
“Benny, dear, there’s nothing wrong with liking boys. In fact, your grandmother has brought some girls over to the other side if you know what I mean.”
“First of all, ew I do not want to hear this information about my grandma. Second of all I don’t like boys it’s just experimenting I guess.”
He was thoroughly uncomfortable with his grandmother calling him gay. He wasn't gay. He couldn’t be gay. His dad would hate him forever. Besides, he'd liked plenty of girls before, Sally, Beth, Dela, Erica. And this boy was just a fling, teenage hormones acting up, he’d grow out of it eventually.
“Alright, but let me know when you get some sense knocked into you.” Grandma Weir walked out of the room and Benny continued his movie. Although the conversation left him feeling uneasy, there was nothing like the wholesome friendship between Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato to ease his suffering.
____________
Rory pounded on Erica’s door.
“Come on, let me in.”
Erica made her way to her kitchen.
“I swear if it’s those kids ding-dong-ditching again I’m about to have an early lunch,” Erica said loud enough to be heard on the other side. She opened the door, relieved to see it was Rory. She checked to see if anyone was with him, seeing no one she allowed him inside.
“What’s up, Rory?” she asked, letting her cocky demeanor down for the time being. She could only do this with Rory. And she would never admit to anyone else that she did. For now, though, she softened at the sight of her clearly troubled friend. She gestured for him to come inside and went to the kitchen to get them both something to drink. Soon enough they were both sitting on her couch and holding mugs of hot chocolate (Just because they’re vampires doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy what they once did).
“Alright, spill the tea,” Erica said as soon as they got comfortable.
“Okay, so there’s this guy.”
“There’s a guy,” she butt in “Is he cute?”
“Totally babelicious. And I really like him, and I want things to go further but I don’t know how to mention it.”
It was obvious that Rory was worried, and Erica was not one to let a friend be hurt. His rant was cut short when Erica grabbed his shoulder, probably rather harshly.
“Just tell him. Say it like it is, and if he doesn’t like you back, well, your girl’s always hungry.” She winked, flashing her fangs.
____________
A few days later Benny approached Ethan in the hallway, oddly perky.
“Hey B, what’s got you so happy?”
“Smokin’ hot babe. I met her at a bar. She doesn’t go here.”
“Benny, the only time you’ve ever drunk was with me, and you threw up after one drink. Also, when would you have met her? I’m with you literally all the time.”
Benny furrowed his eyebrows.
“Not all the time...okay fine she does go here but you don’t know her. She’s in one of my other classes. Her name’s….Rochelle” Ethan gave him a skeptical look but Benny ignored it. The bell rang and he proceeded to go to class. Ethan actually had a free period and made his way to the lounge.
“Hey, Ethan!”
Ethan jumped, “Rory, don’t do that!”
“Sorry buddy, I’m feelin’ hella fine today. Last night I had sex with this smokin' hot babe.” he grinned, showing his teeth.
He was suddenly taller than Ethan and he had to pull Rory back down to the ground. Ethan didn’t usually hang out with Rory during his free period, but he was curious, so he invited him to sit.
“So, who is this smokin’ hot babe?”
“Oh, it’s Be--rick…”
“Berek?”
Rory chuckled nervously. “You know? Like Derek, but with a B. Isn’t it awesome? It’s German I think.”
“So how long have you been seeing...Berek?”
“Two whole weeks.”
“Oh, so that’s where you’ve been, and these past few weeks Benny’s always doing magic stuff with his grandma.”
The conversation died off and they each continued to do their own activities This was difficult for Ethan because Rory could not stop humming. Ethan looked over and caught a glimpse of what he was writing.
‘We’ve been seeing each other for like ever.’
‘We’ve been seeing each other for a while now and I love you.’
‘We’ve been seeing each other for a while now and I have developed strong feelings for you. I feel like we’re Kirk and Spock.’
‘We’ve been seeing each other for a while now and I have developed strong feelings for you. I feel like we’re meant to be together. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I know–”
It was hard to read because Rory had ended up scribbling his pencil through the whole letter. He didn’t want to pry but at the same time, Ethan was dying to know who this kid was. He’d never seen Rory like this he was acting so… what was that word from Bambi again? Twitterpated or something. Either way, Rory was in deep and Ethan was really hoping it would work out for him. Though he could tend to be overbearing, he was still his friend and he didn’t want to see his heart broken.
The bell rang and Ethan was plunged out of his thoughts. He walked through the halls thinking about what he had seen. Benny slammed his hand onto Ethan’s locker.
“Guess who scored a 100 on their calculus test.”
“Dude, nice you’ve been studying for like a week.”
“I know.”
The bell rang and they made their way to class.
Wait….Benny and Rory got laid on the same night….what a coincidence.
____________
That night Rory made his way to Benny’s house to...try out his new video game. At least that’s what they were to tell anyone if they asked. In reality, they would never get to the video games, clothes ending up strewn on the floor before they had even opened the case. Rory often tried to slow things down, make sure nobody got hurt, but Benny was the opposite. He needed Rory, he needed to feel him, to hold him, to be underneath of him. When Rory was on top of him, Benny was putty in his hands. He was lustful and rough, immediately pushing himself onto the blonde in a completely animalistic passion.
The sex was sweet but the aftercare was sweeter. Rory had Benny on his chest, hands carding through the tangled locks of his hair. They were both sweaty, but it didn’t really matter, neither cared. Benny hummed in contentment; he’d never admit it, but he felt safe in Rory’s arms.
He’s always so warm, and strong, and sweet and- wait. No. What am I thinking? He’s a plaything. A toy. An experiment….A mistake.
Rory looked down at Benny and was surprised to see his face had changed. He was pouting. Rory’s heart skipped a beat. Though he hated to see Benny sad, he couldn’t deny he had the cutest little pout.
I’m gonna marry this man, I think.
Hoping it would snap him out of whatever seemed to be bumming Benny out, Rory pulled him into his lap and started rubbing circles on the palms of his hands. This conflicted Benny even further. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the conversation they were about to have.
“Hey, Love?” Benny cringed at the word. It gave him a weird feeling in his chest; he didn’t know what it was, and he didn’t like it.
“Do you ever think about taking this a step further?” Rory questioned.
“You mean like bondage?”
“Not quite, but we’ll put that on a shelf for later. I mean like us. You and me?”
Benny turned his head, he looked up at Rory with big eyes and a soft™ expression. He furrowed his eyebrows. It took him a while to finally form words.
“Rory, do you think this is a relationship? This is just sex. There are no feelings, no emotions. Just sex Rory.”
Rory immediately tensed.
Things were going so good. What happened? What did I do wrong?
“I...have to go eat.”
He shoved Benny off of him, trying to get out of the suddenly suffocating room as fast as possible. The quick change of environment was a shock to them both. So much so, that Benny couldn’t stop his hand from trailing after Rory as he left.
“Will you be back?” Benny was confused. Why was he feeling so empty?
It’s kind of cold in here. He tried to lay down and rest. Has my bed always been this big?
Meanwhile, Rory walked aimlessly throughout Whitechapel sidewalks. He spotted a tall figure, curly hair. He was hungry.
It took Benny a while to sleep. He kept hearing noises and getting up to invite Rory in, only for it to be a squirrel. He was used to Rory’s warm body to cuddle with. He was used to Rory taking him in his arms and humming him lullabies until he fell asleep.
Eventually, Rory found himself back at Benny’s, underneath the windowsill. He was hoping if he stood there long enough Benny might run out of the house and into his arms and say he changed his mind, say he was lying. He never did. So, Rory went home, completely ignoring his worried mother’s questions. He changed, kissed her cheek, and left for school.
Benny spent the entire morning looking for Rory between classes. Rory spent the entire morning avoiding Benny between classes. If Rory saw Benny, he would immediately turn around. Both of them zoned out entirely during class all day. Benny finally caught him in the hallway. Before Rory had a chance to run, he grabbed his arm.
“Dude, what’s up.” Benny was confused, Rory had been ignoring him all day.
The bell rang, to Rory’s relief.
“I have to go.” he jerked out of Benny’s grip. Benny took the hint.
It’s just Rory what’s wrong with me? It’s just dumb Rory. It’s just my dumb friend Rory who I happen to sleep with, or used to sleep with. Ugh… This is so emo.
____________
Benny lay under the covers that evening. He stared at the ceiling, hoping his fan would lull him to sleep. Something felt off; like he was missing something. He couldn’t tell what though. Whatever it was, it was bumming him out. He didn’t eat supper that night. He refused to watch the news with his father when he got off work. He didn’t even offer to play Knights of Ninjutsu 4 with Ethan. That was a bad sign. He only passed out due to exhaustion around two in the morning.
____________
Benny lay under the covers Tuesday. He hadn’t eaten again. He went straight home to his room. That sinking feeling still lay in his stomach. It hurt, and he felt like he’d never get rid of it. He tossed and turned and tossed and turned. The harder he tried to sleep the more awake he felt.
What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just stop? Nothing’s wrong. The only difference is I didn’t see Rory today. It’s not like I see him every day anyway.
The hours passed slowly. Each second seemed like a minute. Each minute like its own hour.
12:00
1:29
2:34
3:07
4:23
5:58
____________
Benny never made it under the covers Wednesday night. He finally realized what was wrong. He felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. It was Rory. He missed him. He missed their late night talks. He missed Rory’s dumb jokes. He missed Rory ranting about something that the council had said. He missed Rory. But Rory probably hated him now. He had ruined what they had because he was afraid. He was afraid of his dad, who had always preached about traditional marriage. He was afraid of his peers, who already thought he was lame. He was afraid of himself, of hurting Rory and ruining it all. He had been afraid and he lost Rory. He didn’t sleep Wednesday. His eyes stared down the clock until his alarm went off. He went to school in yesterday’s clothes, not caring enough to change, or brush his hair, or do anything really.
____________
Benny lay underneath his window Thursday night. He cradled one of Rory’s plaids. Benny found it when his dad had forced him to clean his room. He had left it there on Sunday.
It still smells like him. Benny put his arms through the sleeves and for the first time this week, the little sleep he got wasn’t plagued with nightmares.
Despite the fact he was able to sleep peacefully, he woke up in even worse condition than when he went to bed. He was still wearing the shirt. It was just another example of how much he missed Rory and how badly he fucked things up. He didn’t bother changing again. It’s not like Rory would see him in it. He probably smelled something awful. He showed up to school on time at least.
____________
Rory wasn’t doing much better than Benny. He usually stuck mostly to stray animals when hunting, but all week he had been draining human after human. He tried to tell himself it was just a coincidence that all his victims wore striped polos and fluffy hair and were ridiculously tall, at least in Rory’s perspective.
It’s just a growth spurt. Vampire’s get growth spurts right? That’s why I’m eating so much. Right?
He told himself stuff like this all week but once he started to feel sick from overeating, he knew he had to face the real reason he was upset. Benny. He missed him. He hated it but if he was going to get any closure he would have to talk to him. He couldn’t just continue dodging him in the halls. That’s why on Friday morning he decided he would deliberately seek Benny out.
He mentally ran through what he would say in his head. He was expecting awkwardness and maybe a little resentment but he was hoping eventually they could be friends again. What he wasn’t expecting was to see Benny walking down the halls in one of his plaid shirts.
“Hey, uh, Benny.” The brunette jumped at the sight of him. Somehow he hadn’t noticed Rory walk up to him from across the hallway.
“Rory, you’re talking to me?” Benny asked, his tone almost hopeful. Rory was about to respond when suddenly the bell rung. He was about to tell Benny he would talk to him later but before he could he was pulled into a nearby empty classroom.
“What the hell dude we’re gonna be late,” Rory said sharply.
“I just…” Benny whispered
“You just what?”
There was a slight pause, then Benny slid the plaid shirt off of himself and held it out to Rory.
“I was gonna give you your shirt back.” Rory looked down at this piece of clothing. It was wrinkled and clearly hadn’t been washed since he left it. He didn’t even care enough to wash it. Did he even notice it was mine when he put it on this morning? Rory thought bitterly. With renewed anger, he grabbed the plaid but was surprised when he felt a slight tug.
“Benny?” That’s weird why isn’t he letting it go? With one more try Rory was able to get it, but he still wondered why it took him a second attempt. No, he didn’t do it on purpose. He didn’t have a random realization that he’s in love with you at some point during this agonizing week.
At least that’s what Rory thought until he felt Benny’s hand lightly grab onto his arm. It was nowhere near strong enough to actually hold him but it still got him to stop and turn around. When he saw what was behind him he couldn’t stop himself from gasping.
Benny was silently sobbing. Tears rolled down his face. One look into the other boy’s eyes and Rory finally saw that Benny wasn’t okay either. He didn’t know what happened, he didn’t know what Benny was really feeling, he didn’t even know if there was hope for them, but in spite of it all Rory still loved him and he couldn’t bear to see him in this state. So despite his anger, he put his arms around the other boy and didn’t stumble when he absolutely collapsed into him.
When Benny had finally calmed down a little, Rory pulled away to look him in the eyes.
“How about I come over tonight? We can have an honest talk,” Rory suggested. Benny was still sniffling too hard and clearly tired from crying so he simply nodded. He gave him one last quick hug before finally going to class. Mr. G was not happy with him. He let him off easy because he could see that Benny had been crying.
___________
For the first time since their fight, Rory made his way up Benny’s front porch and rang the doorbell with anticipation. Benny opened the door and happily invited Rory inside. They both walked into the living room where Benny had one cup of root beer and one cup of blood sitting on the table.
“Okay, Benny before we get back into-” Rory was cut off by Benny’s mouth on his. If Rory thought he was fast and needy before that was nothing compared to him now. Rory was half afraid Benny would actually eat his lip. As much as he enjoyed it Rory pulled Benny off of him.
“I said we’d talk, you can’t just avoid it by sucking my face,” Rory said as he sat back on the couch.
“It was worth a shot,” Benny replied, defeated, and plopped down on the couch next to him,
“I need you to be completely honest with me. Whatever your answer is I won’t get mad I just need to know the truth. Do you have any feelings for me… Any at all?” Rory asked, praying he got the answer he’d been wanting to hear since they first started their little fling. Benny took a long pause before speaking up.
“...Yes,” Benny said quietly. He didn’t look at Rory.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just… I was scared, of my own feelings and of my dad, you know how he is, and I do have feelings for you. I love you Rory and I fucked up,” Benny exclaimed, talking so fast it was a wonder he didn’t run out of breath.
Rory was taken aback. Love? He really loves me?
Benny and Rory both had tears streaming down their cheeks at this point. Rory pulled Benny into the crook of his neck, his tears staining Rory’s shirt.
“I’m sorry, Rory. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” He repeated himself until Rory hushed him.
“Hey, no. I’m sorry too. I left. And Benny, I… I love you too, like… a lot, like mega a lot.”
“That’s a lot.” Benny sniffled and looked up at Rory. He wiped his tears and gave a soft™ smile.
“I hope I don’t look as bad as you do.”
Rory chuckled and leaned his forehead against Benny’s. They were both able to let out the breaths they had been holding. They let go of the tensions that built up that week. Things weren’t quite alright yet, but they would be.
“So...sexy times?” Benny cocked an eyebrow.
“Sexy times.”
#mbav#my babysitter's a vampire#Rory keaner#Benny weir#bennory#fanfiction#fanfic#literature#my works#author#stories
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Reasons: a T-rated McKirk story
featuring Angst (with a happy ending) and James T. Kirk’s self-esteem issues. And a couple of swears.
Also on AO3
“It’s not even worth thinking about, Jim, what’s anyone gonna see in a guy like me anyway.”
It’s not even a question. For a moment Jim is speechless, because it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard and Bones just accepts it. Downs the last of his drink and gets up to use the head with a sigh. Like he’s so sure he’s right, except-
“You know that- that’s not true, don’t you?” Jim asks when Bones returns to his seat, on the couch in Jim’s quarters, only to be regarded with an expression of vague surprise.
“What isn’t?”
“You know that- you could have anyone you wanted. Don’t you?”
The answer, such as it is, just consists of Bones looking at him like he’s gone mad. Jim is sort of concerned he’s fallen into a parallel universe where everyone except for him is an idiot.
“Bones. You’re a catch.”
“Sure, on paper.”
“No! I mean, well, yeah. But not just on paper. Because sure, you’re a doctor and you helped save the planet or whatever, but you’re more than that. You know that.”
Bones pours himself another drink. Jim declines another of his own. He feels like he needs to communicate as clearly as he can. The look in Bones’ eyes is something like a challenge, but Jim never backs down from those.
“I don’t even know where to start- actually, wait, yes I do, because you say it all the time and it really bothers me. The washed-up country doctor thing. You are an amazing doctor. So yes, okay, you got fired from one hospital when you were at literally the lowest stage in your life, battling pretty much all of the worst things anyone can go through. That’s understandable!
“And maybe you did join Starfleet on a drunken whim, but I did it on a fucking dare and I’ll still admit it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Okay, second best, but we’ll circle around to that one. You work so hard every day. You do things most doctors can’t even imagine. You’ve invented techniques that even now are saving lives across the galaxy and don’t you dare say they don’t-” because Bones opens his mouth as though to argue, and then begrudgingly closes it again. “Because I read your mail so I know there’s a Vaynol mother and daughter out there who were saved by your research just yesterday.”
Bones does get a few words in then. “A Vaynol is a breed of cow.”
“Is it? Well, that was a bad example. But my point still stands.”
“And stop reading my mail.”
“I wouldn’t have to if I didn’t have to prove points like these! Next, the divorce. Yes, I know. You see that as a huge personal failing. But you know nobody else does, right? You were so young. Nobody would have blamed you for giving up. But you held on, and you were faithful. Do you have any idea what that means, in times like this? I have never met anybody who would try so hard to keep their relationship going because it was the right thing to do. She screwed you over, real bad, and you still won’t hear a bad word said about her! That respect and loyalty- it’s amazing.”
Bones is silent, watching him. It’s very disconcerting. It means he’s either really listening, or really not.
“And Joanna does not hate you. She misses you. But she’s old enough to understand what you do. She reads every one of your messages, watches every vid you send. And you know she’s somewhere safe. You would never let anything happen to her. She knows that she can talk to you about anything and yeah, maybe it’ll take a couple of weeks for her to get a reply but there always is one. I don’t know if you realise how much that all means.”
Shit. Jim has to blink a few times to clear moisture from his eyes, takes a fortifying sip of his drink because this is turning into so much more than the pep talk he had planned, but he can’t stop yet.
“What else? You’re always telling me you’re old and bitter. Well, I don’t buy it. You act that way, sometimes, but it’s not who you are. You were hurt, and yeah, I know it’s difficult to admit that. But you are also the gentlest person I know. I’ve seen you make an Ensign cry over their own stupidity in one breath and ease another through the treatment for an open fracture in the next. You got Pike through his recovery, listened to every terrible thing he had to say in those months it took us to limp back to Earth. You remember birthdays, even though they’re in everyone’s file. You’ve been talking to Chekov about the panic attacks he thinks I haven’t noticed.
“And you- always know what I need. Do you have any idea how many people, in my entire life, have hugged me? You just care, so damn much. I think you wish you were bitter, because it would make it easier, but- well, I’m sorry. You have saved everyone on this ship, including me, multiple times. And not medically. Although that, too.
“I think that’s most of it. Just one more thing- have you even looked in a mirror recently? Or- ever? Because- holy shit, I am not kidding, you are objectively the most attractive person I have ever met. You are a ten, straight up, and I have no idea how you don’t see it. Okay, that might actually be part of it, in that way that being aware of how attractive you are actually makes you less attractive, case in point-” Jim gestures to himself, gets a quirk of Bones’ brow in response. “And it’s not even the doctor thing, the uniform and the hair and the posture and that face you make when you hate someone but you’re trying not to tell them. You are hot just rolling out of bed or stumbling in from work. Do you want to know the real reason I transferred Yeoman Barnes from Medical to Engineering? He got no work done because he was so flustered around you that he couldn’t even hold a tricorder.
“And as for what’s under the uniform? There are not even words. You should have your own fucking calendar because your body is astounding. How are you slim and broad at the same time?”
Jim takes a deep, reviving breath. He feels light, like he’s just finished a therapy session.
For another moment, Bones is silent. Then he snorts. “You’ve got all that to say, maybe I should be dating you.”
Jim freezes, glass halfway to his mouth, because fuck. He has been desperately obvious, has finally snapped and- “Maybe you should.”
Bones just stares at him. His eyes are wide, beautiful. Jim could have mentioned that too, but even his ridiculous, lovestruck brain apparently recognised it would have been a step too far.
He lowers his glass. His heart is pounding in genuine terror because he could be doing what he has for years promised himself he wouldn’t allow himself to even contemplate. He could ruin everything with those words, could lose his friendship with Bones and a piece of himself along with it.
But even he has to admit there will never be a better moment. He will never again be laid so bare and Bones deserves that, has earned that right to hold Jim’s beating heart in the palm of his hand. Whatever happens next, Jim tells himself, he will be okay with it.
Bones is still staring. Jim only hopes it can be possible that it’s in a good way, lifts his chin but cannot find the confidence to harden his eyes. He lets -makes- himself stay vulnerable instead, has no idea what Bones can see in his face but knows that at least it’s honest.
Every second, another fragment of hope breaks away and dies in Jim’s chest. Jim has never known Bones to have so little to say.
Bones looks shattered, when he finally manages to ask, “Are you asking me out?”
Jim can’t help it, his lips twitch upwards. Of course Bones is just as dense about this as he is about everything Jim’s already had to explain. But his confidence, so usually infallible, is deserting him. Jim has fought to save planets but none of it has carried the weight of what he could be saying in that moment. “Are you saying yes?”
It makes Bones huff, exasperated. “Don’t give me that. Are you asking, or not?”
It’s an out. Jim should take it. “Yes.”
“Why?”
Jim’s heart feels like it’s breaking. It’s so much easier to find words when Bones looks at him like he can’t possibly understand why Jim would want him. “Because I’ve loved you forever.” Jim had thought it would feel good to say it, to set it free, but it hurts, hurts worse than dying and regretting never having said it at all. “Because you’re the only thing that makes my life worth living, some days. I mean everything I’ve said. Anyone would be lucky to have you, and you deserve so much better, but-” Jim has to be honest, has to, even though he hates himself for it. “I want to be selfish with just this one thing. I want you to be mine.”
Tears fall, unhindered, because Jim will not look away, will not miss an instant of the moment that could make or break him, that determines his future. He’ll forever define his life as times with Bones, and without. If he’s honest, he has done for a while now.
“I thought you didn’t believe in love.”
It’s a fair point. Jim manages a watery smile. “I don’t believe in love at first sight. And- I did not love you when you threw up on me. So to say forever, I guess, is hyperbole. It just feels that way because loving you is a part of me that goes so deep it feels like it’s always been there. It makes me better. You make me better. That was- when I said before that Starfleet was the second best thing to ever happen to me. You’re the first.”
Bones is back to staring, confused, surprised, horrified. Jim looks away, then, stares down at the empty glass in his hands. Bones’ is still full. They’re both way too sober to pretend none of this conversation ever happened. It’s probably for the best. In the long-term. Whatever that means.
“Why did you keep this from me?”
It’s valid, of course it is, but Jim wishes Bones would give him an answer instead of more questions. It’s tearing him up inside, not knowing, and he gets a little less hopeful with every moment. With no words to quite sum up his many and varied reasons, Jim settles for gesturing to himself, blotchy and red-eyed and emotional and fucked up as he is, lets that serve as his response.
It doesn’t exactly work. There’s still no answer, but at least Bones’ expression softens and he reaches out with those wonderful, gentle hands to pull Jim into a hug. He’s so solid and warm and Jim has never understood how he can feel so at home in a place he doesn’t feel like he deserves. It might be the last time he ever does. He clings, and he sobs, because he swore he’d never do either of those things with anybody, and Bones just holds him tighter instead of shoving him away like he should. He’s perfect.
“I love you so much,” Jim chokes out without having realised he was going to, because he can’t live with the doubt, the regret, anymore, of Bones not knowing that he is loved, even if it’s only Jim. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” Bones sounds pretty wrung out too, presses his cheek against Jim’s hair. “Don’t you ever apologise for feeling, Jim Kirk. I won’t stand for it.”
Well, how could that do anything but make Jim cry harder? He has never cried in anyone’s arms before; he’s not much of a crier and there were never arms. All he knows is that he can’t lose this.
Bones just holds him, one big hand on the back of Jim’s neck, thumb rubbing through the hair at his nape. It’s soothing, and he doesn’t shush, just waits until Jim has stopped shaking, and then pulls back just enough to look at him. Jim looks terrible, feels worse, but Bones’ soft smile is worth everything.
“We’re going to be a real mess of a couple, you know?”
Jim stops breathing. He’s light-headed before he can get out a stunned, “What?”
“Well, neither of us have exactly dated before. I was married, and you’ve done- whatever it is you do.”
“Did,” Jim corrects, has to. Bones’ gorgeous smile takes on a curious tilt until Jim adds, “I don’t do that any more.”
It’s Bones’ turn to look stunned, although in a good way, Jim thinks. It’s really the least Jim can do, and it’s not like he’s been able to think of anyone but his best friend in years. He’s made token attempts to forget but mostly accepted that Bones is it, for him.
Jim doesn’t know if it’s his words or the way his thoughts show in his expression, but that’s when Bones leans in and kisses him. Even as he somehow finds the coordination to kiss back, Jim whimpers, because it’s all he’s wanted for so long and it’s perfect right down to the taste of bourbon on Bones’ lips. Jim doesn’t deserve this, he never has, but he trusts Bones to decide for him in that moment. What matters is that he feels like a part of himself has slotted into place, filling a void he’d thought he’d have forever. Bones’ lips are warm and soft and he’s close enough that Jim can touch his chest and marvel at finally being allowed, at not having to feel guilt every time he aches to tell Bones he’s beautiful.
It can’t go on for long. Jim’s been crying and he can’t breathe through his nose and he is a complete disaster, but Bones knows that already. He knows Jim better than anyone, and he still wants him. Jim can hardly believe it. He settles back, just far enough away from Bones to be comfortable.
“Also you have great taste in men,” he ventures, and Bones’ fond exasperation is reassuringly familiar. They can do this.
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