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inkblackorchid · 11 months

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So... about season 3 Aki.

Ok harsh contrast to my previous, excited post, but I did say I had more to yell about episode 75 and I need to get this off my chest anyway. Plus, I remember mentioning in a post that I need to talk about season 3 onward Aki anyhow, so might as well do that now! I am thinking Big Thoughts and I need to Scream.

Long, incoherent, unhinged rant incoming because I have 100 things to say and 100000 screenshots to post, but I am also tired and my brain is mush.

Can we please talk about all the jarringly unfulfilled setup the start of season 3 did for Aki? Because I'm starting to feel an urge to claw at the walls. I'm gonna go through this, piece by piece of damning evidence, because I need to vent my utter confusion and frustration somehow, I guess. Okay. So.

After giving us a bit of time to settle in after the timeskip into the pre-WRGP stretch of things, the itty-bitty portion of the story Aki occupies at this point starts off arguably strong. Yusei gets kidnapped, everyone's in a frenzy about it, but Aki's especially worried.

Then this. Funky new signer powers! Nobody's been able to do this before! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

Then Aki "no sense of self-preservation" Izayoi gets herself in a bunch of danger trying to rescue Yusei and we get this:

Oh! Wow! Aki can control her powers now! (Which: how. Why did they never show us this. That alone could have made for a whole mini-arc. Why waste that????) That would give the writers so many cool opportunities to let her use them! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

(Side note: I love this scene. I love it to death. They're both ride-or-die "who cares for my safety when yours is on the line" for each other and I love them.)

Of course, shenanigans then ensue, leading up to Sherry's marvellous introduction.

(Mwah. I blow her a little kiss.)

And it is at this point that Aki Has An Epiphany.

And to top it off, she gets some interesting interactions with Sherry, too!

So Aki resolves that she wants to become a turbo-duellist, too. And the thing is, this isn't a little one-off thing or something they never deliver on. They end up building this up for several episodes, bit by bit. First we get another mention of it at the pre-WRGP press thingy they all attend:

Then it's brought up again when Yusei accepts the first duel against Bruno/Antinomy:

(Also, side note again, but can I just mention that Aki also gets this moment the episode before:)

(Where she literally puts herself directly in harm's way in a public setting to protect people with her powers??? Like, I'm sorry, pinch me or something, but how does that not scream "badass good girl setup"???? HOW?)

So we get at least three episodes worth of buildup where Aki agonizes over becoming a turbo duellist to understand what her friends (but especially Yusei) are feeling when they duel like that, and then they finally deliver on it and episode 75 has her getting her license. And it's fantastic. Seriously. That episode is golden. Not just because it delivers on this promise, not just because it has a really cute moment between Aki and Yusei in it (regardless of how you read their relationship dynamic), and not just because it (as per my last post) showcases how much the rest of Team 5Ds cares about Aki (by literally building a runner for her and accompanying her to her exam and don't even get me started on Jack beating up those jerks trying to make her crash unprompted) but because it gives us just that smidgen more detail about Aki's character, too. Because the thing is, at first, she majorly sucks at driving.

And not only is this realistic to a degree (learning to drive is hard, regardless of what you're learning to drive), it's also great, because you know what Aki's response to it is?

She keeps going. She doesn't let it get her down, she gets back up and tries again. (And from a writing standpoint, this is lovely because that stubbornness is great in situations like this, but you could easily turn it into a weakness in a different scenario if you wanted to.)

And not only does Aki learn driving the hard way here, she also finds herself confronted with jerks who don't want her to succeed,

(Ruka, sweetie, I love you.)

and she makes an absolute rookie mistake during her exam by trying to play a speed spell when she doesn't have the necessary speed counters.

And feel free to disagree, but I think this is also great. Because honestly? While driving a really damned fast motorcycle that I'm not super used to yet, and being expected to make solid tactical judgements in an overcomplicated card game—the rules of which are slightly different when you're playing it on a motorcycle—at the same time, I would likely also mess up like that and accidentally try to make an illegal play. But the thing is, the episode rewards her for sticking it out anyway by letting her pull off a really complicated driving manoeuvre to save herself from her envious turbo-duelling-license colleagues' cheap tricks, and by letting her score a really nice win from a tight spot, much like any of the boys would have in her position.

(Take that, you jerks. Dumbasses only get blurry screenshots.)

So Aki gets her license and is welcomed by the team as a fresh turbo duellist. Hooray!

(I love them all so, so much, help me.)

And we also get this:

Wouldn't you know it! Sherry's been watching Aki get her license with interest! And she seems to be mighty pleased with the result!

So. After all that, I don't think you could blame anyone (it's me, I'm anyone) for getting really excited about what Aki's gonna get up to from this point outward. Aki can control her powers now! And she got her turbo duelling license! And we've got a new, enigmatic side character who seems like she could have super interesting interactions with and play off Aki! I wonder what they're gonna do with all that.

*deep breath*

Sigh.

Seeing as I already know this show like the palm of my hand, I kind of dreaded getting past this episode because I know exactly what happens to Aki from this point out: Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Okay, well, no. See, I went back and checked all the episodes I have left, just to make sure, just in case I forgot something (very likely when you've already watched the show three times, I know).

From here on out, during the entire pre-WRGP, WRGP, and Ark Cradle arc, Aki gets exactly three things to do:

She uses her shiny new turbo duelling license to fill in for Crow at the Team Unicorn match because he got injured. Which, on paper, is a perfect way to let her have the spotlight for a moment. Except, the only thing she gets that spotlight for is to last a hot four turns in the duel before losing spectacularly to Andre and literally never turbo duelling again for the rest of the show. (Like, yes. The moment where she summons Stardust Dragon is chefs kiss and legendary. But in light of the surrounding circumstances, it feels like a consolation prize to make up for the ensuing character trainwreck.)

Since Crow is technically still injured when they're meant to go up against Team Catastrophe, Aki trains to fill in for him there again. Except! They intentionally make her crash right before the duel, putting her in a short-term coma! And as the icing on the cake, when she wakes up, it also turns out she lost the powers she was only just able to control for absolutely. no. reason. None. They never bother explaining it, they don't even try to hint at why they might have vanished. (I have my own theories for why they had to let her powers vanish and they all start and end with the words "we couldn't be bothered to figure out how to write this character".)

At the very end of the show, the very end, after temporarily fridging Sherry, too, they dig both girls back up in order to let them participate in a three-way final boss duel with Crow. (Which is a fantastic duel, I love it to pieces. Genuinely.) You could argue that they tried to cash in on all the intrigue they set up between Aki and Sherry here, but—come on. At the end of the show? Seriously? Oh, and did I mention that for some reason, Aki's powers mysteriously reappear after this duel? For no reason? Again?

I just. It does not compute. They went as far as doing all this setup, letting Aki get the hang of her powers, letting her get her license, making her part of Team 5Ds, even giving us a new character that seemed like the perfect fit to let her bounce off of—and then, like some sort of kafkaesque reverse-miracle, they somehow managed to take a sharp left into "whoops, don't care about this character" and nearly wasted the entirety of that setup in one fell swoop. If it weren't for that finale saving at least a smidgen of it, I'd be holding a torch and a pitchfork over here. (Hell, I might, even knowing that Aki's final duel in the show is kickass.)

Please tell me if this is just me (15 years after the show released, I know, leave me alone), but this feels like they were literally loading Chekov's gun directly within view of the audience, only to later procede to toss the damned thing into the sea instead of firing it.

Okay. Okay, I think I'm done. For anyone who actually bothered with the whole post, first of all, thank you for your attention, secondly, sorry, but this does, indeed, still bother me ten years after I first found this show, so I had to get it out or it would have eaten at me forever. God damn it.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to writing fics where Aki actually gets something to do right this second. If anyone's interested in giving a fic series where Aki gets a separate character arc that tries to stay mostly canon-compliant after the defeat of the dark signers a go, you can find my stuff here.

#yugioh 5ds #aki izayoi #akiza izinski #ygo 5ds #character analysis #orchid watches 5ds (again)#orchid rambles #setup and no payoff is one of the worst things you can do to me in media #I get so unreasonably maaaaaaad #they literally gave themselves so many opportunities to do something with Aki #and then they wasted them all #also shameless plug I know #look I'm just trying to attract more people who will yell about Aki with me #that's what I do here #ok I'll shut up now

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tanadrin · 10 months

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After reading criticisms of the NAP I agree with your assessment of it being inconsistent and whatnot. I'm still a somewhat libertarian minded person though so I don't know where to go from here

the libertarian instinct i vibe strongest with is criticism of systems of coercion (which they share with anarchists), and an emphasis on personal autonomy. these are both very good things.

the problem with, like, turbo anarchocapitalism is they see these as inextricable from a very specific, very strong construction of property rights, aren't interested in contending with the ways that construction of property rights lends itself to the creation of coercive and exploitative systems (indeed, is indistinguishable from feudalism in its most extreme cases), and they try to build the entire thing on the nonaggression principle, which is pretty clearly untenable.

trying to reduce ethics to a single overriding rule that's meant to capture all our intuitions about the world probably is impossible. ethics is harder than that, and policy--like, the real-world application of law and politics--is much harder. because an ethical framework which holds that (for example) a small tax that deprives someone of a wealth with very little marginal value to support people for whom that same wealth has immense value, and indeed who would die without it--say, a system of universal health care--requires us to bite some pretty ugly bullets, including some really bad on-the-ground outcomes, in the name of conceptual purity.

IMO being able to flexibly appreciate the good elements of various political philosophies while also acknowledging their criticisms is better than deciding to be a diehard partisan of one in particular. making a political label an important part of your identity just leads to stupid identity politics-type squabbles that do nobody any good.

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themetalvirus · 4 months

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egghog shadow enjoys using firearms and knows how to use them safely but sometimes disregards the rules for the sake of coolness or bored experimentation with turbo powered fifty barrelled bazookas or whatever. egghog silver feels no desire to use firearms and doesn't care to learn. egghog sonic wants to use guns so bad but nobody will let him everypony so mean to him :( (doesnt listen in attempted weapons training) (freckle lackadaisy shooting gun.gif) (sounds of shadow and sonic arguing loudly while shadow wrestles the gun off of him)

#exoticbutterstxt

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steadymongerbatscissors · 11 months

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Turbo Tails & The Chosen One Prophecy (More specifically how to fix it)

The Prophecy & It’s Problems

(I’m gonna be breaking this up into sections cause its gonna be a lot)

The chosen one prophecy has always been a contentious subject in the the Archie sonic community. Some people like the prophecy while other people hate it with a burning passion.

Me personally I like cause it gives Tails (My favorite character) some time to shine and show off that he is more than a sidekick for sonic.

But let’s get into what the Prophecy actually says.

Pretty simple right a chosen one will walk among regular Mobians and realign the chaos emeralds for something called the great harmony.

Well here’s where it gets complicated when the great harmony happens no harmony really happens the chaos emeralds just become 7 instead of millions.

If anything things get worse after the great harmony happens.

What Harmony? (THE PLACEMENT)

Some examples

Fiona betrays the Freedom Fighters

Knothole gets blown up

Tails and Sonic get into a actual fight

The Echidnas and Saffron get sent to Turbohell

There is an attempted coup d'é·tat from the Prowers

Sally gets robotized

The Universe is reset multiple times,one resulting in many characters getting erased from existence

Mammoth Mogul and Naugus get out of Jail

This is only a little too.

Looking it all this dosen’t seem that harmonious

Note:I know some of this is from Ken Penders lawsuit but I’m just looking at what happened in the comic not in real life.

Now I’m not saying let everything be dandelions and sunshine after cause that be boring but it’s placement in the comic is weird considering this feels like a end of the comic event.

If you haven’t realized it yet one of the many problems is the placement of this event.

Another problem I’m going to be talking about in the next section is the people involved.

Why are you here? (The People)

The people involved with it are Sonic,Eggman,Shadow,Tails,Tommy,and Adam.

Now look at that roster and tell any of them other than tails are necessary for this event.

Sonic sure because Tails is his little brother and he should be there to see how amazing his little bro is.

But Eggman,Adam,Tommy,and Shadow are not necessary.

You know who is actually necessary

Mogul (The Mammoth that was set up as Tails’s ultimate villain)

Athair (The Echidna who told us about the prophecy)

The Ancient Walkers (The dinosaurs who made the prophecy)

Merlin (The Fox who should have been training Tails for the prophecy but I’ll talk about him in a different post)

The Freedom Fighters (The people who raised Tails and would not have let him be kidnapped by Jules of all people)

But none of these people are here cause we have to see Super Sonic even though the Enerjak arc is not too far off

Note:The Great Harmony is issue 169 while the Enerjak arc is issue 184

The final and in my opinion biggest problem is the Execution

All That Build Up For What? (The Execution)

Dear god does the execution of the Great Harmony suck ass. (Excuse my language)

I’m sorry but the event that every ancient being has hyping up for more than 100 chapters amounts to opening a portal and putting emeralds in the silent zone.

I’m sorry but that sucks.

Where the pizzaz,the excitement,the pacing.

Then after all of that were meant to feel sorry for character that nobody cared about dying.

Now that we’ve covered all we can move onto the next part of this post Turbo Tails.

Turbo Tails

Ahh Turbo Tails so underrated yet so deserving of the critiscms you get.

But I won’t be too harsh on you after all it’s not your fault it’s the writers.

Lets just go over what Turbo Tails is.

But wait that’s complicated too cause nobody knows what Turbo Tails is.

He not’s a super form cause Athair needed Merlin to awaken Tails as the chosen one to fight chaos knuckles.

Some more proof of this is that Merlin and Athair both believe that Turbo Tails is stronger than Super Sonic and Hyper Knuckles

(Reminder they believed that Turbo Tails only lost because he was a clone so could Turbo Tails beat Chaos Knuckles)

Now it this was anybody else’s saying that Turbo Tails was stronger than them. I would have some disbelief but they are people who have direct lines of communication to the Ancient Walkers (The dinosaurs who are so good at manipulating the chaos force that they are viewed as gods) and practice manipulating the chaos force so I’m gonna believe them.

Heck Master Mogul was beating the crap out of Super Sonic and Hyper Knuckles however when Turbo Tails shows up they start winning.

(Before Turbo Tails)

(After Turbo Tails)

But complications arrive when during the Great Harmony when Turbo Tails is formed when the Chaos Emeralds all arrive at the tower.

So that’s another issue that needs to be fixed what is the Turbo Form and what is its Power.

More specifically why is the tails the only one that gets a Turbo Form, I mean the comic had no problem giving sonic a completely new form

I.E Ultra Sonic

But enough of me ragging on Turbo Tails.

It is finally time for me to take this jumbled mess of a Prophecy and somewhat decent in my opinion your free to disagree with any of my ideas.

How To Fix It

(Remember from here on out this is my interpretation)

Lets start from the beginning and by beginning I mean with the Prophecy itself.

So first off when it says the Chosen One will bring Harmony its means to bring Harmony to the Chaos Force not to the entire world.

I bet you're asking why would the Chaos Force need Harmony. The reason is because most people go to the negative side of the Chaos Force not the positive side of it. Some Examples of These Type of People

Finitevius

Mammoth Mogul

Ixis Naugus

Perfect Chaos

The Echidna Brotherhood of Guardians (Only some members)

Enerjak

While the people who use the positive side of the Chaos Force are

Knuckles

Tails

Sonic

So yeah not a big list of positive chaos force users

Note:I didn't include Shadow because he uses both sides and Silver because he is from a future where the Chaos Force is already Harmonized

So when Tails harmonizes the chaos force what he is really doing is making more positive chaos users like Ray,Mighty,and the ancestor to Silver.

This fixes the placement issue as instead of being some big event that felt like it was placed in the wrong area because threats keep coming it makes the good side a little more balanced and allows threats to keep coming since the Chaos Force was balanced instead of the World getting Great Harmony that isn't actually there.

The next issue I'm gonna fix is gonna be the people involved because Tommy does not need to be here.

What's gonna happen instead of Adam kidnapping Tails and forcing him to call the emeralds Mogul is gonna kidnap him instead cause he actually knows that the Prophecy is a thing and wants the chaos energy to become an All Powerful God again.

(Reminder:Master Mogul only shows up when Mammoth Mogul gets an obscene amount of chaos energy like when he absorbed Enerjak's energy or Chaos Knuckles energy so I think a ton of chaos emeralds would work.)

Also it makes more sense for Mogul to kidnap him instead of Jules just suddenly being able to fight a freedom fighter all of a sudden.

Of course the Freedom Fighters aren't just gonna sit there and let Mogul just kidnap Tails so they go after him with the Chaotix as backup giving a reason why Mighty and Ray get Chaos Powers after this.

If it involves the chosen one you know Merlin,and Athair come along, maybe even have the Ancient Walkers come along cause all five of know that now is when the Prophecy is gonna happen.

So now you have all your players in the field

This fixes the problem of the people involved as we know have gotten Eggman,Tommy,Shadow,and Adam out of the story and the more key important people involved.

The battle is fought between the Freedom Fighters & Chaotix on one side and the Destructix,Naugus and Mogul on the other side.

Now for the match ups these being

Sergeant Simian vs Mighty,Bunnie

Flying Frog vs Amy,Fiona

Lightning Lynx vs Espio,Sally

Predator Hawk vs Saffron,Ray,Charmy

Crazy Naugus vs Julie su,Antoine

Mammoth Mogul vs Sonic,Knuckles,Vector,Nicole in a Mech

Rotor is providing air support from the Sky

You can include hints of Fiona being a traitor if you want me personally I don't like her as a traitor cause there was no hints, and no not appearing in a few issues dosen't mean she is a traitor.

As always the magic people are watching and waiting for the right moment.

Tails is strapped to some sort of ancient magical pedestal.

After some time the fights stop and everybody is just shocked at the amount of emeralds that appeared.

That's when the magical people step into the fray.

The Ancient Walkers free Tails.

Athair starts batting with Mogul.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix that weren't fighting Mogul finish off their opponents.

They all reunite with Tails.

Merlin comes up and the conversation goes like this.

Merlin:You ready?

Tails:Did you watch get strapped to that thing and be forced to summon all the chaos emeralds?

Merlin:Not Important! <Turns Tails into Turbo Tails>

While Tails is transforming we get an explanation on what Turbo Tails is. Turbo Tail is basically a form that is between the Super Tails and Hyper Tails and is exclusively for Tails because he is the chosen one.

Eventually Mogul finishes off the people he was fighting and tries to run for the tons of emeralds to transform.Turbo Tails just beats him into the ground

After that Tails then forges all the millions of emeralds into a set of 7 using a chaos control.The chaos control release a blast however that hits Mighty,Ray,and a Civilian buried under some rubble.The Civilian is brought back to life from this and then runs away though he is seen as a silver hedgehog.

The Ancient Walkers then come down from wherever they were to thank Tails for creating Harmony among the chaos force and let him know there will still be many trials to face.

This in my opinion fixes the execution because let’s be honest what was so exciting about them shoving some emeralds in a portal.

I think fight is far more entertaining though maybe you liked the original comic and that is completely fine this is just my thought process

The End

I will elaborate some more another time as I am getting tired of writing this long ass post so thanks for reading this far and tell me what you think.

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hasdrubal-gisco · 1 month

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eurovision '24 semifinal 1 early review

content and spoiler warning for croatia, cyprus, ireland, lithuania, poland, serbia, ukraine, australia, azerbaijan, finland, iceland, luxembourg, moldova, portugal, slovenia, germany, sweden, united kingdom

croatia - it's not easy going first but this is a bad way to do it regardless. already the woke agenda has us singing about anxiety attacks. if you are prone to anxiety get off the stage and let real warriors conquer the hearts of evropa. "my presence fades to black" yeah i wish it would. qorban/10

cyprus - many have said this before but i think cypriots should launch missiles at ankara just to see what would happen. singer is very serbian looking with the ironed long hair, very 2008 romcom looking music video (complimentary), forgettable song, thus has got to be someone's niece. mid/10

ireland - thank you god for making our enemies this embarrassing. i just know she had a self harm tumblr blog in 2013. very sincerely sending this to eurovision is comparable in national humiliation to the treaties of trianon and versailles. 30 year old antisemitic pagan themlet/10

lithuania - this is nothing. lithuania/10

poland - kinda of a normal pop song, i can see myself hearing this on the radio while stuck at a red light. good to see a weird looking woman. jeszcze polska nie zginęła/10

serbia - #JUSTICE FOR BRESKVICA. zorja or zejna or breskvica would have mopped the floor with her. this will lose and it will deserve it, hopefully all the PZE jury members including sajsi will be executed in a public square. bad/10

ukraine - hate to say it but the loathsome ruthenians have once again sent a good contestant. if my last name was Shemaieva i would simply not use Heil as an artistic name. i can hardly believe i'm saying this but i think it would be better without the fat girl rapping. critical support for ruthenian autonomous oblast/10

australia - my opinion is colored by the fact that i was viewing the music video, which is a consistent two and a half minute face closeup of the white guy cumming. the song itself is not bad, but i could do without the white guy cumming, actually. australia gets a pass this year/10

azerbaijan - you can always count on the iranic people to sneak in subtle references to sun-worship. oldest trick in the book. considering this was the last song picked, this was maybe not worth the wait. don't want to doxx anyone but one of the backup dancers looks like a beloved tumblr user. eeh/10

finland - random xD WAFFLES. the "what does the fox say" candidate of the year, and of course its from the turbo-autistic finns. total opposite of tact and taste. the west has fallen to its far-easternmost asiatic enemy (the mongols (finns)). beyond repair/10

iceland - based for sending an older woman. this is pretty good, nothing much to add. will maybe listen to the icelandic version. top quartile/10

luxembourg - israeli broad with skinny arms singing in french ? *wiping the sweat from my brow*. finally something worthwhile out of europe's last grand duchy. am yisroel chai/10

moldova - pleasant surprise out of the illegitimate romanian province of moldova. dignified in an atmosphere where others have been deliberately embarrassing. not impaling anyone's heart/10

portugal - this is nothing. portugal would benefit from being brazil's european vassal state. meu curaçao :(/10

slovenia - the best of the three of this exact performer that we've seen, not that that's very high praise. eeh/10

germany - pleasant surprise in an otherwise very mid year. not the worst guderian i know. germany/10

sweden - i can feel the martin x marcus x reader spam in the tags already. usually they at least send something that's listenable under normal circumstances but not eurovision-material,but not even that this time around. as always, marg bar sweden/10

united kingdom - (watching the official music video) lol that's probably 4k/mo in london. nobody cares about the failstate of the united cringedom, they should have been excised from the contest when they left the eu. nice trainspotting references in the clip tho. bleh/10

final conclusion - overall very disappointing year, luxembourg stands in a separate category, even without the ethnonarcissism. germany, moldova, iceland, ukraine are okay but nothing to be thrilled about. the plague of appealing to jury votes at the cost of anything interesting is crushing this competition. seeing what got passed up in serbia instead of teya dora makes one wonder what the situation is like in other countries. help me, zejna. zejna, help me. i hope semi 2 will be better but there's not many heavy hitters

#esc24

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thatforgottenbasilisk · 3 months

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the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

Chapter 1 (AO3)

Originally posted on 1/22/2024

Summary:

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

OFFICIAL archive discord

#general

hibitchcus flower just slid into the server.

hibitchcus flower just changed their nickname to TIM TAM TOM

Turbo nerd as in the movie joined the party.

TIM TAM TOM just changed Turbo nerd as in the movie's nickname to sash (❁´◡`❁)

sash (❁´◡`❁): Acceptable only because of the kaomoji

Good to see you, Blackwood, Martin

TIM TAM TOM: ugh god marto please tell me you just made that account 5 minutes ago

Blackwood, Martin: I'm sorry I've literally never heard of Discord!!

sash (❁´◡`❁): Give him a break he probably thought it was an official work thing

sash (❁´◡`❁): Directly affiliated with the Magnus Institute, London

TIM TAM TOM: please sash no jon references this early in the morning

Blackwood, Martin: It's 11:30?

TIM TAM TOM: if it's the AM it's too early in the morning

sash (❁´◡`❁): You voluntarily wake up at six, don't act like you're one of us

Blackwood, Martin: You're a morning person?

sash (❁´◡`❁): He goes to bed no later than 10 pm except for on special occasions

TIM TAM TOM: why would you call me out like this

TIM TAM TOM: im wounded

Blackwood, Martin: You should be

sash (❁´◡`❁): You should be

TIM TAM TOM: youre ganging up on me already i see how it is

TIM TAM TOM: also your name is giving me hives

TIM TAM TOM just changed Blackwood, Martin's nickname to MARTY PARTY

MARTY PARTY: Now I'm getting hives

sash (❁´◡`❁): You can change it in the top left corner

MARTY PARTY: Thank you!!

MARTY PARTY just changed their nickname to mahtin

mahtin: There, more acceptable

TIM TAM TOM: what did i JUST say about jon references

mahtin: You don't pronounce the 'r' in my name either? Nobody does? This is London?

TIM TAM TOM: yeah but jon is the most intense about it

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN YOU FORMATTED THIS INCORRECTLY!! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN THE STANDARD WAY THAT WE FORMAT THINGS HERE HAS TWELVE-POINT FONT, NOT ELEVEN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN I DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVENT DONE A REPORT LIKE THIS SINCE YOUR MASTER'S THAT YOU GOT TEN YEARS AGO! I'M GOING TO BE A BITCH ABOUT IT ANYWAY!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN!

mahtin: I mean, to be fair, I truly haven't got a clue on how to do half these reports and follow-ups

mahtin: It's been too long since I've done anything outside of, you know, Library Things

mahtin: I don't blame him for being frustrated sometimes

TIM TAM TOM: once you get used to it its not hard at all

TIM TAM TOM: esp since you did it in uni all u gotta do is dust off them memoreez

sash (❁´◡`❁): Jon is unecessarily dramatic and mean about it though

TIM TAM TOM: ^^

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's like that with most things, though, so it's fine

sash (❁´◡`❁): He doesn't mean anything personal by it

TIM TAM TOM: we only bully him a little bit for it

mahtin: ah

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... 'ah?'

TIM TAM TOM: ??

mahtin: I see

mahtin: I may owe him an apology?

sash (❁´◡`❁): You what

TIM TAM TOM: im torn

TIM TAM TOM: on the one hand hell yeah lets go marto my man

TIM TAM TOM: on the other hand jon? is he okay? did you actually hurt his feelings ? the only reason hes not in the discord is bc hes fucking insufferable rn and also bc electronics dont like him-

mahtin: I could tell you what I did? To make you not torn?

TIM TAM TOM: no

mahtin: Well I'm going to say it anyway to determine if an apology is in order

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yes go ahead don't let Tim convince you otherwise

mahtin: Well

mahtin: I may have started a bit of a fight with him?

mahtin: Might have implied that he didn't pay attention in Uni?

mahtin: I was completely pulling it out of my arse but I was tired of being corrected on a bunch of little things like I'm SORRY it's been over TEN YEARS since I did ANY education

mahtin: So I dug in my heels on some inane little thing and now it's kind of. On sight

mahtin: This has been going on for a few days now? I'm surprised nobody picked up on it honestly

mahtin: I mean who has an argument about spiders? Even most arachnophobes agree that the jumping ones are cute! They're small and fuzzy what's not to love!

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

TIM TAM TOM: if sash says dont bring something up w someone it means she hacked into somewhere she shouldnt and saw things nobody wanted her to see

TIM TAM TOM: she does that with everyone btw

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's easier to just look at the 'phobia' part than dance around like "hey, most people at the Fear Research Institute are absolutely fucking terrified of something, which club are you in? what should I not talk about with you?"

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's EFFICIENT and not personal information in the FEAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE it's basically an icebreaker question in Artifact Storage

sash (❁´◡`❁): For example

sash (❁´◡`❁): No clowns or mannequins with Tim

TIM TAM TOM: or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): Or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): I'm fine with pretty much anything in all honesty but I'll let you know if that changes

mahtin: Does my file say anything? I don't remember what I said my fear was

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yours was something existential like 'loneliness' or something like that

sash (❁´◡`❁): I don't tend to get that deep with my coworkers so if it's not going to come up in conversation I don't put in as much effort to remember it

mahtin: ... Interesting

mahtin: I don't remember what I said my fear was but I'm fairly certain it was something concrete

mahtin: Might've been snakes? I used to be scared of snakes for a while

mahtin: Then I got a part time job at a pet store for some extra money and their snakes were cool so no more of that

mahtin: But I was only asked the fear question once? During my interview?

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... Weird

TIM TAM TOM: ... indeed

#tma #tma fic #my writing #the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat #the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat fic

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turbro · 2 years

Text

Had a dream last night where I lived on the fifth floor of a building where the first floor was a Burger King, and all the elevator buttons I needed to push were also rigged to set off the fire alarm

#nobody cares turbo

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noonesgaylikegatson · 5 months

Note

People who insist on calling themselves turbo ultra normies irl while harrasing people online and even admitting to do so offline are so insufferable

Someone made an edgy post about being trans and punk or something and this one TERFem blog decided to weigh in like 'YOU DONT TERRIFY youre a laughingstock even to people you trust and my source is that my wife and I are giga normies irl and friends are making priv group chats to talk about gendies and invite us. Nobody likes you except corporations and misogynistic men 😂😂😂'

OMg! So right. Like they really think normal people out here seething over trans people. Like people really do not care.

They’re just living their own lives.

#gmadi #ask #anon

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space-blue · 6 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @pinkytoothlesso11 Thank you! This is a long one, but very interesting well rounded questions for fic writers. I'll tag: @spicedrobot @skierunner @ashcroft-writes @kitepiper @calyxgold @ceruleanphoenix7 -- Not obligated to do this, just thought it may be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

165

2. What's your total A03 word count?

664,619 words

3. What fandom's do you write for?

Star Wars (75+), Arcane (46), Original works (13), Avatar (12), Elden Ring (5), a couple "fairytale" fandoms (red riding hood retellings), and then a bunch of single works. I'm kinda spicy over the fact I have a single work in Hannibal, when it was me uploading a story a day for my first Nano. Ended up doing it all in one work to not have 30 stories, but I should have made a series. Many readers never made it to the end of that fic due to the absence of structure and--- I'm rambling.... (It should really say Hannibal (30))

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fathers and Daughters

Never Too Late

Then the dreadful night shall break

Five is an awful number

While the world turns around

2 star wars fics, 2 arcane and 1 avatar? It's a good representation of my work!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, unless they're turbo dumb and I'm at a loss for words... Or they somehow slip past me.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Eeeh, tough one! I like angst... There's an entire series I completed over the course of a month. The idea came from a redditor who made a collection for it : we had to kill the same character in a different manner every month. 12 death fics... For Obi-Wan Kenobi. I think the more gruesome one is Unhappy Landing. Mind the tags.

But I think it's on equal footing with the Arcane fic Whatever I Do, This Is Where We End which focused on a Silco/Vander timeloop, where Silco was the one in the loop, but Vander was the POV character the entire time. No happy ending and many, many deaths which grow increasingly meaningless.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have a lot of those so not sure... But narrative wise, I think it's Never Too Late, which is reflected in its stats. It's about Obi-Wan reaching out to Dooku after QGJ's death. It's emotional and basically guarantees Anakin will have a bright future in better care. I have sooo many comments asking for more on it, almost as many as on my fallen Kenobi fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes... When some disease breaks down my immune defenses... It's not very good though. I'm the wrong kind of ace for it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have, as a gimmick, like Arcane characters in a Star Wars setting... But I never think of it, and I basically never read crossovers. They're not my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. It has happened to my art though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, though nobody ever rode the length of the work with me ahah!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, multiple times! That's stuff I really enjoy! I've done a Thrawn/Cad Bane with Spicedrobot, and an infamously hated Codywan fic with CollisionTheory... both featuring smut! I also did projects like 3 writers doing different entries within an overarching story (when i tried to wrangle friends into the kill your darlings all year scheme). Collabs are very fun, I especially like working with artists. If you want to work on something hit me up!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Vander/Silco, maybe, but Hannigram is breathing down my neck...

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh no... too many to count. I guess my first fic ever, The Tactician. I went on a never ending 'this is just a side thing because I'm in a rut' spiral, and now I have 165 fics. IIRC I have about 24 WIPs on AO3.

PLEASE DON'T HURT ME I'M TRYIN OKK??

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and banter.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut and romance, and also sometimes killing my darlings (not characters, but pieces of heavy lore my betas are trying to rip from my sticky fingers because they don't care).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done it only in fake alien languages, never received any praise for it, don't plan on doing it again. Real life language... eeeh not unless I have a really good reason for it somehow.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars. Thrawn... the Original blue daddy!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

It would have to be my magnum opus, Fathers and Daughters. Not just because I think it's the pinnacle of my worst brainrot ever, but also because I'm forever impressed with myself for holding on that long. Sometimes I re-read it and can't remember writing half of it. I've made myself snicker at my own jokes, so I think I've done a good job of it!

But in my heart of hearts, there's one chapter of that long series of Hannibal ficlet which somehow is one of the pieces of writing I'm smugest about. I just think it's so neat... It's called To Visit Her, it's 222 words, and depicts Hannibal's mind palace, and its innermost chamber. I genuinely think I peaked years ago with some of those ficlets x'D

#fanfic #ao3 #tag game #fanfic tag game #writer #star wars #arcane #hannibal #avatar #long post #text post

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borisbubbles · 1 year

Text

Eurovision 2022: #25 - #21

25. ARMENIA

Rosa Linn - “Snap”

20th place

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youtube

Overall placement: 50/79

[Above The Black Mamba, below James Newman]

Ugh, Fine.

Time to finish this ranking turbo style! So yeah, I’m not impressed with The Biggest Eurovision Hit, which I suppose is a controversial opinion? Then again, if Rosa was so good, then why did she only make it 20th place, hmmm? 🤔🤔

When Rosa’s song leaked it sounded exactly like the type of song you’d expect DMGP to commit murder for: a frivolous, cheery pop welterweight (which somehow has the same cadence as I’m Alive by Elhaida Dani) thats easy to listen to and doesn’t get in the way of stanning better things.

At Eurovision, this was Rosa’s exact journey. She was a cute presence that was vaguely liked, and her staging supported this. (despite the staging mishaps, still pretty neat!) Don’t know what all the references in the lyrics are about, but we can pretend it added some depth and meaning, Into 20th place she went, which was a fair result for what her lovable random self brought to the table.

Then, she went viral on TikTok, which honestly is more of an “eww” than a “good on her” i m o. Okay, look, it defo does not surprise me that out of the entire 2022 catalogue this song became the viral one. TikTok viralness is a horrible metric for musical quality though. “Snap” works as a TikTok song specifcally because it doesn’t syphon attention away from whatever brainfart nonsense TikTokkers force on their feeds for a living. If you want a backing track to your “Make mac ‘n’ cheese by dumping the ingredients on a marble countertop” silliness or your indie song-singing 101 Tutorial, might as well pick something like a Snap as the accompanying backing track.

Also, I always felt the record label behind Rosa Linn was a bit too eager to get A Big Kicker on their conto. Remember when Rosa -likely on urging from her mentor Tamar Karpelian- attempted to start a respectful discussion on Twitter (oh dear) about how wonderful NFTs were (oh dear) because they helped establish a base income for fledgling artists,like herself (oh dearrrr) without having to rely on her songs getting streams? (oh dearrrrrrrrr)Twitter gave their usual gaslighting-disguised-as-concern response which in turn forced Rosa issue a semi-confused, half-arsed apology for attempting to profit from her work. Okay that was kinda funny, but by Monika Liu’s grown-out bob, Zoomer drama is the nuttiest drama, I swear.

Anyway, the aforementioned NFT shizzle, the association with Tamar’s Slytherin Evil, the TikTok viralness and the radio people’s sudden insistence that “Snap” was A Hidden Underrated Gem despite it being an inconspicuous 20th placer at Eurivision THAT NOBODY CARED ABOUT, and also the fact that Snap has five different versions (HER?!) all kinda hints at a certain ambition that just... taints it a bit for me. It just feels like Snap’s popularity didn’t develop itself naturally and but came about due to largely commercial and monetary reasons, after which the sheeple convinced themselves retroactively that it was secretly great and very underrated, since you know, influencers would never twist the truth to us for their own profit.

Overall the song’s fine in a vaccuum. Underneath its base sheer lie values that my crusty millennial monroe ass doesn’t share. FARE THEE WELL, MISS LINN, YOU GO BYE NOW!!!

-----------------------

24. CROATIA

Mia Dimsic - “Guilty pleasure”

26th place

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Decade placement: 47/79

[above The Roop, below Tusse]

Oh look, another vaguely pleasant, mildly likabable, and ultimately not very exciting middle-of-the-road pop melody. The cynic in you might think I’m ranking Mia ahead of Rosa because Mia didn’t go viral, and like always the cynic in you is correct! Hooray! 😁 Yeah sorry, in the ongoing battle of overrated vs underrated, it’s the correctly rated that always win :-)

Still, like Rosa, Mia had the potential to be green on my ranking if she had cultivated a status as a fun random. TSwift IS a guilty pleasure of mine (except for her Midnights Era self which is unironically great) and while “Willow” is a part of the least exciting wing in Taylor’s musical library (ie: the part that isn’t crazed out through copium and/or severe neurosis), this bootlegged version was just cute enough to charm me.

Now of course, if your song is all about maintaining a certain level of delicate joie-de-vivre, it’s really important to not overdo the act and let the singer’s personal charisma carry it. Cue to the staging which looked like this:

What.

The.

Everlovin’.

Fuck?

There’s good staging and there is whatever the flyin’ fuck that was. Goodbye cutesie lounge vibe, goodbye charming performer, you’re completely overtaken by this overly choreographed, overtly dramatic and abrasive act that your song didn’t need. ONE dancer, NO acrobatics, how difficult is that to grasp, HRT? I’d be tempted to say the act was a cursed decision, but then realize Croatia’s frantic dance gremlins were probably the tipping point that allowed ~Systur~ into the finals, and any Eurovision final graced by those three earth angels has to count as a blessing. So thank you Mia for blessing us. ^_^

------------------------------------

23. GERMANY

Malik Harris - “Rockstars”

25th place

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Decade ranking: 45/79

[Above Tusse, below Undisclosed]

It is very common knowledge that nobody likes Rockstars, and fine, I don’t! As insipid as “Rockstars” was though, I don’t think it was completely without redeeming qualities.Malik had a baseline charm and really went for it, I guess.

The German Selection, which had adopted the very... um... optimistic name “Germany, 12 points” for the occasion, (optimistic even if we believe the conspiracy theory the “12 points” alluded to the total numerical amount ARD were aiming for in Turin <3) was one of the worst in a horrible NF season. I was fucking relieved it produced a winner I could (sadly no more than) vaguely enjoy. Not everyone has the panache of getting distracted by their own soap bubble bonanza.

Also, the SPOKEN WORD RAP BREAK was exactly what my brain and soul -both high on copium after the Alina Pash withdrawal- needed at the time. It didn’t blow me away or anything, but it at least gave me something tangible to cling onto besides “well this is nice, i guess”.

For the rest though, ::tumbleweeds::. I think people might have been a bit too bandwagon-y in their Malik Mockery cus like, yeah he’s clearly getting last, don’t make it worse? But then again... he brought very little to the table. Besides the spoken word it’s like... cursive singing (petition to rename this to “Cursed Singing”) and instruments displayed on moth-eaten rugs to get points, you know? It’s like Germany were deliberately telegraphing us to NOT vote for them, again. But that’s less on Malik and more on ARD’s incompetence, which is a discussion for another time.

-----------------------------------------------

22. NORTH MACEDONIA

Andrea - “Circles”

27th place

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youtube

Decade ranking: 44/79

[Above Malik, below Hurricane]

WE FINALLY MADE IT TO GREEN!!! Sadly we’re still in the No Man’s Land of VagueOpinionstan. 😣

There is *something* about Andrea and “Circles” that resonates well with me? Is it the perfectly mimed frustration with a poorly communicating love interest? Is it the palpable resignation on her face as she helplessly bleats “u don’t wanna test my limits -_-”.

Maybe! What I do know is that I stan the critical amount of pure Sadsack Energy Andrea exhudes from every pore. 😍😍 I think she’s a contender for the most morose, Eeyore-ish person to ever set a foot on a Eurovision stage? Reminder that this person won a selection <33333 Andrea posseses a sort of theoretical anti-charisma that should render her unvoteable, and yet in practice just has me cling to every word crossing her lips. ALL SHE WANTS IS A HEALTHY CONVERSATION SO SHE CAN GET IT RIGHT AND FIX THE SITUATION, YOU GHOULS!!!

(and yes, the other Bubble favourite of floordrop sorcery making an appearance <3)

But then on top of that, Andrea also became A Highly Controversial Pick for NoMac!!!! Strangely not because she was an out-and-proud lesbian (although, an out-and-proud lesbian representing a toxic homophobe country from the Balkans <3333333) but because..... she dropped a wee plastic flag during the turquoise carpet.

The toxic nationalists took it as HER DELIBERATELY TRAMPLING OUR MACEDONIAN PRIDE AFTER YEARS OF GREEK BULLYING. MRT even issued an official statement that they were CONSIDERING A WITHDRAWAL (with zero intention to actually quit of course) to appease the smooth-brained cunts until the quiet and expected NQ arrived. <3333333333

(knowing her misery was finally over, Andrea cracked a smile for the first time in her life <3)

This only enhanced Andrea’s Charlie Brown”-esque journey even more!! Just when Andrea looked like the token hapless last placer nobody loved, the results came in, and showed she *almost* made the final. 😍😍😍😍😍😍. If there’s one thing that horrible second semifinal should have done right and didn’t, is causing a NoMac qualification by means of fixed jury voting algorithms. Simply imagine the meltdowns over Andrea slaying Andromache AND Nadir. 😍 If only the EBU had the balls to NQ Azer on the spot, huh? Oh well, there’s always 2023 for that. 😈

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21. UKRAINE

Kalush Orchestra - “Stefania”

1st place

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youtube

Decade ranking: 41/79

[Above Fyr og Flamme, below Eden Alene]

ugh i forgot he yelled Mariupol and Azofstal at the end of that and wasn’t DQ’d on the spot! Instantly regretting I didn’t rank Ukraine even LOWER. 😫😫😫 (no, don’t think about how much better Stefania would be without him, don’t do it Bobo, consider your mental health -- inner monologue while writing the rest of this post.)

So yeah, after all this inconspicuous also-ran filler (i’m definitely including Snap in that group), I’m eliminating the winner, the biggest televote winner Eurovision have ever had. “Have you no respect, Boris?”, you might ask and well... would I be me, if I had any, lol? I came into the 2022 season with hot takes and mental fortitude and thanks to Shitvidi I’m all out of fortitude, so~

Cynicism and self-awareness aside, let’s get the big elephant out of the room: The war had virtually no impact on my ranking here. I despise politics at Eurovision, (mostly because politics always affect it, but Eurovision NEVER affects the politics back), so there are two options here: Either downvote Ukraine for bringing politics into the contest, or make an exception and turn a blind eye. I chose option two. Nobody can begrudge Ukraine for attempting to pretend that the worst armed conflict to have hit them since WW2 hadn’t broken them, so I won’t. No points added or deducted. .

I do have good reasons to not rank Stefania higher though. I think you already know where this is headed - Sorry (for YOU) if you’re a fan of his, but Oleh suuuuuucks. It started at Vidbir when he led a small mob against that poor envelope lady and it was all sorts of messed up? Entitlement and bullying tinged with toxic nationalism, there ain’t no better first impression to make, am i right?

And very unfortunately my distaste towards Oleh also extends to his on-stage presence which I find really fucking obnoxious. The concept of a “Charismatic Black Hole” was one I didn’t fully understand until I first saw Oleh Psiuk set a foot on stage. Does anyone TRULY like his presence here? All his verses do is distract from the chorus and instrumental, which is awful because those bits fucking slap! Airlift him and his ugly-ass hat the fuck outta here.

Okay, so the winning song is actually... pretty good. It is NOT great though. Stefania is a weaker, safer and more cis-het version of “Shum”, which is suboptimal. Counterpoint is that “Shum” was Peak Ukraine (Which is also Peak Eurovision), and remains one of the best entries ever, so a lesser replication of that is still enjoyable overall. It made Ihor Didenchuk (who is also in Go_A) a Eurovision laureate! It kinda sucks the fandom didn’t come through at a time when Ukraine had, you know, an actually charismatic lead, but I suppose the power of love Damiano-induced boners does conquer all.

On the flip side, Ihor’s and Tymofii’s contributions are so good that they almost fully balance Oleh’s deteriorative and hammy rapping. Tymofii carries Stefania with his spot-on chanting and preposterous flute playback shenanigans.

Ihor meanwhile just has a good time on the stage, disguised as one of the two Cousin It-like entities <3 Add in some tasteful staging and hell, even the fact that this song is in essence an ode to someone’s (You Know Who’s) actual mom, (and not the forced, cringe, jingoistic metaphor it later became) and you have an entry that definitely makes sense as a jury fourth placer and top fiver overall.

Now obviously, I would have preferred for Ukraine to not win because they were not the best option (not by a mile!), and ofc also because I hate their lead, but I’m not fully broken up that they beat my faves. Sometimes there are powers at work beyond our control and that’s fine. Not everything in life must be catered to our tastes. Ukraine are the best Eurovision country, and it doesn’t matter how or when they catch up to (and pass) Ireland and Sweden, as long as it happens during my lifespan. 🤷‍♀️

Still think Pinkbucket’s a thuggish little punk though. Prayer circle that the next time Ukraine win, it’s with someone actually worth stanning. 🙂

CONGRATULATIONS TOP 20!!!

ALBANIA - AUSTRIA - CZECH REP - ESTONIA - FRANCE -

GEORGIA - ICELAND - IRELAND - LITHUANIA - MALTA -

MOLDOVA - THE NETHERLANDS - PORTUGAL - ROMANIA - SAN MARINO -

SERBIA - SLOVENIA - SPAIN - SWEDEN - UK

THE RANKING

21. UKRAINE - Kalush Orchestra - “Stefania”

22. NORTH MACEDONIA - Andrea - “Circles”

23. GERMANY - Malik Harris - “Rockstars”

24. CROATIA - Mia Dimšić - “Guilty pleasure”

25. ARMENIA - Rosa Linn - “Snap”

26. CYPRUS - Andromache - “Ela”

27. LATVIA - Citi Zeni - “Eat your salad”

28. DENMARK - ReDDI - “The show”

29. BULGARIA - Intelligent Music Project - “Intention”

30. GREECE - Amanda Tenjford - “Die together”

31. POLAND - Ochman - “River”

32. MONTENEGRO - Vladana - “Breathe”

33. FINLAND - The Rasmus - "Jezebel"

34. BELGIUM - Jérémie Makiese - “Miss you”

35. NORWAY - Subwoolfer - “Give that wolf a banana”

36. AUSTRALIA - Sheldon Riley - “Not the same”

37. SWITZERLAND - Marius Bear - “Boys do cry”

38. AZERBAIJAN - Nadir Rustamli - “Fade to black”

39. ITALY - Mahmood & Blanco - “Brividi”

40. ISRAEL - Michael Ben David - “I.M”

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holdharmonysacred · 2 years

Text

Got inspired to make my own post even though it’s swinging at a hornet’s nest so:

The biggest problem with FE3H’s moral grayness, besides the game being extremely undercooked and the constant warping of the story for Self Insert Protagonist, is that the game gave itself a backstory of “All but a handful of the dragon people were horrifically murdered in a genocide and had their remains desecrated to make superpowers and superweapons”, and then refused to even attempt to really wrangle just what that backstory entails.

It is the original sin of the setting, it’s what drives Rhea’s actions the whole time, the entire cast of the game and their families has profited off of this worst of all crimes against humanity, Dimitri and Claude should both have reason to go “Excuse me, what the fuck?!” and start up the reparations process to Rhea and the lettuce family, while one of Edelgard’s biggest motivations for going to war is she hates the dragon people and does want to do a Genocide 2, Byleth the main protagonist is half-dragon person on their mom’s side, it should be the biggest thing the game revolves around once it gets going, and the game just

doesn’t give a shit

It just doesn’t care????????? It’s baffling, and concerning. The writers deadass wrote “Yeah the entire setting is founded on the murders of Rhea’s loved ones” and they just don’t give a shit that they wrote that. They put so much effort into going “Crests Bad”, for example, but they’re completely hung up on crests as a class thing and not, you know, crests being made from the stolen blood of genocide victims, and Edelgard’s route especially is hung up on “The solution to crests is to destroy crests and the dragon people they come from” (which hey game???? game?????? hello????? what the fuck??????). Nobody ever stops to point out that, yeah, they should get rid of crests, but they reason they should get rid of crests is they’re made from the stolen blood of genocide survivors, and removing these stolen crests and laying their associated relics and crest stones to rest is the first step in atoning for the horrors the cast’s ancestors inflicted upon the Nabateans.

Like, this just isn’t the kind of backstory you can go into Moral Gray(TM) without also going into some deeply troubling implications. The answer here is an extremely obvious “Crests in nobles is bad because they are a symbol of said nobles profiting off of the genocide of a race and the subsequent marginalization of the survivors, the answer to the problem of crests is not the further genocide and marginalization of said survivors”, no ifs ands or buts about it. You can waffle around with “Unfortunately the process of unfucking things is going to be long and hard because our society is built on profiting off of the horrors we’ve committed towards Rhea’s family, we have to start from scratch with our border defense and shit”, but at the end of the day crests gotta go in that specific way for that specific reason.

And the problem is that actually wrangling with that risks making the player feel bad, so the game just doesn’t even bother. The devs committed to Edelgard being a Turbo Racist, with them doubling down on that and her lust for conquest in 3Hopes, except also it would make the player feel bad if they had to actually deal with their waifu being a Turbo Racist, so they just sweep it all under a rug and let Edelgard never have to face consequences (or god forbid, a character arc) for her racism. The player might need those shiny powerful Heroe’s Relics to win fights good, so let’s just yeet right past the reveal of “The Heroe’s Relics are made from the bones of murder victims” and have none of the cast react to it so that the player doesn’t feel bad if they keep using the things. They don’t care that they’ve committed to “Rhea lied about where crests came from because she fears a Genocide 2 would happen if the truth came out”, because Rhea is just there to be a red herring in the first half and a macguffin/lore dump in the second half, and actually dealing with that backstory would require making Rhea a real character!

It’s messed up. It’s bananas. Why is this game like this??? How did they fuck up this bad??? Like, it’s weird when compared to past Fire Emblems, because last I checked the point of Roy and Eliwood’s games is “Racism against dragons is bad and humans have to atone for the crimes they did to the dragons”, which makes it so????? It makes it so weird that they completely failed to stick that landing again on this one. I need to go hunt down some Let’s Plays of the GBA games so I can get my sanity back by seeing games that handle this theme properly compared to this.

#throwing under a read more because otherwise the post will go on for miles

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