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forever-rogue · 1 year

Note

Javi and Dulzura taking the kids grocery shopping and Dulzura leaves Javi with the kids(maybe she takes the youngest with her in like a baby carrier cause that’s just cute) because she forgot something a couple isles over and someone tried flirting with Javi cause they’re thinking “oh hot single dad” but Dulzura shows up just in time and is like nope.

AN | Oh yeah, but no. No one messes with Javi when Dulzura is around! Can be read as a stand alone or part of the ‘verse! ❤️

Pairing | Javier x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2.7k

Masterlist | Main, Javier, A Good Man ‘Verse

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Javier!” you sighed as you looked through the fridge for a third time before turning back to the pantry and finding that it was just as empty as the fridge. This was definitely not good.

“What’s wrong, Dulzura?” he made his way into the kitchen, a smile on his face as he found you standing there with your hands on your hips, “I didn’t do it.”

“Oh? You don’t eat in this house anymore?” you snorted in amusement as you motioned for him to come closer. He raised an eyebrow as he came over and gave you a kiss, “we’re running dangerously low on groceries.”

“Uh oh,” he took a quick look through everything before groaning slightly, “we’re going to have to go to the store.”

“We have to go to the store,” you confirmed as a few shrieks of joy reached you from the living room, “and I think we’re going to have to take the gaggle with us.”

“The gaggle?” he couldn’t help but laugh as you nodded seriously.

“They’re like baby geese honking and running all over the place,” despite your best efforts you weren’t able to keep the smile off your face, “therefore they are our little gaggle of geese. And you’re Father Goose.”

“Does that make you Mother Goose?” he put a hand on your waist and pulled closer to his body, before wrapping you up in a tight hug.

“Nope,” you could feel him smiling against your lips, “I’m Queen Goose, and you’re all my loyal subjects.”

“And I would never dare to cross you,” he promised, taking a moment to kiss you properly, “do you think we’ll survive?”

“I can put Bella in her carrier and the others will be okay,” the two of you grimaced for a moment. It wasn’t that you didn’t love your children - you absolutely did, more than anything - but they were a lot. A whole lot, “they’re good kids. They’ll listen…they’ve been good before.”

“And we can incentivize with ice cream,” he suggested as you nodded.

“Like that was a question,” you grinned, “whatever it takes.”

“When should we go?”

“We’re going to have to feed them soon,” you playfully sighed, “unless you’ve got something else that you need to do first?”

“Never,” he pressed a kiss to the side of your head and that made you smile softly. He was always so tender and gentle with you, even after all these years, “you and the gaggle are always my number one priority.”

“Oh cielito,” you beamed at him, making his knees weak, “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” he promised, “now, let’s get everyone rounded up and get going. I have a feeling this is going to be quite an adventure.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Alright,” you and Javier jumped out of the car to quickly go over the game plan for grocery shopping. When you had a family of seven, planning was a must. It gave you some pause for a moment as you took in the scene in front of you. A large SUV filled with children and a hot husband that were all yours. You’d never imagined that this would be your life, even when you’d first started your relationship with Javier this was never anything you’d imagined. But you wouldn’t change a thing either.

“You have your list?” you asked as he pulled the paper with the groceries he was going to procure out of his pocket. You mirrored him and held up your list, “okay, I’ll start with the kids, and then we’ll meet in the middle and swap.”

“And you’re okay with taking Bella?”

“Yup - she’ll be strapped to my chest so she’s not going anymore,” you were very proud of your little plan, “but she’s also eight months old so she's not really going anywhere either way. You can get her next time.”

“Sounds like a deal, Dulzura,” he put his hand on your face and brushed his thumb over cheek, “you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you could hear the small giggles from inside the car. That alone made your heart soft, “let’s get this done so we can all get some ice cream.”

“Now that sounds perfect,” he opened the back door so the two of you could start getting the kids out. Lucia hopped out, along with Diego who was much more tactful than his older sister. They clambered over to Javi as you took Bella out of her car seat and into the carrier you had on your chest. She cooed happily as you got her settled before you each grabbed out one of the twins.

“Oh my little loves,” you grinned at them, trying to hold back your internal squeals. As they stood by Javi, you could see just how much they all seemed to take after him with their dark hair and soft eyes and bright smiles. You liked to joke that you did all the hard work with carrying them and birthing them and they betrayed you by taking after their father. Except for Bella who definitely took more after you. But you loved them all beyond words, “we are going to go grocery shopping so we can have food at home - and if you’re all good, we can go get ice cream afterwards and go to the park. What do you guys think?”

You were met with little cheers and bright smiles; alright - you had them reeled in.

“You’re going to go with your mamá,” Javier affectionately ruffled Lucia’s curls and then later on you’ll come with me. Si?”

“Si papá,” Lucia and Diego chirped happily as the twins nodded.

“Inside voices please and stay close, okay? And remember your manners,” you gave Javi a look and he silently responded. The two of you didn’t even have to verbalize conversations anymore, you were so in sync, “okay, let’s go then kiddos! And no running either, por favor!”

“Good luck, Dulzura,” Javi punctuated his statement with a kiss as you both grabbed shopping carts, “if you want to trade off early, just say the word.”

“You’re a good man, amor,” you whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” and he gave your bum a small pinch which made your eyes widen as you tried to quiet your giggles, “and that never gets old.”

“Javier.”

“See you soon,” with that, he took off towards the other end of the store to start on his list.

You shook your head with a fond smile as Bella babbled away, “your father is impossible, I swear. But luckily for all of you, you’re all so cute!”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your children were definitely small agents of chaos, but you had to admit that they definitely listened and listened well when asked to. One would think that Javier, former DEA agent Javier, would have been the more strict parent, but if anything, it was definitely you. Luckily, there weren’t many times you had to pull out the strict mom card too often.

"Mamá?" Diego was at your side as his sisters and brother were up ahead, excitedly looking at all the bright packaging on the shelves.

"Yes, my love?" You reached down and touched his little cheek, "everything alright?"

"Mhmm," he grabbed your hand with his much smaller one, "can we get cookies?"

"Cookies?" You playfully scoffed at him as he grinned at you shyly, "you want cookies?"

"Yes please," there came your favorite little gap toothed grin, "I like the oreos! Abuelo likes them too."

"Well I can't say no to you and abuelo," you put a hand on your heart, "we can get some cookies, but you have to share with everyone."

"Even with Bella?"

"Maybe not Bella," the baby in question was already asleep again, "but your other sisters and brother and papá."

"Okay," he nodded eagerly as he padded up ahead to where he could see the telltale blue packaging.

At the end of the aisle you saw Javier pop up and you felt yourself relaxing. He leaned against the cart and offered you a cheeky little wink accompanied by a wave. You stuck your tongue out in response as he shook his head fondly.

"Doing alright?" He asked when you made your way down the aisle.

"Not a single hair on their heads harmed, no missing kids, and no meltdowns," you grinned as the kids all studied the different types of oreos that were available, "I promised your son some oreos. Made a sucker right out of me."

"My son?"

"Yes," you confirmed fervently, "when he makes a sucker out of me, he's your son. Other times I will take half credit for him."

"What about the others?"

"They can be ours. But they're on thin ice!"

"You, Dulzura, are something else," he whispered before stealing a kiss. Lucia had gotten to the age where she called you both out for any sort of PDA. Diego was out at any age where he naturally agreed with his older sister. The twins were still young enough to be unbothered, "my turn?"

"Yes Daddy," you teased as his eyebrows shot up in amusement. It was your turn to wink at him as you herded the kids over to him, "all yours!"

"Two can play that game baby," you shrugged innocently, "I'll see you at the registers."

"See you soon!"

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were walking the rest of your half of the grocery store in peace, enjoying a few quiet moments to yourself. They were far and few in between - no complaints on your part - but nice when you got them. Bella remained sleepy, drifting in and out of a little nap, but that didn't stop you from speaking quietly to her. She was such a happy baby and so calm and sweet; she was more like Diego than her sisters and other brother. They were all unique in their own special ways.

"Alright mija," you grabbed the last of your fresh produce and set it in the cart, crossing the items off your list. You were finished now and even earlier than anticipated, "let's go see if papá needs help."

You made your way to the other end of the store, grabbing a few things that looked good on the way - going shopping when hungry was never a good idea.

You spotted Thea from around the corner and attempted to follow her to Javier when you heard him speaking to someone. It definitely wasn't one of the kids, so you wondered if it was someone you knew.

"Look at those curls," the voice was high pitched and screeching, causing you to cringe. This was definitely not someone you knew, "what beautiful children!"

"Thanks, I-"

"They're all so precious," well then, this was interesting if nothing else. You could just imagine Javier's face, "they look like you. What are their names?"

"I, ugh, ma'am-"

"I'm Lucia," you were giggling now, listening to your daughter speak up, "that's my sister Thea, that's Diego, and that's Santiago but we all call him Santi. We have a baby sister too, her name's Bella."

"You are just sweet as pie," you edged towards the end of the aisle to peek around, "and your daddy is just as sweet…and handsome!"

"Umm…"

"And to think, you're raising them on your own!" okay, now you were getting annoyed. She looked exactly like you imagined, box blonde with over the top makeup, too much plastic surgery and an outrageous outfit. And she had the audacity to flirt with your husband in front of your children! You looked at his hand and he was definitely wearing his wedding band, "you know there's something so attractive about a single father."

"I'm not-"

"I can't even imagine everything you have to go through," she put her manicured hand over her heart, "you know if you ever need anything-"

"Hello, my love!" You slapped on the biggest grin you could manage as you sauntered over to him. Relief flooded his features as soon as he saw, along with the heart eyes he always seemed to watch you, “I was looking for you! We got separated.”

“H-hey baby,” he sounded so thankful that it caused you to shoot him a quick wink, “glad you found us.”

“Me too,” you walked over and gave him a big kiss, careful not to squish the baby, “I hate being separated from you, even if its just for a few minutes. Oh, hello. And you are?”

“Millie,” her entire face fell as she looked you over. You could tell she wasn’t expecting a wife, let alone you, “y-you’re-”

“I’m his wife,” you confirmed with a sticky sweet smile, “and the mother of all of his children.”

“O-oh, I didn’t mean to…imply anything,” but yeah, you weren’t buying that for a moment.

“Oh? Well, he’s wearing a wedding ring and clearly not interested,” you were enjoying this a little too much, “but thank you for your comments on my children. They are very adorable and sweet. But we can handle them on our own, sweetie. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No,” and with that, she turned the corner and you could hear her high heels shuffling away. You let out a heavy sigh before turning back to face Javier. You weren’t quite sure what reaction you were supposed to be expecting, but it wasn’t the smug, proud expression he wore.

“What was that?” he asked, as he watched the kids look at everything on shelves. He took a step closer to you and put a hand on your hip and gave it a gentle squeeze, “Dulzura.”

“It wasn’t anything,” you replied simply with a shrug, “I was just making sure she knows who you belong to. And to stay away from my children.”

“You’re always sexy, you know that,” he whispered close to your ear, “you’re even sexier when you’re jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous,” you put your hand on his cheek and patted it playfully, “there’s nothing to be jealous of. You’re mine and everyone knows that. You know that.”

“I do,” he promised, “I am yours. I’ve always been yours, from the day we met.”

“Hmmm,” you mused as you pressed a kiss to his lips, “good man, Javier. I’m yours too, you know.”

“I know,” he growled as you smiled.

“Glad we’re on the same page,” you grinned, “if I ever see another woman try to make a move on you, I won’t be as nice. She caught me on a good day.”

“I doubt that’ll happen again-”

“I doubt that,” you insisted, “you’re fine as hell, Javier. Just because you refuse to see it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. You really don’t notice how all these women look at you, do you?”

“Nope,” he looked so proud of him, “because I’ve only got eyes for one woman.”

“You always know exactly what to say,” you sighed wistfully as you looked him over, “I am going to take care of you tonight, amor. Let me show you how much I love you.”

“Baby,” he groaned slightly at your insinuation, “I want to-”

“Papá!” Lucia waved at him from down the aisle, “come here!”

You laughed softly as he closed his eyes and let out a small groan. You gave him a quick kiss before nudging him towards his daughter.

“This isn’t finished,” he whispered to you as raised an eyebrow, “I mean it, Dulzura.”

“I’m counting on that, cielito.”

“Papá! Hurry!”

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x fem!reader #javier pena imagine #javier pena one shot #pedro pascal #agm #javi x dulzura #a good man

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muirmarie · 1 month

Text

mcspirk month mYEAR planning post

idk if anyone likes these (these being planning posts), but here, it feels weird to have it tucked away in my notes when my BTHB and mcspirk bingo planning posts are on here, so. anywho. you know the drill: this is just me rambling, feel free to ignore!!

the bolded are those i still don't have a plan for <3 - as per my usual these are all tos unless otherwise noted

Day 1: Forced Proximity (“this isn’t a blessing,” mccoy hisses. “one day,” the king says, ��you’ll see that is it.” - the one where spock and kirk cannot get more than an arm's length away from mccoy for 30 days w/o causing him debilitating pain)

Day 2: Touch-starved (spock and kirk cuddle mccoy out of touch starvation - this is like 75% done, I just need to finish it)

Day 3: Only One Bed (established mckirk to mcspirk. um. very nsfw. by far the most nsfw i’ve ever even considered writing lmao. currently sitting at almost 12k, probably will be around 15-17k all told. i don't even know how to describe this. kirk aggressively helping spock play gay chicken with mccoy until mccoy finally believes spock wants both of them, idk.)

Day 4: Hand Holding (maybe the one where spock & kirk slowly gaslight mccoy into holding hands with them - yes the tags are spones but i am very certain kirk would be very happy to gaslight mccoy into hand-holding as well)

Day 5: [hurt comfort or against a wall (no story planned)]

Day 6: Protective McCoy (no story planned)

Day 7: Hand Kink (the one where spock is cucked w/ hand sex lmao)

Day 8: Public Display of Affection (would you still love and/or employ me if i was a worm?)

Day 9: Spock is a Hopeless Romantic (the flirty spock one probably?)

Day 10: [Hands or a bonus (no story planned)]

Day 11: Fuck or Die (vulcan sex magic hanahaki, this is, like. I have elements of it, but it’s not nailed down yet quite how it works. it's a vulcan disease but naturally mccoy's the one who gets it.)

Day 12: Aliens Made them Do It (the plato’s stepchildren one - i've been poking at this one since. like. january lmao. it's maybe 30% done, but it's not gonna be super long, i'm just slow with it. it is. hm. not a fluffy story. the platonians decide that mccoy simply needs to learn to say yes to them. how helpful they have spock and kirk around to help underscore the point.)

Day 13: [time loop or sex in a three way body swap or a bonus (no story planned, BUT do I really wanna write another time loop fic and/or can I really handle writing another smut fic lmao. If I did do time loop tho it would be the one where Kirk refuses to leave the time loop until he can solve the no-win scenario, i just don’t know how that goes yet. The sex in a three way body swap would be the AOS mcspirkura one, probably. Or the tos spones to mcspirk one. idk idk.)]

Day 14: Tarsus IV (kirk: i always knew i’d die alone. this is....jim character study, i think? I do need to come up w/ a happy (or at least: not sad) ending for it tho. So I’m still Thinking about this one.)

Day 15: Fake Dating (the one where the royal is trying to marry mccoy in order to keep him, and spock and kirk independently decide to fake date him to save him. also sarek loves trashy romance books. background uhura/scotty.)

Day 16: Lost the Ability to Speak (bones and uhura signing in federation common sign language - yes that's vague but all i need is something to center around tbh)

Day 17: McCoy Hurt w/ Spock & Kirk Comfort (this is like 95% of what i write lmao but i don’t have a specific plot yet)

Day 18: [Jealous Bones OR Oral Fixation (no story planned but it it’s jealousy it’s not gonna be traditional jealousy, bc I’m generally not a fan of jealousy storylines (unless all parties are unaware that they’re jealous - those I find VERY funny)]

Day 19: [Kirk is Missing, Presumed Dead or a bonus - probably a bonus (no story planned)]

Day 20: Accidental Voyeurism (okay the one where mccoy wakes up and his arm is trapped underneath kirk’s head and spock’s holding that hand as he’s laying on top of kirk and making out with him. I will have to find a plot tho. a reason. a Reason. It’s not established spirk either)

Day 21: Bondage (heh established spirk discovering mccoy’s penchant for getting tied up and/or tying others up and then literally not able to shut up about their platonic friends private habits for like a solid three months. they only care platonically of course. you don’t need those other ppl to tie you up bones you’ve got us. this one’s about 10% started.)

Day 22: Mirrorverse (mirrorverse katra sharing, it’s a whole thing, this is out of my wheelhouse but i have some Ideas, but this one isn’t going to be anytime soon)

Day 23: [reunion or teasing or a bonus (no story planned) - *eta actually for teasing i could maybe do the one where spock conducts an "experiment" in a private lab where he has mccoy & kirk work on a project for him while he gets extremely handsy w/ them - he's doing a study ("study" - they're all aware this is just spock's ideal version of foreplay) about human arousal in a working environment, and they're supposed to not let him distract them*]

Day 24: Temporary Blindness (this is going to be such a long messy mccoy whump story tbh. orpheus and eurydice part two. before i can even really start it tho i have to decide on pov, because that….really affects things for this one. but i mostly know how the story goes. also not anytime soon tho, maybe not even this year)

Day 25: Praise Kink (i COULD go temporary awkward ability if i don’t want to write anything too sexy, but the planned version is, like, kirk blossoms like a bashful babe and spock is genuinely moved when it comes to praise, but mccoy turns bright red and wants them to stop? BUT they like so much the way he flushes and struggles to accept the praise that they ask him to be good for them because THEY like it, and so he’s absolutely mortified but still? allows it for them? and they of course like it because they want to make him accept it.)

Day 26: Expectations vs Reality (counseling fic! The one where spock and kirk are dating but still somehow drag mccoy to their relationship counseling.)

Day 27: Vacation Gone Awry (no story planned)

Day 28: Awkward Spock (checking for pulse over the liver instead of the wrist because he forgets where human hearts are when jim or leonard is hurt)

Day 29: Getting Interrupted (mcspirk sexy 3d chess - that’s right they’re interrupting mccoy’s WORK lmao)

Day 30: Desperate Measures (the enemy within one that’s 80% finished where kirk’s wolf and sheep sides both have to have sex w/ mccoy while spock melds with them both, all for very important science reasons - don’t worry about it.)

Day 31: Insecurity (*eta - mccoy gets out of a LDR and is bummed, and kirk tries to cheer him up by putting his name up for the underground "sexiest starfleet officer" bracket that scotty & uhura are running, to prove to mccoy that ppl find him attractive. unfortunately it turns out the crew finds him VERY attractive, kirk is having some jealously-related revelations, spock is gonna kill jim if he has to watch mccoy get asked out one more time, and mcco is yay close to having a nervous breakdown from being turned into a sex symbol*)

Bonus 1: nightmares (look this is fucked, just trust me this is a very messy thing and it is very fucked and i have to make all my maths fit together before i write it or it will feel too flimsy and fall apart, but. kirk's trapped in a nightmare by a parasite that bleeds into the waking world (there are reasons for it) that cause physical damage to mccoy. spock melds w/ kirk to try to change the dream. this has unexpected side effects. - this one WILL be written for mcspirk month i just don't know what day i'm replacing yet.)

Bonus 2: pet names (i think i might be able to fit the kiss me/fuck me fic into this prompt but i’m not 100% sure yet - aka the one where mccoy & kirk use “kiss me” as a SFW swear for “fuck me” and “don’t make me kiss you” as a SFW swear for “fuck you” and annoy everyone around them w/ this silly in joke until one time mccoy says “kiss me” w/o thinking to spock, and spock’s just. hmm. don’t mind if i do. and kirk thinks it’s so funny he starts kissing mccoy all the time as WELL. very pre-them even realizing they want a relationship (except for spock, spock has Plans, thank you). this will be written at SOME point, it depends if i need another bonus/if it fits the prompt enough.)

Other bonuses i’d consider if i need them, but no stories planned: blindfolds, misuse of the bond, uhura helps them out.

Other vague stories i have that i could rotate until they might fit a prompt: pacific rim au, space forgetties, [number]+1 of mccoy getting kissed awake/the +1 getting kissed to shut him up, spock going through the wringer re: mccoy getting hurt (that was written spones but could easily by mcspirk), empath era katra au, post-empath spock won't stop touching mccoy, katra transfer requires a kiss, this isn’t even all of them, it genuinely is absurd how many tag spirals i’ve written like this lmaoooo /sigh

#mine

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landwriter · 1 year

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Hello Mrs landwriter. Would you consider writing a continuation of your You've Got Mail Dreamling AU? I just stumbled across it and it's really very good and I am yearning for more. Much love to you 💖

part one for context. I would also like to take the opportunity to announce that despite my Advanced Internet Age of late twenties, I am scandalously unwed and unattached. any and all comers are welcome to pitch me for my hand in marriage in my askbox.

OP - thank you so much! I have plans to write a full You’ve Got Mail AU at some point but here is another scene, just for you! thanks for enabling me :)

---

“8 o’clock, boss, right on time,” said Matthew, as they stopped outside the cafe that was definitely gonna be Morpheus’ future Last Known Location. “This mystery penpal date is some real serial killer shit, man. You know? He could be anyone.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus, and turned to look at him with a terrifyingly smitten expression. “A mystery he may be, but he is still the single most charming person I have ever come in contact with. The way he writes of life. The stories he tells! His passion, his hunger, his wit. He could be a bike messenger, and I would be a madman to not turn my life upside down and marry him.”

Matthew felt the rare, exquisite discomfort of actually being the fuckin’ voice of reason in a situation. “You don’t even know what he looks like, boss. Marriage seems a bit, uh, full on? If you haven’t even swapped photos?”

Morpheus regarded him a little satisfied smirk. “We haven’t exchanged pictures of our faces, no.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said in disbelief. Morpheus just raised his eyebrows. “You slut! What is it with gay dudes and-”

“It would be tremendously unprofessional for my assistant to make generalizations about an entire population,” said Morpheus. He sniffed. “Also, he is bisexual.”

“Okay, okay, boss, he’s bisexual, my bad, how about the professionalism of dragging your assistant to your date with this mystery bisexual whose name you don’t even know?” He was, truth be told, pretty fuckin’ invested at this point, but if he could guilt Morpheus into a more generous Christmas bonus, he would. Shame was for suckers.

“You are here in your capacity as my friend,” said Morpheus. Oh, the cold-hearted asshole, invoking their friendship on a Nets game night.

“Then at least let me be homophobic!” he protested. A passerby glared at him. Tourists. “You only get to choose one, man. Loyal assistant or lovably brash bosom buddy, making the protagonist look like less of an-”

“Go on, then,” said Morpheus, heading off his loving insult and folding his arms expectantly.

“No, fuck, the moment is gone. It’s not the same if you give me permission, man. I’m taking an I-O-U for later. One homophobia, when you least expect it,” he said.

Morpheus, who actually did look like he might vomit from his nerves at any moment, at least rolled his eyes at that. That was something.

This was definitely a pep talk moment. God, he was shit at pep talks.

“Well, I’ve loyally delivered you to your fate, or date, or whatever, so, uh, have fun! Don’t get stabbed, text me how it goes, and remember: don’t let him take you to a second location. That’s how they get you, boss. Unless I’m in your will. Then totally do,” he said. He clapped Morpheus on the shoulder and added, in all his generosity of spirit, “Good luck, man. You’ve got this.”

Morpheus clapped a hand on his shoulder too. It stayed. It squeezed painfully tight. “Matthew. My best friend,” he said.

“Yeah?” he asked. This was not good. This was Big Favor shit coming on, he could smell it.

“Would you go and look for me?” asked Morpheus, in a rush.

“Me?” he asked, and thought That’s it? Morpheus had it bad. So, so bad.

“Yes. Just go look through the window and check him out. Please,” said Morpheus. His voice was edged with hysteria. Matthew thought he might actually start to vibrate apart.

“You’re pathetic, boss,” he said, cheerfully. “Also, that’s creepy as fuck.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus.

“Alright, alright bossman. I’m going. I’m looking. As your best friend.”

Morpheus nodded and sat himself down heavily on a nearby bench. It sounded like he was doing La Maze breathing.

He climbed the steps and, yes, very fuckin’ creepily peered through the window into the cafe. All groups and couples, definitely not Mystery Bisexual, except - there was a waiter taking an order from the table at the back. There was a closed book on the table. “Is he uh, supposed to have a book or something? You know, since you don’t know what his face looks like?” he asked, and didn’t even make the joke, excellent best friend that he was.

“Yes,” said Morpheus. “Yes, and?”

“And the waiter’s blocking him,” he said. “Wait, hold on, he’s moving-” The waiter left and he sucked in a breath.

“Well? Can you see him? Can you see him?”

“Uh,” he said, dumbly.

“Matthew, New York is an at-will employment state. Matthew. What do you see.”

“I can see him,” he said, slowly. Well, at least Morpheus wouldn’t get murdered by his date. Or he would, actually, but at least Matthew would be able to point the cops in the right direction.

“And?” Or - third possibility - Matthew would be the one murdered, by his own best friend.

“He’s, uh, he’s hot, boss.” He was. Nice smile, warm eyes, broad shoulders. The sort of approachable hot guy-ness that could make another guy wonder about sucking dick after a few drinks. Y’know. Theoretically.

“I knew it,” said Morpheus, triumphantly. “I knew it. I knew he would be, Matthew. He had to be. Had. To. Be.” He laughed in delight.

Matthew had never heard him sound happier in his life. It was fuckin’ unnerving. He felt like he was witnessing a Great White cavorting through the water like a dolphin. Felt wrong. Felt a bit too toothy. He took a moment to mourn his Christmas bonus, and then sighed and spoke again.

“Uh, boss, it’s just. He sort of looks like, uh, that Hob guy?”

“What, Hob Gadling with the little bookstore?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s hot, right?”

“Yes. I suppose. Absolutely. I don’t care about Hob Gadling. He’s irrelevant.”

Hoo-fuckin’-boy. Matthew grimaced.

“Boss, if you don’t like Hob Gadling, I can uh, I can promise you, you’re not gonna like your man with the book.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is Hob Gadling.”

#dreamling #the sandman #the sandman fanfic #dream of the endless #hob gadling #matthew the raven #my writing #you've got mail au #sry it's just comedy and not dreamling op but this scene is iconic and the first thing i thought of #asks #prompt fill #dream x hob

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orionchildofhades · 9 months

Text

steddie swapping soulmate au part 5

---

when he wakes once more, Eddie is back in his body.

he knows because he is not hurting. and thats something.

he shift in his bed, enjoying the lack of aches and thinking over the previous day.

now that his mind is not as hazy, he tries to put the informations he learned in order. he wants to keep everything in, and make sure he understands his soulmate.

for a second he lets himself dream of waking up in his soulmates bed once more. but with his soulmate. with this person, his person, by his side. and it's stupid because they are fifteen, and Eddie is sixteen and they probably won't meet until much later when they both, hopefully, would have moved out.

he frowns. he didn't learn much though.

they can't see well, and they have a big bed in a big room in what is probably a big house.

and that's it.

I mean, they're also sick but that's only temporary, he adds, unless it's not? maybe they have, like, some disease?

he panicks for a second, not sure to be able to just leave their soulmate alone at home while suffering, everyday at every hour, without even company

he breath a little, reminding himself that both of them will be fine and that there is pretty much nothing he can do at the moment.

but it's okay. it's alright because he knows he has a soulmate know and he can carefully plan their wedding while acting cool and collected on the outside.

all thoughts are cut off when Wayne barges into his room, in very un-Wayne fashion.

"Patricia?" Eddie asks, trying to come back to earth from his little daydream

"What? No, son, why didn't you tell me you swapped? I just read over Patricia's note!"

"Patricia met my soulmate?" he jumped out of bed and almost fell over the pile of book that was not there the previous day. or the day before that perhaps.

"Yeah, and barely said nothing about them! she wrote, and I quote, 'it seems to me that Eddie has a very nice soulmate and I hope I'll can spend the day with them sometime again soon'" Wayne said before looking up from the paper he held in one hand.

Eddie on the other hand was walking to his own desk where he looked for a couple of books, which were now in the pile by his bed, before coming back and checking more titles. he could swear the last one was at the bottom of his laundry basket last time he checked. which had been a while, admittedly.

"I think Patricia and my soulmate cleaned my room..." he told Wayne with big eyes, full of both wonder, and terror.

seeing how clean and peaceful his other half's room had been, he couldn't muster the will to wonder about what his soulmate thought of him and the mess - organised mess!- of his bedroom.

with something akin to pity and understanding behind his eyes, Wayne nodded once, "that's tough kid, but at least they made cookies?" he said with a shrug before leaving the room

it's only once Eddie got back in his room, done with mopping about being shamed in his own space, and his belly filled with the delicious cookies Patricia had baked, that he saw the small note on his bedside table.

he was thinking over the fact that his soulmate had cooked him something, relishing in the addition of the sweet taste of cinnamon in the usual recipe, before he made a go for the furniture and took with careful hands, almost worshipping, the tiny piece of paper.

sorry you had to go through my flu, I didn't touch under your bed (that's personal), I enjoyed spending the day with your aunt(?), until next time ;)

Eddie lets a squeal escape his lips before falling, swooning really, on his bed, clutching the thin layer of matter witholding so many of his emotions.

he couldn't wait to meet them, he only whishes he had a name to put on them

#patricia and steve making cookies together #wayne feels for eddie because he himself went through the same thing with Patricia #but she left a lengthy note for him after shifting the first time about how she'd keep cleaning even if he didn't #as the writer #i can tell you #Patricia needs to clean everything #her truck is the cleanest motherfucker on the road #she smells nice #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson #eddie x steve #orionwritesthingies

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hairstevington · 1 year

Text

Freaky Friday (Steddie's Version) - chapter 3!

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Steve goes to Hawkins High as Eddie, and Eddie goes to Family Video as Steve. Neither really goes as planned. Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3.8K, more chapters to come

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, slow burn, canon universe (more or less) set before season 4, me adding in lore than the show didn't touch on such as Eddie/Steve interactions pre-season 4, body swap, they are idiots, ANGST, revenge (attempted), POV switching

A/N: This is becoming one of my fav fics to write! Thanks to all who are following along and supporting me on Ao3! If any of you were on the Tumblr taglist then moved to Ao3, feel free to let me know. This goes for anybody who ever wants to be removed from the taglist lol, no hard feelings!

Steve woke up to the sound of an alarm at 6am on Friday morning. He couldn’t remember why at first, and reached over to hit the snooze button. When it went off again at 6:15, he groaned and rolled over to unplug the damn thing.

The previous night came back to him in a flash when he reached out a hand that didn’t belong to him. Oh. Right.

For a moment as he desperately clung to consciousness, he thought that the worst part of all of this might be having to wake up so early. Well, that and the crippling fear of what Eddie was going to do.

He got out of bed and looked at himself in the mirror. Yup. I’m still Munson. He fixed Eddie’s frizzy hair to the best of his ability, and wondered how it would look if he actually used the right products on it. He put on an outfit that mildly resembled Eddie’s usual style. Steve hoped that if he followed the rules and didn’t stir up trouble, Eddie would do the same.

He didn’t have a backpack or books or anything, but it didn’t really matter. Eddie never seemed to bring anything around school except his stupid black lunchbox.

He laughed to himself at the thought of that big, clunky thing Eddie carried around. Steve had seen the inside contents firsthand, and he was always shocked at how cavalier Eddie was about carrying drugs around with him all day. Like, the dude just took a whole lot of weed everywhere he went, sold it right outside of school property, and nobody really questioned it.

Most of the time, anyway. As Steve walked downstairs and grabbed a protein bar on his way out the door, he thought about the one time he’d been involved in Eddie’s dealing. Steve’s Junior year, not too long before he started seeing Nancy. Eddie’s Senior year - the first one, anyway.

“Where’s Tommy?” Eddie had asked when they met up at the picnic table. “He’s usually the one that meets me here.”

“Tommy’s out sick,” Steve responded. “You’re stuck with me today.” Eddie sighed as he sat down, putting the infamous giant metal lunchbox on the table and opening it to reveal quite literally the most marijuana Steve had ever seen in one place. His eyes went wide. “Jesus Christ, man. That’s, like -”

“Whaddya want, Harrington?” Eddie asked, his smile pained but pleasant. “Pick your poison.”

“Just give me whatever Tommy usually gets,” Steve answered. Eddie nodded and dug through his contraband as Steve took out a few bills and threw them on the table. Eddie caught a glimpse of the money and smirked. Steve had expected Eddie to give him change, but it was pretty evident that would not be happening the moment they’d started this interaction. “You’re being careful, right?”

“What the hell are you on about?” Eddie asked as he handed Steve the bag.

“I just mean, like. With selling. Couldn’t you go to jail or something?”

“Why the hell do you care?” he replied, growing agitated. “People don’t tell on me because if they did, they wouldn’t have anywhere else to buy this shit. So unless you’re going to run to the police, I think I’ll be okay.”

“Jesus, man. I’m just looking out for you,” Steve responded as he stood up.

“Since fucking when?” Eddie retorted. “You’ve never cared before.”

“I never bought from you before,” Steve replied. Eddie’s harsh words and combative nature hardly fazed Steve. It wasn’t too far off from how Tommy talked to him, and he’d gotten used to that years ago.

“I know what I’m doing,” Eddie insisted. “Rick and my dad have taught me well regarding the life of crime.” Steve responded without thinking - a habit that he was still trying to break.

“Isn’t your dad, like, in prison, though?” He regretted it as soon as he’d said it. He wished he could chase the words in the air and crush them, but they were already out and into the ether.

“We’re done here,” Eddie responded. He sounded tired and disappointed as opposed to angry. That was far worse.

So, Steve got what he needed and he left. Usually, that’s the full extent of what happens during a drug deal, but unfortunately Steve wasn’t so lucky that time.

He was taken out of his memory when the fresh air hit his face and went into his lungs. He really, really wanted a cigarette. He climbed into his car and for a moment wished it were Eddie’s, because there certainly would have been something to smoke in there. Steve’s car, however, was kept neat and drug-free. It was part of the agreement he had with his father about paying his car insurance. If Mr. Harrington caught so much as a hint of smoke in the car he’d so nicely provided his son, Steve lost all car privileges. And if Steve didn’t have a car, he pretty much didn’t have a life.

He had many reasons to quit smoking, and he’d finally gotten over the horrible cravings, and now here he was, fighting them yet again.

Fuck you, Munson.

He didn’t realize how weird it would feel to pull into the Hawkins High parking lot. Only a year prior was he in this parking lot with Nancy, thinking about college essays and graduation.

Seemed like forever ago. Steve hardly felt like the same person he was then.

Although, at the current moment, he was literally a different person, but that’s another story.

He sighed and headed into the school. It was still pretty early, but kids roamed the halls anyway. Steve stopped one of them - he didn’t recognize her, but she looked kind enough.

“Hey, so uh -” Her eyes widened at him in confusion with a hint of fear. At first he assumed it must have been the height difference. “If I needed another copy of my schedule, where would I go?”

“You don’t know your schedule yet?” she asked, still hesitant. “Did your brain finally melt from all the drugs?” Steve raised his eyebrows, shocked at the way she had casually insulted him.

“No, I just -” Steve paused. He had no other explanation for why he’d need a new schedule, so he let it go. “Do you know where I should go, or not?”

“Main office, bonehead.” She spun around and walked away, leaving Steve stunned.

Okay, so she wasn’t so kind after all. Steve was kind of shit at reading people.

He managed to get a copy of Eddie’s schedule (the woman at the front desk seemed equally as judgmental and suspicious, so Steve lied and said it was to give to his girlfriend. She didn’t seem to believe that either), and then headed to his first class before the bell rang. So far so good, he figured.

But then class started, and Steve remembered how much he hated school. He sat and pretended to listen to the teacher until the forty minutes were up.

There was a quiz in math next period, but thankfully Steve actually knew what he was doing. Math was something he understood relatively well. It was easier for him than the other subjects, at least. Plus, since he’d started hanging out with Dustin, he’d gotten a lot more booksmart just through, like, osmosis or something. For example, he knew the word osmosis.

Nobody really talked to him in class, but maybe that was for the best. Steve wasn’t really much of an actor, and he didn’t know Eddie well enough to accurately impersonate him. Plus, when people did interact with him, they were usually just calling him a freak or whatever, even though Steve wasn’t doing anything. People shit on Eddie just for existing.

The day went by swiftly and with relatively little issue - that was, until lunch.

At least Steve knew Eddie enough to remember where he sat - the Hellfire table, with the other freaks. Eddie was walking on tables and making a scene like twice a week, talking about the same shit over and over to his little sheep who always listened intently to his ramblings.

Steve always wondered why the people at the table seemed to encourage his behavior. Mostly they ignored it, but there were always a few who seemed impressed. The young kids.

Steve couldn’t believe Dustin had become one of the sheep.

He loved Dustin, obviously. He’d do anything for Dustin, and yet - Dustin was in a new phase of his life. High school. Damn. Those were prime identity years for Steve. He wasn’t sure how much Dustin would change, or which clique he’d be adopted into. When he heard that Hellfire had adopted him after Day 1, Steve was kind of disappointed, just because he never saw the appeal of that club or the people in it. Especially Eddie.

And now, Eddie was leaving his own mark on Dustin, and Steve couldn’t do anything about it but watch from afar.

Until now, he guessed.

Steve went to the Hellfire table and sat down at the head of it - that’s where Eddie always sat. Various people were gathered around already, most of whom he didn’t recognize. Mike was there, but they didn’t really look at each other. He still didn’t like Steve that much, but he was a kid - Steve didn’t take it too personally. Dustin joined them a few minutes later, actively avoiding eye contact as well. That was far more personal, and Steve wasn’t gonna stand by and let it happen.

“Dustin, you doing alright, man?” he asked. Dustin looked over at Steve (Eddie) and nodded.

“Yeah,” he responded. He seemed…embarrassed? “I’m sorry for yelling at you guys yesterday.”

Oh. So Dustin wasn’t angry at him anymore, he was angry at himself. Does he know Eddie and I went back to the plant yet??

“It’s all good, I get it. I’m sorry, too.”

“For what?” Dustin asked, confused.

“For, uh - overstepping, I guess,” Steve answered.

“Munson, did you just apologize for something?” another person at the table asked. Steve turned to see someone he thought he knew, but couldn't place his name. “This is a first.”

Shit. Wait, does Eddie really never apologize? Figures -

“He’s always had a soft spot for Henderson,” another student added.

“You weren’t overstepping, Eddie,” Dustin continued, ignoring the comments from the others. “I just wanted -”

“We don’t have to harp on it,” Steve interrupted. Hey, at least I’m crushing the thing Eddie does where he never lets people finish a thought. “Let’s just forget it.”

“Thanks,” Dustin said. “And it seems like you survived the night despite having to be civil with Steve for ten minutes.” Yeah, ten minutes. If only.

“I wasn’t sure for a minute there, but yeah. We made it through.”

Steve kept to himself the rest of lunch, occasionally chatting with Dustin or Gareth - that was the one dude’s name. Apparently, there was band practice on Saturday. Steve had no idea Corroded Coffin was still together.

He thought he was doing alright, all things considered. He almost believed he’d make it through the whole day undetected.

How foolish of him.

___________________________________

Dustin was first clued in that something was wrong when he heard that Eddie had showed up in a car other than his infamous van. Since Dustin was always one to ride the curiosity voyage, he’d gone out to the parking lot between periods to see for himself.

Eddie’s van wasn’t there. A totally different, unrecognizable car was parked in his place. That was weird in itself - Eddie always took that spot, and he didn’t have access to any other cars. Dustin shrugged and started walking back to the school, and that’s when he noticed something even weirder.

Steve’s car.

Dustin rationalized it as best as he could. Maybe Steve lent Robin the car, even though she didn’t have her license yet. Seemed improbable, but possible. Eddie could have stolen Steve’s car for the day. That one was more likely, but then why wasn't it in the right parking spot?

Lunch gave him even more information.

Eddie was nice to Dustin, sure. But he wasn’t that nice. He still teased Dustin in a way that made him feel praised, somehow. Like - way to go, buddy. You’re a weirdo like me. And Gareth was right, Eddie never apologized.

But Dustin knew someone who did.

At lunch, Eddie didn’t seem to know anything about Dungeons and Dragons, and he was quiet. Like, way too quiet. Mike talked about Lucas joining the basketball team, and Eddie didn’t give his usual tirade about how sports teams are poisoning the school. Instead, he was supportive. He also didn’t remember that band practice was the next day, and Corroded Coffin had band practice every Saturday without fail.

Dustin thought at first that maybe, Eddie had just been crazy high off something. Something that Dustin hadn’t seen him on before. In any case, there was definitely something he was keeping secret about the night prior with Steve. Dustin just had no idea what.

The mystery continued to unfold right after the final bell of the day, when the stupid bullies approached Dustin yet again. He rolled his eyes at their arrival.

“What now, you imbeciles?” Dustin asked, passively. He’d tried several ways to fight back in the past, and nothing really worked, but he knew that the best way to get a bully to lose interest is to pretend he didn’t care.

“Look who’s all tough,” Chad grinned devilishly. “Are you waiting on your guardians to show up and save you again?”

“What?” Dustin didn’t know how they knew about that.

“Harrington and the Freak,” Chad answered. “They tried to give us a good scare last night.”

“They did?” Dustin asked, his heart sinking.

“What, like you didn’t ask them to?”

“Actually, I specifically asked them not to,” Dustin sighed. Those idiots. Chad and his buddies circled around Dustin, trapping him against the wall with no escape in sight. One of them looked in the distance and rolled his eyes.

“Speak of the devil,” he said. The group all turned towards his gaze to see Eddie strolling straight towards them, a somehow casual fury in his eyes. Eddie’s anger was usually a lot more intense and frazzled. This was more like a guy who’d had enough. A guy who’d seen some shit far worse than bullying and was now unfazed by high school drama.

Eddie approached the circle and wiggled his way in until he was face to face with Chad.

“What do you want, Munson?” he asked.

“I told you. Leave the kid alone, or else,” he replied.

“Or else, what? Are you gonna curse me or something?” The group laughed. Everyone thought they were so smart, making the same jokes about Eddie. Angry, unhinged Eddie who Dustin had seen carefully and quietly work on campaigns on multiple occasions. He only acted crazy when he had an audience.

“If that’s what it takes,” Eddie shrugged. “Or I could, you know, tell everyone about the time you threw up all over Stacy Williams at the New Years party.” Chad’s eyes widened.

“How do you even know about that?” Eddie smirked, then continued.

“Right place, right time I guess. I mean, I was at least in a better place than Stacy Williams that night -”

“Okay fine, I’ll leave him alone,” Chad said. Eddie let go of the guy and took a step back, triumphant. Chad recovered, then delivered one final, unoriginal blow. “Freak.” Spit flew out of his mouth as he said the word. Chad was the worst, and nobody liked him anyway. He walked off with his minions, pathetically defeated.

“Sorry, Dustin. I know you didn’t want me to -”

“It’s okay. Thanks,” Dustin replied. “I think he might actually lay off now.”

“Cool,” his friend said with a smile. He turned to leave, but Dustin only let him get a step or two before calling out to him.

Dustin had heard the story about Chad and Stacy before, and he knew who had told it to him.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” His friend turned back to Dustin nonchalantly, before his eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”

“I knew it. Tell me everything.”

______________________________________

Eddie slept in until noon, a luxury he usually didn’t have on Fridays. Well, he used to sleep in until noon on Fridays a lot, but then he didn’t graduate.

This time, however, he could sleep guilt-free, knowing that Steve’s shift wasn’t until 12:30. With a full night’s rest under his belt, he felt a bit more at peace about the whole situation, somehow.

Maybe it was because, out of the two of them, Eddie had a much better deal than Steve.

He wondered how school was going, and if Steve had gotten a taste of his own medicine. Maybe having to experience constant bullying would make him understand how much of an asshole he’d been. One could only hope.

Eddie climbed out of bed, chose the least offensive outfit he owned (plain black t-shirt and black jeans), put the green vest on (he far preferred his Dio one), and headed out the door. He hadn’t even looked in the mirror or anything. He avoided it on purpose. But, alas, he caught his reflection in the rearview mirror of his van as he backed out of Forest Hills, and that’s when he realized he’d left Steve’s hair a fucking mess.

Seriously, not once had Steve’s hair ever looked like this. Eddie didn’t even know it could look like this. It was…really bad??? How much time did Steve invest in making this shit look good every day? What the hell??

Eddie started to realize why Steve had been so upset the night before about the conditioner thing.

Even though it wasn’t his hair, technically, and any embarrassment Eddie faced today would have zero consequences, he took a minute to make it look somewhat decent. He wanted to screw Harrington over, of course, but he also wanted to see what a normal day was like for someone like Steve.

He’d cause chaos in other ways, he promised himself.

He pulled into Family Video, feeling relatively confident as he walked in. How hard could it be, right? It was just movies. Eddie watched a lot of movies. He’d make sure Steve kept his job - that was the deal. He didn’t want to keep up his end of the bargain, but he was scared of what Steve would do in retaliation.

School and job must stay intact. Non-negotiable. But everything else was fair game.

“You’re late, Harrington,” Keith said as Eddie walked in. He looked at his watch - it was 12:31.

“Barely,” he responded before regretting it. Fuck. I’m bad at this.

“Watch it,” Keith warned. Eddie quickly backed off and headed behind the counter. He wasn’t sure what else there was to do other than handle customers. He figured if Keith wanted him to do something else, he’d say something.

Nobody came in for the first half hour. Eddie was bored. He thought about asking Keith if he could watch one of the movies, then shut that thought down before it left his lips. He wished he’d brought a book. How the hell did Harrington survive this job when it was so dull?? He wondered if having Robin around made it more bearable. She was due to show up after school around 3pm.

He felt a major reprieve when Keith asked him to put the returns back to their rightful spots on the shelves. It gave him something to do, and he was so excited to be doing something that he got it done in record-breaking time, apparently.

“All set,” Eddie had said once he’d put the last tape on the shelf. Keith eyed him suspiciously.

“Really?” he asked. Eddie nodded. “That was fast. Did you just put them all in random spots again?” Jesus Christ. I’m surprised Harrington hasn’t lost this job all by himself.

“No, they’re all in the right place. You can check if you want.” Eddie knew they were all correct, because he’d been in this store so many damn times. He probably knew it better than Steve. No, he definitely knew it better than Steve.

Keith double checked a few rows before he believed Eddie’s words. He nodded, clearly impressed.

Then, a customer came in - someone he knew. Rick.

“Hey, man!” Eddie greeted him without thinking about it.

Rick, or “Reefer Rick,” was the guy that got Eddie into the whole dealing thing. He was Eddie’s supplier, and he was a good friend. Well, he was a friend anyway.

“Hey…” Rick responded, confused at “Steve’s” enthusiasm.

“Cheech and Chong, right?” Eddie asked, knowing that was Rick’s usual. “We just got it back so it’s actually right here.” Rick looked impressed that an employee remembered him, but Eddie knew for a fact he was a regular here, and his appearance was kind of hard to forget.

He rang him out. He probably did it wrong on the computer, but whatever.

“Have a good day, man,” Rick said as he left.

A woman came in after that, looking for something to watch with her boyfriend. Eddie rambled on about a few titles, asking her about the boyfriend and what he liked, then what she liked, before providing multiple recommendations and his reasoning behind them. She chose one, rented it, and left the store.

Damn. I’m actually really good at this shit. Eddie wondered if he’d found his calling. He deserved this job way more than Harrington.

“Steve,” Keith called from the back room, where he’d been doing paperwork and rewinding tapes. “What’s gotten into you today?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked.

“I mean,” Keith continued. “You’re staying busy instead of slacking off. You’re remembering customers, and you didn’t hit on that girl at all like you usually would. You even gave her a really good recommendation. I thought you didn’t know anything about Star Wars?”

Seriously, how the hell has Harrington not been fired yet? Eddie also took note of Steve not knowing about Star Wars, which may have been his worst offense yet, in Eddie’s eyes.

“Yeah, well. I’m really trying,” Eddie responded. He wasn’t, really. This job was stupid easy. But also, he was doing it, because that was the deal.

“Keep up the good work,” Keith said. “If you do, I’ll start letting you pick your shifts.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. He loved praise. He loved being told he was doing well, it just didn’t happen much outside of Hellfire.

“Noted. Thanks,” he replied.

And then it hit him - Eddie had set out to ruin Steve’s life, and instead he got him a promotion. Fuck. I’m really bad at this whole revenge thing.

(next chapter)

______________________________________

@thegoatscoat @ao3screenshots @stevessluttywaist @tartarusfairy @croatoan-like-its-hot @mightbeasleep @ofherscarlettwitchways @paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay@stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @gregre369 @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @Dang_Dirty_Demons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence

#steddie #steddie fic #freaky friday steddie's version #eddie munson #steve harrington #st fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie and steve #steve harrington x eddie munson

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hugsandchaos · 9 months

Text

Just incase; Neo is Swap N, T is Swap Thad, K is Swap Khan, and U is Swap Uzi (might change it to Z or U-Z)

Neo yawned and stretched all four of his limbs out, making sure to move his legs at a downward angle so he wouldn’t push the floor or hit what he assumed was once the controls of the pod. He let himself slump down in the chair for a quick second before blinking and sitting back up, refocusing on the task at hand. Looking at his history book, Neo struggled for a second to figure out where he was before he caught himself drifting off to sleep.

Once he found it again, he forced his tired mind to focus on the contents and propped his head on his left hand. It felt like his brain was turning into mush with how tired he was.

At first, Neo tried to just absorb the words, then understand the sentences. He’s spent multiple years staying up late studying, and the only difference now was where he was, which was inside the pod belonging to his murder drone friends, T, K, and U.

Neo decided to give studying here a try, to see if the cold would help keep himself awake while studying. It did, but it also made a small part of his mind, the part that humans refer to as the “unconscious” part of the mind since things would go on without realizing, think of going back to the bunker to get nice and cozy under his blanket in his bed and finally letting go of every last bit of stress Neo felt. As the night progressed to 11:23PM, he grew more and more tired and the thought grew more tempting. At least the howling wind made for some nice background sounds.

“Neo?” T piped up.

Neo was startled into wakefulness and shot his head up, not realizing he was beginning to fall back asleep again. He looked over at U’s squad mate, T, who was by far probably the chillest drone Neo has ever met. He was surprisingly okay with the new change of plans, mostly because he didn’t want to keep killing and instead wanted to be able to play with multiple drones.

He looked a little concerned and very confused as he looked at Neo from the doorway.“What are you doing up? I thought worker drones slept at this hour.” T asked. He wiped the oil off his face, presumably from a disembodied arm or some other dead worker drone part. They could get oil just fine from those. For a few seconds, Neo’s head felt slightly less like confused mush.”Unless they cover night shifts or they’re just busy.” Neo replied with a light chuckle.

He turned back to his book and the “confused mush” feeling came back.“Aren’t you tired?” T asked. Neo shrugged and went to the next paragraph, not paying much attention to his friend, which was very unlike himself. But he needed to study.

Just because he’s one step closer to annihilating the human race doesn’t mean he can slack off. Especially if he didn’t want to give pretty much everyone in the colony another reason to dislike him.“Not the first all-nighter I’ve pulled, and something tells me it won’t be the last.” Neo silently brushed his concerns off and tried to go back to studying, but T wasn’t going to give up.

He walked over to the chair his worker drone friend was sitting in and put a hand on the back of the chair.“Come on, let’s put the books away and get you back to the bunker, you look exhausted.” T said. Neo didn’t even look up from the texts he could barely focus on with how exhausted he felt.”No.” He said, sounding just as tired and frustrated as he felt without realizing. He didn’t notice, though.

T stared at him surprised for a bit, not having heard that tone from him before, but pulled himself back together really quickly and opened his mouth to speak again as Neo struggled to keep his eyes open and stay focused.“One more question; When’s the last time you slept?” T asked. That question made Neo stop reading and sit up. He hasn’t thought much about the fact that sometimes his visor shows what humans call “bags under the eyes”, which is a sign of lack of sleep.

T waited for an answer, but it was pretty clear by the ten seconds of thinking that the answer was too long.“Uhh, two nights ago maybe? I think I got around 3 hours of sleep? Doesn’t matter.” He said, waving dismissively at the end of his response. He once again tried to focus on the texts, but his chair was suddenly turned around.“That’s it.” T said. He grabbed his short friend and picked him up like he was a doll, but being picked up wasn’t what woke Neo up.

When T picked him up, he scooped him up underneath his arms, which for a split second reminded Neo of those few times he was tickled in the past. He was always more tickle-sensitive than most worker drones, even now, but tickling isn’t exactly an activity for worker drones since so few are actually ticklish. Neo tensed up for a second, pulling his legs and arms up in defense. He calmed back down just as quickly when he realized that this was not going to turn into a game and remembered that he had to get back to studying.

Judging by T’s confused expression, though, it might be a bit too late.

“Wait a minute...” He muttered. He squinted his eyes at Neo, who was getting a little nervous. T gave him a gentle squeeze, making him almost laugh, but Neo refused to let himself do that and it only came out as a muffled snicker. T tilted his head slightly in confusion and raised an eyebrow, but then his eyes widened in realization and his face lit up.”No way!” He exclaimed in disbelief. He began tickling Neo under the arms, which got him laughing and kicking in only a few seconds.

“Wahahahahait! Teeheehee! Nohohohoho!” He laughed. T grinned mischievously and kept him in the air as he tickled him. No ground equals no traction, and no traction equals no chance of running away. Not that T wouldn’t be able to catch up to him. He just didn’t want to chance it.

T used his tail to hold Neo’s legs in place so he wouldn’t kick him and smiled.”Since when are you ticklish?” T asked. Before Neo could respond, U came sprinting into the pod.”What’s this I hear about Neo being ticklish?!” She asked, jumping onto a box like a gremlin.

Neo once helped T tickle her to cheer her up, but they assumed he wasn’t ticklish since as far as they know, worker drones aren’t ticklish. So if she could get her revenge by giving him the same treatment she was put through, there was no way she wouldn’t pass that chance up, and both T and Neo knew that.

“Ihihihi am nohohot!” Neo lied. U grinned mischievously and walked up to them.

“Oh, really? Then this won’t bother you?” U asked, joining in on the attack and going for his belly.”NOHOHOHOHO!! HAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Neo laughed. T raised an eyebrow and jerked his head downwards to signal U to help him set Neo on the ground.

T unwrapped his tail from around Neo’s legs and the two sat down, still not letting up on their attack. T was able to grab both of Neo’s wrists and keep his arms up.”We’re going to keep doing this until you agree to get some sleep.” He said, using his hands to tickle Neo. U looked at him almost offended and stopped helping T .“Wait, what? But I want my revenge!” She complained.

“He hasn’t slept in two days. I’m just doing this to tire him out.” T explained. U blinked and looked at Neo in slight disbelief.”Juhuhust lehet mehehehe wohohork!” He said, but neither were about to do that.

Not when he had been coming by and staying for quite some time to work on the pod.“You know what? Your plan is better, T.” U agreed. She moved Neo’s coat just enough to expose his belly and took in a deep breath. Neo squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself, but he was ultimately unprepared. It tickled a lot more than he thought it would.”HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!” He tried again to escape, but given how much stronger his disassembly drone friends were, he had no chance of escaping. Except for one, but he wasn’t going to give in. He had work to do, no matter how tired he is or how much it tickled.”STOHOHOHOHOP!!” He said. U blew another raspberry and briefly sent him back into hysterics.

T shook his head.”There’s only one way out, Neo. Just agree to go to sleep and we’ll stop.” He said, but the worker drone still refused.”Okay, we don’t mind carrying this out for a while.” T said.

“ALRIHIHIGHT!!! IHIHI GIHIHIVE UP!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!” Neo finally surrendered after three minutes and his friends immediately stopped and let go. Neo slumped onto the floor to catch his breath and T chuckled.”Maybe we went a bit too far?” He asked, not sure if it was them or Neo who had pushed him to this point of exhaustion. U shook her head.”I think he’s fine.” She said.

It took them ten minutes to realize Neo had fallen asleep on the floor and two more to find a tarp that could be used as a sleeping bag for him.

#murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones thad #murder drones uzi #md uzi #md n #md Thad #swap murder drones #murder drones swap uzi #murder drones swap n #murder drones swap au #murder drones swap Thad #murder drones tickles

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diona-98 · 3 months

Note

*deepest inhale in the land of deep inhales*

Okay so basically, theres this small little AU called Heartslost. This girl was born, but her powers were deemed wicked and unholy by the villages, and she was banished to a part of the Earth. This part has one way barriers, once you go in you cant come out. Unless of course, you have the power of 7 human souls.

The young girl uses her powers to create life. She first creates Ink, who uh.. turns out soulless. He kinda leaves out. She then creates Error, because Ink is a little bit of a danger and someone needs to keep him in check. After? She creates Blue, Frisk, and Chara.

Wait.. isnt making humans overpowered!? Couldn't she just make the human souls!? Well.. no. She can only make psuedo souls, which are the same strength as monster souls.

Continuing, Frisk is a ghost who kinda just.. vibes with Chara. And Blue? Well he grows close to the girl, almost like a brother.

She decided to make only a few more creations. Dream, and Nightmare. The whole "nightmare eats black apple thing" still happens, but like.. theres no bullies really? He does get a bit bullied but not that severe. ITS FRICKIN' ADAM AND EVE??? HOW DID YOU GET IN THIS STORY??? Basically one of Nightmare's "friends" tricks him into eating one.

Dw tho, he's still chill. Just even more emo now.

Okay you're probably getting tired of me setting this AU up, so basically this girl named Olivia (Soul; Courage) gets stuck, has a little ghost pal following her, befriends everyone, and frees them.

Oh and also Blue helped the girl come up with a name. And that name is Afta.

Afta and her creations are free, and Olivia is their ambassador. Afta reunites with one of her birth family members too! Her brother, who also had a "curse" but it didnt happen until way later in his life and he could hide it.

OKAY WOOOO THATS OVER WITH.

NOW WE CAN GET INTO THE MULTIVERSE- OH SHOOT MORE BACKSTORY.

I'll make it short! Or try..

Basically theres a glitch in a copy of Heartslost, and Afta has been replaced. The new person quickly gets corrupted though. Went through torture, blah blah blah, lost their whole AU. Seeks vengeance.

So? They use an abandoned AU from the multiverse over. Including Ink, Error, Dream, Nightmare, Blue, Dust, Killer, Cross, Horror, Lust, Classic, and Fell. And maybe a few more. They play around with corrupting it, before abandoning the project. They did a hard reset on everything, leaving the experiment rewritten.

Then, their plan was inacted. They corrupted an au known as Sweetsverse. They also went around and corrupted a few more.

Okay now I'm getting tired so I'll just give a run down.

The corrupted person, Ochita, went around corrupting AUs. They eventually corrupted Heartslost, leaving Afta corrupted. Though the building resistance had found a way to fix them. Basically, you just split it. Two versions, the uncorrupted and the corrupted version.

Though none were powerful enough to do this. So they had to summon a third deliverer. These deliverers bring the messages of above. The third deliverer, Okita, managed to fix the AUs using this method. This summoned a new ally, Invert, a corrupted Afta.

Yadda yadda, Ochita corrupted more aus, oh also so many lesbians. Eventually though, one Afta knew what to do. Dessert, aka Swap!Afta. They had once been friends with Ochita. And they knew who they had to contact.

There were test versions for the Afta AUs. And their leader, Lav, aka Test Dessert, was pretty powerful. The two did a little thingy thing and fused. Eventually, the battle with Ochita came to an end, The fusion stabbed, and killed them.

And.. that's the end. Of Gen 1. Theres 2 more wars, both separated by gens. Gen 2 and Gen 3 are next. BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE STILL CURIOUS!!

I managed to get my half sleepy eyes to read this, unfortunately i couldnt read the multiverse part since im tired now

Ill make sure to read this in the morning (well, if i even remember it)

But over all, great au, love it already, oh and i hope you have a great day

#ask diona #diona moots

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fandoms-in-law · 5 months

Text

Different Lives

Summary: Prince Steve is being forced to go to camp by the king in an attempt to make him learn his duties. Eddie has been talked into going to camp by his band. What happens when their camp places are reversed.

Authors Note: I think this is the longest fic I've written in one day for a while. My brain is tired and you're lucky I didn't just write out conversations with no tags or indications over who was speaking cause that's how todays started off being. I could've left the camp leaders the same as in the film, yes, but Jason being trapped in the same way clive was in the film was just too funny to miss

/\/\

Steve had always expected that going to summer camp would be fun. In all the films and stories it was a reward or adventure for the kids, a good thing in the views of all children. As his mother explained going to Camp Royalty it definitely didn't sound like a good thing.“We just think this will be good for you Steve.”

“Don't coddle the boy, Alison. This camp will give you the skills to take to work and you will have to impress the people you work under because I'm not helping you more than that. This is your last chance to prove you are worthy of your title.” King Richard of course made it sound even worse than his mother had done and the only reason Steve wasn't arguing over going more was that he hoped being away from his parents he could actually make it enjoyable.

“Yes Mother and Father. I understand. I'm not going to disgrace the kingdom at summer camp.” The promise was one he'd recited a hundred times at least, practically every time he went anywhere he had to reassure them and usually still managed to fail in some way that never got explained.

“You better not.”

/\/\

It was kind of amusing to watch Gareth try to find an argument that would work. In all honesty that was the main reason Eddie wasn't already agreeing to going to Camp Rock.

“Eddie, we need a break man. Let's just try this Camp Rock and see what it's like, make friends with some new musicians.” Gareth complained. It was definitely the truth, even Eddie was feeling worn down and as if they needed more friends into music than the four of them.

Still he pointed at the calendar, and the other reason he wasn't accepting the idea immediately. Every time they changed plans and had to reschedule anything they pushed that onto him, claiming it was the front man's job to do, rather than one of theirs, or even Seymore's as their agent. “We've already booked tour dates for that week. Do you want to be in charge of rescheduling it all?!

Jeff snatched the calendar from his hands and replaced it with multiple envelopes that were clearly fan mail from the doodles on some of them. “I'll do it. Hell I bet some of our fans would thank us. There've been a few fan letters that ask if we're okay or mention how stressed our recent albums have seen.”

“Fine, fine. Guess I'm overruled. Just book the camp tickets. I'll be there.” The pout and crossed arms was easy to do, and Eddie hoped enough to get him some more leeway in what he took part in at camp.

/\/\

Steve could manage this. In fact it was better than anything he'd hoped would happen because at Camp Rock there was no Princess Nancy or her brother ready to let their parents and by connection his own anything he did that she didn't agree with. As soon as Barb offered to let him stay instead of fighting for a transfer unless Camp Royalty requested it he jumped at the choice but now he had to find a place with the Camp Rock kids and the two ladies entering the room he'd been directed to stay in.

“They're allowing mixed gender rooming now? Who are you? And why are you dressed so... so like a prat?” The first woman was immediately in his face, looking him up and down and clearly judging him.

“I'm Steve, a prince apparently caught in a system mix up which swapped my camp around.” It definitely wasn't the time to bow, or kiss her hand, but he hold his hand out to shake as he introduced himself.

While his hand was taken it was used to spin him around and carry on watching his expression. “You know what the normal people in your kingdom live like?” she asked.

“Planning to find out after camp. The King has dictated that I get a job and I'm going to do everything I can to ensure it's not one he decides. But before we carry on talking might I know the names of the lovely ladies I'm addressing?” The explanation was probably too much to share, but it at least seemed to pass whatever judgement had been directed at him

“I'm Robin, Vickie is the one still hovering in the doorway. Do you know when you have to go and save some tragic princess? Also why can't the princess be the one to save you?” Laughing at the questions was easy. Steve had heard that a lot of working people, even up to the Lords and Ladies that sometimes visited believed the fairytales were actually true.

Now he shallowly bowed, marking Robin his equal if she knew anything about bowing etiquette. “Delighted to make your acquaintance. Also, those are myths and I think the media prefer to twist any story so the man is the hero. It's annoying. Princess Nancy is far more likely to save someone than I or the commoner she's recently made the acquaintance of.” The formalities felt stilted but necessary, especially given how unusual and uncomfortable he was to realise he was indeed staying in the same room as these girls. It was a situation he'd always been warned against allowing to happen.

“Dingus, we're going to have to get those manners dropped and quick. Come gossip. Vickie, get over here and join in.” Robin used the hand she'd never dropped to drag him over to one of the beds, hand waving rapidly to beckon Vickie over.

/\/\

So far Eddie thought Lady Chrissy was pretty cool but Jason was definitely a social climbing creep to some degree. He also wondered if he could convince Gareth to book there next trip to camp to be for Camp Royalty to deliberately cause chaos here. The other campers his age had all turned away from him or iced him out of their conversations when they weren't acting too good to look where they're going and frankly Eddie would be calling them out on it if he wasn't definitely outnumbered.

Now there was another possible issue considering the room he'd been directed two had quite definitely got two children already settled as if it was their own room. Eddie might not have been to camp before but he was pretty sure they usually separated the kids and teens by age range.

“Are you sure Will is going to DM for us when we get back? Nancy only just introduced you two.” At least that sounded like the kids didn't think they were above having some normal fun.

The second kid rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, “Lucas, the Byers have been close advisors to our family for generations. They're one of our connections to our people. If Will has said he'll DM and help teach us DnD then he will.”

“Or I could. You know, when Jason told me I could stay here, I wasn't expecting to be rooming with children.” Eddie offered, alerting the pair to his presence and shaking his head at their momentary frowns over his different style to everyone else in the camp. At least they were quickly replaced by curiosity from the second kid and a serious nod from the first, seemingly called Lucas.

Lucas was the one to reply also, “It's a ridiculous supervision thing they brought in last year. Apparently if a King requests that their child learns more responsibility while at camp they're asked to supervise some of the younger campers. You however do not seem royal.”

He couldn't resist looking down at himself and circling as if to find out where the suit all the other men were wearing was before grinning, “Because I'm not. There's been a system mix-up with Camp Rock. I'm Eddie, and you are?”

“Prince Lucas and this is Prince Michael. I assume you have headphones even if you weren't informed that whichever prince you've swapped places with was acting as a kid supervisor.” Lucas countered, and Eddie definitely understood that it was as much from an assumption that Eddie would want to play his music as well as that they wouldn't be changing anything on how they behaved at camp for him.

Michael however was staring at him with the unmistakable gaze of a fan and darted to his bedside table to grab a magazine with Corroded Coffin on the cover. “You're Eddie Munson! Will you sign my magazine? Can you teach me how to play guitar? Have you ever smashed a guitar on stage? I saw it in a movie once and it looked like so much fun. Call me Mike”

“Was going to say yes, but if you're wanting to try smashing a guitar lets stick with no. Nobody gets to hurt my sweetheart.” Eddie was very quick to pick his guitar case back up and move away from Mike, smile definitely forced as he refused the request.

/\/\

“Oi! Princey! Where the hell is Eddie?” The call made Steve pause and turn from where he'd been following Robin to the dance class. Vickie was meeting them there after stopping in wardrobe for a bit.

He knew it was him being called to but had to frown at the question, trying to remember if he'd met an Eddie yet. “Who's Eddie? I'm not sure I've met an-”

The man who'd yelled was already coming closer, followed by two other guys. “The guy who is actually meant to be at this camp. Why'd you swap places with him?”

“The guy from the dock?” He guessed, remembering the person who'd bumped into him definitely had a style similar to the group he was talking to, “I think that might have been the name the doorman for Camp Royalty was calling when I was trying to get on the right ship to come to camp.”

One of the other men looked sceptical, looking Steve up and down as if he'd be able to spot a lie. “You mean you had nothing to do with this and are just as confused over why your here as Eddie definitely has over being there?”

“Guess so. I'm Steve, who are you three?” He shrugged, then held his hand out to shake, this time having it properly shook. At least Robin's reaction was a thing only she seemed to do.

“Jeff, Gareth and Grant, three quarters of Corroded Coffin since apparently our singer and lead guitar is at the wrong camp.” Jeff gestured to who he was introducing and stepped back so Gareth and grant could also shake his hand.

Since they still didn't seem entirely happy, Steve soon stepped back again, “I feel like you want me to apologise for a mistake the camps made.”

“Ah – Um, you have a point there. We're just a bit annoyed since this was meant to be a trip for us all to relax.” Gareth seemed to want to protest before nodding at his point.

A cough coming from behind him made Steve glance over his shoulder to see Robin waiting for him to follow her again. “Okay, well... Robin and Vicky have convinced me to tag along to some of the activities so I'll probably see you later?”

“Later Princey” Gareth called, turning to wherever they'd been going before again.

/\/\

Eddie had struggled to believe the unicorns were really. He'd doubted half of the things included as activities could actually be necessary for royalty to learn, but this, seeing sceptre training actually including magic was what finally made him comment on it to the kids he was basically trailing around camp. “The sceptre thing isn't just a legend? That could make for some awesome stage effects.”

“Exactly! Erica has been trying to argue that her friends should get them too but for some reason the world's countries agreed to keep this magic hoarded for the royal families.” Lucas nodded rapidly. Mike had wandered over to one of the older kids when she waved and was yet to return. Lucas didn't seem concerned by it and so far every interaction Eddie had had with the teens closer to his age had been negative at best.

“Can I try yours?” He asked with a cheeky grin.

“No you can't. The way you've latched onto the kids you're meant to supervise is unnerving some of us. What are you doing here still?” And there was Mike back again, just behind the princess pushing Eddie's hand down as if he'd have taken it from Lucas without permission.

Eddie met her gaze directly, gesturing around them. “Waiting for Lady Chrissy to get Camp Rock to transfer me mostly. Who are you and why get angry when you and all the other royals our age have scorned me to the point these two are the only half decent people here?”

“Princess Nancy. We weren't scorning you.” She seemed so certain of her words that Eddie could hold his scoff back.

Lucas looked like he would have scoffed too if he hadn't been trained differently already. “You really were, Princess Nancy. Everyone has been scowling at him, and scoffing anytime he shows his passions for music and storytelling. You keep lecturing Mike and I about not judging those who aren't in the royal life but have been doing just that ever since Eddie ended up at our camp. Are we only meant to accept the Princess Wheeler approved commoners?” He stated, clearly referring to connections that Eddie only had vague ideas about based on things Mike and Lucas had already said around him.

“Lucas, that's not true. I'm just trying to look out for you.” Nancy's tone suddenly gentled but her actions were still speaking more than loudly enough for Eddie and Lucas

“Then you should have spent time with us, with Eddie over the last 2 days, not just glared before coming over with accusations.” Lucas stated, before handing Eddie his sceptre. “This is how we do the rainbow display.” He began instructing, clearly ending the conversation with Nancy by turning his back to her.

/\/\

Eddie had tried. He had tried to get involved and join in, especially since the competition had been announced and Lady Chrissy had seemed so delighted by his singing during one of their small conversations about failing to transfer him to the correct camp. The issue was it seemed that none of the royals involved in the acapella choir was prepared to actually accept that he knew how to sing.

Eddie hadn't meant to storm away and he was sure that once he calmed down he'd go right back to keeping an eye on the last half decent royals present But for now he was walking and smiling at how much he could relate to the song he could hear.

“That's a great song.” The words left him without thinking, and it was only when the song broke of that he realised the singer was someone walking around the lake similar to himself.

“Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be out here.” The singer said, one hand coming up to adjust his hair.

Eddie nodded, understanding exactly what he meant, “I know what that's like. Getting so lost in music is wonderful, especially when you're upset. Why do I recognise you?”

“Are you the man from the dock? Just before I was called for the wrong boat?” He asked in reply, squinting a little as if that would help his memory.

“And I got on the wrong boat cause Jason was yelling my name. I'm Eddie.” The agreement came easily, now smiling and holding his hand out.

It was taken and shook easily. “I'm Steve, and yeah, your band told me. Gareth apparently thought you swapped with me as a prank until I explained the mix-up.”

“Bet he wasn't the nicest before getting told that. He's only confrontational when annoyed or worried and my disappearance probably had him feeling both.” He laughed, already having imagined their reactions since he realised a prince must have ended up at Camp Rock.

Steve smiled back easily, “It wasn't so bad and we got it cleared up fairly quickly. Why are you out here?”

“A Princess Nancy has decided I'm, I don't know, grooming her brother or something. Did you know your parents had you set to be supervision for a couple of camp kids?” Eddie stated, smirking a little when Steve clearly recognised the name.

The reply confirmed that connection, with a small roll of his eyes. “No, but I can believe that. Was it Dustin or Lucas rooming with Michael? I never got told if all three were allowed to go this year.”

“Lucas. They're pretty great kids, especially with how hostile the rest of them are.” Eddie couldn't help but grin. Looking after the pair was reminding him of his days before quitting school to focus on his band when he'd try to look out for younger kids who didn't fit in.

“Royals don't much like change. It's scary if something disturbs their views of superiority over the people they rule.” Steve offered a commiserating smile.

“That explains why I'm sending them insane then.” Eddie's replying grin was full of mischief. He thought that going back to camp knowing there was at least one prince he could get along with would make getting the rest to question their views more worthwhile.

/\/\

“Metal is what we're best at.” The argument didn't seem to have a point to Steve but Grant was repeating the comment for the third time since a few of them had mentioned feeling unhappy with their song choice.

Robin was shaking her head, pulling out a board and starting to right pros and cons columns out. “It's a niche. The royals aren't going to go for it and we need the song to be liked if we're going to win.”

“Steve literally just said it was a good song.” Gareth pointed out as if that would convince her to let them stick with the Corroded Coffin song

Vickie immediately stepped up to back Robin's argument for changing songs saying, “And you started this practise claiming his songwriting was metal even if the song itself wasn't in that style. Why can't we sing one of his?”

“Robin, we're the ones who know how to rock a concert or have you forgotten how big our band actually is?” Gareth stated, gesturing between the three band members.

“Yet you're learning along with the rest of us.” Vickie stated.

Robin quickly added onto that with, “Experience does not mean you know this camp or Camp Royalty's tastes to win the competition and I'm not throwing it just because you want to play a metal song that's not even a camp original.”

“Steve, do you want us to use one of your songs for the competition?” Jeff finally sighed, looking over to him and making him blink at apparently being given the power to choose what they played.

“If you think it could help you win then sure?” He replied, uncertain if this was some sort of test, “Which one though? I've not had the chance to play much of them before.”

“Which makes it even more impressive how metal they are. The one from this morning was pretty great actually.”

“Everyone okay with that being our song choice?” Vickie asked, looking around the room.

“Agreed.” was chorused back to her.

/\/\

Eddie had actually been getting into the song. It was fun even if he'd had to fight to get them to change and only managed with with Lady Chrissy's intervention. If they wanted to win the competition then he'd do his best to help.

Unfortunately that didn't seem to be how any of the rest of the choir was taking it, proven by Nancy coming over to him when they took a short break. “Mike and Lucas aren't here, you can stop showing off now.”

“Two things: 1st Lady Chrissy literally asked us to highlight my voice in our entry.” He began, getting a goblet of water that he'd insisted be provided if they were to practise outside for hours. “2nd It's not showing off, it's showmanship which is necessary when performing. You're the one desperate to win but if you want me to just mimic you, then I shall.”

Princess Nancy scowled, folding her arms and visibly settling in for what she wanted to be a one sided argument. Eddie copied the gesture and waited for her to speak.“That's entirely not what I meant.”

“That's entirely not what I meant.” He recited the words back in the most dead inside voice he could achieve.

“I'm just saying we work as an ensemble, don't you know how to work with other people.” She scowled, a finger coming up to gesture before she caught herself.

“I'm just saying we work as an ensemble, don't you know how to work with other people.” He intoned, maintaining near perfect stillness, even as he watched Lucas and Mike come over to them.

Mike was already snickering when he asked, “Why is Eddie coping everything you say?”

“Just what have you been lecturing him about this time?” Lucas was quick to correct the question, knowing it would be a reaction to something.

Eddie relaxed into his normal posture again. “Oh just that I've been showing off and taking over. Maybe she'd be happier if I just got out of here.” As he said the words he suddenly thought that was a great idea.

“Eddie? You're joking about that, right? Eddie?” Mike sounded uncertain, gaze following as Eddie just grinned, turning and walking away, ignoring the attempt to call after him.

He was just close enough to hear when Lucas replied, “I don't think he was joking about it.”

/\/\

For saying this was Camp Royalty and should definitely have some decent security, Eddie found none as he headed into Lady Chrissy's office and dialled the number for the bands agent, impatiently listening to it ring. “Come on, Seymore, pick up.”

“Hey, Metal is here to stay, but I am out! Leave a message-” Getting the voicemail recording was soon overshadowed by hearing Jason coming through, talking aloud to himself.

“Camp Royalty has got this in the bag! Poor Barbara Holland, what are you going to do when you have to close your camp and leave? Don't care! Why Lady Christine, of course I'm not the most intelligent man in the world, top 5% maybe.” Jason singing love songs to himself as he left the office was an image that would stick with him. Now Eddie wasn't one to judge anyone's music taste, but he would judge the type of simping that Jason seemed to do every time Lady Chrissy did anything.

/\/\

“You two up to invade Camp Rock and snatch Prince Steve to plan to save both camps?” Eddie announced as soon as he was back in his room, getting a visibly fretting Lucas and Mike spinning to stare and run over to him as if checking he was actually there.

Mike's expression twisted with distaste a moment later, at a guess when everything Eddie had said registered, “Steve was meant to be our supervision? I am so glad this mix up happened. Hang on, what's going on with the camps?”

“Prince Steve is nice. Just because Nancy was just as judgemental towards him as she's been to Eddie this week doesn't mean you need to complain about him for all eternity. Focusing on the issue though, we'll help.” Lucas shook his head, admonishing his friend slightly before refocusing, “What's going on?”

“I didn't hear all the details but there's some kind of bet which means whoever loses this competition has to close down.” Eddie gave the shortest explanation he could, already sure he'd be repeating it all night and trying to herd his sheep out of the door.

Thankfully they easily went, only glancing at him to know the way to walk, “Let's go then.”

/\/\

“Eddie, Twerps, What's going on?” Steve barely glanced at the kids before focusing on Eddie, concerned.

Once again Eddie decided to avoid giving a full explanation to them, his mind still trying to plot the evening the way he would a D&D game, “Nothing good. You said the rest of Corroded Coffin is in Camp Rocks band? Can you take me to them so we explain this just once.”

“Sure. We've got a rehearsal soon anyway.” Steve nodded behind him, only smirking as the kids and Eddie dodged behind and around things to try and stay hidden as they followed him.

/\/\

“Eddie Munson!” Everyone waiting in their practise room gasped, hands going to their faces to enhance the drama of the moment.

Steve looked them all over unimpressed before saying, “Why are you acting surprised? Gareth, Jeff and Grant have all been practising with us from the start. Wait, why are you three acting surprised too?”

“Felt like it. What's going on that you only sneak into the right camp now?” Gareth shrugged, straightening and looking Eddie's expression over as if it would tell him everything about what was happening.

/\/\

All of them were exhausted. They'd rehearsed late into the night, straight after about a million arguments because Princess Nancy and the other royals weren't ready to just trust, in their words, a washed up wannabe rockstar and a couple of kids barely trained in the royal life.

And then to perform with as much energy and in the moment adaptions as the merging of their two groups took left Eddie impressed they were all still standing at the end of their performance. It really made the show unpredictable and difficult to be unable to perform all together even once before the actual show.

He was only just following the argument going on between Lady Chrissy and Barbara Holland, and really wished he could believe it wasn't a scheme entirely motivated by Lady Chrissy wanting to shut down Camp Rock.

Steve nudged his arm as he twisted his sceptre to point at the floor under the feet of their camp leaders, making Eddie realise they'd stopped atop one of the platforms. He hoped Steve had also included something to prevent them from just walking out of that area and back onto the stage to carry their argument on. “Bold move.”

“Honestly, I can cope with the music but their arguing would give me a migraine.” Steve muttered back, frowning at Jason's appearance on stage.

“I'm pretty good at head massages if that'll help.” Eddie offered quietly, leaning into his space and finally letting himself flirt a little. Here on the stage, with Mike and Lucas in the audience and his band all around him he finally felt safe enough to do so, even if the royals that were only just beginning to accept he wasn't horrible could be watching.

Steve wrapped an arm around his waist, whispering, “I bet we could both do with a few massages after this is all over. Want to visit my kingdom before you get back to your tour?”

“I think I can schedule that in.” He agreed, turning at the collective noise of disappointment to see Jason now gloating on the stage. “But I guess we didn't manage to save the camps even with you shutting Chrissy away.”

With a sigh, Steve pointed his sceptre back at the area Barbara and Chrissy were shut in so he definitely had ensured they'd remain there.

Nobody was expecting the pair to be cuddling, pecking at each others lips as they were raised back to stage height.

“I'd say that might be hope for us yet.” Steve smiled, distracting himself and Eddie by pulling the other into a kiss a little deeper than the ones their camp leaders had been sharing.

The distraction was broken once again, this time by Jason screaming “I BRIBED A JUDGE FOR YOU!”

There were at least 3 glows of sceptres being activated in the vague direction of Jason, enough that Eddie doubted he'd manage to escape the stage platforms for at least a day without help.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steddie #nancy wheeler negative #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #barbie rock 'n' royals #background Barb/Chrissy #background appearances of Chrissy Barbara and Jason

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january-summers · 5 months

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Whoopsie, More Wash centric AUs, now with OCs for extra flavour.

What if he wasn’t court-martialed until the very end of the war so he never joined PFl, and instead of David, Agent Washington was some douche named George who either legit died on the cliff with Meta, or never recovered from Epsilon.

And, David kills some people in self defence, like has to shoot his direct superior in the head very publicly to stop them from ordering his entire platoon to their very avoidable deaths, or during his slap-on-the-wrist free-with-court-martial two months prison time he kills some guys in the showers because they were trying to kill/harm him, so he ends up with *serious* prison time.

Like ends up on the Tartarus, serious. And naturally he makes friends with the other inmates near his cell, including someone who probably shouldn’t be there because she’s technically still a teenager and her crimes were more white collar than murder even if they were very very serious. (Hacked ONI for the lulz, they’re trying to scare her into compliance/working for them.)

Think Emily Grey but with a more limited area of hyper-focused intelligence and higher anxiety/obvious autism.

Meanwhile with the Reds and Blues, Alpha Church managed to basically eat Sigma, O’Malley and Gary, because he didn’t have anyone to Emp them out in a last stand and Meta got their hands on him so it was eat or be eaten.

And he reconnects with Epsilon who basically treats it like a backstory update and goes on being Epsilon Church (Caboose is stoked, double best friend!)

(All Churches get their therapy moment and Tex gets to decide on her own personhood, going off to self examine for a bit and meeting up with Carolina, they get to talk out their issues and decide to kill Director. Tex gets to have her “I exist now, no matter how I was made I have experiences of my own and I am my own person, not your dead wife.” moment, and Carolina gets her, “you died when mum did, and I can’t, I won’t keep chasing your ghost.” moment.)

And the Reds and Blues get to keep the rest of the AIs by virtue of not mentioning they have them to others. They all still end up on Chorus.

In the Tartarus, David figures out what Felix is planning, and even though he has no interest in working for or with him, he still grabs the bars and warns his nearby inmates what’s probably about to happen. (It’s way too easy for David to think “if I was a sack of shit what would I do?”)

By cosmic coincidence, David ends up with the old Freelancer armour belonging to KIA Agent (George) Washington. (Price recognises David and mentions later that he’d actually been on the list for the project.)

David gets to be in charge of his own little strike team, not that anyone on it is particularly interested in working for team Felix.

“Do you think the locals will let us swap sides?” Asks one of David’s men.

But David shakes his head, “not after Felix and Locus pulled their multiyear double agent crap.”

“… is it Locus or Locust?”

“What?”

“The big scary one, is it Locus or Locust?”

“Locus?” Now David is questioning what he’s been hearing, because it could easily be eith- “Wait, where’s the kid?!”

The team is one short, the hacker teen who shouldn’t have been there is missing. She should be back up on the ship, but David didn’t like the idea of leaving her unsupervised. For her safety sure, but also the safety of others.

“Spread out, find her. Don’t engage with anyone unless you have to, finding the kid is priority.”

David finds her with a soldier in… Teal? Aqua? Cyan? Blue, it’s a shade of blue.

The kid is trying to poke at a small hologram next to the soldier and David makes it just in time to stop the kid from taking a knife to the anything.

“Hey now, let’s all just calm down and everyone respect everyone else’s personal space, okay? No putting fingers or knives in others, okay?”

“Well that’s definitely not Washington in there,” the soldier says, “that guy was a grade A asshole who would love to see knives in people.”

“You can call me D.C. Sorry about the kid, she gets excited about techy stuff. So, from what Counsellor Price said, you must be Agent Carolina?”

“That’s right,” Carolina confirms like she’d like nothing more than to stick her knife in David.

“… has he always been that much of a creepy asshole?” David asks, then notices the kid’s reflection in Carolina’s visor, fidgeting with her helmet. The kid stims by chewing on things, normally her braids, David knows. “Kid, I need you to keep your helmet on for me, okay? It keeps your head nice and safe.”

*someone gets headshot in the background*

“…er, safer.” David corrects.

And through the power of being him, David and his team get to join team good guy. the folks on Chorus.

And all is well with the world. Until the kid and dr Grey meet and everyone has to deal with the “oh god there’s two of them” perfectly reasonable fear response.

Sorry for any typos in this mess of a plot bunny, I wrote it on my phone in bits and pieces during a bbq, which lead to another, competing bunny asking the tough and distracting questions: who is the best griller out if all the Reds and Blues and Freelancers, who shouldn’t be allowed near a grill, and who is a great bbq master but is someone everyone thinks shouldn’t be allowed near a grill? (And vice-versa)

This whole bunny thread was just a way to lead to the “keeps your head safe *bang* -er. safer” joke. Was not expecting the Tex and Carolina detour, but stuff it, ladies road-trip of murder and justice!

#rvb #red vs blue #rvb aus #agent washington #agent carolina #agent texas #leonard l church #ah canon I like to watch it drift away like agent georgia and wave as it passes the window

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thebluestbluewords · 10 months

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More of the body swap fic I’m not writing:

(part one here)

Oh, evil. Mal's in Jay's body, Jay's in Evie's body, Evie's in Carlos's body, which means that Carlos is currently piloting Mal's body.

"Where did you let Carlos take my body?"

Evie winces. "Just down to your locker! We just let him pick up your spellbook, which was the right thing to do, and then, um."

Oh no.

"What happened." Mal manages, around the rock of dread sitting in her throat. Teachers, explosions, an adverse magical reaction with the spellbook leading to magical explosions…there’s so many things that could have gone wrong in the time she was asleep, and so few ways to fix them while she’s stuck in the wrong body.

Evie goes to push her hair back, realizes mid-gesture that Carlos’s body doesn’t have long hair, and settles for tugging on her bangs instead. It’s the same gesture that Ben makes when he’s nervous, which is weirdly sweet to think about. It’s sort of neat that they share unconscious gestures with each other when they’re thrown out of their usual sets.

"He sort of ran into your boyfriend. I figure that we can’t really make things worse than they already are, what with the lying to him, and the magic, and the fact that you cooked up this plan to try and get us to double for you anyway, so we're just starting the doubling process a little bit early, that's all!"

No.

No no no.

Evie leans forward. "Mal? Babe? What’s wrong?”

Mal’s stomach drops like a stone. Weird. She usually feels dread in her chest, not her gut. Apparently emotional reactions are stored in the body, not the mind, or whatever they’ve swapped. "It's Friday night. Date night."

"It's fine!” Evie-as-Carlos says quickly, sitting back as her voice squeaks and cracks on the end of her words. Fascinating. Once they’re back in the correct bodies, Mal is going to have to take advantage of that. She didn't have nearly enough fun tormenting Jay while his voice was cracking, and Carlos is too good at hiding things from her to show such a potential weakness. But now that she knows the potential is there, there’s so much fun to be had in finding just the right ways to make him squeak. “Carlos knows how to go on a date, right?"

Oh, gods.

The last time Mal saw either of their boys on a date, it was with each other, in their correct bodies, and the building they were last spotted in exploded under deeply suspicious circumstances the next morning. Well after they were in the clear, of course, but early enough that Mal couldn’t very well be fucked to wake up and snoop around after them. It’s possible that living in Auradon has changed them for the better, but Mal’s seen the sort of explosives that Carlos thinks are appropriate for flirting, and unless things have changed a lot more than she’s been told, they’ll be lucky if the school is still standing in an hour.

"As me??" Mal squawks. “Really?”

Evie considers this for all of three seconds, but it’s a very active sort of consideration. Or possibly it’s just that Evie’s used to being constantly aware of what her face is doing, and any micro-expression she makes looks big on Carlos’s face. Some of them, Mal is realizing, don’t have very many facial expressions.

"Okay, maybe not,” Evie says slowly. “But they've been out there for… almost an hour at this point, and I haven't received any more texts about imminent danger, so it's probably fine."

“More?” Mal shrieks. It’s lower than expected. More of an enraged howl than a shriek of anger. Fascinating, says the part of her brain that isn’t occupied with the current issue at hand. She’ll have to try shouting more later, see what other stupid noises she can get out of Jay’s body before they swap back. “More?? And what do you mean, probably? Evie, this isn’t just some random date that you can dip out on at the end of the night and never see again. This is my boyfriend, and our friend, and he knows all of us. He’s going to realize that something isn’t right, and there’s no way he’s going to let it go. He’s been asking me for weeks if I’m ‘okay’ and if I should be ‘talking to someone’ about the ‘stress in my life’, like talking to an adult has ever made somebody less stressed about things.”

“You aren’t seeing a therapist?”

“Not you too!”

Evie goes for an exasperated look this time, which works surprisingly well. They should make a book, like one of the stupid emotional ones that the stupid school therapist had pulled out the one time Mal actually sat through a therapy session. Identifying Emotions on Your Friends, they could call it. It’d be useful, actually. A sort of reference guide for the next time she fucks up and switches their bodies around like the worst ever game of musical chairs.

“M, I thought you were already going to therapy! You have a block in your calendar every week that literally says therapy, 4pm. I’m going to regret asking this, but what are you doing during that time if you’re not, y’know, going to your court-mandated therapy appointment?”

Jay’s face is easy to set into a smile, and much harder to get into a workable sulky expression. Mal is persistent though, so she manages. “I’m throwing rocks at children.”

Don’t tell don’t tell don’t tell, she sends psychically to Jay, just in case there’s a secret body-mind connection still at play here. Don’t tell or I’ll disembowel you.

“She’s sneaking out to cause mayhem, obviously,” Jay says, letting a little half smile play at the corner of Evie’s mouth. He’s been putting the time they’ve been ignoring him to wicked use, and the expression is much more believable on Evie’s face than the first ones he tried. “C’mon, Eves. I leave therapy to go outside and hit shit all the time, it’s no big deal if Mal’s not going.”

Evie’s eyes narrow, and she tries to put her hands on her hips. Unfortunately for her, Carlos’s body is about eighty pounds soaking wet, and doesn’t have much hip for her to work with.

“Do the words court-mandated mean nothing to you?” Evie hisses, quickly crossing her arms instead in a shockingly decent recovery move. “Mal Bertha, once I’m back in my body I am going to drag you down there myself, and if you don’t cooperate I’m going to tie you up and carry you, and I’ll get Jordan to help me, so the ropes are going to be cute and glittery, and you’ll have cat hair on you the whole time.”

“Do your worst, princess,” Mal coos. It works surprisingly well in a lower register. Performatively flirty is easy in Jay’s body, which really isn’t surprising. “I’d love for you to tie me up and have your wicked way with me.”

#my fic #hello I promise y’all that I am Not Writing this #it just keeps falling out of my brain #descendants #descendants fic #this doesn’t deserve character tags tbh #but it’s rotten ot4 to be clear #they just go on dates with other people sometimes #Mal’s stalker habits are sort of a compersion thing for her #instead of getting her partner ready for a date with someone else she’s stalking them after to make sure it went well #the feelings are still positive overall never fear #Mal’s court mandated therapy is probably because she set the school on fire a couple of times #and she’s supposed to be learning how to repress her more fire-related emotions #not all of the fires were strictly her fault but she’s a great date and would never kiss and tell ;)

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autumntouched · 1 year

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Day 15 of Ode to Phoenix Pt. 2

What? Two Ode to Phoenix posts in one day? Yes indeed. Bringing this Valentine's Day fic over from AO3. In honor of Phoenix's disdain for Valentine's Day, I am posting it the day after...

Summary: It’s irrational that Natasha hates the entire month of February, but for two weeks, the bombardment of saccharine promotional emails, constant red and pink hearts and roses, and the chocolates is enough to make her want to scream or puke or both. She’d even broken up with a guy for daring to send her a bouquet on the day. Well, there were other reasons, but a gag worthy card and flowers for a stupid made up holiday for a fake, hollow, unoriginal performative symbol of love seemed like a good enough reason to end things.

Pairings: Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Warnings: PG-13 implied sex (f/m/m)

A/N: AO3 Unk365's prompt: Phoenix hates valentine's Day. She doesn't do sappy shit.

Love in the Small Things

It’s irrational that Natasha hates the entire month of February, but for two weeks, the bombardment of saccharine promotional emails, constant red and pink hearts and roses, and the chocolates is enough to make her want to scream or puke or both. She’d even broken up with a guy for daring to send her a bouquet on the day. Well, there were other reasons, but a gag worthy card and flowers for a stupid made up holiday for a fake, hollow, unoriginal performative symbol of love seemed like a good enough reason to end things.

Her disdain for Valentine’s Day makes her popular among her squad and the recipient of more gifts of alcohol than she can responsibly consume this side of thirty. She always signs up for the flight duties that day, takes any shift trades, so the guys can get home to the partners who would break up with them if they didn’t make a big deal about a bullshit holiday that turns hospitals into a November hellscape of people dropping babies left and right.

So she doesn’t even think about what it means for her to put her name down for February 14th, until she comes into the office one morning in late January to find Bob staring forlornly at the board.

“I forgot you hate Valentine’s Day,” he says sadly when she stops beside him, cheap coffee with powdered creamer in hand.

Natasha braces herself for the questions and comments about what made her so bitter and disdainful about love. Who hurt her like that? But she’s too pretty to hate Valentine’s Day.

But this is Bob, who never questions any of the things most people find unfathomable about her. She doesn’t want to hold your baby? He will. She shudders at pickles? He swoops them off the plate before she notices they’re there or swaps their meals if the waiter made a mistake. She knows every line of Miss Congeniality and The Lion King by heart? He only talks through the parts she doesn’t mind. She has to see a Marvel movie on its Thursday night premiere so the internet doesn’t spoil it? He wakes up early the day tickets are released to get them seats. Well, she’s not all that alone on that one.

She’d put their names up as soon as the schedule opened in January. Not that it’s predictable. If anything comes up, the Navy gives as much of a fuck about Valentine’s Day plans as she does. This is why Natasha loves her job.

“I didn’t think you had plans?” Not that she’d explicitly asked but she and Bob practically share a calendar at this point and she’s pretty sure that day was open. A blush creeps up Bob’s neck and he gulps. Natasha sets her coffee down on the filing cabinets to put her hands on her hips.

“Unless these ones are recent?” she probes. “Or secret .”

“I’ve never had a reason to do anything before,” he says quietly. “It’s okay though. I’ll figure something out.” He hitches on a smile to reassure her and scurries to his desk. She’ll get more out of him later when they don’t have to worry about anyone in the squad overhearing.

While Bob’s old squad hadn’t even bothered to come up with a call sign for him—something that still makes her angry when she thinks about it too long—Natasha’s popularity in the Black Aces immediately rubbed off on him. Unfortunately, though, that means they want to know about who he’s dating as badly as they want to know how a guy who doesn’t root for a football team has been dominating their fantasy football league.

Natasha feels like shit. Last she’d badgered him just yesterday, Bob had been evasive and noncommittal about where things were with Fanboy. While she avoids dating because it is always only a matter of time before she gets bored or annoyed and finds a reason to blow things up, Bob’s relationship slate’s emptiness isn’t all his doing. In high school, no one wanted to date the kid people either bullied or couldn’t remember existed. He’d hidden away in art rooms sketching, painting, and sculpting the incredible art pieces that decorate his parents’ and sisters’ houses. She’d even commissioned a piece to give to her mom for her birthday.

He’s gained a little more confidence since then but spending most of his life ignored or forgotten means he doesn’t notice people noticing him unless the Dagger squad takes it upon themselves to intervene. She, Hangman, Rooster, and Payback have spent hours on chaotic FaceTime calls figuring out what Bob’s feelings are and how to keep Fanboy’s hopes up. Most of the chaos comes from Hangman who googles every question that comes up and reads aloud the articles or subreddits he finds. Some are helpful, most are absurd.

Natasha grabs her coffee and ducks out of the building to consult one of her co-conspirators. Shut in her car, she calls Payback.

“What up?” he answers.

“Are you alone?” It’s their code to let one another know that they want to discuss Mission FanBob SquarePants, as Hangman dubbed it. Another chaotic call of him solely contributing portmanteaus.

“For like maybe ten minutes. Shoot.”

“Bob mentioned having a reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day,” she blurts. “Do you know anything about that?”

“Uhhhh…ohhhhhh! Oh shiiiiiit.” Payback cracks up on the other end.

“Want to let me in on it? Because right now I have us slated to work.”

“Yo, Phoenix. You better fix that. Fanboy hasn’t said anything, but we did just get approved for leave that weekend. His request.”

This is huge! And Payback’s right. She has almost just fucked it up.

“Did he give any specifics?” she presses.

“Nah, but I assume if Bob wasn’t planning leave but has plans, Fanboy’s going there.”

“I hate Valentine’s Day,” she grumbles, banging her head against the headrest. “It makes everyone stupid and shallow and sappy.”

“You’re a guy’s dream, Phoenix. But for real, we’ve been trying to make this happen for over a year so you need to get your shit together.”

Payback’s right. This is about Bob. “Fine. Don’t say anything to Fanboy for now. I think I can get us out of it.”

“Copy that. Gotta go. Bye.” He hangs up.

Natasha frowns at her windshield, absently tapping her phone as she mentally puts together a list of people willing to trade with her. It’s short. Pagemaster and Sherlock. She’ll start with Sherlock.

Sherlock’s new to the squad and, as far as she knows, single. At least he hadn’t mentioned dating anyone in the first ten minutes of their conversation, which most guys find a way to do if they’re attached. Neither Hangman nor Rooster believes that rule so she wonders if it’s just a thing guys do with women or if they don’t remember to notice.

Natasha texts him about getting lunch before she goes back in. Sherlock responds almost immediately with a “yes.” She doesn’t envy being the newest arrival.

Bob is waiting for her when she gets back to her desk. “Where’d you go?”

“Period,” she lies easily. He winces sympathetically. It’s nice flying with someone who grew up around girls.

“They just called a meeting in Building 64. Want to head over together?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” She waits until they’re outside, among the distant bustle of airplane maintenance and refueling, to return to their earlier conversation. “You didn’t answer my question about these plans. Are they new or a secret?”

He dips his chin and slips his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to jinx anything,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well this guy has another thing coming if he thinks he can fuck with your heart like that.” She deliberately bumps his arm as they pass through the row of hangars.

“He’s well aware I have a bunch of knights in shining armor ready to deliver his head on a platter if I ask,” Bob jokes. But he’s admitting that whatever is going on has some kind of foundation. That’s something new.

“Okay, Solome.”

“What?”

“Sunday school joke. She asked for John the Baptist’s head.”

Bob nods thoughtfully but she can tell he’s only half listening. His mouth is turned down in a frown and he’s hunching in on himself. Natasha moves in closer. Not that anyone is likely to overhear them, but she knows he wants to keep things as quiet as possible. He’s never dealt with dating and she can see that even her gentle teasing overwhelms him sometimes.

“Look, I’m happy for you if things work out with Fanboy. But I’m your back seater on this one and I go wherever you go, okay?”

“Well,” he grimaces, “that’s kind of the problem. I don’t really know what I’m doing here. What if I mess it up?”

“Then I’m still your person because I possibly have more experience with that than getting it right,” she reassures him. “So I can say this with confidence. You’ve probably got a good thing when the other person makes it extremely hard for you to completely mess up. Might not always work, but it’s a good thing.”

Relief washes over him, and some of the lightness returns to his stride. Bob glances over at her, and she gets her own sense of relief from his adorably shy, crooked smile. “I can never tell if your relationship advice is terrible or too honest.”

Natasha tilts her head. “Me neither but I’m glad you have a healthy sense of skepticism. It’s probably for your own good.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he chuckles, and she gets the urge to pull him into a hug. Sometimes when she looks over at him, she’s surprised to realize they’ve known one another for a few months shy of a year and a half instead of their whole lives.

She has her own group chat with his sisters, shows him pictures of his nephews and nieces that he hasn’t seen yet, and knows his cousins on both sides. She is his plus one to every wedding they can make, the one he waltzes onto the floor during the couples dance or sneaks out with to drink from a flask in the car at the dry or cash bar receptions. He was the first person she told when she got the news that her grandmother died three days before she was supposed to fly home to say goodbye. Bob was holding her less than ten minutes after she sent the message. He’d forgotten to switch his shoes at the bowling alley. When they went on vacation together and she didn’t listen about trying street food, he’d sat outside the bathroom door with gatorade while she made horrific noises emptying out her stomach and intestines in both directions.

That’s just not the kind of love you can sum up in a pink-drenched Hallmark holiday. But fuck, she better get them off the schedule.

Sherlock is waiting for her at a table in the NEX food court. He waves as if she could miss him. The pilot looks like a freaking model with smooth brown skin, long-lashed almond shaped gold eyes, and high, sharp cheekbones. She’s watched men straight as rulers lose their stride on the treadmill when he walks into the gym.

He gives her a nervous, dazzling white smile. That and his reserved kindness are the only hints that he didn’t walk the halls of high school as a god among mortals. “Appreciate the invite, Phoenix.”

“Well, I have a favor to ask so maybe wait until you hear it before you thank me,” she laughs. “Lunch is on me. Pick a place yet?”

“You good with Five Guys?”

“Sure.”

As they wind their way through the cramped rows of tables, he tells her, “You know, it’s funny. When I was a kid the best you could hope for in these in the states was a Sbarro or a Subway until Quiznos came along. Oh, and Baskin Robbins.”

“You were a military kid?” she realizes.

“My dad was in the CEC.”

They join the Five Guys line. It’s on the earlier side so they’ve beat the rush. Otherwise, they would be waiting at least half an hour for their food. “So your dad is an engineer but you ended up a pilot?”

His face lights up, and she starts to wonder if she made a mistake thinking he’s single. “When I was four, my best friend’s mom was a pilot. She used to take us up for her hours. Then one of the parents at our kindergarten invited–well, he was Colonel Bolden then, now he’s the former head of NASA–to speak to our class. Pretty much replaced all my Legos with planes after that and here I am.”

“Tell me they’re paying you to make recruitment videos with a story like that.” She’s only half joking. It’s better than the dramatic video game type ads they’ve been running.

“I’ve heard the Navy only gives out one paycheck and assumes that covers everything. But I’m all ears if you’ve got the scoop.”

“I’ll let you know when I hear,” Natasha agrees with a smile. “So, how was the PCS?”

“Just got back from sea duty so most of my stuff was waiting in storage.” That sounds promising. No use of “our” or “we.” They place their orders then snag a table within calling distance.

“So what’s this favor?” he wants to know, folding his hands and resting his elbows on the table. “I don’t remember that in your text.”

“Not exactly living up to your call sign there.”

He hangs his head. “I’m going to tell you a secret and if I hear it from anyone else, I’ll know who told our squad.” Sherlock looks up at her, waiting for her agreement.

Curious, Natasha nods.

Sherlock takes in a dramatic breath. “I made the mistake of stating something very obvious during a training exercise. Our instructor responded with ‘no shit, Sherlock’ over comms and that was it. I was ‘Sherlock.’ But usually I just say it’s because of how much I like the RDJ Sherlock movies.”

She’s glad their names are called then and he gets up to grab their food so he doesn’t have to see her laugh in his face. Making a mistake in the early days of training is one of most pilots’ worst fears for that very reason–it will stick with them for the rest of their career. At least he escaped being named for his mistake.

He grins sheepishly when he gets back, well aware she had a laugh at his expense. Parsing her fries from her burger, she lays out the favor without going into detail about why she needs it. “I know it’s a little late to ask…” she trails off.

Sherlock chews over his grilled cheese and her offer. “What’s in it for me?”

Natasha was expecting this. “Do you drink? I have a cabinet of expensive liquors you can choose from.”

“And if I don’t? Drink.”

She flashes him a smile. “That’s my offer until I know whether it’s one you’re willing to accept.”

His eyes widen slightly, and he takes another bite of his sandwich. She didn’t grow up with a brother who became a lawyer with a corner office in San Francisco to not protect her interests in a negotiation.

“And if I say no?” he tests.

Natasha pretends to think through her options while she selects a fry and douses it in ketchup. “I’d probably ask why to see if it’s because you can’t or won’t.”

“The guys warned me not to underestimate you.”

“I think they meant in the air.”

Sherlock’s mouth quirks. “They didn’t qualify. For a bottle of alcohol, I’ll think about it.”

Crap. She wants an answer before they head back to work. “So you do drink. Also I didn’t say how many. And I have some pretty expensive stuff.”

“I heard you love working Valentine’s Day. Why the sudden change of plans this year?”

“A friend asked me to help them out with some special plans, and they’re someone who doesn’t ask for a lot but is always there for me. So I want to try to be there for them.” For the most part, true. Bob doesn’t ask for a lot. Even when she’s his plus one, he insists on paying for everything no matter how much she protests.

“Can I let you know by the end of today? I have some stuff I have to see if I can move around first.”

Inside, she lets out a little breath of relief. Not a yes, but close enough. “Definitely,” she agrees. “Thank you.”

“Maybe wait until I’ve given you an answer before you thank me.”

Natasha smiles at his call back. “I really appreciate you even considering it.”

Sherlock doesn’t wait until the end of the day. He stops by her desk at three o’clock. “Four bottles, any pick and I’m in.”

She tries not to grin too hard or fast. “Deal. Thanks!”

“You got it, Phoenix.” He knocks his knuckles on her desk and goes back to his spot. Maybe one of those bottles she’s giving him will lead to some answers she wants about his dating life or—even better—his singledom.

When he’s sure Sherlock is out of hearing distance, Bob swivels around and leans low over the arm of his chair. “What was that about?” he whispers.

“I’ll tell you later,” she promises, excited to see the look on his face when she gives him the news. Catching herself having any anticipation about Valentine’s Day whatsoever, she wipes the smile off her face. The things she’s willing to do for her sweet back seater.

Natasha’s barely through the door that night when Jake looks up from the couch. Sports Center is on, covering the lead up to the Super Bowl. “What’s this I hear? The woman whose heart is two sizes too small turning into an adorable little Valentine’s Day cupid?”

“You’ve got your holidays mixed up, dickhead,” she retorts, kicking off her shoes and hanging up her keys and purse. “But yes, I saved Mission FanBob SquarePants and got Valentine’s Day off. As long as the Navy doesn’t fuck it up.” She glares at him. “And don’t you dare make any plans now or come up with any stupid surprises because I have a free evening.”

“I checked. All the good restaurants are already all out of reservations anyway, my gorgeous little grinch.” She knows he’s teasing, but she’s still not happy about it.

Jake sighs and pushes himself off the couch as she heads into the kitchen to sort out dinner. Natasha jerks the refrigerator open before she registers the smell of roasting brussels sprouts then notices the container of couscous on the counter and pot of water.

“I was waiting until you got home to put the salmon on the grill in case you got caught up at work,” he says from the doorway. “Also picked up your favorite sauvignon blanc because I know what even thinking about that atrocious day of love does to you. I’m sorry you have to suffer the indignity of a free evening alone with me to very much not do anything romantic, unless it’s sex because…” Natasha strides over and shuts him up with a kiss on the mouth. Jake wraps his arms around her and squeezes her close.

When she pulls back, he smooths her hair behind her ear and gives her that little smirk he keeps just for her. “Please tell me sex isn’t off the table on February 14th because everyone else is doing it.”

“As long as it doesn’t include roses, rose petals, chocolate, anything heart shaped or pink…” she ticks off.

He laughs and kisses her forehead. “You can text me your very specific list of don’ts, Birdy, and I promise to follow every one of them.” Jake slaps her ass. “But right now let me serve you hand and foot and finish making your dinner while you recover from spreading love on the couch.”

“I hate you,” Natasha grumbles when he releases her.

“I’ll pour you a glass of wine and hopefully you change your mind.”

Natasha heads to their room to change out of her uniform. By the time she gets to the living room in leggings and one of Jake’s former Longhorns sweatshirts that became hers when it shrunk in the wash (he may have once let slip how much he likes the way the horns curve over her chest), he has the promised glass of wine waiting for her on the coffee table and she can smell the salmon grilling on the balcony.

Neither of them was particularly keen to find themselves in a relationship and had insisted it was just a hookup for months until one day Jake went to get his favorite pair of sneakers from his closet and realized all the things he preferred were at her place. In the early fall, he made O-4 and now he’s waiting to hear from NPS to get his masters in Monterey. But Natasha can’t really worry about that bridge until she gets to it. And who knows, this could all be over by then. For now, she cradles her glass of wine while she admires his backside through the glass.

He notices her posting when he slides the door open to bring the salmon in. “I’d have put on a little show if I knew you were there.”

“You can save it for later, Bagman,” she shakes her head. “Right now, I’m hungry.”

Jake salutes her and hurries back to the kitchen. She watches him go and lets her smile fall. His parents had invited her to spend New Year’s with them in Texas. He’d insisted that they just wanted to meet his friends, that there was no pressure to go as his girlfriend. That had led to a fight because what parents invited the person in the background of all their son’s FaceTimes to their home thinking they were just friends? But she agreed to go because she could tell it was something he really wanted.

Sure enough, his mother started showing her all of his and his sister’s baby clothes that she’d saved for his children to have. By the time Beth Seresin pulled out his well-loved bear and a quilt his grandmother made for him, Natasha was having a full blown panic attack in the Seresin attic. She had ribbons and medals for the missions she flew in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the uranium enrichment plant mission last year, but just the hint of carrying a child nearly made her pass out.

Jake came home to find her curled up in his bed with the family’s Rhodesian Ridgeback, Lilah, after a frantic, tearful call to Rooster and stormed off. She wishes she could forget the awful dinner that night where Jake and his dad, Gerry, barely said two words to one another while Beth kept up a constant, overly cheerful chatter at everyone that couldn’t hide how red and swollen her eyes were from crying. Natasha prayed the whole meal for the floor to open up and swallow her.

She lets the wine ease the sharp jab of that memory. Jake has been on his best behavior since then, tripping over himself to keep her from even a thought of irritation, careful not to push too far with his teasing. No, he wouldn’t dare spring a Valentine’s Day surprise on her because he knows that might be the end of whatever this is.

Jake’s cooking goes a long way toward putting her in a better mood and by the time they’re getting ready for bed, her heart’s grown three sizes and she’s all too happy to let him show her some very convincing suggestions for her list of do’s for her evening off.

Natasha wakes to Jake’s voice in the darkness. “It’s three in the morning here, Fanboy. She’s asleep.” He shifts away from her and lowers his voice. “I guarantee this can wait a few hours, but I’ll tell her you called. Yeah, I know. It’s important. Yeah. Fine. Bye.”

“What does he want?” she groans.

She feels Jake jump slightly. He turns and hands over her phone. “I don’t know. Something about Bob. I thought your phone was on sleep mode, Birdy.”

Natasha returns it to its charging pad on her nightstand and curls back into her pillow. “He’s in my favorites,” she yawns.

“Mmm,” he hums, settling around her again. “Take him off tomorrow.”

“Mhmm,” she agrees, but she’s forgotten even before she falls back to sleep.

It turns out Fanboy wants her suggestions for what to do with Bob for Valentine’s Day and suddenly she remembers her promise to Jake to remove him from her favorites. It feels like she’s been duped and trapped into playing cupid. For Bob, she grits her teeth and reminds herself before promising to send Fanboy a list of things to do within a reasonable driving distance.

Natasha looks forward to the Super Bowl providing at least some distraction from the Valentine’s Day fury, but nearly every woman who talks to her at Commander Lazarescu’s Super Bowl party wants to know about her plans. She’s glad that, for the most part, not many people outside of her squadron know that her relationship with Jake is official, if they know about it at all. Bob gets a few prompts but nowhere near what she endures. Natasha starts to avoid everyone with a stone on their left ring finger and eventually stays tucked in between Jake and Bob who gamely go to get her food and drinks so she can avoid the questions and, weirdly, concern.

“Should I get him something?” Bob worries during one of their flights. Natasha’s glad he can’t see her scowl. “My sisters sent me some ideas but they don’t seem right.”

“What about one of your drawings?” she offers. “That feels more personal. And there’s always a bottle of Veuve Clicquot to take the edge off your nerves.”

“You’re better at this than you give yourself credit for, Phoenix,” he tells her.

She just grunts. One week left until everyone regains their sanity.

If Jake feels any type of way about doing nothing to celebrate their first Valentine’s Day together–Natasha mentally cringes at even having that thought–he doesn’t let on. Or maybe he does because he spends extra time cleaning the apartment and goes to the commissary so she doesn’t have to walk through the red and pink crepe draped aisles. When she pulls out her basket in the bathroom, she finds he’s even restocked her supply of tampons. There’s a folded sticky note on top. She opens it up and sees his scrawl:

Since you hate the color red so much thought you might need more of these . xoxo your dickhead

She touches his hugs and kisses. There have been times that he’s half jokingly told her that he loves her. When they’re several shots deep into their own raging dance party with a disco ball light Natasha still has from a classmate’s Bat Mitzvah. When her fantasy football team outranked his or when she surprised him with trips to San Francisco to see any Texas team play the Warriors.

Those three words she has yet to say in any meaningful way seem to make their way into all the things he does for her and puts up with from her. Natasha slams the basket away. God, she hates Valentine’s Day.

Another wonderful thing she loves about her job. When she walks into the office on February 14th, the only sign of Valentine’s Day is a sign taped onto the door instead of a rush of flower deliveries throughout the day that her sister tells her happens at her job. “Did you wish them Happy Valentine’s Day before you left home?”

She laughs to herself and wonders who learned the hard way. Natasha leaves the reusable bag filled with her payment to Sherlock on his desk. He gives her a thumbs up when he finds it. Bob gets quieter and quieter throughout the day, and by four, he’s given up on work and sits flipping his pen through his fingers.

“I can’t concentrate with you worrying so loud over there,” Natasha complains, looking up from the latest manual update.

Bob goes ramrod straight. “Sorry about that.”

She sighs and closes her reading. “Half the guys in here are still scrambling to find a florist to order flowers from. No one’s doing any work anyway. Want to go for a walk?”

He calms down slightly after they stroll around the planes. They’re only back at their desks for another fifteen minutes before Commander Lazarescu pops his head out of his office.

“For those of you who don’t need to stick around, why don’t you head on home and stop distracting the people trying to work?”

Usually, Natasha watches as almost everyone snatches up their briefcases or backpacks and sprints out before the commander can change his mind. It’s not until Bob puts a hand on her chair that she realizes she’s still sitting. “That’s us,” he says gently, as if he’s worried that she’ll startle.

With a heavy sense of dread in her stomach, Natasha shoulders her backpack. She gives a small wave to Sherlock who lifts his hand in acknowledgment.

“I’m headed home to freshen up before meeting up with Fanboy,” Bob tells her in the parking lot. “Text you later?”

Natasha gives him a playful shove. “You better! It’s not like I’m doing anything.”

His eyebrows shoot up, and he hacks a laugh. “According to you or according to Hangman?”

She flips him off then throws her arms around him. “Tell Fanboy hey for me.”

Bob’s face is scarlet when she lets go. “Yeah, will do.” He swallows and flexes his shaking hands in and out of fists.

“Hey!” she tells him. “It’s a Valentine’s Day date, not a haunted house.”

He lets out a slow breath but finds it in him to smile. “Says the woman who’s been acting like she got sentenced to the gallows for the last two weeks.”

“I’m making an exception for you.” Becoming more serious, she squeezes his forearm reassuringly. “It’s Fanboy. I’m pretty sure he’s just going to be really glad to see you.”

“Thanks.” He rubs the side of his nose awkwardly. “And, I didn’t think I’d ever say this but–try not to give Hangman too hard of a time? He’s really trying.”

Bob says it nicely, but she still feels chastised because he’s right. “I’ll let him know to thank you for my good behavior.”

And as much as she hates with a capital ‘H’ Valentine’s Day, Natasha can’t resist calling after him to take pictures of his date.

The apartment feels extra empty when she gets home. It will probably be at least an hour or two before Jake gets off from work. That should be enough time to run to the commissary to get the specific ingredients she needs for the King Ranch chicken casserole recipe Beth gave her and have it in the oven.

But Natasha is halfway across the living room when the bedroom door opens. So much for her surprise. “I thought you were–.” She freezes, trying to make sense of what she’s seeing.

Because it’s not Jake who’s walking toward her in jeans and a snugly fitted, long sleeve gray shirt she picked out for him to wear instead of his hideous print shirts.

“Bradley?”

“Yeah,” he says, lips quirked beneath his mustache. “Thought I’d surprise you.”

And then she shrieks and launches herself at him. Rooster scoops her up easily and clutches her as they kiss, the months they’ve been apart slowly receding as she’s reminded of the taste of his mouth, the thickness of his arms, and of course, the soft tickle of his mustache. He’s trying to kiss her, hold her, and wipe her tears all at once.

“I missed you so much,” she sobs, burying her face in his neck and gripping the back of his shirt.

“Well, I guess we know who she loves more now,” Jake laughs as he joins them. He kisses her forehead and rubs her back as Rooster rocks her. She didn’t realize how much of her heart had been missing when Bradshaw wasn’t with them.

“For someone who hates Valentine’s Day as much as you,” Jake starts.

“Shut up, Jake,” she and Bradley say in unison.

“I’m assuming you were going to change out of this?” Rooster asks, plucking her bra strap through her khaki shirt.

She closes her eyes and soaks in the rumble of his voice in his chest. “Just hold me,” Natasha hums, hugging him even tighter.

“Come on.” He turns around and carries her back to the bedroom. She remembers something and lifts her head, leaving her chin to rest on his shoulder.

Jake follows them, and she meets his eyes so he knows how much this means to her. “This goes on my list of dos.”

He beams with such relief and elation that her heart thumps so hard it feels like a kick in her chest. When they fall into bed, she makes sure to pull Jake in first while Bradley unbuttons her shirt. She massages his scalp, just above the nape of his neck, the way she knows he likes. His eyes are heavy-lidded watching her shirt fall open to reveal the dark green bra she wore knowing it’s his favorite.

“I might not tell you enough how good you are to me,” she says barely above a whisper so it’s only for him. His gaze jumps back to her face. “But I want you to know that I see it. I know it. Every single day. Not just today.”

Shyly, she kisses the corner of his mouth. It’s the closest she’s come to telling him that she loves him. Jake cups her face, stroking his thumb over her cheek. He stares at her intently, unwaveringly focused as he is whenever she finally gets around to opening up to him. “Don’t worry, Birdy. I get you.”

And for a brief flash, she’s terrified of a future without these two to hold onto. Instinctively, she reaches up to grab his hand and wrist. Maybe Jake sees it or feels it too because he kisses her like he’s afraid of what will happen if he lets go.

Natasha realizes Bradley has stilled, fingers hooked into the button above her belt while he watches them. He gives them a goofy smile when they notice him. “My two commitment phobes are so cute together.”

She threatens to kick him in the head.

Later, Jake disappears to the kitchen while Natasha stays curled up against Bradley with the blankets pulled haphazardly over them. He winds his legs around and through hers and from time to time drops light kisses along her bare shoulder and neck.

“I’ve missed holding you, Sash,” he tells her.

“Me too. How long are you here?”

“Til Sunday. The CO needed someone to go to Washington with him, and I volunteered. Maybe do something with that Poli Sci major I spent four years on.”

She rubs the arms wrapped tightly around her middle and tries not to think about how short that is. He’s here now and it’s more time than she was expecting just a few hours ago.

Jake returns with a bowl of grapes, complaining that Rooster is too messy of an eater to be trusted with anything else. She ducks while they tussle over the bowl before Bradley settles the fight by pulling Jake in for a kiss. These fools are making this stupid holiday bearable.

Natasha wakes up to an empty bed and growling stomach the next morning. Beneath the mouthwatering aroma of French toast and bacon, their room is musky with the smell of sex. She takes a quick shower and opts for one of Jake’s sweatshirts.

Her guys are in the kitchen, apparently cooking up a storm. Bradley’s whisking what looks like two cartons worth of eggs while Jake carves an entire cantaloupe for a platter already lined with strawberries. There’s a half cut loaf of challah for the French toast and what looks like waffle or pancake mix.

“Did I miss something?” she asks.

Jake looks up and grins. “We have about thirty minutes to enjoy the fact you’re not wearing underwear before it gets awkward.”

“Bob and Fanboy are coming over for breakfast,” Bradley clarifies.

“Oh!” She should have guessed. “Can I help?”

Bradley glances at Jake. “Not in that. He’s already distracted. We’ve got this while you get dressed.”

Natasha giggles at Jake’s scowl but heeds Bradley’s request. She dries her hair and returns in jeans and a crew neck sweater just as the doorbell rings.

“I got it!” she calls.

“Phoenix!” Fanboy raises the bottles of champagne he’s holding in each hand when she opens the door. She immediately looks to his neck for any lovebites, but there’s no hint there of last night went for him and Bob who cradles two more bottles of champagne. “So were you surprised?” Fanboy asks, giving her a one armed hug on his way in.

“Bob told me you were coming,” she laughs. “Many times.” Bob goes bright red and narrows his eyes at her. “But it’s good to see you.

Fanboy bumps her arm with his elbow. “No, I meant about Rooster.”

“Ohhh. I–.”

But Rooster and Jake pop out of the kitchen then and there’s a commotion while they all say hello and Fanboy presents them with the bottles of champagne. Fanboy knew Rooster was coming?

“Let me get those so you can make yourself at home,” Jake offers, collecting the alcohol from Fanboy and Bob. He ushers everyone toward the living room while Rooster and Fanboy clap one another on the shoulder.

Bob lingers by her in the entryway. “Did you know Rooster was coming?” she checks.

He rubs the sides of his thighs, which means he’s thinking of a way to tell the truth without lying. “I might have heard something. But I guess I, uh, was a little distracted.”

The doorbell rings again. “Can you get that, Birdy?” Hangman calls.

“I should help with the mimosas.” Bob hurries after everyone else

Becoming increasingly suspicious, Natasha opens the door and she’s less surprised than she should be to see Payback on her doorstep.

“Are you serious?” she demands.

“Hey, Phoenix.” He hugs her then steps inside and Natasha’s mouth falls open.

“Holy shit motherfucker!” The din behind her goes quiet.

Mel, Payback’s very much pregnant fiancée, looks torn between being annoyed and amused. “I guess we should have given you a heads up,” she says heavily, tucking her long locs behind her ear. Even pregnant, she’s effortlessly beautiful and stylish in bold purple lipstick, an oversized marigold cardigan, and a flowing cream dress that bring out the rich darkness of her skin.

“Heads up about–you motherfucker,” crows Jake. “Congratulations!”

“What’s happening?” Rooster yells from the kitchen while Mel embraces Natasha around her baby bump and the others offer their congratulations.

“Looks like Payback’s been busy, Pecan,” Jake calls back. Natasha elbows him in the stomach under the guise of making space for Mel to come in. He grunts and wraps his arms around her from behind.

“When’s Maverick getting here?” she guesses.

He kisses her neck. “They hit traffic but should be here soon. Apparently with Amelia’s boyfriend.” She looks back at him with a raised brow and he lifts his own and gives her a wicked smile. Jake kisses her on the mouth. “Bradley’s going to be stressed now that almost everyone’s here so I better get back to work. Can you make sure everyone behaves?”

“As long as you’re busy, I don’t have to worry about that.”

“That’s my girl,” he grins. He pats her butt as they part ways, and she notices Payback watching.

“That looked cozy,” he leads with an impish smirk.

“Considering how cozy it looks like you got, I think you ought to spare me,” she warns amiably. “And when were you going to say something?”

“We just did, didn’t we?” He becomes more serious. “It was a bit of a rough start so we figured it was better to wait.”

Natasha makes a note to check in with him later when Fanboy isn’t swooping in with a wine glass of mimosa. “Glad we got to find out in person,” she says for now.

Payback nods appreciatively.

Mel is already badgering Fanboy about his evening with Bob, and since Bob slipped away before she could ask, Natasha happily teams up with her to get the details from the two of them. Fanboy, normally the more talkative of the two, remains as mum as her back seater beyond the vague details of dinner on the coast.

“We went stargazing,” Bob finally offers shyly after Natasha warns him that she won’t stop Jake from extracting the information by any obnoxious means necessary if he holds out on her. Fanboy blushes and looks down into his drink. That might not sound like an eventful date to anyone who doesn’t know that he can read the night sky like it’s an epic adventure, his knowledge of the constellations and the myths and folklore that inspired their names is practically encyclopedic. Tentatively, Bob rubs Fanboy’s shoulder and the bashful look they share melts Natasha’s Valentine’s Day hardened heart. A little.

She’s glad now that she suggested Bob draw something for him so they each had a personal gift to exchange.

“I hear California’s a perfect place for that,” Mel says, as if she did her own share of orchestrating the night.

“Very perfect,” Bob agrees happily and so sweetly that Natasha doesn’t have the heart to embarrass him with questions about how or where the night ended.

They’re all helping to set out breakfast on the table when Maverick arrives with Penny, Amelia, and her boyfriend, Devin, who manages not to cringe at walking into a room full of adults. He hangs back on the edge of the enthusiastic circle Maverick, Penny, and Amelia form around Rooster and then Payback and Mel.

Maverick shakes everyone’s hands but reserves hugs for her and Jake. “Were you surprised?” he asks her, eyes dancing.

Natasha wrinkles her nose. “Did everyone know except me?”

“I can only speak for myself,” he says, patting her on the shoulder, but it’s clear he knows more than he’s letting on.

“Please eat before the food gets cold!” Jake announces. “Rooster came all this way to wake up early and feed you all.”

Everyone crowds around, complimenting him on how delicious everything looks while Jake brags about the fruit he sliced and teasingly apologizes for the lack of red, pink, and hearts because we all know how much Phoenix hates Valentine’s Day. Fortunately, Bradley knocks him upside the head and stuffs a piece of bacon in his mouth to shut him up.

She knows she should share him, but Natasha selfishly enjoys cuddling up under Bradley’s arm on the sofa while they eat. Maverick lounges on the other side of Bradley, peppering him with questions about his deployment and making him wince at a video of Amelia learning to drive his Bronco. Payback fills one of the living room chairs with his long legs stretched out in front of him and Fanboy and Bob squeeze into the other, shyly bumping arms while they eat and trying to pretend that they’re not looking at one another as much as they are. Across the room, Amelia and Devin crowd onto Rooster’s piano bench but are careful to leave some space between them, close to Penny and Mel who sit at a clear corner of the table talking animatedly. Jake bounces around, playing host but also claiming the center of attention. Sometimes he settles at Rooster’s feet, only to bounce up again. The room feels so full, in the best way possible, with their friends who have come from near and far to be together for just a few days.

Some time after breakfast, Maverick proposes a game of dogfight football. Mel insists on playing even though Payback complains it’s not fair because no one’s going to tackle the pregnant woman. Rather than take her down though, Jake eventually picks her up and runs her and the ball in the opposite direction.

“How’d you do it?” Natasha asks that night after the house has cleared. Their friends’ presence lingers in the warmth of the air, their chatter echoes in her ears.

“It was mostly Jake’s idea,” Bradley tells her while she unloads the dishwasher, once again wearing only Jake’s sweatshirt now that it doesn’t matter whether they get distracted. “I just wanted to surprise you and he did the rest.”

Jake’s making their bed even though she argued they were going to change the sheets tomorrow anyway.

“What was the rest?”

Bradley takes a platter from her and reaches over her to put it on the shelf beyond her arm span, pressing their bodies together. “Convincing you to take Valentine’s Day off since you were so adamant about him not being allowed to do anything. We knew Bob was our best bet, but it was Payback’s idea to kill two birds with one stone and suggest that Fanboy make Valentine’s Day plans here.”

He continues to help her put away the dishes. “Jake invited Payback and Mel to come out since he had leave anyway and then invited Maverick. Once you switched shifts, it was smooth sailing from there.”

“Was Jake upset that I wouldn’t let him plan anything?”

Bradley looks over at her, surprised. “Well he planned something, didn’t he?”

“I mean before you knew you were coming home?”

He stacks plates on the counter while he thinks about his answer. “I think he wanted something special, yes. But that’s our dickhead, he likes to put on a show.”

There’s a heavy weight in Natasha’s stomach while they finish cleaning up the kitchen. Jake did so much to make Bradley’s visit special for her and because she’s been so intractable about acknowledging a certain day, he’s had to do it all by himself.

The only things he got in return were a bunch of threats and worry that even for such a wonderful surprise, she’d be angry with him. Natasha can’t stand Valentine’s Day but she also can’t stand the thought of Jake worrying that one more thing he wants could make everything fall apart.

Because he and Bradley never bring up the want they agreed not to ask her to give them, if this lasts that long. It’s what led to Jake’s argument with his parents in Texas and why the two of them spent all afternoon hovering over Mel jockeying for the role of favorite uncle. They wouldn’t give Amelia a hard time about dating but, like the dads they wanted to be, they did make a point of pulling her aside within listening distance of Devin to be sure he knew they would know if he didn’t respect her.

“This is not what I expected to find when it got quiet in here,” Jake drawls as he strolls into the kitchen. He massages Bradley’s shoulders and places a kiss between his shoulder blades. “Or were you two desperately waiting for me?”

“We were just talking,” Bradley says easily.

Natasha tugs the cuffs of his sweater over her fists. “I’m sorry I made such a big deal about Valentine’s Day, Jake.”

Jake looks taken aback. His hands drop from Bradley’s shoulder, and he gives him a sharp look. “I don’t mind that you hate it. I mean, yes, people gave me shit for not having plans but that’s their problem, not ours.”

“But we—I didn’t do anything for you .”

A soft blush spreads across his cheeks, and he takes out his phone. After a few taps, the strum of her ukulele and the notes of Rooster’s piano fill the kitchen. It’s the cover of Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” that they recorded for his birthday. “It’s my most played song,” he admits. “Whenever I’m missing one or both of you or sometimes just because.”

Jake teased them for weeks after they sent it to him, so much so that Natasha started to feel embarrassed she’d done something so sappy. Knowing that it means so much to him makes her want to give him the finger for giving them such a hard time and elated that they came up with something he holds onto so dearly.

Bradley touches her shoulder. “We like that you get more excited about all the small things we do for you every day, that you text your mom to tell her that Jake vacuumed or put your clothes away or that I called right when you needed me.”

“Or that the easiest way to make your day is to iron your uniform,” Jake adds. “You’d think we’d bought you every diamond in the world.”

Feeling self-conscious, Natasha hugs herself. Their earnest expressions while they try to sooth her without saying the words they know scare her make her heart swell large enough to make her dizzy. Somewhere along the way, maybe while she watched her parents’ marriage fall apart, cliché as that sounds, she stopped believing people mean the things they say about love. Or maybe it was high school when guys wanted to date her until they found out she went to community college for her math and science courses. It was possibly something wrong with her, she thought sometimes, when her college girlfriend broke up with her for refusing to put anyone before her career. All the grand gestures and words could add up to nothing but hollow promises, regrets, distance, and heartbreak.

She knows that months ago, Jake and Bradley told one another they love each other. Jake, although he pretends not to, needs the affirmation and Bradley doesn’t have many people to say it to him. In all of this, they have made sure to creep along at her own pace.

It’s not on Valentine’s Day that she feels particularly loved or loving, but in these mundane, normal moments when it occurs to her that Bradley and Jake are the only two people she might not mind giving up space to be on her own for.

Her heart is in her throat when she realizes what she is about to do.

Seeing her expression, Jake steps toward her and opens his arms. “Hey, it’s okay, Sash.”

“I love you,” she blurts. “Both of you, I guess. I love both of you.”

Bradley chokes.

“Did you say what I think you did?” Jake asks, mouth hung wide open in disbelief.

She rushes to get Bradley a glass of water because Jake is too stunned to move or help. Then Jake lets out a whoop and tries to hug her and clap Bradley on the back at the same time, which only leads to her spilling half the water down their shirts while Bradley spirals into a laughing coughing fit. By the time he can breathe again, she’s crushed into the circle of their arms with kisses raining down on her like her plane caught in a hailstorm.

“I love you, Natasha Elena Trace,” Jake says into her hair. Turning his cheek to the top of her head, he adds, “And you, too, Bradley Nicholas Bradshaw. Just to make it official.”

“I know, Honkytonk. And it feels good to finally hear you say it, Sash,” Bradley admits. “I love you.”

Jake walks around for the rest of the night like an incandescent light bulb. Every time he looks at her, his face melts into a dopey, dazed smile.

In the morning, they’ll drive Rooster to Point Mugu to meet his CO but Natasha already feels the hole he’ll leave behind when he’s gone. Huddled together on the sofa going through Bradley’s pictures of his deployment in the Pacific and Indian Ocean, they put off going to bed until Jake breaks and kisses Bradley like he’ll lose him forever. Bradley clings to him, and Natasha regrets not spending every moment of his brief leave telling them how much she loves them.

The playfulness of their lovemaking the night before is gone, replaced with deep longing and a fierce determination to wring everything they can from the time they’ve been granted. Over Bradley’s shoulder, Natasha watches Jake’s composure shatter with ecstasy and grief and her chest explodes knowing that he shows her the many layers he keeps so carefully guarded from everyone else.

In the darkness, Natasha runs her fingers through Bradley’s waves. Jake sprawls across him, head cradled to his chest. They murmur promises that she can’t resist tying her hopes to until they fall asleep in one another’s arms.

Everyone comes by again for one final parting in the morning. Payback and Mel promise them they’ll be among the first to know when she goes into labor. Natasha tells a blushing Fanboy that he better treat Bob well or she’ll fly to Virginia herself to set him straight, prompting Fanboy to ask Payback whose side he’s on because he didn’t threaten to do the same thing to Bob for him.

Once Payback, Mel, Fanboy, and Bob head off to San Francisco, Bradley, Jake, and Natasha have to say their real goodbyes. H e kisses Jake first. “Thanks for making this the best weekend, Honkytonk. Love you.”

“Love you too, Pecan. Keep giving ‘em hell,” Jake says thickly. He clears his throat as he steps back and busies himself with Bradley’s suitcase.

“Sash?” Bradley opens his arms to her and she flings herself into them.

“For the record,” she says hoarsely, trying not to cry, “I still hate Valentine’s Day, but I’m happy you came, Roo.”

“I love you, sweetheart.” The words envelop her like a hug she’ll be able to carry with her long after the shape of him fades from her arms.

“I love you back.” He lifts her chin and kisses her, and when he finally pulls away she rises onto her toes to hold him as long as possible.

“I love hearing you say it.” Bradley kisses her on the forehead.

Outside, Maverick, Penny, Amelia, and Devin are waiting for them. Maverick drives Natasha’s SUV with Amelia up front so that Natasha, Bradley, and Jake can sit in the backseat together. And even though it’s a squeeze and slightly uncomfortable, the ride still goes by too fast.

All three of them put on their sunglasses when they climb out of the car at the Mugu airstrip. They give Bradley one last round of hugs before his CO arrives.

“Didn’t realize you had such an entourage, Rooster,” Captain Brewer calls as he approaches. “Good to see you, Maverick.”

Maverick shakes his hand. “Pacman.” He introduces Penny, Amelia, and Devin.

Pacman seems unsurprised to see Natasha and Jake there but if he has any thoughts or suspicions, he keeps them to himself. He congratulates Jake on his promotion then gives Bradley five minutes to board. There’s another rush of hugs and then Bradley is hurrying away.

Jake and Natasha say their goodbyes to Maverick, Penny, Amelia, and Devin and promise to visit when they can get away. Finally, it’s just the two of them waiting against the car until Rooster takes off and the plane climbs beyond their sight.

“Ready?” Jake asks.

“No,” she admits. It’s weird but as wonderful as it is to see Bradley for a few days, the reminder of what she’s missing aches more now than it has in any of the months since she’d last seen him. At least she still has Jake, she reminds herself. Bradley is all on his own.

The tears come when she gets behind the wheel, and Jake rubs her back until the sobs fade sniffles. “Here,” he reaches for something on the door and hands her a thin square of red tissue paper. “It’s from Bob,” he protests when she gives him a wet glare.

It’s a watercolor of the three of them on a sofa. Jake kisses a blushing Bradley’s cheek while reaching for her on one end while an angry Natasha sits with her arms and legs crossed on the other. There are little hearts above the kiss and Natasha’s head. Across the bottom he simply wrote, Valentine’s Day.

She laughs and shows it to Jake. He takes the painting, holding it carefully as if it’s made of glass. “Will you let me frame this?”

“Of course,” Natasha agrees, starting the car and adjusting the seat. She looks over at him and her heart double beats at the soft expression on his face while he stares at Bob’s artwork. “It’s a good reminder.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Birdy.”

“Fuck you. No.”

He grins. “What if I try again next year?”

“I’ll hate it then too.”

“Okay. What if I call it the anniversary of you saying I love you. Can I celebrate that ?”

“I’ll think about it,” she says finally, slowing for a red light. Natasha looks over at him and holds up a finger. “But if–and it’s no guarantee–I say yes, there are no flowers, no hearts, no chocolate, no pink, no red, no diamonds, no candlelight dinners, no couples massages, nothing sappy and stupid and if you ever fucking propose on Valentine’s Day I will say no.”

He nods brightly, and it’s both annoying and endearing how hard it is to deter him. “You have a whole year to work on your list of don’ts, and I’ll follow every one of them. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” Jake’s mouth turns up in a mischievous grin. “But also, you’ve thought about us proposing?”

“No!” Natasha shouts, pressing the accelerator a little too hard on the light switching to green. But she has, even if she’s not ready to admit that . “It was–hypothetical.”

“Okay,” he lets it go and carefully rewraps Bob’s gift.

Natasha hates Valentine’s Day but for Jake and Bradley, she’d be willing to go through so much worse.

Tag list: @melodiousoblivionao3

Ode to Phoenix Masterlist

#ode to phoenix #28 days of phoenix #natasha phoenix trace fic #natasha trace fic #phoenix fic #natasha phoenix trace #natasha trace x jake seresin x bradley bradshaw #natasha trace x bradley bradshaw x jake seresin #natasha phoenix trace x jake hangman seresin x bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfic #tgm fic #tgm fanfic #tgm fanfiction

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 1 year

Note

Hello!! Can you do Eddie with a Muslim girl? please 💕

Hi there! I tried to get a few more details about this request-made a post a couple of times, but didn't get a response. I do apologize if this isn't what you had in mind.

Eddie Munson x Muslim Girl Reader

Send me request here! Currently writing for Eddie Munson. I write for a variety of reader inserts (male, female, gender neutral, POC too).

The more details you had to your request, the better it is for me. EX: “What about some fluff for Eddie after he’s had a long day?”

Feel free to look through my masterlist here!

______________________________

It starts with just a note.

Hi.

You know the scratchy handwriting anywhere, after spending a month next to him in Algebra and swapping math notes so Eddie could get the equation down right, you've learned to spot the handwriting nearly a mile away.

But this, what you have with Eddie now all started five months ago at the start of a new school year and the two of you landed in History together. You weren't the type to sit in the back but you didn't love History. You were good at it, but what they taught wasn't always the full truth. It'd been picked over and watered down.

So you sat in the back, to avoid the gaze of Mr. Brown, planning to do just enough to pass the class without raising the alarm of your parents. Eddie gently taps your arm as you're doodling in the corner of your notebook and by the time you look up, peering around to see a folded piece of paper slid across the desk towards you.

You take it, as discreetly as you can from Eddie's retreating fingers and unfold the squares to reveal the single word on the college lined notebook paper.

Hi, Eddie.

Thanks again for your help last year. Promise this year I won't need as much help.

You snicker as you read the note at Eddie's underline the word "as". He's smart, easily distracted and clearly the system's not designed to accomodate people like him. But you know he's good under the surface of leather jacket and wild hair. You grin to yourself as you look back up at the board. Mr. Brown is deep into a lecture and you drop your gaze to look down to respond. I'm always happy to help.

You're nice. Sweet, too. Do you still have Wednesday's free?

You read over the note, freezing for a moment. Eddie's got his head buried in his notebook when you look over to him. I do. Why? What's up?

You slide your respond back over to Eddie and for someone who seems to buried in their notes, Eddie's hand shoots out for the response like a bat out of hell. You smile to yourself, looking back up tp the board and then jot down another line of notes.

Like to make it a long standing study date if it's okay?

Yeah, that's okay. Do you mind coming over? Parents are a little strict about it. Usual time?

You normally, last year, with Eddie would tutor him after school at the library--but given recent events in the town, your parents wanted you home unless there was a group of you out and they knew everyone. You tried not to ruffle feathers. It would only make matters worse.

You sure your parents won't mind? I don't scream bring to your house and have to interact with your parents material.

They're cool--well about some things. Our ritual sacrifice will have to wait for another day.

Eddie giggles, no one outside of the two of you seem to really notice but he fucking giggles as he reads your response. Damn. Was hoping it get it done sooner this year. But as long as you're sure, I'll be over at the usual time.

And with just a simple note, you and Eddie have landed yourself here. Every Wednesday, Eddie pulls into your driveway promptly at 5 but always lingers in the van for a few minutes to make sure he's not catching your family in the middle of prayer. He pulls out his backpack from the floor of the passenger seat and prays to whomever is above that the smell of his pail hasn't lingered too bad.

When he thinks the coast is clear, he piles out of the van, knocks on the front door is always immediately greeted by your father. It's always with a smile. "Come, come in," your father greets as always patting Eddie on the shoulder.

The house always smells alive--spices Eddie can't put a name too, but your mother is always happy to offer whatever she's been cooking or snacks. Eddie takes them with a smile and settles down at the kitchen table. And like clock work as Eddie settles down at the kitchen table, you come down the hallway, voice huffing as your sister clings to you.

"I swear if you steal another one, our parents will have to bury you."

Eddie laughs, fingers toying at the rings of his notebooks as you come down the hallway. You smile at him, books in hands and just behind you is your sister, a clip in her scarf that Eddie is yours. Clearly it's not that important because she's still wearing it but Eddie likes watching the way you and your sister interact. You settle down across from him and your sister waves at him. He waves back.

"Where did we leave off?" you ask with a huff, watching the way Eddie's gaze softens when he turns it full to you. You're not sure what the look is supposed to mean, but it makes your stomach flutter just a little.

Eddie blinks, dropping his gaze back down to his notebooks. "World World II I'm pretty sure," he answers.

"Lovely."

You watch Eddie shift in the wooden chair and the bangs start to stick on his forehead. The house is warm with the addition of the oven going and your mother at the stove. Eddie always shows up, no matter how hot it is outside in a flannel.

"Is it too warm?" you ask, getting up to fix a glass of water and grab some paper towel off the role.

Eddie clears his throat after taking a sip. "Thanks. I'm okay."

"The house is not going to go into flames if you take off the layer. I promise. The tattoos are fine, you know."

Eddie ducks his head. "Just-just wanted to be respectful," he laughs.

"You literally sit here for like an hour and a half once a week and you don't even need help in History. You could be anywhere, but you're here. You don't have to prove anything else." You motion at the flannel. "Go on."

Eddie's cheeks turn pink and it's not with the heat of the kitchen before he slowly peels himself out of the red flannel that he stole from Wayne.

"Tada," you laugh. "You flames, no Hell bursting wide open. I don't believe the rumors anyhow."

"Thanks," Eddie whispers. "For giving me the chance."

"Of course."

He realizes as he starts to form the words that he probably shouldn't ask here. But also it doesn't hurt to ask here either. "Think I can stretch my luck and get a date?"

At that you laugh as you hear your dad groan and push off the sofa. "Gotta ask the big guy first," you nod over your shoulder.

"What's this I hear about a date? Where are we going?"

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x muslim reader #h writes #stranger things

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pyropsychiccollector · 1 year

Text

Makoto: You don't know true pain. (人◕ω◕)*** All these... these... squabbling girls. Fighting over the last shreds of my sanity. (人◕ω◕)***

Nagisa: ...

Nagisa: n___n;;;;;;;;;; Nope. I wouldn't know what you're going through. You have it... so hard... n___n;;;;;;;;;;

Makoto: Yes. You are more understanding than most, Nagisa-kun. It's been getting worse and worse these past few years. All these new girls showing up. New shenanigans to deal with. And I'm expected to defuse the conflicts when they come up, keep everything civilized... It's... It's... It's becoming too much, Nagisa-kun. I can't take it!!! (人◕ω◕)*** I mean, 100 girls?! When will they be satisfied?!?!?!

Nagisa: W-Well... I know that's just one gig, though... With that... Vergil guy? I mean, don't you have other contracts that are less... stressful? n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;

Makoto: Oh, sure!!! Remind me of my other obligations!!! Pyro saddles me with five or six girls normally... But even he is open to other "ships". Pyro does favors for Vergil all the time. It never ends!!! (人◕ω◕)*** Even 5-6 is a lot of women to satisfy, don't you understand?!?!

Nagisa: ...

Nagisa: n___n;;;;;;;;;;;; Wh-Why would I know what it's like to juggle several women...? Th-That's crazy...

Makoto: Yes!!!!!!!!! Crazy is what it is!!!!!!!!! I need a break. (人◕ω◕)*** This is where you come in, Nagisa-kun. I had Miu do something useful for once, and create a device that will allow me - us - to swap identities for a week.

Nagisa: ... Identities...? .___. Makoto-san, I don't feel comfortable-

Makoto: (人◕ω◕)*** Just trust me, damnit...!!! It doesn't do anything to our bodies. Like, swap our minds or whatever. ... That's way too obvious. Some of my... girlfriends... would know right away. (人◕ω◕)***

Nagisa: ... *sighs* So what does it... do? >_<

Makoto: I didn't bother listening to Miu's convoluted science-y explanation. But basically it showers us in particles that only we can see. To everyone else, you'll be "Makoto Naegi". And I'll be "Nagisa Shiota". (人◕ω◕) The particles last for a week, and then we go back to our... normal lives. Nobody will know about the swap, the particles are flawless~! \ (人◕ω◕) /

Nagisa: ... ;;;>____> Makoto-san, while this sounds thought out, I'm not sure you've considered that your... girls... might come onto me. And vice-versa.

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) I have thought about such an inevitability. The nice thing is that this week is studying for exams at Hope's Peak, which means that I've put in the usual paperwork for "no touching until exams are over". The girls don't like it when I put my foot down like that... however, they know that I care a lot about following their dreams, and they won't risk the chance to stay at Hope's Peak to goof off with me. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I mean, some members of my... harem... have gone so far as to make clauses in that paperwork that if anyone breaches it, and they get expelled from Hope's Peak, they won't get to continue a relationship with me. It's... very airtight. (๑╹ω╹๑ )***

Nagisa: ... Okay, fine, but Kunugigaoka isn't in the middle of exams right now... I don't think you're ready for my "usual daily life". ;;;>_____> You should probably swap with someone like... like Hajime-san...

Makoto: No!!!!!!!!!!! (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** *coughs* I mean. Swapping with Hajime would be no point. I'd still be at Hope's Peak. And I'm trying to get a break. You understand. (๑╹ω╹๑ )***

Nagisa: I r-really don't.... n___n;;;;;;;;; B-But if you're really insistent this is the only way...

Makoto: It is. (๑╹ω╹๑ )************* No one will think to look for me in another universe. It's. Perfect. \ (๑╹ω╹๑ ) /

Nagisa: ... I hope you don't regret this... n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

~*~

Makoto: Good, good... That fool Nagisa agreed to switch, just as planned. He thinks the particles will just wear off, but in truth...? They don't wear off unless I say they can wear off. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I'm never going back. Never. Now... how does Nagisa usually start his days...?

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) His mom seems nice. Nagisa-san was surely overexaggerating. He's just jealous my life is more hellish. I'll be fine.

Hiromi: Oh, Nagisa, sweetie~ I picked up a new dress that would just look adorable on you. Let's try it on before you go to school. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Makoto: ... D... Dress? >_< Um... Mom... I'm... I'm a boy...?

Makoto: Q_______Q Wh-What is.... I can't... oh god, I'm gonna die....! *five minutes later, after getting his head bashed into the table for disobeying Hiromi, and forced into the dress...* ...

Hiromi: n.n I was spot on~ You look amazing~!

Makoto: ... Why does it feel like this was made for my height...? ._____. *thinks back to Nagisa* .... Oh yeah. We were about the same height, weren't we... Damn. @_____@*

Hiromi: Of course it was made for your height, sweetie. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) You should try wearing that, today.

Makoto: *scared to bring this up, given he's still got a bruised forehead* Q______Q D-Doesn't Kunugigaoka h-have a dress code, m-mom...?

Hiromi: ... Oh yeah. Well, it'll be here when you get home tonight. :3

Makoto: ................. *thinking about ways to run away from home without getting the cops or this crazy bitch after him* O-O-Okay, mom... n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

~*~

Nagisa: Makoto-san said exams are coming up, but he never said what to study... .______. *a tad underwhelmed by the walk from the dorms to the main campus; he's used to walking up and down a mountain* Well, the school's nice enough... I mean, Makoto-san was running away from the girls, apparently, but still...

Mukuro: *drops down to his side from a nearby tree* >_< Makoto-kun. Was one of the girls breaching the contract?

Nagisa: *perceived Mukuro up in the tree and just didn't say anything because he figured it was a part of Makoto's daily life* H-Huh...? Oh, um... no... Just thinking out loud. Sorry, Miss. n___n;;;;;;;;;;

Mukuro: *squints at "Makoto"* ... I usually surprise you more when I jump out like that... Are you sure you're alright?

Nagisa: **Oh, duh! Makoto-san doesn't have assassin training! Gah. I'm all over the place today...** n___n;;;;;;;; I-I'm fine, M-Miss. J-Just a lot on my mind...

Mukuro: ...

Nagisa: ...

Mukuro:...

Nagisa: ...

Mukuro: >_< I'm gonna take you to see Mikan, just in case.

Nagisa: Q____Q **Crap, crap, crap...! M-Makoto-san said these particle things would fool everyone, but still...! What if he's wrong?!** I, uh.... don't have the time, Miss...! I-I've gotta go!!! *barely pulls away from Mukuro moving to grab him, and he darts off without a destination in mind*

Mukuro: *chasing after him easily enough, but can tell Makoto's a lot faster than she remembered* >_<*** Makoto-kun, just come with me!! I promise Mikan-chan won't give you injections again!!

Nagisa: *isn't even listening as he runs into the small forests around/on campus and puts his parkour skills to good work* Q______Q This chick isn't Koro-sensei, and I can still tell she's good...! I'm almost curious if Mister Karasuma would be able to keep up with her...?! *runs over to a cliff without thinking, catches himself at the edge at the last minute and swerves a hard right*

Mukuro: >_<*** Makoto-ku...! *follows him to the edge of the cliff, but wasn't anticipating that hard right; she falls off into the nearby river*

Makoto: *just keeps running without looking back, knowing not to pity that girl* Q______Q

Mukuro: *coughs up water* ... Makoto-kun's been working out. >_<*** I'm gonna need backup on this one, apparently... *pulls out waterproof-cased phone and makes a call to Peko and Maki*

~*~

Makoto: *pant* *pant* >_<*** Why is their school all the way up on the mountain...? There's a perfectly good campus down there...! *still made it to the top...barely* If Aoi, Sakura, and Gozu-sensei weren't always hounding me about physical fitness, this walk would've killed me...! @____@***

Sugino: You okay, Nagisa? *lightly tossing a baseball into his gloved hand, having casually made the same trek* Ya look a little winded....

Makoto: H-Huh? @______@*** Oh. Um. Yeah. Totally fine. That walk's gonna be the toughest thing I have to do today, so...

Sugino: *squints at "Nagisa"* n___n That's funny. Mister Karasuma's unavailable to teach PE today, so we're stuck with Koro-sensei. Y'know how that worked out, before.

Makoto: Koro...sensei...? >_< Well, he can't be that bad. I've juggled 100 women. That's bad. >_______>

Sugino: *guffaws* 100 women.... Ooh, boy. Don't let Kayano-chan hear you say that~ Well, I'll see you inside, buddy! *walks on ahead*

Makoto: ... *stares after the boy with a twitchy eye* Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this?

Makoto: ... ._________. This is Koro-sensei...? What... What is.... I don't even.... *managed to get to Nagisa's usual desk and sit down, but now he's mumbling incoherently*

Rio: *cocks head* What's up with Nagisa today? He's acting like it's his first day all over again.

Sugino: Beats me. He'd better get his head in the game soon, though! Karma sees him like this, he's in for Hell.

Rio: ... Why?

Sugino: Well, uh.... He mumbled something about juggling 100 women and that nothing would stack up to that. ;;;;;>_____> *he knows he just ratted "Nagisa" out, but better that Rio is on "Nagisa" than on him*

Rio: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Ohoho~...? 100 women, eh... And Kayano-chan thought I was dreaming too big when I said Nagisa could handle more~!

Kaede: What do you mean 100 women?!?!?! Are you poisoning his mind again, Rio?!?!?!

Rio: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) The heart wants what the heart wants, Kayano-chan~

Kaede: What part of no big boobs do you not understand?!?!?!?!?!

Rio: I dunno. Ask Nagisa-kun. (๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )

Makoto: *brain is glitching out from Kaede having Sayaka's voice, and Rio from having Natsumi's voice. ... Not to mention Koro-sensei is still writing stuff up on the board at Mach 20* Q_______Q It'll all be worth it... It'll all be worth it... It'll all be worth it..... *starts rocking back and forth*

~*~

*one week later*

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I changed my mind. I want my life back now.

Nagisa: Eh? But hasn't it been a week...? So won't the particles wear off, anyway? ._________.

Makoto: *ignores that* (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** You didn't tell me you were a psychopath, Nagisa-kun. Training to kill your.... "teacher". Yes. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** That guy's way more of a pervert than certain other people make me out to be. I am normal. NORMAL!!!!!!!!! (๑╹ω╹๑ )***

Nagisa: I did try to warn you... n___n;;;;;;;;; Despite your eccentric friends, you aren't really... the training sort....

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ )********* You should have tried to convince me harder!!! Your mom and your "best friend" treat you like a Barbie doll. Your "teacher" is too fast to comprehend. Your classmates are a barrel of monkeys. Those "main campus" pricks can go play in traffic. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I am never going back. Never.

Nagisa: n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;; Th-That's fine, Makoto-san... Um, I should probably warn you-

Makoto: NO!!!!!!!! I am going to sit in my room for a while and think about how normal my world is. (๑╹ω╹๑ )********* You go away now.

Nagisa: B-But....

Makoto: You go away now!!!!!!!!! *forces Nagisa back through the portal* (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) *sighs as he plops down in his dorm room's office chair* Peace... quiet... solitude....

Mukuro: *climbs in through the window* Ready for training, Makoto-kun? *tilts head*

Makoto: Training?! (╬ಠ益ಠ) I thought I told you I wasn't built for that...?!

Mukuro: ... *tilts head to the other side* But... You've been training with us this week. You were doing pretty good, too.

Makoto: ...

Peko: *can be heard from outside the window* Don't put yourself down, Makoto-kun. We know you can take it now.

Maki: *huffs* Just get out here already, idiot.

Makoto: (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) Nagisa...!

#Danganronpa #Assassination Classroom #Crackfic Crossover #Makoto Naegi #Nagisa Shiota #I did this for funsies.

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