#no matter who you become. what version of yourself you cultivate. you are still Yourself and no one can take that away.
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so according to the rules and from what I understand, if you are the child of two powerful demons or a powerful being, it doesn't matter, you have to achieve everything yourself because the skills and magic will not be inherited to you, maybe only the strength, but beyond that, you inherit nothing and must achieve it for yourself.
I understand that Chenxiang, being a demigod, only inherited strength but had to train anyway. Are there exceptions, or is this the case for everyone? What about Redboy? Or the son of the white snake?
Well in a sense. I have said before that it does affect on what pieces you are that also affects what kind of power you are inclined to have. Like the Scorpion Demon having poison and the Yellow-Tusk Elephant King being able to use his trunk. The same could be said with demon offspring if they have any genetic effects of their partners. Red Boy most likely got his fire performance from his mother Princess Iron Fan having her cave located on Flame Mountain and being able to control them with her wind powers. But when it comes to things like gaining power then YES they would have to train for that on their own. It's like that they are born with the POSSIBILY with being as great as their partners but they are not born automatically with that power, they must train, which could be easier for them in all honestly.
Chenxiang had more natural strength but he didn't know how to use it and thus, in his earlier versions, accidentally killed another boy. He had to be trained by the Thunder God (or Sun Wukong now) in order to master his strength and have the skills and techniques to save his mother. A bow and arrow are a strong weapon to someone with perfect eyesight, but useless if they don't know how to draw the string.
Red Boy is said in the text that he trained with his powers as well, took him 300 years to master his Sahamdi fire, he wasn't just born knowing how to use it. He had strong parents and thus had an advantage but he still practiced long and hard.
Xu Shilin is a later addition to the Legend of the White Snake as the story usually ends in tragedy with White Snake and Green Snake being caught by Fahai who trapped them in a pagoda. It is in the later version does White Snake gives birth to Xu Shilin and he grows up to become strong enough to save his mother from the pagoda. I cannot find anything that really gives a clear story on how or if he was ever trained but from what I gathered that "His filial piety moved heaven, and What Snake was able to get out of the tower and see the sun again." Hard to say if he had anything magical powers to really aid his saving mother or just that his spirit was enough to do so.
From this we can gather that Red Boy, who received formal training in the span of 300 years, is so strong not because of his heritage solely. His parents being power demons does gives him that greater potential but he was only able to live up to that potential because of his hundreds of years of training, making him a threat to even Sun Wukong. Chenxiang was given far less time (I've seen him training from 1 to 3 years) BUT IN THAT TIME he was able to go head to head with Erlang Shen, one of the greatest fighters in heaven. I would like to note that Chenxiang did have both his Axe of Pangu and the Lotus Lantern on his side and perhaps those heavenly treasures were able to help his fight as well. Xu Shilin has such little information and no formal training despite being half-demon half-human. Most likely he would have great potential but I cannot find any stories of him fighting Fahai head-on or not and thus cannot say how powerful his true strength can be. What I can say is that without a teacher he was given no feats of strength or anything of physical or magical powers. To be this suggests that without proper training he could not live up to that potential.
From this, we can gather that having cultivated parents can give you a potential boost, but without former training then it cannot be utilized. Erlang and Chengxiang are prime example of how having a cultivated parent can increase your potential, Erlang Shen being one (if not the) strongest gods in heaven, and Chenxiang being able to learn and cultivate in accelerated speeds. Both being quite young in their training to save their mothers. Red Boy having two powerful demons was able to utilize his potential though it took far longer, centuries at that (we don't see a lot of natural-born demons and I personally believe that it is harder for demons to conceive a child with other demons compared to having a child with a human, hence why they are target more often for spouses (that is just a theory)). And sadly I have no examples of what power Xu Shilin could have had as he had no formal training and thus what potential he could have can only be speculated.
#legend of the white snake#white snake#green snake#lotus lantern#liu chenxiang#erlang shen#yang jian#red boy#honghaier#hong hai er#hong hai'er#Xu Shilin#anon ask#anonymous#anon#ask#jttw#journey to the west#xiyouji
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do you ever scare yourself?
like do you ever get that feeling in your chest and stomach like you are inevitably marching to something godawful and that you need to stop immediately because you know the consequences are going to snowball and become horrible and once it hits its going to leave a permanent mark on who you are as a whole,
that its going to destroy the footprint and legacy you leave behind? and you tell yourself that "I can just abandon everything and it wont happen" but at the same time you fear leaving behind all the work and life that you grew to own as a part of you and to chip away such a strong part of you would be to delete an entire segment of your character,
then ultimately you are torn between chipping yourself away or enduring the possibility of dooming yourself and by gripping onto who you are you end up running face first into that issue and then you realize "I just fucked over my whole self with an irreversible problem that would have just stopped if I didn't continue" but you just... couldn't stop yourself?
kind of? this is another example where I am not a good control subject because I feel things similar to this, but I love it, and I seek it out. it's a matter of fact that every few years I completely overhaul my life, for various reasons each time, and yeah, it's scary and it feels like utterly destroying everything but at the same time that's exactly what I want, you know? I'm not interested in a legacy. I'm not interested in leaving a footprint. if I do, fantastic. but ultimately I'm more concerned with myself, and what I want, and what I need in order to achieve it. I'm not out here trying to safeguard or immortalise anything. I do feel like that leads to a trap -- that you eventually cultivate so much around you that it becomes impossible to leave. relationships, reputations, even physical belongings... they can all eventually become something that ties a person down, and so I don't like to maintain them or seek them out. I don't ever want to be at a point where I can't just change things up again.
obviously sometimes I'm very aware that my decisions are absolutely fucking insane and not a good idea by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't particularly care. I'm not recklessly running towards it assuming it'll all turn out OK; it's more I accept that this is the price I have to pay to do what I want. I've always said that everything worth doing is scary. I guess it's because I see all of the things I've done and the versions of myself that I've been as still me. I don't believe in "chipping away" at myself. I'm still the person who did it, and who wanted it, once. just because my priorities or desires have changed doesn't mean I'm no longer that person. I'm capable of being all these people at once, and none of them are any less me than the other. I'm also capable of existing in ways that are completely contradictory, because the human experience isn't binary. I'm capable of all of it, all the time, at once. I'm here to explore as many sides of myself as possible, and I'm not concerned with matters of identity or "the real me". these questions are far too small to even begin to explain it all.
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what would you say to a person who lives with an abusive family but can't leave them? i know this is a typology blog but i like your general life advice
Oh my... This is one of the asks I would have wanted to answer wayyy earlier.
First of all, the classic, care for your basic needs. Try to have enough sleep, eat well, which implies a diet that fits your needs and that you enjoy, and ideally do minimal physical activity which can be taking a walk each day. If you have any problem on any of those, look to fix them the best you can. You can also ask advices.
Ideally, go out if your family members are at home to be less exposed to them. But most importantly, find at least one place that you like to go and that feels comfortable and safe. It could be a coffee shop, a friend's house/apartment, a library - anywhere you can hang out so you don't have to be constantly exposed to your abusive family members. Make it a habit, this will also help favor the feeling of security which is crucial against any kind of abuse. I would even say try to have more than one spot that create this comfort, but start by having at least one spot.
Construct a social network, very important. Ideally, again, would be people you can meet irl, but having friends over internet can also help, and it is better than nothing for sure. Cater for the ones you already have and take care of the ones you build. Invest in your relationships and learn to build intimacy. Having other relationships will help you have a healthier projection of how you come off, so you don't get constantly a distorted version that is destructive for your self esteem. In theory, family is supposed to be the very basis of security we have, but the fact it can't act this way in your case, it becomes imperative you build a new social network to solidify your need of security and establish intimacy which is what makes us feel loved and cared for. Crucial for your mental health.
Of course, if you have grown in an abusive environment, you might struggle with feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness, which can impair the construction of a healthy social network. This is why it becomes important to take care of your thoughts process. Journaling is a great way to do so. It helps you to cultivate introspection so you make conscious the thought patterns you might have learned from the abusive environment you're in. It will help you strengthen your rational abilities and help you be less "reactive"* and more reflected in any stressful situations (which you may encounter frequently if not daily by living in a toxic environment). Professional help will always be the best solution to help you heal from an abusive environment, even tho I am well aware that you stumble on toxic cunts that are professionals and have the audacity to abuse vulnerable people. Still, I would encourage to seek professional help and be selective about it.
Also, read about the subject (abuse, how to heal from it, etc). Not just from random internet sources or people's personal experiences, buy books, read from safe sources first, so you get a basis to make you more critical of information and discern what can be helpful vs more harmful for yourself. A lot of people on the internet say a lot of toxic shit because of their own experiences, so having a knowledge outside of personal experiences is important in order to build a critical mindset about this issue.
It is also important that you get to have hobbies and have personal projects that give you a sense of purpose. This will make you strive and drive you to get better, and also feel much more confident and solid about yourself, which will help you resist and confront abuse. This will require introspection from you or at least, to connect to your sense of identity so you have an idea of what matters to you as an individual. Constructing your identity apart from the abusers perspective is crucial in order for you to separate your core self from the toxic image they project onto you.
Moreover, when it comes to abusive people, it's important to not get into any lengthy conversation. Be short and sweet, the more you can. Put rigid boundaries and try being the most detached you can when confronted on any abusive tactics. It won't always be possible, and you will probably get hurt if you can't leave the place where they are or avoid them, but that's when journaling, having social support, other safe spaces and having projects that are important for you will help you cope better and be more resilient.
Ideally, having minimal contact with them is key, and even breaking contact if they are extremely toxic to you. It doesn't matter it's family by blood, true family will help you feel better, loved and safe. You can build that with anyone (that can become friends).
I hope this could provide you with some starting points. Tbh, each of them can be elaborated more if needed, since they might all look so simple written like this, but they can be difficult to apply in practice depending of your circumstances.
If you have any other questions, you're welcome to ask. Anyone else relating to that post can also ask questions relating to this topic. Remember I am not acting here as a therapist however, I can give advices but I can't replace professional help.
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If you catch yourself thinking money and world-wide recognition are exclusive measures of virtue and validity, remember…
Scientology made billions of dollars and has had hundreds of thousands of worldwide followers.
#MythBusted
True power has little to do with outward displays of wealth or influence.
It’s more about…
- How you hold yourself through difficult situations
- How much mastery you have in cultivating your internal landscape.
- How deeply you can sink into the present moment and be with what’s really going on within and all around you
- How congruent the life you’re living is with who you really are
The temptation is to chase external markers of power, because you think it exempts you from doing the real work of repairing your relationship with yourself.
“At least I'll look successful,” the ego says, “and that’ll be enough to get me by.”
This especially enticing if you have a history of low self-esteem.
But while you believe you’re incapable of developing the fortitude and skill to live a truly aligned and decent life, you’re still at the mercy of the small self, and no matter how many markers of external success you accumulate, it won’t be enough to turn off the inner-critic or quell the sense of haunting restlessness that comes from abandoning your true self.
On a subconscious level, your bid for material success is an attempt to control how people see you, because you think it will change the way they treat you. And if other people treat you like you are worthwhile and valuable, then maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to believe them, and your relationship with yourself will change as a result.
Rather than seeing other people's behavior for what it is - a projection of their own relationship with themselves - a part of you has decided that how they treat you is an indication of who you are.
Now, at the level of consciousness this part of you is stuck in, its only concern is doing whatever it takes to make sure you have others approval and avoid deeper scrutiny. It is cornered into making sure you are never again treated like you were in the past.
This is what's keeping you exhausting yourself bending to please others.
The real path - the one you're here to walk - is one of liberation from needing other people to tell you who you are.
It's one of asking...
- How proud are you of yourself?
- How good do YOU feel about the work you’re doing in the world?
It's the discovery of your true values and gifts, and the fortifying of your own internal foundations.
This is the journey that cannot be bypassed.
Other people's accolades can only sustain you for so long. The glow of even the kindest words and humblest of adulation has an expiration date.
As you free yourself from the shackles of this conditioning you created, you begin to see the magic and beauty in your current reality, rather than always chasing the gold at the end of the rainbow.
Where you are - and who you are now - becomes the center of your focus, and you get to experience your Self, rather than frantically flailing through your life in a disassociated state.
You create from a place of grounded wholeness, and you show up to all the things in your life because it feels GOOD (even when it doesn't) to show up with all of you for what you love, not because you feel like you have to in order to survive.
You access a level of authenticity and inner solidity that can't be faked... and people can feel it.
Rather than calling in the people who also want to run from their deeper work, and chasing a fantasy together, you're surrounded by salt of the earth legends who nourish and inspire you.
They know and cultivate the best in you, because they know and cultivate the best in themselves, and rather than trying to sell a bastardized version of yourself to prove you belong, you relax and truly feel at home in their presence, and your own.
You're wasting your energy attempting to control how other people see you. Stop living just to feed the beast of your reputation - running a PR department for a version of you that doesn't exist outside your own mind - and honor the truth of who you really are by liberating yourself from the shadows that are keeping you stuck in the past.
The only way forward is challenging yourself to live a life in alignment with what you love and holding yourself to your own standards.
There's no need to do it alone.
DM me now for a conversation about 1:1 coaching.
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➝ Commitment to Seek Alignment with Truth and Natural Law 🔑
When we have greater understanding of the War Over Consciousness, that seeking truth in the Natural Laws and spiritual awakening is under direct attack from a myriad of dark forces and artificial intelligences, then we have the proper context of the current global situation. This spiritual context allows us to create the conditions in our lives to remain calm, undisturbed, and helps to neutralize any personal or externally created upheavals.
When the chaos and upheavals come into our personal reality, we must develop the inner spiritual strength to become extremely still and peaceful, while knowing to declare our Intent, Consent and authority in alignment with Creation or in the highest expression of truth that is available to us in the moment.
To gain a greater understanding of truth, we must understand that truth is first, accurately perceiving events that are presently occurring with the information that is available to us. This means we must know or see when we are being deceived or lied to by others, and to become aware that people, organizations and governments in power are lying to the public in order to hide and obfuscate the factual events of reality.
Seeking spiritual truth is the path of Gnosis, which comes through experiencing the Natural Laws inherent in the consciousness principles that govern our reality. Spiritual truth cannot generally be defined in exacting words, but must be directly experienced and lived by each individual. However, the basis of perceiving truth in the matter is simply understanding that it is what it is, in seeing the accurate assessment of events that have occurred around us in the past or present time.
Greater truths are acquired from the wisdom of perfect understanding, of knowing that which just exists as it is.
Truth is more accurately perceived from an objective and neutral position, observing the objective facts that remain unbiased from personal opinions or emotional attachments, from wanting or needing to control the perception of the event. Instead allowing it to be as it is, viewing it from a neutral, impartial and open-minded perspective. Truth resides in every individual’s heart and spirit, and it is in the exploration of the contents of the heart and higher consciousness that the truth spirit can be found.
We each must be guided by the truth that resides deeply in our own heart, no other person has the right to force another to act in accordance to his own version of the truth. This is a violation of Natural Laws and there are consequences.
When we make the commitment to seek truth in our lives, the truth we discover will naturally open us into spiritual awakening and alignment with the Natural Laws that govern our reality and our consciousness. This is critical knowledge at this juncture, and is the motivation to revisit Virtue Based Ethics. Remember as we commit to seek truth in all things, it is important that we must not lie to ourselves or to others, to the best of our ability. If you cannot speak the truth as you know it, then it is better to remain silent, than to lie in order to appease others who have bought into the lies.
The important spiritual lesson in these times is to be exceedingly careful to not lie to yourself or others. To the best of your ability, discern when to speak and always speak the truth as you know it. Simultaneously, be awake to the degree to know with certainty that all truth is under terrible siege and is being weaponized by the enemies of humanity.
If one focuses on building strong virtues these behaviors lead to personal freedom. If one is allowing strong vices to control them, this leads to personal bondage. This is our choice, to have freedom or bondage through the choices we make every day to cultivate virtues or vices.
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Kaeya, Royal Au, drabble request?: You anonymously leave love letters and your favorite flowers at his door. The guards catch on, but find it kind of cute. So they'll pretend to not notice, provided they can inspect it for the prince's safety. (It's become a game for them to guess what each letter says nefore opening it, each guess crazier than the last.) How does Prince Kaeya respond (Imagine if he anonymously sent one back oml)
Mon Amour, La Rose
gn version / part two
characters: kaeya
warnings: fem!reader (i’ll post a gn!reader version if it’s requested)
word count: ~2.6k
note: fluffy royal!kaeya? it’s the perfect first request!! i’m also SO sorry this took so long; not only did i get super sick shortly before the request, but i deleted and rewrote like half of it! please accept it being a full one shot instead of a drabble as my apology <3 i also apologize for any typos or weird pacing near the end,, i always write at night without my glasses on ;;;
Three of the Eclipse Dynasty’s elite royal guard had found a new form of entertainment as of late: reading their crown prince’s mail.
It was typical to inspect the royal family’s mail before handing it over - it was a matter of security, after all. The king’s mail was comprised of letters and requests related to the ongoing war. The queen’s mail was much of the same. The crown prince, ever-the-popular, had perfumed letters from maidens all across the nation mixed in with his official correspondence. The two guardsmen tasked with inspecting the dynasty’s mail felt their faces flush with each intimate note that passed them by.
It wasn’t until they set aside the final letter that yet another guard entered the room, a sealed envelope in her hand. “I found this in front of the prince’s chamber door,” she said, placing the letter in the nearest guard’s outstretched hand. “Did you see who left it?” He carefully unsealed the letter and pulled out the contents within. It was a folded piece of paper and a pressed red rose.
“I didn’t, it was on the ground when I arrived. The sender must have left it in between the shift change.” The third guard - Dagne was her name - looked disappointed in herself. “Prince Kaeya’s admirers are getting stealthier, it seems.” The guard sitting across the table, Hama, spoke up with an amused smirk. The two watched with interest as their comrade unfolded the letter and read the contents aloud.
“To Your Royal Highness, Our Beloved Prince,
I have never addressed a person such as yourself, so I apologize in advance for my lack of formality. I have tried to pen this letter at least half a dozen times, and yet I find my hands shaking still. What does one say to the man that symbolizes the hope of our people and valiantly defends our right to dream? I feel giddy, like a child awaiting praise from their teacher. My letter may very well be lost amongst the sea of letters that comes across your desk each day, but I fear suffering silently more than I fear your rebuff.
I have silently admired you from afar for a long time. Whenever you exit the castle walls and visit the common-folk, I cannot bring myself to approach you, even as I yearn to stand close to you. I sent this letter in the hope that it would give me the confidence to match your gaze the next time we meet.
Alongside this letter, I have enclosed a dried rose, cultivated in my personal garden. As you probably know, in the nation of Mondstadt, the rose is not a symbol of love, but the phrase “As wine bottles are corked, so too are my lips sealed.” The saying is a promise to keep one another’s secrets; I trust that this rose will protect my secret until it reaches you, my prince.
If this letter has somehow reached you, then I sincerely thank you for indulging in my infatuated ramblings. My only hope is that my words have brought a smile to your face. I will forever remain loyal to the Eclipse Dynasty. Forever loyal to you.
Your Royal Highness’s Humble Servant.”
The trio of guards take a pause, looking amongst themselves. “My, she sounds utterly smitten, doesn’t she?” Hama lifts the rose from the table and inspects it carefully. “She also seems to be well-acquainted with the prince. What should we do, Vragi?”
Vragi debated on taking the matter to their superior, the Twilight Sword. A civilian being able to reach the prince’s personal chambers and leave unseen was a security issue. However, the woman leaning over his shoulder suggested a different approach. “Maybe we should return the letter and pretend we didn’t see it. I wonder how the prince would react to a love letter with a rose instead of an address?” She looked at him expectantly, silently awaiting his approval. The guard debated for a few silent moments, before releasing a heavy sigh and placing the items back into the envelope.
“Reseal it and return it to the prince. We will not speak of this.”
Hours passed by, and the prince finally returned to his chambers. The envelope laying on the ground immediately caught his eye - the royal guard should have noticed it by now and taken it away to be inspected and returned alongside his other correspondence. Kaeya leaned down to pick it up, and brought it inside. He sat down at his desk, brushing aside the parchment that was pending his review, and tore open the envelope.
The first thing he felt was not the note, but the flower. The dried petals were still a vivid shade of red, and so delicate that Kaeya was worried his touch might rip one off. After a few moments of admiring it, he set it aside and unfolded the letter. What he had expected to be a lecherous confession of love instead had him reading every line with increasing curiosity. How could a woman of lower class know about Mondstadt - a nation within Teyvat - so intimately, that she was familiar with their traditions? Kaeya leaned back in his chair, trying to remember every civilian that might have access to that kind of information. The relative of a soldier, perhaps? He let out a long sigh and rubbed at his tired eyes, remembering the sender’s words.
“I sent this letter in the hope that it would give me the confidence to match your gaze the next time we meet.”
Three weeks passed by, with another letter arriving every few days. The trio of guards found the letter each time and took it to the mailroom for inspection. After the third one had arrived, Vragi convinced the other two to stop reading the letters, on account of them being written for the prince’s eyes alone. Begrudgingly, they agreed, and pretended not to notice the letters as they came in.
Needless to say, this didn’t stop the guardsmen from developing their own theories about the sender. Anything from lower-ranking knight to fae was suggested, with perhaps the wildest theory being that the sender is a seelie descendent. Hama had suggested placing a bet to see who was right, which Dagne readily accepted. Unfortunately, the only person who could declare the winner was prince Kaeya himself, and he would never agree to revealing his admirer’s identity, so the three found themselves at an impasse.
Kaeya had returned to his chambers for the night and was greeted by the familiar envelope at the door. When he noticed it, he was quick to pick it up and rip it open the moment the door was shut behind him. A fond smile came to his face when he pulled the dried rose out, and he gently traced its currant petals with his fingertips, before placing it with the ever-growing collection on the corner of his desk. He unfolded the letter and read:
“To Your Royal Highness, Our Beloved Prince,
It has been nearly a full moon since I penned my first letter to you. In this series of one-sided correspondence, I have, to my own surprise, come to realize that my feelings for you are much more than admiration or infatuation. What I feel can only be encapsulated in a single word. Love.
My love for you runs deeper than the roots of the mighty and ancient Irminsul, my prince. It reaches farther than the ley lines of the earth. However, I know that my dreams of romance will forever remain as such, because our statuses keep us apart. Well, I say that as if you return my affections - after all, why would an illustrious individual such as yourself return the affections of a lowly citizen with little to offer the kingdom?
Anyway, all this to say that my love for you is true, although an unattainable dream. I believe I once heard a knight describe the kingdom as “the land where people dream of dreaming,” so at least I can take a little comfort in having a dream. Instead of abandoning this dream beyond my reach, I will indulge in it just once more, if you will let me; at the bottom of this letter, there is an address. My address. If you wish to find me, you will need to look no further.
Perhaps if our eyes finally meet, I will be able to quell my beating heart. I might even learn to dream of the stars that illuminate the night sky in a faraway land instead of your eyes. Mayhap I will spend my evenings admiring the lights of the city and not the castle. Until then, I will remain forever loyal to the Eclipse Dynasty. Forever loyal to you.
Your Royal Highness’s Humble Servant.”
With hands shaking with incitement, Kaeya realized what he wanted to do. What he needed to do. He gathered the necessary items and refused to step away from his desk until he crafted the perfect response. It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning, when the first bird sang, that he realized his goal.
・・・・・・
“I’m confused - why have you insisted on visiting the city today, Your Royal Highness?”
Kaeya barely spared the Twilight Sword a moment’s glance as they weaved through the winding streets, politely greeting astonished denizens as they passed them by. He held the sealed envelope with extra care, checking it every so often for unsightly wrinkles or stains. It did not bear the royal seal attributed to the crown prince. In its place was a wax stamp in the shape of a rose’s corolla.
“If you were hoping to garner the people’s support, I could have worked out a banquet or royal tour. Coming out unexpectedly, without the proper security, could–”
“Silence, Dainsleif,” Kaeya finally acknowledged him with a hint of annoyance in his tone. “I haven’t made this decision because I want the support of the people. I just knew that if I were to tell you my true intent, you would consider it… naïve.”
“Naïve? My prince, what could your goal possibly be for me to consider it naïve?” Dainsleif furrowed his brows. The prince responded only with a chuckle, as he shook his head from side to side. His prior annoyance gave way to a pleased smile. “You will see, in due time. We’re nearly there, after all.”
As the fabled building came into sight, Kaeya found himself walking progressively faster, eventually moving towards it just shy of a jog. He ignored anyone and everyone who he passed by, and ignored his guard’s requests for him to slow down. The only thought running through his mind was the image he had conjured up of his admirer; he often daydreamed about how she looked, what her voice sounded like, if she smelled like the flowers that were enclosed in each letter delivered to his door… of course, he also wondered about how she would react to him returning her affections. Would her face flush as red as a rose? Would her eyes sparkle as his gaze fell upon her for the first time?
He was practically bouncing by the time he arrived, checking the address once more to confirm that he was at the right place. He was familiar with it, actually. It was a flower shop that utilized alchemy to cultivate their plants without true sunlight. The store was currently closed, and Kaeya could see nobody through the large windows. He bit the inside of his cheek - he had hoped to see his lovely admirer through the glass.
Right as the prince was considering returning another day, the sound of a window opening from above the store attracted his attention. He raised his head, and his breath stilled when he caught sight of a certain woman standing by the open window.
It had to be her.
Kaeya silently watched as she reached for something out of his line of sight. When she returned, it was with a familiar item in her hand, held close to her face to indulge in its sweet scent. She held a red rose, thornless and vibrantly colored, much alike the dried variants that currently sat in his chambers. She left the flower on the windowsill and vanished back into the room, away from his gaze.
“Your Royal Highness? Is something the matter?” Dainsleif followed his gaze up to the window, his face permanently morphed into an expression of confusion. Instead of answering his question, Kaeya stepped forward, towards the shop. With one final glance at the sealed envelope in his hands, he released it, using a spell to float it up and towards the open window. It landed next to the rose, the wax seal and flower’s corolla forming a perfect pair.
“I think it’s time to head back to the castle, Dainsleif.”
・・・・・・
A woman let out a sigh as she finished taking stock of the various flora in her garden. This batch is remarkable, she thought to herself. The noise of the town had died down considerably, and an uncomfortably cool breeze washed over the streets. It wasn’t until a shiver ran up her spine that she remembered the window she left open a few hours prior.
The rose-stamped envelope waiting for her came as a surprise, to say the least. She hesitantly picked up the mysterious item and inspected it. The stamp was unfamiliar, perhaps unique to the author of whatever was inside. The woman closed and latched the window before sitting down on the nearby couch and thumbing at the wax seal. She almost didn’t want to break it because of how lovely it was. Once the seal was broken and its contents - a single page of high-quality parchment - revealed, her mind began to wander to the identity of the sender. It couldn’t be him, could it? She unfolded the note and began to read:
“To My Dearest Rose,
I have achieved a great many feats and overcome many foe beyond the strength of a hundred men; and yet, I’ve swiftly come to understand that writing this letter would be my greatest challenge yet. I consider myself to be a verbose man, and words are often my weapon of choice. However, it seems that my words have failed me tonight. What am I to do?
You do not know me, and I do not know you, dear rose. Our gazes have never met, nor have we had the pleasure of engaging in any conversation together. Despite this, you have managed to wriggle your way into my affections, and you have made my every waking thought your home.
No, you have made my every thought - in day and night - your home. I’d say that is quite the remarkable achievement, albeit a frustrating one for me. How is a man supposed to get any work done when all that occupies his mind is daydreams of a day yet to pass? A meeting yet to be had? A love yet to be shared? It is a romantic problem, I’d say.
Anyway, I am penning this letter with the hope that it will allow me to focus on something other than you. As much as I adore the thought of dedicating my very existence to ensuring your eternal happiness and comfort, work must be done to make that reality a possibility. So, until the day we can stroll through the garden of roses hand-in-hand, I ask that you think of me. Think of us.
For I am eternally loyal to you, my dearest rose.
Your Humble Servant.”
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact kaeya#genshin kaeya#kaeya x reader#kaeya fluff#pleni.writes
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Victor’s Aura- A Character Aura Study
This post is my take on Victor’s aura, taken from my knowledge and intuition to depict what kind of aura he has! I did one on Gavin, as well as Gavin’s astrological birth chart so if you haven’t seen them, you can read them after this post!
What is an Aura?
“Aura” by the dictionary is “the distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person, thing, or place”.
It’s essentially the electromagnetic energy field that surrounds all living things. It’s the magnetic field of vibration like how a lighted candle is lit and how a scent or perfume surrounds a flower. In fact, it’s correctly described as an extension of the body. It’s a part of every cell. Your aura can be affected by anything, including traumas, memories and emotions. It can tell us a lot about a person’s mental, physical, emotional state, vitality and path of life. Habitual thoughts, emotions and even illnesses can be clearly revealed. If a person changes their long standing thoughts and emotions, the aura will too reflect that.
Victor’s Aura
There are many layers to the aura but let’s start off with the “ground” colour. This is the main colour that dominates the aura both in size and intensity. It’s arguably the most important colour as it shows what the person should be doing in their life.
Victor’s main ground colour is dark yellow (keep in mind this is not defined as “murky”- when someone is lost and muddled in their life). People with dark yellow as their ground are confident, well adjusted and analytical. As a result, they take life one step at a time, one goal at a time, ensuring every project is seen through properly to completion to avoid problems and setbacks later. They are patient people, setting their worthwhile goals in no hurry to reach them, as they know without a doubt that they will obtain their deserved reward in the end. They prefer to do things rationally and in a logical manner, especially at work where they are required to make use of their good memory and love for detail. As they are ambitious and persistent, they often take up roles of leadership, responsibility and of importance. From his corrections on MC’s reports to the food he makes at Souvenir (that is insisted to be cooked according to certain temperatures), Victor is no doubt a detail-oriented leader even whether if the goal he wants to achieve is related to work or not.
MC: It’s a sort of mark that can be left in literature or in a photograph… and I can feel it.
Victor’s eyes are lowered. In his clear and tranquil eyes, there are ripples of light and shadows.
Victor: Such as?
The smile tugging at the corner of his mouth is clear, and I ponder this seriously.
MC: For example, the way I write proposals has changed. The format of my proposals has changed. The indent of the first line, font size 15, 1.5 spacing between lines… it’s the format you find most pleasing to the eye!
Victor’s eyebrow quirks.
Victor: That’s all?
MC: There’s more! I’ve become so much more picky with food. I never used to complain that food tastes bad, but eating at Souvenir has cultivated my palate. Now, when I eat even Michelin meals, I feel as if something’s lacking…
-CN Exhibition Date
“What happened with SE is just an example. We’re from different businesses and different fields. There’s no need to compare yourself with me. Also, I’m older than you. When you’ve reached my age, you might attain the achievements I have today.”
-CN Night Meeting Date
“Slow and steady wins the race” is the moral that they live by, but sometimes adhering to this credo may frustrate others as they can be so analytical and detail oriented at times- usually at great lengths. A cute little add from the Tender Regards Date around the concept of snail mail, time (Victor’s evol!) and the goal of always reaching your destination in the end demonstrate this this motif in Victor’s relationship with MC.
“Looks like you should have received this Future Mail. Apart from supporting your event, I’m only going to do this once. This will not be repeated. The things I want to say to you are all in this videotape. It only belongs to you.”
-CN Tender Regards Date
“When will you finally understand? It’s all right. I’m patient. I’ll wait for you to see the light slowly.”
-Rooftop Date
Although they have feelings, they only ever reveal it to people close to them. They enjoy the detail and technicality of conversations and find it hard to talk about their emotions. Victor’s Exhibition and Tender Regards Date are very useful sources of information in relation to these topics, as it displays Victor’s deep emotions of affection to MC and highlights the importance of expressing emotions to those you love. Dark yellow aura peoples’ greatest lesson in life is to be more emotionally open, and when do they do, it usually occurs later in life.
“The writer wrote it down herself - “The time I spent loving someone, not a single second of it was wasted.” I rarely hear such words leave Victor’s mouth, and it makes me feel a little surreal. In my memory, we very rarely talk about the topic of ‘love’. Maybe it’s because he rarely says what’s in his heart. Maybe it’s because I’m used to being thick-skinned. We never have the opportunity to seriously understand the meaning in these words.
-CN Exhibition Date
“Do you still remember the special episode on “Feelings” from before? Actually, this theme was inspired by that episode. Giving gifts is a common way to express how one feels. But it’s not that easy to send a gift to the future. With Future Mail, the sender can convey their feelings and surprises in this gift to the other party across time.”
-CN Tender Regards date
People with dark yellow as their ground enjoy system and order such as routines at work and in their home life. This is applied to Victor’s strict schedules in his day to day life, such as taking on what time he sleeps and when he gets up to go on his morning jogs. They need to consider new ideas before grudgingly accepting them. This is especially applied to when Victor always says “just this once” to MC when he’s being “childish” with her (but we really know that isn’t the case, he knows this all too well, too).
“Because a certain greedy cat always says she wants to eat something sweet after dinner, I made pudding before leaving the house. Do you think this is a mark of how I’ve been changed?”
-CN Exhibition Date
Next is Victor’s “radiating” colour. This represents his interests and motivations. It adds strength to the ground colour. They can work well in harmony, some can conflict.
I would take Victor’s radiating as violet. Violet is a very highly spiritual colour, as people with this colour as their radiating will have a very spiritual take on life, as they are deep thinkers who like to analyse everything and think matters though logically. They are also naturally intuitive. Violet radiatings have the ability to come up with unique and unusual solutions to problems. As they enjoy learning, they have the potential to become experts in their field of endeavour- which is no surprise for Victor as he’s basically an “on top of the world tyrant” in the industry of finances. In addition, they feel things deeply, but rather operate things on an emotionally free level- again with the ground aura traits to enhance this! However, Victor too, has a high EQ despite this.
“I’m no different from you. There are many things I cannot do or force to make happen. It’s okay to not be strong, it’s okay to not do well. You don’t have to bottle up your emotions.”
…
“I won’t tell you to keep holding on no matter what difficulties you face. That isn’t realistic. There will come a time when you will become an even better version of yourself who will have enough courage and experience to deal with all of this.”
-CN Colours of Rain Date
Overall, Victor’s aura of darker yellow and violet depict him as more of a straightforward kind of person, hardworking and articulate, however soon we realise there’s more to what we see of Victor, like how MC thinks that Victor comes off as a “heartless CEO” throughout the main story chapters but he slowly warms up to her whilst determining to prove her wrong. Victor is wise, and doesn’t bother to put in his personal efforts to where it’s not needed, but when it’s up to him- he strives to go all the way for perfection and with the best of his ability. He spends a lot of time in deep contemplation to determine his plans of attack which allows him to execute them well. His values and worth ethics will always in the end allow him to make time for MC, no matter how busy he is :)
And lastly…
Victor leans against the window, his face still written with distaste, but he does not attempt to remove that childish-looking blanket.
He brings the red cup to his lips and gently blows on it.
The warm light encases him, softening the aura surrounding him. His outline also appears gentler. He doesn’t look as impossible to get close to.
My eyes land on Victor, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
He puts down the cup in his hands, lowering his eyes, as though deep in thought.
This is a Victor I have never seen before…
In this moment, he seems to have put down his stubbornness and distant aura - becoming someone within reach. Only now does Victor finally feel my gaze. He raises his head to look at me.
-CN Warm Date
All of a sudden, he lifts his other hand gently. A water droplet pelts onto his palm, as though pulling him into the pattering rain. Seeing this, I find myself subconsciously frozen in place. Because of the enshrouding misty rain, the Victor before me appears warmer and more tender than usual.
-CN Tender Regards Date
It always has and always will be MC to see this side of him- the tenderness and the willingness of how he opens up to her- his aura willingly to embrace hers too. Fun fact- auras can deflect off one another if you’re with someone you dislike. But when it’s with two people in love, their auras connect, combine and produce an even brighter and bigger accommodating aura for the both of them. He’s certainly living working towards to achieve his greatest life goals- both in his businesses and being with MC, striving together to make great changes and milestones in their respective industries. Without a doubt, she has helped Victor’s aura grow, expand and shine the many rays through his doubts, allowing a light from within to burn brighter and evolve him into more of the brilliant, hardworking and tender man we know today.
#victor#li zeyan#mlqc translation#mlqc analysis#mlqc victor#恋与制作人#mr love queens choice#love and producer#mlqc cn#mlqc en#aura reading#aura
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Light on the Door (ao3) (WWX in the Nie sect) - on tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3
-
Nie Mingjue had hoped, somehow, that he would be able to avoid having this conversation. He wasn’t sure how he intended to avoid it – fobbing it off on another family member was beneath his dignity, it was pretty much inevitable to need to happen at some point during adolescence, and no matter how tempting he wasn’t going to up and die just to avoid some awkwardness – he’d still been hopeful.
The time for hope, however wistful and unsustainable, was gone.
“I want to start by telling you that this is a normal development,” he said, trying to keep his tone straightforward and casual, and failing miserably by the expression on Wei Wuxian’s face. “When you start to get older –”
“Please tell me we are not having the sex talk,” Wei Wuxian said, his voice faint with horror. “I have read way too much porn to be having the sex talk with you.”
“I wish we were having the sex talk,” Nie Mingjue grumbled. “I could give you a book, tell you to ask me any questions you like, and call it a day. Sex isn’t even an embarrassing subject.”
Wei Wuxian’s shoulders loosened. “Good point. Okay. So what talk are we having?”
“The secrets of the Nie sect cultivation method talk,” Nie Mingjue said, a little dryly. “Or, as my father called it, ‘when a boy and his saber start feeling strange things about each other’.”
Wei Wuxian’s face suggested that he was, once again, suffering horribly and unjustly from the Nie clan sense of humor. Which he somehow shared, so Nie Mingjue didn’t know what he was complaining about.
“I’m going to ignore that,” Wei Wuxian eventually decided, “in favor of focusing on the key parts of that sentence, namely ‘secrets’. What secrets?”
“Our cultivation path starts in a manner that’s very similar to orthodox swordsmanship paths,” Nie Mingjue explained. “And we are open to guest cultivators and outer disciples continuing to practice that sort of path, but the main part of the Nie sect, especially the clan, practice something a little bit more…unorthodox.”
“Unorthodox,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding as if he were rolling the word around in his mouth to savor the taste. “What do you mean, unorthodox?”
Nie Mingjue decided to just cut to the chase. “We utilize resentful energy from shedding the blood of the evil creatures that we hunt to cultivate our sabers into saber spirits capable of fighting evil semi-independently.”
Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. “Wait, what? That’s why I keep imagining that I can hear Suibian? Or, well, not hear…”
“Saber spirits don’t really talk, but they certainly have feelings,” Nie Mingjue agreed. “Lots of them, sometimes.”
Baxia calmly radiated a fuck you too feeling at him, but in a fond sort of way.
“Mostly ‘I want to destroy evil’ feelings,” he added, because it was true.
Wei Wuxian still looked stunned, so Nie Mingjue figured it was time to continue explaining.
“In orthodox swordsmanship cultivation, only the most powerful cultivators have swords that obey only their master – but because we cultivate our sabers’ spirits, all of them only obey a single master. Because they’ve been cultivated through the shedding of blood, they’re full of resentful energy themselves; they become far more powerful, but also more difficult to control.”
“Qi deviation,” Wei Wuxian said, jumping ahead at least ten steps in the talk. “Because of the proximity to resentful energy?”
“Not proximity. We cultivate our sabers through our own cultivation – processing the resentful energy and purifying it so that our sabers stay true to our principles. As the saber’s cultivation grows, it becomes more difficult to process it without becoming unbalanced, and eventually, absent a breakthrough, it will result in a qi deviation. It’s the trade established by the founder of our sect: we gain the ability to defeat evil now, but we pay the price later.”
Wei Wuxian obviously didn’t like that, and Nie Mingjue didn’t want to jump straight into the ‘so eventually all men die and some sooner than others’ section of the talk anyway, so he pulled it back.
“You’ve reached the point in your cultivation where you’ve started to sense Suibian’s rage,” Nie Mingjue explained. “It will affect you, making your temper shorter and you more impulsive; you’ll need to keep a careful check on it…as much as is reasonable, anyway. I’m not exactly one to talk about keeping your temper.”
He tried. Very hard, even, and he mostly even succeeded in mastering his temper into more appropriate channels – look, he hadn’t once tried to stab any other sect leader over the table in a Discussion Conference, and he was sitting across from Jin Guangshan, a walking pustule with wandering hands and no morals; Jiang Fengmian, too lukewarm to do anything except apparently whine about how Wei Wuxian preferred to stay in the Nie sect; and Wen Ruohan, his father’s murderer, a narcissist with delusions that he deserved to be emperor of the world, and all around creep.
A few instances of having to excuse himself to go break a table or stab a wall was totally reasonable.
“You’ll go a lot more night-hunts from this point onwards, which will help you shed more blood and strengthen your saber further,” he continued. “But you have to remember at all times that your saber will reflect you; that means it’s your duty to cultivate it properly, to teach it to hate evil and value righteousness. Principles are just as important – no, more important – than increasing power.”
“I didn’t even know resentful energy could be used like that,” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “Isn’t it something we have to fight against? Or is it just – it’s energy. We use spiritual energy for the most part, but we use resentful energy for the sabers…couldn’t we use resentful energy for ourselves, too?”
Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes and flicked him in the forehead. “No. Using resentful energy without a channel is demonic cultivation.”
“So what?” Wei Wuxian said, his eyes bright. “If you can use it –”
“Are you made of steel?” Nie Mingjue interrupted. “Our sabers can absorb and redirect resentful energy without suffering from moral corrosion; even so, they eventually become fixated, obsessive, reckless and undiscriminating, which is why they need masters – someone who can direct them towards defeating evil when they lose the ability to tell the difference themselves. If you use resentful energy yourself, you yourself may become subject to those same issues, and where would you be?”
“Letting you and Nie Huaisang order me around,” Wei Wuxian said promptly. “Obviously.”
“Brat. Do you want to hear the details or not?”
“Of course I do! I’m just surprised that Nie Huaisang didn’t slip up and tell me about it earlier.”
“He doesn’t know,” Nie Mingjue said, and winced when Wei Wuxian stared at him. “It’s not necessary to tell him until he starts feeling Aituan the way I feel Baxia or you feel Suibian, and given the extremely slow rate of his cultivation, that might be a while out yet. He’s happy as he is; why burden him with secrets?”
“Because he deserves to know that you might die?”
“He knows that,” Nie Mingjue said, his mind suddenly pulled back to the terrible months before his father died. “Trust me. He knows.”
Wei Wuxian was quiet for a moment. “He might cultivate more if he knew that he could eventually have conversations with Aituan,” he suggested.
“He might cultivate less if he knew it was increasing his chances of an early death,” Nie Mingjue rebutted. “It’s the cultivation path of his ancestors; he can’t abandon it, but he can waffle and drag his feet. And if he doesn’t form a golden core properly, if he doesn’t learn to defend himself, he’ll die sooner than any qi deviation will kill me and that’s – that can’t happen. You understand that, right?”
“Of course,” Wei Wuxian said. “Don’t worry, da-ge. I’ll take care of Huaisang.”
Nie Mingjue put his hand on the back of Wei Wuxian’s nape and shook him. “I don’t want to send you off before I go either, brat; don’t get so wrapped up in protecting Huaisang that you forget that. So be careful.”
“I will,” Wei Wuxian said. “I promise.”
-
“So, do you think it’s time to give Wei Wuxian the talk?” Nie Huaisang asked Jiang Cheng as they dangled their feet in the river.
“What?” Jiang Cheng said, turning to look at him. “Are you joking? You have so much porn –”
“Not the sex talk,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Sex isn’t a talk; learning about sex is a book explaining the mechanics, a lifetime of listening to soldiers, and a very enjoyable process, to hear the stories. And to read them, of course.”
“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng said, flushing red. Nie Huaisang assumed his version of learning about sex had been a little different. “If you didn’t mean that, then what did you mean?”
“Porn can teach you about mechanics, as long as you take it with a solid pound of skepticism about how flexible the human body is and remember where the holes are,” Nie Huaisang said wisely, even as Jiang Cheng put his head in his hands and groaned. “But it doesn’t teach you about feelings.”
“Feelings.”
“Yes, feelings. I-like-you feelings. Like the stupid expression that Jin Zixuan get every time he sees Jiang Yanli practicing saber, or when he hears about those rumors that Sect Leader Nie would snatch her up as his bride in a second if he ever broke the engagement…”
“Why are we talking about feelings?” Jiang Cheng said, not raising his head.
“Because Wei Wuxian is an idiot.”
“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about,” Jiang Cheng said, notably not disagreeing with the assessment. “And other than getting himself thrown out of Teacher Lan’s class because of his stupid theorizing about demonic cultivation, he’s usually pretty smart.”
“I’m well aware. He’s my shixiong,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “And a genius. Doesn’t mean he’s not an idiot.”
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “What type of feelings talk? The one about not marrying someone who doesn’t love you because you’ll be miserable your entire life one?”
“No, and I’m not touching that with a ten-foot spear, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here for you,” Nie Huaisang said. “I meant the one about liking people, and how to recognize it when that’s what you’re feeling.”
“Wait,” Jiang Cheng said. “Are you saying that Wei Wuxian likes someone?”
Nie Huaisang closed his eyes. “Oh,” he said, in tones of pained revelation. “That’s my problem. I’m surrounded by idiots.”
“Hey!”
“I’m going to write to da-ge and tell him he needs to find more smart people to join the sect. Otherwise there’ll be no help for it; my brain is going to end up deteriorating into nothing but mush –”
“Hey!” Jiang Cheng slapped him upside the head, which Nie Huaisang supposed he deserved. “Now stop being a jerk and tell me who Wei Wuxian likes. I didn’t even know there were any girls around for him to like.”
“For the first time in my life, I want my saber,” Nie Huaisang said.
“…what?”
“It’s supposed to give you strength. To support you as you suffer through hardships untold –”
Jiang Cheng pushed him into the river.
Nie Huaisang surfaced a moment later, dripping wet. “Okay, okay,” he said, grinning; it was a hot day and he had been asking for it. “I’ll stop. The reason you’re confused is because the person Wei Wuxian likes isn’t a girl.”
Jiang Cheng looked blank.
Nie Huaisang mimed scissors and pretended to snip at his now soaked sleeve.
“Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng said doubtfully. “But he flirts with girls all the time. Like when we went to Caiyi Town –”
“To be fair, that threw me for a while too,” Nie Huaisang said. “But no one ever said you couldn’t like girls and boys. After all, they’re both really pretty!”
“I guess,” Jiang Cheng said.
“Well, you don’t count. You like boys and girls equally, too.”
“I do not!”
“Yes, you do,” Nie Huaisang said patiently. “Zero interest in either is still equal.”
Jiang Cheng scowled in the way that suggested that Nie Huaisang was right, but shouldn’t say it.
“Look at it this way: if you never end up liking anybody, you can be friends with your future wife and she’d never need to be worried about you liking anyone else.”
“…that’s true,” Jiang Cheng conceded, looking intrigued by the idea. “Anyway, enough about me. We were talking about Wei Wuxian. Who does he like?”
“Lan Wangji.”
“I know that,” Jiang Cheng said with a scoff, and Nie Huaisang had a momentary hope that maybe he’d been the slow one for once when Jiang Cheng ruined it all by adding, “He’s his best friend, too; we all agreed on that. I was talking about who he liked.”
Nie Huaisang covered his face for a moment and sighed.
“Okay,” he said. “Let’s start this from the top: how would you like the opportunity to be Wei Wuxian’s only best friend?”
“…what do you mean? How could that happen?”
“I’m Wei Wuxian’s shidi, my da-ge is his da-ge, and you’re his best friend – and Lan Wangji can be his boyfriend.”
“Oh, I see, that – wait. Wei Wuxian likes Lan Wangji?!”
“And he has no idea,” Nie Huaisang said. “And that’s why we need to give him the talk.”
Jiang Cheng seemed to be struggling with the idea, but in the end he said, “And I get to be his only best friend afterwards, right?” so somehow Nie Huaisang thought it was all going to be fine.
-
“I need to have a talk with my saber,” Wei Wuxian said, batting his eyelashes at the door guards. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Of course they minded. The Wen sect hadn’t taken away their weapons for their own good – it was a move designed to humiliate them, to weaken them, to show them their place.
But under the circumstances…
“Let him in,” Wen Zhuliu said, his arms crossed over his chest and his face as unmoving as stone. “Once the issue is resolved, he returns to the rest of the group and the incident is never spoken of again.”
The incident being the mysterious snapping of several Wen sect swords during the night when no one was around, which went on for a few days before someone stuck around and realized it was the angry spiritual energy pouring out of Suibian that was causing the issues.
Weird, but, well, everyone knew Nie sabers were weird. The best weapon to use against resentful energy by far, of course, and yao spirits in particular, but still – weird.
Wei Wuxian went into the armory, his heart hurting at all those brilliant shining swords sitting around as if they were merely spares for the Wen sect instead of treasures for their respective masters; there was Sandu over there, and Bichen, and even Suihua. Only lucky Aituan wasn’t here by virtue of Nie Huaisang having believably ‘forgotten’ it back at home; that had been good – Nie Mingjue had nearly had a fit at the idea of Wei Wuxian taking Suibian anywhere near Wen Ruohan and it would’ve been worse if there’d been Aituan to worry about, too.
They’d had to talk him down for a long while to get him to agree. To convince him that the Wens were not yet so daring that they’d commit murder at their indoctrination camp, that they’d be safe enough even if uncomfortable, that the time could be better spent in finalizing the preparations for the war that they all knew was coming.
Having to hand over Suibian at the beginning, though – it’d been hard.
“Hey, baby,” Wei Wuxian said, reaching out to run his fingers down her blade.
Saber spirits didn’t speak the way people spoke, more an amalgamation of raw feeling and sub-human levels of thought, but he liked to think he could hear Suibian saying where have you been you jerk let’s get out of here I want to stab something already.
“No stabbing,” Wei Wuxian said. “And sadly, no getting out of here; we’re stuck. I just got let in here long enough to try to talk to you…since when do you break swords?”
Baxia said.
Suibian didn’t have a word for Baxia, only a feeling like lightning turned solid, a blood-drenched pillar made of stone that could hold up the weight of the world, accompanied by an incredible amount of respect that Suibian certainly never felt about any human up to and including Wei Wuxian – who Suibian seemed to treat more as a little brother than anything else.
A moderately stupid little brother, even.
“Nice try,” Wei Wuxian said patiently. “Baxia isn’t here, so she couldn’t have possibly told you to go break Wen swords.”
Baxia said they broke one of ours.
Wei Wuxian stared. “You can’t possibly mean…old Sect Leader Nie’s? You weren’t even forged then.”
Baxia was. Baxia remembers. Baxia hates them.
“Hey, I hate them, too. Remember me? Your master?”
If it makes you happy.
“Wow, really? Jackass.”
Jerk.
“Pointy object.”
Oblong meat.
Wei Wuxian snickered. “Okay, anyway, you need to stop.”
They are the tools of evil men. If they are not destroyed, they will do evil in the future.
That was Suibian in a nutshell: carefree and arrogant, with a bone-deep sense of righteousness regardless of anything.
They said sabers reflected their masters – Wei Wuxian could only hope that it was true.
He ran his fingers down the flat of the blade again, as much to comfort himself as to calm Suibian.
“I know. But we don’t have a choice right now, okay? I know you’re not very good with thinking about the future, about consequences – I know I’m not very good at it, which means you never had anyone to teach it to you – but right now we need to behave or else bad things will happen to people we love. I told them the breaking of the swords was because of a talisman I carved into you that I forgot to deactivate, so they don’t know about you, but if you keep it up, they might figure it out…”
He sighed. “Don’t make me make it an order.”
Suibian was not happy with him right now, but Wei Wuxian could feel the reluctant agreement.
“Just wait,” Wei Wuxian said. “Soon enough you’ll have all the evil you could possibly want to fight, and more besides.”
Soon, there would be war.
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Continuing with my reread
And got to the point where they visit the Rufeng Sect.
But before I get to the chapters-specific stuff, I wanted to talk about something that discussion between @moransumbrella and @momoliee (about SQT and RJ) made me think about.
And it’s that in 2ha, one of the big narrative points is that it is understandable to want to survive/get revenge/protect yourself or others but no goal however understandable or noble in the abstract can justify systematically hurting innocents and when you cross that line and keep crossing it, you become a monster. Maybe a tragic one or understandable one, but there is none of that “oh you poor thing, go on” attitude.
Is there any doubt that Shimei is fully justified in wanting to save his people from the horrors they are subjected to in the cultivation world? No, not at all. But leaving aside the irony of his plan wrecking both the one person we’ve seen who never ever went along with that behavior (CWN) and the person who IS part of those people and a special one at that (Moran), those two also being some of the few people who treated him so well, nobody in their right mind would think he’s justified to literally destroy a Universe he is in and then start working on the Universe of the main story. He is a monster pure and simple and nothing can justify what he does. Or, on a smaller scale take someone like Rong Jiu (mainly 0.5), Song QT, Nangong Xu or even that family in Butterfly Town. They all have reasons for doing the horrible things they do - desperation to get out of awful life (RJ, SQT), rightly wanting vengeance for having his place stolen (NX), or even understandable desire to get ahead as a family (Butterfly Town folks.) Shimei’s sister - same - she does the monstrous things she does because she loves her brother. Meatbun gets that very few people genuinely see themselves as villains - even as mad, as gone, as compelled, as broken TXJ was, he still clung to his “I was justified to torture CWN 0.5 because he killed Shimei″ like a life raft. Even a person who was not in any way in possession of free will in his actions or even his thoughts, still felt he needed to operate on a “just world” theory.
BUT the thing is, it makes their actions justified in their own heads but Meatbun never makes the mistake of letting us forget that even monsters with valid reasons are monsters. There is no justification in the world that can make what Shimei did OK, there is no justification in the world that can make anything any of the bad actors do to innocents OK. It relates to huge things (Hua Binan literally destroying the Universe) and little ones (Rong Jiu in the Underworld betraying Moran and CWN.) Sympathy and justice are two separate concepts.
But the other thing I love is nothing is static either. Meatbun doesn’t shie from calling a monster a monster but redemption is possible no matter what. We see this with Moran (until the twist, of course, that no redemption is necessary (sort of - about this more word vomit below) because he’s an even bigger victim than CWN), we see it with Shimei 2.0 - I will never warm up to Shimei for emotional reasons but there is zero question that he is working hard on his redemption at the end and is earning it. But the thing is - you have to possess moral consciousness to want to redeem yourself. That is what makes you salvageable. Moran possesses it, Shimei 2.0 possesses it (and I love the concept that no matter how high your sins, you CAN be redeemed. But that redemption doesn’t necessarily involve personal happiness or your victims forgiving you, it is basically hard work only for internal reward of the possibility of peace.) A lot of other monsters, large and small, do not.
OK, the thing about whether Moran needs redemption that I just mentioned. The quick and easy answer is “of course not.” He was probably the biggest victim of them all and none of the monstrous things he did were his fault or within his control. But I love that the answer is actually more complicated because it rings emotionally true. Moran finding out the truth near the end is wonderful and will allow him not to perpetually drown in guilt, but just as TXJ sliver doesn’t really fade into the rest of his souls, I don’t think the guilt will go away fully, not for a while. Because, aside from the concept of utter lack of volition combined with utter lack of knowledge that you actually lacked volition and deludedly thought this was all your ideas, being a whole other different trauma, the fact remains that Moran remembers feeling rage/hatred/bitter satisfaction in murder and rape and torture and burning the world. He remembers all the awful things he’s done to his most loved ones. And he clearly gloms onto “the flower brings out all your darkest/worst/most insane desires and makes them conscious thoughts” aspect of the curse - he tells CWN that the flower made real things he sometimes thought of and so it only worked because it was him and not someone better like CWN - and some of it is trying to comfort CWN and make him feel less guilty that Moran took on the flower so CWN’s won’t be forced to to - but some of it is his genuine belief. And that is what is so insidious about that curse - it twists normal stray thoughts and healthy interests into murder and insanity (compare TXJ’s obsession with CWN because Moran had such strong positive feelings about CWN before the spell, to his utter lack interest in e.g., Nangong Liu who he let run off when he took Rufeng because as long as the man didn’t fight him, he couldn’t care less what he did, because flower couldn’t turn indifference into something negative.) So I do think in addition to knowing on intellectual level about not being responsible not being equal to getting it on emotional level, Moran clearly feels responsibility because it was his emotions only out of whack and insanely perverted that the flower based its compulsions on. Moran became such a monster precisely because he has such strong loves and such strong emotions in general - strong love and desire to protect became strong hate and endless appetite for torture. The flower changes the nature of emotion and thoughts, not the level of intensity. If Shimei actually found someone who was genuinely utterly indifferent to most things (not CWN who feels so intensely; he conceals himself so much precisely because he feels SO much, cares SO much, he’d have been as much of a monster as Moran if he was the flower recepient), I am not sure he’d have been as successful. If the most someone is capable of is mild “eh,” it’s hard to turn it into a drive for world-destruction. So in a way, Taxian Jun was such a monster and so successful because Moran was so good and had such drive. Anyway, as most of my thoughts, this has gone into a random direction but the thing is, whether Moran is guilty of what TXJ did, the answer is not but not for Moran, and that’s one of the reasons I love him.
To get back to the chapters I am at, I hate Nangong Liu, one of the most despicable characters out there. Even TXJ, as messed up as he was, still hated not people who fought him fair and square or other honest villains, but people who’d kiss up only to stab you in the back, doing anything to get ahead and that is what head of Rufeng is. (There is a sentence to that extent when Moran 2.0 meets Nangong Liu - that who he hated most as TXJ was not Xue Meng or MHX but people like Nangong Liu. That loathing, like his obsession with CWN, is one of the few things consistent across any version of Moran and shows how much his “gratitude for good, straightforward is good” is embedded in him that even the flower couldn’t shove it out of him.) CWN’s comment that the reason Rufeng Sect is so rich because they charge God knows how much as opposed to Siseng Peak which charges very little and sometimes nothing, sums up the difference between the Upper and Lower cultivation realms. Rufeng is the wealthiest and most powerful and most respected but morally they are far beneath Siseng (there is a reason CWN is very gentle when he tells this to Xue ZY - CWN has about the truest and most moral heart in the series; there is a reason he stayed at Siseng, an “inferior” sect, even though everyone would love to have him. It’s because Xue ZY is righteous and he sees the wealth of Rufeng and wishes he could use it to give villages protection instead of decorating like Rufeng, because he’s that type of person.)
One of the biggest injustices to me is that Nangong Liu survives the book but Meatbun’s world is often like that. Being good does not mean a good ending, being bad does not mean proper punishment. The main OTP will make it through despite hell she puts them through, but for secondaries even those bets are off.
OK, this is getting War and Peace level long so I am going to stop.
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qijiu bingqiu (bingliushen??) fix-it fic planning blabber
so i think i gotta keep it tight on SJ’s POV. Right before his death, he makes a deal with Xin Mo (who’s kind of a lone operator bc LBH too has to fight its power) to create this alternate timeline in exchange for his cultivation. Xin Mo can open up new dimensions no problem, and with SJ’s cultivation, it even manages to rewind the timeline. That’s not enough though—Xin Mo’s goal is only consumption, so it takes the deal but reveals there’s nothing that will actually change. The price SJ paid only opened the door.
But that’s fine, ‘cause SJ saw it coming. He also strikes another deal, this time with Death itself? Some sort of large cosmic force. The only thing he wants changed is Qi-ge’s death, and in exchange...the universe takes him. SJ will not get to exist in that second universe. SJ takes the deal.
And that’s the start of canon. SJ-as-SQQ can no longer exist. Instead, SY-as-SQQ is brought in. In order to stay cohered though, YQY’s memories and personality get a little glitched—he is physically incapable of recognizing all the ways SQQ is now not SJ. That’s why, despite SY-as-SQQ clearly being OOC, YQY never seems to see it.
Canon happens, now we’re in the post-canon world where bingqiu are married and settling down, but SQQ still kicks it with his buddies LQG and YQY every now and then. YQY still firmly believes SQQ is SJ, to SY’s increasing consternation. Is it just delusions and wishful thinking? The more YQY treats him as SJ though, the worse SY feels—he shouldn’t be stealing all this affection that doesn’t belong to him.
It all comes to head when SQQ overhears public opinion on YQY, how he’s perfect in everything but his crazy devotion to SQQ. SY thinks enough is enough. He can’t bring SJ back but he sure can tell YQY that his Xiao Jiu is dead, right? The System warns him he’ll be punished but that’s fine, it’s just not fair, SQQ can take another little mental horror trip down to BinggeLand if it means YQY can have some closure.
Except that’s not what happens. He gets YQY in private and says, “no, you don’t understand, Shen Jiu is dead.” He sees the recognition in YQY’s eyes, but he also sees the moment that recognition gets wiped. The sad smile that had fallen off of YQY’s face returns, eerily happy, as YQY says, “my apologies, Qingqiu-shidi, I must have spaced out just now, what did you say?”
Right before the System kicks him into another punishment phase, SY tries again: “Shen Jiu is dead!” He sees the recognition disappear once again from YQY’s eyes.
Inside the punishment world, Bingge has him again. “I’ve been searching for an answer to why the sniveling pathetic version of me gets you as his Shizun, and I think I figured it out.” For a moment, SY’s horrified by the possibility that Bingge has figured out his transmigrator status—if his punishment figures it out, would he be trapped inside the punishment forever? But instead, Bingge says, “Liu Qingge is still alive, meaning Shizun didn’t kill him in the spirit caves. Did his survival render such a dramatic change?” SQQ”s like “yup, yup that’s definitely it. We’re such good friends, he really changed my outlook on life, so I treated you better, mhm.”
“Shizun’s very clever then to save his own life this way. Xin Mo’s already told me about your little bargain.”
That’s how SY learns that SJ had made a deal. Holy shit, he’d thought it was just random phenomenon this whole time, but the original goods had made it all possible? He didn’t know whether to thank SJ or curse him.
But that can’t be the whole story—Xin Mo opened up a timeline, that doesn’t explain why SY is here. Bingge doesn’t know this part, but it sure feels like SJ made a second deal, paying with his life.
What would motivate the original goods to do all this? Sacrifice his hard-won cultivation and his entire existence in this last-ditch effort?
The memory of YQY’s glitching came to mind.
Holy shit. SY owns the two of them more than he’d ever thought.
After the punishment, SY goes back home. He’s with Binghe, and LBH can tell there’s something troubling him.
“Binghe, there’s something this husband wants to do, and I need your help to do it.”
“Shizun, anything.”
“...But there’s a risk it might hurt you. There’s a risk it might ruin everything. It might be straight-forward, but it also might not be. It’s safer for all of us—but especially you, Binghe—if I just let things be.”
“But it’s not something that Shizun can just let be, is it? Otherwise Shizun wouldn’t have said anything. Binghe is honored to help. Anything to ease Shizun’s mind.”
“...I promised I wouldn’t let you come to harm again, and I meant that. Whatever happens, remember that I am your husband, this is my call, and you must do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, okay? Swear to me, Binghe.”
SQQ begins figuring out how to use Xin Mo to go fetch SJ from the other timeline. He figures that if Bingge could exist in this dimension without destroying the space-time continuum, the same ought to be true for SJ. Only trouble is, he can only go get SJ after SJ’s made the deals, because otherwise it’s a paradox, and he wouldn’t exist.
So SQQ brings home limbless, post-torture!SJ. That’s where the fic starts.
By all accounts, the deals are squared: SJ no longer has cultivation and SJ died in SY’s dimension, so SY successfully exists. SJ and SY can exist in the same space totally fine, and SJ begins healing.
(Currently, the fic is completely from SJ’s POV, and very much about coming to terms with being saved and what the hell is going on in this better world.)
The trouble is, SY doesn’t know what’s going to happen when SJ meets YQY again. SJ very thoroughly declines the offer to go see YQY because part of SJ still believes this whole thing is a trick, and if he goes to see YQY he’ll ruin his end of the bargain and YQY will die again. For SY’s part, he’s afraid of SJ going to see YQY too for similar but opposite reasons—if SJ going to see YQY ruins SJ’s end of the bargain, then wouldn’t that mean SY can no longer exist? Would SY just disappear from this universe?
So we get ragtag group therapy fun times. SJ thinks this is probably all an illusion Xin Mo is tricking him with, so treats everything with scorn but also existential apathy. This actually works to his benefit because he’s not clinging to things as hard, and it’s easier for him to admit, for example, that he was definitely in the wrong for abusing LBH, and yeah he was being a spiteful bitch when he did not need to be.
SY tries to keep LBH away from SJ mostly, because c’mon, he’s not about to make his darling husband face his childhood abuser. He does explain the situation to LBH though, in the same terms that Bingge had (mis)understood it lmfao—that the act of saving LQG’s life had prompted an entire 180 on his personality so he came out of the spirit caves a better man. LBH’s jealous as fuck of course, but damn if that doesn’t explain some things. Given the opportunity to see his old and new Shizun side-by-side, LBH takes it, and really gets a moment to see how horribly he’s been treated by SQQ.
So it actually prompts some therapy between SY and LBH too. LBH used to figure that getting pushed into the Abyss was squared by SQQ sacrificing himself to save him. But ofc it turned out SQQ came back and kept on, in his perspective, trying to get away from him. Trying to leave him behind. SQQ’s tried to treat his abandonment issues by going “okay sorry about that I’ll never leave you behind again” but he’s never really explained it.
SJ’s presence gives Binghe the ability to ask the question again and gives SY an answer: shame and cowardice. They’re able to put SJ’s mistreatment of Binghe right in front of them and SY-as-SQQ gets to explain how much it hurt to look back on that bit of their past, but also how much he feared LBH's retaliation. LBH is a little hurt, but also he remembers how he’d raped SQQ under Xin Mo’s control and, looking at what’s left of SJ now, he sees his own darkest possibilities. He really did destroy the man he loves now in another timeline. That helps him contextualize SY’s fears and why SY chose to push him off the cliff.
LQG crashlands into the middle of this whole party as is his wont. He gets a little fix-it too maybe. SY very staunchly repeats the reason for his personality swap—saving LQG in that cave made him a Better Person™. Meeting the original goods again, LQG is forced to believe it. Or like, it doesn’t really matter to him either way, but now he really does see pre-cave SQQ and post-cave SQQ as two completely different people.
SJ though, has to swallow this really weird pill. He remembers trying to save LQG inside the cave but failing, and then getting blamed for LQG’s death. If he’d succeeded, he and LQG would’ve become...this close?? A life debt between them would’ve changed his outlook on life so much???
Well whatever. Now that he’s put down all his old posturing, he more readily gives his reasons for why LQG gets on his nerves so much: the insufferable confidence (arrogant prick), the skills to back it up (privileged bastard), and a flawless cultivator family with all the money and the training and the pedigree. (Meanwhile SY’s like “oh shit that’s me too hahahahah awkward, good thing he still thinks i’m him so he doesn’t just murder me immediately.)
LQG’s a little weirded out too. SY-as-SQQ is his favorite person in the world, so it’s hard to get angry at SJ-as-SQQ since they’re “the same person.” He’s more willing to talk all this out with SJ and brings up all their old beef on his side too: high-handed snootiness coupled with underhanded dick moves, also the whole sleeping-with-prostitutes thing hurting Cang Qiong’s reputation. Ofc they’re snapping at each other this whole time. “There’s no reason for you to do all that!”
SY intervenes if needed. “Actually there is.” Considering the fact that SJ gets indicted for so many things that actually turn out to be not his fault, SY figures he’ll just get it out there. “Remember Qiu Haitang’s accusations against me? I grew up a slave in that household. I grew up believing it was kill or be killed—it doesn’t make sabotaging others right, but...that’s why the Spirit Caves made such an impression on me. I learned it wasn’t just kill or be killed, I can also save people. It opened my eyes to everything I already had, and everything I should be grateful for.”
This is for both LQG and SJ. And it works, to some degree. SJ knows he managed to claw to the top of privilege, but he still felt horribly insecure there. That’s because, he realizes, he never got the thing that would actually grant him security. It's not power or money or reputation—it’s Qi-ge. Holy hell he misses Qi-ge. In anger and betrayal, he’d pushed YQY continuously out of his life, but when faced with certain death the only regret he actually had was bringing Qi-ge down with him. YQY was meant to have survived, and in this world, he did.
So now, after all that, SJ really, really wants to go see his Qi-ge. It’s nice to have survived (and gotten part of his power back—at the very beginning, SY gives one of SQQ’s eyes to SJ as a bit of his golden core in order to save SJ’s life), but it’s so damn hard to live on in this world knowing YQY is only so far away, still very deeply attached to Xiao Jiu.
They try to Cyrano it at first. SY-as-SQQ goes to YQY with SJ’s voice in his ear, telling SY how to treat YQY as him. YQY is so fucking touched and hopeful, and SY is damn uncomfortable. He goes running back to SJ and says it’s not going to work—it’s not going to work because he’s no longer Qi-ge’s Xiao Jiu. He’s Luo Binghe’s husband, okay? He can’t go back to YQY as SJ.
SJ’s fucking furious at first (what kind of shitty variation of himself saves LQG’s life and then falls out of love with Qi-ge???? bitch?????) but what can he do? LQG tells them YQY’s on his way here and SJ hides for now. They still don’t know what will happen if SJ meets YQY, so SY continues to front as SJ for now.
But during this conversation, something changes. Maybe YQY says something, but SJ realizes he’s actually a little willing to take this chance. If Qi-ge does disappear—easy, he’d just kill himself right after. He’d already experienced Qi-ge’s death twice before, and at least this time, he can follow, knowing he’s at least reconciled with Qi-ge through SY.
And if he disappears on his own, then at least he knows there’s a world in which Qi-ge does not die horribly. That’s enough for him.
That, however, leaves the very last possibility—that SY will disappear. At this point both LQG and LBH have figured this out, and are very, very reluctant to let this be the scenario. They don’t see it as two people, they see it as their version of SQQ vs. YQY’s version of SQQ.
So there’s a little tension, but in the end, SY gets the final choice. As soon as he learns SJ is willing to go see YQY, he chooses that path. He simply owes qijiu too much to deny them the possibility of reconciliation. So despite knowing he might disappear from Binghe and LQG’s life, he makes it happen.
(They should get a very painful goodbye scene.)
SY goes out to explain things. “Zhangmen-shixiong may have noticed my change since my qi deviation and the spirit caves.” “I’m happy Xiao Jiu has a brighter outlook on life.” “Yes, but I think Qi-ge, of all people, might actually prefer how I was before, right?” “If Xiao Jiu’s happy, I’m happy.” “Yes, but Shen Jiu wants you. Is that alright?” “—of course. I want Xiao Jiu too—”
SJ comes out. Everyone holds their breath.
Scene cut.
It’s said that Cang Qiong’s Sect Leader Yue Qingyuan disappeared suddenly one afternoon...
But jk, YQY just ran away with SJ, they’re recuperating in the mountains and everybody’s fine and it’s a happy ending.
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And finally, here we are, Episode 36 of Word of Honor, and I have some FEELINGS. Let me show you them.
There also will be Episode 37 here, btw, because I’m not gonna do a separate reaction for a three-minute episode, no matter how grateful I am that we got it.
(Spoilers, so if that’s not what you want right now, scroll on by and come back after you’ve watched it. Them.)
Let’s get to the meat of the episode right away: THE HAIRPIN. And Wen Kexing knowing Zhou Zishu would have it, because he’d definitely take it with him if he was going on a suicide mission! Y’all. I really have to yell about this for a minute: That’s how secure WKX has become in his knowledge of what he means to ZZS! After all that time angsting and hiding the truth of his identity and worrying that he’s not worthy of ZZS and that he’d be rejected if ZZS knew the truth about him! But now, WKX has finally reached a point where he understands and knows (zhiji, the one I know) he’s so important to ZZS that ZZS would never ever go off to die without taking his most precious possession, the hairpin that his husband gave him! I can’t. My heart. This is like a declaration, after all that time saying they were zhiji, that WKX finally is able to truly see ZZS as that, to know him in his bones, and all of this is also delivered in the middle of WKX in a strop, irritably chastising his husband as an evil brat for running away from home to get himself killed, with Gong Jun’s little >:( face in full effect, and I am so filled with love for this show and this couple at this point that I have to pause Youtube just so I can roll around on the sofa, clutching at my chest and scaring the cats with my inarticulate noises. This is so good, y’all. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Also, now you know how it feels, WKX, you asshole. Which I suppose is why you even confess that it will would be more painful for the one who survives when if the other dies. And you were prepared to do that to him a second time? I cannot believe you, you asshole. You get to sleep on the ice couch for a month.
And then there’s some Six Cultivation Power mind-melding and what looks to be an INCREDIBLY STUPID and HEARTBREAKING ending that would leave us Burying One of Our Gays, so it’s a good thing Episode 37 (all three minutes of it) exists. It would be nice, though, if the connective tissue from 36 to 37 made any sense. Or existed whatsoever. Just, like, throw me a bone, here, show. Some kind of explicit hand-waviness that actually gets mentioned for why Ye Baiyi apparently was not as smart as he thought he was and didn’t really know what he was talking about when he was doomsaying about how one of the pair will surely, oh surely perish. None of this “Sooooo, they managed to figure out the technique and master it?” from some random shidi who never actually gets an answer. I mean, the door was left open for fanwankery on this one, with what looks to be a very last-minute conceit of all this being a story told by grown-up Chengling to his disciples, which begs the question of how much of what he’s telling them is totally accurate, given any number of issues, including the spottiness of human recall, the possibility (based on the fact they’re still on the mountain in Ep 37) that Chengling never actually saw either of them again to get the full story, and the way Gao Xiaolian basically calls bs on the whole thing. But this is still a gossamer-thin thread on which to hang Ep 37. Ep 37 basically functions as reassurance because of the mere fact of its existence, because they’re clearly both alive, right there in front of your face, regardless of the other fact that it doesn’t actually make any sense, based on Ep 36. It ultimately doesn’t matter if there is no Step 2, because Step 3: Profit! is … right there. In evidence. Happening. On your screen. No matter how vaguely unsatisfying the lack of Step 2 may be.
I do feel like there’s an interesting meta thing going on here, in that the entire show has been about – let’s be honest, it was never really about the plot - queer-coding this couple in ways that supposedly fly just enough under the radar that people can handwave them as Just Good Friends and Brothers (I mean, I guess) with a Bury Your Gays tragic ending (ugh) for good measure. And Chengling is telling a story in-universe that seems to conform to some of this same formula. And yet, we all know well and good that these guys were husbands. (I mean, barring anything else, they’re a couple in the original source material, so checkmate, censorship.) So, are we supposed to carry the same assurance out of the show, on a meta level, that what appears to be happening at the end of Ep 36 - what we discover we’re learning through Chengling’s story-telling - isn’t really the truth? Just, look: While we’re getting the Good Friends and Brothers push, there’s stuff like obvious voice-over work that doesn’t match the much more queer version of what the actors actually said, which is apparently blazingly clear to any viewers who know Mandarin and can manage to lip-read. The show has literally put de-queered words into these characters’ mouths. You can’t trust what you hear. But apparently the show has also made this obvious enough that, if you’re a good enough speaker of the language the show is being told in, and you have a good enough eye, you can see what is actually going on. Are we being taught to trust our eyes more than our ears, are we being told that what we’re being told - by the end of Ep 36 on a meta level, by Ye Baiyi-through-Chengling’s-story on an in-universe level, and by what we learn about what happened from Chengling’s story, itself, also on an in-universe level - is inherently untrustworthy, but that if we “speak the language” of this show well enough, and have a good enough eye, we can decode it and see what “actually” happened and is later made explicit in Ep 37? Is Ep 37 canon? Does it matter, when “what is canon” is already so slippery on this show, where you can apparently lip-read something that’s different than what you’re hearing, and it functions as canon because of the mere fact of its existence, because it’s clearly … right there. In evidence. Happening. On your screen.
Anyway, just some thoughts on all that, which I guess is my own fanwankery work to join up the end of Ep 36 with Ep 37, which was, of course, delightful. No matter how much I might bemoan the lack of Step 2, I had a stupid, dopey grin on my face all the way through Ep 37 and might have even teared up a tiny bit at the very end. You can’t prove anything. Lemme tell you, though, it’s a good idea to have 37 on hand when you run into the brick wall of the end of 36, because while WKX’s willingness to sacrifice himself for love is theoretically great, it is not something I actually want to see come to fruition, given the pall it would cast over the entire joyous experience that the ZZS/WKX relationship is throughout the rest of the show. Sure, there’s always fic, but there’s a heaviness that hangs over the Bury Your Gays trope, and it’s retroactively ruined shows for me before. So THANK YOU, to those of you who hooked me up so I could immediately move on to Ep 37.
What else? Other things:
OK, so, first, I have to get this out of the way: Did we actually already see all of those “flashbacks” we get in the first part of the ep, during the conversation between Zhou Zishu and Jing Beiyuan, when all the political stuff is supposed to be finally falling together to give us the big picture? I would have to go back and scrummage through those eps to be sure, and I’m not going to spend time doing that (yet) when I still need to do some keysmashing about Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing OH MY GOD, but I do feel like some of this was new information, not just stuff that I’d glossed over because it didn’t seem important at the time? If so, not on, show. I will be keeping an eye out for that on re-watch. I am, however, perfectly willing to accept – if it turns out to be true – that you utterly distracted me with the failboats-in-love storyline, to the detriment of my focus on, you know, plot or whatever. It’s happened before. (It’s one of the reasons I need to go back and watch The Untamed again, at some point.)
OMG FAKE KEY! And as ZZS points out, this has been foreshadowed for us from early on, with WKX’s fake Glazed Armors plot. :bangs table with fist: YES. This show is going to reward re-watching SO MUCH.
Duan Pengju, oh my god, this asshole. The look on his face when the Armory didn’t open was so gratifying. Also, ha. I wondered when ZZS was finally going to be done with his shit. In fact, so much gratification in this whole scene. Xie Wang’s face when he realizes WKX double-crossed him – what, did you think you were the only tricksy one in that little alliance, Xie’er? And, holy shit – I cannot believe that Xie’er actually words this as WKX failing him, taking us back around to this theme one more time again. I would maybe feel a little worse for you if you hadn’t been a hairsbreadth away from killing him before ZZS stopped you in the last ep, Xie’er. Also if you hadn’t helped get A-Xiang killed. So I think the fail in this relationship is going both ways. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like you’re going to get the time WKX had to start untangling yourself from the ways your abuser has fucked you up and over.
It once again becomes blindingly clear why ZZS has been my ride-or-die during this whole thing: Under the grumpy, irritable, day-drinking yet somehow eminently practical exterior, he’s actually an idealistic do-gooder who just wants to make the world a better place for people and sacrifice himself for great justice. Never let it be said that I don’t have a type. Also, I mean. Zhang Zhehan’s FACE. Let’s don’t discount the power of that.
Final word: Don’t miss Ep 37. All three minutes of it. They are perhaps the most important three minutes of the entire show.
(I mean, not FINAL final word. I expect to be going back for a re-watch and posting more things, particularly on eps from before I started typing up 1000K-word reactions this first time around.)
#zhou zishu#wen kexing#zhang chengling#ye baiyi?#sure why not#ye baiyi#xie wang#duan pengju#word of honor#word of honor episode reax
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Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off
Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes.
Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa.
Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m:
A) Too lazy to play
B) Too broke to play
C) Too unskilled to play
D) All of the above
because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?*
*In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay.
A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.
I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was:
Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*
*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here.
Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.”
Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article.
By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school.
Here’s how this shit went down.
First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love.
“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!
Her consent!
In ancient Greece!
The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!
Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading.
Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that.
Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado.
And they lived happily ever after.
That’s the end of the post right?
NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me.
Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this.
There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend.
Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!
YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.
BUT WAIT.
There’s more.
The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!
For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon.
Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:
Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general.
Take that Zeus, for being so gross.
The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)
Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)
The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.
That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”
One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”
Mistress of Labyrinths.
Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!
Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?
And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!
What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.
Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them.
Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery.
Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big.
Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages.
Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason.
Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”
You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!
^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^
“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”
Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:
All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.
The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.
Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure.
A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!
Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?
ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!
Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy!
I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat. Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!
Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?
Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical.
Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot.
How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km.
The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.
Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.
Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.
Minoa was fucked.
The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.
Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.
Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year?
Mycenaea!
Guess who won?
Also Mycenaea!
Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs.
Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.
“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”
Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed.
Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi.
An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one.
In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories.
However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in.
This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.
The Mycenaeans were likely no different.
Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman.
Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.
Fuck the Mycenaeans.
* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more.
What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus.
With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy.
Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it.
All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more.
In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out.
#minoa#minoan#crete#ancient history#ariadne#mycenaea#mycenaean#I hate#HATE#HATE HATE HATE the Greeks so much#homer is a dick#So much spite and curiosity went into this#if I ever get a time machine I will travel to the first years of Mycenaea for the express purpose of burning it to the ground before#they get a chance#the opportunity#to look at Minoa wrong
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‘idea’ & self-knowledge as love as freedom
w thanks to @radiatingdyke & henrik !!
so in a previous post, i talked abt spectacle & respect in criminal for context. now starting off w henrik’s thoughts re: plato:
"It’s honestly pretty ambiguous what Plato means by it- at least in the republic- The core theory is that ideal forms are a truer kind of reality than the shadows.
The philosopher escapes a cave of shadows projected on the wall by a ruling class, the only “reality” they ever knew and were literally bound to. They crawl through a treacherous passage to find themselves face to face with the dazzling light of the sun which blinds them temporarily, and as their eyes adjust they find themselves in a forest and realize the shadow puppet of “tree” was not the real tree all along!
For what the shadows are: Idk how developed popular media/conventional politics were at the time but we (America) based a lot of our shit on it so I think one strong possibility is we find ourselves in a modern allegory of the cave where the shadows dancing on the wall are the world as it’s told to us- through news education and policy and the “real” is personal experience and genuine community. Then shadows would then be actual reality as we know it, including the real trees and personal experience, a veil placed over us by metaphysical forces which can be lifted through Godwork to reveal the true nature of the inner workings of the universe. The last part of the allegory is that the philosopher returns to the cave to free the other prisoners and spread the light”
so while criminal is the revelation in the toxic cycle of the idol culture & mutual destruction & obsession are confused for love, idea is making the decision to learn what true love & connection is, leaving behind the suffocating expectations demanded by the industry, & in the process, become complete in his humanity.
so we first see taemin in jail, condemning himself for his role in the toxic parasocial relations of idol culture, and literally... calling himself out.... altho i would say that this:
in criminal is purgatory proper, the jail may be the end point of his journey there. he confesses his sins, his soul gets purified, & then next we see him in the bar which is confirmed to be heaven (which happens to look much like lee soo man's office) while the flashy models stare at taemin, the walking dead, the posh people in suits (likely executives) ignore him.
so here we have taemin trying to fit in seemlessly in this world of the elites who have the highest level of control in the idol industry. here, he is assured his status as the best & now guaranteed to be free of pain... but on their terms. there is shallow comfort but nothing else. the others content w playing games & eating delicacies, surrounded by alcohol, but are contained to sitting, indulging in frivolities, & passively looking on but no chance of connection. the bar is just another form of intoxication, but unlike criminal where there is at least an illusion of attaining love, heaven is merely stagnant. this idealized heaven of the elites cannot give true freedom as it is based on sterility & exclusivity, just another form of social control. "the dangerous dream that swallowed me is proven by you." staying here would be another form of self-betrayal & denial of the love he seeks so he rebels against heaven through his dancing, an affirmation of his life.
taemin then being shocked that all these shadow versions of himself are not the truth... silvery dissolving forms... his identity fragmenting............ but still taemin still can't break away from the illusion that the adoration & fame he receives as an idol could be actually hurting him.
as @radiatingdyke has talked about, BoA's 'killing me' line is reminiscent of korean shamans channeling gods. significant that it is BoA who he channels
as they are both similar, debuting at a very young age & have been massive stars ever since then. "you are my messiah" BoA cuts him off, speaking the truth. this isn't who he rly is or what he actually wants. he must face himself & the truth or he will die.
the mirror steps are i think symbolic of plato's ladder of love. to my understanding, the ladder of love is basically about how the aim of life is the ascension of the soul to heaven. the gods can do this as a god's soul is in perfect balance w all the different aspects of itself which makes them
necessarily wise & good. humans' souls are in disarray, however, & it is this conflict between all parts of the soul which makes it difficult for us to follow the gods to heaven. to do this, people have to understand the true Form of beauty, by climbing the ladder of love. the steps start from loving a body which one is attracted to due to physical beauty & by understanding the beauty of this body, one can then consider how the beauty of one body is found in all bodies. the progression goes on from loving more broadly until we come to the last step, love of knowledge & wisdom. now one is able to see the actual form of Beauty, bringing harmony to your soul. so in order to taemin to finally know peace within himself, he has to know how to love.
& the progression of the ladder implies for me that by first learning to care for others but understanding who they are in their completeness & beauty, you eventually are able to learn to care for yourself & see the beauty in your own soul. & on the flip side, the better able you care for yourself, the more you are able to care for others. i'll discuss this more when i go into my thoughts on act 2 as a whole but basically, the rest of act 2 has a truly warm & loving atmosphere when taemin speaks to the other. in comparison, act 1 presents his experience of 'love' as enmeshment, painful, confusing, losing his self of sense to cater to the desires of the other. there are feelings of obligation to stay in this destructive relationship bc that’s his prescribed role & anyway, any attention is better than none at all.
ppl w a poor sense of self can readily suffer mistreatment for the sake of a semblance of connection, confusing obsession for love when what’s rly happening is actually cathexis, an investment of emotions. while care & affection can exist w cathexis, as does happen in fans’ relations w idols, this is not the same thing as love which liberates & cultivates growth in yourself & the other. fans’ obsession w idols quickly flipping to hate when idols stray from the designated persona of perfection is investment in that image but is not real love. in act 1, he does not understand the other clearly for what it is, destruction that must end, & the fact that he is suffering. without such awareness, he is incapable of truly giving & receiving love.
& while act 2 does have similar themes of taking on other's pain, it becomes a stark contrast to act 1 bc he does so from a place of utter assurance of his identity & true self-love, not from the fear of being left alone. he loves himself for who he is so he is able to love for ourselves purely as well.
& as @radiatingdyke has said (& in much more detail than i can) the ladder reflecting the sky can also be a reference to indigenous korean beliefs where the sky represents the entire universe. the creator god is Hanulnim, literally sky god.
also, even tho NGDA as a whole is replete w western imagery & references & v catholic, the overarching narrative of the 2 albums don't feel western to me in that there never is a fight between good & evil. a typical western narrative would be more like there would the defeat of like 'criminal' taemin by 'good' taemin or an obvious redemption arc. & to me, idea doesn't read so much as he confronts & then accepts both the good & the bad in him but that he leaves behind these limited concepts altogether & instead connects back to the true essence of the universe & becomes free to be utterly himself.
he’s struggled so much over the course of his career w figuring out how to reconcile the duality of himself, what it means to be authentic as an idol, wishing for his true self to be seen & appreciated. it’s always been looking outward for that validation but skirting away from revealing the whole truth of himself... & idea is the final answer to all that. no more denial, repression, burning away of the past, configuration to other ppl’s desires, no more use of mystery as a defense against the fear of being rejected if people see him for who he really is. he accepts himself for who he is & that’s all that matters.
in classic gaytholic taem fashion, he compares himself to jesus + mary + other divinity in NGDA imagery but ultimately, taemin is done w being both a god & the condemned. “i’ve finally opened my eyes.” he’s never been anything but a human being & he’s showing us all the beauty in that.
#taemin#never gonna dance again#kpop#finally done w this post...!! i accidentally deleted it like twice#[upside down emoji w tears]#anyway... idea is abt love NGDA is abt love as much as it abt taemin's personal transformation into a new self
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Descent Pt. 5
And we’re back again with some more Simeon! I still hate every word I write! The past few chapters have been a challenge to slough through, but I hope you still take this humble offering enjoy it.
Chapter Index and Obey Me! Masterlist: here
Ao3 Mirror: Here
Part [1] Part [2] Part [3] Part 4: [4] Part [5] Part [6] Part [7] Part [8] Part [9] Part [10]
Pairing: Simeon x Reader
Genre: Smut
Wordcount: 4,300 ish
Tags: Sex toys, smut, femdom, anal toys, oral, pet play, anal
Summary: Simeon presents you a plot twist to his novel that leaves you gobsmacked and surprised, to say the least.
Slide
It became a regular occurrence for you to be working ‘overtime’ during the weekends with Simeon. It wasn’t something you minded. He always seemed to have something he wanted to try and it didn’t seem like he was falling behind in making any deadlines, so you didn’t have any concerns with indulging him in whatever he wanted to do.
On more than one occasion, he let you be in control. There was always a thrill that ran through you when he allowed you to dictate just how the scene would go. Simeon was eager to please and you were more than satisfied with what his tongue and his fingers could do to you. If you wanted anything more than that, he was always happy to please you with one of the many tools at his disposal.
The weeks melded into one another and work was always on your mind. It became a bit problematic considering your other clients also needed your attention. Luckily, with Simeon being so high profile, you were able to transfer the workload to a few new recruits the company had just hired. Though the transition wasn’t exactly something you wanted to do, you were rather attached to all your clients, Simeon’s work took priority above anything else.
The epic spy story he concocted had quickly become quite the project for you to edit. He somehow wove a rather involved story outside of the intense sex scenes. It meant you had to go through his words with a fine toothed comb to ensure there weren’t any inconsistencies. It meant you had to remain impartial and critical of the sex scenes he wrote. Seeing the lewd acts you had done written on paper had a different effect on you than you expected. It made your face burn knowing that your escapades with your client would be immortalized on paper. There was also an excitement about it, being the only people who knew of the source of such lascivious words.
Despite all the sexy rendezvous the two of you had on the regular, Simeon never failed to be the prim and proper author during the regular work week. He went to meetings with the publishing house with you as needed and made appearances for interviews to maintain his relevancy. Not once did he ever put his reputation or his relationship with you at risk while the public eye was on him. It was such an odd dichotomy between his professional self and the version of him that appeared whenever he was alone with you, you sometimes wondered if he was actually two different people.
What you didn’t know was how difficult it was for Simeon to keep everything in check. The more time he spent with you, the more his desires grew and became a dark void within him, swallowing the light he had spent centuries cultivating. He wanted so much more than what he was allowed. He had an internal mantra going at all times, reminding him that what he did was for work, he could never defile you. He respected you too much to drag you down to the dark with him. He was better than that. He was an angel. Your angel.
You always looked forward to the weekends. Simeon always took such good care of you whenever you stayed over. It was a chance for the both of you to unwind, even if it was for ‘work’ purposes. He eventually lost most of his initial shyness and became more vocal about what he wanted. The direction worked well in his favor, helping him write the most detailed sex scenes you had ever read in your entire life. His years of literary experience truly made up for his lack of sexual knowlege whenever he submitted something for you to go over. It was hard to critique the quality of the scene, but you could always find a few missing commas or half finished sentences here and there for him to fix up.
He found pleasure on nearly every surface of his home, save for his bedroom. Something about that room seemed too sacred to breech for him. Not that you really minded, there was more space on the floor and it was easier to bend him over the arm of a couch to help him into his favorite plug. He had taken quite a liking to it, often telling you after a long meeting or interview that he had sat through it with it in him. “It’s good research.” He explained, but you didn’t know how much of that really was for his book and how much of it was for his own pleasure.
So, when he greeted you one weekend, you nearly fainted when you saw him sporting a skin tight sheer body suit, bunny ears and a tail to match.
“What the hell are you thinking?!” You couldn’t make eye contact with him, not when he was dressed like that. “What part of your book has anything to do with … any of this?”
He blinked innocently and smiled, guiding you over to his couch so you could sit down and compose yourself. You heard the front door click closed and the sound of him locking it seemed to be so much louder than usual. It was too bold of him to approach you like this, he had said nothing about a scenario like this, and you were sure there was nothing in his book that would hint at any of the characters dressing in such a manner.
You couldn’t deny he looked absolutely spectacular in that get up, though.
It was surreal watching him saunter back to the living room and casually take a seat across from you, crossing his legs and looking as if he wasn’t dressed up like the definition of insanely provocative. “So, I’m sure you have some questions.”
“I… I can’t figure out where to start asking you,” you admitted, unable to tear your eyes away from how well the body suit hugged his taut muscles and left nothing to the imagination. The fact that the material was completely sheer and you could see how erect his nipples were in the right light didn’t help his case any. The addition of the damn tail and ears made you wonder if he had suddenly changed genres to set his novel in a fantasy setting.
“Well...” he started, placing his hands on his knees and smiling softly. “I needed something to really get readers invested in how evil the villain is. So, I thought, what’s more evil than human experimentation? The villain would start mixing humans with animals and creating sex craved hybrids.” The smile was still plastered onto his face, his eyes crinkled in glee as he explained his plot twist to you. You could barely believe your ears. Not only had he come up with something else you had never seen coming, he willingly put himself in that outfit to get the scenes right.
I can’t tell if he’s a genius or if he’s insane…
Simeon was the latter. Insane with a desire that he couldn’t comprehend. He desired more than what he was given and he kept chasing that high he first felt when he saw you riding his pillow in that sunroom so many weeks ago. Each new experience with you brought out something darker in him. Every time he thought he could stop himself, he found a new excuse to try yet another thing he read about online. He was yours in a way he couldn’t express, until he stumbled upon the idea of becoming your pet.
It was a perfect cover up for fitting the fluffy tail plug into him and donning on the raunchy outfit. He didn’t want to admit how obscene it was on him, but seeing your shocked expression when he greeted you was well worth the discomfort. He belonged to you and you to him in a way that transcended your work contracts. He had no words to describe the feeling of elation, of freedom he got every time he came at your command. What started off as a way to get words on paper soon became an unhinged addition to your touch, your praise and your approval.
He timidly walked over to you on the couch, kneeling in front of you and laid his head on your lap. Simeon looked up at you with wide eyes and the slightest hint of a pout. There was no way you could deny him. Even if you had suspicions about his intentions of becoming an ‘animal’ for the day, his adorable expression whisked your concerns into the ether and you patted his hair gently, earning a hum of happiness from him.
It seemed as though the lamb had found a pet rabbit.
It was easy to dote on Simeon in this manner. If it weren’t for the ears and the tail, you could have pretended it was a quaint afternoon, pampering your loved one. The innate sexual tension that arose from his outfit and his explanation of why he was even dressed like that was nearly suffocating. You could imagine all the innocent things in the world, there was no denying that Simeon was going to push his boundaries in the end for the sake of his novel.
It was bliss to lay his head in your lap, feel your fingers run through his hair and caress his scalp. Simeon crooned in content. He wasn’t sure what sorts of noises rabbits made, so he took a few artistic liberties on that end. He’d figure out the specifics when he got to writing. What mattered at the moment was the feeling of your nails slowly dragging themselves through his scalp, sending shivers down his spine. He didn’t think he’d enjoy being so submissive when he was around you, but you brought a calm in him and it was so relieving to relinquish control of everything.
He sighed softly, feeling himself slip into a light doze from your gentle touches. Every now and then, you would scratch the back of his neck and his whole world would light up when you did. With every passing day he became more attached to you and everything you could give him. He sighed in content, feeling his muscles relax and put more of his weight in your lap.
He didn’t know when he feel asleep, but it was the most peaceful rest he had in a long time. Your warmth and company sent him into a deep and dreamless sleep. All the stress of writing something he was unfamiliar with and the constant vigilance of staving off his own fall had worn him down quite a bit without him realizing it. In your presence though, he was safe to be himself. Simeon. Not an angel, not a renowned author, just Simeon. That safety was oddly the most liberating feeling.
“Did you sleep well, my angel?” you asked when he saw him stir a bit.
“How lon--” You pressed your finger against his lips, hushing him.
“Last time I checked, cute little bunnies don’t speak.” You chided and he snapped awake, remembering where he was, what he was wearing and who he was with.
Simeon straightened up, sitting back and squatting to mimic a bunny’s stance. His arms between his legs extended just slightly to keep his balance. With the change in position, he could feel the plug in his ass shift along with his movements and press further into him. Just that little change was enough to stir his hormones awake as well. He knew before long he’d be aching and wanting some sort of release. The question today was: how would you let him reach it?
It had been a peaceful hour or so while Simeon napped in your lap. It gave you plenty of time to think through what you wanted to do with him. Though he had approached you innocently, you knew that in the end he was supposed to represent a ‘sex crazed’ human-animal hybrid. You felt a twinge of guilt, he had been sleeping so soundly, it was almost a shame that you were about to rile him up into a whimpering mess.
He watched you with wide, apologetic eyes. His lips were turned up in a pout and whatever ‘anger’ you had for his little slip melted away at the sheer adorableness. You leaned over and gave his head a pat, readjusting the ears that had become crooked while he slept. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll learn to be a good boy quickly. Isn’t that right?”
He nodded enthusiastically, the pout turning into an enthusiastic smile and he leaned into your touch, cooing softly. You weren’t sure what noises rabbits made, but it seemed appropriate for the scenario. You’d roll with it for the time being.
“Has my precious bunny been taking care of himself?” you asked softly, scratching under his chin and you were rewarded with a heavenly smile filled with mirth and happiness. He let out another coo of content, nodding again at your question. “Good to hear. But I’ll have to check that for myself.”
You lead him to the couch, bending him over the arm and spreading his legs. It was a position you could never get enough of. His ass in the air and his cock hanging between his legs was such a tantalizing image you took every chance you could get to have him like this. You carefully walked around him, dragging your finger across his body as if you were ‘examining’ him. “Mm, my bunny keeps in such good shape. I’m so proud of him.” You praised, giving his ass a firm squeeze.
Simeon gasped, letting out a soft moan which turned into a sigh. He had lost his character for a brief moment when you had complimented him. His heart sang and his ears rang as he played your words over and over again. Your hand suddenly at his rear squeezing it and playing with it sent his barely restrained hormones straight to his dick. You had the delightful privilege of watching his cock twitch and grow, straining against the flimsy see through fabric of the body suit.
The fluffy tail served to be a great little thing to ‘examine.’ You were responsible for the well being of your pet, so it was only natural you were thorough in making sure he was in good health. You took joy in tugging on the plug, making sure it was snugly fit into him. He had grown so fond of being filled recently, you wondered if the tail had been just an excuse for him to get some new toys for himself. With how easy it was to get him hard whenever there was ass play involved, you couldn’t say you would have been surprised if that was the case.
You left his tail alone after a bit, letting his mind rest before you went to ‘examining’ the rest of him. Your hands caressed his inner thighs, your lips following their trail as you kissed them up and down. It was easy to pretend the fabric of the body suit wasn’t even there with how thin it was. You hummed, content to be where you were between his legs and nuzzled his hardened length. You could hear his strangled moan above you as you teased his cock.
“Oh? what’s this?” You asked innocently stroking his shaft and watched in glee as his thighs quivered around you. “Does my bunny need to breed?” You heard a whimper above you, his hips moving along with the motion of your hand. You didn’t need any words to know what he wanted from you, but it was fun to tease him while he was like this.
You moved him to lay on his back on the couch. You kept his legs spread and his knees drawn up so you had a clear view of both his tail and his cock. Almost instinctively, he had his arms wrapped around the back of his knees to keep his legs in position. You smiled, giving him deep kiss as a reward for doing what you wanted without having to ask. When you pulled away, the debauched look on his face was so sinful, you nearly forgot about your promise to him and had to restrain yourself from sitting on his dick properly.
He was breathless, blushing madly and mewling while you continued to inspect every inch of his body. While it was a shame to ruin such a well made body suit, you couldn’t stop yourself from tearing at it to feel his skin properly. The shredded fabric only made the debased scene all the more sexy to you. Simeon was freely moaning as you nestled yourself between his legs and covered his chest with kisses.
Your fingers toyed with his sensitive nipples and he was keening under your touches. His legs and arms shook in the effort to remain in the position you wanted him to be in. You could see desperate tears forming in the corner of his eyes and you leaned up to kiss them away. He was so close to breaking, you just wanted to see him pushed a little further in this role before you let him have his way with you.
“Don’t cum in my mouth now, okay?” you demanded before you sank between his legs and gave his aching cock a long, slow lick.
The sound that came from him was almost inhuman, to be fair, Simeon had been put under a good bit of distress with how much he had been teased. The build up he had psyched himself up with only added to how great everything felt.
The sound of the body suit being torn away from him echoed in the room as you ripped the fabric away until you had unhindered access to his dripping cock. You made sure to keep your eyes on him while you took him your mouth. He was torn between screwing his eyes shut to hold off his orgasm or keep watching you work him with your mouth. He had never needed to make such a difficult decision before. Eventually he settled on watching you in short bursts before he needed to focus on holding back his load.
He was so beautiful in those moments, writhing and doing his best to follow your commands. There was a distinct feeling of pride that welled in you as you watched him do whatever it took to be a good boy. He truly deserved only the best reward.
So, you redoubled your efforts to give him the best head he had ever experienced. Taking him until he hit the back of your throat, you moaned, relaxing your reflexes until he was fully seated in your mouth. You took slow breaths through your nose, moaning into his cock and sending him into a full body shudder as you sucked hard. “P-please… please...” he cried from above you, his thighs quivering violently as he held back his climax. “Please.”
You couldn’t fault him for breaking his character. Figuring he had enough torture, you left his cock with a lewd pop, drool and a bit of his precum leaked down the side of your mouth and you made sure he got a good view of you lapping up what you could before wiping it away. “Alright, I think it’s time to properly let my precious bunny breed like he’s meant to, right?”
You kissed him tenderly before pulling away from him just long enough to kick your skirt up and pull down your panties. Your pussy was a wet mess, but you knew he wouldn’t go there. Instead, you got on your knees, bending over and spreading your ass to get a good view of your ass. “Come on, come and get your reward.”
Simeon couldn’t react fast enough. His whole body was moving on instinct as he reached for the nearest bottle of lube to douse all over your spread rear. You shivered a bit as the cold liquid was spread on you. The initial feeling was uncomfortable, but it would still be better than taking his whole cock without any at all. The wet sounds of him covering his cock in the same lube were so filthy, it even had you blushing.
The sounds died off soon enough as the tip of his cock pressed into your ass and you gasped, struggling to adjust to his size with so little preparation. It wasn’t the first time he had taken you in this way in the past weeks, but it was the first time he didn’t bother stretching you out first. He stopped, breaking his character to make sure you were alright before proceeding. Once your breathing evened out and you pushed back into him, he continued to slide every inch of himself into your tight hole.
It was always a mind blowing experience to accept his whole length into you. Even if it would have been better if his cock was in your pussy; you didn’t mind the compromise you had made with him at all. The feeling of being filled with his cock was one you wouldn’t pass up for any reason. The first pass was always the most amazing, especially with how he groaned once he was fully seated in you.
As soon as he was sure you were ready for him, he got to ‘breeding’ you as the sex craved animal he had become. Your hands moved from holding your ass cheeks apart to bracing your body against the ground to keep you steady while he rammed his cock into you over and over. There was nothing left but the carnal desire between the two of you. He growled, leaning over you, getting as much contact as he could while he thrust into you.
You felt his teeth graze your shoulders and your neck, nipping and leaving marks all across your skin as he claimed you. His hands at your hips dug deep into the flesh, leaving large welts where his nails were. He had tossed away the docile bunny act to claim the prize he had worked so hard to obtain. Simeon grunted, feeling himself get close to his climax. After the amazing blowjob you gave him, he knew he wouldn’t last long inside of you.
He grabbed you by your hair, pulling your body up and flush to his own, never losing the brutal pace he had set. You winced at the sudden pain, but a hand snaking around your waist to rub your clit had you forgetting all about it. Simeon was a fast learner. He knew just how to play your body to bring you to a climax in time with his own. At this point, you were not much more than one of his sex toys he owned with how he was using you.
His fingers at your cunt were soon covered in your essence as he rubbed your clit in quick, yet firm circles. His teeth sank into your shoulder as his pace inside of you became erratic and he was rapidly losing what control he had over his body. “Cum… Cumming...” He growled, warning you right before his seed was emptied into you.
“Mine...” you heard him snarl protectively the moment he came.
His hips stilled for a bit as the brunt of his orgasm overcame him. His fingers never stopped working at your pussy, wanting to feel your whole body constrict around his cock. It didn’t take too much more effort on his end. The warmth of his seed filling you was all you needed to go over the edge with him. Your ass clenched around his cock while your pussy was woefully empty. You moaned his name as you came, shaking in his arms as you rode out the high with him.
Simeon stayed still for a bit longer, waiting until both your sensitive bodies felt ready to disconnect from each other. He was careful as he pulled out of your ass. Seeing his seed leak from the tight hole once he fully pulled away was always so satisfying and he wished he had his phone with him to take a picture of just how beautiful you were in the afterglow of such an intense session.
You all but collapsed onto the floor once you were allowed to, your muscles feeling like jelly after he had so mercilessly taken you. You needed a few moments to recollect yourself before retrieving some towels to help clean up the worst of the fluids that covered the two of you. Pulling the tail plug out of him rewarded you with a rather indecent moan from his lips. His whole body convulsed briefly as the thickest part passed his anus and his body sagged in relief once the whole toy was removed.
As soon as he was able to, he crumpled into your arms, demanding cuddles and affection again. “Did I do good?” he asked, looking up at you expectantly.
You laughed good naturedly, taking the ears off his head and tossing them to the side. “I’ve never had a pet like you, for sure.”
“But was I good?”
You smiled, running your fingers through his sweat dampened hair, watching him melt into your embrace while the two of you had a naked cuddle session on his couch. “You were better than good. You were absolutely perfect.” You reassured.
He sighed, resting his head on your bosom and snuggling closer to you. He wrapped his arms around you and clung to you. “Mine...” He declared softly. The sudden statement made your heart skip a beat. You had initially thought he had uttered it while fucking you in the spur of the moment. Hearing him repeat it while he was comfortably wrapped around you held a different weight.
“Mine.” he repeated as he drifted off to sleep in your arms. “All mine.”
As long as you belonged to him, it didn’t seem to matter if he fell all the way to the pits of hell or not. He belonged to you. You belonged to him. All was right in the world.
And once again, the darkness in him grew.
#Obey me#shall we date#obey me simeon#Simeon x Reader#Obey me Fanfiction#obey me smut#My writing#i'm trash you're trash we're all trash#I'm really hoping I get over feeling like every word is the absolute worst soon#Fingers crossed since I'm kinda excited for the next chapter#please let me know what you think?#sometimes I feel like I'm writing into a void on tumblr so idk if ppl like it or not#tl;dr#please validate me somehow
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I shouldn't even get into this, but unfortunately I saw it, and now I'm thinking about it! There's this weird argument that floats around here about whether or not minors and adults should be allowed to interact. Or even more strangely, whether they should be ENCOURAGED to. On the "against" side, you have the concern about grownups crafting coercive relationships with impressionable children, and all the stuff that such a power imbalance can lead to. On the "for" side is...this bizarre idea that young people need to form relationships with older people while they're still young, or else they'll never learn HOW to relate to older people. Which is like...I actually don't understand what that's describing. This conversation usually arises around the topic of whether tumblr users under 18 can form safe relationships with users who are in their 20s and 30s. The idea that kids SHOULD actively seek out bonds with people who might be twice their age, because otherwise they're missing out on important developmental experiences and might wind up maladjusted, is just funny to me. It seems to me that you learn how to relate to other people in basically the same way no matter how old you are; you take an interest in others, and you express that by being friendly and compassionate. That stands true even if you never knew the joys of robust intergenerational friendships while your young brain was still developing; you're not going to wake up one day at 19 with NO IDEA how to deal with the 30 or 60 year olds at your first internship because you failed to explore relationships with people that age when you were in junior high. If you and another person are basically from the same culture and share the same language and general social standards, you don't need like special lessons in how to talk to that person on account of their being 10 or 20+ years older. This argument would eventually eat itself: "How will a teenager ever learn how to talk to a 30 year old? How will a child ever learn to talk to a teenager? How will a baby ever etc..." I'm also not sure what social ills are supposedly perpetuated by minors NOT experimenting with how to form healthy relationships (as this is often stated) with adults. Part of the implication is usually that if minors develop active, wholesome relationships with older people, then they will be able to spot out the predators by comparison--but the bad news about that is, you learn to identify predators by witnessing the bad stuff that they do. It's not a matter of saying "Y = not X"; abuse survivors aren't just people who never had enough good relationships to make a useful artificial prediction about bad relationships. The only way to avoid predators, besides the protection of the people responsible for you when you're still young and defenseless, is through having such strong self-esteem and/or intuition and/or street smarts that you know when you can and should say no to something that feels wrong to you...or, if that sounds like a tall order for a kid, you'd have to learn by experience: something bad happens to you, and you figure out how to avoid letting it happen again. Believe me, you would prefer not to go that route as a child if at all possible, and you don't arrive at a state of healthy development by somehow magically making the correct relationship choices the first time all the way through the tenth time and the hundredth time, all by yourself. That's not how life works, and when you're still a kid, you shouldn't have to always know what to do with adults; a little preventative medicine is in order. Nobody who cares about a young person wants to have to say, "Aw, so it turned out that 35 year old tumblr brony who's always complimenting you on how cool and 'mature' you are, was saying those same things to a lot of OTHER 14 year olds to see who would give out their number or send him the most 'mature' pictures the fastest? Well, that's life. I'm really glad you're totally left to your own devices with strange adults, because there is no other way you would ever learn to figure out
who the good ones are." Knowing how to relate to adults develops AS you become an adult; there's no reason it has to be sooner. It is NOT best developed through children becoming so intimate with the thoughts and behavior of adults that they evolve a prematurely advanced perception of which adults are abusive narcissists or pedophiles. I would use as evidence the millions of people in history who generally avoided abuse, and ultimately developed normal relationships with people their own age and beyond, without any kind of systematic schooling in how a 14 year old can connect with a 35 year old. I recently stumbled upon a looooong thread about this social theory, with people adding things like "My grandparents' friends come over every Sunday and I love them!" and "I have a great relationship with the older ladies at my summer job!" and "I visited my older siblings at college and all their friends were super nice to me!" And it's like, nobody is saying that you should be locked in the attic when meemaw's friends come over for bridge. Nobody is saying that you should stubbornly ignore your middle-aged boss. Actually, a lot of those situations seemed to involve either a relative who looks out for the young person, or protective barriers like appropriate workplace behavior; nobody seemed to want to admit that the real concern is older adults cultivating intimate, unobserved, one-on-one rapports with people who are too young/inexperienced/easily intimidated to see what's coming. It's important to note that strong relationships usually form between people who share some version of the same life experiences--who relate to each other, because the other person "gets" them, has "been there". You don't want to have to explain yourself all the time to someone for whom your greatest pains and joys are still pretty abstract, because they haven't had time to get to them yet. Like if you haven't made it through college yet, and somebody who has been through all that and more is pretending to deeply identify with you, well, you COULD have found an exceptional connection, sure, it's not absolutely impossible; but there's a much better chance that something could be seriously wrong.
#i'm like 100% positive this rhetoric was originally authored by NAMBLA or some shit and now people are just repeating it without thinking#but i don't feel like googling it lest i wind up on some type of LIST
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Coin Master Ios
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– The spins and the coins won’t just disappear
Disadvantages of the generator
– If your fellow players or opponents see that you have 9999999 spins, they will report you, so you must be careful who you tell about the Coin Master hack without a mobile number
– You could lose motivation if the game is too easy
– Your friends will all be jealous
Otherwise, we can only recommend you to use the Coin Master cheats, because they save you a lot of money and time.
Description of the hack
With the Coin Master hack apk you can get a lot of spins and coins in a very short time. Players from all over the world love the hack and use it almost daily. On Patch, Wattpad and many other sites, you can see that thousands of players have already successfully used the Coin Master hack tool. It is the easiest way to get free coins and spins without spending money.
Description of the game
“Join your Facebook friends and millions of players around the world, in attacks, spins and raids, to build your Viking village to the top!
Do you have what it takes to be the next Coin Master?
** Spin to earn your loot **
Spin the wheel to fall on your fortune, be it attack time, loot, shields or raids. Win your loot and build strong villages in the game and move up towards higher levels. Win shields to guard your village from other vikings trying to attack you. Become the Coin Master with the strongest village and the most loot!
** Attack and Raid fellow vikings! **
Attack or raid friends and foes to save enough loot to build your village. Fight back and come out victorious against your enemies. Take revenge on those who have attacked your village and take what’s rightfully yours!
Coin Master Ios Hack Download
** Collect all the Cards! **
Collect cards to complete sets and move onto the next village. With every village you conquer, your wins will be greater.
** Play with friends! **
Trade your cards with our online community to collect them all! Join our fast growing interactive Facebook community to meet new viking friends, earn big rewards, and trade treasures!”
Source: App Store
Coin Master Mod Ios
Download
Price: Free+
You can download the official game, create an account and then use the Coin Master Hack. This is not a Coin Master mod apk!
Now we wish you lots of fun and success in the game! Don’t wait too long, because we never know how long the Coin Master Coin Hack will work. See you!
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