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jonathanrook · 3 years

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legally i have to give you intern 2

em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.

How I feel about this character:

i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.

(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)

however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.

i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).

i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.

the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!

HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).

again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.

i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.

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All the people I ship romantically with this character:

nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!

also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*

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My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.

alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.

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My unpopular opinion about this character:

HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).

when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.

when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!

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One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.

i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).

#long post #this took me an hour to write i literally had to get a snack in the middle of it #mymusicshow #mymusic show #question #mlentertainment #also having a character named scene when you have to write about scenes like. in a story is an absolute bitch

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tirednotflirting · 4 years

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"I knitted you a jumper" with bach lashton (ashton is the one knitting obvs)

meghna you are the loml and this was so fun to spend the afternoon on, esp after trying to write these two again for AGGGGGES and coming up with something. so i hope you enjoy this <33333

can be read here on ao3 bc it’s like 3k bc i kinda ran away with this lol

Luke could pinpoint the exact moment the need for a hobby like knitting must have jumped into Ashton’s mind.

He always tried his hardest to wake up by late morning on his days off so his whole day wasn’t wasted away on sleep and could instead be spent running daytime errands or lounging about with Ashton. They had both nestled into each other’s homes pretty permanently in the last few months, their closets and grocery favorites split pretty evenly between Luke’s apartment and Ashton’s little hideaway. (Though Luke has to admit that his heart still flutters any time Ashton calls his little place home.)

It’s also pretty typical that his days off always begin with lazy cuddles beneath warm sheets before one of their stomachs starts throwing a tantrum for breakfast or Ashton decides it’s coffee time. But on one particular morning in late September, Luke wakes up alone, his arms reaching out for a warm body beside him only to find the sheets pushed toward him and the space cold, evidence that Ashton had been up for more than just a quick run into the bathroom. Luke sits up and lets the sheets fall to pool around his waist, his chest bare and cold without his human space heater to keep him cozy. His lips drop into a pout as he rubs the sleep from his eyes and he reaches for his phone to check the time. It’s just before noon but he doesn’t remember Ashton mentioning anything about morning plans.

He drops the phone back onto the bedside table he’s claimed at the home Ashton’s taken up residence at since his “death” earlier in the year. It still never fails to astound Luke how Ashton’s careful way of living has been enough to keep the public believing the whole thing but some days he finds himself thankful for it. He knows their paths likely never would have crossed without it. Well, that and the fact that apparently Luke’s grocery store friend Calum turned out to be a childhood friend of Ashton’s from back home in Australia.

(The two of them had had a good laugh about the whole ordeal about a month or so into this thing that Ashton and Luke have had going since their initial meeting. Sometime in early summer Ashton had mentioned that the friend that owned the place was going to come over for dinner and Luke can only imagine how funny the face he made must have been upon seeing Calum walk through the front door.)

Luke wanders into the closet and pulls on one of Ashton’s jumpers before wandering out in the direction of the kitchen. His favorite mug sits on the island and he smiles after realizing it’s already filled, the color indicating that Ashton added the cream and sugar for him already. He lifts the mug to his lips and takes a sip while glancing around the room since he still hasn’t spotted Ashton. But then some movement just beyond the window tells him where to find his boy.

He pushes at the sliding door that leads into the backyard, Ashton’s massive garden taking up most of the space. Ashton stands in the middle of all of the plots that once held all kinds of summer fruits and vegetables. Even from the door though, Luke can tell that something is wrong. Ashton looks like he’s having an argument with himself but also just looks a bit sad. Luke leaves the back door open (every day they get closer and closer to the point in the year where the weather will no longer allow the fresh air in the kitchen and they’ve been trying to take advantage of it while they can) and wanders over to where Ashton stands, his arms crossed and forehead wrinkled.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Luke greets him, his voice still scratchy from sleep. Once close enough he presses a kiss against the creases in Ashton’s forehead and he feels them relax just the slightest bit beneath his lips. “What’s bugging you?”

Ashton sighs defeatedly and lets his arms unfold to wrap around Luke’s waist, his head dropping to his shoulder. “I picked a very summer oriented hobby. And now I don’t know what I’m going to do until spring.”

The concern Luke had noticed in Ashton’s face makes sense now. Ashton liked to stay busy, he went a little crazy without a project (the years of working in TV seemed to have left that effect even with the way he had found a way to escape that world). The back garden had been a great answer of where to expend all of that energy and their climate and location really wouldn’t allow it again until the spring. He was right.

Luke lifts his free hand to play with the grown out, faded black curls at the back of Ashton’s head. “How about some house plants? We’ve got great light in the living room here and at the apartment?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton shrugs against Luke’s chest. “Just isn’t the same as getting to spend all day out here, I guess. But I could give it a shot.”

Luke lifts his other arm to wrap around Ashton’s shoulders, careful that he doesn’t spill his mug. Ashton lifts his head from his shoulder and Luke finds himself pouting at the sad look in the hazel eyes across from him. “Don’t worry, Ash. You’ve got such a creative mind, you’ll figure out something.”

A small smile pulls at Ashton’s lips. “Mm, yeah, you’re right,” he starts as he lifts his face to press his lips against Luke’s cheek. “I’m going to go get what’s left from the green bean plants and we can do them with dinner? And would you mind unlocking the front door? Calum said he was going to stop by with a package from my mom.”

“Sure thing.” Luke drops his arms from around Ashton and lifts his mug for another sip. “Gonna make more coffee too. You want another mug?”

“Yes, please.”

Luke heads back in the direction of the house, his mind wandering with ideas for house plants he remembers his mom keeping around growing up as suggestions to share later. He stops just before reaching the door and turns back toward the corner of the yard that Ashton has made his way over to. “And don’t forget your hat if you’re going to be out here much longer.”

“Of course, love.”

Luke smiles, the domesticity of all of this hitting his heart for just a moment, and makes his way back inside to refill the kettle.

It’s a few weeks into November when the boxes arrive at Luke’s door.

Ashton’s family had been visiting for the week and Luke wanted to make sure they had proper family time so he had made the choice to stay at the apartment in between shifts that week. He had come over for dinner to meet everyone earlier in the week but after that had left them to reconnect at the house.

He had just woken up about an hour earlier when he hears a knock at the door. There’s no one there when he goes to open it but there are probably close to ten small packages (why they couldn’t have all just been in one big one is beyond him) all addressed to Fletcher Hemmings.

(When Ashton started using the name to get orders delivered to Luke’s place, the brightest blush had painted it’s way across Luke’s face in an instant.

“What?” Ashton had questioned, honestly. “Hardly anyone really knew my middle name anyway and it’s so much less suspicious showing up at your door if it’s got your last name on it.”

Luke spent the rest of the week with the thought of sharing a last name with Ashton on a constant loop.)

He knows he needs to finish getting ready and head off to the hospital soon, so Luke texts a picture of all of the boxes sitting on the kitchen counter to Ashton with a few question marks and finishes his normal run through the apartment searching for his scrubs (the turquoise ones, of course, since it’s Friday) and makes a coffee before heading down to his car.

His phone starts ringing as he’s parking at the hospital. Luke smiles at the selfie of Ashton kissing his cheek before sliding his thumb across the screen and lifting the phone to his ear. “Doing some early holiday online shopping, are we?”

“Ha, not exactly. But the family has just headed off the airport so I’m going to head over and make sure everything got delivered, if that’s alright?”

Luke smiles softly as he hits the lock button on his car and heads toward the entrance of the hospital. “At some point you’re going to have to realize you can give up on this whole asking permission to come over. Ash, you literally get packages delivered there and have a key, of course you can come over.”

He hears a dramatic sigh on the other side of the line. “I know, I know. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early, as always,” Luke says while holding his ID card to the door to get the automatic doors to open up. He heads down the hall in the direction of his department, waving to those he passes with a smile. “You think you’ll be down for a sugary breakfast? I’ve had French toast on the brain all week and I want to hear all about your time with the family.”

“Yes absolutely, but I’m going to pick up some fruit on my way over. Balance is everything.”

“Alright, Mr Healthy. I gotta go,” Luke says while sliding in behind the desk and setting his bag beside his chair. “Love you, drive safe.”

“Have a good night, babe. Love you too.”

Luke smiles as he clicks out of the call and sets his phone down before tapping quickly at the keyboard to log in for the night. Behind him he hears someone clear their throat. “You know at some point you’re going to have to introduce us to this sweet man of yours. You know everyone would just be complete heart eyes like yourself if you brought him in one night.”

Luke rolls his eyes while turning to face Alex, the surgical resident that’s been on rotation in their department for awhile. “Fine, I’ll bring my guy in when you bring Jack by to hang out for the day.”

Alex laughs as he pulls out a couple files he must have been digging for out of the cabinet against the wall. “Oh, please, Jack absolutely does not have the kind of sense of humor that I can bring into a pediatrics department. Or at least not while I’m still working here.” He opens another cabinet and shifts the papers around in his arms to accommodate the growing pile he’s creating. “We can just double date sometime.”

Luke smiles and tries to hide his disappointment at the fact that there’s a zero chance of that ever being a possibility. “That would be fun.”

“Have a good shift, Luke,” Alex calls as he wanders back down the hall. “Tell all my favorites that Doctor Alex is bringing cookies tomorrow!”

“Will do!”

Luke wanders back into the break room then to make the first pot of coffee for the night and feels his phone buzz in his pocket while he rests his hip against the counter while waiting for the pot to fill with water. It’s a selfie of Ashton, his hair pulled back into a small bun, holding various bags of produce with a smiling Calum in the background.

He remembers Alex’s heart eyes comment then and feels a blush across his cheeks as he replies with a string of fruit emojis and the story of the conversation he’s just had.

Luke is used to arriving home after work to a sleeping Ashton against his pillow. Usually he’s wearing one of his t-shirts and it makes him feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy and just generally lucky and in love. So he’s surprised when he gets home at 8am to find Ashton sitting in the middle of the couch, his legs folded up beneath him with a pair of knitting needles in his hands and what appears to be a long scarf stretching out onto the floor.

“Hey, love, what are you up to?” Luke greets as he walks into the living room after dropping his bag onto its hook. Luke lets his hands drop onto Ashton’s shoulders as he moves to stand behind him, his thumbs rubbing circles at the tension pretty much always present between his shoulders.

“Well, a while back when I started having that crisis about what hobby to pick up for the winter months my mom suggested I try knitting,” he starts, his voice slow and a little distant as he obviously lets most of his concentration stick to the task at hand. “And she sent me some beginner’s materials and it turns out I don’t suck at knitting and it’s also quite fun. So I ordered a bunch more and now everyone is getting hats and scarves for the holidays.”

“That’s so lovely, Ash.” Luke smiles. Because genuinely, it really is. The living room at the house was filled with various house plants that Ashton had taken a liking to when Luke walked him around the gardening store on Facetime in October but he had been a little worried about Ashton having something a bit busier to occupy his time with. “So all the boxes were like, yarn and stuff?”

“Exactly. Though that’s all in the car now since I didn’t want you accidentally catching a sneak peek at the materials for your present. I want it to be a surprise.”

Luke jumps over the back of the couch to sit beside him. He wraps his arms around Ashton’s middle, out of the way of where his hands work, and presses a kiss to his temple. “I can’t wait to see it. Or wear it. Both, I guess.”

Ashton takes a second to finish his row and then sets his work aside. He turns to let his legs fall across Luke’s lap and drapes his arms across his shoulders. “I’m glad. I’m excited to make you something.”

As he takes in his boyfriend’s tired eyes and smile (it’s obvious this new activity might have gotten him up a bit earlier than usual), Luke can’t help but lean in to press their lips together for a moment. He feels Ashton relax more into his arms and the lucky and in love feeling starts flooding his mind again. Luke pulls back but lets his forehead stay pressed against Ashton’s as they giggle at each other for a moment.

“French toast time?” Ashton questions once they pause in their laughter.

“Please.”

The feeling continues to float around in his brain as he watches Ashton cut up fruit while he flips the bread on the griddle. Though really, he thinks, that feeling has probably been taking up most of his mind since the day they basically wandered into each other’s lives.

“Would you hate me if I give you your Christmas present early?”

Luke looks up from his spot in front of the fire to find where Ashton stands in the doorway of the living room, his hands holding something wrapped in bright red tissue paper. He checks his page number and makes a mental note before closing his novel and setting it aside. “Of course not, I love presents. Though the last part of yours is still in the mail so if you wanted this to be an exchange, we’ll need to wait.”

Ashton beams, his eyes bright and happy. “No, no. I’m okay to wait for mine but yours is done and I want you to have it right now.”

Luke smiles and he pauses to take a sip from his first coffee of the morning. “Well, I would love to have it then.”

Ashton wanders across the room and takes a spot on the floor beside him and places the package between the two of them. Luke tugs at the ribbon wrapped around the paper and gently rips at the tape to pull it open. As he realizes what’s inside, his lips fall open just a bit, from shock or joy or both he’s not really sure. “Ashton, I-”

“I knitted you a jumper,” he says, his voice quick while his fingers nervously play with the edge of his sweatshirt. “And it was a little daunting and probably a little bit beyond my skill level with this but you like jumpers and I wanted to make you a jumper.”

The smile on Luke’s lips continues to pull across his face as he lifts up the soft, baby blue jumper that Ashton made with his own two hands and Luke specifically in mind. His heart feels so full, like it’s going to burst out from his chest and across the room. “Love, this might be the kindest thing anyone has ever given me. I’m like, never going to take this off.”

He watches Ashton relax some then, his smile shifting from eager into something more fond. “Well, you may want to wash it every once in a while but I really appreciate the enthusiasm. Also try it on now. I want to make sure it fits.”

Luke hands off his mug to make sure he doesn’t knock it over and Ashton takes a sip while Luke unfolds the soft garment and pulls his arms through the sleeves. It fits like a dream, which especially surprises him since Ashton never asked to take his measurements. Though he supposes he could have just been taking a tape measure to another one of his jumpers at some point in the last month.

Luke sits up then and scoots closer to Ashton until he can pull himself halfway into his lap and wrap his arms around his neck. “Thank you, Ash. You’re perfect. I love you so much.”

Ashton pulls him closer toward his chest and presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I love you too. Glad I can keep you cozy with my crafting.”

Luke laughs gently before he straightens up, moving to stand. “Alright, now it’s my turn to show you my love and appreciation in the best way I know how.”

Ashton pulls a face that’s a mix of confusion but also something suggestive, and Luke only rolls his eyes dramatically. “I’m gonna make the second pot of coffee.” He winks down at where Ashton still sits on the floor as they both start laughing.

Ashton reaches a hand up for help off the floor. “Man of my dreams, you are.”

And as they wander into the kitchen, Ashton hopping up onto the counter to keep his bare feet off the tile floor, Luke can’t help but agree.

#lashton #lashton fic #it's bach au !!!! the boys are back #also the way i have like a completely different plan for jalex in this au but wrote that scene and then was like eh they can stay #so we are ignoring our own continuity errors here at tirednotflirting #meghna thank you so much for having such great and wonderful ideas #and being just so lovely and smart and the absolute best #i love you to pieces #okay this is probably enough here now lol #reveriesofawriter

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stevethehairington · 3 years

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Tagged by: the lovely @scimitar-and-longsword 💕💕

Name(s): my name is Mack, and if this also includes like usernames too then my ao3 is macksdramaticshenanigans and obviously yall can see my tumblr url lol. i have a fandom twitter but i hate twitter so i barely go on it lmao.

Fandom(s): oh boy haha this is a loooong list. as of right now, the main fandoms i’m involved in are The Old Guard and Trust FX, but in the past i’ve written for Skam, Marvel, Good Omens, Love Simon/Simon vs., Shameless, and IT. and ofc there are some fandoms i have not written for that i casually enjoy as well.

Where you post: all my fics are posted on ao3! or are sitting in my wips folder lol. i’ve ocsasionally posted some snippets of writing here to tumblr, but none of those are like full on, proper fics, mostly just me rambling off some thoughts i had about whatever characters in whatever scenarios

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): Imagine Being Loved By Me (918 kudos) ((so close to 1k holy shit!!!! if it got to 1k i think i’d actually die of happiness omg)) this is my Good Omens smut fic lmfao, crowley is fantasizing and aziraphale makes it a reality skgjsd. i’m actually pretty damn pleased with how this one turned out, and i never expected it to get that many kudos so that makes me ridiculously happy sfjgfg. (and also podfixx made a podfic of this fic which made me INSANELY happy like that is the coolest thing ever)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): I Have Hella Feelings For You (697 kudos) ahhh this one!! this one is actually my very first ever chaptered fic!! it’s a skam fic, and i have the most distinctive memory of me sititng in my dorm bed freshman year of college, furiously typing away at my laptop everyday for a week because i somehow managed to post a chapter every day until it was finished, which meant i was writing a new chapter everyday. like damn, i really peaked with that huh? lmao

Favorite story you’ve written so far: ahh okay not to like. toot my own horn kgfldg but this question is HARD bc i have a lot of favorites. i’m going to pick a favorite from each of my main fandoms i’ve written for because i’m an Indecisive Hoe okay fdjdf.

- From Marvel: Just Called To Say I Love You this one is my wrong number stucky fic and i actually adore this one so much, and also it actually ended up being WAY more popular than i expected it to? like i was lowkey shook by how many people liked it

- From Skam: If You Love Me, If You Hate Me so. about this one. it’s probably my favorite skam fic that i’ve written. but. it also is the utter bane of my existence bc this is the one and only fic i have ever written and posted that i haven’t fnished gskgjfdlfs. it’s going on soon to be a little over 2 years of sitting on my account as an unfinished wip, but i REFUSE to mark it as abandoned bc i really genuienly DO want to finish it, i just havent written for this fandom in a while and inspiration/motivation is tricky yknow? but anyways. this fic is my soccer au!! it was a gift for a secret santa exchange i believe to a dear friend of mine and i still feel awful that i never finished it but. one day!!

- From Love Simon/Simon vs.: Where I Like You Best i am actually obsessed with this one. is that weird to say about your own fic? i enjoy reading a good soulmate au, but writing them has always been SO daunting to me bc i never feel like my ideas are original enough or like things that havent been done a lot for that trope. but for this one!!! omg i found the BEST prompt for it and it fit these characters SO well and i wrote it and i ended up absolutely loving how it turned out, and i was so proud of myself for writing a pretty successful soulmate au.

- From Shameless: Wooden Floors, Walls, and Window Sills so this one was my second ever gallavich fic, and it’s probably my favorite because i think it’s the best characterization i got of them in all of my fics, and good characterization is one of the most important things to me when i write fic.

- From IT: To What We Might Do is my favorite reddie fic i’ve written! i definitely projected onto richie a teeny tiny bit in it for some parts lmfao, but yeah idk i just love how this one turned out a whole lot, and i enjoyed how i ended it too (esp since endings can be very difficult for me lol). ((BUT also a special shoutout to my fic Imagine Me and You, I Do bc that one is just pure fluff and i adore the concept of someone being just so absolutely in love with someone doing something so incredibly simple and it just rocks their world)

- From Good Omens: I Want To Know What Love Is (did i use the most cheesy title ever? absolutely. do i love it? absolutely.) anyways this fic is one where crowley the demon experiences love and promptly thinks he’s dying.

Fic you were nervous to post: ooh, i mean i’m always pretty anxious about any fic i post because i never know if it’s going to be recepted well or if people are going to like it or hate it or if anyone is even going to read it or repsond to it. especially if the fic is a gift for someone, because i just really want that person to like it yknow? but yeah idk if theres one in particular i was more nervous to post than any others... i guess maybe any smut fic? just bc i never know if the smut is even any good lol

How do you choose your titles?: eaaaaasy, i usually pick song lyrics lol, ocassionally i’ve used lines from a poem, and a few times i’ve gone with a pun, but mostly it’s song lyrics. i usually find a song with lyrics that i think will fit, or if there’s a particular song that vibes well with the fic or that i listened to repeatedly while writing the fic i’ll try to pick the best lyric from that one.

Do you outline?: yes and no lol. it honestly depends. sometimes i outline extensively, but other times i just sit in front of a doc and let whatever happens happen.

Complete: on my ao3 account i have 80 works completed (will be 81 once i finally finish that one single unfinished wip i have posted gahhh). but i know in my wips folder i have a at least one finished fic that i have not and probably will not post. there are also some other things in my wips folder that like technically could be conisdered finished too, but it’s not up to my posting standards so until i fix it so it is it’ll just sit there lol.

In-Progress: honestly there are too many to count lol. i have a shiiiiiit ton of wips (as yall will know if you saw that one ‘tell us about ALL your wips’ tag game post that was going around that i did lol).

Coming soon/not yet started: tbh see above answer bc it’s pretty much the same lol.

Prompts?: so the thing about prompts is that i would LOVE to take them, but it’s very very tricky bc i’m a super specific kind of gal and if i don’t vibe with the prompt it’s very difficult for me to write anything for it. but then there’s also the fact that inspiration/motivation are fickle bitches and they come and go as they please and so taking prompts is hard bc i never know if the stars will align and all that jazz for me to be in the ~ right mood ~ to work on a prompt. this is the exact reason why i have SO MANY sitting in my inbox right now, and i feel so bad for just letting them sit there but ughhh brain function?? how?? lol

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: sooooo i don’t necessarily have any specific works in progress right now (i’ve been so busy lately that writing has been the last thing on my mind and so i haven’t touched anything in weeks) but. i guess if i can ever get my shit together and finish the primo fic i’m close to finishing i’m pretty excited to post that! or honestly if i can actually get myself to finish any of the tog wips i have i’d be suuuper excited to post any of those bc i have not yet posted any tog fics!!

anways!! if you made it to this point thanks for sticking w me and reading through my long winded rambly answers lmao

Tagging: @peachykoya @wandering-scholar-lad @raynertodd @cluelessheroes @pinesboi @thewolvesrunwild @1derspark

#tag game #my wips #mack writes

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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

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ahhh it is embarrassing how my siblings find me in the most candid moments,, i'm just glad that the video didn't spread too far among my friends,, because i know for a fact that if it reached far enough, someone would end up posting it here!! at least they always threaten to do so... 😖💫 oh my, and morgy dear, you are one sly fox, don't think i missed where you called my existence "ethereal" in tags... you are way too sweet to me!! but really, the only thing ethereal here is you~ 💞 (2/9)

"i started watching playthroughs of the ace attorney games today (since i can't afford to buy any of them) and i really enjoy it so far!! i can't wait to watch more, and this coming week, i plan to set a day aside to watch more of our show 😉 (3/9)

ooh, something quite funny has happened today,, i put out this question on instagram asking if any of my friends want to go out for dinner with me sometime (since i was bored and i think it's a nice idea hehe) and now i have TONS of people saying yes!! oh gosh, it's quite crazy! i feel bad for it but i think i have to pic just a few people, since the amount of contenders is overwhelming,, ahhhh i do hope they'll take it well!! 😅 (4/9)

today was spent working,, tailoring clothes and cleaning the house to be exact,, it was all so tiring, and unfortunately i was the only one who was able to do it since everyone else was "busy",, mamma mia,, but i did end up having to do more food shopping today, and it started to storm super hard while i was out! i am scared of thunderstorms, so being out and about during one is truly a nightmare for me!! (5/9)

they are so beautiful but terrifying at the same time,, oh gosh, it was even worse since i was out by myself,, no one to latch onto for safety 😖 i think the thunderstorm may be related to a hurricane that is incoming towards my country,, it most likely won't hit as bad in the north (where i am) since the storms tend to die down and wash out in the atlantic by the time they reach here, so we'll probably just get more thunderstorms,, (6/9)

though in return, we get these awful storms that we call nor'easters, which are basically wintry hurricanes they are truly awful for me to live through since i do not do well with cold at all,, my friends and i actually got caught in one by accident last year, and we were stuck outside for 3 whole hours... ah that was such a scary situation!!!!we all ended up going to the hospital to get checked out since we were trapped for so long... (7/9)

everyone i know in person always talks about how we're "survivors", but i'm not sure if that's the right term to use... i guess it's the law of equivalent exchange? a hurricane for a nor'easter hehe ☁ speaking of storms, when the rain died down, i went to check on the bunnies,, and the poor cuties were soaked and shivering! i offered them my raincoat and umbrella to stay under, but i guess they were desperately cold, to the point where they cuddled up to me! (8/9)

i ended up laying there for half an hour, trying to warm the little bunbuns up,, and even though i came home shivering myself, i'm so happy that sacrificing my body heat was enough to help them!! 😊 oh my stars, i feel the tiredness hitting me, I guess that means sleepy time hehe! goodnight dolcezza, i'll see you tomorrow!! sending sweet dreams your way 💕 - love always, your adoring waifu 💋🌺💘💌🌠 ps: we must definitely go out to dinner together,, no if's and's or but's about it~! 😘 (9/9)"

Ok so before i say anything else tungle mighr have eaten the first part to ur letter and im boutta throw fists 🗿🗿🗿🗿 but either way i gotta say darling my eyes read over the words "sly fox" and i immediately c r e a s e d jhdusuxhdjs im only stating facts alright🤪🤪🤪 it wouldn't be the first time someone calls me sly but i take that as a compliment really👁️

And before we dive d e e p e r lemme tell u a lil secret....i myself did not buy the aa games so if u acc want to play em hmu👀👁️👀👁️

Ok so as for the storms thing i gotta say thats fuckin wild ur life really does sound like a move darling u know rhshxhd i do know its esp bad lately from another american friend of mine who told me that it also heavily rained in her area (she's on the east coast) so🗿🗿🗿 but ig u would be called survivors since technically u made it thru a natural disaster which is fuckin w i l d

Its nice to see that u were more productive again ofc (and also u warming those poor bunnies up? Icon 11/10 disney princess right fuckin here) but i gotta say once more idk how u do it....i'd be burning up the house when attempting to cook and shredding the clothes in less than a second🤡 my day was spent writing (smth non jojo related) then i went out and played football until my legs gave in and pain shot thru my entire body since my dumbass can go at it for h o u r s completely ignoring if i scrape some skin or shit like that just bc i wanna push thru and keep playing a h a

On another note, im p sure ur friends would all want to go out w u (i myself the most but shh) 👁️

#damn right im a sly snakey fox 😳😳#bc i'd be lying if i'd say i wouldn't fly to america and protecc u from [za storms]#the confessional

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

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Random Writing Tidbit That Is Longish…

… This is a kids’ show, I say.

I’m not a big fan of unnecessary edge, I say.

And then I come up w/ stuff like this. ^^;

So this is really messy and not great, but the idea wouldn’t leave my head.

In case anyone was wondering, this is why I was looking up stuff about Russian Roulette—bc I do not actually know much about guns. I eventually reached this version after a bit of debating about what to do.

This is also kind of a follow up on ‘Jin is the only person Horobi lets touch him, esp his head’ idea.

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“Horobi! You’re hurt!” The alarum in Jin’s voice was coupled with a reach for the gash on Horobi’s head, one hand tugging a little at the covering, torn slightly by the same attack.

“It’s fine.” Horobi snapped, returning to his seat at the computer.

Jin, however, was not satisfied. Pouting, he refused to be shaken off; taking proper hold of Horobi’s head wrap, he pulled it off himself, determinedly ignoring the small, irritated look and eye roll he got. Setting the wrap down, he turned back to examine the cut, trying to hold Horobi’s head still while the other HumaGear kept trying to work. “… It’s not fine.” He grumbled. “Horobi should take better care of his head.” After dabbing at the blue dripping from the cut with a sleeve, Jin turned away to search for something else, still holding Horobi’s head. “After all, it’s-”

When his son’s voice didn’t restart, Horobi frowned, pausing to turn his chair. “… Jin?” The other HumaGear was frozen, just standing there, one hand still sitting on Horobi’s hair. “Jin.” After another moment, Jin shuddered back to life, turning back to the cut on Horobi’s brow without a word, his other hand raising again to reach the end of the wound by the remains of Horobi’s earpiece. The frown deepened slightly. “Jin, are you alright?” His son still said nothing, fingertips drifting down to the damaged section of Horobi’s head, pressing closer than they ever had before, actually reaching right into the broken parts and wiring. But because it was Jin, it didn’t hurt at all—even when something clicked, then snapped.

His visual display flickered, and he was only vaguely aware of Jin’s touch vanishing from his head. He knew about the disconnect from his body even before the damage alert came up, when he tried to reach for his son, whether for his comfort or Jin’s, he didn’t know—only to find he couldn’t move at all. Jin stepped out of reach regardless, his ams dropping to his sides. “Jin…!?”

“He can’t hear you.” Announced a dreadfully familiar voice, and a white-clad figure stepped into view from behind Jin, standing out in the darkness of the room. Horobi struggled to move even more desperately in the silence that followed, frantically trying to reach his son. The screen of a device in Thouser’s hand flickered, and he glanced down at it, then chuckled slightly. “… Don’t bother.” The man drawled, sidling over to stand in front of Horobi. “I had him disable your motor functions.” Jin remained completely still, like he wasn’t even registering the human’s presence.

Finding his eyes still working, Horobi shifted his gaze to glare at the man. “What did you do to Jin?!”

Thouser laughed again, moving to lean on the edge of the computer box. “Oh, nothing unusual. We had to alter the program a little because he was so unique, but eventually it took on well enough.” He looked the still-frozen Jin over with another chuckle. “Suits him, really.”

Horobi scowled, glaring as best he could. “You…” The word was a furious hiss.

Thouser smirked again, straightening to close in and circle around Horobi’s chair. “It’s your own fault, you know.” A hand came roughly down on Horobi’s shoulder, an unwanted and horribly familiar contact that made every alarum in his system go off. “See, I noticed something. After the procedure, you got all paranoid. Wouldn’t let anyone, not even other HumaGears, near enough to touch you. But…” Another hand slammed down on his other shoulder, jostling him uncomfortably, making his hand drop to his side from where it had been resting on the edge of the computer. Gripping the paralysed HumaGear by the shoulders, Thouser forcibly turned him and the chair to face Jin. “… You let him touch you. Even your head.” One hand moved to prod carelessly at the disfigured part of Horobi’s head, and Thouser smirked when the HumaGear winced, unable to flinch away. “Goes without saying your damaged parts are your weak point, but we’d never had a way to get to them before. But with him…” The man’s arm reached around, grabbing Horobi’s face roughly by the chin and forcing him to look up at Jin’s expressionless face—his son’s eyes were empty, void of his usual brightness, and his smile was replaced by a stony blankness that didn’t belong there; he was staring through both Horobi and Thouser like he couldn’t see them. Thouser’s hand on Horobi’s chin was gripping so tightly that it would have hurt had he been human, but was unpleasant in another way. “… There was a way. All we had to was get to the one you trusted. Growing a heart is what left you open to attack.” With a small shove, Thouser released Horobi’s chin as unceremoniously as he had grabbed it, sending his head bouncing again until it fell against his shoulder. Straightening up, Thouser paused only to grab a handful of his hair to yank his head back upright, making sure he was still facing Jin as the man circled back around to his son’s side, leaning infuriatingly casually on Jin’s shoulder like the HumaGear was a bookcase. “And now here we are.”

“What do you want?” Each word was level—not from calmness, but from sheer rage.

Thouser smirked. “From you?” His tone was light and casual, in comparison. “All I need is admin access for the Ark.”

“You’d have to kill me first.”

Thouser laughed, a terrible, grating sound, from Horobi’s perception. “I figured you’d say something like that—but I also know you’ve never once feared for your own life. But then I thought…” He straightened up, keeping a hand on Jin’s shoulder. “… What about his?” Horobi stopped breathing, his voice abandoning him, unable to react, or even tense from anger and rising desperation and panic. Thouser saw it in his face regardless, and the smirk broadened into a grin. “That’s what I thought. So…” The man reached into his coat with his free hand. “Let’s play a game.” The hand returned with a revolver. Turning back towards Jin, Thouser let go of his shoulder to pull the HumaGear’s wrist up and tuck the weapon into his hand, curling Jin’s finger around the trigger. “Hold that for me, would you? Just… Like…” Hauling Jin’s arm up the rest of the way, he positioned the hand so that the muzzle was pressed against Jin’s temple. “… That.” The man stepped back, holding out his own arms like an artist displaying their work, then pivoted to face Horobi again. “Last chance before we start.”

After a bit of struggling, Horobi found some of his voice, an enraged whisper through gritted teeth. “You expect me to believe you’d damage Jin? You’re too greedy for that.”

Thouser let out another nasty chuckle, pacing back around to get behind Horobi again. “Ah, but we also have you.” The hands came down on his shoulders again, this time nearer to his neck like they were ready to curl around it. “You remember making him, don’t you? So all we’d need to do is go back through your memory to repair him—and there’s no way you don’t have backups hidden away. Which also means we can do this as many times as we need to for you to transfer the admin info. So…” The man leaned down to talk right into where Horobi’s earpiece had once been, clearly enjoying Horobi’s desperate attempt to flinch away from the sound even though he couldn’t move. In general, anyone but Jin getting that close was already unbearable—but it being Thouser was infinitely worse, the man’s very voice sending him spiralling back into the memories of the day he’d lost a part of himself. But then the hands tightened a bit around his neck, and the awful voice continued, “… How many times are you willing to watch him die?” Horobi’s voice caught again, and Thouser’s terrible laugh reverberated against his back again at his silence. “Well, if you’ve got nothing to say…” The words were punctuated with a firm nod toward Jin—who obediently pulled the trigger. Horobi’s eyes snapped closed.

There was a sharp click, and nothing more.

Very slowly, Horobi reopened his eyes to find the exact same scene he had closed them against. Still horribly close, Thouser laughed again. “Looks like you got lucky.” The man shook him once more, though not enough to move his head and let him look away. “Know how Russian Roulette works? There’s one live shot in the chamber, and I alone know where. You have until it goes off to give me the admin access.” There was another click as the hammer swung into another empty slot. One of Thouser’s hands moved to dangle his phone near Horobi’s face. “… Better hurry up before he finds it.”

Jin pulled the trigger again, followed by a fourth, harmless click. When his son’s finger began to pull back for a fifth time, Horobi broke, closing his eyes even as he gave the internal command. Thouser’s phone flickered, then beeped, and the man mercifully moved back, releasing Horobi’s shoulders, to look at it. “There you go.” He announced with malicious cheer, stepping back around Horodi’s chair. “Was that so hard?” He looked up at Jin and waved a dismissive hand. “You can put that down.” Jin immediately did as ordered, arm dropping back to his side as Thouser came back over to him. “… Because now…” The man paused by Jin’s side to take the revolver back, tucking it safely away in his coat again, then looking back up to give Horobi another cruel smile. “… We don’t need you anymore.” He turned briefly back to Jin. “You can use your own, this time.” On cue, Jin pulled his personal firearm from it’s holster, flipping the safety off and stepping forward to set the barrel against the side of Horobi’s head, right against the damaged part, without a single hesitation.

“Don’t worry,” Thouser continued with the same faux friendliness, slinging an arm casually around Jin’s shoulders— Jin didn’t react at all, remaining expressionless, the gun still levelled at Horobi’s head, even when the man patted his shoulder. “… I’ll take good care of him. He won’t remember a thing. So…” There was a malicious glee in his eyes that was impossible to miss. “… If you have anything to say, say it now.” Moving back, the man made a grand, sweeping gesture with his arm, bowing deeply. “I’ll leave you two to yourselves.” With a spring in his step, he disappeared from Horobi’s line of sight, behind Jin, towards the door.

There was a silence between them—Jin still blank and cold, void of any emotion, Horobi feeling more than he could remember feeling at any other point in his existence.

Finally, he found his voice again. “It’s alright.” He told his son quietly, well aware that the words fell on deaf ears. “It’s alright.” There were tears he couldn’t shed in his voice, forcing himself to look into the empty eyes and admit the one secret he’d always kept the closest. “… You’re my missing piece.”

There was a massive eruption of sound next to his head when the gun fired, and he felt it when the bullet first hit, setting off every single alarum in his system—and then everything shorted out.

Horobi slumped sideways out of the chair, collapsing to the ground and lying still. For a moment, Jin, too, was completely motionless—then Thouser banged on the door and whistled like he was calling a dog. With slow, uncharacteristically mechanical motions, Jin snapped the safety back on and re-holstered the gun, falling back; he held for another spell, staring down at Horobi for a little longer. The banging on the door grew louder, and the whistle harsher. Still abnormally rigid, he twirled on his heel and trudged out the door after Thouser—leaving Horobi alone on the floor.

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Sooooo… Thouser’s a shit in this version. I don’t know his name yet, so I was just bouncing back and forth between ‘Thouser’ and ‘the man’ and ‘the human.’ Bc I consider reusing the same noun multiple times to be too repetitive. ^^;

Anyway. Hope this came out comprehensibly enough to be slightly enjoyable.

#Random Writing Tidbit #Kamen Rider Zero-One #Kamen Rider Zero One #Zero-One Spoilers #Zero One Spoilers #MetsubouJinrai.fam #my precious evil stoic scorpion dad #my precious evil cutie falcon son #I'm sorry boys #for anyone wondering where Ansatsu-chan is #he was out #he comes in after #bc I have obviously planned what happens next #like I would leave my husband like this ^^ >//////////////////<#Binary Retro Rider

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warstorys · 5 years

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season 2 commentary (after 201) i’m sticking to frank-centric stuff but boy! i have so many opinions about everything but i want to focus on frank for the sake of my blog.

i want my initial thoughts from over the course of the season down first, which is what this is, and then i’m gonna hammer out any canon divergences ... or if i’m even gonna bother with this season’s existence at all apart from amy lol

i’m not ... actually enjoying season two much. there are snatches here and there that i really like, and concepts in here that i think are really tasty, but then the rest of it isn’t sitting right with me and i’m not really enjoying watching it.

the two storylines - amy’s storyline and billy’s storyline - are both impressively weak and the moreso for the fact they don’t cross over at all. the trailer implied these things would be meeting up and marrying together but they don’t and it’s ... i really enjoy the individual characters - amy, curtis and dinah having a tonne of screentime with frank is awesome - but i don’t care for the story itself. it’s weak and disinteresting and crucial things like billy being a fucking fugitive have their important dropped after a couple of episodes and its just, it’s not an interesting season, sharon.

i was really unimpressed with the fight scenes so far but the sequence at the end of 203 finally brought things up ... closer to the standard that i’m used to ... a good use of music meets some impressive shots and a bunch a good atmosphere and for the fights to be well-choreographed, that’s what i want out of Every tps fight and it’s what s1 gave me and i just don’t quite feel that from season two

i don’t think frank is necessarily appreciating how scary he is to a 16 year old girl even if she is a smartass and it’s bugging me a little considering he’s usually pretty good at making girls comfortable and interacting with them ... ? i wouldn’t mind if he just eased up a little. just a drop. just a teeny tiny bit. obviously he does as the season goes on but then he does shit like hold amy at gunpoint and like - not in my canon thanks

“a man's got a right to defend himself and those who can't” is probably my favourite concept because of the way it pivots frank away from vengeance and more towards being a true antihero but here’s the thing — the rest of the season isn’t following through on that? frank’s temperamental and self-destructive - in part because of his tbi - but. i don’t like the direction the season is taking with him, particularly from about mid episode eight onwards. curtis pointing out that frank is very, “he doesn’t want to feel for you because he’s scared of getting hurt ... and he’d rather stay mad at the world than risk being a part of it” is dead on, but ... um ... like, frank unlearning his shit and starting to move on was the entire point of the end of season one. i wanted season two to be about him reconciling that crap whilst finding a way to exist as the punisher, too. i think there’s negative character development and there’s just ... idk, a complete breakdown of frank as a person. i want him to care about himself and the people around him?

frank constantly being an asshole to curtis pisses me off also; “way to go curt” are you serious? curtis doesn’t have to do any of this or be involved in any of this and to my mind ... it doesn’t tally, again, with season one. frank being shitty to curtis literally makes zero sense and makes me so angry. the flip-flopping on this is crazy, too; you can’t have frank treating curtis like shit and then going “yeah you don’t owe me anything” with no apologies in between. i’d rather frank is just, decent to curtis, given that curtis one of his oldest friends and someone he trusts so completely

and i don’t care if s2 tallies w the comics, i’m not writing comics frank

i’m kinda trying to work out how i feel about the kastle stuff; largely i Don’t want frank to keep shutting himself off and acting like he doesn’t or can’t care, but at the same time karen suggesting they just ... run away together was never going to fly. frank can love people and be the punisher and that’s what i want; if people’s lives aren’t compatible with frank’s choices then they need ... to stop. it can’t be all or nothing. frank has to learn how to strike a balance, you can’t ask him to give it all up. and that’s something i appreciate about amy and dinah and curtis? like they know frank can’t just wholesale Stop, even if they’d like him to, so they live with frank as he is, and they (i believe) know their own limits for when they’re done with him.

i feel like ... this whole thing has just culminated in driving everyone away from frank and i might be repeating myself as per previous bullet points but that is the exact opposite of what i want...? i feel like he’s successfully driven curtis away and he pushed karen away and ... they’ve done this thing where, they’re balancing out frank letting some people live, people with families or people who aren’t “worth it”, letting frank’s moral code evolve into protecting the innocent and. yet. he’s just isolating himself? even when he says “i’d do anything for amy” they’re still letting frank be driven apart and isolated and made alone - they send amy away, they sent micro away, curtis is ‘done with frank’, etc - and i don’t ... want that, i’m powerfully disinterested in frank being alone forever.

uhhhhhh lmao the flash forward at the end of 213 was literally horrible like are you - serious the last shot we have of frank castle is him contextless murdering a bunch of minority youths? you really cannot be real???? FUCK OFF thats so cancelled

whatever i do with this mess of canon, i want the scene where dinah and curtis are napping together on the couch to exist forever. esp with, as amy called it, The Punisher Pity Party, gndfkgfd. just a bunch of people sat around being mad that they love frank castle. what a mood.

finally: why doesn’t netflix/marvel know that curtis hoyle is gay?

anyway the tl;dr is that i’ll probably toss the majority of season two out of the window because i didn’t like it. and it doesn’t matter anyway bc in a couple of weeks they’ll cancel it ✌️

#tps s2 spoilers

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aphgermanyheadcanons · 6 years

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👀👀👀 I would love for you to talk about Lud's development from ww2 to modern day for hours

anon ur feeding my ego here who knows what disastrous consequences may spawn from ur actions but??? just know that ily

WELL my friends since we are here!! B) let me divulge to u ,,, the evolution of Lud. i could start with him as a child but i admittedly know way less abt that time period n also that would take ten years so that shall be for another ask

ludwig during ww2 was rlly rlly messy in the sense that he wasn’t exactly in his right mind. he’d defo been brainwashed by the propaganda n in general he wasn’t a fun guy to be around. ludwig was arrogant, impetuous, too hyperfocused on exacting revenge n showing everyone wrong. he thought he knew best which rlly caused a rift between him n his brother

his desperation in the time period just before ww2 led him to grasp at literally any promise of smth better, but instead of rising back up he fell down the slippery slope to some place even further from where he’d originally started. ludwig turned a blind eye to many things he shouldn’t have at the prospect of havin smth- anything- better for his ppl n a shot at revenge n power aka proving himself bc he was young n stupid. he ostracized those that truly cared abt him like his brother (who was never rlly for what was going on), rod, eliza, liech n im sure a few others as well, isolating himself to soak in that damn web of lies

ofc disillusionment is never pretty esp when ur the one who made the mistakes n as we’re all aware ludwig had screwed up big time. by the end of the war ludwig’s eyes were opened n his middle name was Regret his first name was Guilt n his last name was Failure. ya boi was not in a good place emotionally not to mention economically, socially n politically but yk thats another story!!

what i would like to touch upon is where ludwig was maturity wise at this time. i’d like to remind u all that ludwig at the time of ww2 would’ve been hm 130 at most?? less than two centuries thats for sure. in nation years he was a child, he should’ve looked like a gotdamn child but nah lud grew up too fast by the start of ww2 he was already lookin 18-19. ludwig was forced to grow up fast n tho this is applicable for many nations he grew up at a time when many of his “peers” already had centuries beneath their belts. i’d argue this is esp important to note considering how most of the european nations grew up at roughly the same ish time. this explains some of why lud was so eager to stake his claim on the world. he would’ve felt a heckin lot of pressure to show he rlly was on their level

anyways ludwig was young af when he was thrown to the wolves n tho that doesn’t justify his actions it’s smth to keep in mind

so lud’s out here coming to terms w the fact that’s he’s screwed everything up n likely if it weren’t for the western aid ya boi would’ve been a goner. he was to keep it short depressed n basically ready for Death™. it was legit just alfred’s marshall plan n the fact that his ppl were still a thing that forced him to power thru. but yessu the aid sent by the west spurred on the miracle of the rhine which marked the bringing back up of germany to his feet after the war n lud eventually did recover from his depression say, around the 50s bc u gotta do what u gotta do when ur a nation

ludwig from then on out did experience better times i mean discounting a few things like the berlin wall- ah yes i should talk abt this

alright so before the division of germany ludwig had always had gilbert around for him. gilbert had raised him since the v beginning n even thru his ugly stages aka ww1 n ww2 gilbert had stuck w him. it was only after ww2 that ludwig was truly separated from his brother, forcing him grow up once n for all n shoulder the true burden of a full fledged Adult™. war guilt, recovery n repercussions ensured it. moreover, ludwig felt responsible for the abolition of prussia amongst many other things that had occurred as a result of the war so a big part in his magically doubled maturity was the desire to recompense for his wrongs n become someone his brother might someday be able to forgive

which is ridiculous considering gilbert would die for ludwig get it bc he did

so anyways!! ludwig builds himself back up into a respectable member of society n bam we get all the goodies of present day germany like the EU, etc. germany rn is one of europe’s most influential players n i would say?? a lot of this is bc ludwig wanted to make up for what he did wrong tho this eventually was coupled w a desire to become a nation his ppl could be proud of again n i’d say he’s done a fine job of it! ofc this isn’t to say he’s without his problems but ludwig today is a much more mature n agreeable man than he once was largely due to what the world forced upon him n how he decided to handle it

tldr; ludwig was Messy during ww2. he realized that was bad n felt rlly guilty esp bc of gil gettin demoted from nation status so ya boi worked rlly hard to become someone his bro n his ppl could be proud of n matured n accomplished a lot making him into the gr9 dude he is today

also im writing a fic on the subject of post ww2 germany (that will be gerame based) that i should prbly post the first ch to but !! follow me @realmwrites for news on when i do eventually post it B)

#aph germany #aph prussia #hetalia #aph #german bros #wow i lov my son #anon ur the best for sending this ask #relationships #realm headcanons #aph headcanons #hc #history #character development #answered asks #Anonymous

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thenightisland · 7 years

Text

updates under the cut

post one

post two

on this edition of “fuck you 2017″

we had one of our techs get her head bashed in with her walkie talkie for no reason like just walking her checks like she was supposed to and the pt grabbed that beat her head in and tried to stab her with her own pen and showed zero remorse and could give no reason as to why she did it so that room was so full of blood that it looked like a crime scene and they had to literally mop it up and the tech had to go to the er obviously

a pt got punched in the face by another pt and in trying to keep the two apart, my alpha tech got his arms literally soaked in blood trying to keep the one who got punched from getting punched again and for a while there we thought we were going to lose our tech because when we ran exposure labs on the bleeder he was positive for hepatitis so we were all scared to death our tech had hepatitis

apparently we’re running a special on bloody messes because one pt out of nowhere stood up in the dining room picked up his chair and brought it down on another pt’s head so when we came in at three that guy was going to the er with a seven inch head wound

hell, a few days ago a pt attacked a tech for no reason and he was an older tech quiet sweet harmless so naturally the pt went after him and that was so bad that /other patients were helping us pry that pt off our staff/

finally met the infant i’ve been putting off meeting since january so that was. interesting.

oh another of my techs, she called in on a monday some weeks back and admin was bitching at her so much for it despite the fact that she was /in the hospital because she’d had a miscarriage/ and then thursday of that week her brother got fucking /shot/

fuck even i got jumped by a pt which feels like a minor detail

everyone’s morale is so low because everything is so fucked up at work right now like people who have worked there longer than me are like “it didn’t used to be like this having people in seclusion for seven hours never happened you only heard of a staff member getting attacked maybe once every few months you never had this many holds or this kind of staffing for a census of 85″ like sounds fake but okay i literally cannot imagine what this place used to be like

we caught someone mid-suicide attempt via hanging self from a doorknob like threw all their weight to the ground unconscious when we found them and as soon as air got back in those lungs they fought us like crazy and we had them in a hold for over an hour to keep them from trying to hurt themselves again it was honestly one of the most terrifying nights we’ve ever experienced bc it was also a case we’ve all been heavily invested in and worked a lot with so catching someone in the middle of hanging themselves /two days before the pt’s birthday/ was. a lot like we were all so shaken esp because most of us have at some point or another been suicidal or tried to kill ourselves so we’re really good at picking out the serious suicide attempts from the attention seeking nonsense some of our pts and we were all really quiet because we knew this one was 100% serious and it fucked us all up because we’re the only shift that’s really even taken the time to try to help this particular pt everyone else sort of gave up or just ignores them????? so it hit us way harder than anyone else and god it was chilling

i’ve had several emotional upsets in my personal life which i’m not even about to open that can of fucking worms because it’s A Lot

also like listing out all those violent and awful incidents is kind of reminding me that normal people with normal jobs are not usually exposed to this kind of constant violence and suicide like i forget that seeing the things i’ve seen would be considered really traumatic for a regular person and for us it’s just tuesday? but it’s happened /so much/ and shows no signs of getting better and tbh it feels like the entire hospital is in a crash and burn phase right now which is not good not good at all

our 76 year old house supervisor is really sick with some respiratory mess and i hope every fucking day she doesn’t die because we’re honestly really close and i don’t want to feel like i’ve lost another grandmother thanks

and as we speak, my second in command, who was having orthopedic surgery during the last update, is about to be out having more abdominal surgery. last summer she walked around with a mild upset stomach for two weeks and found out that she’d actually be walking around with a ruptured appendix for two weeks and had to have emergency surgery because she was septic and was in the icu for two weeks and almost died. she then had to have another surgery in like november because there was still bacteria they missed. so now, literally on the one year anniversary of the first abd surgery, she is in the hospital yet again with what is either peritonitis a hernia/strangulation or a perforation, or a combination of those things and will probably have to have /another goddamn surgery/. so jan 2016 acl and mcl ortho surgery, aug 2016 almost died abd surgery, nov 2016 second abd surgery, feb(? i think?) 2017, second round of ortho surgery on the same knee, and now aug 2017, round three of abd surgery because i’m pretty sure all my friends and loved ones are cursed because that’s the only explanation at this point. so like. @universe please don’t kill one of my best friends thanks.

meanwhile earlier this week, /i/ started having the exact same symptoms she had last year so i was at the doctor wednesday to rule out anything being ruptured and idk if it’s better or worse because it wasn’t anything life threatening, but after running several tests, it’s discovered that physically i’m in great shape and that the severe abdominal pain and lack of appetite and fatigue etc etc is literally just from stress so i’m off till next week with the modern equivalent of “she has a fragile constitution and needs a week’s rest in the country” yes that’s right 2017 has literally been so goddamn awful and stressful that my body low key shut me down in an effort to get fucking recovery time like ever since my life started going to shit in mid april it’s just stayed bad and nightmares are breaking through the medication which no thank you i enjoyed sleeping and so i haven’t been sleeping hardly at all lately either this year has literally wrecked me and this is all minus the several serious intense things happening in my personal life right now lol

like everyone i work with is falling apart under the pressure we love our jobs and we love each other but the job might being kind of low key killing us so when you add in the stress of our various personal lives and our health on top of you know being witness to horrible life threatening violence and trauma every day........

let’s just say 2017 has yet to turn around and i’m starting to wonder if it will at all?????? or if it’s just going to suck all the way till 2018 so anyway like i originally intended my sort of ghost status to be more temporary but literally the only reason i even have it in me to write this right now is because i’m basically on bed rest for the next four and a half days so.............i guess i’ll return to normal when 2017 STOPS DOING THIS SHIT

#karen's adventures in trying to sort her life out #boy oh boy am i sick of making these posts #scheduling this as no one is awake right now except me

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