I am so normal I swear *watches Cockles compilations*

Rumors going around.

Pairing:Jensen Ackles X Fem!Reader

Summary: With rumors going around about Jensen and you will they stay a rumor or will they become true?

Warnings: Cheating (i'm sorry!)

Just fiction. I love his wife and mean nothing against her with this one shot!

You were so excited to go to a con with Jensen and Jared and Misha you four were close since you become part of the SPN family.

You only came on one episode for the show but after that episode the fans have begged the crew to bring you back for more.

The chemistry with Jensen was very noticeable and the fans even shipped you and Jensen even though he was happily married to Danneel.

"hey Jay how's married life going?" You asked during a interview with the cast of supernatural.

"Oh it's great ya know? fun!" You sent him a smile as someone asked him a question.

Jared looked at you and then at Jensen. "can someone make these two stop? like you two get a fucking room" The cast laugh and You giggle saying.

"Yeah Jens let's go get lost!" Jensen sent you a look of 'not a good idea' knowing his wife was watching the panel.

"So y/n why don't you come back to SPN?" You blinked at the question and glance at Jensen and say.

"Um...well I was a kind of one shot person in the show but I am glad the fans loved me just in one but I mean it's up to the crew if they want me back"

Jared says. "Bring her back!!!!!!" Jensen says. "here here!" You laugh. "I said the crew like the boss you boys"

jensen laughs. "We are the boss baby"

You smile and then someone says. "what about the rumors of you and Jensen? what really happened?"

You hang your head and say. "Oh shit here we go yet again...Jay answer this one..I am so done with this"

Jensen nods. "Yes so we already said there is nothing going on between y/n and myself if there was I would come out and tell you but...nope"

He lied so well and you two knew the truth. you two have had a few kisses but never wanted to get past that due to his wife being on set most of the time.

After the panel and dinner you were back at the hotel with the cast and Jensen is next to you and he says in your ear. "Meet me in ten minutes please"

You nod as he smiled at you then says. "Sorry guys i'm tired see you in the morning" He waves and walks away glancing at you.

You stayed a bit longer and have fun with the crew until you see it's past ten minutes. "excuse me i'm going to hit the hay too good night'

You walk up to your room and then stop by Jensen's room you pressed your lips together you both knew it was wrong to even be alone together.

You walk to his door and knock softly. "it's me"

the door opens and Jensen says. "Come in" You walk in and say. "how long should we keep this up Jensen?"

He shuts the door and walks around. "I don't know but dee might ask many questions if it's true"

You nod and rub your arms. "then I shouldn't be here"You start to head for the door and Jensen says. "y/n please don't leave me...not tonight"

You look into his eyes and say. "if this happens once it'll happen again that's how one night stands work! We will catch feelings we shouldn't have and and....-"

Jensen cups your face in his hands. "y/n listen to yourself! You think something will happen?"

You can feel the tears burn your eyes as they start to creep out. "yes" You said in a small voice.

"just one night then i'm out I will go back to Dee and be with her, I promise you won't hear from me ever again"

You roll your eyes. "It's not that Jay it's just...this is wrong I shouldn't think of you this way your married and my great friend...I don't want to-"

You are cut off rambling when Jensen kisses your lips softly. You relaxed into his kiss and pull him closer to your body. "Jens" Is all you could get out before he picks you up and carries you to the bed.

The next morning you woke up and Jensen sleeping soundly. You sat up when you see it's past seven am. "Jens!" You shook him. "Wake up we have to catch our flight"

Jensen turns. "five more minutes baby" He smiles without looking at you.

You got dressed and see he fell back to sleep. "Jensen Ross Ackles for the love of God wake up!" You grab his jeans and toss them to him he groans as sits up. "hmm ok ok i'm up"

He gets dressed and says. "Did we um...you know"

You turned and looked at him. "Yes but it didn't mean anything..right?" He smiles. "well now we can say those rumors are true now but only you and I know"

You chuckle. "Our little secret" Jensen walks up to you and says. "last night was...um..good I liked it' You look at him with a small smile. "it was amazing...but it won't happen again..right?"

Jensen grabs his things. "never say that y/n"

You walk to the door and say. 'Okay" you look into the hall and say. 'All clear' Jensen says behind you in your ear. 'See you in a bit" You smiled. 'yup"

You walked back to your room and shut the door. God this was wrong to be doing but he was a sin you just couldn't resist.

tags:@k-slla @jackles010378 @cutedisneygrl @angelbabyyy99 @bookishtheaterlover7

carry on - chapter seven

another long chapter awaits! enjoy my lovelies!

okay, why did i just say yes to singing a bon jovi song in front of the whole of rome, italy for a convention. when the last time i sang in front of anyone it was maybe like, nearly a decade ago? and now, i was literally being cheered on because one of the fan questions from the actual convention was if i could sing a song at the orion club with louden swain and without thinking, i just said yes. i said yes because i have never once declined a fans question or refused to answer whatever it is they've asked. however, as of right now, i kinda wish my adrenaline rush wasn't so high otherwise, i maybe would have given that question to jensen, or even rob or rich. 

"...valencia, you ready sweetheart?" rob whispers as i huff out and nod my head, kinda thinking that if i wait any longer, it'll just become way worse

plus, it's better to just get it over and done with than wait any longer otherwise i'll never say i'm ready and i'll never end up doing it. besides, who knows, like jensen, i may end up enjoying it and end up doing this regularly. 

"as ready as i'll ever be, let's do it!" i giggled as the crowd cheered as did my fellow cast members, jensen, jared, misha, rob, rich, genevieve and my boyfriend alex being the loudest as i cheered again

louden swain started playing their instruments to the very familar, famous chords of wanted, dead or alive by jon bon jovi as i started to sing. only hoping that i sounded better than average. 

as i went through the first verse, i found myself getting more confident in myself and having fun with it as jensen then came on stage with a microphone. he had started to sing with me as i couldn't hide the smile on my face as we continued to rock it like it was the ninety's. 

"...cause i'm a cowboy, on a steel horse i ride. i'm wanted (wanted), dead or alive!"

in all honesty, maybe it was a good idea that i had agreed to answer that fan question as the entire time, i had noticed the girl, who had also come to this orion club that had asked the question at the panel, had been singing along and dancing the entire time jensen and i had been singing. it seemed as if although this is a song from the eighties and a favourite of mine growing up, it was also an important song for her as well which was the sweetest thing ever that she had asked me to sing it. 

looking over to alex, jensen and the rest of my castmates, i couldn't believe how much i loved this job that i've had since i was a kid. jensen and i were having the times of our lives on this stage whilst alex and the rest of the cast were so happy and having the time of their lives. jensen and i just kept on singing and bouncing around like we were in our twenties (well, i still was) and having the times of our lives at our favourite club whilst the audience and rest of our castmembers just laughed and sang along. 

"and i walk these streets, loaded six-string on my back. i play for keeps 'case i might not make it back. i've been everywhere, still i'm standing tall, i've seen a million faces and i've rocked them all," 

i sang as jensen then joined me for the chorus as we rocked n rolled together as everyone went crazy. 

"'cause i'm a cowboy, on a steel horse i ride, i'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive. 'cause i'm a cowboy, i got the night on my side and i'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive!" 

jensen and i sang as jensen then got the next part whilst i just stood back as i watched him also rock it on the stage with me as i couldn't hide the smile i had. the smile for the man who i could literally call one of my brothers. 

"and i ride (and i ride) dead or alive! i still drive (i still drive) dead or alive," 

jensen and i then sang the last four lives which were just dead or alive repeated those four times before we then waited for the big ending and we did the very big dramatic jump that was done almost every convention. or any song performance that required such energy as the legendary jon bon jovi exudes. 

liked by alexandercalvert, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles and 16.45k others

valenciawalker would it be a mortal sin if i scrapped supernatural and got a record deal instead?

in all seriousness, singing has been a passion of mine ever since i could remember. i'm sure if you ever and i mean ever, ask jared, jackles, misha, alcal and everyone else on the set of supernatural, they will tell you, i am always singing no matter what. a dream of mine would be to for sure make a career out of my passion which is singing...so, should i take a break from supernatural and work on some covers, originals and put them on my spotify? 

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alexandercalvert you could do both...

valenciawalker alexandercalvert i defo could tho 

jaredpadalecki i vote no only because i'd miss you too much and cry everyday in my trailer and refuse to come out until they promise that you never leave ever again...

valenciawalker jaredpadalecki ok, it's been decided, i'm gonna hold off on the record deal for a little longer <3 

jensenackles hmm can i vote both yes and no? 

liked by valenciawalker, jaredpadalecki, misha and 15,02k others

alexandercalvert go little rockstar <3 

view all 151k comments 

valenciawalker i really did feel like a little rockstar, not going to lie! 

jaredpadalecki such a rockstar! she did so well tonight!

jensenackles she is a rockstar! she made her big brother very proud tonight! 

valencia jensenackles awe, thank you brother jackles! i'm glad i made you proud 

misha one of the best little rockstars i've ever seen! 

"...ria, would you seriously take a break and do music on the side?" jensen questioned as i giggled 

i mean, considering we were in italy for our annual jib convention and just had the best reaction to me singing, i think that it was a sign. 

"i mean, considering what we heard tonight, i think it's something i would consider heavily as, like i mentioned in my post, i'm always singing on the set and, i think it is time i really give myself a chance," i shrugged my shoulders as jensen smiled brightly with a proud look on his face

"i agree. you deserve to have your amazing songs and voice be heard and loved by everyone in the world. i'd say you should for sure do it and go for it. just, like jared said, please don't leave supernatural permanently!" jensen whispered at the end as i giggled and shook my head

 "i will and, don't worry i'll never leave supernatural until we decide to finish the series all together," i smile as jensen cheers and moves around excitedly as i can't help my laughter

"yay, thank you!" jensen squeals as he pulls me in for a hug as i shake my head at his supposedly sober decisions 

"don't mention it, jackles," i sigh as he just laughs as we sit down on the couch as we watch alex and jared play fight on the other couch

- - - 

ok bye ily xx

wc; 1300

This is going to be a super long analysis of jib3 starting with the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony so brace yourselves. 

Please note I believe in the breakup theory so maybe my opinion in this one might be biased so please don’t come for me, lol.

I will put it under the cut to avoid overcrowding your dashes with cockles shenanigans. 

Also, watch out for profanities and mature language.

And so it begins...

Opening ceremony

The camera used to record the opening ceremony is shaky. 

Misha, Jason Manns, and Jarpad seem to be having a lot of fun together and Jensen is just looking at his besties talking to the man he loves and he knows he can’t have that so he just stands there looking at them. Poor guy.

Jarpad asks who took Misha’s riffle? Things are awkward, I honestly don’t know what’s going on.

Misha kisses a plushie while making eye contact with Jensen and Jensen is like “oh, oh, wow” while making eye contact with Misha. LOL. Jack help me. This is a lot!!!

Jensen takes a plushie from Sebastian and Jared takes the one Misha had.

Are you guys flirting about trying to see whether you can keep plushies alive?

Misha throws something at the fans, I think he was throwing treats from earlier or whatever it was and Jensen says “Misha is still throwing” I mean why?

Cockles Panel

Jensen is so extra in this panel.

First of all, when he and Misha come out (no pun intended) a song starts playing and he starts dancing. Jensen is usually so poised while dancing but he is over the top throwing his back and shaking his tush for the mish.  I think he was trying a little too hard. Misha spares his ex-boyfriend’s tush a glance smiles and looks away. LOL. The whole thing was cringey, tbh. It was so unlike Jensen.

When Sebastian touches Jensen’s shoulder and says something to Jensen, he [Jensen]  laughs way too hard. I would say he laughs abnormally-it’s loud and he throws his whole body into it like he’s trying to prove what Sebastian was funny and it probably wasn’t. He laughs so hard he ends up right on Misha’s side. and Misha laughs at that though.

Rich says something about something in the sac that hurts(It’s incoherent) and Jensen says it hurts right here pointing at his heart (I can’t hear what they are saying exactly so if anyone knows please let me know)

I don’t know if Mark P. was going to hug Jensen or not or he was pointing at something behind Jensen, but at that moment, Jensen sees Sebastian going to hug Misha and whips his head away from Mark P’s direction so fast he almost broke his neck.

Sebastian humps Misha (these two are so playful I love them) and Jensen is just there acting awkward 

There’s a comment by Rich about “It’s over, the convention’s over I’m no longer your bitch” I don’t know who this is about.

Now, now, now. This whole time Rich is doing a kissy mouth with his fingers on the monitor behind Jensen and Misha. His hand is right where Misha is standing (you’ll understand once you watch it) so Jensen makes a kissy face back and Misha is blushing? Ummm wtf is going on here?

Jensen also does something strange that he never does during cockles panels he pulls his seat away from Misha.

Misha makes a very weird comment about Sebastian’s libido drying up and they have a weird conversation about libido and Viagra ads. It’s weird.

It gets even more awkward Jensen talks about bringing a total stranger, and a blind date. And it goes downhill from there with them. The it wasn’t you it was me speech. It was special. So heartbreaking. It was clearly not about the show but about their relationship. I always have a difficult time getting through that part. It’s so awkward that the fans are just there wondering what the hell is going on.

They decide to take questions and the fan is all over the place so Misha interjects but Jensen won’t let Misha say what he wants to say so he says, “This is why you make it awkward. You never let people finish what they are saying.” Ouch. Domestic dispute vibes anyone?

The way Jensen is looking up at Misha when he’s answering that question. It’s like he wants to sear his face into his memory before they leave Rome.

Jensen is explaining to a fan how one of the four sound stages they had on set was full of furniture and Misha adds “and soiled mattresses”  I mean what was the reason? Did they soil the mattresses with their [redacted]

A fan mentions something about Dean and Cas so these two adorable dorks smile and share a look. Things are starting to look up. Thank Jack.

The fan says something again (I can’t make out what he’s saying) but it must be something nice because they look at each other with smiles on their faces again.

Jensen playing with the head of his microphone. Is it just me or did the temperature rise a notch higher?

The way they look at each other when the fan says to help him choose the hottest female cast member on the show 

Then something freaky happens they say the exact same thing as twins or bffs do sometimes. LOL.

When they start talking about the hot women with the fans Misha moves his entire body and now instead of looking at the fans, he is seated facing Jensen.  The tension is simmering down.

A point to note is that in all their panels they always sit angled facing each other as opposed to facing the crowd save for this panel and DCCON 2019. But for DCCON I can understand that they weren’t comfortable being meant to be a J/2 panel and a creation event. So you know some people in that crowd are super mean to Mish and others to Jensen, so they had to tread carefully. But I digress back to the chaos.

They ask who wants to have a cockles panel the next year and they both raise their hands. I thought that was sweet

 It’s adorable how Jensen keeps repeating everything Misha is saying.

Misha forgets himself and moves too close to Jensen to listen to the song on the phone. Jensen turns to look at Misha, I don’t know what that look is but Misha backs away laughing.

Jensen’s face journey while listening to that song is gold.

Misha moves closer to listen to the song.  I have to say the way they are standing is not usually how two bros listening to music usually stand. If you know what I mean

 Misha agrees that’s definitely Jensen singing. Of course, he knows because Mr. “Jensen sings to me all the time”

He looks so proud of him.  I’d venture to say he’s happy to hear Jensen sing because he has always been so shy about that fact about himself. He even gives him a standing ovation. That’s so adorable. He loves him. My heart.

Jensen is so cute trying to deny it’s not him singing that song.  Yeah, it’s you, Jensen. Even your ex agrees it’s you and we bet he knows how your voice sounds in all kinds of situations ;)

we get a tingly feeling so we know it’s you. Jensen’s adorable smile when Misha says that. Aww.

The way they are not even looking at each other but they are seated the exact same way.

Allow me to explain to my friend here. Explains how his parents didn’t know whether he was a boy or a girl. Misha with the steel chair, “when did they figure out that you were a boy?”

How many years did they call you holly?

For six to seven years

Is it just me or is this conversation a flashback of teenage twink-lesbian Jensen years?

Fan asks whether Dean will ever forgive Cas. Watch Misha’s body language, he is trying to pacify himself by rubbing the back of his neck and fumbling with his shirt.

When Jensen says “ No!” without a moment’s hesitation, Misha looks distraught? I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into this but I feel like this hit too close to home being that they were most likely broken up.

Misha however has a different opinion, “I think he has” 

Jensen says, “Wishful thinking” and that elicits a smile from Misha.

A fan asks about Dean giving Cas the trenchcoat back and things get interesting.  Weirdly, that Jensen can’t say the word gay out loud. He literally uses the word “unmanly” in its stead in the guise of censorship? It’s not a bad word Jensen you can say it. However, Misha and the fans say the word so I’m wondering who is censoring Jensen’s use of that word. He eventually says it but super fast.

Jensen says that saying “I always knew you would come back” is not something he would say to another human being, especially a man. Jesus, there’s nothing wrong with saying that to another human being you care about. He’s the one making it gay. He was extra when answering that one.

They spent one and half hours making that scene just to end up not saying anything and it ended up looking gay anyway. Anyway, that’s interesting.

 Jensen angles his body towards Mish and says in a very low soft and sexy voice “I guess I really hoped that you would come back some day” I would venture to say that Jensen at the moment in the panel was actually saying them to Misha. Who knows though?

They talk about it a whole lot for something that bothered him that much. 

Misha being so excited about recreating a scene when a fan told Jarpad he’s amazing and Jarpad said "you are welcome. 

 “I think I understand what she wants. I’m not sure what she’s gonna get.” This is a very good line Misha. I will be using it often.

The way they awkwardly stand too close and whisper to each other. Umm…what is going on here?

Jensen folds over laughing because of something Misha says. They are back. The tension is almost 90% gone now and they are in their element.

The chaos of recording the alarm ringtone for the fan was just great to watch. They kept getting closer and closer and I think they might have shared spit at that point. Gross….LOL

The way Misha is sitting is he you know.

Jensen asking Misha whether he was saying anything or just screaming while they were recording. I think he just wanted to see Misha smile.

Jensen’s joy when a fan mentions that they have Misha’s résumé.

Jensen saying the word shit made my day. I curse a  lot and it made me feel validated somehow.

Misha calls him dickhead in return and Jensen stops functioning and laughs instead . He also gets all hot and bothered trying to fumble with the lapel of his shirt.  He does this a lot when he is turned on. He has a humiliation kink I think.

They start talking over each other about Misha’s special skills. Looks like Jensen might have known beforehand because he went straight for that. Or maybe he didn’t know but he knew since Misha is a mad genius there must be some amazing things in there. Either way, it was a good moment.

OMG Jensen is so excited and the way he motions to Misha to bring that résumé to him, LOL. This man was thirsty AF.

He even goes down from the stage to meet Misha and invades his personal space trying to reach the résumé. I think this is the moment the tension between them dissipated completely and they were back to some form of normalcy.

Misha holding Jensen’s shoulder trying to get his résumé back. Unsucessfully, I should add.

They read something funny and they fold over laughing and spin around like overjoyed seals. It is far removed from the mollusk family but at least it’s still a sea creature (I don’t know what I’m saying please don’t mind me)

Jensen is still on his knees laughing and can’t get up. As I said, he is being too extra in this panel.

 Misha is trying to talk but they both can’t stop laughing. I think Jensen laughed so hard he got an extra set of abs that day.

Jensen is still laughing and you know what he is laughing at? Misha’s special skills being acting on camera. I mean it’s funny but man, prayforjensen.

 They are still laughing. Jack, help them.

The way Jensen looks at Misha with pure adoration here makes me so happy and reminds me of the fictional characters they played being all heart eyes for each other.

 Misha laughed so hard he cried.

Jensen trying to read the next ‘special skill’ Misha has but he can’t even talk because of how funny he thinks it is. He’s trying so hard not to laugh but he can’t help himself.

Jensen agreeing and also asking the audience to agree that Misha has a knack for certain accents. Accent kink anyone?

 Jensen is so excited when Misha starts Tibetan throating singing and does the unicorn laugh facing away from the crowd. Bet he has experienced Misha’s Tibetan throat singing skills on a personal when they are (loud overhead helicopter noises followed by thunder rumbling)

Jensen falling to the ground after feigning a heart attack once he saw that Misha is a certified EMT. I mentioned before that I honestly, 100% think he wanted mouth to mouth. There’s no other explanation. He could’ve feigned a nose bleed or just about any other illness but he chose to fall on a dirty floor and lay down so Misha could either give him the breath of life or straddle him. Luckily for him his dream came true 7 years later at Jib9 when straddle gate happened. But I digress

Too bad Misha was still mad at him and heartbroken so he kicked him instead.

Jensen knowing that Misha kayaks seems to be part of his personal knowledge. Maybe they did it together sometimes.

Horseback riding. Hmm is it just me or do they seem awkward here?

 Misha is so close to Jensen’s armpits. Must be missing his man’s musk and being held in those muscular arms again. Poor baby.

Misha can’t talk because of how funny he finds bicycle touring. I mean…I don’t see what’s funny but I guess he knows why it’s funny.

Misha laughing and raises his legs because Jensen is elaborating on the bicycle touring. Maybe it’s an inside joke or maybe it’s no longer funny to me because I’ve watched this panel like 5 times.

 I think Jensen’s goal was to see Misha laugh and be happy because he turned to look at Misha who was still laughing hard and the joy on Jensen’s face. Aww.

Misha gravitating towards his man again. He must smell really nice Misha. And those arms. Bet he used to lift you against the wall and (this fucking thunder won’t stop rambling. Are chuck and Amara fighting again?)

Jensen marketing his man’s carpentry skills but then makes sure to make it ‘no homo’ by saying he would never sit on anything Misha has built. Sure Jan. Then he circles back and says that he knows that he can build things.

Misha walks away from him and he looks up to make sure where he is going. Maybe he was afraid Misha was walking out on him. (PTSD from their breakup?)

They mention acting on camera again.

And laugh 

Jensen keeps talking about the acting on camera and watches to see if Misha is still laughing  He still is and Jensen is happy that his baby is happy. He looks at him again and he is still happy that Misha is still happy. Then once the laughter dies down he starts talking about bicycle touring  and checks again to see if Misha is laughing which he is so Jensen throws his head back  unicorn laughing and then looks at Misha again to see that he’s still laughing. Then they look at each other and say something maybe it’s about that was a good laugh. Jensen is wiping tears from his eyes because of how hard he laughed  Misha does the same. That entire thing was insane and they seemed to love it.

 Jensen starts saying that being this happy or goofing around is how they are on set sometimes and have to take a 5-10 minute break and Misha doesn’t seem too happy at the mention of the set. 

Jensen knowing that you can buy résumés on eBay. Did he buy Misha’s and then plant someone in the audience to bring it up or? Okay, yeah I know I’m reaching here but it’s probable.

 I guess my theory wasn’t farfetched because Jensen says that he’s pretty sure that Jarpad put it on eBay the previous night so maybe he is the one who did all that to win Misha back?

Jensen knows the appellation clogging is a stretch. Seems like Misha has told him about it before.

Jensen looking at his watch to see if they have time for  Misha to be telling a story about his high school sweetheart and now wife. I bet he wishes Misha could tell their love story so openly. He can’t stop looking at Misha.

The way Jensen is looking at Misha here. WTF man? He’s literally confused about what the question is.

The personal space question. This whole thing was just so many things. It was awkward, cringey, thirsty, funny.

when the fan asks whether there’s a funny fact between Jensen and Misha. I almost fainted. What? And Jensen repeats it. The two men are so stoic. They are not even looking at each other. They are looking at the fan like the way a statue stares at you, unmoving. Cringe.

The room is so quiet. Poor girl, I hope she didn’t feel awkward afterwards because if it were me, I would’ve cried from how stoic they looked and how quiet everyone was.

How they both scratch themselves, Misha on the head and Jensen on the nose. Maybe the question hit too close to home

Jensen turns to look at Misha as if to say ’help me out here man. We don’t wanna disappoint our fans.”

Misha gets it because he gets up. This whole thing is gold.

The way Jensen breathes out in anticipation. I know it was like they were playing a skit about personal space but why was he breathing like that? Shouldn’t he have been playing it as ‘uncomfortable’ not ‘turned on.’ Boudoir mannerisms.

Moving on Misha is unsure on where to touch Jensen 40.31. This is weird in and of itself because usually, they don’t have a problem touching each other’s faces, tush, eggplants, (jib4 anyone), backs et cetera. But now it’s weird? *cough* breakup *cough*

Misha touches Jensen’s ear and Jensen literally moans. He frigging moans people. In case it is not clear in the video, here is an isolated audio version of it. Jensen is also fumbling with his shirt like he’s all hot and bothered. Just like Misha did earlier. Was Jib3 their couple’s therapy that reminded them how happy and horny they made each other?

Jensen is really not answering the question, to be honest. He’s fumbling for words and trying so very hard to make sense but his word are  incoherent.

Misha going in for the nose dip. I know friends do this all the time but you have to be very close and familiar with someone such as a friend friend or a sibling for you to poke a finger in their nose. I mean noses are slimy and eww…anyway. That happened. They seem so comfortable with it. Jensen I love you but please stop talking.

The way Jensen looks at Misha. He has the cutest smile on his face as if saying thank you for making that fun and making me horny, I still want you.

Misha wiping his pinky that touched Jensen’s nose on his pants. (I wanted to add something disgusting about what heshould’ve done with that pinky but I won’t so let’s move on)

Jensen wiggling his nose.

When Misha suggests that Spn moves to Nickolodeon. Jensen laughs a bit too hard.

Misha talking about spn being a puppet show reminds me of how he mentioned them having a puppet show in Jensen’s backyard after the show is over.

Jensen also saying that in a way spn is a puppet show. I mean is someone making snide comments about how their strings get pulled and sometimes they are not happy about it. Like how they fired his boyfriend. It seems like it’s an inside joke.

They named the plushie Zippy aww :))

For jack’s sake guys, the way they look at each other when they mention that the  résumé was the highlight of the panel.

Jensen saying the more dirt you dig up on Misha, the more rewarded you are. Aww, someone’s trying to win his man back by any means necessary. You go girl…I mean Jensen.

He talks more about how he’s looking forward to next year when fans have more dirt on his friend Misha. Jensen didn’t want to leave the stage, he was lingering so he could spend more time with Misha.

It’s over guys.

Closing Ceremony

I know you didn’t ask for the closing ceremony but here you go. It’s a free gift.

Can I just mention how Jarpad is an overactive puppy? He has to play with anything and everything he finds.

The mc announces Misha twice for some reason. The second time Jensen looks in Misha’s direction with a small smile on his face. He [Jensen] is also chewing vigorously.

Jensen and Jarpad being typical dude bros and karate chop Rich. This is why the difference between his relationship with Jarpad and Misha stands out. He would be too busy making heart eyes to Misha to kick another guy. LoL.

Jensen hulking out when Jarpad is taking a video of everyone. Lol. This video keeps reiterating my point that his relationship with the two men is just different.

Jensen keeps looking in Misha’s direction, Misha who is busy talking to Steve and having fun. Let me also mention Steve is Jensen’s bestie and so are Jarpad and Misha, but I’m sure that Jensen felt some type of way, jealous when they were having so much fun with his man and he couldn’t. Jarpad also takes a while filming Misha for Jensen of course. They remind me of me having a crush back when I was in school. Wait, did Misha look at Jensen? It’s hard to see because the angle of the video is not expansive but I guess he was.

As soon as Jarpad gets back, Jensen takes the camera from him and starts filming fans. I’m sure he just wanted Misha to look at him

Rich mention’s Misha and something about acting on camera and Jensen licks his lips looking at Misha (I think).

Jensen then vigorously grabs the microphone from someone immediately and mention’s Misha. Jarpad’s reaction at that moment tells you everything you need to know about what’s going on between Jensen and Misha. It looks like he is pleading with Jensen in his head saying, “Don’t embarrass yourself bro. Please don’t” but it’s too late.

Jensen again talks about Misha’s résumé and specifically about acting on camera, the thing that made Misha laugh out loud during their panel. Someone’s smitten. Defending his ex-man.

Jarpad goes to whisper something to Misha. And they laugh while Jensen is thanking the jib staff for doing an amazing job. But when he sees the duo laughing, he loses track of thought and says “and they are all getting married”  dude what ??? How do you go from thanking people who worked on the convention and in .1 seconds you are talking about they are all getting married? Who is? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? No one gets it, he says he’s kidding and gives Jarpad the microphone, spares a glance at Misha and he seems distraught from that moment on. I wish I could see Misha’s face through all this.

He’s glancing in Misha’s direction again. Man’s got it bad. What?! Oh to be loved by Jensen Ackles. Misha must be a prize, I know he is a mad genius and gorgeous and sexy as hell with that golden skin that looks like it was dipped in gold and honey, big blue eyes that are bluer than the bluest blue, but Jensen wtf man? You are in public.

 I think Jarpad is telling Jensen something maybe it has to do with what he and Misha were talking about earlier?

And it’s over people.

Overall, I agree with the breakup theory. I mean the way these two were acting around each other was very strange. If you watch Misha and Jarpad, they seem okay from the opening ceremony up till the end but Jensen and Misha are just being weird.

The panel was mostly fun but their body language told a story that something was definitely going on between them. 

@littlewolf2703

Star Crossed: Shining Star

Summary: Between filming and conventions, Jensen Ackles hardly has a moment to himself. During a panel one weekend he learns that his favorite band’s lead singer is a fan of his. Encouraged by his best friend, Jensen steps out of his comfort zone and reaches out to her on social media. That one decision throws his entire world into a whirlwind adventure. Pairing: No Pairing Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1595 A/N: None

Check out: Star Crossed Masterlist

Jensen Ackles walked into his apartment kicking off his shoes by the door. Thankful to be done filming for the week and looking forward to not having to travel too far for the convention this weekend. He loved meeting fans and performing on Saturday nights. There were some weeks where he wished he could relax in his apartment and not have to worry about traveling.

Deciding a night of Netflix and pizza was in order, Jensen took a quick shower then put on some sweats with a t-shirt. He had settled in with his pizza with The Witcher series pulled up to watch when his phone started buzzing.

“No Jared, I don’t want to come out.”

Laughter came ringing through the speaker, “Jackles, it’s only a few crew and myself chilling at our normal spot. Come out for a little while.”

“What part of no don’t you understand? The N or the O?” Jensen rubbed his forehead hearing everyone behind Jared chanting his name, “Buddy, I’m showered and in for the evening. I’ll make it up to y’all tomorrow night.”

“Fine old man, see you tomorrow.”

He groaned, ending the call and no longer interested in the show on Netflix. Turning off the tv, he walked over to his record player turning on the band he had been listening to on repeat. He discovered Wayward Stars a few years ago when a fan gifted him their cd. They were a hard rock, alternative metal band with lyrics that spoke to the soul. Also, the lead singer was drop dead gorgeous.

There had been late night shoots he would turn on one of their albums listening to (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s voice letting it seep into the far reaches of his mind. As he sat in his apartment alone, he allowed his mind to wander of singing with her on stage one day. Making a mental note to talk with Creation and Rob Benedict about getting her to come to Vegas for SNS. For now, he let the music flow over him well into the night.

The next day, Jensen slept in until he heard Clif knocking on his door. Twenty minutes later, he was walking down to the lobby where Jared was sitting with his eyes closed.

“Hey Jared!” He yelled.

Jared jumped falling off the chair he was on. Jensen and Clif started laughing as he mumbled curses under his breath getting off the floor.

“Not funny and I will get you back.” Jared’s eyes narrowed on him.

“I’m sure you will, big guy. Now, can we get on with our day?”

They had a few interviews at the studio and some meetings before they had to get ready for the concert that night. Since the convention was in Vancouver and there was no traveling, Jensen had agreed to sing that night. He was excited to perform new songs and to be in front of the fans. As they pulled into the studio parking lot, he sighed knowing it was going to be a long day ahead of him.

It was near six o’clock when Jensen arrived back at his apartment to get ready for the night. Once again, he turned on his favorite Wayward Stars song, A Light in the Dark. It was a slower song with beautiful lyrics and then a killer riff in the end. He was in his room, singing when he heard his door open. Only two people had a key to his place and he only needed one guest to know who was walking in.

“Really? Wayward Stars again?” Jared flopped down on his couch.

“I can’t help it that you have horrible taste in music.” He chuckled.

“I like the band… just not 24/7 like you.”

He rolled his eyes, shutting off his record player, “Don’t judge me. Now come on and let’s go hang out with the fam.”

Saturday Night Special was exactly that, special. Especially when they were in Vancouver. The cast and crew seemed to cut loose a little more backstage. He was catching up with Matt Cohen when they called him to get ready to go on stage. Jared and Misha were standing by the stage to watch as Rob called him up on stage.

There was nothing more exhilarating than being hit with a roar of an audience. An electric current steady ran down his body over the next fifteen minutes as he performed. When he walked off stage, as promised, he celebrated with Jared, Misha and others until the early hours of morning.

Their early morning panel was rough as the coffee worked through knocking out the whiskey from his system. The last question of their morning panel came from a young lady wearing a Wayward Stars shirt.

“Love your shirt.” Jensen smiled.

“We get it Ackles, you’re their biggest fan.” Jared jokes.

The fan laughed, “Actually my question is about them. SPN family loves this band since they are fans of the show. Wondering if you ever had a chance to meet them or if they could be invited to a SNS show?”

“Go on fanboy…”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “I would love to meet them one day and have them come perform during Saturday Night Special. I’m forever thankful to the fan who gave me their cd a couple of years ago. Many, many a night their music has kept me sane during shooting. So yeah, definitely would love to meet them.”

“I would love for Jensen to meet them so I can film it and post it on social media for everyone to see him fanboy all over (Y/N).”

The crowd ohhh as Jensen glared at Jared, “Alright, alright… I think we have to get going now. We will see y’all later.”

Waving as they walked off the stage. As soon as they were on the stairs, Jensen punched his friend in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“You deserve that.” Jensen could hear Jared laughing all the way to the green room.

The rest of the convention went without a hitch. Monday morning brought a whole new week of filming. Jensen was in his trailer when his phone buzzed seeing a text from Jared.

He pulled up his app, seeing a few friends tagging him in a post from a girl named Addy. Clicking on the YouTube link surprised to see (Y/N) watching him sing from SNS.

“I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous and talented and the perfect man.” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically pretending to faint.

Text flashed on the screen, “#1 Jensen Ackles Fangirl”

He sat there stunned for a moment watching the video again. He could not wrap his mind around that she was a big fan of his. He knew the band liked the show, but to think he was perfect? His heart thumped against his chest as his shaking hands typed a message back to Jared.

Jensen took a few deep breaths before typing a Tweet then deleting it. He typed another one and deleted it. The third time he hit post and immediately regretted it, sounding like an idiot. Within minutes he received a notification from (Y/N) on Twitter.

Before he could reply, Jared was calling him, “Are you freaking out?”

“N-No… maybe, yes.” He stammered.

Jared’s laughter filled his ear, “Oh my god I wish I could see your face right now. This is your chance to make all your dreams come true.”

“I’m hanging up now, Jerk.”

“See you in an hour, Bitch.” Jared was still laughing as Jensen ended the call.

He watched the video a few more times and sent another Tweet out to (Y/N) after following her page. He went on all his social media making sure he was following her before realization hit that it seemed stalkerish.

“Jay, calm your roll.” He muttered to himself.

Putting his phone down, he tried to go over his lines for the next scene they were shooting. When he could not concentrate then he buckled, putting in his earbuds and turning on Wayward Stars. His hands were still trembling as he tried to control his fan moment.

Over the next several weeks, Jensen and (Y/N) were chatting all over social media. He posted a picture on Instagram tagging her in holding up her vinyl record.

Finally, he gathered the courage to ask for her number in a DM to chat with her more in private. Since their fans were going nuts over their new friendship. Now they would text each other everyday like they had known each other forever. She would tell him about her shows and cities she was in. He would chat about filming without spoiling anything for her. The only thing he wished could happen was their schedules to sync up so they could meet.

That thought ran through his mind everyday especially when he was at conventions like the upcoming weekend in his hometown. Thursday night, he was on a plane heading to Dallas when a notification popped up on his phone from (Y/N) posting on Twitter.

“Not next to me.” He mumbled snapping a picture of himself before replying to her Tweet.

He knew where she was off too after they had talked earlier in the day. They were still a thousand miles apart but closer than they had ever been since their friendship had begun. Settling back into his seat, he enjoyed listening to Wayward Stars newest song released that week.

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Recap on the J2 panel but it’s only Jensen

Jensen does a little sing song

They talk about how they basically swapped haircuts. Jensen says he looks like someone who belongs in prison (about his longer hair)

Jensen thinks man buns are wrong

Jensen says his body is not made for running because of his bow legs (he should ride a horse)

This is the longest they haven’t seen each other in 15 years

Jared wishes Jensen happy birthday. He didn’t send a birthday tweet because he got so emotional over for not being able to hug Jensen on his birthday.

Jensen describes himself as a very patient person. But his parenting fuse a lot shorter and he gets more easily frustrated. He’s learned to ask for help and learned to ’extent that fuse’

Jensen says that ’as a man inherently you don’t want to ask for help but fix and do things yourself’

Jensen’s learned how super-human Danneel is and how human (’sub-human’ ) he is

Jensen’s had weird dreams and jokes about them being ’mushroom induced’

Jensen’s reoccurring dreams revolve around apocalyptic scenarios where he had to save someone (dean kinnie)

Jensen says that in an actual paranormal situation he would know some tricks but would be as useless ’as someone asked to be a doctor who only plays a doctor ’

Jensen says that the Impala only brought luck. He says it’s safe and secure in Austin.

Jensen was supposed to direct in Walker season one but didn’t because he went to work on the Boys. It was supposed to be ep 5 but he could not because of costume fittings for the Boys

Jensen jokes about that he told Jared he would not do it because ’it was shit’ after reading the script

They had a question addressed for Misha???? Jensen does a fake Cas voice and talks about Misha having a cutting board in his house.

Jensen talks about Chaos Machine. They have some material coming up that they will bring to be developed to the network next week.

Jensen’s been spending most of his time working on Chaos Machine

JENSEN PUT ON A BEANIE.

Jensen thinks Dean drives around in heaven and visits Roadhouse and his mom and dad.

JENSEN THINKS DEAN WILL GET TIRED AND GET SAM AND ASK JACK TO BRING THEM BACK. AND THAT’S THE REBOOT. God.

Jensen hopes that his kids find their purpose and that he gives them a good moral compass (and Baby)

Jensen makes a joke about loving some one with genital warts and all. Jared makes a joke about Jensen having genital warts lol.

They talk about how in a fight scene it’s important to fight slower. Jared and Jensen joke when they are told to slow it down they slow it down to comical levels.

Jensen’s going to miss that when something started to heavy and serious and he and Jared could pop that bubble and help people relax and make the laugh. He thinks it made the end product better. And it’s one of his favourite things from Supernatural.

Jared thinks that even in heaven ’driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole’. Jensen adds that the music is always what Dean wants to hear anyway.

Jensen would have liked to have a crossover in Supernatural. Vampire diaries or Walking Dead and they would have just killed them all.

Jensen jokes about how them being naked would have spiked the ratings.

Jensen went sleghing with JJ and JJ and her friend were sliding down the hill straight towards a fire hydrant and Jensen threw himself between them and the fire hydrant and he flipped over but he managed to help out the brunt of the impact. He snapped in dad mode ’throw your body in front of a speeding train and save your children’

Jensen sends Jared beard updates

JENSEN SHOWED A WAP VIDEO OF HIMSELF.

Jared shows two silly videos. The other is a video of faceapped old Jensen singing Twist and Shout.

They watch early season blooper reels together.

What makes Jensen laugh is the joke ’did you hear about the cheese factor explosion in France. The debris was everywhere’

Jensen says the 180 in Baby was one of his faves

Jensen talks about how the set designer Jerry Wanek would give them coffee table books of pictures of the sets and now they got a book about all the set through the years

Jensen thinks it was the proper way to go because Sam was the more likely one of the brothers to find love and keep on going. Sam had more of a macro vision of life and dean more of a micro. Dean would have wasted away in a corner of a pool hall. Dean would not have been able to navigate life without his brother.

Jensen says that Sam was able to find a life outside of dying for his brother and Dean wouldnt have been able to do it in a positive way

Jensen can’t listen to Back in Black without sbapping back into character. Dont fear the reaper reminds him of dean and the themes of the show.

When Jensen sees gifs in the internet and thinks that was fun to do!

He can’t listen to Night Moves without thinking about filming Baby

Jensen misses conventions

Misha virtual panel Sunday 22 Nov, 2020

Tried to type as much as I could as he spoke. I know the whole thing will probably be up fairly soon so you can watch, but for now--

--He finished shooting in March

--Thought he had mourned the passing of the show & had processed it but finale was an emotional experience, took him out for a couple days

--Thinks the fandom isn’t going anywhere

--Favorite memory making recipe with kids and Vicky, talks about how cookbook came about, West made pasta with jam sauce for Thanksgiving

--Projects for future? Worked on political elections recently, planning to do more of that particularly Georgia in January. Publishing book of poetry. Couple of film projects but not as actor, one he’s interested in directing.

--How do you think Jack brought Cas back? There was a different ending that Covid made impossible, but not supposed to talk about it. Involved bringing back lots and lots of cast members from the past. In original ending, Cas hadn’t gone to rebuild Heaven there was a DIFFERENT CONCLUSION FOR HIM. He did not read the last 2 episodes after the changes. He thinks Cas and Jack are more “ethereal” when rebuilding Heaven. Pure speculation though, he doesn’t know. Will probably be better explored in fan fiction than what he could come up with.

--Fan from Brazil thanks him and asks a question I don’t fully understand. Misha talks about watching the finale with his kids. West and Maison asked him to tell them if a scary part comes up, but he had no idea. Evil clowns “shell shocked” and probably traumatized the kids. West wanted to watch something else to get it out of his head. Went to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm lol. Misha jokes he is doing a shitty job keeping his kids away from the horrors of the world.

--Castiel “melded” with Misha. Cas was just a soldier at first but over time we saw him unfurl so that he didn’t fit in anywhere “fish out of water” but tried to be a good person.

--What is the one thing he will take with him from playing Castiel? A lot. On a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. Talked about it with J2, how the characters became part of them over the years. Watching Dean’s death scene, he cried but because it was Cas’s friend Dean. It was a weird thing on an emotional level because the lines were blurry between himself and Cas. He feels he will literally take the character with him. Cas is part of him. Maybe he should double down on therapy to try and untangle him lol. Has a “naive” idea the fandom won’t go away, at least right away. Feels grateful to be a part of that, the fandom community does a lot of great things. 

--Favorite thing to bake with the kids? Pies. Though he doesn’t love pie, but he does bake a lot of them and the kids like them. Favorite kind of pie? Probably strawberry rhubarb. Doesn’t bake enough cakes! Recently made fortune cookies and put little messages inside, he put lewd messages in.

--He wants to know if he’s naive thinking the fandom will be around awhile. Fan says NO he is not.

--Misha also teared up in 15x18.

--Anything more he can say about stuff that didn’t happen in finale that was supposed to? He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal, but what are they going to do, fire him? It was a version of Sam and Dean’s Heaven that was populated with all these people from their past, all of the characters that we love from over the years were there. But COVID. 

--Favorite bts memory with the boys? He doesn’t have one, they were close friends for 12 years, lots of antics. Laughing fits, fights, got pissed off at each other, fondest memories of any work he’s done were on SPN, so much laughing and mirth, he’s going to miss that.

--Why did Cas’s trenchcoat remain intact despite all his deaths? Cas never lost the ability to magically mend his clothing. It made no sense that if he got stabbed or shot, sometimes it ripped the shirt but sometimes it wouldn’t. Or it would be cleaned up by the next episode. They wanted him to look like Constantine at the beginning, costume was 3 sizes too big, finally (he doesn’t remember what season) asked for a better fitting costume. New suit first, then lost the tie but eventually put it back. One season they just got him a whole new wardrobe and never explained it. He stole some trenchcoats.

--Cas’s confession was one scene where there wasn’t much joking around, he needed to be in an emotional state. Sat on a folding chair and ruminated on his own. Stunt coordinator noticed that and just stood by, knew Misha needed his space, it was really sweet. Made sure no one bothered him. Didn’t ask him to do that, it was intuitive & Misha was appreciative. Crew was great about that during heavy scenes.

--How did he feel reading script where Cas dies? Knew it was coming, had had conversations with Bobo, was happy with it. Felt a little risky and brave, was happy to be a part of that. Happy his character could express love like that. Has seen people complain about bury your gays trope and doesn’t think that’s what was happening. Cas is in Heaven, rebuilding Heaven, and also so much good came from that declaration. Cas saved Dean which was essential to saving the world. That declaration saved the world and was of Cas’s own volition, he wasn’t forced to do that, it was his choice & that’s important. Maybe he’s naive but he didn’t think they were playing into that trope. He’s glad Castiel got to express that. He’s proud that the show did that. He’s sure it’s a conversation that will continue to be dissected.

--Will he ever get an SPN tattoo? Hasn’t thought about it, has thought about getting one related to his kids. Is that a “has-been” tattoo? Should he get Jensen and Jared’s faces? LOL. Tattoo of Cas’s face on his abdomen? Nah probably no SPN tattoo.

--3 things he does to be kind to himself? Has a tendency to be hard on himself. Sleep, run, meditate. He feels guilty he doesn’t spend enough time with his kids so he does but doing that he sometimes doesn’t take care of himself as much which makes him grumpier and not a great dad. Balancing act.

--Fave moment of finale was Dean’s death scene. Masterfully executed, well done, excellent performances from J2. Made him cry. 

--Best memory of last day on set. Everyone was being really sweet, lots of tears from crew and cast. Last scene was last thing on Friday, Him Alex, Jensen, Speight had to fly to convention next morning. Finished around 130 am, got on chartered flight, 15 minutes in flash of light and BOOM, one of the engines exploded, circled back to Vancouver and plane was shaking, really scary, during emergency landing they were texting their loved ones because they weren’t sure if they’d see them again

--Did angels get their wings back? Yeah probably. Why wouldn’t they? He misses Castiel’s car though. The Pimpmobile. Had hydraulics. Remembers car jumping up and down because JARED broke it.

--Cas would be a great security guard because he never sleeps. Would not be a great teacher or architect or artist...could be handy in a kitchen though.

--What color are Cas’s wings? Misha always thought they were black, but maybe they’re rainbow colored!

--Worst joke from J2? Jokes J2 are not good people, they got really excited leading up to him directing because they were plotting, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture but Misha was tipped off by crew. Fish left under his car seat, again he was tipped off. One thing he remembers is Jared messing with his directors chair so that he would fall when he sat on it. Fell for it probably 5 times. Also Jared messing up his lines until Misha went to talk to him, which is when he got pied in the face. Everything looked blurry for like 20 minutes, Jensen brought him another shirt & apologized, then during lunchtime Jensen pied him too. 

--How did Cas feel when Jack became new god? Vindicated. Like, “we did it”. Also feels concerned that Jack is no longer Jack. But at his core Jack was still himself.

--Real story behind handprint? He doesn’t know, but it was a nice touch. Doesn’t remember how they came up with that. Great call back to very beginning. Poignant. 

--Favorite Dad joke? The one with the snail getting thrown across the yard and 2 years later asking what was that about.

--Didn’t hear this one well but what I picked up was Favorite con moments? He and Jensen have had really fun panels in Rome

--Favorite version of Castiel to play? Loved playing LuciferCas and HumanCas. Wishes there had been more HumanCas. But regular Cas was his overall favorite, wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Cas for any other Cas.

--Miss you guys, love you, hopefully see you soon.

Tumblr-Girl (Part 16)

Tumblr – Girl (Part 16) Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: unique con-experience Word Count: ~2700 Warnings!: mentions of emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, violence, slight mentions of panic attacks

Notes: Please leave some feedback!

Part 1 Masterlist  

Your PoV:

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t believe what happened. Yeah, sure, you read something about the SPN cast and their bond to the SPNFamily, but… no… this couldn’t be possible. You stared, first at Jensen Ackles, who entered the room first, then at Misha Collins and then at Beck. “Uhm..” you mumbled. “Hi…” you didn’t know what to say and for a few moments the room was filled with silence. “We just wanted to check on you, since we probably caused this incidence yesterday with our surprise.” Jensen said and smiled. You felt your heart rate speed up and your face tuning bright red. *Calm down* you said to yourself. Beck shot you a smile and a glance that said “It’s okay. Take your time.” You took two more breaths before thinking about what Jensen said. “Thank you.” You responded and you still couldn’t stop staring until Beck pulled two chairs to them and offered them a seat. They nodded and sat down while Beck was sitting at your bed. “So, how are you, Y/N?” Misha asked again. Slowly you got back to yourself “Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a panic attack. I’m not that good with big groups of people.” You smiled “Thanks for getting me out there; Beck told me the whole story.”

“No, problem, really. It was the least we could do for you. When can you get out of here?” Misha asked. “Hmm.. I don’t know exactly. Maybe today in the evening, but I think the nurse said that they probably will keep me here until tomorrow, just to be sure everything is okay.” You didn’t say anything of the cramps and the flashback you had in the ambulance car yesterday because you didn’t want to look like a complete freak. Then you and Beck had a nice talk with the two actors. The initial shyness and insecurities were gone after a few minutes and you had a lot of fun, it was nice to chat with them about everyday-things. To be honest you never idolized actors, not even the ones of your favourite show, they were still normal people to you, normal people with a very cool job, but normal people, maybe this helped you to keep the conversation interesting for everyone. Jensen shared something about his family and about the time on set. Beck and you told them about your studies and how you met just a day before. You noticed Mishas glance on you a few times, but maybe he just wanted to check on you if everything was okay. You didn’t think a lot about that. Suddenly Jensens phone rang, he looked at it and just said “It’s Jared, I’ve to get that one.” Then he left the room picking up the phone.

Mishas PoV

When Jensen left the room, I knew this could be the moment to tell Y/N that I was Dmitri. I thought about how to tell her, but how? There was no good way into this conversation. There was silence in the room since Jensen left. “I guess you have to do convention things today?” Y/n asked and I slowly nodded. “Yeah, in the afternoon there are some things to do, but our panels don’t start until tomorrow.” I answered. “Then why did you get here yesterday?” Y/N asked. “I mean, you could have spent this two days anywhere, you never get this early on a convention.” I looked at her a bit baffled, like she read my mind and didn’t know what to say. “Sorry. That’s none of my business.” She backtracked. “I.. I’m just curios.” I thought about it a little longer, this was the moment to come out with my secret “No, it’s okay. It’s a good question. Uhm- We… no, wait actually it was just me.. So I had to meet someone here… uhm-I planned something for this I needed some time.” I shook my head. Why couldn’t I just come straight to the point. “I see… and Jensen and Jared just were some good friends who didn’t let you down on this…” Y/N smiled. “Well, yes.. but..” I tried again, but she interrupted me and said “It’s okay. It’s your private stuff, I understand that you don’t want to tell some people, who you don’t know about it.” She smiled again. No, she didn’t understand and I didn’t know how to correct this misunderstanding. “No…, wait… I-“ suddenly Jensen came back in the room. “Misha, I think we have to go.. They need us at the convention centre.” He said and I looked at him like he told me my mum has died. “I’m sorry, Jared was very clear about it. We have to be there asap.” He looked at Y/N and Beck “It was nice to meet you, Beck. Y/N, I hope you get better soon.” Then he turned to me “Mish, I’ll get us a taxi, hurry up.” After that he shot us a last smile and left the room. I stared at the door, then I stood up, I took my wallet and pulled two of my cards out, I didn’t really think about it, but in the next moment I just did what I had to do. I took one card and noted a short thing on it “This is my private phone number” I gave the card to Beck and then took the second one, also wrote something on it and gave it to Y/N “Call me, if you need anything, doesn’t matter what, you are part of the family now. We have your back. I have your back.” Then I stood up, took my jacket and left the room after one last look back. Y/N stared at me and Beck, her friend, also couldn’t believe what happened. I smiled and closed the door after me. That didn’t go like planned, but it wasn’t that bad. Jensen waited outside the hospital; he wore his sunglasses and tried not to be noticed. I was heading in his direction, but my thoughts were completely somewhere else. Was it right to give her the card or was it a stupid idea? When I reached Jensen, he smiled at me “She is really nice. I like her, man. Did you tell her, that you are your secret guarding angel?” he teased me and I had to smile about the reference. “Hmm. I really tried, but she didn’t understand.” I answered “She thinks I’m here to meet a woman…” Jensen raised his eyebrows “Well, I mean, that’s not exactly wrong.” He laughed. “Yeah… She thinks it’s another woman, she interrupted me, when I was explaining the situation and then you came back and.. Well… This was it, maybe its better like that.” Jensen looked at me and shook his head “I don’t know.” But then the taxi came and we tried to focus on the upcoming convention.

Your PoV:

You didn’t look at the card Misha gave you, you held it in your hand and after a few minutes of staring on the closed door, you put it in your note-book, which laid on the nightstand. “Uhm. Did this really happen?” Beck asked and stared at the card in her hand. You looked at her and nodded. “I guess he liked us. And he really trusts us not to be some crazy creeps.” You started to laugh and Beck joined in. “Nothing on the con could beat that.” She said.

The rest of the day flew by, you really were allowed to leave the hospital on the same day, in the evening and for a short moment you thought about attending the Saturday Night Special at the Con, you read so much about it and you really wanted to see it with your own eyes, but on the other hand you couldn’t risk it to pass out again und cause the stuff more trouble than you did already. So you went out for a drink with Beck, she said that she had seen the SNS a few times, it wasn’t a drama to miss it this time. You let the taxi driver choose the bar and he showed you a little bar, which was very nice and not very crowded. Perfect for having a little chat and enjoying some drinks. You stayed there for quite a while when suddenly a group of people arrived. “Hmm. It seems nice, the taxi-driver didn’t lie, this place is really an inside tip” somebody said and Beck turned around quickly “That’s Richard Speight and I think the others are the people from the SNS” she said “Y/N, I think this is the weirdest con-experience I’ve ever had.” Beck laughed, “like, how can all this happen on just one weekend?” You starred at the group of people and then back to Beck. “Uhhm. I don’t know what to say.” You stated and focussed on your conversation again, you felt like the cast deserved some private time, but just a few minutes later Rob and Matt stood in front of you “Hello, would you mind if we join you at your table?” Matt asked “The rest of the tables are already occupied..” Beck looked at me and I looked at her in the same moment, then we nodded “No problem, feel free to join.” Beck said and they put their beer-bottles on the table “Thanks. So, I’m Matt, and this is Rob.” Matt introduced himself and the smaller guy, he obviously thought you didn’t know them and with a sideglance to Beck you decided to play along. “This is Y/N and I’m Beck.” Said Beck and you smiled “Nice to meet you, Rob and Matt. So, what brings you here?” You asked them and Rob giggled “The taxi-driver, we asked him for a nice, little bar, so he got us here” – “Well, same thing happened to us.” Beck laughed “We are for… well, for holidays and were looking for a spot with less tourists.” She then continued. It was a very nice talk with Rob and Matt, some time later Richard Speight joined in and brought some beer for everybody. You laughed; they told you stories from their private lives, from their travelling together and some other stuff. You still couldn’t believe this actually happened, it was your very own con-experience and it was fantastic.

When you looked at your phone to check the time it was about 3:30 in the morning. You were getting tired and so was Beck and even the guys groaned from time to time. “I guess it’s time to head to the hotel.” You said in Becks direction, she nodded and you both stood up. “In which hotel are you staying?” Rob asked, when Rich looked at him pulling the eyebrow up he realized how odd this question was “Oh.. sorry.. I.. I thought… I mean, we are staying in a hotel as well… And I thought about sharing a taxi…” you smiled about Robs embarrassment and then told them the name of your hotel “I think it would be great not to get home alone, in the middle of the night in a unknown city.” You added and Beck agreed. “Nice, that’s really nearly next to our hotel.. So let’s go” Rich said and guided you and Beck outside the bar to a taxi. When the taxi arrived at your hotel you said goodbye to the guys “It was nice meeting you, we had a lot of fun” you said to them and they nodded. “Have a good night, you two. And don’t forget: You always meet twice.” Richard laughed and gave you a wink, then they closed the car-door and headed to their hotel, which was just a few hundred meters away. Beck was still smiling “This was honestly one of the best days of my life.” She said. “Have a good night, Y/N. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow, I’ll pick you up here at about 8:00 a.m.?” – “Sounds good, have a good night, Beck” you hugged her and then headed towards the elevator, to get to your room.

The following Sunday was nearly normal, you had breakfast with Beck, then you walked around the convention center, but you didn’t try to watch one of the panels. After the closing ceremony, you watched it on a screen in the hallway, you went back to your hotel room to pack your stuff, you got yourself late-check-out, so you could use the whole afternoon for packing and thinking about the past weekend, it was kind of crazy, but it was the best weekend in your life so far. Then you thought about the journey home, coming home in your own apartment. Your stomach hurt, when you thought about meeting Jacob again. He wasn’t a fan of this trip, he liked you to be by his side, he needed you by his side, he said that every time you talked about this trip. In this moment your phone buzzed ‘Hey babe, when are you getting home today? Waiting for you here. Ily Jacob’ you smiled. He loved you, maybe he wasn’t angry about the weekend. Maybe it will all be okay.

---

After you said goodbye to Beck and you promised to visit each other you took your bus home, it was quite a ride, a few hours passed and it was dark outside when you arrived in your hometown. You texted Jacob your arriving time and he promised to pick you up at the station and he held his promise. He pulled you closer as soon as he got the chance. “I missed you, babe. You can’t do that to me again” he said and you could smell alcohol in his breath. “Are you drunk, Jacob?” you asked and he shook his head “I just had one beer, let’s go home.” He grabbed your wrist far too tight and pulled you to the car, there he pressed to the car. “I missed you, you know. Because I need you, I love you, you do love me as well, do you?” he said, not leaving any space for you to move. You nodded, but he wasn’t letting you go “Say it, babe, you love me.” He said again and forced you to look into his eyes “Yes, Jacob, I love you.” When he heard that, he let go of you and put your bags in the car. “Let’s go home, babe, you have to tell me how your weekend was.” He said and you got into the car.

In the evening you told Jacob some things of the weekend, but he didn’t seem that interested so you kept most of it for yourself. Together you watched some TV and then went to bed, it was late and both of you were tired so you just slept next to each other. The following days were quite unspectacular; you weren’t in the mood to unpack your things, so the backpack just laid there at the floor. Jacob was here nearly every night, you got used to giving him what he wanted. You hated the days he was in a bad mood so you tried everything to keep him happy. One morning, a few days later Jacob tripped over your bags, you hurried to get your things and put them away “Sorry, I should have put them away earlier.” You said, but Jacob kept quiet, “I’m so sorry, are you hurt?” you asked again and after you put away the rest of the backpack you saw that Jacob got something in his hand. “Babe? Who is Dmitri?” he asked and you could sense the anger in his voice. You didn’t understand, how…? “What?” you asked and Jacob looked at you furiously. “Don’t do this to me- Who is Dmitri?” he asked again and when you didn’t say anything he grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you close. “I thought you loved me.” He then said and in the next second you felt a stinging pain on your cheek. You couldn’t do anything but watch when Jacob threw something on you, a little card or something, then he left the place. You sat on the floor. What happened? When the pain slowly went away you took the card Jacob threw at you. It was the card with Misha Collins phone number, you looked at it closely for the first time since Misha gave it to you, it was not just his phone number, there were two more words on it “Love, Dmitri”

______

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One Day At A Time - Jensen x Reader

A/N: Part Three! If you’d like to be tagged, please sent an ask or message. As always, feedback is incredible. And, I hope you all enjoy <3

PSA: I am NOT a minor friendly blog. If you are below 18, please come back when you’re older. I don’t want to lose my blog because you were too eager to grow up. If I discover you, I WILL block.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Widower!Jensen. Grieving process. Age Gap. Character pregnancy. Unrequited feelings. Online personality problems. Guilt. I believe that is all.

Word Count: Roughly 2,700

“Hi, there,” The woman giggled into the mic as Jensen played up the flirty eyebrow bounce and cheesy smile that would be cast over Tumblr within twenty four hours.

He was finished after that final panel, for the trip. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower and catching some sleep. His mind was still reeling from the news he'd been given that morning, but he couldn't focus on that. So, he buried himself behind that charming persona he'd created.

“Dude, leave her alone...she wants me,” Jared smoothed his thick, long, chestnut locks in a way that caused thirsty cries from all around. He cackled as his friend mock frowned his way; unimpressed at the turn of attention. Earning the familiar high pitched laugh from the crowd in front of them.

It was easy to play into their hands. To take the nerves that came with being shy and put it towards acting like a dork with his best friend. He appreciated the disguise more than he'd ever say. Letting it mask the worry and fear he could feel churning inside of him when it was too quiet for long.

“Actually, my question is for Jensen-”

“Ha!” The mentioned man in question leaned forward at the barked utterance, pretending to gloat. Smugly bouncing his brows at Padalecki.

With a deep, regretful sigh, the taller of the two settled back in his chair; wrapping his arms around the back of it as he sat in reverse, “Okay, I guess.” The over dramatically stated words were coupled with a theatrical sulk that drew forth more giggles.

“I was wondering if Y/N and the kids are enjoying the trip to San Diego,” It was no secret that his family had been flocked around him. Until now, that is. The way he paused at that had every eye present turning towards him.

“Uh, actually...” He forced his lips to stay upright. “They're back home, right now.” Concerned 'awes' filled the air. “No, no. It's okay. They're living it up.” Jared turned his gaze back to the man he'd been brothers with for almost two decades. Not buying into the idea that he was really alright with it. “Last time I checked, they were having some kinda dance party. Again.” The way he clenched his teeth relaxed the fans a bit. An over emphasized grimace always seemed to break the mood. “It was wild. There was pink everywhere and a herd of little girls shouting to music.”

“Odette was leading the charge on the one I got,” The taller man joined in, having received his own recording. “Kicked Zeppelin over to my place for an old fashioned dinosaur night with the boys.” More awes filled the air.

“Y/N sent you something? I thought you two still weren't talking after you tried to drown her?” His brow crooked, finding something he could latch onto. Knowing that his friend had delivered that ammo on purpose. He really did love the moose.

“I can explain!” Jared held up his hand towards the 'ooohs,' and then stopped. “No... no, I can't.” His head dipped in false shame, earning another set of rambunctious chuckles.

“I can.” Jensen easily took over. Turning to better face the crowd now that he'd successfully maneuvered around the original question. “This guy tortures my nanny. She's like the female version of Misha to Jared. It's endless.” The mentioned man's lips screwed up as he nodded proudly, accepting the label that was thrown onto you. “So, we were at a cookout over at his place. I'm flipping burgers and relaxing with a beer. You know...like a normal person.” His words only made his friend shrug. Zero shame in sight. “Next thing I know? She's screeching as he full on tosses her into the pool.”

“She called me old!” The roar that followed was deafening. “See? They get it!” He beamed at the response only serving to make Jensen over-exaggerate the roll of his green eyes. “And, it worked. What did she say after?”

“You're a child.” The admission was straightforward.

“Meaning that I'm young, and that she was wrong.” A round of applause made him get to his feet, and bow as the widower shook his head in mock shame. Cracking his own grin.

The mic was lifted back to Jensen's lips, “Dude...you started a war because she told the truth?” He knew what had been said, but the crowd was eating it up. Keeping him safe for a little while longer.

“That hurts...” A pat to the heart was thrown in. “That hurts me right there.”

“The kids all joined in. It was chaos.” Ackles explained the previous comment to the women, with a few men scattered here and there. “My kids and Y/N versus his herd and him. We needed an ark to get to the tables. They soaked everything.” His hand panned across the people in front of him, emphasizing how far the damage had spread. “Everything. Gen thought they were going to kill each other.” Jared cackled. Remembering the look on his wife's face. “Y'all know how we had to stop pranking each other, right? 'Cause it was so deadly? That's what they should be doing. Instead, she's become this...epic battle partner. I'm thinking they'll start the next apocalypse before this is over.” A proud nod confirmed it. Jared wouldn't give in until the world ended. Or, he had to go back to work. Whichever happened first.

“Do you prank Y/N?” Someone shouted, catching his attention.

“Do I... Do I prank her? Are you kidding? Do I look stupid?” More laughs filled the air as he shuddered something fierce. “Misha? Absolutely. He doesn't fight back.” His fingers tacked off each point. “He doesn't live in my house. Doesn't hang out with my kids. I like not having to worry about her sicking my spawn on me in retaliation. They'd do it in a heart beat, too.” And most importantly, it kept the professional barriers somewhat in place. “Yeah, no, Y/N and I don't....we're not...” Weren't anything other than co-parents, employer and employee, and almost friends in an odd sort of way. How's that for complicated?

“As fun as I am,” Jared finished, saving him, again. Hoping that the fans wouldn't take that last statement as he had started to. He covered his own look of interest before diving back into the panel. “Now, that we went way off topic....who's next?”

–

“How did the 'mom' thing even start?” You asked in confusion, scrolling through your Instagram notifications. Your feet thrown over the back of the couch as you sprawled. Making yourself quite at home in the Ackles house. The selfie you'd posted while cleaning the damage the girls had caused was packed.

Not that you weren't used to it by that stage. The moment Danneel had tagged you in a post, it had been over. You'd been stalked and fawned over by some. When she passed? You'd been flocked for updates about the Ackles family.

It had taken a year for you to gather the courage to begin posting again. Once you did? The fandom clung to you for offering small pieces of what life was like inside the Ackles' household. Needing to have that sense of closeness to the supernatural family, still, even with a member gone.

The simple image of you with Oscar resting his head on your lap as you sorted the makeup away had garnered the usual 'queen', 'mom', and 'I love yous' mixed with the occasional trash talker. Once Jensen had commented saying he wanted his dog back when he got home? It had grown worse. When you told him that he'd have to fight you for the golden doodle? The post had blown up. The fans demanding to know if you and him had something going on.

Apparently his panel had only cemented the idea, somehow. You hadn't watched it. Leaving you to only wonder what he'd said to garner that response. Sure it had simply been taken out of context.

You scrolled on, determined to find some answers. A few flicks of your fingers and fate intervened. The phone slipped to your face. Making you wince all the while. As if life had directly told you that social media was bad for your health.

With a sigh, you tossed your phone to the couch. Trying to not let the extreme Danneel and Jensen fans get under your skin. Too many 'you'll never be her' comments filled your mind. More than enough 'stop trying to take her place' had you questioning where you stood. You were doing everything you could to get what was needed done while not dancing on your deceased friend's toes.

Did the world really not understand? Were you really any better off than they suggested? The small crush said you weren't.

“No idea,” Genevieve stated seriously, walking towards the grey couch you were occupying with a pile of healthy snacks loaded up. Pulling you from the internal struggle. She'd been extra conscious of what she was putting into her body since she'd discovered the newest pregnancy. “I just kinda...roll with it.”

She and the kiddos were bunking with you. Tag teaming was so much simpler when the baby exhaustion hit. And it gave the both of you some grownup time together when the men were away.

“It's so strange,” You picked up one of the grapes with your fingers before plopping it in your mouth. Giving up on trying to understand the fact that you'd become an icon of sorts- and the ramifications- for simply nannying some, albeit great, kids.

At your friend's next words, you choked, “So...what's the deal with you and Jensen?”

“It's the same as its always been,” Came the broken words as you got back a hold of yourself. Brushing it off. “Why?”

“Just curious,” That wasn't it. The cool, actress's poker face she wore said as much. But, you were too sensitive to call her out on it, just then. Luckily, she changed gears. “I can't believe that this is it...The last season is being filmed this year.”

The CW had finally pulled the plug on the Winchesters once it had hit adulthood. The boys had found out in a meeting that morning. They'd known it was coming. Had even agreed to it. And yet? Hearing the finality of it? Was another nail in the coffin.

“Eighteen seasons...It's crazy.” Your hand ran through your hair as you looked at the old episode on screen. Sister Jo stood off against Michael!Dean. The tension in the scene was palpable. It didn't hurt to watch it, anymore. Instead, you focused on the fact that she'd been doing what she loved with the man she'd been head over heels for. “How's Jared holding up?”

“He's zeroed in on the kids. Telling himself that it's going to be good for us in the end.” Her hand rubbed over her still flat stomach. “But, he's definitely feeling it. He's been Sam for so long... Saying goodbye is hard.”

“That it is,” You agreed, frowning at the screen. Wondering how Jensen was taking the day.

He hadn't said a thing to you when he'd checked in. Simply had asked for an update on the household before he crashed. Dean had become his crutch. Without the Winchester in his life, you weren't quite sure what he'd do with himself.

Ackles had a passion for directing and acting. There was no doubt about it. But, Supernatural had become everything when his life had turned upside down. It had given him the consistency he'd needed to get through. And while things had been okay for a time? It would be just another major thing he was losing.

Your socked foot rubbed over the soft fur of Icarus. The cockapoo was up there in age. He'd been diagnosed with congestive heart failure at sixteen years old. The white, fifteen pounds of floof didn't let it deter him, though. A couple of pills a day kept him comfortable and loved for as long as he could be. But, it had gotten under Jensen's skin, too.

It made your stomach churn to think about how fast the negative could pile up on already weakened shoulders. And yet, he wanted you to step back. Having time away from him had cleared your head. Allowed you to see his side of things. Maybe it was time to give him some room to breathe. To let him process everything on his own. After all, you were just the nanny...

–

“Dad!” Three voices shouted in unison when the door opened. Ditching their place at the table as Jensen stumbled in with a wide smile on his face. Each kid got a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

When they tried to talk over each other, he slowed them down, gently with a, “One at a time.” And, miraculously? It worked. He was informed of everything he'd already had reported to him. Only this time? In child perspective. Which made it dramatic. Completely over the top. Just the way he liked it.

A nod your way was all you received as you slipped past the scene; lifting his bag for him so that no one tripped over it. Including the bumbling dog that was trying to get a kiss in, himself. Oscar had missed his human while he'd been gone.

The dog had been with Danneel's brother during her last pregnancy. She'd been too sick to handle the energetic buffoon while Jensen had been away, filming the show. Gino had fallen in love with the pup. Keeping him...until he thought Jensen needed him more. Returning him back to the Ackles' home solemnly. Oscar had, once again, latched back onto the head of the house with a fierce loyalty that most wouldn't expect from a fluffed up mixed breed. The affection was mutual. Jensen's hand stilled the squirming beast with a simple pet to the top of his curled head as you left the chaos.

Jensen's room was clean. A feat that wouldn't last long once he started unpacking. Bed made up, clothes lined nice and neat, with just a hint of his cologne still lingering in the air from before he'd left. You dropped the duffle on the mattress and turned away. Only to catch sight of the image beside his pillow. It held the dogs, his wife, and the kids all surrounding him. Everything he loved in one picture. His family.

Slowly, you slid the door shut and returned back to the reunion, “Dinner's ready if you're hungry.” You smiled softly at the way he ensured each kid knew that they were loved before climbing back up to his feet. Lumbering after you to get the food while it was still hot.

“Spaghetti,” The actor rumbled in excitement, sniffing the air as he approached the table. His lips smacked hungrily. He was a sucker for a pasta with a good meat sauce. “The wardrobe ladies are gonna be mad at me, later, but I'm piling it up.” He hadn't exaggerated. The flight had left him hungry. “God, this is good.” Came the Dean-like groan as he chowed down. Forgetting that he didn't have to eat like a man who had lived off of nothing more than pizza and beer.

“Dad!” The tiny, disapproving tone left J.J with ease. “You're not supposed to talk with your mouth full.”

He gulped down the food, and smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, J-bird.”

“It's okay. Just try to remember,” The words were so Danneel that you couldn't help but to smile gently at them. She was going to be trouble as she continued to age. But, you had faith she'd be pretty great in the end. Hell, they all would if the night was any indication.

If he was upset about the show ending, he didn't show it. Even after the kids retired for the night and he helped clean up, he didn't say a word. The only thing you got was a pat on the back and a low “goodnight” that made your skin prickle before you returned your own.

Part Four

ODAAT: @winchester-ofthe-lord​​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @ima-be-a-mongoose​ @briagallen​

Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278​​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​

Forever: @dean-winchesters-bacon​​ @supernaturalginger​​ @lilulo-12​​​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @malfoysqueen14​​​  @michealneedssomemilk

Broken Halos Prologue

Pairing: JensenXDanneel, JaredXGen

Disclaimers: none!

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: okay so I’m trying something new for my next series! For the prologue, I just decided to do a series of social media posts through the reader’s point of view. Let me know what you think!!

Also: the reader is about 16 in this series and has been working on the show for about twelve years playing Liz Winchester, Sam and Dean’s sister :)

S E R I E S  M A S T E R L I S T

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February 3, 2019

“Now click ‘share’,” Jared said, pointing to the upper right corner of my phone screen as I watched the picture of the Impala I’d taken load onto the Instagram feed. “Your first Instagram post!”

“Better late than never I guess,” I said, smiling down at the screen when Jensen’s comment travel quickly to the top. Jared and I squinted it at before looking up quickly to Jensen who was in his director chair, motioning for us to get into the car to start the next scene.

“He’s no fun,” Jared joked, the two of us sliding into the Impala as he explained the ins and outs of an Instagram story.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

March 1, 2019

“Happy birthday to you!” the cast and crew finished after Jensen finally broke and let us sing for him on his birthday, the group erupting into cheers and claps.

“Alright, alright,” Jensen said as he waved us off, the tips of his ears slightly pink. “Thanks you guys.”

After singing our off-key tune everyone began to disperse in order to get the filming day started. I snuck up next to Jensen as we began to walk toward the trailers, giving him a sideways hug.

“Happy birthday,” I said as he squeezed my shoulder. “Any big birthday plans?”

“Work,” he laughed.

“Aw, c’mon! You don’t have anything planned?”

“Y/N, my four birthday parties last year were enough to last me the rest of my life.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

March 24, 2019

“Rocco, lets go!” My dad said as we continued to run down our usual path at the back of the house. I turned to look back over my shoulder where Rocco was rolling over onto his back, his paws in the air and looking up at my dad.

I laughed, jogging back as I rubbed Rocco’s belly after taking a picture of him, “He knows he’s cute, that’s why he does this.”

After his picture had been taken, Rocco quickly rolled back up onto his four legs, watching us as if he were finally ready to go. Dad laughed, patting Rocco on his head, “He is pretty cute.”

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April 13, 2019

I couldn’t count the amount of times I’d been to Chicago, but it felt like every time I landed in that big city it seemed like it couldn’t get any better. I gazed out the plane window down at the city lights that shown brightly against the dark sky.

“It’s pretty, huh?” Mom said as she leaned over the armrest between us to look out the window. I nodded, not wanting to look away for even a second.

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April 19, 2019

I fell on top of the hotel bed, huffing as I splayed my arms and legs across it, my ankles feeling like they were on fire. I tore the heels off, throwing them onto the floor.

“We’re never doing that again,” I laughed to my friend Sydney who flopped against the bed next to me. 

She nodded in agreement, “But it was so fun.”

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April 25, 2019

I set the popcorn down on the coffee table, sitting in between my parents as we switched the channel, getting ready to watch the season finale. 

“What do you think’s gonna happen?” My mom asked my dad. 

Dad shrugged, grabbing a handful of popcorn, “I don’t know, I just hope they’re all in one piece by the end of it.”

I glanced to the two of them, “You know I could just tell you-”

“No!” They nearly shouted in unison. I laughed shaking my head as they shushed me. “It’s starting!”

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May 3, 2019

I breathed deeply, the crisp air around us unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Sydney and Daniel trailed close behind as we hiked the trails.

“Isn’t this the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” I asked as we looked around.

“It’s amazing,” Sydney agreed as we peered up at the mountains surrounding us. 

Daniel gripped his backpack strap tighter in his hands, “Yeah...alright, that’s enough heights for me for the day. What do you say we head back down?”

“Just five more minutes,” I said as I stared off, Sydney and I dropping our backpacks to the ground.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

May 22, 2019

I crossed off another day on my calendar, flipping it to the next page to see the large circle around June 22. I smiled, the thought of another convention making my heart swell. The last few weeks were hard, like some days are and it was reassuring to know I had something good to look forward to in the future.

I ran my hand over the Always Keep Fighting sticker I’d stuck to my bedroom mirror, reminding myself that even in these hard days, no matter how bad they seemed, there would always be something just on the horizon worth sticking around for.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

June 22, 2019

“Why are you wearing that in June?” Jensen asked as he looked at my outfit during the gold panel. “We’re in Texas!” 

The comment made the crowd erupt into laughter. I looked down to my all-black outfit before looking up to him, “Hurts being this good looking.”

The three of us laughed, Jared snapping his fingers in a Z-formation, “You tell him, girl.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

June 29, 2019

“There she is!” Mom said as I parked the car, opening the back door and letting Rocco and Oscar out of the backseat, watching them run toward the picnic benches outside of the brewery.

I sat down next to mom and dad, watching the dogs run off to play with each other. I reached for mom’s glass of beer as she pulled it away, giving me a warning look. I turned to dad, who let me take a quick sip of his, earning him an even more stern glare.

“Hey, Y/N!” Danneel said as she came from inside, wiping her wet hands on her overalls. “Oscar was okay for you?”

I nodded, “Always. You guys busy?”

“Ahh,” she looked back toward the brewery and back to us. “Yeah, we’re pretty short staffed.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mom asked as she stood. “We’ll help out.”

Dad nodded in agreement, “Point us where you need us.”

“No, you guys enjoy your drinks-”

“Danneel,” mom said as she laid a hand on her arm. “We’re here to help, whatever we can do.”

Danneel smiled, holding mom’s hand as she explained what she needed. “You okay watching the dogs out here for a while?”

I picked up the tennis ball, throwing it across the park, “You kidding me? This is the best part of helping out here!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

July 9, 2019

“How do they do it?” I asked as I watched Tom and Shep easily ride the horses around the small fenced-in area. I subconsciously rubbed the back of my thighs that were sore from only riding for nearly ten minutes.

Gen laughed, adjusting Odette on her hip, “They’ve been on a horse or two.”

“Great job, you two!” I shouted to them, seeing their small smiles flash over to Gen and I. I turned to Odette, tickling her belly making her laugh. “Not much longer and you’ll be out there, too!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

July 19, 2019

I knocked twice on Jared’s trailer before pulling it open, shielding the present behind my back. Jared looked up from the counter he was sitting at in front of his laptop, smiling at me. “What’s behind your back, Y/N?”

I scooted inside, keeping it hidden. Jared watched me closely as I held it out, handing him the poorly wrapped gift. I eyed the Christmas gift wrapping that used to say ‘Happy Birthday Jesus!’ before I took a sharpie to it and crossed out Jesus for Jared. 

Jared laughed, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to,” I said, sitting down at the bar stool on the other side of the counter. He slowly unwrapped the gift, holding it away from him slightly. I rolled my eyes. “Nothing’s going to bite you. Promise.”

Jared pulled out the framed picture of him, Jensen and I from nearly eleven years ago. I watched how his eyes dragged across all of the short messages from the cast and crew I had them all sign. 

Jared looked up to me, tears in his eyes, “Y/N, I- thank you, I love it.”

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July 21, 2019

“This is a really unique feeling, we’ve been up here a few times and have been really lucky,” Jared said as we sat at our Comic Con panel for the last time. I marveled at the audience, taking my final look at them before we had to leave. “And I know last night J, Y/N and I were up talking for about two or three hours just about the show and how lucky we are. And I think, for me, I am so grateful that the friendships I’ve made, those will never go away, and what we’ve done here, that will never go away either.”

The crowd erupted into applause as Misha leaned toward his microphone, “You know, backstage we all promised we weren’t gonna cry and we all knew we were lying to each other.” Misha said, making all of us laugh. “Just...just, we love you guys, love you guys,” Misha said, looking down the panel. “Thank you.”

At this point, I couldn’t hide the tears that freely fell down my face. I ran the palms of my hands over my cheeks as I watched Jensen begin to speak, “Thanks for showing up, you guys because without you, we wouldn’t be here. It’s an amazing thing to see, this many faces who appreciate what we do...” Jensen trailed off, obviously choking up. “Just, thank you.”

I sighed, knowing it was my turn to speak. I smiled, “You guys have been such an amazing group of people who’ve quickly become our friends and...and we’re so lucky to have done this for so many years. Thanks for riding this crazy ride with us all the way.” I said, wiping away more tears, Jared patting my back. “We love you, we’ll miss you.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

July 31, 2019

“Crap, crap, crap,” I said quickly, trying to delete the picture that was already being drowned in comments about my character’s fate. I quickly deleted the post, my heart pounding. I banged the palm of my hand against my forehead, shaking my head at myself.

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August 10, 2019

“Please stay up, please stay up...” I begged as I slowly backed away from the tents I’d spent nearly an hour on. I held my hands up, making sure not to make any sudden movements, holding my breath, waiting for them to collapse. When they stayed in place, I smiled triumphantly, turning around to where the kids were not five minutes ago. “You guys?” 

I listened quietly, following the sound of quiet giggling all the way to the bathroom. I pushed the door open, my heart melting at the sight of them playing together on the rug.

“There you guys are,” I said. “I finally got those tents up-”

“We like it in here, Y/N,” JJ said. I raised my eyebrows, looking to the twins who nodded in agreement. I laughed, nodding once.

“Alright, bathroom it is.”

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August 20, 2019

The crew around us burst into fits of laughter once Jared had jumped around the corner and smashed the pie into Misha’s face, Jared’s arms thrown up in the air in triumph. Misha shook his head, the pie falling to the floor.

“I thought you’d be nice to me today!” Misha shouted at him through laughter as he wiped the pie from his face, flinging it at Jared.

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September 29, 2019

“So, my question is for Y/N,” a fan asked from the side of the stage. “What went through your head after you posted that picture on Instagram basically spoiling that Liz was alive.”

Jensen and Jared along with the audience burst into laughter. I banged my head against my microphone dramatically, but laughing with them nonetheless, “I thought I was fired!”

“Liz would’ve really been killed then,” Jensen said, laughing. “Seriously, what was the mental process you went through when you realized what you did?”

I sat back in my chair, reminiscing on my own stupidity, “Well first, I was confused why everyone was so excited I was filming, and then I went into a kind of shock where I couldn’t move for a minute, and then it was like my body was moving so fast I couldn’t remember how to work Instagram.”

Jared and Jensen laughed harder, shaking their heads before turning to the audience, “You never know! Maybe she died and she’s back as something else!” Jared said, quickly trying to take the fire off me.

I shrugged, “You never know...thanks for making me relive that.”

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November 3, 2019

I waved as the fans moved down the line, signing autographs while also trying to make small talk with each of them. I hated that it had to move so quickly, wishing I could sit down with them and talk to them individually.

The next girl in line stepped forward, smiling brightly as she handing something to me, a large book covered in a collage of pictures of Jared, Jensen, Misha and I, “This is for you, I made it.”

I smiled as I flipped through it, catching glimpses of past photo ops with fans, old pictures from set that had to have been taken nearly ten years ago. I found myself trying to fight back tears at the gift. “This is amazing, thank you.”

“I wanted you to have something for when after the show ended so you’ll always have a piece of us,” she said sweetly. I took her hands in mine before hugging her over the table, wondering how I’d gotten so lucky.

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FOREVER TAG LIST

@spnbaby-67​ | @majicbamana​ | @luciferslucille​ | @anti-social-club​ | @search-bar​ | @mellorine-paprika​ | @thepocketshoelace​ | @jaremish​ | @the-salty-asian​ | @the-hufflepuff-hunter​ | @robynannemackenzie-blog​ | @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​ | @lilreethi​ | @find-sammys-shoe​ |  @caswinchester2000​ | @damnedimpala​​ | @thelittlestwinchestersister​ | @lauren-novak​​ | @adeanmon​​ | @tmiships4life​​ | @spnficgirl​​ | @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ | @defenderrosetyler​

Safe and Sound (Robert Downey Jr. x Daughter!Reader)

Chapter 7

Masterlist

Previously on Safe and Sound...

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1,254

A/N: So, I’ve never been to Comic-Con, just the small one here in my city. Which that Comic-Con is VERY SMALL, so I really don’t know what the actual Comic-Cons are like so this is all going based off guesses. So... Bear with me! 

“I don’t know,” your father began to say, it had been a week since finding the adoption papers, and it was getting harder to act as if everything was normal. You hesitated at times when calling the people in the same house as you, mom and dad. Were they even your parents? Or were they your kidnappers? He watched you pack your drawstring backpack with some necessities you were going to need for the Comic-Con.“I don’t like you staying out late on a school night, hon,” he said quietly, “maybe you can get a refund on the tickets? We could have a movie night!” you looked over at him, he had a smile plastered on his face.

You sighed, “(Y/B/F/N) and I have been planning this for a while now, you know that” you said as you placed your portable charger in the bag. “Anyway, I should be home around Ten tonight.” That was if everything went according to the plan… well, you guys didn’t really have a plan, you were just playing it by ear.

He let out a defeated sigh, of course, he wouldn’t want to ruin your plans you had made for months now but he still felt uneasy about the situation, “call me when you’re on your way home,” he informed you. “I’ll be expecting you home by Ten okay? Eleven is the latest.” You gave him a nod.

You heard a car honk outside, you walked over to your window, “That’s them,” you said as you spotted your best friend waving you over from her house.

“Do you have some spending money?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you gave him a small smile and grabbed your bag, you passed him, “I’ll see you later!” You called out as you walked down the stairs.

“Call me!” He yelled out as you walked out of the house.

You walked over to the house next door, “took you long enough,” (Y/B/F/N) said as you walked up to her.

“My dad was trying to convince me not to go as I packed my drawstring bag,” you explained.

She gasped, “were you able to put you know what in your bag?”

You nod, “I placed it in there last night just in case,” you said with a smile.

“Kind of weird, he didn’t want you going, don’t you think?”

You tried your best not to think about it but it was kind of weird that he was so adamant to get you to stay home. Especially since he had been so excited about this for a while, well, actually until last week. When it had been announced that Robert Downey Jr. would be attending SDCC. You shook away your thoughts, “I don’t know,” you said with a shrug.

“You girls ready?” Your best friends dad said as he rolled down the window. You hadn’t noticed he had been waiting in the car for you guys.

“Sorry, dad!” Your best friend quickly said as she ran over to the passenger seat, you got into the backseat.

The ride to the convention was peaceful, but your nerves were everywhere. You didn’t know how this was going to play out and how you would feel afterward.

“We’re here!” Your best friend said with glee as she got off the car, you quickly got off.

“You girls have fun!” Her dad said. You both waved him goodbye as he drove off.

“Alright, we have to hurry up and get to Misha’s photo op!” Your best friend said. You both scrambled inside, going to the check-in booth, grabbing your lanyards for the photo op. The ladies at the booth gave you directions to where the photo op would be held, you guys tried your best to follow these directions, having to ask for help from random people at times because you guys did get lost. You finally found the spot where Misha Collins photo op would be held. You guys waited in line, “alright! Brainstorming time!” Your best friend whispered.

“Maybe we should wait until we get to his panel to brainstorm because right now we have no idea what’s going to happen, maybe after his panel, he’ll do a small meet and greet? I don’t know,” you sighed, “I’m not sure how these things work,” you said softly.

Your best friend gave you a nod, “you’re right, we should wait until we get to his panel to do anything. For now, let’s get excited!! We’re gonna meet Misha fucking Collins for christ sake! Castiel!!”

You laughed at your best friends excitement, she was right, you needed to get excited. You needed to get your mind off things. The line moved rather quickly, it was soon your turn, and Misha was a huge sweetheart! You hugged him longer than expected but he didn’t mind, he gently rubbed your back through the hug. He knew that sometimes his fans needed that comfort. You asked to do a prom pose and he was clearly very excited about it. Once you got your photo with Misha, he said to not miss out on the panel which you told him you wouldn’t. You walked out of the area to find your best friend dancing from excitement.

“We just met Misha Collins!!!” She said as she ran up to you.

You laughed, “let’s make our way to the Supernatural panel so we can get some good seats.” She agreed, you both then scrambled over to the room for the panel. You guys were lucky enough to find seats in the front row. Soon enough more people began to fill up the room and the panel began. You both sat and listened when it came time to ask questions you got the chance to ask a question for all the actors.

“Hi!” it was obvious that you were nervous, “this is for all of you, but I was wondering what is one thing you took from your character, personality wise, that has changed you in a better way?” You handed the mic back to the lady. The actors pondered your question for a bit and had some pretty good answers. Jensen told you directly that he liked your question which caused you to smile from ear to ear. Soon enough, the panel finished, you were still in awe by what just happened.

“We have to go!” Your best friend said as she grabbed your arm.

You quickly realized that you guys only had a short amount of time left until Robert’s panel was finished, you raced over to where his panel was being held. You stood there a bit shocked at the man standing on stage talking, it was him. Robert Downey Jr.

The man that could essentially be your father. “Look,” your best friend nudges you, she gestured with her head towards the hallway that was next to the stage, a hallway with only one security guard by it. “I distract, you slip by,” she whispers as she looks around to make sure no one is listening.

“Thank you guys, for coming out! It’s been a pleasure!” You heard Robert say into the mic, the crowd cheers.

“If we’re doing this, we have to do it now, (y/n).”

This was probably your only choice at trying to get to Robert, to at least make some type of contact with him, and try to find out more information on who you were. “Let’s do it,” you gave your best friend a nod and you both sprung into action.

Almost posted Chapter 9 instead of chapter 7... Woops. 

Safe and Sound taglist is CLOSED

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[part 1/2]

Hi, I’ve fallen in the cockles dumpster years ago and I don’t know how to reach the surface anymore.

we can say I’m a newbie on your inbox and I just thought we could all tinhat a little bit about one of the things that sold me on cockles to be a real thing: honcon 2017.

Here’s the list of things I can’t find a platonic heterosexual explanation for:

(Funny but useless foreword, a few days before the con a fan tweeted a photo of a rainbow she saw when her flight land in honolulu and said she took it as a sign that was gonna be a gay weekend, and man she was right lol)

1- Misha flew to a hawaii on thursday just like all the other guests who were supposed to be at the con way before J2 did.

We know j2 stopped shooting the same day/the day after because on friday Jensen was spotted by a fan on a plane to honolulu even tho he was expected to be there on sunday.

while Jared preferred spending that bit of free time at home. (Gen posted a few instagram stories of jared and the kids in Texas.) Jensen went straight to misha instead.

Even tho at the previous con j2 talked about how the following weeks were going to be full of work commitments and between work and cons so close to one another they couldn’t see the families as much.

I’m not saying Jensen didn’t miss his wife and kid. He loves them and clearly meant it when he said he missed them so much. That’s why it was surprising seeing him join misha so early. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it was a planned trip to spend time together.

2- I think it’s positive to say he was there early for Misha and only misha since that night a fan took a picture with them at an hotel bar. She posted it on instagram and said it was just the two of them, then she had to put the account on private since too many people were asking questions.

It’s strange how we only got one photo of that night tho, they’re always super nice with fans when being approached and usually after the first brave soul finds the courage to ask everyone else follow through.

Again I think they clearly wanted to be alone that night. No fans no castmates.

Maybe they were celebrating something?

3- Then the panel happened.

We all remember Jensen showing us how bad his kink for misha’s weird accents have gotten, how cheerful and at ease they were on stage.

Even I could feel the love was in the air and I live on the other side of the ocean!

welcome to the dumpster, nonnie! i love all of this a lot. i *just* got your part two and i am putting it and my reaction under the cut!! 

[part 2/2]

4 - Jensen also bought matching shirts for his friends. One black shirt for him and an identical one for his bro. But misha’s was red cause he knows him well enough to notice he never wears black shirts.

I mean Jensen has a history of showing affection through gifts, (I have a few examples on my mind but no time to write it all down now)

That was a nice thing to do.

5- Least but not last

THE DINNER STORY.

I don’t care if it’s been years I’m still not over how sweet that moment was.

The question was an easy generic one, It took misha less than two minutes to answer.

But then mr. 10 years. same bar, same table. same company. grabs the microphone and procede to share with us one the sweetest memory of Misha he got.

I mean it was so unexpected. Unlike Jared and Misha he’s careful about what he think is appropriate and what’s not.

In my mind it sounded like: “Listen I know it doesn’t answer your question but I’ve just spent a good weekend with this person right here, that I clearly love and care for, and I’m feeling soft, so let me tell you about how I realized I was whipped on him since our very first date”

Again I find it curious Jensen was reminiscing about how they first got together on that particular weekend.

The same one he decided to join misha early just to be with him.

That was one of the moments I realized there’s no way this is a platonic relationship.

Ok this turned out way longer than I expected.

I clearly miss jenmish so much I can’t stop blabber about them.

I’m sorry

Polaroid anon

first of all: don’t be sorry, i truly loved this because i felt like i was seeing the panel again in my minds eye while i was reading your message. 

second of all: you are absolutely right about everything except for calling misha’s shirt red. it was orange, which is misha’s favorite color, which makes it even more special that jensen got that one for him. 

i also think that jensen went there early just for mish, which is just. a lot. it reminds me of another con, where jensen could have gone home already but he waited for misha who had to do something else there the next day, and then two days later they were spotted together i think at the airport. 

i 100% agree that the fact that jensen shared that story about one of their first dinners is very special and rare. especially because in the past, whenever somebody wanted to hear a story from them, they both never knew what to share (probably because of lot of their stories are not suitable to share tbh) and to me it almost felt like he really thought about what he could share and what he would feel comfortable with, after all those times where he just went ‘shit idk what to say’. 

and what he shared just felt so romantic? like. the look on misha’s face when jensen was talking was also so soft, he was clearly thinking back on that moment. a moment they both remembered all those years later. i mean at that point they had known each other for nearly 10 years and they still remembered that one particular night. it made an impression on both of them. it was a date. and then to top it off jensen added that he thought to himself ‘but i think i love him a little bit more too’. wow. 

see, no need to apologize for talking a lot, as i clearly do the same sjfhshf.

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

You Got Iced- Chapter 2

Pairing: Jared x Reader x Jensen

Rating: T, for language (future chapters will be explicit)

Summary: Inspired in part by the challenge prompt and in part by this conventionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAHS_RJ5Gac (which is fucking hilarious, go enjoy yourselves there). The reader is attending a Supernatural convention during a heat wave and gets her money’s worth out of her ticket that’s for sure.

Word Count: 3773

Warnings: None for this chapter

A/N: Written for @babypieandwhiskey ‘s Hot as Hell challenge. If anyone else wants to be tagged in the rest of the chapters shoot me an ask! I’ll be posting them over the next couple weeks as I finish them. I’m in the process of moving to a different country so it’s taking me a little longer to write than I’d hoped :) 

Smirnoff Ice finally consumed, Jared and Jensen each reached out a hand to pull you up from your knees. Jensen’s eyes were almost glowing with a kind of subdued excitement that you couldn’t conceive of a reason for. He clapped your shoulder in a ‘job well done’ fashion and then exchanged a glance with Jared while you were straightening your clothes and weren’t looking at them. Jared had the same excitement burning behind his eyes, and gave Jensen a firm nod. 

“What do you say we get you a real drink to wash that crap down?” Jensen asked firmly, like it was more of an instruction than an offer. 

“What?” You spluttered, not understanding what on earth was going on. You looked between him and Jared, hoping one of them would offer up some kind of explanation. Neither did.

“Yeah,” Jared cut in, “we have a cooler of stuff in the green room back there. Come sit down for a bit.” Jared hovered his arm behind your back, as if to wrap it around your waist, but he didn’t touch. In an almost dream-like state you let them guide you towards the direction of their green room, calling a hurried goodbye and thank-you to Rob, Rich, and the band who were being left behind you. 

Upon reaching the green room, which was just a small conference room with two couches in one corner, and a cooler set up on a meeting table, surrounded by other snacks, Jensen bounded to the cooler while Jared continued to guide you to a seat in the corner of the couch. 

“What do you want to drink Y/N?” Jensen called over his shoulder. “We’ve got beer, there’s some wine in a can… I think this is whiskey…” he rifled through the assortment of bottles crammed together. 

“Um, I’m not picky, whatever you guys are having is fine,” your voice almost came out as a squeak because Jared had just lounged himself next to you, taking up the remainder of the couch with his giant giraffe legs. And those giant giraffe legs were now centimeters from your own bare legs, that you had tucked up underneath you in your little corner of the couch. 

“And if he gives you a beer, you won’t make a face?” Jared poked at you with his knee. 

“I resent that implication,” you looked faux-shocked for a moment, making your eyes round and wide, but breaking into a quick smile that crinkled your whole face up like tissue paper. Jensen handed you and Jared each a bottle and thunked himself in the corner of the next couch, the arm he set on the endrest brushing dangerously close to yours. “So, I have to ask, are you in the habit of bringing random strangers back to have a drink with?” 

“We do every now and then,” Jared nodded sagely, as if this was a perfectly understandable and reasonable occurrence, and not your wildest dream come true. 

“Not to sound ungrateful but, why?” You pushed, taking a sip of your beer to cover up your embarrassment. 

“Your question,” Jensen grinned. “I know it wasn’t anything profound but we’ve been doing these things for more than a decade and no one has ever asked us that one before.” 

“We thought the ingenuity should be congratulated,” Jared chimed in. 

“Oh,” you let that bit of information sink in. “Cool.” You took another drink to give your face something to do other than blush with anxiety. 

“Are you a little nervous?” Jared asked kindly, no trace of his earlier teasing left. You nodded, blushing deeper. 

“Don’t be,” Jensen reached forward and patted your forearm bracingly. “Have some more beer, let yourself relax.” You quickly followed his instruction, grateful for the excuse to ingest the liquid courage much more quickly than you had been. Jensen smiled at you, satisfied with your response. 

“So, Y/N, have you come to any conventions before?” Jared asked, drawing your attention back to him. You shook your head. 

“No, this was my first one. I had to live vicariously through the internet, before.” A nervous laugh escaped you as you realised what a fangirl you sounded like. Jared seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. 

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed about watching cons on youtube. You love the show, that’s why you’re here.” Jared’s smile was reassuring and sweet. “We’re fans of the show too, that’s why we do all this stuff. We like being able to share this with people, we like seeing people excited.” 

“It’s incredibly vain really, but someone has to feed his ego. My love isn’t enough anymore,” Jensen mocked, feigning hurt. 

“Hey!” Jared gasped. You and Jensen laughed and you followed his example, taking a further draught from your bottle. 

“Were you planning on going to the concert tonight?” Jensen asked. 

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, much more comfortable discussing your love of music than your love of the two men sitting next to you right now. “I’m probably just as excited for tonight as I was for your panel.” 

“Yeah they put on a good show,” Jensen agreed. “I think Jason’s coming tonight too actually, he texted me earlier he thinks he’ll make it in time.” 

“Sweet, he owes me twenty bucks,” Jared made a small victory fist. The conversation moved around that night’s show, and music more generally, while the three of you made it through your first bottles. Favourite songs were listed, first concerts were recounted, funny memories regaled with smiles. By the end of your bottle you felt more at ease with yourself, letting your body unfold from the slightly defensive position you had been perched in, in the corner of your couch. 

Jared moved to get the next round, dragging a chair behind him on his way back, holding all three beers in his other mammoth hand. You grabbed the bottle he offered you, and your fingers brushed his when he passed it over, sending a burn through your skin that was made all the more jarring by the cold condensation running over the back of your hand. You blushed and glanced down quickly, but then realised how incriminating that looked, and so shifted your eyes back to Jared, pretending there was no reason for you to have broken eye contact. You noticed that Jared’s eyes flicked down to his fingers, and then to yours, for just a moment, before he shook the expression of contemplation from his face so quickly you thought you might have invented it. 

“Is there any particular reason you sit like that?” You had asked the question before you gave yourself a chance to check if you would sound stupid or not, nodding to how Jared had sat with his chair facing backwards, like he had earlier on stage. 

“No,” Jared shook his head, not giving any indication that he thought you were weird or stupid for asking, and you relaxed again. “I used to get in trouble for sitting like this in school, so I think I do it a load now because no one can tell me not to,” he laughed. 

“I just noticed Sam sits that way a lot,” you explained. “I guess I wondered if it was something you did because of Sam of if it was the other way around.” 

“Yeah, no that’s me,” Jared laughed. “We definitely bleed into Sam and Dean more than we realise sometimes. I never even noticed that one before.” 

“Just don’t start overthinking it every time Sam sits down from now on,” Jensen laughed. 

“I won’t be thinking any harder than you. You still have to concentrate on not sitting on Misha’s lap every take.” You actually choked on your drink a little. Jensen leaned forward and thumped you on the back. 

“Jesus Jared, don’t kill her.” You gave Jensen a small thumbs up to indicate you were fine while you continued trying to catch your breath. “He was joking, by the way,” Jensen looked at you seriously, urging you not to misinterpret the situation. “Misha sits on my lap.” 

You narrowly avoided choking on your drink a second time as you burst out laughing. “I am genuinely amazed people get any work done around you two.” 

“Us too, believe me,” Jensen laughed easily. 

“What do you do for work, Y/N?” Jared asked with genuine curiosity, taking another swig of beer. 

“Oh, I don’t right now, I’m in college. That’s why I could come to the convention at all, you guys never came near my hometown, but my college was actually close enough to manage it.” 

“What’s your major?” Jared pressed for more information. You couldn’t fathom the attentive interest shining from his face. 

“I, haven’t actually declared one yet,” you admitted. “I’m chronically indecisive.” 

“Yeah you really must be if you still don’t have a major this late in the game. I didn’t think they let you past junior year without picking one,” Jared bemused. 

“Dude,” Jensen looked at Jared in something between exasperation and abject horror, “I think she might not be as old as we thought she was.” Jensen dragged his beer free hand across his face, pushing his fingers into his eye sockets in a pretty good imitation of Dean’s ‘frustration and despair’ face.  

“Um, I’m a sophomore…” you interjected sheepishly, ashamed that you had been found out. You had admonished yourself in the back of your mind when you had first been tossed the Smirnoff Ice. It was stupid to drink illegally in front of a load of celebrities. Not that you hadn’t drunk plenty before but it was just usually at parties filled with loads of other underage students. Here, you were alone. 

“You’re a sophomore?” Jared asked slowly, cautiously. You nodded, grimacing at your own idiocy. “Which means you’re only…” Jared left his question hanging. 

“Nineteen,” you admitted, curling back into yourself, getting ready for the outburst that must be close to the surface. 

“Jesus Christ,” Jensen’s voice sounded like a hiss, but it was underpinned by something deep, something hungry. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, mortified. The bottle in your hand suddenly felt like it weighed as much as your school bookbag, and you hurriedly looked for a place to set it, settling on the floor. “I should probably go…” You scrambled off the couch, tears blooming behind your lashes as you looked around for your bag and avoided looking anywhere near Jared or Jensen. 

“Sit your ass back down,” Jensen barked without looking up from the hand still plastered over his face. Stunned, you sat back down immediately, now risking a glance at Jensen. 

“You’re not in trouble,” Jared piped up, drawing your gaze. 

“Yeah but we so are,” Jensen groaned, finally pulling his head away from his hand to look at Jared with eyes that seemed to convey a message only Jared was meant to understand. 

“Yeah, no kidding,” Jared agreed, downing the rest of his drink and swinging off his chair to grab another. Jensen followed suit and drained the last of his beer, accepting a new drink from Jared, a glass of whiskey this time. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said again, forcing the words past the catch in your throat. “This was really stupid of me, I should have said something when you offered me a drink-” Your apology rant was interupted by Jared’s bark of laughter as he sat himself back on the couch next to you, considerably closer than he had been previously. 

“Y/N, we’re not mad at you,” Jared leant forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs, and swirling his drink thoughtfully. “And we’re not worried about giving drinks to someone underage.” That bit of information shocked you out of your panic a little bit. You had figured that was the reason your age had disconcerted them, why else would it? 

“You’re not concerned that I essentially just tricked you both into breaking the law?”

“Y/N, come on,” Jensen scoffed, but good naturedly. “How many times do you think we got wasted before we were 21? It’s what kids do.” He gave you a half smile that only barely covered the grimace in his eyes.

“Well, I’m still sorry I lied,” you said. “I never wanted to get you in trouble.” 

“The beer is not what’s gonna get us into trouble,” Jensen’s smile fought harder this time, and you could see it beat out whatever it was inside him that was making him so uncomfortable. This was the sign Jared had been waiting for, his permission from Jensen to keep going with what they had planned before your age had derailed them a moment. “It’s more the fact that we’re really feeling like old pervs right now.” A twinkle of mischief made its way back to his eyes as he gave Jared a wry smile. 

“Why…” You were entirely confused by Jensen’s comment. No matter how hard your brain tried it could not identify the connection between your previous conversation and why Jensen was now calling himself and Jared ‘old pervs’. Or why he was calling himself that at all. 

“Y/N,” Jared said your name cautiously, savouring its syllables on his tongue as he slowly reached a hand over to your knee. “We didn’t just bring you back here because of your question.”

Jared’s fingers might as well have had live wires hooked up to them considering how far the shock radiated through your body when he touched you. They drew your eyes like magnets, and it took immense effort to look back up at Jared and over to Jensen, who had moved as close to you as his couch would allow him. Jensen reached forward and took your hand, squeezing it comfortingly in his bigger one. 

“I’m going to say this very seriously right now, I need you to believe us one hundred percent,” Jensen looked earnestly between you and Jared. “If you don’t want this, that is okay. We are not expecting anything from you, you do not have to do anything, you are more than free to tell us to shove it up our asses and leave you the hell alone.” 

You still had not said a word, frozen in astonishment between Jared and Jensen, who each had a hand on you. That was probably the only reason you hadn’t jumped up from your spot on the couch by now. Grasping for words you settled on Jensen, breathing deeply before you plunged into the deep pool they were pulling you into. 

“Okay, I’m gonna need you to be incredibly clear about what you’re talking about, and then I’m gonna search this room for hidden cameras and the signal for Rich and Rob burst in with the ‘gotcha’ crew.” Jared and Jensen laughed brightly, and Jared patted your knee reassuringly.

“We’re not pranking you, sweetheart.” Jensen’s voice had dropped closer to Dean’s, found some gravel in his throat to drag over. 

“What we’re asking, is if you’d be interested in having a little more fun with us... somewhere a little more private.”Jared’s mouth curled into a wicked smile, and he pulled your arm towards him, pressing a kiss to the inside of your wrist, and pressing his glass of whiskey into your hand. You looked down at your hand questioningly. “You look like you could use that,” Jared nodded to the whiskey. You swallowed hard, then raised the glass to your lips and drained it in three burning gulps. 

“Good girl,” Jared whispered under his breath, more to himself than to anyone else in the room, focusing on the movement of your throat as you downed the liquor. You heard him though. 

Your eyes flicked to his, wide and nervous, but also incredibly turned on. You shook your head to clear it from the warm haze the whiskey had settled in your cheeks to speak the other big concern on your mind. 

“You’re married,” you stated emphatically. “You’re both married. You talk about how much you love your families all the time! I can’t- I couldn’t…” 

“Yes!” Jensen did a small fist bump with his whispered acclamation. 

“What?” You were so beyond confused at this point it was ridiculous. 

“That was the last test,” Jensen admitted. “If you didn’t say anything about being concerned for our moral and our families we’d have to back out.” 

“That one is Gen and Dany’s rule,” Jared clarified. 

“Wait, they sanction this?” You took a second to evaluate if you thought they were lying then lit on another part of what Jensen had said. “What do you mean ‘last test’, there were tests?” 

“Yeah if Jared picks someone out then we usually ease into it to see if whoever it is seems like they would be into what we want. We weren’t lying to you before, your question was awesome, that was one of the reasons Jared wanted to throw a test at you to check.” 

“And I passed this test?” 

“With flying colours sweetheart,” Jensen grinned. 

“What was it?”

“The Smirnoff Ice,” Jared laughed. “We iced you to see if you would play along with our bullshit or if you would wind up backing out, that’s why I made sure I told you you didn’t have to drink it, you had an out if you wanted it.” 

“But what sealed it was how you dropped to your knees like that,” Jensen cut in, his gaze claiming yours and holding you there. “That’s what we’re looking for in this. Someone who’s up for being a submissive for us.” 

“And we know that’s kind of out there for most people so if that freaks you out or it’s not your thing that’s totally okay,” Jared rushed to cut in, once again making sure you had an out if you wanted it. You were pretty sure you didn’t want one but there was still a crucial hang up that they hadn’t actually answered yet. 

“Okay but, I’m still confused. Genevieve and Daneel are just cool with you guys picking up random girls for one night scenes?” You cringed internally, hoping you were using that word correctly, this wasn’t exactly territory you had experience in, outside of the internet. 

“Yeah they are,” they boys nodded. “And since you seem genuinely concerned that we’re stepping out on them, we have… where’s your phone Jared?” Jensen popped up off his couch and went to grab Jared’s phone off the table holding the cooler, where he had left it earlier, refreshing his whiskey while he was there. 

“Here,” Jared offered you his phone after he pulled something up on its screen. Jensen didn’t settle back on his couch but perched himself on the arm of yours, resting a hand on your shoulder as you pushed the solitary play icon on the black screen. 

“Hi!” Two chipper voices rang out in unison and the screen filled with an image of Jared and Jensen’s wives, sat at what looked like Jensen’s kitchen counter (it wasn’t creepy that you knew that, you told yourself, he’s the one who did the AD interview). 

“We hope you’ve been having a good day and the boys haven’t been giving you too hard a time!” Gen said. 

“We know what a pain they can be,” Daneel mock whispered before taking a sip of wine. “So, yay you, if you’re seeing this then they obviously think you’re something pretty special. You don’t have to feel bad, this is all totally okay with us-”

“Yup, everything is totally in the open, they’re not trying to trick you or us,” Gen assured you through the phone screen. 

“This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other either, so don’t worry about any of that.” Daneel’s smile was incredibly sincere and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding. “The thing is, me and Gen, we’ve all talked about this but neither of us is the threesome type.”

“And that was the one thing the guys wanted that we really weren’t up for,” Gen put in. “So we came up with this deal for them, they can have fun with a few people out on the road for conventions and stuff if they make sure to be careful, not pick up a lunatic, and always always make sure that whoever they pick up is gonna keep this to themselves.”

“For obvious reasons,” Daneel laughed. “So, if they’re letting you in on this little secret you’ve passed all the tests!”

“So stop worrying, and go have fun, sweetie,” Gen grinned. 

“Bye!” They waved in unison and the screen went black. 

“Any questions?” Jared asked gently. 

“I mean, in general, a million,” you laughed. “But I guess the big question would be how do you want this to work? Like, what exactly do you want from me?” 

“So you’re saying yes?” Jensen asked. 

“I think I am, yeah. But, seriously, what do you want?”

“Are you comfortable having a threesome?” Jared asked, in a manner that would have been appropriate if he was asking what pizza toppings you preferred. Your heart basically stopped at the image that produced in your head. Your body between theirs, their hands on your skin...

“Yes,” you nod. 

“Are you comfortable being submissive to us?” Jensen asked. 

“Yes… sir?” You threw the title out there on a whim, wondering if that was Jensen’s style. 

“You’ve never done this kind of thing before, have you?” Jensen grinned. 

“Which part? The threesome or the dom/sub stuff?” 

“Well I’m assuming, neither, based on your answers” Jared chuckled, and brushed the backs of his fingers up your thigh. 

“Yeah I- I haven’t,” you blushed and cleared your throat. “I haven’t done any of this before.” 

“That’s okay,” Jared’s voice was pitched barely above a whisper. “We kind of like that,” his eyes glinted, darting up to Jensen in a brief look of victory. 

“You know how to pick ‘em, Jared,” Jensen smiled, brushing your hair back over your shoulder and leaning down to touch his lips to the skin he uncovered. 

“This is really happening?” You breathed. 

“That finally our yes?” Jared asked, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear, pulling a shiver from your spine. 

“There’s one more thing I should tell you,” you yanked yourself back into your head, steadying yourself with a final breath before you chance smashing the glass on this illusion. Jared and Jensen backed off slightly to give you space. “When I said I’d never done anything like this I meant it.” You gave them a moment to absorb that but saw they hadn’t quite made the connection. “Like, anything,” you emphasised.

You saw their understanding slam into place.

Tags: @babypieandwhiskey @samsgirl93

Broke - J2 x reader

You sighed before you planted the fake smile across your face and left your wardrobe. It was the second day of the convention and your first public appearance after playing the role of Y/S/N Winchester for a few years already. You were scared to say at least and didn't want to go on stage. So far you had always been able to schedule things so you didn't have time for conventions, but this time that wasn't an option, plus you suspected that Jared and Jensen slowly because aware of you skipping the public appearances, so you had to do this. "Hey Y/N!", Mark (Sheppard) greeted you smiling and you awkwardly waved to him before hugging him. 

"It'll be fun! They're gonna love you, just like Moose, Squirrel and all the others.", he continued while walking towards the stage entrance with you where the named two and Misha already waited. "Now now, look who I found.", Mark grinned and lightly pushed you towards the group of males standing right in front of the stairs up to stage. "Ready sweetheart?", Jared asked seeing you nervously pulling on your sleeves. You bit your lip and nodded taking another deep breath. "We'll be right by your side.", Jensen joined in and Misha squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. You followed them on stage with a big fake smile plastered on your face. By now it was perfect and no one questioned your mood. The light of the spotlights warmed the stage and you soon pulled your sleeves a bit up before remembering the scars and pulling them down again. "Y/N? Did you listen?", Jensen asked with a chuckle and your eyes snapped up to him. "What? No, Uhm sorry, I was in my thoughts.", you laughed brightly noticing the worried looks of your three coworkers. "What was the question J?", you tilted your head and grinned knowing that the crowd liked it when you called him with that nickname. "What it's like working with us three for you.", Jared jumped in and rolled his eyes at you jokingly. "Oh, it's pure hell! They are like 3 year olds!", you laughed and blew each of them a kiss. "Just a little joke, I love working with them, they are kind and encouraging and whenever I'm nervous before a scene they tell me it's okay and mess their part up intentionally so I relax.", you explained and the guys laughed. "Damn it Sammy, she knows our trick!", Jensen laughed and the whole crowd cheered. "You're not as sneaky as you think.", you giggled and stuck your tongue out. "Oh you love us! We are super sneaky!", Misha joined just before the panel was announced to be over. Now there would only be a few Autogramm sessions and then you could get back to your room. The Autogramm session was without any problems, but your hand hurt after that as it was the first time for that as well. A few people told you how much they admired you and you just always thanked them with a smile before moving on to the next. About an hour later you finally were in your room and alone again. With a heavy sigh you let yourself fall on your king sized bed and closed your eyes. Although it was only 7 pm you decided to change into something more comfortable. A pair of sweatpants and a tank top from one of Brianna's campaigns were your go to outfit and you added a cardigan as well to not see your arms. As soon as you sat on your bed again you heard a knock on the hotel room door. "Oh seriously?", you groaned expecting it to either be a fan or your manager, but neither was correct, rather it was Jared, Jensen and Misha standing in front of the door. You tilted your head and frowned. "Hey Guys?", you greeted questioning as they pushed past you into your room. "Told you it's be super clean!", Misha exclaimed and opened your wardrobe to reveal all your clothes neatly folded or hung. "Misha! Leave her wardrobe, okay? I don't wanna see my little sisters underwear!", Jensen shouted and dramatically held his eyes close. With a frown you pulled your cardigan closer and watched them. "W-what? What's going on?", you asked confused. "We wanted to get you for dinner and on our way here we wondered whether your room was rather clean or messy like Misha's, but now we know it.", Jared finally explained the situation and you nodded. "So N/N, get dressed and well head for dinner!", Jensen told you and you sighed. "I... actually just ordered room service.", you lied not wanting to go out. "Oh? In that case we'll get into something more comfortable and join you here, okay? We need to celebrate your awesome first convention!", Misha spoke and already left the room again followed by Jensen an Jared who looked at you apologizing for him, but by now you got used to them. "We'll be right back!", they spoke before closing the door and you felt tears rise in your eyes. Why did they have to be so dang nice? Quickly ordering something from the kitchen for you and them you prepared your room, placed the table close to the bed so you could eat but sit on the bed. You even switched on the tv and we're looking for something interesting when the first knock was audible. After brushing your tears away quickly you opened with a smile. "Hey Jared, come in.", you spoke and opened the door wide so he could step in. "Look what's on Tv there.", he laughed seeing yours and his face on screen. "Oh, Supernatural. That was not intentionally.", you giggled receiving a squeeze from the tall man. "Hey don't worry, we all watch it.", he winked and you looked at him confused. "Really?", you asked and smiled. "Yes darling. Now, I better order something for me and the others.", he grinned. "Don't worry, i already did.", you replied before feeling the tears come up yet again although there wasn't even a reason. "Look, I'll go to the bathroom quickly, can you open for Jensen and Misha when they're here?", you asked him looking to the ground and left before he could answer. Immediately you locked the door and slid down crying quietly. You used to push people away whenever you felt bad. Never spent time with the guys although they invited you to hang out with them and get to know them. Whenever you felt bad and down you hid in your room or flat doing nothing but crying. "Y/N? Are you okay?", Jensen asked through the door and you jumped a little. "Yes yes!", you mumbled and got up splashing a little water in your face to clean off the signs of crying before you opened the door facing the two. "Where's Misha?", you asked and tilted your head. "He was interrupted by Rick, so he'll join uns later or the latest tomorrow.", Jensen explained and smiled widely. "So you'll have to deal with your brothers all evening.", he added with a wink and you rolled your eyes. "Think I can handle that.", you nodded and walked towards the bed letting yourself fall on it yet again, but this time with Jared and Jensen following soon after. "You know Y/N, this is the first time you're hanging around with us outside of work.", Jared spoke quietly and turned around to look at you. "Mhm...", you just hummed hoping they'd change the topic. "Why it that? We aren't overwhelming you right?", Jared asked quietly and you shook your head. "No no, don't worry about that okay? You two are wonderful, it's just me.", you sighed and tried to find out for yourself how you wanted to tell them. "Just You? What do you mean?", Jensen frowned and placed his hand on your back showing his support. "I... I have to tell you something... I mean we're gonna work together for longer... and you deserve to know it.", you spoke and sat up slowly looking at them. After you've taken a deep breath and nodded to yourself you started to tell them what was up. "Well... for a... for a few years I've been pretty depressed and... and... and I've been maybe causing the makeup department more work.", you mumbled getting more and more quiet as the tears rose into your eyes again. "What do you mean sweetheart?", Jared quietly asked worried and as an answer you pulled your sleeves up revealing scars and a few fresh cuts, a few of them pretty deep. "Oh Y/N, why would you do that?", Jensen mumbled a tear rolling down his cheek. "I... I don't know.", you sniffled and felt their arms around you. "We're here okay? We won't leave you, never.", Jared added and kissed your forehead.

Hunger: Two

PAIRING: Jared x Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,801

CHAPTER(S): 2/?

SUMMARY: When reader isn’t attending a Supernatural Convention, she’s preparing for the next one. Staying busy is the only thing that keeps her sane. While it’s difficult for some people to understand her motives, one person will show her that he knows exactly what she’s going through. Will Jared be able to make the reader believe she deserves to be loved or is she too far gone already?

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Anxious Reader, Touch Aversion, Inner Mean Girl

In through your nose...out through your mouth. 

A skin-numbing tingle spread through your limbs, your mind swimming with the implications of Jared’s request as you shuffled down the hallway stretching through the quiet hotel. New knots twisted themselves into a worrisome frenzy the closer you came to the large theater room where autographs were scheduled to take place. Your hands trembled just slightly. Clenching your cold fingers into fists and with the aid of several more deep breaths you found yourself pushing through the anxiety threatening to debilitate you. 

Familiar black curtains were erected in each of the four corners of the ballroom. Low-hanging chandeliers cast a warm glow over each station. You knew Jared sat behind one of those panels. You knew you’d have to join him - acting as if everything was normal. As if you did this all the time. 

But then again, maybe you were overthinking the situation. It's not like he'd confessed his undying love for you. Maybe he just appreciated that you were a hard worker? His compliment from the previous day floated back through your subconscious and your cheeks flushed with a sudden warmth.

Steeling your nerves, you quietly slipped through the crowds of people all chatting amongst themselves, their faces lit with excitement as they waited for their time in front of the guests.

With a final deep breath, straightening your posture to appear as tall and confident as possible, you proceeded to walk through the last few bodies as you approached Clif, knowing well enough that if he was around, Jared and Jensen weren’t far away. 

As luck would have it, you had chosen the correct table and the smile you plastered across your face was mostly genuine as Jared came into view. 

He’d begun signing moments before; a young girl with wide eyes clutching a cardboard poster tube with white knuckles-stood before him, her breathing quick and shallow.

Looking up from where he’d scribbled his signature in the lower left of the glossy print on the table, he’d started to slide the picture back across to her when he paused, bending over the print of the impala before furiously scribbling a message that personalized his signature. A breathless nod of thanks was uttered as the girls’ eyes shone with unshed tears. You could see how hard she was trying to hold back her emotions as she slipped away.

“[Y/F/N]! Standing suddenly, the giant man skirted the table and wrapped his arms around you. Instantly, you froze. Eyes wide, back stiff, your haphazard pat to the back didn’t go unnoticed and Jared pulled away suddenly, realizing how uncomfortable you obviously were. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry - I was just happy to see you.” Hurriedly you waved off the unease you’d felt. Sure, it was Jared Padalecki that had just crushed you against his very solid chest, but it had still been unexpected and you’d yet to find a way to convince yourself that hugs were okay. 

Truth was, you craved them. You needed to be touched almost as much as you needed to eat, or sleep. It’d been so long since you’d experienced any kind of real affection however, and you weren’t sure how to react. 

To most people, a simple hug was nothing...merely a greeting perhaps. But your conscience went into overdrive at a moments’ notice. How long were you supposed to hold on? Was this a genuine hug or simply an awkward, superficial gesture of a typical human hello? Your reaction was always delayed, and most people would’ve stepped back and moved on to conversation by the time you’d had the opportunity to return the embrace. What you wouldn’t give to have someone really hold you. To take a full minute and just envelope you in a blanket of comfort. No agenda, no awkwardness - just comfort. As you began to focus, you noticed Jared had returned to his seat, the next few people in line curiously looking between you and him - likely trying to figure out if there was some new story worthy of a late-night Twitter discussion. 

“Be normal. Just move to your chair and smile. Just smile. Smiling is what they expect. Ask how they’re doing. This is fine.” The narration played in a loop through your mind as you quietly took your seat. Turning to the next person in line, you forced yourself to do just that, the more agreeable expression replacing the lost look of moments before. 

“Hi!” Reaching forward, you carefully took an electric guitar from a middle-aged blonde that stood before you. Gingerly, you set it on the deep red linens covering the table and handed Jared a gold sharpie, captivated as the metallic ink flowed over the polished black body of the instrument. Taking a moment to admire the other signatures she’d collected, Jared spoke for a few moments about how it was a really neat item to have signed, asking the woman why she’d picked a guitar. While you’d never worked with or near anyone of even remote celebrity status, you were pleased with how engaged Jared was with his fans. He seemed to genuinely care about the people patiently waiting to speak with him and, for a moment you forgot that he was an actor. Thinking, you realized you’d like to know what he was like everyday. There were stories on the internet about his generosity and seemingly real interest in the people who looked up to him. But to witness it in person was a completely different thing. 

The following two hours passed in a similar fashion. At one point, you took a moment to look around the edge of the draped wall. A lot of people still waited in line, their expressions varying from excitement to exhaustion and everything in-between. What surprised you most however, was that Jared was the last guest still in the room. Volunteers were chatting with each other as curtains were folded and stacked in totes and the frames surrounding the folding tables were disassembled. Jensen and Misha must’ve been long gone.

Eventually, Jared came to his last autograph of the evening. 

“Hey there, thank you so much for waiting this long for me!” As tired as he had to be, Jared didn’t even think about letting his exhaustion show. Speaking the longest to this particular young man seemed important. Technically, as his handler it was your job to move things along as efficiently as possible, but it was the end of the night. You were tired, no one was waiting and this interaction seemed to be a once-in-a-lifetime event for most people. Who were you to rush it? 

A short time later, you rose from your seat, fully intending on calling it a night. While it hadn’t seemed much like a fourteen-hour day, your body was sternly reminding you that you were, in fact, no longer a teenager that could run on two hours of sleep.

Stacking the cold plastic chair atop the others lined against one wall, you turned to head for the doors, removing the thin black lanyard from around your neck. You wanted nothing more than to blend back into the crowd, to become just another person, to not explain that the bathroom was, in fact, twenty feet back in the opposite direction for the five hundredth time.

Just as you reached for the lock-bar stretching across the double wooden doors of the theater, you turned to find Jared saying his own goodbyes to the crew. 

“Hey, [Y/F/N], wait up!”

Had it been -anyone else- you might’ve pretended you couldn’t hear them. Ignoring Jared wasn’t an option however. You’d never forgive yourself. So, instead of pretending, you turned to see the man literally jogging up to you. “How did he have so much energy after such a long day?” Briefly wondering, you realized you could actually ask him that very question. 

“Ha, uh..I dunno. Guess I’m still running on adrenaline?” 

“Ahunh, well, you’ll hafta tell me how you do that sometime.” A tired smirk accompanied your reply and you realized that you’d missed what he’d said afterwards.

“What was that?” “Sorry, guess I’m a little slow tonight.” Nervous laughter took the edge off of your words.

“I asked if you wanted to maybe get a drink?” 

“Mr. Padalecki, you realize it’s like..oh.” Pulling the phone from your pocket to check the time, you had the decency to blush when you realized it was still fairly early.

“What?” Wow, his smile really was infectious. “Crap, stop staring [Y/F/N], focus!” Clearing your throat, you took a moment to gather some sort of order to your scattered thoughts.

“I was gonna scold you for wanting to go out so late..but then I realized it’s only nine o’clock.” 

“Sooo…?” It was then that you were made blatantly aware of why the Supernatural Family referred to him as an overgrown puppy. 

How often would this situation come up? After this weekend, you’d go back to your normal nine to five in your hometown. Back to the office. Back to traffic. Back to complacency.

“Uh, sure. I guess one drink can’t hurt.” Grinning, you pushed your weight against the door leading into the corridor connecting the theater to the green room. Grabbing your bag from the carpet next to one of the overstuffed armchairs, you promised to meet Jared back here after changing into something a little less work and a little more appropriate for a night out.

“I look forward to it, [Y/F/N] - meet me here in..say...thirty?” Glancing at his watch, the man sank into the deep blue cushions of a long couch, slouching and raising his feet to rest upon the solid wood coffee table arranged in front of it. With another wide smile, he pulled his phone from his pocket, quickly becoming lost in what you assumed to be his social media feed as you made a hasty retreat to your room, not realizing just how much everything was about to change.

As you stepped from the elevator, after casting a cursory glance over both shoulders to make sure no one was around, the sprint to your room at the end of the hall left you breathless with excitement. 

Checking the time and setting yourself an alarm, you quickly began to rummage through the mess of a suitcase that sat haphazardly at the end of your bed. Today was the last day of the convention and you'd had no plans on doing anything remotely exciting, least of all spending the night having drinks with Jared Padalecki.

Throwing off the stiff, black t-shirt you'd worn all day, you stood there in little more than your underwear, trying to decide what to wear. 

The fifteen-minute warning sounded from your phone and panic tried to set in. Muttering to yourself, you hastily grabbed an oversized, cream-colored, off-shoulder sweater and a pair of black leggings. There was no time for anything fancy and this wasn't a date. For some reason you had to keep reminding yourself of that little detail. 

Freshening up your smeared eyeliner and swiping on some new deodorant was the best you could do as the five-minute warning sounded.

This time, you couldn't care less if people saw you sprinting through the halls of the hotel - you weren't about to make Jared wait.

With ten seconds to spare, you arrived back at the green room, taking a moment to collect your senses before calmly pushing open the door to where Jared sat waiting.

Looking up from his phone at the sound of the metal latch clicking open, Jared could only smile. [Y/F/N] looked beautiful. The stretchy black material of her leggings clung to every curve of her hips; small triangles of mesh strategically lining the length of the pants hinted at the beauty lying hidden beneath. [Y/F/N]’s hair framed her face perfectly; the fluffy sweater she'd chosen artfully draped across her bare shoulders was meant to be comforting, he was willing to bet. He was intimately familiar with anxiety, seeking comfort from inanimate objects helped ground him when he was struggling too.

He wanted to tell her she was beautiful. He wanted to show her she was beautiful. But instead, he smiled, hoping she'd realize how genuine it was.

“Hey, [Y/F/N].” His voice was soft in its greeting. “Ready for that drink?”

With a deep breath, you nodded, a bright smile lighting up your [Y/E/C] eyes.

Watching Jared haul himself up from the low couch would have been amusing if he weren't so graceful. But, he pulled it off with an elegance you weren't used to seeing in most men.

The hotel bar was bustling with groups of people winding down from a busy weekend. How the two of you managed to snag a booth in the back corner was a bit of a mystery, though you weren't about to question his methods. Approaching the dimly lit table, you felt Jared slow, stepping aside and gesturing for you to go ahead. Silently grateful, you slid into the wide cushioned bench, instantly more comfortable with your back pressed to the wall. 

Flicking his eyes between the open seat next to you and the one across the table, he carefully slid his large frame into the opposite seat. Glancing back over his shoulder, he took a deep breath before turning to face you; his broad shoulders angling to slot themselves into the very corner of his booth.

An hour into the night, you were finally beginning to relax. The double whiskey you sipped likely helping you feel more comfortable, though it too, could have just been Jared. He didn't seem to have an agenda, and he listened to you with as much focus as he gave anyone else. The conversation flowed easily and you sat perched on the edge of your seat, enraptured with one of his stories from set. 

Once again, you noticed him glancing around the room before trying to sit deeper into the corner of his seat. Twenty minutes prior, he'd turned, reclining his legs in front of him on the bench, twisting his upper body to still face you. 

Scrunching your face into a concerned arrangement of apprehension, the mean-girl living in the recesses of your mind sprang to life. “He just feels sorry for you, why else would he have asked you to drinks? He's way out of your league, just look, he's clearly not having a very good time…”

Clearing your throat, you spoke up, surprised at how even your tone was despite the disappointment and embarrassment you felt. 

“Hey, Jared. Are you okay? I mean, you really don't have to hang out with me...you just..I mean..you seem pretty uncomfortable.”

His gaze landed back on you and his heart ached at the thought that you thought he pitied you. 

“Wha-? No! I…” 

Leaning forward he reached out with one hand, intent on grasping the fingers of your hand that wasn't cradling your glass tumbler. At the last moment, he hesitated, pulling back to put his hand in his lap. Looking down at where he fidgeted with a loose string on his shirt, you marvelled at his beautiful coppery hair as it fell around his face. 

“Heh, you're probably going to think I'm silly, it's just…”

Another deep breath escaped with a huff before he glanced back up to meet your concerned face.

“I'm really anxious about sitting with my back to people.” The words came out in a rush, and he was back to looking everywhere but at you, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he struggled to maintain his composure.

You sat there for a minute, stunned by his confession. You knew he struggled with his own inner demons, but to see him fully able to tell you about his discomfort with a situation when he barely knew you was kind of inspiring. If Jared Padalecki could talk (mostly) confidently about his struggles, maybe you could too.

For a moment, you considered what to say next. While your mind still weighed your options, your mouth clearly had other ideas and you were surprised as the words tumbled forth, “you could come sit on this side with me..uh..if you want.”

“Shit. Uh. Well, guess that’s out there. Be cool. It’s fine if he says no. Just breathe…”

Letting out a slow breath, you put your smile back on and hoped it reached your eyes. 

Jared was surprised. “Oh. Uh, are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I think I’ve done that enough for one day, ha..” Fidgeting, he clapped a large hand to the back of his neck, his gaze averted as he remembered quite nearly knocking you over in his exuberance earlier.

Were you sure? Yes. Yes, you were sure. 

“Yes.” That same smile still in place, you patted the seat next to you and watched as the man slid across the seat, rose and cautiously lowered himself into the space next to you. Not realizing the breath you held until your lungs started to scream for air, inch by inch you relaxed. The scent of vanilla and sandalwood settled over you as Jared got comfortable, one knee pressing against your left thigh. A light twist of summery pineapple and pear rounded out what would become a very intoxicating scent. 

Turning to lean against the corner of the booth, you were careful to maintain the light touch between your bodies - this time, the smile on your face - though hesitant - was one-hundred percent real.

As the clock approached midnight, you began to dread the end of your conversation. Nothing could last forever, and this had been one of the best nights you’d had in a very long time. Trying your best to stifle a yawn - and failing miserably, you might add - Jared chuckled under his breath “I guess I should let you get to sleep, don’t want you turning into a pumpkin.”

“Aha, yes, very funny Mr. Padaleski.” Jared rolled his eyes when you drug the syllables of his incorrectly-pronounced name out in jest. “Just because I like pumpkin flavored liqueur, doesn’t mean I’m gonna turn into one!”

“At any rate, I should get going anyhow. My plane leaves in a few hours and I’ve gotta be ready to start filming very shortly afterwards.” The exhaustion was evident in his features, but his tired smile was comforting, nonetheless. 

When he made no move to let you out of the booth, you almost didn’t say anything. But, he was right. Besides, who were you to keep him here? He’d already lost out on a full nights’ sleep because of you.

“Here, let me walk you back to your room?” Sliding from his side of the booth, he turned and reached a hand out to help you. There was no hesitation when you grasped his warm fingers and allowed him to pull you from your seat. 

“You really don’t have to walk me back, I’m sure you’ve much better things to do - like sleep?” 

“Well, maybe I want to walk you back." Hurriedly, he added “If you want... besides, I can sleep when I’m dead.” A quiet huff of laughter softened the statement. Relenting, you fell into step next to the taller man as the last minutes of your night out ticked away. 

Too soon you stood in front of the door to your hotel room. In a few minutes, you’d have to say goodbye - unlikely to ever have this moment again. Sure, Jared had asked specifically for you to be his assigned handler for conventions, but Adam hadn’t officially offered you the position. You had a lot to think about. While the answer seemed easy enough, it would likely be anything but. You were a creature of habit, often shying away from change and the unknown. 

“So..I guess this is goodnight...goodbye even.” Jared’s words trailed off and you picked up on the distinct impression that he wanted to say something else. 

“So, rather than tackling you head-on, I’d very much like a hug goodnight. Would that be okay?” 

Jared’s eyes widened in surprise, but rather than answering, he simply opened his arms - allowing you to come to him.

Reminding yourself to breathe, you stepped forward into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his waist and turning your head to press your ear to his chest. The warmth of his scent washed over you as he held you to him, his chin resting atop your head. The sure, thick, beating of his heart had just started to help loosen the tension singing through your veins when your brain started screaming at you to back away. “That’s enough [Y/F/N], let the poor guy go! Why are you still hugging him?!”

Hurriedly, you removed your arms, intent on listening to that voice and stepping back from Jared. Intent on escaping through the thick barrier of a door and back into the comfort of your own world. With a resigned sigh, he loosened his grip and let you go. Instantly, your body temperature seemed to drop, even though it certainly wasn’t cold in the hallway where the two of you stood. 

“Well...goodnight [Y/F/N], I had an amazing time and I hope you have a wonderful night. Sleep well..” With a final flash of his bright smile, Jared turned, his long legs carrying him down the hallway and to the elevator. 

Disappearing behind the heavy door of your hotel, you slumped against the wood - sliding down to rest on the floor and allow yourself to breathe again. A flood of emotions from the previous several hours assaulted you all at once. 

Wrapping arms around your knees, forehead resting against your chilled skin, a heavy sigh slid between your lips as you began to decompress.

The quiet sound of knuckles against the door behind you went unnoticed at first. Only when the sound became more insistent did you get to your feet. Bracing yourself against the door and peering through the peep-hole you couldn’t see anything. Turning the brushed-nickel handle as quietly as possible, you pulled open the door to see Jared sauntering away from you. 

“Jared?!” Your tone might have been incredulous but you were in disbelief that he’d come back. Slowing, the man turned to face you, hesitating before his approach. 

When he had reached your side, one hand slid back into his hair as he nervously avoided looking directly at you. Crossing your arms over your chest, you waited, expectant. 

“Hey, uh, sorry to bother you.” “I was wondering…-reaching into his pocket, he pulled an iPhone out and handed it to you - a shy smile hesitant on his face.

“...would you maybe...want to exchange phone numbers?” 

CHAPTER THREE

TAGS: @jaredsunflowergoddess @jamielea81 @wings-of-a-raven @arses21434