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who-the-fuck-knows-blog · 8 months

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thinking about ed’s “apology” being a series of minimizations — “perhaps some of my actions, maybe all of my actions, maybe me, myself, maybe I, me made some of you feel somewhat — whatever that nasty, dark stuff was that brought us here, it’s in the past. all i wanted to say at the end of the day is that we’re trying to move the culture forward”

how haltingly he admits to the blame, how he still moves the blame onto “dark nasty stuff” that “brought us here” instead of “my actions. what i did” and then immediately moving onto “it’s about just moving on and not thinking about it anymore” essentially.

thinking about how ed could say “hello Mr. Latch, it’s not your fault you’re broken, no. you didn’t break you. you were just trying to do your job, weren’t you?” to a door but cant say it to izzy. ed “i didn’t apologize for jack shit” teach, izzy already rewriting his trauma to excuse ed and place blame onto himself. Ed, going around to fang and allowing lucius to push him off the ship. he tried to make up with lucius and fang (who had already forgiven him) but noticeably hasnt been alone w izzy

thinking about ed saying “let’s move past it into the future” and izzy later saying “not moving on is worse” instead of/than acknowledging the actual trauma. idk idk

i dunno why i keep thinking about these scenes together. I think it has to do with the repeated word, but could be about how Izzy is blaming himself for his actions and Ed is being very gentle and understanding to a door latch he’s fixing, and not the man who he shot.

(ultimately, i do think he’s working on it, he’s getting there. but he isn’t there yet. it’s still early days, though.)

#ofmd s2 #izzy hands #nervous about posting this #i’ll clear it up here: i don’t think izzy is broken for having a disability #it could be about anything #heartbreak #trauma #i also think the mr latch bit could be much more easily interpreted #as ed talking about his brain or something #i’m too paranoid to put this in the ed tag #treesofgreen encouraged me to post this but i am worried to @ anyone so if you see this thanks!#i hope this lives up to expectations #its more a train of thought #also i love ed dearly and his apology scene was incredible #im not ed bashing im ed observing

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archersxartxblog · 9 months

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Day 2: Bug catching

#sbmstember #my art #submas #From Hisui to Unova #subway boss emmet #subway boss ingo #caleb (oc)#Day 2 #hate going background #nervous about posting this

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cinnamonnt · 8 months

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This is technically art I did last year, but I figured Tumblr would enjoy Ink and Error having a battle. I did this in acrylic paint and it took one semester to do.

Lemme tell y’all, Ink hogged all the attention because painting him alone took 3 HOURS. Error took like 1 🤣.

Ink Sans belongs to @comyet

Error Sans belongs to @loverofpiggies

#ink sans #error sans #my art #nervous about posting this #hope y’all like it

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abssentvideoss · 5 months

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Just an AU idea where Jon becomes a little creature somewhere else

Meh about this but at least it’s done

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #blood #eye strain #eye contact #my sketchers #lil idea of Jon being a creature struggling to save the world again while looking for Martin #no idea for an AU name #nervous about posting this #not very proud of it aaa #but felt like I should post something Yknow

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the-tired-commander · 8 months

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hey could y'all do me a favour?

Reblog if you're okay with "weird" compliments on your stuff!

things like "biting this" and such

#i hab mental eelness with shrimptoms so i am unreasonably nervous about giving compliments like this #even though i really like saying it and having people say it on my posts jdsfdfs #shaking like a wet chihuahua while i try and say nice things publicly #obviously there is a line with these kinds of things! i fully understand and respect that #i'm just a nervous beast about even starting to approach the line

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inkskinned · 1 year

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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soldierkitten · 1 month

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tilly the god au ep 1 (part 1 of 4 I think)

prev stuff / next stuff

#goodtimeswithscar fanart #goodtimeswithscar #grian fanart #grian #mumbo jumbo fanart #mumbo jumbo #mcyt fanart #mcyt #tilly the god au #fanart #im very nervous about this #I'm impulsively deciding to post this now instead of waiting for the other parts to be done. hopefully I dont regret that :D #my art

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obscurecrows · 21 days

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nightmares

#lets hope people like this one...#im very nervous about posting this. if you cant tell.#dungeon meshi spoilers #falin touden #kabru dungeon meshi #falin dungeon meshi #farcille #laois touden #laios dungeon meshi #thistle dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi

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smallpapers · 1 year

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thank you for loving me

(Edit: now available as a print!)

#the owl house #huntlow #hunter wittebane #willow park #toh hunter #toh spoilers #toh winter #toh willow #toh fanart #the golden guard #myart #hunter x willow #wintery junk #watching and dreaming #Toh s3 spoilers #I feel so nervous about posting this I don’t know why #I put a lot of my heart into this WAD huntlow tribute piece I hope you guys like it

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civetside · 5 months

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TLT game night

#harrowhark nonagesimus #griddlehark #gideon nav #tlt shitposting #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #comic #i am once again just thinking of semi funny dialogue that kinda sounds like them and making a whole ass comic about it #putting them in situations #modern au #long post #needlessly long some may say #every time i post one of these sillay modern AU comics i always get nervous about how detached it is from the source material #OH WELL #i always try to play monopoly on my birthday every year i hope i get friends who will play with me SOON

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hatosaur · 1 year

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ellie, about 10 years down the line

(posted early on patreon!)

#tlou #tlou2 #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #ellie williams #butch #lesbian #dyke #i posted this back when i first started a job and ended up getting so nervous that it was too risquee that i didn't posted for 4 months 💀#more to comeeee (i haven't forgotten about the asks in my inbox abt her)#love this DYKE #my art #nudity #butch ellie

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victarin · 1 year

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part 1/2(?)

oughhughgghgjghghghhg this has just been . Sitting around ….. no guarantee it’ll be finished but i figured i might as well post what i have since the rest of this might be a couple more pages

#so sorry if the handwriting is unreadable #a bit nervous about posting this #(a bit) (very)#(extremely even)#fnaf dca #y/n tag #daycare attendant #fnaf sun #sundrop #my art

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bloobydabloob · 2 months

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Whiteboard Aradia too. Why not

#homestuck #homestuck fanart #aradia megido #hs fanart #Like John EntropicBias said #I always enjoy using the kind of #minimal color scheme on whiteboard.#It forces you to get creative #and the one brush with not many sizes too #I would love to do a whiteboard with some people on here at some point. Same for twitter #I’d be worried about getting nervous though. Haha #blooby posting

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hellspawnmotel · 9 months

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even after settling down, theyre pretty cautious.....

.......it doesnt last long

#princess tutu #princess tutu spoilers #ahiru #fakir #fakiru #art tag #my anime straight couple ever. nobody is doing it like them #anyway i know theres not a lot of reasons to think the 'confessing love = disappearing' rule still applies post-canon #but ahiru being human again necessitates that there are still reality-warping powers at work #and it's because of drosselmeyer that she was ever human in the first place so i can see them being nervous about it #also this is an aside but i picture after fakir writes ahiru back into a girl they kinda have to flee gold crown town #to avoid fakir getting his hands chopped up by cultists and everything yknow #they settle down somewhere else in the german countryside with a little village nearby and have a simple life #ahiru keeps practicing ballet and fakir keeps writing and theyre happy :)

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needle-noggins · 1 year

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(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.

I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!

Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.

So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.

It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.

Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!

Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:

Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.

Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.

The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??

Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!

#trimax #trigunbookclub #cw assault #cw sa #ive never tagged content warnings before please help if i didnt do it well enough #cw sui ideation #vash the stampede #millions knives #also if you say ONE WORD about plancest i will kill you with my mind because you have sorely misunderstood the point here #posting this makes me so nervous ngl #dont hate me

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courfee · 8 months

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a fated threat with fated thread

falling in love during attempted murder - based on this post

#im so nervous about posting this one cause i just care about it a little too much #jegulus #jegulus fanart #marauders fanart #regulus black #james potter #james x regulus #marauders #regulus black fanart #james potter fanart #starchaser #sunseeker #regulus x james #hp #marauders era #mine #my art

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