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kissesforsatoru · 11 months

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GUARDIAN ANGEL | wc: 5k~

GUARDIAN ANGEL!HOBIE BROWN X GN!READER

₊˚⌗ hobie was never supposed to get involved with you, yet you and him became irrevocably tied to one another.

⤷ cw : general yandere themes, soft yandere!hobie, near death experiences, marking (not in the way you guys probably think), jealousy, possessive behavior if you squint, implied power dynamics, pet names (love, sweetheart), horribly written british accent, utterly smitten hobie, softie!reader, reader is smaller than hobie, but angels are big compared to humans so that's why (he’s like 6’5+ and he wears platforms), EVERYTHING ABOUT ANGELS IN THIS FIC IS ENTIRELY MADE UP.

notes : please bear in mind that i don't have a full grasp on hobie yet, so he is probably definitely a bit ooc; i did try my best though!! i’m also planning to put this on ao3 at some point, so if you see it pop up there it’s not plagiarized, it’s just me ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

♫₊˚.🎧 now playing . . . fool for you by noita

it was never supposed to turn out like this. you and him were never supposed to happen.

you were only supposed to be 'just another human' to hobie like the rest of everyone else. he wasn't supposed to get involved or contact you directly; he wasn't supposed to get attached. you weren't supposed to get attached to him either. but you did, and he did too. so much that he’s entirely fucked. there’s no coming back from this for you or him.

it's not like this is any of hobie’s fault though, not when he’s known to not follow the rules and definitely not when you're the most precious human he has ever had the pleasure of being the guardian angel of.

he will admit that at first it was boring to watch you, but then it was fun.

you aren’t anything incredibly special. just a broke college student with very few friends who likes to stay home more than you like to go out. but following you around and laughing his ass off about all of the stupid little things you did when you thought nobody was watching, like talk to yourself or narrate your actions, hobie really enjoyed that. he got a nice kick out of whenever someone would catch you doing one of those things and you’d get all flustered, shy, and painfully awkward.

you're undeniably adorable, and so refreshing. it's nice being your guardian angel in comparison to being one for some grubby old bastard whose morality borders far past what's considered to be good. hobie hates those people, pigs they are, all of them. you aren’t anything like them. you're boring, yeah, but hobie still likes you better than any other human.

he sometimes pretended that you were talking to him whenever you spoke to yourself out loud, even though that couldn't have been possible. he would smirk and respond to you still with his dry humor and witty remarks because it was fun and it gave him a delightful little buzz.

he didn't know how, or when, it happened, but hobie then found himself melting whenever he was around you, and more, he didn't mind it.

hobie used to hate angels that fell for humans because they’re such fragile beings; you have to be careful with them, all gentle and soft—it's why they need guardian angel, otherwise, they would die out faster than any other species earth has ever known. and angels, despite what people may think, aren't gentle lovers. they're aggressive and intense by nature due to their power and status as "higher beings." humans are too weak to handle an angel's love; it would be too overwhelming for them to handle, so falling for one is pointless, and hobie always thought that the angels who did were stupid. but he gets it now.

he shouldn’t though.

guardian angels have very specific and strict rules that have to be followed meticulously for both the safety of humans and angels. of course, hobie has broken more than a few of these rules before and he’s also gotten plenty of lectures from miguel about it too—enough for hobie to have actually considered flying under the lunatics' radar by doing his job correctly, but hobie... he doesn't like to be pushed around and forced into a role. especially one as heavy as guardian angel. that's just not him, so he does what he wants.

but still, hobie has never seriously messed up before. he's only had a few slip ups here and there that aren't too reprimandable in comparison to other things. he's tried to be somewhat serious about his job, follow all the important rules and all that. that is until he fell for you.

hobie has broken many of the important rules for you, and the first one was even falling for you in the first place. you made him break that one so easily, almost too easy. the next rule hobie broke for you was communicating with you directly, revealing himself and really getting involved with you. but to be fair, that also wasn't his fault. he didn't have the intention of letting you see him that night, let alone talking to you; it just happened.

your friend gwen told you about guardian angels and how it was possible for you to manifest using the help of yours, and you were awfully excited about finding out if that was true or not. you asked him for a sign that he was there, that he was willing to help you. one thing led to another and suddenly you were nestled deeply into the corner of the wall on your bed, wide eyed and shivering as you stared at him standing across the room.

perhaps it was your over eagerness mixed with his half-developed love for you at the time that made him stupidly decide to give you a sign that he was real in the form of literally showing you that he was real, he doesn't know. either way he did show you himself, and it had shocked you, really (an understatement). it took many hours of him consoling you to get you to understand that he's not some psycho who broke into your home somehow, but your actual, real guardian angel, in the flesh.

you were practically all over him after that, asking him all sorts of questions and touching him just to see if that was even possible for you to do—and to know what it would feel like too. not that he minded anyway. hobie decided then that it was much better having you actually talk to him than it was pretending that you were. and your touch was so soft that hobie had actually faltered a little bit when you reached for his cheek, pressing your palm against his skin and keeping it there for as long as he would let you.

of all the places you could have touched him, of course you would choose an area that felt so unreasonably intimate, shaking him to his core. luckily you were far too enamored with the idea that he was a real angel for you to notice how much you’d set him off, how much you affect him.

after that he couldn't stay away from you. before he might have had a chance to snap himself out of his little love-sick puppy stupor, but having you aware of him, talking to him, touching him—it was all exhilarating; he loved it. and it would truly be unfair for anyone to expect him to pull away from you and never let anything like that happen again. that was never an option for hobie, so he just didn't. he won’t ever deny himself the pleasure of you.

the last, most recent rule that hobie broke for you, and the one that happens to be the most important of all, was interfering with your life. going against "fate," as miguel calls it. hobie always thought that it was bullshit since a guardian angels' job is to protect, but apparently, they aren’t allowed to prevent their assigned human's death, or cure their illnesses, or anything like that, even though they had the power to. he didn't understand it, but still, he never got attached enough to feel the need to go against that rule until he fell in love with you.

— ୨୧ —

he indulged himself little by little with you. first by allowing himself to enjoy being your guardian angel, then by falling in love with you and involving himself physically with you. and then he started allowing himself to steal your attention from anyone or anything other than him on days he felt oddly needy.

that term isn't something anyone who knew hobie would use to describe him, not even he would use it to describe himself, but with you he's always acted a little bit different. he came to accept it, told himself that it was the "y/n effect" and left it at that. being needy with you was something that hobie didn't really mind all that much; he embraced it, really.

hobie can at least get away with a little bit of harmless interference this way, by stealing your attention for himself. he didn't mind receiving another long, boring lecture about how he can’t keep breaking rules if it meant he got to spend his day with you holed up in your little apartment, just the two of you. you and him and nobody else.

he'd show up out of nowhere when you least expected him to, always, and tug on your arm, pull you into his body and coax you into staying with him. he'd tell you that going to work would be bad for you, leave you sick and groggy—you hate being sick and all groggy, and only a fool would think hobie wouldn’t use that to his advantage.

"you have to listen to your guardian angel, love," he would tell you, tilting his head to look down at your small frame, admiring the slight angry pout on your lips. "i know what's best for you, so stay, yeah?"

you always do listen to him. you trust him completely, after all, because you're such a naive human that could never ever think that hobie, your guardian angel, has bad intentions with you. and he doesn't, no, he's just a little bit selfish. no harm in that, right? 'course not.

hobie can go a little overboard with his selfishness whenever you have a date to go on though. he shouldn't be because you're a human and he's an angel and he could never have you for real, right? so he should let you have your little love story with your puny little human boy.

but hobie is going to be selfish regardless of the facts. regardless of some stupid rules.

he hates the idea of you being with some dumb human when you have him. he's perfect, he's an angel. he's strong enough to protect you, he has your best interest always in mind—it's his literal job—he can love you the way you deserve to be loved and more, he can care for you better than anyone else in the world because he knows you best and knows exactly what you need without ever having to tell him. no human can ever compare to him.

no human will ever be as cool as him either. hobie doesn't think any guy can top him when he's a punk angel—what could possibly be cooler than that? you said it yourself when the two of you first met.

"wow, i didn't think angels could look so... cool. hobie, you're amazing; what the hell!? how did someone like me get you as a guardian angel?”

who are you to be going on dates when you compliment him so sweetly like that. you obviously have an interest in him and all hobie needs to do is push you in the right direction, so he doesn't mind telling you any excuse he can come up with to get you to drop a guy, stupid and unreasonable or not.

"that guy just wants you for your body."

"that guy has a love already that he's not telling you about."

“that guy isn’t a good person, he’ll be a bad influence for you.”

"sweetheart, he's too ugly for you." he told you one time as an excuse, and you did not like that one.

"hobie! it's not about looks, it's about personality, and– and the heart!" you yelled at him, smacking his chest lightly as you pulled away from him and rushed your way down the hall towards your room.

"oh, s'at right? you like guys with ‘heart’?" he huffed a laugh as he followed behind you, leaning against your door frame when he got to your room. you turn around to glare at him, but he only smirks at your ruffled posture.

cute. cute.

"yes, actually! unlike you. i had no idea angels could be such assholes," you grit before turning back around to flop yourself face first into bed.

you always do that when you're upset with him, which isn't often at all, but it happens enough for hobie to pick up on the little habits you develop, and this is certainly one of them. you don't like looking at him 'cause he ‘does stuff to you,’ apparently. makes you unable to stay mad if you look at him too long, so you just choose not to.

he pushes off the wall and saunters towards you, pressing a knee into your bed as he reaches over to tug at your arm, urging for you to roll over, to look at him. "c'mon, you don't mean that, love." he smiles when you do eventually turn to look at him, and this time with a much less angry expression on your pretty face.

"no, i don't," you sigh defeatedly, "but you are pretty mean sometimes, hobes."

that nickname. he loves that nickname. he loves even more that you were the one who gave it to him.

he hums thoughtfully before responding, "not to you though, and tha's what matters, don't you think?" you roll your eyes at him, shifting so that you're flat on your back now as you look up at him. you don't say anything more, only stare up at him with your pretty eyes, all glossy and shining under the dim light in your room. big, and so fucking innocent.

god. fuck.

hobie crawls over you slowly, keeping his eyes steadily on you as he does. he brings a hand to your cheek, stroking his thumb over your soft skin gently as he settles himself above you, and then he reaches his thumb to press into your chin so that he can get a good grip on your face. to keep you from gettin' all shy on him, ‘cause he knows you will when you realize what he’s about to do to you.

his eyes flit down to your lips when your tongue darts out to lick across your bottom one, all sensual like—or maybe hobie is getting too worked up. yeah, probably that, but whatever.

you sigh shakily when hobie starts to lean down closer. you're so pliant, laying there nice and still for him even though you're feeling nervous right now. because you trust him; there isn't anything hobie could do that would make you not trust him.

hobie has to keep himself from absolutely devouring you when his lips press to yours. he has to remind himself to be soft, to not be too aggressive so he doesn't scare you too much, or hurt you either; the weak little whine you let out as he kisses you does nothing to help his self-control stay intact though. thankfully, you grab tightly at his leather vest and tug for him to come closer, inviting him to press further into you and kiss you deeper.

hobie balances himself up on his knees as the hand that was holding him up comes to knead at your waist and tummy, feeling and rubbing there as gently as he can right now in his worked-up state—which is just barely enough for him not to leave imposing bruises on your skin from how much stronger he is compared to you. you don't seem to mind how tightly he holds onto you though, because you're still eagerly kissing him back, making all sorts of pleased little noises that hobie is all too happy to swallow up.

hobie only pulls away when you start squirming under him, signaling that you need to breathe. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tight against his body as he nuzzles into your neck, inhaling your delicious scent and placing little kisses on your neck as you pant softly.

"you don't need another man, you know that love?" he ask you, tells you, after a while of the two of you just laying together.

"yeah, i guess i don't," you reply to him, airy and quiet, right before you fall asleep tucked nicely into his arms. exactly where you belong.

— ୨୧ —

jessica stops hobie one night right as he's about to leave and go see you.

"if miguel finds out about this, you know he's going to be pissed, right?” she says, coming up behind him. “maybe you can get off on a wrist slap for breaking small, stupid rules, but falling in love with a human is something miguel absolutely will not allow, hobie."

hobie scoffs and rolls his eyes but doesn’t reply, nor does he turn around to look at her. his emotions and feelings would be right on display for her if he did. she’d know well how much he fucked up, and that would be a hit to his pride. ‘specially since he always told her about his dislike for angels who fell for humans.

"what’s ’at got anything to do with me, mm?" he decides to respond out of courtesy, turning his head to look at her through his peripheral, "i'm not in love with any human."

hobie knows that jessica knows that's a lie. it's obvious he's in love with you because of how different he's acting. doing his job right and all that, to some degree at least. breaking the 'don't get in physical contact your human' and 'don't fall in love with your human' rules aside, he's properly keeping up with his status reports about you, he's not off doing other things when he's supposed to be with you. he's being the good proper guardian angel he should be, and that is definitely out of character for hobie. it was really only a matter of time before someone found out. hobie is just lucky it was jessica who put two and two together first instead of miguel. then he’d have a real big problem on his hands.

jessica sighs. "all the stuff miguel says about angels getting attached and falling for humans being dangerous is true, hobie, not just some control tactic to keep angels on a leash. it could cost your human their life, and you your job," she warns before leaving.

hobie always liked how not-pushy she is; it’s why he prefers her over miguel. but he thinks she's wrong, because he would never let you die. ever. he couldn’t care less about losing this shitty job though.

— ୨୧ —

the conversation with jess, as much as hobie hates to admit it, put a real damper on his mood.

he's agitated when he gets to your apartment, showing up right in your room where he knows that you are because he can feel you there. and once he is there, he eases up a little bit. all of his racing thoughts seem to disappear when you come into his vision so he can see you now, not just feel you. seeing and feeling you is nice; it grounds him.

you jolt when you see him suddenly appear behind you in the reflection of the mirror that you're sitting in front of though. a gentle gasp falls from between your pretty lips as you whirl around quickly to look at him, eyes widening like a doe caught in headlights. you ease up quickly, realizing that it's just him; you sigh the words under your breath as you deflate a little bit, coming down from the brief bit of adrenaline you must have felt with him scaring you like that.

goodness, aren't you just so delicate? it's a damn shame hobie's not supposed to go falling for a human, isn't it? a load of tosh that is.

he smirks, "sorry, love. didn't mean to scare you li' that,” he says easy, stepping forward until he's a few feet in front of you, looking down at you, looking up at him. your eyes are glimmering under the artificial light of the lamp settled next to the mirror. he thinks that even in such dodgy lighting, your eyes and soft expression are still utterly enrapturing. the soft, charming glow that the light provides to your features draws a pleased hum from hobie.

so pretty. you're so damn pretty.

"geez, hobes," you say, huffing as you look away from him and down at your lap, "you can't just keep randomly showing up like that; you may well give me a heart attack one of these days if you do." your laugh is music to his ears. airy, pitched, and sweet like the ripest peach. sweeter than the ripest peach.

an angel's voice is supposed to be the most beautiful sound, people say, but hobie disagrees. he would much rather listen to you talk or laugh all day long rather than ever have to hear another word uttered from his shitty coworkers' mouths.

"i would never let that happen to you," he says, tone shifting from playful to serious. hobie feels better that he’s with you now, but the bit jess said about you dying clings to him still. weasels it’s way into his thoughts and makes his stomach lurch. he’s buzzing, and not in the nice delightful kind of buzzing that you bring out of him, no. he just needs you right now.

he needs to feel you—really feel you, beyond the way he feels your life force tied to him, fluctuating with your emotions and physical state. he needs to actually touch you, hold you.

hobie gets down onto his knees in front of you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you up into his chest as he does. you whimper in surprise at the sudden proximity between you and him, your hands instinctively grabbing at his shoulder and jacket to steady yourself, even with how tightly he's holding you against him because his presence just overwhelms you too much. he always makes you feel dizzy and weak in the knees. you can never seem to function, not without his help. but that's normal between humans and angels. you aren't made to handle him, you aren't supposed to, but that's okay; he can be as gentle as you need him to be.

"look at me, love," hobie whispers, hooking a finger under your chin, nudging you to look at him. you squeak when your eyes meet his, no doubt incredibly flustered—he can feel that you are. can feel your pulse throbbing as heat rushes through your skin, radiating a dull warmth for him to sink into as his fingers dig deeper into your skin. he smirks, huffing out a faint laugh as he looks down at you, admiring you.

"there you go, sweetheart," he praises you softly, brushing the pad of his thumb across the slight curve of your bottom lip. your eyes flutter closed briefly as you take a shaky breath, and then you open them again, watching him intently, and god does it make hobie feel all sorts of things.

"'m never gonna let anyone or anything hurt you," he murmurs, tightening his grip around your waist and holding you firmly against his chest with each word uttered, “you’re too precious for me to be careless with you like i am the rest of the shitty people in this shitty world. only you matter to me, yeah? just you and nobody fucking else.” he finishes quietly, dipping down to kiss lightly on your cheeks, one on each side, and then another on your forehead, drawn-out and lingering even after he pulls away.

you're practically melting in his hold by the time he does pull away, so pliable and warm, and you're looking at him with hooded eyes that you can barely keep open. delirious as you are, utterly suffocated by him, your grip on his shoulder and jacket is still relentless, unwavering, as if he would slip away from you if you loosened up the tiniest bit. you want him, need him, near to you as much as he wants you near, really. it's not just him with all of these intense, overwhelming and all-consuming emotions; it's you too.

“hobie,” you whine, nearly breathless, “can you– can we please kiss again? on the… the lips?” you plead, tugging at his jacket in desperation.

“anything for you, sweetheart,” hobie whispers, leaning forward until his mouth is hovering over yours, breathing you in slowly before he finally closes them together. he kisses you slow and tender, taking his time in savoring how delicious you taste. you sigh contentedly, tilting your head to the side and parting your lips for his tongue to delve inside of your mouth.

the hand he has wrapped around your waist slides across your body, feeling every dip and curve down to your thigh, where he grabs at gently, swinging it up to his hip as he pushes off the floor. your legs wrap around him instinctively to hold yourself up in his arms as he carries you across the room to your bed, his lips never once parting away from yours as he does. his other hand is holding your chin and jaw in place so that you can't pull away from him either, wanting as much contact with you at a time as he can get away with. he knows you wouldn't pull away from him so easily, but he likes controlling the kiss, likes it when you let him lead the way and guide your body with his.

hobie carefully sits down on the bed and leans back against the wall, settling you into his lap comfortably before his hand starts roaming all over your body; along your hips and over your thighs, squeezing the fat in his hands before moving back up and dipping under your shirt to feel at your tummy. you moan and whimper into the kiss, shivering under his touch when his hand grazes along especially sensitive areas of your body.

when hobie pulls away you're panting and dazed, humming mindlessly in pleasure as hobie starts pressing kisses down your jaw and neck. his teeth graze lightly along the sensitive flesh beneath your ear teasingly before his tongue dips out to lick delicately at the spot, making your body thrum and pulsate in delectation. he nips once at your skin before finally pulling away to look at you, to savor how much of a mess he was able to make you into with a heated kiss. and god do you look absolutely stunning like this. swollen lips parted as you breath out small puffs of air, hooded eyelids, and your clothes are entirely disheveled from where hobie had pushed them up and slid his hands under.

fuck, you’re lovely.

"you look a mess, sweetheart," he rasps fondly, running his fingertips lightly along your hips and thighs.

"'ts your fault," you mumble, falling into his chest and nuzzling your nose into his neck, exhaling softly as you close your eyes and relax. hobie wraps both of his arms around you and rubs your back gently, soothing you until you hum contentedly.

"yeah, i suppose it is, isn't it?" he agrees quietly, not wanting to disrupt your somnolence.

hobie lays with you in his arms for hours after that, listening intently to your steady heartbeat and soft, rhythmic breathing, every now and then feeling you shift with a cute disgruntled little huff whenever you've stayed in one position for too long. hobie loves your sleepy, content little sounds, loves the way your fingers curl around his vest; even in your sleep you're still clinging onto him, because you need him, and he loves it.

hobie loves you.

— ୨୧ —

hobie knows he's not supposed to interfere with fate. it's against the rules, or whatever bullshit excuse everyone says it is. hobie didn't really care that much about it before because he's never cared about anyone enough to ever want to change their fate, but now he has you, and you need him more than ever to keep you safe, to keep you from dying.

god, he doesn't know how it happened, but you were crying for him so desperately. curled on the floor, gasping for air and clutching onto life with weak claws, you were calling his name. it was like sensory overload, hearing every strewn-out letter of his name mixed in with your sobs, with the incessantly throbbing and pulsating of your life force weakening, slowly and agonizing.

the second you had been put in danger, hobie felt it. all throughout his body and deep within his soul, he felt you dying. there was a shift in the air at that moment, a suffocating, excruciatingly tense one that everyone around hobie had noticed; jess and miguel, and his best friend pavitr.

they all yelled and screamed at him that he couldn't go to you, lunging to stop him as he fumbled for the watch that would help him get to you the fastest, but the noise they made was dull and muffled in comparison to the way you cried for him. and god did it feel like he was getting stabbed through the heart mercilessly every time that you did. how dare they ever expect him to just listen to then when you were in so much fucking pain, all alone and the only one you wanted was him.

he had to save you. fuck the rules and fuck his shitty job; you were far more important to him than any of that. it didn’t matter to hobie that in order to save you he had to enchain his soul with yours, it didn't matter to him that he would share every bit of pain with you now, even your last breath if you ever took it, because hobie would rather give up his entire being to you than ever have to live without you.

#yandere #yandere thoughts #yandere imagines #yandere atsv #yandere spiderverse #yandere hobie #yandere hobie brown #hobie x reader #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie x y/n #hobie x you #hobie brown x y/n #soft yandere #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #gender neutral reader

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lungfishpoem · 2 months

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Woah huge IMSCARED text/analysis I made...

Tbh this is like, a mix of many many texts and analyses I made. Because Eh. Have fun!

I feel like people have a tendency, when it comes to indie horror games, to be really interested in a story, in a narrative. When you search for videos about these games, you may sometimes see something different, but they are mostly "what happened". This obsession with a narrative, with a prose, isn't necessarily bad.

IMSCARED is a game that doesn't fit in a proper narrative. It has themes, and ideas, and traces of a small sequence of events. But is it like prose? No. It isn’t even a narrative poem. IMSCARED is a free verse, non-narrative piece of poetry made out of mixed media.

It may seem odd, to call a videogame poetry. And it is! It doesn’t have the structure of a poem... And it does seem a little bit exaggerated, pretentious to call it that. And it is! But isn’t a little bit of pretentiousness-filled analyses good for your mind? I think it is.

The text files, the little bits of dialogue. They're all compressed in small, cut, separated phrases.

Take the first parts of White Face's breakdown in consideration:

"I begged You and You ignored my request

What do You think will happen next?

You made this game unplayable

I made this game unplayable

I don't want You to kill me

I will live here forever

I will look at You forever

I don't want to die

I'm scared"

This specific little quirk of short spasms of text present in IMSCARED only helps in the classification of it as poetry, like, at the very least in some bits of it. And isn’t that cool?

It isn’t a narrative (although, as I mentioned, poetry can, well, narrate things)... so, well, of course IMSCARED videos and such tend to be... poor.

There isn’t much to talk about in the sense of story. And people want stories. So they tell, well, stories. But IMSCARED isn’t a story, it's, as the complete name suggests, "a pixelated nightmare".

And, a pixelated nightmare. But whose? It definitely is the player's, and it is not groundbreaking to say it is White Face's too. But what is it so scared about?

White Face has nothing. Not its room, not its own program. It, itself, is all there is. Everything is White Face and nothing is outside of it. This is the absolute state of loneliness. The infinite "I". Even the player, who has a consciousness of their own, used the entity's digital body. However, even if You possesses a fragment of White Face's (un)body, the situation is too new. It has never seen that, the "other" with a consciousness of their own, and if it has, it has been a long time since that happened, a long, long, digital and uncontable time. White Face is NOT used to this. It doesn't know how to interact with this "other". So, You becomes everything to it. It doesn't NEED to feel LOVE. It isn't NECESSARILY love. It's a mixture of obsession, curiosity, surprise and happiness, but most important of all: fear. I can't see love in White Face's relationship with You, it's strong, strong fear. Horror. It's a nightmare. It is so scared. So scared.

It's not only the strangeness of interaction, but the fear of abandonment. The game is filled of desperate attempts to catch You's attention. The fear is so great that White Face morphs itself into something else, Her, trying to hook You with a story, a beautiful figure, a different personality. Her is an attempt to be stronger, she is stronger, she is bolder (chases You and feels no fear in telling You to kill her). But this act of morphing is agonizing, because the lack of fear creates agony in the fear entity's heart. So it screams. It screams so loudly you can't tell if it's laughing, crying, happy, sad... angry? It's full of anger. Having a body it deems ideal and real (flesh, bleeding. Closer to You) is too much. So she wants to die. And White Face has no word in it, because it created too much, and so it became (almost) completely separated from it. But how?

White Face divides itself to fill the void of the cold, lonely digital world. Everything is White Face and White Face is everything. Because... well... IMSCARED is a program that holds White Face. It's an entity turned into data, and the data is the game and the game is the data. That's why when You kill it... the world is different. The world becomes a cadaver, a huge, huge cadaver. It doesn't hold fear anymore, it holds nothing, which is why it is brighter (fearless) but empty (nothingness). But White Face doesn't have that much control over the world, the things it creates. They become organs that you can't really control, but they are a part of you, they're still there, still in you. This is Her. She was created and then slowly split herself from White Face, although she was still it and it was still her. She couldn't handle the agony as an immitation of flesh and blood, and begged to die (but not without a fight). But then... the gun which (who) killed her... is also White Face (exemplified by the player having White Face's face)...

This is very scary, to be holding the gun but not the (Your) nerve of the finger that pulls the trigger. But this other... the "other" is great! White Face has never been happier! But it has never been more scared. It is, again, a horrifying mixture of feelings.

"Play with me forever. I love you" doesn't contradict White Face's fear. It proves its confusion and need to stay with You. Stay with it. Please don't make the fear stop, being scared seems so much better than being lonely.

#imscared #white face #her imscared

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joeysmuttonchops · 8 months

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Jericho: Direct Quotes from 1984-1991

Joseph Wilson, AKA Jericho, was created by Marv Wolfman and George George Pérez for The New Teen Titans.

Joe is mute and DC has varied their care in portraying that. In his original appearances Joe is fluent in sign language, and that is his preferred way of speaking. However, even though Joe is constantly signing, the comics do not always translate his signing for the reader to follow.

I set out to collect specifically direct quotes from his original slate of appearances. From his intro in Tales of the Teen Titans #42 to just before Titans: Hunt, stopping at The New Titans #69. This list collects either direct translations of his signing, or quoted thought/bubbles, with their punctuation preserved.

This does not include his ability to talk using the voice, verbiage, and tone of the unconscious person he's possessing (a power used a lot right at his introduction, which then tapers off), or the times when he is shown to be signing but we are not given a direct translations of said signs.

This also does not contain his narration in The New Teen Titans #47, which is Danny and Joey reading the auto/biographies of the Titans Joe has written. This is only because that would be a transcript of the entire issue, and I don't think I can fit that in a post.

Finally, this list does not include any spoken quotes from Titans: Hunt, where he was inexplicably able to speak verbally. I didn't include those for two reasons: 1. While there are a few moments when it's clear Joe is speaking and not the Souls of Azarath, ultimately they are both influencing eachother, so we can't be sure it is only Joe's words and verbiage. 2. This post is intended to function as an record of how little Joe was able to express himself in his own/preferred language.

I've included the full quotes, issues they're from, and a brief summery of what Joe is referring to, so beware of spoilers. Where I could not summarize the conversation, I have included Joe and the person he's talking with's dialogue.

I've tried to organize these quotes chronologically, but I may have made a mistake or missed a few. If you spot any, let me know; I'd love for this post to be as accurate as possible.

"Mommy! … Daddy?" — Tales of the Teen Titans #44 — Baby Joe's dialogue when Adeline and Slade arrive where Jackal is holding him hostage

"Will you marry me?" — Teen Titans Spotlight #3 — Joe asks Penelope Lord to marry him

"No! I won't!" — Tales of the Teen Titans #44 — Joe tries to refuse to hurt Dick while possessing him

Dick: "You want to help?" Joe: "Yes." — Tales of the Teen Titans #44 — Joe offers his help storming H.I.V.E. to rescue the Titans

"No." — Tales of the Teen Titans #45 — Joe says he's not ready to show his paintings in a gallery show

"Yes!" — Tales of the Teen Titans #56

"No… I'll help." — The New Teen Titans v2 #10 — Joe says that he'll be the one to help Kole.

"No. Yes. Friends… Not lovers." "Don't be. Stay… Talk… Cry…" — The New Teen Titans v2 #10 — Kole propositions Joey after Adeline finds her father. He turns her down

"Everything's fine." — The New Teen Titans v2 #12 — Joe responds to Kole

"I want to join… to go. Please take me with you." — The New Teen Titans v2 #13 — Joe asks to go with Kory on her return to Tamaran

K: "If you're going, I'll come with you." J: "No… please don't." K: "Why not? I - - I thought you loved me… like I love you." J: "I care… very much… Please understand… please." — The New Teen Titans v2 #14 — Kole tries to convince Joe to stay on Earth

"No." — The New Teen Titans v2 #16 — Joe tells Ryand'r that Kory isn't doing so hot

"Friend." — The New Teen Titans v2 #18 — Joe and Ryand'r agree that they're friends

"I stayed with my mother last night. She told me. I… cried through the night." — The New Teen Titans v2 #18 — Joey has heard about Kole's death after returning to Earth

"Kole is gone and nothing can be done. Go to Dick. His pains have just begun." — The New Teen Titans v2 #18 — Joey tells Donna to comfort Dick, who is reeling from the breakup/Kory's marriage, instead of staying with him after Kole's death

"No." — The New Teen Titans v2 #22 — Joe turns down shooting pigeons

"Yes." — The New Teen Titans v2 #22 — Joe agrees that either he misses the Titans or they've disbanded, it is intentionally unclear

"Yes." — Teen Titans Spotlight #4 — Joe agrees to help Penelope Lord

"Where… is… she… ?" — Teen Titans Spotlight #4 — Joe wakes up after being knocked out defending Penelope Lord

"Yes!" — Teen Titans Spotlight #4 — Addie asks if Joe still wants to be a pat of the mission knowing Penelope might be using him

"Yes." — Teen Titans Spotlight #5 — Joe says he has the promethium blueprints

"I - - agree." — Teen Titans Spotlight #5 — Joe and Adeline agree that the Lords are using them

"Why, Penny - - Why?" — Teen Titans Spotlight #5 — Joey sees Penny working with the H.I.V.E.

"I know." — Teen Titans Spotlight #6 — Joe tells Adeline he knows the Lord's plan

"Home." — Teen Titans Spotlight #6 — Joe explains why the Lord's haven't blown up their base yet

"I have you, my painting, friends. Nothing else is important." — Teen Titans Spotlight #6

"What about Dick, Kory and Raven?" — The New Teen Titans v2 #24 — Donna and Joey are talking about rejoining/reforming the New Teen Titans

"Thank you." — The New Teen Titans v2 #24 — Joe is replying to Wally's compliments

"Donna, turn to me… I can phase into you… Free myself that way." — The New Teen Titans v2 #27 — Joey has been tied to a lightning rod by the brotherhood of evil, Donna is trying to rescue him

"Im going to help or die trying!" — Action Comics #584 — Joey is teaching sign language at a street school when he hears the Titans are fighting Superman

"Down, Starfire." — The New Teen Titans v2 #33 — The bridge by Titan's Tower is collapsing, Joey wants to get into the water to start rescues

J: "Worried." D: "About What?" J: "You." — The New Teen Titans v2 #33 — Conversation between Dick and Joey, when Dick picks Joey up at his apartment.

"Okay." — The New Teen Titans v2 #33 — Joey confirms Raven's medical status.

*I can't tell if this is Joe or Sarah signing "I mean, he's not the first guy I broke up with, huh? What are you signing?" — The New Teen Titans v2 #41 — Joey is talking with Sarah Simms

"I know… I know…" —The New Teen Titans v2 #46 — After Vicki assaults him, Chris King is worried about what Vicki would have done to Joey if she had caught him

"And I have a date with Tish… at M.O.M.A." — The New Teen Titans v2 #47 — Joey turns down an invite to go to the movies with the Titans

"I don't know." — The New Titans v1 Annual #5 — Joe's answer when Dick asks him where Raven is.

"Night-night!" —The New Titans v1 #52 — Joey tells Vic to knock out the guy he's possessing

"D-I-C-K. R-A-V-E-N." — The New Titans v1 #61 — Joe fingerspells Dick and Raven's names.

"I do." — The New Titans v1 #63 — Gar asks Joe if he knows he and Slade are friends

#dc comics #joey wilson #joseph wilson #joe wilson #jericho wilson #so i just checked. all of his dialogue. throughout a 7 year run. fits on just about a quarter of a page.#so. theres that also.#meta

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mariana-oconnor · 5 months

Text

The Lion's Mane pt 2

Fair warning: I've had a fever for like half of the day, so this is liable to be more unhinged than usual. Everything feels sort of floaty and I'm pretty sure I had a dissociative episode this morning. Fun. Woooooo!

"That's The Haven, as Bellamy called it. The one with the corner tower and slate roof."

His house has a tower? No fair.

There was no mistaking that tall, angular, straggling figure. It was Ian Murdoch, the mathematician. A moment later we confronted him upon the road.

Is he hiding a jellyfish catapult up his jumper? That's the real question.

Is he three jellyfish in a trenchcoat?

"I am your subordinate, sir, under your roof. I am not aware that I owe you any account of my private actions." Stackhurst's nerves were near the surface after all he had endured. Otherwise, perhaps, he would have waited. Now he lost his temper completely. "In the circumstances your answer is pure impertinence, Mr Murdoch." "Your own question might perhaps come under the same heading."

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

"You will kindly make fresh arrangements for your future as speedily as you can." "I had intended to do so. I have lost to-day the only person who made The Gables habitable."

omg McPherson and Murdoch unrequited love enemies to lovers 100k angst hurt no comfort major character death

Murdoch needs to set out on a mission of revenge to murder all jellyfish. I still don't like him because throwing dogs through windows is an unforgivable offence, but VENGEANCE must be his new creed. He can turn the power of maths to his cause.

One man's quest to avenge his beloved. A tale for the ages. Revenge is best served wet.

I feel like there's a jelly and ice cream joke to be made there, but I don't think he should eat the jellyfish, even if that might be one of the only ways to kill them for good.

"My son here" -indicating a powerful young man, with a heavy, sullen face, in the corner of the sitting-room -- "is of one mind with me that Mr McPherson's attentions to Maud were insulting."

Maybe Mr Bellamy the younger is three jellyfish in a trenchcoat! Or maybe the whole family is jellyfish shapeshifters!

The possibilities are endless.

(the idea of jellyfish shapeshifters is going to give me the weirdest fever dreams tonight istg.)

Who could have imagined that so rare a flower would grow from such a root and in such an atmosphere? Women have seldom been an attraction to me, for my brain has always governed my heart, but I could not look upon her perfect clear-cut face, with all the soft freshness of the downlands in her delicate colouring, without realizing that no young man would cross her path unscathed.

Ugh, Holmes. Come on. I was counting on you! I'm going to lay the blame for this one on ACD and say that he suffered from the inability to describe a pretty woman without being horny about it, no matter who his narrator was supposed to be,

"There is no reason why my sister should be brought into the matter," growled the younger man.

Her boyfriend's dead, bitch. There's a lot of reasons. Stop being a dickhead and start being a comforting brother. Honestly. Stupid jellyfishifter.

She listened to a short account from my companion, with a composed concentration which showed me that she possessed strong character as well as great beauty. Maud Bellamy will always remain in my memory as a most complete and remarkable woman.

Well, at least she isn't getting brain fever. We are all grateful.

"Bring them to justice, Mr Holmes. You have my sympathy and my help, whoever they may be." It seemed to me that she glanced defiantly at her father and brother as she spoke.

OMG they are jellyfishifters! She knows! She knows!

"I see no reason for mystery," she answered. "We were engaged to be married, and we only kept it secret because Fitzroy's uncle, who is very old and said to be dying, might have disinherited him if he had married against his wish. There was no other reason."

The ancient enmity between the jellyfishifters and the sea turtle shifters! It's Romeo and Juliet meets Waterworld (I've never seen Waterworld, but I assume that it is a war epic about the ongoing conflicts between jellyfish and sea turtles. Or I do now, because it has occurred to me.)

"There was a time when I thought he was. But that was all changed when he understood the relations between Fitzroy and myself."

The tragedy. The homosexual pining.

"Sad story this, sir, about Mr McPherson's dog," said she one evening. I do not encourage such conversations, but the words arrested my attention. "What of Mr McPherson's dog?" "Dead, sir. Died of grief for its master."

Best. Boy. Survived being thrown through a plate glass window only to die of grief.

Also, what the fuck, Holmes? You 'don't encourage such conversations'? You're the only person she sees all day. TALK TO THE WOMAN.

So the dog was also attacked by the jellyfish. Someone really needs to mark that beach off limits.

You will know, or Watson has written in vain, that I hold a vast store of out-of-the-way knowledge without scientific system, but very available for the needs of my work. My mind is like a crowded box-room with packets of all sorts stowed away therein—so many that I may well have but a vague perception of what was there.

Have you finally remembered that lions man jellyfish exist?

...Inspector Bardle of the Sussex Constabulary—a steady, solid, bovine man with thoughtful eyes...

Animal comparisons as well. It's like we have Watson back.

"What would my position be if I let him slip away with all this evidence against him?"

You have literally 0 evidence.

"But I have examined them very carefully with a lens. They have peculiarities." "What are they, Mr Holmes?"

Well, one peculiarity is that they're jellyfish stings. So write that down.

"A most ingenious comparison. Or shall we say a very stiff cat-o'-nine-tails with small hard knots upon it?"

bdsm play gone very wrong... or jellyfish?

It's a difficult one.

Ian Murdoch staggered into the room, pallid, dishevelled, his clothes in wild disorder, clawing with his bony hands at the furniture to hold himself erect. “Brandy! Brandy!” he gasped, and fell groaning upon the sofa.

BRANDY! The triumphant return! And Watson isn't even here to administer it.

Get that man some brandy and cure him of... what's probably jellyfish stings, I guess. Does the brandy go in his mouth or does he bathe in it?

Half a tumbler of the raw spirit brought about a wondrous change.

If there is anything this year of Sherlock Holmes stories has taught me, it's that there is a panacea, it is brandy and we should all worship it. I need some brandy, clearly. Why am I taking paracetamol when I should be downing brandy?

At any moment he might die. More and more brandy was poured down his throat, each fresh dose bringing him back to life.

Best. Story. Ever.

I love this. It's perfect. No notes. Save that man's life with brandy, Holmes. If only you'd had a hip flask on you before. Can dogs drink brandy? I mean, there's that legend about St Bernards carrying brandy with them. Clearly dogs and brandy go together.

I can't believe brandy is saving the day. This is excellent.

Pads of cotton-wool soaked in salad-oil seemed to take the agony from the strange wounds.

OK, brandy and salad oil. Sure, why not.

I feel like he might be about to die of alcohol poisoning instead. But sure.

“I think I can, Stackhurst. Come with me now! And you, Inspector, come along! We will see if we cannot deliver this murderer into your hands.”

No, do not pick up the jellyfish with your hands.

“Cyanea!” I cried. “Cyanea! Behold the Lion's Mane!” The strange object at which I pointed did indeed look like a tangled mass torn from the mane of a lion. It lay upon a rocky shelf some three feet under the water, a curious waving, vibrating, hairy creature with streaks of silver among its yellow tresses. It pulsated with a slow, heavy dilation and contraction.

I'm really glad everyone is now on the same page, but I do have to say, Holmes, that clearly you had suspicions and you still allowed people to swim in that pool. That's reckless endangerment of lives, if ever I saw it. I am even more disappoint.

Even if you were wrong about it, you still shouldn't have let people swim there until you were sure you were wrong. Poor show.

There was a big boulder just above the ledge, and we pushed it until it fell with a tremendous splash into the water. When the ripples had cleared we saw that it had settled upon the ledge below. One flapping edge of yellow membrane showed that our victim was beneath it. A thick oily scum oozed out from below the stone and stained the water round, rising slowly to the surface.

A yuck and B, now the jellyfishifters are going to come after you.

Could have just put up signs telling people not to swim there rather than crushing the poor thing. It didn't mean to kill anyone.

"He gulped down brandy, a whole bottleful, and it seems to have saved his life."

✨Brandy!✨

“No, Mr. Murdoch. I was already upon the track, and had I been out as early as I intended I might well have saved you from this terrific experience.”

Yeah, feel bad, Holmes. Feel bad!

"The poor fellow had never thought to dry himself, and so I in turn was led to believe that he had never been in the water."

This I don't get. Was he not wet when they found him? Whatever. Doesn't matter. It was the jellyfish all along. There were no jellyfish catapults alas, and perhaps no jellyfishifters, but we aren't told whether the younger Mr Bellamy had gone suspiciously missing following the crushing of the jellyfish, are we?

But one thing we can all rest assured knowing: Brandy is the true hero. Three cheers for brandy!

#Letters from Watson #The Lion's Mane #Sherlock Holmes #long post

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myers-meadow · 1 month

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If Haarlep were to become genuinely romantically involved with a mortal, then what would that relationship look like? Would the incubus be jealous or possessive of their partner? Would there be any expectations for exclusivity? Would it be a 'We can sleep with other people, but we are romantically exclusive' kind of situation?

Good question! This is gonna be a long answer, because I just can't shut up <3

There's some lore that I know of that says devils can have cravings for affection, the way mortals do, and that feeling is stronger the closer they are to being humanoid? Something like that at least, but I'm FAR from an expert on lore - i just write silly fics. Anyway, incubi and succubi are closer to humanoid shape, than those insect devils or any else that I have seem some art of. Affection is not the same as love, but it doesn't have to be for it to still be meaningful and fulfilling. I mean, maybe animals can't love, but if that 'mrew' the cat does while jogging up to the door when the owner comes home, isn't love, it at least is enough for me, and enough to make me happy. Those ramblings out of the way,,

Exclusivity... I don't think there's anything like that in the relationship, at least not in the ones my Tav/ocs have with him. Haarlep needs to sleep with others, and corrupt mortals, to feed and live a satisfactory life. I don't know how much or how often they need to feed, but I do think that the appetite could be quite insatiable - give a finger, they take a hand type situation? I mean that, if you give them free reign to feed on you, you may just render yourself fucked out and comatose for a good while 😅.

As for exclusivity on Tav/reader's side... Depends on what they want, too, of course. Possessiveness can be quite hot in fics, so I do enjoy writing it,,, Haarlep, as a devil, is probably selfish enough not to want others to play with his toys. Still, he is understanding of having needs, desires, hunger; especially when you two are apart for a longer time.

Romantically exclusive is a good word for it, maybe. I do see Haarlep and Tav both making comments along the lines of "you better not do this with others", or "you're the only one I ever want to do this with", about bathing together, washing each others hair and body, sensual massages, breakfasts in bed, etc etc. Still, with the descriptions of the narrator of the scene ("every kiss is a lie of true love"), Haarlep deals in mortal affection and love, it's part of his game to lure mortals in so he can feed. So it may be hard to have defined boundaries around this.

Then there is the option, of the Haarlep/Tav/Raphael polycule <3. So then exclusivity is yet another thing to discuss. The vibe I get from Raphael would be that he likes to share much less than Haarlep does - he may even make a rule stating you cant fuck Haarlep while they're in another form than Raphael's. It's still up to you whether you keep to that rule or not, of course. What Raphael doesn't know, can't harm him <3 😊

On a more light-hearted note (half-joking about these), to me a relationship with Haarlep would include;

talking shit about Raphael together

telling him 'i love you' when he's balls deep inside/when you're balls deep inside

and saying it again while you're cuddling after, slick with sweat

rummaging through Raphael's archive, messing up his orderly poetry collection.....

Haarlep is tender and loving and everything you've ever wanted... and he makes sure you stay with him for as long as he wishes you to be, so that he gets to enjoy you and your adoration of him.

exploring new hobbies together, maybe something artistic, and I'm sure Haarlep has enough knowledge about sex positions that him teaching you would keep you busy for months on end.

late nights talking together while laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, tails coiled together but otherwise not touching (is too hot)

ALL of the infernal gossip

being a menace in Raphael's life. Just. Overall.

Later on, after I've written the fics I'm working on and have a better grasp on how I see his character, I'd like to explore Haarlep as someone outside of Raphael's realm of influence. But that's for another day!

xoxo Meadow

#ask #anon #stray cat anon #bg3 #bg3 headcanons #bg3 haarlep #haarlep #haarlep headcanons

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mish-tique · 2 years

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Miss missha, the sexting tag is there winking at me. I just know this will be good. You write sexts so brilliantly!!

And yes, the carlando pics (posted on main?!)!! good for them

Also, thank you thank you so much for everything you've put in for kinktober. it may not have gone exactly up to schedule, but totally fine and valid and you've been keeping us well fed.

SPOILERS for "part of my life" below the rose line

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Reading this paragraph: "He’s truly spoiled; yesterday they had a date day and spent the entire day together...." <- this lando is so omega/sub coded, and still also living vicariously thru fic!lando, where is daddy carlos? need him to show up soon. lando's so clingy and the way it translates to the narration is just perfect

"while Lando wants to be childish, he can’t and has to let the Red team borrow his love every once in a while." <- childish, selfish, bratty lando!!! carlos come for your man

"That’s something Carlos has always fondly teased him about — whenever he’s thinking, he’s stressed, or sleepy, things find their way into his mouth." <- we know where that line of thinking brought me. i'm not gonna speak of it any more

"Right now though, he would love to have something else in his mouth. Something big and warm, something that’s so entirely Carlos that it can make everything better." <- THERE IT IS

"It doesn’t matter what it could be — whatever it is that Lando has decided to share with him, Carlos will gladly take it. Anything Lando gives him, Carlos will hold onto and appreciate. Just like he hopes to do forever with Lando: hold onto him and appreciate him for as long as Lando allows him." <- 🥺🥺 my heart 🥺🥺

"Mi Vida" <- awww 🥺🥺

clingy!lando and possessive!carlos is such a vibe and a pairing and it suits them so good

let this lando wear some thigh highs tooo

OH THE MCLAREN DAYS. at the garages during race weekends, in their driver rooms, sneaking into each other's hotel rooms... and when it's factory days, some random offices or storage rooms... hands creeping up thighs during team meetings hidden in sight by tables or document print-outs

And yet, the team knew the whole time? i wish i had been there during the fruity years of the papaya team

“You guys are oddly sweet when horny,” Charles comments, looking over Carlos' shoulder without any shame." <- actually made me curse out loud laughing 😂 😂

why could i see that whole exchange with charles happening in real life 😂 😂

"Are you writing an essay?" "Remind me to never send you nudes" <- 😂 😂

Ahh that ending was so perfect!! it just screams carlando and their dorky horny selves. i love it, so sweet and horny (charles was so right for that comment) and really funny.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 <- and extra more for being such a comedian.

-Rose 🥺🌹

Sexting is honestly so fun!! Ngl more so in real life than when writing because those time stamps are a bitch to add. which is why i might've been 'forgetting' them in my kinktober fics. oops. sorry not sorry.

and thank you!! im not so sad anymore that things didn't go as i wanted them to go so that's good!! i think.

seeing how i still manage to omega code lando even in a non omegaverse fic: oops

we all are this type of lando at times

sweety, sometimes you don't have to say anything xx

i swear this kind of carlando stuff makes me a puddle of softness. i cannot handle them

please Charles is done with carlando and lando's sometimes (affectionately) done with carlos dsghkdsg

I like how you think some scenes in my fics are funny because I swear in real life i don't have a drop of humor in me

#rose anon #🥺🌹#qued #missha's kinktober

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showerbong · 6 months

Text

ATTN: [Redacted] MFA | Application Committee

Statement of Purpose

Dear Committee Members,

Let me start off by thanking you for this incredible opportunity to reflect on all of the ways my life has not turned out as planned thus far. Your request for a statement of purpose is timely considering that my state of existential dissatisfaction is currently (though temporarily) beating out my innate oppositionally defiant tendencies. Please bear with me as I hope to address all of your questions and concerns about my character and my work before this moment of lucidity passes and this part of myself (which aspires to better my spiritual and material conditions of existence) is swallowed once again in the high tide of my self-disgust. As I type this, I have one eye on the TV, which I have configured to play a 5-hour compilation of Dance Moms screaming scenes on endless loop.

I am sure that I am not a person you will take seriously, and, quite frankly, I'd prefer if you didn't. I think I would consider being taken seriously a personal failure as I do pride myself on being FUN, having an interesting PERSPECTIVE, and possessing at least a modicum of God-given talent.

After attending [redacted]'s Program for Writers, I have also made it one of my daily practices to make pointed yet subtle digs at anyone who tries to quote Lacan to me, or recommends a specific edition of Freud. A particular talent that I possess is the ability to have all of my creative material ripped off by fledgling rhetorical theorizers, who may or may not have just read Marx for the first time.

I'm sure it does not bear repeating that, I, as an author (and, I suppose, a narrator, meta-narratively speaking), am generally protected under the free speech & artistic expression, and ergo am not responsible for anything my characters say or do. Further information on this topic, I think, can be found in some shitpost called Death of the Author. All this to say, just because one of my characters teaches intro to college composition to first-year undergrads, where she is unable to answer questions about MLA formatting, never attends her own office hours, and smokes weed on the smoke-free campus behind a pillar before and after every class, does not mean that I, the narrator and author, do the same.

While studying in [redacted's] Program for Writers, I gained valuable experience teaching intro to college composition to first-year undergrad students, where I often answered student questions both in-class and during regularly-held office hours (biweekly). I do not struggle with substance abuse issues.

Generally speaking, my work is interested in the idiosyncrasies of the mundane, and in moments of coalescence between psychological and physical landscapes. I like to take particular note of urban environments under late-stage capitalism, particularly around Boston, where I spent a decade of my life in and out of psychological upheaval and a legion of dive bars. As a lifelong sufferer of inimical neuroses, I have a natural inclination towards characters wrestling with malaise, anxiety, and chips on their shoulders, particularly when everything around them looks like, and is, complete & utter shit. I don't shy away from grit and decay because I listened to a lot of punk rock growing up and used to smoke Parliaments. Currently, I am working on a collection of linked stories set in New England which explore occupation and purpose in rapidly-evolving cultural, environmental, technological, and economic microenvironments. I have also broken ground on a satirical, character-driven campus novel, inspired loosely by Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as well as the experiences of a close friend of mine, who, unrelatedly, battled substance abuse while enrolled in a graduate-level English program.

Despite all of this hardship, I have kept a sweaty grasp on my emaciated optimism's throat-- I owe this accomplishment entirely to Ottessa Moshfegh, whose interviews I have been watching at a low-yet-detectable volume during my hourly bong-ripping break. The way she rambles to the point of incoherence during book tour talks is an aspirational slay. I fantasize that if I could find her email address online and ask her what she thinks of the MFA, she would tell me not to bother, and just to spend my energy on the 90 Day Novel and slaying. Using the law of attraction, this is already my reality. I am famous, and writing this statement of purpose to you has been a court-mandated exercise in humility, because I am simply TOO slay otherwise, and people are getting worried. Anyways, if you read this, that's cool I guess, but I am not sure why I'd want to sign myself up again to be tortured by academics wishing to suck the federal loan money and lifeblood slay out of me... Peace

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carlyraejepsans · 2 years

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Wanted to send this for a while but I'm stoked that you're also on the "the fallen human is meant to be named the player's/your name" train. Imo it's kind of a shame that we discovered Chara as "the true name," because I think it allows for a mental separation between the player and their actions in a way that dilutes the experience of Undertale. Some people have this mentality that it's not you, the player, doing all those terrible things -- it's Chara! Chara is possessing Frisk! When, no, Frisk is the vessel for the player. The remnants of Chara's memory/determination may be there as well, as evidenced by narration in the Geno route, but my take is that the part of Chara that is lingering is shaped by the players actions, too. It's nice to know the fallen human's true name so that we can talk about Chara as an in-universe character, but I think who Chara was and the "demon" that takes their form at the end of the Geno route are actually separate things -- because that figure at the end is a manifestation of the player's/your will; it's the culminating evidence of your actions, and not something that exists all along whether you play a Geno route or not. It's you. That's how I think about it, at least.

Also... inspecting the coffin of the 1st human and seeing your own name on it? That moment slaps and it loses its potency when you don't use your own name on the first run, if you're going in not knowing the lore.

seconding pretty much everything you said here. the only thing I'd add is that, in my interpretation, chara is meant to represent not just You you, but "you" as in "the intended audience for undertale when toby had no idea it would blow up like this", which is specifically RPG fans.

undertale is a commentary/prank call/love letter to that genre, after all, and the key of its message lies in challenging that violence, that unquestioned reality that you should mow down enemies to advance with the game. chara falling into the underground after running away from child abuse, the "kill or be killed" mentality that generated from that, their idea of helping monsterkind involving 1) excruciating self-sacrifice, 2) destroying humanity to let monsters rule the surface... i think chara's meant to symbolize the state of RPG players before then. violence being taken for granted, and for a good reason! it's not like most games gave you a peaceful alternative.

but... the plan fails. you don't kill, so you get killed. simple right? that's how it was always going to go. game's over... until it's not.

because the game's just beginning.

and here is why I'm such a big defender of the "the last fallen human is a reincarnation of the first and frisk in the pacifist run specifically is what is still standing after the ghost of that first child is put to rest" theory. after YOUR grief and violence and unfinished business are put to rest. until YOUR notion (as an RPG player) that "it's kill or be killed" is proven wrong. i think that's why it's so important that flowey is framed alongside you as a mirror to ye average player. and i think THAT'S why we only learn frisk's name in a pacifist run after the asriel fight, where we literally dig up asriel and chara's memories and exorcise them from the story, finally putting them at rest. it's also why the merch keeps calling frisk "the human" even though there are so many bigger spoilers everywhere, and why it doesn't matter if the neutral endings don't make sense (where does the human go. where did they get the monster soul if flowey shattered asgore's? did they cross the barrier? are they dead?) because they're not really endings are they? flowey says so himself "don't you have ANYTHING better to do?"

IT'S USING THE MECHANIC OF RESETTING A GAME TO REPRESENT HAUNTING. THE PLAYER IS THE GHOST, THE GAME IS WHAT IT HAUNTS. that's why the pacifist ending is the True Ending! because as long as you have unfinished business (remember, chara died by the hand of the same humans that abused them. violence was their world and that world broke them), you'll keep haunting the story!

as for the chara sprite, i also agree that it's something we can only see in genocide, and I don't think it's a coincidence that in the pacifist run and the once upon a time cutscene they always have their face covered. chara IS you. that's the whole plotwist of the entire goddamn game!! of course, they had to have their own characteristics and quirks and life inside the game, in the same way that you don't live in a world with pokemons in it, but the MC are still supposed to represent you and have your name. there's an inevitable seam between where you, individual player, connects to "you" your representation in the game itself, for the simple reason that the game can't read your mind. as long as you do the right thing, that seam blends into nothing.

during a genocide run though? sans said it best: "the more you hurt, the easier it is to distance from yourself". other characters actively point out your lack of emotion and weird distant behavior. the more you kill, the more you pull on that seam until it rips apart completely. THAT'S why you meet "chara" face to face at the end. you completely estranged them from yourself.

and now things are out of your hands.

don't say they didn't warn ya

#*walks onto the lawn outside campus and sets up a 'FRISK IS CHARA'S REINCARNATION THEORISTS CLUB' stand*#please come and join us. we have chocolate #undertale #chara #frisk #entry log #metanalysis

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ssweeneys · 2 years

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How do you think Cassie and Nate's dynamic shifted since season one? Cause I went back and rewatched yesterday and like he was so mean to her talking about her and showing her nudes, pretty sure he had them saved on his phone. Very odd. Almost like he was a little obsessed with her. I know season two said he met Maddy first but I think Rue's narration can be a bit skewed sometimes. Idk to me it just seems like he's speaking out of a place of rejection like maybe he tried to get with her and she was like nope. I don't think Nate was ever her type to begin with.

Putting under the cut simply because this got so fucking long lol and I don’t wanna clog up someone’s dashboard with my thoughts being all over the place.

I wanna start off by saying, I agree that Rue's narration of things is a bit skewed. She's definitely not the most reliable or reputable source for information given that she's an addict (1) and her mental health is not at it's greatest.

I, personally always thought Nate had a thing for Cassie. In the Pilot when he brings up the sextapes to McKay he says that it doesn't matter if he likes her or not because it's irrelevant when McKay calls him out for digging her and then goes on to label her a whore. His attraction to Maddy was, he was led to believe she was a virgin and therefore she was untouched whereas with Cassie because of the emotional abuse and pressure from guys previously, he knew she wasn't. Nate's a very possessive human being. His way of gaining control in an uncontrolled environment is through ownership. It's why he treats women like their property, particularly how he did with Maddy throughout s1 and we get a small glimpse of in s2 when Nate is hounding McKay for info about his interaction with Cassie. Speaking to my boyfriend irl (from a real guy's perspective and he has a tumblr here so he may chime into this but...) some guys, like Nate, seek out those details when they're possessive types because it's a way for them to process it. Nate constantly belittling Cassie in s1 and making fun of McKay's interest in her does somewhat stem from a jealous place. He wanted to get into McKay's head about her and numerous times he succeeded in order to push the two of them away. Same with them at the gas station when he's asking Cassie so many questions and he sort of got into her head too. He's jealous, plain and simple. Cassie symbolizes a life Nate wishes he had, a love that's nontoxic and straight forward and structured. With Maddy it's the complete opposite.

Quote directly from Jacob Elordi about Cassie and Nate:

Sydney's perspective on Cassie's attraction to Nate too:

Keep in mind that everything we've seen thus far is a collection of flashbacks, memories, thoughts and real events. For the sake of storytelling, more elements come to light as necessary. So we really only get snippets of how these relationships started and there could be more to it that we don't know or will be revealed later on. Like with Nate meeting Maddy his sophomore year first before Cassie. For all we know, as Sydney suggests they could've had a flirtationship. There's obviously a familiarity there and these characters know each other. Like you said too, at one point he could've made a move on her and she rejected him.

More on the control thing from Jacob:

“I think he has an issue with control and losing one person would mean losing control of them,” Elordi said. “But I think there’s a much more sensitive side to it as well in that… I don’t know if you’ve ever been in love, but I think that state, you store it in your bones somewhere. I don’t think you ever really let go of that love for somebody.”

“I know as a teenager it’s incredibly hard to let something go. And [Maddy has] also known him through all of his bullshit,” Elordi said. “So I think he’s genuinely torn between loving two people. Which is the kinder way to put it.”

Jacob also says at the end of ep 2 in his interview that Cassie is helping develop Nate's character in a way where it does reveal his softer side. Their scene at the construction site just goes to show there's something about her he can't walk away from. Cassie is definitely more supportive and emotional and could bring out better qualities to Nate. Looking back on s1 there's a lot of hints towards Nassie. The pilot with him having her nudes saved, the carnival where he's questioning her relationship with McKay and Cal points and kinda goes hey, get you a girl like her. Cassie finding out she's pregnant and McKay brushing it off and basically guilt tripping her into getting rid of it. She says to him she didn't want to have a baby but she just wanted to dream about it for a moment. Cut to s2 where second ep, Nate is having dreams of what a life with Cassie could be and look like and how much happier he'd be if he had someone like her. They're very much on the same wavelength, I think and aside from Jacob and Sydney's chemistry, I do think it's fascinating to watch.

People are going to hate it and hate them for it. I get it. But, I do think it's necessary and it will be a learning curve either way. Plus, it offers both characters a lot of character development. How else will they grow if they don't make mistakes? I trust Euphoria. I may not always agree with everyone's actions but I love this show. I love the characters, every one of them and it resonates with me so deeply.

Also, I can be a little bias probably lol just because I've loved the idea of Nate and Cassie since s1. I've crackshipped them, rewrote them in AUs and shipped their faces so... that's just me. I'm not saying I condone what they do, how they do it, etc. It's entertaining and interesting to watch.

#answered

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xxkellsvixen19xx · 3 years

Text

Spotlight: A Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Chapter 6

Word Count: 4,766

"This way please," the usher led Colson and Y/N to their table. There were people already seated at the table and Y/N's eyes widened as she recognized some of them.

"Sorry we're late, we had a bit of a stalker situation," Colson announced to the table as he pulled out a chair for Y/N.

"Sweets these are my friends-friends this is my wife. Let's fine tune the details later shall we?" Colson said, as he took a seat next to Y/N.

"Hi," Y/N waved shyly at everyone.

"Dude-you cannot drop a bomb like that and-sorry Y/N I'm Dominic-and this is my heartbeat, Maya," Dom held out his hand and Y/N couldn't help but stare.

"Oh my gosh! Dominic Harrison!" she whimpered.

"That's what she said," Dom and Colson fist-bumped and high-fived each other, laughing. Dom's wife gave him the eye and he winked at her. Dom was topping the charts along with Colson. It was no wonder they were friends.

"Never mind these two delinquents," Maya said rolling her eyes, "I'm Maya and this here is Riley and Nathan her husband."

"Y/F/N Y/L/N," Y/N extended her hand.

"Point of correction sweets- you're now a Baker. I made it official," Colson raised her hand and kissed her wedding ring.

"Duly noted husband," Y/N smiled.

"Colson Baker you're so extra," Maya rolled her eyes again, "I'm going to the rest room, I need a break from all of you," Dom stood and kissed her before letting her go.

"I think I'll come with you, if you don't mind," Y/N said, as she followed behind.

"So how's married life so far?" Maya asked as they freshened up their already perfect make-up.

"Complicated," Y/N said.

"I know but it gets better. Promise," she squeezed Y/N's hand.

"A couple of months ago, I never expected any of this..I guess I will have to adjust with time," she voiced her concerns.

"I know..it took me a bit of time to adjust but Dominic was so patient with me. Just be patient with Colson, he may seem a bit difficult at times but he's a good guy deep down inside. It may be hard now but don't put too much pressure on yourself, just take it one day at a time okay?" Maya reassured her.

"Thank you," Y/N smiled, "I really needed to hear that."

"Do you want to exchange numbers? I might get busy but I can always call you back if you send me an app or something," Maya took her phone out of her bag, "what's your number?"

"You don't have to Maya, I know how busy you are and I wouldn't want to impose-" Y/N protested.

"Y/N, you're one of us now..Colson and Dom are like family..and I know how overwhelming it can be," Maya laid a hand on Y/N's shoulder, "I think you could use a friend who is in the same struggles, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you're right. Most of my friends a still in college and are as clueless as I am," Y/N punched her number into Amaya's phone and she did the same.

"Y/F/N Baker! Can I have my wife back please?" Dom called out from behind the door.

"Same goes for you Maya Eve-Harrison!" Colson voiced.

"You two are incorrigible!" Maya remarked as the door swung open.

"That's why you love me babe," Dom put his hand over her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"What took you so long sweets?" Colson said as he put his hand around her waist.

"Maya was just telling me all your deep, dark secrets," Y/N teased and Colson laughed.

"If you wanted to know all you had to do was ask Bambi. But you would have to listen at your own risk and I would have to put a disclaimer on everything that I told you..plus divorce is not an option," he put a hand on her exposed back and electricity shot through her body, by just a simple touch.

"Colson, we still haven't had "the talk"," she stopped and looked up at him, "I still don't know what we are.."

"Are you hungry?" Colson asked.

"What's that-"

"Yes or no?" he persisted.

"Not really.." she furrowed her brow, wondering where he was going with this.

"Good. We can go and have that talk now. Come this way," he led her out into a dimly lit garden and they sat on a padded bench, in a secluded area.

"We don't have to do it now-I was just-" Y/N started. She had no words to say now that she was presented with the opportunity. she had gone over this conversation so many times in her head but now that Colson was sitting here, right in front of her, staring at her with those intense ocean-blue eyes and angelic face, she froze-mesmerized with how gorgeous he truly was.

"You know what they say Bambi; strike while it hot sweets," he took her hand and rubbed the back of her palm like he usually did. If only he knew how that affected her..her hear was beating against her rib-cage and she was sure he could hear it.

"Let me go first?" he suggested.

"No-let me..There's something I need to tell you first.." she pursed her lips into a thin line.

"You know that you can trust me right?" he tilted her chin up gently.

"Yes..that's why I need to tell you..that..I was once raped by my ex-boy-"

"Y/N stop..you don't have to re-live that whole thing again," Colson held her by the shoulders and saw tears glistening in her eyes.

"Let me..I want to.." she bit her bottom lip, "Don't interrupt okay?" Colson nodded quietly.

"We had been dating for about two years and it was on prom night. We had already agreed that we wouldn't have sex like everyone else had planned but we would wait until after college or whenever I felt I was ready," tears rolled down her cheeks as she narrated the horrible ordeal, "We went to an after party at one of his friend's house since the parents were away-and I only had a couple of drinks but I started to feel woozy and I asked him to take me home, but he carried me to a room upstairs and told me to lie down for a bit."

"Did he-" Colson clenched his fist and Y/N held a hand to his lips and continued. It was obvious that he had used the oldest trick in the book-the date **** drug

"He started to strip off my dress as soon as he locked the door-I tried to protest-to push him off to reason with him..but he was like man..possessed..he had a scary look on his face and it's like he couldn't hear what I was saying.." she gulped and Colson wiped the tears from her face, his heart breaking along with hers.

"I was powerless..he raped me..repeatedly..until I passed out," she shook as sobs racked her body. Colson pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. Never had he felt such intense pain for another human being-he felt like some one had ripped his heart out and beat in with a hammer until it was in shreds. He blinked back tears unsuccessfully, until he just allowed them to slide down his face, uninhibited.

Colson had never felt the need or instinct to protect anyone but that feeling invaded his mind, body and soul right now. He would find the bastard and make him rue the day he saw the light of day. Anyone who caused Y/N such unspeakable pain deserved nothing better than to pay for what he did. Colson soothed her the only way he knew how..he sang.

𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍

𝑯𝒂𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑩𝒆𝒍 𝑨𝒊𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔, 𝒎𝒊𝒅-𝑱𝒖𝒍𝒚

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒅

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍?

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

Y/N looked up at him and smiled through her tears. He wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. She seemed better.

"You're okay?" he asked as he pushed back the loose tendrils of her hair.

"Yes but you forgot to sing the best part of the song," she teased.

"Is that so Miss Lana Fanatic? I can't seem to remember that part though? But since you're clealy a fan maybe you can help me out" he held his chin and pretended to be deep in thought. They broke into laughter and started to sing the bridge together.

𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒏

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕

𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝑭𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒇

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚

𝑯𝒆'𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒏, 𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒔

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏' 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍?

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

( Credit: Lana Del Rey -Young & Beautiful lyrics)

"You're perfect Y/N. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Let's get out of here," Colson said as he stood and pulled her up along with him.

*********************************************

It was the last week of the tour and the last stop was in Brussels. Those that had left during only left Ashleigh and Reggie. Y/N was disqualified from the competition since she was married to Colson. Sommer was obviously eliminated after a month but she stayed on as Slim's girlfriend. Slim was fired but was serving his notice until the end of the tour. He was hospitalized a couple of more times due to an OD but he still refused to go back to rehab.

Sommer was equally hooked but she had brief moments of sanity now and again. Colson had washed his hands of them both and was trying to get his life back on track. He had a few slip ups but they were less frequent.

"Yes Mom, I will be home after the weekend," Y/N said as she spoke to her Mom on Facetime.

"Which home?" Mrs Y/M/L/N asked with slight irritation.

"I-We haven't decided yet," Y/N frowned. She would have to speak to Colson about their living arrangements when they got back home.

"Hmmph..So does that mean you're not coming back to Cleveland? What about school? You're already two weeks behind," she reprimanded her daughter.

"I know-I will catch up okay?" Y/N sighed. She avoided calling her mother nowadays because it always ended badly. Mrs Y/M/L/N had altercations with her daughter every chance she got and it was beginning to take it's toll. When would her mother get over the fact that she was a grown woman and capable of making her own decisions? After all she was a married woman now wasn't she?

"Don't waste your life for-" Mrs Y/M/L/N began to lecture.

"Listen Mom, I've got to go. Love you bye." Y/N slammed her MacBook shut and sighed heavily as she massaged her temples.

"Everything okay Bambi?" Colson said as he climbed into bed with her. They were sleeping in the same bed ever since their heart to heart but hadn't been intimate yet. Colson didn't want to pressure her after confession. He promised Y/N he wouldn't take it to the next level unless and until she explicitly told him so, in her sober senses preferably.

Over the weeks she came close to telling him because it became more and more difficult for her to exercise restraint. Especially when he spooned her in nothing but his boxers, what was a girl to do? Maybe it was time for her to stop throwing subtle hits and just seduce him or come out and say it. He was her husband after all wasn't he?

"It's Mom but let's not talk about it okay?" she fluffed her pillow and faced him.

"I'm all in sweets," he said softly, "You know that right?" he stroked her cheek gently with the back of his hand.

"Yes, but-it's nice to hear you finally say it?" she couldn't help but smile.

"Did you ever doubt it? Did I ever give you a reason to-scratch that?" he shook his head and laughed, "Look I don't know how to relationship because I haven't-what I'm trying to say is you make me better. I'm willing to try to be a better man..for you," he pledged.

"Colson-I want to believe you but-I'm scared.." she revealed, her lips trembling.

"I know baby," he held her head against his chest and stroked her hair, "I'm scared too..I've never done this before and-I'm afraid to hurt you. I would rather die first than to break your heart again," he lamented.

"I don't know if I can trust you with my heart-and yet I still want to be with you," she confessed. Y/N had known this all along but she could no longer be in denial. She was in love with Colson Baker but she wasn't sure how he felt. She knew she was skirting on thin ice by putting her heart on the line, but the heart wants what it wants.

"I've tried to stay away from you-believe me I've tried..but it's like the harder I try the more I'm drawn to you. You keep pulling me in like a magnet.. I can't seem to get away from you no matter how hard I try," he turned to look at her, his blue eyes reflecting a stormy sea.

"Maybe we weren't meant to be?" she whispered, her voice breaking.

"Please don't say that?" he held her face, his eyes silently pleading with her.

"It doesn't have to be this hard," she sighed in defeat.

"Then we shouldn't make it hard," he implored, "let's take each day as it comes. I'm willing to try Y/N...and for me that's saying a lot."

It was after 2am and they had just got back from the airport but Colson felt like they needed to have this talk, sooner rather than later. He didn't want to drag her along blindly, she had a right to know where she stood. If he wasn't certain before he was certain now..he would give this relationship all he had.

"I know..but I don't want to put my heart out there and-"

"I will never hurt you intentionally-or let me put it this way; I apologize in advance and ask for your forgiveness in advance- for anything that I might do or say to hurt you. I'm still new at this so please be patient with me baby? Can you do that for me? For us?" he cajoled.

"Okay..let's give it a try," their eyes met and his lips tilted up involuntarily.

"Really sweets? You're sure? I'm not going to let you change you mind after this. I know I'm a bit intoxicated- but I will remember this." he laughed softly.

She seemed uncertain and he really didn't want to pressure her into anything but all he knew was that he wanted this girl in his life. He would do anything to keep her, even if it meant him making some drastic lifestyle changes. Maybe then she would be convinced about how serious he was about their relationship.

"Yeah. I'm sure," she nodded, smiling.

Although she wasn't certain of the consequences of her decision-and she knew there would be- she wanted to be with him. Against her better judgement she agreed to his terms and she hoped that he was as sincere as he looked.

"Thank you baby..you don't know how much this means to me," Colson heaved a sigh of relief.

"Just promise me that we will always be honest with each other-no matter how painful," Y/N swallowed hard, "Promise?"

"I promise," Colson replied with sincerity as he leaned forward and moulded his lips with hers.

*********************************************

"You need to get up and get ready Bambi," Colson called out from the bathroom, "I need you to accompany me somewhere in the next hour."

"Where are we going this time Baker?" she mumbled as she stumbled out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom.

"You'll see," he smiled and kissed her forehead; before walking out of the room.

"Ahhh," Y/N massaged her temples as she sat on the toilet seat, "My head..."she groaned loudly.

Her head was pounding and she felt like it didn't belong to her. She had become addicted to brufen and alcohol she admitted grudgingly to herself. They had another wild after party after Colson's concert. Tomorrow he was closing off his tour and they would be another party to seal the tour. Life with Colson was a constant party and the only way she could cope was alcohol and more alcohol, day after day, event after event, party after party, night after night.

"We will sleep it off sweets don't over think it. It's not like you have work or school tomorrow. Just let loose okay?" was Colson's mantra for her.

Colson was always the life of the party and always surrounded by people. Y/N had learned the names of some of them but she met new faces almost everyday and she couldn't keep up. A part of her missed home (minus her grouchy mother) and her friends..her real friends. She was kind of relieved to be heading back home on Sunday evening. This lifestyle was draining and it was turning her into something that she's not.

Y/N turned on the shower head and the warm water beat down her back soothingly. She turned around as she heard Colson open door.

"Your outfit is on the bed sweets. Please hurry we're running late," he said said and left quickly. He closed the door and leaned against it. This was harder than he thought and it was the longest he had gone without getting some. This celibacy thing was going to be the death of him.

"Deep breaths Colson," he mumbled to himself before dashing out again.

"Let's go Baker," Y/N tapped on his door and when he didn't respond she went into the room to search for him. She heard someone throwing up in the bathroom so she made her way there. Colson was kneeling over the toilet wrenching his guts out.

"Are you okay babe?" Y/N knelt beside him and rubbed his back. He nodded weakly before spilling his guts out once again. Y/N got a wet towel and wiped the sweat of his face and looked at him with concern. She got water in a glass and gave it to him to rinse him. He rinsed his mouth and collapsed back onto the floor.

"Rain-check?" He groaned as he leaned against the wall. His shirt was lying on the floor; his jeans unbuttoned, leaving his torso in full view. Y/N tried not to stare and concentrated on his pale face instead.

"Yeah-of course," she furrowed her brows, "are you okay?" she absently rubbed his jean-clad thigh.

"I'm-not sweets-I'm not," he shook his head. His face was flushed; beads of sweat were forming on his forehead again.

"Can I drive you to the hospital or something?"she crouched in front of him and pushed his hair back as she felt his temperature, "you're burning up babe!" she exclaimed as she stood up, picked up his shirt from the floor and gave it to him, "we're going to the hospital now-no arguments please,"she said firmly as she helped him put his shirt back on.

"Hmm, you're so sexy when you talk tough Bambi," he drawled.

"It's nice to see you still have your perverted sense of humor," she commented dryly, "Can you get up or should I get Jax?"

"I gave him the day off sweets. It's just you and me today," he scrunched his face and pushed himself up against the wall and staggered out of the room, with Y/N's help.

"Which car are we taking?" Y/N asked as she scanned the car keys lined on the garage wall.

"Ferrari would be fitting for this I guess. The sooner we get there the better-." he winced, his breathing unsteady.

"You're going to let me drive your Ferrari??" Y/N was shocked to say the least.

"It's no biggy sweets. You're my wife aren't you? What's mine is yours," he kissed her softly and smiled.

"Is that so Baker?" Y/N tried not to blush.

"Sure thing babe," he winked at her.

Y/N opened the car door and helped him slip inside. She adjusted the seat so he could lie back and strapped his seat belt. She jumped into the car and smiled at Baker as she drove out of the garage. He winked at her again, squeezing her hand before lying back on his seat. She couldn't believe that she was driving a Ferrari-and not just any Ferrari-it was Colson Baker's prized possession.

"You okay..?" Y/N glanced over at him briefly.

"Yeah.." Colson said with his eyes still closed, his teeth chattering.

"According to the GPS we're almost there," she glanced at him, trying not to panic.

"I trust you baby. Do what you need to do okay?" Colson's body began to tremble slightly as Y/N swerved the car in front of the hospital's entrance, "Can you walk or should I get a nurse to bring a stretcher or wheelchair?" she unbuckled her seat belt and went over to his side.

"No..I think I can manage..just help me out," he stepped out of the car and put his arm around Y/N's shoulder. Fortunately, the hospital wasn't so busy so they were assisted quickly. The nurse led them into the private ward and helped place him on the bed.

"Dr Lander will be here shortly," she announced before leaving.

Y/N sank into a chair by his bedside and took his hand. He seemed to have gotten worse, his face was pale and he was sweating profusely. At least he was in a place where he could get help, she thought to herself.

"Good evening, I am Dr Lander. What can we do for the famous Colson Baker?" the doctor asked as he stepped forward and began to examine Colson, "you must be..his girlfriend?" He looked like he had just graduated from med school and was part of Colson's band.

"I'm his-" Y/N began.

"She's my wife Doctor, so she's off limits," Colson threatened.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, let's get down to why you're here," Dr Lander laughed and put a thermometer under Colson's arm.

"I feel lousy," Colson mumbled.

"Care to elaborate on that Mr Baker?"

"Sweets, can you?" he asked, breathless.

"He was throwing up and is feverish. So I brought him here," Y/N advised, "That's all I got- sorry Doc," she shrugged.

"I think that should suffice," Dr Lander pursed his lips as he began to type on his iPad, "I think it's either food or alcohol poisoning. Have you been drinking a lot?"

"Yeah..we have..," Y/N said, guilt written all over her face.

"I figured," he muttered, "You're on tour right?" Dr Lander asked.

"Yeah," Colson replied, "No lectures please okay Doc?"

"Got it," he nodded, "How about a prescription and a recommendation for a thorough detox?" Dr Lander suggested.

"I think I can work with that Doc," Colson answered.

"Great, let me get you on a drip and get a nurse to prepare the rest of your meds. Sounds good?" he started to set up the drip while he talked.

"Music to my ears Doc," Colson replied.

"Just one last request..you don't happen to have any concert tickets lying around do you? I tried to get but they were sold out on the first day they went on sale," he sighed.

"I can do you a real solid and get you two VIP tickets," Colson grinned at the doctor.

"Really??" Dr Lander gushed, "My girlfriend is going to be so..Wow! Thanks a lot man!" Dr Lander couldn't stop smiling, "let me get your other meds. I'll be right back so we can discuss the concert further."

"Babe- not to be a party-pooper but do you think you will be well enough to perform tomorrow night?" Y/N asked with concern

"I'll be okay sweets. I feel better already actually," Colson took her hand and brushed his fingers over it like he liked to do. She almost lost her trail of thought but she fought to focus on what they were talking about.

"If you're sure," she replied with uncertainty.

"Hey, I'll be okay. Don't worry you pretty little head," he lifted her hand to his lips, "Thanks for caring Bambi," he winked at her.

"Right, I think I've got everything," Dr Lander burst into the room after some time, "I think you can go home with your beautiful wife."

"She's is a beauty isn't she Doc? And she doesn't even know it," Y/N blushed as Colson looked at her pointedly. He sat up as the doctor removed the drip.

"Well at least she has you to remind her constantly and to sing about it too," Dr Lander smiled.

"Thanks for everything Doc. My driver will drop off your tickets tomorrow morning," Colson said as they walked out of the hospital.

"Thanks Colson. I really appreciate it man. I am such a huge fan! My girlfriend too.. You have no idea what this means to me," Dr Lander beamed, "Nice wheels! Wow!" he walked round the car, trailing his fingers on the body.

"If you're not too busy you can join us for the after party at the hotel. We're staying at the Hilton," Colson offered before he jumped into the car.

"I'm so there man! Can I bring my girlfriend along?"

"Of course. I'm going to string mine along as always," Colson smiled at Y/N.

"Great! See you tomorrow then," Dr Lander waved at them as they drove off.

"Are you feeling any better?" Y/N asked Colson, her eyes fixed on the road.

"Yeah, thanks for being here for me sweets. I appreciate it," he squeezed her hand.

"That's what wives are for," she winked at him and turned on the radio.

"Welcome back to 93.3 ALT FM! It's your girl Brinna! Rumor has it that America's hottest heart-throb has been snatched off the market. It's a sad day for the female species-me included... Anyway here's his latest offering simply entitled "She's Got Me"; indeed she has got you on lockdown Colson!"

Tagged: @kellysimagines

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #fan fiction #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader

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jumnthepurestbean · 4 years

Note

Can I request the RFA+Trio with a MC who gets along great with her ex and still meets with him sometimes? See how they handle that. You don't have to do the minor trio if you don't want to tho!

Hi! Again, thank you for your patience! I will try to get through the last remaining asks.

RFA+V, Saeren & Vanderwood x MC who is friends with her ex

Jumin

Okay, so in my headcanon, once MC starts dating Jumin...bean is going to want to know her entire life story.

And he will give his entire life story.

But this will also include past relationships.

Jumin is not so naive that he would assume MC never had any past relationships.

After the events of his route, he learned to not be so possessive and controlling over MC.

...But Jumin will totally want to meet his ex.

MC will have to assure him that the break up was mutal thing and no one was hurt.

MC’s ex is the one who is the most stressed. Jumin is a bit intimidating.

But after getting to know the ex and having Seven do a background check Jumin realizes how good of friends MC and her ex are.

Any friend of MC is a friend of Jumin.

Her ex is still a little scared of Jumin...

Yoosung

Can you say insecure?

Anxiety levels through the roof.

He should go meet MC’s ex and show how he’s her man!

...But what if he’s big and strong and is a totally better boyfriend then he is???

MC PLEASE DON’T LEAVE MEEEEEEE

But MC convinces Yoosung to meet her ex.

They meet at a mall and it is pretty awkward at first.

What really makes Yoosung relax a little is seeing MC and her ex interact. There isn’t that unrequited love feel. They seem more like siblings than anything else

Then the ex mentions LOLOL. They end up talking about that for most of the time.

After the hangout, Yoosung finally asks why they broke up.

MC explains that they made better friends than partners.

Yoosung could accept that~

Zen

So I have been playing around with this idea of my OC being a dancer and ends up being in a production with Zen. I may end up writing this but if not then here it is!

So the production is the “Romeo and Juliet but with Dancing” type of story. Y’know the ones where Juliet is a classically trained dancer where Romeo is more freestyle. This mirrors reality because MC has been trained as a dancer where Zen is self-taught.

MC is Juliet, Zen is Romeo but MC’s ex is the third point in the love triangle. He and MC grew up together, training in the same dance studio. They dated throughout high school but broke up when they graduated because they wanted to focus on their own careers.

Zen discovers this as MC squeals when she sees her ex and runs up to hug him.

Wow, Zen your eyes have gone from red to green!

This makes for a very...interesting rehearsal

Zen is trying to show off his own skills but...he is not the technical dancer that MC’s ex is...

....And they have been dancing for years. Zen knows there is something special about performing, especially with your loved ones.

When they have their break, MC takes Zen to the side and talks him through it.

When the performance is done, everyone talks about how real Zen’s emotions felt on stage...

Jaehee

Probably the most likely out of the RFA to actually have had a past relationship let’s be real

A little insecure about MC and him still being friends.

However, Jaehee and MC’s ex really hit it off.

She’s hadn’t really maintained a lot of longlasting relationships because she has been so busy with school and then working...and more working.

While she is still busy with the baker, she has made it a priority to allow herself free time to spend with MC.

This now expanded to MC’s ex.

She actually really enjoys having a friend outside of the RFA.

While MC is, of course, wonderful and she could not imagine her life without MC, everyone needs friends!

Someone to just have coffee with every once in a while.

Jaehee starts expanding her social pool by finding people interesting in other things she likes, like judo or musical theater.

Listen I just want Jaehee to have more friends, dangit!

Saeyoung

Already knew about the ex.

Seven will tease them about it nonstop when he and MC first meet up with her ex.

Luckily, her ex has a good sense of humor and teases Seven about it back.

It is kind of the normalcy that Saeyoung needs tbh.

Like MC’s ex does not believe the crazy stuff that has happened in the RFA. He’s just like “Saeyoung, you’re a secret agent? Well I’m the queen of England!”

To be fair, some of the stuff that happens in this series is...hard to believe.

He is just such a normal guy that it is kind of nice to be able to chill with him.

Making up for the brotherly relationship he was robbed of--whoops

“That is totally cool, MC”

Narrator: It was, in fact, not totally cool

While he would try to hide it as much as he could, V is a little possessive

His first instinct is just to internalize his jealously and pretend everything is fine.

MC picks up on that real quick.

Finally gets him to express his discomfort.

Explains that they dated in high school and once they went to college, they just grew apart. They are still friends but they do not have any romantic feelings for each other.

Still may not want to be friends with the ex

But calms down a little, especially after MC smoothers him in love and kisses

Saeran

Never crosses his mind that MC would have a relationship before meeting him.

“MC, fairy tale princesses don’t have ex-boyfriends! T_T”

It didn’t come up in MC’s research. It was a very lowkey relationship that did not go anywhere.

However, Saeran has never been in a relationship before and the fact that MC called someone at some point “boyfriend” makes him very insecure.

It requires a lot of explaining about how it was barely a romantic relationship but they still kept in touch.

Saeran doesn’t to hold MC back from having a social life outside of him. However, there is still that linger fear that he isn’t good enough for her.

So it takes some getting used it.

MC eases Saeran in but introducing him to her purely platonic friends and then working her way up to her ex.

I don’t think Saeran will ever be comfortable enough to be friends with MC’s ex but he will respect and trust MC.

Vanderwood

“I don’t approve of this, MC.”

MC: *blink* *blink* “excuse me?”

They have kind of an argument about this.

“What if he’s a spy for the agency?”

“He’s not a spy for the agency.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT.”

“VANDERWOOD!!!”

He’s honestly kind of a brat about it.

“But Vandy he’s my best friend.”

*Vanderwood smirk* “I thought I was your best friend.”

This guy I swear.

Has to be dragged in order to meet him.

Is such a grump :(

#jumin han #Yoosung Kim #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jihyun kim #vanderwood #mystic messenger #mysme

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july-19th-club · 4 years

Note

hi, i am very sorry to bother you, but i am trying to get into The Untamed and i am having a lot of trouble just... understanding it? even its basic premise? i tried watching the netflix show and got really confused and then i tried looking stuff up on the wiki but that was also incredibly hard for me to parse. if it's not too much trouble could you, like... give a very basic summary as if i am a particularly slow child? if not dwbi don't feel obligated to respond! again sorry to bother you

ok i myself am not DONE with the show, but i think i can parse out the beginning of it for you, and the main thing that might help your understanding is that the first two episodes take place in media res, and THEN the next like...twenty or so jump back to give a linear flashback of what happened to GET us to the first couple episodes. so because of the nature of the present-day/WOAH BIG FLASHBACK structure, you’re not meant to know everything that’s going on to start with; there are lots of things in the first couple episodes that ONLY become clear once you’ve gone back and established who the characters are. it sort of plops you right down in the middle of the action and then rolls you all the way to the beginning so as to clarify a few things.

i’ve heard a couple people say that if you don’t want the confusion of this, start with episode three, and then go and watch episodes 1&2 AFTER you’ve finished all the way up to about a quarter of the way through episode 33. this seems needlessly circuitous to me, so instead i will try to give you a basic rundown of the important plot stuff so you’ll know what’s happening in the beginning. after you get to the flashback as episode 3 starts, it’s pretty straightforward from there and things are explained as the action unfolds in order.

BASIC PREMISE: this is a story about two men (wei wuxian and lan wangji) in ancient fantasy china. they’re also each other’s love interests, although due to censorship reasons, this is established mostly via context clues rather than physical stuff. we follow them forward and backward through time as they navigate political upheaval, war, some murder mysteries, and ghost troubles. HERE’S HOW IT STARTS.

a) a young man is seen falling off a cliff to his death in battle. two men are with him; these fellows will become important later. for now, all you need to know is that the guy in white likes him and the guy in blue doesn’t. a scholar narrates the battle in a voice-over, and seems THRILLED that our hero has just died.

b) FAST FORWARD 16 YEARS

c) as the scholar finishes his lecture, we see a very confused man waking up in a very bloody room. this is wei wuxian, the guy that died in the prologue; he’s just been resurrected and tasked with taking revenge on a shadowy figure’s enemies. we quickly learn that he’s as confused as we are. he doesn’t know much except that there seem to be some ghosts possessing people in the household where he’s woken up, and that none of these people seem to like him very much. crucially, none of them know he’s the man that died, however: they seem to think he’s someone else entirely. he takes advantage of this, puts on a mask, and disguises himself so that nobody recognizes him.

d) at this point, we meet several other people who will become important: the crowd of chipper young gents in white who are setting up flags all over the place are “the juniors,” a group of students who specialize in magical fighting skills and exorcisms. at the climax of the episode, their teacher shows up to help them battle the ghosts; he’s the guy in white from the prologue! that’s lan wangji, our second romantic lead. our hero is extremely happy to see him, but doesn’t show his face. ghosts vanquished, our hero leaves town the next morning. so too, does a mysterious figure whose face we don’t see, but who carries a fan and seems to have a lot of gold to spend on scholars telling stories about battles.

e) EPISODE TWO: our hero wanders about the countryside, still trying to figure out why he’s alive. on the road, he meets a crowd of travelers, who provide some background info on the world our story takes place in. our hero experiences a couple weird flashbacks on his way to the temple, including one at a graveyard tended by an old man. the woman we see him imagining? she’s an important figure from his past.

f) OTHER PEOPLE WE MEET IN THIS EPISODE: a somewhat bratty teenager in gold; this is jin ling. he’s a rich warrior, but he’s also an orphan and a bit touchy about it. he’s busy setting traps for demons in the woods, and when he gets into an argument with our hero about his attitude...

g) HIS UNCLE SHOWS UP. this is jiang cheng, and the most important thing about him right now is that he’s the other guy from the prologue - the guy who pushed our hero to his death. this is understandably worrisome, but before he can figure out wei wuxian is alive, lan wangji and the juniors show up and our hero is able to escape.

h) at this point, lots of things happen at once, culminating in the juniors fighting an animate statue and our hero stepping in to help them. he does so via makeshift flute, which seems to be his primary weapon; with it he summons a figure in black who flings some chains around and really kicks ass. he’s another figure from the past, but before we can find out about him, everyone i’ve mentioned sort of converges on the scene and it’s clear at this point that our hero may have given himself away.

i) FLASHBACK TIME. the episode ends with a flashback to many years before, some time prior to the battle in the prologue. our hero is enjoying a stroll through a nice town with two people who we quickly learn are his siblings - a sister and a brother. first mystery solved: the brother is jiang cheng, our cliff-pusher. they’re on their way to school as episode 3 begins, and from there the series follows their adventures as juniors some sixteen+years prior, what they do after school, how the war begins, and why our hero dies in battle. when it’s all said and done, this part of the story takes us all the way up to ep33, when we revisit the battle, now with context. after that, we’re back in the present.

do note that lots of characters have several names and titles, so i can break some of those down and that might clear up some of the confusion as well. i recommend the TVTropes page if you want a breakdown of ALL the titles; it’s pretty thorough and sometimes wikis can be overwhelming. the only ones you’ll need to know from the start tho are these ones:

wei wuxian = wei ying = the yiling patriarch > all same guy

lan wangji = lan zhan = hanguan-jun (his job) > all same guy

i realize this is very long, but i wanted to be thorough for you. if it sounds very confusing, it IS based on a novel, mo dao zhu shi, which i have not read but which you can find online and which i believe does the flashbacks in a more spaced-apart way. i hope this answered your question??? i realize i kind of went for it, but i wanted to give you a thorough recap without too many spoilers.

#the untamed #long post #Anonymous #anon i REALLY hope the length of this post doesnt scare you off lol i was trying to be thorough

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alyssa-orowane · 4 years

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Fantasy tropes to avoid (and ideas to reinvent them)

Hello aspiring writers of Tumblr! How is it going?

This is my first post on here and I decided to dedicate it not only to the genre I am writing in, fantasy, but also to a crucial topic, which relates and affects every genre in different ways.

TROPES.

It's lazy to build stories on something that has already been written a million times before. I don't like tropes at all as a reader. If I wanted to read the same stereotyped story all over again I would just stick to the previous book I have read with that same plot, so I would also spare myself the trouble of learning the unpronounceable names of these new stereotyped characters.

On the other hand, as a writer it might be tempting to give in and use tropes. "Why not? After all everybody uses them and I am already SO busy writing the actual chapters of my story."

I tell you what: every time a trope threatens to slide into your story, crush the page and throw it across the room, yelling:

Seriously, though: tropes are just general, undeveloped ideas. That's what you need to do, develop them. In this way only will you ever be able to unleash their hidden potential.

Without further ado, may I present you three of the most common fantasy tropes and hints to reimagine them.

*Keep in mind that this is only my personal view on the subject and you can either agree or disagree with it.

1. The chosen one

This one is the most obvious one and I am also quite sure that you expected to find it on the list. Interesting, Watson: I guess that it makes this article stereotyped too…

Well we all know those characters. Those characters that were meant to be the one. The prophecies had spoken about them long before they were even born. They might as well be the only one capable of using magic or wielding a certain weapon. This character is either the only one who pushes forward the storyline or that one protagonist who does everything except choosing anything actively in the plot. There is no in between. Either way, they only possess notable qualities. Of course there is no trace of flaws. I mean, they are the hero.

Have a side-kick (or co-protagonist) be the chosen one instead

A great idea, if you really want to insert this trope in your story, is to use it to your advantage and surprise the reader with it. Who could ever expect that the protagonist was actually never the chosen one? Or that another character is the chosen one from the start?

To see this trope well recreated I recommend watching the BBC TV series "Merlin" in which a young sorcerer, Merlin himself, must help the future heir to the throne, the prince Arthur Pendragon, to fulfill his destiny and become the greatest king who has ever lived. Arthur has no clue of what has been foretold, nor that he even is at the centre of a prophecy. All of Merlin and Arthur's choices will determine either the glorious success or the tragic failure of the quest; all of this while Merlin hides his powers from Arthur and everyone else as magic is condemned in Camelot.

2. Overused fantasy Races

...which translates mostly into putting Elves, Dwarves, Trolls, dragons and any of the Tolkenian elements and creatures in your own story. Now, don't get me wrong. Tolkien is one of my favourite authors, hence I am always captivated by those fantasy novels that display these Races in their stories. But I don't want to read a copy, I want to read your own masterpiece.

That's exactly why you should:

Redesign the well-known fantasy Races and adapt them to your world and to your theme or just create brand new ones

Personally, I absolutely LOVE to craft new fantasy Races. I believe that it adds depth and realism to the world-building (which does not consist only of geography). Each civilisation brings their culture, their traditions to your story and that's what makes a world truly breathe. In my opinion, the purpose of fantasy is not to focus just on the epic deeds narrated or on endless battles enriched with magic and legends, though those are very important part of this genre and they must be just as equally developed. The reason why I write fantasy is to spread awareness around the vast variety of themes that coexist in our society nowadays, in the first place global warming, the racism that still today people experience, LGBTQ characters which are often unrepresented both in literary fiction and TV. What better genre than fantasy is there to represent diversity and multiculturalism? On these latter points I will never not be thanking and loving the works of Steven Erikson which are part of the high-fantasy series "Malazan Book of the Fallen". Diversity and the brand new variety of intriguing Races are a huge part of what makes Malazan such an awesome fantasy series. I refer to Steven Erikson as the main inspiration of my writing and I recommend you to give a try to his books, if you have the chance. I warn you though, that it is not any light or easy reading.

The other option might be to reinvent the well-known Races. Tolkien himself did not "invent" the Elves of Middle Earth, rather he made a legend of his own after having studied the myths and ballads of ancient civilities. Then he developed their language, their history and their culture as if they were a real existing population. Every single aspect of Tolkien's worldbuilding can be read in his Silmarillion. I think it is a must-read for anyone who is looking forward to reinvent the traditional fantasy Races or just to know more about them.

3. Unfailing magic systems

Magic can be anything you want. That doesn't mean, however, that it should be your escape point: stuff in your story should happen because of your characters, not only because of magic as it is simpler to put it that way. A magic system should be rational and engaging. The reader needs to be able to understand exactly how, when and why does magic work in your world. No, the answer should not be "because it's fantasy."

Set rules, limits and costs to the magic in your world

How do character gain magic abilities? Is magic accessible to everyone or is it elitist? Is it taught in specialised schools or is it something that resonates from within? Are wizards free to practice magic or is it banned? Or maybe are there only specific areas of magic that are prohibited? What is its source? Does magic come from higher beings or are spells more powerful the stronger the mage's will? Does magic need a catalyst (such as a talisman, a weapon etc.) to be casted? If not, do wizard recite spells? Do they need to trace specific symbols? Otherwise is it necessary to make specific hand gestures in order to release their powers? Does it exist only one system for all mages to use or are there multiple kinds? Last but not least, what are magic users in your world called? It's all up to you to decide. Ask questions and let each question lead you to another one. You need to know exactly how your magic system works and so does the reader.

What I love about crafting magic systems is the freedom to establish the boundaries and the natural laws that apply to your world, as magic is a huge part of the story if you're writing fantasy. Well, this could also lead to another question: is your world actually ruled by magic forces or do magic abilities have just a marginal role in the world building?

Remember that magic should not be used as an excuse to fill eventual plot holes in your story. Your magic system should function correctly and it should always stay true to itself. In other words, it must be believable.

And I can hear you thinking "but it‘s magic!"

Then guess what? You need to make the readers believe that magic is real!

First of all, set the rules, the limits and the costs that apply to your system. Having done that, you'll have finished most of the work that concerns the use of magic in your world. Most, not all. If you are a bit of a perfectionist like I am, consider the importance of developing your system furthermore by asking yourself questions, such as the one I have written above.

Rules: decide what makes your system work and what magic can be casted for.

Limits: decide what kind of tasks your magic system cannot perform.

Costs: decide from what kind of source is magic obtained from and, literally, what does it cost to mages to obtain their magic from this source (as Rumpelstiltskin of OUAT wisely says: "all magic comes with a price.")

The most excellent and well-rounded magic systems I have ever come across are the ones created by Brandon Sanderson in this "Mistborn" trilogy: allomancy, feruchemy and hemalurgy. All three magic system permit the magicians to use a wide range of abilities based on the metals they can "burn". Magic originates in the Shards and from Preservation and Ruin, two god-like beings. If you're already interested, I definitely recommend you to check Sanderson's novels out: they are a useful resource of inspiration.

I hope this post has somehow given you the inspiration to go and write right now.  If you have questions about some of the points or requests for the next articles, don't be shy and send me a message! I will try to cover your topic as soon as possible and as best as I can (and I will also tag your profile, if you agree).  Thank you all for your attention. Bisous^^

#books #fantasy #writing #steven erikson #malazan book of the fallen #bbc merlin #mistborn #brandon sanderson #tolkien #silmarillion #fantasy tropes #writing advice #chosen one #magic system #fantasy races

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whelve · 4 years

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Well, Anti, it seems that the consequences of your actions are catching up to you. So the question is, are you now going to tell your kid that you care about him, or leave him to hate himself for being unlovable? Actually, I don't know why I'm asking. I know the answer already. You're a fucking coward, Anti, and you're pathetically predictable. Why not just let the Narrator take him? Keep him as a trophy on a shelf? He'd probably even be happier.

Anti stops dead in the hotel stairwell.

"What... what the fuck is this?" he snaps, and unconsciously reaches for his hair again, staring blank eyed out a window on the stairs. "Where did this shit come from? You just decided you needed someone to yell at and I was the perfect candidate?"

He tries to take another step, but he's still slightly shaky and nearly falls down the stairs. "Like hell I'd let the Narrator take him," he immediately spits, jolting his fist downwards angrily. "Like hell he'd be happier, the bastard would keep him as a puppet on strings. Do you have any idea what being under his control is like?" Anti's face screws up aa he remembers. "It's awful. He messes with your head and you don't know what's true and what's not, he makes you do this so much that it's hard to tell where the line between him and you ends and begins - and there's no difference, because you're just a Character now, just a toy, a puppet, a prop! You mean nothing when you're in his possession! He hurts you and hurts you and hurts you, and - Shit, how do you think it is for me and Jameson, being the fucking villains of this story? The murderous fae, the killers, the plotters, the ones who get the fucking bad ending? The ones who are supposed to die or suffer?"

He breathes out sharply, suddenly realizing he'd been holding his breath. He's worked himself up, shaking as he remembers, biting his lip with canines that break his skin and make him bleed down his chin. He shudders harshly. He really doesn't look well.

"I," he says, slowly. "am not a coward."

Then he repeats it. "I am not a coward." Again, louder. "I am not a coward. I am not a fucking coward." Anger, entering his voice. "I am not a fucking bloody coward, and you have no, no, no idea the things we've went through! Things we've seen! I've raised this kid for two hundred years, gave up my whole life for him, did everything for him! I gave up -" he shudders, growling angrily as his bones crack. "I gave up my entire nature, I gave up the world for that kid! I didn't have to do shit, but here we are, look at that. Look at that. I loved him so hard that I changed everything about myself to keep him safe. I loved him enough to do that." Deep breath in, and he finds the strength to keep walking, down the stairwell, muttering silently to himself. "I still do love him enough to do that. Every day, I make the conscious choice to stay with him and give him the future that he deserves, somewhere safe. I may seem cruel and murderous and angry and twisted, and don't get me wrong, I am. But I am not a coward. I am not a fucking coward."

He reaches the hotel doors. The kids aren't far ahead, standing just at the side of the road and clinging to each other's hands. Anti pauses, and watches them from afar. Something sad, something bittersweet, twists his expression.

"I am not a coward," he mumbles. "I'm not."

#Character 1.

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mittensmorgul · 7 years

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I don't really like S6 Dean. Despite being right most of the time, he didn't take the time to understand people's motives and was quick to issue ultimatums (cough cough Cas). He was very demanding of others - Sam, Bobby, Cas. I loved soulless!Sam, though. Can I ask for your thoughts/links?

Hi! And yeah, I think this is one of the difficulties with s6. Nearly the entire season is presented from Dean’s pov, with the exceptions of 6.04 (from Bobby’s pov) and 6.20 (from Cas’s pov). We get a rare few glimpses through anyone else’s eyes for the entire season, and it’s sometimes easy to forget that when we’re being told the story from Dean’s pov specifically we are supposed to feel his frustration and anger and desperation and betrayal. Instead I find that people sublimate those feelings, and instead of directing them outward at ~all the shit that put Dean in a place to feel that way~, viewers direct it back AT DEAN HIMSELF, rather than feeling it from Dean’s pov, simply because it’s freaking difficult to internalize that as the main pov of most of the season.

In turn, we find ourselves in Dean’s typical position, of sublimating those negative feelings. *insert that gif from 12.05 of Dean telling Sam that sublimation is kinda his thing…*

I’ve been blarghing in Lizbob’s direction for the last few days about early s6, and she helped me work through this, so the following is loosely cobbled together from that chat. It’s about half me, half lizbob, edited to look coherent. Hopefully. :P

Dean WAS right about nearly everything in s6. Tragically so. Similar to how he was proved right throughout s4 when we previously saw Sam “compromised” by a supernatural influence. He was desperately trying to save all the people he loved from horrifying fates, and they weren’t LISTENING. In s6 it took him six episodes to convince Bobby to help him figure out what was wrong with Sam, because even Bobby didn’t trust him after hiding Sam’s ~aliveness~ FOR A DAMN YEAR from Dean

So it’s not like Dean was in a mood to be patient with people lying to him, keeping secrets from him, or working behind his back, right from the start of s6. In 6x04 Dean reaches out for help but from BOBBY’s POV it’s the last straw on him being needy. So Bobby, Sam and Cas all shut him down pretty quickly.

And Samuel thinks he’s a sissy (Lizbob’s line there for a year.

Bobby did have his whole soul issue, but honestly A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR. He’d known Sam was alive, known that he’d been hunting with the Campbells, known that he’d suddenly and mysteriously returned from Hell with no explanation, and had become Robohunter and that Sam didn’t want Bobby to tell Dean that he was alive and back from Hell.

Like, how much more personally betrayed is it possible for Dean to feel? That Bobby would keep Sam’s resurrection from him when Bobby knew how much Sam meant to Dean. I mean, just a few years earlier Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead, and then went to Hell for it himself. Bobby HAD to know what Sam’s “death” in 5.22 was doing to Dean, and he still chose to hide Sam’s not-deadness from Dean FOR A YEAR because he promised Sam he would.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

So he’s left with what, exactly? The car, and a dwindling and broken relationship with Lisa, BECAUSE of everyone stumbling back into his life in 6.01. Even after Dean started hunting again, Sam still went his own way, did his own thing. Only after 6.03 Did Sam even agree to get back in the Impala with Dean, and only then because his other car had been wrecked when a couple of fighting angels squashed it.

Then there’s all the stuff that was a direct result of Sam’s being soulless. If Sam hadn’t been soulless Dean wouldn’t have been turned into a vampire and not done that to Lisa and Ben, like just for example.

Everyone is SO ANGRY in season 6. And Dean is this lost confused puppy who was just getting over a massive breakdown, and making a small boring safe life. And then every single root cause of his trauma is back within a week. No wonder he’s getting snappy after a while when no one will tell him anything.

He is the lost confused narrator and detective trying to figure out the season. The only info we know is what Dean knows, or what Sam learns post-soullessness that he shares with Dean. And even when Sam’s back he’s not really the narrator because Dean was the sole POV for long enough that every thread is tangled around him.

And we know he doesn’t fully trust Sam right from the start (he’s been drugged with djinn poison and hallucinating Azazel when it’s actually Sam giving him the antidote, and then he gets dosed with djinn poison again), and he sees Cas is acting shady and hiding stuff from him too, and he’s not even sure he can trust Bobby because he’d been hiding all this from him “for his own good” for a year, and he can’t bring this crap home to Lisa and Ben…

From Death asking him about the souls and digging deeper to what is Cas up to, what is Samuel up to, what was Crowley up to, blah blah blah and he doesn’t even want to THINK Cas is up to something.

When Death himself warns you about something Very Serious going on, it’s probably a good idea to take that lesson seriously, but it’s easier to think Cas is a dick than that he’s doing something awful he doesn’t want to tell Dean about.

(sublimation)

But also we, the audience, would rather believe that Dean must be wrong about at least some of this, because OWIE IT HURT to feel this level of betrayal and broken trust and abandonment and horror toward the core family that is practically ALL Dean has ever had in his life. WE don’t want to believe that our beloved Sam, Bobby, and Cas could (whether intentionally or unknowingly) do so wrong by Dean. And yet, he keeps fighting for ALL of them, because they ARE his family, and all he really has.

Then even when Dean earns Sam’s soul back, having played Death for a day and had his first majorly painful lesson in the natural order and cosmic consequences™, he’s still got to deal with the trauma and managing Sam’s reactions to learning the truth of his own “missing year.” Sam kept “scratching the wall” and Dean was doing everything in his power to convince Sam to just leave it alone, on top of everything else he was trying to juggle essentially alone...

So you don’t have to like Dean, or like the way he reacts to all of this, but hopefully this at least goes a little way toward explaining WHY he does what he does. Because really, in s6, Dean was not wrong. He was vindicated by the narrative in the most horribly painful ways.

Sometimes we do the wrong thing for the right reasons, as Cas reminded Dean in 9.10. Cas was speaking from experience, and Dean knew it. S6 was the experience Cas was referring to, having done the wrong thing for the right reasons… all to save one human… I mean… *clutches at chest and falls over*

S6 Dean may have been right about pretty much everything, but egad he wanted nothing more than to be freaking wrong for once. Being right is sometimes the absolute worst.

Just like he was right about John being possessed in 1.22.

Just like he was right about there being no way out of his deal in s3.

Just like he was right about Ruby in s4.

Just like he was right about Cas “acting shady” and Metatron being up to no good in s8.

Just like he was right about the devastating consequences of using the Book of the Damned in s10.

Just like he was right about there being something “off” with Cas after 11.11.

Just like he was right about the BMoL in s12.

(and for me, personally, why I believe he’s also right about Cas being “sock puppeted” by Jack after 12.19, because the narrative– almost entirely without exception– vindicates Dean’s gut instinct about the Big Narrative Arc Issues).

You absolutely don’t have to like Dean in s6. Maybe you’d react to those circumstances in an entirely different way. Maybe you tend to identify more with Sam or Cas and feel a little yanked around by the narrative in s6 because of it. But hopefully you can at least see Dean’s pov here, and even without liking it, maybe at least understand and sympathize with the guy a little. He was having a REALLY awful couple of years there...

#spn s6 #we don't talk about season six #oh DEAN #the scheherazade of supernatural #Anonymous #seriously though why doesn't everyone just trust dean's gut instincts it's like he's got an uncanny magical gift here...

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