#my seulie </3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-casual-kpopfan · 1 year

Text

Our Twilight - Chapter 4

A/N: trigger warning for suicidal thoughts. Everything in this part is all a flashback from what happened in years prior, it will be following the fic as a Third POV.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

MoonVerse

August 9th, 2011

“Come on! We’re going to be late!”

“No, we aren’t. We still have at least 30 minutes to spare.”

“You’re no fun!”

A young Haseul is currently pulling young Min-Joon through the streets, on their way to start their high school life.

“Aren’t you excited for high school?” Haseul asks him excitedly, with a glimmer of joy and excitement in her eyes, to which Min-Joon can only chuckle. “Not really, you know I’d rather not to make any new friends if I can, Seulie.”

“Aw, why not? Making friends is part of the charm from school, you know?” Haseul pouts at your answer.

“Why make more friends when you are enough for me?” Min-Joon smirks mischievously before hitting Haseul (figuratively) with a flirty line, to which Haseul fumbles to even think properly. “Yah! Park Min-Joon!” she blushes furiously “You’ve been reading too many novels!” Haseul yells at him, eliciting another chuckle from him “And you should read more, Seulie~”

With their banter, the two eventually reach the school’s gate, where they happen to witness a… Peculiar pair of students, with the girl lowkey dragging the boy along with her. Even from a distance, Haseul and Min-Joon can hear the girl’s voice. “Yah, Daewon, cheer up! It’s the start of our high school years!”

Min-Joon can’t help but chuckle once he heard that, nudging Haseul “Hey, she sounds like you, don’t you think?” Haseul only smiles brightly, before ditching Min-Joon and running towards that pair of students. “Hey!” and of course, Min-Joon is too late to stop her. (Not like he can stop her anyway.)

Choosing to walk instead of running after her, Min-Joon watches as Haseul runs up to the point, saying something that makes the other girl looks at her with sparkles in her eyes, while the guy behind groans even more.

He then sees Haseul pointing at him, so he takes it as a cue to speed up to catch up to her. “So, what did I miss?” Min-Joon can’t even finish his sentence before Haseul quite literally jumps in his mouth, introducing the pair. “She is Jinsol, and that guy is Daewon, and they are starting high school today as well! Just like us!” Haseul seems to be very hyper to have already found a friend.

Min-Joon, on the other hand, notices the guy behind Jinsol instead, and approaches him, letting the girls talk to each other. “Hey, are you okay?” Min-Joon asks, seeing that the guy looks half asleep, half dead, and very much look like he would rather be somewhere other than here. “Sleepy.” The other guy responds with a delay, looking at Joon with a glare.

“Let me guess, you stayed up late playing games last night, and this morning your friend woke you up early to drag you to school?” With the way the boy’s eyes turn from a glare to a full circle, Min-Joon’s guess was right on the mark.

“Seeing that our friends over there are already getting to know each other” Min-Joon points to a lively Haseul and Jinsol chatting with each other “I think that we are going to see each other more often.” The other boy nods at that. “My name is Park Min-Joon, but you can call me Joon, what’s your name?” Joon offers a hand. “Hak Daewon, call me Dae.” The boy now known as Daewon, takes Joon’s hand.

“See! I told you they would be friends!” The two girls walk over to the two boys, giggling. Joon only shrugs at that, while Daewon grumbles about something underneath his breath. “Come on! we need to get our schedules, and I don’t want to be late on our first day!” Jinsol says while grabbing Daewon’s arm, dragging him in while waving Haseul goodbye.

“They’re kind of odd, aren’t they?” Joon comments, looking at the pair “Like you’re one to say, Mr. I-stay-up-all-night-to-read-a-book.” Haseul snickers “Guilty as charged, heh.”

Haseul then starts to enter the school while Joon is just standing at his spot? Seeing Haseul making friends so easily stirred up something inside of him that he can’t find the words to describe, because, somewhere deep in his heart, he just wants him to be her only friend. (If only he knew back then, what the feeling was.)

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” Haseul notices that Joon is still standing at one spot, making her go back to him. “Promise me, you won’t leave me?” Unconsciously, Joon blurts out those words. He managed to cover his mouth, but it was already too late. However, “What are you saying Joonie?” Haseul bursts out laughing “We’re best friends, I will never leave you.” She smiled at him brightly, making him think for a second that her smile was like the sun, warm and bright.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

--------

September 10th, 2012

It’s been a little more than a year since Joon and Haseul started high school, and things have changed quite a bit. As expected, Haseul and Jinsol got a lot closer, prompting the two boys to talk to each other quite frequently as well. As it turns out, when he isn’t sleep deprived, Daewon is a pretty cool guy to hang out with.

The four of them become more of a group, almost always seen with each other. The girls gain looks of attention and admiration due to their appearances and kindness, while the boys receive glares of jealousy from the other boys from being friends with Haseul and Jinsol. Neither Joon nor Daewon care about that though, and even actively taunts the other guys as retaliation.

However, as fun as it might be, Joon and Haseul doesn’t spend too much time together as they usually did, due to a difference in their classes and club schedules, with Haseul partaking in choir club with Jinsol, and Joon joining the library committee, as predicted by Haseul.

Nonetheless, things are working out, and all 4 of them seem to fit in with high school life by now.

“I want to be an idol.”

Halfway through their lunch break on a particular dull Wednesday, Jinsol drops a bomb on the table. “I’m sorry, I lied. Both me and Haseul want to be idols” Jinsol corrects herself after receiving a glare from Haseul.

“What made you think that Solie?” Daewon questions his best friend as this came unexpectedly. "Don't pretend that I didn't notice you playing SNSD songs, Dae" Jinsol glares at him.

“I don’t know what you mean!” Daewon denies these claims, although Jinsol takes his phone and unlocks it with ease since she knows all his passwords and opens his music playlists. “Mhmm…” As she scrolls through all SNSD.

"Just give up, she knows you more than you do at this point." Joon casually sipping on his juice, not really bothered by the news.

“Okay Mr. Cool, Haseul could you please?” Daewon looks over at Haseul who’s also holding Joon’s phone who has SNSD wallpaper. "Hey, when did you even get my phone-" Joon is bewildered that his phone magically appeared on her hand.

“Black magic!” Daewon is well aware of the women sorcery.

Joon groans at that, while Haseul snickers and hands his phone back to him.

“One more second…” Jinsol mumbles as she’s setting Daewon’s wallpaper to a picture of them when they took it in the summer after their first year.

"Solie!” Daewon is powerless in front of Jinsol at this point. “I’m the only pretty girl you need!” Jinsol hugs Daewon after giving his phone back.

“Yah! I’m going to be an MV director! I’m going to meet real pretty girls” Daewon raises his fist in the air with stars in his eyes.

"Good luck with that" Joon shrugs, finishing his lunch.

Joon really not feeling impressed with this idol talk while Haseul just stays silent for the rest of the lunch period.

Knowing Haseul for a long time, Joon knows something is up. "Are you okay?" He nudges her as they are on their way to the next class, which both of they attend

“I’m okay Joon.” Haseul smiles and tries to reassure him. "You can hide it from everyone, but not from me, Seulie. We've known each other for too long." Joon glances at her

“I’m just tired of studying, I’m fine!” Haseul wraps her arm around his, trying to convince Joon that she is 100% okay

Joon isn't entirely convinced by it, but he drops it nonetheless "I'm always with you no matter what, Seulie, remember that" He instead pats her on the head, smiling gently to her, a gesture he rarely does at school since he doesn't want there to be any misunderstandings.

“I know Joonie.” Haseul smiles slightly as a response to him, leaning her head against his arm

“I know…”

Later that day

“Hey, do you think they are serious about becoming idols?” Dae asks Joon, the two guys hanging out together at the arcade due to the girls having club.

“Probably, Haseul joined a youth choir in elementary, she then got so hooked on singing that she studied opera in elementary as well. Be careful.” Joon says as the 2 guys are blasting through hordes of zombies on a rail shooter game, with Joon saving Dae due to the guy being distracted by their conversation.

“Seeing that both her and Jinsol share a passion for singing.” Joon continues “They really might become idols.” Joon chuckles. “Ah, that makes sense.” Dae nods his head absentmindedly as the 2 guys blast their way to the final boss of the game without even realizing it.

“It’s not like you won’t meet Jinsol again if she does become an idol though.” Joon continued the conversation. “What do you mean?” Dae glances at him. “Didn’t you say that you’re going to be a MV set director, tch, pay attention, you just lost a life.” Joon groans, trying to focus on the boss fight. “If you become a MV set director, you can still work with her, yes?”

“Huh.” Dae becomes silent for a while, completely ignoring the game at this point “Why didn’t I think of that?” “Dumb ass” Joon scoffs. “Then what about you?” Dae turns the question around “If Haseul becomes an idol, are you going to find a job near her as well?”

Joon turns silent at the question, giving enough time for the boss to land a blow, landing them a ‘Game Over’ right at the edge of game completion, to the dismay of the observers around them.

“I… Never really thought of it.” Joon slots the light gun into the holster, stepping aside for others to get their turn at the game, with Dae following him. “I always know Haseul loves singing, and she might become a singer at some point, although…” He falls into contemplation. “I’ve never given much thought about it.”

Feeling slightly guilty for bringing his friend’s mood down, Dae attempts to lighten the mood “It’s ok man, it’s still a faraway future, we can’t say anything for sure.” Dae puts an arm over Joon’s shoulder, shaking him slightly “Besides, I’m sure you and Haseul can’t be apart for long anyways, and you know that.”

Joon can only chuckle, remembering the times when Haseul dragged him out for something that she could have done herself. “Fair enough” He shrugs. “Now…” Dae glances at the time on his phone. “It’s about time their club activities are finished, what do you say we head back?”

“Sounds good.” Joon nods, leaving the arcade with Dae.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, bro.”

--------

June 6th, 2013

“Aw, don’t look so down, Joonie, I’ll only be gone for a year~”

Despite his best effort at poker face, Joon can’t help but be sad at the sight of his best friend about to board a plane to the other half of the world, away from him.

“Who said I’m down? Without you, I can finally read in my free time.” Joon still tries to put up a brave front, to the exasperation of his aunt, and his friends, Jinsol and Dae.

“Does it kill you to just show your emotion? Damned kid” Joon’s aunt ruffles your head “The library is going to be real quiet without you, Haseul. Do your best over there, yeah?”

“Thank you, auntie, I will” Haseul smiles, before being embraced by Jinsol “You better come back, yeah? We still have our dreams to fulfill” With a strong hug, Jinsol lets Haseul go while trying her best not to cry. “Good luck over there, we’re going to miss you” Dae smiles fondly, patting Haseul in her shoulder. “Of course! Who do you think I am?” Haseul snickers at him.

Meanwhile, Joon watches them all silently, letting them have their moments, until Haseul turns to him. “I’ll improve on my English, mark my words!” Haseul points at him in a dramatic way, puffing up her cheek, inciting a snicker from him “Mhmm, I’ll be waiting.”

Haseul then suddenly pulls him in for a hug, mumbling something only for the two of them to hear “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my promise, I won’t leave you.”

Just as suddenly, she releases him from her hug, a bright smile plastered on her face “Did you know? We say goodbye for now, so that we can say hello to each other again. So, I’m definitely coming back, because this is where I belong.” For Joon, her smile at that moment is brighter than even the sun itself, bright, warm, and full of hope.

And with that, Haseul follows her aunt into the boarding station, gradually disappearing amongst the crowd of people, with Joon trying to find her silhouette until she can’t be seen anymore.

“You’re finally being honest to yourself, you brat” His aunt seems to snicker, as Joon’s eyes turn blurry from the tears that he’s been holding in ever since he heard that Haseul’s going to leave.

“You better keep your promise…” Joon mumbles to himself.

--------

September 11th, 2013

“……”

“…. Joon.”

“…. Joon…”

“PARK MIN-JOON!”

With a deafening shout, Joon snaps out of his stupor, looking up at the owner of the voice “You need something?”

Dae lets out a sigh as he sits down next to Joon. “Are you ok?” Dae looks at Joon worriedly “Duh, I’m fine, what do you mean?” Joon raises his eyebrow

“Bro, you didn’t join me and Solie at our usual table, opting to sit outside. Also, lunchbreak is almost over, yet you barely touched your lunch” Dae points to the sandwich that Joon’s been holding ever since lunch started.

Joon lets out a single ‘oh,’ before looking down on the ground, not even bothered to eat his lunch.

“Look, I know you miss Haseul, we all do, but you can’t be like this, you know she won’t like it when she knows you’re being like this” Rather uncharacteristically, Dae scolds Joon for neglecting himself, despite being scolded by Jinsol in a regular basis for the same reason.

“I know, it’s just…” Joon lets out a sigh “Never mind, I’m sorry for being like that, just give me some time alone for now” Joon stands up and walks off, leaving Dae sitting there, looking at the guy.

“I know they are close, but I never thought it would be this close…” Now it’s Dae’s turn to let out a sigh.

Surprisingly enough, a few days later, Joon begins to return to his normal self again. Although, for Jinsol and Daewon, they know that he’s just trying his best in order to not let Haseul down. But seeing their friend behaving normally after months of being down, they are content with Joon trying his best to be happy again, even if his best friend isn’t here for now.

--------

December 7th, 2014

On a typical winter day, with snow covering almost everywhere, most people would rather stay at home, wrapped in a warm blanket while enjoying a cup of hot cocoa. However, Park Min-Joon is not ‘most people.’

Ever since early in the morning, Joon has been up and running, being too excited to stay still. “Kid, calm down, looking at you are walking around like this is making me dizzy” Joon’s aunt scolds him.

“But today-”

“Yes, Haseul is coming back today, but her plane isn’t landing for another hour, so would you please calm down, dear nephew of mine?” His aunt interrupts him “I made you some hot cocoa, so it would be wasteful to not drink it, hm?” She slides a mug to his usual spot at the table, the steam coming up from the mug indicates freshly made hot cocoa, perfect for weather like this.

“Fine….” Begrudgingly, Joon takes a sit at the table and sips it “…Thank you auntie” “Don’t mention it kid” His aunt ruffles his head gently with a smile.

The two of them sit there in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying their hot drink in the chilly weather, that is, until….

Ding Dong

“Oh…did you order takeout, auntie?” Joon asks his aunt while looking at the front door. “Let me get it” Before his aunt says anything, Joon is already up and on his way, entirely missing the mischievous smile that his aunt has….

“Hello?” Right as Joon opens the door, expecting to see a delivery man, what he sees is entirely different. A petite frame, wrapped in a bundle of coat and scarf. Black, slightly wavy hair, down just pass her shoulder, pair with her mesmerizing brown eyes and a charming smile.

Her smile.

“Surprise!” It’s none other than Jo Haseul, standing in front of his doorstep, completely catching him by surprise, as shown by the completely befuddled expression on Joon’s face

“H-huh?”

“Did you miss me so much that you turn stupid?” Haseul giggles at the state of her best friend. “B-but your flight was supposed to land an hour later!” Haseul only smirks “Hehe, I lied about that, I wanted to give you a surprise, and looking at you right now, it’s safe to say that my plan worked” Haseul smiles proudly and satisfied, finally getting a leg up over Joon.

“Well, you’re not going to invite me in?” She says innocently, with her cute puppy eyes that snaps Joon out of his daze. Groaning, he steps aside for her to come in “You got me this time, Seulie”

“Hehe~” Haseul giggles as she heads in, greeting Joon’s aunt with a quick hug.

“It’s nice to see you again, Haseul” “It’s nice to see you too auntie”

They then head to the kitchen where they proceed to chat with each other, catching up with what’s been going on, completely forgetting Joon who is still at the door.

“Seriously, I’m her nephew, not her….” Joon grumpily complains, mostly to himself, before closing the door then joining them at the table, not really saying anything else besides enjoying Haseul’s presence again after so long.

Soon enough, Joon starts to space out listening to the conversation, like he usually does these days, when Haseul isn’t around to pull him away.

“Joon?” hearing her say his name is enough to snap him out of it. “Yeah?”

“Can we get some rest? I’m still kind of tired…” Haseul yawns slightly. “Aren’t you talking with auntie?” “What do you mean? Auntie left like, 5 minutes ago” Haseul raises an eyebrow.

“Oh….”

“Joonie, are you sick?” Haseul starts to get worried “No, no, I’m fine, I just…tend to space out a lot nowadays I guess” Joon shrugs. “Really? I don’t really remember you spacing out back then though” Haseul tilts her head confused. “Well, I never had the time to be by myself with you dragging me around almost all the time” Joon snickers, patting her head, causing Haseul to laugh slightly as well.

“True enough….” Haseul lets out another yawn, stretching her arms. Wordlessly, Joon lead Haseul up to his room, with Haseul following him obediently. “Wait, your parents know you’re staying over here, right?” “Of course, they do”

Reaching Joon’s room, Haseul takes a few minutes to look around “It didn’t change much, huh” “Well, I don’t see why I would change it, you helped with the decoration after all” Joon shrugs, preparing the bed for Haseul, unaware of the look in Haseul’s eyes when she hears that “Feel free to use my bed, like usual, call me if you- oi!”

Not letting Joon finish his words, Haseul tackles him onto the bed, hugging him tightly “Be careful! I almost hit my head onto the bedhead!” Joon complains, yet Haseul stays uncharacteristically silent.

“…Seulie?” Joon notices it, switching his tone to a gentler one. Haseul mumbles something, barely noticeable for Joon if it wasn’t for the fact that Haseul is hugging him: “I kept my promise.”

Joon lets out a scoff, despite the big goofy smile on his face, as he puts her back gently.

“Welcome home, Seulie”

Joon doesn’t receive any answer to that, but he feels a nod from her head, rested against his chest. And for him, that’s all he needs to know.

The reunited pair of best friends gradually fall sleep together, cuddling and clinging to each other.

--------

May 6th, 2015

“Please Joonie, please, please, please~”

“Seulie, you already know the answer….”

“But! It never hurts to actually try, you know!”

Dae is just sipping on his juice as he watches Haseul bugging Joon for the past hour. “Uhm, why is she bugging him like that?” He leans to the side and whispers to Jinsol. “Oh, there’s a singing contest happening soon nearby, and teacher recommended Haseul to join.” Jinsol answers while fiddling with Dae’s phone, changing his wallpaper into different pictures of her and the group.

“Ok….and how does that relate to Joon?” His question earns a sigh from Jinsol “She wants him to join with her as a duet, of course” Daewon finally connects the dots, much to the annoyance of Jinsol. “But he can’t sing though?”

“According to Haseul, he can, he just doesn’t like to” Jinsol goes back to messing around with Dae’s phone. “Well, he doesn’t really join us on our karaoke hangouts, so make sense I guess.” Dae takes a few minutes to remember to all the times Joon reject going to the karaoke with them.

“Please.” Haseul now hits Joon (figuratively) with her puppy eyes, knowing that Joon cannot reject her with that. “Urgh, that’s cheating!” True to form, Joon crumbles underneath her puppy eyes “Fine, I’ll join your contest, only this time, okay?”

“YES! FINALLY!” Haseul bear hugs him “You won’t regret it, Joonie!” “Yeah, yeah.”

And with that, Joon starts to join Haseul in her room that evening, finding a song that they could perform for the contest.

“How about we do an English song?”

“Why?” Joon seems genuinely confused

“Because I’m pretty sure everyone is going to do SNSD songs, and I want us to be different!” Haseul cheerfully replies to him.

“Mhmm. Are you confident in your English?”

Haseul rolls her eyes “I lived for a year in America, of course I am!” She then browses through the selection, before selecting a song “How about this?” “This song!” Joon looks at Haseul skeptically

“Yeah! I listened to it all the time when I was abroad!” Haseul smiles at Joon brightly.

“Would it work?” Joon plays the song on her speaker

“It’s ok, we can figure it out as we go” Haseul hums with the song, already making some kind of notes.

“Alright then.” Since he has already agreed to it, Joon decides to do his best as well. Anything for her.

From then on, Haseul and Joon spend a lot of time together after school practicing for the contest, with Haseul fixing Joon’s unhealthy habits in order to improve his singing voice.

“Joonie, I believe you can be a singer someday if you want to.” Haseul comments during one of their practice sessions. “Why do you think that?” Joon raises an eyebrow, chugging his bottle of water. “Well, you already have good foundations, minus the few bad habits, you even know how to use your diaphragm, despite rarely singing at all, are you sure you aren’t practicing behind my back?” Haseul smiles teasingly, poking his cheek.

“No, I read about it in a book from the library, and tried to use it whenever I exercise, so it became a habit.” “That explains why you look thinner!” Haseul exclaims, feigning shock. “You’re not my Joonie, my Joonie would never go exercise without me dragging him, what have you done to him?!” She points a finger accusingly at him, although her giggle is betraying her real intention.

“Because when I exercise, I wouldn’t miss you as much.”

“Do I need a reason to be fit?” Once again, Joon covers up his real reason with his brave front, managing to successfully fool Haseul once more. “Well, it’s good that you’re more conscious about your body now, Joonie~” She pokes his abdomen through his shirt. “Keep this up and I might fall for you~” Haseul smirks at him teasingly, turning Joon’s face slight red. “W-what are you doing?!”

“Hehe, just joking~” Haseul smiles brightly.

“Don’t joke like that!” With a flustered face, Joon looks away “People might get misunderstandings!”

Haseul rolls her eyes at him. “I don’t really mind that, actually…” She thinks to herself but decides not to say anything about it.

Days gone by, both of them practice almost every time they are free, and it’s been fun, really fun. For Joon, he realizes singing isn’t as bad as he thought it would be, and when Haseul is by his side, everything is good, everything is right. As long as she is with him.

For Haseul, just the fact that she got Joon into singing is good enough for her. Her best friend, her favorite person, doing the activity that she loves the most with her, what more can she ask for? Well, there is one more thing that she wants to do with him, but for now, she is content with this. As long as he is with her.

Two weeks later…

Here they are, hours poured into their practice, for just a few minutes of standing on the stage, a few minutes where the spotlight is on them, and them only, thinking about that make Joon extremely nervous, despite the fact that he’s been trying to hide his nervousness under his usual calm façade.

And of course, his façade doesn’t work for Haseul, whose hand is patting his shoulder gently “Deep breaths Joonie, don’t worry, we can do this.” With a gentle smile and her soothing words, she manages to calm his nerves down a bit.

“I just hope I don’t screw it up” Joon lets out a shaky laugh, his hands intertwined with each other, thumbs fiddling and pushing against each other in an expression of nervousness.

“I know you won’t, Joonie, trust me” Once again, Haseul smiles gently at him, reassuring him that everything will be fine.

“Look, it’s our turn now” Haseul catches the announcement, gently pulling Joon up, and away from the waiting room, and onto the stage, into the spotlight.

With her.

For a moment, Joon can’t really hear anything around him.

Sure, he can make out somewhat that Haseul is introducing the both to the judge’s bellow. He can see Dae and Jinsol sitting in the audience seats, bickering at something, like they usually do. But this moment feels surreal to him.

He looks at Haseul shining brightly on stage, talking with the MC, and he has a small revelation in his heart. One that has always been right in front of his face, but he has never had the courage to look at it directly.

Haseul belongs to the stage, the spotlight, the attention. It is her rightful place, and she deserves all of it. And there’s no place for him next to her once she’s there.

Thankfully enough, Joon snaps out of his stupor at the sound of music, the piano notes leading gently into Haseul’s part.

(A/N: the italic part in the brackets indicates Joon as backup vocal for Haseul, the bold italic part indicates their inner thoughts)

“Love that once hung on the wall,

Used to mean something, but now it means nothing”

When her voice fills the auditorium, everyone turns silent, she demands attention with her voice, and she gets it.

With every single syllable coming from her lips, she slowly lulls everyone into her dream, her own world. Joon almost fell into a daze as well, but he remembers that he has a mission to do here, and that is to make sure Haseul gets the spotlight she deserves.

“…Oh, there isn’t one thing left you could say,

I’m sorry it’s too late”

So Joon does what he is here to do, he joins in at the chorus, harmonizing with her vocals, alleviating her gentle voice with his warm, low tone.

“I’m breaking free from these memories

(breaking free) (these memories)

Gotta let it go, just let it go

(let it go) (let it go)

I’ve said goodbye, set it all on fire

(Goodbye, set it all on fire)

Gotta let it go, just let it go

(let it go) (let it go)”

Both harmonize at the last note, as his low voice compliments neatly for her high note, creating a perfect harmony for the ears.

After the chorus comes Joon’s turn, not that he has anytime to panic, he just jumps straight into it. Just like how they practiced.

“You came back to find I was gone

And that was empty, like the hole that was left in me”

For Haseul, all she could think about at that moment isn’t about how she is finally on stage, doing what she loves best. But rather, how smooth, and gentle Joon’s voice really is.

For all his reasoning about not wanting to sing, her friend really has a talent for it. Haseul smiles lightly as she takes a brief glance at him. Her dream hasn’t always just been her and Jinsol becoming idols.

What if….

“It's not that you meant to me”

What if Joon becomes an idol like her as well? Wouldn’t it be great?

“Thought we were meant to be”

What if he could stand with her on stage just like this?

How awesome would it be?

“Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say

I'm sorry it's too late”

Haseul almost misses the next part, being too deep into her thought, but thankfully they manage to harmonize again for the chorus, captivating the audience once again with their synchronization.

Now comes the final part, the duet, where they sing together, where they practice a lot, all their efforts rest at this moment. Their eyes lock sight of each other, like they are having a conversation just to themselves.

“I let it go…” “I let you go once…”

“…And now I know”

“I know, it’s ok”

“A brand-new life…” “But I’m back”

“…is down this road”

“So, this is our new ‘life’”

“Where it’s right….” “It’s right when we are together”

“…you always know”

“Always have been”

“So, this time…” “I won’t leave you anymore”

“I won’t let go!”

“I’m never letting you go”

At the audience seats

If Dae had any doubts about Joon’s singing, they are all dispersed now with that performance Joon is having with Haseul. “Holy shit….” Jinsol can only nod silently to that, being equally shocked as well. “A voice like that and he refuses to join us in karaoke…” Dae mumbles grumpily somewhat, to which Jinsol ignores.

However, at the moment that Haseul and Joon finish their performance, Jinsol immediately pulls Dae backstage, where they wait until Haseul and Joon come back to the backstage, after receiving the applause that they absolutely deserve.

“You guys did great!” Jinsol pulls both into a hug, squealing “Oh my god! I really can’t find a way to describe it, it was so…good! Even though it was in English.” Jinsol is still hugging both. “Also, yah! Park Min-Joon! I’m dragging you to every karaoke session from now on!” to which Joon only shrugs.

“Excuse me” Suddenly, a voice comes up behind them.

All four of them turn around to see a man wearing a formal suit, with a polite smile on his face “Can I talk to you guys for a bit?” The man gestures to Haseul and Joon, both looking at each other for a bit, before Haseul agreeing to meet him, and gently peel Jinsol off them.

“I’ll see you guys in a bit, ok?” Haseul smiles, pulling Joon with her as they follow the man into a nearby room.

“Who is he?” Dae raises an eyebrow quizzically.

“Maybe… A scout?” Jinsol wonders “For real?” Dae snaps his head, looking at Jinsol “After a performance like that, why are you so surprised?” Jinsol glances at him.

“…Yeah, you’re right…”

After a while, an excited Haseul bursts out of the room, followed by a calm Joon, closing the door behind him before approaching them.

“So?” Both Dae and Jinsol ask simultaneously.

“We got scouted!” Haseul hugs Joon excitedly “We’re going to be idols, Joonie!”

“Congrats!” Jinsol jumps in joy, hugging Haseul as well, making Joon also bear the force of her hug along with Haseul’s. “Girls… Can’t breathe….”

“Oh, sorry!” Both girls release him from their hugs, turning to hug each other instead. “This causes for a celebration!” Both of them skip away to their favorite snack spot, leaving the two boys behind.

“Heh, it looks like you know what you’re going to do in the future, huh?” Dae pats Joon’s shoulder, to which Joon turns to smile at him…

Now, despite them only being friends at the start due to the girls being friends with each other, Dae and Joon quickly grew to be close. Close enough that Dae can tell that Joon’s smile never reached his eyes. Instead, he looks more somber and contemplative rather than excited and happy.

“What’s wrong?” Dae turns worried

After a few moments of silence, Joon finally answers:

“I’m…”

“I’m not going to accept the offer.”

--------

A few days later…

Joon hasn’t been able to meet Haseul ever since the contest.

Given that she won first place, and was even scouted as a trainee, she should be happy. However, upon hearing that Joon isn’t going to join her as a fellow trainee. Haseul’s attitude change a whole 180

She ditched them midway through their celebration, and decided to give Joon the cold shoulder, even in school.

Seeing that, Joon can’t help but be hurt about it, but still decided not to reach out, to give her space for herself.

He can see that his decision affected her a lot, thanks to the fact that her eyes almost always look bloodshot, and puffy.

What else can he do, though? Joon thinks to himself. He is not meant to be on stage, he is not meant to be in the limelight, to be the focus of attention, to be-

Ding Dong

Well, this seems oddly familiar.

He knows that, beyond that door is Haseul, and she is here demanding to know the reason why he refused.

Steeling himself, he opens the front door to indeed see Haseul, looking tired with puffy eyes, yet with a stern gaze.

He lets her in silently, then walks to the kitchen where he prepares a drink for her and himself. The two of them now sit at the kitchen table, sipping on their drinks in awkward silence.

“Look, Seulie.” Joon decides to speak first, not wanting this silence to continue anymore.

“Why?” He is cut off by Haseul, her eyes looking directly at him. “Why did you refuse?”

With a heavy heart, he decides to tell her the truth. “I’m not fit to be on the stage, Haseul.”

“Then what about our performance?” Haseul’s strained voice, clearly due to her crying a lot, breaks his heart into pieces.

“I joined, because I didn’t want to disappoint you, Seulie. Also, because it is only a one-time thing, which was why I agreed” Joon tries to explain slowly for her.

“Then our time practicing together, you didn’t enjoy them?” Haseul looks at him with a sad gaze

“Of course, I do Seulie, of course I do.”

“Then, why?”

“B-because I’m not suited in the stage, Haseul!” Joon finally lets out his real thought

“That stage is yours, Haseul. All the spotlight, attention, all-all the love and affection from the audiences, which was all for you, Haseul, not for me” With each work Joon utter, he can see Haseul looking even more sad, but it’s too late to stop now.

“It’s your dream to become an idol, Haseul… Not mine.” Joon begins to choke on his words.

“I-I don’t want to be stuck doing something I don’t like…I-I just wanted to stay besides you….”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU AGREE? WE WOULD BE TOGETHER IF WE JOIN AS TRAINEES!” Haseul stands up with a glare at him, a glare void of any real anger, but filled with sorrow and pain.

“BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE ONE, I WAS NEVER ONE FOR IT, ONLY YOU ARE SUITABLE FOR IT!” Haseul’s anger fit seems to trigger Joon’s as well as it’s his turn to raise his voice now.

“THEN WHAT ABOUT OUR PROMISE?” Haseul isn’t holding back her tears anymore, as she glares at him with tears running down her cheeks.

“YOU MADE ME PROMISE TO NEVER LEAVE YOU, THAT’S WHY I WANTED YOU TO JOIN ME” Haseul yells at him, before her voice turns strained, broken like shattered glass, each piece impaled themselves into Joon’s heart. “I’m keeping my promise, so why is it that you’re the one leaving me….”

‘Haseul, I- That’s not what I meant!” Joon at this point has also lost control of his emotion, his tears rolling down his cheek.

“We’re done, Min-Joon” Haseul glares at him. “I don’t want to see you ever again.” She abruptly leaves the kitchen, and goes out his front door, before Joon gets the chance to say anything else.

“Haseul, p-please, listen to me! I-” Joon is almost begging her to stay, but it’s too late. The front door has already been slammed shut, just like his connection to Haseul. “Seulie… Please.” He breaks down sobbing on the floor like a baby losing its toy. Minus the fact that Haseul was never just a “toy” or a “friend” to Min-Joon.

She is more than that.

She is his first love.

And now, he has lost her.

--------

December 8th, 2016

It’s been more than a year since their argument.

Joon has lost every contact with Haseul, his messages were never returned, calls he’s made always end with a beep. He can’t even see her now, since she moved into the trainee dorm right after their argument, not wanting to see him for a second longer.

It was hellish for Park Min-Joon.

His grades started to plummet, and he began to skip classes, to the constant worries of his teachers and friends alike. He retreated into his room, refusing to go out for weeks at a time.

His once fit body became frail, and he lost all motivation towards improving himself.

Without Haseul, Joon loses his guiding light, and it seems like he is spiraling further and further down into depression.

“Kid? Joon?” A knock on his door, the voice sounds like his aunt’s. Everything is blurry to him now, he has a tough time recognizing her voice, it’s not like he cares anyways.

“I left you some food in the fridge, ok? Please eat, I’m worried sick about you. Even Daewon has been visiting more often, please at least meet him once, ok?”

Joon makes no effort to respond to her.

“Ok, I love you kid….” Coupled with the sound of footsteps, Joon is sure that his aunt has left for the library.

Daewon.

Joon hasn’t seen him in a while, nor does he want to meet with him. Apparently, Dae is really going to become a MV set director to work with Jinsol, who was admitted into a trainee program. “Good for them, I guess.”

Looking at his friends, Joon curses himself for being so…weak. So helpless. So pathetic. Wouldn’t it be better if he wasn’t alive anymore?

Joon’s attention turns to the bottle of sleeping pills sitting on his bed desk.

With just a chug, everyone will be rid of the baggage that is him. Sure, they will cry and mourn for him, but in due time, he will be forgotten.

Just like how Haseul has forgotten him.

Just as he reaches for the bottle though, his phone’s screen turns to life with a blinding light amongst his dark room, with a notification.

Joon was about to dismiss it, until he sees the phrase ‘Haseul’ in the notifications.

He immediately checks it. Turns out it’s a message from Daewon.

“Look, Haseul is debuting soon. I don’t know if you’re reading this, but I think you would want to know.”

Attached to the message was a twitter post from a page titled “Girl of the Month (Loona)” with its content being to tease the debut of someone, with a picture of her, with her face hidden.

Joon instantly recognizes the girl as Haseul and realizes that her dream is about to come true.

“Then what about me?” Joon thinks to himself.

After a while to think for himself, he decides to dial her number yet again, hoping she would pick up so that he can congratulate her. Only that he is met with the cold robotic voice: “This number is not available.”

“Heh… Haha… HAHAHAHAHA!” Overwhelmed with sadness and sorrow, something seems to snap inside Joon, making him laugh out loud almost manically.

Haseul…

She left him a year ago to become an idol, and now that she’s about to debut, he has to know about it through their mutual friend.

A strange anger seems to be ignited within him.

“So, I’m not worth anything in your eyes unless I become an idol like you?”

Joon thinks back about the argument they had a year ago.

“Fine, two can play that game” Joon grinds his teeth in anger.

“I’ll become even more famous than you, you will have no choice but to notice me again”

Joon stands straight up, the flame of anger and revenge burns bright in his eyes.

“Watch me, Jo Haseul. I will make you notice me again.”

--------

April 21st, 2017

It’s already past midnight.

At this point in time, most people would have been buried inside their blankets, resting after a long day of working.

However, Min-Joon isn’t most people.

At this ungodly time of night, when everyone should be resting, Min-Joon is still practicing hard.

“Niga hamyeon da majneun mal-i dwae, niga hamyeon nan igiji moshaneunde”

Besides the music, all that can be heard is the sounds of footsteps when Joon moves with the beat of the song, and his heavy breathing.

Due to his exhaustion, his movement ends up sloppy, and he trips on his own feet, falling face first onto the floor. “… Fucking…” Min-Joon grunts, trying to get up on the floor to no avail thanks to him practicing endlessly ever since morning.

For the past 4 months, Min-Joon has been busy. He started going out and working out again, to the delight of his aunt. However, Min-Joon decided to drop out of high school, to the utter surprise of everyone who has ever known him.

When asked about it, he refused to say anything, except for his aunt, and Daewon, that he is ‘going to be an idol.’

And with that, Joon dedicated his time into building up his body once again, focusing on maintaining a fit physique with lots of stamina, like the ‘male idol’s ideal body.’ Afterwards, he focused on his vocals, relying on YouTube and the internet for free lessons to enhance his singing voice. (He resolutely refused to apply Haseul’s old teaching, unless it was mentioned in a video or article.)

After 3 months of upgrading himself, he directly applied for trainee at Polaris, the parent company of Blockberry Creative, the label that Haseul was contracted with. After an audition that was, frankly, quite easier than he thought, he was admitted as a trainee, under the nickname of ‘MJ.’

Thanks to him having already prepared himself beforehand, Joon quickly got recognized for his talent, and became one of the top trainees in the company.

Though he wasn’t good enough to debut quite yet, they told him that with his efforts, it would be soon.

That was a month ago.

Currently, Joon is lying on the floor of the dance studio, exhausted and sore, yet determined to practice more, to the point of overworking and potentially harming himself.

“As expected, you’re still here.” A feminine voice rings out from the entrance, prompting Joon to turn to the door. “…Instructor-nim….” He manages to croak out with a tired voice.

“Aish, didn’t you just have your evaluation the other day? Why are you pushing yourself so hard already?” His dance instructor walks over to him, before sitting down. “I had a conversation with the other instructors this morning, and they were all amazed by how much you progressed in just a month.” She says to him, patting his back.

“I get that being a trainee is unforgiving, and strict. But it isn’t worth potentially harming your body just for it.” She gives him a stern look.

“I’m fine, instructor-nim” Joon manages to let out a small smile as he struggles to sit up next to her, his arms, and legs trembling. “…Mhmm, say that to your shaky arms and legs” Of course, there is no hiding that from his instructor.

The instructor watches as Joon slowly sits crossed leg on the floor, his posture hunching forward, causing his sweat drenched hair to cover up his eyes, making the instructor unable to tell what kind of expression Joon is making.

“Tell me, MJ” The instructor lets out a sigh “Why are you doing this?”

Joon looks up at her with a confused expression. “To become an idol, of course-” “Not that.”

“Eh?” Joon eyes the instructor weirdly. “I’ve seen many trainees with a burning conviction to become an idol, but they have something that you lack.” The instructor’s gaze turns sharp “You lack the passion, MJ” Joon’s eyes turn downcast as he listens to his instructor’s words.

“I’ve spent a lot of time teaching others how to dance, so I can tell what their personality is based on how they dance.”

The instructor takes out a can of beer from her coat’s inner pocket. “And I can see that you do not enjoy dancing.” She cracks it open and sips from it. “Your body might memorize the moves quickly, but your movement lacks a sense of purpose, you’re just dancing because you need to, not because you want to.” She then turns her gaze back to the silent Joon, smirking slightly.

“Did I hit the jackpot?”

Silently, Joon offers a small nod at her words.

“Then, why do you want to be an idol?” The instructor leans forwards, her eyes glued to him. “What is it that you need to do so much, that you’re willing to break your body for something that you don’t even enjoy?” Her voice’s filled with curiosity.

“I’m sorry instructor-nim, but I can’t tell you.” After a long while, Joon raises his head to look at her, his eyes filled with…something, something so strong and deep, it sends a chill down the instructor’s spine.

“...Fine, if you still insist on being an idol, who am I to stop you?” She decides to give up on her curiosity. “However, I do not want to see you harming yourself like this again, or else my evaluation for you will drop, got it?” She eyes him with a glare.

“Thank you, instructor-nim.” Joon bows deeply, expressing his gratitude.

“I’ll talk with the other instructors, take tomorrow off” Finishing the beer can, his instructor stands up “Eh? But practice?”

“Will be move to the day after, your body clearly need rest, after you put it through the ringer.” She smirks at him. “Don’t worry, the other instructors won’t mind, trust me.”

“You don’t have to.” Before Joon got to finish his words, he is interrupted by his instructor “I do, and I will.” She looks at him “How long do you expect to last, when you’re harming yourself like that? Think about the long term, won’t you?” Her eyes softened just a tad bit. “I have no doubt that you can become an idol, but try to enjoy yourself while you can, ok?”

“This is the only time I’m covering for you, MJ. There won’t be a second time.” Her final words as she leaves the dance studio, leaving Joon alone with the music still playing on loop from the speakers.

“…Enjoy myself huh….” Joon mulls over his instructor’s words.

“Unfortunately, I can’t do that, instructor-nim….” Joon slowly stands up

“Not until I meet her again.”

After some time, Min-Joon decides to get some rest. After all, his instructor is right, and he should take care of himself more. Joon chuckles to himself, thinking back to his aunt, who would also act similarly to his instructor.

“I should give her a call” Joon mumbles to himself as he cleans up and leaves the studio for the dorm, finally getting some rest for the day.

--------

November 20th, 2017

And so, time goes by. Days, weeks, months, Joon fully devotes himself to training, improving, molding himself into the ‘perfect idol.’ With a great body, flawless looks, and gentle personality, he gradually wins the hearts of the instructors and fellow trainees alike.

He still isn’t good enough to debut as an idol.

But he is close, oh so very close.

He can see her again, he can flaunt that he is a better idol than her, and then, she will have to look at him… right?

Why is it that the closer to the goal, the more he feels… sad?

For the past months of his training, Joon has witnessed many things. He witnessed the harshness of a trainee’s life. Being unable to eat what they want, always having to watch their diet, to the point of almost malnutrition. He witnessed the intensity of the training, nothing that he couldn’t handle, but certainly too much for trainees who have never had any kind of preparation.

How many times has he heard the cries of trainees coming from the bathroom?

Trainees, who always had a smile on their faces, but were also suffering, and for what?

It didn’t take long for Joon to realize: It was their dream.

No matter what, they wholeheartedly, genuinely want to become an idol. They were inspired, and they wanted to stand on the stage. Because it was, no, it still is their dream. They learn to enjoy the dancing, the singing, learning how to make their presence known. They take everything they have learnt, and they still enjoy it, no matter how harsh it may be.

They can endure everything if it means their dream can come true.

If so… What about himself?

The trainee MJ never found any enjoyment out of singing or dancing. He never wanted to become an idol. Everything he did for the past months….it was only for Haseul to look at him again.

And if she does… What’s after it?

Is he going to continue to be an idol? Doing something that he’s never wanted to do?

If he became an idol just to see her, then quit once she’s acknowledged him again, won’t he just be breaking their promise once again?

“What am I supposed to do….” Joon mulls to himself, sitting on his bed at the dorm.

Today’s a rare day off, and everyone has either gone out to relax, or get some more sleep. The only one awake in the dorm right now is him.

With nothing else to do, Joon absentmindedly plays some random videos on YouTube to distract himself from his thoughts.

However, not even on YouTube can he escape, as the next video that plays is a Loona video. More specifically, it’s Haseul.

“Great….” Joon considers turning off his phone and gets some sleep, but for some reason, he can’t bring himself to turn it off, his eyes immediately glued to Haseul as she was on her way to airport for some sort of abroad filming.

Before Joon even realized it, he binged through many Loona TV episodes.

Watching Haseul interacting with her fellow members, how happy she is that she was chosen for Loona. And Jinsol! or should he say, Jinsoul, now? She also managed to become an idol as well, debuting in the same group as Haseul.

Watching both together again brings back memories for him. Memories of a time long past, of how they were always together as a group, studying together, causing chaos together…

Seeing Jinsoul inevitably cause Joon to remember about her male counterpart, Daewon as well.

It’s been a long time since he’s met the guy, both barely communicate via texts and calls. Part of Joon is surprised that Dae still replies to his messages. From what Joon knows, Dae has been very busy as well. Is he pursuing his dream of being a MV director?

Then, what about himself?

Unbeknownst to him, tears have already streamed down his eyes as he lays on his bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling.

“Why am I doing this….” He mutters to himself.

Haseul and Jinsol pursued their dream, and they were successful. Their fans love them, with the ‘Girl of the Month’ project certainly creating a lot of hype and appeal for them. However, that doesn’t deny the efforts that the girls put in.

They really, truly love being an idol, and are determined to be one.

Then, there’s Daewon, whose dream is to be a MV director so that he can work with idols, and to an extension, Jinsol.

Joon can’t help but chuckle to himself. With how much Dae gush over Jinsol in the chat, to the point that he intentionally sets his dream to be close to hers, one would think that he’s in love with-

…

Wait.

Joon sits up from his bed abruptly, looking like he’s just found out the secret to the universe.

Well, Joon really did just find out the answer for frankly, a lot of things.

Love.

Daewon definitely loves Jinsol. The hints are all there, even if Dae refuses to admit it. They might start as friends, but with how close they really are, it’s a no brainer that eventually, Dae would fall in love with Jinsol.

Then… Joon thinks back to his past.

Did he love Haseul?

Or more importantly, does he still love Haseul?

Joon takes a moment to compose himself, sifting through the memories of their past, his actions, his motivations, his mindset. And he arrives at his answer quickly.

Yes, he still does.

Who frequently pulled him out of his house to go out and play? Haseul.

Who showed him that there were other interesting stuffs besides reading? Haseul.

Who was willing to stick by his side, although he can be a prick at times? Haseul.

Who never failed to pull him into activities, afraid that he would be left out? Haseul.

Who helped him find new friends to talk with, such as Daewon and Jinsol? Haseul.

Who, besides his aunt, was always by him when he was grieving for the loss of his parents? Haseul.

Who was there for him when he needed it the most? Haseul.

Who kept their promise? Haseul.

Who broke their promise? Himself.

That’s it.

There’s no stopping the crying from overflowing now.

Luckily enough, Joon was fast enough to run to the bathroom and locked himself there. He can’t have others questioning him after all. Even if no one is currently awake right now, he doesn’t want anyone to see him vulnerable.

Once Joon is sure that he’s alone, tears start to fall uncontrollably from his eyes, as he slumps down onto the floor, sobbing quietly to himself.

Hic. “Haseul…I-I’m…sorry…” For the first time in a long while, Joon loses control over himself. No longer the charismatic, charming yet somewhat aloof trainee MJ, who excels in everything. Now lies a sobbing Park Min-Joon, a mess of a human being, someone who realized what he had actually lost, yet it was too late to make any amends now, so he does the only thing that he can do.

He cries.

He sobs for the fact that, he never realized his feelings for his dear friend, and only realized it too late, even thinking about revenge on her for abandoning him.

It took him this long to realize it, but there’s no way he can deny it anymore.

He loved- no, loves Jo Haseul.

Always have been, always will be.

--------

April 25th, 2018

“What, you are going to refuse the debut offer?”

“Weren’t you the one who told me that I’m not suited to be an idol, instructor-nim?”

“Aish, that was… Aigo, you’re driving me mad, MJ!”

“Sorry, instructor-nim”

At the rooftop of the building, Joon and his instructor is having a conversation about his debut, however, everything is going very weird…

“Then why did you even practice that hard?? You wasted all that time, and for what? You’re just going to back down, just like that?” To say that his instructor is irritated is an understatement, as she is hearing Joon say that he is throwing away all his hard work.

“… I thought long and hard about my purpose to be here, instructor-nim.” Instead of answering her, Joon seems to talk about something entirely different.

“I thought I was doing the right thing for myself, being here and all… It turns out, I was wrong, like always.” Joon lets out a self-deprecating smile. “You were right, instructor-nim. I have neither the passion, nor love for this profession.” Joon pauses for a bit, gathering his thoughts. “I thought that if I manage to become an idol, I will gain someone’s recognition, and they would finally look at me again.”

“MJ…”

“But… I realized that isn’t the case here. I realized that I was thinking too shallowly, and nothing is going to turn out the way I want it to. That’s just how life works.” Joon’s smile turns melancholy, before he stands up and bows deeply to his instructor.

“Thank you for looking after me all this time, instructor-nim. I won’t forget the lessons you gave me.”

His instructor can only stares at him silently, before her expression softens “There’s nothing I can say to change your mind now, can I?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve already decided to quit.” Joon stands up straight again.

“Fine, then go do what you need to do. You’re really irritating, you know that?” Rolling her eyes, his instructor shoos him away, to which he complies. Just as he reaches the door, however…

“…Wait” His instructor calls out to him before he leaves the rooftop. “Yes, instructor-nim?”

“At least tell me your real name, damn brat” Joon chuckles lightly at the tone of her voice.

“It’s Min-Joon, Park Min-Joon.”

Seeing that his instructor is going to say anything, Joon says nothing besides bowing to her for one last time before leaving.

“Min-Joon huh, you were good kid… Real good.”

Afterwards, Joon has…quite a tubulous morning, with him rejecting the debut and leaving the company. However, somehow, things managed to smooth it out somewhat, with Joon leaving his dorm with his backpack and suitcase.

With a deep breath, Joon takes in the fresh air, and for the first time in months, he feels free and unburdened. No longer was he MJ, the perfect trainee. Now, he is simply Park Min-Joon. He may not be as perfect as ‘MJ’ is, but strangely, he’s fine with that.

“First time I talk to auntie for a while, and I asked her for a large sum of money….” Joon thinks back to his aunt, who graciously helps him with the contract cancellation. “Hopefully, I can survive her rage.” Joon chuckles to himself, humming as he makes his way back home.

--------

June 5th, 2022

“Kkum-eun anilgeoya meolis-sog-eun bogjabhae,

neon naleul aljanh-a Oh yeah”

It’s been 5 years since Joon left the trainee/idol dream behind. It took him a while to regain his bearings, but somehow, he managed to do it.

Given, it was rough for the first year. Besides Joon himself trying to at least finish high school, he had to manage his old relationships once again. His teachers and his few friends, who were disappointed that he left. (except for Daewon, as somehow, that guy has already forgiven Joon.)

And then, there was his aunt, who, despite everything he did to her, still managed to accept him back again. Safe to say, both Joon and his aunt cried their hearts out that day.

They spent the next few days catching up with each other again. And Joon cursed himself for neglecting his aunt, for taking her for granted. So, he decided to help her in her work, managing the library in the town, and learning the works so that he could one day replace her to be the librarian of this place, just like how his family did it for many years.

And so, years have passed since then, and Joon is currently managing the library alone, to let his aunt rest. She absolutely deserved it, after the past hectic week of people coming to borrow books and studying due to it being exam periods.

That was last week though, for this week, the library is…unexpectedly quiet, so much so that Joon can play music on his phone, and no one will complain, because there is no one here besides him.

“Nae ma-eum deulkilgeosgat-ae yeah yeah,

neon tto nal deul-eossda nwassdahae”

Currently, his phone is playing ‘Not Friends’, with him being too engross in the music, failing to notice someone coming in…

“Ne nunbich-e simjang-i meomchwo,

Not tryna talk Just tryna kiss ya”

Besides Jinsol’s heavenly voice, a sudden familiar voice chimes into the song, although the voice is so out of tune that it snaps Joon back to reality.

“Fucking hell?” Joon turns around to see Daewon, his best friend, standing at the counter smirking at him. “When did you get here?”

“Just now, I see that you’ve really taken a liking to Loona, eh?” Dae wastes no time teasing Joon. “I don’t know what you mean, I’ve always been interested in them.” “Yeah, yeah, keep talking….”

Despite the bantering, the two friends let out snorts, clearly enjoying each other’s presence.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Joon turns off the music, leaning against the counter.

“Nothing, just feeling like visiting you” Dae winks at Joon, causing the guy to fake gagging at it.

“Tch, this guy. You should be grateful that I still remember your sorry ass and visit you regularly.” Dae huffs at Joon, to which Joon bows at him grandiosely in an act of sarcasm. “Yes, yes, you’re the best, I’m the worst.”

“… I saw Haseul recently” With his next sentence, Dae causes Joon to drop his act immediately. “Is she doing well?” Joon’s voice turned soft, a stark contrast to his attitude to Dae just now.

“Of course, she is….” Dae looks at his friend’s melancholic expression. “Do you want to see her?” he asks, surprising Joon. “Why would I want to see her?”

“Look, I know you guys didn’t get a proper closure back then, and it hurt you guys greatly.”

Dae leans against the counter “You took a year off training your ass of to be an idol, only to drop it before you actually became one, and Haseul. She seemed to have forgotten about you.”

Joon winces slightly at the mention of this. This isn’t the first time they’ve talked about this. Apparently, some trauma, if sufficiently severe, can cause the recipient to lose the memory of that incident as a coping mechanism. It just goes to show how big of a mistake he made back then…

“Are you sure you don’t want to meet her? I can definitely arrange for you to be at the backstage.” Dae offers Joon, hoping that he would see his friends reconcile again.

“I’m sorry Dae, but I don’t think I can.” Joon mutters silently.

“Why?”

“If you truly love something, you got to let it go” Joon smiles lightly to Dae, a smile that Dae knows is fake.

Well, it’s not like Dae hasn’t anticipated this situation though, that’s why he has a plan B.

“Fine, but as compensation for this, you are helping me with a show I’m working on right now.” Dae immediately switches topic, to which Joon happily obliges “Sure.”

Unbeknownst to Joon, however, his action that day would serve to be the catalyst for him and Haseul’s reunion days later…

#loona #loona fic #haseul #jo haseul #male reader #fanfic #kpop fanfic #MoonVerse

82 notes · View notes