#my posts are never sponsored i am giving them MY money
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Do you love detective stories but hate cops?
Do you love gay detective stories and hate capitalism?
Like disabled main characters who's disability actually comes up?
Like characters of color but not in the mood for stories on racism?
Tempted by the thought of romance at ages of 30+?
Does the idea of stories so queer you'll hesitate before calling any character a "man" or a "woman" make you think "Ah, yes pronoun shenanigans, just like my discord used to make"
And you into an abundance of strong, diverse female and nonbinary characters?
Do you fight for women's wrongs?
I know rep-only recommendations can be annoying, but I'm trying to grab your attention to promote some Indie media. Luckily, though, this post isn't rep-only!
To read my full reccomendation and review of Three of Hearts, click below. ♦️♥️♣️♠️
And if you aren't in the mood for a new thing right now, consider reblogging! Maybe even ping a friend who might be into this! You love supporting queer indie creators!
Note: I am not involved with the making of the show or the game space Kings. I just really like this podcast.
The story
♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ centers on two paragovernmental agents in a fantasy, post-war, queernormative 1950s.
Roughly 20 years before the opening, a set of heroes purged magic from the world to turn the tide of the war. But scraps of this thaumaturgic energy still remain. S.U.I.T.S (securing unpredictable injurious thaumaturgic situations) is an agency founded to deal with everything left behind.
When two of the longest standing employees at S.U.I.T.S, Agent Vellum and Agent Felspar, are called onto a new case involving stone crops and a missing person, Felspar isn't surprised (Though Vellum, who's injury had him doing desk work most of his career, is). Things devolve quickly when the Agents realize this case comes from Felspar's home town of Cloven heart, an idyllic magical village that prefers to handle justice on it's own.
Answers yield only more questions, as the Agents realize almost everyone in town has something to hide, and Felspar isn't the only one whose past keeps catching up to him:
How much magic is still around? What's Vellum got sloshing around in there that people think is so juicy? What is Diamond, elven pop star and queer icon, doing in such a small town? Just how big is this case, and how can the Agents balance their legal responsibility, with promises they've made to Cloven Heart?
WHEN. WILL. THEY. JUST. KISS?
(if you're skeptical about central romances, I get it! See notes on aro/aceness and platonic relationships in the rep section for more info)
The combination of magic and newfangled war tech — think telegrams and radios — is somehow just as charming as a rotating cast of characters who will each stake their claim on your heart, but betrayal is imminent and mistrust is rife. The story strikes a wonderful balance between slice of life goodness, and edge-of-your-seat high drama, culminating In a show I highly recommend.
But are they just reskinned cops: my answer has got to be no. While they are technically law enforcement, the main two are entering a commune-like space, where that isn't so welcome. It's a situation they treat with caution and respect. The classic cop-plot of "Should I make myself judge, jury, and executioner because The Bad Guy™ deserves punishment" just isn't a problem. The justice system isn't perfect, in our world or the show's, and the story acknowledges that. But in a social, cultural way, they don't act like cops. They DO act like detectives. But the rules they choose to break and the ones they choose to follow will hopefully satisfy my fellow cop-haters who crave a good mystery
The format
♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ is an Indie actual play — this is not DnD, hear me out — podcast in the game Space Kings. All the tension of dice rolls, without drawn out combat or clunkiness, it's a breeze of story-forward listening, even if you've never listened to actually play podcasts before!
If you've tried dnd actual plays, and haven't like the flow of them, I would recommend trying this. A few encounters that may feel random (though they're not) get the story kicked off at a fast pace, but it quickly settles into a story with a tight plot, great pacing, and impactful character development.
The use of a playing card deck to see the outcomes of risky actions means that no matter what happens, success or failure, the tension keeps rising. And the hosts do a wonderful job of explaining mechanics in the show, so it never interrupts the listening experience.
Actual-play connessuires who want to primarily see people playing a game might not be satisfied, as bonuses are given liberally, and I would describe the podcast as more story focused than game focused, But the risks are ALWAYS real, sometimes (often) with thrilling, shocking outcomes.
Also concerned AP listeners should know there's some chaos magic involved! I was surprised when it first came up, and doubtful about how it might affect the story, but it ended up weaving into the rest of the plot really well, and I feel neither like it had no affect, nor like it shook up everything the party was building in an unsatisfying way. Personally I would have preferred to go in knowing it was there, but I also don't think it's major enough to belong in the main synopsis. Now you know, though!
The hosts make a real effort to blend stats and story, and I think the pull it off wonderfully without spending too much time on mechanics. If you want to see that though, session 0 and other details are on the Patreon (where you get the same content no matter how much you pay, at a minimum of a dollar a month).
The pod has all the lighthearted fun and banter of a "friends around the table" show, but never once have I had that "oh my god, I'm not a part of your inside joke, shut up and play!" Feeling.
I think it's a delight for AP and non-AP fans alike.
The episodes: roughly 45- 75 minutes long, with a midtro and some post-end music scenes, so listen through the end music, or check that there isn't extra content by seeing how close the play head is when the end music starts. It's not too long and quite pleasant in my opinion! The midtros always come at a nice moment to step back from the story, and are not too long and not irritating. I enjoyed listening to them! At some point, a midtro starts getting reused, and I was slightly disappointed I wasn't hearing new jokes every episode, but it's a small thing. I skip the repetitive ones with my 30 seconds forward button, and while I haven't timed the Intro, that's worked really well for me. I don't have to fiddle with my play head to make sure I don't skip forward too far. Super convient.
Trigger warnings: the show is pretty lighthearted! Listeners sensitive non-graphic mentions of needles, blood, and/or guns might want to skip on this one, but most episodes don't get heavy. The few that do have pre episodes notes that warn you things get dark, how they get dark, and how to skip the darkest bits. Personally, I listened through them and enjoyed those parts a lot! But if that's not your thing, I agree with the warning that they're very skippable, and I think trigger-sensitive listeners will be pleased. As an indie pod, there are no fan made, super specific lists of triggers. However, my DMs are always open if you have particular concerns, and I'll answer to the best of my ability.
I try to emphasize the balance between lightheartedness and drama, but if you mental health is sensitive to grim & dark media, i think this one is pretty safe. Please always exercise caution! But I'd describe 30♥️s as emotionally restful.
Transcripts: transcripts are in the works, but do not currently exist. Three of Hearts is a non-scripted show, so those are also unavailable
The rep
Don't you hate when someone raves about rep and you go in expecting something good and get like. One dog-boy described as having "chocolate colored skin"? Or when people make a "watch for rep" post and then mention like. Gay and maybe trans people and that's it, even when shows DO have disability and POC rep? Yeah that's not me. Here's the spoiler free rundown, race is at the bottom because I get into more detail with it, not because it isn't important:
Edit: For more on some of these topics from a hosts perspective, see the reblogged addition by @/citrusandsalt
MLM characters: Main characters, one confirmed bi the other unknown
Wlw characters: Reoccurring side characters (present or mentioned in every episode I think) Married. Orientation unspecified.
Enby love: LOTS. It's actually hard to really categorize mlm and wlw stuff because almost every character is nonbinary. Anyways— it's VERY queer
Women: I...I don't know exactly which characters are women 😂. But there are many feminine characters, and they're badass as fuck. Some are compassionate, some are cold, some are chaotic, most are a mix! The two main characters are...masculine...(I say with much hesitation) but you will not feel robbed for your woman-ly content.
Non-traditional family structures: All of the families in the story, pretty much, are non-traditional. Adoption is super common. (You want some wlw who just KEEP adopting kids? You got em) Found family is a MASSIVE force in the story. Also, It's a post-war story.........which is to say almost everyone's parents are dead.
Edit: an MC had poly parents, which may not be obvious but is true!
Polyamory: to my knowledge so far, there are polyam characters, and it is definitely present in the world! But no poly relationships in the forefront. I am about 2/3 through the current episodes, so there may be a present polyamorous relationship later, but also if I confirmed it that would be a spoiler. This may be that "playing it by ear" thing that happens with ttrpgs. I wouldn't listen for the hope of polyamory alone, but I don't tell you it's not there/won't happen.
Trans characters: almost all of them. Might think "oh there are only a few!" And you are wrong. You are so wrong.
Neopronoun users: yup! To my knowledge, minor characters. A handful who use at least he/she/they or they/them and may also use neos in a manner im forgetting
Plurality: no system characters yet, but the creators are friendly, I asked ;)
Platonic relationships: YES. As an aro person who hates so many romance tropes this one gets my stamp of approval. There's no real jealousy drama, exes who communicate and are supportive, and romance doesn't kill friendships. There's a central sibling relationship and non-familial platonic ones that have conflict, drama, resolutions, and a deeply satisfying significance in the story. If you don't like romance at all, this one might not be for you. If you just don't like stories exclusively about romance, I think you'll enjoy this. Genre wise, I'd definitely describe three of hearts as a mystery primarily with a strong romantic subplot, not a romance itself, and that comes through in player and character's additives and priorities.
Aro/ace characters: none confirmed yet to my knowledge. Romance is very central, sex is joked about on occasion but it isn't at the forefront of the story at all. There are many, single characters who are thriving.
Edit: Actually! There is one character who discusses demiromanticism in cannon that I forgot, and another confirmed out of cannon character who is ace. Both are non-main major characters!
Age diversity: the youngest characters in the show are older to middling teens, and the oldest are in their 400s. Okay but the oldest in human terms are roughly 60-70. The most common age range, and the ones the central characters are in, is 30-40. The second most common is that 60-70, then some ~40-50 folks here and there, with people in their 20s being probably the rarest (no named ones off the top of my head?) And there are a small number of teens. This is not a story about youth and youthful beauty. Generally, the older a character becomes the most bad ass/spooky powerful they are, and older characters are very involved in the plot.
Mental illness and neurodivergency: to my knowledge so far no characters are in cannon confirmed to have a specific mental illness or ND, though I wouldn't be surprised if it was part of a character or the main characters, and just hadn't come up. Listeners with cluster b or "scary" disorders, or with conditions that may cause them to lash out, will find satisfaction with how compassionately the narrative treats werefolk. To say more encounters spoilers. I would also say that depression, while the word isn't used and it is not central to the story, is present as a narrative force, and also treated wisely and with compassion. Still, as is usually for a good story, all of these bitches need therapy.
Disability: LOTS. There's a lot of "different, not broken" themes that disabled listeners are likely to love, but both of the main characters are disabled! One is a cane user, the other experiences migraines. These have a genuine, pressing, mechanical impact on the story. It's COMES UP. It's a real joy. For a magical world, there is no magical healing! Or there is, but it isn't a perfect solution, which in my opinion is just a magical version of real healing, though yours may differ! Also, there is a minor, reoccurring character who's a wheelchair user, and I think he's really fun.
Disfigurement: Excuse me if I am not prepared with the most sensitive way to speak about this, but I'm doing my best! There is a character with no eyes or nose, who is central and lovely. To my knowledge, there are no amputee characters or characters with limb differences (of the wheelchair user I'm not sure if it's specified whether or not he has legs). There is a character of questionable morality who has significant facial and bodily disfigurement. In as few spoilers as possible: this was not injury or genetic related. The disfigurement is treated with a firm compassion, and does not exist as a "this character is evil" signal. It's a long arc, but I imagine people who relate will be satisfied, though I cannot speak for anyone.
Characters of color: many! The main two are Hispanic and Asian. Terms like "dark skinned" are used for characters, but in the fantasy world race doesn't exactly translate, and I wouldn't call it "important" in this story. Read more about race below:
Fantasy racism: sort of! The word "race" is used to mean "humanoid species" and I know some folks don't like that? None of these fantasy races are oppressed, but specific people (Magic versus non-magic people) have conflict about that aspect of their identity, and policing is a related concern. I would place the allegory more in the space of transness and disability/neurodivergency if pressed to choose, but it doesn't feel like it's trying to tell a story about real-world oppression, primarily. I have more complicated thoughts on exactly what I'm trying to communicate here, but they involved some spoilers. DM me for more info!
Hosts/creator identity: out of three hosts, two are white, one is not! They are very queer, and disability is also...a thing! These are real life people, so I'm not going to get into detail, but check out their twitters plugged in the show for more on how they self-identify.
Okay but are they racist: Real talk! As a black person who thinks I keep my ears sharp, I would say no! Not at all! This is one of those situations where I was like "YOU'RE WHITE?" And shocked about it, (if you listened to TSCOSI, same vibe) which is a very good thing in my books. The hosts are open and sensitive, and I have no complaints, however, this is just one perspective! This isn't coincidental, race is an active consideration in how the story is told — just not a central theme.
Edit: One of the hosts, Essay (@/citrusandsalts) discussed more on hosts identities in a reblog! If this concerns you, and you want less of me walking on eggshells about other people's identities, read her addition too!
Edit 2: Jordan, the GM also has commented additions!
Minor but worth mentioning: A minor character has a name with what I believe is the Nahuatl "tl" sound in it, which is not pronounced correctly. It's a really hard sound! I can't really do it! But if that really irritates you this might not be the podcast for you.
People who might be interested in this post, as always let me know if you don't want to be pinged (I rarely ever do this) and it won't happen again: @citrusandsalt @fyeahaudiodrama @boombox-fuckboy
#my posts are never sponsored i am giving them MY money#tpp#the penumbra podcast#because i think ex penumbra fans would like this a lot#audio drama#actual play#indie podcasts#podcasts#edil chats#edil makes reccomendations#three hearts cast#okay to repost anywhere please repost this#ttrpg#actual play podcast#indie ttrpg#indie role play#indie#uhm. uhhh. uhm. are those enough tags???#listen to three hearts cast
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Every time YouTube nonsense happens I'm always like "I can't wait to see what Sergle says about this" because you're the only person I follow that talks about YouTube nonsense.
Please take this is an invitation for you to talk about the Watcher's apology video lol
I am a filthy youtube enjoyer so you can absolutely count on me and GODDDDDDDDDDD... I mean the apology is not NEARLY as funny as the blunder, so it hasn't kept my attention as much but like
the obligatory upfront thing is that, like, it is good that they posted it, they apologized for being insensitive and whatever, they're not scraping their channel clean or going forward with their old plan to only post their shows on their own platform, and these are technically good and correct things, because they could have pretended not to notice all the negative feedback. So like, responding is good.
BUT LIKE I HAVE QUESTIONS NOW... Because they took SO LONG to film and upload a video that basically is just "we fucked up, we're sorry, we're not gonna do that anymore", which doesn't exactly take a writer's room several days to cook, but I DIGRESS...
They were quiet for long enough for everyone to LOOK REALLY CLOSE. After the initial reaction, people had time to do some pretty comprehensive cost breakdowns for their stuff, and for what they have to be pulling in from adsense, sponsored segments, patreon, merch, and touring
Like, they'd need to be really mismanaging their finances, because they're doing very well for themselves, making good, stable money, and the vids they make are super duper advertiser friendly.
SO... you take long enough without putting out a holder statement or a quick heel-turn apology or anything, it gives people more time to get comfortable with not liking you, and also to dig around and google things about you, or scrape up info/trivia about you to corroborate their new opinion of you.
It gets personal, is what I mean. So pulling this move has still, at BEST, caused some permanent damage to their relationships with fans, in both directions. They all got a huge flood of negative feedback, and even a perfect, emotionally mature, non-entitled person would have a negative reaction to people being upset with them at such a high volume. But now they're gonna remember the things that people have said about them, and there's no way that at the very least, Steven isn't gonna feel spiteful about this.
People TOTALLY unloaded on him (funny) (valid) about his evangelical christian conservative leaning tesla privileged out of touch boy gold flaked ice cream eating ways. He definitely is going to remember that ppl said they never liked him in the first place. As for Ryan and Shane, people didn't have any dirt on them, but they definitely still received a lot of angry messages from people, most of which will have been reasonable, but they're gonna remember the really really mean and intense ones.
Anyway, they made a booboo dumb enough for jack to want to make a skit about it, so for that I'm very grateful, because I thought it was really really fucking funny
youtube
#it's no big deal and it's whatevs because it's Low Risk youtube scandal which is why I like it so much#but it still never fails to amaze me how much this didn't need to happen#like this would have been a totally preventable blunder. I can think of a million different ways to increase profit before trying this move#personally I think it's funny to mess up this badly because the Second Messup would be to respond REALLY quickly#You see it trending and you immediately need to act bc it will only get worse the longer you stay quiet#sergle answers#long post
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hi girly me again 🩷 it’s currently lesbian visibility week, can we get some cashmere and enobaria hcs in honor of this? can be about them as a couple or them in general, i am not picky at all!!
Omg hi hello yes friend I can absolutely do that!! These kind of got out of hand so I wrote them in a separate document and am copying them over so that I don’t lost them if my laptop goes down or something!!
These are obviously in ARWBFB verse/au because like..at this point it feels like EVERYTHING I do is in that verse but also in writing this I realized I’m like..lowkey dropping ARWBFB Cashmere and Enobaria lore because noone knew they were together until the last chapter because Clove didn’t and it was her perspective so!!
-Enobaria and Cashmere have been together for quite literally about ten years by the end of the last chapter of ARWBFB (non epilogue). They were friends for a few years first but…we all know how that ends up sometimes.
-Cashmere teaches Enobaria how to teach Clove about knife throwing, so that she can pass it along to Clove to give her a competitive edge before formal training would begin. Enobaria is not..great at it.
-Enobaria is in the capitol the first night Cashmere is sold by Snow. She is powerless and she knows it, but she never forgets the sinking feeling she had watching some much older man lead Cash out by her elbow.
-The night Glimmer wins, Enobaria is not even supposed ot be in the Capitol, but she conveniently “misses” her train home and has to stay an extra night. She is debating going down to the One floor for hours and at the exact minute she gets up to go Cashmere comes literally bursting into her room. She has never seen her cry as hard as she did that night.
-Enobaria could not be found any night during Clove’s games, not because she was out with sponsors, but because she had to sleep in Cashmere’s bed or she wouldn’t get a second of sleep. The ONLY minutes of sleep Enobaria gets the entire duration fo Clove’s games is when Cashmere tricks her to sleep by playing with her hair.
-Cashmere conveniently forgets to get money from sponsors in the 73rd games. She talks with them. She interacts. But she never gets tot he point of swiping their cards or collecting checks. She cannot directly play against her own district, but she cannot (will not) play anyone against Clove. She knows what it would do to Enobaria.
-Enobaria and Cashmere are separated the entirety of the war. They have no way to communicate. They do not know if the other is dead, alive, in custody, or what side of the war. Enobaria can only assume, after all that is done to Cashmere in her life, that she would have chosen the side of the rebels. She does, too. It is one of the worst times in both of their lives, because not only do they not have any communication or information on each other, they are also facing loss of someone very close to them (Because they also do not know if Clove or Glimmer are alive at that point).
-Cashmere is the only person in the world who knows every once in a while Enobaria bites her lip in her sleep and ends up on a pillow covered in blood
-Enobaria and Cashmere, post war, are both faced with really difficult and messy relationships with food. The only way they can heal them is by encouraging and aiding the other in repairing theirs first.
-the only time Enobaria ever hesitates in wanting to advocate for Clove to go into the games is after she watches the way Glimmer’s win destroys Cashmere. It is the only thing to ever make her hesitate.
-Enobaria notices she comes home from the games every year missing a piece of clothing or two. It is not until after the war that she realizes Cash has an entire drawer of them she’s been sleeping in for a decade.
-Cash thinks she fell in love with her when they were about twenty, they were more than a little drunk, and Enobaria was just drunk enough to whisper to her about the the little girl she had promised to take care of and the promise she made to a dead girl. It’s whispered under sheets because of listening ears, and in the dark of the night Cashmere mentions that she has a little sister around the same age. Maybe, in another life, they could have let the girls be friends.
Thanks so much my friend!! This was a lot of fun and i’d be glad to do more if that is wanted!!
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Franaud - an introduction
Sooo, the genius of @ticiie willed the pairing Franjo/Arnaud into existence and while on first glance I was a bit 🤨 I am now fully converted and convinced they are skiing's next power couple. They have similarities, for example their tragic pasts, and they have differences that make them a perfect fit for each other. Because I have nothing better to do (I do but my hyperfixation doesn't let me...) I wanted to do a short introduction on both of them (it's just an excuse to post a few pictures).
First, there's Franjo
He is the blueprint of an average Swiss zoomer from the boonies, in the picture above visible by his stance. Born in 2001, he lives in a constant traffic jam in Boltigen (the town is on the only road to some of Berne's biggest ski places and is basically backed up with cars from Dezember-March). He loves speed in every form, not just on skis but also on motorbikes and in cars.
Because he is from the Canton of Berne and specialised in downhill he is hailed as the heir of Beat Feuz. With his third place in the second race in Garmisch in the past season he did nothing to mitigate these hopes. He was on the podium with Odi, and like Marco he is genial and easy-going and loves a good time with friends. But he has something not even Odi has: a drink of his own.
He almost had to give up racing though because his father died when Franjo was just 17 and in the middle of his apprenticeship as carpenter. Thanks to a crowd-funding however he managed to get enough money to keep going.
Btw I swear I read in an article that his name his an amalgamation of Franz-Josef but for the life of me I can't find it anymore.
On to Arnaud:
He is from Martigny in the French-speaking part of Switzerland and has the most charming accent when he speaks German or English. (also I listened to a radio interview and he could seriously work as the guy who speaks the dialogues on tape for students learning French; he's very easy to listen to) He joined the world cup for the first time in the past season together with Franjo. Unlike Franjo, however, he is already in his mid-twenties (only one year younger than Odi). The reason it took him a bit longer to get into the big league is that he was fate's punching bag for the past few years.
He showed passable results in the European Cup before the pandemic (this one's from the last season but there's Gilles too, so I was powerless) and was allowed to compete in the team try-outs for Wengen 2020. Back then, Lars Rösti (who lives not far away from Franjo) was the reigning youth world champion in downhill. Arnaud beat him in practice but despite his results, the coaches chose Rösti for the last starting place in Wengen. This threw big waves, especially in Valais where people (probably a teeny bit rightfully) assumed that head coach Stauffer, like Rösti and Franjo from Canton of Berne, had shown preferential treatment. Arnaud was promised a start at one of the remaining downhills that season but only one week later, he broke his knee in the European Cup and was out for the season.
(Small parenthesis: Judging by his social media he is a more talented hustler than Franjo whose charm is more...rustic. Here he is listening to one of his sponsors while having very petable hair.)
Once his knee was okay again, he broke his arm, and was out another season. He returned in 2022 and won that season's European Cup in Super-G, which meant he had a fixed place for the past season and no chance to lose it anymore. He was not nominated for Beaver Creek and the first downhill in Val Gardena. Because he won points in his very first Super-G in the World Cup though, he was finally allowed to start in dh too, and the rest is history. He won his first podium only a few weeks after Franjo when he came third in the Super-G in Saalbach.
Btw, a little added shit-dollop to that shitty decision in Wengen: Back in 2020 his father was still alive. He died in 2022 though, and thus never saw his son race in the wc. In the interview I read Arnaud doesn't explicitly talk about that but he mentions that he was very hurt by the decision, and also mentioned his Dad in the post before his first start in the wc.
Why they are perfect for each other:
On first glance, it would be understandable if these two would be nothing more than co-workers. All that is missing from Franjo's entire existence being a pure cliché of a proud Swiss hick is a cow in his profile pic, while Arnaud is more...cerebral. He studied economics and works part-time in a bank over summer, and one of his best friends is Tanguy (that is Dartmouth alumnus and expert-straddler Tanguy Nef to you). Their characters, however complement each other and make them a perfect fit. They are both popular and well-liked by the people around them, and they are both funny as hell. Franjo's humor is more of the straight-forward kind, he's a happy-go-lucky man like Odi while Arnaud can be a downright sarcastic little shit (evidence).
In conclusion, I think there should be 173 fics about these two in all stages of relationship. Thank you for your attention.
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Oh SHIT Sale
Well!
Uh, good news first! I’m okay, and will likely be okay, things just suddenly got very… unfortunate. In a very rapid amount of time. I'm going to need to step carefully for the foreseeable future or there will be problems.
So, here’s the deal. I need money. And the sooner I get on that, the better I’ll feel in general. I won’t go into detail to keep this as ‘guilt-trippy’ free as possible but, the household income (not from me) just dropped and I’m hopeful that it will recover soon but the job market is… lacking. To be blunt.
Now, I’m not expecting people to just give me money. So, I’m doing a bit of a sale.
Typically, commissions are $1 for 100 SFW words and $2 for 100 NSFW words. (So, $30 for 3K SFW commission and $30 for 1.5K NSFW commission).
For now, that price will be halved.
So, for a limited time, $1 will get you 200 SFW commissioned words and $2 will get you 200. Or just $0.50 for 100 SFW words and a $1 for 100 NSFW words if you prefer to think of it that way.
Can’t think of any prompt for a commission? Why, you can just shove that money into a pending work I already have and just… haven’t updated. Sponsor a chapter, so to speak.
Now, please understand, I would ordinarily never. Do. This.
My fanfiction is, generally, for free because it’s a passion of mine for as long as the passion survives. And considering how personally I take my stories, I would never ordinarily put a paywall in front of chapters or compromise my earnest passion for monetary gain in an already established fanfic. I started these stories because I had a deep desire to tell them. To tell my stories. And you, the general audience, are free to enjoy them for as long as I am capable of writing them and posting them online.
As such, in the case of this option, it won’t be treated the same as a commission. A chapter will have a flat rate. Let’s say… $20 bucks upfront (commissions may still be half upfront and the other half upon completion but I would appreciate it during these trying times if the full amount could be paid all at once). And then I really have to do it damnit, inspiration be damned.
You're basically paying to shove my nose into the story and write damnit.
Nothing quite like brokenness to inspire, I suppose. You can chose the story, naturally, and how many chapters, but that’s it. I can’t in good conscious and without feeling more gross than I already do, compromise more. If I reach the end of the story… we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, but I do believe I’ll refund the appropriate amount or you may transfer that to a different story as you please.
I sincerely hope you understand.
This is in NO WAY a reflection of how I WANT to write fanfiction. And it will not persist once the current issue is resolved.
How long is this “Oh shit” sale going?
Well, as long as it has to, to be honest. If, somehow, all my monetary problems are solved before any of the comms are complete, then that money just goes to my credit card bill. Something I’ve needed to whittle down for a while but haven’t been able to and definitely adds to the amount the household ultimately needs to keep churning.
For simplicity, I’ll do slots to be filled. That and it’ll keep everything organized. Once the slots are filled, I’ll close the “Oh shit” sale until it’s done so I don't end up with a massive pile of work to stress over.
First come, first serve, and if you just want to send some love my way in the form of money, I have a Ko-fi, which is what I’ll be paid through regardless for simplicities sake.
Keep in mind normal commission rules apply, including concerning NSFW content, commissioner ages, and character ages. And kinks. I WILL refund money if it has been preemptively sent before the details have been ironed out. Please wait until I have confirmed I can do it before sending any money, barring tips, which are greatly appreciated if possible.
Writing commissions:
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Story sponsoring:
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#open commissions#i feel gross already but... well it is what it is#I do not like this#In any sense of the word#but i'd like to pay my bills and every bit helps#mittens update
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An innocent man was falsely accused/framed for something he didn't do, was sent to an alien jail and everyone in there think he is a Hired Killer.
(I post it on here: https://www.reddit.com/r/humansarespaceorcs/comments/ulhio9/an_innocent_man_was_falsely_accusedframed_for/ and I want to re-repost it on here)
A man named Willie was framed for something he didn't do, as punishment, he was sent to an alien jail on the far side of the galaxy. when he got there, one of the aliens ask him how did he end up here?.
"I was a cleaner" a janitor "I am still trying to understand how this all happen?!." the alien thinks 'cleaner' is a nickname for a contract killer and the news of that share like crazy in there.
it didn't help for Willie that he was actually really good at his job and clean up messes like they didn't happen in the first place which add more fuel to the fire.
(someone can take this idea and go nuts with it.)
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(the person who replay that post)
A1: a large spider-like alien asks So Human Willie, answer my questions and we might forgive this transgression. What has cursed me with your presence in my cell? What is your occupation? And who is your sponsor?
Willie: Well I don’t want any trouble. I got assigned as your cell mate, but what does my job matter?
A1: mandibles rattling in a laugh Human you are in my nest. Either you answer or I will use your skin as my bedding.
Willie: Oooookay then…. I was a cleaner. Worked many gigs on many worlds, a few space stations as well.
A1: A….a cleaner you say? And…. Who did you say your sponsor was?
Willie: Sponsor? I don’t have a sponsor, never needed one. Jobs always payed well enough, I just ran on my own power. Sometimes Ive had to…. Haggle…. with my customers but they always paid.
A1: I apologize, please forgive my hostility. A cleaner is an honored professional among T’carians. I offer you the choice of bunk as tribute for my insolence.
Willie: I…ummm thanks? I think id prefer the bottom bunk if thats okay?
A2: in walks a giant mantis What is this? A tasty snack has found its way into your web on its own?
A1: SILENCE!!! This is the a Cleaner you are speaking to! You will show him due respect or you may find yourself washed up.
A2: Oh….oh no… I am sorry please forgive me, I ment no offence. Please, I have some food rations I was saving but they are yours. I will retrieve them. Please don’t hurt me. runs away
Willie: What the fu-in walks/slimes a slug like being
A3: Hahahah why did Clix’tiab run out of here looking like he was going to void his bowels? He looked like he’s seen a-notices Willie oh no…… hey man Willie I got your money, I wasn’t trying to hide from you I just have been locked up is all. Don’t worry, Ill get right on having those credits sent to you right now. runs away
Willie: ….Well at least hes gonna pay me after that bullshit party he threw. Fuckin mess that was. Had eggs everywhere but was supposed to get paid extra to make sure the place was spotless after. You ever have to scrape burnt eggs from a cast iron pan?
A1: I….I have to go. It….I…think I heard my name called. I must go. flees
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(something I made/add on to this idea)
ok, imagine this. one of the aliens in the jail got curious and ask him "what kind of place did you hate...'cleaning' at?" and Willie is immediately started to talk about one of the worst places that he had to clean up, a 4 out 5 star restaurant.
"OH! you want to know?!, let's talk about... 'that place' which I can't say because for an obvious reason." they pay him a lot of money to not say anything about it "but oh my fucking god, the money they give was not enough, I had to ask them to double my pay or I was going to throw them under the bus. because... have you cleaned up rotten meat before?... it's a nightmare, the smell, look, and hell, even when I had the gas mask on, I can still taste it in the back of my throat right now."
"it was so hard trying not to throw up and make more of a mess that was already going on in their place. and I hope you like putting trash bags inside of trash bags because that is what you need to do or you have that shit leaking through the bag."
"it was pure nightmare but one of the important things I learn and for some reason, if you need to clean up rotten meat. use lemon juice, lemon juice is going to be your best friend if you want to clean up and remove the smell off of you." that job took him 10 hours to get it done.
the alien who asks that is now very scared.
#reddit#humans are insane#humans are deathworlders#humans are awesome#aliens meet humans#humans are crazy#human are space orcs#human#HFY#humans are space fae#story#alien#jail#post#long post#long#human fuck yeah#janitor#backstory#fanfiction#fanfic#fan#science fiction#fic
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A Semi-coherent Rant About Commercialism in Media
I have a lot of thoughts and opinions on commercial interest in media, few of them are good. Initially, my mind jumps to social media which has become an endless onslaught of advertising and a massive perpetuator of ‘hustle culture’ where everyone is constantly looking for ways to make money. However, these ideas have also seeped into traditional media, placing monetary gain above creativity. A very cynical thought, I know.
Over the past few years, I have become increasingly aware of how commercial interests influence the content I consume, particularly when it comes to social media. Personally, I don’t often create my own posts or actively engage with others’ posts beyond a ‘like’. The majority of my social media use consists of watching YouTube videos or shorts, so I try to think critically about what or who I am watching, especially when there is any sort of advertising involved. For me this means being a bit picky over which creators I watch and always questioning things. If the content is expository, does this person have the credentials and/or sources to support the information? When it comes to content with sponsored, or even unsponsored, product recommendations I tend to look at the creator as a whole – what kind of content they produce, what efforts they make for transparency with their audience, the type of language used, and what do they stand to gain from these posts. Or I just try to avoid and ignore advertisements as much as humanly possible which is easier said than done.
That’s not to say that I don’t ever fall for the social media hype or think I’m better than people who do; if I’m being honest, if my financial situation were different, it’s likely I would give into it more often. One of the few perks of being a broke university student is that my wallet forces me to take the time to think about these things. Often in the time it takes for me to save up for things I want, I usually end up realizing I either don’t need it or never really wanted it in the first place.
Also, I think it’s worth noting that this awareness is extremely irritating. Sometimes I just want to mindlessly watch dumb videos or influencer drama, or to buy the thing just because I want to, but this questioning has become a habit so that rarely happens. My avoidance of ads has, in some cases, led to me reluctantly giving in to subscription services – whether or not it was worth it is still up for debate. My hatred of subscription services is a different rant for a different day, but my avoidance of those as well as certain tech companies (mostly Apple but again, different rant for a different day) has caused me to miss out on a lot of content that is exclusive to their platforms.
Media and commercial interest are so thoroughly intertwined that being a consumer can sometimes feel like dodging bullets and I think that overall, it has just made me very cynical. Between corporate influence, the rise of lifestyle influencers, and ‘hustle culture’, it feels like fewer and fewer people create just for the sake of creating. Of course, I understand that people need to make a living, I don’t take issue with that at all. I think what really bothers me is that commercial interest seems to have taken center stage and created this narrative that media should only be produced with the goal of monetary gain. As someone who paints as a hobby, I can’t count the number of times people have suggested I sell my work and are shocked or confused when I say I don’t want to. This attitude discourages people from creating just for fun, implying that if you can’t make money then you shouldn’t bother in the first place, which is an incredibly depressing mindset.
So, while my self-righteous attitude towards media and commercialism may be a bit dramatic and irritating both to myself and others, I do think it’s at least somewhat justified. For the sake of my sanity and my wallet, I’m going to continue as I have.
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Nothing Ever Changes Blog post 4
The absolute suspense of the arena getting bombed was insane because I had so many questions. Like who did it?, whoever did it, why would they? Does Coriolanus actually care and love Lucy Gray? And the final question will the games still go on because the arena was severely damaged and a lot of the tributes died? What amazed me the most was that even though Coriolanus got really hurt he is still concerned about Lucy Gray. Like come on that man is in love with her and that act was so kind asking about how she is. He also feels obligated to see her because she saved his life when she could have run free from everything.
Rendition: A performance or interpretation, especially of a dramatic role or piece of music.
Number reason 100 why Lucy Gray is such a dominant character, while most tributes think the games will be canceled due to only having 14 competitors left, she wants Coriolanus to help her and strategize how to win the games. I think it was really a smart idea for Coriolanus to suggest her singing because if she does, she might get more viewers which equals sponsors to help her succeed inside the arena. The reaction of Coriolanus to her singing will never not amaze me because he describes her voice in such detail and is so enthralled of how she can sway the entire capitol to her side.
Peevishness: Easily irritated, especially by unimportant things.
Decrepit: Something that is worn out, weakened, or deteriorated due to old age or long term use.
I am such a Sejanus stand because like I have said before, empathy is a gift but also a curse because he sees the games as something so demented and wrong , but of course Dr.Gaul is feeding into the origin story that the tributes are the animals and deserve what comes to them. He is so kind and doesn't blame his tribute for running when the bombs went off and he might actually respect his action.
I truly think Tigris is such an underestimated character because she really does contribute to Coriolanus as a person. I realized how much influence she has on him because she basically raised him and did harsh things like sell her body so she could get money and bring it home. I think he starts to realize how much she has done for him and it's hard for him to imagine the things she went through so he could have food and clothes. Growing up both of them endured such horrible things but still reminiscing on the good parts of the past really shows how a situation can be flipped.
The night before the games I could only imagine would be the most terrifying thing ever because everyday you will have to fight for the next day. Not only that but knowing there can be only one winner sends chills down my spine because some of these characters are so good and all but one will win. The fact that Coriolanus wants to say his final goodbye to Lucy Gray before the games is so adorable and he wants to give her something to remember him while she is in the arena. Reading the last pages of chapter 12 had me screaming! I can’t believe he gave her his mothers antique compact. This is such an important detail to their development because he cherishes that object with his entire heart. He also WIPED her tears when she was crying because she is scared to die. I could not hold my excitement, he was comforting her and noticed that his feelings are starting to get deeper for her.
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By • Olalekan Fagbade
Reactions over Peter Obi's alleged cash gift to Arise TV Journalist Rufai Oseni
A cascade of reactions have continued to trail a recent report that the Labour Party’s presidential candidate in the 2023 elections, Peter Obi, allegedly funded the funeral of the late father of Arise TV’s host, Rufai Oseni.
Reno Omokri, the Special Assistant to former President Goodluck Jonathan, alleged Obi funded the funeral of Rufai’s father.
Omokri alleged this on his X account on August 25 with a picture of Obi and Rufai.
He asked the former Anambra Governor to come clean on whether or not he gave money to Oseni during the latter’s father’s funeral, a move Reno said has influenced the journalist into making political comments and analysis in favour of Obi.
He posted: “AriseTV and Mr Rufai Oseni should kindly answer the following question. Did Mr Peter Obi, the Presidential candidate of the Labour Party, fund the funeral of Mr Rufai Oseni’s father by giving him money in cash or via electronic means, either directly or through a third party, in August 2022,
“…and has that influenced Mr. Oseni’s open bias in favour of Peter Obi, whereby Mr. Oseni used the AriseTV platform as a medium to campaign for and launder the image of Mr Peter Obi, and his undisguised personal animosity towards me for my refusal to support Mr Peter Obi’s Presidential ambition? I counsel them to think very carefully before they answer.”
Omokri, in one of the tweets, further called on Obi to publicly deny ever-inducing Oseni financially.
He added: “I asked a question that Mr. Peter Obi has NOT answered and has tried to use semantics to dodge.
“My question is this: Did Peter Obi fund the funeral of Mr Rufai Oseni’s father by giving him money in cash or via electronic means, either directly or through a third party, and has that influenced Mr. Oseni’s open bias in favour of Peter Obi, whereby Mr. Oseni used the AriseTV platform as a medium to campaign for and launder the image of Mr Peter Obi, and his undisguised personal animosity towards me for my refusal to support Mr Peter Obi’s Presidential ambition,” asked Omokri.
Reacting to Omokri’s questions, Obi refuted the claims that he financed the burial of Oseni’s father.
In his response via his X account, Obi said that he never sponsored such, adding that it is “a categorical lie.”
According to him: “There is a recent case where my name has been mentioned in a malicious and cheap blackmail against one of Nigeria’s best Television presenters, Mr. Rufai Oseni, who has stood sternly for what is right and has challenged me fearlessly on some occasions while speaking truth to power.
“I have recently been mentioned to have bribed Mr. Rufai Oseni by financially sponsoring the burial of his father.
“Let me clearly state that this is a categorical lie. It is not true, cannot be true and will never be true. Everyone who understands or follows my approach to things will attest to the fact that I do not give anyone money to promote my name.”
He added that he never enticed any journalist to speak or write in his favour.
“I have never and will never monetarily induce any journalist to speak or write in my favour. When I am invited to birthday celebrations or funerals, people know that I do attend.
“Countless journalists, media personnel, the less privileged, the wealthy etc., have all invited me to their occasions and they will attest to the fact that I honour such invitations, especially when people are grieving. I have never been to Rufai’s village. Even at the point of writing this, I do not know where he is from.
“One then wonders why people could decide to tarnish other people’s image for no justifiable reason. To those involved in such evil endeavours, I wish them well and pray that God will have mercy on them.”
#cashgifttoOseniRufai #ReactionsoverPeterObi’s
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hi y'all I love your efforts to spread awareness about Ukraine but for the love of god stop sharing links to donate to Ukrainian far right groups or the fucking Ukrainian military ffs. I swear it's not that difficult to check the link you're sharing yourself, run it through google translate if you must, but ffs STOP donating to far right groups
#look i have Knowledge of the Ukraine situation give it was My Thing in college#yes i was working towards an international relations degree with a focus on 21st century conflict what about it#I've bren following the Ukrainian news since euromaidan (late 2013-feb 2014)#i have the tools to explain this shit but i am also fucking tired and i won't. this is not something that can be explained in 5 lines#anyway support grassroot and anarchist organisations supported by the PEOPLE of Ukraine i s2g it is not that hard. do NOT give money to the#fucking military ffs i never thought I'd have to say this but jesus. DO NOT donate to military sponsored NGOs and unaffiliated groups#you eant to help STOP the war not FUND it#anyway babes do your research. don't ask me to help my contact in Ukraine has gone under and idk if I'll ever speak to them again#post
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Important Questions I Try To Remember To Ask Before Reblogging Political Zingers
1. Do I know who this person is? When a member of Congress tweets, we know who they are, and we generally have a good sense of what they want. The motives are usually obvious. The same is true of an advocacy organization. It’s sometimes true of celebrities, though it’s a lot harder to tell. When it comes from a random person or account, you have basically nothing to go off of.
2. What does this person want me to think? If someone posts a screencap of a headline reading “Senator Blob votes against All Dogs Are Good Boys bill” with the caption “Blob has finally reached a level of heartlessness usually found in Disney Villains,” one assumes that they want you to hate Senator Blob and support the All Dogs Are Good Boys bill.
3. What is a good-faith reason they want me to think this? Maybe the person just really loves dogs, and Senator Blob has a history of anti-dog votes. People should know this before they fill out their ballots. All Dogs Are Good and Senator Blob sucks.
5. What is a bad-faith reason they might want me to think this? Maybe they’re from a different party, and think that Senator Blob’s primary opponent, Aspiring Senator Fido, will be easier to beat in the general election-- so they want to undermine Blob’s support within their own voters. Maybe the poster is sponsored by Fido, and is intentionally misinterpreting facts in a stealth political ad. Maybe they’re part of or own stock in a company the All Dogs Are Good Boys bill is giving money or tax breaks to. Maybe they’re part of a company/demographic that Blob has voted to tax and they want to smear them at any opportunity. Maybe it’s another government who has pee tapes blackmail material and wants Fido in power so they can leverage it. It’s almost impossible to know for sure one way or the other, and going through someone’s old political posts before reblogging/retweeting them is... a lot of work. (Though sometimes you get lucky and their blog description will be something like ‘Meat is Murder, Click HERE to Donate to PETA.’) Which leads to:
6. Did they provide context? Headlines rarely do, which is why screenshots of them are so popular. Maybe somewhere in the bill, it said that girl dogs are NOT good. Or only pedigreed dogs are Good Boys. Maybe there’s a rider on it that defunds all school lunch programs. Maybe Senator Blob is getting campaign money from the kennel industry. Maybe Senator Blob not only hates dogs, but in fact thinks that all animals are bad, and has a history of similar troubling votes. Someone who wants people to be well informed will have a history of linking (reputable!) sources, or explain more of what is going on. Someone who just wants you to be angry probably will not.
7. Once you have context, ideally from an outside source, do you still agree with the initial post? if so, share away.
and then as a bonus: 8. If there’s no context in the original post, is there another version I can reblog, or am I going to have to add it my own self? Sometimes there’s already someone in the notes who has done the work for you. Sometimes there’s not, and you have to be that somebody. Sometimes wading into political debates on the internet is not how you want to spend your energy and it is entirely fine to scroll past the post without sharing or commenting. Sometimes the original "gotcha” turns out to be so stupid that you cannot simply let it go and you end up looking up just how long Hillary Clinton has been obsessed with jalapenos to see if it predates the release of Beyonce’s hit single “Formation” and then Tumblr announces which accounts were actually part of Putin’s propaganda apparatus and you go down in tumblr history as that Hillary Clinton stan blog who argued about hot sauce with a Russian spy despite the fact that you have never stanned a politician in your life but whatever at least it’s a funny-sad story you can tell at very specific parties now.
#propaganda#disinformation#just shouting into the void here#this applies just as much to posts you agree with as posts you don't#op
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Do you really hate this county? Or were you just ranting?
Sigh. I debated whether or not to answer this, since I usually keep the real-life/politics/depressing current events to a relative minimum on this blog, except when I really can't avoid ranting about it. But I have some things to get off my chest, it seems, and you did ask. So.
The thing is, any American with a single modicum of genuine historical consciousness knows that despite all the triumphalist mythology about Pulling Up By Our Bootstraps and the American Dream and etc, this country was founded and built on the massive and systematic exploitation and extermination of Black and Indigenous people. And now, when we are barely (400 years later!!!) getting to a point of acknowledging that in a widespread way, oh my god the screaming. I'm so sick of the American right wing I could spit for so many reasons, not least of which is the increasingly reductive and reactive attempts to put the genie back in the bottle and set up hysterical boogeymen about how Teaching Your Children Critical Race Theory is the end of all things. They have forfeited all pretense of being a real governing party; remember how their only platform at the 2020 RNC was "support whatever Trump says?" They have devolved to the point where the cruelty IS the point, to everyone who doesn't fit the nakedly white supremacist mold. They don't have anything to do aside from attempt to usher in actual, literal, dictionary-definition-of-fascism and sponsor armed revolts against the peaceful transfer of power.
That is fucking exhausting to be aware of all the time, especially with the knowledge that if we miss a single election cycle -- which is exceptionally easy to do with the way the Democratic electorate needs to be wooed and courted and herded like cats every single time, rather than just getting their asses to the polls and voting to keep Nazis out of office -- they will be right back in power again. If Manchin and Sinema don't get over their poseur pearl-clutching and either nuke the filibuster or carve out an exception for voting rights, the John Lewis Voting Rights Act is never going to get passed, no matter how many boilerplate appeals the Democratic leadership makes on Twitter. In which case, the 2022 midterms are going to give us Kevin McCarthy, Speaker of the House (I threw up in my mouth a little typing that) and right back to the Mitch McConnell Obstruction Power Hour in the Senate. The Online Left (TM) will then blame the Democrats for not doing more to stop them. These are, of course, the same people who refused to vote for Hillary Clinton out of precious moral purity reasons in 2016, handed the election to Trump, and now like to complain when the Trump-stacked Supreme Court reliably churns out terrible decisions. Gee, it's almost like elections have consequences!!
Aside from my exasperation with the death-cult right-wing fascists and the Online Left (TM), I am sick and tired of how forty years of "trickle-down" Reaganomics has created a world where billionaires can just fly to space for the fun of it, while the rest of America (and the world) is even more sick, poor, overheated, economically deprived, and unable to survive the biggest public health crisis in a century, even if half the elected leadership wasn't actively trying to sabotage it. Did you know that half of American workers can't even afford a one-bedroom apartment? Plus the obvious scandal that is race relations, health care, paid leave, the education system (or lack thereof), etc etc. I'm so tired of this America Is The Greatest Country in the World mindless jingoistic catchphrasing. We are an empire in the late stages of collapse and it's not going to be pretty for anyone. We have been poisoned on sociopathic-libertarian-selfishness-disguised-as-Freedom ideology for so long that that's all there is left. We have become a country of idiots who believe everything their idiot friends post on social media, but in a very real sense, it's not directly those individuals' fault. How could they, when they have been very deliberately cultivated into that mindset and stripped of critical thinking skills, to serve a noxious combination of money, power, and ideology?
I am tired of the fact that I have become so drained of empathy that when I see news about more people who refused to get the vaccine predictably dying of COVID, my reaction is "eh, whatever, they kind of deserved it." I KNOW that is not a good mindset to have, and I am doing my best to maintain my personal attempts to be kind to those I meet and to do my small part to make the world better. I know these are human beings who believed what they were told by people that they (for whatever reason) thought knew better than them, and that they are part of someone's family, they had loved ones, etc. But I just can't summon up the will to give a single damn about them (I'm keeping a bingo card of right-wing anti-vax radio hosts who die of COVID and every time it's like, "Alexa, play Another One Bites The Dust.") The course that the pandemic took in 21st-century America was not preordained or inevitable. It was (and continues to be) drastically mismanaged for cynical political reasons, and the legacy of the Former Guy continues to poison any attempts to bring it under control or convince people to get a goddamn vaccine. We now have over 100,000 patients hospitalized with COVID across the country -- more than last summer, when the vaccines weren't available.
I have been open about my fury about the devaluation of the humanities and other critical thinking skills, about the fact that as an academic in this field, my chances of getting a full-time job for which I have trained extensively and acquired a specialist PhD are... very low. I am tired of the fact that Americans have been encouraged to believe whatever bullshit they fucking please, regardless of whether it is remotely true, and told that any attempt to correct them is "anti-freedom." I am tired of how little the education system functions in a useful way at all -- not necessarily due to the fault of teachers, who have to work with what they're given, and who are basically heroes struggling stubbornly along in a profession that actively hates them, but because of relentless under-funding, political interference, and furious attempts, as discussed above, to keep white America safely in the dark about its actual history. I am tired of the fact that grade school education basically relies on passing the right standardized tests, the end. I am tired of the implication that the truth is too scary or "un-American" to handle. I am tired. Tired.
I know as well that "America" is not synonymous in all cases with "capitalist imperialist white-supremacist corporate death cult." This is still the most diverse country in the world. "America" is not just rich white middle-aged Republicans. "America" involves a ton of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, Muslims, Jews, Christians of good will (I have a whole other rant on how American Christianity as a whole has yielded all pretense of being any sort of a principled moral opposition), white allies, etc etc. all trying to make a better world. The blue, highly vaccinated, Biden-winning states and counties are leading the economic recovery and enacting all kinds of progressive-wishlist dream policies. We DID get rid of the Orange One via the electoral process and avert fascism at the ballot box, which is almost unheard-of, historically speaking. But because, as also discussed above, certain elements of the Democratic electorate need to fall in love with a candidate every single time or threaten to withhold their vote to punish the rest of the country for not being Progressive Enough, these gains are constantly fragile and at risk of being undone in the next electoral cycle. Yes, the existing system is a crock of shit. But it's what we've got right now, and the other alternative is open fascism, which we all got a terrifying taste of over the last four years. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go back.
So... I don't know. I don't know if that stacks up to hate. I do hate almost everything about what this country currently is, structurally speaking, but I recognize that is not identical with the many people who still live here and are trying to do their best, including my friends, family, and myself. I am exhausted by the fact that as an older millennial, I am expected to survive multiple cataclysmic economic crashes, a planet that is literally boiling alive, a barely functional political system run on black cash, lies, and xenophobia, a total lack of critical thinking skills, renewed assaults on women/queer people/POC/etc, and somehow feel like I'm confident or prepared for the future. Not all these problems are only America's fault alone. The West as a whole bears huge responsibility for the current clusterfuck that the world is in, for many reasons, and so do some non-Western countries. But there is no denying that many of these problems have ultimate American roots. See how the ongoing fad for right-wing authoritarian strongmen around the world has them modeling themselves openly on Trump (like Brazil's lunatic president, Jair Bolsonaro, who talks all the time about how Trump is his political role model). See what's going on in Afghanistan right now. Etc. etc.
Anyway. I am very, very tired. There you have it.
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Just Right (3)
Part 2
Characters: Angel Reyes x black!plussized!reader
Chapter Summary: Someone throws a wrench in the plans.
Chapter Warning: Footbal AU. Don’t hate me please 😬 angst, implied smut, and some very petty behavior.
If you want to read more here’s my masterlist and you want to be notified when I post here’s my taglist
Divider credit: @firefly-graphics
The next morning, you had a pep in your step. Angel left you in bed with breakfast and a note saying he went on a run.
Coming downstairs you heard Angel’s voice, you assumed he was on the phone and not talking to the devil herself.
“Adelita, this is a surprise.” Angel backed away from her when he heard your voice.
“Y/N,” she smiled and pulled you into a hug. Backing away she twirled your hair around your finger. “I see the drought is over. Who’s the lucky guy?” If Adelita wasn’t so damn conceited she would’ve smelled Angel on you. But of course, you wouldn’t be able to bag a guy like Angel.
Angel cleared his throat and stepped in between the two of you, grabbing onto Adelita’s hips. “Uhh, let’s leave Y/N alone. I’m sure she’s not the kiss and tell type.”
“Not around you.” She joked, patting Angel’s chest. “Once we’re done talking me and you can have some girl talk like old times. Just you’ll be the one sharing stories this time.”
The nerve. This is the second time in your life that you wanted to knock Adelita out. “Yeah sure.” You gave her a tight smile over your shoulder and went back to your room.
While walking you could hear the hushed whispers and the sounds of lips kissing. As soon as you knew you were out of sight you ran to your room and immediately started packing.
“What are you doing?” Right after Adelita left, Angel ran to you. “What does it look like Angel?”
Tugging your pants out of your hands, Angel stopped you. “You don’t have to leave.”
“And what?!” You screamed in his face. “Stay here with you and Adelita?!”
He tried to hug you, but you pushed him away. “You really must be crazy. How are you just gonna take her back?”
“She was my fiancée, she deserves the benefit of the doubt.” Angel explained like it was a one size fits all reason.
“Oh, the same fiancée that dumped you once your future was unsure.” You scrunched your face up. “The same fiancée that told you it was over through a letter? The same fiancée that was all over social media hanging out and partying while you were in rehab? The same fiancée that so happens to ‘coincidentally’ come back into your life after you just made the biggest comeback ever?” You brushed past him went out the door. “Yeah, you can miss me with that bullshit.”
Angel trailed behind you, hoping he could amend things with you. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”
Whipping around you shoved him. “Yeah, you are. You know honestly, I don’t feel bad for myself as much as I do for you. I pray to God that he never makes me as pathetic as you. Have a nice life, Angel Reyes.”
Opening the front door revealed a sympathetic Mr. Felipe and an angry EZ. They both tried to stop you, but you kissed each man goodbye promising to keep in touch.
EZ waited until he saw you drive away to attack his brother. “What the fuck did you do?” Angel blocked some of his brother’s punches, but EZ managed to get some in.
Felipe was able to pull his youngest off his eldest. “EZ that’s enough!”
“Nah, Pop! You saw her. She practically ran out in tears.”
“It’s none of your damn business, Ezekiel!” Angel tried to walk away from them, but Felipe stopped him. “Explain yourself, son.”
“Adelita.” Both his father and brother groaned at that name. Now they knew why you ran out like that.
EZ didn’t have time for whatever excuse that his brother had. “You two deserve each other. And I hope when you come to your senses it’s too late.” He slammed the door on the way out, too disgusted with Angel to stay.
A few moments later Felipe followed his son out. “Pop,” Angel cried out, hoping to gain some sort of sympathy. “Not right now, Angel.” He stopped at the door and looked back at his son. “Unlike your brother I hope it won’t be too late for you to come to your senses. When you stick your head out of your ass, you and Y/N are perfect for each other.”
Once he was alone, Angel sat on the staircase wondering if he made the right decision.
Losing Angel just wasn’t about your heart breaking, but also losing your best friend. Those months spent with him was probably the best time of your life. The only thing that got you through the days were work and Rio.
At first, he assured you that he could just be your friend but someway somehow, he wormed his way into something more. You told him that you didn’t want him as some rebound, but he cockily said, “Ain’t no way I’m a rebound.” So, you stayed and started dating him.
You were reading a book when Rio came and laid his head in your lap. “Mamaaaa,” he sung kissing the little bit of your exposed fupa. “What do you want?” He was only this adorable when he wanted something like that extra cookie that would mess up his diet. “Nothing extra. Just go to dinner with me.”
“That’s it?” You closed your book and set it down to look at him curiously. “Yeah, I got a dress picked out, hairstylist and makeup artist on the way.”
“Wait, what kind of dinner is this?” Dinners with Rio never required all the hoopla. “The league always hosts a dinner for all the teams in the semifinals.”
“I know, I know, I know,” Rio trampled over your words, not letting you get a word in. “I know that dumbass is gonna be there, but I think it would be the perfect place to show him what he’s missing out on.”
If you went this would be the first time you saw Angel and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that. Last time he made you look like a fool. “I don’t know Rio.”
Sitting up, Rio picked you up and sat you down in your lap. “But mama,” he attacked your neck with his lips, adding a little bite every now and then. “I’ll be bored without you. And who am I gonna shove in a closet and fuck her like a dirty girl?”
“You’ll be fine without me for a couple of hours.”
“Alright, time for the big guns.” Rio led you to his bedroom with a covered mannequin in the center. Unveiling the mannequin, he revealed the most beautiful dress. You would be crazy to not wear that dress.
“Ok, I’ll go!” Rio pulled you by your hips against him. “Good, I thought I would have to use my other negotiation methods.”
“Nah, I still need convincing.” Rio backed you into the bed and pulled off your shorts. “Okay, but you got 15 minutes to cum two times before the stylist gets here.”
Angel was doing his best at trying to keep his cool. Adelita was making her way through all the owners, sponsors, and players ‘networking’ to gain traction for her cause. It wasn’t that he didn’t support, actually he was very supportive of it, but this night was in celebration of him and the other players. And he couldn’t ask her to quit it without looking like a complete douchebag.
“Are you two seriously making bets?” Angel wasn’t paying that much attention to Coco and Gilly until they said Adelita’s name. They were betting on when she would corner their team owner, Miguel Galindo. “How else are we gonna pass the time? Ain’t like there’s scintillating conversation.” Coco collected money from Riz and put it in his breast pocket.
“Pendejo,” Angel ordered another drink and while waiting for it he heard Coco whistle. Turning around to see what made Coco speechless, Angel was glad that he already set his old glass on the bar top, because he would’ve dropped it. There you were in the most beautiful dress looking like a goddess, but his mood soured when he saw that it was Rio escorting you.
Bishop walked up beside him and smacked him in the back of the head. “Fucking dumbass. Now she’s with that asshole.” Angel opened his mouth to say something, but Bishop held up his hand. “I don’t wanna hear it. And you better leaver her alone, she looks happy.” His coach pointed his chin towards you and Rio kissing. Angel slammed back his drink and ordered another one. This was about to be a long night.
“I’m gonna go say hi to Bishop and the guys.” Rio looked for your friends and saw that Angel was right there next to them. “You sure? You want me to go with you?” It warmed your heart that Rio was so protective over you. It was unfamiliar territory for you. Usually, you were the one protecting others. “No, you stay here with your team, I’ll be okay.” Rio quirked his eyebrow, questioning you. He was trying to break you out of the habit of you masking your feelings, pretending you’re fine when you’re really not. “Rio, I promise. I’ll be good.” You patted his chest and started to walk away, but then he caught Angel staring at the two of you real hard and he couldn’t help but give him a show.
Spinning you around into his arms, Rio smashed his lips against yours. His still taste a little bit of yourself from when he wanted to make you his meal. Rio’s hands drifted to your ass and you did little to stop him. Ending the kiss, he tugged your bottom lip slowly releasing it and ending your connection. “Go say hi to your friends.” He whispered in your ear, fixing some of your lipstick that got under your lips.
Angel wanted to knock Rio the clean the fuck out. Who the fuck did he think he was practically dry humping you in public like that? “You better keep your mouth shut. You lost your privileges to be mad.” Coach Hank warned Angel as he saw you approach the group.
“Hey guys!” You were genuinely happy to see all of them. Since, you cut off contact with Angel you haven’t talked to any of them at all.
They all lined up to hug you, almost fighting each other to be the first one. But Angel waited his turn. He had a lot more to say than just hi.
It was a bit awkward at first. Neither one of you made the first move. Eventually, you threw yourself in his arms and you were almost a goner. You did not know that hugging him would bring back all those feelings you tried to bury deep down.
“You look beautiful.” He kept a hand around your wrist, his thumb stroking the inside of it. “Thank you.”
His eyes kept dipping to your dress. There were some cut out pieces revealing more skin than he cared for. “Where’s the rest of your dress?”
Snatching your wrist away, you crossed your arms over your chest to keep yourself from slapping the shit out of Angel. “Rio doesn’t seem to mind.”
Angel invaded your space and glared down at you. “Do I look like Rio?”
“Do I look like Adelita?”
Angel bit the inside of his cheek. He knew he had no reason to question you. You weren’t his, but damn it he wanted you to be.
“This was a mistake coming over here. Go back and talk to your fiancée.”
“She’s not my fiancée.”
Skrtt, you stopped your retreat. “Say what?”
“I said she’s not my fiancée.” Angel wasn’t able to explain further. Adelita finally came and graced you with her presence. She didn’t pay any attention to Angel. All her attention was on you. Adelita was actually pulling you away to talk to one of the other coaches about joining their staff.
This was almost as torturous as talking to Angel. Adelita barely let you get a word in. She was acting like she was your damn agent. Luckily, Rio came and saved the day.
“Where are we going?” You whispered as he pulled you into the hallway. “Don’t worry about it.” He jiggled each door until he found an unlocked door and pushed you through.
“Rio no,” you weakly protested clutching onto his tux. “What? You don’t wanna give daddy a little something something?” He pouted, knowing it was your weakness.
“Okay, but it has to be fast.” Rio kissed you some more knowing how turned you got by simply making out.
Due to your combined breaths getting heavier neither one of you heard the turning of the doorknob. It wasn’t until the light from the hallway shone on you and Rio, exposing your dirty deed.
“Oh shit, my bad dawg!” Angel lifted his head from Adelita’s neck and apologized to the other couple. He didn’t mean it all. Angel saw Rio lead you to the hallway and by the mischievous look he had on his face, he knew his opponent was up to no good.
The little smirk on Angel’s face told you that none of it was an accident. “It’s okay, I wasn’t feeling well anyway. I think we should go home.” You smirked back at Angel. He wasn’t the only one that can play games.
“C’mon Angel, they need to get home.” Adelita winked at you and led an unwilling Angel back to the party.
You were almost out until you got stopped by Mr. Galindo. He was the only team owner you hadn’t talked to that night.
With Miguel Galindo trying to convince you to join his staff and Adelita standing next to you patiently waiting for her chance, Angel and Rio were left alone with each other.
“I don’t know what you’re doing, but stay the fuck away from Y/N. You’re no good for her.” Angel had to refrain from snatching up Rio as he laughed. “You got jokes man.” Rio stepped closer to him, they were basically nose to nose. “At least when I make her cry it’s from my dick and not from being a dickwad.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you kept watch on Rio and Angel. Those two couldn’t be alone without trying to fight in the first 30 seconds.
The scene before you was getting to be too much, but you couldn’t do anything without being disrespectful towards Miguel. Thankfully, Coco and Gilly were watching them too and were able to pull Angel away.
Somehow Miguel talked you into staying for the entire dinner. And because the universe loved you so much you and Rio were assigned to the same table as Angel and Adelita.
After Adelita formally introduced herself to him. And you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or not, but it seemed that she was flirting with Rio. Not that you had anything to worry about. Rio wasn’t entertaining her at all.
“She take my money when I’m in need. Yeah, she’s a trifling’ friend indeed.” As soon as you recognized the notes, you tried to stomp Rio’s foot, but he was too quick.
“Huh, what was that?” Adelita didn’t quite catch what Rio was saying. “Oh nothing, I just got a song stuck in my head. Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger. But she ain’t messing’ with no broke bro.”
Angel had to admit to himself that was funny, but ain’t no way he’ll let Rio know that.
“Stop it!” You whispered in Rio’s ear. Even if Adelita was oblivious to him making fun of her, everyone else surrounding them wasn’t. “Now you know you always tell me that but we both know you don’t mean it hear or at home.” Heat crept up your face and all you could do was hide your face in the crook of Rio’s neck. Rio slightly turned to kiss your forehead while fingering the bracelet he got you.
Once the glint of the bracelet caught Adelita’s eye she snatched your wrist from Rio. You didn’t mind though because you and Rio were off in your own little world. Not even the harsh stare from Angel could tear your eyes away from Angel.
“Ouch! What the fuck, Angel?” Adelita rubbed at her ankle. “My bad.” He frowned as Rio smirked at him knowing full well he was the intended target.
As the night went on, Rio’s and Angel’s antics went up. You don’t know what you did, but you had two petty kings arguing over you. And at times it was funny but also stressful.
The little innuendos concerning you flew over Adelita’s head but everyone else was getting them. They were getting so vicious that Coco and Gilly started another bet on who would swing first.
The event was concluding when things got downright ugly. Angel once again voiced his concerns of Rio dating you. Rio had enough and went for the low blow. “You’re just mad because I already took your girl and I’m about to take your city and your ring.”
Coco and Gilly’s bet was long forgotten as Angel went for Rio. “Don’t be mad, Reyes. I’m just spitting facts. If I’m wanna keep it hunnid, if I threw the right amount of cash, I could have your other girl too.”
“RIO!” You scolded him trying to pull him away. Thank god, Adelita was nowhere near to hear that little bit.
“Nah, babe fuck that.” Rio shrugged you off of him and stood toe to toe to Angel. “You ain’t on top no more big dawg. Get use to it.”
Angel just shook his head and turned around like a wounded animal. “Coco, give Gilly his money.”
“What?” Coco asks too late because Angel threw the first punch at Rio. And once they started fighting it was hard to get them to stop. Even Gilly couldn’t hold Angel. It wasn’t until you did something that they stopped.
Bishop tried to stop you once he noticed what you were attempting to do, but you slipped right past him. The boys were in between blows giving you the perfect opportunity to step in the middle of them. As soon as you became an obstacle each man lowered their fist.
Angel actually started to cower some when he saw your face. This was like your training face but a thousand times worse. Rio never saw you this pissed and he was beginning to get scared to breath the wrong way. Either way both men knew to shut the hell up.
Facing Angel first, you shoved him in the chest. “Angel Ignacio Reyes, I know you were raised better than this.”
“I’m sorry.” Angel mumbled, his eyes downcasted.
“And you!” You faced Rio, pointing a finger in his face. “I’ll deal with you when we get home.”
“Next time leave your petty bullshit for the football field.” You told the both of them before heading out without even waiting for Rio.
Damn, you knew you should’ve stayed your behind at home.
Tagging: @tashawar @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @starrynite7114 @sambucky8 @mygirlrenee @richonne4life @readsalot73 @chaneajoyyy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @jassydwill11 @otomefromtheheart @miss-nori85 @xsweetdellzx @cocogodess15 @ljstraightnochaser @my-rosegold-soul @angrythingstarlight @brattyfics @lovebennycolon @langiinspirations @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @spookys-girl @sesamepancakes @literaturefeen @brownsugarcoffy @thesandbeneathmytoes @fvckthisbxtchup @theartisticqueen @vsfavs @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @angelreyesgirl @woahitslucyylu @marvelmaree @blessedboo
#black!reader#angel reyes x reader#angel reyes x black!reader#angel reyes x plussized!reader#angel reyes x black!plussized!reader#Mayans mc#frizzlefic#frizzlesfic#frizzlewrites#angel reyes
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How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall
I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.
There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.
Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived.
To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun.
Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for.
C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later.
Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao.
I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was.
Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics.
She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread.
The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing.
Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned.
C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves.
C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too.
I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at.
#malicious musings#stacey's adventures in fandom drama#lol#honestly it was such a fucking wild time#if i think of any other specific instances of drama i'll add them#god i wish i had screenshots of some of what went on#but sadly going through archived gaia posts is easier said than done
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S(andwiche)s and Giggles [Juice Ortiz x Reader]
REQUESTED BY @aimkatsz Hey! I just found your blog and I love your writing! Can I make a request for Juice in which the reader and him are great friends and the reader has a crush on him but he is oblivious to it. The reader decides to tell him in a very cute way. Can it have a fluffy ending please! Thank you!
(A/N): i’m so sorry this took so long to post. hope you enjoy, hun! this being my first juice request, i hope i did him justice and wrote him well! feedback and commentary is always welcome babes
SUMMARY: the classic trope of best friends liking each other but one party being oblivious hits the relationship of juice and the reader
TW: none
“COME IN,” you heard, muffled, from behind the door. At the sound of his voice, the corner of her lips curved upwards into a small smile. Your fisted hand lowered from the wood paneling with a reaper carved in the center to the dark brass knob, twisting it to open the door to your favorite Son’s dorm room.
He was seated at his desk with his laptop open, just like Jax told you he would be. The computer-savvy patch was given a task for the club and you knew that he would not be leaving his room for hours, and instead glued to the screen. Your best friend had the habit of getting sucked into his own little world when he was by himself for long periods of time. But that world he would get drawn into was not something that was seen as a good thing.
When you first met Juice when he moved to the small town of Charming from the big city of New York and became a prospect sponsored by Jax, he always wore that goofy little boyish smile on his face. He still does, but behind that smile you learned was a dark void in the back of his mind built from childhood trauma of depression and anxiety. The closer you got to the Puerto Rican, the more you learned about him and his family (or lack thereof), and it broke your heart. The only real family he ever had was the one he made in Charming – with the Sons of Anarchy, with Gemma, and with you.
He wasn’t good alone.
So, you never let him be alone.
You reminded him every day of it. You would always be there.
When the guys told you what Juice was up to, you made some sandwiches out of what was left in the fridge in the Clubhouse kitchen before you wrapped them in some paper towels and headed upstairs to the dorms.
He swiveled around in his chair to see who came in, his face lighting up at the sight of you kicking the door shut behind you as you waved a sandwich in each hand. “Hey, (Y/N)!”
“Heard you were cooped up in here,” You crossed the room, perching yourself on the edge of his desk, handing him one of the sandwiches wrapped up in paper towels, “Figured you hadn’t eaten today yet. And, no, Bobby’s pot muffins don’t count.”
“They were blueberry.”
You rolled your eyes, “OK, Juan.”
He smiled innocently at you as he chewed on the sandwich, making you snort in amusement, which made you both burst out into laughter.
A few beats of silence ticked by as you both shared humored smiles and ate together in peace. As you finished chewing, you cleared your throat catching the boy’s attention, completely enamored by your presence, “So,” you got out while still chewing away at the bread, “am I allowed to know what top secret thing Clay’s got you doing?”
He gestured to the screen, scooting his chair to the side so you could peak over.
“It’s a binary search algorithm…” As soon as he started using computer science terms you checked out and decided to finish your snack while you just watched him ramble. The way his eyes sparkled when they met the glare from the screen. Or the way his jaw ticked when his mouth would close. Or the way the golden rings complimented his skin tone as he would point at something with those long fingers of his. Or the way his shirt would rise up ever so slightly when he hunched over, giving you a teasing look at the grey boxers peeking from above where his jeans rested on his hips. Or the way his muscles would move under his tight white t-shirt.
Every part of him made you fall into a daze.
He called your name one, two, three times before you finally snapped out of whatever trance you were in.
“Hmm?” You blinked a few times as you tried to remember the last thing he said.
He quirked an eyebrow at you, amused that you toned out his ‘geek talk’ as you liked to call it, yet completely oblivious to the longing looks you were sending his way. “You didn’t get any of that, did you?”
“No habla inglés?”
“You’re hilarious, (Y/N).”
“And you’re adorable, Juicey.”
“I’m pretty sure you are the adorable one here,” He shook his head with a wide grin on his face, one of his hands reaching out to poke you in the side, making you squirm.
“Juan Carlos,” You warned as he jabbed your other side, making you jolt, “don’t you dare.”
In a split second, the Son had you pinned against the desk as his fingers attacked your most sensitive spots, tickling your sides, stomach, and right under your neck. It started with you giggling and trying to push him off, and he would back off to give you a minute to catch your breath before he would dive back in to torture you. Then when he started not letting up, you got away to the other side of the room still laughing as he chased you. You were sure everyone downstairs knew it was you two screwing around, but they would probably take that term literally since they always teased the friendship between their youngest member and Gemma’s latest prodigy.
(Half-Sac was pouring a round of shots for Gemma and the club as money and hollers were passed around, obviously them not realizing what was actually going on up there).
Juice’s hand almost clasped around your wrist, but you slipped through his grip and tried to hop over the bed. Both your laughs filled the room as you tripped with one leg still across the mattress and the other flat on the floor. While you were tripped up, Juice caught you by the waist and slammed you on the bed with both his arms encasing you.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” You wheezed out, trying to hit him and block his hands. He nipped at your neck to get you to lose your focus on blocking his attack on your tummy. You gasped out in shock before you were consumed with laughter just straight up cackles at this point once more.
“Surrender!”
“Hell no – Juice!”
“Beg for mercy.”
“No!”
“Da-,“ you broke out in between each laugh, “-mn. It. Juan-“
“Okay! Okay! St-o-p! You’re gonna make me piss myself.”
He chuckled once more before finally moving his hands away from you, allowing you to smack his chest as he let out a “oomf” noise. You adjusted yourself on the bed by laying your stomach as Juice moved onto his back.
“You alright?” His smile morphed into a look of concern. Juice, always the sweetheart. It was one of the main reasons why you fell for him. Besides how much of a softie he was, he was also such a goofball, and fiercly protective when he felt the people he cared about was threatened. (You’ve only ever been a situation like that once because of your relations to the club; nothing too serious, but Juice became more protective of you after that).
He was someone you could play video games wiith. He was someone who’d give you his sweatshirt when you were cold, or when he didn’t have one and just bring you into a bear hug instead for natural body heat. And, man, did he give the best hugs.
You chuckled, “Yeah, I’m good.” You pressed your face into the blanket under you, mumbling, “You’re lucky I like you.”
He gave you an odd look. “What was that?” The patch’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion, sitting up while still keeping his eyes on you. Did he hear you right?
You sent him a confused look right back. What? Then it registered what you said. Out loud. Oh fuck me. And internal panic set in.
Plan B. Plan B. Plan B. Plan B.
Play stupid.
“What was what?”
“You said you like me?” His response sounded more like a question, either ensure thats what he heard or did hear you but was confused by what you meant.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“See!” You exclaimed with your hands thrown in the air.
“What? No! I-”
“Yeah!” You called out loudly, knowing playing stupid wasn’t helping your situation. “Coming Chibs!”
“Chibs didn’t call for you,” the boy shook his head, grabbing you by your waist before you got off the bed, keeping you pinned down by his lower half practically covering yours.
Despite him pining you to his bed, you still attemted to escape this situation as fight-or-flight mode kicked in. “You sure? Because I’m pretty sure-”
“Cut the bullshit.”
Well, damn. Ok, daddy. When did he get like this and where could you sign up for more of it?
The dead serious expression slowly turned into a “please-tell-me-the-truth” look with his puppy dog eyes that turned your heart to mush. “You like me?”
You chewed on the inside of your lip as you debated your answer. You already slipped up, might as well come clean since their is no way you’re getting out of this one. And if even by chance you would be able to escape the dorm, you would be faced with Detective Gemma and her hounds in leather. You finally answered with a meek, “yeah.”
Juice busts out in the biggest grin you’ve ever seen on his face, which makes you about as confused as he is half the time with the club and their teasing. He moves one of the hands he has flat on the bed to hold up his weight down to stoke the line of your jaw. You try to analyze his face for any hint to what he’s thinking but you’re drawing blanks due to that stupid, blinding smile he’s wearing.
“Can I kiss you?”
If you were eating or drinking anything, you would have surely choked. You were surprised you didn’t choke on air alone over his question. Your eyes widening must have given away your shock because his face fell and he backed off of you.
“I’m sorry. I thought-”
And before either of you could grasp what was happening, your hands shot out to clutch onto the lapels of his kutte and yank him forward, your lips clashing together. The kiss was shorter and not as deep as you wanted but it satisfied you that you were able to get the short and sweet one. You loosened your grip on his kutte, allowing him to pull back slightly. When his gaze met yours, you offered an innocent, bashful, curled-in lip smile.
“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to do that,” you admitted, breaking the silence that had consumed the room.
“Not as much as me,” he quipped, running a hand over his faux mohawk.
“Mmm,” you shook your head, “I don’t think so, Juicey.”
“Want me to show you?”
“Yes please.”
SOA TAG LIST: @cutekittylexie @talicat713 @woahitslucyylu @xx--day-dreamer--xx @sweetpeaflower01 @rebelwrites
#juice ortiz x reader#juan juice ortiz x reader#juan juice ortiz#juice ortiz#soa#sons of anarchy#soa imagine#soa one shot#sons of anarchy x reader#sons of anarchy imagine#sons of anarchy one shot#juice ortiz imagine#juice ortiz one shot#soa fic#sons of anarchy fic#soa x reader#juan carlos ortiz#juan carlos ortiz x reader#juice ortiz oneshot#juice ortiz imagines#juan carlos ortiz oneshot#juan carlos ortiz one shot#juan carlos ortiz imagines#juan carlos ortiz imagine#soa imagines#soa oneshot#sons of anarchy oneshot#sons of anarchy imagines#soa fanfiction#soa fanfic
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TGF Thoughts-- 5x07: And the fight had a detente...
This episode is a wild ride, so if you haven’t seen it yet and you aren’t spoiled, don’t read this. Just go watch it.
Ave Maria plays over a photo montage of cancelled men, including Kevin Spacey, Louie CK, and Scott Rudin. (Scott Rudin, if you don’t know the name, is a Broadway/Hollywood producer who treated his assistants like absolute shit. He’s the inspiration for the possessed producer episode of Evil—I think it’s the third episode of the series—and Robert King does not like him one bit.)
And then the episode opens with Wackner, Del, and Cord discussing the Armie Hammer cannibalism ordeal. Whew, this is not what I wanted to be thinking about first thing on a Thursday morning. I do not think I can put into words how boring I find debating whether or not someone should have been “cancelled.” Cancellation is usually about rich people facing consequences for shitty actions, and those consequences have never involved anyone’s rights being infringed upon, so why should I care about someone being cancelled? And, while I know that society/people on Twitter don’t always understand nuance, I’d like to think that when it comes to the most notable examples of cancellation... no one is losing their livelihood over false or minor allegations.
There are so, so, so many issues in the world. Cancellation affects a handful of high profile, usually white, straight, male, celebrities. Why should I give a shit about, like, Louie CK not being able to make as much money as he used to? I just do not and cannot find it interesting.
I’m not surprised David Cord and Del Cooper find this topic interesting—Del likely hates worrying that all of his comedians could get cancelled and put him in a financially tricky spot; Cord probably says things like “Woke Mob” unironically. And as for Wackner, he almost certainly has a skewed understanding of what actually happens when someone’s cancelled and sees a place where he can step in and add some order. Blah. It’s just so boring.
"People are getting canceled without a trial, no evidence presented against them,” Wackner says. This is not it, Wackner! This is such a strawman argument. We don’t need the legal system to adjudicate people being assholes to each other, and in cases where a crime is committed or a particular individual can sue for damages, that is what happens. If you act shitty and then your sponsors realize you’re toxic and drop you, like, it is what it is. You can feel free to respond via a Notes App screenshot where half of your apology is actually just whining about cancel culture and then you say “I’m sorry if anyone took offense at what I did” instead of saying “I’m sorry I said/did hurtful things” and when people don’t take that seriously, maybe it’s because you didn’t take it seriously, either.
“There are a lot of reasons these accusations never go to trial. The victims finally get to accuse the victimizer face to face,” Wackner explains. Were the victims asking for this?
Marissa shares my question, noting that if the victims don’t want to speak up, then the victimizer would have the court to himself. This raises a new question: who is even bringing these cases? Are Wackner, Cord, and Del just deciding they want to do things as cases and then getting everyone else on board? This sounds bad!
Apparently, according to Wackner, “if #MeToo relies on mob rule, it’ll exhaust itself.” What... evidence is there for this? I get why people panic about the POSSIBILITY of this happening, even though I don’t share their panic, but is there any actual evidence that #MeToo is losing steam because of false allegations because cancellation isn’t a formal process? I don’t believe there is.
The test case we have the pleasure of seeing this week is about “Louie CK two,” whom I shall refer to as LCK2 instead of learning his name.
Now, suddenly, Marissa is asking one of LCK2’s victims to testify. She doesn’t want to participate because it’s just another way for LCK2 to get his career back. Marissa decides to be idealistic and say this is a real opportunity to confront LCK2 with his crime. I suppose she isn’t wrong, and that is what happens next, but, again, meh.
Apparently David Cord is going to defend LCK2. You know what would get cancelled in five seconds? A David Cord funded show that has David Cord actually on it, railing against cancel culture! Can you IMAGINE the thinkpieces?
God, when is this episode going to move on from this extremely irritating premise?
Marissa decides she wants to be the prosecutor. Wackner says if she prosecutes LCK2, she has to prosecute the academic who used a word that sounds like the n-word and lost her job for it. Marissa thinks the academic shouldn’t have been fired, but Wackner insists she has to take both cases.
“Let’s go into court,” Wackner says, and, thank goodness, we do go into court: REAL court, where we are talking about REAL issues.
In court, Liz and Diane are suing the police over the death of a black girl who was tased by the police. Her friend is on the stand and it’s quite emotional. Also, Diane tries to pass Liz a note and Liz ignores it. Why would you have two name partners on this case if they aren’t even going to try to work together?
You can tell things are tense between two TGF characters when they talk at the same time in court but are on the same side.
Hiiiiii Abernathy! ILY!
The victim had a heart condition, which the police lawyer argues is the actual cause of death. Police lawyer also argues that since this witness posted some ACAB lyrics on Instagram, she must be biased. Eyeroll.
Liz calls the other lawyer racist; the other lawyer tries to make Liz look like she is only on her client’s side because she’s black and that Liz is being absurd.
Cancel culture court happens. We’re dealing with the academic case first. I don’t feel like talking about the cancel culture shit too much, so here is my take on this case as a whole: (1) I don’t think the actual word in question, which isn’t actually the n-word, is enough on its own to get someone fired (2) I also don’t think anyone can use that word, regardless of its meaning or history, without understanding how it will come across. (3) The teacher did not get fired for simply using this word once (4) This teacher believes that anyone who is from a group that’s been marginalized in history should have to confront that marginalization with as little sympathy and respect as possible because it will help them be more resilient. So basically, if you are from the dominant group then you don’t get challenged. She believes it is her job to do this. She is an egotistical asshole who has no business teaching.
Cord wants everyone to have to say the full word in question. He says this pretentiously (though I don’t think saying “Said word” is that pretentious, tbh) and Wackner rules against him and also makes him wear a powdered wig for using “obtuse language.”
Marissa is not trying at all with this case at first, since she doesn’t believe in it. That’s shitty, Marissa. If you want to be a lawyer at a firm like RL you’re going to have to fight for all of your clients.
Marissa makes a Latin joke and ends up in a powdered wig, too.
The prof says, in one sentence, that she didn’t know what she was doing using the word and also that the black student who took offense thinks college is supposed to be warm, cuddly, and unchallenging. So it was a challenge, then, prof?
I like this student. And I love that she calls Marissa out for obviously not trying.
“The optics matter. Racially,” Diane says to Liz, who agrees. Diane, strategically, makes it about gender first (the cop is male, some jurors may react to a woman questioning a man), then makes it about how she should be the one questioning the cop since Liz is black. It would make the jury more “comfortable” (hey, there’s that word again!) Diane says. She says she is being pragmatic.
Diane says that she could be “more dispassionate”. Be or come across as, Diane? Either way, Liz, who knows full well what the optics look like given that this isn’t her first time in court, doesn’t agree with Diane that they need to come across as dispassionate.
Then Diane just changes the subject to the firm drama. “Liz, you’re shoving me out of my name partner position because of my race.” Like that’s the issue!
“I am doing nothing. You are the one who got our racist clients to whine to STR Laurie about us,” Liz counters. “Those clients bring in a great deal of money, and they are not racists,” Diane insists. Yes. Sure. Diane just happened to choose white male clients who were “comfortable” with her to talk to. I have no doubt they’d have reacted poorly to any change in representation, but Diane was counting on those particular clients having some discomfort with their new lawyers.
Liz calls her out and Diane’s still trying to play it like she just had to inform her long-term clients and it just had to be done this way. But, when Liz asks if Diane thinks the clients would’ve had the same reaction if their new representation were to be white, Diane says that maybe her clients are worried about racial grudges. So, what you’re saying is you knew exactly what you were doing, huh, Diane?
I get why Diane doesn’t like being pushed out, because who would, but Diane, this isn’t about you. And if you didn’t want to make it about race, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared on a panel about how great it is that your firm is majority black? You can’t have it both ways.
Liz notes that Diane felt “entitled” to her name partnership. This is accurate, though based on revenue and stature I don’t think it can be denied that Diane deserves name partner status (generally speaking). Diane went over to RBK, was like, “sure, I’ll be a junior partner, thank you so much for the opportunity, I can’t even pay my capital contribution right now but what if I were name partner in three months?” and that is both entitlement and knowing one’s own worth, but mostly entitlement.
(Liz does not act entitled, but if we want to get into who deserves their partnership more—again generally speaking, not their partnership at a black firm specifically—it is definitely Diane! Liz literally only has this job because her dad was important.)
“I think that Barbara Kolstad was shoved out because you felt entitled to her position,” Liz shouts. OMG, a mention of Barbara?!?!?!??!?!? THANK YOU, WRITERS!!!
(This is a slight bit of revisionist history but I’ll allow it, and I think it’s right in thought even if it’s not right on the details. Barbara wasn’t shoved out—Barbara chose to go to a different firm that offered her a better deal—but I don’t think Barbara would’ve been on that trajectory had it not been for Diane’s presence at the firm. Barbara was in charge of a firm that shared her values when, suddenly, her partner decided that they needed to pursue profit over all else and needed Diane to execute that strategy. Maybe no one made a move directly against her, but Adrian and Diane changed the mission of RBK until it was no longer somewhere Barbara wanted to work.
“We can’t work together if you don’t respect me,” Diane screams at Liz. “No, we can’t work together if you use race cynically,” Liz responds. Diane gets even angrier, swears a bunch, and then says “You want to come after me, you come after me with an honest argument about my lack of competence, my lack of worth.” Diane, you are fighting a completely different battle here! You can be entitled and also correct and also good at your job. This is what you used to accuse Alicia of all the time. The fact you’ve turned this into something about your skill level when it’s about the meaning of having a black firm is only proving Liz’s point.
“Your unworthiness—which you don’t seem to want to acknowledge—is that you can’t be the top dog in a black firm,” Liz says. Exactly. But Diane just storms off.
Now the cop is on the stand. He did not know the victim had a heart condition. Uh, obviously, why would he have known that?
Liz is aggressive in court; Diane thinks this is the wrong strategy. Without knowing who is on the jury, I have no idea which one of them is correct.
The next move is to get the cop’s ex-wife, who he abused, on the stand.
Goodie, it’s cancel culture court. Things go well for Marissa, but Del wants to know why Marissa wasn’t that passionate about the n-word case. Marissa says she feels like it’s not the n-word, like that is a valid reason to not represent your client to the best of your ability. “It is. It always is,” says Del.
Marissa heads back to RL, and as she walks, the camera follows her and moves through the space until we end up in Liz’s office, where she gets a news alert about the cop from the COTW. He’s been killed, seemingly in retaliation for his actions. The news is quick to suggest the trial might’ve encouraged the killing. “Oh, fuck.” Diane says as she watches the news. Aaaand credits (at 20 minutes in!)
From the promos, I thought this was going to be a Very Serious Episode about police brutality. From the opening, I thought it was going to be an insufferable episode about cancel culture. I was wrong! (Though, I suppose, some of the cancel culture stuff is still insufferable.)
Yay for Carrie Preston, who directed this episode. I read an interview with her and she talked about how there’s a “look book” for directing TGF episodes and I have never wanted to see anything as badly as I want to see this look book. (Am I exaggerating? Probably. But I might not be.)
After credits, Marissa finds Carmen and Jay to ask them if “n-word-ly" is offensive. She acknowledges she’s being annoying but they let her continue anyway. Jay finds it offensive. Carmen does not. This seems fitting with their characters, and I love that this scene acknowledges that not every black person is going to have the exact same reaction to everything.
I want Carmen to have more to do! While I’m glad the show isn’t forcing her to have a large role in every plot just because, I feel like she’s gone missing for the middle part of the season. My guess is that their priority with Carmen is setting her up to be an ongoing part of the cast who grows into being someone we want a lot from rather than forcing her plots from the start... but surely we could get a little more of her! I doubt she’s a one-season character like I assume Wackner will be.
The cop’s murder changes the vibe in court. Abernathy calls a moment of silence in his memory. “We’re fucked,” Liz whispers to Diane.
And indeed they are. The cop’s ex no longer wants to talk about how abusive he was—she wants to talk about how great he was. Whose idea was it to still put her on the stand?! Idk about legal procedures but this seems like a really avoidable mistake!
Diane argues that the cop’s death has prejudiced the jury. Abernathy decides to call a “voir dire de novo,” using an obtuse Latin phrase that would not be permitted in Wackner’s court. (Love the little parallels in this episode, like this, the transition between courts earlier, and how much of Marissa being called out on her whiteness feels like a thematic extension of everything going on with Diane.)
Cancel culture court continues. Carmen shows up.
I don’t really get how June, the victim of LCK2, potentially losing a headlining gig for a bad set instead of retaliation from LCK2, scores him a point. One, if she was a rising store, one bad set shouldn’t have damned her career. Two, isn’t it enough to prove that he masturbated in front of women who didn’t want him to do that???????
Having June perform her act with no prep in Wackner’s court so they can judge whether or not she is funny is a wildly bad idea. So now Wackner is an arbiter of humor as well as cancel culture?
This whole system is silly and I reject the whole premise but June should not lose two points for the logic that Wackner + the audience don’t find June funny --> June must’ve had her career derailed because she just isn’t funny (how’d she book the headliner gig, then?) --> LCK2 scores points??? He still masturbated in front of her without her consent!
Using cancel culture to show Wackner’s court is going too far/slipping into bad territory: I’m on board with this. Using Wackner’s court to actually comment on cancel culture: Ugh. The writers seem to be trying to do both.
Lol at Abernathy having Stacey Abrams’ book on his desk.
Marissa argues the n-word case more passionately, because these writers love to make situations that seemed clear cut seem more uncertain. It’s no coincidence they have the sexual harassment case look murkier (though, again, June being bad at comedy does not negate the sexual harassment!) right before they have the n-work case begin to tilt in favor of the professor’s cancellation.
Hahah what bullshit about trying to prepare the students for a world that won’t be kind to them. Do you seriously think your black students need YOU to prepare them?
This lady thinks history classes have to describe rapes in detail to get students to sympathize. No, no they fucking do not.
She also says she’d use the n-word if she were teaching a topic where it might come up. Um, no?
Mr. Elk (this is what I call Ted Willoughby, Idiot Reporter, after he said “things of that elk” in his first appearance) is attacking Diane and Liz on his show. Diane and Liz are, apparently, “Marxist slip-and-fall lawyers” and Mr. Elk plays a clip of Diane saying cops need to be held accountable. Obviously, this was before the cop’s death and meant to be about the legal system, but it looks like Diane’s calling for his murder. I also love how they go out of their way to only pause the clip on unflattering frames of Diane.
Liz wants to use this in court—I forgot that Liz is super sneaky but this tracks; she is always quick to use things to her advantage and we’ve known that about her since her strategy with the DNC in 2x07 (to make outlandish allegations and then drop them before presenting proof). Julius wants to get Liz and Diane security.
That security is, apparently Jay. I think they’ve shown Jay as security before when Lucca went viral. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.
I was, briefly, worried for Liz and Diane’s safety, especially after I saw all the angry cops waiting for them in court. Then I thought, oh, well at least they’re in court, they should be safe from being shot there. Then I remembered 5x15. Then I laughed at myself.
Liz’s new strategy works and Abernathy uses more Latin. But, they can’t get any more jurors thrown. (They’re going for a mistrial.)
Oh, Carmen is back again! She did SO MUCH in that court scene where she appeared and then disappeared! She’s chatting with Marissa and spots LCK2 in the RL offices.
Apparently, LCK2 negotiated a contract with Del, with David Lee’s help. (Why would David Lee be doing entertainment law?) Suddenly everything makes sense to Marissa.
She calls Del to the stand. This—and, honestly, everything after this—makes me wonder how much of this would ever make it to air. Why would Del televise this?
What a shock—Del wants LCK2 back on his streaming service (which I don’t think has a name LOL).
Somehow Marissa’s questions become about Wackner and whether or not Wackner is an impartial judge, which doesn’t seem like the core issue. Wackner has made it pretty clear that his stance is that he doesn’t care if others are corrupt around him or try to use him; he’s going to be impartial no matter what. Why not play that up instead of making the entire show look staged and Wackner look complicit, Marissa?
Like, why is Marissa asking Wackner if he’s prejudged the case?! Why isn’t she just trying to like, get him to declare a mistrial because there is a conflict of interest? She can make a version of this argument without accusing Wackner of PREJUDGING, which she knows—I know, so she knows—will set him off. Wackner truly believe he thinks he is impartial. It’s not smart strategy to question that (even if we all know that Wackner is not impartial!)
Wackner blows up at Marissa and shouts at her. He tells her to get the fuck out of court.
This is certainly dramatic, but again, would Del ever choose to air this? I doubt it.
On her way to work, Diane notices hot pink spray paint in the elevator. When she exits the elevator, the whole firm is gathered in the lobby. Someone has painted COP KILLERS across the elevator bank. “Security doesn’t know how they got in,” Jay says. “Of course they don’t,” Diane responds. “They suggest we call the cops,” Jay says. I love this little exchange. I wasn’t exactly wondering how someone got in, but I like the show making it clear how unprotected Diane and Liz are right now and why.
Julius appears and says that Mr. Elk is saying something new. Diane and Liz sit down to watch and the tone of this episode completely shifts.
I had forgotten completely that Liz’s dad’s assault issues are out in public until Mr. Elk called him “a disgraced civil rights leader.” It doesn’t feel like they’re out in public! Also I would believe Mr. Elk calling him disgraced for no reason at all.
Y’all, when Mr. Elk said the name “Duke Roscoe,” my jaw dropped. WHAT A CALLBACK.
This scene, and really, everything in this plot from here on out, is a delight. It just keeps going and going. It is the best kind of fanservice.
1x11 has been, for no real reason, on my mind since 5x04. It popped out to me as an example of this show’s humor so I talked about it in that recap. I nearly mentioned it in my 5x06 recap when Diane laughed at Julius’s suggestion that they start a firm together. I rewatched 1x11, by complete chance, like two weeks ago. How weird that I'm somehow on the show’s wavelength about this!
Also I made a joke about Mr. Elk last week without knowing he’d be back this episode. I would like to think I conjured this.
(1x11 is a really pivotal episode for TGW, even if it isn’t one of the most notable episodes overall. It's composer David Buckley’s first episode and that ending, with Diane laughing, is one of the earliest moments of TGW showing its sense of humor and playing to its strengths.)
Mr. Elk notes that they “rarely see” Kurt, which is apparently evidence that Diane is a lesbian. Hahahahahahah. Mr. Elk also wouldn’t want to note Kurt, despite his recent controversy, because to his viewers, Kurt’s beliefs would make Diane seem more sympathetic.
GUYS, THE WRITERS DECIDED TO MAKE A CALLBACK TO AN ICONIC MOMENT FROM AN EPISODE THAT AIRED OVER A DECADE AGO AND THEN BUILD ON IT. I cannot express how fucking happy this makes me.
Now, Mr. Elk says, Diane and Liz are an item!
What’s better than Diane laughing hysterically at the original allegations? Diane doing it again, eleven years later, JOINED BY LIZ.
This also works super well to cut the tension between Diane and Liz. I assume this isn’t the end of the name partnership drama, but I think it might be the end of Diane and Liz being pissed at each other. Since the name partnership drama was never really about Diane and Liz (Liz seems to want Diane to stay on...), I’m fine with that.
Because this is an episode full of callbacks that delight me, Del asks Liz when he gets to meet her son! HER SON STILL EXISTS!
It sounds like Liz and Del still aren’t fully official, which clarifies why they don’t seem to be a couple in public.
Del brings up the Diane rumor (jokingly) and Liz jokes along. I love that we get to see this playful side of Liz.
Wackner’s watching his outburst with regret. Del calms him down and notes that this is good TV (why... would Del air this... it makes DEL look worse than anyone!). Wackner calls Marissa to apologize; she picks up and accepts his apology.
Abernathy calls Liz and Diane into chambers. He’s worried he was “insensitive”-- he's noticed the tension between Liz and Diane, but now he thinks it was a lover’s spat.
Diane puts on a poker face and leans in towards Liz. She starts nodding attentively and thanks Abernathy. Liz smiles and doubles down: she’s not just going to play along, she’s going to milk it. She gets a juror kicked for homophobia, which means a mistrial. Shameless. I love it.
Diane and Liz playing off each other as Abernathy tries to look like as much of an ally as possible is comedy gold.
Diane even calls Liz darling. Omg.
LCK2 is on the stand, being charismatic and annoying. Of course he is. This is what happens when you give someone who is known for being able to connect with a crowd... a crowd and the benefit of the doubt.
LCK2 is talking about “stupid women” in his new set. Why... is Del giving that a platform at all? See, the fact that Del thinks it is not only interesting but also somehow essential to let LCK2 make jokes about sexual harassment is why I can’t take this episode seriously. Why should I be more outraged about someone who did something shitty not getting a trial for his shitty but legal behavior than I am about powerful people continuing to offer shitty people platforms? Only one of these seems outrageous to me.
Wackner decides that the professor did something “awful but lawful” and that’s it. So you’re saying that if it isn’t illegal, it doesn’t get decided in your court, either? What was the point of this, then?
The professor says she doesn’t want that—she wants the school to know she’s being punished so she can get her job back. The student storms out, rightfully. Wackner’s job isn’t to offer someone who wants punishment some form of penance, like she can exchange community service hours for offensive remarks. It’s to... well, idk what it is to do, since this whole thing doesn’t really make sense and he makes the rules, but I don’t think his verdict has to be about giving anyone what they want. I’m disappointed that Wackner comes up with a punishment and I don’t think it’s going to get her her job back.
LCK2 loses, too, because he hasn’t made amends. Wackner doesn’t want to fine him because he’s too rich for a fine to matter. Cord argues that LCK2 deserves a second chance. I mean, sure, but is he being denied a second chance? He doesn’t deserve an easy path back to his fame just because he wants it.
Wackner mentions prison. At first I was like, oh, that’s a nice throwaway line that he mentioned prison! This ties into what I was saying a few weeks ago about how Wackner likes the institutions that already exist—he just thinks they’re imperfect! It’s fitting that he’s not a prison abolitionist!
And then the episode actually went there: Wackner, thanks to David Cord’s private prison company, actually sentences LCK2 to prison. This is deeply uncomfortable (and of questionable legality). Wackner’s system is just going to recreate prison? Worse, private prison? He’s creating an unchecked, privatized legal system?! This sounds bad! Kudos to the show for taking this to some place so dark—I knew Wackner’s system would start to show cracks, but I didn’t realize they’d go this far.
And I’m not sure what the end game is with this! All I know is I’m not on board with Wackner sending people to prison (except as a plot—I am very on board with this plot) and neither is Marissa.
I do not think viewers of the reality show will like the prison twist or the fact that Cord is financing a court and prison! Can you imagine the scandal!
And what do the contracts look like that allow Wackner to sentence someone to prison? Can LCK2 leave any time he wants? If so, then how does the prison sentence help? If not, is that legal?
Del wants it to be a 2 week sentence, not 3, because this means LCK2 will have to miss his taping in two weeks. I have many questions. (1) Is Wackner’s show airing live? If not, then why do they need to rush the taping of the special? They could push it quite easily. (2) Why can’t they push the taping? This guy is a huge deal and enough potential $$ that Del wants to rehabilitate his career... so why does the taping have to be on this particular day and time?
Is there really an Exxon Mobile case, I wonder?
I like that we spend a good amount of time watching Marissa’s reactions to this latest addition to Wackner’s court. Combined with the score, Marissa’s facial expression serves to underline that private prisons are not good here! This isn’t Wackner getting legitimate methods of enforcement... this is just opening a pandora’s box of highly questionable extrajudicial practices.
I do love that this episode ends up here: it starts out like it’s going to be about cancel culture silliness and ends up being about the escalation of Wackner’s tactics.
Funny how both of the cancelled people end up being found guilty by Wackner, huh! Almost like they actually did something wrong and faced the consequences!
Liz and Diane get called in to talk to Liz’s favorite department: HR. They’re asked to sign “love contracts” to confirm things are consensual. I find it hilarious that HR gives them the paper before even asking if it’s true.
Liz grabs a pen and signs. Diane follows her lead. They look at each other and smile politely at HR.
I am... not sure how to read this last scene! Is it a fuck-you to HR? A way of easing tensions? A way for Liz to get people to stop talking to her about removing Diane as name partner because no one will want to ask if they’re really involved? Something else? Help me understand!
Curious to see where things go next. I can see LCK2 coming back for another episode but it also wouldn’t surprise me to never see him again. Similarly, I could see some glances/discussion of Diane and Liz’s romantic relationship next week, or I could see it never being mentioned again, or I could see it being mentioned next season out of the blue.
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