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emmlovesmarvel · 1 month

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Chapter 10 - Stitches in Wanda’s Kitchen

Yelena POV

"God, I'm nervous." I shakily say putting my hand to my forehead, nervously smiling. I can't even make eye contact with her.

"Take as long as you need." Kate says to me.

"So I see you never stopped being the most perfect woman I've ever met."

"Hardly." She laughs tilting her head back.

"Kate, I'm truly sorry for what I did. It wasn't fair of me to bring up your past issues with your mom and use it against you. I didn't mean it. I was so angry with myself and I took it out on you. I realize I had been using your trauma against you. It became a pattern. I became a monster. I became just like Dreykov." I say with a quiver in my voice. Kate puts her hand on my cheek with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know how to show you how sorry I am. It wasn't fair of me. This whole time I've been out of the state, just me and Fanny. I've been going to therapy. I realize how it became a pattern and I learned how to break it." I pause and look up in her bright blue eyes.

"This isn't to manipulate or control the situation. This is truly how I feel." I take a deep, shaky inhale. "I'm still so madly in love with you Kate. You are the person that is meant for me. By letting me say this and you actively listening just shows me that you are the best person I've ever known and will ever know. I'm not going to try to convince you to get back together with me. I just ask that you try to understand that I'm better now. I'm a good person. I am a good person." I break down into a sob and fall on my knees in tears.

I blearily see her kneel down in front of me crying just as hard. She takes me into her arms tightly and holds me for a while.

"I see the change, Lena. I do. I forgive you. Thank you for your apology." She says pulling away, taking my face into her hands.

"What you did, really hurt me. But I know that it was a trauma response too. You have always been a good person, Yelena Belova. You have been through so much shit that no one should ever have to go through. I am still mad, to this day, that you were ever led to believe that you had no place in the world and that you aren't a good person. This just shows me how wrong those awful people were. You are so good, Lena. So good." She tearily says.

"I still love you, Yelena. I've always loved you. It broke me to leave and say goodbye. I had to in order to protect myself and my peace. I knew you would make the decision to recognize your behavior and change because that's the type of person you are. I'm glad you're in therapy. I want us to be the best people we can be. Separate and together." She smiles and hugs me again.

I pull back and take her face in my hands. She leans in and our lips meet like they have so many other times before. This time is much more passionate and full of love. This kiss is a new beginning.

"We should probably stand. My knees aren't what they used to be." I laugh, standing up.

"I would kneel in lava if it meant we could stay together." She says putting her forehead against mine.

"We'll I don't plan on going to any volcanos anytime soon." God I missed her laugh.

Next thing I feel is someone harshly bumping into my shoulder.

"Excuse you, asshole." I say as he keeps walking.

"Fuck you, fucking dykes." He mutters.

Now that I think about it, I've noticed him circling this block the whole time Kate and I have been out here.

"Hey wait. Why have you been stalking us?" He looks at me and I see his face under the hat he's wearing.

Jay.

He starts running.

I chase him down to the end of the block with Kate hot on my heels. To our luck, he bumps hard into a random man and falls. I force him up and put him against the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask lowly, breathing hard in his face.

"I came to teach that gay bitch a lesson. She belongs to me." He says.

I let go of him and go to hold my stomach where the dagger is sticking out of me. I fall to my knees and Kate sees what's wrong.

"Oh my god. Yelena don't move okay we're gonna get help."

"No. Go get that motherfucker. I'll be okay." I say.

"Yelena I'm not leaving you. Please." She says with tears welling.

"Kate, that's Jay. That's who hurt Max. Please you have to get him. He can't hurt her again. I promised I would protect her."

"I'll be okay, I promise. I'll call Nat." I say as she nods and sprints after Jay.

Nat POV

I wake up on the couch, hearing my phone ring.

"Hello?" I say tiredly.

"Nat. It's Jay. He was stalking the house. Kate and I chased him down. Kate's still after him."

I sit up immediately putting my shoes on.

"Where are you, what happened?"

"The bastard stabbed me. I'm in the alley on 7th."

"I'm coming."

"Hurry. I love you."

"I love you too, Lena. Hold on okay? I'll be right there." I hang up the phone.

"Wanda. Wanda, honey wake up." I shake my wife's shoulders.

"What? What is it?" She sits up trying to read my face.

"Yelena was just stabbed by Jay."

She stands up quickly.

"Where is he? How the fuck did he get out?" She says going towards her shoes.

"I don't know, my love. But you have to stay here with Max. Don't let her know just yet okay, she needs to sleep. I'm going to pick Yelena up and bring her back here okay? Lena said Kate was chasing after Jay. Kate is very fast okay? I'm going to call Fury on the way. Can you get the table ready?"

Wanda and I have a homemade crash cart in our storage closet for situations like this. Thank the lord for Cho. Being retired avengers means having fast and reliable resources.

"Okay yes I can do that. Be careful please. I love you."

I kiss her and hug her quickly.

"I love you."

I get in my car and start driving.

"Romanoff?"

"How the fuck did Jay get out?" I ask angrily.

"What? What are you talking about, I'm not aware of this. The local precinct said they had it under control. A very good friend of mine is the chief."

"Yeah well he didn't do a good job. Yelena was just stabbed by him after chasing him because he was lurking around my house. Kate Bishop is chasing him as we speak." I say.

"I'll handle the rest, get to Yelena okay? I'm sorry about this Romanoff. I'll keep you updated. He won't be getting out again." The line goes flat as I keep speeding down the road.

I get out of the car and see Yelena sitting up against the wall, pain grimaced across her face.

"Why am I always saving your ass?" I smirk as I help her up.

"I am forever your little sestra." She smiles as we walk to the car.

"Have you heard from Kate?"

"Yes, she lost him. She's on her way to the house now."

"Damn. I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch. I swear I'm going to." I say, white knuckling the steering wheel.

"Can we get this dagger out of me first?" She laughs.

"Yeah, we can do that."

"God, Max is going to be so scared. I can't imagine how she's going to feel. And knowing he's the one that stabbed me. She's going to blame herself."

"I know. I know. We just have to remind her that it isn't. She has us, Lena. We'll continue to protect her, okay? No one else is going to get hurt under my watch." I say as we pull into the driveway.

When we get in, Wanda is prepping the stitch kit. She smiles sadly and kisses Yelena's forehead and then my lips.

"Thank you for protecting us. Let's get this out of you." She says to Yelena as she lays down on the table.

Luckily the stab wasn't too deep but Yelena was one to hide how much pain she was in. He managed to miss the scar right above her belly button from a mission a few years ago. If he had reopened that scar, this would've been a different scenario.

I hear footsteps on the stairs and immediately know it's my daughter.

I see her eyes dart over to Yelena and Wanda at the kitchen table. We then hear the front door open and see Kate, out of breath, walk over to them.

"What happened?!" Max asks about to bolt over to them.

I block her from going over there and just hug her for a minute.

"Mom, please what's going on?"

I take a deep breath, wanting to avoid telling her.

"Yelena was stabbed."

She pulls out of my hold.

"WHAT?! Is she okay. Oh my god, Lena are you okay? Mama is she going to be okay?" She frantically asks.

"It's just a flesh wound my love, I'm okay. Your mama here is an excellent nurse." Lena makes light of the situation.

"What happened?" Max asks softly as her tears start to flow.

Kate takes her in her arms and rubs her back and kisses her head.

She looks up at me and I nod.

Kate POV

"Max, Yelena and I were outside talking when Jay bumped into Yelena. We chased him down the alley and Yelena had him pinned. He stabbed her and ran. I chased after him but I lost him. I'm so sorry baby." I say.

Her whole body tensed in my arms at the mention of her abusers name. I held her tighter as she gasped and cried into me. Seeing her react like this makes me want to shoot a bomb arrow through Jay's chest.

She makes her way to the table and Yelena takes her hand and kisses it.

"This is all my fault." Max says with her head low.

"Absolutely it is not, Maxie. I promise. This is all his fault. He made the stupid decision to mess with this family and he's not going to get away with it, we promise." Yelena says.

"Fury is handling this as we speak. No one can hide from Nick Fury." Nat says, putting her hands on Max's tense shoulders.

"This is my fault. If I had never dated him, if I had never brought him to our home, this never would've happened." Max says sadly, making my heart clench.

"Max, honey. I know you feel like this is your fault, but it's not baby. I promise. Yelena is going to be okay. I'm stitching her up right now. All of us in this room would go to the ends of this Earth to protect you. Especially me and mom. You are a victim, my love. I know what happened is scary but don't let this take control of the amazing progress you've made okay? We will handle Jay and you will never have to see him again. We won't let him hurt anyone else." Wanda says to Max as she puts on new gloves to start stitching Yelena's wound.

"Is there anything I can do?" Max asks looking up with her tear-stained face.

"Max, baby why don't we give your moms and Yelena some space to work, okay? You can come upstairs with me. I need to take a shower and I want to use yours, you have the best shampoo. And the cutest clothes." I say guiding her away from the table.

"Um excuse me, my clothes are cute too and my hair smells the best." Yelena pipes in making us all laugh, except Max, who just barely smiles.

"Thank you." Nat says to me and I nod as we leave to go up the stairs.

When we get to Max's room, I can see from the look on her face that she's shut down. Nothing is going to get through to her at this moment.

"Will you come sit on the toilet while I shower? Just like we used to? I miss having your company." I smile, breaking her from her daze.

"Uh sure, yeah. Let me get you a towel while you get in." She says getting up going to the hall closet.

I let the hot water sooth my muscles. It's been a while since I've had to sprint for that long.

I hear a knock and tell her to come in.

"Thanks, Max. God I love your body wash, I need to get me some." I laugh.

No response. I'm running out of things to say to her. I'm not sure what else to do.

"Thanks for the towel, Max."

"You're welcome." I hear her say quietly.

"I know you're scared right now, babe. But do you wanna know what we were talking about before we saw him?"

"What?" I hear her sniffle.

"We'll let's just say you'll be seeing a lot more of me." I smile and wait for her response.

"Wait, you guys are back together?"

"Yep! We made up. It was so romantic, we were both on the ground crying and hugging. Your auntie is truly the biggest softie I know." I laugh and finally hear Max's raspy laugh.

"Yeah she is. She'd die before she'd admit it."

There's a long pause before she speaks. I turn the water off and she hands me the towel.

"I'm really trying to believe it's not my fault, Kate. I really am."

I step out and take her in my arms.

"I know you are, babe. It's the truth. This is all on him. All we can do now is help Yelena in every way possible even though she will reject everything we try and do to help her." I say stroking her hair.

"Thank you, Kate. For everything. I'm glad you guys are back together. I missed having my sister." She mumbles into my damp chest, making me smile.

"I love you. Now let me choose a sweatshirt, I'm getting cold."

Wanda POV

"Okay last stitch." I tell Lena.

"Thank you, Wands. This didn't even hurt."

"You're welcome. Thank you for protecting our daughter. I'm glad she has you." I say bandaging up her wound.

"It took everything in me to not kill him. I didn't even care who would see." She says pulling her shirt down and sitting up.

"We'll get him." Nat says.

"I noticed you and Kate tonight. Well more like heard her thoughts." I say taking my gloves off and smiling.

"We're back together. We had just made up and Jay bumped into me on purpose. Called us dykes. He also seems to think Max is gay. Do you know anything about that or is he just crazy?" She replies as Nat hands her some water and a cookie.

"No we don't know anything about that. What was he waiting for? For Max to come out of the house What was his plan?" I ask looking at Nat who shares the same question.

"He's a real idiot. He deserves the worst." She says as we hear Kate and Max come back down the stairs.

I get up and take Max into my body, kissing her head and rubbing her back. She seems a little less tense but I can still sense it in her. It's going to take some time for her to emotionally recover. She looks up at me and smiles.

She makes her way over to Yelena and hugs her and starts crying.

"Thank you for chasing him and protecting me. I'm so sorry he hurt you." Max says into Yelena's chest.

"Hey, I'm okay baby. I promise. Your mama is a magician. Literally." She says kissing Max's forehead.

"I am always gonna protect you, Max. I love you so much." Lena finishes.

I turn to Kate who is admiring them. I take her into my arms and thank her.

"I'm glad you're back. We've missed you so much. Our family wasn't complete without you." I say making her smile and tear up.

"I've missed you guys so much too. Thank you for patching her up."

We pull apart and all sit on the couch, waiting for the sun to rise. Everyone but me and Max are asleep.

She leans into me and sighs softly. I stroke her hair and her lower back with my fingers as I feel her try to relax.

We hear a text alert notification on my phone.

Fury: We got him. He's going away for good.

I show Max the text and finally feel her relax in my hold.

As the sun rises, the light hits her face, brightening her beautiful features. I smile as I kiss her forehead as she continues to snore softly.

I look around and bask in this feeling. My family, all together in the same room, in one piece. We are going to be okay.

#wandanat x daughter #wanda x teen reader #natasha x daughter!reader #nat x daughter #wanda x daughter

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nataliealynlind · 6 months

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queen america sentence starters

episode 6: juvenile diabetes

"i just need to brush my teeth"

"are you taking care of yourself?"

"now will you please give me some privacy?"

"don't pretend i haven't seen everything"

"most women your age would kill for that body"

"she is pretty impressive"

"oh please like you haven't heard this story before"

"judges will love this shit"

"you're really pretty"

"but that will never happen- your time is far too valuable"

"it's just the right amount of sick"

"it's still our job to know"

"did you ever have any minor to terrible illnesses as a child?"

"on the bright side- i don't think things could get much worse than they already are"

"her boyfriend was the one driving the car"

"i'm just glad this place is finally re-opened"

"they wouldn't even let someone like me near the entrance"

"don't talk about yourself like that"

"you are so beautiful"

"do you know what the sexiest thing a woman can have is? confidence"

"name's just being real dumb"

"she invented problems cause she was bored"

"you think i wanna drive two hours away to get dinner?"

"that's sweet, but i know what you're doing"

"don't suggest things and act like i asked for them"

"oh my god am i dying?"

"there's absolutely nothing wrong with you- at least not medically"

"that girl has a real voice on her"

"of course miss oklahoma's not allowed to date that would be ridiculous"

"do you know how old she is?"

"i didn't even know there were places like this here"

"i have as much right to be here as you do"

"they're not mad that you're here they're mad at that blouse"

"it was really nice of you guys to ask me to hang out tonight"

"oh honey- this is a work night"

tonight we're bringing some karaoke realness"

"stop talking- for your own good"

"know that i believe in you. and that i think you can do this with a lot of alcohol"

"i am not singing in front of all of these people"

"honey, look around- you're safe"

"oh you would not have wanted to be near me- really"

"hey, just come over- we'd just have to keep the noise down"

"you have to have the confidence of a frat boy on trial"

"just keep drinking honey"

"something tells me that she's not really your type"

"can i buy you a drink sometime? like- right now?"

"i'm sorry but i do live here"

"i figured you'd be out"

"the last part i believe"

"i know make out hair when i see it"

"are you wearing lipgloss?"

"not just any guy- he's really nice- i sorta think he's my boyfriend"

"he's really nice to me"

"of course he likes you- he'd be a little moron not to"

"would you mind not telling my mom?"

"can we please just keep this between you and i?"

"men love to say that"

"nobody's confident- they're all faking it. just some people are better at it than others"

"honey i had to do a lot of things"

"this is fun! i feel like we're becoming really good friends"

#rp sentence starters #sentence starter meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #rp meme #rp sentence meme #queen america sentence starters #pageant rp #**

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randompersonunderyourbed · 7 months

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little bit of a rant

Warning: this rant has strong language, if that makes you uncomfortable.

I just remembered my mom judges me for what I wear, with how much my skin is showing, especially in school. First and FOREMOST, I already have felt bad about my body my entire life without the help of my no-good mom. I’ve always felt insecure about showing my midriff because of me looking fat (no shame in being fat ofc, I just hated myself for being as such.) also wearing tight clothes for the same reason, shorts both because of body hair and how big my legs are, short sleeve’s because of my arm hair, etc., without my mothers help. Feeling confident and comfortable and showing my body in these ways is an accomplishment that I’m so proud of myself for. Then came my mom. She manipulated me into thinking that I was basically naked in that type of clothing. I could just be wearing something that show my belly button for god sakes, and she’d act like I was going to be in a murder documentary the next day. Then, she would also say “oh! The boys will be distracted from class!”, like, no! They won’t! I fucking hate when other women who not only blame random ass kids for being distracted, blame the GIRLS for actual creeps to be distracted instead of teaching men not to be as such. Not only that, but judging a grown ass woman for wearing what she wants is disgusting, but a fucking teen/child?! Your child?! For wearing what they want?! Fucking gross.

Me and mom used to go to thrift shops to buy clothes for me, which was fun, but I used to go to random tank/tube tops, point to them, and say, “that’s not a top, that’s a bra.” And I deeply apologize to all women who wear those things and get judged for feeling confident and happy with themselves. My mother encouraged that behavior, and I realize, maybe she is a bad mother. A lot of boys that I talk to, either on the phone or even just guy friends, are just chill. Every time I mention a guy friend of mine, I get judged or they hint on me liking them, which I don’t usually. My mother is way too protective of me when it comes to clothes and boys. And I fucking hate it, but if I said that to her face, I’d get likely beat or grounded. I just want to feel secure with my mother, and with myself.

She was a huge fucking drunk in the past, no shame to those who changed, I’m proud of those folks, but when I was in elementary school, I had to deal with my mother passing out, yelling at me, and acting horribly to me on a daily basis, with or without alcohol. But a couple months ago, she was mad at my stepdad, she got drunk as fuck, and fucking slapped the absolute shit outta him. Now I’m not allowed to see her right now because I was a minor witnessing their mother assault her stepfather. I’m extremely afraid of meeting her again, and touching her is out of the question. nobody should ever be afraid of their mother, in a way that children are afraid of their mother hurting them or yelling at them like I am afraid of my mother for. Every mother should be a loving good person and role model in their child’s life, not at all straying from that circumstance. And mom, if you ever see this, just know, being drunk is not an excuse. Being tired is not an excuse. Being sick, being mad, losing your temper, being sad, anything is not an excuse for how you fucking treat me. Don’t judge my body. Don’t judge my feelings. I could be out, underage drinking, smoking, doing dr*gs even, and you complain about my interests being non productive. I am not out having sex, so why do you even care about my love life? I am not your object. I am not your property just because chose to have me. Treating me like that just because you chose to raise me, it’s tiring dealing with your bullshit and the next time you drink that much, threaten me, or get violent, I will call the cops. I am not stupid. I am a human fucking being. Respect that. And if you don’t, I’ll just leave and live with dad. I don’t fucking care anymore.

#rant post #personal rant #tw mentions of drugs #tw mentions of violence #tw mentions of alcohol

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freedomwrites · 4 months

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The future is bright ‘c, I can’t get mad at what they tried. I’ve been attempting to propel the future as far as it can go. I’m still I love and I’m still in love with the girl named Jessica. It’s crazy, she was the call and the Val val but only I know why. Word to Disney and Channing no Tatum. I never wanted her to be hurt. Crazy part is she made life easier and never want her to get hurt. She was probably fine but I hope my ma dukes my mom the woman who raised me even if she moved always stays safe

I believe in her even they try and seperate her from her sanity. She was the psychic maybe it wasn’t that, she was psyche something to do with her mental and what she was the thug and thing to held and hold us together. Greek and pain and demonic shit. E shit ain’t bad but what kinda E shit. Sad part, I miss her I do. I miss her as well. I miss a lot of my family and I’m glad I asked her to make her family again. I love that women, an I didn’t change. It ain’t her fault she didn’t respond supposedly her phone is attached to an iPad an Js. I’m not mad I really ain’t. I wish she’d give me another chance man an I never wanted to hurt him. It’s not even the fact they heard or I thought, I figured it out to some extent. I wonder if she’d give me a chance again Im even sure I figured out exactly how some of this shit is gonna go. As I’m typing this out I feel someone burning there self. Or cutting or painting. I don’t know if their pain ain’t worth a painting, I wish they knew their scars too were beautiful. I love you and sorry I keep talking shit out. It’s a store front type vibe

I found out so much shit that’ll make your head spin. Ironic. This ain’t courage the cowardly dog and I get why I’m not the one who scared courage. Just know I appreciate you. An my grandma. I heard someone say remember why you wear those earrings, even I’ve said it a couple of times. I understood some things I swear you gotta see my writings.

#before I try and make some money.

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klinefelterrible · 5 months

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When I was a boy I had two favourite Disney movies on VHS and they were Robin Hood and the Beauty and the Beast. My mom used to call me a beast because she thought it would be nice to somehow make it relatable to me, I know parents do that all the time. I had a cousin who loved Barney Rubble so much he managed to wear that one T-shirt all the time and if his parents wanted him to wear literally anything else, he cried so hard he ripped his hair out. But anyway, my two favourite movies back then were this:

And this:

And even though I knew it was proper for me to be more like those guys (I had "Jungle book" too)

I couldn't help but feel that on the very inside I am (although back then there was no concept of transgender or gender and I was a very rational person and smart and I didn't like nonsense and saw through lies instantly), I should be and want to be more like them:

I mean fucking seriously how can one show a sensitive male child this story and expect him to fucking put themself into a fucking frame of Beast Who Was A Shit Person And Needed A Redemption when all he was feeling like A Young Cute Weirdo Who Liked To Read And Was Somehow Detained By This Asshole Monster Forever

And to this day I have this feeling like what the fuck why and for what were you fucking making me be this tough person when at the same time not fucking noticing I was hiding inside this fucking shell of big smoking drinking cursing distrusting person

I feel resentment for my childhood because of so many reasons I can't even start talking about it, everyone wanted to shape me into their fucking imagination that didn't fit me at all and sometimes all I want is to live in some Neverland where there are no bad people who fucking judge you and tell you how you should live your life without actually helping to actually subordinate. Like it was them only telling me what should I be and not how should I do this in order to fucking make them happy and those expectations were so surreal I can't believe it actually happened and I didn't go mad.

Anyway now I'm 36, I have a collection of high heels I never could buy because I was always somehow controlled by if not my mum with whom I live in a flat then by the cleaning lady my mother hired for "taking care" of me but it wasn't care, more like low profile control over me, she went through all my wardrobe and my shit, cleaning everything and changing places of my stuff so even though I had money I had no place to just be alone and store my heels and I knew the cleaning lady was talking about people with other people because she told me about others and how should I get any privacy in a flat where everyone fucking hears everything and my mom fucking entered my room anytime she wanted anf if I went on a short two step walk in my room, she'd hear it or the neighbours would and those people were nasty as fuck and all of them drunks so I didn't want any trouble or gossip, also my mom was a abstinent and since she recovered from drinking she had absolutely no idea how to take care of herself, her teeth were ruined for the better part of my life so she practically never smiled, her clothes were so off fashion it was fucking sad to see her on an official party or any type of family gathering and boy her shoes were a fucking disgrace. I never had a proper female model to look up to with my inner woman so I became a slob like she was and I don't blame her for being a workaholic as her mother was exactly the same. But there was I, with these things I'd like to do or be but everyone was looking at me, everyone watched me like a hawk (my family was and still sort of is sort of famous in my hometown) so I didn't feel safe to he myself for the bigger part of my life as it was never comfortable for me to just be me, and I have this feeling like since I have this dissonance of self, the one where I do look and feel like a man —a manly sort of man, tall with a beard, with all these erections and shit, especially after I was diagnosed with Klinefelter's and on testosterone injections therapy, basically making me this beast of a man now— and a girl —that was never able to be herself in fully, always hiding, always somehow bullied into being an inner part, always put into a box and into a box and a box inside a box, unable to become anything serious (because how exactly? when you're 1.90m and weight over 100kg you're not going to be a cute 1.60/50 girl, not now not ever) — and a third person, like a compromise between a man and a woman, a man with a woman inside, refusing to be a woman because of not willing to be a trans weirdo (as I saw myself in correlation back then and still sort of imagine myself like on and can't help it) with people suddenly made all these questions like why how and saying shit like you never were a girl or we never knew that shit and I just want to be spared of it, so I am now this testosterone dripping, horny all the time big guy who only wishes these things from my head to be over, I mean all those BE THIS and DO THAT and THAT GUY LIKES WHIPS HE'S CRAZY HIS STEPFATHER SAID HE'LL KICK HIM OUT and FAGGOTS ARE TO DIE and stuff like that and people still sort of are this way, not much because I live on my own now with my wife and that but all this shit still haunts me as i can't just stop remembering it and feeling that way and when people say "MAN UP" I ask myself how am I supposed to man up if I don't have any men to look up to, what am I supposed to do when I have no way to learn anything from those men i do know because they don't and won't have time for me plus I was in my hormones buzzing moment so all I wanted from anyone who wasn't related to me was a possible fuck so if there was a willing third party I would probably destroy every relationship between us with my drunken dicksucking advances or whatever.

So I didn't man up and didn't find a proper way of life because I was expected to go to the university and all I ever knew was some english and history and felt no interest in anything else and when I wanted to go to vocational school, they would fucking eat me alive: both my family, mother, grandmother (who hated each other in that particular passive-aggressive way and still do) and all those mean kids from vocational schools as there was a saying back then that if you want your kid to dig ditches, send him to vocational school, where people start a day with fighting, drugs and fucking 'you name it from some hell depiction'-thing. So I went to high school as expected, and then to university, as expected too. Of course my mom and grandma expected me to go to some other school, but I didn't want to so I didn't. They were disappointed. Then I chose the university they wouldn't choose for me and the major that also asked a lot of questions but I was somehow free and ready to become an alcoholic (whom I didn't because as I said before, I was a rational kid) but I felt their breath on my neck. BE THIS, DO THAT, YOUR COUSIN IS IN THE CAPITAL AND IS THE BEST, AS HE ALWAYS WAS, THAT DAUGHTER OF YOUR FATHER'S SECOND WIFE IS IN A COLLEGE LEARNING ENGLISH AND WENT TO AUSTRALIA WITH HER UNCLES AND WHAT ARE YOU NOW WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

So I live my life not meeting expectations as they were too high for me, I couldn't focus really and they didn't actually force me because I think they didn't care or feel like actually making me do stuff but they talked and talked and made me angry inside so much I still am angry at myself for not being as good as I could be and that makes me sad because I could have been relatively happy, living on my own, working somewhere and doing something if only my grandpas didn't die so early or there was a way for me to be not noticeable or recognizable everywhere and why the fuck all of this had to happen I am sick of it, of my life how it went and yeah there were nice moments but all of them were in this tar-like grief, this greyness of people's looking at me and fucking telling me how my father was like and what my mom a superstar she is and it all told me that I am nothing and I lived in a pause like I felt they're watching me every step i took and since my family had some money people were taking advantage of me and I understand the Jungle Law and the hate towards the rich from those poorer or not advantageous ones, especially on a big block of flat neighbourhood, yeah, so it was not a good place for me to develop my inner woman and making her my outer person because I would probably end badly with my throat cut or raped or whatever. And yeah it was always a fear of mine that I would be robbed or beaten or fucking threw into basement and shit on by some nasty people and all I ever felt was the fear of what would my mother do and will she fucking go back to drinking again and how will she always fucking never ever leave me alone, always being somewhere near I WOULD RATHER FUCKING DIE AND I MEAN IT

but yes, this is my rant and yes sometimes I just wish it all to be over all of the sudden, a meteorite bullseye's me in the head, 1/10000000000 situation and what you can do. My wife would end up with all my stuff, my money and my mess but she'd be alright, so would be my mom hopefully but you never know about her, but anyway not many people would remember me a year or two later. So fuck them.

I remember there were times that all I wanted to do was mention my mom's need to go to the dentist and she stopped talking to me for days. My grandma used to call me twice a day, relentlessly, neverending talks about people being satisfied with their life and successful and me hearing this everyday, plus of course HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE CHURCH and all that and... I don't feel like writing it anymore today

It needs to be mentioned that I hate myself almost everyday but rarely the current day, I mostly regret being alive the day before or some other day from my past and I really do hate me from the past, including me from last week or month.

#personal rant #childhood stuff #this is how you live your life feeling as a loser #it started as a disney post but the I felt like sharing

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lotuslol · 5 months

Text

I'm ALIIIVEE!

aaaaaand II woke up a GOOD bit more from dpdr :D

Well, I contemplated death as a peaceful resolution to my misery buuuut called God and now I want to live again >:1

I AM going to seek professional help (I have been, but she has been less than efficient but I know no one better than her, mental healthcare in my country is hard to come by and at least she gives me a sympathetic ear to listen to me. Making appointments with her has been difficult all year around and my dpdr brain is never consistent on the type of problem I suffer from on a daily basis so it's a confusing journey)

My thoughts: dpdr is shiet

The devil is a bitch, and I can't believe people think this gaslighting abusive bitch is a source of inspiration for any kind of art!!

I prefer eating yogurt (I hate yogurt) than saying that dpdr taught me any useful shit!! I only learned one thing...that I am awesome!

And I doubt that many challenges that will face me would be that difficult because living with dpdr is like raising difficulty level of life to "literal hell nightmare" and healing is returning back to "normal" but normal is like "EASY!" NOW because I have been disabled from most of my mental living abilities gradually improving for 8 months (going to be 9...), now I am like 97% or 98% back,, ON TOP OF THIS during my ILLNESS I was accompanied the the intrusive thoughts if the devil himself

And in dpdr, intrusive thoughts disturb your reality like you are on drugs (I never tried drugs before, but I know you see mad shit on them) but worse because at least the effect of drugs wears off but you live in this madness 24/7 and you can't sleep or sleep it off.

So I was disabled and beaten to a pulp by the devil himself mercilessly unless I called God for dear life, for 8 months!!!

Not an experience of a lifetime :')

I barely got to be 23 yall, I didn't get to feel like I am...anything, let alone 23

I was going to lose one of my mates by cutting ties with them

I was going to lose a friend...

I lost a pal

I felt like a helpless baby many times, but I knew I am 23

I felt like a broken mess, like I regressed to a helpless baby...but in thr body and issues of a 23 year old lady

Sometimes I didn't know if I were a woman or not, but I never thought I was a man

I looked at my face and barely recognized it

my past sexual addictions jumped to be on steroids because I was so out of my body I got physically aroused by anything

I was in mental and physical pain for a long time, and when I healed in a miracle I didn't get to...be glad about it because I felt sucky all over :(

I blurted out SECRETS to my family I regret saying because dpdr made me feel like I forgot who I was and I panicked and tried to hold on thr sanity of identity by ANY THREAD!!

I regret ever telling my mom about my past OCD, or my ex-friend, I wish I didn't tell them...

Now I wish I had someone to talk to

But all during the illess, I wished someone would hold my hand and be by my side..but someone I can feel safe sharing my worst version with

But I didn't find them because of THEIR life circumstances and I ended up being in pain alone and doing my best to get by (which was a heraclian effort and being beaten like a mule by my intrisuve thoughts demon to "stand up and stop being lazy")

My parents were never abusive!!

But they have no idea how to help me with mental illness so telling them anything is...awkward.

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all-hail-the-witcher · 3 years

Text

say yes to the plus one

the sequel to say yes to the drinks. which you should read first. i am so tired. just have it.

ship: geraskier

warnings: none

editing: ish

words: over 3k but under 4k

genre: floof

After getting drinks with Geralt, Jaskier could not stop thinking about him. He found himself taking more time with his appearance each morning - something that he hadn't even thought would be possible - hoping that Geralt would come into the store.

But Geralt still hadn’t come into Kleinfelds since the day of his trunk show. Jaskier tried not to be disappointed. He knew that he was very busy and it had been a one off that he had even met him in the first place.

Still, he couldn’t help but think that the two of them had something. There must have been some sort of chemistry between the two of them. Why else had Geralt asked him to get drinks after he had made that awful slip up with the magic fingers? Surely, he must feel something for him.

He had been texting Jaskier though, so Jaskier knew that he was at least still interested. Every message that he got wishing him a good morning or about some funny wedding dress design or of a picture of Geralt’s Pomeranian, Roach, made his heart flutter. There just had to be a future for them, right?

So, Jaskier went through yet another day of busy appointments at Kleinfelds, hoping that he would run into Geralt.

Late May into early June was always a busy time for them. Jaskier didn't personally understand the appeal of getting married in a zillion degree heat, but to each their own. This was by far his least favorite part of the year though. He spent every hour at work on his feet, hardly getting a break as he rushed from appointment to appointment: checking on alterations, making sure that every bride was getting their dream dress, and providing tweaks to designs when necessary to prevent bridal meltdowns.

It was nothing short of exhausting.

“Jaskier!” Camille, one of the consultants, called to him at around mid afternoon.

He had just spent the last hour trying to get a very adamant, very conservative mom and a very eccentric bride on the same page. He needed a daiquiri. Or three. Still, he turned around and put on his brightest smile.

“Yes, darling?”

“You’re needed down in alterations,” she said with a sweet smile.

Jaskier nodded and turned back through the salon to walk down to alterations. He hated going to alterations. If he was needed there, it usually meant that shit had hit the fan in some sense. He braced himself for a long afternoon.

He walked up to the manager, about to ask her where he was needed, when a shout from behind him made him jump.

“Jaskier!”

And a swell of desire rose up in Jaskier’s stomach because he knew that gravelly voice. Quickly, he straightened his tie, thankful he had worn his good pink one today, before taking a deep breath and turning around.

“Geralt!” he said, trying furiously to keep his cheeks from flushing. “What a lovely surprise.”

“Surprise?” Geralt’s brows furrowed together as he walked up to Jaskier, his wolfs head cane clicking across the floor. He was wearing a light blue button down today with the sleeves cuffed to his forearms that made his golden eyes pop and Jaskier had to struggle to keep his eyes on his face. “I texted you this morning.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened as he reached into his blazer pocket for his phone. Sure enough, there were two messages from Geralt. The first was a picture of Roach, lying in a patch of sun in his apartment. The second was a message that read:

Hey, I’m going to be at Kleinfelds today doing a custom fitting. Can you help with the appointment?

And Jaskier had never even seen it. Much less responded.

“Oh Geralt, I am so terribly sorry,” Jaskier said quickly. “This is our busiest time of year and I have hardly had a moment to think today.”

“You don’t have to help,” Geralt said sincerely, concern clouding his eyes. “I don’t want to push you too hard with the rest of your appointments, but I just figured that since I was here, I would ask.”

“No, no darling!” Jaskier said, rushing to reassure him. “Of course I will help! Helping you is much better than dealing with emotional brides and entourages that aren’t on the same page.”

“It’s alright Jaskier,” Geralt said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I know you just want to see my magic hands at work again.”

This time, Jaskier did flush bright red. “ You! ” he said outrageously, gaping at Geralt’s audacity to bring up his slip up from last time. “You need a nap!”

But Geralt just laughed, a glorious sound that sent shivers down Jaskier’s spine. “I think you’re the one who needs the nap, Jaskier.”

Jaskier shot him an incredulous look. How dare he make such assumptions, and how dare he be right?

“Anyway, the fitting is for my brother’s fiancee,” Geralt explained. “I made her a custom dress and she’s coming in for her fitting today. There was a shipping delay, so we only have time for one fitting before their wedding next week. I was hoping you could help.”

Jaskier could see the tension that had creeped its way into Geralt’s broad shoulders and the worry that was clouding his pretty face.

Jaskier placed a reassuring hand on Geralt’s arm. “Of course I’ll help, darling. Helping resolve wedding dress disasters is my specialty. Er- not that your dress is a disaster,” he said quickly, amused by the way that Geralt’s eyebrows had shot up. “Nothing that you design could ever be a disaster, the way that you work lace and beads is just divine, not a disaster. Not in any way a disaster. What I meant was the fact that she only has one fitting, that’s the disaster. Not your dress.”

“My magic fingers are quite incapable of creating a disaster dress, you’re right,” Geralt winked.

Jaskier resisted the urge to smack his shoulder. “You are never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Nope.” Geralt looked far too pleased with himself. “Can you grab the dress for me? It’s on the rack for the day. And can you bring it to room 13?”

“Of course,” Jaskier said. He’d let the magic fingers comment slide for now. Geralt looked far too attractive with his moonlight silver hair in an artful bun, tendrils framing his face, for him to stay mad at him for long. He had never been able to resist a pretty face.

“Thank you.” Geralt moved past Jaskier and began to make his way to the room. Jaskier turned to watch him walk down the hall. His ass looked far too delicious in those gorgeous, fitted navy pinstripe pants. He just had to appreciate it. It would be a crime not to.

Distantly, he wondered if his ass looked just as delicious without the pants on. And was he wearing boxers or briefs? Oh who was he kidding, he had to be wearing at least briefs with pants like those. But what color? Geralt seemed like the type of man to appreciate a fun pair of underwear and-

Jaskier. Get your head out of the gutter.

He made a beeline to the rack and grabbed the dress. He had already left Geralt waiting long enough.

“Here you are,” Jaskier said, hanging the dress in the room.

Geralt fidgeted with his shirt sleeves, eyeing the bag. With a pang, Jaskier realized that he was nervous.

“I’m sure she’s going to love the dress,” Jaskier said, putting as much sincerity as he could into his words. “You are one of the best designers in the industry, Geralt.”

“I know,” Geralt said. “But I’ve never designed for someone that I know before, there’s more risk involved if they don't like it. Cause she’s put all her trust in me and what if she doesn’t like it? This is her only fitting. There isn't time to make anything else."

“Geralt,” Jaskier placed his hand over Geralt’s where he was still fidgeting with his sleeve. “She’s going to love it. Don’t doubt yourself so much, it ruins your pretty face.”

Fuck, did he just really say that out loud?

Geralt’s doubt dissipated as he looked at Jaskier amusedly. “You think my face is pretty?”

“Well who wouldn’t?” Jaskier said, trying and failing to backpedal. “It’s a plenty beautiful face, I mean you’ve got a nose and eyes and everything and…”

“I would hope I have a nose and eyes, yes,” Geralt laughed. Then, he leaned in, as if telling Jaskier a secret. “I’ve also heard that I have lips, too.”

Jaskier was saved the embarrassment of having to respond by a consultant escorting who Jaskier assumed to be Geralt’s brother’s fiancee and her entourage into the alterations area.

“Geralt!” a pretty girl with dark, curly hair said as she stepped up to hug him.

“Hi Triss,” Geralt said, giving her a polite hug and waving to the rest of the entourage. “Are you excited?”

“Of course I’m excited,” she said. “It’s only a week away, Geralt. This better be every bit as perfect as you said it would be.”

“It will be.” Geralt’s smile was easy, as if he hadn’t been freaking out about the appointment moments before.

“And who is this?” Triss asked, turning to Jaskier.

“Oh, everyone, this is Jaskier. He’s a consultant here and my friend,” Geralt said.

“Hello!” Jaskier said, giving everyone a wave.

“Jaskier, this is Triss, the bride to be. She’s marrying my brother.” Geralt gestured to the woman with the dark hair standing in front of them.

“Hello darling,” Jaskier said, shaking her hand. “You look just gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” Triss smiled.

“And this is Triss’s friend Yennefer, Yennefer’s daughter Ciri, my other brother Lambert, and Lambert’s husband Aiden,” Geralt said, pointing at the people sitting on the bench.

Jaskier waved to them all and gave them his best customer service smile.

“Tell me about your fiancee, darling,” Jaskier said to Triss.

“I am getting married to Eskel,” she said, her face lighting up immediately. “We’ve known each other forever and he is perfect.”

“Forever is an understatement,” Geralt said. “They went to kindergarten together.”

“Oh, a childhood love story!” Jaskier clapped his hands together. “How romantic! Let’s hope you have a dress to match.” He turned to Geralt.

“Well darling,” Jaskier said, gesturing to the garment bag that Triss’s dress was in. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Geralt stepped up to the garment bag, his shoulder taught with anxiety.

“Take a breath, Geralt,” Jaskier whispered, just quiet enough for only Geralt to hear. “She’s going to love it.”

Geralt nodded once before unzipping the bag and pulling out the dress. Jaskier couldn't help but gasp.

“Oh my god, it’s gorgeous,” Triss gasped next to him, taking Jaskier’s words right out of his mouth. “Geralt, you’ve outdone yourself.”

“You haven’t even put it on yet,” Geralt said, stepping away so that the entourage could see it as well.

“I don’t have to to know that it’s everything I wanted and probably more,” she said, giving Geralt another hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Geralt said and Jaskier thought that he saw a light blush tinting his cheeks. Was Geralt embarrassed? Oh that was just adorable…

The dress itself was gorgeous, just as Jaskier suspected it would be. It was a glorious ivory color that seemed to shift under the lights to be a gorgeous pale blush pink. The skirt appeared to be A line and was sleeveless with a high neck. The bodice had an intricate lace and beading design that blended into the skirt. Jaskier knew that the dress was going to be amazing but Triss was right, Geralt had really outdone himself.

“Would you like to put it on, darling?” Jaskier asked.

Triss nodded, still not tearing her eyes from the dress as Geralt stepped out of the dressing room and Jaskier closed the curtains behind him.

He helped Triss into the dress, zipping up the back effortlessly.

“Oh it fits you like a glove darling,” he remarked. “Almost like it was made for you. Oh wait-” he smiled at her. “It was, wasn’t it?”

Triss laughed at his terrible joke - bless her - as she fingered the lace and beads on the front. “I wasn’t expecting it to look this beautiful,” she whispered.

“Well then let's spin you round, darling,” Jaskier said, taking her hand as she turned to face the mirror. “That’ll really shock you.”

“Oh my god.” She clapped her hands over her mouth as she gaped at herself in the mirror, turning from side to side to look at herself better. “Oh my god .”

“Isn’t it wonderful?” Jaskier smiled at her. “Geralt is far more talented than he gives himself credit for.”

“Tell me about it,” Triss said distractedly as she continued to stare at the dress. “This is absolutely gorgeous. I love it. Eskel’s going to love it. Everyone’s going to love it.”

“Stop feeding pretty boy’s ego and show us then!” someone shouted from the other side of the curtain.

“Fuck off, Lambert!” Triss called back. “I’m having my bridal moment,” she whispered, tears springing up in her eyes as she continued to stare, utterly transfixed by the dress.

“Here, darling,” Jaskier said, pulling his pink pocket square out of his breast pocket. “You don't want to get your mascara on the dress now, do you?”

Triss dabbed at her eyes and took a deep breath before handing the handkerchief back to Jaskier.

“Are you ready to show your entourage?”

“She better be!” Lambert shouted from outside again.

Triss let out a watery laugh. “Yeah, I am.”

Jaskier drew back the curtain as Triss turned around.

“Oh, Triss,” Yennefer said, tears unmistakably clouding her eyes. “You look gorgeous.”

“Holy fuck, Geralt,” Aiden muttered as he stared at the dress, his jaw dropped. “ You designed that ?”

“Hey!” Lambert elbowed him. “I already said that pretty boy doesn’t need his ego inflated any more than it is!”

“Okay but fucking look at the dress, Lambert. It’s fucking gorgeous. And I’m half fucking blind. ”

Lambert shrugged. “Yeah I mean it’s nice. It’s a dress. It’s fabric. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Say she looks beautiful!” Aiden nearly shouted, smacking Lambert’s shoulder. “And that Geralt did a great job because if you don't I swear your ass-”

“Boys.” Triss crossed her arms. “There are children present.”

“I’m nineteen!” Ciri protested, throwing her hands up.

Triss ignored her. “There are children present and this is my fitting. So Lambert, shut up and tell your brother he did a good job.”

“You did a good job not fucking it up, Ger,” Lambert muttered.

“I’ll take it. And Aiden? You can finish that sentence later,” she said with a pointed look.

She turned to Jaskier, who had been watching the entire exchange with raised eyebrows. “Sorry about them, they are always like this.”

Lambert flipped her off. Aiden threw up a peace sign.

“Well,” Jaskier said, trying to contain his laughter. “Clearly they are meant for eachother.” He was just glad that he hadn’t had to diffuse the situation. He was tired of telling entourages to get along.

“It’s a good thing they got married then,” Geralt said, standing slowly and walking over to Triss. “You like the dress then?”

Triss once again read Jaskier’s mind and playfully punched Geralt’s shoulder. “I fucking love it . I was right, it is everything I wanted and more. Thank you.” Her eyes were shining with tears again and this time, it was painfully obvious that Geralt blushed when he looked down at his shoes.

“Of course, it was my pleasure,” Geralt said, squeezing her arm. “I’m glad you and Eskel are finally tying the knot, I couldn't imagine a more perfect match for him than you.”

“Geralt,” Triss sighed, the tears pooling in her eyes spilling over again. “You didn't need to make me cry more! The dress was enough!”

Geralt just laughed. Jaskier silently passed Triss his pocket square again.

“Is there anything big that you want to change or do I just need to adjust the fit?” Geralt asked.

“Just the fit,” Triss said, dabbing at her eyes again.

Geralt nodded and set to work, silently slipping into the zone, pinning and adjusting and occasionally stepping back and squinting at his work. Jaskier knew that Triss and her entourage were talking, but he didn't even pretend to be paying attention. He was much more content to watch Geralt work, his fingers gliding effortlessly over the fabric as he made the already gorgeous gown look somehow even more phenomenal.

“Alright,” Geralt said, stepping back. “I think that that should be good, spin round for me.”

Triss turned to look in the mirror.

“Does it look okay?” Geralt asked and Triss punched his shoulder again. “Ow!”

“Geralt if you don't stop insulting your frankly quite stunning work, I will have to steal your little demon dog,” she said, looking over the dress in the mirror. “But yes, everything looks good.”

“Roach isn’t a demon,” Geralt pouted, and oh fuck wasn’t that adoreable.

“That fucking dog almost bit my hand off!” Lambert shouted from the bench.

Geralt made several rude gestures at him and Jaskier nearly swooned. Fucking hell he was gone for this man. And it was only the second time that he had seen him.

“Jaskier, can you get her out of the dress?” Geralt asked. “Be careful with all the pins.”

Jaskier nodded, very much at a loss for words.

“C’mon darling,” Jaskier said, tugging the curtain closed behind Geralt again.

He undid the zipper on the back of Triss’s dress and helped tug the dress off her shoulders, mindful of the many pins that Geralt had put in it.

“Have you and Geralt known each other long?” Triss asked.

“Oh, no not at all,” Jaskier said, glad that he was standing behind her and couldn't see the flush of his cheeks. “He helped me with an appointment a few months ago and we went out for drinks after and we’ve been texting occasionally, but that’s it.” He didn’t say that he wished it was more.

“You went out for drinks on the day you first met?” Triss asked, letting her voice rise. “That’s interesting, Geralt doesn’t often go out with people that he’s just met.”

There was a shout from the other side of the curtain, but it was muffled almost immediately, the sound of a hand slapping over someone’s mouth unmistakeable.

“Well, it had been a long day and we were both in need of one. Step out for me, darling,” Jaskier said, picking up the dress and hanging it back up.

“I’m sure you were,” Triss said from behind him as he zipped the dress carefully back into the garment bag. Before he had the chance to ask what she meant, she was opening the curtains and walking back outside to her entourage.

Jaskier picked up the garment bag and followed her.

“It was lovely meeting all of you,” he said, waving to the entourage. “Triss, darling, I hope you have a wonderful wedding and Geralt, it was nice seeing you again.” He turned back down the hall to go hang up the dress for Geralt to deal with later. He should get back upstairs, hopefully nothing too dire had happened in the salon during his absence, even if the break had been nice.

He was just turning to go up the stairs when he saw Geralt walking purposefully towards him, his cane clicking quickly against the floor.

“Jaskier!”

“Oh, hi again!” Jaskier said. “I was just going to head back upstairs, we are still very busy.” He gave Geralt an apologetic smile. There was nothing that he would rather do than stand and talk with Geralt.

Geralt winced. “Then I guess you probably shouldn't have helped me with the appointment.”

“No, no!” Jaskier said quickly. “It was my absolute pleasure, Geralt. And honestly? The salon was driving me a bit insane, so it was quite a nice and much needed break.”

“Well thank you for helping,” Geralt smiled. “I think it went well.”

“It definitely did, darling,” Jaskier said. “She loved the dress, just like I told you she would.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and looked down at his feet, placing both hands on top of his cane. “Actually though, I had something to ask you before you get back to work, if that’s okay. I don’t want to keep you.”

“The only thing you’re keeping me from is crying brides and disapproving mothers, and there is only so much of that that my poor soul can take,” Jaskier said. “I’d rather stay here with you and your-” he cut himself off before he made another terrible slip up. He had already learned his lesson from last time.

“With my magic hands? Or my pretty face?” Geralt asked smugly.

Jaskier sighed, ignoring him. “What was it that you wanted to ask me?”

“I have a plus one for Triss’s wedding next week,” Geralt started.

“And you haven’t asked anyone yet?” Jaskier asked. “Geralt, what have you been doing?”

“...Designing dresses?” he said sheepishly.

Jaskier swore his heart melted. He just looked so cute. How on earth was this allowed?

“Well, you better ask someone,” Jaskier said. “You’re running out of time.”

“Yes I know.” Geralt looked at Jaskier and smiled. “Jaskier, what are you doing next Saturday?”

“Saturday?” Well…” Jaskier trailed off, trying to remember what was coming up. “That is technically my day off, but I might still come in because we have just been so busy and we’re getting a new collection in and I’m going to have to….wait….” his eyes widened as he finally processed what Geralt had been asking him. “Are you….are you asking me..?”

“Would you like to be my plus one to Triss’s wedding?” Geralt asked, his golden eyes somehow sparkling in the atrocious fluorescent lighting.

“ Oh ,” Jaskier gasped. “Yes. Yes I would love to.”

“Great,” Geralt said, breathing an audible sigh of relief. “I’ll pick you up at 1pm. It’s formal. Be ready.”

Oh, Jaskier would be ready alright. He walked back to a salon with a huge smile plastered across his face.

may be a ch 2. havent decided.

tag list:

@percy-jackson-is-sexy-

@barlowpng

@eminasan

@llamasdumpsterfire

@nonegenderleftpain

@geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde

@geekymagicalpotato

@jaskierswolf

@toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account

@toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian

@littleredhotridinghood

@fontegagrilledcheese

@acemoppet

@lookatgeraltmyboi

@gods-oopsie-woopsie

@julek

@funkylittlebard

@dani-dandelino

@officerjennie

@kuripon

@alllthequeenshorses

@mothmanismyuncle

@dapandapod

#the witcher #witcher #witcher fic #geralt #jaskier #geraskier #geraskier fic #geralt x jaskier #geraskier fanfic #saph scribbles

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shedobewritingalittle · 4 years

Text

Do Me A Favour (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve Rogers seeks out his ex-teammate (and ex-fiancée) as he tries to gather the team in order to reverse Thanos’s actions, but she isn’t happy to see him. (Part 2, Part 3)

Rating: T

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Swearing, that’s about it

Steve hadn't seen her in almost four years.

Y/N had left him and the rest of the team a year after the Snap. She didn't say goodbye to any of them, just gathered all of her things and disappeared into the night. Steve didn't realize she had left until he had came back to their shared apartment and saw that all of her things were gone. During those four years, she didn't reach out to him and if she was reaching out to anyone else on the team, they weren't telling him. It was like his teammate had disappeared off the face of the earth. He couldn't be too mad at her. Steve was the reason why she left.

Months after the Snap, he had proposed to her. She had been so excited and her happiness had rubbed off of him slightly. It seemed right, it felt right. Everyone kept telling them that it was about time they finally tied the knot. Yet, as time progressed and the severity of a post-Thanos world settled in, Steve wondered if this was actually a good idea. He didn't want to voice his worries to Y/N though. He missed seeing her this happy so Steve tried to tell himself that this nervousness would soon disappear.

Then the day of the wedding rolled around and Steve couldn't bring himself to drive to the church. His phone kept ringing as various members of the team called and texted him, trying to get a hold of him. As the start of wedding neared, Steve went down to the hall where he holds grief counseling and stayed there until the day ended. When he got back to the apartment, all of her things were gone. The only thing Y/N had left behind was her engagement ring and the wedding dress she had been wearing hours earlier.

Steve pulled up in front of the address that Natasha had given him, nervousness and guilt eating away at him. He was already confused when he pulled into the residential neighborhood, but the house he was currently parked in front of didn't help. Steve double checked and triple checked to make sure that the address was correct before he got out. He walked up the little stepping stones that lead to the cookie cutter house. She had told him that she never ever wanted to live in the suburbs, living in a house that was identical to the ones surrounded them. It was the perfect place for her to hide out.

Never in a thousand years did he think that Y/N would be living in a place like this. As he looked around, eyes landing on the carefully manicured lawn and the flowers planted in flower beds surrounding the house, he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. The thought of Y/N being married or even having children made him feel ill. Steve knew that he shouldn't feel like that at all. Y/N wasn't his, never truly ever was his. He was the one that had fucked up everything so he really shouldn't feel like this over the possibly of her being married. Steve looked up at the little cream colored two story house as he walked up the porch steps. There was a swing-like bench on one end, surrounded by various potted plants. It was all very...homey.

Steve tries his best to relax as he stands in front of the door. He swallows hard before ringing the doorbell and knocking on the the red door. Would Y/N still be pissed off at him? Most likely. She wasn't the type to forgive and forget, especially with what he did. Would she be even more pissed when she finds out he's here to try to get her to come back, to try to defeat Thanos? He was probably going back to the Compound in a body bag.

The front door opening ripped him out of his thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asks, only peeking her head of the door. From what he could see of her, she looked good. Y/N always looked good, but the past four years have been good to her. In that last year after the snap, she lost her color. Sure, there would be times where she was happy, but as the wedding date neared and Steve continued to be distant, those moments of happiness were few and far between. Now, she looks happy, healthy. Well, she wasn't happy right now. Steve shifts slightly, looking around in her little neighborhood before looking at back at her. Y/N was glaring at him.

"Can I come in, Y/N? We need to talk." Steve tries and just as she opens her mouth, a child's head squeezes her way through the door and Y/N herself. Y/N's eyes widen and the color seems to drain from her face. Steve feels like he's been shot at the introduction of a child. What if she's moved on, had a family during this time? He would have no one to blame but himself.

"Mama, who's this?" The child asks, practically glaring at Steve. Like mother, like daughter. He didn't know that she had a kid. Natasha didn't tell him that there was a kid involved when she handed him the address, a sad look on the ex-Russian spy's face. Steve knew that she had wanted to go retrieve her friend, but someone had to get Clint. Now, he knew why she was so reluctant to hand over the address. Y/N never even mentioned that she'd ever want kids. She would always brush off the question when Steve would ask, immediately changing the subject. But then again, four years is a long time and people can change. The rest of their team surely did. Y/N muttered a curse under her breath, weighing her options in her mind. Steve is surprised when she opens the door a little more.

"Sarah, this is my coworker, Steve. Steve, this is my daughter Sarah." Y/N introduces them to each other, her hand moving to rest on the back of Sarah's head. The way she says "coworker" made Steve feel like shit, but then again, he does deserve it. He tries his best to ignore it and moves to squat in front of Sarah, smiling at the little girl. Her hair is pulled into two pigtails and she's wearing a black dress covered in white dinosaurs. Sarah is practically a carbon copy of Y/N, down to her hair and features. The only thing that's different about Sarah is her eyes. She has bright blue eyes that seem vaguely familiar, but Steve can't quite place them.

"Hi Sarah. It's nice to meet you." Steve tries, holding out his hand. The little girl moves to hide behind her mother, holding onto Y/N's leg. Steve's smile fades and he puts his hand down, moving to stand back up. Y/N doesn't even bother to look at him as she guides her daughter back into the house.

Steve is greeted by the evidence of her changed life. Children's toys litter the grey colored wood floors and pictures of mother and daughter cover the walls. Not a single picture of his teammate from anytime before the four years she's been gone, but there was pictures of members of the team and her. A picture of Natasha, Y/N, and Sarah here. A picture of Tony, Morgan, Y/N, and Sarah there. No evidence of any sort of father figure. The smell of pancakes and coffee hang in the air. This is a home.

Time travel and Thanos are a million miles from his mind now. All he could think about is that Y/N, the woman he was supposed to marry, has a child.

"No talking business around her. Please." Y/N announces as she walks further into the house, Sarah following hot on her heels. The blonde wonders if someone had tipped her off that someone from the team was coming or maybe she just knew him too well and knew that he wasn't here for personal reasons. Either way, Steve feels the immense tension hanging in between them and gives mother and daughter both a little space as he takes in the house. It looked almost normal.

"Of course." Steve replies as he follows them into the kitchen. Sarah is already sitting at the island, looking at him as her mother sets a plate down in front of her. Steve stands beside the fridge, leaning slightly on the wall. He doesn't know exactly what to do, everything feels awkward. Y/N has a kid. Y/N has a kid.

"Sarah, it isn't polite to stare. Now eat your breakfast." Y/N scolds softly, no anger present in her voice as she speaks to the child. Sarah turns her attention to her mom as she picks up her fork.

"I sorry, Mama. 'teve eat?" The little girl asks and Y/N glances at Steve, who is smiling at how the little girl pronounced his name. His smile melts away as soon as he meets Y/N's eyes Anger is still deeply etched into her face, no matter how much she tries to mask it.

"I'm okay, Sarah. Thank you for asking though." Steve quickly fills in and Sarah nods, seemingly pleased with his answer. Y/N crosses the room, moving past her old teammate to go over to the living room. She turns on the tv, switching the channel from the news to some cartoon. A distraction.

"Baby, Steve and I are going to my office, okay? If you need anything, come get me." Y/N tells her daughter. Sarah just nods in response, her focusing going to the mess of bright colors and shapes on the television. Y/N motions her head for Steve to follow her as she walks out of the room and down the hall. She opens a door, flipping on a light. This is room is a sharp contrast to the rest of the home. It's cold and uninviting. Big, flat white cabinets line the walls, filled with God knows what. Steve wants to smile at her 'home office' because it's like she brought her weapons room from the Compound home with her.

But the look she is giving him keeps the smile off his face. Y/N's about to open her mouth, to question him no doubt, but Steve cannot help what flies out of his mouth. He just has to ask.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a kid, Y/N?" The Captain questions, his eyes softening as he looks at his ex-fiancée. Y/N leans against the table in the center of the room, crossing her arms over her chest. She no longer trying to mask her anger.

"You weren't in my life, Rogers. Why would I tell you that I had a child if we aren't speaking?" Y/N retorts, shrugging her shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. They both know that this is a huge, colossal deal. There's stomach acid in Steve's throat and he feels like he's going to throw up as he forces out his next question. He is dying to know, but he dreads the answer.

"Who-"

"Don't ask me that." Her voice is ice cold as she shakes her head, "Please, don't ask me that."

That's when it slowly starts to dawn on Steve. He swallows the bile down in his throat as he takes a step towards her. Her angry facade is cracking as tears brim her eyelids. Her carefully built world is crumbling down around her and there isn't a thing she could do about it.

"Y/N, how old is she? Just-Just tell me how old she is." Steve's practically begging as Y/N looks away. She's fiddling with the necklace she has on, moving the pendant side to side on the rose colored chain. It feels like an eternity before she decides to speak again.

"Three. Sarah-She's three." Y/N finally speaks, looking back at him. It's like Steve's heart shatters in his chest and he has to lean against the wall for support. Steve Rogers isn't as smart as the others on his team and math has never been his thing, but it doesn't take him long to do the math in his head.

"Were-Were you ever going to tell me?" Steve asks as Y/N chuckles drily. The smile that's on her face doesn't reach her eyes.

"Of course I was and then you left me at the altar. Forgive me for not wanting anything to do with after that." Her tone was full of bitterness as she looks at him, "I was going to tell you that day-God, I was so fucking excited and then you just didn't show up. That's when I realized your priorities were greatly skewed and that you didn't really care about me anymore."

"That-That's not true, Y/N." Steve starts and the woman scoffs.

"Really, Rogers? You weren't even fucking talking to me anymore. You only came to me when you wanted to relieve a little stress. Why you asked me to marry you is besides me." She snaps, her words full of poison, "I wasn't about to bring a kid into the mix."

"So what? You were just going to hide away here forever? Never tell me that I had a kid?" Steve responds, motioning to the door. He's clearly angry at the woman in front of him. Y/N chuckles.

"You know what hurt the most about you leaving me at the altar? You didn't even call. There was no "Hey babe, I realized I don't want to be bound to you by law, hope you understand!". Three fucking hours passed before I finally realized that you weren't coming. By then, Natasha had already hunted you down and saw that you were at one of your meetings, acting like you had nothing else to do that day." Y/N tells him as she runs a hand through her hair, "But sure, go ahead and be mad at me because I didn't tell you I was pregnant. Be mad because I left because you apparently did nothing wrong."

"Look I'm sorry-" A knock on the quickly cut him off. Y/N sent a glare his way before walking past him and opening the door. Steve watched as she squatted so she was at eye level with her-their daughter. Steve looked at Sarah, trying to memorize her face just in case this is the last time he sees her. Blue eyes that resemble his glance at him for a moment before they return to look at Y/N.

"Mama? Help?" Sarah asks, her outstretched hands covered in something sticky. The smile that Y/N gave the little girl made something rise in Steve's chest. Neither of them glance at Steve as Y/N leads her back towards the kitchen, leaving the Star Spangled Man With a Plan alone in the room. He did not know what to do with all of this information. Steve had a child, a daughter. A little girl who was fifty percent him and fifty percent Y/N. He knew he had fucked up, but didn't realize he had fucked up this bad. Steve was numb as he walked out of the pristine room, walking down a hall full of pictures of Y/N and their daughter. He leans against the wall as he watches the two of them.

"How did you get this sticky, baby? I gave you a fork." Y/N teases softly, lifting up Sarah so she can wash her hands in the sink. The little girl giggles and Steve thinks it's the best sound in the whole world.

"I sorry, Mama. 'ticky." Sarah responds, which makes Y/N laugh. Steve can't help but smile at the sight in front of him. His head quickly becomes filled with thoughts of "what if". It's not until he feels something tug on his hand, yanking him out of the various scenarios running through his head. Sarah's tiny hand is wrapped around two of his fingers. His heart swells in his chest and he suddenly understands why Tony was willing to give up everything for Pepper and Morgan. He wishes he had made the same decision.

"Go to park?" Sarah questions, looking up at him with those big blue eyes. Steve is at a loss for words and he looks up at Y/N for some sort of help. Y/N is still drying her hands off as she clears her throat.

"Sarah, I don't think Steve wants to go to the park with us. He has to go back to work." The woman tries, walking towards the two of them. Sarah looks disappointed, pouting and making a noise. Y/N glances at Steve, once more weighing the options in her mind.

"I-I have enough time. I'd love to go to the park with you-If your mom is okay with it." Steve responds and the little girl turns to look at her mom. Y/N's features soften and she nods.

"Tony called before you arrived. Said you're trying to create time travel." Y/N announces as they sit beside each other at the little park that was in her neighborhood. Sarah is running around, laughing loudly. Steve glances at the woman beside him. She knew why he had showed up on her porch but still had let him in. Y/N had every right to not let him in, to not even answer the door. Hell, she didn't have to tell him that Sarah was his, but she did.

"Yeah. Lang is pretty sure we can do it. We just need to get the team back together." Steve replies, to which Y/N just nods. Her eyes stay on Sarah, never letting the little girl out of her sight. Steve turns his head to look at his daughter, who is currently sliding down a slide as he continues, "But I understand if you don't want to. Things have...changed."

"If we have a chance to fix things, I want to be there." Y/N responds, fiddling with the necklace she was wearing. Worry was written all over her face and Steve regrets even coming out here try to get her to join them. Her eyes stay on Sarah as she runs around, "If something happens to me, you have to tell her dressed in the suit."

"W-Why?" He is confused at her request, but he wasn't going to tell her no. Steve doesn't even try to tell her that everything is going to be okay if she joins them. They both know the risks involved with their job and he'd be lying if he told her that this was going to be an easy mission. For the first time since they got to the park-Hell for the first time in four years, she turns to him and smiles.

"Because Sarah knows that her daddy is Captain America and she's been dying to meet him."

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #chris evans x reader #steve rogers

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

Text

COLORS

A/N: No smut, sorry. Written for @princessstevens if she's silk still on tumblr. Based on this picture

"Kellan, call me when you get this," I say hanging up before walking into my building.

He never checks his voicemail so I send him a text too asking him to call me. We go to different schools, he's in the Bachelor's program at Brandman for Business and I'm at Alan Hancock for Art. I know he's probably driving right now or doing something. I remember when I met him, three months ago at Target of all places. I typically don't even shop at Target, I go to Walmart, but I was in there and so was he with his cute ass. I fell in love in the hair section. I was actually stalking him on my way to the body wash, but he was standing in the hair aisle getting conditioner for his thickass curly hair. We were a match made in heaven.

"Hey mama," I greet on my way to the kitchen to cook the pack of chicken sitting out in the sink.

"How was school? Take that trash bag out for me," she says before I can respond.

I look in the trash and change the bag, taking the old one to the chute before washing my hands in the empty side of the sink. The moment I rip open the pack of chicken and start washing it, Kellan calls.

"MAAAA, CAN YOU GET THAT?"

She wanders over fast and answers it having her own conversation with my man as I clean chicken. It sounds like they're talking about how his week has been, his classes, and something that's got ma laughing up a storm behind me. I didn't know Kellan was such a comedian. Something about this seems reversed. I keep waiting but I never get the phone so when I heat the oil and start dredging the chicken, I decide to butt into their conversation and ask.

"Uh, ma, can you put it on speaker so I can talk to him, he called to talk to me!" I start putting the chicken in the hot oil.

"Oh hold on, Kellan, my daughter is here getting her knickers in a twist," she mutters putting the phone on speaker. "I think she wants your attention now all to herself."

Kellan snickers. He and my mama are always teaming up on me like it's funny.

"I know you not laughing," I threaten at the phone, dropping chicken in the pan. "I've been trying to talk to you all day because I missed you but you wanna talk to my mama for-" I look at the time, "Five whole minutes."

"Awww, this baby.. she jealous," Kellan chuckles. "I think she mad you like me more than her."

"Keep acting like you tryna take my Mama from me, nigga. I ain't down with no incestuous shi-stuff," I pause genuinely mad. "You ain't finna be my man and act like my brother, I got a brother. That's nasty."

I don't know why I get mad, but I do. I love my mama. She's mine, not his.. I love Kellan, but he be annoying me for real with that shit because my mama gets too into it like she's not playing. She really does like him more than me. He doesn't understand that and keeps rubbing it in my face.

"You got one more time and you ain't coming over here no more."

"That's our mama's decision," he jokes. I cringe.

"Exactly," she adds.

I put the tongs down and walk out going to my room and shutting the door. I was gonna tell him about COLORS and invite him to come with me but he's pissed me off and now I don't want to talk to him. My mama doesn't even bring my phone right away, it's two more minutes of them still talking. When she brings it, I yell that I don't wanna talk to him. "Well finish the chicken," she directs. I do it.. but I'm still irritated.

"And then when he finally calls me back he doesn't even wanna speak to me. Too busy playing mama's boy to a woman who's not even his mama," I vent at the table watching Yaya's thinned lips stretch in silent judgement across from me. I know she doesn't agree with me, but she's not in my shoes.

"You gotta understand he's just getting comfortable. Your mom's probably trying to be accepting. He's your boyfriend."

"No." That's not it, it's not that simple. "He will dead call for her and ignore me. She doesn't care what I do in a day and I can't get her to look at my art for more than two seconds but he gets her undivided attention. He's only known her for three months."

"That's how it is sometimes," she shrugs. I shake my head.

"No. That's not how it is, and if it is I can't be doing this. No, ma'am."

Her finger raises and I shut up as she takes a call. I didn't even hear a ring, but based on her face she's not liking whoever it is on the phone or what they have to say. She has that stank face that she gets when someone's got her twisted. Meanwhile, the waitress pops back up.

"Ready to order or do you guys need a few more minutes?"

"You must got me fucked up," Yaya blurts causing the server's brow to raise as she looks from Yaya to me. She only asked what we were ordering.

"We're ready to order," I smile. Quickly she takes her pen from her pile of blonde hair.

"I'm not working Friday after I already said I needed that day off," Yays waves to me to order for her since she's on the phone. I know what she'd order. The server looks from her again back to me readying her paper and pen.

"She'll take the fried chicken with mac and collards. I'll take the house cheeseburger with fries.. thank you," I nod as she walks away. I take a sip of my iced tea, wiping the condensation from the glass onto my dress and leaning forward with my hands in my lap.

"Right, but I said it back in July so you'd know I'd need this Friday off. It's in writing, do I need to pull it up," Yaya threatens to whoever is on the phone. I wonder what's going on on Friday. "Yes, pull it up and look at the email.. uhuh.. Yes, so Fri-day I will NOT be there," she enunciates. "Correct… Uhuh, buh-bye!" She rolls her eyes and hangs up shaking her head at me and I know the frustration well, we work at the same Michael's. It's awesome, but our manager is very manipulative. I sip my tea thinking about it.

"You need to be the manager." I wish she were the manager.

"Pur!.. and Dean needs to go," she laughs sipping her coke. "How's your Fiverr going?"

"Oh girl I got some gigs, I've made about $110 from it so far."

"Okay! I'm on Upwork I made about $200."

"Damn. Well I'm looking at working at the Children's Museum for more money."

"True, I saw that position too.. but don't overextend yourself. I'm not.. because we still need to finish with these classes and get our art portfolios together and we ain't finna graduate late-tuh!"

I know, but I also need money.

When our food comes, we get refills on our drinks and that's when she comments on the restaurant, after she bites into her chicken. It's both of our first time coming in, but it's right near our college which is why we decided to give it a shot for lunch. It's called Urban Hangout and that's exactly what it looks like, a coffee shop to hang out in and just sit. The food is really good too.

"So what you got going on Friday," I ask dipping and shoving fries in my mouth one by one.

"Tuh, Friday? Nothing I just needed a day to myself and that's the day I'm taking," her lips pout when I laugh.

"That's smart! I'm glad you ain't let Dean try to sucker you like he be trying." I lean in. She's curling her finger like she needs to tell me something. "He's famous for shit like that -What," I whisper quickly. She waves her hand aggressively for me to stop talking.

"Meg.. you know that guy over there," her eyes flicker to my left. My head stays still but my eyes briefly follow hers to a quiet looking guy sitting at a table alone with an art pad and a beanie on covering his ears and eyebrows, eyes focused down as he draws.

"Mm-mm, no.. Never seen him in my life.."

"Well he keeps looking over here at you, I think he drawing you." She bites her chicken and sips her coke as I stare.

Me? Why he couldn't be drawing her, why does she assume it's me? I take another look at the guy but turn my head too far and end up making eye contact when he looks up. He looks different than I thought he would now that I can see more of his face. He blinks like he's waiting to see what I'm a do so I get up and sit across from him. He's really cute, though I got a man. There's nothing wrong with being nice, I tell myself.

"You go to Alan Hancock?"

The corner of his mouth lifts as he looks straight at me. He has long eyelashes and pretty, full kissable lips. I sit a little straighter. If I weren't already three months deep in a relationship I'd give him my number. He focuses back on his artpad, sketching, his eyes moving back and forth between my face and his paper with new energy. I look over at Yaya wondering if she sees what I see and she's smiling like she knows what I'm thinking. She knows my type, brown skin and bearded. He looks like he has a nice build under the loose shirt. And he draws.

"You speak..?" He doesn't respond. I'm starting to think he's deaf and cute. Maybe he can read lips, both sets. I wave and when he looks up, I point to my lips. "What's your name?" He only and smiles, his eyes creased at the corners, still sketching away.

I decide to just sit still and wait until he's done to see the picture, curious of his skill level. If he doesn't go to Hancock for art, then dammit he should.

Suddenly he stops, looks his page over seriously, and hands me the artpad across the table. He watches me for my reaction. It's a full rendering of my face in great detail and he's made me look beautiful. He's even got my negro nose with the piercing down to the shape of my eyebrows. My locs are accounted for and he put texture on them. Next to that is a full sketch of me sitting at my table, leaning onto the table with the straw in my mouth to drink. He's even got the print of my dress down. Only thing is he's added a realistic looking flower behind my ear in both pictures and I'm not wearing a flower. I look up briefly, curious.

His smile returns as he sees my head tilt with a question in my eyes about the flower. Going into his backpack beside him, he gently pulls out a lively bright golden yellow flower handing it to me. I look to Yaya, who looks equally surprised while I show off my flower. She's fawning.

"Is this how you pick up girls," I smirk smelling it. It's real and I'm geeked. I tuck it behind my ear like suggested by the drawing. Taking his pad, he writes a message on the page and hands it back to me.

24 hours of silence in memory of black women killed by police brutality. My older sister was one and she loved daffodils. I've been giving daffodils to black women all day. This is my last one.

I look up at his warm eyes but now I see traces of sadness.

"When did she die," I whisper unsure of whether to speak or write now. He takes the pad and writes.

2 years ago today.

My heart breaks for him and I hold my heart looking over at Yaya who has no clue what's going on. I'll have to fill her in when I get back over there. In the meantime, I do my best to communicate that I'm truly sorry for his loss.

"Can I have this," I point to the paper. He frowns comically shaking his head and takes his pad back writing again.

I'd rather keep it. I like how it came out.

Can't say I don't understand him as an artist because there are times when you look at your work and love it too much to let it go. Still, it is my face. He smiles seeing my disappointment. I nod deciding to let it go and stand to head back to my table. By the time I sit down, he's up with his things and leaving the cafe. I let Yaya into the loop and she sympathizes looking over to the space where he previously sat.

In class, my eisele faces the window and I start my under painting which is a wash of the background.

"How did you get yet another picture in the hall," I turn to ask Yaya after thinking about it for a good few minutes. She grins with her tongue out between her teeth.

"I keep telling you, taking outside classes and going to workshops really helps you develop in realism."

"I keep saying I'm going to," I sigh as I plop my brush in water. She sweeps her brush across her canvas back and forth.

"You're lazy. That's why you haven't had anything in the hall."

"No, but why can't I just practice and learn from the classes I'm already paying for," I groan. "Otherwise why am I paying?"

"Because you can't, suck it up. You want to be in the hall or you wanna be average?"

"I wanna make $200 on Upwork."

"Up your skill set and you can," she points to my canvas with her detail brush adding insult to injury.

"Bitch, I'm trying!" Honest, I am. I've improved on my own a great deal but I've still never sold like she has. Her art is in THE HALL.

At Allan Hancock College, only the best student work lines the white brick walls of the art halls. The best of the best make it to the glass display. Every visitor to the building had to pass through the art hall and without meaning to, they stop to admire the art almost without fail. Sometimes the art sells for prices upwards of $300. Colorful portraits, hyperrealistic paintings of still life and everyday objects.. Needless to say, the hall is the goal of every art student and the golden standard to aspire to.

"That's pretty," Francis smiles in passing on the way to his easel. He's referring to my self-portrait. I started with the background and now I'm painting my skin tone. Glancing over to his station, I move from my spot to take a look at his canvas.

"Aww, look at Gravy lil fat self!" He's painting his lil fat French bulldog. "Wait a minute... Francis, you got better!.."

"I went to a painting workshop this past weekend, it was a bring your dog paint and sip night. You should've seen all of the puppies! I met a few new people too, 100% reccomend."

"You talkin bout COLORS," April jumps in from behind. Instantly I look at Yaya and she looks at me.

"I love COLORS, I'm telling you, I go there all the time. I've learned so much skill-wise and every day they have something different going on," Francis says. "You ever been?" The question is to me, but before I can answer, April cuts in.

"Y'all need to go on a Saturday night," she smirks.

"I went Sunday, it was fun. Had a lil wine," Francis adds.

"Exactly, no.. Go Saturday Night it's portrait and figure drawing night but there's always a live model and 9 times out of 10 they're always fine." She goes to her portfolio and pulls a painting of a nude black woman. Her strong features are in great detail I notice as I appraise it. This could be in the hall too if she were serious.

"Damn, I been going the wrong day, sign me up," Sheena cuts in. I ain't even see her behind me. "I wanna go, but I wanna paint a woman," she says causing Francis to look back playfully.

"We know."

"Look, I'm going this Saturday night if y'all wanna meet me there," Yaya announces as she focuses on her picture reminding me that I need to head back to mine. "Let me know and I'll get us a table. Just everyone chip in since I'm using my card."

It seems like everyone plans to go. "I'm going too," I say not wanting to be left out.

"Oh I know you are," Yaya's brow raises. I turn my lip up playfully. Kellan would've been bored there anyway he doesn't have an artistic bone in his body. He's like my mom, not interested.

Cutting the engine on my mama's car, I exit the gps and call Yaya.

"Hey. Where you at, I ain't see your car?"

"I'm coming. I'm a few minutes away, wait for me."

"I see Sheena and Francis standing outside. I can claim our station, it's fine. Just meet me inside," I tell her and on entering the urban paint bar with Sheena and Francis directly behind me, the walls are dust free and eggshell white. The overhead fixtures bring white artificial light. The floors are a light sandy wood, finished for easy clean. It looks way better than the outside, bigger too.

Francis leads the way to the desk/register/information center and I grab a brochure advertising a gallery showing that's supposed to happen.

"Hey we have a reservation for five under Yaya. 8PM," he states and we're escorted to a warm white brick space with finished wood floors easy for cleaning. Still there are plastic tarps. There are three other small groups with clustered easels signifying a division, each group with a corresponding table. Our table is table three and we order a bottle of red wine which comes around the same time as April and Yaya. We're all here and ready.

April and Francis take control since they've been to COLORS. They secure our palletes, paints, and brushes.

"Let's make it a competition," April suggests.

"You're on," Yaya points. We're all in, prepping our canvases before the model arrives and when the door reopens we all look up. "IT'S HIM," Yaya gasps echoing my thoughts. He looks just as stoic and reserved as the first time we saw him. I wave catching his eye and jog toward him stopping with my hands on my hips.

"You gotta be an art student," I gape up at him realizing he's taller than I remember. "You everywhere we be!" His lips pout in the tiniest smirk and I wonder if he's still not talking. "My bad, yes or no questions only. Nod for yes.. Are you an art student?"

He shakes his head no.

"Wow wow wow, you in school?"

He nods.

"I really wanna ask you where I'm about to start guessing schools."

Raising a finger to say wait, he proceeds to lightly grab my upper arms and shift me from his path like I'm in the way. I'm offended!

He heads to the middle point of the room which houses a small platform with a few props.

"Ohh," I mouth watching him pull of his thin but loose long sleeved purple vneck. "Dayum!"

I head back to my easel and my group has the same expression. This man looks like a gym rat. I suspected as much but you really couldn't tell through the shirt and that seems to have been on purpose. He's not like me, I flex hard af when I know I look good.

"Professionalism," I remind my classmates. "Y'all seen a naked body before. We are artists, we do not ogle... We respect the human form."

I'm half joking because I know it's normal to have a reaction, but they take me seriously and go into mature mode. Then the man takes off his ripped skinny jeans revealing strong, long, lean calves and solid, defined thighs. He's standing in burgundy briefs that expose that he's working with a monster. Big boy status in those briefs.

It's not like I've never seen a penis, Kellan's is not small. It's not as girthy as this guy's.. but it's similar in length. I'm glad he's not hear to see me damn near simping over this model. That could've been extremely awkward.

I look at the other groups and they seem to be really mature about it. I watch their eyes to see if they're faking composure but quickly change my mind and mind my business. It's a good time to grow up myself.

Then the briefs come off. I keep my face neutral but I see from the corner of my vision that the big boy is hanging. It's been a whole strip tease, I'm almost nervous to look up because my poker face is too fragile. Instead, I start with his face and upper body and jump to his legs based on my view of him. His side is turned to me. I mix my colors for the tonal differences in his skin, accounting for shadows and highlights. I want this portrait to look as good, no.. BETTER than the one he did of me in the cafe. I also want to win this little painting competition. I work on getting the color placement blocked out and accurate and then I follow up with blending and details. His hair is one of my favorite things to paint and I'm confident no one's touching me on that.

He moves around every so often to give the ones who request it a closer look. I don't mind it because he's good at returning to his mark and exact position. Also the lighting doesn't change.

I get his whole body down nearly, left with the gap between his v-cut and his thighs. It's childish but instead of drawing his penis, I start painting in the props. I paint the blue vase and the small stand holding the half full water bottle he keeps taking little breaks to sip from.

"Anyone else hot," I whisper blousing my shirt to give myself air underneath. April takes it as a sign to walk around our easels to look at our canvases and we do the same with each other's. Instantly I realize my painting isn't as good as I thought it was and that I can do better.

"You missed a whole part," she comments inspecting my painting carefully. She's looking at the way I painted his locs. I definitely succeeded there. "You just not gonna give him a dick?"

"I'm not done, I couldn't really see it from this angle," I lie. "I'm just gonna paint a modesty leaf."

"That'll ruin your pretty picture, I've seen your leaves," Francis grimaces. "It's a small part, you can finish it we have time."

I wanna tell him it ain't that small. That thing is big. Instead I pick up the brush to deliberate.

"Hey, could you come just a little closer, please? She's trying to see from the side," April points to me and when he comes closer, I have no excuse.

"Helps to paint it if you look at it maybe every once in a while," he deadpans. I freeze momentarily to look him in the eye. He thinks he's clever.

"Oh you talk now," I smile sarcastically. His small answering smirk shows no malice, purely teasing.

"I like to let people talk who like to talk."

"Yeah aight." I have to look. I start filling in the missing part of his body and when I glance left, Yaya is smirking at me. It's subtle, but I know her and I ignore her.

Kellan wouldn't understand me standing up here sipping wine and drawing dicks with a naked man so close to me. I don't think I'll tell him. That's not something I care to explain and I don't have to, it's art not sexual. I make sure I copy the smooth transition from brown to pinkish-brown on the tip of the dick. I get the healthy shine and the light pull of the balls which are big. He's clean shaven or waxed, I don't know which. When I've got the gist of it he returns to his original position.

"What's your name anyway," I call out. I can't be the only one curious.

"What importance is a given name? The universe will mold us into what we're truly meant to be."

"Erik. His name is Erik," a girl from table four says with a humored sigh. "Ignore him, he's a troll."

"That's a label you've chosen for me. You're a white woman, you are not the universe. Only black women can attempt to perceive me."

"Shut.. up," she groans. It's hard to tell but I'm starting to see he likes mixing his genuine responses with satire. It's confusing. He could be a hotep or he could be fishing. But why would hotep be a nude model? Are there hotep nude models who hand out flowers and draw in cafes?

"Let's compare," Yaya announces and we all vote on the winner with feedback from the other groups who actually consist of nice people. Yaya wins, no surprise there. I'm still proud of my painting. It's my best so far. I wish I could show it to my mama and my man without them viewing it as something perverted.

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #colors

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kakyoinryoko · 3 years

Note

im curious what u think jotaros life pre sdc was like

probably not good from what we see but i’m not super into speculation about this sort of thing beyond what can be inferred on a pretty base level... like, i feel no need to have detailed headcanons about everything that happened to him exactly. i have vague ideas but nothing super in depth outside of how him being gay and trans affects things already established or implied. i don’t know what exactly jotaro’s high school fights would revolve around, for example, and i don’t particularly have any desire to come up with any headcanons for this. i say this but i’m about to drop an entire essay here i guess. cool, embarrassing, etc

i’ve talked about it a little before but i think Something happened to him between entering high school and reaching his third year that kinda fucked him up, and whatever it was caused him to start acting more coldly and harshly towards his mother, who he previously was very openly loving towards. i’ve heard people say that the only reason holly sees him that way at the beginning of sdc is because she has illusions about her son being a better and kinder person than he is, but that’s just not true. i don’t think the imagery of him dressing like a proper student and being happy to receive a valentine and smiling at her and openly expressing his love for her cooking were false memories, i think he actually said and did those things, it was just stuff that happened when he was younger, probably a first year. i’ve said it over and over, but as it is, in the present day (as of sdc), she fully understands what her son is like. she’s introduced into the series asking the cops how many people he killed. that was her instinctual guess upon hearing he was arrested—this says to me 1) he’s never been arrested before, but 2) she knows about the fighting he gets up to and has feared that this is where it would end at some point. she also emphasizes the fact that he can’t fool her when it comes to his tough guy act—she realizes that it’s deep beneath his extremely rough exterior, but he IS a good and caring person at heart. she never says anything about him that isn’t true, and anyone brushing her off as a dumb naive woman just isn’t reading between the lines. or maybe isn’t reading at all frankly. it’s all right there in front of you.

as for his past. at a guess. it seems like he doesn’t really have any friends at all, at any point in the manga, outside of the people we see him interacting with in the parts themselves. as of his childhood and teen years, the fact that he’s half american and his father is largely absent is one possible reason i have heard brought up before, but i think it’s also because he comes across as pretty weird and hard to get along with. as an autistic person i see a lot of myself and my own struggles with interpersonal relationships in jotaro, so i think his issues with people are in no small part because he is autistic himself. i’m not going to belabor the explanation here because others have made better posts than i could about why he reads so heavily as autistic, but i think it comes down to him missing social cues, and not coming across the way he intends to, and not being able to read the implications in the things people say to him, and him being trans on top of that would make him feel like even more of an odd one out. i think he would deal with that by being kind of a sukeban type, so at least his ostracization feels like he’s in control of it and he’s being strong, but even so, acting like a scary tough girl isn’t a replacement for transitioning.

i think he would start transitioning (which is to say, changing his name and presentation and starting testosterone, but that’s about all) late in middle school, around 14, so that by the time he’s a first year in high school he’s fully stealth. and it makes him happy at first, because people are talking to him as a boy, and using a boy’s name for him (perhaps part of why he’s so chill about people calling him by first name the second they meet him, since that’s a little odd to do otherwise), so for a time he’s a happy enough kid. i think t hits him pretty hard and fast, and he shoots up almost immediately and gets to be like six feet tall and buff and deep voiced by the time he’s like 15, so suddenly he’s not so much the awkward american girl as he is the super tall strong guy that the guys all fear and respect and the girls all have a crush on, which is maybe nice at first, but i think the allure would wear off pretty fast.

i don’t think he necessarily realizes that it’s because he’s gay, but we see ourselves pretty clearly that he doesn’t enjoy the attention from girls beyond maybe thinking it’s a better alternative to having them mock him like when he was younger. he hates having them crowd around him and fawn over him—he has no interest in any of them in the first place, and none of them ACTUALLY care who he is, just that he’s tall and strong and handsome, and he hates that. and then, of course, guys fearing and respecting him turns into people wanting to fight him, and something terrible happens as a result of that, and he ends up an extremely guarded and hostile person as a result, even to the ones he loves. it gets to the point where he’s a target for actual serious violence, even from grown adult gang members as we see at the start of sdc, so his desire to keep people away from him as a means of keeping them safe kicks in—and this is something that sticks with him for the rest of his life, even into his 40s with his daughter. only tangentially related but i think the true tragedy of part 3 is that he was finally getting over that mindset, he was finally starting to see value in keeping people close to him and trusting in and relying on others. but primarily we see him express this sentiment towards kakyoin. and kakyoin dies. and more specifically dies for jotaro. so that all comes crashing down hard, and he’s right back where he started.

back to the main point i also feel i should mention i’m 100% of the belief he has perfect grades and attendance even when he’s more into the delinquent act. i say act mostly because i don’t think he’s actually hugely into the whole bancho subculture; i don’t think he would actually join any gangs, i think he prefers to keep to himself until other people go looking to start shit with him, which he always finishes handily (allegedly, no one has ever seen him get hurt before). probably including the teacher who he ran off, regardless of whatever happened then—he says himself that injustice and harming the weak makes him extremely mad, so there was definitely more going on there than just “jotaro got mad at a teacher because he’s a violent person and beat the shit out of him for no reason and so the guy got scared and quit,” though i don’t really care to speculate deeper than that. the teacher was not an innocent party is all i’m saying.

i suppose this is all just an unreasonably long winded way of saying “idk but i sure think about it a lot.” basically just extrapolations from the way he interacts with his peers from what little we see, and from the bio about him coming across in a much more cold and aloof way than he thinks he does, and from his relationship with his mom, and from what we see based on her memories of him when he was younger.

#op #i ate dinner in the middle of writing this so it took a bit LOL sorry #i did not proof read it very well either. but you get what you get.#long post #i’m so sorry but i forgot how to do a read more on mobile. sorry. i hate this more than you. i promise

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wokestraightpuffy · 3 years

Note

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER? the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever.

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO)

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

* she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot.

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

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happys-crazy-queen22 · 4 years

Text

As Far As You Let Me

Gif credit @logan-delos

Requested on wattpad

Hope you all enjoy.

Happy Reading Dollies

Taglist: @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder

Song:Hips don't lie by Shakira

Original character: Maria

Warning: Smut smut and more smut. Daddy kink.

"Earth to Maria". Adam waved his hand in front of your face. Not paying him any attention when Antonio Dawson, Detective Antonio Dawson walked into the squad room. He was wearing a tight white shirt, tight black jeans and a gray hoodie with a red plaid shirt tied around his waist. God, he looked so good. You felt the drool escape down the corner of your mouth to your chin and you hastily wiped it off breaking your day dreaming.

"Maria? Are you with me"? Adam asked with a slight grin.

"Yeah. I'm, I'm just concentrating". You casually covered but glanced up at Antonio and he smiled at you. Wanting to let a squeal but you kept in it.

"You sure? This job isn't getting to you is it? I know how hard it is to concentrate on things when you have a hot body in front of you". Adam whispered and slammed his hand on the desk to break your day dreaming once again as you caught Antonio in your line of vision. You jumped and playfully hit him in the arm.

"You need to leave and get out of my personal space". You laughed pushing him away.

"You wouldn't mind Antonio in your personal space would you? No I didn't think so. So why dont you just march your butt over there and talk to him? Here take these and give them to him. You can explain your mumbo jumbo to him cause I'm not getting it". Adam handed you the case files you had done for the unit.

"Adam, leave me alone". You softly yelled at him.

"No, not until you take these over there".

"You are so lazy". You growled as you took a deep breath and walked over to where Antonio was. He was sitting on his desk talking to Jay.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt but Adam wanted me to give these to you". You said quickly and handed the files to Antonio.

"Thanks. Um what are you doing tonight"? Antonio asked as you watched his mouth. Oh his lovely mouth. The things it could do. You bit your lip as you stared at him.

"Maria? Maria"? Antonio snapped his fingers to get your attention. But all you could think was about his fingers. Going in and out of your wet juicy pussy. Sticking them in your mouth so you could taste yourself as he sucked on your hard nipple.

"Maria"? This time is wasn't Antonio it was Adam once again. He threw a paper air plane at you and hit you in the nose.

"You're a child Adam". You rolled your eyes as you held your nose.

"Let me look". Antonio offered. His hands were so warm, gentle and soft. You melted under his touch.

"You'll be fine. So what about tonight? You free".?

"Yeah".

"Good. We're all going to Molly's. So I'll see you there". He smiled and walked into Voights office.

You turned on your heels and balled up the paper airplane in your hand. "Run". You mouthed with a sneered at Adam. Adam took off like his ass was on fire. You hot on his tail, he was going to regret interrupting your day dreaming.

After a few minutes Adam came back to the squad room limping and holding his nose.

"Yo, Adam. What happened"? Kevin busted out laughing, he already knew what happened.

"I have paper cuts in my nose".Adam groaned as he sat at his desk. You came back in with a satisfied smile plastered on your face.

"What did you do"? Kevin tilted his head back in his chair and asked.

"Adam learned that if you miss use paper you're going to get cut". You say typing on your computer.

"She shoved the airplane up my nose". Adam scoffed.

Kevin busted out laughing. "I knew that. Just wanted you to say it. Oh that's funny". Kevin held his chest as he wheezed from laughter.

"Laugh it up". Adam was made but it was funny. He knew not to mess with you. Especially about Antonio. That was a no no subject at work.

The day went on without further incident from Adam or anyone and soon the shift was over. You headed home and got ready.

That night it was hot. Like scolding hot. So you decided to wear your cut off Jean shorts and a tank top with a pair of converses. You put your hair up in a ponytail and did your makeup real nice. This was a side that no one really saw at work. Work and your personal life were two different things and you wanted to keep it that way. That's why you haven't jumped on Antonio.

Walking into Molly's, someone had requested Hips Don't Lie by Shakira and you giggled. You always loved that song but it wasn't a song you would play in Molly's.

You saw Antonio talking with his sister Gabby and Herrmann. They were laughing and joking around. You headed your way over to the bar but right in front of Antonio's table. Your hips swayed to the music.

Antonio caught sight of something he wasn't familiar with you. He licked his lips, his mouth started watering.

His eyes wondered up from your feet to your tight blue jeans shorts, staringat your ass. To be fair they were a little to short and to tight. Ones you didnt wear panties with. Antonio liked this side of you more than the nervous little girl at work.

(Oh, baby, when you talk like that

You make a woman go mad

So be wise (sí) and keep on (sí)

Reading the signs of my body (uno, dos, tres, cuatro)

I'm on tonight

You know my hips don't lie (no fighting)

And I'm starting to feel it's right

All the attraction, the tension

Don't you see, baby, this is perfection?

Hey, girl, I can see your body moving

And it's driving me crazy

And I didn't have the slightest idea

Until I saw you dancing (yeah)

And when you walk up on the dance floor

Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl (just move)

And everything so unexpected, the way you right and left it

So you can keep on shaking it (let's go)

Maria"? A smirk formed on your lips as you heard Antonio call you from his table. The song was changing to something softer so you grabbed your drink and headed over.

"Glad you could make it". Antonio re-adjusted his pants as they became tighter than usual. From the front side Antonio couldnt handle it. You were wearing a white tank top and you have a black bra that made your breast pop like they were perfect in that bra. Antonio was loving it himself.

"Thanks for inviting me". You stood at the table. Antonio patted the seat beside him and you took the seat.

"How long have you worked for Voight"? Gabby asked making small talk. She was going to excuse herself from all the built up sexual tension that was exploring from the two of you but Antonio kicked her leg under the table.

"Just a few years. My mom knew him from long ago and he always said that if I ever needed a job there would be one waiting for me. So I went to school for programming but it lead to me hacking into the school and people's computers for fun until I was kicked out so now I work for Hank doing computer stuff for the unit".

"She's a genius when it comes to that computer stuff". Antonio complemented you making you blush. Gabby must have seen it. She mouthed to Antonio that she liked you.

"Can we get you another drink"? Gabby asked.

"No let me". You say getting into your bag and saw your wallet was still in your locker at the station.

"Shit".

"What's wrong"? Antonio looked at your bag and then to you.

"I left my wallet in my locker. I better go get it. I just drove here without my license". You tell him and got up from your seat

"Thanks for the drink". You smiled, but was kicking yourself for forgetting your wallet. This could have been the night he made a move or you did. This sucks.

"You want me to come with you"? Antonio offered.

"You don't have to. I can walk. I dont want to drive so I'll walk". You went to head out but Antonio grabbed your hand.

"I'm not letting you walk..alone". He chuckled.

"You sure"?

"Yeah, let's go. See you sis". Gabby waved goodbye, you and Antonio left the bar holding hands as you walked down the street.

"I feel so stupid". You shook your head.

"You forgot your wallet. It happens to everyone". Antonio squeezed your hand. Your arms swinging together in between your bodies.

"I drove without my license. I broke the law. I could have been in so much trouble if I was stopped".

"Nah, you'll be alright. They would have called me and I would've came and got you".

"Thanks. I appreciate it". You sighed happily. The walk seemed like it was cut short when the station steps came in your view.

You let go of Antonio's hand and opened the door for him. He went in and you followed.

"I'll meet you up there". Antonio said as he started talking to the night desk officer. You nodded and signed in heading up the stairs. You jogged to the locker room and unlocked your locker. Finding your wallet right where you placed it when you gave Jay money for your lunch that afternoon.

Putting it in your bag you were about to walk back down the stairs when you heard a noise come from Voights office. His light was on and the door was cracked. You figured he was there but there was no shadow where he would be sitting and he always kept his door locked even when he was in there.

So you went to check it out, pushing the door open just enough for you to get in you stepped in and saw no one was there. The door slammed behind you and you jumped almost out of your skin.

"Gotcha". Antonio jumped from behind the door where he was crouched down.

"Jerk". You playfully punched him in the arm. He dramatically cried in pain holding his arm.

"You hurt me. Oh you hurt me". He cried out.

You rolled your eyes and kissed his arm. "There happy"?

"You missed a spot".

You went to kiss his arm again but he grabbed your face in his hand and planted a big juicy and deep kiss to your lips.

Antonio pulled back. Your lips still puckered. Antonio giggled.

"Why did you stop"? You asked bashfully.

"I wanted to make sure that was okay"?

"That was more than okay". You grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to your lips. Devouring him.

Antonio pushed you up against Voights desk and putting you on top of it. Your legs wrapped around him.

He kissed your lips and traveled down to your neck. Leaving purple marks to be seen tomorrow. They were going to be a bitch to cover up.

Your hands went to his shirt hem and tugged it up.his body. Throwing it somewhere in the room. Your fingernails raked down his back, your teeth nipped at his shoulder.

Antonio squeezed your breast in his hand. "Just the right amount like they were made just for me". He groaned against your skin. This man had perfect hands so your breast did fit him.

"Fuck, daddy". Your eyes grew wide as Antonio stepped back with a shocking chuckle.

"Daddy? That's what this innocent Maria like"?

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet, papi". You pulled him by his belt and brought him back to you.

Your hand snaked down his pants, he was already hard and he was so massive. Bigger than you day dreamed about. Your mouth watered as you stroked him.

He pulled your tank top over your head and unclamped your bra throwing them behind him. His mouth went to your hardened nipple. Swirling and pulling at it between his teeth. Making you whimper.

"Papi, please". You couldnt take the teasing. You had to have him inside of you.

Removing your hand from his pants, he helped you out of yours. Leaving you in nothing but your converses. He pushed you down on the desk. Your feet on the desk and your legs apart.

"Fuck you look so sweet, little girl". Antonio knelt down between your legs, he unfastened his pants and pulled out his cock and pumped it. He ran his tongue over your sensitive clit. You were already so wet that you couldnt stand it.

He licked you up and down your slit. Gathering your juices over his tongue. "You taste like pure heaven". He mumbled against your clit, sending vibrations through your body.

"Mmmmmm". You moaned, biting your bottom lip.

He took one hand and held on to your thigh the other brushed over your mound. Antonio eased his middle finger in your wet tight little hole. Making you wiggle.

You could hear his breathing quicken as he added another. He pumped in and out of you. A squishy sound filled the room and he upped his pace. His middle and ring finger pounding in your as the thumb from his other hand rubbed your clit.

You were a mumbling moaning mess under his touch. Antonio couldnt stand it anymore. He stood up and rammed into you with ease. The sensation was magnificent. The way he stretched you in places you didn't know you had. He touched places with his cock you didnt know a cock could touch. The guys before him were nothing compared to him. He was everything and more. Much more.

"Fuck, you're so tight. Fits me snugger than a glove". He pounded into you. You held onto the edge of the desk. Your body arched off the desk giving Antonio a better angel. He grabbed your hips and drilled into you. Your breast bouncing roughly.

"Fuck me daddy. Fuck me". You squealed as the tip of his cock brushed against your g-spot.

"That's it baby girl. Scream for daddy". Antonio grunted. His pace quickened. One hand left your hip to go up to your breast and play with your nipple.

"You going to come all over daddy's dick? Like a good girl"? He smirked as your face got real red.

"Yes, daddy. Please can I cum". You tried to keep it in but he was just to much for you to handle.

"Cum on my cock". You clenched around him squeezing him tight. Your breath hitched and you came seeing stars. You felt lightheaded but that didnt stop you from feeling all the pleasure he was giving you.

"Good girl". Antonio praised you.

"Cum on me daddy". Antonio nodded and thrusted deep inside a few more times then pulled out and came on your pussy shooting his large load all over you. You rubbed your clit with his cum. He grunted and growled as he jerked his cock.

"Fucking hell". He growled sucking your breast into his mouth like a vacuum cleaner.

Antonio pushed back inside you, you whimpered as you were sensitive. But he felt so good. He laid on you and sucker your breast. He grew soft in you and you couldn't have felt more comfortable and happiness being with Antonio. God, you were falling in love with this man. He was so perfect.

You stayed like that for awhile but decided to head back to his place and spend the rest of the night cuddling and fucking the night away. Just how your day dreaming played out. But this was better.

#happys-crazy-queen22 #antonio dawson x reader #antonio dawson smut #antonio dawson chicago pd #chicago pd antonio dawson #antonio dawson #antonio dawson imagine #antonio dawson fanfiction #chicago pd fic #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd smut #chicago pd drabble

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gizkasparadise · 4 years

Text

cdrama rec/review: go ahead

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: go ahead Episodes: 40 Genres: family, healing/melodrama, slice of life, romance Spoilers in the Rec: for the first 20% ish/set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: reply 1988, le coup de foudre, find yourself (same production company/main male actor), rain or shine/just between lovers, found family stories, meet again stories

Rank: 10/10** (see Drawbacks section)

PREMISE

widower hai chao and his 6 year old daughter jian jian live happily above his noodle restaurant despite the recent, tragic death of his wife. one day, dysfunction junction a married couple (he ping, a police officer, and chen ting, a real piece of work) move into the same building with their 7 year old son, ling xiao. immediately, jian jian attaches herself to ling xiao, who is unexpectedly grim for a small child.

because ling xiao’s family is less-than-healthily grieving the loss of their youngest child, ling xiao’s sister who died in a terrible accident. The Apartment of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms eventually implodes, ending with chen ting abandoning her husband and son. he ping, suddenly a single father, and hai chao come to a friendly partnership that is clearly alluding to gay marriage where they co-raise both of their kids--hai chao as the primary caregiver, and he ping supporting them financially through his job as a policeman.

meanwhile, the neighborhood busybody is dead-set on getting hia chao remarried. eventually she introduces him to a divorced single mother, he mei, and her son zi qiu, who is ling xiao’s age. they sort of start to date, but it culminates in he mei skipping town and leaving zi qiu behind. hai chao, man with a heart of gold, informally adopts him and zi qiu becomes jianjian’s foster brother.

from there, the trio grow up happily and become inseparable. but once zi qiu and ling xiao graduate high school, the bullshit parade their respective childhood skeletons reappear in their lives. circumstances lead to the boys moving overseas, leaving jianjian and their fathers behind.

they reunite after 9 years, when the boys return to a home where they hope to pick things back up from where they left off. things are more complicated than that, as jianjian finds herself in a new life and surrounded by new people.

MAIN CHARACTERS

li jian jian

hai chao’s daughter and the only girl in the family. she attended the required short-hair-low-grades training program required of all cdrama youth female leads. super positive and outgoing, as well as the youngest of the three pseudo-siblings, jian jian grows up spoiled and over protected by her father and brothers, and as a result is completely devastated once her family falls apart. it’s so sad.

after the time skip, she’s an on-the-verge successful artist who makes woodcarvings, and exudes big art bro energy. inhales sugar like it’s nobody’s business. she inherited her father’s disease called caring too much, and it’s incurable!!

ling xiao

the eldest brother and resident fun police. ling xiao comes from a seriously toxic home that finally seems to improve once his mother leaves. but then she comes back. fucking great. introverted to the point of being withdrawn to anyone but his chosen family, ling xiao’s had to carry a lot of emotional weight that takes a larger and larger toll on him as the series progresses. please get this boy some therapy.

becomes a dentist because jian jian needs one. wears a lot of monochromatic outfits with low necklines because heavy angst but make it fashion. has been in love with jian jian since high school and is still carrying that torch 9 years later.

he zi qiu

the middle child who grows up in hai chao and jian jian’s home, and is her foster brother in all but paperwork. hotheaded, zi qiu and jian jian basically share two brain cells that ling xiao routinely takes from them for safekeeping. he spoils jian jian, sneaking her snacks and junk food and wants to become a pastry chef so he can open a sweet shop for her!!

my favorite character. just wants to be wanted 8( him and hai chao’s relationship is my favorite dynamic in the series. will sob while driving a pink moped. is too proud to beg

li hai chao (left) and ling he ping (right)

the greatest (hai chao) and okayest (he ping) dads in the world! noodle dad/hai chao has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and we know this and we love him. he ping isn’t a bad person, but demonstrates pretty classic absentee parenting/isn’t as emotionally present in his son’s life as hai chao. hai chao is the heart of the family, and would do anything for his kids 8(

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS

tang can (left) and qiu ming yue (right)

jian jian’s #GirlGang and roommates. they, like literally everyone in this drama, have some severe mom issue hang-ups. tang can (left) is a former child actress who is struggling with her lack of success as an adult and gives well-meaning but absolutely terrible advice on the regular.

ming yue (right) is jian jian’s best friend since childhood and as an adult is trying to break free from her mother’s controlling nature--she’s also had a thing for ling xiao for the last 9 years. raises fish for symbolism purposes.

chen ting

ling xiao’s mom and certified garbage human. unable to cope with the death of her daughter that was her fault lbr, she abandons her family and disappears for ten years. she forces her way back into ling xiao’s life when he turns 18, where it’s revealed that she’s remarried and ling xiao has a younger half-sister chengzi (”little orange”). shit goes down, and soon ling xiao is forced to move back to singapore to serve as primary caregiver to both his mother who abandoned him and the half sister he barely knows.

emotionally abusive and basically hits every single square on the toxic parent bingo card. i just. i just hate her. even typing this out is making me mad.

he mei

zi qiu’s mother. after a few dates with hai chao, she ends up ditching her kid and disappearing for unknown reasons. is a slightly better parent than chen ting but that’s like saying some poison kills you slower. the show tries to bring us around on her but it didnt work for me.

SOME OTHERS

zhuang bei, zi qiu’s best friend growing up who i would like a lot less if he wasn’t played by the same actor who played my beloved dachuan

zheng shuran, jian jian’s first boyfriend and fellow artist who’s got a weird thing for women’s waists and pretentious artists’ statements

du juan, jian jian’s friend who co-owns their woodworking studio. has absolute trash taste in men

chengzi, ling xiao’s half-sister who can be a brat but dear god does she need to be protected/saved

**DRAWBACKS

so this is a weird one for me. what i didn’t like i really didn’t like, but what i loved i really loved. ultimately, the factors/uniqueness of this show and the loveability of the main characters outweighed the negatives and it’s one of my favorite dramas.

THAT SAID. i got some #thoughts on this one.

first, there are literally no positive mother figures in this show. not a damn one. they are all negligent or controlling at best or down right abusive at worst. no woman over 30 is portrayed positively and that’s a big No from me.

the last 10 eps have some pacing issues and focus on the wrong people. spending the remaining episodes focused on one of the most universally hated characters vs. the main family was a bad move

the show tried to redeem or make us sympathize with characters that were, to me, completely irredeemable. one case is worse than the other, but both of them were terrible people that deserved to be cut out of the main family’s lives.

REASONS TO WATCH

the main family. the characters are so wonderful and nuanced, and their dynamics with one another were amazing. you’ll fall in love with hai chao aka noodle dad and the trio. they go through so many trials but they still stick together and it’s ultimately a healing drama and i loved it very much.

the central romance was less in focus, but the pining is enough to make jane austen emerge from the grave. i loved the leads together, and while LOL ling xiao’s attachment to jian jian was not always healthy, they supported each other and it made me smile. i love me a tortured pining dude.

#Acting. everyone played their parts to perfection. the child actors in particular were so well-cast (esp baby zi qiu)

the soundtrack lmao. you watch the opening credits and know you’ll need to buckle up

idk it’s a very unique show, and i haven’t seen one like it. reply 1988 comes close, but it doesn’t tackle the same issues and it was all just very real and earnest.

Final Thoughts.

GOODNIGHT, GOOODBYYYYYE MY CHILDREEEEEEEN

#go ahead #song weilong #zhang xincheng #tan songyun #cdrama #gizka does kdrama

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malfoyfarms · 4 years

Text

Behind His Back

maybe a rafe imagine? i get it if you don’t want to write for him :) -nonnie

hi can you do a fluff/angst with rafe pls 🥺🥺-nonnie

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

T/W: couple a swear words

A/N: So I managed to finish three requests bc I’m sitting in the barn waiting for my last three cows to calve... hopefully they’ll all be posted soon!

You pushed the lobster and pasta around your plate trying to avoid any conversation with the adults who were gathered around you. The polka dotted dress you were wearing was constricting your movement, probably on purpose so you wouldn’t mess up the perfectly pinned back hair.

Your family had invited the Cameron’s over this evening, celebrating you and Rafe’s one and a half years of dating. To you it felt like a business deal, but all you wanted from your parents was to hear “We’re proud of you,” and if that meant dating Rafe Cameron, then so be it.

You weren’t one to lie, you had fallen in love with the boy, but things between the two of you weren’t exactly the same as when you had first announced your partnership. Deep down you two understood each other, but it still didn’t completely outweigh the unhealthy behavior.

“So Y/N, where have you been looking for college? I know your Mom’s an alum of Wake Forest,” Ward asked you from across the large table. Swallowing your bite and wiping your mouth, you prepared your answer. Rafe and I were a year apart, him already attending the university in Chapel Hill.

“It was supposed to be a surprise for next week, but I accepted a position to play field hockey at Dartmouth College,” you responded absentmindedly. You flashed a large smile, feeling Rafe’s hand tighten around your thigh. He hated thinking about the two of you parting ways for college, therefore you never talked about it.

“Y/N, I thought you were applying to UNC Chapel Hill?” Rafe asked, caught off guard by the response you gave his father.

“No, not anymore. With double legacy, a first-gen woman at Dartmouth, and a position to keep playing field hockey, I’d be stupid not to accept,” I stated, getting heated. My two older brothers made eye contact with Sarah, John B and Wheezie, knowing it was about to get interesting.

“It’s beautiful here in North Carolina, why would you want to leave?”

“I can ski in New Hampshire,” I retorted.

“We’re a team, Y/N, I thought we talked about decisions before we made them,” Rafe was turning red. You were challenging him, in front of both families and a pogue.

“We’re not married, Rafe, I can make my own decisions,” You rolled your eyes. As if anything more could go wrong, your eldest brother threw in a comment about a friend of his he could introduce you to so you can acclimate to the campus properly.

“I just can’t believe you went behind my back when making such a life altering decision. What you chose affects my reputation,” He was looking down at you, like you were a dog and he was your owner. You were ready to destroy, destroy, destroy, just like Daddy had taught his little girl.

“Oh, so it’s okay to go behind my back and do drugs with Topper and Kelce, or go around beating the shit out of the kids from the cut?” His eyes were starting to dart around as the entire table kept watching. You weren’t finished though. “It’s okay to go behind my back and take my tip money to pay your drug lord? Rafe, your actions affect my reputation.” You spat with a mocking tone. Everyone was silent.

You stood up, pushed in your chair and made your way to your bedroom. You hadn’t even had the door closed before you stripped your dress off, replacing it with shorts and a sweatshirt representing your future commitment.

Tears were pricking your eyes due to the scene you had caused downstairs. Your mother would be furious without a doubt, but your dad may let you off the hook, you were his baby girl. All you wanted to do was impress your parents with the academic and athletic achievement, but once again you let Rafe’s words cause actions that took that very moment away from you.

It was going on 3:30 in the morning, when you heard your brother walk down the hall towards your room. Quickly wiping your eyes, and standing up to greet him.

“Rafe is on the front porch waiting for you. He called me like nine times because you decided to turn off your phone,” he said. “I can make him go away if you want.”

You shrugged your shoulders and silently made your way to your boyfriend. Once you opened the door and took in his appearance as it matched your own. Red-rimmed eyes, runny nose and twitchy hands.

Here the vicious cycle began again. You’d fight, make a fool of each other, and then run right back to each other. You slid right into his arms, holding onto him as tight as your hands could. This cycle was the only way you knew how to love. You had learned from your parents, seeing many situations such as the one that had just played out between you and Rafe.

What you noticed was that as you gripped him, he didn’t return the favor. He gently peeled your arms off of his body, then turning away and wiping his eyes.

“Look, Y/N, after the scene you caused tonight, I think we,” he paused. You knew exactly where this was going. You had thrown too big of a fit this time. “We need to take a break for a little, get ourselves on the right path, then possibly rejoin.”

“Rafe what the fuck, did you just recite that from a script?” he wouldn’t make eye contact with you, proving your theory correct.

“No, I just think it’s best for us, this way we can figure out what we’re doing before you leave in the fall.”

“Rafe, I leave the second week of May to start practices, we either fix this now, or end it now,” you whimpered, revealing another secret you hadn’t had time to tell anyone yet.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

It was the annual Christmas Party at the Country Club, and you were not looking forward to it. All the kook families were going to be there, including the Cameron’s. It wasn’t Ward, or Rose, or even Sarah that you were scared to see, it was Rafe. Ward wasn’t as upset as you thought he would be to find out you had ended things with his son, probably more focused on cleaning the reputation his son had picked up.

The preppy skirt and sweater combination you had on complemented your new body type, highlighting the now more developed muscles. One semester of collegiate sports had completely changed you. You finished pinning back your front pieces of hair and made your way to the living room where your family and your new boyfriend were waiting.

His name was Wilder Buchanon, a third year at Dartmouth, you had met over the summer as he was another fellow athlete. Your families adored one another, almost more than the two of you’s attraction to each other.

As you made your way into the venue, all eyes were on you once again. You were flooded with greetings from other kook kids, asking how New Hampshire was, about your studies, and most importantly the man standing next to you. Everything around was a blur when your eyes met Rafe’s from across the room.

He didn’t look the same. His eyes had dark circles around them, his shoulders were slightly hunched as if he was trying to hide. He overall just didn’t look well.

“Wilder, I’m going to go get something to drink, I’ll be right back,” he nodded in acknowledgement and removed his hand from your back.

Your feet carried you towards the former lover, and he instantly looked at you. He flashed a soft smile and took in your new appearance. Your y/h/c hair had grown long, you had put on muscle, not in a bad way.

“You look good kid,” he chuckled softly.

“How have you been doing Rafe?” There was a genuine tone to your voice.

“Better, I’m officially two months sober, and I’ll be going back to Chapel Hill in the spring,” he responded.

He didn’t expect you to envelope him in a hug, and tell him you were proud of him, but he accepted it greatly. Of course his smile softened when he met Wilder, but he was right. The two of you needed to work on yourselves as the relationship the two of you shared was unhealthy. He couldn’t be mad at Wilder for falling for such a wonderful girl like you.

“Go back to be with your boy,” he said softly. “Just remember kid, I’ll always be in your corner.” He moved your hair behind your ear, and sent you on your way.

#outer banks #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #obx #obx imagine #jj maybank #john b #kiara carrera #sarah obx #pope heyward

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