#my main thoughts rn are to make everything more complex
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4 + 14 + 23 + 27 + 34?!
4. How did you find the name for a certain character?
I have the same process pretty much all the time I feel bad bc this is such a fun question or it would be 😞 no ones named after anyone or like has their name chosen based on the meaning actively I just like look up names for the place and time period and pick whichever I think fit the character or I already have a name in mind when I make them. I’m like wondering if there were any exceptions. Oh I did want my character Adam’s name to sound like a pseudonym instead of a regular name right bc he’s an SCP agent type like mysterious or whatever. So I used a stage name generator to find out his last name (Adam I just liked how it sounded + the fact that it was biblical). I also like the last name King bc he is also in a position of authority over the other characters at times so it makes sense I guess.
14.Which OC/s do you relate to the most?
Kind of embarrassing to answer lol like this has to be at least a little personal. I like actively try to make OCs different from myself so I’m not just projecting onto them yk. Like that would be first of all embarrassing LMAO but second of all it it wouldn’t be very interesting to explore I feel like. In my opinion it’s better to start with something you can understand, but like have layers of complexity that you don’t relate to at all or whatever. I don’t really know. But to answer the question I think I relate to like the 3 main OCs of Rocio Angel and Cirillo the most :P maybe Lucia as well.
23. Have you ever seen something/someone that looks like one of your characters IRL? What was it like?
I actually haven’t that I can remember like not particularly. I have seen some people sometime where I was like ok I should draw a character’s hair or eyes or etc more like them. Like bc I was trying to draw them a certain way but wasn’t 100 sure how but I’d see someone who looked like them irl and I was like ok ok like that. Ofc Ive seen people with some shared traits, but no one who really looked exactly the same, no one where like I was like omg it’s like seeing them irl yk.
In terms of seeing people irl that remind me of them though like vibes wise what I have seen is people whose clothing really reminded me of like certain characters. Like not that they would actually wear the same thing because I don’t live in a fantasy world in the 1940s but like that remind me of their personality like that they would wear it yk. One time I was like walking around in a city and saw like 10 people with really nice outfits trying to memorize them all to write them down and draw ocs in them later. I ended up doing one of them but I didn’t like how it turned out 😔
27. What's the nicest thing someone has ever said about an OC/OCs?
This question is so embarrassing I have to admit I remember specific nice things people have said about OCs. I do remember specific nice things people have said though. It is hard to pick like 1 nicest thing. You saying Rocio had autism swag is up there. My irl cousin said a bunch of REALLY nice stuff a while ago she likes reading so it was nice to see her reaction. But like every time anyone has said anything like they like a character’s personality or design or storyline or anything it’s really nice I definitely appreciate it and I will remember it forever <3
34. What scene that you've written/imagined is your favorite?
That’s a good question. I literally don’t know at all. Bc I don’t have like all the details down for most of the scenes I’m thinking so all the ones I’ve like thought abt vividly just have a cool visual to go with them and that’s abt it. That makes it sound shallow it’s not that it’s just like I like the emotion of the scene and the idea behind it but not really any of the specifics you know. So I feel like if I tried to pick one it wouldn’t be like a nuanced pick it wouldn’t be like because it develops the character in this way yk it’d be like bc it’s the climactic scene where this character almost dies and it’s so cool or something like that. Does that even make sense.
Ok time to actually answer the question. I wish I had thought of more scenes that like show the dynamics between characters that I like bc my plan with that was to write it in wherever it felt intuitive yk. Like check up on the chastcters’ emotional states to see how they’re reacting to plot events. I just realized as writing this I think I want to have Tiago live for longer. Ok ignore that thats not important ummm I think the only scene I’ve really thought much about along those lines is the one where Cirillo and Laura meet again after a long time. I like the conflict there I like the characters a lot and I think it has the potential to be a very satisfying scene <3. Also maybe like denouement stuff where Rocio is like hi getting back from thr underworld was so annoying anyway sorry for almost ruining your lives and getting you killed. As you can see I haven’t really developed that part of the story yet but I think it’d be cool to see as well
#Im going to have to change Gawain’s name#because I have an active investment in like the knight of the round table gawain now 😞#<Im not actually going to#also this reminded me I need to start putting my art into a folder#I always have to re export them from procreate I can never find the ones I need 😭#also I might write something with Rocio and Yiming of all people lol#I think it’d be an interesting change of pace#also also maybe develop the plot line with the assassins in a little more depth?#my main thoughts rn are to make everything more complex#+ just have there be more going on#Lucia and Joanna subplot as well esp since it’s been like revamped#I like it though I think it gives Lucia more to do#only problem is figuring out her character development 😔#well whatever I’ll get to it for sure#wow thats a lot ok anyway thanks again for sending this in :)#my ocs
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your art looks incredible!!!!! i am SO SO SO curious about peklo, can you tell us more about it? :>
gonna answer these 2 together ૮ • ﻌ - ა
peklo is a project that started with this small prototype i made for a gamejam https://sukinapan.itch.io/peklo (it's in spanish only though). you're trapped in a weird virtual city named peklo, from which no one is allowed to leave. you talk to others there and find there's some sort of entity called guppy that you can appeal to to be let out, but no one knows how.
it was inspired by a similar nightmare i had, where the name of the city was a mixture between "garden" and "hell", so i understood it to be some sort of afterlife limbo. for the game i called the city peklo because it means hell (in slovak) but it also sounds misleadingly cute to my spanish speaking ears. this was where i started experimenting more with photo backgrounds and sad low poly bunnies.
i'd been wanting to expand on this small prototype for a while, and my friends from my studio, smarto club, thought it was a good idea so we decided to develop it together under my direction. the gamejam version was a point and click because that's all i could manage back then, but this bigger version would be a 3D exploration world. i also made a protagonist for it which is this cat named kiku that i've been making a lot of art of.
i've already made some assets and a full script for a first demo of the game, but we haven't started official work on it. on one hand, we've been busy with bubblegum galaxy which is our main studio project rn, but we've also realized we may still lack the experience to make the game as complex as i'd like with our current programmer moving abroad. so what we're doing is a shorter, simpler 3D project first so that us artists in the team can become more independent. i think this may be the art the 2nd anon was asking about:
we haven't named it yet, but this will be a short game about a girl catching angels :)
i can't say i wasn't sad about not making the peklo demo right away, but i'm still excited for this project so i'm gonna give it my best and try to learn everything i need.
thanks for the asks! <3
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also 🔥 for mary
this turned into mostly a rant about the fandom and how they ignore my fav girl sjjsjsjs
funnily enough i used to dislike mary. or maybe dislike is a strong word. i just found myself so apathetic to her bc guess what guys??? she has no real character outside of particular aesthetics and ships. and then she wiped her memory so it's not like it's important what or who she was anyway. but she's also literally my favorite character rn (right next to sirius) soooo... this is what happens when you sit down and explore characters by yourself instead of letting fanon guide you through everything.
the thing with mary is that she doesn't exist really. not as a character with real personality traits anyway. she's mentioned as lily's friend which most likely puts her in gryffindor and we know she was a muggleborn because mulciber attacked her and... that's about it. you can't really expect anything better when the harry potter books barely gave any of the main women characteristics outside of motherhood, let alone some random character mention twice. BUT THAT'S THE FUN PART! we could've had so much fun with mary bc she's literally just a name and we could've made her anything and yet she's absolutely nothing bc MISOGYNY YAYY!
she used to be overly sexualized and slutshamed in fics and now she's just... boring. she's the accessory we can add onto lily to make sure she isn't left alone so our mlm ship can happen!! she's an obstacle that stands between sirius and remus getting together!! and she's given nothing outside of that. this fandom has written and rewritten stories for the same old boring men a million times and yet one of the main characters isn't given any story at all?? what was her family life like?? did she have any siblings?? who was her first crush?? how did her status as woc affect her life at hogwarts?? and being a muggleborn?? was she good in school?? what career path did she want to go down?? why didn't she join the order like all of her other friends did??? how did mulciber literally assaulting her affect her??? nah that's boring let's rewrite wolfstar one more time
it may look like you're working with nothing but you're really not. if she's sorted into gryffindor she must've had their defining traits. she didn't back out of the wizarding war because she was a coward. it must've been something else. if she was lily's friend she must've been similar to her in some way. they must've shared experiences of what it was like being a muggleborn in an environment that literally wanted you dead. why did mulciber attack her in particular? was she quiet and timid and he thought she would be the perfect target? or was she opinionated and loud and mulciber wanted to scare it out of her? it's not much but we've created more out of less
mary literally isn't allowed to exist outside of men and ships. even then it's the male gaze lesbianism of going on a picnic, braiding each other's hair, whatever. can she not be a complex character?? why not?? even when we are writing her in slash fanfics why can she not have any personal issues to sort through?? if you don't care about her just say it??? it's obvious when someone includes her in content bc they just feel bad (she's become peter 2.0 tbh) and don't want anyone hating bc she's not included in a particular post. don't half ass her character bc you're scared of backlash. it's not misogynistic to just not be interested in a character (though it's important to unpack why you would get bored by a character most see as a woc yet be interested in a death eater man despite having the same amount of information on both of them). don't get me started on people who ship her with peter so they can tie everything in a nice little bow and it's all perfect. literally shut up.
anyway mary is beautiful and smart and the it girl of hogwarts. she taught all the other girls how to do their make up because her older sister taught her and she always dressed up for hogsmeade trips even though her friends made fun of her for putting in so much effort. she uses cherry scented everything because she loves the way it smells and she twirls her hair and blows bubbles with her gum. she winks at guys who stare at her to get free drinks and she's never looking for a fight but she'll pull on anyone's hair if they provoke her enough. she didn't understand why lily made such a big deal about james asking her out and rejecting him when he's literally a fit guy who seems nice enough?? maybe she didn't understand how someone could reject a real relationship when given the chance to have one because none of the guys cared enough to look at her like that.
it's late and i'm tired and i can't elaborate further bc i don't even know what i'm saying but expect more mary posts in the future bc she is my darling <33
#expect mary macdonald headcanons soon i am writing them as we speak#hot take i actually ship mary and sirius together#like i always hc them as dating and it was like platonic before#yknow teenagers working their feelings out#now i fully believe they liked each other romantically and loved each other platonically#it was never gonna last but they're adorable <3#also her and james??? power couple me thinks#hating hours 🔥#mary macdonald#marauders era#the valkyries
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Hiii Angie just curious is there a common fan interpretation of any of your enstars faves you really dislike
HIIIIIII oh man. I am such a pedantic nitpicky person when it comes to enstars that I dislike basically everything anyone except for a small group of carefully chosen friends and mutuals have said about my favorite characters. It's really tragicomic how bad online fans are at reading any text that demands beyond surface-level engagement, thinking and compassion. I too am a literature major and i WILL act pretentious about this! By the way i blame the trend of editing characters over Tumblr text posts for 50%+ of fandom misconceptions and it needs to die.
I think i want to talk about izumi and Leo today, because i already talked a lot about wataei in the essay i posted a few days ago, and shunazu ....i shan't get into that mess today. So..let's start with perhaps THE most foolishly and strangely misinterpreted guy in all of enstars. Leo.
Leo, together with Mika, forms the most kinned duo in the enstars fandom, which means hundreds of poor weirdos project all kinds of things onto him to hell and back, and at the same time, strip him of all of his actually interesting and unique qualities. They do, i guess, see his two main surface level qualities - being insanely good at and obsessed with his artistry, and being very scatterbrained and erratic - and somehow their little minds have turned him into some weird dumbass that can't even lead a proper conversation. No - literally, I've read Leo centric fics where he talks like a literal seven-year-old, and can't get through two sentences without yelling ucchuu, inspiration! While Leo does have a tendency to lose his train of thought, he is like. Very verbose and observant. He is, in fact, the second character after eichi who comes to mind when i think of long, heavy monologues in enstars. I just end up being like, have you ever heard Leo talking? He uses extensive and developed metaphors, he describes his own feelings and his personal mental desolation with great insight and emotion. And above all, he is able to pinpoint the exact weakness of his conversation partners, even those he isn't intimately acquainted with, and use it against them. Like. Leo can be incredibly sharp and sober, and he can be incredibly mean with the right aim. I also wish people saw his deep anguish and suicidal ideation as more than something relatable or meme-able - because Leo's story is one of death and rebirth, of the highest and purest form of salvation and of complex relationships in which both love and hurt eternally coexist. It also bothers me that people can't seem to understand that Leo knew izumi had always loved him . He knew since very early on. But he also knew that izumi wouldn't choose him over affirming his own self importance. Which was true, and makes it all the more painful. Then there's also a fact that Leo consciously sent people into their deaths in the war, not only for izumi but also FOR MONEY AND FAME but let's not get into that rn, the point is that he's Not that innocent either. A minor thing that pisses me off is how lots of enstars fans in izuleo spaces tend to make Leo find of throwing around innuendos and sex jokes when Leo straight up says that he hates sex jokes and boys ' talks. Like he just would not say that . All in all he's not your funny depression artist 69420 man he is a tortured soul who just barely evaded eternal danmation in the hell that is being misunderstood, unseen and used by the people closest to you and reached the paradise that is, even if it's just for a moment, being lovingly embraced for all that he is.
The thing people always miss about izumi is that he is a very unreliable narrator of Leo's story. The poor dear was so shaken by the realization that his beloved idiot is more lion than lamb that he deluded himself into thinking that making him like that is HIS FAULT AND HE RUINED THE INNOCENT LEO!! even though....Leo acted consciously for himself, as we affirmed earlier. All in all, izuleo is a sad relationship of two people who both thing they corrupted the other to the bone marrow, while they're actually both trying to make the other into their perfect shape and love it. But yeah that delusional, self deprecating manipulation of the readers' expectations on Leo is partly to blame for people misinterpreting Leo too, i think. Because izumi would rather you think Leo is stupid than a bad person, and most of the "truths" you get fed about Leo are spoken through him. Oh Izumi and Leo, how wonderful and yet horrible, so much more wonderful and more horrible than people think
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5, 11, 12, 13, I don’t think I asked those last time? Do your worst! 😈
5. worst discord server and why?
okay so i used to have a bnha server a few years back. i put up with too much disrespect from people who weren't even that nice to me lol AND one of them literally made an awful threat about mass murder in a walmart so that was...super.
part of why i left the bnha fandom was that server. i had let literally any one in so that's my bad, now i vet people
11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered
i've blocked two very VERYYYY popular ship names cause if i see them on my dash it makes me annoyed.
12.the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
So many people hate Elena and most of the time it's never because of real reasons. They'll shit on her for being 'annoying' or 'selfish' when she's literally a depressed teenager who is passively suicidal until later in the show. She's gloomy and not as expressive as say, Caroline, and instead of appreciating her for what she does offer, people put the girls against each other.
She is the main character of the show, because everything actually revolved around her for many seasons. Her blood, her love, her body, etc were desired by those around her and MADE her the center of attention. She didn't ask for it. She didn't want it. She's someone forced to grow up way too fast (she shouldn't have been in charge of Jeremy, Jenna should have, but Jenna sucked at it.) and when she inevitably fails, they crucify her for it.
Or, my least favorite, are people who worship the brothers that love her and hate her for hurting them. Firstly, why are they the center of the relationship? Why is the man babied and the literal teenager demonized? Embarrassing. Oh, it's worse when they love a ship with her in it but hate her by herself.
You are battling with a fictional teenager over a man who is also fictional. Stop centering men in your life lol seek therapy
Secondly, NONE of those characters were free of wrong doing. Each one of them has said something fucked up or selfish or wrong. I'm going to drop it there because if I said my full thoughts this will go on longer and nobody is here for that rn lol
13. worst blorbofication
oh my GOD. I love Klaus and Elijah, but they are uwuified. Once again by people who want to shame the women in their lives for stupid reasons. Klaus gets in his own way and ruins a lot of the good things in his life with his own two hands. I like that about him. We have all been there. DON'T sit there and go 'oh poor him he's never done anything wrong!!!' or 'his feelings were hurt :(' yeah well his feelings are often hurt and he hurts them himself half the time so...
Klaus is a paranoid, possessive, megalomaniac with both an inferiority and superiority complex and he takes it out on everyone around him.
Elijah might be worse actually. Some people act like he's better than Klaus. I think he's worse in some aspects. Klaus is upfront about his violence, Elijah is quieter. He's sneakier and hides behind his words and likes little games. He may be noble in comparison to his siblings, but he is not really that noble.
Elijah is the snake in the grass who bites you when you least expect it. Not all that he does is in the name of family. He's also so hellbent on his brother's redemption that he is willing to let the rest of the world, including their other siblings, suffer for this idea of absolution for the guilt he carries.
They both are vampires. They are over 1000 years old. Their humanity, their morals- both have decayed over time. Vampires are predatory by nature. They are the scorpions to the humans frog, they will kill/hurt because it is in their nature.
Also, I don't think they are the protagonists to The Originals. But that's another post.
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caught myself going into a rant in tags so why don’t i just make a post and go wild
reblogged a post abt good gift ideas and they mentioned cd’s and i’m getting a cd player this christmas which i’m really happy abt!!! i have like four cd’s rn but i should ask for a thing of blank ones. i don’t know how to put stuff on them but i swear i will fucking learn
physical stuff my beloved <333. im on my phone way to fuckin much so just move stuff i do on phone off of phone. i’m genius
read somewhere that you should get off your phone like an hr before going to bed but i’m usually reading fanfics then so i was thinking abt printing out fanfics.
main problem i see with that is formatting. i don’t want a printer paper per page, just smthn like half of one. but if you print double sided pages it doesn’t really line up
front side being red and back side being blue (those first two should be landscape not portrait but i don’t feel like going back n changing it :p. so if you print it like that and fold it hamburger style it just ends up being read/formatted like half of back page, all of front page, then other half of back page)
it goes kinda like that and idk the best way to get around it.
i could digitally format it in google docs so that the back,front,front,back turns out how i want but if i need to edit anything then the entire formatting would be fucked and it’d be really confusing jumping back n forth so i’d prolly get confused and print it wrong
i could make it so just one half of the front and one half of the back is printed then cut the bottom part off but that’d be wasting so much paper
and i don’t think i can just have it printed anywhere bc that’d be copyright infringement right? i mean im not selling them, they’d just be for personal use but idk
and i don’t wanna hand write them if i can avoid it. one fic i’ve been trying to figure out how to print is 60 pages long in google docs, two columns, 11pt arial, 1.15 spacing, landscape orientation. i’d lose my hand before i finished that shit.
idk but i have the whole winter break to figure it out so hopefully i find or come up with something.
kinda going back to the present list post, i think a toolkit is a really good idea! my stepmom got me one for last christmas (at least i think it was) and i fuckin love it.
i really wish i was taught how to use tools growing up i know jack shit. like i think i know how to use like half of the stuff in the kit theoretically but *i want to know all of it*
in my criminology class it was mentioned in a lecture that people with low self control prefer physical tasks over mental ones. i don’t have good self control that isn’t a surprise and i fucking LOVE to work with my hands when i get the chance.
(i was thinking, ppl with adhd usually have low self control (i know bc i have it skdhdj), could that be a reason we like physical tasks? food for thought)
i’m checking out of my dorm soon and we have to take everything out of our bathrooms (literally fucking everything) so i had to dismantle a tension rod soap rack holder and part of a little over the toilet cabinet. it’s dumb that we had to do that but holy shit the happy i got from doing the tasks. i had to unscrew four nails (real complex shit, i know) but i really liked doing it! like there was physical proof that i did that!!! holy fuck!!! i don’t get near that happy doing good on tests
idk just something about being able to do that was really validating to me. and i got to use my toolkit again!!
i asked my dad and stepmom if they could help teach me more &/or get more experience w tools n shit and they said yes! they built like half the furniture in their house so they know their shit. and they also said they’d help me learn how to cook more!
i love my mom and stepdad so fuckin much and couldn’t imagine growing up without them. but man did they not teach me many life skills :// what i did learn is what i actively asked about as i got older
my siblings on my dad’s side are just so much better prepared than me or my sister on my mom’s side that i live with. ngl i’m kinda jealous of them for that lol
like ~half a month ago during thanksgiving break my grandpa taught me how to check my oil and windshield fluid in my car and they’re such tiny details but i loved learning about those
headed down to stay w him tomorrow, think i may do a bit of info gathering and ask about things
hmmm…. i… am going to finish the rest of this in google docs holy fuck i should start a journal again but is that actual me or the adhd meds talking
#tldr physical shit good as fUCK#rlly want more physical pictures to put in my album#man brain really went flip flop#rant#ostrimch
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in the hypothetical supernatural revival there's only a few ways i would accept dean and cas reunion and consequences going. the main issue is that it would be tricky for cas and dean to reciprocate their feelings and REAL DESTIEL ROMANTIC REUNION/REALIZATION on screen in 202x because that would get such a huge tension resolved and then you would just really need to be invested in the plot and it's just jucier if you drag it out. ANYWAYS HERE WE GO:
hypothetical 1: the revival is all about rescuing cas from the empty
dean keeps hallucinating cas popping up a la purgatory a la sam and jess etc. or he's seeing him in dreams! or both! HE CANNOT TELL WHAT IS REALITY. what's a dream and what's being awake? what's a hallucination and what's cas trying to send a message from the empty? and because this is cw supernatural, it's gonna be super cheesy. so not only is dean continually seeing this real/notreal cas, cas's reaction to him is always tricky! maybe he is affectionate and loving and all that he never got to be with dean. maybe he is completely normal, status quo as it was before. maybe he is angry at dean for killing him (dean pov). maybe it changes with the occasion dean sees cas and maybe it changes DURING the occasion. you never know!
parallel this with cas seeing dean in a similar way in the empty. again, just the theme of WHAT IS REALITY. fun because of chuck reasons. is he really dead? where's jack? could vary based on how you want it to play out for the show. and maybe dean and cas DO have moments where they really see the other, and that's confusing it even more, because there's also fake moments. and dean is adament in finding cas and believing he's alive and the whole season is him trying to get cas and free him from the empty. drama filler etc etc and it works! and it ends on some better resolution about chuck (at some point) and a destiel reunion. no subtext or subtlety. coconuts colliding with tongue. and then leave the ending OPEN that's the WHOLE POINT! THE STORY IS OVER, WE DON'T GET TO SEE HOW IT ENDS BECAUSE THEY GET TO DECIDE!
hypothetical 2: they rescue cas early on and clear destiel reunion
again, no subtlety they are full on making out. tears snot probably blood. cas breaks dean's nose. you know the deal.
and then let's say the overall plot of the season is to deal with did they really beat chuck? or something tying up loose ends like that. not my main focus here.
anyways, we have destiel reunion and then they are trying to navigate a romantic relationship when they could barely navigate a friendship (just thinking of all their fights and miscommunication and each of them doing what they think is the right thing and devaluing themselves and it all making a WHOLE mess. divorce arc etc). so there's a lot of conflict there but it's funny and then somehow it all resolves peacefully and good.
hypothetical 3: SOMEBODY'S memory is messed up
if it's cas, say cas's memory of a lot of stuff is gone after the empty. so they're trying to get it back, or at least sam is. and dean is (sad) against that. sam thinks it's better to know than just start fresh like that (i think that's consistent with his character at that point but im not putting much thought into this all rn) and dean is of course thinking if cas loses his memory, he doesn't remember loving dean and everything horrible that happened. so dean is torn between pushing cas away (away from himself, who is obviously poisonous to cas in dean pov) while also obvoiusly really really wanting cas near and maybe dean doesn't have the heart to be mean to cas right now. and cas doesn't remember anything but he likes dean and he wants to figure out what happened. and yada yada yada this is getting really embarassingly cheesy but cas falls in love with dean AGAIN and maybe this is the key to getting his memories back? or it coincides somehow? and then cas still loves dean in the end and we get a lot of fun angst and also loving cas and complex emotions in there. idk. this might be more appropriate in fanfic form tbh
if it's dean, it's more like the purgatory arc where dean has altered his own memory of cas leaving, he doesn't hear cas say "i love you" and so when cas comes back he perceives dean's lack of response to the love confession as a kind of rejection. and of course happiness isn't in the being it's also in the having. so cas is sad about this and kind of it's causing conflict ebcause dean isnt' even ACKNOWLEDGING IT (because he doesn't remember it) and it builds and builds and then maybe dean is somehow even more explicitly on screen in love with cas and it's kind of back to the original dynamic but there's way more tension because cas is getting mixed signals and then it explodes into confession again and yay destiel.
this one is a lot more fanfic tropey i think and im also getting sleepier by the minute thinking of this but yeah. there's that!
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Hey, can I please ask you for an opinion on chicken care since you know a lot about birds in general? I have two flocks, one with two hens and a rooster and one with 22 hens and a rooster. They were originally separated due to age difference but then we ended up with a rooster in each so it worked out. The small flock is doing wonderful despite the size, rooster doesn’t overmate or anything. The larger flock is concerning. The past few months they’ve developed a problem with plucking each others feathers. At first we thought it was boredom so we provided more toys and treat toys, expanded the run, and decided to let them free-range more often. We contacted our local avian veterinarian and he told us that everything looked fine, but the feather picking continued. I considered that maybe it was pecking order because the lowest hens on the totem pole have larger bald spots, but now they’ve plucked out the poor roosters tail feathers! They’re not eating them and they have access to oyster shell at all times, so I don’t understand how it could be calcium related. It’s…just for fun, or something? Unfortunately our vet is a new vet, and while he knows about a chicken’s physical needs he doesn’t feel as confident with behavior, so he’s not sure what to do other than remove some hens from the flock somehow (he is going to contact some of his more experienced colleagues for us though). Our main options rn are to either make a third coop/run and split the larger flock in half, which is very expensive, or to try and move some of the hens from the larger flock into the smaller one. The problem with that is that the smaller flock has a jersey giant hen that’s pretty disdainful of any hen she’s not related to and she’d definitely try to beat up the other hens. What would you do in this situation, either in general or just until the vet gets back to us?
This is a complex situation that I would probably have to pass on to a chicken blog. It does seem like it could be a crowding issue, but solutions for chicken disputes are out of my jurisdiction. I will say that if you can narrow down which hens are the most aggressive in the larger flock that might determine who needs to be shifted out. I do also know that hens are much like cats in that they can be slowly introduced to each other non-violently if allowed to evaluate one another for a time through a barrier that protects them but allows them to see the other.
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Blooming Pt. 1
Pairings: Jisung x Reader, ft. nct dream, lucas (honorary member of dream)
Words: 7.5K
Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), angst, fluff
Synopsis:
Love isn’t as easy as it seems, Park Jisung is an advocate of that. A blooming relationship that has prematurely ceased can be re-sparked years later, or can it? Will Jisung be able to overcome his fears in order to succeed in what he deems love?
Part 1 | Part 2
Freshman Yr.
Hey Jisung,
I know that this is kinda random and I only have the guts to do this now because I probably won’t see you again but here goes. I think you are a really sweet and cool guy and I wish I had gotten to know you better, probably because I had a big crush on you... I just thought I would send this to you because I know it’s nice to know and it’s probably a little bit of a confidence booster. (I also kinda wanted to get this off my chest). Sorry for the essay and you don’t have to respond to this if it’s awkward … I hope you stay safe especially with what’s going on right now
You held your breath, panicking at the loading sign on your phone. Welp, it was too late now.
You were pacing back and forth in your living room, nail very much in your mouth as you bit them anxiously.
“I just sent it.” You breathed out, “Oh my god, I just sent it.” At this point you were nearly in tears you were so nervous.
“That’s good. It’s like one a.m. though, so don’t be too worried if he doesn’t answer right away.” You nodded into the receiver, and although your best friend couldn’t see you, she still understood your silence.
You had called your best friend earlier to ask for her advice about the guy you had told her about months ago. It was the last quarter of school for this year and you finally had the courage to confess to him.
Your best friend Megan was a little bit more experienced than you and she laughed when you had told her you wrote drafts, and you promptly sent it to her.
“He’s not writing back.” You told her, staring intently at the screen, refreshing it every few seconds as if that would make him answer.
“Well of course not, you literally sent it ten seconds ago. Besides I told you, it’s late, he might just reply in the morning.” She sighed at your panicked state.
“Oh my god! He read it.” You bit your lip, staring at the numbers below your text.
“Oh.” She giggled, “Cute, he has read receipts on like you.”
You barely had time to comprehend what she had said when you gasped out, “Oh my god. He’s typing, he’s typing! There’s bubbles.”
She laughed, “Wow, that was fast.”
You weren’t exactly paying attention to her, focused very much on the bubbles that were still there. Then suddenly they stopped.
“They stopped.” You felt the need to relay everything to her.
“That’s fine, he’s probably just reading over it.” You nodded, trying to convince yourself. But you couldn’t because nothing ever came. It was almost 25 minutes later that you heard the familiar ding of your phone.
Hey Y/N! thanks for letting me know, it really is not easy but rip coronavirus really is kinda messing with everything. i think you’re a really nice person and if circumstances would have allowed, i would have wanted to get to know you more too. everything is kinda hectic rn and i wish you the besttt and stay safe too!!
Immediately you called Megan again. “It doesn’t look good…Listen to what he said.” You read the text, heart dropping with every word you read.
“What are you talking about? That’s a good thing. Y/N he said he wants to get to know you better too. That’s sweet. I think he’s just keeping it open though, cause there’s not much you guys can do anyways.”
“Yeah.” You tried to not let out how dejected you were, but it was clear to her.
“Hey don’t worry about it. If he doesn’t like you then he’s not worth worrying over.”
“Right.” You pouted despite what she said making sense. “Look I’ll call you later, I’ve got to go now.”
“Okay, Y/N, don’t stress too much about it, okay?”
You hummed back, mumbling out your goodbyes.
The moment you hung up, you threw your phone on the bed, falling next to it. You sighed, trying not to overthink everything.
That’s why you confessed now, so that if you were so badly rejected, you wouldn’t have to see him again. Right?
You groaned, closing your eyes, hoping that sleep would make you feel better. Or perhaps you would wake up and find that this was all a dream.
You woke up and of course with habit, the first thing you did was look over at your phone. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, grinning at the screen.
You weren’t thrilled that it was in reality a dream, but on the other hand things had become very real very fast.
NOTIFICATION
Park Jisung 5:18 a.m.
oh, are you still going back to school next year?
You smiled at the text, heart immediately choosing to beat faster than you would’ve liked. With a glance at the clock you realized it was 8:07 a.m. and you couldn’t stop yourself from replying the moment you saw it.
yeah, i’m planning on living off campus tho… are you gonna live off campus too?
You panicked, staring at the screen, knowing damn well that he wasn’t about to reply at 8 in the morning. You had to restrain yourself from calling your best friend that very moment, you were in a happy mood and waking her up would not keep that.
The entire day you were buzzing, constantly checking your phone for new notifications. For the first time you understood what phantom texts felt like. Every couple of minutes you were sure that you felt a text, but alas it was your imagination.
It wasn’t until 4 p.m. when a real text came through, ringing loud and clear. You had turned your ringer on and off, making sure that it was working just in case.
yup! I’ll be living by the shopping complex in downtown. how about you?
Restraint was not easy for you, and you replied after a few moments passed. Megan had constantly told you to let at least a few minutes pass, but you couldn’t help it. Besides, read receipts were not in your favor.
Conversation seemed to come really easy to you, and after an hour of texting non stop he said he had one more final to take.
You understood and immediately felt bad, realizing that you had taken up precious study time for him. You wished him good luck and spent the rest of the night relaying every detail to Megan over the phone.
Little did you know that that conversation would be the last for a long time.
3 months later
It was time for a break. And what better way was there than a small kickback with your best friends after midterms?
“I brought the good stuff.” You were startled, laying on the daybed of your other friend, Camille’s room. It was the perfect spot for a kickback. A couple hundred feet from the main house, and completely stocked with all that you needed.
You sat up glancing at the armfuls of alcohol Megan had snagged, don’t ask how she got it.
You giggled at the thought, watching as Camille helped unload. “Let the games begin.”
“Truth or Dare Y/N?” You groaned, turning away from the both of them.
“You know I hate this game.”
Megan didn’t let up. “Camille has a pond.”
That was enough information for you. You took a glance out the window, noting that it was freezing outside. You were not taking a chance on her intentions. “Truth.”
“Boring.” She sang, but nevertheless had a question set. “Have you talked to that boy since the last time you called me about him?”
You grumbled to yourself, taking a shot and grimacing. “No.”
“Why not?” Camille asked, reaching for the bottle still in your hand.
You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know, I’m too much of a coward to text him now. But he could text me first too you know. Especially cause I took the first jump. It’s probably because he doesn’t like me.”
You sighed, staring at the bottle again, tempted to take another shot.
“I’m sure that’s not the case.” You missed the look Megan shot Camille, already coming up with a new idea.
In the end you caved, choosing that perhaps another shot could bring you happiness. But it just burned your throat.
“Megan truth or dare?”
“Dare, duh.” You watched the proud look on her face.
“I dare you to… snapchat that dude that sent dick pics to fuck off.” Camille said, watching Megan’s face contort into delight.
“Hell yeah! It would be my pleasure.” She giggled, and you noticed that she was feeling the alcohol as well.
You felt the need to roll your eyes again.
“Done. And blocked.” She tossed her phone in the middle of the group with satisfaction.
“I don’t know why you just didn’t block him right after he sent them.” You commented, chewing on a gummy worm.
She just shrugged, “I don’t know, it was kind of fun I guess. Anyways. Camille, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Do you really only see Carson as a friend?” Camille sputtered at the question, spitting out a bit of juice.
“No, I see him as a brother. That’s disgusting, besides he’s dating Bailee.” She shook her head, working to clean up the mess.
“Doesn’t mean you can’t like him.” Megan muttered, before dropping it and turning back to you.
“Y/N truth or dare?”
“Truth.” You mumbled out, not really paying attention.
“Come on, do at least one dare. It’s not fun if you only answer truth.” She whined, pushing another cup of jungle juice towards you.
You hesitantly sniffed the cup before taking a sip. A moment of silence passed as they waited for you. You let out a deep sigh, “Fine, dare. What do you want?”
“I dare you to text him.”
You froze, you knew that’s what she was going to say, but you were so out of it that you let it slide.
“You know I can’t do that.” You answered, wide eyed.
“It’s a dare.” Megan nodded at the window, insinuating the punishment.
“No, I really can’t. I’ll give you my phone though, but I can’t do it.” You dug the phone out of your backpack and tossed it next to hers, which she grabbed immediately typing in your password that she had memorized.
“Deal. I’ll just start it, then you can keep the conversation going.” You waved her off, choosing to drown yourself in as much alcohol as you could in hopes of forgetting that this happened tomorrow morning.
“Done. I just sent hey, with like three y’s and a smiley face. Not the emoji though.” Your mouth dropped at her.
“That’s so not me though. You know I use emojis, and I don’t do the all, heyyyy thing. He’s gonna know.” She just shrugged, sliding the phone back to you.
You sighed, staring at the empty screen, the other two returning to the game.
But it was three minutes later when your phone dinged, a text from Jisung lighting up your screen.
“Is that him?” Camille asked, peeking over at the screen.
“Yeah. I don’t wanna read it though, you do it.” You pushed it away, pulling your knees into your chest.
“I got you.” Megan paused. “See. Guys like the hey thing. He did it back, I don’t know what you were talking about, he’s totally into you.”
You grinned, crawling forward to see for yourself. The phone dinged again seconds later.
“Ooh, that’s hot. I like it when a guy texts in multiple bubbles, it shows they just text you what they think. They’re not planning it out or anything.” Megan commented, already typing in a response for you.
You watched over her shoulder, glancing at Camille who was doing the same.
“Is this good?” You just nodded back, sitting back on your heels to take a break.
“Oh, wow. That was fast. He texted back.” Although she sounded impressed, she frowned at the text.
“What? What is it?” You asked, panicking at her expression.
“Nothing. He’s just… dry. Was he always a dry texter?” She asked, handing the phone back to you.
“No? I don’t know, I didn’t think he was dry, we texted for like an hour straight that one time.” You mumbled, looking at the phone disappointed.
“Well he seems pretty dry to me. Maybe you should text him, maybe you were right, my texting was too different from yours.” You bit your lip and nodded, trying to come up with a response to him.
You didn’t know if it was because you were drunk, or that he could tell you were drunk, but while the conversation did get slightly better, he seemed dry to you as well. It was after twenty minutes of texting that you couldn’t keep the conversation any longer. You became frustrated at the dwindling conversation.
You had chosen to contact him again after three months of ghosting each other, and now he was making it difficult to carry a conversation. Maybe he really doesn’t like you. You felt your face heat up in embarrassment. Fine, you thought, you weren’t reaching out anymore. You didn’t want to be seen as pathetic, you could catch a hint. He just didn’t like you and was being nice. If he did actually like you, he could reach out to you.
This didn’t stop you from thinking about him for the month following the drunken incident.
2 years later
Junior Yr.
“I swear if you’re late for this one too, I’m not setting you up on anymore blind dates!” You winced at the sound of your roommate cursing at you.
“I’m going!” You yelled back, slipping out the front door before she had a chance to attack you again.
You managed to close door without hearing what ever else she had in store for you.
Your keys jangled as you quickly tried to lock the bright red door, giving it one last tug of reassurance when you turned on your heel to find your car.
“Oof!” A body collided with yours, you were partially, well mostly at fault.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I should’ve paid more attention. It’s just, I was in a bit of a rush…” You trailed off, finally getting a good look at the other person’s face. “Jisung?”
He simply stared back with a blank look on his face, mouth hung slightly open. “Y/N?”
You hated how your heart quickened at the sound of your name from his lips.
“I-I… wow…” You stuttered out, not quite able to act as natural as you had hoped. “Do you live here?”
“Uh… yeah, I live next door.” He pointed to your left, and when you followed his finger sure enough it was right next to your apartment. You missed the way that he looked you up and down, gulping at the sight of you in years.
“Oh. Wow, what a coincidence, I guess.” You laughed out nervously, hands playing with your lanyard.
“Yeah.” He nodded back, not really making eye contact. Not that you were trying either.
“Well…”
“Yeah.”
There was an awkward silence between you two, and you cleared your throat to break some tension.
“I was actually on my way out, so… I’ve got to get going. But I’ll see you around.” You put on a fake smile that didn’t really reach your eyes, and shot him a wave before rushing off to your car. Once under the safety of your car, you sighed and tried to discreetly glance at the boy you hadn’t seen or thought of in years.
You shook your head, starting the ignition. It’s time to forget him, you told yourself, besides I’ve got a date waiting for me right now.
It wasn’t until Jisung was positive you could no longer see him, having driven off minutes ago, that he threw his head back and let out the deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. The blush he had been so desperately holding out finally came over his face, as he felt the heat burn his ears.
He had just begun to forget about you, from time to time, pausing over your conversation stream. Although it was torture, every once in a while he would read back all the texts, hating the way that they abruptly stopped. On occasion, mostly when he was drunk, but there were times when he was sober, he would even type out a text but fail to send it.
Jisung was never the outgoing type, he envied those who were. Those that could just strike up a conversation and carry on like it was second nature. But it was hard for Jisung. It took work and energy, and sometimes he didn’t have that. It was stressful and scary to Jisung.
It was a godsend when you reached out to him years ago, claiming so boldly your feelings for him. He wasn’t going to admit it, but then he had asked for his friends help in responding. It was Mark’s wishy-washy personality that had unbeknowingly sent your mind in circles that night.
It was Haechan’s straight-forward nature that had forced him to text you at 5 a.m. the next morning. He was tired of hearing about Jisung’s concerns as to why you didn’t reply earlier, complaining that if he was that worried just text her.
So he did.
And it worked.
It worked so well. That hour he had spent texting you had butterflies dancing in his belly. He had never felt happier or more connected than at that moment. It wasn’t until his alarm rang, notifying him that he had five minutes until his last final did he stop smiling.
He was more than disappointed when nothing came out of the conversation. Of course he knew that it wasn’t just your fault, after all he had a phone, he could text you too.
And he tried, he really did. Multiple times. But every text he drafted was soon deleted and so the conversation ran dry. That was until three months later, May 16th.
But you always seemed to catch him at a bad time. It was Saturday, but his professor had given him an extension on his paper and it was due at midnight.
Your first text came at 10:58 p.m.
It took all he had not to answer the text, and eventually he did cave. But as much as he wanted to focus on you he couldn’t, after all he had begged his professor to extend his deadline, he had to finish this.
Maybe that’s why this time you didn’t seem so responsive. Maybe that’s why this time it only took twenty minutes for the conversation to end.
Maybe that’s why, after it took him forty-five minutes to respond to your last text, you left him on read.
“What’s with the long face dude?” His best friend, and housemate asked, slapping his back passive-aggressively.
“Nothing. And I don’t have a long face.” He pushed back, shoving him softly out of the way.
“Who was that? At the front door?” Jaemin asked, shoving a cookie into his mouth.
“No one, just someone I knew.” Jisung muttered back, reaching out to steal one from the jar.
“Just someone I knew.” Chenle mocked back, leaning against the wall of the kitchen. “Right. We all could see the look on your face, that’s not just someone you knew.”
Jisung shrugged. “She was a girl I was texting.” He tried to pull it off nonchalantly, but it was evident to his housemates that it wasn’t nothing.
“Shit. Was that that girl you were talking to freshman year? The one you were head over heels for?” Jeno asked, grabbing a seat on a barstool, his laptop tightly in his grip. It was obvious he was working on something.
“Y/N?”Jaemin asked around the crumbs that filled his mouth.
“Ew. Gross. Have some manners dude.” Renjun said shoving Jaemin off the counter where he was perched, “And how many times do I have to tell you not to sit on the counter, that’s not sanitary. We have chairs for a reason.”
Jaemin made a face, but still moved to take a seat next to Jeno.
“Yeah.” Jisung frowned at the rest of the guys. “Did I make it that obvious?”
Renjun laughed, pulling a plate out of the cabinet. “You just talked about her everyday for a month. But no, not that obvious.”
“You should talk to her again, does she live close by?” Jeno asked, typing away at his computer.
“Yeah, she’s… uh… she’s our neighbor.” He rushed the last bit out, knowing that they would take advantage of the situation.
“Ooh! Our Jisung’s little girlfriend lives next door guys!” Chenle cackled out, “Guys, this is fate. And it’s our job to help out.”
Jisung scowled at him, knowing that Chenle meant what he said, “No. Guys leave her alone. Don’t make things weird. We’re going to be neighbors for the rest of the year, I don’t want to have to avoid her.”
“Avoid who?”
“Haechan, how many times did I tell you to give me that key back?” Renjun asked, narrowing his eyes at the boy.
“Too many.” Haechan shrugged, letting Mark close the door behind him. “You can have this one back though, I’ve got two more copies at my apartment.”
Renjun threw his hands in the air, “I give up.” He picked up his plate of leftovers, opting to sit at the bar next to Jaemin.
“Who are we avoiding though?” Mark asked, settling against the wall next to Chenle.
“Y/N.” Chenle said, giving Mark a knowing grin.
“Y/N? Wait isn’t that...?” Mark furrowed his eyebrows, sporting his signature confused face.
“Uh-huh.”
“Why are we avoiding her?” He asked, turning to Jisung, who had been awfully quiet.
“We’re not.” Jeno spoke up, finally shutting his laptop. “We just found out she’s our neighbor and Jisung doesn’t want us to do anything about it, cause he doesn’t want to avoid her.”
Haechan grinned, pulling out a glass and filling it up with water from the fridge. “So you still like her?”
“No.” There was an empty silence. “Yes.”
Jisung sighed at the commotion his confession caused.
“Well, don’t you think it’s our duty, as your friend, to help you out? After all, I feel like I am very invested in this budding relationship. I did help send the text that set things in motion.” Haechan boasted animatedly, accidently spilling some of his water, which he wiped up with this sock.
“No. I don’t think that it’s your duty. And please stay out of it?” He all but begged the rest of the boys. Much to his dismay, none of them looked like they were swayed.
Jaemin clapped his hands together standing up, “Okay, how about some neighborly cookies? Everyone likes cookies.”
Jeno rolled his eyes with a smile, but stood up anyways. “Sure I’m down, but no more of those peanut butter ones, those are shitty. Can’t we just do chocolate chip?”
Jaemin frowned, digging through the pantry cabinet. “You’re lucky we’re out of those. Chocolate chip it is.”
Haechan strolled towards Jisung, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, “How about we get drafting then?” He snorted, “I think a nice love letter should do it.”
Jisung shoved him away with more force than necessary, “Get off me. And no. Stop it with the love letter thing, I was drunk and sad okay?”
Mark butted in before the two of them would really start fighting, “Actually I don’t think that’s a bad idea. I think she’d like that, like, slip it in with the cookies or something. Just say you’d like to see her again, and hang out.”
Renjun stood up, placing his dishes in the sink, “Dude this is why Jisung sent mixed signals in the first place, ‘i’d like to see you again’, ‘let’s hang out’. Can you get any more confusing than that?”
Mark frowned and cocked his head, opening his mouth to retort, but Haechan beat him to it. “Then what would you say Renjun? ‘Oh how beautiful your eyes compare to a midsummer’s eve. May I court you this evening?’”
Renjun glared at him. “You’re not funny. And no. I was going to say, just tell her it was a missed opportunity. That you’d like to take her out on a date now that you can.”
Jisung shook his head violently at the sound of that. “How am I supposed to do that? That’s way too straight forward, what if she says no?”
“Dude, she likes you. Remember? She sent you that text. And if her feelings aren’t there anymore then… well… I don’t know. But the chances are low.” Jeno tried to reassure him, not doing a very good job of it.
Jisung sucked a breath in, ultimately letting out a hissing noise.
“Trust me on this one Jisung. I make a mean cookie, we’ll just head over there later today and rekindle whatever you two have.” Jaemin cooed at the boy with a big smile.
“Right. Like I can trust all of you.” He muttered to himself, choosing to escape to the confines of his room.
“So… how was it?” Your roommate asked expectantly, a far change from the way she was speaking to you earlier.
You shrugged, “I dunno, he was nice I guess.” You shook your head. “I don’t know why you guys are all pushy on this stuff. Like I get it, but it’s weird trying to date someone that I’ve just met you know?”
Your roommate Alex just shook her head, waving you off. “Whatever, so did you like him or not? Is there gonna be a second date?”
You laughed at her, she was way too invested in your non-existent love life. “I don’t know, I think so. He was sweet and stuff, but like I said it’s weird.”
“Well, that’s the furthest you’ve gotten so far.” You sent her a glare. “I’m just saying. You always either end up leaving the date, or never seeing them again.”
“Shut up, I don’t-”
You were cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. Alex and you exchanged glances, you weren’t expecting anybody.
She stood up, grabbing the bat next to the door, that your mother insisted you bring, ‘just in case’.
You huffed, moving past her, “You know, you could just look through the peephole.” You leaned forward squinting into the door, only to find a group of boys that seemed your age.
“Who is it?”
You pulled back, tilting your head, “I don’t know, just a group of guys.”
You unlocked the door, peeking out through the crack slightly, and you were greeted very enthusiastically by the boy in front.
“Hi!” He grinned, showing off a perfect set of pearly whites. He was waving very aggressively with his free hand, the other seemed to be holding a plate of cookies. “I’m Jaemin! We’re neighbors.”
After his quick introduction he shoved the plate towards you, never letting the smile leave his face.
“Uh… hi?” You weren’t quite sure what to say.
Luckily Alex did, “Hi, I’m Alex and this is Y/N. That’s so sweet of you.” She smiled back, taking the plate from you. “Do you guys want to come in? We can crack them open right now.”
You stepped back, watching the trail of six- no seven guys just stroll into your apartment.
“What the hell?” You muttered to yourself, closing the door softly behind the last boy.
“Hi Y/N.”
You looked up to see Jisung again, and you took a slight step back, startled at the sight.
“Jisung. Oh.” You barely let out.
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to overstep or anything. The guys just wanted to meet you… all. They wanted to meet all of you… cause you’re our neighbors, and all…”
You blushed realizing that he had heard you comment, completely ignoring the way that Jisung was stumbling all over his words.
Haechan took no time in introducing himself, and taking the honor of introducing everyone else as well.
“I’m Haechan, this is Mark, Jeno, Chenle, and Renjun. You already know Jaemin, and I’m aware that you already know Jisung.” He grinned proudly after gesturing to each of the respective boys.
“Jisung?” Alex asked, eyebrows raised. You hadn’t told her about him. For one, it never came up, and secondly, it’s not like it was anything important now. That was years ago, you didn’t feel the need to inform her of every detail of your life, like him.
Haechan cocked his head, “Yeah. You didn’t know they knew each other?”
You furrowed your brows at him. “And how do you know that?”
Jisung shyly raised his hand next to you, embarrassed that he was outed for spilling the details to his friends. “Sorry, that would be my fault.”
You turned slightly, mouth dropping at his face, “Oh. I didn’t mean it like that. I..I- That came out wrong. I’m not mad or anything, I was just shocked.”
You bit your lip feeling guilty about the way he responded.
“Anyways.” Jaemin interrupted the awkward silence. “We just wanted to say hi and stop by. Maybe we can all hang out and stuff and be neighborly.”
He grinned, looking around at the group.
“Right.” You nodded slowly, “Thanks for the cookies, and it was nice meeting you all.” There was a forced smile on your face, but none of the boys seemed to notice or care.
Eventually the boys filtered out one by one, and you closed the door, sighing against it.
“They were nice.” Alex said, taking a bite in a cookie. “Oooh, and these are hella good.”
“Yeah.” You mumbled, moving to sit on the couch.
“Why do you look like that? You don’t like them?” She asked, grabbing a glass for milk. “You and Jisung already know each other though. By the way, how do you know him?”
You rubbed your hand over his face. “It’s a long story.”
“Well, I have the rest of the day.” She sang back, taking a seat on the cushion next to you.
And so, now that Jisung was back in your life, you were left no choice to fill her in.
“Damn! That’s awkward as hell.” Her eyes were widened to the max.
“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want them to feel super weird, cause you know, neighbors right? I just can’t believe my luck though.” You sighed leaning back, slouching down.
“Yeah, but do you like him though?” She asked, to which you whipped your head towards her.
“What?”
“Do you like him? I mean this could be really good for you. Actually it’s a win-win for everyone here. I can stop forcing you on blind dates and you can date the boy you’ve been pining after for years.” She shrugged like it was obvious.
“Okay, I have not been pining after him for years, and we’re not going to date just because I liked him two years ago. I mean, didn’t you get it from what I told you? He doesn’t like me.” You tried to shut her down.
“What are you talking about? Did you see him today? He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you.” You frowned at her observation. You didn’t remember it the way she did, every time you looked at him, which wasn’t that often, he was desperately trying to avoid eye contact.
“No he wasn’t.” You nevertheless blushed at the idea.
“Ooh, you’re blushing! Someone has a cru-ush!” She raised her voice, and you slapper her.
“Shut up, they’re right next door remember? They’re our neighbors.” She simply winked at you.
“And no I don’t.” You added as an afterthought.
The small restaurant was bustling with energy, something the boys loved.
“Dude, why haven’t we been here before?” Mark asked, eyes wide with excitement, smacking Haechan’s shoulder unnecessarily hard.
Haechan tried to move away from him, but to no avail.
“I told you, Jeno always said this place was pricey.” He muttered back, giving in when he realised Mark’s habit wasn’t disappearing anytime soon.
“We shouldn’t have trusted Jeno’s cheap ass.” Renjun snorted, “The prices here look decent.”
“Hey!” Jeno tried to defend himself. “I’m a college student, everything is expensive.”
Jaemin threw an arm over Jeno’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Let’s just grab a booth.”
As they trudged down the busy pathway, Jeno spotted a familiar face.
“Hey isn’t that Y/N?” Jeno asked, elbowing Jisung in the side. But Jisung was already aware of your presence, he had been the moment they stepped into the restaurant.
“Don’t point.” Renjun slapped the boy’s hand down.
“I wasn’t-”
“Shut up.”
“Wait… who’s that with her?” Jaemin asked the obvious, slurring his words at the end, as if just understanding the situation.
It seemed as if you were on a date, and Jisung’s heart dropped. It felt like his entire world came crashing down, like any and all hope he had in you went out the window.
Of course you would have a boyfriend, it’s been two years since you last talked, and it’s not like you were even an item. You texted for an hour.
Jisung closed his eyes for a second, but the picture was still searing in his brain. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he told you that he liked you.
“I guess we didn’t think about that. That she could have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, I mean it has been two years.” Mark nodded, agreeing with Jaemin.
“Guys, not helping.” Renjun said between gritted teeth.
Jisung bit his lip, silently running over the image of you.
Is that your boyfriend? How long had you been dating? Was it after he ran into you? If he asked you out then, would that be him?
He had so many questions he wanted answered, but he would never get them.
Chenle pulled his arm roughly, trying to drag him into the booth. “Jisung you’re staring. Try not to make it so obvious.” He teased.
Jisung quickly averted his eyes, choosing to sit where he could watch you from his seat. His stomach felt queasy, maybe that was a bad idea. Suddenly he lost his appetite at the sight of you smiling so widely at something funny your date had said.
Mark glanced up from his menu, staring at Jisung who was now downing his water. He elbowed Haechan who was concentrating on the menu.
“Dude, say something.” He hissed at him, trying to get Haechan to lift the mood. But for some reason, today of all days, he wasn’t having it.
Haechan just shrugged, shaking his head, “What do you want me to do?” Then he went back to his menu.
Mark bit his lip nervously, feeling uncomfortable at the sight of Jisung so anxious. He shot a look at Renjun who understood and at least tried to spark up conversation.
“So Jeno, who’d you come here with again?” He asked, an attempt at diverting attention from the elephant in the room.
“Uhh… some girl…” Jeno mumbled back, blushing furiously.
“Jeno’s blushing!” Chenle shouted out, his loud voice carrying across the restaurant.
This had Jisung cracking a smile.
“Dude, not so loud.” Jeno groaned out, sinking into his seat. He turned to glare at Renjun, “Did you have to bring that up?”
Renjun shrugged, but sent a small apologetic smile. ‘Sorry’ he mouthed at the embarrassed boy.
You had Chenle to thank for alerting you of the group’s presence. You pulled away from your conversation with Lucas and craned your head to get a glimpse of your neighbors.
“Do you know them?” Lucas asked, following your gaze.
“Oh, yeah, they’re my neighbors.” You said back, tearing your eyes from their booth.
“Yikes, they’re kind of loud.” He chuckled, “That must be rough on you.”
You gave him a smile, accompanied by your own giggle. “Lucas, in case you didn’t notice, you’re loud.”
He let out a fake gasp, holding his hand against his chest, “Me?”
You laughed, “Lucas, on our first date you thought we had so many complaints about the ‘loud dude in the booth’ that they asked us to leave.”
He frowned, “It’s not my fault my voice carries. And I have a very pleasant laugh, they should’ve been happy to hear it.” He pouted, “But we got ice cream to make up for it.”
You bit your lip, holding back your grin at the memory. “Yeah and it was freezing out.” You paused watching his expression, “But it’s never too cold for ice cream, besides, I wouldn’t have gotten your jacket out of it. And by the way, I’m keeping it. It’s soft.”
He smiled widely, immediately agreeing with you. “I’m just gonna use that excuse to see you again.”
You returned his sentiment, it wouldn’t be all that bad to meet Lucas again. You seemed to enjoy yourself every time you met.
“Oh. Jisung, hey.” You let out surprised.
“Hi.” He smiled at you shyly, staring back at you.
“Hi.” You blushed at the awkward tension between the two of you.
You turned and locked the door quietly before facing your neighbor again. “I was just heading out.”
“Right.” He mumbled, retreating back towards his apartment.
“I was going to the bookstore to pick up some things…” You trailed off, watching his expression, “If you’d like to come…?”
You immediately regretted your offer, ducking your head to hide your embarrassment. “You don’t have to, that was-”
“Sure.”
You froze, quickly snapping your head to meet his gaze.
“I uhh… have some things to take care of too.” He stumbled over his words to accept your offer.
“Oh, okay.” You smiled shyly at your feet, a strange feeling in your stomach turning.
You nodded in the direction of campus, trudging forward slowly at first to let him catch up. Soon enough the two of you were keeping pace.
A few minutes passed before Jisung cleared his throat, “So what are you getting from the bookstore?”
You nodded to yourself, “I have a textbook I ordered. It’s ridiculous isn’t it? How insanely overpriced it is, and it’s not like it’s even possible to pass the class without it. I mean I’m paying enough for college, now I have to pay on top of that.” You took a breath and chuckled nervously, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to rant on you.”
Jisung grinned at the way you were so worked up, “No not at all. I totally agree. It’s a rip off, I mean why not just make it part of tuition, we’re paying enough as it is.”
You nodded, “Right? It’s not right to make it required, like I could totally pirate it online, but if the professors make our homework using the online site to turn it in, that’s not even an option.”
You sighed exasperated, and missed the look on Jisung’s face. He seemed to enjoy the way you raved on about something as simple as a textbook.
You paused at the sound of his laughter from beside you, and you turned to look at him with a smile, enjoying the sound.
It was a fifteen minute walk to campus, and another five to the bookstore. And before you knew it the building was looming over your heads.
Jisung jogged a few paces before you, reaching for the door. You paused, watching as he stood aside, holding the door for you.
You blushed, perhaps, as they say, chivalry isn’t dead. “Thank you.”
You reached your hand up, pressing your cold fingers against your burning cheeks, an attempt to chase away the color.
“So which class is it for?” He asked, looking around, and thankfully not noticing your heated face.
“Economics.” You replied, lifting your head in search of your department.
The two of you wandered around for a few more moments, not searching particularly hard for the book in question.
“Look, introduction to Korean Pop Music.” He laughed, pointing at the textbook. “Can you believe there’s a whole course on that?”
You smiled, looking. “I dunno, it seems interesting. Besides, there’s classes for classical music, and pop music, why not K-pop?”
He nodded back, giving you a glance.
“Here, economics.” You mumbled out, walking down the long corridor. You ran your fingers along the spines of all the books, stopping at the familiar title. “Jesus, 98 dollars.”
He frowned, sidling up next to you.
Sighing you reluctantly pulled the book off the shelf. “Ready?”
Jisung looked at you under heavy brows.
“You’re going to get it?”
“It comes with the online version. I mean I have to get the online portion, might as well get the hardcopy for free with it.” You nodded towards the check out, stepping towards the staircase.
He followed in suit, stuffing his hands in his pocket. He ran into your back after you stopped abruptly, suddenly remembering something.
“Oh, didn’t you have to get a book?”
Jisung’s eyes widened, “Oh yeah.” At that moment he reached out and grabbed what seemed to be a random book from the closest table, but you chose to ignore it.
He raised the book, and gave you a smile.
Your eyebrows shot up, “Introduction to the female reproductive system?”
Jisung suddenly turned very pale, as he tried to play it off. “Yeah, ummm… for my biology class.”
You grinned, nodding like you believed him. But you chose to continue up the stairs, unable to watch as his face contorted. While you weren’t looking he quickly flipped over the cover, gulping at the sight of the price.
“80 dollars?” But he shook it off, trudging after you.
“Anything else for you?” A boy around the same age as you was checking you out.
“Nope, that should be it.” You smiled, fumbling around with your purse to find your wallet.
“Economics huh? Are you a ManEcon major?” He asked, leaning towards you slightly, ignoring Jisung who had arrived nearby.
You looked up from your bag, “Huh? Oh, yeah ManEcon. You?”
Your hand was still deep in your back when he replied. “Same, I’m a Junior, I managed to switch in last year.”
“Really?” You raised your eyebrows, “Was it difficult?”
“No, I mean I knew I wanted to switch early on, so I already was taking the classes I needed.”
You nodded back, “That makes sense. Have you taken macro yet? I’m signed up this quarter but I’m a little nervous.”
“I had Zeggert last quarter, she was pretty good.” He smiled, nodding, “She likes it when people go into office hours, really tries to help.”
You cracked a smile of your own, “No way, I have Zeggert. Thank goodness, I’m definitely going to use her office hours a lot then.”
You took a moment to successfully dig out your wallet, sliding him your card.
“That’s good, well, I’m here basically all the time. So if you ever need help, you know where to find me.” He winked at you, returning the card.
You murmured out a quick thanks, and stepped aside to let Jisung pay for his books.
Jisung didn’t take long, and you noticed that he was particularly cold with the cashier, who in turn wasn’t nearly as friendly with him as he was with you.
“He was kind of flirting with you.” Jisung mumbled out, picking at the brand new spine of his unneeded textbook.
You glanced at him, stepping through the door that he once again held open, not knowing how to respond to him.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” He asked under his breath as you caught up beside him.
“What?” You shot him a puzzled look.
Jisung raised his eyebrows, “Your boy...friend?” He slowed his words, questioning them himself.
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You let out, not pausing in your steps. The same couldn’t be said for Jisung.
He jogged slightly to catch up. “But your date…?”
“My date?” You asked, now choosing to stop and face him. You shook your head, confused, “What date?”
“The- the guy you were with at the restaurant Wednesday.” He studied the sidewalk intently, flustered at his confession.
“You saw me?” You leaned down slightly, trying to catch his gaze.
“I-uh… I mean I didn’t mean to watch you. But we just happened to go to that restaurant.” He mumbled, choosing to walk forward and escape the situation, but you quickly caught up.
“He’s not my boyfriend, I mean, we were on a date, but he’s not my boyfriend.” You felt the need to defend yourself, or at least clear things up. Although you didn’t know why you felt the need.
“Oh. A date.” He mumbled. He was overjoyed at the fact that you weren’t dating anyone, but couldn’t help but be disappointed at the mention of a date. From what he remembered, you seemed to be enjoying yourself then.
The silence grew until you reached your doorstep. It had taken Jisung fifteen minutes to decide, fifteen minutes to pluck up the courage he needed.
“How about a date with me?” Although he refused to meet your eyes, you felt the genuinity.
Part 2
© Copyright 2021. hyuckssunchip. All rights reserved.
#nct#nct dream#nct 127#cznnet#nct imagines#nct scenerios#nct drabbles#nct angst#nct fluff#nct smut#nct shorts#nct one shots#nct fanfics#nct park jisung#nct jisung#park jisung#jisung#nct jisung fluff#nct jisung angst#jisung fluff#jisung angst#czennies#nctzens#fool sun#neos
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dsmp analysis: the future of c!dream
because i decided to write an essay about a controversial character at 8 am on a sunday morning. i am completely normal i swear
(everything is /dsmp /rp unless specifically stated otherwise)
ever since cc!dream tweeted that there would be lore soon, i couldn't help but think of where he would lead his character. i am by no means a dream apologist, quite the opposite actually, but he is one of my favorite characters in the respect that he is very intriguing and interesting to analyze.
dream's story arc up until now revolves around control and attachments. he wants to feel in control (whether it's for safety or fueling a superiority complex or something else completely is a debate for another day, though i personally lean towards the second option), and he views attachments as a weakness that hinders him from that goal. he became aware of how he could use tommy's, and eventually everyone's, attachments against them (aka controlling them), and this eventually led to him cutting off his own attachments so he couldn't be controlled (george, sapnap, spirit, etc).
what he doesn't realize, or maybe he does subconsciously, is that he has a negative unhealthy attachment to tommy as a result of viewing tommy as a key to control everyone else. and for a while, he was in control, that is until he was locked up in prison, where most, of not all, of his power was stripped away from him, and he was left to the mercy of people like sam and quackity.
even when in prison, dream tried to exercise any semblance of control he can over others, which can be seen in ranboo's and tommy's visits to the prison. his thirst for power and control, as well as his rejection of attachments has caused a downward spiral that left him a completely changed and pathetic man, committing atrocities and causing harm to those he once cared about, and this is the main tragedy of his character that i believe cc!dream aimed to create. the question is, where do we go from here?
my initial thought, and one many still have to this day, is to let him rot in prison. not only will this let him see what it feels like to be at someone else' mercy (getting a taste of his own medicine), but it would also allow characters to navigate the playing field without the "big bad guy" connecting them to a common goal (which we have gotten a bit of in the rare lore of the last few months). thematically, it is a punishment for his behavior, and a promise of peace for everyone that suffered at his hand. characters like tommy must learn to live without their previous sense of purpose, which makes for an okay-but-interesting story arc. however, i think a more interesting option is available, for the development of dream, other characters, and the themes of the dsmp as a whole.
while the prison has stripped dream's power away from him, this closed off environment has prevented us from seeing the full effect of this on him. and more importantly, dream still has not learned that main lesson that his story revolves around: attachments are not a weakness, they're a strength and what makes you human (someone else made a really good post that explores this theme in more detail relating to tommy but i can't find it rn, i'll link it when i do). the only way to advance dream's character is to give him direct exposure to the benefits of positive attachments. right now, he only views people as a way to get what he wants and he needs that mindset to be challenged. manipulating and pushing away others is not just hurting them, it's hurting him. this has already been hinted at with techno telling him about how he made friends and is happier and stronger because of it, but that isn't enough.
if dream were to escape prison and live with techno (which seems to be the cc's plan right now), he would be directly exposed to techno's close friendships and the good it gives him, which will spur a much-needed identity crisis. dream's character arc will come full circle: he no longer has the power he used to, and he is faced with proof that he was wrong about attachments. more specifically, the way he went about getting his power is what caused him to lose it. i'm not going to debate on whether he deserves a redemption arc, but for the sake of a satisfying end to his character and present themes in the narrative, i want him to at least become aware of the flaws in his mindset.
now, while he will be escaping prison, i don't want him interacting with characters like tommy, at least not yet. he needs time to become exposed to healthy positive attachments, and going back to tommy right off the bat would result in another cycle of abuse, which would be stagnant and repetitive for both of their character arcs. when he first leaves prison, he will be resentful and itching for a sense of control, and putting him anywhere near tommy is just a recipe for disaster. in general, him staying away from most of the server when first escaping will allow for his own development while retaining the whole "navigating the playing field without the bad guy" thing for other characters that i mentioned earlier.
aside from the whole attachments thing, leaving prison will finally give us a full understanding of the impact the prison has had on dream, which will be very interesting. you don't really get that from the couple visits he gets right now, as he is still not interacting with the outside world in a way that doesn't immediately put him in a victim role.
when he finally does interact with the rest of the server as a changed man, whatever that change may be, this will also help tie loose ends for other characters whose current arcs still revolve around him (sam, quackity, wilbur, ranboo, etc).
the cc's have already started this, but i really want them to move even further away from the traditional hero-villian-antihero-etc roles and just play with the conflicting fears and motives of their characters. in my opinion, it creates more interesting characters which leads to a more complex narrative (which is why las nevadas' set up for lore appeals to me so much).
tldr; dream escaping prison will allow for the exploration of the themes of attachment relating to his character, which is a much more satisfying story arc than letting him remain in prison forever.
feel free to discuss and debate me about this (i encourage it actually), but only from a thematic and character development perspective. if you can't tell, this post isn't apologist and morality discourse, im just a lit nerd that wants to analyze themes and characters in peace.
#dream smp#dsmp#dsmp analysis#dream smp analysis#dreamwastaken#technoblade#mcyt#tw abuse#long post#c!dream critical#<- not really#but just in case#og post
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TGCF criticisms
Spoilers and unpopular/critical opinions ahead! Beware!
I tried to like this, I really did, but this novel really makes me frustrated. It clearly has so much potential, but so much of that potential was wasted on pandering romance and shallow caricatures of main characters. Overall 1.5-2 stars because it gets worse the more you think about it.
CHARACTERS:
1. The main character, Xie Lian was wildly bland and boring. He is presented as the kindest, purest, most selfless person in the world, but really he was just a bland white lotus. With Xie Lian, his personality can be described in just a sentence or so, while the author's other two MC's (Wei Wuxian and Shen Qingqiu) are both charming, funny, and deep with their own motivations. Xie Lian just walks around in the story with no purpose and he says that he wants to help the common people, but he really hasn't done that! He's barely helped anyone at all, and those times he did help people are quickly followed by flirting with the ML and forgetting all about the people he was supposed to help. Honestly, in the past, Xie Lian was also the biggest jerk ever. He gave up his own friends and family's well being for his own sense of justice and was stubborn to a fault and refused to listen. What's worse is that none of these flaws are actually addressed, and the story just lets him roll with it and never actually calls him out on it. If you want to see all the reasons why he's a poorly written character, check out this reddit post: https://www. reddit. com/r/MXTX/comments/j2l9ye/why_xl_is_a_poorly_written_character_in_my_opinion/
2. The ML, Hua Cheng, is equally as bad. He is extremely shallow and such a static character, with his development in the present times being nonexistent and his development from the past to the present being wholly nonsensical. His personality is very cliche and his motivations and thoughts are left entirely up to the reader's imagination, which significantly reduces character depth. He could've been such a great character, a ghost king who rules over hell and is morally grey, but instead he is dumbed down to a Xie Lian fanboy. Everything about him not related to Xie Lian is thrown at us in a few paragraphs if at all, and what little motivation and thoughts about him we do get always fall flat. [Like apparently this guy saved him once, and he fell in love with him and became devoted to him for 800 years? Like people get saved all the time and we don't see them going 800 years and 3 deaths for a guy they've barely talked to] Also, he is wildly unlikable. Of course, this is purely subjective, but he is irritatingly smug and lords over literally everyone he meets. It doesn't help that he's an insufferable Mary Sue with an endless array of powers, intelligent as hell and knows literally everything, really good at painting, sculpting, woodworking, and on top of that the richest, most powerful, most handsome, and most charismatic man in the book. His biggest flaw is supposed to be his insecurity and inferiority complex, but that barely ever comes up and 90% of the time he is arrogant and smug. More information on why he's badly written here:
https://www. reddit. com/r/MXTX/comments/iskkp5/why_hc_is_a_bad_character_in_my_opinion/
3. The side characters in my opinion are written far better, but obviously quite underdeveloped. They are all three dimensional and have their own thoughts, emotions, and feelings as well as a believable backstory, but so many of them are quickly offed to make way for the main couple, some of them not only not becoming better, but actually getting quite a whole lot worse. Qi Rong, who was supposed to be super strong demon that is one of the 4 great evils becomes a comedic relief gremlin who just shows up for some comedy and then leaves. Feng Xin and Mu Qing, the MC's childhood caretakers disappear for like 100 chapters after we're given their backstories and then once they reappear, they don't do anything either. Shi Qingxuan, who in my opinion is by far the best character in the book, has his arc left open with no ending at all, only to be forgotten about for 80+ chapters only to reappear completely the same with no character growth at all. All of this is because the main couple take up so much of the book, and the rest of the side characters and their character growth is sabotaged for the author's ego so that the main couple can look better and get more screen time.
4. I lost interest in the story pretty quickly due to the bland characters and their out of place romance and how unlikable they were. A lot of this novel was very surface level, and it's pretty on paper, but when you think about the characters a bit longer, the more bland and shallow they become.
PLOT:
1. The plot was... There was no plot. It was just a collection of monster of the day arcs that aimlessly meander about and then everything returns to the status quo once they return to Xie Lian's temple/home. Obviously books 4 and 5 were a lot more to my taste because the writing was a lot more concise and the pacing was less slow and pointless, as well as actually incorporating fantasy elements and shaking up the status quo. However, the other 3 books, especially books 1 and 2 had way too much fan service, pointless romance, and plot lines that don't go anywhere and don't contribute to the story.
2. The past plot line, or the flashbacks were pretty interesting, except for how b*tchy the MC was. Book 2 has a lot of important information and some action, but a lot of it was boring fluff that didn't really contribute to the story other than introducing the villain and showing how XL and HC met. The rest, we're literally told already and there's no new information. Book 4 was supposed to be suffering heavy, and I agree that the character development was alright, but it was too brooding and oppressive. In the end, I just stopped feeling bad for Xie Lian because of how bad the story was trying to make you feel for him. I was not invested in him, and although he was significantly more deep in this book than in the other 4, the bad logic is still there. [you wanna kill people but then someone gives you a bamboo hat and you're all sunshine and rainbows again?] The suffering is excessive in my opinion, and although it's supposed to provide contrast to the romance, it just feels done in poor taste. seriously, 20 chapters straight of suffering is not necessary, and the pacing and tone suffers because of this. The flashbacks really don't contribute too much to XL or HC's character development, but is just there to be angsty and cryp*rn.
3. The final battle was the most unbelievable thing I've ever read. All the gods got together and the first part seemed pretty epic as we got to see all the side characters finally showcase their powers.... Until the MC and ML show up. The MC and ML show up, and instantly the background extras—excuse me I mean side characters, go back into hibernation as the main couple show off how cool and powerful they are. And then we get to the final confrontation, which has our MC, ML, and MC's two friends face off against literally the most powerful being in the freaking universe. I thought it would be a tense fight scene with lots of close calls, but I was so disappointed. Instead the ML is so OP that he breaks the spells binding MC's powers, and MC becomes so overpowered and slams the big boss into the wall with the power of love while his two friends just stand there doing nothing.
4. A lot of what happens in the flashback is directly Xie Lian's fault, but the book never seems to register it? I won't go into detail on this point since it's already covered in the first Reddit thread, but basically because of XL's s*upidity and refusal to listen to anyone else, the people around him suffer.
WRITING:
1. The writing wasn't great. It was very choppy and as I said previously, very monotonous and monster-of-the-day. Yes there were great scenes which got to me, but most of it was really boring and descriptions and dialogue dragged on and on with no end, and with the bland MC, it wasn't even interesting such as the dialogue in MDZS was. Side arcs were introduced with no warning and ended with no warning, leaving the reader wondering "Why was that even there in the first place if it was just going to be forgotten about?"
2. The water demon/wind god arc. The opening and most of the middle of this arc was extremely good, the logic and mystery was written well, and Shi Qingxuan's (the wind god) antics were funny. But after the big reveal and the tense climax, the story just... stops. Like it's literally forgotten about. [The MC gets dragged out by his all powerful lover, they romance some more, and forget all about Shi Qingxuan who is literally left in the hands of the second or third most powerful demon ever who is also his mortal enemy]
3. The incessant flirting really got on my nerves. The tension and tone of the entire story got completely ruined because of the MC and ML flirting and the MC blushing and giggling while the ML teases him and everyone else is literally fighting for their lives. This felt very fan-service like, and it felt like the author stopped trying and just fed us dog food after an emotionally taxing arc so that she wouldn't have to close out the arc properly, completely destroying the tone. Speaking of the tone, the tone whiplash was just... wow. You're fed fluff and romance during or after a high tensity and highly emotional scene with no connection at all, and you're just supposed to accept it instead of wondering what's happening to the characters you actually care about.
4. Romance and side arcs quite disconnected from the story. Quite frankly, most of this book is just romance with the plot and characters put in second place because "lOOk hOw CuTe the COuPLe iS!" You could literally take out all the side arcs and the story would literally be no different. The romance overtakes the entire plot and becomes the main point of the story. With her other two books, the romance is like the icing on the cake. With this book, the icing overtakes the cake and becomes the cake.
5. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons I was uninterested through most of the book was due to the lack of tension and suspense. The flashbacks were better in the sense that Xie Lian was helpless and couldn't figure anything out, which was why he was just as likely to get hurt as anyone, making the stakes significantly higher. But in the present, with the existence of Hua Cheng, that tension is completely gone. This is because HC knows basically all there is to know, and what he doesn't know he can figure out in seconds. Additionally, he is super powerful to the point that anything that can harm XL can be one shot K.O'ed by him. At this point the conflict becomes trivial to the point where I'm just asking "why are we solving this mystery anyways when HC can just blast it into oblivion?"
6. The fact that HC does the bare minimum in arcs frustrates me. If you're going to include a character with powers that will basically deem any threat against them null, then actually use them at least! HC's apathy does not feel like a coherent part of his character, but an excuse for MXTX to drag out plot lines and make things unnecessarily long and winded. Additionally, his apathy is contradictory. On one hand, he is super overprotective of XL and wants to make sure he won't get hurt a single bit, but on the other hand, he has this advanced ideology of the 21st century that he believes XL is capable so won't constrain him as much. If anything, they should start out with HC as this overprotective follower and have a dysfunctional relationship, and end up with XL teaching HC that he is able to do things and doesn't mind doing them, and that HC can live a life outside of him as well. That would've introduced some narrative stakes and romantic tension, but no, MXTX just had to make these characters perfect in every way.
ROMANCE:
1. The logic is so flawed here. The reason that HC started loving XL is literally because Xie Lian saved him once as a child and therefore he will devote his entire life to XL, not caring about literally anything else. The reason that XL started loving HC is even more so. The thing is someone like say Shi Qingxuan has done every bit as much for XL as HC has, but we don't see XL fall in love with SQX, do we? HC literally listens to him talk and XL falls in love with him, and although it does make sense due to XL being lonely for 800 years, how low the bar is set really bothers me.
2. The constant blue-balling was annoying. At some point, the ignorant MC became annoying and self indulgent instead of cute, and having it be drawn out over nearly 200 chapters makes it even worse. The MC is supposed to be super intelligent, but he literally misses all of the super obvious hints the ML drops at him, which is so weird.
3. It felt like MXTX (the author) went overboard on the romance here. Like she tried way too hard to the point where it was obvious she wanted to make this "the most romantic CP ever". The aesthetics went so overboard with butterflies and flowers as romantic themes, thousands of lanterns, the red string of fate (which didn't even do anything in the actual story), poetry, etc.
4. The romance could almost be described as kind of creepy. Like the ML obsesses over the MC for 800 years, isolating himself from the world and not taking any side of the story besides MC's is supposed to be romantic, but it really isn't. The ML carves thousands of statues of the MC, which is sweet in a way, but also really, really creepy. To quote someone from NovelUpdates who put it 100x better than I could:
" They don't feel like equal lovers, HC obviously worships XL to an unbelievably amazing degree while XL only knew he existed from only a while ago (Is this obsession? Stalker-ish? I know his stalker-ish tendencies are usually played for laughs, but realistically?) HC very very very rarely calls XL by his given name but with GeGe or CrownPrince, dude has a name you know. I know you feel lower than XL, but seriously man, the guy's your life partner. HC would destroy the world if XL said to. He'd probably try to talk to XL first, confirm things, but if at the end XL really does want it, HC would do it. He lives for XL, he has no other reason to do something aside for XL. No reason to say NO for himself. They're not equals in which one wanna do something bad, the other would stop him because they have their own convictions. You can't tell me one only lives for one person's sake, will do anything for that guy, and has no attachments in the world aside from that guy, is a healthy person. It may seem romantic, but when you actually think about it, it becomes uncomfortable."
5. The romance was really cheesy. There were some powerful moments, but it was mostly flirting and "he fell on top of me" or "he needs mouth to mouth". Most of it was just the ML flirting with the MC, which you may like if you like this kind of stuff, but I really didn't enjoy it.
Overall, I was desperate to love this novel, but I couldn't because of the shallow characters, unlikable main pair, and the constant abandonment of great plot lines in favor of the shallow romance. It felt like MXTX was constantly trying to one-up MDZS in angst, drama, and romance, but at the same time it felt like she didn't know what to do with the characters and world, and therefore fed us fan service and took the easy way out. This review is purely subjective, and if you want to read this go ahead, but I'll be seeing myself out.
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There's literally no stakes in the anime at all. Its so bland and emotionless. I don't feel anything for these characters. Everything is being handed to them. Give me back my son, Adam. He is far more intelligent than any of these anime characters. They all drank stupid juice.
Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm just watching to see where this ends up at this point (and also to shitpost lmfao)
Every Thursday me and two of my friends (one has read most of the manga, the other is anime-only) watch it on discord, or talk about it on discord and man... my friend who is anime-only is like "yeah, this sucks ass, I need to just read the manga" and is confused with stuff. We just kinda clown on it at this point. It's basically just someone's shitty canon-divergence AU playing out on screen.
Random assortment of thoughts:
I can sympathize with Manga Norman. I can understand WHY he is doing what he is doing and what his motivations are. It is, quite frankly, completely disgusting what he wants to do, but I can get why he wants to do it and I don't hate him. He is a very complex character, trying to make sense/live in a very complex world. Anime Norman on the other hand? I feel nothing for him like, I just Do Not Care. Norman is, imo, the best written out of the three mains and my personal favorite, but they've completely squandered his writing... ugh
I've held strong by this belief: If you are going to adapt TPN, there are 3 major characters who you *cannot afford* to mess up. Isabella, Yuugo, and Norman. (I'd even throw Peter and Leuvis in there as well) Well, Yuugo's gone and if they *do* decide to have him show up his character is completely different (i.e. the out of character note he leaves at the bunker). Norman has next to none of the depth he had in the OG story (I can't remember, but didn't Cislo or Barbara say that he saved the kids at the mass production plants? Uhhh, what?!?!). And Isabella is being built up as the big villain YET AGAIN which does not align with her development at all (though I do think they will still pull a bait-n-switch on us like in the manga) so there goes that.
Peter and Leuvis oh where do I start? Leuvis is my personal favorite villain of the story for multiple reasons (I think I will write an entire post on him sometime) and Peter is the epitome of everything Emma stands against and is essentially the Big Bad. Leuvis is gone, Peter is in the op but has had ZERO screentime thus far, not even any fucking hints to his existence at all. There's 5 eps left so he has to show up at some point, right? He's in the opening soooo... where the hell is he? How are viewers supposed to give a shit about him? He's pretty fucking dangerous and has been influencing the plot since day ONE, but whatever I guess??
Anime Ray is the only one I vibe with rn, and even then he's meh. Anime Emma is on thin fucking ice, and Anime Norman can be fed to the Dropkick Murpheys for all I care.
Infodumps. My god. These bitches be talking like they're reading a wikipedia article.
The literal butchering of Emma's character. Goldy Pond would have been the ep 19 of Demon Slayer of this anime season if they had adapted it, and I stand by that. The amount of HYPE on social media that would have happened after Emma pulls herself from the brink of death to challenge Leuvis would have been insane. There are so few strong, well-written female shonen protagonists... damn shame that the brilliance of Emma is relegated solely to s1 and the pages of the manga, she is a husk of herself in this season.
No character growth. Trio is separate for 90 chapters. That's literally half of the entire manga. There's no feeling of separation, no feeling that they are wildly different people now. These three have spent their entire lives together. Ray and Emma have to struggle without Norman, and Norman has to struggle without Ray and Emma. It's so important. This dynamic *literally* dictates how they grow as characters. When they are finally reunited it is so emotional and amazing, but also a bit unsettling because Norman is *clearly* not the Norman we remember... but in the anime we don't feel any of the impact of those 2 years.
Yuugo and Lucas. Contrasting the love Isabella gave to the kids with the love these two dads give to them. Adds a lot to the story. RIP.
Also RIP Adam and the Gold Pond kids... jeeeeeze there was so much potential.
Anime sacrifices extremely hard-hitting and emotional moments for cheap shock factor (namely, bunker raid and the trio reunion)
Speaking of the trio reunion, why the FUCK does Anime Norman not give a shit about Anime Ray? Hes completely ignored, and it's not like in the manga where he came in later no, like... he's there, seeing Norman at the same time Emma is. There's like, a solid minute and a half of Norman and Emma crying over each other while Ray just stands in the back like 🧍♂️and then is added as an afterthought. Emma's like "oh yeah, I brought Ray" GIRL??? And Norman is like "oh hey Ray.." BITCH?!?! YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER OR NOT EMMA WAS ABLE TO STOP HIS SUICIDE, FOR 2 YEARS??? AND YOU JUST IGNORE HIM?? AND THEN ACKOWLEDGE HIM AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT?? I--okay!
Manga Norman: Emma and Ray are my best friends and I love them more than anything in the world, but Ray understands me in a way that Emma doesn't. They are both important to me.
Anime Norman: who the fuck is ray
Zero suspense. Minimal world building. Very minimal lore building. No mystery.
What the fuck is up with the William Minerva part of the plot like... uh, that's pretty important??? He's been completely dropped and there's zero reason for us to connect him with Norman. Like, he had his phone call in ep 3 and then any mention of him dipped. Disappointing as hell. Don't get to see the parallels drawn between him and Norman. Man...
Yeah idk what else... am I being too critical? Honestly, not sure. I think my criticisms and frustrations are well-founded, but I am definitely basing most of this off of the anime's failure to adapt the manga. Though I suppose, looking from an anime-only standpoint who has no idea just how much of the story has been axed, it might be okay or it might not be? Or it might depend on the person... in any case, I cant fathom how anyone could look at this season and go "Yeah, this feels like the same show as season 1!"
#the promised neverland#tpn#yakusoku no neverland#promised neverland#ynn#tpn s2#tpn salt#tpn criticism
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season three is where star trek discovery claims to have found its stride, and i must admit that with the season’s premiere, i was more than inclined to agree. however, now that s3 is complete and we’re able to take a holistic view of all of the resolved and unresolved arcs, i’m still pretty unsatisfied
with the s3 finale, it became clear that the season’s mission in terms of its protagonist was a concise one: to fully prepare michael burnham for the captain’s seat
i was thrilled when michael finally was promoted to captain, but it’s really worth examining the ways that the show went about its final preparations for such a promotion. there were a few major tenants to michael’s character arc across these thirteen episodes, and the following two themes are the ones i think are most worth unpacking in terms of what they do in service of michael’s promotion:
1. michael’s ongoing and complex relationship with isolation
2. michael’s inclination to subvert authority and protocol in service of what is right
i’ll try and unpack these a little bit below the cut
michael and isolation
ever since the very first episode of the very first season, michael burnham has been a character entrenched in her own isolation. in season one, michael found friendship and community on the discovery by forging bonds with sylvia tilly, ash tyler, and paul stamets and by redefining previously broken bonds with saru and the alternate philippa georgiou. one of the main reasons why s1 is kinda still my favorite season is this very aspect of it: michael’s success and the federation’s survival depended on the creation and strength of these bonds
season two continued michael’s experience of isolation by introducing her estranged and tortured relationship with spock. the major theme of michael’s character in this season was her instinct to “reach” for the people who always seemed furthest from her despite everything (i.e., she “reached” for her parents, spock, tilly, etc.). this was the final message she imparted to spock: the act of reaching for others will always be the most worthwhile thing, even if you are unable to ever touch them. michael was finally able to connect with spock only to be launched into the future
season three picks up on this theme in what i think is the most conceivably devastating way possible. michael is isolated for a whole year from the crew of the discovery, and when she returns into the fold, nobody reaches for her.
now, a huge part of why the first and third episodes hit me so hard is because i really thought they were going somewhere meaningful with this. she loses so much, and the gratitude directed towards her in the third episode is directly acknowledged as NOT ENOUGH. michael stands among her found family in the halls of the discovery, a family she has mourned for a year, and tilly says, “you let us go, didn’t you?” and there seems to be purpose to it
the first half of season three sees michael feeling lost, struggling to find a single reason why she should feel like she should belong with these people on this ship anymore. tilly and saru both clearly understand this, and instead of seeing any efforts on their part to welcome her back into their family, they further contribute to her feelings of isolation and make HER apologize for keeping THEM out of the loop (and yeah i understand that these apologies have to do with breaches in starfleet protocol but rn i’m only focusing on the interpersonal implications). the only meaningful connections that michael is able to maintain this season are with book and georgiou. and while i adore them both, georgiou leaves before the season ends and book is from the future and isn’t a discovery crew member, which makes it feel like when michael says she doesn’t think she belongs on the discovery, she’s RIGHT
this first half of development would’ve been all well and good if it had been carried out to its logical conclusion, which would have been the discovery crew fighting to make michael feel like she belongs, but that never happened. instead, we get unification iii, which is a great episode on its own, but it only resolves michael’s internal feelings regarding her place in starfleet, not the interpersonal tension that’s made her feel more isolated than she’s been since, like, maybe even early season one.
this is all to say that i don’t understand how this unfulfilled arc generates michael’s preparedness to stay on the discovery as captain, unless we’re going with the “the captain defines themself as separate from the crew because they’re the captain” narrative that star trek does admittedly love. i would be more into it if i was sure that discovery would actually explore that isolation with the care it deserves
it could be cool to potentially explore a discussion or resolution of this arc next season by bringing commander nhan back as michael’s first officer, another character who felt disconnected enough from the discovery’s crew to actually decide to leave, but idk i guess we’ll see
michael and authority
i’ve talked about how michael’s s1 character arc was a journey to learn how to subvert authority before. she starts the show as “the mutineer,” and this is a signifier we can’t forget
my roommate and i have also talked a lot about how the command structure of the discovery is so fucking weird, and i think a large part of it is because it naturally organizes itself around its heart, which is a position that michael instinctively and effortlessly occupies (though that is not to say that this effortlessness is not without its own suffering---michael being the heart of the discovery is what leads to the reinforcement of her martyr complex, though that’s not the focus of this post so i won’t dwell there)
season three’s essential question that it sets up with michael centers around doing the right thing her way or doing the right thing starfleet’s way. in her year alone, michael is finally able to define herself outside of starfleet, and she likes who she finds. this is one of the main reasons she struggles to reinsert herself into the crew of the discovery, this is the reason she rejects the idea of being the crew’s captain outright, and this is the reason saru gives for demoting her. this is the eventual reason that michael sends paul in an escape pod to the federation hq instead of immediately trying to jump for hugh, saru, and adira. this is the reason that she is eventually promoted to captain
tbh i would have had less issue with this storyline if not for a couple key details: (1) michael was punished for subverting starfleet protocol when other characters (like keyla or tilly) were encouraged or rewarded for it. (2) idk i feel like we’ve exceeded the bounds of the whole “needs of the many/needs of the few” ideological tenant, which was (i think) something that the ni’var president even SAID.
when it comes down to it, i just think that michael’s complicated relationship with subverting authority deserves a much more complicated storyline. i do think that this is something we’ll see more of in s4 because it’s always going to be one of the greatest tenants of her character, but that doesn’t change the fact that it seems to have fallen rather flat in s3 for me. i’d argue that this is because discovery doesn’t seem to want to commit to its serialized style as much anymore, but maybe that’s for another post lmao
i don’t think i’ve quite found a way to properly articulate it yet, but michael taking the captain’s seat was supposed to be the culmination of three seasons of buildup. however, the buildup that the show suggested in the s3 finale seemed to be based on things that michael had already earned by the s3 premiere. her relationship with authority this season felt. idk. maybe it’s because this was kinda the first time the show attempted to show michael as a subordinate on the discovery instead of as the heart of the discovery, but it felt like it just wasn’t the natural place to take that particular element of her characterization. i’m hoping that s4 will deliver on this front, but the main thing is that i don’t think s3 did
tl;dr s3 was not what i was hoping for in terms of furthering michael’s character, and now that she’s captain i would love for these two elements of her characterization to be explored to their full and complicated conclusions
#star trek discovery#michael burnham#god this is long#been trying to settle my thoughts for days and well here they are#as they exist today at least
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hua cheng, the accidental person
okay this is for @bodhimcbodeface because i can’t shut up and make this concise enough for discord. spoilers ahead yeehaw
this is...not comprehensive. i’ve written 11 tgcf fics and am generally a bit fixated on Hua Cheng as a character so. there’s definitely things missing but i tried to hit the main points that i thought of while writing? also obviously this is just my interpretation! i do not expect anyone else to be like “ah yes curio the sage is so correct i have changed my thinking on this” like go live your life with your own versions of hua cheng! this is just the hill upon which i have firmly planted myself and from which i refuse to be budged. as u do.
anyway, LONG explanation of my very niche and very uh self-indulgent, not-necessarily-support-by-canon hua cheng apologism LMAO
tl;dr: (this is really Too Long i’m sorry) I think Hua Cheng reluctantly becomes a person during his 800 years of searching, starting from a point where he views Xie Lian not as a person but as an immutable god and focus of devotion and developing into a person who doesn’t really acknowledge that he’s a person because realizing that you want to live and do things for yourself is scary and overwhelming at times, and he ultimately falls in love with Xie Lian during the novel itself as he recognizes and is in wonder of the humanity of Xie Lian instead of his divinity or absolute judgment.
POINT 1: Hua Cheng doesn’t actually fall in love with Xie Lian till the ox cart
but curio! you say, “my beloved!” he calls him his beloved! and the land of tender!!
shhh. IMO Hua Cheng is more Wuming than Hua Cheng for those 800 years. By which I mean, for most of that time he’s, at his heart, a nameless soldier trying to find and serve his crown prince/general/god. He still views Xie Lian as this perfect and immaculate figure—a sculpture, a painting, a work of art that is untouchable and immutable. And he’s utterly and wholly devoted to that figure but devotion is not the same as love
So Hua Cheng is searching and trying to serve Dianxia all these years and then His Royal Highness finally ascends and is a god again and Hua Cheng shows up in all his glory to give this power and strength and wealth to serve him and—
and he’s met not by a powerful and reckless martial god or an unstoppable calamity but by a young man dressed in bridal robes who lets Hua Cheng lead him up a darkened mountain, who doesn’t lash out with spiritual energy or a sword but instead, only eventually, with the cursed bandage he was carrying back in the darkest part of his life.
and i think that throws hua cheng. like he’s had this image of his god all these years, this divine painting made over and over and over again—and he carries that belief and devotion with him, but there’s a crack in the sculpture and the stone is starting to flake off to reveal a human underneath it
so he puts on an approachable, malleable, unassuming skin and finds xie lian collecting scraps and being a lil awkward, a lil bumbling, generous and kind — and i think hua cheng, after 800 years of knowing everything, having everything — I think he looks at this discovery with wonder
Bc tbc this does not mean Hua Cheng views them as equals. For him it’s like, dianxia has even more to him, is even more than I knew. He’s seen Xie Lian as the flower crowned martial god in all his glory and as the white-clothed calamity in all his horror — and now here he is, wonderful, multitudinous, and human
Meanwhile I don’t think Hua Cheng even views himself as a person really, much less a human.
also i mean. the internet & allo ppl prove time and time again that you don’t need love for horniness so. land of tender’s right out as proof on that
POINT 2: The Live For Me thing
so obviously and undeniably, using one person as a reason for living is....not healthy. Not going to argue that. but my take on it personally is that, when Hua Cheng’s a kid who really, actively wants to die and sees no reason for living, Xie Lian gives him a reason to keep going. he doesn’t have to live for himself—that’s too much, that’s too big of an ask—but he’s been given a command and purpose by the one person who’s been kind to him/whom he respects. it’s a little like... “My life has no meaning but my cat needs me to feed him and clean his litterbox and so I need to keep getting up and taking care of him even if I don’t see a larger intrinsic purpose to my life.”
and i think like...it’s easy to forget that for all of books 2 & 4, Hua Cheng is young. He doesn’t live past 18—he’s still like...a kid. And that’s not to say that teenagers/young adults can’t make moral and rational decisions but I’m going to be honest, when I was that age I contemplated joining the Air Force because of tuition assistance and the snazzy uniform despite the fact that I was a vocal pacifist and repeatedly got into arguments with teachers about school rules and conservative politics. It’s not like. The Most Rational and Mature Age, lbr.
so Wuming is absolutely capable of looking at what Xie Lian is doing and being like “hey maybe war crimes aren’t a great idea” but he is young and traumatized and the one person he believes in, the one person who gave him a reason to keep going, is deadset on this task which tbh I don’t think either of them (or...necessarily...the society in which they live) views as war crimes in the modern sense (which isn’t to say that we as readers should view it any more lightly bc i think the narrative directly and firmly contradicts that idea) but as revenge, as an eye-for-an-eye. so, bad, but character-wise, I think it’s more nuanced than we sometimes consider
anyway back to the fixation on xie lian. i stand by the assertion that in those 800 years, hua cheng wasn’t exclusively focused on xie lian. like was finding and serving him his top priority? oh god yes. undeniably. there is no other version of this story. BUT eight hundred years is like....a lot of time. and i think in that time he started doing things for himself, even if under the guise of serving xie lian. hua cheng is curious and adventurous—he clearly likes to learn even if he plays it off as nbd—and i think he starts to realize that about himself in those centuries even if he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge or consider it.
POINT 3: Mt. Tong’lu in General
“okay, sure but what about the thousands of sculptures and murals of xie lian, curio. what the fuck about them.”
Yeah. FINE. okay we will DEAL with this. dealing with this is the entire reason i wrote “(like i do) in the tall grass.”
disclaimer: this is probably not supported by canon! i also. Do Not care. My Ghost King Now.
so I have two general avenues I take with this:
going back to the devotion > love — when Hua Cheng reaches MTL, he’s seen xie lian beaten and cast down. what do gods need to survive? worship! we see throughout how important divine statues/portraits/etc. are throughout canon. in this interpretation, the cave is a concentration of all that worship in an effort to support and serve xie lian and hua cheng doesn’t view himself like...as part of it. the sculptures could have been carved by any hand so long as they are xie lian and the worship and devotion that goes into their making can support and bolster him.
my personal favorite version: amNESIA IN THE CAVES —okay i don’t have the text pulled up rn but y’know how Guoshi says Hua Cheng was almost dispersed, in terrible condition, etc., when he reached Mt. Tong’lu. so if baby boy is in terrible condition, barely hanging on, etc., then my immediate favorite option is that he doesn’t, at that time, have even the...uh threadbare sense of self he did in life/as Wuming and is running on only a vague and urgent sense of Something driving him—something he has to do, someone he has to serve—and in that case, the paintings and sculptures are part of his trying to piece together and process his memories as he can grasp them and figuring out who he is/what his purpose is. Is this canonical? PROBABLY NOT. and yet here i am. firmly planted on this hill
Also w/ MTL I think a thing that’s often skated over is the mortals, creation of E’ming, and his ascension. Which is important from a meta lens of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian vs Jun Wu but that’s not the point of this rambling monstrosity and i’m trying not to get too distracted. ANYWAY I think this is one of those times when Hua Cheng does something that he would probably excuse as like “well His Highness would’ve wanted me to” or “His Highness wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice the mortals” because Xie Lian is still largely his moral compass—but it also is a peek at the complexity Hua Cheng doesn’t acknowledge within himself.
uh i got distracted anyway and no longer know what point i was making here. Hua Cheng Ascension Important....maybe i will remember this at some other point...
POINT 4: Live For Me (Revisited)
I sort of got distracted writing that point but anyway coming back to it now: I maintain that although Hua Cheng’s primary pursuit is protecting and serving Xie Lian he also does develop/realize his Accidental Personhood throughout his 800 years. this includes a lot of things, as previously stated, that are under the guise of serving Xie Lian (I’d put learning the Banyue tongue, finding out about the Gilded Banquet, collecting swords, beating the 33 officials etc., in this category) and things that maybe could be but...are not really (e.g., his friendship alliance with He Xuan, Paradise Manor* in general, the Gambling Den, learning the Wuyong tongue, bullying Qi Rong*, bullying FengQing*, playing with gold foil palaces, etc.)
(*these are ones that like...could be said to be for Xie Lian and I think he might say are for Xie Lian but also have a personal element that is just for him.
Like yes Paradise Manor is a lavish and well-stocked residence fit for a god or crown prince...but it’s also a luxurious and extravagant collection of all the things he couldn’t have in life. it’s like giving a kid a credit card with no limit and letting them run wild through uh. Fuck. A Fancy Department Store.
And sure Qi Rong was awful and turned on Xie Lian in pretty damning ways, but I also genuinely think part of Hua Cheng’s grudge with him is from the childhood abuse and from just...hatred that Qi Rong is around and looks like Xie Lian and gets to be there when Hua Cheng can’t find Xie Lian (which is about Xie Lian but for Hua Cheng).
Similarly with FengQing, sure a lot of his hate is for them abandoning Xie Lian—but he doesn’t even know till Book 3 when they abandoned him, and consider how much more he hates Mu Qing, the guy he blames for kicking him out of the army, etc. Some of it is totally “in service” to Xie Lian but some of it is because Hua Cheng carries a grudge like a goddamn pro and finds catharsis in beating the shit out of immortals who bounce back and can’t stop tripping over themselves and onto his blade.)
#hua cheng#tgcf#tgcf meta#long post#i'm sorry i cannot be concise or clear with my thoughts :<#this is why i write fic#bc i can just mash these interpretations through prose and then they turn out more clearly#....i think#i hope anyway bc this sure as fuck isn't that clear
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HELP i just copy and paste bc i type way faster on my computer and i normally rmb to delete what i respond to but. not that time ig.
i got accepted into 3/4 i applied to, it's just. choosing. that is v hard for me bc 2 of them are really good schools.
TURN DOWN HARVARD????? the one i got denied from was ivy league equivalent i cant even imagine getting in omg
im so out of shape too dw LMAOOO i used to do like... 8 mile hikes and shit easily but now??? gl getting me to do 1.5 miles 😭😭😭i used to take the bus, yeah, it would be 2 hrs in the morning and 2-3 in the evening. sucked!! do not recommend!! my mom drives me now, and when i go to college im just gonna take the shuttle or walk everywhere
NAUUURRR i hope u get qiqi soon!! i have her c1 on na and c0 on asia, she just. rlly loves me. speaking of my asia acc my luck is absolutely mf INSANE there why do i have c3 lisa and like c2 kaeya... starter chars are so rare HELLAUR???
my yanfei is c6 and i need to fix her artis and crown her, but she hits a good 50k when she crits. my highest on NA is 61k melt from ganyu,, but thats bc none of my dps chars are nukers, yk? like xiao and ganyu r both multihit
my eula hit 135k w a lvl 6 ult on asia but her artifacts are awful, i need to farm for her more. it's so annoying to farm for two accs tho LMAOOOOO
i was helping brooke unlock and run the new domain a couple of times ( we were... very slow) and eula hit at most 45k bc her ratio and talents r so awful LMAOOO albedo carried yes king
i got into 127 first, i think it's just that dream is closer to my age? so their humor matches mine more. and mark/jaehyun were my first biases and i still have soft spots for them so ig i can be considered loyal? like i stan half the group in almost every group i like,, but it doesn't change once i find the Ones.
i kind of hate the beach bc it's... boring? LMAOOOO like when u go frequently it's like 😴😴😴ok seen it im done. we normally go once or twice a year for a week </3 that is so long to do nothing but sit on SAND i hate sand
i want to write on my sideblog bc im trying to regrow a following that's more active and reads longer fics, since my current one is so reaction-centric and i know most of them r from 2 years ago and have deleted tumblr </3
it's working so far, i think? like i get asks sometimes or people at least wanting to be on the taglist which is more than i can say for main 😭😭😭
omg yeah dw abt it, i was just curious <3 i do know im a lil nervous making new mutuals now and i've only been on the very fringes of the plagiarism dramas and everything
HAHAH NONO UR GOOD when i just have my laptop, i copy paste it into notes and then reply and then type and then paste my response into the ask again LOLL it's so complex for what 🤧
deciding on my college was also rlly difficult for me :'') i took like a good month to weigh in all my acceptances and eventually went to the one i felt the most comfortable at and thought would be the best for me <33 omg yeah my high school was pretty competitive so quite a few people got into ivy leagues, but everyone was surprised that that one boy turned down harvard bc he's always had high ambitions and is a genius 😳 but i think it all came down to finances and he's happier at the college he ended up choosing tbh so i'm glad for him 🥰 plus ivy leagues are corrupt and scary and i don't think i want to go to a university where the student climate is so cutthroat LMFAO
god yeah my thighs are dying rn <//3 i hiked 16 miles with my friends once and tbh that was the worst HAHAH i was fine for the 7(??) ish miles there but walking back was sooo painful + 2 of those miles was on sand so it was a struggle. i don't think i could walk properly for 3 days after that HAHAH and i cut my ankle mid-hike so 🤕 2-3 hours ??? god i would fall asleep or something i could never 😭
my luck kinda sucks on both accs 💀 i don't think i've ever hit pity early and i have like c3 mona and c2 jean LMFAO but omg yeah starter cons are sooo good 😭 my friend manx mained kaeya for a while and kept getting lisa cons instead of kaeya HAHAH and i always get amber cons even tho i never use her 😳 cat got a kaeya con the other day and i freaked out LMAOAO where's my kaeya constellation 😩
i want c6 yanfei soooo bad i have her at c4 rn but her build is kinda good so im itching to get two more constellations 🙏 i feel like i barely use my NA acc anymore HAHAH i just spend so much time on my asia one and don't have time to work on both 🤧 but maybe i'll start working on my NA acc again so that i can build diluc !! 💖 i still need to play the new archon quest i've been doing a bunch of world quests but im proud bc i usually never get those done and push it off to the end <//3
ooh yeah i get that !! i adore 127 and wayv and watch content for them but dream is like the group i always go back to to watch content 💗 lately i've been ditching them to watch svt content tho sorry dream <//3
yeah where i am people go to the beach like every week so it gets tiring after a while. i hate sand in my shoes and how cold the ocean is and how scary the waves are so !! im out. my roommates actually invited me out to the beach with them today and i was like nooooo so i hid out to write/do homework :'] but yeah same i hate sand when it gets wet and sticks to you but i like it when you don't get wet and just can like ,, lay on the warm sand :')
ooh yeah that makes sense :o i just make sideblogs bc i'm so nitpicky with the organization HAHAH when i made this blog i didn't tell anyone i was hyuckworld/tyonfs for a month or two because i wanted to build my own rep 🌸
omg yeah im traumatized from my wattpad days because i would stumble upon clout chasers who only wanted to be my friend to either get me to read their fics or become friends with my friends 😣 i was so wary about reading rec’d fics for a while HAHAH but now i’ve just started finding my own fics to read and it’s fun discovering more <33 i have a list for ao3 too 🥰
i try to handle all plagiarism issues privately bc i hate bringing discourse onto my blog but the ask someone sent me sort of made it impossible for me to not post it publicly 😞 plus it was clear that person was just blatantly copy pasting a bunch of writers fics sooo <//3 i rlly hope this all ends soon gosh
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6,7,8,9 🤪
Only seeing this today 🥺😭 thank you Fiona!!!
6. Share a spicy take.
I've completely lost perception on what's spicy and what's mild due to Internet brain rot, but I think my hottest takes are:
Yoko is amazing and she's done nothing wrong, ever
(okay, maybe she did some wrong things, but like, in a "humans are complicated and flawed" way probably not in "i'm literally a cartoon villain" way; and she's not shown the same grace we give men (cough—john specifically—cough) everything she does is interpreted in the harshest possible light and I just don't think that's how people work and it has a lot to do with sexism and racism and me saying this is not me being like uwu yoko is perfect (as I've seen people argue in the tags like that saying she suffered from racism is contributing to "the girlbossing of yoko" instead of like.... Dude she was a Japanese woman in America literally less than 15 yrs after there were putting Japanese people in internment camps, SO...) Also, her music is Good Actually and you could make the argument that it's been as influential as The Beatles, I'M NOT MAKING IT RN but you could make it, and it would go like this: without "Kiss Kiss Kiss" and "Give me Something", there's no Kanye's "808s and Heartbreak" (THE MOST INFLUENTIAL ALBUM OF THE 2000s imho there's a hot take for ya), and then there's no Drake.)
Another maybe-hot take: John was 100% almost for sure physical and certainly emotionally abusive to his partners (Cynthia and Yoko), and me saying this is not me "cancelling" john lennon or whatever, it's just like, holding two thoughts in our minds. He grew up in an era where this was normalized, expected, and good, and he struggled a lot with anger and his views on masculinity. But it still happened.
7. What is a Beatles-discourse topic that needs to die?
Why they broke up. Fuck. They broke up because money, and coke, and human relationships, and the complexity inherent to intimacy and being known, and at this point it feels like looking at a prism, there's all these projections and you can't and will never perceive the reality of the object. Not even if you got to sit through an actual honest to go Paul McCartney therapy session would you get closer to anything resembling Actual Truth, we as a society need to let it go.
8. What do you think makes the Beatles fandom uniquely fun?
Women! I'm joking but also not 😂 I think the passion and creativity of the people in the fandom (especially women and girls) is unparalleled, and the fan-made stuff sometimes is even more fun than the original-stuff (like covers, compilations, art) i'm always floored by the level of talent and insight of the people in this fandom
9. What is the main thing that makes the music special to you?
Alright I don't know how to actually organize how much i feel about this, I'm not a fancy music person, so I'll just share a story:
I have a friend who hated the Beatles. Like, she absolutely despised them, mostly because she'd only met male Beatles fans, and they'd been so shitty to her that she'd just developed an immediate hatred to ever even giving their music a chance. We were at the beach, and upon hearing this, I was like: you know what, no. The Beatles are for the girls. The Beatles are for the people. There's a reason why they're The Beatles, and it's this: they were never precious about their music and who enjoyed it. They made joyful music, music that spoke to things deep in their souls and then they had the amazing experience of seeing other people being like "yes, this is inside my soul too". I truly believe they never got tired of that feeling. They made music to help people, and to help themselves, and to make the world a bit of a better place. Even their saddest songs are never completely unhopeful, and that's because they loved each other, and they suffered together, and to quote that one poem, whenever they were down, there was another one of them who was willing to be "No, we're going to climb out of this hole together! This is not our grave!"
And then I put on "Hey, Jude", and we watched the sun set over the brilliant ocean near Lisbon and I told her, "Doesn't your soul just want to scream along? Don't you feel that na na na na deep inside your bones? Don't you feel the joy of taking a sad song and making it better? And then getting to sing it out, scream it out, make it better better better better BETTER? Imagine being so sad, going through the depths of pain, fitting the whole spectrum of human experience into your songs, and then still making it soar like that. Doesn't it feel like being loved? Doesn't it make you happy?"
Anyway, that's why I love The Beatles.
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