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#nct jisung angst
philly-interlude · 16 days
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[11:51 AM]
"have you ever thought of leaving her?"
"...why do you ask?"
"i'm asking you a question"
"...sometimes-"
you heard two men chatting behind the slightly opened door of the rooftop, surely it was your boyfriend jisung and his bestfriend.
your hands grip the handles, hesitating whether you'll go there or nah, well you don't wanna interrupt their chattering.
you didn't hear the next words coming from his mouth as you left downstairs with the lunch tight on your arms, you didn't know why you left though your mind tells you to listen more of it.
he thought of leaving me sometimes? am i too much for him...or am i not enough...?
you have now overthink
on your way down, you bumped with ara—jisung's ex-crush which is also your... bestfriend? maybe.
"oh? y/n, be careful you have lunch with you, is that for jisung?" she smirked teasingly as she lifted her brow teasing you more, but honestly, it doesn't give you butterflies on your stomach.
without a word, you smiled and just nodded respectfully knowing she's the president of your class lol, "well i have to go somewhere sorry" she was about to say something but you ran from her not wanting to speak more.
oh god how you despised listening to her speaking his name in front of you, you despised how she acts in front of your boyfriend when she borrows his bike, how you despise her in every way whenever she interacts with jisung.
you were never jealous, but when it comes to both of them, jealousy flares anywhere. you just wanna cry and curl up like a baby thinking that they both have feelings for each other but you trust jisung, you love him.
unknown to you, you were crying already from the thought of them having conversations behind your back, but you know she won't betray you because she already has her man, so why cry over jisung cheating with ara? that's just stupid.
or maybe it was just the stereotype that jisung would cheat with her since he liked her before and that he also has a photo with her that we willingly took and posted it on social media with 70 reactions with the caption "true love is with the president" and just- but he hasn't done that with you.
in addition to that, his mother has seen it and more people did, too, especially his and her relatives and close friends and that hurt you more now.
you don't like overreacting when it comes to this but you fished your phone from your skirt pocket and went to your social deleting the highlight you had with both of you and jisung.
"that's radioactive jealousy you have there my friend" a familiar voice interrupted your thoughts and hid the screen of your phone hastily, it was too late as you looked up and saw jisung's bestfriend raising his eyebrows with a small smile towards you.
you stood up and rolled your eyes on him, "shut up, where's jisung?" you plainly asked. he crossed his arms in front of you with a stoic gaze, "you were just sobbing about him and then you're finding him now? the fuck is that mood"
"just answer me"
"nuh-uh let's go somewhere else for you to clear your mind, crying about him and finding him after your rage won't help for the sake of your peace-"
you interrupted him with your index finger touching his lips shutting him up as you inhaled gritting your teeth, "fine let's go" you went past through him and he followed like a dog behind you.
a voice oh-so-familiar caught your ears and halted both you and jisung's friend's steps, him almost bumping into you letting out a small 'ow'
"y/n!" it's jisung, obviously, but he isn't the one that caught your attention- "see i told you we shouldn't walk this path y/n you're so hard-headed-" jisung's bestfriend whispered annoyingly beside you.
you wanna furrow your eyebrows but you don't want to give a negative impression towards your boyfriend especially since it's the only free time you can be with him.
"hi sungie" you hugged each other as you trained your eyes to ara, of course she went with her 'cutie patootie' persuasion just to borrow your boyfriend's bike again.
might as well smell the seat of your bike after she sits on it. your evil side spoke but you shook your head not wanting to be mad and jealous again, you have the worst personality when you get jealous, you know that so you limit your craziness to prevent...homicide.
"have you eaten yet?" jisung asked, "no" you briefly but straightforwardly answered. "attitude, miss" he deadpanned, "what's with you again?" questioned him.
"nothing lol" you giggled and pinched his cheeks and was about to go away from his arms and tell some invalid reasons yet he gripped your arms tightly but softly forcing you to stay with him, that man's dead serious and he ain't ballin'.
jisung pulled you somewhere hidden (a/n: it's not what you think it is-) and cornered you on the wall, he looked at you dead in the eye, "go on what's with the attitude? i know you y/n don't trip me" he lowly said.
but you're a bit prideful, "you know me? then you gotta know when to avoid people i despise too, i'm not being possessive, i honestly don't care sung but when it comes to her it's a different story.
it's a fucking different feeling because i feel like you still have those sparks on your eyes whenever you look at her whenever she speaks to you like- whenever...i don't know i can't trust you with her, i am jealous, of course i admit that i hate everything you did to her that you didn't do to me...i-
i hate to think that you liked her more before than you do to me as your...girlfriend", your knees went weak and eventually gave up from being overwhelmed, you hate crying in front of him over a small thing.
he went down you slowly, his glittery eyes looking at you sadly, but the words that came out from his mouth surprised you.
"you're overreacting again" he pulled you close to him and brought you back to the classroom.
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moonlightdreamzz · 9 months
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🎧 ➤ What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish
“What?” Jisung is frantic and his voice cracks as he speaks. He’s trying so hard to contain his emotions, but it’s obvious he’s incredibly hurt. His eyes refuse to stay still, his breathing is erratic, and the metaphoric sun that usually rested over his head when he was talking to you has turned into clouds.
You want to look at him longer, yet. your eyes can’t help but to linger towards yourself in the corner of the FaceTime call. The bags beneath your eyes are quite dark, and you try to find some light in your eyes, but there is none. No one, not even him can deny the fact that you are absolutely drained, both physically and mentally. He’s been pestering you for weeks now, all in attempt for you to tell him something, but truthfully you don’t know what’s going on either.
You’ve known Jisung since the both of you were sixteen years old, you started dating when you turned twenty, and now you’re twenty-one. On Fridays, he buys you dinner and every Sunday, he gives you a bouquet of roses. Every night, no matter how tired he is, he calls you to say goodnight. He tries. He's an incredible person, and you know that anyone would be lucky to be cared for by him, so why isn’t it enough anymore?
This feeling—you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Just a few months ago were you so open and full of life. The best way you can describe it is…numb. And you’ve done every possible thing you could to feel, but you can’t.
“Whatever is going on, I can handle it. What I can’t handle is us not being together.”
Your heart pangs in your chest and sorrowful smile now rests on your face. You’ve only seen Jisung this emotional two times—the first being when he considered leaving Dream due to stress, the second being the day he told you he loved you for the first time, and now you have this to add to the list.
“It just doesn’t make sense to be together when I never see you, Jisung. When I need you, but can’t have you. I’d rather be alone.”
“Where is this coming from?! I love you, Y/N. I’ve been trying to be here for you in the best way I can. You know that.”
You have a million things you want to say, but all of it will hurt him, and you don’t want to hurt him more than you already have. You dwelled on this for so long, wondering if you’ll regret this once you get better, but you’re not better right now, so that doesn’t matter. Your finger gently hangs up the phone, turning it off. All of sudden, you feel an ache that explodes throughout your entire body. Your lips are quivering, and your tearducks release what feels like years of imprisoned tears down your cheek. You’re laughing and sobbing at the same time because of course—after months of being clogged and numb, it’s only right that Jisung is the one thing that can make you feel.
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zchnlswrld · 10 months
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JISUNG’S BROKEN MELODY: ONE LAST TIME
NCT DREAM’S BROKEN MELODIES
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Jisung stood there in the phone box, the cracked roof barely did anything to save him from the rain leaving his jeans and cotton shirt stuck to his body. He hated the feeling of it against him but there were bigger things than cringing at the feeling of wet fabric and heavy jeans.
His hand rummaged around his front pockets for anymore spare change, the phone box standing over him in such an intimidating way it made him look almost pathetic. He was. He was pathetic. He willingly stormed out (embarrassingly, without his belongings) and now he was here ready to beg for you back.
The boy checked his other pocket and pulled out a few coins. The dim light from the broken street lamp made it hard to see which coins they were no matter now many times he flattened them out on his hand and hunched over to check the other side. He doubt he even had the right amount but he pushed them in the machine regardless.
As soon as the machine made sound he began pushing in your number as fast as he could, still slow enough to make sure that it was the correct number. He didn’t need to think much as he knew your number off by heart. He usually called it everyday just not in these circumstances.
When the phone started ringing he snatched the phone off the holder and placed it to his ear before he leaned against the plastic wall next to him, tapping his foot. He wasn’t sure what was making him feel like he was suffocating right now, it was either the fact he went out of his way to say things to hurt you or the small size of the plastic phone box. Right now he was going to put it down to the size of the space he was in but he knew it wasn’t because he never had an issue with small spaces before. Maybe it’s because you were in them with him, hiding from the members any time you guys kissed like teenagers hiding from their parents.
The rings were taunting him, teasing him. Would you pick up? Would you not? Considering the time you probably wouldn’t but you’ve never ignored a call from him before. Ever. The time never mattered for you because you were happy just talking to him.
God, what was wrong with him? The tapping of his foot increased as did his breathing. You always picked up the phone so why weren’t you now, he continued to ponder until the ringing stopped.
He quickly stands up straight, “Honey, I’m-”
“Please leave your message af-” Jisung slams the phone back on the holder and sighs before going through his change again. He makes sure he has enough this time for another call in case you don’t pick up again.
Carefully he pushes his money in the slot, calms his breathing and dials your number. The taunting ringing begins again as does the tapping of his foot.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
“I can’t do us anymore.” It’s out there now.
Jisung’s brows frown as he prepares a response. “Sweetheart, we can fix it. I can fix it. I know I can, I’m just stressed you know that.”
On the other end of the phone you look disgusting. Hair a mess, tears down your face, lips quivering, Jisung’s shirt hanging over your body feeling so foreign. The smell faded, the warmth gone. Your sniffles tell him everything he needs to know. Your hands are shaking, you’re holding back a heart wrenching sob, you want him to comfort you and you both know he can’t do that for you.
“This distance is unbearable,” You sob and Jisung’s heart sinks. “You’re right in front of me but never there. I don’t know what’s going on with you but I can’t do us anymore and it’s not my fault. None of this is my fault!”
Jisung quickly responds, “I know honey, none of this is your fault, it’s all mine.” You know he can’t see but you shake your head.
“You were horrible to me Jisung. You ripped my heart out of my chest and shred it right in front of me! How could you?” You respond angrily.
“No! No! It’s not like that and you know that! I love you.” He says emphasising every word.
He hears your breathing quieten and realises your phone is now away from your ear. “No! Just let me explain, please. Please…”
A moment of silence passes and Jisung is almost convinced you’ve put the phone down, he looks down to check the change in his in case he does need to call again.
“Please don’t, Ji.” You sob once more and Jisung’s body begins to hurt, the pain in his heart spreads around his body. “It’s 2:09am, you’re supposed to be in bed next to me, but you’re not. Where are you, Ji?” Your voice cracks at the end of the question and he feels tears well up in his eyes, he quickly wiped them away before they can fall. “You left me alone… again.”
At this point you can barely speak and Jisung doesn’t know what to do with himself. His grip on the phone tightens until his knuckles turn white.
“I love you, you know that.”
“No, I don’t.”
All the tension in his body released and he looked up. What do you mean? You know he loves you, he tells you all the time.
“Just because you say it doesn’t mean I feel it.” You shake your head, you know he can’t see you but he knows what you’re doing.
The call falls silent once again and Jisung hears a warning on his end of the phone that the call will run out soon. He rushes to place another coin in, earning him another 3 minutes to talk to you.
“I love you. I. Love. You.” He opens firmly. “I love the way you wake me up in the morning and I love the way you go to bed with me. I love how excited you get when we have plans to go to and I love how happy you are to lay with me after a long day. I-” He cuts himself off to sniffle and take a deep breathe, not wanting to cry. “I love the way you understand me, and I’m so sorry I said you didn’t. I love the way you always want to make sure I’m alright, and I’m sorry I called you names because of that.”
He takes another deep breath and you take this as your chance to speak. “Saying ‘I love you’ won’t fix it…”
“I’m not done!” Tears are falling now and there’s nothing he can do about it. “I love your smile. I love your smell. I love that when you eat a food you like your nose scrunches and you immediately start giving it to other people. I love when you’re excited and you do those little feet taps.” As he think about it he laughs, his heart warming for a moment. “I love you and nothing can change that.”
Jisung waits for a response but is once again met with sobbing. “Y/N, I’ll come home and we-”
You respond with a sound of disagreement. “I can’t do us anymore. I need a break. You pull me in with such lovely things and then push me away when it’s convenient for you and that’s not fair.” To Jisung you sounded like a child right now, you think he thinks you’re pitiful but that’s far from the truth because right now all he wants to do is hold you and tell you how sorry he really is.
“A relationship, our relationship, is supposed to be give and take but all I do is give and all you do is take. What about me? What do I get for loving you so deeply?” You question and the line falls silent, Jisung still there but unable to say anything.
Once again he places another coin in the machine. “I’m sorry I hurt you but please, please don’t go.” He was aware of how pathetic he sounded right now, like a child that couldn’t get their way. As more tears fell he continued to beg.
It was almost painful to hear. All you wanted to do was have him here with you, you would place a kiss on his cheek before putting your chin on top of his head. You would stroke his back and sway side to side until he had calmed down. But you can’t, he walked away. You were always there and every single time he walked away with no explanation as to why.
“It’s like you said Ji, I’m not an idol, I don’t know how it is. I’m just a burden who has nothing left to do in life. I’ll never understand you. You walked away and I’ll never understand why.” He doesn’t reply so you continue. “You said those things to me, Ji.” You whisper, unsure if the line even picked it up.
“But I can fix it, please just give me time!”
“Why?! So you can walk back in, hurt me a bit more and leave again?! I can’t do this anymore Jisung!” You’ve never shouted at Jisung like that. It was horrifying.
Oh. That stung. Jisung? Not Ji or honey or bean or sweetheart? Oh.
You quickly wiped your tears. “I will get Jaemin or Jeno or anyone to pick you up and you can stay with them but right now I can’t deal with you.” You told him firmly.
He shook his head. “Please, I can fix it. I promise. Just tell me what to do. Please.” His grip on the phone once again tightened.
Upon realising his stance won’t change you decide to take a different approach. “Jisung.” You say looking down at your promise ring, coincidentally he does the same. “You’ve made me lots of promises before, and you have fulfilled one of them.” You try to sound strong but you end up whispering, a whimper follows, remember the pain of the broken promises.
“One last chance, please. If I break another promise you can leave but not now, please.” He looked down at his change as the call time warning came through again.
“We can talk when we’re both rational. I promise, when have I ever not gone through with a promise.” You spoke softly. The ring on your finger made you feel sick, how could you let it get this far.
The tension in Jisung’s body rose and his senses heightened. “Don’t you dare lie to me. Just stop lying! I love you and all I ever want is to be with you, please, you know that!”
Another warning came through. “I want to go home, Y/N…”
“I’ll call Jeno or Jaemin to take you home.” You try to soothe him, your own tears falling and sobs going silent.
“Where?”
“The dorm.”
“But you’re my home… your warmth every time you hug me, your smell that’s so fresh, your eyes that look at me so lovingly. That’s home.”
“Well, you need to make me feel the same way. Right now I feel like I’m just another person to you, you don’t make me feel special or like you want to be with me forever. You make me feel like you can throw me aside as there are so many people out there that want you which is so hypocritical because you have spent nights comforting me when I thought you would. And then you did!”
Jisung froze. You were right. This whole time, sometimes he said you were right to stop you crying (that way his heart hurt less, and you knew that), he was wrong. He shouldn’t have listened to that stupid voice in the back of his head.
It told him you didn’t understand, you didn’t know him, that you were with him because he was an idol (the exact idol you spent years crushing on and met by chance later on in life). That voice told him that because it didn’t work out for Mark and Hana that he should push you away before you leave him the way Hana left Mark. He was sick.
“I love you and...” So, you still loved him. It wasn’t the same as before which is entirely his fault but you loved him, right? “I think it’s best if we stayed apart for a while.”
He started to panic, “Wait, Y/N, pl-”
Thank you for using our services at this time.
He looked back down at his hand, this time no change was present. Not a single penny.
“Fuck!” He shouts as he throws the phone down, it hits the wall and phone box before swaying. Pushing the plastic door open and slamming behind him, the slam startling any wildlife in the area, he lets out a sound of frustration.
What is he supposed to do? He doesn’t know how long you want to be apart. He doesn’t know how to live without you. He can barely go a day without wanting as little as a text from you.
Jisung hunches over, placing his hands on his knees as he cries as a car pulls up. He hears two doors shut and footsteps, activating his fight or flight.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and quickly pushes it off, standing up straight. Jeno and Haechan staring back at him. “Hey, hey. It’s just us.” Haechan states, moving back in to place his arm over his shoulder and usher him to the car.
“Get off me!” He shouts and them, pushing Haechan back and making Jeno take a step back. “What do I do?” He lifts his hands to his face, trying to wipe any tears.
Jeno wraps his hand around his wrist, pulling one hand away from his face. “Come on,” he says warmly “before anyone sees you.” Jisung rips his hand out of his grip and takes as few steps away from the pair, who are stunned.
“Y/N doesn’t want to see me, what do I do?” He begs them both for an answer but is met with silence.
They both leave him to cry and shout for a few moments longer, realising he needs that more than comfort. Even if they were to comfort him he’d only cry about how he wasn’t in your arms but theirs instead.
His sobs were heart wrenching but, as much as they didn’t want to say it, he had brought this upon himself. He chose to push you away, he chose to make false promises, he chose to walk out instead of talking to you your house, he chose to say those horrific things about you.
“If it helps,” Haechan interjects and Jeno fulls a face at him to tell him to stop “Y/N sent us here after the first call when they didn’t pick up.” He says awkwardly to Jisung. “They said that you would call and we’ve been looking for you since.” Jisung turns back to face them, his sobs quietening down.
Jeno adds on, “Chenle is there now. Getting your things. He text say that he wasn’t allowed to take some of your shirts.” He laughs and Jisung smiles at the thought of you holding onto his things.
He slowly walks to the older boys. “There won’t be a chance of reconciliation if you stay here.” Haechan says as he lists his hand up to wipe some of Jisung’s tears, they don’t stop falling but he doesn’t stop wiping them in hopes of giving him some sort of comfort.
The three get in the car and go to their dorm, the street light still flickering as the phone sways side to side after Jisung’s outburst. A new crack had be placed in the plastic structure from where the phone hit it when he let go, representative of the crack in his heart. A crack he placed there himself.
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Taglist (reply to masterlist post to join): @sukistrawberry @lovesuhng @shwizhies @niinjo @renjunoya @carelessshootanonymous @hyuckissed @funkygoose @fymine @asteriaskingdom
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itsthe-neo-zone · 2 years
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S𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀:  Next time listen to your gut instinct, listen to your senses and everything your subconscious tells you. Oh and also try not to have a fight before you board a 10 hr 45 min flight to the other side of the globe, you've probably then jinxed yourself. At least that’s what it feels like when you end up in a plane crash. 
Did you know that there’s a 1 in 3.37 billion chance of dying in a commercial airline.  If you would've told me that statistic before I left Australia I would've laughed and shrugged it off. Facts like that are cool to hear, -interesting even on a boring day. But when fate ends up picking you as that one chance out of billions. To crash on a remote island between the pacific and Indian ocean with nothing and nobody around for miles. That’s when the sniggering stops and I only realised that when it was too late to turn back. Another fun fact for you. The survival rate is supposedly quite high, yet here I am stranded with nobody, that is until I meet a young boy, looking to be my age scuffed and on the verge of life and death, what do I do now... 
How do we survive this?
-------------------------------------------------- #Index info:
G𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: Plane-crash, Dystopian, Survival Au! strangers to lovers trope
Type: Long Series  
W𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 18+ scenes in later chapters, some comedy and humor, slow romance, forced into a situation kinda trope, strangers to lovers, Accidents and strong description of injuries. Strong language throughout the chapters, Dystopian, survival theme, mentions of tension and side characters deaths.
T𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: you may ask to be added to this series’ tag-list by dropping a comment underneath this post specifically. 
Authors Note: This is a jisung x reader 18+ fanfic, if you’re uncomfortable with the concept then please do not interact with the fic or continue. Minors Do not go further/ interact.
-------------------------------------------------- #Media: 
- Collages - 
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- Recommended playlist - [coming soon]
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CHAPTERS: 
CH - 1   CH - 2   CH - 3    CH - 4    CH - 5    CH - 6    CH - 7    CH - 8    CH - 9    CH - 10
CH - 11   CH - 12   CH - 13    CH - 14    CH - 15    CH - 16    CH - 17    CH - 18    CH - 19    
CH - 20   CH - 21   CH - 22   CH - 23 ....
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#Disclaimer: this story or any piece of fan-fiction I write is purely that, fan-fiction and not based on true events, I do not own any characters but the ones I created. Names based on real persons do not reflect them or affiliate with them. The plot-line and idea belong to the writer (me) and are therefore mine to upload and use. Anyone caught re-uploading, translating or stealing ideas or work on this platform or any other will be taken action against immediately. DO NOT copy, translate or re-upload any work of mine onto any platform, i give no permission of this whatsoever. All credit goes to their respective owners, images do not belong to me. Only written fiction.  
~~~ Seola - It’stheneozone© All rights reserved.
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shoxxcc · 1 year
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How Would You Feel?
How would you feel when telling lies has become a routine for a relationship that was once complete and perfect? Having lesser time for each other, two people learnt to be distant with one another—literally and emotionally. Will they be able to fix the broken pieces of their love as a whole? Or will they stay broken with their unspoken lies? park jisung x reader g: angst, fluff
wc: 3, 708
warnings: characters lie (to not be a burden, etc.), characters feel like burdening when it comes to relying or depending on the other, characters blame themselves, mention of anxiety, major exams ('cause why not)
The usual pretty smile you see from him, his giggles and adorable laughter, his deep lulling voice, his sweet compliments, his how are you's—where did it all go?
Jisung and you are both situated on the bed; backs facing each other.
What happened to your relationship? You were doing great as you can recall. How did it go this way?
"Ji?"
"Hm?"
"How was practice?"
"Good." Discontented with his short answer, Y/N nodded, even though the other couldn't see her before Jisung spoke up again. "We won, as always."
"That's great. You did great today..."
"Hm,"
It was the driest conversation you've ever had with him. It wasn't what you're supposed to be receiving as a response. You could always picture the same thing he would always say whenever you compliment him or tell him how he did, because you never fail to show and tell him that he's always amazing no matter what.
It was supposed to be, "Really? Aww thank you, love. I was worried. I love you so much."
You missed and love everything about him but this side he's showing you these past few weeks. His awkwardness, the way his cheeks and ears heat up when he's flustered, him complimenting you every chance he gets. Him safely wrapping you in his arms when you sleep or when you're right beside each other. Him who randomly talks about the universe matters out of the blue. His weird side, his clumsiness, his humor, his gentle and soft touches, him sulkily saying to let him be and just watch you when you tell him off that he's been staring at you for too long. Him telling you that Chenle hit his butt again and that you will confront the said suspect for he had hurt your baby.
Everything.
Weeks since it had all started, both of you didn't really have time for each other as you were preparing for your own upcoming exams. And only today, you managed to head straight and come over to his apartment after a long exam. Those days when you both didn't have time for each other, you didn't realize he was growing distant with you. No daily texts coming from him, unless you message him first. Not even asking how you're doing, and when you do ask him, he'd reply so shortly. And you weren't used to it, because usually, the moment you ask him how his day went, he would tell you the whole story regardless if his day went well or not.
You faced his side and propped one of your elbows to sneak up on him, placing your chin on his arm, "You okay, baby? You're quiet these days. Is there something wrong?" You would lie if you said you're oblivious to not seeing that there's something wrong—your boy doesn't act like himself around you anymore. Still, you asked him, hoping he was just tired and sad.
"I'm tired, y/n."
You froze. He called you by your name, and not his signature endearment for you— love.
You tried to regain your composure, as if his coldness didn't affect you, "Mind telling me what happened?"
"I had a really long practice earlier and I'm tired, so if you don't mind, I'm gonna sleep first."
You felt your eyes pool with hot stinging liquid, as you slowly lay back on the mattress, staring at the open ceiling, pulling your blanket up to your neck as you crumble and bite your lips to prevent yourself from crying.
What were you being so sensitive for?
He said he's tired and he wanted to sleep first and you still try to push the buttons. What was wrong with that?
Why aren't you used to it? His cold responses. It's as if he didn't want to talk to you. But you tried to understand because he's tired—as what he had said.
"Okay, I'm sorry... Sleep well, alright? I love you." you propped yourself up and placed a goodnight kiss to his head. You were contemplating doing it actually. Thinking he'd shake you off and your physical affection, but he didn't.
You stared at the ceiling again. Overthinking things that you aren't used to.
He would always kiss you back when you're about to sleep. From your forehead, to your nose, and to your lips, sometimes he'd sneak up kisses to your cheeks when you're asleep and he loves to kiss the crown of your head the most whenever he feels like it. He'd always give you kisses before you sleep, always.
But why isn't he giving you at least one now?
Still you tried not to mind because he was tired.
"I was wondering," you begin again, sensing that he was still awake, listening, "What happened to us?"
You know you wouldn't be able to receive a proper answer or response, it has been like this for a few weeks now.
"Baby," you felt your lips tremble, wanting to just let it all out, "Answer me please... I can't sleep thinking if I've done something wrong that I feel like you start to change and become distant from me."
It was suffocating. Being in the same room with him, knowing you wouldn't be able to sort your thoughts as long as he doesn't tell you. It suffocates you to the core that you're crying because things suddenly just went wrong for the both of you, and without you realizing.
You couldn't last the atmosphere that night with him in that room without him cuddling you as if there's no tomorrow, that you found yourself in the kitchen for a glass of water. And then to the bathroom to splash your face with cold water to stop crying, but to no avail, it didn't help.
You decided to just spend the night on his living room couch, uncomfortably trying to situate yourself in order to have at least enough hours of good sleep from the sleepless nights you had these past few weeks because of overthinking.
You hated how the room and natural temperature made you curl your body and reach for your legs to emit warmth from yourself because you weren't used to not having Jisung pulling you impossibly closer to his chest under the blanket for warmth. You didn't really mind bringing your pillows and blanket down because you know you still wouldn't be able to sleep properly, yet you still hoped you'd get a good amount of sleep for tonight.
Because like Jisung, you are also tired.
Few good minutes after your breakdown, you were thankfully pulled to sleep. Just that you cried yourself to sleep.
Unknown to your sleeping state, Jisung had opened the door to his room, finding your pitiful self on his living room couch. His apartment wasn't as lively anymore; that even at the slightest noises from outside his room, he could hear—like your muffled cries that you tried to cover before it died down because you fell asleep.
It broke him.
He carefully strolled down the stairs without making any loud noise, carrying the blanket from his bedroom— thoughts occupied with how you chose to distance yourself from him so you would be able to cry without him seeing or hearing. How suffocating has it been that your heart couldn't take it anymore, but still chose to act firm around him?
When he neared your spot seeing you shivering and frowning, Jisung felt his heart sink—and so did his knees.
He felt awful. How could he treat you like this? How dare he bother fill your mind with confused thoughts because of your current situation? Just how much of an asshole can he be for you to even stay by his side and love him still?
It is stabbing his heart that you are still trying to build back your relationship while he... he's close to giving up, even in himself.
His cold treatment to you didn't mean he was falling out of love—that he's so sure of.
He was occupied—mentally; and both with time and responsibilities.
When you got sick for three days, he wasn't aware. Though he asks you how you're doing every single free time he gets even if he's so tired. Jisung wanted to be sure you were doing okay, however, that night he asked why you didn't show up to school during the day (in courtesy of your best friend who told him), you made up a lie saying you were in Busan for a sudden family reunion which will last for 3 days because you know he has upcoming major exams he's trying to catch up along with his dance and soccer practice. If you would've told him you were sick, he'd ruin his study schedule in no time just to rush over to see you and take care of you himself.
After the three days of your "trip to Busan", Jisung informed you the night before that he'd pick you up to school and get breakfast together at his favorite café. He was so excited to tell you he had almost unexpectedly got perfect scores for their major exams regardless of his tight schedules as a student, a dancer, and as an athlete. Jisung was so giddy just by imagining that you'd jump in joy with him at the news and to hear you praise him whilst hugging him and even giving him sweet rewards. He was looking forward to it.
But at that day, the boy went to school alone—downhearted.
When he arrived at your residence the next day, he had met your mom from the outside who was getting ready to start her car to work. The woman who hadn't seen the boy for long greeted Jisung and went towards him to ask how he's been, and so did Jisung. But the mind of the younger one was itching to ask about you, his girlfriend, when your mother slipped, forgetting the agreement you made with her to lie if ever she meets Jisung and asks about your well-being and whereabouts. After realizing that she had told Jisung she was finally gonna go back to work after having straight work leaves because you were sick, she knew she was too late to make up excuses because Jisung had already barged into your house and headed straight into your room where he sees you, bedridden.
Your mom had followed the frantic boy to your room, who was just standing near your door, eyes brimming with tears before he looked down his feet and turned to your mom to politely tell her to leave you two alone. After your mother had gone, he closed the door; stepping slowly to not wake your peaceful sleeping state. School had long forgotten when Jisung decided to sit and drop his backpack on the floor to see you closer.
He felt so betrayed yet guilty. Jisung felt so betrayed that you had to lie so you wouldn't disturb his important schedules and he felt so guilty for actually believing you and leaving you like this while he's out there trudging happily because of his great news. It felt so off and now that he had seen you like this, he wished he wasn't so happy about getting those grades and for winning another soccer practice. He wished he would've known you were sick and he would've taken care of you while he fits his study schedule to his other appointments.
Why did you have to lie though? He would've been content with getting a passing score while being beside you—not that he thinks you're a burden to his studies and to his practices. You were far being a burden to his life; you make his days better. All Jisung wanted was for you to trust him and to be comfortable with sharing with him 'cause you've been going out for almost two years now, and because he has always wanted to do everything he can for you.
The boy shakingly reached up to your head, feeling your body temperature not too warm—he had guessed you were slowly getting better. One thing he had immediately noticed the moment he came in the room was your pale, skinny face he hadn't almost recognized. You lost too much and he wasn't aware. His thumb had reached to your cheek, rubbing smooth circles where he could feel your cheekbone than your fluffy cheeks more prominent than ever. At the contact, you stirred in your sleep in which he panicked, but you were asleep so soundly to even notice his presence.
"Just why are you like this... I hate how you feel so undeserving and unworthy to take care of." Jisung's lips start to quiver, "You do know I will do anything I can to make you feel happy and safe around me. A-And that by means also feeling safe to share everything you want to share with me and knowing you're never a burden to me."
That day, Jisung managed to take care of you himself without you seeing him every time you stir awake and sometimes looking at your phone for hours before sleeping again. And every time you are awake, Jisung is in the living room. He had rummaged through your refrigerator to see if your mom had made you a porridge that he could just heat up. Well he did. Jisung didn't know why when he felt like luck was with him cause every time he opens your door, you're asleep and he could bring you something to eat and remind you to take your medicines in a note.
Jisung wanted to feed you himself but thinking about the possible horror on your face when you see him beside you and remembering the lies you made up for him to not show up in your house, he resorted to just pretending to be your mom and stayed until dinner when your mother had finally arrived. The woman didn't expect Jisung to stay the whole day and take care of you, thinking you were just gonna have a talk when Jisung asked her to leave you both. She had also learned before Jisung bid her a goodbye, the latter had told her to not tell you he had come and he was with you the whole time.
Since then, when you finally regained your health, you were so focused on catch up on your own exams and you were so excited to finally see your boyfriend who hasn't been texting or calling you for days now.
Jisung just felt afraid—he felt so inferior and unworthy for you.
He watched your peaceful state. This was so familiar. Finally, you managed to sleep. He wanted to carry you back to his bedroom but he wouldn't want to steal the chance of you getting a proper sleep from all the nights you were thinking about the possible things you have done for this relationship to suddenly shift cold. He carefully placed the blanket around you, as he sat on the cold tiled floor.
Jisung reached for your forehead, placing a long, heavy kiss, pulling away when his tears started pooling his eyes and dropping on his cheeks.
"I'm sorry..." he began, "I'm deeply sorry for hurting you, my love..." His tears continued to cascade his cheeks as he carefully watched your face, noticing the dried tears that strolled down your soft ones.
You cried a lot.
"I don't want to rant to your unconscious state right now. I'd be more of a coward if I did so. But I feel like talking right now. I hope we'll get to talk properly tomorrow, hm?" he brushed strands of your hair that got in your face, "I missed you so much, love..." his lips quiver as he started to break down again. "I don't know what has gotten into me lately. You don't deserve this—you don't deserve me..." he wiped his tears away, head hung low, picking with the skin around his nails—a habit he usually does when he's anxious not until you came to his life and helped him manage his anxieties. "If the universe will let me, I will fix us. I will do anything to fix us and get back to normal again. I can't live with the thought that you'll start to get tired and hate me. I need to see your smile and hear you laugh again, run into my arms if you want 'cause I'll catch you and will never let go of you again. But in order to fix everything, I'll have to fix myself first."
You stirred in your sleep when you felt a soft kiss against your forehead, followed by a whispered, "I love you so much, and I'm sorry for everything. I love you..." it felt and sounded familiar, but you thought it was just another part of your dream.
You felt the sunlight from the windows directly hit your face, causing you to wake up from your sleep. You looked through the window, thinking you won't be able to face Jisung today and he wouldn't want to see you, but you shrugged the thought and tried to move when you felt weight above your stomach. How occupied were you that you didn't even notice the thick cover that hovered above you, along with the arm of the person you missed the most?
His forehead was laid flat on the small space beside you, a position that sat on the cold ground.
You panicked at his situation immediately. You don't like it when he's uncomfortable, so you tried to sit up but stayed still instead, since you also didn't want to stir him awake.
So it was really him who kissed your forehead and whispered I love you's and apologies last night, yet you thought it felt and sounded too real to be a dream.
You reached your hand to his that was above your stomach, caressing the back of his palm with your thumb. It was only then that you wished you didn't do that action to his hand because he was awoken by that simple touch, completely forgetting he easily flinches when touched.
He snapped his head immediately, looking at the reason why his hand felt ticklish to finally avert his attention to you who was staring at him.
"Good morning," you mentally hoped he's not mad at your anymore, "love,"
And you shut eyes when Jisung leaned in and kissed your head.
"Good morning, my love," you replied with rather teary eyes, rubbing your thumb on his hand. It's been so long since you woke up to him beside you, greeting you a 'good morning', kissing your forehead, and calling you 'love' again.
You missed this.
"How are you feeling?" you question, and he pursed a smile. God you love it when he smiles, and you're seeing it again right now.
"I don't want to lie, but I don't exactly feel good about how I've been treating you these past few weeks. But I'm happy to just see you this close again, and hearing your voice, greeting me a good morning. I don't want to ruin the start of your day with my explanation, I hope you understand."
"Okay, let's take things slowly. Should we prepare breakfast instead?"
He nodded eagerly, helping you sit up straight before he decided to push himself up to sit on the couch and hug you.
"I missed you," you felt the tremble in his voice, feeling him tighten your hug and his face buried on your neck. "God, I miss this." he pulled away only to hold both sides of your neck, carefully watching your face, as if he hadn't seen it for years and decided to study it again, "You're still angelic as ever, my love." You felt your heart flutter, beating as if it had just resuscitated. There's the Jisung you know, the one who loves to stare at your face and compliment you. "I love you," he leaned and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, "And I'm genuinely sorry for treating you in a way you didn't deserve to be treated." then he placed another soft kiss on your nose, "I was an asshole, but I love you, that's why I'm gonna change and fix us again. I hope you forgive me—at least not now, but let me prove to you that I will not treat you like trash ever again. I hope you give me a chance to explain things that's been bothering me, and apparently—affecting our relationship."
In his eyes were sincerity and courage to change for the best—the sincerity that you wished for so long. You saw how hot liquid cascaded his cheekbones but he was still trying to show you a smile; big, warm hands still on your cheeks, thumbs rubbing against your skin. You held his hands, before removing them off your face, your own hands reaching to hold the sides of his face, leaning in to capture him in a gentle kiss.
You love him so much you decided to give him another chance. You love him so much you easily gave in to his sincere apologies, because you weren't mad at him in the first place; just puzzled. And he was sincere.
"I'll listen, I will always listen. Do talk to me always, okay? 'Cause I'm always ready to hear you out."
Jisung sighed in relief before enclosing you in a warm hug again. "Thank you, I still don't know how I deserved you, but I will repay your kindness and will love you through your best and worst. I love you..."
"You and me; let's always talk, hm?"
"And you and me," Jisung grinned before ruffling your hair, "we should stop lying to each other, it's unhealthy!"
You giggled as you ran your hand to rub his back, "I love you, too; through your best and your worst, I will do."
An overwhelming sense of feeling washed over you when you realized your boyfriend was back to being himself—the Jisung you know and loved the most. And a relieving, breathable air surrounded you both. You weren't suffocated anymore.
Everything was slowly getting manageable again.
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midmourn · 5 months
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“someone sent me a pic of you getting into a girl’s car”
♡ nct dream ﹒ gender neutral!reader genre crack warnings picture of a cockroach LMAO note i literally hate how i wrote this one but here you go😭 sorry if its not as good i am Lacking these days ( masterlist )
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naids4luv · 5 months
Note
hiii! could you do one where dreamies have sort of been cold towards their partner (for whatever reason) and their partner blames themselves for it? 🥹 thank you!
! dreamies acting cold towards you and you blame yourself !
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thank you for requesting !!! i’m sorry it’s posted so late after u requested😭😭
enjoy😋😋
mark and renjun :
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jeno, haechan and jaemin :
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chenle and jisung :
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marksmelodies · 5 months
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Masterlist 🎀
NCT REACTIONS
-nct dream reactions to finding out you’re fwb/ secretly dating another member
-nct dreams reactions to meeting your baby who looks just like their dad for the first time
- nct 127 reactions to finding out you’re fwb/secretly dating another member
-how nct would react during an argument
- nct dream reactions to accidentally getting you pregnant
TEXTS
- nct dreams reactions to you getting off birth control
-dreamies reactions to you wearing revealing clothes around the other members
-nct dream accidentally exposing your relationship
-jisung bf texts
-dreamies jealous of your instagram story
-nct reactions to you on your period
-reader pretending to be a different girl and flirting with the dreamies to see how they react!
-dreamies reactions to “she’s busy rn” prank
-missing dreamies on tour
- suggestive jisung texts
-Jisung's reaction to you being jealous of the members got to touch his butt in public
-nct dream perv reaction from dreamies about your new comeback as an idol with a sexy concept
- dreamies giving you princess treatment!
-dreamies reactions to you being “needy” in public
-chenle suggestive bf texts
- jeno suggestive bf texts
-renjun suggestive bf texts
-johnny & jaehyun bf texts
- dreamies see the reader across the room smiling and they get jealous…
- pranking the dreamies by not blocking the guy who keeps commenting on ur ig post as if ur their gf
-member dreamies asking to cuddle
- suggestive haechan bf texts
- jaemin suggestive bf texts
-nct dream forgetting about your anniversary
- mark suggestive bf texts
- being mad at the dreamies
-dreamies reactions to you taking off your promise ring after a fight Part 2
NCT DREAM
•mark
- give it a rest
-lovestruck
- mark suggestive bf texts
•renjun
- love isn’t easy
- out of everything i love you the most
- renjun suggestive bf texts
•jeno
- the start of something new
- james dean daydream
- jeno suggestive bf texts
- alone at last (dad! jeno
• haechan
- sleep tight
-haechan suggestive bf texts
• jaemin
- 10:30pm
- step by step, little by little
-jaemin suggestive bf texts
• chenle
- stuck like glue
- for better, for worse
- switching my positions for you
- chenle suggestive bf texts
• jisung
-9:35pm
- jisung bf texts
- suggestive jisung texts
- not so innocent
NCT 127
-johnny & jaehyun bf texts
•jaehyun
- my princess
- my princess (ver 2)
OTHER
-forever only (eric sohn x fem reader)
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hwaflms · 13 days
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𐙚˙⋆.˚ nct dream reaction to you touching yourself!
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‧₊˚ 💭 ✩彡 , , 2.5k, smut under the cut [cw: masturbation, degradation, voyeurism, fingering, very mild dubcon in jaemin’s, nudes, allusions to phone sex, established relationship in most, i think that’s it]
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♡ mark . . . the poor baby had just gotten back from practice and was nearing the bedroom door when he heard some sounds of what he thought was you in pain or distress. being the sweet boyfriend he was, he hurriedly went to open the door, but the sight that greeted him was certainly not one he was expecting. you were laid out on the bed, your pants pulled only halfway off your legs as if you were too desperate to even bother taking them off fully, a hand stuffed in your underwear as you threw your head back and let out the prettiest sounds, looking so blissful and fucked out. your eyes shot open at the disturbance that was mark's arrival, the light blush coating your cheeks nothing in comparison to the bright, tomato-red one that decorated his. "fuck, um– i'm sorry, lemme just– i'm just gonna go", he mumbles his way into the bathroom, bumping into the door while trying to enter, but you both knew he looked for too long. now what was he supposed to do? it's not like that godly an image of you is going to leave his head anytime soon, no, of course not, he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it for days, weeks, months even. sprawled out on the bed like that, lips parted and letting out such dirty, magical sounds– fuck, he couldn't help letting his hand travel into his pants in a similar fashion to you. before he knew it, he was jerking himself off to the thought of you (something he had definitely done before, but he had some wonderful new material now), pumping his cock up and down while his breathing became laboured, but in all his haste and pleasure, he had "forgotten" to lock the door. "um, need a little help there?"
♡ renjun . . . you thought renjun texting you “pleaseee baby, come over tn” meant that the two of you would spend time together until you eventually fell asleep, which did happen for a while until your boyfriend excused him to go play “one game with the boys”. though you rolled your eyes at him, you were fine with him playing a game or two, figuring you could just be on your phone for a bit. you weren’t, however, expecting to be sat on your phone for over an hour, with renjun now having his headphones on (you don’t know what the point was, though, you could still hear all the slurs being shouted mutedly from them). “renjun”, you grouched, but he doesn’t even turn to face you. “if you wanna leave me for a man, just say that.” he does laugh at this, but he pleads “one last one”, making you sigh and slump back down on the bed. you had chosen the pretty, new lace underwear you had bought the other day to wear tonight, but now you’re too salty to let him take it off you. deciding to take matters into your own hands, you shimmy out of your shorts, rubbing circles over your underwear with your eyes trained on his back. if he was too busy to touch you, what’s stopping you from doing it yourself? you try and fail to stifle your moans with your arm as you slip your hand into your underwear, rubbing your clit for a moment before dipping your fingers into your entrance. “renjun…”, you call out again, but both of you know it sounds different this time, and he glances over his shoulder at you. it’s almost comical the way he does a double take, pushing his headphones off of one ear, to get a clear look at you. slowly but surely, the tips of his ears and cheeks are dusted with red, but his eyes still shyly observe the hand concealed by your underwear. “oh…”, he sounds out while you throw your head back and whine, his headphones now fully off and you could hear whoever he was on call with distantly calling out “renjun? renjun, what the fuck we’re losing?” he shuts off his computer screen without even looking at it, getting up and slowly walking over to you, sinking down on the edge of the bed. “you just gonna sit there or you gonna help me?”, you grumble, but his eyes don’t miss the way your hips buck up. “wanna watch.”
♡ jeno . . . you swear you had meant to wait for him to return, you had tried your best to busy yourself while jeno was at schedules. he had told you the exact time that he would return, no earlier, no later, than 7:30 p.m. and there he was, promptly unlocking your front door at 7:29 p.m., expecting you to be reading a book in your room, or baking brownies-for-one in your underwear in the kitchen. he definitely wasn’t expecting the sight that greeted him. he had given you one rule for when he was away at work, to “not touch what’s mine”, one simple rule. you seemed eager enough to please him before he left, so he certainly wasn’t expecting to hear moans coming from the kitchen. he watches you for all of five seconds, back facing him with one hand disappearing into the waistband of your shorts, head thrown back a little as you leaned against the counter. “what are you doing?”, the sharp, gruff way in which he says it make you stop immediately, yanking your hand out of your shorts and holding it behind you. it was one thing if you were pleasuring yourself in the bedroom, but right out here? in the kitchen? jeno promptly walks over to you, reaching over and clasping the hand behind your back tightly, jerking it over to him. your fingers all but glisten when held under the ceiling light, and your cheeks redden at the short “pathetic” he spits while looking at you. not breaking the heavy eye contact, he closes his lips over your two fingers, swirling his tongue around them before releasing them with a ‘pop!’. the next thing you know, your face is being pressed against the cold granite surface of the counter hard, while jeno’s other hand holds both your wrists together behind your back. “you know how to count, right?”, he asks demeaningly, and while he lets go of your head, your cheek is still pressed against the counter so hard you can see the condensation form as you breath, nodding your head before he yanks your shorts down with such force that you can still feel the burn on your hips five seconds later. he places the palm of his hand flat against your ass, pulling your underwear up to reveal more flesh. “i’m gonna show you what happens to whores when they don’t follow a simple rule.”
♡ haechan . . . “well, well, well," you could practically hear the smirk in his voice, tone dripping, pouring with desire, just sounding so sultry. your eyes shot open at the sound of him, squealing shortly and rushing to cover yourself up with the blanket. "what do we have here?", he cooed from the door, one foot in front of the other and a hand placed against the doorframe, leaning against it. "f-fuck off, hyuck", you replied breathlessly, cheeks dusted with pink due to your embarrassment and also the rush you were feeling from touching yourself. he wasn't supposed to be back so early, you thought you were going to be alone for a little while longer; clearly you were wrong. "fuck off? did you mean 'fuck me'?", he drawled, letting out a half scoff and half chuckle, slowly sauntering towards you. “why don’t you show me what you were doing there?”, his suggestion sounds more like an order, and its like you lose the ability to think when he reaches over you to lead the hand straying away from your pussy right back, inclining his head to the side expectantly. under his urging, watchful eyes, you continue your previous actions, eyes widening when hyuck lets out an almost pornographic moan at the sight. sinking your fingers deeper into yourself, you whimper out of pure frustration from the fact that these were your fingers instead of his, and you swear you are almost in tears when he says, “stop”. he’s quick to replace your fingers with his own, coating his digits in your wetness before pumping two into you without any warning. “think you can give me three? maybe four orgasms?”, he cooes, tutting when you shake your head ‘no’. “i think we’re gonna find out.”
♡ jaemin . . . “aren’t you sweet?”, to say hearing your roommate jeno’s friend’s sultry voice startled you would be an understatement, fully believing you were home alone when you started pleasuring yourself. “jaemin– what the fuck–”, a blushing, bumbling mess, you’re quick to yank your blanket over your partially naked body, not knowing how long he’d been standing there watching you or how he had gotten into your house in the first place, choosing to ask about the latter first. “how the fuck did you get in? and did no one ever teach you how to knock?”. tilting his head to the side, jaemin raises his eyebrows but makes no efforts to hide the way his eyes scanned over your blanket-covered body, tracing your hips, collarbones, legs with his gaze. “jeno gave me the keys. and that’s not fair, the door wasn’t shut. besides, you called me”, he replies coolly, taking a step into the room but leaving the door wide open, as if you invited him in. “i heard you call my name in that pretty little voice of yours, but i thought you were hurt. didn’t think you were fucking yourself with your fingers to the thought of me.” you move to further cover yourself up as he walks closer to you, embarrassed out of your mind that he both heard you moan his name and watched you touch yourself. but what he does next really has you shocked– eyes never leaving yours, his hand snakes over to his pant-covered cock, gripping it with a satisfied hiss, a smirk curving on his lips when he sees your look of surprise and…desire??? “you see how hard i am for you, pretty?”, he all but moans out and you do see, the outline of his cock straining against the material of his sweatpants and making your mouth almost water at the thought of it. without another word, he’s in front of you, pulling his raging boner free from his pants. “what do you say we give jeno a little show when he comes back?”
♡ chenle . . . “damn, you started without me?” after enjoying the dinner you had cooked for the two of you, you suggested taking a shower together before slipping into bed to watch a show. following the routine that you had wherein one of you would cook and the other would clean, chenle grabbed your plate and his, placing them in the sink and telling you that he’ll be there in about ten minutes after he finished washing the dishes. figuring you could just get undressed and enjoy the extra space in the shower before your boyfriend joined you, you opted to start without him, but leaving the door unlocked for him. the second the hot water hits your body, you are relaxed, letting it soak your hair and cover your body. you trail your hands along your body to further spread the water, but soon you can’t ignore the dull thud coming from your core when you reach your inner thighs. grazing your fingers against yourself and testing the waters, you slowly begin your ministrations, spreading your folds with more intent now. another two minutes in and you’re blatantly touching yourself, head resting against the glass of the shower, steam engulfing its expanse while you sigh out of bliss. chenle, having left the dishes to dry, decided to join you, ridding himself of his clothes and finding the bathroom door to be partially open. when he’s greeted by the sight of you, your back is facing him, but it doesn’t take a genius to understand what you were doing. when you finally hear his voice, you look over your shoulder in surprise and slight embarrassment, but that is soon replaced with pure lust when your eyes mirror the look in his. “thought i’d get a head start”, you offer, slowly picking up the pace with your hand. “is that so?”, he muses, placing his hand over yours but not stopping your actions. “we both know that i can make you cum much faster than you can.”
♡ jisung . . . when you first started dating your boyfriend jisung, you didn’t realise just how much time you’d be spending on your own. if he wasn’t away at practices, he was busy filming various videos and content, so a large portion of your day was spent waiting for him. this was not to say you were unsatisfied with your relationship, you still got to spend time with him and when you did, it was time well spent. all you were saying is that you got a little lonely and bored at times, and that would explain why you were currently standing by the sink, debating whether you should hit send. you had just finished taking a couple photos of yourself during a moment of confidence and horniness and now they sat in the message bar of yours and jisung’s dms, waiting to be sent. you and jisung had gone there multiple times, but nudes were unexplored territory, yet you thought, fuck it, and hit send. even though you know he’s busy, it doesn’t take long before the ‘delivered’ changes to a ‘seen’, and you watch as the typing bubbles appear and disappear a number of times. after five minutes or so, you’re starting to worry and overthink, biting your lip when you see that jisung is now trying to call you. you pick up and play it off with as much confidence as you can, but jisung sounds the opposite– breathing heavy and voice quiet, like he’s trying to make sure no one hears him, and you hear the sound of a lock clicking. “why would you– are you–”, he blubbers, clearly at a loss for words and you can just picture him, cheeks coated with a sheen of red, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing. “what are you doing right now?”, he asks in a goofy manner and you can’t help your chuckle at the sound of his shy voice, cooing into the speaker. “i was missing you, sungie…”, you mewl, positively beaming when you hear him audibly gulp. “was thinking about you.” his breathing quickens and he mumbles “thinking of me?”, before he clears his throat. “what about me?” you smile at his inability to balance his shyness and desire, and you tell him what you were thinking about, soon hearing the telltale sound of a zipper being pulled down.
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hazyhae · 20 days
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Hello <3 i see reqs are closed, but if you ever get the chance/want to, then could you pls do texts about dream at a party with socially drained s/o who wants to go home? tyty
hi!! i think text requests are fine rn, so thank you for requesting 💗 definitely a fun one as someone who both loves partying and gets socially drained really often :’) enjoy!
texts: socially drained w/ bf!dream ˖𖥔 ݁.𖧧
cw: fluff, tiny angst, some cursing & mentions of smoking (ofc), petnames: baby, angel, pretty, my love
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handlemehyuck · 27 days
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you’re in love with fwb dreamies ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
18+ mdni, angst, fluff, suggestive
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philly-interlude · 1 year
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[6:46 PM]
"park jisung!" you called his dear name a distance away from his frail figure. he heard you and halted his weak steps, but he didn't turn around, waiting for you to say something.
a lump started to form on your throat once again as hot tears feels like rising, ready to stream down your reddened cheeks. "i love you!" you shouted, a beg on your tone somehow.
a lone tear escaped his dark eyes, his mind telling him to just run away from you and go back to where he belongs, but his heart says otherwise. he closed his fist tight, knuckles whitening. he shut his eyes tightly as his large black wings spread.
before, you were terrified of how gorgeously scary his wings were, hence right now, you were more scared of losing him.
your tears did not stop from falling, the rain didn't stop either. your heart didn't stop from breaking, his wouldn't either.
then he slowly turned around, head down, body fully facing you. you stepped a centimeter or two forward, sensing this, jisung snapped his head up directly to yours. iris in a color of blood red, his slick black hair disheveled.
he still looks gorgeous despite the situation.
"remember what they said, forbidden love is weak like rodents, unreliable like a snake, and only lasts like a dragonfly" he lowly muttered bitterly enough for you to hear it with his deep voice and eyes covered with void.
he disappeared into thin air, leaving you in the middle of the rain with fading black mists and a tiny little feather from his wings.
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ghostofhyuck · 1 month
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NCT Dream when you caught them cheating.
AN: Remember that this is a work of fiction and does NOT reflect the people mentioned. Also this is a college au so that it makes so much sense for them to be assholes, lol. (Let's not tolerate cheating!!! Some of these are emotional cheating, still considered cheating tho.) Mentions of insecurities and trust issues by the way. 
Mark Lee ; Met up with his ex-girlfriend.
You're still insecure about his ex-girlfriend and Mark knows that. So when your friends saw him on a coffee shop with her, they immediately confronted him and told you. Privately, you asked him about it, but he couldn't give you a straight answer. He wasn't looking at you properly and was being defensive. You can see tears in his eyes, but you know that there's a reason why he met up with her. Your thoughts are still clouded with your emotions, so you walked away, asking Mark to give you space. 
Huang Renjun ; Saw him holding hands with his 'girl best friend.'
You always have doubts with Renjun's girl best friend. When you first met her, she seems sweet but was a bit clingy to Renjun. So when you saw them together, holding hands, you feel weirded about it. Later on, you opened it up to Renjun and he becomes defensive about his best friend, and he told you that you're overeacting. You tried to defend yourself and wonder why your boyfriend is on his best friend's side. The argument stopped when Renjun walked away first, leaving you there to cry. 
Lee Jeno ; Found out that he slept with another girl.
It was his friend who told you about it. Your heart starting to beat fast and your hands became shaky when you saw the text. When you asked Jeno about it, the first thing he said was sorry. And it broke your heart because it was true that he slept with someone. You tried to be rational, even though your chest is starting to feel tight. His explanation was shallow, and he kept on apologizing to you numerous times, but you couldn't look at him the same way anymore. "I think we should break-up." 
Lee Donghyuck ; Drunk-called his ex-girlfriend.
Last night you had doubts because Haechan wasn't replying to your text when he said he's going out to party with his friends. Now a text from his ex-girlfriend popped on your messages. She explained it like as if she was girl's girl but you know that she's half-bragging at you that Haechan called him saying that he still loves her. So when you confronted Haechan about it, he'll be shocked, explaining that he was drunk and he thought that he was calling you. But you've passed the "I'm drunk" excuse, you called it off with him and while he was trying to win you back, you know that you can't trust him anymore.
Na Jaemin ; Drunk-kissed a stranger.
You saw it. You witnessed it, and you can't believe that you put so much trust on Jaemin. You saw how eager that kiss was and how he smiled at the stranger when the kiss broke. You felt your tears flowing and at that moment, Jaemin saw you. He was able to follow you when you walked out of the club, trying to explain to you what you just saw but you're not taking any of his bullshit. "Stop trying to make excuse about it Jaemin, I saw what I saw." you said with a gritted teeth. "Let's just break-up." 
Zhong Chenle ; Flirting with strangers in a club.
You two had a small argument before going to a club with your friends. You tried to loosen up but you didn't expect that Chenle would go around tables flirting with other girls. You felt your chest tightening at the sight of your boyfriend laughing with other girls while you two are not okay. You walked-out of the club, not even saying goodbye to your friends. You tried to wipe the tears away, typing "Have fun there because we're done," to Chenle before going home. The next day, he sent you tons of messages trying to explain himself but you don't want to believe him anymore. 
Park Jisung ; Has been venting to his 'girl best friend' instead to you.
Lately Jisung has been so distant with you and you tried to understand him given that college is really hectic. But when you found yourself in the middle of him having a conversation with his girl best friend and she slipped something out that you don't know, you started to have doubts. You confronted Jisung about it and while he explained that he doesn't want to burden you with his worries, you felt as if he doesn't trust you enough. You two ended up having an argument about it, making Jisung walk away. "Go! Go to your best friend and tell her that we had a fight! Might as well date her while you're at it!" you shouted even though tears are streaming from your eyes. 
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hcuyk · 9 days
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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE
SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, haechan had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with haechan
PAIRING ✧ rival!haechan x fem!reader
GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining
WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive haechan : NSFW TAGS :  outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyuck for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)
WORD COUNT ✧ 19k
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≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @flwoie — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]
⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @nyujjan @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie (lmk if you prefer to be tagged for both, or for only hyunjae/haechan!) — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
NCT DREAM MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION
AUTHOR'S NOTE : haechan's version for the original our inferno is finally here! i hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it <3
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PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE
“Genuine question.”
“Shoot.”
“Who the fuck does Haechan actually think he is?”
Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Jaemin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center. 
“Well, he is your boss.”
“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Jaemin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye. 
“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.
“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”
Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Jaemin, and Haechan were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Haechan was the subject of interest, and Jaemin was there for physical support. 
Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Haechan’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Haechan’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’
For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Haechan was still in the locker room changing.
“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Jaemin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.
“Against Haechan? You gotta be kidding, right?”
“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Haechan.”
Jaemin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Haechan. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Haechan, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.
“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to, not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Jaemin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.
“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”
“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Jaemin grumbled.
“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”
“Well yeah, but the—”
“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”
“That’s just how-”
“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Jaemin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.
“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”
“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.
You jerked around to find Haechan, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.
You halted in your path and stared him down. Haechan immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.
“You.” 
Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Haechan laugh.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”
“Oh here we go again,” Jaemin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.
As a mutual friend of yours and Haechan’s since middle school, Jaemin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be. 
“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Haechan feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”
“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.
Haechan furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.
“Jaemin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”
Jaemin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Haechan in annoyance.
“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”
“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Jaemin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Haechan’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.
“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”
“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.
“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”
“I’m complaining,” Jaemin muttered.
“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Haechan had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.
“You’re not scared of me?”
And you keep falling for the bait.
“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.
Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away. 
“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”
“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”
You narrowed your eyes at him.
“Don’t call me that–”
“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Haechan’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”
What you despised most was how well Haechan knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Haechan, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.
Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism. 
Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.
“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.
“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”
“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Jaemin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.
“Get a room—!”
“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”
“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared. 
“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”
“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”
You and Haechan both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).
“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Jaemin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.
“And apparently horny too.”
“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in). 
“Hello? I’m still here.”
“Look at that. He already misses me.”
“I’m going to hurl,” Jaemin unnecessarily announced, and Haechan’s face soured.
“Ew.”
“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Jaemin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically. 
“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”
“Or, hot take,” Haechan interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”
“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Jaemin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”
He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Haechan. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Jaemin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance. 
Jaemin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.
“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”
You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.
“Now why the hell do you think—”
“Zip it.”
Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Jaemin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Haechan as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Jaemin’s speedy steps.
Despite carrying heavier items, Haechan caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Haechan’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.
“He sees it,” Haechan sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”
“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.
“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.
The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.
“You can’t be serious.”
Haechan, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.
“You’re the one in denial.”
Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.
“Haechan,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”
Instead of receiving something witty from Haechan like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.
The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Haechan like you normally do.
“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Jaemin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.
“Earth to Haechan?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Yeonjun, remember?”
For a moment, Haechan could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.
“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”
Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.
“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”
“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”
“It was a mistake, okay?”
“A mistake?” As Haechan’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.” 
Seeing how Haechan was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Haechan was behaving felt like he was trying to control you. 
All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Haechan was being more condescending than he had ever been.
“You know nothing, Haechan, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”
“You’re still with him??”
“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”
And just like how you always are, Haechan refused to shut up.
“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”
“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Haechan was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”
“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”
“Again, none of your fucking business–”
“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”
“I am not going to repeat myself-”
“Can’t you just listen to what I-”
“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Yeonjun, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Haechan could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.
Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Haechan meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.
After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself. 
“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”
Haechan stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better. 
“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”
“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.
“It isn’t right—”
“Stay in your fucking lane, Hyuck.”
Haechan clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.
You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.
Not only was Haechan’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Jaemin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Jaemin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.
“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.
When you turned around to walk away, you knew Haechan was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.
“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”
And with that, you left. 
//
Jaemin apologized to you the morning after.
He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Jaemin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Haechan told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.
According to Jaemin, he only told Haechan about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Haechan already knew. As Jaemin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Haechan didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Jaemin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Haechan had brought it up to Jaemin instead.
Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.
But avoiding Haechan felt like lighting a match in the rain. 
It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Haechan Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.
He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Haechan had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council. 
Yet it all felt so different.
Unless he was called on, Haechan would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.
You had also gotten quieter because without Haechan to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either. 
There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same. 
Then you would never have to see him in college.
Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Jaemin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate. 
Haechan had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Yeonjun as your boyfriend.
But then that begged the question: why did Haechan bother spending his time ridiculing you?
From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.
He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Haechan was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.
He knew when to stop.
Yet when it came to the one instance involving Yeonjun, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?
“Haechan isn’t here today.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t show up for a single class.”
Jaemin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.
“That’s not like him,” he replied.
“Yeah.”
“I wonder why.”
“I wonder too.” 
After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.
“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.” 
“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.” 
You didn’t react nor respond to what Jaemin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.
Jaemin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.
“Why are you thinking about him?”
That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Haechan, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.
“What?”
“Haechan. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Jaemin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”
“Well it’s not because of Haechan, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”
Jaemin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Jaemin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Jaemin jerked back his arm, making you whine.
“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”
“Fine,” you grumbled. As Jaemin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.
“Y/N!”
You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Nagyung waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.
She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you. 
“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”
She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.
“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear. 
“Your outfit’s really cute today.”
“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”
“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”
“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”
She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.
“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Nagyung had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”
The question of who Nagyung liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.
A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Hyunjin or well-known like…Haechan.
“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”
“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date. 
“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”
You knew it.
Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.
“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?
“So you want me to do it?”
“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”
You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.
Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Nagyung back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.
“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”
“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.
“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Haechan will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”
The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt. 
“What?”
Nagyung tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.
“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”
Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.
“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own. 
When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.
“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.
There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Haechan’s, Nagyung’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own. 
//
With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.
The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jisung, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jisung, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.
But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Haechan like a colleague. That should be easy, right?
As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.
Haechan hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Nagyung wasn’t aware that Haechan was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jisung) would take over. 
Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jisung being there instead of Haechan had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Haechan or Jisung (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.
You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Haechan’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him. 
Covered from head to toe in sweats, Haechan was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown waves peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.
Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.
The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels. 
“Nice try.”
You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Haechan’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.
Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this. 
“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.
Haechan staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching. 
“What do you mean?”
Even if Haechan didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.
“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Hyuck, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”
“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were. 
Haechan barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you. 
“What–?”
“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”
“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”
“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.
“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.
Haechan looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.
Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.
“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”
“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.
“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”
“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.
Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Haechan walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?
The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him. 
As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own. 
You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince. 
After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.
Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting. 
You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.
Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Nagyung behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.
You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.
“It’s okay, Nagyung, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.
“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”
“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all. 
“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.
And just like that, she continued running off. 
You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Nagyung had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.
Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.
When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Yeonjun.
Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.
So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.
Of course it was Haechan.
You had Haechan’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.
The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was. 
You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.
Automatically assuming it was Nagyung or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice. 
“You’re not even halfway yet?”
In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.
“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Haechan was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.
When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.
 “What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago. 
“You’re taking too long.”
“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.
And Haechan was totally judging.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Just go home.”
Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.
“I can do it myself,” you explained. 
“What are you even doing?” 
“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Haechan��s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.
“You’re struggling.”
“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.
“Let me do it.”
Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.
“You’re kidding.”
“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”
“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Haechan? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”
“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”
Haechan was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.
“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”
“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you. 
“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.
“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Haechan in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Haechan you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.
Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Haechan wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.
Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.
“Haechan, I swear—”
“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.” 
Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Yeonjun’s whereabouts, how he knew that Yeonjun was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up. 
You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Yeonjun, at least you would be away from Haechan. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Haechan’s narcissism was insufferable.
By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.
As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Haechan was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Yeonjun standing precisely where Haechan said he was.
Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes. 
“Junnie!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.
Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.
“Hey, baby!”
You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Yeonjun laugh.
“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.
“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.
“Of course I was, baby.” 
You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Yeonjun was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.
But then it fell.
Something felt off.
//
If someone were to inquire Haechan about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not. 
Haechan had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.
Haechan knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in. 
Additionally, Haechan’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Haechan’s devotion to hope for humanity. 
All these traits were what led Haechan up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.
It was safe to say that competition against Lee Haechan was sparse, and you were no different. 
Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.
Except for one thing; your fury.
There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other. 
Haechan had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra. 
Haechan yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most. 
Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.
The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.
It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Haechan would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Yeonjun.
Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Haechan was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low). 
So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Haechan had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.
What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Haechan. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.
He wanted to burn.
Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?
He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night. 
It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jaehyun, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you. 
At this rate, Haechan could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him. 
But with your constant longing for Yeonjun, Haechan made sure that this party would be different.
Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Haechan had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised eyebrows, specifically Jaehyun’s when he first tried urging Haechan with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Haechan informed Mark of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Haechan could get a taste of alcohol.
“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jaehyun exclaimed the instant he found out about Haechan’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.
“That’s what I told him!” Mark projected his voice over the music, giving Haechan a supportive pat on the back.
Haechan rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jaehyun for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Haechan’s face scrunched up at the taste, Mark shoving him lightly with the claim that Haechan was being overdramatic. 
With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Haechan had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Haechan in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.
Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Sunwoo and his usual complaints about Haechan partying as a high schooler on a school night. 
After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Haechan excused himself and answered the call.
“Hello?”
With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.
“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you. 
You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.
There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.
“I need a ride.”
Haechan blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.
Your bluntness and suddenty made Haechan malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.
He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare. 
But it was you, and Haechan was willing to risk it.
After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did. 
He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Haechan knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Mark, giving him a pat on the back.
“Drink up and find an Uber.”
“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jaehyun shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.
“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Haechan started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
“He’s lying,” Mark snorted, taking a swig before bidding Haechan a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"
Haechan ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?
But as much as Haechan hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you. 
God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.
For a split second, Haechan truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with. 
It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Haechan was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing. 
Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.
You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there. 
In an ideal world, Haechan would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.
He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car. 
Despite how slow his mind was working, Haechan knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.
Without any explanation from you, Haechan refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.
While Haechan attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips. 
Where did he even come from?
And why was he so quick to listen?
You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Haechan. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.
You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.
“Drive.”
Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Haechan picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.
“Where to?”
“Anywhere.” Haechan raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Hyuck.”
The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel. 
You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Haechan’s car).
After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.
It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.
Haechan stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.
“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Haechan shook his head.
“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”
Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.
Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.
“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him. 
You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen. 
Haechan opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.
There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Haechan could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.
Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.
And your voice broke the silence.
“How long have you known?”
Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Haechan had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Haechan had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty. 
His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.
“About Yeonjun and Nagyung.”
Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.
Your voice was delicate, and Haechan knew that with one move, he could break you.
Directing his gaze heavenward, Haechan sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.
But you asked, and as always, Haechan delivered.
“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Haechan was forced to relive it all.
The hallways were empty when Haechan left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Yeonjun’s voice around the corner. 
His footsteps halted, and Haechan caught Yeonjun’s fatal words.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
Nagyung’s squeals followed after, and Haechan stood motionless.
At first, Haechan had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye. 
Haechan couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt. 
Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil. 
Then with quick strides, Haechan shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Yeonjun against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Haechan’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.
There wasn’t a second in between Yeonjun’s face of surprise and Haechan’s arm being raised, and before Yeonjun could react, Haechan’s fist had slammed into his jaw. 
It was a blur from there, but Haechan knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Yeonjun’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Haechan gave him.
The fact that Yeonjun managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Haechan wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.
Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend. 
Haechan turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.
You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Haechan over Yeonjun, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.
“I didn’t mean to.”
Haechan’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.
“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.
“I know, Hyuck.”
Haechan eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.
Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Yeonjun had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Haechan would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—
You laughed.
Haechan snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Haechan to see you vulnerable.
“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”
His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation. 
“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Nagyung just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”
You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?
It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth. 
“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”
Haechan sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.
“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”
Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Haechan included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?
You always wanted Haechan to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?
And yet, as much as it pained Haechan to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Yeonjun; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay. 
You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.
Haechan got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Haechan could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.
Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever. 
Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.
“Take me,” you whispered, and Haechan’s whole world stopped. 
“...What?” Haechan had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.
Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.
“Please.”
Like a moth to a flame, Haechan admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better. 
“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless. 
You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.
“I want it to hurt, Donghyuck.”
Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Hyuck, and now his actual name. He favored Haechan, but after hearing ‘Donghyuck’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround. 
But Haechan worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.
“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Haechan swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.
“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”
Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity. 
But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Yeonjun—that your heart still belonged to him, and Haechan was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?
Especially when he could have you right here, right now. 
“You’re using me.”
Your expression didn’t falter.
“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.
“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Yeonjun being better than Haechan. Haechan was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”
“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Haechan was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.
“You love me, don’t you?”
His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.
His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.
“You’d do anything for me, Hyuck. What’s stopping you now?”
There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.
He knew better.
“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan. 
He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.
He knew better.
“You’re using me.”
You both knew better.
Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.
“And I say take advantage of it.”
Haechan dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.
Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement. 
The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Haechan as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.
You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.
When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.
You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more. 
After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Haechan back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.
“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over. 
“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.
“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Haechan. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity. 
Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.
Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.
You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable. 
Haechan would punch Yeonjun all over again if he could. 
Without a second thought, Haechan ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Yeonjun were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back. 
“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.
“But it’s true, no?”
“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Haechan to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Yeonjun ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Haechan instead of your unknowing boyfriend.
You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Haechan knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Haechan touching you.
The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Haechan didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.
He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Haechan beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.
You wanted to be his downfall. 
Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easily it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.
“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”
“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Haechan into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Haechan, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.
And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.
Haechan didn’t deserve that at all. 
But Haechan was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat. 
Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.
He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.
“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Yeonjun and justify how poorly he treats you?” 
Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Haechan already knew how you were going to respond.
He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.
Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you. 
“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”
“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.
“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.
You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.
“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Haechan’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.
But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him. 
When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.
“Did I do this?”
His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly. 
He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.
“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Haechan rolled his eyes.
“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”
“A favor is a stretch—”
Haechan plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.
“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”
He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Haechan finally inserted his fingers inside of you. 
Haechan’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.
“Donghyuck, please,” you begged. 
He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin. 
Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Haechan never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.
“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care. 
“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”
Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night. 
When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you. 
“Oh-...Oh my god, Hyuck—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were. 
He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name. 
As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Haechan was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Yeonjun ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust. 
“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” 
The mention of Yeonjun had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Haechan seemed to have other plans.
Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.
“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”
There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Yeonjun’s name.
And Haechan took no time breaking it from your neck.
Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion. 
“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him. 
“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear. 
“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 
“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Haechan pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 
You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.
“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Haechan explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.
“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 
You wrapped your fingers around Haechan’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.
“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Donghyuck,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.
He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.
“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”
The speed of your hips increased, and Haechan felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.
“You’re jealous, Hyuck. Just admit it.”
You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Haechan managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Haechan was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move. 
With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.
“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Haechan kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.
He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises. 
“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Yeonjun would love it if I sent that video to him.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Haechan was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back. 
“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Haechan released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Haechan inside you. 
“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.
“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 
“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.
“Psychotic, just for my princess.”
Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.
“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless. 
“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Haechan gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.
“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure. 
Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Haechan’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be. 
He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.
And Haechan showed no signs of stopping.
He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.
Oh, and there was the recording too.
While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.
“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.
You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Haechan seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.
“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?” 
“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Haechan. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Haechan each time. 
Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Yeonjun, yet the rest of your body was meant for Haechan.
“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”
He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.
“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”
Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.
“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”
Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.
Haechan whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.
He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.
“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Haechan’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming. 
Haechan had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was incoming, and you held on tight to his arm.
“D-Dongh- hyuck, I’m—”
“Mine.”
You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Haechan pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.
Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Haechan consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder. 
“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”
He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.
Maybe you were his.
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OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]
NAVIGATION — NCT DREAM
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© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/
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fullsunstrawberry · 6 months
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can i request nct dream with the who did this to you trope :)
NCT Dream
who did this to you trope
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requested?: yes <3
[nct dream masterlist]
warnings: mentions of bruises, bullying, toxic relationships
a/n: the day started off terribly but my second class cancelled sooo i think it’s going a little better
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nct dream taglist: @vvsmydiamonds127 @loveforred @rmslover @rmslover
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lowkeychenle · 3 months
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Hey girllllll, I loved the chenle fwb to lovers AU!! It was so good! Could you please do one for Mark or even all the member please? That is if you want! Have good day babes 💚
hiiii🥰🩷 I did OT7! But it’s a mix between funny, angsty, and just like ??? so i hope you like it!! lol thank you for requesting🥰
pairing: ot7 nct dream x reader
content warnings: suggestive, jaemin’s & renjun’s are kinda sad ):, hyuck being dramatic, chenle being chenle, etc etc
MARK & RENJUN:
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JENO & HAECHAN:
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JAEMIN:
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CHENLE & JISUNG:
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