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#my job didn't extend my contract for next year so I don't have a job lined up which is the least of my problems
hahafixon · 2 months
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An Exceptional Asset ~ *Choi Jongho*
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Summary: You've only been working at this company for a couple months but you enjoy your time at the office and you're proud of the work you've done. And it seems your boss has taken notice of your hard work as well...
Pairing: Choi Jongho X Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff Oneshot
Word Count: 2369
Warning: Wooyoung being obnoxious like always
Masterlist
Taglist: @samepoisonsamevine @maeleelee @mxnsxngie @kpop-will-kill-me
Good things aren't meant to last. You probably knew that better than anyone. That's just because you've been in at least three different marketing jobs in the last two years. Nothing lasts and nobody wants to keep you on longer than a few months. That is, until you found yourself employed at Nimbus Hotels. It was a temporary position, but your boss informed you that there was a strong chance of being able to extend your contract into a more permanent position.
So far, in the three months you've worked at this job, it wasn't all that bad. Actually, you found it far more enjoyable than your last three jobs combined. But you were still unsure about the stability of this position. It felt like the rug was about to be pulled out from under your feet and you would soon find yourself back where you started: job hunting. This just meant you were ever so careful with every move you made and every job you handled. The slightest mistake could be your career's very undoing and you were not about to let that happen, not now, not ever.
The silver lining was your hard work did not go unnoticed by your boss, who made it a point every day to come by your cubicle and tell you what a great job you were doing.
"I swear, you are one of the hardest working members on our team." Seonghwa shook his head with a smile. 
You blushed at his compliment. "It's nothing, sir. I just want to show my gratitude for this position through my work."
"And you're doing a wonderful job at it, I assure you." He sighed. "Sometimes I wish others would follow your lead. Like Wooyoung. Perhaps someday you could give him some pointers?"
You bit your lip at the thought. It wasn't that you didn't like working with Wooyoung. On the contrary, the two of you became fast friends and he was determined to take you out drinking every night to get you to loosen up after working so hard. However, you were already busy enough as it is with your own workload. You didn't think you had time to train another colleague. Not only that, but Wooyoung has been here longer than you. It didn't seem right to have you, someone who was still relatively new to the business, to train your senior.
Of course, speak of the devil, another head popped up from the cubicle next to yours. "Seonghwa, don't you trust me? I am an excellent sales associate!"
Seonghwa sighed. "Wooyoung, you're nothing but a headache and a pain in the ass. Also you're overly familiar with your superiors, which would look very bad on your employee review."
Wooyoung pouted. "Why do you always have to lord my employee review over me? I thought my superior would be above such dirty tricks such as blackmail."
You covered your mouth to suppress your laugh at their antics. It was never a dull day between the sales associates when Wooyoung and Seonghwa had the misfortune of interacting. That's what made this job so entertaining. 
However, you knew better than to let them keep going. Standing up, you intervened on Wooyoung's behalf. "Forgive me, sir. But I think Wooyoung is very capable. I think he can figure things out for himself. Consider it as a way of teaching him to sink or swim in business."
"I'm not sure if I should be offended or not." Wooyoung continued to pout, though there was still a twinkle of mischief in his eye.
Before you could speak again, the hotel's Vice President, Kim Hongjoong, appeared before the three of you. Seonghwa and you quieted down in a respectful manner and bowed to greet him. Wooyoung, on the other hand, simply graced him with a head nod, which made him scowl.
"I hope you three are staying out of trouble." He said, his voice as sharp as always. "You know that they're looking to let some workers go."
Wooyoung instantly straightened up at his words and you had to suppress a wince. Despite Seonghwa's words about being one of the hardest workers here, you couldn't help but feel like you were on the chopping block. You just hope that the President would do it as swiftly and painlessly as possible.
"Of course, sir. We're always on our best behavior." The teasing lilt in Wooyoung's voice did not go unnoticed by you. If you weren't up to be terminated before, your senior's teasing would certainly push you over the edge.
Hongjoong rolled his eyes before looking back at you. "The reason I'm here is because the President wants to see you."
Your eyes widened and you pointed to yourself. "Me?"
"Yes, you. I'm supposed to escort you to his office. Now follow me, and keep up, please."
And with that, he turned on his heel and headed for the President's office. You gave a panicked glance to your colleagues, who tried to offer you encouraging smiles, but they were definitely fake. With a deep breath to steel your nerves, you followed the Vice President. He kept a quick pace that was a bit difficult in your heels, but you managed. 
As you walk together, you let your mind wander to all of the worst case scenarios collecting in your brain. The biggest thought that stuck out to you was you were definitely getting fired. The only question now was what for? You hoped you weren't taking the fall for another colleague, but you wouldn't put it past some of your co-workers to save their asses and throw you under the bus. Again, you prayed your termination was swift and painless.
When you arrived at his office, you wished you could have had some time to stop and look around. It was so spacious and tastefully decorated. The large windows had a perfect view of Seoul and it made you wonder how beautiful it looked at night. But despite your desire to stop and look at all the art on the walls, your eyes found their way to the President, who was currently filling out documents on his desk. You tried to swallow the growing lump in your throat, but to no avail.
Hongjoong knocked on the open door and gave him a professional smile. "Miss Y/n is here to see you, sir."
President Choi Jongho looked up and you swore you almost melted upon locking with his chocolate brown eyes. He nodded to his Vice President and said, "Thank you, Mr. Kim. You may go now."
"Of course, sir."
Hongjoong didn't spare you a second glance as he quickly exited, shutting the door behind him. Now you were alone with the President of Nimbus Hotels. Your fate in this company and your dream of working in marketing rested in his hands. It almost made you puke all over what you were sure was a very expensive carpet.
"Please, have a seat." He gestured to the pair of chairs in front of his desk. "I just need to finish these last couple documents and then I will be right with you. Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?"
You shook your head and he returned to reading and signing the documents before him. So much of a quick and painless termination, although you were a little touched he was being so accommodating by offering you something. Still, as much as you tried to not let your nerves show, you couldn't stop yourself from shifting in your seat. You weren't an impatient person, it's just you were dying to know why he called you into his office.
Putting his pen away, Jongho finally looked up at you. "First, I want to thank you for meeting with me right away. Although, knowing my Vice President, he didn't give you much of a choice. He doesn't like it when he has to play secretary, but Solbi was sick today."
You nod, discreetly wiping your sweaty hands on your skirt. "It's quite alright, sir. I don't mind."
He smiled and you internally gave a sigh of relief. Your response seemed to have earned you a point in your favor. "I also wanted to inform you that I'm very pleased with your work as of late. I understand you haven't been here long, but you've been a very admirable worker. You complete all of your assignments on time, you're a great team player, and you're good at keeping morale up in the office. I want you to know it does not go unnoticed."
Here it was. You've been through this type of meeting three times before. He was buttering you up before informing you he was "regrettably" letting you go. You took another deep breath to keep your nerve up for a little while longer. Then when you make it back to your apartment this evening, you can drown your sorrows with ice cream and cheesy movies.
"It is because of your good work and good nature, I would like to send you to a conference in two weeks to represent the hotel."
Wait.
He's not firing you?
But you thought... didn't these conversations always go that way?
"Pardon me, sir?" You exclaim, completely flabbergasted.
His polite smile only widened. "The hotel has been invited to a conference and I'm hand selecting a team I would like to represent us. I decided on you to represent the marketing department of the hotel, that is if you accept the offer."
"I..." You trailed off, still completely confused with what exactly he was offering you. "I'm not being fired?"
He quickly shook his head. "No! Not at all! I wouldn't dream of firing you! You are an exceptional asset to the marketing team, which is all the more reason you are being considered for this spot on the team."
It was hard not to feel flattered from the complement of being considered an asset, so you let a small blush grace your cheeks. "I'm honored, sir, truly."
"That's good to hear." He nodded before his voice got quiet. "So, are you accepting the offer?"
You nod. "Yes, sir. I would be more than happy to represent the hotel at this conference!"
Jongho smiled so bright it almost blinded you, but it was an absolutely beautiful smile. "Wonderful! I will email you the conference's welcome packet and the itinerary for the event. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to contact me! I want to make sure everyone on the team is prepared for anything."
"Yes, of course, sir." You bow your head as you stand. "I promise, I won't let you down."
He shook his head, still smiling. "You won't let me down. I know you won't. I have all the faith in the world that you will be perfect like always."
Again, you blushed at his compliment and bowed your head once more. "Thank you, sir."
"Oh, and one more thing," he adds, "if this conference goes well, which I'm sure it will, I would like to offer you the spot on the next advertising conference in a few months. I think you are the perfect candidate to help advertise the hotel."
"Of course, sir! I would love to!" You bow one final time before excusing yourself.
Hongjoong is waiting near the door to escort you back down to your desk. He has a pleasant smile on his face. "I'm impressed. The President doesn't usually doesn't send rookies to conferences. He's very particular about cultivating the perfect image for the hotel. You must have really impressed him. That or he has a soft spot for you."
"Pardon?" You ask. This had to be the second most surprising thing you heard all day.
He chuckled. "Forgive me, I'm speaking out of turn. But I wouldn't be surprised. He's not very subtle when it comes to showing his affection, though he believes he is."
You want to ask him more about what he means, but you find yourself at your desk. As soon as Hongjoong left the marketing department, Seonghwa and Wooyoung descended upon you with hundreds of questions. You explain to them that you're not getting fired and that you've actually been selected to go to a conference in two weeks to represent the hotel.
"You mean the big hotelier conference that only the best hotels in the world are invited to?" Seonghwa shakes his head. "You are so insanely lucky, you have no idea. Not just anyone can go to that conference. And you'll be representing the entire marketing department as well as the hotel as a whole. That's quite the honor!"
"How did you even get selected?" Wooyoung asked, a pout tugging at his lips. "I should be the one to go!"
"Believe me, Wooyoung, you'll be the last one to be invited." Seonghwa shook his head.
You shrug and shake your head in disbelief. "President Choi called me an exceptional asset and said that's why I was chosen. Although..."
"Although?" Wooyoung perked up as he always does when gossip is being spilled.
You bit your lip before spilling what you heard. "According to Vice President Kim, he might have a soft spot for me. But that would just be ridiculous right?"
Wooyoung and Seonghwa looked at each other before turning back to you. Seonghwa said, "Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But I wouldn't think too much into it."
"Oh he is so in love with you! Now the question is how do we exploit it?" Wooyoung replied on top of him.
You winced at their words before holding up your hands to stop them. "Look, whether he likes me or not, it's not important. What is important is making sure this conference goes off without a hitch and that's what I plan to do. I'm not even going to consider any sort of romantic feelings until afterwards."
"Smart." Seonghwa nodded. 
Wooyoung smirked. "Just don't be surprised if he does try to make a move on you at the conference when you both are alone."
You groaned and buried your face in your hands. In your mind you just hoped nothing crazy would take place at the conference in two weeks.
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dotster001 · 2 years
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Enemies to Lovers part Four of however many it takes for my coworker to Love Vil, by God, stop being stubborn
Summary: Azul kidnapped Vil to offer you a job?
A/N: okay, I'm so excited about next week's part of this lmao. Haven't started writing it yet, but hopefully when you get to the end you'll see why I'm so pumped
Part one. Part Two. Part Three. Part Five. Part Six. Part Seven. Part Eight. Part Nine. Part Ten. Epilogue.
You couldn't believe it. Azul kidnapped Vil just so he could offer you a job. It couldn't be good whatever he was about to offer.
"What kind of job?" You said, trying to appear as calm as possible.
"I'm glad you asked!" Azul pulled out several pieces of paper and placed them in front of you. "You see, dear prefect, we have spent the first half of our summer break undoing what you did. We cannot have your dorm for the second location of the Mostro lounge. That's fine. We moved forward, and purchased some space. We've had a building team on it, and are expecting it to be up and running by the second week of the new school year."
"What does this have to do with me? Or Vil for that matter, you literally could have just called me, I'd probably have shown up."
You heard Jade snickering, and Floyd giving what sounded like a pouty hmph. You chose to ignore them.
"What this has to do with you, dear prefect, is I need a manager at the second branch. You've proved yourself more than capable, despite your magical…limitations." He gave a smirk and pushed his glasses up his nose. "As to why Schoenheit is here, well, if you don't know, it's not my place to say."
Cryptic bastard.
"There's gotta be a catch," you said skeptically.
"I'm quite offended that you think so!" He didn't look offended at all. "I make it my business to hire good workers, and you happen to be one of them. We are prepared to offer you a salary at least double that of your current job, as well as help renovating your dorm. No worker of mine will live in a condemned death trap."
You bit your lip, thinking. It sounded too good a deal to be true. You looked at Vil, who just rolled his eyes. So helpful you thought.
"Alright, you win," you said, "but I want a back out clause in my contract just in case things go wrong."
"But of course!" Azul drafted up a contract, then handed you a pen. Once you signed, he extended his hand to you, and you shook it.
"It's a deal."
                                 ….
"956, 957, 958"
"Vil I'm sorry! If I'd known you were one of those psychos who brushed their hair 1000 times, I swear I wouldn't have messed it up! Just forgive me already!"
"965, 966, 967,"
You put on your best angry face, stood on your tip toes, and messed up his hair again.
"Gah! Why do you do these things!" He dropped the brush in exasperation.
You couldn't help but giggle. "It's fun to tease you," your face took on a more serious look. "Hey, I'm sorry you got caught up in all that."
Vil gave you a thin smile. "Do you really think the twins could take me down? Please," he rolled his eyes. "I was curious what they wanted, so I let them 'kidnap' me."
You suddenly felt angry. "You jerk! I was worried to death about you, and you just willingly went with them? You scared the shit out of me!"
"There's no need to be so upset, my sweet potato." 
Was he… giggling? Seriously? He was giggling at your  angst!
"Vil Schoenheit, you are an absolute jerk!"
He giggled again. His giggle was so sweet. He placed his hands on your shoulders, and gave them a reassuring squeeze. 
"Would you prefer if I say I was actually kidnapped, and that I have you to thank for being my savior?"
"Yes," you muttered with a pout.
He cupped your face and squished your cheeks together, making your pout protrude even more.
"Thank you, My beloved Y/N, for saving me from the evil Octavinelle trio," he said with mock bravado.
Suddenly, you were very aware of how he was holding (squishing) your face. Then you noticed how close he stood, and how beautiful his relaxed smile was. You could feel your face burning so you pulled away.
"Anytime. You can make it up to me by taking tomorrow off so we can spend time in the spa," you looked at him, and saw his smile falter a little, "Unless you're scared of a little relaxation?" 
He scoffed. "Of course not. I will speak to my manager about it immediately."
                               ….
You were  getting a pedicure while Vil was getting massaged. You recognized the masseuse as the one that helped with your back. As she continued Vil's massage you over heard,
"How's that shoulder doing, hun?"
"It's fine," Vil groaned.
"Wait, what's wrong with your shoulder?" You asked.
"Nothing. Early in my career I injured it on set. Instead of getting it looked at I kept trying to work through it. Our darling Angela here helped me work through the worst of it, but whatever I did to it, never fully recovered. It bothers me now and then, which is why she's on our home staff."
"Is that why you made me get my back fixed early?" You asked.
"Mhm." Vil hummed. 
The masseuse, who you now knew was named Angela, finished up with Vil, and he joined you for his own pedicure.
He looked so relaxed. So at peace. 
"I think you should take more days off," you said. 
"Why?" He snorted. "I thought you learned your lesson after we went to the beach to 'relax'."
That had been so long ago, you had almost forgotten. But you couldn't let one failed experience get you down. You would get him to relax.
"You are definitely overworking yourself." You said. "If you want me to not overdo it, then you have to practice what you preach."
"Are you threatening me by telling me you're going to overwork yourself?"
"Is it working?" You giggled.
Vil sat quietly for a moment and then sighed heavily. 
"I will schedule one day a week for the rest of the summer where you will lead a relaxation session for me. In exchange, at the end of the summer there is an awards show. I have been invited as an audience member, even though I haven't been in any films recently, and I need a plus one." He stared pointedly at you. "That will be you. Do we have a deal?" He smirked.
You did your best Azul impression, "It's a deal."
                                   ….
On their first "relaxation day" Vil arrived at your door at the crack of butt. He had knocked heavily on the door, waking up both you and Grim, leading Grim to start yelling at both of them.
By the time you were actually able to answer the door, you were already debating quitting before you had started. Then you saw Vil standing patiently at your door, trying to hold back his excitement. The poor man needed to learn to relax, and by God you were going to help him.
"Alright, sweet potato. What are we doing today?" He asked.
"Well, I was thinking we could go on a hike and have a picnic at the end."
"Excellent, I assume you are almost ready?" He asked with a smirk.
"Yeah, yeah, I won't be long," you groaned.
Once you were ready, you went out on your hike, all alone except for nature. Vil used the opportunity to playfully quiz you on ingredients you'd used for potions that he had taught you. He was beaming with pride that  you got all of them right, and your heart fluttered that that smile was just for you.
They chose a place to have the picnic. Once they were both settled on the ground, you pulled out the food, which was just sandwiches, really, but the piece de resistance was the apple pie you had found at the bakery near your job. 
Vil let out a satisfied hum as he ate his slice, "I think, for our next relaxation day, we should make one of these."
"A pie?" You questioned.
"Mhm.  I've never really had the opportunity to just bake something," he said, violet eyes looking at you with a sweet innocence.
"Alright, next week then…"
                                  ….
Over the next week, you had received more information about your new job at the secondary location of Monstro lounge, and Vil had gone out to do…whatever it was he did. You tooootally didn't care. Nope. Not at all.
You'd forgotten all about the promise to bake on relaxation day. Vil hadn't.
Just as on the previous week, he was at your door bright and early. This time though, Grim was much more excited, considering you wouldn't be going outside, and you  would be working with his favorite thing…food.
The entire time you were baking, you found yourself mesmerized by Vil's every movement. You realized this was probably second nature to him, considering potions were not so different from baking. He sliced the apples as though cutting through butter, he mixed the crust with trained movements, and he baked it to perfection. He was just so….
"Perfect," Vil said, eyeing the finished product. He glanced at you, eyes flashing with something you couldn't pick up. "Thank you for doing this with me."
"You did most of the work," you laughed. 
He smirked, and looked away, humming as though he knew a secret.
                              ….
The next week, you had learned your lesson, and we're up early.  However, things were different when he came to your door.
"We have to change our plans today. The time has come to pick the new Pomefiore housewarden. I think you should come with me."
You tilted your head in confusion, "why?"
"Because, Epel is up for the running, and I'm sure he could use his favorite people for support." He turned to leave, before looking back at you. "Text Deuce and tell him we'll pick him up on the way."
Tag list: @stygianoir @da-disappointment
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ghostvvitch · 8 months
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How my dream job ruined my life (for a while)
I am an English teacher. I got my first job completely at random. It was a village primary school, and the job was difficult and insanely demanding. Also, I had zero experience with teaching so I was figuring my shit out as I went.
I got ambitious, I thought teaching older students would be much easier and less demanding, which it wasn't, spoiler alert.
I got a job at a secondary school I used to study at back in the day. It was challenging, but it was a challenge I enjoyed, as it kept me busy and I was interested in it much more than teaching primary school.
Some of my colleagues though, were really toxic for some reason.
They kept gossiping about me, in the halls, in front of the students. And don't get me wrong, gossiping among teachers is a fairly normal phenomenon, they all do it, but doing it so that I would hear and then act all friendly to my face was a bit too much.
I had an understanding with the headmistress that my contract would be extended for the next school year as well. She told me she's counting on me to stay, went to one of my lessons, said it was great and stuff. And that I should let her know at the end of march at the latest if I decided to go elsewere, so she would have plenty of time to find a replacement for me. And of course I wanted to stay so I said that, but I'd let her know if anything happens.
And then, unfortunately for me, I got sick. It was pretty random, I just started throwing up one day and couldn't keep any food down for days, not even water. The first day I had a monstrous headache because of that and had to go to the ER, which didn't help at all btw.
Anyway, this was going on for a few weeks, and I was trying to figure out what is wrong with my stomach and stuff like that.
The whole problem was that one of my colleagues, a great friend of mine who is a friend to this day, was also on sick leave during the same time as me. Might seem related, but it wasn't. He started earlier, had surgery and had to stay at home. A week after his surgery, my problems started and I had to stay at home too.
Even bigger problem, we came back to work at the same time. Also unrelated, but people made a big deal out of it. Started spreading rumours that we were together during that time. One version of the story said that I asked for sick leave because I didn't want to go to work by bus, which is insane.
I was outraged when I heard, but then again, teachers gossip so I didn't think much of it.
The day I got back to work, I went to ask the headmistress about the contract extension. She said she was busy and would call me, so I was like okay.
She didn't call. A day passes, two days.
And then she calls me in my office and asks me to come see her.
So I go to her office. She doesn't ask me to sit down. Makes a whole speach about how I only teach English and she can't afford to employ people who only teach one subject (even though there was plenty of teachers like that), and that she's decided she won't extend my contract after all. It's nothing personal, she said, plus she had people with multiple subjects interested in the position. It was a bit weird to me, but I thought to myself, that's fair- it's better for them to pay one person instead of two. Tough luck for me though.
Honestly, I was dumbfounded. My friends and colleagues were angry, and honestly, I was too after a while, because things went to even bigger shit very quickly.
I heard people calling teachers from other schools, urging them to quit there and come teaching to our school, because we were 'short staffed'. They were telling people there are no teachers available and they urgently need someone to teach next year. So you can imagine my surprise. Like, hello? You do have a teacher. I was available all this time, but you said you had people with multiple subjects interested in the position. So what's the deal?
I think about it and come to the conclusion that they probably just don't like me and don't want to say it to my face, because that's another thing about teachers - some of them are fake as fuck. I probably shouldn't be saying this as a person of this same profession, but some people are honestly up there when it comes to wanting to fuck people's lives.
So I'm like okay, guess that's the situation now. I was bitter about it for sure, but I'm the kind of person who prefers to be told I'm not liked among some of the colleagues so they want to get rid of me, than fabricating a story about having better people at hand who want to teach here. I mean it's not nice to hear but at least it's fair, you know?
But no. So I go about my life, I'm stressed as fuck because my health problems are still there, I'm not throwing up everywhere I go anymore, but my stomach is giving me a hard time and the food from the canteen is not helping at all. I was also studying during this time, doing my teacher training, writing my final thesis and trying to study for the state exams, which, mixed with my health troubles and having to get ready for a full week of teaching, was extremely stressful and only putting more strain on my fucked up mental and physical health.
I was a wreck, I was lashing out at everyone, I wanted to kill myself on multiple occasions, I was making plans on how to do it effectively so no one could save me if they found me in time, shit like that.
People kept giving me shit for not attending department meetings, when I had a day off to go to the doctor's.
It was hell.
But the cherry on top was the last meeting of the school year, where all the teachers discussed final grades of all students and so on.
The headmistress comes in, starts talking crap about how I'm leaving and so and so, and how in my place she accepted a lady who also teaches english, and nothing else.
And I shit you not, half the people turn their heads to me, because they know about the situation of course, and I'm like WOW. So you lied to me this whole fucking time? What did I do that made you hate me so bad that you make a person quit to come here and teach ONE subject. What did I fucking do that you made such a big deal about not being able to employ people who teach one subject, AND THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND EMPLOY A PERSON LIKE THAT?! THE FUCK?
People were looking at me and I felt like shit. Like I've never felt worse in my life. I was stressed the fuck out from all that was going on in my life, I had no time to look for a new job because I had to write that stupid ass final thesis and learn for my state exams, which were all things that were coming up soon and all were happening on the same day, so I had to make fucking haste.
It was a time where I honestly did not want to live. I've never, in my 27 years of life, felt worse than during that time.
People kept telling me, well good riddance, if they don't want you here you can find something better. And I knew they were probably right, but I couldn't believe it in that state I was in.
My partner was trying really hard to be supportive, and I'm so glad to have him by my side, but I was giving him hell. I was so mean to him, not believing a word he said about the future, telling him how I was gonna kill myself and so on. I gave him the absolute hell on earth during that time, and I apologised multiple times for it because he didn't deserve it. I still feel bad about it, but also immensely grateful that this is the person I'm with, and that he pushed through and didn't give up on me.
In the end, everything turned out great actually. I'm much happier than I've ever been, and it's largely thanks to the change of environment, both home and work. I'm very grateful and I know that karma is waiting for those fucks.
Don't sacrifice your peace of mind. I loved, and still love, teaching. Sometimes, however, it's the people who should support you, and help you, the people with the same mission as you, who throw so much shit your way, who try to make you miserable any way they can, without giving you a proper reason, that make me hate the job at times. It's fucked up beyond belief that people put that much time and energy to destroy you.
And yet, I'm still here, still doing it, so maybe they should have tried harder.
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riahchan · 2 years
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words-4u · 2 years
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Hi there,
Can you make a Lewis one where you are Toto’s little girl (like not his daughter but he sees you as one, and works for merc) and dating with Lewis. You found out you’re pregnant 🤰🏽 and just as Lewis is proposing… idk if it makes much sense, sorry my English
Thanks, love 💕💕
formula 1 masterlist
lewis hamilton x fem!reader
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you started at the mercedes amg f1 team in 2017 as a pr intern
the position was supposed to last 3 months but they kept extending your contract race after race and before you knew it you were with them for the whole season
toto was the one to sit you down and talk to you about how well you were doing and how you fit right into the merc fam the very next day, he had papers drawn up and offered you a permanent position which you happily accepted
everyone on the team was happy you were staying on and sebastian vettel even got you a cake to celebrate
the new role you were assigned was lewis hamiltons' pr "media" person
your job consisted of being that person who tells the driver, in your case lewis, important info before talking to the media: who's whom, what can and can't be discussed during press talk and you're also responsible to record everything they say if they ever get misquoted by the media
your day started and ended with lewis and you couldn't complain because you two got on like a house on fire and everyone was starting to notice including your sweetly overprotective boss, toto
three months into your new job, lewis dropped you off at your hotel at the end of a successful race day and had asked you on a date 
there was a bit of hesitation on your part because you work so closely together and you didn't want to ruin it but lewis assured you that if things didn't work out, which he was sure that things would, he would keep it 100% professional
upon hearing that you agreed to the first date and the second and the third
toto found out when you were messaging about each other's plans for the week off and you absentmindedly included that you were travelling with lewis to london to meet his family for the first time 
toto called you immediately demanding to know why you were meeting lewis's family and seeing as he is such an important figure in your life, you told him everything 
toto has been protective of you since you were a baby intern so you expected him to have some reservations but you were adamant that what you felt for lewis was real and vice versa
4 years later...
for the past three days, you've woken up super sick and had thrown up multiple times
when you told your best friend about it she suggested you take a pregnancy test 
you waited until lewis left for the hungarian grand prix to buy and take the test. you didn't want to tell him anything at the moment because a) it would seriously distract him and b) you didn't want to give him false hope  
the second you saw the two lines on the stick, you squealed. it was really happening! you were gonna start a family with the love of your life.
unbeknownst to you, lewis was already planning to make you his family. before leaving for the hgp, out of respect he asked your dad for your hand in marriage and then he asked your work dad aka toto wolff.
toto was overjoyed. he couldn't imagine a better person for you than lewis.
"besides joining mercedes, i think this is the best decision you've ever made," toto joked but quickly got serious. "but you know how much y/n means to me so don't fuck it up..."
lewis laughed, "man, we've already been together 4 years. i think i know what i'm doing." 
"well, it doesn't hurt to remind you," his boss said clapping a hand on his shoulder before walking away.
after lewis returned from the grand prix, he had angela set up a dinner with friends and family. he told you it was because he hadn't seen them in a while (which was true) but he was also planning to propose that night.
the dinner party was going great. drinks were flowing (not for you, unfortunately), and several different conversations were held by your guests mingling. 
you were invested in a conversation with your best friends about your pregnancy with lewis when everyone fell quiet, the room went dark and fairy lights went on.
in your confusion, you turned around and caught the sight of lewis down on one knee with a small velvet box in one hand.  
you clasped a hand against your mouth in shock.
"i'm gonna be honest, the day toto introduced you to me, i knew i was screwed because you, y/n y/l/n, have consumed my every thought since. we quickly became friends and now you are my best friend. my shoulder to lean on, the one person i know i can count on; you’re the love of my life, you’re my one and only, you’re my everything. i wake up thinking about you and i sleep dreaming of you. there is no one on earth better for me than you and nothing would make me happier than being yours forever. so y/n, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"
there was no way to stop the tears from flowing down your face no matter how hard you tried. "oh my god, lewis. absolutely... i can't think of anything i want more than to be your wife."
lewis slid the most beautiful rock you have ever seen on your finger before standing up. he held you and buried his face in your neck breathing you in. "i'm so happy right now. i honestly can't imagine my life without you, y/n/n."
"without us..." you whispered hoping he would get the hint and when you felt his body stiffen under your touch, you knew he did.
"no..." he said in utter disbelief.
your tears were back in full force and all you could do was nod your head excitedly. "i found out a couple days ago and i've been waiting to tell you i'm s–"
your sentence was cut short as lewis held your head and crashed his lips into yours. not only had you just agreed to marry him but you were carrying his child. your child. a creation of the love between you.
lewis pulled away and yelled to the room. "not only has this woman given me the honour of being my wife but she's now given me the greatest gift ever. one i've always wanted; the gift of fatherhood," he placed a hand over your stomach.
the room erupted in cheers. most of the women in the room including your mom, your best friends, susie, angela and lewis' mom were brought to tears by your news.
congratulations and hugs were passed around and lewis didn't leave your side the entire night after that. 
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years
Text
Demon Ateez! Carrying Out Their Duties (Rated)
Warnings: NSFW content including lucid dreams with an Incubus, slight mentions of faith, drug possession/dealing, violence, blood/gore, supernatural creatures and imagery. Read at your own discretion.
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❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰
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You outwardly cringed at the last note you sang, or more appropriately, croaked out. But what did you expect when your mentor had been making you belt out note after note, sing reprise after reprise over and over when you were sure the pitch was not in your vocal range?
Speaking of your hell spawn mentor, he himself had a dark grimace on his face, a long despondent sigh coming out of his mouth as a hand ran through the front of his hair in an anxious manner.
"Already past midnight and yet we're back to square 1 ..." He mused out loud as he arranged the sheet music in front of him.
"Well I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but maybe if you had just used your demon abilities and simply given me the voice I wanted, we wouldn't have to be here, down beneath the opera house in this creepy and cold lair of yours, staying up til early dawn practicing mediocre pieces." You didn't mean to come off ungrateful and accusing, but it had been a long day that was being extended no thanks to Hongjoong who refused to let you go back home and sleep until you sang the piece perfectly.
He raised an eyebrow at you, arms folding across his chest.
"I'm not a fan of taking the easy way, further, our contract doesn't dictate what methods I can or can't use to make sure we achieve our goal. Meaning you take what I give you, you ungrateful and greedy mortal."
Leaning back against the piano, he let out a scoff.
"Furthermore, my aim is not to make sure you get the voice you want. What you want is another common and typical voice that all humans can get through the training they give. There's nothing special in it."
Clapping his hands together, he let out a smirk that slightly creeped you out.
"I'm training you, I became your mentor so you can achieve absolute perfection. Achieve a truly mesmerizing and haunting voice that'll leave even angels speechless and envious of you. We're giving you the voice I want..."
Turning back to face the piano, his fingers skillfully ran through the notes briefly, letting you get a hint of the pitch you were to sing.
"Now... from the beginning my little songbird."
❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪
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Getting past the shock that your most trusted friend was actually a supernatural creature from the depths of hell was surprisingly more easy to accept and come to terms with than what you'd thought it'd be. The hard part was accepting the now good fortune that kept coming your way after you entered into a sealed pact with the demon.
"I can guarantee you my dear friend that from now on your life will be much easier. Just leave it all to me and I'll take care of everything." You remember the sly smile he gave you as he finished rolling up the contract and sealing it.
"You won't have to worry about a thing so long as I'm by your side."
But you weren't going to lie, you were infinitely more worried now than you were before. You were so used to having the shittiest of luck and misfortunes happen, that suddenly when out of nowhere you were moved up from being the company's intern to becoming the CEO's personal assistant. It was a shock that surprised nearly everyone else since the man was known not to delegate the job to someone who was still relative new or that hadn't had years of experience and gained his trust. Furthermore, his previous assistant was fired for no reason, hence why you got the position. Although it was something you should have been happy about, it also came with a few downsides, the biggest one being the dirty looks some, mostly your female coworkers, gave you. The worst one was definitely Jia, a woman a few years older than you who did not hide her displeasure at you suddenly getting preferential treatment.
"Have a good day-"
"Oh shut the fuck up Y/N and just go back in there and suck off the boss. After all, isn't that how you climbed up so high?" She spat out angrily one day while everyone was collecting their belongings, completely humiliating you in front of everyone which made you feel bad.
Grabbing her bag, Jia angrily stomped out of the building and out to her car. Shutting the door, she inserted the key in the ignition but for some reason it wouldn't turn.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." She groaned as she tried to force the key, not noticing the figure that was watching her from the backseat.
5 minutes later, the back door opened and Seonghwa stepped out of the vehicle, the last remnants of the red stains on his body fading out, the sharp claws on his hand retracting back in his body. Taking one last look behind him, he reveled in the sight of the woman in the car, eyes wide open as the tear in her chest continued to pour out endless bouts of blood. He chuckled as he fixed the cuffs on his jacket while leaving the parking lot.
"I have a little too much fun in what I do."
❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸
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Using his supernatural abilities to gaze into the distance, Yunho had a smile on his face as he saw that you were already on your way home, walking ever so quietly and seemingly with no care of your surroundings. He found it extremely amusing that you never noticed any of the perverted eyes that took longer glances than they should at your body, or failed to guess that those remarks that seemed like friendly greetings actually had hidden meanings in them.
"Oh my dear you really are too pure and innocent for this world......... how lovely." He inwardly chuckled.
The opportunity he had been waiting for came in the form of a boom lift that a few construction workers were using for the building that was in the making. Coincidentally, you were walking past that building, just a few meters away from being right under the lift that had a few workers passing heavy bags of dry cement over to the other workers inside the unfinished building.
"What are the chances that they accidentally drop one of those extremely weighted bags straight onto the poor, unsuspecting girl underneath them?..." Yunho wondered to himself, his eyes momentarily going completely black.
"Very certain."
As soon as he said that, some of the men lost grip on the heavy bag and watched it fall from their hands. They frantically screamed as they realized it was about to hit you. You didn't even get a chance to look up to see what was happening because suddenly you were pushed away and slammed against concrete wall nearest to you before the dry cement bag hit you, instead hitting against the pavement, the impact making it burst open and spread a few gusts of its contents. The figure who had prevented such a tragic accident was panting, no doubt from how fast he had to run to reach you in time.
"Are you ok?" You gazed up into the same handsome face you had seen before in the elevator the other day, the sight of him alone making you feel nervous and jittery.
"Y-yeah.... thank you. I didn't even know that-" You couldn't even finish your sentence as it dawned on you that you literally just escaped the clutches of a certain death had it not been for the new neighbor that recently moved into your apartment complex.
Yunho looked back at the mess behind him, cringing slightly.
"That could have gone seriously wrong." He shook his head.
Pulling himself off you, he extended a hand out to you.
"It's dangerous for a little lady such as yourself to walk home alone. Why don't you allow me to escort you back home?"
You were baffled by his charming and kind manners, but accepted nonetheless. Yunho smiled warmly at you when you took his hand, looking oh so kind, but underneath that mask, he was smirking triumphantly.
"Oh this is going to be too easy..."
❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰
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You looked around at the new and spacious bedroom of yours. The room alone was already bigger than the old and compacted apartment you used to live in. Needless to say, you were very wary and on edge.
"What? Do you not like it?" Yeosang asked from behind, his proximity startling you when you felt his breath against your ear.
"No that's not the case. It's just....isn't this a little too much?" You questioned as you inspected the king sized bed that probably costed more than your entire existence.
Yeosang rolled his eyes at you.
"Poor and pitiful mortal. You forget I'm also going to live with you from now on and I happen to be accustomed to particular tastes and expenses."
You sighed softly and decided to just try to adjust to your new lifestyle, even if it terrified you to no end. You tossed and turned in your sleep that night, that is if you could even classify it as sleep given that your eyes were wide open and refusing to close.
"Can't sleep?"
You let out a high pitched scream when the demon spawned right next to your bed, nearly scaring your soul out of you. He had a displeased look on his face.
"I really have my work cut out for me if I'm turning your pathetic, cowardly, overly nervous and condescending personality into a more ruthless, powerful and strong one."
Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Yeosang studied your trembling state.
"I take it you're not calming down any moment soon?" He tilted his head at you.
"Unless you have some type of demon potion that'll knock me out or help calm my nerves, especially after you scared the shit out of me!" You made sure to emphasize the last point.
"I'm probably not going to be able relax anytime soon."
Yeosang nodded, fingers tapping across the soft sheets.
"Well no, I don't have a potion with me at the moment.......I have something even better."
If the demon startled you by simply appearing next to you, now he was nearly frightening you as he got into bed with you and crawled his way in between your legs.
"Whoah Whoah wait! What are you doing?" You gasped when you saw him start pulling your bottoms off.
Yeosang looked up at you with a suggestive smirk.
"My mistress needs help relaxing and I'd be more than happy to oblige in any way I can. After all...."
You inhaled sharply when you felt the demon's lips start kissing up between your thighs, his eyes never looking away from your face, making you shudder when you saw them glow that fiery orange hue they sometimes got.
"What kind of demon butler would I be if I can't do this much?"
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷
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You were practically running inside your apartment, slamming the door behind you rather harshly as you ran into your bedroom, the hallway already being littered with a trail of clothes that had been torn off your body. The discarded panties at the foot of the bed were already soiled with the arousal that was pouring out from your heat.
For the past days you had been a lot more hormonal than usual, for a mild way of putting it. Every time you came from work after long, grueling hours, all you could think about was coming back home and going straight to bed, not just because it was the dead of night, but because you wished to drift off into another one of your exhilarating dreams that always featured the same man of your fantasies, fulfilling all your deepest and filthiest needs. It had become an addiction at this point if you were being honest. With head resting itself on the soft pillow, you closed your eyes and relaxed your muscles, the tiring day starting to take a toll on your body, making sure fall asleep faster than what you expected.
Soon enough, you were awakened in your fantasy world by a pair of lips in between your legs. Looking down, you spotted a familiar head of hair near your thighs, the person's face buried deep in your mouth, the harsh slurping sounds of their suckling on your clit made the image even more erotic.
"Miss me baby?" Your fantasy man looked up only to send a cocky smirk at you, eyes locked as he dipped his tongue back into your folds.
"Ah - yes master." You moaned out.
You could feel him smirking against your nub, no doubt because you used the title he loved hearing come out of your lips.
"Master missed his good little slave too. Missed the sweet taste of her little cunt."
Pulling away, he sucked on his fingertips before slamming them down against your clit, making you yelp out in aroused pain. Your back arched as he landed a couple more hits on your clit, making you cry out even louder as your hole screamed to be filled by him.
"Like that my little slave? Like getting your pussy slapped by my hand?" He grunted as he used his free hand to insert 2 of his fingers into your hole.
"F-fuck yes! I love it." You exclaimed, your toes curling as you drowned in the feeling of his fingers moving deep inside you as his other hand alternated between rubbing harshly against your swollen clit before coming down to smack it again.
"Of course you love it. You're nothing but a little horny slut after all. Always coming here to get fucked by your master..." He chuckled darkly as he continued to play with you until you were completely passed out.
Phasing himself out of your dream, San wiped the sweat off his forehead, chest rising up and down harshly as he tried to catch his breath. His softening dick was still leaking cum as his tanned skin glowed against the moonlight peaking through the slit of the curtains. Looking over, San smiled softly at your sleeping figure, eyes trained on the hand in between your thighs.
"Oh my little one, I can't wait to fuck you in real life...."
❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲
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You walked slowly through the dark alley, earbuds in yet no music was playing. The two figures trailing behind you thought you were probably the most stupid and careless girl in the world. That area was known for its extensive crime rate, recently a bunch of women had been going missing in those streets, only to found weeks later in lakes, ditches or dumpsters, either body fully intact or just pieces that them.
Glancing behind you, you finally took notice of the two men and your face was startled with fear. Turning quickly away, you sped up your pace, only to have them speed theirs up to. Having left no alternative, you ripped the earbuds off and started sprinting as fast as you could away from them. You could hear their footsteps behind you, yet you didn't even try to call out for help, not like you could in your current state of running for your life, lungs hurting from the adrenaline pumping through your veins.
You nearly tripped over your own feet as you halted violently, staring with wide eyes at the wall in front of you, signaling that you came across a dead end. You immediately turned around, hoping to be quick enough to escape, sadly luck wasn't on your side as the two men caught up and were starting to corner you.
"Nowhere to run away now darling." One of them snickered, hand reaching into his coat to pull out a what no doubt was a cloth soaked in chloroform.
"Didn't daddy ever teach you not to walk alone at this time of night?" The other shook his head.
You stepped back until your back hit against the wall, yet still remained calm.
"That's a good little girl, no need to make a scene and scream like all the other ones before you."
Your fist tightened when you heard those words, eyebrow raising at the two criminals.
"So you admit you're behind the murders of all those women?"
The two men actually bursted out laughing.
"We're just one of many in the circle honey. But I'd be more than happy to let you in on the details of certain ones. After all..... you'll meet a similar fate as them." The taller one out stretched his hand to place the cloth on your face.
"No I won't, but you'll certainly meet an even worse one."
Before they could even ask what you meant, you stepped aside as their bodies lurched forward from the impact of something tearing into their chest from behind. In an instant, their bodies fell to the ground, blood staining the pavement underneath them, their heavy gasps trying desperately to cling to life itself. With an unfazed look, you stared at the demon in front of you, wide smile on his face as his hands held up the still beating hearts of the men on the floor.
"Do you wish to prolong their pain and suffering master?" Your contracted demon, Mingi asked so casually.
"Just end their worthless lives already."
Crushing the organs until they were hardly recognizable, Mingi let out a soft scoff as the two men finally stopped breathing and went out cold. Tossing the remnants next to them, Mingi came up and brushed out some of your hair.
"I take it the mission was a success?"
You gently pushed his hands away, not fond of the slightest bit of affection and proceeded to start walking away.
"You heard them, they're just two rats. Their litter is still out there somewhere. And we're going to find them and make them pay...... just like the rest of the scumbags of humanity."
Mingi chuckled as he followed not far behind you.
"Very well said my master."
❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰
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Watching your care skim past the bar made you release a sigh you didn't even know you were holding. You felt proud of him, truly. It seemed as if everything was just fine and the occurence of the other tragic day was simply a one time slip up. Perhaps you were worried for nothing...
Until someone sketchy looking came up to him and offered him what you knew wasn't pixie stix. You pinched the bridge of your nose as he didn't hesitate to buy the large quantity of the methamphetamine held out to him. As if things couldn't get worse...
"Just give up on him already. Humans are naturally destined to be doomed and fall further into sin."
You didn't need to turn around to know who it was behind you. You had distinguished that obnoxious and loathsome voice ever since that day you met the hell spawn. Although you were surprised by the sudden arms wrapping themselves around your waist, you didn't flinch nor did anything to push the demon off you, who was looking at you with such eagerness.
"Hello my oh so ethereal angel. Did you miss me?" He chuckled as pressed his nose against your hair, his body reacting to your scent that was intoxicating to him.
"Seducing a heavenly creature without even bothering to learn their names..... typical of your kind."
The demon grunted when he felt you elbow him, giving you a chance to escape his clutches which you used to your advantage. Getting over the pain quickly, he trailed right behind you, not yet ready to let you go so soon.
"Well then why don't we properly introduce ourselves?"
You had to stop in your tracks when the demon spawned in front of you, hand outstretched.
"I'm Wooyoung, and who are you my beautiful lady?"
With a straight and icy look, you replied:
"Y/N."
He beamed at your response.
"Pleasure to be able to make such a friend as you my dear Y/N-"
He was taken aback when you suddenly bursted out laughing so loudly. For a second, he actually thought you went mad.
"Me? Friends with you?" Your smiling face soon changed back to its nonchalant expression, your ability to switch moods so instantly scaring the demon.
"Don't make me laugh."
You started walking towards Wooyoung with slow yet menacing steps, for the first time in his immortal life, the demon was backing away from an angelic being.
"What on earth makes you think I'd ever be friends with a disgusting, filthy, sinful creature as you?" You didn't bother hiding your disgusted look as you peered at him.
"You're nothing but the lowest of the low.... and I'm warning you now, stay away from my human.... you make me sick. "
You left him there stunned by your degradation, unable to do anything but watch as you faded away. Boiling with rage, Wooyoung transported back to his home in the realms of hell. In anger and frustration, he began tearing and breaking up the furniture around him, startling some of the other hell creatures nearby that watched him storm into his room. Slamming the door behind him, Wooyoung seethed with fury.
"I don't care who the fuck you think you are, you will be mine one way or another Y/N.."
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸
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"Wanna try some?"
You looked over to see Jongho holding out a weird looking liquid from a vial he was holding. Although you didn't know much, you knew it was not anything good.
"Is this another one of your attempts to seduce me?" You quipped an eyebrow at him.
"Is it working?" He smiled too innocently at you for someone known to be the cause of so many wrongdoings in the world.
"Hmmm....... not really." You shrugged and looked back at city in front of you.
It had become a routine by now. Every night you'd sit up in that building, watching the city and its people with the demon next to you, talking about everything and nothing. And yes, more often than not he'd be trying to convince you to participate in something that was definitely not holy, whether it was drinking intoxicated substances, using narcotics or even trying to get you to give in to fleshly desires. They never worked as you never felt remotely tempted to join him. Perhaps your good side was still pretty strong if you weren't curious enough to try it.
"What? Afraid you'll lose the chance to go back to your home?" He snorted at you.
"No I just..... I don't know." You responded, your look turning somewhat sad and dark.
"What's so great about heaven anyways? You yourself described it as a boring cage." He spat out.
"Oh and I suppose your chamber of fire is any better?" You rolled your eyes.
"Hell? Oh definitely baby. It's wild, wicked and loads of fun. But you wouldn't understand fun even if it hit you in the face."
You couldn't help but laugh at that.
"You should come see it sometime." He suddenly offered, which had you whipping your head to him.
"Before you say no, let me assure you it is possible to come into hell without the worry of getting stained. Many fallen angels have traveled through the gates....granted they ended up falling to temptation, but that was by personal choice. We're not as strict about entrance as they are up there. I'll show you around and make sure no one bothers you if it makes you feel better."
You could tell by the look on his face that it wasn't another attempt to get you to completely fall. He just wanted to show you his home, where he grew up. Sure he was a demon and their primary goal was to make humans and other beings fall into eternal sin, but so far Jongho hadn't ever succeeded, mostly due to him not pushing you to do anything you didn't want. And besides, you knew you were strong enough to resist anything. And you were curious....
"Ok then. Take me to hell."
Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.
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phyrexian-arena · 2 years
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2022 goals
danke fürs taggen @waldesgeist 🖤🖤✨
generally i don't really keep resolutions or whatever... time is weird and i'm not in the market to be disappointed. my motivations are beyond time constrictions lmao but i guess i can sum it up to:
finishing my masters degree
keep my workout schedule consistent
spend more time reading and less time scrolling
get my contract extended for my job or alternatively finding something even better
go hiking more often we have some beautiful trails in the area and i don't use em it's a shame
also i downloaded the pixels app and wanna start tracking every day for a neat little mood overview by new year's eve next year
LARP! LARP! LARP! LARP! LARP! LARP!
that's all i could think of at the top of my head... for once i didn't draft and plan these kinda tag things out so you'll have it that way
i won't tag anyone but if you wanna then you're tagged
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stacychhristine · 2 years
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I hate it here
My boyfriend is angry towards me for everything. He gives me an attitude for everything I do. He feels pressure because I have no income coming in. He's angry at me because I am "working" but he sees no money. (That's because I was off boarding clients that paid in full)
The one client that I had. That wanted to extend my services for an extra 3 months said that because I told her I can't meet with her after 1pm she didn't want to continue my services. I told her I can't meet with her after 1pm because my boyfriend wants to spend time with me. Some would look at it as awww he really loves me. In my heart I feel like I need to be available for my clients more. When I started typing that I felt like I'm making an excuse. I can make my business work with what I have. It is possible. IT IS STACY!
At the beginning of this online journey I would "work" mostly around his schedule. Except for my 6pm class. He honestly started to hate that too.
I don't want to be stuck up someone's ass. I want to be able to do what I want to do freely. After me and his 12/22/21 incident where he cut his hand open then tried to blame me for the cut and his broken glasses, I knew that I no longer want to be in a relationship with him. I knew that my safety was jeopardized because he also pushed me up against the dresser which caused a bruise on my back. The next day when I showed him that bruise he said, "that's you fault. I told you not to call anyone." I called his cousin because he was not calming down.
All that being said is... I'm not safe. I currently at the moment have to suck up to this man that is paying all the bills. I currently at this moment have to do things I don't want to do because I don't want to "wake up the beast." I used to think "aww its so cute I'm beauty and he's the beast." But in actuality the beast was an actual gentle being when it came to the beauty. He was protective yes. His emotions were strong yes. But he was a gentle beast to the beauty.
That's exactly what I need. A gentle beast. A person who is understanding of my hustle. A person who isn't wishy washy with what he actually believes in. A person who isn't a ME TOO kind of person. Someone who truly knows who he is and what he can bring to the table... WHICH IS MORE THAN JUST COOKING. Of course I'm grateful for the food and cooking regularly because my kid and him made me hate my cooking. But I honestly need soooo much more.
The biggest thing that hits me hard is for the first 6 months I was there being supportive of his wishy washy jobs. The jobs that didn't want to pay him on time or didn't want to pay him at all. I moved him into my sanctuary with out hesitation. Before I even spoke to my landlord. I risked my household that I "worked" so hard to get when I was coming out the shelter. Almost 3 years later that same thing is not reciprocated. I mean it is because he has no choice but to pay the rent and feed us. But its with a HUGE FIGHT AND A HUGE ATTITUDE. I don't deserve it at all. Yes there are times that I am selfish but its not for the JUST ME. Its for our future. It's to level us up.
Right now my safety is the most important. I have to comply with what the beast wants. Just so things can go smoother in my household. I'm grateful my clients didn't extend our contract. I'm grateful that I am able to focus on me and HEAL MYSELF before I try and save the world.
My goal is to launch this podcast and this podcast will be the place I announce everything. I will announce what I'm selling. What moves I've accomplished (not what I'm about to do) but what I accomplished. My book is still a work in progress. I still need tons of healing from domestic violence and from depending on a man for shelter and security. That right there is generational stuff that I need to break off. That's why it hasn't been so easy. That's why it keeps coming up. I told GOD I'm willing to sacrifice for my family and I am. I'm just going to keep being obedient to him and TRUST that he will provide.
AMEN!
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