#my apologies to the real john and sam
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Family
Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, Sam Winchester x little sister!reader
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: You’re the Winchester’s little sister, but you don’t look anything like them, which causes some problems occasionally
“Just one room.”
“She legal?” The motel clerk glanced at you, then frowned at Sam and Dean.
“She’s our sister,” Dean said, disgusted, while Sam scowled at the guy.
The man scoffed.
“Your sister? Right, do I look stupid?”
You felt your head droop, and tried to push away the hurt that stabbed at you. You didn’t blame the guy for wondering; you were John Winchester’s daughter, but Mary wasn’t your mother. You took after your mother in looks, meaning you looked nothing like your brothers. That might not have bothered you as much, if you also hadn’t spent the first several years of your life with your mom, away from your brothers. You saw the intense bond they had, and you couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, even though you hardly remembered life before them.
Trying to compete with the years they had before you felt like an uphill battle. And it definitely didn’t help when every new person you met acted like it wasn’t anywhere near the realm of possibility that you were family.
“Just give me the dang room key,” Dean growled. The guy looked skeptical, but you figured he wasn’t paid enough to bother arguing, and he handed over the key. “Thank you,” Dean said a little too aggressively, and the three of you went to find your motel room.
“Sorry,” you weren’t sure why you mumbled an apology to Dean, and he turned to you in confusion.
“Don’t apologize, he’s an idiot,” Dean swung an arm around your shoulder as he led you to the room. “He’s going on looks alone, but blood runs deeper, little sister.”
…
“Hey, sorry, family only,” a nurse held out his hand to stop you as you tried to enter Dean’s hospital room.
“She is family,” Sam insisted, trying to lead you around the man.
“Look sir, it’s just our policy.”
Sam turned to glare at the man.
“I told you, she’s family.”
“It’s ok Sam,” you mumbled. “Just go in, Dean’s probably anxious to see you.”
“No, it’s not ok,” Sam insisted. “Sir, she’s our sister, and she’s going in that room.”
“I…excuse me, you’ll have to talk to one of my superiors,” the man slipped away, and Sam turned to you.
“Dean wants to see you, too. I’m getting you in there.”
“He’d rather see you anyway, it’s really ok.”
Sam’s head cocked to the side.
“What? What are you talking about, Dean wouldn’t-“
“Sam, please don’t lie to me,” your eyes fell to the white tile floor as you avoided Sam’s penetrating stare. “You and Dean are like-like totally inseparable, and I don’t want to get in the way anyway. If they won’t let me in, Dean will be fine, but he needs to see you.”
“That’s ridiculous!” You jumped a little at Sam’s outburst, and he lowered his voice to avoid attention. “Kid, Dean wants to see you just as much as he wants to see me. You’re his little sister, in the same way that I’m his brother. And the same goes for me,” Sam knelt on the ground so that his face invaded your lowered eyes, and you had no choice but to look at him. “Sweetheart, your family. You deserve that title every bit as much as Dean and me.”
“I’m not even a real Winchester,” you blinked rapidly as tears stung your eyes. “We don’t even have the same mom. I don’t look anything like you guys.”
“You think that matters?” Sam sounded so heartbroken. “Y/N that means nothing, ok? You’re our sister, our family. You mean every bit as much to me as Dean does, and don’t you ever forget that. Understand?”
“Alright, what seems to be the trouble here?” A woman asked as she approached you and Sam.
“No problem,” Sam insisted. “I’m taking my sister in to see our brother, if you have a problem with that, too bad.” He brushed past the woman, guiding you with a firm hand on your shoulder as the two of you entered Dean’s room.
“Sam,” you whispered before you got within earshot of Dean. Sam hummed. “I understand. Thanks.”
Sam grinned.
“Anytime, little sister.”
#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean and sam#dean winchester x you#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#supernatural dean#the winchesters#winchesters x sister#winchesters x reader#winchester#spn sam winchester#the winchester brothers
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Back Into Trouble (Winchester!Reader x Winchester Bros PLATONIC)
A sequel to Brother Mine
This fic takes place somewhere near the end of season 1, after episode 19 but before episode 20. In addition, there's a song called Brother Mine that is really sweet and cute especially if put into this context of being Sam and Dean's, but especially Dean's, older brother. "I know that I sit and I worry too much/Especially when you come home such a sight/But I guess what you've got to do, boy, you go ahead and do it/And I sure hope things will be all right"
You may not have enjoyed returning to hunting, but you're damn good at it.
Although it's made even more frustrating when your father actually calls in.
You're not so thrilled about continuing on this... gallivanting cross-country, especially when John is chasing down the demon that killed your mother.
But Sam seems to have come to terms with it, though you honestly feel like that might have more to do with his desire to avenge Jess.
The real problem you see with your little brothers is their inability to let go.
You had all been raised by John in the hunting lifestyle, the family business.
But it's been decades since your mother's death. A horrible thing, that you have had to come to terms with having no real answers for.
And you can understand the desire for vengeance, for a clear-cut answer that will "solve everything."
It won't.
Something you've tried to get your brothers to think about is the future. About what they want out of their lives.
Because you remember how it was, living completely in the moment, day to day, hunt to hunt. And it was Bobby who pointed out that you had potential, that you deserved a life, if not now, then at least the promise of one.
So you convince them to take a rest in Massachusetts after leaving a hunt. Just to take a couple of days for hanging out.
Dean wants to see the Cheers bar and Sam wants to visit the Old North Church, so you get an actual hotel suite in Boston.
You check in with your colleagues and employees, apologizing for being incommunicado for so long. Thankfully the hotel has a business center with a fax machine you can sign invoices and contracts with.
Dean looks at you curiously. "So... you really did just... start a business?"
"Technically I bought it out from the owner who wanted to retire. So more... maintaining."
"You really are just... out of the life."
"I was, til you two called me."
"...sorry." Dean mumbles, and you grab his shoulder.
"Don't be. I was never doing this for Dad. I'm here for you and for Sammy."
Dean nods thoughtfully.
"You saw him. With that girl at the art gallery. He liked her. She liked him."
"Yeah."
"And you... with Cassie."
"Your point being?"
"Life keeps building off-ramps for you but you keep on truckin down this road."
Dean scowls. "Look, I'm not stupid. I know this life is dangerous. I know my days are probably numbered. But I'm making a difference. I'm saving people."
"What about you?"
He blinks. "What about me?"
"I'm done trying to force you out of the life, Dean. It's your choice. When we finally deal with all this shit - when the bastard that killed Mom is dead and you and Sam are finally free... I'm not gonna stop you if you go back to hunting."
"You're not?"
You nod. "But I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose contact with you again. I'll be there when you need a place to crash or a voice to call. Maybe you'll even visit me.
"Just... I need you to promise me you're not gonna run yourself into the ground. None of this has been your fault. It's not your fault about Mom, and it wasn't your fault I left, and it's not your fault that Dad couldn't really be a dad to us."
Dean wants to protest but you shush him. "You're gonna do what you do. And I'm gonna stop hunting again. For good this time. But when you decide it's time to come home... I hope you come to me, little brother."
You stand up then, leaving Dean to his thoughts. He's quiet for the rest of the day, but you feel an almost companionable nature to the silence.
And just maybe, after this all... maybe your brothers will follow you away from the things that go bump in the night.
#supernatural x male reader#supernatural x reader#supernatural headcanons#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x male reader#dean winchester x male reader#male reader
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What Could Go Wrong? | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hi, friends! An anon asked for a "protective Bucky" fic, and I was more than happy to oblige. I do actually have two other fics that kinda have a similar vibe, but I'm a slut for protective Bucky. The other two are Nothing Fucks With My Baby and False Reality.
If you like what you read, throw me a reblog so others can find my stuff 🤗
Warning: reader injury (nothing too serious), blood, male ego
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Bucky leaned against the bar with an empty whiskey glass in hand- a glass you could’ve sworn had been full only minutes ago. “Damn, good thing this event is in house- that’s some expensive hooch you’re guzzling there, Barnes”, you teased, “it’s almost like you’re trying to find an excuse to come check up on me…”
The wink you shot his way made him roll his eyes, but his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. To buy himself an extra moment, Bucky took his time examining the lineup of fancy whiskey bottles sitting atop a shelf behind the bar and picked out an especially expensive brand for his next drink.
“I’m not checking up on you, doll. I’m, you know, I’m just- Tony’s got a great stash here. I’m trying to make use of it!” You nudged his shoulder and he nudged you right back, but he knew the jig was up.
“Okay, maybe I was checking on you…” He leaned against your barstool and wrapped at arm protectively around your back, pulling you into his warm embrace, “Sorry. It’s a hard habit to break.” The embarrassment displayed itself quite obviously in Bucky’s downcast eyes and uneasy smile. He couldn’t help but keep an eye on you, even from across the swanky SWORD event.
“Don’t apologize, Buck,” you rested a hand gently on his cheek, “but hey, you don’t have to worry, okay? The hypervigilance can rest tonight. We’re in a room full of the most trusted covert agents in the world- what could go wrong?”
Bucky’s eyes roamed the room full of SWORD agents, appraising everyone as a possible threat. Ever since the fall of SHIELD, Bucky didn’t know how to trust this new agency. Hydra grew- thrived- inside of SHIELD for decades without anyone knowing, and Bucky knew it could happen again.
“No, I know. You’re just up here all alone is all. I thought I should keep you company till Hill comes back”. Once again, Bucky’s lie failed to convince you. You knew he hated you sitting alone at the bar, leaving yourself open to threats from anyone and anything. No matter how many promotions you got or enemies you took down, Bucky couldn’t dilute his worry for your safety. He knew you were a successful, more than competent agent with the skills to defeat anyone in your path, but he couldn’t help but see you as his best girl first.
“Maria will be right back- she just had to call her wife real quick. I promise I’m all good- nothing’s gonna happen to me here”. Bucky narrowed his eyes at you. “Come on, Buck. It really seemed like you and Torres were having a good time over there”, you flicked your eyes in the direction of Joaquin, Sam, and the other SWORD agents who filled their table, “don’t waste your night checking on me every ten minutes”.
Bucky’s intense exterior finally melted, revealing a look of genuine enjoyment. He wore that look around you all the time, but only in the comfort of the private floor you two shared at the compound. To see him so easygoing with a large group warmed your heart, and you weren’t about to let him squander the opportunity to make friends.
“Yeah. Torres is a good kid. I’ll try to relax…”, he grabbed his now-full glass, “holler if you need me?” With a gentle kiss, you agreed to his request. He weaved between the tables of SWORD agents until he reached his seat next to Joaquin, disappearing from your view as he settled in next to his new friend.
Only moments after Bucky took his seat, none other than John Walker took up residence next to you at the bar. His cocky smile and overconfident nature repulsed you instantly, much like it had every other time you interacted with him. But you weren’t the type to back down just because some douchebag entered your space. You remained confidently rooted in place, enjoying your drink, and waiting for Agent Hill to return.
It didn’t take long for Walker to start hitting on you, his complete and utter lack of self-awareness almost making you laugh. He leaned in close and caged you into the bar with his wide shoulders, but his intimidation tactics didn’t work on you. It didn’t matter how many ways he tried, ‘no’ was your only answer.
“Come on, gorgeous”, he begged, “Just leave with me. Let’s get outta here- we can go back to my place…” He attempted to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, but you dodged his calloused fingers. A sharp eye roll accompanied your pointed, “aren’t you married?”. An ugly laugh bellowed from his chest as he leaned in closer, “wow, she’s got an attitude- I like that. But really, babe, don’t you wanna fuck Captain America?”
A sharp scoff pushed its way out of your throat, “You’re not Captain America. You never have been, and you never will be”.
With that, you swiped your martini off the bar and tried to head in Bucky’s direction, but John wasn’t letting you go that easily. “You shut your whore mouth,” John barked as he grabbed you. His strong hand wrapped tightly around your arm, his fingers digging into your flesh. The martini glass in your hand slipped from your grasp, shattering against the marble floor and sending shards of glass spraying against your shins. The alcohol quickly entered your new wounds, sending a sharp stinging sensation into your skin.
Bucky couldn’t seem to stay focused on the conversation at his table. He felt the itch to take a trip to the bar, just to check on his best girl and make sure you were alright. He’d emptied his glass yet again, practically gulping down the expensive whiskey that had absolutely zero effect on him. “Looks like I need a refill, anyone else?” Bucky stood from the table and took Sam’s empty glass in his free hand, happy to have a real excuse to visit you at the bar once more.
As he neared the bar, Bucky picked up on your voice. An air of annoyance colored your words, but he couldn’t imagine you speaking to Maria in such a tone. It was only when he made the final turn around the last table and entered the bar area that he saw what had you so vexed. Maria was nowhere to be found, and John Walker and his smug grin had taken her place. An instant rage burned inside Bucky as he made his way in your direction, but he broke into an all-out sprint when John’s hand locked your arm in a vice grip.
Bucky instantly dropped both glasses, sending even more glass shattering to the ground. “Oh, look out! Your serial killer boyfriend is here to save the day!” John let go of your arm and threw both hands up in a dramatic surrender, “better not touch his precious girl!” Walker touching you without permission made you angry, but his petulant, distasteful comment about Bucky threw you over the edge.
“You better watch your fucking mouth, Walker”, you took a step toward him, glass crunching under your stilettos. Bucky arrived to your aid and put himself between your body and John’s, preventing Walker from getting any closer.
“Go upstairs, baby” Bucky practically begged, but you weren’t going anywhere.
“Yeah, go upstairs,” John laughed, “let the men talk-”
Just then, you lunged at John. One of Bucky’s strong arms wrapped suddenly around your middle, anchoring you in place and protecting you from any retaliation from Walker. “Oh, shit! You almost got me!” a sharp laugh exploded from Walker’s chest as he taunted you, “get control of your woman, Barnes”.
Out of nowhere, a fist connected with John’s strong jaw. Sharp pain radiated through your hand as your knuckles collided with Walker’s extremely punchable face, but you knew better than to show your pain in front of him. “Okay, now I know that hurt you way more than it hurt me, princess”, John reached out to touch you once again, but Bucky shot him a look that could’ve scared the devil himself.
Torres and Sam came running at the sound of trouble, ready to back Bucky up. “Torres, get her out of here”, Bucky handed you off to Joaquin, “Now”. As Torres practically dragged you out of the bar, John called tauntingly after you, “So good seeing you! Great talk!”
“Eat a dick, John!” you hollered back as Joaquin pulled you in the opposite direction. Torres knew how serious it was that another SWORD agent had harassed you, but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing at your rambunctious spirit. He helped you into the elevator and escorted you to the floor you shared with Bucky, hiding his smile all the while.
He watched you struggle to unlock the door, and winced every time he caught a glimpse of your alarmingly swollen knuckles. After witnessing you fail for the third time, he gently offered to unlock the door for you, and you obliged. He flipped on the lights for you and helped you get settled before taking another look at your bloody knuckles.
“This doesn’t look good…I’m gonna go grab you some ice”, he headed for the door, but stopped dead in his tracks before turning back to you with a serious expression. “Let me just say on behalf of every single SWORD agent I’ve ever spoken to: thank you for punching that asshole”.
“Any time, Torres!”
With you safely upstairs, Bucky let his anger take over. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” his voice came out a low snarl, scaring even Sam.
Your drink still lay splattered all over the floor, the alcohol mixing with your blood to form a sickly, red stain against the white marble. Unbridled rage filled every cell in Bucky’s body, his hands shaking with the need to destroy John Walker.
“You can’t scare me, Barnes. I’m a super soldier now, remember?” John threw a cocky eyeroll Bucky’s way, “We’re the same”.
Flashbacks of John mercilessly murdering a Flag Smasher flooded Bucky’s brain. Bucky wasn’t sure how many lives he’d taken as the Winter Soldier, but he knew for certain that it had never been a choice.
“We’re nothing alike-”
“Come on, give it a rest, man,” John retrieved his beer from the bar and took a long swig, “I hit on your girl and now you feel threatened. Relax! What’s wrong with a little friendly competition?”
Bucky’s jaw tensed. He didn’t like seeing other guys throw themselves at you, but never had to worry about you straying. It was the fear in your eyes, the pain John inflicted upon you that threw his bloodlust into overdrive. The image of John’s hand mercilessly gripping your arm sent Bucky flying into a violent rage he'd never felt before. He lunged at John, just like he'd prevented you from doing, with the goal of teaching that smug motherfucker a lesson.
The two men went at each other with tenacity and a clear, bitter hatred. And while John was faster and stronger than he’d ever been, he was no match for the former Winter Soldier. Fueled by the need to keep you safe, Bucky took John out almost effortlessly. The blind fury brought on by John putting hands on you was all Bucky needed to reduce Walker to a bloody pile on the floor. Sam stepped in as John collapsed, stopping Bucky from going any further.
“Hey- okay, okay. He’s down”, Sam’s hand rested firmly on Bucky’s metal shoulder, “He’s down. It’s over. Go check on your girl.”
Bucky took one more step toward John and knelt down near the barely conscious man’s head. In a chillingly calm voice, Bucky delivered a warning, “you ever touch her again, I’ll fucking kill you”. He stared down at the bleeding John Walker and should have been satisfied, but knew such a feeling could only come with the knowledge that you were okay.
He found you in the bedroom the two of you shared, still wearing your fancy cocktail dress. “Baby?” he rushed over and joined you on the bed, his eyes falling immediately to the evidence of Walker’s anger. The purple shape of John’s large hand grew darker by the minute, wrapping around your forearm and illustrating the way he’d manhandled you.
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s already starting to bruise”, Bucky ran a finger lightly over the indigo mark, “does it hurt?”
“Eh, it’s not that bad” you shrugged. “This hurts way more…” you raised your hand and showed Bucky your knuckles, bloodied and swelling from punching a super soldier in the face. He gently took your wounded hand in his and appraised your injury, wincing at the dark blues and purples staring to bloom under your skin.
“It’s really swelling, doll. Let me go get you some ice”. But you informed him that his ‘new BFF, Joaquin’ was already on ice duty, setting a fraction of Bucky’s worry at ease.
“Last thing; let me take a look at your shins. Okay?” Bucky gently draped your legs over his lap and studied the small cuts left behind by the spray of glass. He worried there might be a shard or two embedded deep in your flesh, and took the utmost care to gently check each and every cut for any remaining glass. Satisfied that no glass lay buried in your skin, he made a quick trip to the bathroom for a damp wash cloth and gently cleaned the tiny wounds that carved into your shins. With the excess blood gone, Bucky breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing that they were only superficial injuries and didn’t require stitches allowed him to relax his stiff muscles ever so slightly.
“Well, at least we know they won’t get infected,” you looked at Bucky and waited for him to laugh, but all he could do was cock his head at you. “Cause of the alcohol! My martini came in handy!” Bucky rolled his eyes but finally cracked a smile, unable to resist your dorky joke.
“Hey, how long was Walker bothering you? I could’ve come put him in his place sooner-why didn’t you call me over?” The awkward smile you shot his way told Bucky everything he needed to know. “Baaaaaaby,” he groaned, “when someone is harassing you- especially a coworker- you’re not going to bother me by asking for my help. Okay? You’re never a bother.”
You shrugged, “you were having a good time, though. I haven’t seen you so happy in a social setting in…ever. I just wanted you to have fun- it didn’t seem like something worth ruining your night over…plus, I didn’t think it would escalate that much”.
Any semblance of levity vanished from Bucky’s face as he once again thought back on the gruesome murder John committed. “Well, you didn’t ruin my night- he did. Walker is dangerous, doll. He can’t be trusted. He grabbed you tonight- probably would’ve done more if-”
It was easy for you to see how carried away Bucky was getting, how his anxiety was forcing him into yet another spiral. Images of John murdering a Flag Smasher flashed rapidly behind Bucky’s eyelids, and he couldn’t stop himself from imagining you as Walker’s next victim.
“Okay, okay- hey. You’re right. I’m sorry,” you assured him, “if he ever comes near me or tries to mess with me again, I’ll tell you.” Bucky pressed a long kiss to your forehead and breathed a sigh of relief that he was still able to do so.
“I saw him kill that guy, doll. He murdered someone in cold blood. The guy is unstable-“
A knock at the door set Bucky on high alert. He was fully prepared to see John Walker appear and come for his revenge, but it was Torres who sheepishly opened the door. He presented you with a large bag of ice carefully wrapped in a kitchen towel, “how’s it feeling?” You gave him a shrug and a “probably hurts less than Walker’s face” before accepting the ice and thanking him ten times over. Bucky extended a hand to Joaquin, “I really appreciate you getting her out of there, Torres. And if you ever see Walker around her again, you tell me. Okay?” Joaquin swore up and down to alert Bucky at the first sign of trouble before wishing you a gentle “get well soon”.
Bucky held the ice in position atop your swollen, bloody knuckles, prompting a sharp hiss from your lips. As the cold made contact with your bruised hand, you could’ve sworn that the throbbing pain almost doubled. Bucky checked in on your pain level again and again until the ice finally had your hand completely numb, much to your relief.
“Hey, doll…quick question” Bucky said after a long silence, “why did you try to fight Walker? You know he’s got the super solider serum flowing through his veins now, right?” He stared at you with narrowed eyes, a small smile angling his full lips upwards ever so slightly. He’d always known that you were hard-headed and feisty, but never expected you’d have the moxy to fight a super soldier.
“Because he deserved it! I don’t care about the serum- I’ve got spite and three espresso martinis flowing through my veins”, you flexed your biceps at him, “I think I could’ve taken him, honestly. I’ll fight Bruce Banner, I’ll fight Thor. I don’t give a fuck”. Bucky simply laughed and shook his head, making a mental note to make sure neither Bruce nor Thor ever pissed you off. “But seriously, Buck, thanks for kicking Walker’s ass for me”, you leaned against his strong form and let out a laugh, “it’s every girl’s dream”.
Bucky’s brow furrowed at your comment. “What do you mean? We didn’t fight- we, uh, we actually just had a talk. I’m not that guy anymore, doll. I don’t resort to violence when I-” With your non-injured hand, you grabbed Bucky’s vibranium arm and showed him the evidence of his fight with john. Tiny drops of dried blood spattered the shiny surface and sat nestled in the grooves between the metal plates. Bucky cringed. “Buck, you don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed- this wasn’t senseless violence against an innocent person. This violence made a lot of sense and Walker absolutely deserved it”. Bucky nodded, but you could still see evidence of shame eating away at him bit by bit. “Don’t feel guilty, okay? You can be sure as shit that he doesn’t feel an ounce of remorse for hurting me”.
After considering your point, Bucky almost regretted letting Sam stop him from killing Walker. He felt the burning rage rising in his chest once again, but his concern for you took first priority. “Hey, let me help you get ready for bed, okay? There’s a chance that hand of yours is broken, and I think you might have some trouble getting all the pins out of your hair by yourself”. Instantly, you accepted Bucky’s kind offer.
After the tumultuous night you’d had, Bucky feared causing you even the slightest fraction of pain or discomfort. As cautiously as he could, he fished every last bobby pin from your hair, careful not to pull it or tangle it in any way. He gently brushed it out and tied your long strands into his best attempt at the braid you wore to bed each night.
He removed your make up and helped you out of your dress, replacing the fancy garment with one of his henleys. With Bucky’s help, you climbed into bed, grateful to finally rest after the long and exhausting night. He served you a few Tylenol and wrapped the sheets around you, positioning the blankets just the way you liked. He quickly ditched his fancy clothes and cleaned Walker’s blood off his arm before getting ready for bed and climbing in next to you. You rested your head on his chest like you did every night, ready to fall asleep in the comfort and safety of Bucky’s arms.
“Thank you for everything you did tonight…” you yawned, “you’re so good to me, Buck”. He couldn’t help but smile to himself. Bucky flicked off his bedside lamp and plunged the room into darkness before leaning down ever so slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, doll,” he whispered into the dark, “I’d do anything for you".
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SAM
Seriously? Atlantic City?
DEAN
Hell yeah! Play some roulette. Always bet on black.
(pause)
Hey listen, I've been doing some thinking. Um ... I want you to know I understand why you did it. I understand why you went after the crossroads demon.
SAM sighs.
DEAN
You know, situation was reversed, I guess I'd've done the same thing. (pause) I mean I'm not blind, I see what you're going through with this whole deal, me going away and all that. But you're gonna be okay.
SAM
(looks up at that, exhales, says tonelessly)
You think so.
DEAN
Yeah, you'll keep hunting, y'know, you live your life. You’re stronger than me. You are! (SAM clears his throat) you are... you'll get over it. But I want you to know I'm sorry, I’m sorry for... putting you through all this, I am.
SAM
You know what, Dean? Go screw yourself.
DEAN
What?
SAM
I don't want an apology from you! And by the way, I'm a big boy now, I can take care of myself.
DEAN
Oh, well, excuse me.
SAM (voice raising)
So would you please quit worrying about me? I mean that's the whole problem in the first place. I don't want you to worry about me, Dean, I want you to worry about you! I want you to give a crap that you’re dying!
(DEAN says nothing but smirks)
So, that's it? Nothing else to say for you?
DEAN
I think maybe I'll play craps.
SAM stares at him, outraged. Shakes his head. Sighs in exasperation.
DEAN's smile fades.
They drive on.
See, one will see this in 3.06 and will want to smack Dean upside of the head! Because he is refusing—absolutely refusing—to face the consequences of the deal he's made—the consequences for himself, and the consequences for someone he loves! His words about seeing what he's doing to Sam here are distant and empty when you see the expression on his face within the episode—the disturbing slight smile and the way he just pretends "This is fine". Dean understands that Sam is having an emotional response and he could write down why for a class exercise, but he is refusing to let himself feel it because then all of this would all become real and he would also have to feel scared for himself.
The thing is, smacking Dean upside of the head would not work, and does not work! Dean already hates himself—if Sam is angry at him, or Bobby is angry at him, or he gets called selfish or screwed in the head or told that he's hurting people... well—Dean doesn't like himself either because he failed Sam and John and he's not supposed to be here and he's a curse that gets people killed, so... so what? Big deal! They are telling Dean things Dean already believes. Yelling and accusing may actually exacerbate Dean's belief that he deserves this—that he should not be here.
You know what does work? In 3.07, when Dean plans to run off alone to save the girl Gordon's kidnapped because he thinks "I don't matter anyway and I'm dying anyway", and Sam gets through to Dean just as soon as he uses two things: 1) Compassion and 2) Care.
DEAN
What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I'm gonna die? You know what? I got one. Let's see, what rhymes with "shut up, Sam"?
SAM
Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.
DEAN
I'm not!
SAM
You're lying. And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you.
DEAN
You got no idea what you're talking about.
SAM
Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked.
DEAN
And how do you know that?
SAM
Because I know you!
DEAN
Really?
(That "really" is something—there's a whole other world of things that could be discussed there)
SAM
Yeah, I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just... (pause)
DEAN
What?
SAM
I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... (can't find words; tears in his eyes) just 'cause.
DEAN
(after a pause)
All right, we'll hole up, cover our scent so he can't track us, and wait the night out here.
This is the first time we see Dean actually swayed since the very end of 2.22—and it's because
Sam shows compassion for Dean's state of mind and the actions that have come out of it. He says that he understands that Dean's play at apathy is just that—a play at apathy. Dean isn't acting this way because he's just some jerk who doesn't care about how his actions effect others. Dean is someone who cares, who is acting like he doesn't care because he is scared. Dean is sniping at Sam intentionally to make him angry, so Sam will get mad at him, so they don't have to talk and Dean can be reminded that he makes people mad and he deserves this. Dean isn't some jerk who should be gone because he hurts the people that care about him. Dean is someone who is hurting and scared and Sam understands.
Sam makes it extremely real to Dean how much Sam CARES ABOUT HIM by saying he wants him there "just 'cause". Dean is inherently valuable! Dean matters! And there doesn't have to be a reason, or a need that Dean fills. "Older" or "Big" is omitted before "brother" here, because it isn't about Sam needing Dean to take care of him—just like he said it wasn't in 3.06! It's about Dean being there at all!
#pk rewatches spn number ?#3.06#3.07#season 3#the flannel business#sometimes he is the sweetest brother in the whole wide world actually
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How I Think The Supernatural Men Would React To Finding Out You’re Pregnant.
Dean:
Convinced he heard you wrong
You have to show him the five positive pregnancy tests you took for him to believe you
Immediately starts freaking out
“W-what are we gonna do?! We can’t raise a baby! Not being a hunter we can’t!”
Is adamant on retiring from hunting to keep you and the baby safe.
Wants to start baby proofing the bunker asap.
“Dean, we have eight months and then some before we have to worry about the baby bumping into corners and trying to stick a fork in an electrical outlet.”
He’s so excited to be a dad, although he’s terrified that he’ll turn out like John.
Calls Jodie and Bobby (He’s alive because I said so) and asks them for advice.
Insists on making the baby listen to Led Zeppelin and AC/DC.
Surprisingly, he can’t wait to start decorating the baby’s room. (He even goes to Ikea to pick out furniture)
Sam:
Starts laughing because funny enough, you found out you were pregnant on April 1st.
“Very funny, Y/N.”
“I’m serious, Sammy.”
He went to the store and bought you a pregnancy test just to he sure you weren’t messing with him.
“You’re really pregnant?!”
“Told you, dumbass.”
He laughs, but this time it’s from excitement.
He picks you up and spins you around, which wasn’t a good idea due to morning sickness
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He apologizes as he holds your hair back while you throw up.
“I hate you.”
Makes a list of baby names. He wants to name the baby after either Jodie or Bobby (His real parents) whether that be their first or middle name.
Human!Cas:
Honestly doesn’t know how to react.
He’s nervous about being a father.
He has literally no idea how to take care of a baby.
So he buys a ton of child care books. And I mean a ton.
Once he stops freaking out, he feels excitement overwhelm him.
He literally watches you like a hawk and refuses to let you do any kind of work.
He’s so scared that someone will come after you that he insists on hiding in the bunker for the rest of eternity.
“Cas, I am not staying in the bunker for the rest of my life.”
“It’s just a thought.”
He, strangely enough, wants to go clothes shopping for the baby. He sees all the tiny baby clothes and gets really excited.
“It’s so small.” He smiles.
He ends up being an amazing father.
100% thinks you’re lying.
“You’re not pregnant, there’s no way.”
“Well, you see, when an Archangel and a human love each other very much-”
He doesn’t know how to react when he truly finds out you’re pregnant.
He starts to freak out.
"Everyone knows what happens to humans that carry Nephlim babies!"
"Does everyone know that?"
Gabriel will stop at nothing to make sure that you're not harmed when you deliver the baby.
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Rate your friends
oh this anon finally decided to come around [insert tracy happy here]
uhhh it'll be underneath the cut because it's gonna be. long as hell BWAHAHA apologizing ahead of time if I get sappy 😶🌫️
sap
sap
sapppp
Rina [ My first real internet friend 🫡]
RINAAA I see you. I see your art. I perceive you.
And, even if we don't talk as much as we used to in the past, you'll always be the first of many great people I've met. And, I really love and appreciate your presence in my life. Dare I say it was life-altering!!
Ocean, Shamia, Arella, and all your other ocs, I'm cradling them in the palms on my hands so so lovingly. I have so many things I need to tell you to be honest !! But goddamnit I have work every night so I'm always busy doing something wahhhh
Anyways.
New Shamia reference when? I need to draw her and her blonde bitchass dog [ jack ] again they're so funny and I miss them 😭
Blue [ My lifelong irl to internet friend ]
From an IRL friend to now an online friend, we just can't get rid of each other. You're so cool...
You don't use tumblr so, I won't talk much further... but I do appreciate you. And all your silly Itto shrine moments.
Tae [ My Beloved Wife 🫶🏼]
She's the Cro to my Lee.
The Shuichi to my Kaede.
The President Barbie to my Stereotypical Barbie.
The Kafka to my Bladie [ unfortunately /lh ]
Theeeee Raiden Ei to my Yae Mikooooo.
My wife is many things to me!! I really really love your art and your writing, and you're always so kind and funny and I just wanna grrrrr I just want to hold all your ocs and all your muses so close I love them all 😭😭😭
although
YOU.
YOU
FUCKING
ASSHOLE /lh
THAT ORPHY EDIT. THOSE KAFKA BLADIE EDITS. THAT PEACE AND FRIENDSHIP TRIO EDIT. TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME INTO THINKING EVERYONE ELSE ISNT REAL. THE MURDER. THE KIDNAPPING. THE DART. THE FUCKING DART. OUGHHHHHHHHH
I HOPE YOU FALL THROUGH THE SKY, JOHN. KER-FUCKING-SPLAT, BITCH. I think you've driven me insane. A little bit.
But.
We're so good we are so good. Don't even WORRY about it.
Sam [ My Infamous Brother-in-Tumblr Law ]
Sam you're so. /pos
I think the Immortalpheus AU has permanently altered my perception on life.
Your writing is. well. it's painful /pos
You're so cryptic and really funny yet you and your sister make me say some weird shit during work. Like the uno cards and the Dazai shenanigans and Immortalpheus moments and whenever you drop some life shattering fics and shit you drop on others.
Crazy.
You're a very nice and fun person, all jokes aside!! You're very cool and very amazing and a delight to game with and just fun to be around??? your AU lore and your bots and everything is just so.
mwah
good friend good friend!!
french /j
Piano Immortalpheus forever immortalized isn’t that funny
Navi [ My detective in arms ]
NAVI.
OUGH.
THOSE VERITY JOURNAL ENTIRIES.
IM SO.
OUGHHHHHHH
Your art and your way of expressing your characters and your son in your writing are just soooo good I rotate them in my head so often.
Whenever I see you posting about your crimes to Tumblr, I simply giggle. Get em, Navi!!
We don't talk very often but like. I'd love to talk more. plot. commit shenanigans. heart hands.
Fifi [ fucking fifi /lh ]
I want to clasp my hands around your neck and rattle you violently /lh /pos
How are we friends /lh
We've been friends so long, it's kind of insane??? I remember first talking to you during Amy's opening event and everything just sort of spiraled from there... and every day with you is. an experience!! /pos
Still waiting for the Tower Bifty interaction fr fr [ they try to murder each other within the first five replies /j ]
Carrie [ my favorite mike enjoyer ]
CARRRIEEEEE
Number One Mike enthusiast the real Mike enjoyer.
Im always so giddy whenever you occasionally message me, even if it's just to check on me or show me how you torment Sam /lh and your writing and way of interpreting differing IDV characters and skins is so good??? I love reading them they make me so giggly.
Overall 10/10 friend would ramble to given the chance
Pins [ my boss /ih ]
MAFIA FISHHHHHHHHHH
stunning
beautiful
talented
pink enthusiast
My actual best friend, dare i say the bestest friend in the world???? every moment I spend with you is a blissful and amazing moment, and you've been through so much with me and the fact you stayed throughout it all????
I'm just... really glad you chose to stick with me this long. I can be a very abrasive and impulsive person, and yet you care for me, even with all my flaws and I think that just... says a lot about you.
You're the Jade to my Chiaki.
The Rook to my Epel.
The Deuce to my Ace!
Also your art just solos everything I glow whenever I see it
Skye [ my twst buddy !! ]
Grabs you
Holds you
Rattles you
Is friend.
Is friend shaped.
Approved /lh
Four [ floyd kinnie moment ]
Stop tormenting me with the take a break floyds you SCARE me
Never will be over the fucking
Ghostbusters Floyd edit
I flex my Beans Floyd in memory of you
You’re not dead I think you’re just somewhere in the distance squeezing someone like your life depends on it
10/10 friend when we ignore the four imposed breaks /j
Beth [ my favorite aesop and naib enjoyer ]
You.
Holds you gently.
The Aesop player
The Panda Naib haver.
The beloved
The silly.
✨ Beth ✨
Your art? Immaculate. I such a adoration for your art, and whenever I’m able to catch your drawing streams??? I’m just in awe!! Your colors and outfit inspirations are just so cute so nice so well done???
You’re so. You’re so cool uwahhh
MarioGuy [ where do you keep coming from I know damn well it isn't the door /lh ]
I feel like you kind of just break into my house sometimes and make yourself known before randomly disappearing through a non existent back door /pos
You’re a delight to be around!! Every match with you is a bit. It’s uhm. Something!! /lh
Please stop breaking into my home
Rice [ i occasionally remember that Mi Bianca thing and cry a little ]
Every time I see you pop up in my notifications I just smile and giggle.
We don’t talk often but you’re just so cool and awesome and your muses are so funky fresh and your art is so good and ????
Yeah.
Klai [ you. ]
You.
Chaos gremlin.
You never learn.
But you’re funny so I guess it’s okay.
Your art is so. It’s like a shiny gem 💎 and I WANT it. Holding it hostage.
My precious friend’s doodles.
Never trusting you to prime a cipher though. No hard feelings /lh
10/10 friend!! 0/10 decoder though /j
Orange [ ORANGEEEE my favorite chaos gremlin ]
ORANGEEEEE 🍊
So funny
So talented
So cool
So so cool
Your art is so good, you’re so funny and talented and a wonder to talk to. Your ideas are so creative so unique and yet so unequivocally you and I just…
I love it!!
Orange stop being so cool /j
Clown [ the greatest step-parent on the scene!! ]
This is utter insanity Clown you can’t be EVERY MUSE’S step parents there has to be a LIMIT!!!
A LINE in the SAND!!!!
Clown PLEASEEE
But also your art.
I’ve talked so much about everyone’s art
Yours reminds me of the feeling of waking up on a snow day and realizing school is canceled.
It’s always such a delight to see!!
And while every time you open your mouth, I get a little more worried about you, you’re so so cool /lh
Lupi [ you. x2 ]
imagine arson? imagine it no more im approaching your house at rapidly increasing speeds with my hello kitty lighter /j
Sleepy [ 🫡 ]
Sleepy!! 🫂 so cool,,, you’re so cool,,, /pos
Emma [ Sorry. Only one monster lover can exist in this server peacefully. GET EM. - emma ]
The caption says it all.
Also Tatya stop accidentally seducing all the muses or nearly getting stabbed or exploded or hypnotized you are worrying the GIRLIES! /lh
Al [ you have the vibes of the drunk wine family member in a /pos way ]
I don’t talk to you often but whenever you come around, it makes me so giggly. You’re very funny and your art slaps!!
Joe [ joe the silliest ]
JOE
Joe
Joe!
Your art? Funky fresh.
The lore? So interesting I love the little snippets I see floating around.
You’re so creative
Your Embrace is so funny they scream sacrificial lamb uncle who’s kind of fun at parties /lh
They’ve also got a really nice and warm personality, chaotic yet chill and relatable.
Kind of reminds me of Sam but without the entities 🫶🏼
Nakki [ you. x3 ]
Grabs you like a squeaky toy
That’s it that’s everything tbh
Kory, Boris, Brian [ and the rest of the McMun's Hut /lh ]
And this goes out to all my friends and acquaintances in the McMun’s hut! What is wrong with all of you /pos/lh (except you Boris, you’re an Angel)
Everyone there is super chill and super nice, and they’re a lot of fun to be around. So many differing personalities yet it’s always a vibe somehow.
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Do you have any favorite chemistry read stories. I might have sent this before my apologies if I did
Jenna and John, The Office
“And they brought in Jenna and said ‘we just wanted you to read with this girl’ and the moment we sat down I was like, ‘oh this girl is going to get it’ and so we were walking out and I was like, ‘you’re going to get this part, I know it’ and she was like, ‘that’s so weird I think you’re going to get this part’ blahblahblah and it just felt that weird metaphysical thing where you’re just like, ‘this is really cool’ and the first question I asked when I got the part was, ‘did Jenna get the part?’ and she said ‘that’s the first thing I asked’ so it was like this weird thing going on already, this chemistry that already started which was pretty, pretty awesome and really really cool.”
— John Krasinski
Paul and Nina, The Vampire Diaries
Well when you read what [Nina] says, she talks about her inexperience and her confusing offscreen chemistry with onscreen chemistry.
DOBREV: I read with a lot of guys and I had different experiences — good, bad, indifferent. It’s not that one person was perfect for it; everyone was just so different. But I remember that Paul was the only one who didn’t speak to me unless we were speaking on camera. Everyone else was trying to schmooze with me and flirt with me because it’s a chemistry read, and that was my first-ever chemistry read so I thought that’s what it was supposed to be as well. I was trying to get a vibe: who did I have the most sexual tension with? And because Paul didn’t speak to me, we had the least sexual tension.
Paul knew the difference, which is why he said that he wanted the first time he and Nina “met” to be onscreen where the magic is supposed to happen:
WESLEY: I didn’t even look at her. I saw her looking at me trying to say hello and I refused to even make eye contact with her. And it sounds a little pretentious and actor-y but the scene we were doing for the chemistry read was the first time we ever met, it was our first conversation, and I wanted her to meet me for the first time in the room during the audition so that it was real.
DOBREV: Then Paul got cast and we ultimately had the best chemistry. It’s the kind of thing where you can see it on screen and you get an energy from the room that I maybe didn’t have a barometer on, but he was absolutely the right choice and the best person for the role.
WILLIAMSON: I love the moment where Stefan and Elena first meet and he picks the leaf out of her hair. I think they have beautiful chemistry when she says, “We have history together.” I saw it in the monitor and I went, “If this show works it’s going to be because they have chemistry.”
Sam and Caitriona, Outlander
youtube
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no but really azazel possessing john was just a convenient little metaphor, just another way for dean to reconcile with the conflicting image of his father-god who can do no wrong and the cruel man who has hurt dean, used dean, mocks him for his devotion and loyalty to his family, for his role as caretaker, despite benefiting from dean’s labor. anyways. looking at the scene and imagining there is no azazel....imagining the demon as metaphor is just. oh my god. like so heartbreaking and so compelling. the demon is alcohol, the demon is grief. john lashes out at dean, pins him to the wall, hurts him in his haze. and dean’s crying, begging him, not to let the demon inside him get the upper hand, fight this dad! please please don’t kill me. and then sam gets free, and he gets the gun. and he has a chance to end it. he has a chance to kill the monster that’s been haunting them for 22 years. but dean. dean still loves his dad. despite everything. he doesn’t know how not to love him. so he begs again, please please don’t kill him. and he thinks things might be different now. he always thinks things will be different after one of these fights. but dad doesn’t apologize for hurting dean. he sobers up, the metaphoric demon gone dormant for now, but everything is the same. they get in the car and drive and john is pissed and he tells them nothing matters but the job. dean bleeds out in the backseat of the only real home he’s even known and he hears his dad say “this demon comes before everything.” hears him say, this demon comes before YOU, dean. their lives are still ruled by the demon. the demon has always been there, will always be there. his dad is beyond saving but dean can’t kill him.
#like actually. the metaphoric demon as the manifestation of john's grief and increased substance abuse and the angry man he becomes#is sooo compelling to me#and the demon as a figurative persona that dean places on his dad to distance him when he's like this from the good dad in his mind#makes me insaaane like super unwell emotions#re-imagining the first few seasons as there not actually being a yellow eyed demon it was just john the whole time is. i want to eat that#want to gobble that up#like there's still other demons and the supernatural and everything but JOHN. john is the one who broke his family#john is the one who killed them#i think again framing it as a consequence of his drinking..of that internal demon is wow so good#like imagine he got drunk the night of the fire and maybe idk left a cig lit when he passed out downstairs or something#and his carelessness his altered state led to mary's death#and the whole blood thing with sam...metaphor for addiction being passed down#sam IS an addict the whole blood storyline was framed as an addiction so it makes sense#azazel corrupting sam with his blood is litcherally just. john passing down his demons to his son#(yes i know dean is also an addict. literally an alcoholic but it's 8 AM i'm not thinking thru every detail of the metaphor rn)#dean's always been mary's mirror anyway and sam is johns so for now i'm satisfied w the metaphor#i'll think more abt how dean fits in later#maybe it's like. yeah he has that part in him too but it's never been allowed to take over and consume him really#not the way sam lets his addiction take over#bc dean's always always had to put everything before himself always had to carry the family be the caretaker AND the soldier#so when the hell does he have time to go full addict and let it run his life like john and sam do? he doesn't.#yes it's there and it's a bad coping mechanism and a crutch but he rarely rarely lets it consume him#except for when. when cas dies. but y'know. that's a whole other thing i could write abt forever#dean studies#vic.txt#WAIT WAIT#JOHN MAKING THE DEAL W AZAZEL BASICALLY LETTING THE DEMON 'WIN' BASICALLY KILLING HIMSELF BC HE THINKS IT WILL PROTECT HIS SONS#thinks they will be better off without the alcoholic angry man but he doesn't think abt how his death will really affect them#and he still tells dean. hey. if sam's addiction takes over if that demon inside him like the one in me wins....you wont be able to save him#you'll have to kill him
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Angels & Demons, Chapter 9
Word Count: 1.9k
Warnings: mentions of torture, angst, mentions of death.
“What the hell is this?”
The brothers frowned as they looked at Bobby, “she-she’s our sister.”
“What?” Bobby growled.
“Turns out John didn’t feel the need to tell us about his little side family in the 90s,” Dean frowned, “had a son and daughter. My guess is that we panned out well enough that he didn’t feel the need to pull in the b-team.”
“Hey!”
“Sorry!” Dean apologized.
“Well, where’s the boy?”
“Ghouls...a case dad was working on blew up on his second family,” Dean groaned, “thing is, it’s a long story and we need to stash baby sis here until we can figure out what’s going on and stop the apocalypse.”
“I want to help!” Caitlyn begged, looking between the three men, “I-I don’t want to be left on someone’s doorstep while you guys go running off to god knows where. I can help you guys. I-”
“If you want to help, you need to train! You need to learn about the things we have to fight. And Bobby here is the best at knowing that kind of stuff,” Sam said simply, “Bobby, look. We wouldn’t ask this if we didn’t have any other options...Jo and Ellen are off working cases too. You’re the only person we can think of.”
Bobby looked at the young woman and frowned a little bit more. Thoughts of his own daughter came back to his mind as he looked at how fearless she seemed to be and how eager she was to help. But he nodded and ushered the boys in, “she can stay in Hannah’s room...think I got some clothes of hers from when she was her age. I’ll throw dinner on for you kids too.”
“Thanks Bobby...”
“What the hell did those damn idjits do?” Bobby growled as he shook his head at the trio.
“Are you sure this is the right place?”
Bobby nodded at Caitlyn, “course I do, kiddo. It’s quiet. Inconspicuous. No one would look at it twice. And that’s the type of place hunters choose. Remember that if you ever get separated from me or your brothers. Find a place like this. We’ll always be able to find ya then.”
She nodded, following the older man up the stairs and to the correct floor.
“Have you ever-did you, I mean…did you ever take Hannah on these kinds of trips?”
Bobby frowned, “Yeah…she-she was a lot like you. Always wanted to help out. Go on the hunt…she disappeared when she was eighteen though…haven’t seen her since.”
“Do you think-“
“I don’t want to think about what I probably already know,” he muttered softly, “hunters ain’t known for living long lives, kid…”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be…it’s the job.” The two of them walked down the hall in silence, until they reached a door where the exit was easy to get to in case the situation turned hairy, “this is it.”
“H-how do you know?”
“Like I said, kid…experience!” he admitted. Knocking twice, she was even more surprised to see Dean opening the door.
“Hey Bobby,” he said shortly, pulling him into a hug, “Cait...”
“Good to see you boys all in one piece,” he smiled, moving on to Sam as Dean wrapped his arms around his youngest sibling, “Cait here’s a natural...been taking her training serious. Almost like she’s a Winchester at heart.”
Caitlyn smiled, unable to hold back the laughter from the back of her throat, “Bobby says I’m hardheaded as dad was too…”
Both Sam and Dean frowned at that statement, “that’s not a good thing, kid.”
“It’s a Winchester staple!” Bobby nodded along, “stop giving your little sister a hard time. I’m saying she’s got what it takes, dang it. Thinking she’s ready for the real thing.”
“It’s only been a few weeks, Bobby!” Sam mentioned, “how could she possibly be ready?”
“You guys weren’t followed, were you?” Dean asked as he looked between the two of them.
“You mean by angels, demons, or Sam’s new superfan?” Bobby teased.
Sam scoffed, “So you heard.”
“Oh, I heard,” Bobby sighed, “I heard, Romeo.”
“So...sword of Michael?” she asked, cutting in on the awkward silence that was starting to build in the room the longer Bobby looked at Sam.
“You guys think we’re talking about the actual sword from the actual archangel?” Dean asked.
“You better friggin’ hope so,” Bobby muttered, “Cait, you got the book, right?”
“Yeah!” she confirmed, reaching out to pull the book out of her bag. She set it on the table around the men, opening it to the page where there was a picture of Michael, “That’s Michael.”
“Toughest sumbitch they got!” Bobby confirmed.
Sam started turning the pages to read more into Michael and Dean looped around behind them, “you kidding me? Tough? That guy looks like Cate Blanchet!”
“Say what you will, but I wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley believe me!” Bobby disagreed, “he commands the heavenly host. During the last big dust-up upstairs, he’s the one who booted Lucifer’s ass to the basement. And he did it with that sword! So, if we can find it...”
“WE can kick the devil’s ass all over again!” Sam agreed, “alright, so where do we start?”
“Divvy up the rest of the books and start reading,” Bobby shrugged, “Caitlyn got a good head start on it on the way here, but she hasn’t come across much that can help...doubt that anything’s where it was even a century ago. But we can read and see if we can try and make sense of Chuck’s nonsense.”
Sam got up and started towards where the other books had been laid out.
“Kid...you alright?”
“No...actually,” Sam admitted, “Bobby this is all my fault. I’m sorry.”
“Sam...”
“Lilith didn’t break the final seal,” Sam admitted, “Lilith was the final seal!”
“Sam...stop it!” Dean warned.
Bobby looked over to Dean, eyes wide, “are you serious?”
“I killed her, and I set Lucifer free!” Sam admitted, “it’s all my fault, Bobby!”
“You what?”
“You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn’t listen. I brought this on.”
Bobby stood up and made his way over to Sam, “you’re damn right you didn’t listen. You were reckless, and selfish and arrogant.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry you started Armageddon?” Bobby scoffed as he made his way down the two steps towards Sam, “those kinds of things don’t get forgiven, boy! If by some miracle, we pull this off...I want you to lose my number. I’ll make sure Caitlyn’s got a good head on her shoulders and take care of her until she’s fully ready, but I’m done with you. Do you understand me?”
Sam’s jaw clenched, but he nodded, “th-there’s an old church nearby. Maybe I’ll go read some of the lore books there.”
“Yeah...you do that!” Bobby growled. Sam turned and went to leave, and Caitlyn watched as her oldest brother and the man that had been taking care of her just let him leave.
“Are you serious?” Caitlyn yelled at the two men, “you-you’re just going to let him leave?”
“Caitlyn, you don’t understand...”
“Dean...y-you’re on Bobby’s side?”
“There ain’t no sides, kid. Sam started Armageddon!” Bobby said simply, “he killed Lilith. Drank that demon’s blood. I remember how scared you were when you saw him flinging along the walls. He knew what he was doing, Caitlyn.”
“He’s still my brother!” she said in his defense, “he-he just thought what he was doing was right. Haven’t either of you ever made a mistake?”
“Now listen, Cait-”
“No...you listen,” she said, shaking her head at the two men, “I know I haven’t had the same relationship with you guys as you’ve had with each other, but he’s family. An-And you don’t just give up on family like that. Dean...I remember how you told me about you being in hell. You-you tortured people because you needed to find a way to be okay...an-and Bobby...you’ve told me about Hannah...and how you haven’t seen her since she left last year...you can’t keep chasing away the people that mean something to you.”
“Now listen here, girl-”
“No...I don’t want to listen...I’m going to go find Sam...because no one deserves the kind of treatment that you’re giving him, Armageddon or not,” she hissed, “when I come back, with Sam...you two better have thought long and hard about what you said...because if you lose him...I’m going too!”
The two men watched in silence as she stormed out of the room, the door slamming behind her as she undoubtedly ran after Sam.
“Well...I’ll give the girl this,” Bobby sighed as he made his way back to the table after grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the counter, “she’s definitely John WInchester’s kid...stubborn idjits. The lot of you.”
“I’ll say!” Dean agreed.
“Balls,” Bobby grunted as he looked at the eldest Winchester, “…she’s right.”
“Alright, how about this. Let’s get really creative and see how your little sister does without her lungs!” Zachariah smirked.
Dean’s eyes widened and he looked to his left, where his little sister had appeared. Caitlyn had fallen to her knees and was clawing at her throat.
“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Sam screamed.
“Oh, two for the price of one, good idea!” he grinned, “thanks for the volunteering, Sam.”
Sam joined his sister and started gasping, trying to collect air, but failing miserably.
“Kill me!”
“Kill you?” Zachariah asked as he leaned down and caught Dean’s face between his fingers, “oh no. I’m just getting started.”
A powerful burst of air, and a brilliant white light tore Zachariah from his torment. Castiel had used an angel blade on one of Zachariah’s angels, the tip of which pierced him through the throat; killing him instantly.
Immediately the other charged him, and the two exchanged blows until Castiel finally caught the upper hand and stabbed the other angel as well.
“How are you...”
“Alive?” Castiel asked, “That’s a good question. How did those two end up on that airplane? Another good question. Because the angels didn’t do it. I think we both know the answer, don’t we?”
“No!” Zachariah gasped in disbelief, “it’s not possible.”
“It scares you!” Castiel agreed, “yeah, well it should. Now put them all back together and go. I won’t ask twice.”
There was a pregnant pause before Zachariah disappeared and Dean, Sam, and Caitlyn looked at each other before getting up.
“Who is she?”
“Our sister,” Sam said simply, “Caitlyn...she-”
“You three need to be more careful!”
“Yeah...your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought!”
“I don’t mean the angels,” Castiel disagreed, “Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it those hex bags won’t be enough to protect you!”
He pressed his hands to Sam and Dean’s chests and the two of them grunted in pain, flinching away from his touch.
Caitlyn looked at her brothers, and Castiel turned, and did the same to her.
“What the hell is that?”
“An Enochian sigil!” Castiel admitted, “it will hide you from every angel in creation. Including Lucifer.”
“Did you just brand us with it?” Dean asked.
“No...I carved it into your ribs.”
“Hey Cas, were you really dead?”
“Yes...”
“Then how are you back?”
There was a wooshing noise, before Castiel disappeared, leaving the three of them on their own once more.
“Who was that?” Caitlyn asked.
“One of the angels that wasn’t a dick!” Dean told her, “that was Castiel...he-he was dead.”
“Then how was he-”
“We don’t know!” Sam shrugged.
Chapter 10
#angels & demons#angels and demons#angels#demons#castiel#zachariah#bobby singer#sam winchester#dean winchester
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Supernatural imagine the reader is Dean and Sam's half sister and has a sketch book of the whole Winchester family and the reader states that she isn't a real Winchester.
Sam and Dean x Half-Sister Reader
A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for the request! I hope I did alright. It's curently 10:30 pm and I'm extremely tired, and I wasn't wearing my glasses while writing most of this so I apologize for any spelling errors!
Sam and Dean weren’t really shocked when they found out they had a half-sister. They knew their dad had slept around a few times, especially after he hid Adam from them until the boy himself found his older brothers. The Winchester brothers loved you nonetheless. They treated you like family, taking you in when they met you on a hunt in Kentucky.
You had been living with the boys for a little over a year now, and you couldn’t ask for a better family. You couldn’t help but feel like you were intruding, though. Sam and Dean loved you and treated you well, not getting angry when the secret was revealed that you were their half-sister. Once you had moved in with them and saw the very few family photos they had, you couldn’t help but tear up. You didn’t have a very good home life growing up. Your mother left you when you were 4 because she couldn’t take raising you on her own. John came around every once in a while, but he mainly left you drifting between hunters.
You’d always had a love for the fine arts, drawing especially. Sam and Dean were amazed when they caught a glimpse of one of your drawings over your shoulder one day while doing research. You had gotten board, deciding to do a few rough sketches of your oldest brother, who was sitting across from you, a book in one hand and a beer in the other.
“Wow, sis, I never knew you could draw,” Dean commented, taking your sketchbook into his own hands. “This is awesome! I mean, you could make my jawline a bit sharper…” This caused you and Sam to laugh.
“Don’t think too much about it. I don’t really like showing other people my drawings. They can get a bit personal.” You took the sketchbook back. “You know how my life was growing up. The only thing that I ever had that never left was the ability to draw. It was my way of coping growing up.” You set your sketchbook back down on the table, sliding your chair back and standing up. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”
Sam and Dean went back to doing their research on a potential case when they heard the slight movement of paper. The two boys looked to see that the wind from their ceiling fan was blowing the pages in your sketchbook around. The page flipped to show a drawing of Sam, Dean, John, and Mary. You had drawn the picture so that Sam and Dean were older, the way they looked now. At the top of the page you wrote ‘Winchester Family’. Dean reached for the sketchbook again.
“Dean, you hear (y/n/n),” Sam warned. “She said she doesn’t like people seeing her drawings. Put it back.”
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Dean said as he flipped back a page. The next page was of Sam and Dean, leaning against the hood of the impala. There was a small note on the page next to it. ‘They’re so happy’ it read. ‘I wish I could have been a part of that relationship.’ Dean flipped back another page, and then another until he got to the first page of the sketchbook. His brows furrowed slightly.
“What?” Sam asked, craning his neck to see what his brother was looking at.
“The title of her sketchbook is ‘The Winchester Family’,” Dean answered.
“Ok, and?” Sam commented. “What’s wrong with that?”
“You didn’t let me finish,” replied Dean. “Under it she wrote ‘the family I’ll never be a part of’.” He did a quick fan through all of the pages. They were filled with sketches of him, Sam, and his parents. There were several of all of them together. One image he found was a sketch of the whole family, and then you drawn off to the side. You were drawn to look at how happy the family looked. Dean had Sam in a headlock, and both of them dawned huge smiles. John and Mary were drawn holding each other, admiring their sons.
“Dean?” a soft voice came from behind him. “What are you doing with that?” He turned around to see you standing behind him, looking at him wearily. “I told you not to look through that.”
“What do you mean, ‘a family I’ll never be a part of?’” Dean asked. “You’re just as part of this twisted family as we are.”
“Give that back,” you said quietly, tears brimming in your eyes. “Please, give it back.”
“Y/N, come here,” Sam said softly. “How come you never told us this?”
“Why do you think?” she said quickly, fully crying now. “You guys have had each other since you were born, pretty much. You may have lost your mom at a young age but at least you had John. Sure, he wasn’t around much but he was around more you guys than he was me. Look at the two of you. You’re pretty much inseparable. I’m just a tag along. The one-night-stand kid. As much as I’ve tried, I’ll never be a part of the Winchester family.”
“Family doesn’t end in blood, Y/N,” Dean said. “Even if it did, we share at least half our DNA together, and that makes you family. Sam and I love you kiddo. You’re our sister, and nothing can change that.” He stood and pulled you into a tight hug, watching as Sam stood and joined the two of you. When he pulled away, he wiped away your tears as you sniffed.
“You really mean it?” you asked.
“Of course we do,” Sam answered. “You’re a Winchester whether you like it or not.”
#sam winchester x reader#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester#dean winchester#supernatural comfort#supernatural x reader#supernatural#spn#winchester sister imagine#winchester boys#winchester reader#request
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hi there! what piece of later-seasons characterization of daddy winchester irks you the most? (i mean a scene, or some new information that you think is the worst addition/rewriting of the character)
Hello! You know, there's a number of incidents people talk about when it comes to inconsistent later-season John writing. Like, the boys camp story, or the "Dad used to send me away when I pissed him off" story. But I don't know, I think inconsistency and contradiction have been the hallmark of John Winchester characterization since the very beginning and to frame it as mainly a late-season issue is a little unfair. (See, "Dad never hit us" and then the revelation that he did hit Dean when Sam ran away. Or his hyper-protectiveness over Sam somehow leading to cutting him off(!) when he went to college. Or, consider all we hear about his tyranny as a parent before we actually spend some time with him--- he's just a lanky emo dude, and he's really emotionally vulnerable with his kids (or at least with Dean) and sure he's giving orders and arguing with Sam but when Dean pushes back, he just folds, or apologizes, or agrees --- there is never a threat of physical coercion when it comes to Dean, at least that we see) --- and all of that is within Kripke-era SPN, if not entirely during the first season. And I think we can sit around and wank about poor inconsistent writing all we want (and we should!)--- but it's also fun and interesting to think about all the ways real and fictional people can just be terribly wrong in their understanding of their own selves and their true motivations and the foreseeability of the outcomes of their actions, etc. This is to say, let John Winchester be fucked-up and inconsistent! And beyond that, the fact of the continuing (seemingly contradictory) revelations about John actually reveals so much about Sam and Dean's relationship. Dean only tells Sam about the boys camp incident some twenty-years later! He tells Sam about being sent away in his forties! Sam! The person closest to him in the whole world! I find that significant and worth thinking about, regardless of how that ultimately influences your understanding of their relationship (or their relationship to John).
All that aside, there is a moment in S15 (ep. 17, I think) where Sam is talking Dean out of making Jack suicide-bomb God and he says something like, "All my life you've protected me. From Dad, from Lucifer" --- and that was just so fucking insane to me that I simply do not know how to interpret it. For Sam to suggest that John caused him harm greater or even equal to Lucifer (or even posed an equal but unrealized threat) is absolutely bananas to me, as is the idea that Dean successfully prevented such harm --- I thought that was the whole drama of their childhood, that Dean could not, for various complicated reasons, advocate for Sam to the degree that he should have. The most generous, good-faith explanation of that comment is that Sam is speaking about the S2 command to kill him if all else fails, but of course even as they were living through it Sam had fully bought into the John Winchester contingency plan and was on board. So, I don't know, maybe I'm missing something vital to interpreting that line (and you know, people say weird shit in moments of great urgency or distress, so whatever).
Another thing is: the boys camp story does really throw me for a loop. Sending Dean away as punishment à la S14 reveal makes more sense to me because, I don't know --- John is presumably sending him to work cases somewhere or help this or that hunter, so there's an adult around who knows what's what, he's still training for the fight and doing his job and John knows where to check on him, etc. and I don't think John is the kind of person to outsource his parenting to the state (sending him to Bobby's is substantially different than leaving him with a bunch of randos). And don't get me wrong, the "you fucked up so bad that I don't even want to see you or be around you, you need to get the fuck out of here even as you're my co-parent and closest friend and partner and care-taker--- your failure in this moment has outweighed your utility to me" is awfully, terribly cruel, but it feels less like an afterthought than just leaving him behind somewhere does, and maybe less cruel for that reason. I don't think John Winchester's cruelty is ever intended for its own sake. Or rather, his cruelty is always tempered by his affection. Also just on a strategic level, leaving Dean in a state-run juvenile camp puts them on the government's radar to a degree that I think would be extremely undesirable if you're regularly committing felonies with help from your minor children.
(Of course if you're daddycestuously-inclined, as I am (in the this tickles my pickle sense or the holy shit all evidence leads me to believe this more-likely-than-not happened sense) --- there are all these interesting ways to harmonize these inconsistencies. Of course John would send his sixteen year old who may or may not be in love with him far away -- to set Dean straight, or so he wouldn't have to deal with the shame of having taken from Dean what he wanted, or to protect Dean from whatever the fuck that shit was, etc. So many possibilities!)
#preseries S/D is almost impossible for me to seriously consider but I'm sure someone has also done the 'John tries to keep them apart#bc he suspects something' or whatever#but anyway#that was too fucking long and not particularly revolutionary in John Winchester studies#sorry anon#re:#John Winchester#and#john/dean#if only briefly#asks
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moni how are you feeling about 1989 tv?! bucky would love clean 🥺💙 im so soft at the idea of sharing taylor’s music with my favourite characters... they’re real TO ME!!!
now listen... Clean yes.
But "say don't go" fucking got me
i always imagine Bucky caving and buying some headphones, where he would strictly listen to podcasts about the most random things. You know, because the randomness of it all, just a couple girls and guys talking about weird fetishes or the nice things they'd do during Christmas. But sometimes he'll decide to cook and plug in some Taylor Swift, because Sam definitely told him about her because Sam enjoys all genres of music.
But Bucky listens in order. He'll listen to Peter and refuse Debut and Reputation because they're not re-recorded yet, and start with Fearless (TV). Not his cup of tea, but he doesn't give up yet. He'll give Taylor another shot.
Speak Now (TV). "Dear John", "Back to December", "Innocent", and "Timeless" are the ones that got him. He's obsessed now. He listens to Back to December in the damn shower and bursts his throat when singing "I MISS YOUR TAN SKIN, YOUR SWEET SMILE---"
Red (TV). Bucky lays on the floor listening to that rollercoaster. "Begin Again", "Come Back, Be Here", and "All Too Well-10 minute version". He breaks his own heart. He stays inside for a week after that, just him and Alpine. Sam knocks from the outside of his bedroom window, laughing when Bucky throws his lamp and shatters it.
1989 (TV). His guilty pleasure is Style. It's everyone's guilty pleasure. Out of the Woods is on repeat as he runs on the treadmill. Bad Blood ft. Kendrick Lamar plays when he boxes. "This Love", though... Fuck, he's back in depressive mode. He gets to "Clean"... just like "All Too Well", it reminds him of Steve. And Hydra. He shoves his phone in his jacket, covers his airbuds with a beanie, and listens to it on repeat in the pouring rain. When it's done, he's smiling. He goes home and... shoves all the whiskey into a box and throws it all away. Then "Say Don't Go" comes on and he... still smiles. It hits him in the gut, but it made him oddly nostalgic.
He skips Reputation like Peter told him to... Lies. He listened to the full version of "Don't Blame Me" because it's all over TikTok and no one could stop him. He apologizes to Taylor as he hits replay for the 67th time.
"Lover" has him calling Sarah and bullying her for that being her favorite album. He won't admit "The Archer" made him yell "FUCK!" with a knife in his hand (he was cutting some carrots) and accidentally swipe his own finger in the process. or that "Lover" is yet another guilty pleasure.
He made the grandest mistake of listening to Folklore during the Christmas season. All that progress he made in accepting himself and Steve's loss, comes flooding back and Sam has to stay the week with him. Apologizing profusely, "Dude, you should have told me you were on that shit. I was planning on bringing some ice cream, a gun, and a target sheet for that bitchass album." When that episode eases, "mad woman", "hoax", "exile", and "cardigan" are his favorites. "This Is Me Trying" was a one-time listen and he will revisit it once he's truly healed.
Evermore sealed those wounds, "Coney Island" opened one stitch. Champagne Problems is his next shower song, if you can believe that. He's yelling it. In his car, too.
Midnights pulls him back in. "Bejeweled", "Midnight Rain", "Dear Reader", and "High Infidelity" are his faves. Clint squints his eyes super fucking hard at Bucky whenever he hears the small yell of "NICE!" in Bucky's headphones at the compound gym. He knows better than to question the past assassin, though. Clint's got "Karma" on his gym playlist, soooooo... Kate wrapped him up in Taylor Swift magic as well.
All in all, Bucky's a massive Taylor Swift and will defend her against the outlandish slander that seems to drip into conversations at bars, game nights, and online. Bucky's been visited by agents once or twice because of his comments made to haters online. He just smiles and tells them his head is in the right place. For now.
He can't wait for Reputation to drop. He knows he's going to love it, that there is such a thing for the Winter Soldier to be in his "Reputation Era" again, even if the 1900s was basically that for him. But he has control over it. When he plunges a knife in someone's neck modern-day, he wouldn't mind the bass of Taylor Swift's most transformative and astounding album to play in the background.
....
I went deep into this. MCU Bucky needs a fanfic where he dives deep into these songs and each of his favorite songs from each album is a different chapter. Just him and his earbuds, and maybe a corny Taylor cameo in the end lmaoooooooo
Did I answer your question??
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15 Questions, 15 Mutuals
Tagged by: @amc-iwtv.
1. Are you named after anyone?
Meera Bai, the Bhakti Poet, Hindu Saint and devotee of Krishna.
2. When was the last time you cried?
I haven’t cried for a geniune in real life reason in... a month. Which is good I think(?)
I did cry over my original character Audrey and her taste in lying blondes who lie (affectionate).
If you know, you know.
Also, when Sarah Livingston got brutalized and died in TURN: Washington’s spies. She’s the one (1) Tory I’ll apologize for and it’s cause she’s not real.
3. Do you have kids?
My characters.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Only if my characters do it, in real life, cause autism, I try to not.
5. What sports do you play/have played?
I used to fence and horesback ride, these days: Kathak and live theatre, mostly. Yes both count, they involve dance and more.
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Eyes.
7. What's your eye color?
Dark Brown.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Can’t stand slasher movies, personally.
My best answer to this is: period dramas with vampires/werwolves/etc.
9. Any special talents?
Writing (different kinds), memorizing niche facts when I am hyper fixating, organizing when motivated, empathizing with people, speaking (to the shock of everyone), I don’t know, people think I’d make a good lawyer, or should run for local Canadian government, I don’t see it, but, articulating, I suppose.
10. Where were you born?
Boston, Massachusetts, USA.
So.... New England vampire scare country and a hop skip from the county outside Boston where John Addams was born.
11. What are your hobbies?
So many... writing, reading, cosplay, meta analyzing media, history, I am a book hoarder and I can tell you niche facts about the culper ring (almost) no one cares about.
12. Do you have pets?
A dog, a half beagle.
13. How tall are you?
5′2″ my attitude is 6.”
14. Favorite subject in school?
Going into college so this doesn’t apply the same way, but, history, when I was in school.
15. Dream job?
Author/historian, archivist.
I presently work as an archivist and curator here.
Tagging: @sam-glade, @no-depression-for-vampires, @lesbian-scully, @lestatdelioncoeur, @lauraroleplayss, @mxtallmadge, @rhogeminid, @quinnharperwrites, @megaeralwrites, @parrisblood, @faelanvance, @iamthemaestro, @aristobun, @theballadofmrslovett, @words-after-midnight, & @how-absurd23rd. 💞
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Gender Roles? Sushi Rolls!
Date Night collides with Daddy Issues.
Suptober prompt: Fish
Flufftober prompt: All the Hugs
Fictober prompt: "Is this safe?"
Inktober prompt: Fairy
(Read on AO3)
He can't help it. The words push their way past his lips again. “For real, though. Is this safe? Cas, are you sure this is safe? We're not gonna get brain-eating worms or something from this?” In the seat next to him, Cas only sighs. With a single gust of air he eloquently expresses both infinite patience and bone-deep irritation. Dean raises his hands in apology.
“Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I'll be quiet.” He clamps his mouth shut but his body language still speaks and Cas hears it, as usual. His face falls.
“Dean, do you want to leave? We can leave,” he offers.
Dean shakes his head. “No, Cas, I–” he protests, but his husband cuts him off.
“I'm sorry I suggested this. You said it was my turn to pick, anything I wanted to do, but I see now that I should have picked something else. Let's just go.” He starts to stand. Dean grabs his wrist.
“No, stop. It's fine. Sit down. I'm sorry. We're doing this. You want raw fish for dinner, we're getting raw fish for dinner. It's fine.” Cas settles back into his seat while Dean fiddles with the menu in front of him and tries once again to sort through the unfamiliar choices listed there.
“See anything you want to try?” Cas prompts.
Dean shakes his head. “Dunno what any of it is,” he admits with a grimace.
“May I order for both of us?”
He nods glumly in reply, eyes cast down. Suddenly, absurdly, he realizes he's going to cry. He has no idea why he feels that way, which sucks. But then a moment later he understands exactly where these tears are coming from, which actually sucks even worse. He sniffs.
“Love, what's wrong?” his husband asks, his voice soft.
“S'just... If Dad was here, he'd be so pissed at me.” Another sniff, and the tears are falling now. He swipes at his face with the back of his hand and continues, “Sittin' here in a sushi bar with my husband? He'd call me a fuckin' fairy and drag my ass outta here. Probably beat me black 'n' blue in the parking lot.”
Beside him, Cas growls, and Dean can hear his teeth grinding when he clenches his jaw. “Dean...” he begins. He picks up a pair of chopsticks off the counter and snaps them in half, lengthwise. Then he bundles the halves together and snaps them all neatly in half again. He clenches the pieces in his fists, then releases them and folds his hands together. “Your father was an asshole.” he states primly.
Dean is shocked into laughter. The awful sick pressure that had been building in up in his chest pops like a soap bubble. “Jesus, Cas, tell me what you really think,” he challenges, feeling almost playful in the wake of that tension.
“This is neither the time nor the place for me to give you my full opinion of John Winchester,” Cas assures him. “Suffice it to say, I acknowledge the struggles which shaped him, but I do not absolve him for his choices. He loved you and your brother very much, but the twisted, destructive ways he expressed that love? I cannot forgive him for any of it. You and Sam deserved all the nurturing care, all the hugs and kindness and support, that a parent could give. But your father chose instead to use you both as a dumping ground for his pain and self-loathing. He was an asshole, and he's dead, and you need to stop letting him express his shitty, uninformed, toxic opinions about your lifestyle choices from beyond the grave.”
Cas punctuates the end of this speech with a beckoning gesture to the waiter. They converse in fluid Japanese for a couple of minutes while Dean sits numbly on his stool, mouth agape, just processing.
After the server departs, Cas turns to him with an inquiring look. “Do you disagree?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.
“Not in the slightest,” Dean admits. “I'm evicting John Winchester from my head.” He pantomimes grabbing something at his temple and throwing it to the ground. He has to admit, the action really does leave him feeling lighter.
His husband nods approvingly. “I'm glad to know it's just the two of us on this date for once.” The waiter returns with a squat ceramic bottle and two small cups. Cas pours each about half full, hands one to Dean, and holds the other up. “To us,” he offers.
Dean returns the toast, knocking their cups together gently. “To us.”
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I WAS TAGGED :O BY the wonderful @romirola to assign some songs to some ships! And I'm definitely all for it aksndjdndahAhAhA-
Sam/Darlin':
LITERALLY one of my FAVORITE SONGS EVER
Darlin'/Quinn:
First time I heard I Don't Bleed I was all over puttin' that shit in my 17 hour playlist💅
Elliott/Sunshine:
Honestly, Everything's Magic is on both my Elliott playlist and my D.A.M.N. crew playlist bc it just has that vibe of getting acquainted with the magical world, y'know??
Guy/Honey:
I HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS, OKAY? SUE ME🤚
Asher/Baabe:
Either that or Video Game Lover and I won't apologize.
Lasko/Freelancer:
As soon as I heard it, it went right on the playlist bro it's too real
Gavin/Freelancer:
WORK OF ART🙏
Huxley/Damien:
Or
Ease My Mind is on like,,, four of my Redacted playlists aksndkdb-
Angel/David:
OKAY FINE I'LL DO A SERIOUS ONE IN A PART 2 BECAUSE IVE REACHED THE MAXIMUM TRACK LIMIT💀😭
Actually I'll just give the name bc everyone should know it and if you dont, I suggest you go listen bc it's great- both of them are. I'm doing 2 serious ones for Angel and David: Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Megan Trainor and John Legend, and All Of Me by John Legend.
And also Centerfold by The J Geils Band. And also Exist For Love by AURORA is their first dance song at their wedding I've decided💅
Taggingggg: @sri-rachaa and @morgansplace and @tankwolf and @moonandstarlightsposts if y'all want to, that is^-^ annnnd anyone else who'd like to hop in on this :)
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#these are all bangers imo#obviously-#koobs 17 hour playlist garbage#269 songs on my 17 hour sam and darlin oc playlist💅#nice👌#im not gonna do all the character tags#im too lazy lmfao#Spotify
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S1 Dean Head Canon
My main inspirations for this.
When Dean goes on a bender and loses track of John, he panics and goes to find Sam at college. While Sam agrees to go on one case, the death of his girlfriend hurls him back into the hunting scene. While the brothers hunt Wendigos, and a lake monster, Dean does his best to keep his drinking in check and only indulges heavily during his downtime. Dean’s mental health takes a hit after confiding in a child witness about his past traumas while on a case. CPTSD rears its ugly head sending Dean spiraling into self medication amidst nightmares and anxiety symptoms to the point that even Sam notices.
When the brothers get called about a demon possession case involving airplanes, Sam learns just how terrified his brother is to fly. Afterwards, they realize John has changed his voicemail and is now actively deferring cases to them despite continuing to not check in. When Dean tries to ignore his grief about dad and heads for Atlantic City, hoping to relax, Sam starts a fight and accuses him of being “a useless alcoholic just like dad”. Dean storms out, goes to a bar and gets smashed only to wake up the next morning in bed with a stranger and no memory oh he'd gotten there.
Dean coasts for a while after, still drinking but trying not to go overboard. He hunts with Sam and mostly enjoys it, as much as anyone really can. Priorities shift suddenly after Sam has psychic visions of their childhood home in Kansas. Dean had promised himself never to return after his last trip, when he almost killed himself driving drunk and consequently been charged with a DUI. When ganking the ghosts involves a chance encounter with his mother’s spirit, Dean is left shaken. His nightmares return and intensify, and without realizing completely, he ups his frequency of alcohol consumption to daily as a counterbalance to protecting his mental health.
After investigating a haunted asylum where Sam gets possessed, and says some nasty things before shooting him, Dean starts to doubt his relationship with Sam. When John does eventually reach out it's to tell his sons explicitly to back off and stop looking for him, then order them to pursue a separate case. Sam gets pissed and the brothers argue which ultimately lead to them separating. While Dean doesn't let on how badly he’s hurting, having lost his family again over the span of a day; Sam sees his brother’s subsequent apology for the giant red flag that it is. Tracking his brother down, Sam saves Dean from a pagan deity, they eventually reconcile and continue hunting together.
Having been more than willing to go out in blaze of glory before Sam rescued him, Dean starts drinking on the job and hunting recklessly. When they encounter a Rawhead, Dean’s reactions are slowed, and he inadvertently electrocutes himself, killing the monster. After suffering a heart attack, Dean’s prognosis isn't good, but he’s more than willing to accept death over his brother’s attempts at some kind of magical cure. When Sam randomly finds a faith healer and tricks Dean into tagging along, he’s surprised when Rev. Le Grange actually heals him. When the other shoe drops, however, Dean realizes he’s only been saved at the expense of somebody else. Unable to justify having been saved this way, Dean is additionally burdened by Layla’s impending death once they've shut the faith healer down.
In the aftermath of nearly dying, continued radio silence from dad sends a louder message than if John had bothered to pick up his phone. Dean tries to put himself back together as best he can by getting drunk and celebrating Sam’s 23rd birthday. Later after a tip concerning a possible haunting in PA, Dean’s not entirely sure he’s ready to get back in the saddle again. Though he initially does go along with Sam, all bets are off when he gets an emergency call from his ex-girlfriend Cassie.
Sam psychoanalyzes until his brother starts to squirm, inadvertently giving away details of the only real romantic relationship he’s ever had. Amidst battling a racist ghost truck, Dean tries to gain some closure but only really gets overdue makeup sex instead. After leaving Missouri, Dean struggles between wanting to drink himself into oblivion and wanting Sam to give it a break with the psychoanalysis bullshit already. To save face, Dean starts carrying his flask again, only drinking when he knows Sam can’t see. Mother’s Day weekend becomes an additional trigger, and Dean’s actually kind of surprised just how easily one cheesy af Hallmark greeting card can push him over the edge.
When Sam starts having psychic visions again, Dean’s already been drinking steadily for days, adding to his anxiety about driving anywhere in the middle of the night. When the crime scene turns out to be real, Dean isn't sure how to cope sober and his intoxication contributes to him almost being killed by Max Miller. Though he tries to comfort Sam, Dean is in fact freaking out about pretty much everything. It becomes clear that Sam doesn't remember their childhood like Dean does at all. While that was kind of the whole point, it still hurts remembering all the ways Dean had shielded his little brother from John’s drunken rages.
Dean is overwhelmed and falling back into his more alcoholic tendencies- ignoring John’s rules and carrying a flask everywhere.When the brothers get a motel room, Dean over does it until he fears he may have actually poisoned himself after he starts experiencing loss of appetite because of nausea / vomiting, headache, dizziness & chest palpitations *(i.e. mild alcohol withdrawal symptoms). Hiding his illness from Sam, Dean tries to put himself back together.
When Sam gets kidnapped by humans, Dean freaks out and jeopardizes his own identity while trying to track his brother down. The guilt of almost having gotten Sam killed leads Dean into going cold turkey with varying degrees of success until he ultimately fails the way he does with everything. While Dean does manage to put down the flask, he’s left with constant cravings and no other foreseeable way to numb out his mounting internal pain. Meanwhile, Sam is as oblivious as he is distracted with finding John to support his brother's attempts at sobriety. When Dean falls back on his and John’s rules for drinking, he finds that he’s grown too dependent on alcohol for the rules to be much help. Dean vaguely remembers John having gone through detox several times over the years, although he never really thought about why it was happening until now.
In Chicago the brothers encounter Meg Masters, and without knowing it, accidentally lead John into a trap. When Sam alludes to quitting hunting again, Dean is noticeably crushed, unable to see past his dysfunctional views of family. Later on after telling John to go, Dean tries to find ways to keep Sammy close while engaged in hunting. Continuing his attempts at curbing his drinking, it’s a surprise to Dean when Sam seems to be going in the opposite direction by actively seeking out booze and dive bars. Although Dean hasn't said it out loud yet, he’s starting to accept his inherited alcoholism and worries about Sam meeting the same fate. Inevitably prank wars prove to be a safer form of brotherly bonding than getting wasted.
Dean’s feeling sentimental spending time with Sam and not thinking so much outside of that. Though arson works on taking out the Tulpa in Texas, things easily could have gone differently especially given how the future Ghostfacers were also thrown into the mix. Fearing that Sam’s just going to ditch him again contributes to Dean having intrusive thoughts and increased anxiety. Although he somehow maintains his tough guy facade by suffering through, eventually his attempts prove unsustainable.
When John texts coordinates the brothers revisit an old case, that’s extremely triggering for Dean. While they do manage to save the day, Dean’s forced to remember hard parts of their childhood along with the perceived guilt over knowing the shringa continued killing children for 17 more years because of him. Dean can’t take back his past mistakes and worries about how many kids have had to die at the hands of the Shringa because of him. But robbing Michael of his innocence is the icing on the cake, and soon Dean backslides into alcohol as his primary coping mechanism. Father’s day weekend brings up a bunch of other stuff for Dean, he’s spiraling again and likely couldn't maintain sobriety if his life depended on it.
After encountering a hot girl and a haunted painting in upstate New York, Dean is doing poorly and tries to deflect by pushing Sam toward Sarah Blake. Unbeknownst to Sam, Dean’s cycling through a constant state of intoxication with no idea how much less a desire to stop. Ganking the ghost and saving the day, Dean’s living it up with a beer in his hand and his brother by his side once more. Despite Sam’s ambivalence, Dean convinces him to celebrate the fourth of July. Everything’s great until Dean nearly gets another DUI and Sam has to find a way to save his older brother for a change.
Weeks later when they stumble onto a nest of vampires in Manning, CO and reunite with John. Dean is conflicted when John wants to enter the vampires' nest to steal a gun that can supposedly kill anything. It rapidly becomes clear that dad wants to ditch them again and this time Dean knows it’s because John’s on a suicide mission. Dean recognizes the look in John’s eyes because he’s been there himself enough times but he also knows that losing his dad this way will damage him beyond repair.
When John is captured by Azazel and Meg after she kills several close friends of the Winchesters’. Dean realizes that would give it all up indefinitely just to have his family back together and safe. Reconnecting with Bobby Singer guides the brothers through exercising Meg out of her host's body. But although the boys do find their father Dean is first to see that John’s been possessed by Azazel. After Sam shoots his dad in the leg with the colt, the demon is forced to vacate John's body, and the Winchester’s escape. En route to safety, however, the impala gets struck by a demon possessed truck driver and leaves a badly injured Dean on the verge of death.
#supernatural#season 1#spn headcanon#dean winchester#tw: depression#tw alchoholism#tw sucidal ideation#canonically fits into gaps between first season episodes#potential spoilers#fanfic inspo#ao3 wip
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