#mostly because i think it would be fucking hilarious but i could see there being some planet that just
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[I just thought of something cute but dumb:
Nabs giving Vegeta permission to show up at her house in the middle of the night and crawl into bed with her even before they're together and in the process of just like...establishing comfort and whaynot with each other. Not to cuddle or anything lewd, but just because they would both rather lie awake with someone than by themselves and they could keep each other company. Plus, at that point, it would be an intimate thing they both sort of crave without being uncomfortable.]
#// vegeta ♅#:: nabooru ☀#/ i'll vanquish any foe because you're mine ♅☀ vegbooru#i imagine that on the force they probably had to deal with the one bed in the hotel room trope#and all four of them had to share a single room#mostly because i think it would be fucking hilarious but i could see there being some planet that just#didnt have the accomodations#BUT cute soft intimacy that isnt necessarily romantic
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PostOutbreak!Joel likes reader but he tries to hide it because of the age gap. To try and put us off, he can be a bit standoffish/mean but Ellie can tell it’s a facade and tells him to drop it and the age thing doesn’t matter if you really like each other. Then a fluffy confession omggg
Pairing: PostOutbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: unspecified age gap, joel being a lil insecure and scared, and Ellie being a menace, but its mostly all fluff who am i kidding
a/n: this was the cutest fucking request ever, thank you anon
You know those books or movies where it's painfully clear to everyone but the two main characters that they love each other, and you keep reading or watching thinking "How could anyone not see that he likes her?" as you increasingly get more frustrated and annoyed?
Well, this is a bit like that,
not a bit actually, completely so.
And in this metaphor, you and Joel were the two oblivious main characters, while Ellie, poor Ellie, was the unfortunate witness of your blindness.
It was so incredibly clear to her that she sometimes struggled not to laugh at your interactions.
I mean the first time Joel saw you was the very first time she'd seen him blush and forget how to speak in the span of a second- it was hilarious.
And then when he'd catch him staring at you or pretend not to purposely take the longer route home just to catch a glimpse of you outside the bakery... it was hard to only chuckle underneath her breath, but she managed...
until today
Joel slammed the door as he got it, like really loud, not like his usual slam.
"what's wrong?" Ellie asked, her brows frowning in suspicion as he kicked his boots off his feet before halfheartedly dragging them to the kitchen where she was sitting.
"nothin'" he grumbled,
Now that made Ellie sigh with annoyance,
he was always the one to blab about how she could always confide in him, and if that was the truth, then that meant it went both ways.
"Y'know a grumpy old man once told me that it's good to share how you're feeling" She tilted her head to the side, raising her brow as Joel rolled his eyes, filling a glass with water "Would be real hypocritical of him to not take his own advice..."
Said old man, was now rolling his eyes even harder, drowning the full glass in a second
"'s nothing, don't worry 'bout it"
"Joel" Ellie only glared at him,
and as always when it was her,
he was convinced faster than he liked to admit
He sighed, before speaking "It's stupid" he said
"I don't care" Ellie shrugged, placing her elbows on the kitchen counter where she sat and using her hands to support her head, her whole focus on Joel,
who sighed, again.
"I just-" he placed the glass in the sink before turning back to her "I just saw y/n talking to I guy I-"
"Oh my god you're jealous!" she said it with such enthusiasm and with such a smile pulling at her lips that you would have guessed she'd just won the lottery
"no" Joel frowned, shaking his head "What are you on about? I'm not jealous, I just don't like the guy"
"yeah" Ellie snorted "I'm sure you just "don't like the guy"" she air quoted as she laughed
"Why would I be jealous?" Joel went on pretending,
perhaps lying to himself together with her, the jury was still out.
"I'm just worried for her-" he argued "she's too kind and too fucking nice and Jake's an asshole"
again, Ellie only smiled as she watched him lie so blatantly
"why would you be jealous?" she pondered his question with amusement "well I don't know... maybe 'cause you have the biggest fucking crush on her"
"What!?" he spat "I don't know what's going on with you today, where did you get all these ideas? I-"
"Oh my god please shut up Joel" she groaned, rolling her eyes "That rude asshole act you do around y/n may work with her, but you don't fool me, Miller"
Ellie could swear she saw a hint of panic in his eyes
"I know you like her, just like I know she likes you" She finally said, done with this little act "I honestly don't get why you two don't just declare your love to one another and live happily ever after or some shit"
It was like he froze,
and while Ellie thought it was because he'd just been busted by a 14-year-old, it was for a wholly different reason
"she doesn't like me" he stated
And at that, at that Ellie could just groan as her palm descended dramatically down the length of her face
God, she'd always known he wasn't the brightest, but this? This is a little too much even for him
"Are you blind or something?" she threw her hands out for emphasis "She's definitely better at hiding it than you, I'll give you that, but I mean, still... it's fucking obvious dude!"
"Ellie" Joel only shook his head "you 'don't know whatcha talkin' 'bout"
Ellie was now very close to yelling at him.
"Joel I'm serious, she likes likes you!" she argued, "why do you find that so hard to believe?"
But of course, Ellie couldn't have known what was going on in Joel's mind, how certain he was that it wasn't true,
about how he knew he didn't deserve someone like you, someone so kind and beautiful and smart,
how he had spent months trying to get the thought of you to leave his tainted mind,
how he'd decided to be mean, rough, rude to you in the hopes that you would stop being so nice to him, in the hopes that you would start to avoid him, to hate him, and he'd never have to see you or that gorgeous smile again.
And finally, Ellie didn't know about how he was too incredibly, terribly old for you, for such a pretty young woman.
Half his hair was gray for god's sake, he never had a chance
"I could be her father Ellie" he finally confessed what had been eating up at him for so long "I'm too fuckin' old"
Ellie didn't even need a moment to take that it, she listened, thought about it, and immediately rolled her eyes
"SO WHAT?"
You don't understand how long she had to pretend not to want to give the both of you a good shake,
it was only right for her to finally shout it out
"First of all, you're not that old" she started listing, "second of all, she obviously doesn't care" she continued "and finally Joel, if you really like her, and if she really likes you, then it doesn't matter!"
But Joel was not convinced, he'd spent too long telling himself the opposite, and he couldn't even fathom the possibility of what Ellie was saying
"you just have to tell her"
she said it like it was easy, like the mere thought of it didn't give Joel a minor heart attack, like he hadn't woken up from multiple dreams where he would confess his love and you would laugh at his face, or worse, tell him you felt the same, something Joel knew not to be the truth.
Also, Joel had no idea when exactly throughout this conversation he'd admitted to liking you, but I guess it didn't matter now, it made no sense to keep the farse on.
"I can't Ellie, I-"
"oh my god you're such a chicken" she moaned "You're the one that always tells me to be brave!"
"that's different"
"how!?" she bugged her eyes, holding her palms up in show of her frustration "I get that it's scary, but what's the worst thing that could happen?"
And that, for some reason, stuck with him,
He really had nothing to lose,
It's not like you were friends or you would talk often, it's not like he would be ruining a relationship, there wasn't one,
And yet... yet it still terrified him,
"Ellie... I don't know"
"c'mon man, but your big boy pants on" she groaned "I'm telling you, she fucking likes you"
__ __ __
Joel didn't do it.
He couldn't. He just-
You were perfect, you were perfect in a way that made him feel all the more dirty,
like being close to you, talking to you, touching you... would be like plucking a flower with torn-up hands,
And fuck him, but Joel was scared, like he'd gone back 40 years and become 16 all over again.
He couldn't do it, he couldn't, wouldn't do it, and he'd set his mind to that, made peace with his cowardness and dread.
Until of course, Ellie's twisted mind came up with a way to force his fears to life.
"Howdy"
The kid was smiling so broadly that she looked like a child with a brand-new toy,
but Joel's eyes were somewhere else,
he was looking at you
"Hi Joel" you smiled, punching a knife into his gut
You were at his front door with his kid, who was very clearly plotting something, and Joel wondered for a moment if this was what would finally make his heart give out.
"Hi," he said, his voice sounding distant
Why is she here?
"Aren't you gonna let us in?" Ellie urged,
Us?
"Uhm, I-"
but Ellie had already sneaked inside, dragging you behind
And now the awkward scene was even more awkward, just at the entrance of his home.
"All alright" Ellie clapped her hands, watching Joel stare at you as you tried to avoid his gaze "I'm gonna go to my room," she said, shouldering him not so subtly
"Cool down dude" she mumbled, before disappearing upstairs.
What the fuc-
"I'm sorry to barge in like this" you finally spoke, a gentle smile on your lips "Ellie said you needed to tell me something, so I just... came here I guess" you finished with an awkward laugh
Fuck-fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-
"If it's too much trouble I'll just go-"
"no," Joel said, before he could stop himself, finally realizing he was still holding the door's knob, and in a spur of bravery, deciding to use it to close the door.
"Oh, ok" you mumbled, puzzled by his demeanor "so uhm, what is it you needed to tell me?"
God damn that fucking trick-playing kid of his
"do you- do you want something to drink?"
the question took you aback, but then you did something that stunned Joel even more, you laughed,
you laughed softly, quickly, like you were letting out all this stupid awkwardness in a simple gesture
because that's how you were: Magical
"Sure" you shrugged, grinning "some water would be nice"
If Joel had to watch your face for an instant more he feared he was gonna explode, so he did all he could think of, he walked to the kitchen, only glancing at you again when he handed you your drink,
to his dismay, finding a smile still drawn on your lips.
"thank you" you said, taking a sip
god, even the way your lips wrapped around the rim made him want to drop to his knees.
He needed to get a grip.
"so... are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess?" you joked, your fingers drawing patterns on the glass
Was this really happening?
Was this hell?
"I..." he trailed off, running a hand through his hair as he glanced from the counter to you on repeat "I wanted to tell you that..."
"that?"
"that- the uhm-" he shut his eyes for a second, searching for words "the...bread you gave us this week was real good"
Goddamnit
"oh"
Even you couldn't hide your disappointment
I mean, you certainly didn't expect it. A compliment from Joel Miller? What universe were you in?
Just like you didn't expect any of this... him actually letting you in his house or offering you water...
You had half expected him to shut the door in your face,
The most he had ever given you was a half smile at a joke you told him while he was picking up bread, the rest were all rude grumbles or just a bunch of stoic looks...
and yet... yet a part of you couldn't help but have set expectations a little higher.
What a silly fool you'd been,
hoping for a love confession from a man who has made it very clear he despises you,
but still- a girl can dream, right?
"thank you" you mumbled, as Joel cursed himself over and over in his head "that's very nice of you," you smiled, stalling a second to see if he was gonna say something else, interrupt you at some point,
but he remained silent
"well if that's all, I'm gonna go then, thank you for the water I-"
Until he wasn't
"no-stop- I-"
Ellie was right.
He had to do this, he had to win his fear and try at least, or he was gonna regret it for the rest of his life, and he already had too many of those.
The problem was that you looked really beautiful today, and he'd never been good with words
Fuck it- if he was gonna make a fool of himself so be it,
He had nothing to lose and everything to win,
he had you to win.
"Yes?" you asked, trying to tame your hopes down
Think Joel, think
how the fuck do you tell a woman you like her?
"There's one other thing I've been meaning to tell ya" he cleared his throat, standing up straighter as he took a step closer to you.
"'m not great at doing this type of thing" he admitted, shaking his head slightly "but Ellie... she's right, I'm always tellin' her to be brave and everythin', so... I guess it's my turn now," he said, letting out a short, anxious laugh "I don't even know- I guess what I'm tryna say is that I'm gonna be honest now, but I want you to know that- that I know what you're gonna say and it's ok" he swallowed thickly, preparing himself from your inevitable rejection "I understand, really, I just- I thought I should try at least"
What was going on?
What the fuck was he saying?
"Joel, what are you talking about?"
This was it.
It was now or never.
"Y/n I-"
his heart was beating out of his chest, and his legs felt like jelly, but he had to do it, he had to take a leap of faith-
"Y/n I like you" he breathed like the words longed to be out of his mouth "I like you a lot, I have for a while now"
he watched your mouth part, your whole face filling with shock as you blinked over and over, trying to make sure this was really happening.
"Y-you like me?"
"yes" he nodded "And as I said, I know you don't feel the same, I know I'm old, and I've been an asshole to you all this time, so it's ok, really I-"
"stop talking Joel" you huffed a laugh, stepping closer, and then closer again, until your hand was on his arm "please just-" you bit down a smile, and he was so confused, so fucking confused, "say it again," you asked
"I like you y/n" he murmured, trying to get his mind to start working again,
but you were leaning closer,
and who cared what his name was anyway
"you were rude to me"
"I was, I'm sorry I-"
You pretended to be thinking about it, glancing upwards as you pursed your lips together
But who were you kidding?
"you're forgiven" you smiled, looking up at him as you slowly raised yourself on your tiptoes to gently, oh so gently, press your lips to his.
Joel was certain he had just died.
But then he opened his eyes again, and you were still there, beaming up at him, and he felt such a wave of happiness that he could have started crying right there,
only he took on a different route and grabbed each side of your face with his hands, crashing his lips with yours and kissing you, kissing you like he'd been dreaming of for months
exactly how you imagined he would,
better than you imagined, actually
so much better.
"Ha! I told you, Joel!"
He groaned as he leaned away, shooting Ellie an annoyed glance
"What are you doin' here?"
"just came here to gloat" she shrugged, watching you two with a grin plastered on her face
"I think you've done enough of that" he muttered, but you could only smile
"thank you, Ellie," you grinned "Thank you for doing this"
She raised her brows, looking at Joel as if saying "See, she's thanking me, why aren't you?", but then her expression got more genuine as she shot you a smile
"you're welcome" she smiled "Better having to see you kiss than having to put up with Joel being all sad 'cause you're talking to Jack or any other guy"
You gasped with amusement as Joel shut his eyes in embarrassment, his cheeks tainting with red
"Ellie-" Joel grumbled,
A soft giggle flowed through the room as Ellie turned away and went back up to her room, seemingly satisfied with her work
"You were jealous?" you teased him, your hands on his chest, while he'd moved one of his from your face to your waist.
"maybe I was" he fessed up
You smiled even brighter
"And you like me?" you asked for the thousandth time
"yes, sweetheart, I really fuckin' like you" he smiled too now, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that made time stand still and the world spin around
"I like you too Joel" you finally said, giving the man an actual mini-stroke.
"say it again"
#sorry for not posting lately im not going through the best time at the moment#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#fluff#joel miller imagine#joel miller blurb#joel miller angst#fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#joel miller x f!reader
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✨ Rating Hazbin Hotel ships ✨
Adam / Lucifer - 3/10, It's definitely a funny concept that Lucifer fucked both his wives and then him, but in reality it's a no from me.
Adam / Lute - 7/10, Their relationship would've been unhealthy af but not gonna lie it's pretty cute. I just love Lute so goddamn much lol.
Alastor / Lucifer - 7/10, I like the concept because it's genuinely funny and kinda cute but only as a crack ship. I definitely don't see it actually happening.
Alastor / Literally anyone else - 0/10, I genuinely don't think Alastor would ever even consider a relationship. He just thinks he's above everyone else.
Angel / Cherri - 0/10, What the fuck y'all, he's gay. This one is weird af and idk why it's even a thing.
Angel / Husk - 10/10, I love that Husk cares about Angel for more than sex, they're so cute together especially if they take things slowly.
Charlie / Emily - 2/10, They're so similar that together I feel like it would be too much. Also I really dislike the idea of splitting up Chaggie.
Charlie / Emily / Vaggie - 6/10, I probably wouldn't mind all three of them together. It would be cute to call it Charlie's Angels lol.
Charlie / Vaggie - 10/10, I love them together, they're so supportive and adorable. The way Vaggie looks at Charlie with so much love warms my heart.
Cherri / Sir Pentious - 7/10, I don't like Cherri all that much but I'm so happy that Pen got the girl in the end, he deserves to be loved.
Lilith / Lucifer - 5/10, Mostly it's low because I'm suspicious of Lilith. If she ends up not terrible then I could see it being higher but idk, it's sus for now.
Lute / Vaggie - 7/10, I enjoy the idea of them being exes or something like that. Or Lute being jealous of what Vaggie has with Charlie.
Niffty / Valentino - 10/10, Great crack ship. The fanart is hilarious and Nif's love of bad boys makes it a great concept. But I do pretty much only like it as a joke.
One sided Vox / Alastor - 15/10, This is 100% canon in my head. Vox is SO down bad for Alastor and took it SO personally that Alastor couldn't give less of a fuck like the aroace king he is. I love this SO much.
Valentino / Vox - 500/10, This is my Hazbin OTP honestly. These two losers are terrible people but I love them together more than I can even put into words. They just fit so well together and act like an old married couple.
Valentino / Velvette / Vox - 2/10, Velvette sees Vox and Val as her dumb gay dads and I'll die on that hill. They're more like a family and she's the glue that keeps the other two from imploding when they get pissy.
Velvette / Vox - 2/10, Not feeling it. Honestly I think Velvette is aroace and/or a lesbian. I just don't see anything romantic involving her and either of the other Vees.
#hazbin hotel#alastor#charlie morningstar#lucifer#angel dust#husk#cherri bomb#sir pentious#vox#valentino#velvette#niffty#vaggie#shipping#radioapple#radiostatic#staticmoth#chaggie#lilith#adam#lute#hazbin hotel emily#voxval
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Take Care of You [9]
Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader
Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)
Chapter Word Count: 9,950
Mood board and borders by @saradika
Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?
[a/n: we back, baby. and we also barely edited so if you catch a typo don't hate me. also this was supposed to end in a different spot but then i got carried away in the middle so i had to split it 🥴]
Chapter Specific Warnings: angst, heartbreak, binge drinking to ease emotional turmoil, mild violence, mentions of blood and injury
09: LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU
"i still haven't figured out how to sit across from you, and not be madly in love with everything you do." ⏤ william c. hannon
Three years ago, Nima tried to convince you to go skydiving with her. She begged and she pleaded, but you told her ‘no’ on account of thinking she was a crazy person for wanting to jump out of a perfectly good plane. Which was hilarious now considering you were sitting beside Joel wanting to pull open the door and dive out. The irony was not lost on you.
The only reason you hadn’t gone scrambling for the door was because Joel was forced to take a work call a few minutes into the flight. He hadn’t moved away. Joel stayed right next to you with his arm behind you as he spoke, and every few moments he’d glance at you with a silent apology and shake his head. You’d reply with a tight lipped smile and go back to mindlessly scrolling through instagram.
Unfortunately the mindlessly scrolling was not so mindless. Since leaving Vegas, you had a high pitch ringing in the back of your mind like an endless, echoing siren. Married. A married man. Joel was⏤ Your teeth were clenched together so hard you wondered if Joel could hear them grinding against one another. Yesterday had been filled with so much anxiety, and you had managed to work through it by the end of the night. Mostly. But this was worse. This was so much worse.
Married?
Your throat suddenly felt tight, eyes stinging with unshed tears, and you hastily undid your seatbelt and stood. Joel glanced your way and you pointed to the back of the plane and mouthed the word ‘bathroom’ to him. He nodded with a soft smile, and you spun on your heel and practically sprinted to the tiny plane bathroom. You struggled to get the folding door shut and the stewardess who sat not far away stared at you in confusion. You gave her an awkward wave and finally got it latched.
“Fuck.” You shoved your face in your hands, leaning against the wall, and held back your tears. You were confused and frustrated, and you couldn’t even find relief in a good cry because Joel would spot it in a heartbeat no matter how much you tried to put yourself back together. The thought of confronting him about this right now was your worst nightmare. You hadn’t had the time to process any of the wild thoughts pinging around your head yet.
Your mind was at war with itself. On one hand, maybe you were being stupid and naive. For the last month and a half you’ve spent nearly every day with Joel and on the days you weren’t actively seeing him the two of you would talk either over a call or through text. You knew Yo-yo for 24 hours. Sure, she seemed nice and sincere, but what if Rosalind sent her to screw with you? For all you knew, Yo-yo had cruel intentions and was trying to drive a wedge between you and Joel. By taking her word you’d be playing right into that trap. What she said about the other sugar baby and about Joel being married? Maybe it was all fake and you’ve been stressing for no reason.
On the other hand, Joel didn’t kiss you. He didn’t kiss you because he wanted to ‘do right by you’. Joel asked for time. Was it because he needed to get a divorce? Worse. Was he married with absolutely no plans to get divorced and just buying time for something else?
God, if you kept up this line of thought you were gonna vomit. Quickly, you turned to the sink to splash a little cold water on your face in hopes it would help you get your shit together for the next thirty minutes. Half an hour and you’d be on the ground. But then what? It would be a miracle if you kept it together for thirty minutes let alone any longer.
You took in a long, slow breath and tried to clear your mind. When you felt steady enough, you stepped out of the bathroom. As tempting as it was to hide in there for the rest of the flight, it would probably be a red flag for Joel that something was wrong. You wandered back over to Joel and at your approach, and at the sight of you, he covered the bottom of his phone and whispered, “You alright?”
“Mhmm.” You nodded quickly and sat back down.
“I’m sorry. Jus’ another minute.”
You waved your hands at him as nonchalantly as you could and he went back to his call. You leaned back in the seat, phone in hand, and Joel readjusted his arm on the back of the seat so he could settle his hand on your shoulder. As he always did, his thumb was tracing circles on your shoulder. An action you always loved, but now an intrusive thought slammed into you⏤ does he do this with his wife? The question was so startling, so sickening, that you couldn’t bite back the nausea that rolled through your body. You jumped up so fast you nearly stumbled over your feet, and you scrambled for the bathroom.
Vaguely, you heard your name behind you, but you didn’t stop until you reached the toilet. You fell to your knees and threw up. The taste of acid in your mouth made you wince, but getting it all up did bring some relief. That relief was short lived though as you felt a large, warm hand settle on your back.
“Jesus, sugar.” He said in a soothing voice as he rubbed your back. “What’s goin’ on? Have you felt sick all mornin’?”
You spat into the toilet bowl, trying to get the taste of bile out of your mouth, before reaching out and flushing the toilet. You tried to stand, and Joel hooked his arm around you to help you up. He called out of the bathroom and a second later the stewardess brought in a cup of water and a ginger ale. Joel handed you the water and kept his hand rubbing up and down on your back.
“I’m⏤ I’m fine.” You shook your head and took a sip of water to swish and spit into the sink. “Really.”
“Obviously not.” Joel replied. “C’mon, let’s sit you down.”
“Joel…” You tried to argue, but he wasn’t hearing it. He kept an arm around you as he carefully led you back to the seat. He brought the bottle of ginger ale with you and the moment you finished the water he took the cup out of your hand to replace it with the soda. “I feel better now. It’s fine.”
“You’ve been off this mornin'. I was worried.” Joel lifted a hand to feel your forehead. It made sense that Joel picked up on your distress. He had always been so good at reading you. “You seemed fine when we first woke up. When exactly did you start feelin' sick?”
You took a sip of the ginger ale, “I…I don’t know. After breakfast maybe.” You lied. The sincerity in his eyes, the concern in his voice, it was both bringing you comfort and making you sick again all at once. You felt so stupid. Either you were freaking out over a lie a woman you barely knew told you or you were being tricked into feelings by a married man. Either way, you felt pathetic. “Your, um, your work call, Joel.”
Joel shook his head in response and didn’t even bother addressing the work call he stopped. He set a hand on the back of your neck and his thumb was lightly ghosting over your skin. You closed your eyes and took a slow breath in and out through your nose. “Tell me what I can do, sugar.”
“I⏤” You swallowed the lump in your throat. You forced your eyes open, finding Joel’s furrowed brow and worried gaze already on you, and it made you want to cry. You shook your head, “I, um, I think I just wanna lay down for a while. If that’s okay.”
“Course it’s okay.” He replied.
The seat the two of you were sharing wasn’t long enough for you to lay down without laying your head on Joel’s lap. You planned on moving to the other couch seats to lay down, but Joel’s hand was still on the back of your neck and he lightly began to guide you down. Too tired to even try and move, you settled your head on his thigh and curled your body up onto the rest of the seat.
In any other situation, this would be one of the most comfortable spots on Earth. Your head rested on his thick, firm thigh, and Joel’s hand traced where he could reach. Up and down your jawline and neck⏤ his thumb and forefinger would occasionally massage your earlobe. You tried to calm your racing thoughts. The truth was, you didn’t know the truth yet. It was a fact you kept repeating in your head in hopes it would numb the sharp pain of your worst fears, but those intrusive thoughts continued to pummel you.
“I’m so sorry, baby girl.” Joel murmured while his fingers dragged across your skin. “What a shitty way to end this weekend.” You hummed in agreement. This really was a shitty way to close out what started as one of the best weekends of your life.
Avoiding Joel made you realize how involved in your life he was. After landing in LA, Joel tried to drag you to a doctor and only conceded when you told him it was probably a 24 hour bug and you just wanted to sleep. He called you later that night to check in on you, and you managed to talk to him for a few minutes before lying about wanting to go to bed early. Come Monday morning, you went to work despite Joel texting you that you should stay home. Trying to focus at work was physically painful. Enough so that after the nightmare Monday had been, you left midway through the day today claiming to Henry that you didn’t feel well. It wasn’t even a full blown lie. You felt like shit.
Nima threw the folder of papers onto her desk and set her hands on her hips, “I’m gonna hit him with my car.”
“Please don’t.” You mumbled with your chin resting in your palm as you leaned on the other side of her desk. After leaving work, you came directly to Nima’s office. Going home and sitting on your couch, alone with your thoughts, would only make you ten times more miserable.
“No, actually, my car isn’t big enough. I’m gonna commandeer a bus and hit him with that.”
“I haven’t confirmed anything yet. For all I know, I’m being this pathetic over nothing.”
Nima snapped her hand up and pointed at you with a glare, “No. I will not have you shit talking yourself when the only person we should be shit talking is Joel Miller and his wife.”
You groaned and let your head fall to the desk. The words ‘Joel Miller and his wife’ made you viscerally ill. The time you spent not talking to Joel Monday night you spent stalking people on social media. You reached dead ends very quickly though since Joel didn’t have any social media whatsoever. The easiest solution was to just look Joel in the eyes and ask him for the truth, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You wanted to know the truth, but you were scared to actually seek it out.
If you asked Joel for the truth, if you confronted him, then he’d give it to you.
What if the truth was something you didn’t want to hear?
“Alrighty, babe, real talk.” Nima said and you lifted your head, keeping your chin resting on the wood, and saw she had dropped down into her office chair. To meet your eye line, she held her chin on the desk across from you to mirror your position. “I can threaten and plot his demise all I want, but I know I’m not allowed to kill him until this is confirmed or denied.” She twisted her lips. “You deserve the truth.”
You pouted, “How am I supposed to ask him about this, Nima??”
Her eyebrows furrowed in concern, “If you did ask… How sure are you that he’d answer truthfully?”
You pushed up and leaned back in the chair. That was a good question, and with anyone else it would probably be a real concern. However, you weren’t worried about that. You truly, deep down, believed that if you confronted Joel about this he would give you the truth.
“I really think he would.” You answered. “Is that naive of me?”
“You know him better than I do.”
This entire situation made you question that. Did you know him? You knew he grew up in Austin. He had a younger brother, Tommy, and it was just them and his mom for most of his childhood. You knew he attended one year in college when his mom passed away⏤ cancer. Joel dropped out of college to take care of his brother and picked up a job in construction. That’s where he got his start. His first boss saw he had a knack for more than just the manual labor and trusted him with more and more until Joel was running sites for the man. At 27, Joel’s girlfriend of three months got pregnant. They planned to make it work, but she left when Sarah was two weeks old. You knew he adopted Ellie three years later. That he earned his bachelor’s degree in business at home through online classes while raising two young girls and working a full time job. That he started Miller Construction shortly after earning that degree, and it blew up from there.
You knew despite being a tough guy, he didn’t like horror movies.
You knew his favorite whiskey was Lagavulin⏤ neat.
The one thing you didn’t know was if he was married or not.
“I am going to suggest something,” Nima began, “And I want you to listen before you call me crazy.” You shot her confused look and she continued on. “I have this cousin.” You groaned and Nima chastised you to listen. It seemed like she had a cousin available for every situation that arose, and half the people she called cousin weren’t even technically related to her by blood. Anytime you asked her about it all she’d say was ‘Korean moms’ love to talk’, as if that clarified anything for you. “Seriously. He’s dating a private eye. With one text, we can get some answers.”
You shook your head, “Nima, that’s insane.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, hiring a private investigator is insane.”
“Look, it’ll get us reliable answers.” Nima argued. “The truth.”
You rolled the idea around in your head. It was literally the epitome of paranoid absurdity, but you were wondering if that’s the point you were at. Would it be better to find out this way? That way when you finally did confront Joel you wouldn’t be blind sided by the answer. Hell, if the answer turned out to be ‘no, he isn’t married’ then you can chalk up the last few days as time wasted and move on with your life. That being said, it did seem like an invasion of Joel’s privacy.
“That feels…” You paused, “Illegal?”
“It’s not illegal to hire a PI.” Nima countered then tilted her head. “I think. I’m not a lawyer, but people do it on TV all the time, right?”
“Well, that logic is foolproof.”
“I’m not gonna do it if you tell me you don’t want to do it.” Nima said firmly. She crossed her arms and gave a small little shrug. “But you have to do something. Either this or just call him right now and tell him the two of you need to talk.” There was a protective sincerity in her eyes that felt like a security blanket being settled on your shoulders. “I don’t want to see you get more attached to this guy just to be hurt. I don’t want him to lie to you.”
You knew Nima only had your best interests in mind. Technically, Joel had given you no reason not to trust him. Half the time you thought on this topic you convinced yourself you were overreacting and being a pathetic, paranoid mess. Yo-yo, as nice and fun as she had been, was a virtual stranger to you. Her word shouldn’t trump Joel’s. You knew all of that, and you wanted to trust him. However, it felt like some broken part of you was looking for something to be wrong. Joel Miller was too good to be true. Why would someone like him be interested in someone like you? There had to be something else going on. According to your ex, you hadn’t even been worthy of him and Joel Miller was ten times the man he was.
“Okay, do it.” You blurted and hated yourself for doing so.
Nima held your gaze for a second, but you pushed to stand and crossed her office to her private bathroom. You took one of the paper towels, dampening it, and set it on the back of your neck in a poor attempt to ground yourself. For a while longer, you just stood there in front of the sink. Not staring at yourself, but staring forward at a singular spot as your thoughts raced. You needed a positive thought. Just one would do, and you were prepared to drag it out of your thick skull kicking and screaming if necessary.
“Everything is going to be okay.” You mumbled to yourself softly.
The whispered words did nothing for your anxiety. However, the memory of him did. You found comfort looking back at the soft moments spent with Joel and let yourself fall down that rabbit hole. The temporary peace was nice, but it didn't last. Finding strength you didn’t know you had today, you splashed your face one more time and then left the bathroom.
Your eyes immediately landed on Nima who stared back with wide eyes. Nima spoke first, “What?”
“What?” You repeated. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Oh, I thought you said something.” Nima flipped her phone over and settled her hand on top of it. You glanced from her face to her phone and back again. A look of misery flickered across her features. You tilted your head in question. “Are you hungry? I’m hungry.”
“Nima.” You crossed the room quickly. “Did they already text back??”
“No. Yes. Maybe?” Nima shook her head. “Not exactly.”
“Nima.”
She twisted her lips and drummed her nails against the plastic case of her phone. You shot her another look and she blew out a sigh. “He sent me a response, but it’s like half an answer. Half a report. We should wait until he can⏤”
“What did he say?”
“Apparently, he’s working on a case for someone else right now and had a database right in front of him so all he had to do was type in⏤”
“Nima, please.” You blurted. It felt like your heart was caught in your throat. You couldn’t breathe and you didn't feel coherent enough to string together a thought. Her hesitance was an answer in and of itself. You rubbed your throat, your other arm wrapping around your torso in a poor attempt to hold yourself together, and gasped. “Just say it.”
“He’s married, babe.” Nima mumbled. You knew the words had been coming, but they still overwhelmed you. The air left your lungs as if someone had gut punched you and you fell back into the seat in front of her desk. “He said he’d send me the certificate when he could, but he has to finish this job first. I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I⏤”
Nima stopped herself from speaking as she came around her desk and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You sat in her embrace for as long as your shattering mind could endure and then shook your head, “I need a drink. Drinks. Plural.”
“It’s three in the afternoon, babe.” Nima mumbled in concern. You shot her a dry look and she offered you a tight lipped smile. “Drinks it is! Let’s go. We can go back to my place and⏤”
“No.” You pushed to stand. “I wanna go out.”
“Oh… kay. Where?”
“Anywhere.” You turned and began to leave.
Nima was scrambling to gather her belongings into her strawberry shaped purse before rushing out after you. “Just one drink though. I hate being the voice of reason, but we should limit ourselves to one drink.”
One drink turned into two which turned into three which turned into twelve.
By 6 PM, you were borderline wasted. It was by no means the best decision you’ve ever made, but you couldn’t classify it as your worst considering that, for the first time since leaving Vegas, you didn’t feel sad or defeated. No, those blue emotions had turned into a burning shade of red. You had finally found your anger and all it took was copious amounts of alcohol.
“I mean, married?” You scoffed as you stood at the bar with Nima at your side. “That’s⏤ That’s illegal.” Nima nodded in agreement as she blindly tried to find the straw in her drink with her tongue. You reached out and pushed it toward her lips. “And worse than illegal! It’s fucking rude.”
“So rude.” Nima slurped at the last of her drink and all you could hear was the rattling of ice in her glass. She pulled away to slam the cup down and pointed at you⏤ her pink hair had been let down from the braid to messily rest around her shoulders. “You should get a new sugar daddy!” You stuck your tongue out in disgust and shook your head. “No! This is such a good idea.” Nima began to look around the bar. “Let’s find you a super hot, super not married sugar daddy.”
“I don’t want a new sugar daddy. I want another drink.” You leaned on the bar and waited for the bartender to look your way. Nima and you had bounced to a few bars. The two of you, back when you were sober, decided to start drinking in an area that had multiple bars all within walking distance. The one you were in now wasn’t familiar to you⏤ it wasn’t a place you and Nima had been to before. It was a bit too upscale for your liking. Sober you would not have been a fan. Drunk you? Loving it.
Nima was tapping on your shoulder rapidly and when you looked her way she was pointing across the bar to God knows who. “He looks like he wouldn’t marry someone without your permission.”
“That’s,” You shook your head, “not my situation.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.” You shook your head and looked back toward the bartender who was busy with a group of women further down the bar. The sound of vibrating vaguely filled the air and you leaned closer to Nima who immediately wrapped her arms around you in a hug. “You’re vibrating.”
“You’re vibrating.”
You found her purse and opened it so you could rifle through it. It dawned on you then that somewhere around bar two and drink five you had shoved your phone in her purse for safe keeping. When you finally managed to pull it out, Joel’s face was flashing on the screen and you yelped in surprise. You tossed the phone onto the bar and held your face between your hands.
“Oh, no. Oh, no, no.” You shook your head and the vibration stopped. Joel’s picture disappeared and was replaced with a notification of a missed call that joined the notification telling you that you had unread messages. Your eyes snapped to Nima who was trying to drink out of her empty cup again. “Joel.”
“Bastard man.” Nima edited.
“Dinner.” You grimaced. “At 7. I’m supposed to get dinner with Joel at 7. It’s 6:35.”
Nima shook her head and crunched the ice she had shoveled into her mouth, “Bastard man can go to dinner with his wife tonight.”
You grimaced, “I hate all the words you just used.”
The bartender began to wander over and Nima turned to order more drinks. You picked up your phone and leaned against the bartop with your elbow. With a frown and furrowed brow, you opened your text messages. Every unread text was from Joel unsurprisingly. The first came in at 4:29 and it was a simple, ‘Hey sugar, I’m excited to see you tonight’. The next was almost exactly an hour later and it said, ‘Hope your day’s been alright. We still on for tonight?’. Finally, the most recent at 6:15, was just your name with a question mark.
You set the phone back down before the temptation to reply could overcome you. It only sat on the bartop for a second before it began to vibrate violently as another call came in. Joel’s face filled the screen and you felt a wave of sadness drag you under. The fact that you were mourning the lack of his presence to this degree was probably a sign you were doing this ‘sugar baby’ thing very wrong.
“Maybe I should answer it.” You voiced the thought aloud.
Nima caught it and gasped before slapping her hand on top of the still buzzing phone, “No, ma’am! You will not be doing that.” The bartender set two new drinks between the two of you. Nima pushed one in front of you and moved the straw to point directly at you. “Drink.”
You took a sip then spoke, “I don’t even know the whole story⏤” Nima pushed your face back to the straw so you took another long sip. “Maybe it’s a misunderstanding…” This time your lips found their way to the straw on their own accord and you took a sip that could be argued as dangerously long. “I need to talk to him. Confront him. Demand answers.”
“Yes. To all of that. Eventually.” Nima replied with a nod. She reached forward and bopped you on the nose with her finger. “But not tonight.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know one thing in life,” Nima held up the one finger she used to bop your nose, “You do not have serious conversations while drunk.”
You shook your head with a pout, “I thought you said you don’t like being the voice of reason.”
“If it means helping you, I’ll always lean toward reason, babe.”
The two of you went back to drinking. Your vibrating phone stopped and a few seconds passed before a notification for a voicemail popped up. You turned to Nima, “Can I listen to it? That’s not talking. That’s listening.”
Nima chewed on her straw slowly before bobbing her head in an affirmative nod, “I shall allow it.”
You picked up the phone to listen to the message he left you.
‘Hey, sugar.’ Joel’s voice rumbled over the line and you felt your chest physically ache at the sound. You closed your eyes in annoyance with yourself. If you hadn’t fallen so hard, so fast for this man you wouldn’t be in this scenario to begin with. ‘Gotta say I’m a little worried. Haven’t heard from ya all day. Gimme a call when ya get this.’
You groaned and set your head down on the bar. Guilt gnawed at you. It felt childish of you to be ghosting him like this, and that wasn’t your typical go to move. You had enough respect for the people in your life to address them when needed rather than hide behind voicemail. With the guilt was a swirling vortex of anger. You were angry at Joel for not being up front with you. You were angry at Yo-Yo for being the one to plant the initial doubt that started all this. You were angry at yourself most of all. Angry that you felt guilt at all, angry that you had foolishly placed so much trust in a man you barely knew, angry that despite everything there was still a part of you that craved his presence. You missed his touch and his voice. You missed those burning brown eyes and the way his very glance could melt you into a puddle.
“You okay, babe?” Nima’s voice asked softly. You shook your head without lifting it. “I’m sorry. I can break his knee caps if you want?”
“What?” You lifted your gaze.
“What?” She replied innocently.
The phone began to vibrate again startling you. He had just called so you didn’t expect him to call again, but then again you were supposed to be in your apartment waiting for him to pick you up for dinner. You pictured him standing at your door dressed up and holding a bouquet of flowers. Nausea rolled over you in waves, and you grabbed your mixed drink thinking it could cure your troubles.
A few minutes passed before another voicemail was left. You snatched your phone up and shoved it back into Nima’s purse so it would be out of your line of sight⏤ not even bothering to listen to the second voicemail. Tomorrow, you decided. Tomorrow you would confront Joel and have this difficult conversation. You both finished the drinks in front of you as the lively bar continued to thrive around you.
“Why is he married?” You asked suddenly. Nima must have known it wasn’t a question you expected an actual answer to as she stayed silent. You rested your face in your hands and sighed. With your eyes closed against your hands like this you began to feel dizzy. A sure sign that you should stop drinking. Nima rubbed your back soothingly and you dropped your hands to shoot her an appreciative glance. “You’re the best best friend a girl could ask for.”
“I know, babe. And you know what else I know?” Nima squished your cheeks together with a wide grin, “You deserve the universe in a gold hand basket, and any man who can’t see that or who would play games with your big, loving heart doesn’t deserve you.”
You laughed and Nima chuckled herself before letting go of your face to pick up her empty glass. Her tongue struggled to find the straw but once it did she tried to take a big gulp only to get drops and air. Nima pulled away from her straw and furrowed her brow, “Who finished my drink?”
With another laugh, you raised your hand to order two more drinks. At this point you’ve already had so much to drink, what would one more hurt? You knew the hangover tomorrow was going to be a bad one, but a part of you was looking forward to it. There would be no mourning Joel tomorrow if your head hurt too much to even think his name.
Nima successfully managed to distract you again as she drunkenly delved into a story you weren’t quite following, but you enjoyed the way she told it. A low whistle interrupted the moment of peace the two of you had found. You glanced past Nima to see two men in business suits wandering over. Nothing about them stood out to you. One was brunet and the other blond, but they both looked like they never grew out of the frat lifestyle on a college campus.
“We saw you two pretty ladies from over there and wanted to come and offer you our company.” The blond greeted smugly.
Nima turned in her seat to face him and waved her hand at him while taking a long sip of her drink until the ice rattled in the glass. Then she pulled the straw out of her mouth to finally speak with a shake of her head, “Sorry, we don’t speak english.”
“You just said that in English.” The blond chuckled.
“Sorry, sorry.” Nima waved her hand once more. “I don’t understand your accent.”
You snickered under your breath while chewing on your straw. The brunet stepped forward to stand side by side with the other and shook his head, “No need to be a bitch. We just wanted to talk.”
“Oh, you haven’t even begun to see bitchy yet.” Nima pointed her glass in their direction⏤ a bit of ice sloshing out with the exaggerated movement. “I can show you bitchy.” She reached back to swat at your arm. “Tell them, babe.”
“She can.” You nodded in agreement.
The blond set a hand on his friend’s shoulder and tugged him back, “Let’s just go, man.”
The brunet reluctantly let himself get dragged away, but he continued to stare at you and Nima the entire time. Nima spun in her seat and scoffed, “Where was I before I was interrupted by douchebag one and douchebag two?”
“I’m not gonna lie,” You shrugged, “I have no idea.”
“I’ll pick a place then.” Nima said and jumped into the middle of her story. “So, there I was covered head to toe in honey.”
Same as before, you really couldn’t keep track of her tale but it amused you all the same. The two of you chatted for another minute or two before a new face came across the two of you again. Nima had bounced in her seat, excited, and it knocked her strawberry shaped purse to the floor. Your phone clattered out. Before you could climb off the bar stool to grab it, a man passing knelt down and scooped it up. In one tanned hand he grabbed the purse and in the other your phone. The phone’s screen lit up and you swallowed at the sight of the multiple missed messages all from the same person.
“Oh.” The man cleared his throat and straightened his stance. He was handsome with a kind face. Dark hair, a bit on the longer side, was messily pushed back and it matched the scruff on his upper lip and chin. The man wore a pink button up shirt, all the buttons undone, over a white t-shirt. “I suppose this is yours, miss?”
You begun to reach out, “Thanks⏤”
“Hold it!” Nima pointed at the man making his dark, brown eyes widen. “State your intentions, sir!”
“To…return your purse?” He lifted up the strawberry bag.
Nima narrowed her eyes at him and snatched it away, “Likely story.”
“Thank you.” You reached out and he handed the phone over to you. A glance down revealed four missed calls, two unheard voicemails, and five texts. You winced at the sight and set your phone face down on the bar. You were surprised to see the man still standing by your stools. “You…” You narrowed your eyes at him. “You look familiar. Have we met before?”
He chuckled and shook his head, “Afraid not, ma’am.”
It was sitting on the tip of your tongue, but your foggy brain just couldn’t quite grasp it. Nima snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “I got it. He’s that guy.” You lifted an eyebrow at her words and she nodded frantically. “Yeah, he’s that actor! You play in that one show with, like, the zombies or whatever, right?”
“Not at all.” He laughed with a shake of his head. “I ain’t no actor.”
“Well then, I’m out of guesses.” Nima grumbled. She tilted her head, looking him up and down once more, “You seem nice enough. Got a pretty face. You rich? You wanna be a sugar daddy? She’s in the market.”
You rolled your eyes, “Nima.”
“You’re in the market for a sugar daddy?” The man asked in shock. You could hardly blame the man for his confusion and disbelief. This was hardly a normal bar conversation. “Really?”
“No. She’s just drunk.”
“Irrelevant.” Nima argued.
You chuckled then introduced yourself and Nima. The man paused for a beat before nodding and offering you his hand. “Nice to meet you both. My name is Tommy.” It took a second to click, but once the name finally wormed its way through your mind your eyes widened. Tommy chuckled and answered your unspoken question, “Yeah. I am.”
Nima glanced between you two with a frown, “Hold on, I’m not following. You are what? You’ll be her new sugar daddy?”
“No way in hell.” Tommy grinned. “If I even thought 'bout it, my brother’d skin me alive.”
The look on Nima’s face stayed confused until you swallowed the lump in your throat and finally spoke, “It’s… Nima, this is Joel’s brother.”
Her face remained frozen before morphing into one of shock. She gasped, almost comically, and pointed at him. “Oh, fuck.” Her eyebrows furrowed into a glare. “You son of a bitch, your brother is a son of a bitch!”
Tommy didn’t pay her outburst any mind, but his eyes darted back to you. “I asked my brother to come out drinkin' with me tonight, but he said ‘no’ cause he had a date with you.” Tommy stuck his hands into his pockets. “Funny I’m findin' you here without him.”
“That’s because your brother is too busy with his wife to be with my girl!”
Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed in surprise and he glanced back to you, “He already told you about her?”
It was quite possibly the worst string of words you could have heard all day. Only in competition with Nima’s ‘He’s married, babe’. You felt nauseous and dizzy⏤ the breath stolen from you again. Nima was arguing with Tommy, you could hear her voice, but you couldn’t concretely understand a single word that was said. When you finally managed to get a handle on reality, you looked back to see things had fallen apart and more time than you realized had passed in your mental breakdown.
The blond and brunet from earlier, in the suits, had come back and were somehow arguing with Tommy and Nima now. You suddenly began to regret the last two drinks you had. Maybe if you had gone with a couple glasses of water instead you’d be able to puzzle out exactly what was going on right now.
“Get the hell outta here. They ain’t interested.” Tommy snapped.
“Just curious as to why we weren’t good enough for these bitches and you were.” The brunet slurred his words. Tommy stood a step in front of Nima who had slid off her bar stool to stand in front of you with her hands on her hips. “What’s so special about you, bub?”
“Ugh. How about the two of you run off to the bathroom and jack each other off, huh? Then leave us the fuck alone.” Nima sneered.
“Shut your damn mouth!”
The blond tried to push past Tommy toward Nima, but Tommy shoved him back immediately. He grabbed the guy by the collar. “You gonna charge at a woman like that? Fuckin' coward.” Tommy’s voice came out in a gravelly growl that reminded you so much of Joel that it was staggering. “You got a problem, you take it up with me.”
The next moment happened fast. The blond tried to swing out at Tommy so Tommy blocked it with his elbow before tackling the man to the ground. The brunet grabbed Nima and wrapped his arms around her. She howled in anger and squirmed in his arms trying to find purchase to hit him. The brunet spun so his back was to you and you slid off the stool. Without pause, without thought, you picked up your empty glass and smashed it to the back of the man’s head. He released Nima, crumpling to the ground with a groan, and any shred of a fight stopped⏤as did the entire bar.
Tommy was kneeling on the ground pinning the blond while Nima stood off to the side.
“Oh my God.” Nima squealed, amused.
“Oh my God.” Tommy blurted, impressed.
“Oh my God.” You gasped, shocked at your own action.
You were panting, damn near hyperventilating, as the brunet began to rise on shaky limbs. Other patrons nearby converged on the scene to help out and before you knew it you were being ushered off to the side where a few couches and seats sat in a lounge area.
“You’re such a badass.” Nima gushed from beside you. "How’s your hand??”
“Hurts.” You mumbled and stared down at the white cloth wrapped around your hand. Bright red was beginning to seep through. The consequences of smashing glass against the back of someone’s skull. Police had shown up and you knew Tommy was across the room talking to them. But still, your eyes stayed glued on your hand. The cuts weren’t terrible but they stung something awful.
“Babe?” You finally looked up and met Nima’s concerned eyes. She nodded, “You alright?”
You shot her a small smile, “Yeah. Are you okay? I can’t believe he grabbed you.”
“I’m fine.” Nima peeked at your hand then stood. “I’m gonna see if this bar has a real first aid kit we can use. Be right back.”
She jumped up and jogged over to the bar. You sunk in your seat with a sigh and leaned your head against the back of the couch. There had been something very sobering about smashing the glass against that guy’s head. The adrenaline and pain cleared any lingering fog from your previous drinks right out of your head. It left room for you to think about Joel. Meeting his brother certainly didn’t help. Tommy clapped one of the officer’s on the shoulder with a smile and they went separate ways. You lifted your head when you heard his footsteps draw near.
“Well, I spoke to the police.” Tommy stuck his hands into his pockets. “You’re not gonna get in trouble for the, you know, the glass. Won’t have to go downtown with ‘em.” You breathed a sigh of relief. Tommy held your gaze for a few more seconds before scrunching his nose and bobbing his head toward you. “And Joel is, uh, on his way.”
You covered your face with your good hand and groaned, “Can I please just be arrested instead?”
“Sorry, no can do.” Tommy sat down beside you. “You know, I didn’t say it earlier, but it’s nice to finally meet you. Joel never shuts up about you.”
“Please. Don’t.” You blurted. “I can’t… I can’t talk about him right now.”
Tommy nodded, “Right. I, uh, when I called him we didn’t talk much.” He laced his fingers together and rested his arms on his knees. “I mentioned you were hurt and things kind of spiraled from there. That’s probably for the best though. I don’t wanna get in between a lover’s quarrel⏤”
“I’m not his lover.” You snapped, and you hated the way your voice cracked. You shook your head, “Not if he’s married. Not…” The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and you were exhausted to your very bones. “This is so fucked up. I never should've agreed to…
Tommy didn’t immediately reply. He sighed, “I don’t know you, and I don’t got the exact details of what’s going on right now, but… I’m glad you agreed.” He turned and met your gaze with a tight smile. “Joel’s been… He’s been better. Joel was in a rut for a long time. So long that I kind of forgot he was in one. For a while, that was just Joel.” Tommy’s smile grew as he chuckled. “But ever since the two of you met, it’s like this weight has been lifted from his shoulders. We’ve all noticed it, and we’re all thankful.”
“He’s married.” You whispered. “And he didn’t tell me.”
Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, “I know, but it’s⏤ it’s not that simple.” He nervously chewed on his lower lip. “Can you just give him a chance to explain?” You flexed your hand and sucked in a sharp breath as pain lanced up your arm. “Consider it a favor for me.”
“A favor for you?” You snorted.
“Yeah. I kept you out of prison, remember?” Tommy joked.
You cracked a smile and Tommy’s smile widened in victory. Nima skipped back over and dropped into the seat on your other side. She pulled your hand into her lap and carefully unpeeled the cloth away. As Nima rewrapped your hand while Tommy criticized her technique and the two bickered over you. You couldn’t help but flex your hand when she finished.
“Come on, pinkie.” Tommy stood. “I’ll take you home.”
“Uh, I am not leaving my girl here alone.”
“Joel will be here soon.”
“Then I’m definitely not leaving her alone!”
You reached out to squeeze her wrist and gave her a reassuring nod, “I’ll be okay. Gotta talk to him eventually, right?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t have to be right now.” Nima argued. You pulled her into a hug to reassure her once again. Maybe this was a bad idea, but you had just smashed a glass against a guy’s head so the degree of your bad ideas couldn't possibly get worse. Nima sighed and stood up too. “Okay. You’re sure you’re fine?”
Tommy clapped his hands. “Joel’s a few minutes away. But we can stay until he gets here if you want.”
“No.” You shook your head. The thought of being alone for a minute was kind of nice. “You guys go.” Your eyes locked onto Nima. “If you’re okay with him driving you.” You glanced at Tommy. “No offense.”
He held his hands up in surrender and shrugged nonchalantly. Nima nodded, “We survived a bar brawl together. We’re bonded.” She grinned and pulled her strawberry purse around her shoulders. “Plus, worse comes to worse, I can stab him.”
“You can what now?” Tommy questioned.
“You’ve already offered me a ride. It’s too late to back out now.”
“Fine, pinkie.” Tommy waved her to follow.
You watched them go and sunk in your seat. The sounds of the bar was decent background noise, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the noise in your head. You picked at the edges of the gauze wrapped around your hand. Your eyes felt heavy and if you weren’t careful you were going to pass out on this bar couch surrounded by strangers. It was the sound of a crash that startled you back into the moment, and when you looked up from your hand you realized the door had been thrown open hard enough to hit the wall. Joel stood in the doorway panicked and wild eyed. He wore a suit without the tie and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top.
You stayed silent, sinking further into your seat, and watched as Joel’s wide eyes scanned the room. His gaze finally landed on you, doing a double take, and when he realized where you were you saw his shoulders slump in relief. Joel jogged across the room until he was able to kneel down in front of you. Joel’s warm hands found your face, cupping it softly, as he sighed, “Sugar, what the hell is goin' on? Are you okay?” Joel’s eyes studied your face then glanced down at your hand. “Jesus, your hand. Tommy called me. Sugar, I⏤”
“I’m okay.” You whispered, throat growing tight, “I just wanna go home, Joel.”
Joel tensed and he nodded, “Yeah. Alright. Let’s get you home.”
The ride in the truck beside Joel may have been the most awkward and tense ride of your entire life. It was silent. The only sound coming from the road outside. Joel’s hands were white knuckled around the steering wheel. You assumed his tension had something to do with you ghosting him this evening. His truck pulled up outside your apartment complex and your alcohol soaked brain realized not only did you not have your keys but you also no longer had your phone. Both were sitting in Nima’s purse right now.
You opened the door fully prepared to sleep outside your apartment on the welcome mat like a lost dog, but Joel grasped you by the arm cautiously to hold you in place. “You got your key?” You twisted your lips knowing he wasn’t going to fall for a lie. “Where is your key?”
“With Nima.” You mumbled. “She has my phone too.”
Joel sighed and let go of you to instead grab the truck door and shut it. He buckled you back into the seat and began to drive once more. You wanted to ask where he was taking you, but none of the words would come out. You drowned in your indecision while picking at the bandage on your hand. Joel suddenly reached over and lightly pushed your hand away from the injury.
“Stop pickin' at it, sugar.”
“Where are we going?” You blurted.
Joel shifted in his seat, “My place.”
“I don’t wanna go to your place.” You mumbled.
“Don’t care.” Joel replied gruffly and you lifted your head to glare at his side profile.
The tone of his voice stirred something inside you, and you felt the dormant anger start to reawaken. It had gotten buried under everything that happened, but now it was back full fledged. You sat up, “Take me back. I want to go home.”
“You don’t have your key.”
“I don’t care.” You snapped. “Take me home, Joel!”
“You’re comin' to my place where I know you can safely sleep it off, 'nd then tomorrow we’ll figure out how to get ya back into your apartment. Understood?”
You scoffed, “Don’t talk down to me. I’m not a child, Joel.”
“Oh, you’re not?” Joel scoffed. His tone was angry and frustrated. “Cause you’re sure as hell actin' like one.” He shot a glare in your direction before focusing back on the road. “Are you outta your goddamn mind?! Do you know how worried I was?” You crossed your arms and stared out the passenger window. “I don’ hear from you all day long. You disappear on me with no explanation 'nd then I get a call from my baby brother that you’ve been in a bar fight? And that you’re hurt?!” You stayed silent and Joel scoffed. “And now I get the silent treatment? Very mature.”
“You don’t want to argue with me on what’s mature, Joel.” You said, head whipping back to glare at him.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean??”
“You’re a hypocrite!”
“Excuse me?”
You scoffed, “It’s not very mature for a married man to pay a sugar baby for attention.” Joel hit the brakes and the seat belt caught you as the truck screeched to a stop. You glanced out the window to see his truck had reached a neighborhood and the streets were mostly void of other vehicles. When you turned back to Joel, you found him staring at you in a mix of shock and horror. You shook your head, “What was I, Joel? Some kind of midlife crisis?”
Pain could be seen through the horror, and he reached out to grab your wrist again. “No. No, that’s not…” Joel’s voice was hoarse and broken. He whispered your name. “Please. That’s not what this is.”
You tugged your arm away from his grip. “I don’t wanna talk about this right now, Joel. Either start driving again or I’m gonna get out.”
Joel kept his hands to himself as he slowly went back to driving. As if the awkward silence hadn’t been painful before it was downright agonizing now. You were pressing your thumb into the wounds of your palm just to try and keep from crying. Joel pulled into the driveway a few minutes later, and you couldn’t even get your brain to collect a single feature of the house in front of you. Joel jumped out of the truck and you stayed frozen. The passenger door opened but Joel didn’t move to pull you out. He held the top of the door frame and a foot rested on the running board so he could lean in just marginally.
“Sugar…”
“Don’t, Joel.” You said firmly. “Don’t.”
“Please just let me⏤”
“Are you married?”
Joel’s face crumpled in agony and he hung his head, “It’s… It’s not that simple. Just let me⏤”
“It’s a yes or no question.” You shrugged and tried to ignore the tears welling up in your eyes.
Joel looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he still refused to answer. You whispered his name. Finally, he lifted his gaze back to you and opened his mouth. His jaw hung open silently for a second before he could speak. “...Yes.”
You felt the tears lingering at the waterline drip down your cheeks and hastily began to wipe them away with your hands. Joel gasped and began to reach out but when you flinched he held back. He shook his head, “You’re bleedin'.”
The bandage around your hand was soaked with blood, probably from digging your thumb into the wounds, and when you felt your cheek with your fingertips they came back tinted red. You must have smeared it across your face.
“Sugar, let me… let me take you inside.” Joel murmured. “Please. I know you’re… upset, 'nd you have every reason to hate me right now, but… just let me get you inside.” His hand reached out for you once more, but he stopped himself. “You can leave in the mornin', but for tonight just⏤ just let me take care of you. Please.”
You gave a small nod. It felt weak of you, but you reassured yourself that you had little to no other option. Your hand hurt, your head ached, you were exhausted to your very being, and deep down you were torn between wanting to yell and scream or curl into a ball and cry. Joel took a few steps back to allow you to climb down yourself, but when you wavered his arms shot out to try and steady you. Joel herded you toward the front door without actually touching you.
Your eyebrows furrowed when you studied his front porch. The entire front of his house didn’t look like the typical rich LA style you were accustomed to seeing. In fact, his porch and front door reminded you of a quaint farmhouse. Joel unlocked his front door and held it open for you to walk in. Right inside the house, the foyer had an open style with a set of stairs pressed against the wall just up ahead. It opened straight into a large living room that evolved into a dining room with a matching open kitchen to the side. The entire back wall by the kitchen and dining area was made of glass but the back porch lights were off so you couldn’t see the view.
Joel tossed his keys into a bowl sitting on an accent table against the wall right by the door. You glanced over to a little bench built into the wall on the other side beneath a set of bay windows. The rest of his furniture from what you could see was modern and plain. You were drunk off alcohol and misery, but your brain was still able to take the time to note that Joel’s furniture didn’t match what you imagined him to have.
“C’mon.” Joel motioned you up the stairs. He followed after you and when you reached the top of the stairs he pointed to the left. You stepped into the master bedroom and Joel slid in past you moving straight toward the master bath. While he rooted around for something, you glanced around his room. There was a king sized bed sitting in the middle of the room covered in dark green sheets. A window sat on either side of the bed. The wall to the right was where the bathroom door and the closet door sat, but on the left was a single loveseat pushed against the wall. All the furniture was dark brown including the large dresser against the wall by the door and the smaller bedside drawers on either side of the bed under the windows. You drifted toward one of the bedside drawers where a photo was propped up. It was of Joel and two young girls. Joel had shown you enough pictures of Sarah and Ellie for you to recognize them, but in this photo all three of them were significantly younger.
The sound of a throat clearing made you look up to see Joel standing there with a first aid kit in hand. “Sit down for me?” You sat on the side of the bed and Joel sat beside you. He opened the kit then carefully unwrapped your hand. When he saw the three lines haphazardly cut into your palm he let out a soft hiss. “You hurtin' much?”
“It stings some.” You mumbled. He hummed in response and used an alcohol swab to clean up the cuts. Joel did so with soft touches and his eyes flickered to your features every second or so to check in on your status. You locked your jaw to bite back any sounds of pain that tried to slip out.
“They look bad, but I don’ think they’ll need stitches.” Joel thought out loud.
“Good.” You said. Joel grabbed some fresh gauze and began to wrap it around your hand. You studied his features as he focused so intently on the task at hand. His warm gaze was burned into your skin as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You had the urge to trace your fingers through the scruff along his jawline. When he finished, he lifted his gaze and his eyes locked with yours. The two of you stared at one another in tense silence. Pain and longing filled his brown eyes, and you wondered if it could somehow just be a reflection of your own. It made no sense for you to both be so miserable right now. “Where is she?”
Joel tensed, “What?”
“Where is your wife?” You asked more firmly.
“Are you sure you wanna get into this tonight?”
“I just want answers, Joel.” You sighed. “I need something. My mind has been a mess since we left Vegas.” Joel’s face crumpled as he closed his eyes with a sigh. “Yo-yo told me I wasn’t your first sugar baby and then she said you were married to your first sugar baby.” The words were falling out like pouring water now. “And then Nima has a cousin who has a cousin who has a friend or something that was able to find your marriage certificate⏤”
Joel murmured your name in reverence and opened his eyes. He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you from the start. That way there’d be no miscommunication or confusion. I meant to. But… I kept puttin' it off 'nd it got to the point where too much time had passed…” Joel hesitantly reached out for you and when you didn’t shy away he settled his hand on your arm. “I did have a sugar baby before you. It’s a… long story, but I am not married to her.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, “You didn’t marry her?”
“No. Absolutely not. She was… Like I said, it’s a long story.” Joel squeezed your arm. “One that I promise to tell you. In the mornin', when you’re not half drunk 'nd half hungover all at once.”
“Then who the hell are you married to, Joel?”
“I… I am technically still married to Celina.” Joel finally spat the words out. You shook your head in confusion. The name was foreign to you, but Joel heaved another sigh and added, “Sarah’s mom.”
taglist (closed):
@weddingfairy @bfences @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk @shelbyteller @anoverwhelmingdin @aheadfullofsteverogers @stagerightlauren @basicoccult @boofy1998 @farintonorth @thepascalofus @amatis-gray @casa-boiardi @northernbluess @jettia @sapphicsoie @spidey-3 @hrtsforpascal @gingersince97 @sentients17 @bigboiseason123 @lunxramour @ktheunready @heyheyheygaypay @keepingupwiththeskywalkers @adoringanakin @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @cherriebat @whitewolfstar01 @alyssa121611 @asreadbyaj @painfullyandprettypoetic @cantobightcafe @str84pedro
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✨J.M. Masterlist✨
#joel miller#sugar daddy!joel miller x reader#sugar daddy!joel miller#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#female reader#reader insert#take care of you
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That anon made me think about a hypothetical scenario of Peng trying to move up on Reader, but tbh I don't think Peng would EVER stand a chance against the twice as bad AU monkey husband duo.
Azure contantly gets the L but he is nice to Reader + he's friends enough with the two warlords to not make them immediately consider killing him if he treats Reader a lil too nicely in the beginning.
He's suspicious but he's a likeable guy, so it's not too weird of him to be genuinely polite to the queen of FFM.
Peng, though? bro's getting COOKED. literally. He's not slick like Azure, if he tried anything it'd be over for him. He's a bird-shaped mean girl, so it would immediately draw suspicion on everyone if he suddenly started being super nice to Reader after being so vocal of his disapproval towards a human queen.
I bet Wukong and Macaque (especially macaque since peng likes antagonizing him so much) would love to have a reason to destroy him in a fight 💀
FR.
like, this feathery fuck could make that mental and emotional switch from "ugh, mortals" to "but this one's kinda ok/how funny would it be to steal her" and you can bet the boys (but mostly macaque) would be on them in a second. there is no way they wouldn't clock the birds' intent the minute the bastard sidles up to reader. they sorta trust azure, they're fine with yellowtusk, but the monkeys KNOW that you canNOT trust peng.
any time the bird has the chance to get reader alone, macaque makes sure to be there or at least within striking distance. he knows reader doesn't trust peng either (and why would she, after their history of shit talking and belittling her), so he's not worried about her falling for any smooth talking, but he is worried that they might cross a line.
i could see this situation coming to a head with peng making some sort of big move on reader, mac hears it and stops it, then challenges them to a fight (like a serious challenge, to the death kinda shit).
and while wukong wants to make that bird into a roast as much as his brother, he knows that it'll be important for macaque to beat the shit out of peng by himself. despite knowing how dangerous the monkey bros can be, peng continued to poke and prod and test the limits of macaque's patience. the monkey king won't deprive his brother of getting to serve some well-deserved comeuppance. in fact, he makes a sort of show of it, announcing the fight and inviting his allies to watch.
the battle is a brutal one. normally wukong is the one to fly into a jealous rage at any slight against reader, while mac is the one to keep a cool head. but this time, the shadowy simian lets aaaaall that carefully controlled anger out in a truly vicious display of power. the bird demon has a tough time keeping up with their rival's attacks. though both combatants take some heavy hits, it's clear that peng is losing.
like. macaque could beat peng to death here, and there really wouldn't be anything anyone could do. the bird broke a rule. they pissed off the wrong demon at the wrong time. given their history, nobody has any reason to stop macaque from slaughtering his rival, and it'd be within his rights to kill them for disrespecting his wife. wukong finds it all far too hilarious to do anything but laugh at peng getting their ass handed to them, and reader knows it's going too far but won't speak on peng's behalf (both because she doesn't like them and she feels like she has no right to deprive mac of his revenge).
azure would have to beg a pardon on behalf of his stupid chicken of a sworn brother before they actually die.
wukong is hesitant to grant it. azure knows what that birdbrain did. they laid hands on the monkey king's queen, and he knows wukong has killed others for far less. that miserable pile of feathers should consider themselves lucky that the monkey king hasn't joined in on their punishment. if azure didn't want his lackey to get beaten bloody, he should've kept them in check. not to mention the fact that peng has had this macaque-issued beat down coming for a loooong time.
by the end of it, peng is nothing more than a crumpled pile of bloody feathers in the dirt. azure and yellowtusk have to scrape them off the ground and portal back to camel ridge in disgrace and defeat. they don't show their faces on flower fruit mountain for a good long while.
as for macaque...despite being clawed, tired, and a little bruised, he reigns victorious. in his adrenaline induced stupor, still covered in dirt and blood, he storms right up to reader and steals a nice, long kiss. it leaves her lightheaded, his hands on her the only thing keeping her up. he huskily promises that they'll "celebrate his victory" later. reader feels a little faint.
wukong would normally protest his brother getting peaches all to himself, but after that fight? eh, he's earned it.
#bad end wukong#twice as bad au#i do like an afterbattle kiss#where the one fighting pours all that energy and desperation into a good deep smooch#good stuff right there
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Not Exactly Cinderella Part 2
Part 1
WC: 818
“You have a thing for black hair and blue eyes, huh?” Dick teased, looking at the guy that Wally had pointed out. He laughed as Wally slapped his shoulder for the comment. “What? I’m not complaining. And you’re right, he does have a cute smile.”
Wally just blushed again.
“Well, come on, I think that most of my official duties are done. Let’s go see what he’s like,” Dick said, heading back towards the stairs.
“What if he’s a jerk?” Wally asked.
“Then we just move on and go find someone else to talk to,” Dick answered easily. “This isn’t a mission or anything, Walls, if you don’t click you don’t click. You can think his smile is cute and not want to do anything with him.”
Wally sighed, though, rather than being comforted by that.“You keep talking like he’ll want to do something with me.”
Dick stopped them at the bottom of the stairs, tugging them to the side. He knew he probably looked a little worried, but he couldn’t help it. No, of course he could fake it, he was a damn Bat, but he didn’t want to. Wally deserved to know that he was bothered by this. If Dick had known that Wally was having these self esteem issues, he would have done something earlier.
Wally deserved to know how amazing he was.
“If he doesn’t want you, it will because he’s straight or not into quick romance or doing something physical,” Dick said. “Or because he’s insane and doesn’t like red heads. Never trust someone who doesn’t like red heads.”
Wally rolled his eyes but he looked more relaxed. “Just because you have a thing for red heads…”
“Walls, sweetheart, you’re amazing. You’re smart and funny and fun. And you’re pretty damn hot too between the red hair and adorable freckles and your runner’s body. If he’s not into you there could be reasons for it, but it’s not because you aren’t an amazing catch.”
Wally let out a breath of air and nodded. “Okay. Sure. I mean, I don’t agree but sure. Let’s go talk to him.”
“Great!” Dick said with a grin. He took Wally’s hand but dropped it as they got closer to their target. The guy must have taken a break from his last discussion and was over to the side with a fresh drink in hand. Dick detoured them briefly to get drinks also; it was important for everyone to feel like they were on the same social page. They settled near the other as if taking a break from the crowd themselves.
“Enjoying the evening?” Dick asked, drawing the strangers blue eyes to them.
Oh, fuck, more adorable freckles.
“You know, I actually am,” he said, seeming surprised by that. As an after thought he held out his hand. “Oh, sorry, I’m Danny.”
Not a socialite if he was leaving off the last name. That was a positive.
“Dick,” he said, shaking the offered hand before backing off. “And this is Wally.”
“Nice to meet you,” Danny said, as he shook Wally’s hand. “You two having a good night?”
“Mostly. We’re finally where we can relax and talk to who we want to, which is nice. Wally here always has to track down the other scientists at these things,” Dick answered for them, pleased when Danny perked up at that.
“Are you scientist?” Danny asked
“Chemist, mostly material sciences but some organic too,” Wally said with a slightly bashful little smile. “You?”
“Bimolecular and biomedical engineering,” Danny said.
At least Dick would have an easy excuse to duck out when the conversation got too technical for him.
“Did they do the same thing with you and keep trying to make you pick one?”
Danny laughed and gave a little shrug. Dick could tell Wally almost swooned at the sound— not that Dick could blame Wally, Danny had a really nice laugh and the crooked smile was downright precious.
“Totally. I though that two of them were going to get in a fist fight over me at one point! Which I suppose at least would have been hilarious. I’ve won so far, but it’s going to be hard to pick a doctorate when I get there.”
“Oh man, good luck. I got my masters last year and stopped for now. Want to get some work experience, you know?” Wally asked. “But it sounds like you’ll kick ass whatever you choose. Where are you going to school right now? Gotham doesn’t really do much of that, right?”
“U Penn,” Danny said. “I’m close enough location wise that my godfather called in a favor for me to be his plus one for this event, but it really hasn’t been that bad so far.
“Who’s your godfather?” Dick asked curiously.
Danny smiled that crooked smile again. “Vlad Masters.”
Dick couldn’t help the way his nose wrinkled at that.
Danny just laughed.
--
AN: Just a little bit of Dick's POV! And oh no, Dick thinks Danny is cute too! Whatever will we do...
Wanted to write more of this, but *waves hand at everything*. But this brings us to the end of the 'new schedule'! It was fun to do but I certainly won't be doing it every week. It's back to just trauma Tuesday for now! Stay delightful, darlings.
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DRUNK SEX. DAZAI OSAMU
✮ CONTENTS NSFW, drunk sex (consensual), fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), p in v, dazai lowkey being in love ᵎᵎ wc 2.3k
ᵎᵎ check the mlist for kinktober here !
dazai wasn’t one to get drunk. that role was usually reserved for his ex-partner of the port mafia, nakahara chuuya, who, to dazai’s enjoyment, was pretty lightweight and even more hilarious while drunk.
however, dazai had a bad day that day. which arguably would be every day, considering his past, the trauma he was suppressing and the thoughts haunting his mind. though, usually, he could drown the noise by talking to his fellow peers at the agency or annoying his now-partner, kunikida.
this day, however, had been especially hard. no matter what the situation in front of him was his thoughts ran back to his mafia days, or even further, to his early times, which were mostly a blur. he had been known all his life for being so clear about his plans, his ideas, his beliefs.. having such a foggy brain was uncharacteristic of him. and, to drown it all he took advantage of the little party the ADA was throwing that night to quieten the noise.
the members of the agency were celebrating a tough case that they had cracked, each of them laughing, joking and drinking to their heart's content. none had noticed dazai behaving oddly because of their excitement and the man took the chance to sit in a corner, left hand buried in his pocket as the other dragged glass after glass to his lips. he was pretty thankful he went by so unnoticed, especially with how tipsy they had all gotten. or at least, that's what he was thinking before you took notice of him.
you had been in the agency for a little longer than atsushi, usually assisting ranpo in investigations — even if you were never really needed — or running errands with yosano. you hadn't been as familiar with dazai before, other than taking into account the fact that he was exceptionally handsome and just as much of a pain in the ass. that all, however, changed when you switched desks along with atsushi's arrival, ending up right in front of dazai's desk.
he couldn't act like he hadn't noticed you before. he always made sure to make a mental note of certain behavioural patterns you had and was trying his best to read your character from afar, which wasn't a hard task for him. and since you were now his "desk mate", as he called you, he could pursue his interest further. interest turned into conversations, conversations turned into flirting and flirting into small touches and prolonged stares. now, dazai was unable to go a day without seeing you, which was fucking with his brain hard.
and, what surprised him most of all about you was the ability to read him like an open book, something nobody, maybe other than odasaku, had been able to do. "what's up with you?" you ask, sitting next to him and watching atsushi catch a glass that was about to fall from a table. dazai's tired eyes looked at his drink, wrist circling as the ice cubes clinked against each other.
"nothing. just enjoying a nice glass of whiskey" his response is shallow, making you smile.
you fully turn your attention to him "bullshit. it's your seventh glass"
dazai meets your stare, the atmosphere shift making his eye corners wrinkle up into a sly eye-smile "are you keeping tabs on me? how bold of you to admit that."
you chuckle, bringing your glass to your lips "you're my coworker, dazai. of course i am" he scoffs at your reply. coworker. what a bad joke. the amount of times you were both about to jump on each other and getting interrupted reached a funny number.
"right..." he trails off, looking back at the rest of the agency.
"you still haven't answered my question" you turn to face him so he can't look away.
"should i? how are you so sure i'm not okay?" his brown orbs stare down at you, making your body heat up.
"it's in your eyes. it's in your behaviour. you're not as mysterious as you think, mr. former port mafia executive" his lips curl up into a smile, eyes rolling to the back of his skull.
"aren't you an expert?" you put the glass between your lips again, eyes not leaving his
"i intend to be."
dazai's taken aback by the shift in demeanour "that so?" he bends down slightly, eyes leveling yours "careful what you wish for. i might give in.”
the bottom of your glass hits the counter next to you "nobody is stopping you" and he knows you're right. he knows everyone is too busy to care if you two made a sudden and well-calculated disappearance into his bedroom. his sight was fogging up, head dizzy with need. the alcohol was definitely kicking in.
chugging down the last of his drink was enough for him to grab your wrist, drag you into the hallway and hurry down to his door.
the sounds of drunk people, loud music and chatty voices were drowned by the sudden bang of the door closing behind you. your hands trailed up and down dazai's body, fists grabbing at his hair and clothes as he held onto your hips, pushing you to the bed. his breath was hot, uneven and he reeked of alcohol. but his mind and intentions were clear from the moment he had first talked to you. never had he wanted someone more than he did you and the thought was just another nuisance occupying his tired brain. but he was about to take care of it, about to take matters into his own hands and claim what was his.
you yelped as your back hit the mattress, dazai's hands fiddling with the zipper of your dress. you broke the kiss, chest heaving "are you sure you want to do this?" he stared back at you, ceasing any movement.
"of course i am.. are you?" your hand caressed his cheek, making dazai shiver all over.
"i am.. but are you sure this is okay? right now? i meant it when i asked you if you're okay" his eyes trail down to your lips as his forehead meets yours.
"i'm sure. may i?" you nod as he leans in, kissing you softly as your breaths sync. your face feels hot all over as he parts away.
"i want to fuck you so good tonight i forget all my worries" dazai whispers, making your hairs stand up on end.
"how could i refuse?" you respond, making his eyes twinkle in the dark. moonlight shines through the window as you both hastily help the other to undress, two figures stuck together as if glued. the dark-haired man on top of you groans as he takes off your dress, taking a step back to take in the view.
"matching set? fuck..." you smile.
"i'd much rather have it off, you know?" dazai smirks, bending down to meet your knees. he caresses the smooth skin of your calf with his fingers, making you bite your lip in anticipation. propping one of your legs up, he gently undoes the strap of your heels and looks up at you. he wants to tell you how beautiful you look in the moonlight, how stunning your features are thanks to it, but he doesn't.
he's afraid the alcohol might turn his words into something else, so, with a hazy mind he decides the best way to show you what he thinks is by acting upon it, lips starting to press gentle kisses to your leg: your ankle, your knee, your inner thigh...
your breath gets caught in your throat as he kisses you right above the hem of your laced panties, left hand slowly unclasping and taking off your other heel. his fingers grip the sides of your panties and, watching you closely, slips them off, throwing them on the ground. his dick twitches in his boxers at the sight in front of him, cunt openly displayed in front of him, sopping and inviting.
"shit.. can i taste you?" he asks, making you nod.
"stop asking, just do it" he smiles as your previous demeanour drops, being replaced with sheer desperation.
"just making sure" and he licks a long strip across your clit, making your back arch with a whine.
soon enough his long fingers find their way inside of you, your gummy walls squeezing around them as he sucks on your puffy clit "shit...dazai!" you whine as he curls his fingers up, a chuckle vibrating into your cunt.
"call me by my name, belladonna. want to hear it from those sweet lips" his digit brushes over your clit, rubbing it in a circular motion as he watches you with keen eyes.
you bite your lip, cheeks red from the request "osamu.." and he raises himself, taking your lips on his as he works his fingers into your pussy.
"again" he commands.
"osamu" and he kisses you again, needier, more passionate than before.
"again"
"osamu"
"again"
"f..fuck...osamu"
"again"
"mhm.. 'samu"
dazai's whole sense of control gets thrown out the window as his lips make their way down your neck, breasts and abdomen as he kisses, bites and licks a whole mantra of indiscernible words into your skin. he curses at himself for not being able to do this sooner, for being so stupid as to let you wait for so long.. for making himself wait so much. and as you reach your high, screaming his name as you cum over his fingers, dazai's vision blurs completely.
he moves his hand away from your thighs, sucking on his fingers in the most erotic way possible before taking down his boxers in a hurry "you're not good for me.. at all" he groans as he aligns his dick to your entrance.
you prop yourself up on your elbows, reaching for his face "i disagree. i think i'm perfect for you" and he smiles in approval, tasting your lips again. curse those glasses of alcohol. since when did dazai osamu need liquid courage to get a lady into his bed? his heart was beating against his chest madly as the response came to him. you weren't just anyone. this time, he had it bad. this time, there was no escaping this. and he wanted to be selfish.
he entered you slowly, groaning at the way his length was getting coated bit by bit with your slick. you whined as you took in half of him, arms wrapping around his neck. dazai slowly breathes onto your neck, body pressed against yours "we'll make it fit" and he moves slowly, hands caressing your body as you take him. when he finally goes in fully you both take a second to breathe, a choked moan hitting your ear.
"s..see? told you... fuck, you feel way too good" and soon enough his hips are rolling into yours as he buries himself balls deep into your cunt, nails creating crescent marks into his back and shoulders.
dazai fucks you needily, selfishly, obsessively... he talks to you sweetly, he rambles, he stops in the middle of his sentences because he can't think properly. he lets himself get drowned in your moans, in your body heat, into the smell of your hair. he wants to mark you, have you, tie you to him. his whole body tenses with each touch, each whisper of his name. and he's so sure he's fucked.
"f..uck, bella... who's making you feel this good, huh?" you whine his name into his ear.
"you.. you are.. 'samu.. shit! right there!" he keeps his hips steady as he kisses down your neck.
"yeah? there? fu..fuck.. yeah, there" and he snaps his hips again, the lewd sound of skin claps hitting the room's white walls. he doesn't even care if anybody hears, let them. he's so drunk in the feeling of you he might as well call himself an alcoholic. and that's exactly what he blurts out to you, too fucked out of his mind to keep his mouth shut.
you giggle at his words, cheek pressed against his shoulder "how sappy of you. didn't picture you as the cheesy type" and he looks at you with the most lovesick smile a man could wear, his bangs getting caught into his eyelashes.
"so? don't like cheesiness?" you chuckle again, pressing your lips to his.
"i like you, that's enough" and he laughs back, cheeks pink. he thinks of himself as so stupid. so pathetic. how could he think he's entitled to love and cherish someone like you? would he even do it right?
but in that moment his head gets cleared of any worry, any negative thoughts and he thanks the alcohol for that.. wait, no.. not the alcohol. he knows it's you who's blocking out those thoughts. dazai can't help but bury his head in the crook of your neck as his pelvis hits yours in another messy stroke. you grab onto his hair as his tip hits your cervix, completely oblivious to his racing thoughts and all-over-the-place emotions.
his body tenses up, heat travelling under his skin as he mutters up some curses under his breath. and as your walls clench around his aching cock he finds himself cumming loads inside of you, moaning loudly as he does.
you're soon spent out under the covers of his bed, trying so hard to keep your eyes open. his legs tangle with yours, your head placed onto his arm as he keeps you glued to his chest "i really shouldn't have drank so much so quickly" dazai chuckles and groans as you join in.
"what, you think you'll regret this tomorrow?" his eyelids threaten to close anytime soon. his digits caress your lower back as he juts his lips out and slowly shakes his head.
"the only thing i'll regret is the massive hangover i'm about to have" you laugh at him again, placing a gentle kiss on his adam's apple as his eyes close.
"but not this... never this" he whispers as he drifts off to sleep.
© cultrise | don’t steal, copy or translate my works.
#✦— kinktober.#𐙚 — pages.#𐙚— dreamscape.#dazai#dazai x reader smut#dazai osamu#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#dazai smut#bsd dazai#dazai osamu x reader#kinktober#kinktober '23#kinktober 2023
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Maybe I want Him to Bite...(Lucifer Selfie Card Prologue React) *Spoilers*
Let me just start off by saying I am GAGGING in a good way about this prologue and it's going to sit well with me until further spoilers are posted for the unholy board story.
I tried pulling as much as I could for my saved seals but I only got his artifact for the erolabs account. (watch me get him on the censored version but not his artifact so I'm stuck on either app lol)
But this thing fueled my Luci lore needs. And I took more screenshots than I thought I would so get ready for another long react from me lmao
grab a snack my lovelies and let's get it goingggg ✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌
I'm not gonna lie, my ass skipped the whole looking and seeing Phenomenon because it's pretty much the same as it is in every selfie card lol
Someone in the tower of Hades sees him and then apparently so can everyone else. This time MC is in Gehenna just casually witnessing everyone being excited about his arrival.
MC brings up that Gehnna would be pretty nice as a tourist attraction with less destruction about and Ppyong is like "nah"
And further confirmed by Sitri, others simply just like it that way and there's not much to patch up each time there's an attack. MC doesn't really get it until they're like "Ah right, we're in Hell." (damn Ra-On when will you finally understand the assignment?)
But Sitri is suddenly being summoned by Satan iirc...and Ppyong is being contacted by Paimon who sent him a long ass text lmao, so they leave MC alone for a bit so they can walk around on their own and....
A new door?? Ooooo
OH???
GAMI GAM MY BBY BOI ^^ <3
So Gamigin has come to escort MC to Paradise Lost, which btw is like the epitome of most Rococo style paintings imo. At least in most areas.
MORAXXXXXX <3 *gently holds*
He greets MC first, and he hopes they're doing well but MC is more concerned with his body and wellness and he's just like "Awh only you say that often" HE SO WHOLESOME
Oh Marbas...I will never forget that time you tried to fucking kill us :D Hey buddy.
But no, srsly he is happy to see us in his own way lol
Buer is straight to business, as expected but also he can say hi too. I love that we get to interact with the healers more because I love seeing everyone's personality combined when it's obvious which King they used to serve before.
So MC agreed to a request, and Buer is explaining that request on the way to this beautiful ass palace. I dare say more beautiful than Leviathan's *cough*
Also Buer reminds MC of Bimet based on how he speaks and how he thanks MC for accepting the request and getting straight to the point. (which I think is hilarious)
So there are apparently RULES for Paradise Lost. Mostly concerning Lucifer himself. Marbas brings up the eye contact rule. MC then asks oh so I can look for less than 3 seconds then look away and back at him again?
I fucking love them. Because why are they acting like that wasn't an option lmao
P L Z
So this rule makes sense. Lucifer has absolute authority which to me is an overpowered ability BUT hey it works for someone like him and I dig it.
MC asks once again, hey so is that rule expired at some point?
Again bamboozled by another question instead of MC just accepting the rule for what it is. Lol It seems like Gamigin does the same thing and he was over there like ???? :o being clueless and cute as usual.
The snake on his suit is alive???? WHOA that's pretty cool.
So the snake is similar to that like the "scarlet letter" The fact that no one really knows for sure what the snake does just yet is a great mystery within itself. But you know, Paradise Lost is "newish" and I imagine Lucifer doesn't interact with many others outside of Paradise Lost so ofc no one would know what that snake does if no one provokes it.
Now this here. At first, I was under the impression that his fangs are like you know vampire vibes but nope, snake boi
that makes him h o t t e r
And thanks Marbas, because I mean why make these rules if you don't know wtf is gonna happen? My anxiety will be lovely.
MC is just like, oh wait does he bite??? LOL
Just imagine that Lucifer does just randomly bite people. Some people do this irl if overstimulated and don't know it's not socially acceptable. I do not rule out Lucifer being one of those people.
Luci is so nuerodivergent coded. If you remember from Raphael's christmas card though, he also doesn't like loud sudden noises so it's possible that they share the same traits as brothers! (but also it's possible Luci has ptsd or similar so loud noises is a no)
MC though thinks none of these rules are even needed if they don't meet Lucifer...
He's so goddamn pretty, I'd break the 3 second rule immediately if it weren't for my own aversion to looking folks in the eyes lol
So MC asks if this was the plan to meet Lucifer and Gamigan is like yeah! But Luci is just focused on how terrified MC looks.
I mean check it. A really fucking tall man that looks like a statue, with bloodied wings, demonic eyes, and a scar across his lovely big chest, and voice that could make me cause crimes is speaking to me. I'm going to be like Jjok and piss myself.
So we go into a small flashback though of why Lucifer agreed to meeting up with MC in the first place.
So Luci is just enjoying tea quietly in his greenhouse right? And it's very simplistic in design, nothing too crazy and I think that's perfect for him.
He complains slightly about how noisy it is outside but he doesn't really do much about it because he's been overworking his wings lately (poor bby it's probably a reflex that he's always gonna have)
So he notices that the devils are in high spirits and that's when Morax comes in to give him the news.
The dyanmic here and Lucifer's reaction is appropiate because he just kinda sits there and sips his tea quietly as Morax explains plainly that Phenomenon has landed and hasn't done so since 100 years prior. That's when the war first started, (if you remember the event this likely happened around the same time he became king of Paradise Lost)
Morax starts to feel sentimental about it, and Marbas is being empathetic toward him stating it's not his fault.
Now I've noticed that they call each other "brother" the same way Lucifer's brothers in heaven would. So this for sure tells me that this is the set dynamic for the 3 nobles plus Gamigin!
Yeah? See lol
Lucifer's reaction here amuses me because he's just like "Ah so this is how they truly are..." which could for sure be why he didn't believe in starting a fight with them way back when (maybe, though the event shows me he was favorable toward dragons...I can only assume he was favorable toward devils too, maybe certain ones)
Gamigin coming in being loud and happy lol I love his energy so much it fits him. I think the only person who can be loud around Luci IS Gamigin lol
SO lovelies, part 1 stops here, darn picture limit. But get yourself ready for part 2~ I'll see ya there!
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb lucifer#whb paradise lost bois 🤍#whb gamigin#whb spoilers#lucifer selfie card
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Hey there! I'm really curious about what GoM would be like with a s/o who swears a lot. Like as foul language being a cultural feature
Hi !! As an Italian, I really relate to this lmaoo
This was soo fun to write
GoM x foul mouthed reader
No warnings, but kinda suggestive for Akashi
Aomine
- "You sure talk a lot of shit for someone with such pretty lips "
- Always talks dirty to you in this kind of ways
- he's the same to be honest, so you guys are perfectly matched
- Honestly, whenever you're talking/laughing together it's half cuss words
- You definitely influence each other for the worse, as you'd swear even more when you're together
- You have no kinda filter when you're around each other because you feel genuinely comfortable talking authentically
- I could see him being curious and asking questions about how it's a cultural difference and what other cultural differences there are between you guys
- You teach him cuss words in your first language so you can cuss secretly together in public settings. Sometimes uses them on his teammates and thinks their confused reaction is hilarious
-Secretly finds it adorable
Murasakibara
- He's the same, so as long as you don't shout when you cuss, he has absolutely no problem with it
- Won't really tease you about it or comment on it like lost if the others will - just kinda sees it as part of who you are
- Like with Aomine, you two have no filter around each other and cuss even more when together, especially if you're venting or talking shit about someone.
- You tried teaching him cuss words in your first language but he couldn't be fucked to learn them
Kise
- He's a bit surprised at first but he honestly finds it funny after a while
- While I don't think he'd swear that much, he still does on occasion and has no problem with it
- Will definitely tease you about it light heartedly. Makes the same kind of comments Aomine does to flirt jokingly
- Gets very good at guessing your mood based on how much you're cussing/what cuss words you're using
- Cusses slightly more when he's around you
- I could kinda see him making you use a swear jar (idk why 💀)
Kuroko
- Was a kinda surprised when he first heard how much you cussed, but he didn't really have a problem with it, despite not really cussing himself
- Just kinda accepts it as part of your personality, ad he also understands it's parly down to cultural difference
- Although he hid it at first, he sometimes finds it kind if funny, particularly when you catch people completely off guard.
- Like Kise, he'd learn to read your mood based off of how much you're cussing and the words you're saying.
Akashi
- Really wasn't fond of it at first - he likes manners and a certain standard of etiquette though he gets it's partially due to cultural differences
- Always told you to watch your mouth at first, but he gets increasingly used to it over time. Now, he (mostly) lets it slide
- You teased him for being uptight at first, but you quickly understood that you'd bitten off more than you could chew (you'll still occasionally do it)
- Loves to punish you for your bad language if you two are alone. Sometimes, you cuss deliberately around him due to this.
Midorima
- Also prefers refined speech and manners. At first, your cussing greatly bothered him
- Frequently lectured you/told you to watch your mouth initially, and got even more annoyed when you completely ignored him
-After you started dating, he grew to (kind of) tolerate it. After all, he loves you and that includes the parts that aren't perfect
- Understands it's due to cultural differences but it still feels so uncalled for to him
- You tried to cuss slightly less around him, with very limited success, but he still appreciated the effort deep down
- You often tease him for his uptight ways, and when he does slip ip and cuss, you don't let him hear the end if it
Masterlist
#knb x reader#knb fanfic#gom x reader#aomine x reader#aomine daiki#kise x reader#knb#ryota kise x reader#murasakibara x reader#atsushi murasakibara#kuroko x reader#kuroko tetsuya#midorima x reader#midorima shintarou#akashi x reader#akashi seijirou#knb headcanons#knb crack
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So. Predatory species Obi-wan.
Mostly I just think it's funny to make him a predator bc if you take all the SW character and go "which one looks more likely to eat someone" Obi-Wan would definitely not be it. Not even top 20. He's much more likely to deliver a devastating burn with a flat tone lmao but anyway!
Specifically, Obi-wan being from a species who's pretty damn known for eating people. Like, it's not the only thing they can eat but a...... Something big happened a while ago and the galaxy never really forgot. Nowadays Stewjoni people don't really eat anyone but it's.... Mostly because they don't leave their planet. The predatory instincts are definitely here (Quinlan wears proof of that because once when they were teenagers he made the mistake of pissing obi-wan off and letting his finger wander a bit too close and long story short, Obi-wan bit him so hard he severed Quinlan's finger and they had to go to a healer really fast. Obi-wan felt super guilty for a while but Quinlan annoyed him into forgiving himself. Nowadays he's more embarassed that he lost control so bad. Quinlan thinks it was hilarious and that he definitely expected to get bitten but he didn't expect the result.)
Mostly the instincts are just Obi-wan really wanting to bite people when they're annoying and maybe wanting to chase people if they turn their back to him and run. Also headbutting people to show affection, which became a Whole Thing™ when he was on Mandalore. He doesn't really thinks about how people would taste until he's hungry and he's really good at controlling himself.
But basically this whole thing came from an idea I had with Alpha-17!
Basically it's like. Obi-wan being a predatory species is a bit of a secret bc like.... It's not like he'd be killed if people knew but Stewjoni still have a really bad reputation. So he doesn't like to talk about it. And people don't really know because he looks so mild-mannered and he smiles with his mouth closed so you can't see the teeth and he hides his hands in his sleeves because otherwise he picks at his skin which is not good when one has claws.
Okay so the clones don't know Obi-wan is from a predatory species. He's not hiding it, but when the clones see him headbutt Anakin like an affectionate Tooka they either go "maybe that's a nat-born thing" or "maybe that's a Jedi thing" or "makes sense, my batch mate like keldabe kisses too". Due to their childhood they have literally no idea of what is Normal Human Behavior so they don't notice that Obi-Wan isn't human.
Point is, Obi-wan and Alpha-17 get captured by Ventress and she tries to sow discord by being all "how can you trust a predator ? Unless you didn't know what he was? Then how can you trust something that hides what it is" basically she's just trying to get Alpha to distrust Obi-wan so he won't try to help him escape.
Obi-Wan's kind of expecting.... Not fear, exactly. Alpha-17 sort of doesn't do fear. But he's expecting some agressivity at least. Some wariness.
Except Alpha is just mostly outraged. How come Kenobi, who won't even kill a few annoying senators, gets the biological advantages that comes with being a predator?? That's so unfair. This idiot wouldn't even think about eating anyone. Alpha could use the biology way better! He would have loved to be able to eat a few kaminoans!! That's fucking unfair. How come his Jedi gets sharp fangs and he doesn't?? UN. FAIR.
Lmao yeah the whole plot is basically just Alpha-17 being offended that his pacifist of a general won the genetic lottery while he (who would have used the fangs as they're meant to be used!!) didn't. Boo.
(Obi-wan is wondering why Alpha-17 and Anakin don't get along better because they have startlingly similar reactions to learning about his species)
#Dripping stardust#obi wan kenobi#alpha 17#star wars#Also Obi-wan bonding with Ahsoka about being predators and Anakin pouting in the background#He's literally the child of the Force! How come HE doesn't gets cool fangs or claws? >:(
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x. com/ln4norris/status/1785872795974652036 thoughts on this?
this is one of those instances where so many ppl have this wildly different take on smth and honestly myself and the moots I talk to didn't even… realize it could be taken any other way ??
I think part of this is also bc some ppl are pretty new to landoscar so I'll put more effort into replying to this than I normally would bc I genuinely didn't and still don't see this as being some dramatic thing that Lando said!
but for better reference, I've actually compiled the full clips from the person who posted them in their stories originally with two clips of Lando and Carlos separately saying how their F1 buddies are NOT the same as their actual private life friendships bc I think it helps contextualize what Lando is talking about here.
I think the funniest misinterpretation about this is ppl taking these Shared Activities as indicating deep and meaningful friendships and that therefore Lando doesn't have anything deep or meaningful with Oscar… just bc no padel or golf ?? lasjfgsjla
"we don't do as many things away from the circuit [as Lando does with other drivers like Carlos and Max]"
like. in what world is that him saying anything but … that ?? it's not deep ??
esp when it corroborates what Lando said in that clip about how his relationships with the drivers he’s friends with depend on shared activities and that they’re not his actual close friends the way Max F and all his buddies in London are (he even says in the video above that his friends are mostly in London not Monaco!) and Carlos corroborated the same thing!
so for one thing, the reason he's fine with saying this is because he doesn't see it as some huge thing that he doesn't happen to have with Oscar ?? bc it's not some deep meaningful thing that he hangs with other drivers sometimes outside of F1! they're buddies sure but they're not his private life friends. that's normal and healthy !!
but the other thing that's honestly funny is ppl deciding to misinterpret this as either Lando being a callous asshole to Oscar or again, taking rpf too seriously and thinking "yaayyy I can pretend Lando is secretly in love with/has a deep bond with/is fucking [insert driver here] and hates Oscar"
and like Carlos, Daniel and Lando literally have identical bromance formats with each other and other drivers which makes the whole rpf competition thing so hilariously dumb?? they all do the common hobbies thing, the playing gay for laughs thing, the posting every interaction to social media for fan engagement thing, the roughhousing physicality thing - all with at least 3-5 other drivers. and when you count up the like rpf ship points that these people use to say which one is "better" then m@xiel shits all the way on dand0 for bonding and being mutually invested and charl0s absolutely dunks on carland0 for gay physicality and mutual affection and norrib0n comes along and reminds ppl that Alex remains a hero to Lando and Lando still gets starry eyes over him in a way he never will for Carlos or Daniel etc etc etcccc
all of which still end up paling in comparison to the actual, deep relationships these guys have with their girlfriends and with their private life friends! the idea that Lando will ever love a male friend the way he does Max F is like going to a rakes lying down park and stamping around to get hit in the face repeatedly like why would you bother to be that stupid bffr
[sidenote that I am SO glad for Lando to say smth like this video if it drives those fans away from landoscar. no joke. we do NOT want them here and we do NOT want them treating Lily the way they treat Heidi and Rebecca and treated Luisa and Isa. please stay in carland0 and dand0 and whatever else with that l@rry stylins0n misogynistic, closeted gay men as a fetish shit]
the reality is that if Lando was just meh about Oscar and disinterested in spending any more time with him than he needed to then why would he even point this out ? why would he bother to point out - with even kind of an exasperated pout in his voice - that Oscar isn't interested in anything they can spend time together doing if he… doesn't want to spend time with Oscar anyway ??
exactly asfgsajgflagf
and for ppl who are new, literally the reason a lot of us are so Compelled is precisely bc Lando and Oscar don't follow the cookie cutter bromance format and their respect and interest in each other doesn't rely on common activities or playing into fan PR. they're literally the anti-PR partnership not bc they hate each other or have drama but bc every member of their team says how much they've bonded as drivers and that every time we get content of them together they're beaming at each other and seem to have all these cute little in-jokes and softness. but none of it is for show! none of it jumps off the screen or has them knowingly trying to bait fans!
their entire dynamic is for their own benefit alone and both of them have said how happy they are to have their future together settled for so many years. and the whole vibe of landoscar fandom is that we were all fine with the idea of them just being work friends! then Silverstone happened and the Austin filming happened etc etc. and now we're all watching it and writing fic and making gifs and edits bc landoscar is gentle and gradual and sweet and boyish and genuine.
it's been this gradual little dance between two guys who each have a unique preoccupation with each other but they don't do any of the usual blokey things to force a friendship. Lando's fixations on Oscar's name and his hair and how he's taller and bigger than him and the weirdly horny verbal burps that come out aren't something he does with any of his other driver friends. Oscar is so chilled about other drivers and doesn't even do the whole hero worship thing, yet his internet history about Lando is it's own extremely unique thing that has carried over as his teammate in a way he's never been about another driver.
they don't roughhouse or make fun of each other or push each other's buttons for fun and they don't even raise their voices around each other ?? everything is so gentle and not macho at all ! Lando strangely feels awkward and looks right at Oscar to explain why he diverted to visit Daniel with Martin as a spontaneous unplanned thing even though Oscar wasn't even in Australia anymore when that happened and Oscar didn't even feel like it needed to be explained! Oscar learns and adapts to what Lando feels sensitive about and needs some help with and sometimes even keeps an eye out for his physical well being.
and I think something that has kind of been missed entirely is that the context for the latest video was Lando saying how he's always been the youngest or least experienced in a driver friendship dynamic and - as he's said many times before! - he finds the idea of having to be the older experienced leader not at all comfortable!
which leads to smth a lot of us have always found the sweetest part of the 814 dynamic, the fact that Lando realized early on that he doesn't have to Try with Oscar and he can just exist in his feelings with Oscar and Oscar does not push and he does not get annoyed or weird or offended! and that means that Lando is yes, free to be the full range of bratty to sweetheart and everything in between bc Oscar will just smile at him and be patient. but !! it also means that unless Lando uses his words or takes charge, Oscar will remain in that quiet patient position in their dynamic and won't presume to take charge.
so Lando wishes Oscar would be the older one and take the initiative and now he's in a pickle where he's saying they only don't hang out bc Oscar won't share an interest with him and you can see for a second he knows what he's saying isn't true bc they all talked on a fan stage about a padel competition between Williams and McLaren and he remembers inviting Oscar out to golf at the last minute one time and that Oscar only declined bc he doesn't know how to play and didn't want to hold everyone up but ugh !!! like that is SUCH a Lando situation to get himself into and to somehow be mad at Oscar about <3<3
but ever since Oscar arrived with very little fanfare and decided not to draw too much attention to himself until literally recently, when the Alpine drama was finally firmly behind him, he's been so intent on showing his deference to Lando and even as lately as the place swap in Melbourne that he fully understands the driver dynamics within the team and respects it. and the thing is that Oscar genuinely is so happy to wait and see what Lando wants or needs that it would never remotely occur to him to push or insert himself into Lando's social life unless invited!
so yes, being a fan of landoscar is just like this! it'll never be the PR friendly bromance or the l@rry stylins0n conspiracy theory.
and yep weirdly enough for how so many ppl are taking it, this video for us is so sweet bc Lando's publicly muddling around about why won't Oscar do a mutual interest with him but also already having admitted that he's not good at taking the role that he needs to and pulling Oscar along into his social life the way Carlos, Daniel, Max etc have always done with him - all while Oscar is oblivious and doesn't think anything is even wrong ! and oh boy, Oscar being too literal and not being the type to be pushy ends up assuming he's doing the right thing by not trying to invite himself along to anything with Lando!
like, this is how it goes! if you want the whole bromance catering precisely to your ship needs OR you're hunting for huge drama and simmering resentments that turn into huge drama then this is NOT the place for you lasfgalfg
don't get me wrong I eat up the bromances and the doomed drama partnerships too but I just don't find them worth writing all these stupid posts about like I do w landoscar bc those partnerships are what you see is what you get. apparently what gets me going is The Yearning and The Miscommunication.
#inchreplies#landoscar#twinklaren#mctwinks#apparently ppl are posting wank in the main tags so I'm sticking this in there for counterbalance saflgjsal#mine
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Bumping into Omega's crush🥰😉
I take it's a follow up to this ask? 😊 Meeting Omega's hot crush wouldn't go as you think it would, though it's hilarious in a different kind of way.
A fallen crush
Grain of Truth Masterlist
alpha!Steve Rogers x omega!female reader
warnings: none really; Steve being possessive; mention of sexy stuff; also alpha Steve is a warning, since he drives a girl stupid 😜
Steve's eyebrows drew in a confused frown as he watched a faint scowl twist your beautiful face, which just seconds ago shone with a bright smile.
This was not the reaction he would've expected.
No, quite the opposite. There should be that glow and sparkles in your eyes, like when he first told you about taking you to the movie premiere and post movie VIP party.
A movie with your annoying star crush, Ari Levinson.
He'd gladly not do it; not only to avoid watching you drool over some actor (even if Steve himself considered him a good one), but because Steve wasn't a fan of big events where he had to dress up.
But he knew it would make you happy and no force - even his possessiveness - could stop him from making your dreams come true.
So when Natasha landed the gig as a fight choreographer for the movie, which then allowed her a VIP pass to the premiere, she offered it to Steve, knowing how much you liked Levinson. Steve was certain she did it mostly to annoy him, surprising you was an additional bonus.
You were so excited to go that it melted away even Steve's own grumpy approach.
Then you were introduced to Ari Levinson and Steve watched, in preparation for having to fucking fight an A-lister, as you shook hands with him and exchanged smiles.
However, when Levinson finally moved away to talk with someone else, your pretty face lost the brightness Steve expected to see at least for the whole night.
"What's up, sweet brat?" He asked, tugging you closer to him.
"Nothing," you shrugged, pretending to look around in curiosity.
"Nothing, sure." Steve was having none of it. "You're at a movie premiere, which you were very excited for. You met your stupid celebrity crush, who held your hand far too long and I didn't even rip his head off. Shouldn't that make you happy?"
"I am happy!" You huffed, but your tone and your glare said otherwise.
"Mhm, yes, you're radiating a happy hissy fit." Steve snorted and pulled you with him a few steps back, into a darkened corner of the party hall.
"So what is it, really?" His voice softened slightly.
"Nothing, just-" you bowed your head, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth- "I just thought it would be different."
"How so?" Steve wondered if there was something about this event that bothered you, or if you felt disappointed that your crush didn't fall head over heels for you.
Which, on one side, was good, because otherwise Steve would beat the guy. On the other side, Steve himself didn't get how someone couldn't see how perfect you are.
When you lifted your head up, it wasn't to confess some sad discomfort, but to snap at him in annoyance:
"I thought I would want him!"
Steve blinked. Now completely confused, but also sensing a wave of possessive anger that threatened to grow if you ever mentioned wanting another man.
"Excuse me?"
"Ugh! It's all your fault!" You poked at Steve's chest.
"Ari Levinson was the hottest Greek God. And yeah, he's still fucking hot. I admit that. He is attractive." You ranted in a heated, though hushed tone.
"But I wanted him. I used to imagine him. And now? Now there's zero lust. Absolute zero. Like my pussy is dead for anyone that's not you, you stupid bossy alpha!"
Steve stared at you for a long moment; at your eyes sparking with the force of a lightning, your cute nose scrunched up in a scowl, your lips parted and teeth bared.
A thin line of propriety separated you from being bent over the nearest table and having the attitude spanked out of you.
Steve's hand moved up your back, until he gripped the back of your neck. He leaned down, lips brushing the shell of your ear.
"It better be dead for anyone that's not me, or they're dead."
A shiver trickled down your spine at his growl. You went pliant in Steve's hands, knees going weak.
"You have bad movie lines," you snorted.
"I don't need any lines to have you begging for my knot." Steve's other hand slipped along the slit in your dress.
"Now," his fingers dipped beneath the fabric and between your thighs, "do you want to do it somewhere here, at the party, so your fallen crush can hear it? Or do you want to be a good girl and scram for me at home?"
#ktficworld#grain of truth#alpha!steve rogers x omega reader#alpha!steve rogers x omega female reader#alpha steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers imagine#ari levinson is mentioned#and he is a greek god even if we cream for Steve lol
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Chimera and Cassandra!
In my rewrite, they’re both Lunarian , aka Deliosians (the actual name that most of them use to refer to themselves as)
Cassandra does indeed use Valtor’s influence to get them a higher ranking, in fact, the highest ranking one could get under Solarian rule.
Chimera is just a pawn in that, and although isn’t enthusiastic, is non the less shunned into obedience by their mother.
Info on their general storyline, content within my lore, and why I drew them Cassandra with a different skin tone and Chimera with a different hair texture below!
Cassandra ends up tanning to pass as more Solarian since they have an ethnic ancestry from those who stayed underground on Lunaria, which in my thing, results in them tending to have a paler complexion as well as increasing the likelihood for a paler hair color. Blond is considered a Solarian trait by those from Solaria, although the lightness of it would be considered Lunarian. Cassandra can just pass it off as being the result of some “impure Ancestry” though and that she’s mainly Solarian because,, the color of her hair, you see? Blond! And her iris color (also Lunarian, but she can claim the paleness is because of the small Lunarian part “tainting” it and resulting in phenotypic traits being less intense in hue) and that combined with her tan, she can prove she is Mostly Solarian,, right????
Spoiler alert: she’s totally 100% Lunarian.
In my thing, Stella will realize fairly quickly that Chimera is not someone who has much choice in this. On top of not being a willful participant, they hate pretty much everything about it. They straighten their hair because it’s easier than curling it to the 3c and various 4 texture curls that Solarian’s can have, but they still hate it. They refuse to tan or add glimmers or contacts to change their eyes. They don’t want to. Why should they?
Cassandra allows it, VERY begrudgingly. She can blame it all on Chimera’s father anyway (he had an ancestry from those who lived above ground hilariously enough, meaning his skin tone and hair color were darker overall, and he could’ve passed better as Solarian if he wanted to ((he didn’t for obvious reasons. Fuck Solarian Imperial rule.)) but shhhh he’s not in the political sphere there’s no reason for that information to pop up ever).
Even with all of this though, when all of this stuff is said and done, Stella can’t even really blame Cassandra.
For Cassandra, yes it is an attempt at a power grab, but, Stella also kind of Gets It.
“Well,, I can’t really blame her for this at the end of it all. I understand why she would want that power. How else would she get it? She’s Lunarian.”
She’s still pissed at her for doing what she could to get rid of her obviously and she thinks she’s a shitty mom, but the actual goal of trying to get on the throne? Stella goes, “well I think it’s fair to see why she would want more power. It’s not like they have much compared to me. To Solarians.”
And people are pissed she’s saying this, it was cute she was trying to play Dress Up and shit (how they referred to her connecting to her heritage from her mother, wearing actual Deliosian garb and paying respect to the Moons equally as much as the Suns). But she’s taking this seriously? Cassandra was just another power hungry Lunarian trying to get into court in a higher position. They’ve always wanted more than they have, say the Solarians in power.
Stella’s response? It’s because what they have isn’t equal.
The rest of the panel she’s speaking to during the court session: well,, I mean, that’s not the same as wanting equality-
Stella: why not? Because you’ve refused to give them independence. This wouldn’t be an issue if you did that. Or are you actually going to concede and give them equal representation?
The panel:…..
Stella ends it by pointing out she’s just as much Lunarian as she is Solarian. The panel hates it.
Stella and Chimera end up as sisters when everything is done, with Stella and Chimera referring to each other as such, and Chimera becomes one of the loudest people and a head representative for the Delios Independence Movement.
Cassandra is still in court sessions as a political figure, but is given shit for being such an ass to Stella and being seen as a shitty mom, forcing her daughter into this and using her mainly for a political pawn. It’s too soon to let her continue to hold influence though after the Valtor incident the others present decide, and she’s kicked out for a while. She’s still shit talked for the reasons previously mentioned, and for being a Lunarian that dared to want power, according to the Solarian Imperialists in court.
Stella invites her back after a time. Stella appreciates her thoughts on how to make things better for those of Delios because she knows Cassandra will never hold back on her real thoughts and feelings. Chimera and Cassandra don’t really talk after everything for a while, but eventually things do get better, and they do resume regular correspondence and communication. They’ll never be super close, but they know they can rely on each other when it counts.
#winx club#winx#stella winx club#stella winx#winx stella#chimera winx#winx chimera#winx club chimera#winx club Cassandra#winx Cassandra#Cassandra winx#lore#world building#winx club redesign#winx redesign#winx reboot#winx club reboot#winx redo#winx club redo#winx club rewrite#winx rewrite#winx club remake#winx remake#illustration#digital art#procreate#artisrs on tumblr
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Yeah yeah TNT trap but one bit of the stream that absolutely fascinated me was the neighbours solidarity between Ren Iskall and Beef. Ren and Beef freaking out over Iskall running back and targeting False if they ever let sight of him. Ren's brain having dived into a "it's us against them" mentality and being anxious around the mountain people because of course he does that, it’s his favourite hermit’s life on the line. Of course he would see as some sort of war even though nothing happened. Ren naming their voice chat group something boring and nondescript like “neighbourhood planning” so no one would join. He’s both still Ministering and keeping up with the theatrics by pretending to be in a so painfully boring meeting. Neighbourhood mafia boys trying to kill Bdubs (for False). Iskall being like lmao you guys are stupid. Lol. Anyways.
And it was so funny how when the trap was done, they were like ahhaha lol see you guys later. Or never. We never knew each other.
AND THEN BDUBS LOGGED ON.
Which naturally freaked everyone out. And what was fucking funny is that other people like Grian, Joe, and Hypno were online and aware of the scheme. They even made references to it in chat. Grian and Joe at least were watching Ren’s stream, because of course he was streaming a top secret operation (and Beef later was like WHY ARE YOU EVEN STREAMING and Ren was like 🥺 this is why I’m a bad reaper). But I don’t think anyone snitched. Everyone acted normal, if not nosy.
The part of the stream that charmed me and gave everyone the impression of “oh, we’re REALLY in it now” was when Ren was alone in his Gigahut and someone whispered to him about Bdubs being on. And those three neighbourhood members met up in Ren’s hut and just sat there panicking and talking about Bdubs. It was so tense. They were the image of three scared whimpering people huddled together on a sofa in the relative safety of their neighbourhood (far away from Bdubs’ trap). (On a side note, I’m always glad when builds are somehow the backdrop for dramatic and tense moments because the build instantly feels lived in and the space feels used. Like there’s a core memory attached to the build now.)
And in the end, they decided to venture out to spy on Bdubs. Which they did for an hour. With spyglasses and crouching. And Ren, good old Ren, was pushed centerstage because he was the second reaper to ever exist and still hadn’t gotten a kill AND he was dead set on supporting his False, and since it was the final two, Bdubs has to go.
Watching the hermitchat go by while those three were intensely studying Bdubs like a nature documentary was hilarious. Seemingly nondescript discussions. The trio panicking and then Grian sent out “have faith”, which might be in reference to G’s own fishing thing but the trio took it as a double message for their own plan (since G was watching the stream). All the whispering. It’s killing me. And False logging on, mostly unprotected (because they were all away!!) and Cleo being like yayy I have no allegiance to False I’ll blow up whatever <3 And False saying she needed a miracle and those three were like WE ARE TRYINGGG (False was aware the three were trapping). Ren’s refusal to say something in chat because he’s a red name and he’s tense.
Ren had to be the one to activate the trap (even though Beef was the one who suggested it and Iskall laid out the redstone). SO the other two had to leave him alone while they engaged Bdubs in discussion so Ren could sneak in and blow them up. Our poor reaper had to fly solo with 2.9k people on his stream. “It’s just you and me, chat”. He’s sat there for three hours. He’s missing dinner.
AND BEEF YELLING AT REN TO ACTIVATE THE TRAP WAS SO STRESSFUL. Even when the ruse was up, and even when Beef and Iskall were like hahaha Ren you SUCK so bad, Ren continued with his last shred of hope and absolute last shred of dignity. He lied. And Beef was probably like 👀 Ren hasn’t given up yet! Gotta distract Bdubs more!
I haven’t watched much Beef before this but now I’m quite charmed with him. He’s great with improv, fucking hilarious to bounce off with, and kept calm and steady throughout the operation. I love how him and Iskall had to hold Ren back from charging in like a madman and blowing himself up because doggy self sacrificial tendencies. Beef was the brains and common sense. And I love how supportive he was of Ren the entire time.
🥺 Beefrenskall. The trappers. The neighbours. Flying high their banner for False. Wanting to be a miracle for her. 🥺🥺🥺
#hermitcraft#rendog#iskall85#vintagebeef#false’s soldiers out there panicking and dying while false was having a nice dinner probably
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Okay so consider!!!
Yandere platonic Geralt!! Generally very cool!! Very nice!! But if you fuck up you have to deal with (what you have dubbed) the get along cuff. Which is literally him just making you sleep next to him and tying your leg to his with a bit of leather cord. It’s thin so he can easily snap it if there’s a danger, but he’ll wake up if you move it.
Also Jaskier being completely fine and okay with this would be hilarious, I would love to see you write a scenerio!! (Idk why but I picture a modern reader, like one who got dropped in the Witcher from the modern world)
I love this ask!! I also love the trope of a modern character in a medieval setting, I think it was all the ‘Modern Girl IN Middle Earth’ fanfics I read (an actual tag on ao3) so I have a weakness for it!! Also Jaskier just going ‘eh’ is so funny to me.
Warnings: forced proximity, captivity, kidnapping, some level of being infantalized, being tied to another person as a form of being restrained, future Stockholm syndrome. Jaskier is complicit, up to you whether he is also a yandere or not. Also the fact Geralt can smell emotions
“You know this could be like, an actual danger?”
You try and reason your way out of your situation, like reason has ever worked on Geralt before. He ignores you, mostly, concentrating on tying the knot around your wrist in a manner that you cannot undo the knot but it also didn’t cut off your circulation. He slips a finger under the cord, testing the knot and the cords strength, and you hear him make a satisfied rumble. You were still getting used to that, to the various sounds the Witcher made to express emotion.
“No it’s not. The cord’s thin, and if I have to fight I can snap it easily. Plus this area doesn’t normally have monsters, not this time of year.”
He stands, towering over you from you spot on the ground, near the fire, and you tilt your face up. The yellow light throws his features into a harsh countenance, makes his face all angles and scars, golden eyes reflecting the light the way a predators would as he glared down at you, scowling. You tighten your fingers in the wool cloak he had given you, so long ago, the fibers catching in your nails.
He must see something in your gaze, or maybe it’s the way you know you probably reek of anxiety right now, but his stance softens, the scowl melting away into something softer, not a smile because you knew he was still very, very upset with you, but not a harsh frown that made you feel small and stupid and like all the things he thought about you were true.
He crouches, making himself smaller next to you, and you feel your shoulders start to unwind. It was strange, being around someone who was so perceptive to your emotions, but seemingly had no clue how to address or handle them, beyond his own instincts as a Witcher and his limited interpersonal skills. His very limited interpersonal skills.
Seriously. You were pretty sure the guy only had two friends.
“You’re going to try and run again. Maybe not tonight, but I clearly can’t trust you to behave without me keeping my eye on you at all times. Since I can’t do that while I’m asleep, this is the solution.”
He motions to the thin leather cord, and you scowl, face twisting into something you know is ugly but doing it anyways. He wouldn’t be intimidated, you knew, he seemed to view you as some helpless kid, even though you were a fully grown adult who had been attending college.
“You wouldn’t have to watch me if you just let me go, Geralt. You can’t… you can’t just not let someone go home, that’s not right.”
You snap, fingers burying further into the cloak to stave off the chill that was only getting colder, creeping up your arms and legs to your torso and making you shiver. It had just gotten dark, the little fire Geralt built crackling away and too small to provide much warmth but rapidly gaining strength, and you shiver, leaning toward the fire and away from the Witcher.
“We’re not having this conversation again. You can’t survive out there on your own.”
Your face flushes, angry, and you bury your face further into the cloak. He had a point, to some extent. You weren’t used to the world of the Witcher, with its monsters and it’s hardships, weren’t used to the roughness of medieval life and all of its struggles. You were used to the modern world, where distances could be travelled by car, not horse, and you didn’t have to endure biting cold in the winter and blazing heat in the summer.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t at least try, Geralt. What kinda person would I be if I didn’t at least try to get home?” You protest, and there’s the sound of rustling, a muttered curse. Looks like Jaskier was back with wood.
“Ah. Seems I walked into a horribly tense situation.”
Jaskier remarks, but his voice is light, not taking your predicament seriously, even as his eyes land on the tether around your wrist and Geralt’s as he feeds wood into the fire, which licks up the logs and sticks eagerly, hungry for fuel. You scowl, face buried in the cloak to hide your sour mood as much as possible. Geralt didn’t care if you were pisses off or not, he cared when you were afraid not when you were mad, but Jaskier would do everything in his power to pull you out of your bad mood. From telling stories to playing little tavern songs, he would be relentless in making sure you cracked a smile at least once, and you didn’t feel like having to endure the bards attempts to cheer you up right now.
“Is tying them to you really necessary though, Geralt? They look like a kicked pup, can’t you be a bit more lenient?”
Jaskier wheedles, and wow, he might actually be your favorite person right now. You peek up from the fold of the cloak, and he’s got a hand on a hip, shifting his weight with a concerned frown. He looks entirely disapproving of the whole thing, which makes your heart soar. Maybe he would actually be able to get Geralt to listen to him.
“They’re lucky I don’t tie them on Roach all day.” Geralt grumbles, setting up the bed rolls. You could feel every small movement he made, the motion tugging gently on the thin tether.
“Oh you grump. Stop being so rude.” Jaskier huffs, sitting next to you, and you quietly despair how easily he gave in, how quickly he yielded to what Geralt wanted to do. You tuck your face back into the cloak, dejected.
“Hey now, it isn’t all bad. There are worse places to sleep. I can recall a few of them myself.”
Jaskier’s hand lands on your shoulder, and you glare, annoyed. You didn’t want company, or comfort, or any of it. You wanted one thing, and it was something that the both of them were denying you.
Jaskier, because he was Jaskier, seemingly didn’t notice. Which wasn’t the greatest.
“Yeah, sure, I guess. Never slept tied to somebody, though.” You say pointedly, and the annoyed rumble Geralt gives is almost worth it. Sharp gold eyes narrow at you slightly, before Geralt huffs, turning back to his task.
“I have! Well, it was more I had been knocked unconscious, but it still applies, I think! And those ropes were rather coarse, my wrists were aching for days!” Jaskier recalls. “Geralt had to rescue me, it was quite the adventure. I wrote a song about it, at some point, although I never published it. I really should rework that song, actually, come to think of it.”
He rambles, his voice filling the tense silence between you and Geralt, and you feel your shoulders start to relax. He was good at that, chattering to fill the silence that would drag on for hours between the two of you if it wasn’t for him. You sigh quietly, leaning into the warm hand clasped on your shoulders as the fire grows in strength, the bedrolls almost fully prepared.
“Alright. Jaskier, you take first watch, and I’ll take over in an hour or so.” There must not be many monsters around, you think, for Geralt to be so comfortable letting Jaskier take watch. Jaskier nods, slipping away your side as Geralt approaches.
“Not a problem! I was feeling wired tonight anyways, a few more hours though and I should be able to sleep well enough.” Jaskier agrees amicably. “Although I am a bit surprised, you normally insist on first watch.”
“Wanna get (Y/N) down.” Geralt huffs, and Jaskier nods.
“Fair enough, I suppose. They are criminally lacking in the sleep department, they’re beginning to get bags, poor thing.”
You scowl at Jaskier, annoyed.
“I’ve had these since middle school, first of all, not my fault I have insomnia.” You scowl, and jerk when Geralt all but drags you to the bed roll, barely waiting for you to finish talking.
“Hey!” You protests, annoyed, but he’s too busy ‘getting you settled’ as he liked to call it. Fussing over the blankets and the best roll, making sure your body was protected from the harsh winds that even the fire couldn’t stave off.
“Jaskier, stop keeping them up.” Geralt grumbles, sounding more tired than annoyed. He drags you closer, and it must be a Witcher thing to radiate heat like a furnace, because he was chasing off the cold without even trying, the same arm that you were tied to securing you against his chest.
“Pretty sure I can sleep on my own.”
You snark, and Geralt rolls his eyes.
“Not for the next week you aren’t, if that. Now go to bed.”
You scowl, glaring up at him. With the blanket over you, the fire, and the heat radiating off his body, you were tired, sure. But not tired enough not to say something, not when you were being treated like an idiot who couldn’t do anything for themselves.
“You can’t just- Geralt this isn’t right, and you know it. You can’t just- keep me here!”
You protest. Arguing with Geralt was much like arguing with a wall, honestly. Stubborn and just as likely to listen to you as the bricks that made up the walls of your old college.
But walls could come down. You just had to get through to him, make him realize that what was doing wasn’t going to work. You weren’t strong enough or fast enough to escape him, not without some clever plan or tricks up your sleeve, and you were pretty sure that an Olympic level athlete would still have issues trying to outpace him. So your only hope was getting him to listen.
It was a fragile hope, but it was the only hope you had.
“We’re not talking about this right now. Go to sleep.”
Geralt grumbles, and you open your mouth again. The warning rumble in his chest cuts you off, and you swallow.
The sound was exactly that. A warning. Geralt had never hurt you before, not really, but whenever he got mad things were miserable. Jaskier would be irritated with you for ‘putting Geralt in a mood’ as he put it, and you would be without the bard’s chattering to fill the heavy silent between you and Geralt. Not to mention the awkwardness of being forced to ride atop Roach with Geralt, the silence thick with tension between the two of you, or the way you would hope desperately for the day to end so you could go to sleep.
No, it was better to keep the Witcher happy. For all parties.
“Alright. Good night.” You finally mutter, and he sighs, the tension leaving his body. You feel his torso loosen, relaxing behind you, and you feel your hand shaking, just slightly. Or a little more than slightly. Your stomach twists, and Geralt sighs.
“I know you don’t understand. But you’ll realize this is what’s best for you.” He says it like it’s supposed to be an assurance, smoothing a hand over your hair like you’re a particularly fussy child, and you consider, for a second, twisting and biting that hand. Driving your teeth deep enough to draw blood and make him listen to you, for once.
You don’t, mainly because you know he would just move it fast enough your teeth would just snap at empty air.
You close your eyes. With the almost stifling heat behind you, and the too-heavy weight of the cord on your wrist that logically shouldn’t feel as heavy as it did, sleep does not come easy. Eventually, though, you feel your consciousness slip away into oblivion.
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One of the many things that I've been doing instead of writing are these damn manwha binges and Villain To Kill is literally so funny. The comic premise is straightforward action, think Tokyo Ghoul meets Solo Leveling - local Genetically Superpowered Superhero Cop working for corrupt Hero Organization gets #betrayed and #murdered and is reincarnated into the body of a Genetically Superpowered Villain Teenager so now he has to join up with all the other villain superpower people to get justice.
It's so 5/10. Cassian is extremely OP and the story isn't well-written enough to pull that off well. The worldbuilding is so incredibly nonsensical and weak that it falls apart if you think about it for more than five minutes (tried to write fic for it and failed because I would have had to rework the entire world - which, I could have, but that's a lot of effort for Villain to Kill). The plot is mostly any OP action hero plot where guy gets increasingly powerful by fighting increasingly powerful guys. Cassian himself has almost nothing going on internally, to the point of elegance. And it is somehow the gayest manwha I've ever read.
It's the fucking character designs. And like its narrative but it's the fucking 100/10 character designs. The entire cast's design and characters slam. There's not that much depth but we don't care. You know if we don't like somebody if they look vaguely straight, and you know that we like somebody if they look like they were set to tumble dry in the queerness washing machine. The (great!) women are high femme or hard butch. The corrupt institution assassinated a man Cassian loved and framed & murdered him, at which point he was adopted by a rag-tag bunch of flamboyant homosexuals deemed unacceptable and undesired by society who all teamed up and decided to villainize society in exclusively funny ways and spend most of their time gossiping or hacking the Pentagon. An AFAB character dresses as a man and goes by he/him pronouns half the time for no good reason. Cassian is physiologically incapable of thinking about anything but violence so the heartwarming found family scenario's going over his head, but his Painfully Het Hero Foil Indoctrinated Into Homophobia caught the found family ball and now he's dancing in their gay bars and dressing in drag. There's only a few characters who are explicitly gay but this is gayer than that.
I talked a while back about how important a decent supporting cast is to a good story, and this is yet again good proof. Looking at this, I think I'd go further and say - it's an action manwha, we're reading it for a reason, we don't need character-driven story arcs or really complex characters. I think it's just charisma. A story can go really far on characters with charisma.
TV Shows that are carried on the lead actor (Columbo I love you) - it's because the actor has charisma. You watch it to see the actor hang out being himself. That's way way harder to do in fiction, but I think that "a complex character" isn't necessarily a "charismatic character". I'd rather have a cast of only charismatic characters rather than only complex ones. A story of any genre needs a strong cast of charismatic characters. They can be deep or they can just be chaotic lesbians. Charisma invests the reader in the story and the characters. It's simple but it's really powerful. And it is fucking hilarious how sometimes all you need to do on that front is "Rupaul this shit".
I can't genuinely recommend Villain to Kill and this is not a recommendation. But random stuff always interests me like this, and I really had no idea that I would read 120ch of a manwha bc the designs fuck so hard. Also, like, this is queerest manwha I've ever read. Somehow. Fucking somehow.
#I have never given a shit about a supporting cast manwha character but#Driver I love you every time you're on panel im like ':D DRIVER!'#i'll tag it#villain to kill#for visibility but this rly isn't intended as a criticism#It feels like we're finally getting canon homosexuality but in a lot of media canon gays have the queerness drained out of them#what's gayer? gay sex? or being ostracized by society for being cooler and sexier and more interesting than they are?#even the Hero Cops we like are kinda fruity just in a neoliberal way#my asks#my posts
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