Who in Elephant is the most unexpected person to have any piercings? Who has the most, or the 'weirdest' one? And, of course, who has the most ostentatious jewellery, regardless of where it is or whether anyone actually sees it.

@brighteyedbadwolf and I share a headcanon that once he started running out of tattoo room, Renji got into body piercings in a big way, and also learned the value of moderation so he's gotten some interesting piercings done, but has learned to savor them and only get one done every few years.

His most recent ornament is a tongue piercing and 9/10ths of the fun has been seeing how long he can keep it a secret. It's surprisingly easy- he's picked up Byakuya's habit of not moving his lips much when speaking at an interpersonal distance, and only raising his voice when people are actually far enough away to warrant yelling.

Several people noticed immediately but didn't say anything because it's not, strictly speaking, their business what Renji recreationally does with his body unless he needs medical attention for it, and because Retsu also wants to see how long Renji can keep it a secret and what the fallout will be like when it inevitably gets out.

Ikkaku was the first to call him out because his little kohai was looking just a bit to smug about something, and when he refused to say what, Ikkaku took a shot in the dark that squarely hit its target. Ikkaku is now also seeing how long before it really gets out, but has perhaps been selectively hastening the process by telling certain people.

Shuuhei didn't call Renji out, but during a lieutenant's meeting, Shuuhei heard the rather distinctive *click* of metal on Renji's teeth, and fixed him with a nonjudgmental, but extremely knowing stare.

Renji is... pretty sure Byakuya hasn't noticed yet. He's hard to read at the best of times, and Renji is privy to the bizarre oceans of stuff Byakuya has somehow remained ignorant of, like dinosaurs. He's sure his boss will have something to say about workplace-appropriate attire when he finds out.

Pretty sure.

Byakuya is also not a snitch- he saw Ichigo's hollow mask transformation and kept his mouth shut tighter than a bear trap about it.

Actually.

Byakuya keeps his mouth shut all the time both figuratively and literally. Almost doesn't move his lips when speaking, and only opens his mouth maybe half an inch, even when he raises his voice. Renji has never actually seen his molars, let alone most of his boss and prospective brother-in-law's tongue.

Could he..? No, that's much too scandalous for him.

...right?

Rukia has managed to remain oblivious to not only all of Renji's hardware thus far, but is actually ignorant of the lower 56% of Renji's ink as well. As emotionally close as they are, she doesn't actually spend that much time in close physical proximity to him anymore, and her mental image of Renji is about six major changes out of date.

She *has* noticed that Byakuya gets a small dessert- something soft and meant to be savored, like a single slice of cheesecake, every year on April 6th, which isn't the anniversary of anything she can find. Nobody he knows was born, got married or died on that day, she knows he and Hisana started "courting" in the middle of July so it's not that, and it doesn't seem to be a sad date for him- if anything, he seems ever-so-slightly pleased, perhaps even a bit smug, whenever he sits down in the garden and takes three hours to eat that tiny wedge of cake. According to the house staff, he's been doing this for over fifty years now, and this befuddles her, but Byakuya is a singularly inscrutable man sometimes, and she is not about to deny him whatever small, harmless joy this is.

For his part, Byakuya is very pleased with how well his two stainless steel studs have held up over the years, enjoys taking some time to really savor the feeling of them by taking a long time to enjoy a bit of dessert on the anniversary he got them, and is still deciding on the funniest time to ask Renji where he got his piercing done, so that they may compare notes.

He's tentatively considering the day after Renji and Rukia inevitably announce that they are expecting their first child- a date some time off as the two are not, strictly speaking, engaged yet, but Byakuya is as certain of that event's coming as he is of the sunrise- both because it will be a humorously long time to have kept that secret, and Byakuya estimates that at that point, Renji will be in the first throes of impending fatherhood panic, and could probably use a distraction.

Byakuya is very fond of his prospective brother-in-law, and thinks this is a good way to demonstrate his affection.

Cirrus would be a kickass lawyer

dazatsu coffee shop au

WELL APPARENTLY NOW NAT CAN BE THE LEADER I GUESS!!! LIKE THERE WAS SO MUCH SHIFT IN THE DYNAMIC FROM EP 8 TO 9 LIKE HOLY SHIT!!!!

Spawn but it’s Jason Todd after getting killed by Joker.

are we still doing this because i have a late submission

meet cute at your local żabka

english translation and notes under the cut 💗💗💗

żabka (froggy) is the name of an extremely popular corner shop chain in Poland, it's literally everywhere

My translation is not always literal but sometimes vibes based, like in PL version Sanji doesn't use "jesus" in the second page, but the expression "ja pierdole" doesn't have an english equivalent that would make sense in this contex, literally it means "I fuck" lmao

I now see I mixed up prepositions when Sanji asks Luffy for the sauces, uh oh ANYWAY

I also didn't translate the cans Zoro brings at the end, the writing on the cans says "potwór" which means "monster", so yup these are basically monster energy drinks but translated literally hence the capitalized P as the logo. Why does he drink that instead of some Polish ass beer? Good question, I just enjoy calling them drinks Potwór, and dont know much about beer

nothing further to add except this:

gale: i love you.

nodecontext: with the warmth of having said this a thousand times before.

More doodles (ft Xianle Trio mostly Feng Xin)

spotlight stolen yet again

later:

dw he got apollo to wear the shirt eventually

i just can't believe that oda fucking create sanji, a stereotypical ladies man who simps to an embarrassing degree for women while having his hackles comically raised around everyone he perceives as a man - and most notably butting heads with the more obvious ~manly man~ of the crew. haha, classic anime running gag, the kind that gets obnoxious at times but still makes you laugh.

AND THEN, like a billion chapters later, motherfucker steeples his fingers and goes "soooooooo... what makes a person Like That?"

and the answer is that he grew up in fucking Toxic Masculinity, The Kingdom. the answer is that he was always Different, in a way other guys instinctively perceived as weak, and that made him the target of visceral scorn and violence. the answer is that he was sensitive, sweet, caring, nurturing - feminine-coded traits which are only valued by patriarchy insofar that they're performed by women in service of men. the answer is that in a kingdom comprised almost entirely by violent men, the only ones who were ever kind to him, the only safety he ever had, were a girl and a woman.

so cooking is for women and servants, it makes you less of a man. only women will ever really value you for your passions and dreams. women are also actively hurt by the way the world works, they are unsafe unless they comply with men's violence, and you have to protect them.

(men will always know what you are, and they will hurt you if you let them.)

and even after he leaves... at baratie he is cherished and respected, but even that is an extremely masculine environment. we don't talk about our feelings, we don't let our guard down, the only love is tough love. when he tries to express his artistry and express himself through his cooking, rather than just filling orders and making money, he gets mocked.

so here is a man who will not raise a hand to a woman, because he rejects the masculinity he was raised with and refuses to become yet another man subjecting women to violence. he is desperate for women's attention and affection because it's SAFE, it's the only kind he can trust. other men are potential threats and must be treated as such. he must at all times be snarky, tough, Not Feminine, because to be perceived otherwise is to be powerless, to be hurt.

like y'all. the queer coding of it all? the overtly feminist themes? the active rejection of toxic masculinity and the way it's shown to be directly tied to imperialism? what the fuck.

cottage boy!eren chops the wood and lights the fire for you and he to keep warm at night. he huddles you close to him while you sleep. the first time he wraps his arm around your waist and gently flushes against you, your face burns the entire night.

cottage boy!eren is so strong. he doesn’t just chop the wood; he lifts the tree roots to bring ‘em closer. he lifts you at the waist, unprompted, and laughs when your fingers nearly tear into his cotton shirt to keep a hood of him.

cottage boy!eren plays chase with you in the woods. you love the rush of wind in your hair, through your clothes—and eren loves being it.

cottage boy!eren is such an affectionate drunk. he splits a bottle with you and his reservations dwindle to near nothing. his hands caress your ankles, as they rest over his lap. his cheeks tint real rosy, a man-eating grin slapped over his face. he thumbs at your arms, your shoulders—sweetly strumming your body, and barely even aware of it.

cottage boy!eren is such a handyman. fixes pipes, cleans with you, cooks with you. builds your kitchen from scratch and paints it all in your favorite colors.

cottage boy!eren is a bleeding heart. openly stares (gawks) at you, kisses your fingers, your wrists, your palms. he finds his hands are almost as expressive as his mouth is. but boy, the way he speaks—soft and low, it swirls in your tummy.

cottageboy!eren with hearts swirling in his eyes, follows your swift little steps around the room as you look for the book you’d been reading. you’d sat it next to him just a second ago. he promises to hand it back if you tell him what it’s about.

cottage boy!eren doesn’t even realize how alone the two of you really are until you mention it for the third time, on your third day away. and then he becomes insufferable, a menace unto himself and you. he enjoys basking in the sunlight of your attention, is warm with your laugh spreading across his ears.

cottageboy!eren picking flowers for you, brings em home to set the table with for dinner. you help him plant some lemon and lime trees, help him plant tomatoes and keep it all watered.

cottage boy ‘ren loves the fields, the animals. you cross a few deer every now and then. the look on your face each time makes his heart stutter.

sharing a bath with your cottage boy, his big body pressed tight between your hips. <3

@neilimfinejosten said coffee shop au last month so you’ll never guess what I’ve been thinking about

A few thoughts under the cut!

Andrew works at a coffee shop in a college town, so far with all the foxes except Aaron, and Neil’s been far away on the run. I’ve been putting Robin in this one and I bet Seth hangs around the shop for Allison. Aaron will pick up a shift or two but mostly he’s focusing on school.

Anyway one day in a cold winter a new guy comes into the shop looking to warm up, and Andrew just happens to be working the register (rare). It’s hard to tell with the mask, but this guy doesn’t seem to be much older than him or the team, and Andrew can catch glances of bandages and band-aids under his clothes.

He becomes a regular through winter, but none of the baristas can decide on his name because he gives a different one every time he comes in.

one thing about ik is that she will always reach out

Fandom is so nice to Jiang Cheng's inferiority complex because in reality every single thing he gets accused of is something Wei Wuxian is better at than him.

Jiang Cheng killed Wei Wuxian? Nope. Didn't even get close. Wei Wuxian's own spirits tore him apart before jc could even get there. wwx:1 jc:0

Jiang Cheng tortures people? We get two and a half rumours and a mention from jin ling that jc has 'captured' demonic cultivators before, but who is also apparently confident that just letting wwx run off will kill the issue even though those earlier rumours said ~no one who sandu shengshou captured was ever seen again~

The word jiang cheng uses when he tries to talk big game about 'beating the truth' out of Wei Wuxian's is a word that carries the context of pestering someone to do their homework. Doesn't exactly strike fear into my heart.

Wei Wuxian? Excellent at torture. A prodigy. Did you fucking see what he did to Wen Chao? Dude didn't have fingers anymore because wei wuxian made him eat them. He ripped out his hair, burned his skin off, and then stalked him for several days just to prolong the pain. He forced Wang Lingjiao to bite Wen Chao's dick off and then made her shove a stool leg down her own throat! 10/10, no notes. Absolutely horrifying.

Meanwhile Jiang Cheng's idea of torture is getting a dog to bark at Wei Wuxian for a few seconds. Weak, unoriginal, I bet fairy was literally wagging her tail the whole time. 2-0

Jiang Cheng made the entire cultivation world believe Wei Wuxian was up to no good on the burial mounds and ultimately orchestrated his downfall? lol. lmao, even

It's a big thing in certain corners of the fandom to really zoom in one one particular phrase at the end of chapter 73, where after wwx and jc have their staged duel to make the world believe they hate each other jiang cheng tells everyone wwx has defected and become "a public enemy'' or "an enemy to the cultivation world" or whatever the translation you're familiar with decided upon.

(As an aside, something I really like about this line is that the last half of it is almost exactly the same, like verbatim, as what wwx told him to say. like, the chapter is really hammering home just how much jc is speaking from a script here. wwx tells jc to say "今后魏无羡无论做出什么事，都与云梦江氏无关." and jc says "今后无论此人有何动作，一概与云梦江氏无关" the only meaningful difference is that he says 'this person' instead of wwx's name)

I've seen it said that this bit, the use of 'enemy' was said without wei wuxian's approval, that jc deviated from the script just to hurt his ex-shixiong for leaving him. And that this is what caused all the other clans to turn against wei wuxian. Regardless of if this is what jc and wwx discussed, or if jc had malicious motivations for it (considering my conclusions above, you can guess where i fall) it doesn't really matter, because the novel tells us when the clans completely freak out and become convinced wei wuxian is out to get them (though of course they've been wringing their hands about it since the literal day wwx ran off with the wen, months before jiang cheng visited) very neatly in chapter 75!

It's when they find out about Wen Ning.

And how do they find out about Wen Ning?

Because Wei Wuxian took him on nighthunts! And they kicked ass!

...Wei Wuxian, my man, why are you on nighthunts??? Why are you showing off your incredibly cool sentient fierce corpse buddy, who is way better and stronger than all the other fierce corpses, in front of the whole cultivation world??

Whatever his motivations (extra money, maybe?? they were strapped for crash) I can only draw the conclusion wwx had already given up on appearing calm or non-threatening and didn't care if the clans thought he was a threat, because they'd believe whatever they wanted anyway. Which he seems to clearly be aware of the whole time.

Regardless, we know that this is what created the myth of the Yiling patriarch. It's literally when the title first shows up!

Even if you really believe jc was secretly plotting against wwx in chapter 73, he's clearly doing a shit job of it because nothing he said made anywhere near as big an impact as this. Flopped!

The other point people use to argue Jiang Cheng caused wei wuxian's downfall is Jin Guangyao's speech in Guanyin temple about how jiang cheng could have saved wei wuxian if only he stood by him. Setting aside that jin guangyao is trying to get into jiang cheng's head here, and isn't necessarily saying what he really believes (though it very well might be! who knows with a character like jgy. assuming he's always lying is just as misleading as assuming he's always saying the truth) the fact is, if you read the speech closely, what he's talking about is not the 'public enemy' line, he's talking about the bond between them. The fact that people wanted wei wuxian out of yunmeng jiang, because the two were too powerful together.

He's talking about that one time Jiang Cheng very publically kicked wei wuxian out of the sect!

Which, unbeknownst to Jin Guangyao, was in fact Wei Wuxian's idea the whole time.

final score: 3 for you wei wuxian, you go wei wuxian! And nothing for Jiang Cheng bye.

just saw barbie (2023) and i have soooo many thoughts. for one, i totally understand the criticism that some people have about the lack of diversity with the presentation of “womanhood” aka not acknowledging the hardships of women that don’t conform to the stereotypical presentation of gender. ive seen a few reviews which interpreted the message of the film as “womanhood means embracing and finding empowerment in pink and dress up!” and that is completely understandable as a majority of the characters presented were very stereotypically feminine. however. the overall theme that i picked up on was how damaging all expectations on gender expression are for our society. any sort of imbalance of power be it patriarchal or matriarchal is inherently dysfunctional and breeds resentment and discourages the development of healthy sustainable relationships with other people. i think it is also very important to note that the barbie world mirrored our world because mattel was solely run by men and as they had no other reference for a balanced society, their creations, the barbies, were the ruling class because the barbies were made in their image, not the idea that little girls can do or be anything they wanted. the barbies disregard ken just as they disregard women hence “no one is ever worried about ken.” the mattel executives were their own worst enemy by constraining ken to the accessory label and preventing him from developing his own identity and forming relationships with the other kens whereas the barbies were constrained to their own version of hyper-femininity because the execs have no other conception of womanhood beyond what they want to see. the movie was less about “embracing femininity” and more about “hey maybe telling people what they can or can’t be/do based on preconceived notions of gender and perfection is incredibly isolating and is ultimately the downfall of society.” the fact that the movie ended with the mattel execs still in charge, the barbie world allowing kens the “same equality as women in the real world,” and barbie leaving barbie world is incredibly powerful because it shows us how far we still have to go until we’re truly equal and that nowhere is perfect so long as that inequality exists. that being said. kate mckinnon should’ve been a masc dyke instead