I’m so thankful for the 25 months that God allowed me to breastfeed. At times it felt like the most natural thing in the world, other times it felt exhausting, there were times it hurt, times I needed space, times I loved it, times I hated it, times I laughed, times I cried, times I just wanted to pee or shower, times there was no place else I wanted to be… I am grateful for ALL of it. Encourage a Mom this week… breastfeeding is an amazing gift and sacrifice and we need to support each other throughout the journey.” @mamasdeilight beautifully said thank you for sharing your journey and encouraging other mamas throughout their journeys you’re amazing!🤍🤍🤍 #normalizebreastfeeding #breastfeeding #breastfeedingisbeautiful #love #unconditionallove #mama #momlife #motherhood #momsupportingmoms #breastfeedingweek #breastfeedingjourney #breastfed #breastfeed #breastmilk #mamasliquidgold #liquidlove #liquidgold #dropthecover #mindyourowntits #milkbar #life #normal #natural #beauty #magical #breastfeedingmom #breastfeedingsupport Repost @mamasliquidgold @wonderwombman @wonderwombman2 #wonderwombman #mamasliquidgold https://www.instagram.com/p/ChIAj1CASme/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Night Time Routine

When I found out I was pregnant, I was given a lot of advice from family. One thing that really resonated with me was creating a “night time routine”. I knew I didn’t want to be someone that had to have their kids in the bath by 7:00 and down by 7:30. (If you are that mother and it works for you, you’re doing awesome), that just wasn’t realistic for us. We have no “routine” at home and knowing my husbands job schedule alters so often, I didn’t want to be tied to a set routine. However, I did want Marleigh to have a loose routine that was consistent to let her know when it was time for bed.

My night time routine is something that I think has been the foundation for Marleigh’s good sleep skills. I might be incorrect but when we skip a bath or forget our sleep sack, I feel like she wakes up more. I never focused on the time we put her down, but more so her cues and the actual steps themselves. Today, I’m going to share with you all my night time routine. If we are home, we start her night schedule when she seems tired. This is usually sometime in between 7pm-9pm! If we are out and about, I start the routine when we get home. If we are on vacation or away from the house, I try to make the environment feel as much like home as I can and go when she is tired. I told y’all - we are really flexible. Marleigh often takes a late afternoon/early evening nap. I try not to let her fall asleep after 5pm and I entertain her to get her wiped out for bed time. Before her night time routine, we play together and get her mind stimulated so she gets really tired!

When we realize it’s time to start our night routine this is what we do:

Step 1: Nurse/ Bottle

Marleigh will show cues that she is tired so I will nurse her as much as I can. I try to make sure she is FULL. Often during this feed, she will get drowsy because she is tired. I will sit her up and switch sides! I want to make sure she eats as much as possible. I used to feed after the bath but after talking to a sleep consultant who suggested I feed first, Marleigh has slept longer in the night. She explained to me that Marleigh was associating nursing to falling asleep, therefore in the middle of the night if she woke up she would need to nurse in order to put herself back to sleep. This little switch in our routine made a world of difference. If you bottle feed, this is perfect time to give a bottle. If it were me, I would alternate who feeds the baby different nights so they get used to everyone. (I’m not a scientist or baby expert, but I feel like this would help in the long run for anyone to put them down. Don’t quote me!)

Step 2: Bath

After Marleigh is full, I put her in the bath. This is the time for her to relax in the warm water, release gas bubbles so her belly is settled, and get all cleaned up. Lavender body wash is my favorite to set the mood for calming. We have some little toys that I let Marleigh play with herself but I try to keep a calm voice when engaging with her. Some nights we definitely have her splashing and going crazy, but for the most part I try to keep a calm environment. Kids will be kids though, so if gets crazy I join the fun with her. Memories outweigh a clean bathroom!

Step 3: Baby Self Care

During this time, I give Marleigh a baby massage with lavender lotion. I put her night time diaper on, her footie pajamas, and I brush her hair (she loves this). I try to keep the mood super calm by talking very softly, humming, and giving little kisses. I only turn on a lamp so it isn’t super bright in the room. Marleigh usually wipes her eyes, pulls at her ears, and yawns during this time. This is my cue that she is ready for bed! I did my job well as a mama!

Step 4: Sleep Sack- Lay in Crib

Okay. I find the Sleep Sack so important. We use the Nested Bean Zen Sack for Marleigh! I linked it here for you to check out. They are such a wonderful company dedicated to making our lives as mamas so much easier at night. We started her with the newborn Nested Bean Swaddle but now that she is older, we transitioned her into the sack just in case she rolls. YALL, I swear by these sacks! My friend used them and introduced me and I fell in love. (Thanks Erin!!) Not only do they come in cute patterns, but the weighted center provides comfort for self-soothing. It sits on their chest, unless they are belly sleepers you can have it where it is placed on the center of their back. I highly, highly suggest you all try these sacks if your little one is having trouble at night. When I lay Marleigh in the crib in her sack, I make sure she is either drowsy but awake or wide awake. She will self-soothe herself to sleep on her own. The first week Marleigh cried and fussed for a few minutes when I put her down, but with the sack and getting used to the routine she now falls asleep like a champ with no fuss.

Tips

White Noise Machine: Some people use a white noise machine to play while their little one is asleep. I don’t use this because we never have with Marleigh and she does fine without it. If you are having trouble, it’s worth investing and trying it out. Unfortunately, I don’t have a great brand for you but I’ve heard there are many good ones on Amazon!

Pacifiers: Some babes love the comfort of a soother. I did not give Marleigh one because she would wake up when it would fall out. So, I just had her learn to sleep without it. It’s been easier for us to not have it. Again, it might be better for your babe so you can give it a try.

Book: We want to incorporate reading into our routine permanently. Some nights we will throw in a book after we have her in the sack but before we lay her down. When she gets older, this will be something we do every night. Right now it just depends on the night if we read or not. If she doesn’t seem too sleepy then I will definitely read and wait for her to get more drowsy.

Middle of the Night Wake Up: Ok, sometimes Marleigh will wake up at like 3AM. You know your child the best and I’m sure you can differentiate between hunger cry and fussy/attention cry. I usually wait 10-20 minutes and during this time Marleigh will fall asleep again on her own - usually. If I see her cry is getting stronger into a hunger cry and she is waking up, I walk in and feed her. It’s completely normal to feed 1-2 times a night when they are young. Marleigh still wakes up sometimes but her sleep stretches are growing longer and most often she sleeps through the night.

If you have questions about sleeping, regressions, swaddle and sack questions - CHECK OUT NESTED BEAN’S WEBSITE. They have so much helpful information about sleeping that will make life easier. During the four month sleep regression, I loved having them as a resource. They partner with a lot of sleep experts on Instagram that will takeover their stories and answer your questions personally! Nested bean is the one stop shop and info center for sleep. The best part is their products actually work!!! Check their website out here.

I’m not a sleep expert, nor do I know if my routine is 100% solid. I’m learning just like you are. All I can say is if you are finding yourself having issues with bedtime and sleeping through the night, this might be something for you to consider looking into. It could be you just need a slight change in your routine or a product to help make the process easier. Hope you find your sleep soon mama. Like everything, “This too shall pass”. You will get there one day but enjoy this moment now. We will miss it when they get older.

xoxo,

Jeana

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Anger is one of the most common problems in a marriage, so don't be ashamed of it. FPeople afflicted by anger knovw very well how it steals every ounce of happiness, making the goal of marital harmony feel completely out of reach. FBut once anger is conquered, you'll be overjoyed by all the love that comes rushing back into your marriage. How To Eliminate Anger? ? ? VLearn to become aware of your reactions as they are happening. You cannot stop what you are not aware of Use a reliable set of techniques and tools that you can use to stop negative reactions and feelings. Even keeping your mouth shut is a good start, but you can go further to actually stop the feelings. VEstablish this as a new pattern of behavior. Using the right tools over time will create a strong habit that automatically stops reactive anger before it starts. Find the right perspective, "When we are no longer able to change a situation... we are challenged to change ourselves." V Focus on what you can change Try expressing appreciation instead of anger ,That's because what you focus on increases, so focusing on his faults or what you're not getting actually magnifies the problem. Hear His Side of the Story, If he hasn't done something he promised, like doing the taxes that day, maybe he had a rough day at work and simply forgot. Here are three magic words for bringing back the safety and trust in your marriage: "I hear you. Does anything here sound familiar? Anything else you can add? Feel free to share more in the comments. #angrymom #dailymom #fourthtrimester #parentingishard #momlifeishard #mommemes #momstruggles #momtruths #mommyguilt #momguilt #momsupportingmoms #momsunite #momsupport #momsunited #mommyneedsabreak #momlifebelike #motherhoodquotes #motherhoodishard #newparents #newmommy #newmoms #postpartumlife #scarymommy #survivingmotherhood #tiredmom #tiredmommy #takebackpostpartum #thisispostpartum #4mumy #4mumymother https://www.instagram.com/p/CTU3LNYqA_N/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I'm so sleep, I need tired.

Article Published on Mom Culture

I used to set an alarm on my phone to get up in the morning. Now, my alarm clock is the sweetest little girl and “Oh mama” does that little girl keep me up. There is that age old saying that every expectant mother hears while pregnant: ‘Enjoy your sleep now because once the baby comes you will not get any.’ I am here to tell you – THEY ARE NOT LYING! Go to sleep while you can because when the little one comes, goodbye sleep- hello exhaustion. I know a few mama’s that have been blessed with great sleeping babies, and man do I envy them!  For me on the other hand, sleep is a thing of the past. I am now the mom that is so tired she puts her shirt on backwards and needs her morning coffee to feel she can tackle the day.

When Marleigh was first born, she had jaundice which made her super sleepy. You would think I was lucky right? Wrong. I had to feed her consistently every two hours to help with the jaundice. You would also think during the day I would sleep when she did? Wrong again. I would stay awake staring at her because I was so infatuated with my new baby, and truth be told I had to be awake to get all my errands and daily tasks completed. I would organize the house, stare at Marleigh, wake her up to feed and think next time I will nap, but then I wouldn’t. When night time came, I was bone- tired. My body was ready for sleep but I still had to set my timer and feed her every two hours.

I am not sure if I can accurately explain the sleep deprivation I experienced. There were moments I would feed Marleigh and drift off to sleep holding her. I would set her back in the crib once I realized she was no longer eating and had fallen back to sleep. I would go back to bed, set my alarm for another two hours and drift asleep. I was so exhausted that I would quickly fall into a dream state and dream that I was still feeding Marleigh. When my alarm would go off two hours later, I would wake up in a panic because she was not on me. I would look next to me on the bed and I couldn’t find her. I would literally be freaking out and then look in her crib and see her laying there sleeping peacefully. This literally happened to me constantly for the first few weeks until I could finally start letting her sleep through the night.

As time went on, and I no longer was on the every two hours schedule, I started to get more sleep (Hallelujah!) but was it good quality sleep? We would put Marleigh to bed around 9pm and she would sleep until about 2. Five solid hours of sleep! I would feed her and put her back to bed until about 6:30! Another solid 4.5 hours of sleep! Sounds great, right?! Yet, I was still not getting more sleep, even when she was sleeping longer. I could not sleep through those hours because as a mom, especially first time moms, we are consistently waking up and checking the monitor to make sure the baby is alright! Even though she was sleeping, I was not fully sleeping. I now consider myself a light sleeper because every noise has me up in two seconds.

Now, Marleigh is doing pretty well with her night time sleeping! Our fun issue is napping! Once you get one sleep pattern accomplished and settled, the next sleeping problem arises. I swear the four month sleep regression is no joke! Except our regression is happening during the day, she will just not sleep during the day. I honestly breed a non-sleeper because she refuses to go down for a nap unless I feed her and hold her the whole time. Once she is asleep, I am scared to move a muscle or she will wake up! If I try to put her in the crib, she immediately wakes up and cries. You know those videos of the parents getting in the crib and sleeping with them, yeah that just might be the next thing I try.

The sleep issues are all a phase and will get better once Marleigh gets older… well I am keeping my fingers crossed at least. I have researched so many sleep training tips, scheduling ideas, routines for night time, nap tricks, etc. I have done the research and I still have my issues. Ask me how sleep training is going? It’s not. I am just a first time mom trying to figure out how to get my sleep back! Honestly, as a mom - do we ever really get our sleep back like we used to? Maybe when she turns 18 and heads to college, I will find my sleep again. Maybe.

I finally understand the extent of sleep deprivation. I swear my pregnancy midnight wake ups were just preparing me for the rest of my life. I am that mom that gives up in the middle of the night and sneaks her baby into bed just to feed her and catch a few more minutes of sleep. I wake up in the morning and miss the refreshed feeling. I am the mom praying that my child will sleep for a few more minutes because mommy is not ready to get up yet. I live for the days my husband will take her in the morning and let me continue to sleep. I find myself chuckling to myself when I think about how the days I said I need my eight hours of undisturbed sleep. I mean in all honesty would be  grouchy without a full night's sleep, and yet here I am running on 2 hours of fulfilling sleep, a coffee, but a whole lot of love. As much as I miss my sleep, I love my late night cuddles with my little one. Even if I did breed a non-sleeper, that just means I get more hugs and quiet time with my daughter!

Now, I am off to go catch a few more minutes of sleep before my little one wakes up again!

xoxo,

Jeana Hughes

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