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winsomelychic · 4 years

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Our TTC Journey: Q & A

I am so SO excited to share this journey with you all! I have been given overwhelming amounts of well-wishes and pregnancy dust and now we just wait and see how it all goes. I am going to be very open with this whole journey in sharing my feelings, how I am going about everything, and so much more. I wanted to give you all the opportunity to ask questions and kind of get a feel for what you are wanting out of this journey. I want this to help others who are trying to conceive (TTC- many asked what that acronym was for) and be an open place to share your own experiences. No question is terrible and if I don’t feel comfortable sharing then I will find. a way to answer comfortably for you. I am putting myself out there and I will do my best to be 100% open. I had asked you guys if you had any questions and I wanted to answer them all for you. I am sitting here in bed (DON’T WORRY - this will stay PG - lol) with Glen (although he is not paying attention to me! He is too busy watching a movie!) to answer some of the question y’all send it.

How much of the journey are you going to share?

My goal is everything, well at least most things. I want to share how I am tracking my body and my cycle, taking tests and getting results, my feelings and thoughts, and just each and every part of this journey. I don’t exactly know how I am going to do that. I will probably have a mix of posts on my instagram and stories and maybe a monthly blog post to update, unless something we’re to happen where I would update more. That is kind of up in the air, but I do know I want y’all to be along for the ride.

Why did you decide to open up?

I think that many people share their pregnancy journey, but usually It is either when they are already pregnant or if they find out they are facing a fertility challenges. I thought it would be exciting to share my journey from the beginning. I don’t know what this will entail, but I think many people can relate with trying and so I thought this would be fun. I also want it to open up my community to make my platform a place for people to speak about things and get advice or talk and just express themselves if they are going through the journey too. This can often feel lonely (even though you are going through it with your partner) but us girls understand our emotions together so it kind of led me to open up.

What are you most scared of?

I think just not being able to conceive for a long time or finding out that I have trouble conceiving. There are so many resources so I try not to focus on my fears until I have to. For now, I am just having fun trying.

Will you share tests while you take them or will you share after the results?

I have thought hard about this. I think it will just depend in the moment. Sometimes I take a test just because I am hopeful and then sometimes I take one because I really am late. So, probably both. Sometimes I might take a test and tell you later and other times, I might have you sitting there with me waiting for the results.

When did you and Glen know you were ready for number 2?

I think we kind of knew we were ready when we had a pregnancy scare and then realized we were sad when the test came back negative. Glen knew he wanted our kids close in age and we are in the right mind space to have another. I think now that Marleigh is a little older and a little more independent, I am more open and ready. We have always wanted more kids too so it was kind of easy for us to decide.

Is your cycle back to normal since having Marleigh?

Not really. I do have my period each month, but it is never like a steady 28 day cycle or however it normally is. It always says I am late on my app, so I never know.

Do you guys want to know the gender and do you have one gender you’d like to have?

Yes and we will share it with you. Glen wouldn’t really care to wait or not find out right away, but I NEED to know. I do not do well with surprises and like to be fully prepared. As for what we want, Glen would say that he wants a boy. I am not really leaning either way. I love being a girl mom more than I expected and I think if we do have a boy I will be nervous cause it will be totally different than what I know. Hopefully since my sister is having a boy, I can learn a few tips from her.

Is Glen okay with you being so open?

He is shaking his head so I am going to go with yes. He kind of lets me just do my thing on the blog. I am obviously very understanding when he does want me to keep things private and he knows that this is how I process my thoughts through writing, but for the most part we have a mutual understanding of things we keep private anyways.

You mentioned you have made changes to prepare for TTC, what changes have you made for your body?

I am focusing on my eating habits, exercise routine (currently just signed up to be a coach for Beachbody), and focusing on my faith and self care to lower my stress and anxiety. Life has been a little tough with some things going on and I am really putting my faith first to help me. Stress, sleep conditions, and overall health play a big part in getting pregnant so I am just trying to be more conscious about that and do better for myself.

Do you get upset when people you know get pregnant while you are trying? How do you process emotions?

I’d be lying if I said I don’t get bummed, but I most definitely do NOT get upset. I think that is human though. I love that my friends are getting pregnant because it is such an amazing experience. I know my time will happen when it is meant to be and I have faith in that. For now, I enjoy their happiness and watching them experience it all.

I am very emotional though. So I kind of am just very open, I write and journal, and I pray. Like I have mentioned, I am not super focused on getting pregnant. I am more just letting it happen and that has helped me be not as stressed or anxious about possible getting pregnant.

Are you more nervous having number 2 than you were before having Marleigh?

Yes and No. I was nervous with “pregnancy” the first time. Now that I know some things that can happen during pregnancy (even though each one is said to be different) now I am more nervous about taking care of two babies if I do get pregnant. With your first one, your life kind of revolves around them. With number 2, you have two that you have to care for and that is a whole new issue. I guess I am just nervous for the new “unknowns”.

Will you announce you are pregnant right away?

I think so. That is part of the journey. I know my first pregnancy I was scared and wanted to wait until at least 12 weeks if not more. I think this time around though, I want to share it all.

Do you plan when you are having sex?

Nope. Not yet at least. I don’t want to start making our personal life just based on hoping for a baby. That is way to connect with your spouse emotionally and I want it to stay that way. (PS I am someone who is very awkward when it comes to the RATED R content - just FYI). So you probably won’t hear much about other than this question! HAHAH.

How are you tracking your cycles?

I use an app FLO on my phone. I also am working with AVA bracelet to help understand my body and track my cycles. I will be having a blog post all for the AVA bracelet and what I have learned from using it - so stay tuned.

Are you excited to be pregnant possibly with your sister?

YES. I am so so excited for my sister to be pregnant and we both have talked about how cool it would be to get pregnant together and have kids close together! As of now, I don’t know if that will happen but it would sure be cool for Rory (her growing baby boy) and a little one to be super close in age.

How many tests have you taken so far?

This question makes me laugh because I am someone who will take a test everyday, anyway, all day. I always think I am pregnant. However, I have only tested twice. Once for our pregnancy scare and once yesterday just because my period is “late” according to my app. Still negative (if you were wondering). I promise to keep y’all updated on the tests that truly matter.

Thank you for sending in all your questions! If you ever have a question or if I failed to get to them all, feel free to DM me. I am so excited to be open and transparent during this journey. You can follow along at @raisingwinsomely.

XOXO.

Jeana ( + Glen)

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winsomelychic · 4 years

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Engagement Photoshoot | Creating your own photoshoot on a budget: Beaufort, SC

I had the privilege of taking photos for our dear friends for their engagement. Unfortunately, with COVID and everyone kind of being off their normal schedules and booked up to catch up on appointments, they needed some photos quickly and couldn’t find a professional photographer to take photos in time. I had mentioned that I love taking photos and would be willing to help them out if they needed so when she came to me I was both excited and honored. I was nervous though because I wanted these photos to be the best quality that I could produce. These were their engagement photos, the photos that they will look back at and remember the moments leading up to the big day. Luckily, this is a fun hobby of mine so I was ready to take on the job.

I figured why not share how to create a wonderful engagement shoot on budget with you all. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for splurging on photos that will hang on your wall for a lifetime, but for some the timing doesn’t work out, a pandemic might get in the way and change all you plans, or you want to save money on a photographer for the REAL big day. I am sharing some tips for making a photo shoot work on a budget.

Camera Quality

If you don’t have a camera, you can either ask a friend or rent one. There are many sites that you can rent a camera. One quick google search and you will find plenty. I bought a Canon off of the Facebook market place and it has been the greatest investment. I am not a professional so I didn’t need anything crazy, but when you find yourself in moments like this it’s nice to have a good one. For less than $150, I found someone selling a camera with two different lenses, the power strip, a couple memory cards, a couple batteries, a camera bag and case. Keep your eye out for these deals. You would be surprised what people are selling and what deal you can score! Also, don’t underestimate the power of the new phones. For my blog, I often just use my IPhone. You can get some really good shots with it and with a little editing, you can make photos look professional in no time.

Locations

Wherever you are going to be taking photos, scout the area and have some places in mind. For this photoshoot, I knew I wanted to take them to this beautiful old train stop that is along a trail. It has this beautiful warehouse building you can walk through! I also spotted a beautiful hotel downtown and the beach. However, when we went to each place, I took photos all over. I thought Dylan was going to get sick of me when I had him running all over the hotel in every corner. We went along the staircases, found random benches, little hiding areas with shade, and even next to a service entrance. I am telling you, try everything. One photo was even off to the side in a corner by some greenery. At first, it didn’t look like the most appealing spot, but after finding a good angle to hide this awful sign that would have ruined the photo, changing the focus (or aperture - not a professional but I think this was it), and taking a few snaps, we made it turn into the most beautiful spot. If you are in Beaufort, SC I highly recommend you check out these places for your next photos.

Beaufort, SC Locations

If you find yourself in Beaufort, check out the locations below to get some photos!

Spanish Moss Trail Train Depot

Beaufort Inn

Sands Beach

The Perfect Outfit

I am always one that thinks soft colors are perfect for photos. One thing I loved about Dylan and Jasmine is that he kept it simple in all black and let her outfit do the talking. You don’t want the photo to be busy, but having some patterns really helps with photos. My other big tip is don’t be so matchy - match. Don’t get me wrong, I love color coordination and a good family matching outfit, but sometimes mixing patterns or playing with what you got depending on the locations can really be cool too. I thinking focusing more on matching a theme of an outfit, then both wearing the same white shirts and khaki pants really helps. It can blend all together if it is too close to the same, but mixing can really accentuate the two people. It is important to think about the places you will be taking photos and the type of photos you want to get out of the shoot. Certain hair colors, skin tones, and eye colors can be pulled out based on your outfit so keep that in mind when deciding what to wear. I am no fashion stylist, but PINTEREST has many stylist that can help you for your body type and your aesthetic. Also, finding an outfit you are confident and comfortable is KEY. If you don’t have to fuss about what you are wearing and you feel good about yourself, you can just enjoy the moment and get those perfect candid shots. .

Being Prepared

Before we went, I pinned some really great poses just incase we needed some help. Often times, people can kind of freeze behind the camera. Having some poses in mind and just talking to them naturally as a photographer really helps. One thing with my friends I learned is by making little comments while they took photos really let everyone calm and relax and the beauty naturally came out. They were also great at coming up with their now poses, so my preparation wasn’t needed but it was great when we felt like we were doing the same things.

Another way to get prepared is to learn how to use your camera and the different settings. I am always learning but I did one quick youtube video tutorial and went outside with my camera to practice. It made me feel real professional when I was changing the aperture while taking their photos. I am telling you, I had never heard of that or knew that button existed on my camera until the tutorial. Be sure to try out your device before the photoshoot so you are comfortable as the photographer. When the photographer is confident to deliver, it helps take the photos. You know the whole saying, “Fake it til you make it, well mama I made it!”

Get creative

Don’t be scared to take a photo that you might think won’t work out. Get out of your comfort zone and get your models out of theres. There were many kissing photos, looking into each others eyes, hand placements and movements to make the photos. I also used natural props to help add more content to the photos. For example, I literally went behind a tree with the leaves obscuring the lens to get this cool out of focus photo. I thought it might be weird and turns out, it added an element I didn’t expect. I have seen people put panty hose over a lens or lace in front of the sun to create a cool lighting feature. There are so many people on social media that have some killer photo tips to capture these awesome photos. This is all trial and error too. Don’t be scared to fail or get a bad photo. Professional photographers definitely have more knowledge on this but it doesn’t mean you can’t give it a try. The worst that can happen is the photo doesn’t turn out and you move on to the next one.

PRESET

One big thing I have learned is that EDITING really enhances a photo and makes it look professional. You can take an average photo and with the right adjustments, you now have professional looking photos. There are so many editing tools to help you. My favorite is Lightroom, which I use for my blog photos and many of my friends who are photographers use it. If you aren’t keen on editing photos yourself, you can purchase a preset on Etsy or from other photographers and let the preset do the editing for you.

HAVE FUN and Keep snapping the photos.

My biggest takeaway from this photoshoot is that if you take 500 photos (Literally I had taken 572 to be exact!), you are bound to get some good photos somewhere. Keep snapping away to increase your chances and get the best photos. Walk around them to get different angles while they pose for you, get low and get

high to get that photo. I may or may not have sat on the floor too get a new angle that I thought was perfect. I am sure the people around me thought I was crazy, but hey its all in the job as a photographer. Keep the session fun, get them laughing and making jokes, have them kiss and smile and talk - I promise you will get the perfect photo. Let their personalities shine through in the photos, at the end of the day those are the photos you will cherish forever. Jasmine has this big, beautiful smile that worked to my advantage and Dylan just had this way of looking at her that made your heart melt. Those are the little things you want to capture because that is the story of them.

Sharing some photos below to help you with some ideas.

Below are some more ideas of photos if you find yourself preparing for an engagement session or planning to take one. I hope this helps and that your next photoshoot is everything you envisioned. Don’t be scared to try new things and take the shot! As I said this entire photoshoot with Dylan and Jasmine, “I am shooting my shot!”.

Also, I just wanted to give a special shout out to Dylan and Jasmine for letting me take their photos. They are literally the epitome of what true love looks like. The way they show their love in these photos I think is what made them turn out. The smiles and the realness was all credited to them. They made my job as pho-photographer really easy. Many best wishes in your marriage and I hope you treasure these photos forever! Share in the comments your favorite place to get photos done or take photos!

xoxo,

Jeana Hughes

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winsomelychic · 4 years

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30 Minute Transformation!

One thing about me is I get bored very quickly with home decor. I am always itching for a change and to put my own little twist on things. When we bought our home, I thrifted or received hand me downs on all my decor, furniture and such. Over time, I have been slowly making our house a home and putting our own touches on everything. We are a one income family so I am very frugal when it comes to making purchases. I like to use all my resources and be smart about what I do, especially because I am always wanting to change. Recently, I have been wanting to change my bedroom. It was super bare and clean looking, but I knew it needed something to make it stand out.

Lately, I have been loving the wall paper trend. I just can’t seem to find myself spending over $100 on wallpaper that is going to take forever to put on the wall and likely end in me getting frustrated cause it isn’t lining up correctly or not sticking the way I want.

Recently on Instagram, two of my favorite gals - Hayley and Karlie -did some home changes. They free handed a wall and painted their bare walls with lines. I absolutely loved it and it became my inspiration! I was really nervous to do it myself cause I am not super talented, but with some motivating words and spare time to kill, I found myself transforming my room. Best part, it only took like 30 minutes. Here are two different ways they styled their homes.

I tagged above my two fav gals that inspired this change in my home! You can click on the photo to check our their Instagram’s and see their style.

Supplies

Black paint - This is for the lines on your wall. I used the left over black paint from my living room transformation. If you don’t have any, I would say the smallest size you can buy will be good because it doesn’t take much. I have a huge wall and still hardly used any paint.

White/ Gray/ Neutral pain (Optional)- I only say this because if your wall isn’t a neutral color, this might not turn out as good. You will see in the photos why.

A 1 inch brush - I linked the packet I bought from Lowes but I only used the small brush for both lines.

Getting Started

When you have your supplies, its time to get started. There is no rhyme or reason to how I put vertical or horizontal stripes. For my wall, I made sure the horizontal ones were much thicker than the vertical ones. You can do what you feel is best for your wall and your vision. I started in the top left corner and worked my way across the top. I did this so I could remove the chair I was standing on when I did the bottom portion so that I didn’t mess anything up. My only advice is to not forget to mix up the different direction of lines so that it is a variety. I didn’t do any pattern or stencil and completely freehanded it. Don’t stress about it! I promise it is SUPER easy.

With the horizontal lines, I used the entire brush when I put it across the wall. For the vertical lines, to make them thinner, I just had the bottom of the brush go down to make it smaller. By doing this, I could do the entire wall with just one brush and not make much of a mess. My saying is always less is more!

The entire wall took me about 30 minutes, if not less. Then I added my sign and greenery back on the wall and it was complete! I did let it dry for maybe two hours just to make sure it was completely done. Also go back through and make sure you don’t have any thick paint spots that might run down your wall or make any bubbles.

Super simple, super easy, totally worth it!

Finish Product

What is your current transformation you are working on in your home? Comment below and share.

xoxo,

Jeana

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Staying Private in the Public Eye: A Blogger’s Guide of How to Know What to Post

So, the title might have fooled you because as a blogger there is not much in my life that is private. I have made the decision to open up to the community and share my life - the good, the bad, and the moments in between.

Before I got into blogging, I definitely had my reservations about opening up online to a bunch of strangers at the time. Especially because almost 95% of my photos have my daughter in them. My main priority in life is to keep her safe, but I had this feeling that kept drawing me to starting a blog. It was a way to express my emotions, my journey, and it gave me something to do as I tackled on motherhood and left my job as a teacher. It sort of gave me a since of purpose away from just being a mom to my little one. In this crazy world, sharing about our lives and what we do kind of made me nervous. My goal is to always be REAL with you all. I may share a lot of good moments in my life, but I also want to share the reality. We are now a family living on one income since I quit working, in a new place meeting new people, in a military lifestyle (that is quite demanding), and I am letting go of a lot of things I was used to and changing my life to be a full time mom and wife. So, yeah I think being real with you and where I am in life is important. In order to do this, I have to share it all with you guys. I don’t think it is good for me to only show the highlights, when there is more to my life behind the scenes. So, with that - I had to make the decision alongside my husband about how much to share with you. I wanted to be able to be honest and open, but there is a fine line between sharing it all to you and crossing a line. My husband and I together came up with a list that would help me know how much is too much and most importantly keep my daughter safe. I found it smart to come up with some guidelines to help me feel more safe and comfortable to open up and give me some peace of mind. I am going to share my guidelines with you if you question how to know what to share. Your guidelines may be different - that is ok. These are just some generic guidelines that were important to us as a family as I started the blog.

Appropriate Photos

Every time I post a photo, I always ask myself a few question before pressing upload. These questions are:

Are we going to be okay with this photo in the future? If it is a photo about Marleigh, “Will this photo embarrass Marleigh in the future?”

Can you get private information from this photo?

Can someone use this photo in a negative way that will hurt my family?

Am I okay with a stranger having this photo SAVED on their phone or computer? (It happens. People might like it and save it to send to a friend. A friend might find inspiration and save it. Remember, instagram has a saving method, iPhones takes screenshot - your photo might be saved.)

Does this photo benefit my audience? Are they gaining from this photo or will they like it. (This is not a question to see if it insta worth and to question how many likes- but if I am going to put something private out there are they going to benefit or am I sharing a part of my life that can’t be of help to someone in my audience or give inspiration).

Sharing Location

I do not share my location while I am at the specific location. I may share a broad location but I will never share my exact location. For example, if I am at Disney I will be at Disney but I will not share where I am at that exact time. Usually if I share something on my stories, I have already left that exact spot. It might be a little over the top but it brings us safety. Also, if I share a location in my feed, it is usually after I am gone. Kind of the same idea with my stories!

Details

As an influencer, I want to give you the most information without divulging a lot. For example, when I talk budget with you guys! I will totally share with you guys as much as possible, but I will not share my social security number. I know you think it sounds silly, but it is the truth. One that I have found often is addresses. People will show them in front yards visiting friends or whatnot, just make sure that the addresses are not visible. I will be 100% open with you all, but I will not give you every single private detail that puts my family ar risk. Their safety is my number one priority.

Monitoring following

I say this and I will continue to say this, always monitor your following. I get it - you want a big following especially working with companies. However, having scary people follow you isn’t worth the collaboration in my opinion. I want people to follow me that engage with my posts and don’t give off vibes that they are not there for the right reason. Just be mindful of who is following you. If you have random letters, zero photos, and are private, there is a good chance I will remove you. Lurking accounts cause red flags.

These guidelines are very different for everyone. Yours might be a little more or a little less strict. I find it best to discuss these guidelines with any guardian of the minor that will be showcased if you choose to share photos of your children. For me, my biggest concern was safety for my daughter. I also have to be mindful how much I share with my husband in the military. There are rules that we have to follow as a military family to not divulge certain information. This usually pertains to deployments and stuff that can be taken. I didn’t want to share too much that would go against my husbands comfortability with my online presence and I didn’t want to put something on the internet that one day my daughter won’t like. So these guidelines really help direct me in my posts.

Make a list and use it to help you go through your blogging journey. If you are questioning if you should post, my rule of thumb is to keep it for myself and find something else. If I really like the topic, maybe find a new picture to be the face of the post. If you really want to speak on an issue, be mindful of how you phrase things. This isn’t creating inauthenticity, this is just being mindful of your online presence.

All in all, use your best judgement. Your instincts and decision will be what is best for your feed.

Thank you again I am a Child of God Photography for capturing these moments. Click the link to check out their Facebook page for all my Central Florida friends! They have so many great things coming for the holidays! I will never get over this photoshoot because it was just so much fun and full of true joy! We have some very talented friends who even captured some bloopers of Marleigh pulling my hair and eat grass because a photoshoot with a babe wouldn’t be complete without those. THIS IS REAL LIFE YALL.

xoxo,

Jeana (+ Glen and Marleigh )

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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A ONEderful Party without Breaking the Bank

You know that quote “Living a champagne life on a beer budget”, well that was my idea going into this party except to make it age appropriate we will go with “Living a formula life on a breastfeeding budget”. (Was that too much of a mom joke?) Anywho, I really wanted to make her first birthday special but without breaking the bank. So, like all things I do, I make a plan, create a budget, and start planning. Here is how I got my party planned on a budget.

Planning, Planning, Planning.

It all starts in the plans. If you have a plan and a list, stick to those things and you won’t start purchasing random things that really put a wrench in a budget. I always create a Pinterest board for everything that I envision. Then I go back through and make sure it is something that is attainable, something I really, really want, and if it is a necessity. Once I get it all prepared, then I start thrifting, researching, and buying.

Creating the Party

For Marleigh’s birthday, I didn’t want to do a theme. With the party being in Florida, just in case something were to happen, I didn’t want to be tied down to anything - so I went with A ONEderful Party. Basic enough. I also knew that I wanted a focus wall that everything tied into. The balloon arches and the greenery walls always catch my eye and I really wanted it! When I first did the research and called companies, I was getting priced for $300+ for them to make a balloon arch for me and the greenery walls were mostly 65-200+. That is not something I was wanting to spend. I went to my amazing Amazon Prime account and started looking. You can do a balloon arch on your own for $20! I already had an air pump so I saved $8 there, but if you really want to be cheap and not buying the air pump (WHICH I DON’T RECOMMEND), you can always blow them. Just make sure you have lots of friends because the balloon arch came with roughly 70 balloons of varying sizes. When I found that cheap option for a balloon arch, I chose my color and that was going to be the colors I did for my party.

The green wall was a splurge but that is because I plan on using it for multiple things so I saw it as an investment, however I still found a good deal. On amazon, they often have products that are used. If you do some investigating, if they are sold from the Amazon Warehouse, that usually means that the item is basically new. They will even tell you the defect. I got my greenery wall for $39.99 because the box was wrinkled. THE BOX. What a deal! That is the two things I splurged the most on, well besides food.

Food Planning

This is probably the priciest part of the party in all honesty. It all depends on how many people you have coming to the party. I had about 65-70 people and I spent roughly $200 for everything. We decided to be a little extravagant with having burgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, chips, Cole slaw, bake beans, sodas, juices, teas, and desserts that weren’t including the cake. We definitely could have dropped this number down by inviting less people or sticking with easier options.

But one thing, I did do was BUY IN BULK. We used our Sam’s Club membership to help us save on things that we needed in large quantity. I also noticed that a 16 inch pizza was only 9$ so you could buy 10 pizzas for 90 and there you go. You’re price on food just went down if you want to go that route. You can also pay for sub trays or chicken trays in bulk that make things less expensive. Finding foods that need less toppings and extra purchases really help. Unfortunately, we went the more expensive route but I had this budgeted in.

Other Ideas that helped us: We also had our family put their money that would have been for a gift towards helping with the party. They asked us if we wanted to do a present or cash and for us right now, we thought cash would be better since Marleigh didn’t need an overflowing amount of gifts. We had this in our budget, but it helped us save even more since we spent less.

Ask your friends, family, and community to find DEALS

Cake

We got our cake made by a family friend rather than picking it out! She makes phenomenal cakes and we are so blessed to know her. However, if you do not have a family friend that bakes cakes that doesn't mean you can’t have a cake without buying one. Make your own cake - SO MUCH CHEAPER. Especially a smash cake because they aren’t going to know if it is store bought or homemade.

Decor

Most of the decor came from repurposed decor I found around my home. Literally, I left for Florida with things that I use in my own home. My walls looked funky when I left because I took a couple vines, a couple signs, and few little odds and ends. For things I did not have, I asked my family and friends. Do not feel ashamed to ask others to borrow something for a party. My grandparents brought a cute drink dispenser from their church for the tea. My sister donated her pink vase, flowers, and menu board. Get creative - think about what you have and do not go out and buy it.

Party Favors

For our party favors, I wanted something useful and not a waste. I found these cute little jars and filled them with M&Ms. The kids can eat the candies and then when all is said and done, the parents can use the jars in their homes or toss them. My party favors were very cheap and in budget. I bought one case of jars (with a coupon) and one bag of candies.

Thrifting and Coupon Shopping

Start planning in advance so you can coupon shop and look in thrift shops. For things I bought at Hobby Lobby, I would go and use a 40% off coupon. I would buy things at different times so I could get a few things for 40% off- THE SAVINGS add up.

For things that don’t really matter, don’t stress.

I kept it simple and didn’t go crazy. I wasn't going to stress about this because in reality the party was for my memory - Marleigh won’t know the difference between anything. My goal was to have family and friends over and hang out and just be together. Don’t complicate things because then the money adds up. Don’t be upset because you aren’t buying new things to make the party come to life. I had one focus wall that I spent less than 100$ (which I could have very well made cheaper (I bought the green wall only because I have other plans for it!) and the food. The rest was very simple with 99 cent table covers and tasteful things from my home that matched!

Location

I had my party at my parents so it was free. However, there are a lot of public parks and places that allow you to throw parties for free by reserving. Do your research and find these places because they will really help you save.

Prepare and Save

No matter what, when you throw a party you are going to have to spend money - NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BUDGET. Start saving early so when the time comes, you already have it off to the side and you do not have to dip into your account.

If you have any questions about what I bought at my party, feel free to ask! I am very grateful that my family and friends could help put this party on a budget. I am not going to lie. We had help! Our parents offered to help with the party over a gift and that was something that we thought worked for us. Honestly, hosting parties can get really get pricey. You really have to think about what you need, what you truly want, and can you find alternatives or multiple uses for what you are buying. Could I have saved more while planning this party? MOST DEFINITELY. It is all in your budget and what you want to spend. But don’t be scared to ask family for donations or borrowing items to throw the party - just make sure to return it in good condition and with a THANK YOU NOTE. Happy Party Planning.

xoxo,

Jeana

#party #planning #budget #birthday #spending #finance #celebrating #parents #kids #mother #lifestyle #partytime #celebration

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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A Place for Independent Play

This post is sponsored by North States.

As a stay at home mom, I swear I have a thousands things to do but my most important job is keeping Marleigh safe and happy.

Marleigh is growing up, WAY TO FAST. It feels like yesterday she was laying on the ground unable to move, staring up at the ceilings, and making feeble attempts to master tummy time. You know the saying ”Whoever said the newborn stage is the hardest obviously hasn’t had a toddler yet” has some MAJOR truth to it. Marleigh mastered crawling and is SO close to walking and our lives have been forever changed.

I can’t take my eyes of her or else she is splashing in the doggy bowl or opening up the cabinets and taking a peek inside. She has me on my feet, running around the house constantly. Before you know it, I am building a barricade with pillows and chairs just to keep her confined from roaming the house so I can get a few things done.

Thankfully, the stress of building a barricade is gone. I am now easily able to create a safe, confined, and functional space for Marleigh' to independent play while I work on my other chores around the house. I am a big advocate of independent play, so creating this space was so important to me. I ended up going with the North States Super Yard 3-in-1 Arched Decor Metal Superyard with a two panel extension to make it extra roomy for Marleigh as she grows. In total, I have about 19 square feet of space for Marleigh to play (perfect size for my living room!)

Why choose North State Baby Play yards?

Mobility

We can bring this to my parent’s house, in hotels, or in and out of the closet for when people come and go - do you get what I am saying. It is so easy to build and break down so that we can bring it anywhere we need it.

Aesthetically Pleasing

Okay let’s be real. All of us mamas want everything to look good and match nowadays. I mean I am all about colors, but I like things to match and not stand out. My home is BoHo Farmhouse with the black and white, so when I saw this option, I immediately got excited! I knew this was the one! This really matched the vibe in my home. The dark metal added a presence in the house that didn’t distract for guests when they come or for my eyes. Also, when we aren’t using it, it becomes a great barrier to put around the fireplace so that Marleigh can’t try to get in when we light a fire on a chilly evening. We can leave it up and it won’t be a distraction. Also that’s a win for having multiple purposes: Two for 1 - keep Marleigh in to play and keep her out of the fire.

Independent Play Area

The most important thing was to keep Marleigh safe in a nice space that she can have independent play while I clean. When I am constantly running around the house to different rooms to get everything picked up or laundry sorts, I know that she is content in her space playing with her toys. I don’t have to worry about her getting into cabinets, finding herself in the dog bowl for the 50th time that day, or running into the bathroom and destroying the toilet paper. She is curious and this keeps her confined but it doesn’t make her feel like she is in a cage. Although my husband likes to joke that it is her zoo exhibit because she can be REAL WILD.

We are so happy with our play yard from North States. We love that this space is just for Marleigh to grow and play (and occasionally for Chief too when he sneaks in!)

xoxo,

Jeana Hughes

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Self Care with Mountainier Bath and Soap Company

It is no secret that when you become a mama your focus shifts and your priorities change. The things I used to focus on took a backseat as I cared for my little one. It was honestly a good day if I got to shower longer than five minutes, and if I shaved my legs, well that was a miracle. For the longest time, I forgot what relaxing was like. I just assumed it was the little moments of sleep I had or the two seconds of quiet in the chaos. Moral of the story: my self care was at the bottom of the totem pole of priorities.

I realized in order for me to be the best mom I could be I had to take care of myself. I stopped seeing self-care as a selfish act and more as a way to benefit my child. Whether it was eating healthy, waking up early to have a few minutes of self-reflection and quiet time, or getting ready and having a night out with the girls, I was making it a priority to focus on me. How we choose to focus on self-care will be different for each of us, but most importantly we need to take a few minutes or a few hours or a few days to get away and focus on ourselves. It doesn’t make us bad moms because we need to get away, it allows us to refresh and become better moms. I have realized with each step of our kids lives our idea of self-care changes too. In the beginning, I would have my husband watch her for 30 minutes and I would jog or walk around the neighborhood to clear my head. I would feed her and I knew I had at least two hours to be away. Now, as she gets older and she is becoming less dependent on me for food and such, the time I can be apart from her is growing. The ways I focus on self-care are adjusting to these changes. Also, I am feeling a little more relaxed being away from her too (that was also a difficulty to overcome).

One simple way I know I can focus on my self-care is just jumping in a bubble bath and having a spa night. I love being able to lay in the warm water, close my eyes and not have to worry about little fingers splashing the water in my face. When I have spa night, I love to include my Mountainier Bath and Soap Company products. This company was built by a mother who knew the importance of finding solitude without ever having to leave the house. These eco friendly products are designed to help you relax, repair, and rejuvenate both mind and body. These are a few of the products from their line that I like to incorporate into my spa night routine.

Mountainier Bath and Soap Co. Products

Bath Bombs and Bath Salts

These bath bombs smell HEAVENLY, and they add the perfect aroma to my bathroom for spa night. It is also fun to watch them fizzle in the water. The moment you drop these bombs into the bath, the scent quickly fills up the room and I just let them work their magic. Also, just laying in the water with both of these products makes you skin not only smell good, but feel good. It leaves my skin feeling moisturized from the shea butter and coconut oil, and is the perfect touch to my at home spa night.

Soaps

Mountainier Bath provides soaps geared towards both adults and kids. Each soap is made with all natural products and no harsh chemicals. I’ve read up on ditching and switching to safer, clean, non-toxic products for my house. It has become very important to me to start living a toxic free life, and this is one way to rid toxins in your household. The children soap is so cute because it comes in shapes of animals, like a frog. My daughter loves playing with her soap bar and thinks it is her toy all while getting cleaned for bed.

Speciality Products

They also sell a great variety of products to use with their bath essentials, such as towels, make up removing pads, soap plates, and bags for your products. The makeup remover cloth pads are literally so soft! I love using them before bed to wipe my make up off after a long day. You can check them out here!

Men’s Products

For my men, there are products also just for you! They have a razor kit and beard balm that is made from all natural ingredients! These are perfect gifts for the men in our lives to have their own time for self-care! Daddy’s deserve it too!

Seasonal Products

So, if you are anything like me then you love Fall. Honestly I am counting down the next few weeks until it is officially my favorite season even though I already have my fall candle from Mountainier lit. Their Apple Harvest candle is actually perfect. Especially lighting it after a wonderful bath with their fall soap scents like Pumpkin Spice and Cinnamon Vanilla. It’s like a warm hug at the end of the night. The scents immediately put me at ease.

Subscriptions

If you want to never have to worry about going to the store to prepare for spa night but want to have those nights to focus on your self-care, you can purchase a subscription box. There are two options for the subscription: a 12-month subscription or a 6 month subscription box.

What’s inside the subscription box?

You are getting $30.00 worth of product (FULL SIZE PRODUCTS!) in your subscription with free shipping. This includes bath salts, soaps, towel cloths, bath bombs, and more. Also, there are fun seasonal products that might make a surprise in your box.

Mountainier Bath and Soap Company hands down is one of my favorite soaps to have in stock in our home. The customer service is also impeccable. They truly take pride in their products and want the best for their customers. They are incredible small shop that I love to support. Shop small, shop with love.

xoxo,

Jeana Hughes

This post is sponsored by Mountainier Bath and Soap Co.

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Night Time Routine

When I found out I was pregnant, I was given a lot of advice from family. One thing that really resonated with me was creating a “night time routine”. I knew I didn’t want to be someone that had to have their kids in the bath by 7:00 and down by 7:30. (If you are that mother and it works for you, you’re doing awesome), that just wasn’t realistic for us. We have no “routine” at home and knowing my husbands job schedule alters so often, I didn’t want to be tied to a set routine. However, I did want Marleigh to have a loose routine that was consistent to let her know when it was time for bed.

My night time routine is something that I think has been the foundation for Marleigh’s good sleep skills. I might be incorrect but when we skip a bath or forget our sleep sack, I feel like she wakes up more. I never focused on the time we put her down, but more so her cues and the actual steps themselves. Today, I’m going to share with you all my night time routine. If we are home, we start her night schedule when she seems tired. This is usually sometime in between 7pm-9pm! If we are out and about, I start the routine when we get home. If we are on vacation or away from the house, I try to make the environment feel as much like home as I can and go when she is tired. I told y’all - we are really flexible. Marleigh often takes a late afternoon/early evening nap. I try not to let her fall asleep after 5pm and I entertain her to get her wiped out for bed time. Before her night time routine, we play together and get her mind stimulated so she gets really tired!

When we realize it’s time to start our night routine this is what we do:

Step 1: Nurse/ Bottle

Marleigh will show cues that she is tired so I will nurse her as much as I can. I try to make sure she is FULL. Often during this feed, she will get drowsy because she is tired. I will sit her up and switch sides! I want to make sure she eats as much as possible. I used to feed after the bath but after talking to a sleep consultant who suggested I feed first, Marleigh has slept longer in the night. She explained to me that Marleigh was associating nursing to falling asleep, therefore in the middle of the night if she woke up she would need to nurse in order to put herself back to sleep. This little switch in our routine made a world of difference. If you bottle feed, this is perfect time to give a bottle. If it were me, I would alternate who feeds the baby different nights so they get used to everyone. (I’m not a scientist or baby expert, but I feel like this would help in the long run for anyone to put them down. Don’t quote me!)

Step 2: Bath

After Marleigh is full, I put her in the bath. This is the time for her to relax in the warm water, release gas bubbles so her belly is settled, and get all cleaned up. Lavender body wash is my favorite to set the mood for calming. We have some little toys that I let Marleigh play with herself but I try to keep a calm voice when engaging with her. Some nights we definitely have her splashing and going crazy, but for the most part I try to keep a calm environment. Kids will be kids though, so if gets crazy I join the fun with her. Memories outweigh a clean bathroom!

Step 3: Baby Self Care

During this time, I give Marleigh a baby massage with lavender lotion. I put her night time diaper on, her footie pajamas, and I brush her hair (she loves this). I try to keep the mood super calm by talking very softly, humming, and giving little kisses. I only turn on a lamp so it isn’t super bright in the room. Marleigh usually wipes her eyes, pulls at her ears, and yawns during this time. This is my cue that she is ready for bed! I did my job well as a mama!

Step 4: Sleep Sack- Lay in Crib

Okay. I find the Sleep Sack so important. We use the Nested Bean Zen Sack for Marleigh! I linked it here for you to check out. They are such a wonderful company dedicated to making our lives as mamas so much easier at night. We started her with the newborn Nested Bean Swaddle but now that she is older, we transitioned her into the sack just in case she rolls. YALL, I swear by these sacks! My friend used them and introduced me and I fell in love. (Thanks Erin!!) Not only do they come in cute patterns, but the weighted center provides comfort for self-soothing. It sits on their chest, unless they are belly sleepers you can have it where it is placed on the center of their back. I highly, highly suggest you all try these sacks if your little one is having trouble at night. When I lay Marleigh in the crib in her sack, I make sure she is either drowsy but awake or wide awake. She will self-soothe herself to sleep on her own. The first week Marleigh cried and fussed for a few minutes when I put her down, but with the sack and getting used to the routine she now falls asleep like a champ with no fuss.

Tips

White Noise Machine: Some people use a white noise machine to play while their little one is asleep. I don’t use this because we never have with Marleigh and she does fine without it. If you are having trouble, it’s worth investing and trying it out. Unfortunately, I don’t have a great brand for you but I’ve heard there are many good ones on Amazon!

Pacifiers: Some babes love the comfort of a soother. I did not give Marleigh one because she would wake up when it would fall out. So, I just had her learn to sleep without it. It’s been easier for us to not have it. Again, it might be better for your babe so you can give it a try.

Book: We want to incorporate reading into our routine permanently. Some nights we will throw in a book after we have her in the sack but before we lay her down. When she gets older, this will be something we do every night. Right now it just depends on the night if we read or not. If she doesn’t seem too sleepy then I will definitely read and wait for her to get more drowsy.

Middle of the Night Wake Up: Ok, sometimes Marleigh will wake up at like 3AM. You know your child the best and I’m sure you can differentiate between hunger cry and fussy/attention cry. I usually wait 10-20 minutes and during this time Marleigh will fall asleep again on her own - usually. If I see her cry is getting stronger into a hunger cry and she is waking up, I walk in and feed her. It’s completely normal to feed 1-2 times a night when they are young. Marleigh still wakes up sometimes but her sleep stretches are growing longer and most often she sleeps through the night.

If you have questions about sleeping, regressions, swaddle and sack questions - CHECK OUT NESTED BEAN’S WEBSITE. They have so much helpful information about sleeping that will make life easier. During the four month sleep regression, I loved having them as a resource. They partner with a lot of sleep experts on Instagram that will takeover their stories and answer your questions personally! Nested bean is the one stop shop and info center for sleep. The best part is their products actually work!!! Check their website out here.

I’m not a sleep expert, nor do I know if my routine is 100% solid. I’m learning just like you are. All I can say is if you are finding yourself having issues with bedtime and sleeping through the night, this might be something for you to consider looking into. It could be you just need a slight change in your routine or a product to help make the process easier. Hope you find your sleep soon mama. Like everything, “This too shall pass”. You will get there one day but enjoy this moment now. We will miss it when they get older.

xoxo,

Jeana

#mommy #newbornsleep #mom #sleeplife #baby stuff #momsupportingmoms #momlife #sleeptime #fedisbest #babyfed #newborn #baby #breastfeeding #sleepcycle

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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I'm so sleep, I need tired.

Article Published on Mom Culture

I used to set an alarm on my phone to get up in the morning. Now, my alarm clock is the sweetest little girl and “Oh mama” does that little girl keep me up. There is that age old saying that every expectant mother hears while pregnant: ‘Enjoy your sleep now because once the baby comes you will not get any.’ I am here to tell you – THEY ARE NOT LYING! Go to sleep while you can because when the little one comes, goodbye sleep- hello exhaustion. I know a few mama’s that have been blessed with great sleeping babies, and man do I envy them! For me on the other hand, sleep is a thing of the past. I am now the mom that is so tired she puts her shirt on backwards and needs her morning coffee to feel she can tackle the day.

When Marleigh was first born, she had jaundice which made her super sleepy. You would think I was lucky right? Wrong. I had to feed her consistently every two hours to help with the jaundice. You would also think during the day I would sleep when she did? Wrong again. I would stay awake staring at her because I was so infatuated with my new baby, and truth be told I had to be awake to get all my errands and daily tasks completed. I would organize the house, stare at Marleigh, wake her up to feed and think next time I will nap, but then I wouldn’t. When night time came, I was bone- tired. My body was ready for sleep but I still had to set my timer and feed her every two hours.

I am not sure if I can accurately explain the sleep deprivation I experienced. There were moments I would feed Marleigh and drift off to sleep holding her. I would set her back in the crib once I realized she was no longer eating and had fallen back to sleep. I would go back to bed, set my alarm for another two hours and drift asleep. I was so exhausted that I would quickly fall into a dream state and dream that I was still feeding Marleigh. When my alarm would go off two hours later, I would wake up in a panic because she was not on me. I would look next to me on the bed and I couldn’t find her. I would literally be freaking out and then look in her crib and see her laying there sleeping peacefully. This literally happened to me constantly for the first few weeks until I could finally start letting her sleep through the night.

As time went on, and I no longer was on the every two hours schedule, I started to get more sleep (Hallelujah!) but was it good quality sleep? We would put Marleigh to bed around 9pm and she would sleep until about 2. Five solid hours of sleep! I would feed her and put her back to bed until about 6:30! Another solid 4.5 hours of sleep! Sounds great, right?! Yet, I was still not getting more sleep, even when she was sleeping longer. I could not sleep through those hours because as a mom, especially first time moms, we are consistently waking up and checking the monitor to make sure the baby is alright! Even though she was sleeping, I was not fully sleeping. I now consider myself a light sleeper because every noise has me up in two seconds.

Now, Marleigh is doing pretty well with her night time sleeping! Our fun issue is napping! Once you get one sleep pattern accomplished and settled, the next sleeping problem arises. I swear the four month sleep regression is no joke! Except our regression is happening during the day, she will just not sleep during the day. I honestly breed a non-sleeper because she refuses to go down for a nap unless I feed her and hold her the whole time. Once she is asleep, I am scared to move a muscle or she will wake up! If I try to put her in the crib, she immediately wakes up and cries. You know those videos of the parents getting in the crib and sleeping with them, yeah that just might be the next thing I try.

The sleep issues are all a phase and will get better once Marleigh gets older… well I am keeping my fingers crossed at least. I have researched so many sleep training tips, scheduling ideas, routines for night time, nap tricks, etc. I have done the research and I still have my issues. Ask me how sleep training is going? It’s not. I am just a first time mom trying to figure out how to get my sleep back! Honestly, as a mom - do we ever really get our sleep back like we used to? Maybe when she turns 18 and heads to college, I will find my sleep again. Maybe.

I finally understand the extent of sleep deprivation. I swear my pregnancy midnight wake ups were just preparing me for the rest of my life. I am that mom that gives up in the middle of the night and sneaks her baby into bed just to feed her and catch a few more minutes of sleep. I wake up in the morning and miss the refreshed feeling. I am the mom praying that my child will sleep for a few more minutes because mommy is not ready to get up yet. I live for the days my husband will take her in the morning and let me continue to sleep. I find myself chuckling to myself when I think about how the days I said I need my eight hours of undisturbed sleep. I mean in all honesty would be grouchy without a full night's sleep, and yet here I am running on 2 hours of fulfilling sleep, a coffee, but a whole lot of love. As much as I miss my sleep, I love my late night cuddles with my little one. Even if I did breed a non-sleeper, that just means I get more hugs and quiet time with my daughter!

Now, I am off to go catch a few more minutes of sleep before my little one wakes up again!

xoxo,

Jeana Hughes

#sleep #momculture #momlife #mommy #mom #girlmom #sleeptime #newbornsleep #newborn #sleepcycle #sleeplife #parenting #ohheymama #momsupportingmoms

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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The Minimalist Hospital Bag

I am pretty sure when the third trimester hit, I started to panic. It wasn’t that I was nervous for the baby to come, but I was scared that I was not prepared. I wanted everything to be ready for her arrival. The nursery was done, the new clothes were clean, the diapers and wipes were stocked, now it was time to pack my hospital bag.

Luckily for me, I lived a short (not even) mile from the hospital. Seriously - I can walk to the hospital in about 10 minutes (max). My husband and I used to joke that when I began my the labor process, I would spend time walking to the hospital waiting for the contractions to be three minutes apart. Anywho, I really was focused on making sure I was fully packed for the hospital. I wanted to make sure I had everything but I did not want to overpack. You know? Nobody wants to carry five suitcases and three duffle bags when they are going into labor. That may be extreme but you get my point. I wanted just what I would need and nothing more. I will say that even my minimalist bag was still overpacked, but I am glad that I brought what I did. I had done SO MUCH research prior to creating my list and packing. I sat on Pinterest and ready nearly every hospital bag I could and asked all my friends who had recently given birth what they found most helpful. I was going to make sure that I had the sufficient hospital bag for my weekend stay.

Ok - so what did I pack? Lets take a look inside my hospital bag.

I used the checklist above from a wonderful blogger. This was the one that caught my eye as I did research! It was not too long where it was overwhelming and it covered the basics.

Comfy PJs- I went to Target and bought the Women's Beautifully Soft Notch Collar Pajama Set - Stars Above in black. I had read on many blogs that a darker color is best in case you have an extra bleeding or issues. So, I bought the darkest color. Nothing beats black, am I right? I also had many compliments when I wore them in the hospital. The nurses all asked about them because they wanted a pair for themselves. They are so soft and if you plan to breastfeed they are perfect because they button up and have easy access. I also liked that I bought the shorts style because I felt secure down there when I would walk around with the pad and mesh undies. They also weren't tight at all so I didn’t feel constricted. Click here for the link to my fave pajamas!

Slippers/Slide On Sandals- I just used my regular pair of Old Navy Sandals that I bought on dollar day. They were easy to slip on to walk around the room and I could also use them in the shower. I didn’t have to worry about finding shower shoes and slip on while I was there. If you want you can pack a pair of shower shoes and slippers separately. I just threw away my sandals when I left! I didn’t really want them after that weekend at the hospital.

Hair Ties- My hair was up the whole time in a braid. After I showered the first time (So heavenly!), I just threw my hair in a braid. Unless you are planning to take epic family photos in the first 48 hours, I would leave your hair straightener and blow drier at home. I would also bring a brush too!

Shower Necessities- I bought a travel tooth brush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I had them already in my bag and ready to go, that way I wasn’t grabbing my daily ones in a rush. They were the perfect size to be used for the weekend. I also bought a cheap towel and then just threw it away after my shower at the hospital. It was better quality than the hospital towels, but not enough for me to feel the need to keep it.

Lady Goods Healing Supplies- So the hospital provides the majority of stuff for the healing. I did however pack my Frida Peri bottle, Dermoplast, and Earth Mama Perineal Spray in the beginning. I wasn’t given those things from the doctor until I was discharged so it was nice to have in the beginning.

Lotion/Creams: I packed my favorite pumpkin scent lotion to make me cozy in the hospital. I had Marleigh the night before the first day of Fall favorite season- so all the fall scents were out. I also packed nipple cream in case I needed it for feeding.

Going home outfit: For baby and me. I packed two newborn outfits (in case for sizing) and then one outfit for me. I packed a t-shirt dress because it was comfy. Plan on something loose and comfy for your exit! You will also still be about the size you were when you were six months pregnant, so think about that size. Be loose and comfy! I also threw in an outfit, some pj’s, and undies for my husband. He ran home most days though to let our dog out and would get changed quickly there before he headed pack.

Breastfeeding Tools- Nursing pads and nursing bras!

Phone Charger- I had an extra and just packed that. If you have a longer cord that is nice but not a necessity.

Optional

Some people pack snacks and books to take up time while they are waiting. I didn’t and I was fine. While I had the epidural and was waiting, I napped and watched tv in the room. I also spent the last few hours with my husband just enjoying our last few moments with just us two.

Pump- Some people bring those for questions. I didn’t bring mine - I just asked questions with my LC at a later date.

Money for any little things you might want to buy while you are away (or in our case- my husband made a bet on how much our little one weighed!)

Also - have the carseat ready in the car!!!

I packed very little! I wanted a small bag and just the right amount of stuff to not overwhelm myself or make a mess in our little hospital room. If you live farther or prefer to have more and be over prepared that works too! Another tip is to use a small roller bag versus a duffle bag - easier to open and get into. It is also easier to keep tidy in your room and close up and store in the corner.

If you have any questions- never hesitate to reach out!

xoxo,

Jeana

#hospital #bag #baby #newborn #baby stuff #birht #birth #birthday #packing #hospital stay

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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My Sugar Baby

Everyone knows about the awful sugary liquid that you are forced to drink around the 28-week check-up. Most, however, do not understand the purpose of the drink other than it tells you if you have Gestational Diabetes. I can say that if you are positive for this test, I know the feelings you are going through. If you are first time mom or this is your first time testing positive, know that you did not FAIL. Let me first explain the process.

Testing Process

When you arrive to the lab, you will drink this sugary drink that either taste like flat orange soda, lemon lime Gatorade, or fruit punch with double the sugar and a little thicker consistency. Don’t go in thinking it will taste horrible or it really will. Honestly, for me it wasn’t as bad as I expected but it definitely wasn’t something I would ever want to drink again. Chug it and then drink some water – most doctors let you but double check to make sure. Then you sit for an hour and get your blood drawn. Your doctor will phone you and let you know if you pass. They are checking your blood sugars to make sure your insulin is working to bring down your sugars. If you do not pass, they will have you come in for a three-hour test. Here you will fast for the night then drink the mixture one more time. You will sit for three hours and get your blood tested every hour. If you are here for this test, bring your phone with Netflix, a good book, or something to keep you busy. You will be at the lab for a while, unfortunately. After they take these test results, you will go home and wait for the results. Most people will get the all clear and go on the merry way, but for some of us the results might not be in our favor.

Feelings

I was working and missed the call from my OB doctor. She left a voicemail with all my data and ending the call with “I have put in a prescription for your blood testing kit and will set up an appointment with a nutritionist. Unfortunately, you have Gestational Diabetes.” My stomach was in knots and I am pretty sure I listened to the voicemail like 20 times. Did I hear it right? I cannot have GD. I eat healthy; besides the one thing of ice cream I ate two weeks ago and I did eat chicken nuggets three days ago. Can I really be this unhealthy?

This was going through my thoughts. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I had a diagnosis. I failed the first test I had taken while pregnant and I was at fault for my baby’s health. At least, that’s what I thought. I did all this research about the risks of GD. First things first, do NOT google health risks. You might see things like obese baby, still birth, etc. The research was daunting, my heart was clenching, tears were flowing, and I was a failure. I honestly could not stop researching GD or shake the worries that we’re in my head. It was just a dark cloud looming over me. I had never been pregnant before and all my mommy friends told me how awful it was to be diagnosed. Why was this happening to me? I was also embarrassed. All my friends passed and here I was failing this test. They were all waiting to hear the results and I just wanted to avoid the conversation.

Coping

I am not going to lie. I laid on the couch in my husbands lap and just cried, a long and good cry. He sat there and didn’t say a word. The silence was needed so I could just let it out and find solitude and strength. I finally voiced my concerns with him, we wrote down questions for the doctors to find answers, and we prayed.

Dealing with it during pregnancy.

After I met with my OBGYN and my dietician, I routinely had to check my blood sugars four times a day: in the morning when I first woke up (fasting), after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This was a lot but it was worth it for my little one! I also had a few extra check ups to make sure things were good. I was diet controlled, meaning I could keep my sugars in check by being mindful of my diet. I ate specific carbs that were low on the glycemic index scale and I was good. Others have a much harder time and have to turn to medicines or insulin. I wish I could help more if you are put on medicine, but that was not something I went through. For the last couple months I was tracking my meals, eating lower carbs- high protein (DEFINITLY FIND A WAY TO ADD FIBER TO YOUR DIET), and just staying positive. The doctors were mainly concerned with making sure my placenta looked good and Marleigh has good sugars after birth. I will say I didn’t gain a ton of weight during my pregnancy because I was being super healthy and exercising. I did get creative with my diet. I would make milkshakes with protein shakes and ice or make pizza with cauliflower and loads of protein. The food was all just me playing around and seeing what worked for my sugars. Some days I could eat a small apple and other times I was stuck with veggies and meat.

Birth

The only difference with my labor is that Marleigh had to get some extra pricks to check her blood sugars! It was definitely rough for a mama to watch!

Overall

I had a mild case of GD! That doesn’t mean I was special or misdiagnosed, I just had an easier time regulating my sugars! I had many friends that their story is very different. They are some of the most spectacular mamas making sacrifices so early on. All of us mamas just tried to do the best we could for our babies to be healthy.

Misconceptions

You only get GD if you are overweight. Sorry, but super fit and super health conscious woman also get it. Its all about the placenta! There have been correlations with obesity and GD, but it is not a cause and effect.

You can’t have any yummy food.

It might not be the French fries, pasta, and gummy bears you were craving but if you get creative you can have some yummy things! Also, you may possibly still be able to go to your favorite restaurant or Starbucks (Any tea- with heavy cream and nonsugared vanilla syrup or coffee with heavy cream - No carbs!)! Also, one bite of cheesecake was fine for me! I splurged on my baby shower day!

You are just like a regular diabetic.

This is so false. A GD diet is all trial and error. Everyone’s body reacts differently and although we have to be careful of our sugars, we aren’t like a regular diabetic. Some of the woman I met in my GD group could eat apples and peanut butter or have a few fries with their steak and others couldn’t even think about carbs or their sugars spiked. I was a mild case of GD so I didn’t have to change what I ate too much. I wasn’t on insulin, so I was different than a regular diabetic. I just had to check my numbers!

If you are diagnosed, remember . . . .

It is not your fault.

You will get through this.

The diet will help you keep energy, possibly lose weight, and make the days go by.

Every GD diet is different. It is a trial and error. If you get a high number, don’t stress. Make a change to your diet and try again. If you constantly get high numbers, talk to your dietician. They are on your team!

Join a Facebook group for GD. Those ladies will give recipes, provide emotional support, and show that you are not alone.

Also, some people might not understand GD. I have had plenty of people that said things that made me uncomfortable, but they simply didn’t understand GD. Don’t hide behind your diagnosis and try your best to educate others so they have a better understanding. Explain to people your diet restrictions and why they are necessary, explain what causes GD, and when people respond rudely - smile and stay focused on your baby. You are strong!

If you are diagnosed with GD, do not hesitate to reach out to me.

God Bless our Sugar Babies!

xoxo,

Jeana

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Date Night In

This post is sponsored by Date Night In.

Remember when date nights consisted of dressing up, going to a nice quiet restaurant, gazing into each others eyes, eating a gourmet meal, taking a romantic stroll on the beach, and finishing it with ice cream and a romantic kiss? Wait, does this only happen in the movies? No, but seriously, it used to be so easy to go on dates. Now, with a five month old and exhaustion after a long day parenting, date nights don’t seem to happen all that often.

I honestly thought date nights were a thing of the past. Luckily, there is Date Night In Box that can make it happen, realistically. Date Night In is a creative customized box that includes a fun experience for you and your loved one to take part in at home. Each Date Night In box includes memorable activities that are interactive and meaningful, yummy treats, and special surprises to set the mood for you and your loved one to grow together and create lasting memories.

So with that, Glen and I put on our PJs and enjoyed an evening with just the two of us! Don’t worry, Marleigh was upstairs sleeping! We had the monitor next to us the whole time.

Take A Peek Inside

I was so excited when our first Date Night In Box came to my doorstep. The theme for our first box was Key to my Heart. For each box, it includes an itinerary to help guide you through your date. It also includes a fun playlist for you to have as background music to set the mood and a recipe that is optional for you to make for dinner and dessert. Last but not least, it has all the items that will be necessary to complete your date and the activities for the night.

First off, Glen and I took some time completing the Five Love Language Quiz on our own.

The results didn’t really come as a shock for us! Being married for almost four years, Glen and I both know I am all for words of affirmation and quality time and he is all for physical touch and acts of service. After we took the questionnaire, we then wrote each other a love note! It was sweet to see Glen work so hard on his letter to me. (Spoiler alert: Later that evening, I cried as a I read it!)

For the main portion of our date, we had an in-home escape room. Our dining room transformed into 1900s Paris and we were on a mission to find our long lost love. We had to crack the codes and solve the mystery to find where in the world and at what time we would meet up. Glen was pretty smart during the escape room and definitely helped solve the clues the fastest! It was fun to think a little and bounce ideas off of each other. I kept us organized and Glen solved the clues.

We then found our true love and moved onto the next activity- the password game. Let’s just say Glen had some trouble with the French words so this game did not end up so well. However, we laughed the whole time and I couldn’t help but love him even more. I’m just saying, Glen might not want to visit France until he works on his French knowledge!

We finished the night with a movie! No French kissing - Glen was way to invested in Les Miserables for that and I passed out on the couch five minutes in. We love Date Night In and the ability to grow our love and challenge it without leaving the house!

xoxo,

Jeana Hughes

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Reality Check

You know in baseball when all the bases are loaded and the last man comes up to bat. He seems so calm and collected but you know there is a lot of pressure for him to hit a home run because those potential points are dependent on him not striking out. I may not play baseball but I can only imagine that feeling. Well- that is about to become my reality. I am about to see what it means to take on the pressure of the team and lead us to a big win!

For the first five months of Marleigh’s life I have been very fortunate to have my husband by my side. Many military moms have to bear the pain of labor with their partner across the country and go through the first exhausting months on their own. I know service members who did not meet their child until they were six months old. Can you imagine missing out on the first few months of your child life? Those woman show true strength when it comes to facing motherhood. Although I had my husband with me the first few months, these next few years are going to test my ability as a mother more than I can imagine.

My husband is slated to attend Drill Instructor school and become a DI for the next few years. My knowledge on being a DI wife is not very extensive and comes from conversations with other moms who have experienced it. Lets just say it will not be full of roses and daisies for me. I’ve learned that your husband essentially checks out for three months and will have a week to spend with you after those initial weeks. The three months gone and one week home corresponds with the cycles that the recruits go through. Although there will be moments when he is home, parenting and tedious tasks will not be his focus. When life starts getting busy and things get put on our plate, the important parenting decisions will be left up to me. This change in life is scary and daunting, but it is the commitment I made when I married my husband. It can be done as many military mama’s have done this before me (or wives who’s spouses work demanding jobs), but nonetheless, when you have had constant support it can be nerve wrecking. Being a military wife demands a sense of independence and in these next few years, this will be crucial.

How My Husband And I Plan To Cope

My husband and I have talked about how we plan to parent with him being away for majority of the next few years. It all comes down to communication - doesn’t it always? There will be moments when we can talk, so the BIG decisions will be made together in a quick phone call or the weeks that he is home. For discipling and raising our child, we have discussed what we want as parents. We put together rules we want in our home, ideas that we think are most beneficial, and we create a parenting plan that is a mix of us both. We have tried to focus on what we find most important and blend them together in a way that I can try to work with. Will this happen? I am going to try my best, but I am only human and I may make mistakes. My husband is putting a lot of trust in me to raise our child the way we both want and I will do my best to do that. He also understands that life is messy and it doesn’t go according to plan and sometimes I will have to do what I think is best.

Transitioning back to Co-Parenting

While my husband is away, I often fall into a pattern. We create a routine and life just carries on day to day. This happened when my husband was deployed and I was away at school. When he comes home, we always have to work to find a routine that works for us both. We always try to remind ourselves that we now have to work with each other to make plans and take each other into consideration, as before we were only worrying about our own schedule. We have always made sure to have realistic expectations for each other as well. I never expect him to just jump and hit the ground running, but he also knows that he has other responsibilities that he has to take on when he is home. We can’t be selfish and self-focused like when we are on our own. It changes even more when you have a child. When he get home we can kind of figure out who is going to do what and who take on specific responsibilities. I usually give him a few days to relax and get back to reality and then we go from there. I assume (again this will be new for the both of us) that we will keep this strategy for when he his home. I will definitely give him his space and not put great expectations on him when he first is home. I will give him the space he needs to figure it out. I find it more important for him to have more moments spending quality time with our daughter and finding himself in the daddy role then focusing on the nitty gritty parts of marriage (like my usual honey-do list!) As much as we need to focus on one another and our relationship, I want his focus when he walks into the door to find rest and time for our daughter.

Reality

The reality of the situation is that our life is unique and different, not many can relate too. Our priority is making sure that our daughter is overwhelmingly loved and understands that just because her Daddy is busy does not mean he is not taking on the parenting role. It is my commitment to include her father in my parenting and explain to her that. Although I will be taking on the role while Daddy is away providing for our family, I will do my best that she has a sense of us both. I promise there will be times when we fall short, we might argue, and we might get overwhelmed. I may increase my expectations and want him to decompress faster. I might take my stress out on him even when he has other priorities he is focusing on. He might come in and parent different and change our routine. There is a good chance at times we might not have it all together. That is life and that is learning to navigate parenthood together. I can also promise you that we will figure this out together with out daughters best interest as our priority. We will work together to understand parenthood in this situation and do our best. This is life is crazy but we are doing it together.

Xoxo,

Jeana

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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I love you, but I resent you.

Pregnancy and kids can put a lot of pressure on a marriage. I learned that first hand in the first few weeks of having Marleigh. To be honest, it wasn’t my husband doing anything wrong – in fact, he was doing everything right. He was helping with the diapers, supporting me during my breastfeeding struggles, holding the baby to let me nap, and showing his unconditional love to me. So why was I struggling?

You often hear about Post-Partum Stress Disorder or the Baby Blues that can happen after you have the baby. Your hormones can be a bit unbalanced, you’re exhausted on a whole new level, you’re overwhelmed with a new role in life, and this causes a change in you. Many have this idea that PPSD is sadness, lost or disparity, a depressive somber mood – ya know, the common side effects that we associate with depression. At least, that is what came to my mind when I thought of it. I honestly had no clue besides whatever was on the questionnaire at the doctor’s office. Every time I would go, they would ask if I was crying without a reason, felt lonely or lost, or if I felt like I didn’t want my child. My answer to all of these questions were no. I didn’t cry except the time I cried because I felt defeated as a mom due to breastfeeding (that's a pretty good reason). I loved my child, she made me so happy and holding her was exactly what I wanted to do every day. I felt like I had a purpose and a great support system – so from that questionnaire I was never labeled with PPSD. Except there was something that was weighing on me and I soon found out that was a common component of PPSD. I feel like something that is often not talked about enough is that you may resent your spouse. Yes, you heard that right – RESENT.

My husband was doing everything for me. He was the #1 dad and it made me so happy, but I often found myself scrutinizing him. He would go to work and come home and I would just unload on him. I would tell him he wasn’t doing enough, I would criticize any mistake he made, and I just found myself trying to keep up with our old life and put all the weight on me. I realized he was doing enough, but it wasn’t enough for me. I was the one in the wrong and I was putting it all on my husband. I was envious, jealous, and possibly a little tired and my husband was the perfect person to place the blame on.

One night, I finally sat down with Glen and just told him how I was feeling. That is the key to getting through this – communication. I believe if I was not completely honest with my husband, we would have had a strain on our marriage. Of course, no husband wants to hear that their wife is annoyed with them and possibly resenting them, but it was my feelings. I know my emotions were way out of whack, but I also knew I had to tell him to move past this. I explained that I was jealous that he got to go to work and have a break from being a parent. I told him that I felt like I was putting so much pressure to keep up with what I was doing prior to Marleigh that I was feeling weighed down. I needed help cleaning the house, cooking dinners, and just doing the day to day chores. I felt like he didn’t have to change his lifestyle because of Marleigh but I was confined to our home. Every emotion I had, I laid on the table and just vented. It felt good – it felt really good. Not just to admit the truth to him, but to admit it to myself. I was finally seeing the real reasons why I was blaming my husband - to hide the insecurities that I was trying to hide myself. He listened and together we figured out a solution. He opted to do more around the house and verbalize what he was doing. He made sure I knew what he was trying to do because I was personally overlooking the good he was doing and focusing on the negative. It seems silly, but it was something that I needed. He took Marleigh so I could grocery shop alone or go for a run and take a break. Again, he was doing a lot of this before we had the talk but now, I was seeing it.

For me, this only lasted a week or so. Had it continued, I would have definitely reached out for help. You see there are so many ways you can experience PPSD and sometimes it’s you taking out your feelings on your spouse. I felt like I was losing the time to do things I enjoyed and I felt like only my world was flipping upside down and it was easiest to take it out on him. Luckily, my husband is my rock and he understood. He didn’t judge me or fight back, he helped me. When I felt overwhelmed, he would take our daughter and let me sit quietly on our porch. He would ask me what I was feeling and try to help me overcome my struggles. It honestly put pressure on our marriage, but it made our connection that much stronger. It is important to continue to communicate with your partner and talk about the hardships. If you keep them in the dark, they cannot help you. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself because once you are at your limit, you will explode. Once I was open and honest with my husband, I started to feel better and this resentment I was creating in my head went away. I was able to focus on my child and I was so much happier in our marriage. This experience showed me that the love I have with my husband is strong and that our foundation of honesty could carry us through any struggle. If you feel resentment towards your spouse, don’t feel ashamed. It can happen and the sooner you tell them about it in a calm setting, the better you can overcome these feelings. If you can’t do it on your own, do not be afraid to talk to your doctor. It will get better over time, that I know now.

I am forever grateful for the love, support, and understanding that Glen shows. This Valentine’s Day is spent celebrating the love between my husband and I and the obstacles we overcome together. We celebrate the ability for our love to change over time and to grow deeper and wiser. I hope the same for you! You are not alone in your feelings. Post-partum is a rollercoaster of highs and low, but together with your spouse, you can get through anything.

XOXO,

Jeana

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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20 Things I Wish I Knew

You’re pregnant and having a baby. For some of you, this is a dream come true and you have waited for this moment. For others, you are staring at the test in disbelief. I think I was a bit of both. I was so excited to be pregnant, but my mind was also in a million different places. What was happening next? I wish there was a “You’re pregnant - For Dummies…”. I am sure there is a book like this but I am too lazy to go searching for it and I lack the patience to fully read it to find the generic textbook pregnancy answers. If you’re like me, you want the truth and facts up front. People often sugar coat pregnancy, but if you are anything like me, you want to know what it is really like. The good, the bad, the ugly -SPILL. So buckle up and enjoy the ride! Here are a few things I didn't know . . .

20 Things I Wish I Knew

The doctors don't come in until the baby is about to crown. You and your L&D nurse do most of the work together. When she has your legs situated, you will begin to push. If it is anything like me, the practice pushes are the real deal. Those pushes are just the first couple to help you figure out what to do. So don’t panic when she says lets go and there are no doctors around. Once you baby is in a certain position, then a team of doctors will come in. *This is at least how it was for me.

You might get stretch marks or a black line down your belly. Your body is changing rapidly and sometimes the creams and oils just don’t help.

Don’t over pack your hospital bag. Just pack the essentials because you wont need to much while you are there.

Your hormones are all over the place, during pregnancy and after birth. I broke out in hives when I found out, my leg hair started growing really slowly, and my emotions were all over the place. If you have changes, its likely the hormones.

Your birth plan might not be what happens the day of. I can attest to that - My husband and I were preparing for my labor. It happened so fast that our two friends that were visiting got stuck in the room. It is a funny story to look back on!

You might go number 2 when in labor- LIKE I MEAN YOU MAY POOP. You practically are pushing like you are using the restroom. They know this might happen and they will quickly remove it so you don’t even know. If your husband is like mine, he will tell you if you do. Luckily I didn’t or else I wouldn't hear the end of it!

If you get an epidural, you never see the needle. They simply put it in your back while you are staring in your partner’s eyes. There were like three vibrations with mild pressure that went up my back and that was that. It might not work at first or at all - it all just depends.

You might wear a nursing gown, you might get naked, you might be dressed and covered. It just depends on how your labor process goes. I would wear the nursing gown the hospital provides though because it does get a little messy.

You see all those ladies post partum - leaving the hospital and looking ADORABLE. What you do not see is what is happening underneath it all. They are probably wearing a diaper and feeling like S*@!. They have bleeding - and most likely there is a lot. If you have a vaginal delivery, there is a lot of stuff going on down there. I would bring loose clothing and make sure it is comfy because you will have either a diaper, pads, and cooling pads and you still have a tummy when you head home. Sorry, that belly doesn’t disappear overnight. I looked about 4 months pregnant when I left the hospital.

Push time may be hours or it could be 40 minutes and 10 contractions later.

GOODBYE TMI. Prepare to say things you would never imagine saying- like my poop comment up there. Also, prepare for everyone to be looking at your lady goods. You will not be shy and if you are - get over it. No, when the time comes, you will only be thinking about having that baby.

The first potty time: Okay, after I had Marleigh I just wanted to shower. I quickly showered and then a nurse came in and said she needed a sample of my urine. Peeing is no joke when you just had a baby and you feel like everything is going to fall out. I was so scared to sit down. Don’t be ashamed to have the nurse help you walk to the bathroom. Also, have your nice Frida bottle with warm water ready to help ease the sting. Going #2… Yeah that is also scary and you will be uncomfortable. Like I said, you feel like everything is about to fall out. Don't worry- it doesn't. Also it is messy down there- remember that too. So the bathroom might get a little messy too.

Baby poop: I knew the first poo was a thick, dark, poo but I did not realize it would be tough like tar to get off the babies bottom. It also lasted a few days. If you have a girl as well, she might have a “baby period” - so prepare for that. Nothing scary, just kind of weird.

Say goodbye to a lot of cute clothes - Nursing friendly outfits can be difficult to find. I figured once I had the baby and lost the weight, I would go back to wearing my cute dresses, rompers, etc. Rain check on those outfits now sitting in the back of my closet. You will be wearing clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty and that are nursing friendly. Unless you formula feed or exclusively pump, you will need easy access to your boobs.

Breastfeeding- I don't know how to explain the feeling of a letdown when you first get your supply and go into oversupply. Mine was like a painful, but relieving feeling (Is this how It feels for everyone?). Also just be careful for clog ducts and mastitis - I haven’t had it yet but I have heard it is very common and is SO painful. If you go through your first night with baby sleeping and miss a feeding, your boobs may be lumpy, super full, or leaking like you wet the bed.

You might get a hernia- before the baby or after. If you do, prepare to use the restroom for up to 30 minutes SWEATING and for some blood to be apparent. Not everything is beautiful when you are pregnant.

Prepare to overthink and doubt yourself, and when you think you finally found a solution, prepare to doubt yourself again. I swear making decisions seems daunting and impossible when it is a decision for your child.

This one is kind of nice: You do get some sleep with a newborn while in the hospital. You wake up quite often to feed and people coming in and out- but you can find time to sleep with the help of nurses and whoever is there to support you. What I didn't realize is that I was so lost in admiring my baby, I didn’t use that time to sleep wisely. USE IT IF YOU CAN. Once you go home, there is no help or sleep from there. I thought life would be like it was in the hospital when I went home but that was not the case. Bye bye sleep. The exhaustion is real the first few weeks. I would dream I was feeding Marleigh and then wake up and she wasn’t there. I would panic and realize she was sleeping in her crib.

During labor and the first few weeks home, you might see a new side to your partner. I swear I fell in love with my husband all over again. He had these emotions all over his face when she was born and had her first cry and then his face changed when we drove home. Then, again his demeanor changed the first time she fell asleep in her crib and then cried at 1am. It was like each emotion was completely new and I have never seen it before. It was an experience I can’t explain, but my heart will always remember.

When you go home, it might feel a little weird. You are happy, but its kind of like WOAH. This is real now. I kind of felt like I was sitting on the couch unsure of everything, but it will become a new norm. Your home will start to feel like your home again.

XOXO,

Jeana

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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My Difficult Decision

FED IS BEST.

I am starting there because it is the truth. Whether you formula feed, breast feed, or exclusively pump, feeding your child is what is truly important. You should never be ashamed of how you feed your child, because they only care about one thing- F O O D. There are many people who make mothers feel ashamed for wanting to give formula and there are some who make others feel ashamed for being advocates for breastfeeding. I am here to tell you, no matter what you believe is best, you have the right to feel that way. It is your opinion and you are given that right to think freely. However, we should support all mothers choosing to feed their child. I also want to share that I support all types of feeding! I had my own personal difficulties, which made me a stronger mother and showed me that there is no right way to feed. I can’t say I was so at ease with doing both at the beginning. I I was lying to myself. I grew as an individual during those first few weeks. I learned what was truly important in this entire process.

To be honest with you, feeding was the toughest thing about motherhood for me. I struggled on deciding how to feed my child. The lack of sleep, hormonal pregnancy blues, and just not knowing what I was doing made the choice that much more difficult for me. I even tried to search the internet for answers, but that was definitely not the solution for a topic like this.

When I was pregnant, I would always tell people “I am going to breastfeed, but if it doesn’t work then I am going to formula feed.” I wish I was this nonchalant once the time came. The first week at home I was breastfeeding. It was practical, free, and my body was producing so why not do it. Little did I know that this natural, organic way to feed your child was HARD. It was no walk in the park, especially because Marleigh had jaundice and was always tired. I second guessed myself all the time. Was I giving her enough food or was she falling asleep to fast? Was she latching correctly? Honestly, I lacked confidence when it came to feeding. I also feared feeding in public and it was clouding my mind. I was simply a mess.

I literally laid on my staircase one day, crying in my husband’s arms about how I couldn’t breastfeed. It was consuming my every thought and I just didn’t think I was doing it right. I would go to support groups and they would say I was doing great, but I would go home and feel like I was doing it all wrong. We sat there as I just cried over this dilemma. Finally, Glen said “Ok no more doing this to yourself, go buy formula.” When he said that my stomach was in knots. I felt sick. How could I give her formula? Yet a week ago, I was saying that it would be no problem. It was tough for me and I didn’t want to admit it. He was right though; my mental health was more important for me so I could focus on my child and less on feeding.

I did tons of research on both types of feeding and messaged a lot of friends of mine who formula fed and breastfeed thinking they had the answers. By the end of it and my head spinning from all the information. I went to the store to purchase formula. I came home and made a bottle at her next feeding. I felt so relieved as she drank an entire bottle and not at all ashamed of what I was doing. She was eating and I was able to see how much she had. A missed feeding later though, my chest was sore from not being drained and I was back to doubting myself. Did I do the right thing? Am I making the biggest mistake? I was back to rock bottom, overthinking and doubting. Why was I doing this to myself? Looking back, I can definitely say the post partum blues hit me. I was not confident and had limited knowledge on feeding, I was exhausted, and I was so overwhelmed. I just wanted to do what was best for my daughter but I could not think straight. I didn’t have the answers and it took a lot out of me.

The turning point . . .

With all this going through my mind, I called a local lactation consultant and made an appointment. I did a weighted feeding and she told me all the things I wanted to hear. “You are doing so well breastfeeding. She ate almost 3 oz. in one feeding! You are doing awesome! Your supply is very high!” It went well and I gained back my confidence but I still also remembered the relief I felt after her formula feeding. I told all of this to my consultant and she understood. She said “However you feed her, it doesn’t matter. If you feel relieved and calm with formula feeding, I can tell you how to diminish your supply. If you continue to breastfeed, then keep doing exactly what you are doing.” Hearing someone whose job was focused on breastfeeding tell me that its okay to formula feed made me realize how crazy I was making myself.

I was being a hypocrite saying fed was best, but I couldn’t accept going to formula feeding. She made me realize that there is no right way to feed her. I went home and made a pro-con list . After sitting with my husband and going over the list, I made the decision to continue breastfeeding. Yet, I kept the formula just in case I needed it. I was no longer hesitant about giving her formula if I found myself continuing to doubt my breastfeeding ability.

I think it is important to tell new mothers that it’s okay to support both types of feeding. Heck, it is ok for you to exclusively pump. (That is a whole other story filled with time dedication and strength. I also applaud those mamas that can stick with it!). It is okay to be anxious about ending your journey breastfeeding and questioning if you are making the right decision. It is okay to never start one and go straight to formula. Feeding is tough and how you decide to feed is not an easy decision. It was not just the type of feeding that was overwhelming, I was honestly just scared to not make the best decision for my child. I was caring too much and overwhelmed that I was not thinking clearly. I let it get the best of me.

The best part of this hardship is that I had mothers supporting me to formula feed and those same mothers were cheering me on when I decided to keep breastfeeding. I never felt more love from the motherhood community. Do not feel bad if you want to end your breastfeeding journey. Do not feel ashamed if you choose to feed your child breastmilk in public. Do not worry what others think if you are formula feeding. Do not feel bad about being upset if you have to end your journey breastfeeding to formula feed. We all have different emotions when it comes to feeding and yours are justified. We all have our opinions and undergo different feelings when it comes to our personal journey. As long as your child is fed, you are doing it right mama. Stop worrying so much because at the end of the day it takes away from your focus of your child. My first week was spent crying about feeding and not soaking in all the newborn goodness. Although it was a major time of growth for me as a mother, it also was a lot of tears that I was trying to hold in and stress building up.

If you are struggling with the decision to pursue formula feeding or breastfeeding, I am going to share my pro-con list. It may be a little different for you, but this helped me decide which one was best fit for me. You can do this mama, no matter what you decide!

Breast Feeding

Pro

-Free

-Easy Clean up

-Helps my body prevent diabetes after having GD

-Natural Antibodies

-Can’t overfeed with cluster feeding

Con

-Feeding in public (This was tough for me to overcome!)

-Uncertainty of the amount of ounces given

-Soreness

-Marleigh can only be fed by me, unless I choose to pump (not recommended for first six weeks)

Formula

Pro

-Easy to make

-Best for on the go and feeding in public

-You can measure feeding

-Others can feed Marleigh

Con

-Costly

-Could potentially overfeed

-Have to go through the drying up process

Exclusive Breastfeeding

Pro

-Giving breastmilk in a bottle

-Great for public feeding and on the go situations but still providing breastmilk

Cons

-Always pumping on a schedule - Very time consuming

-Difficult for days when we are on the go

-Cleaning process for the parts

There are so many things you can add to your lists, but this was the basics for me. You might not be scared to feed in public or you might have subsidies to help pay the costs of formula. Everyone’s circumstances are different. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to stress. If you choose to breastfeed, find a local support group. They will do weekly weigh in’s and will provide support. I love my breastfeeding group and still go even though she is 4 months old. Be confident in your decision, be happy, and enjoy it.

XOXO,

Jeana

#breastfeeding #fedisbest #momlife #formulafed #babyfed #momsupportingmoms

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Recovering in Bliss

There is this saying that many moms go by and it is “Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids”. I think I reread this quote on fifty million mom blogs as I was preparing for my little one. Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I did see this quote often and it is so true. Post-partum care is very important when you first come home. If you are not well, you will find it difficult to take care of a needy little one. Newborns are a lot of work. Your days turn from 12 hour days to 24 hour days and you sleep when you can. Your needs get put on the back-burner as you stress over your little one. By being prepared for this recovery phase, you will be prepared to care for yourself stress-free and be able to put your focus on your new little one.

When you get home from the hospital, you are in this foggy haze of “WTF”. The initial shock of your baby’s arrival is over (Well I don’t know if it is ever over but it sure has set in), the nurses are gone to help you out, and its show time. You have just given birth to the most precious human, but your body is at the beginning stages of recovery. It just went through some major trauma of giving birth – and how miraculous that is. It’s going to take some time to adjust and go back to normal. I don’t think I felt normal until around week 3. I don’t think I went to the restroom like normal until about 5 weeks. (One thing you learn, TMI does not apply to someone who had a baby. Just get ready to talk about things you never would have thought about.) Everyone’s recovery time is going to be different depending on your labor story, but one thing we have in common – We Must Heal.

When you get home, you are experiencing so many emotions and the last thing you want to think about is the pain your body just endured. My recovery phase, I will not lie, was very easy. I think this is because my labor was very quick and easy. Marleigh only weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and her head circumference was very small. I was in labor for 40 minutes with an epidural and within 10 pushes, little miss made her arrival. I am extremely thankful and blessed for such a wonderful labor, which made my recovery much easier. There were definite moments I was uncomfortable and using the restroom was scary, but the pain subsided pretty quickly and the bleeding stopped within a couple weeks. I was very fortunate in that department. I had a mild first-degree tear and needed only a couple stitches. I am very thankful because my husband had to go straight back to work, so I was out of help for most part of the days. I give so much credit to the mothers out there that have a child all alone! It was tough work just to have the days to myself, I couldn’t imagine never getting any relief. You mamas are stronger than you could ever imagine. However, I had quite a few friends who had children in the months prior to me and they all gave me their stories and prepared me for the worst. My one friend was in labor for hours and ended up having an emergency C-section. Another friend had a third-degree tear and a hernia to follow. I had heard all the stories and wanted to be prepared. You can never fully “prepare” for your labor and how your body will react, but there are some essentials I found important for all of us that you can have on deck. There are other items that I would have in your Amazon Prime account ready in case you need that two-day shipping. Also, if you don’t have Prime, I HIGHLY SUGGEST getting this. You will be surprised how many items you might come across needing in a quick time and it is so convenient in the first few weeks when you do not want to leave the house! Also, Walmart grocery delivery service. Totally off topic, but this is such a wonderful service while you are sitting in your home recovering. Back to a healthy recovery:

I am a very big on creating list. I list my day to day errands, my shopping needs, my cleaning routine, everything. I create a list and it helps keep me organized. You will see that on many of my posts, I create a list for you because this helps me think. Today, I am going to list out some post-partum supplies that may be helpful to have on deck to help you during the recovery phase.

Postpartum Supplies:

1. Frida Bottle: The bottle the hospital gave me was just a generic bottle that really helps none whatsoever. This bottle is so amazing because you can fill it up with warm water and the spout curves up for easy use and easy spray for when you have to use the restroom. I bought two of these so I could have one in each restroom of my house. I also put this in my hospital bag and I am so thankful I did. This saved me in the hospital when I had to use the restroom.

2. Tucks Pads: These are very nice and cooling. They are also very helpful if you get a hernia after labor!

3. Dermaplast: I bought one can of this to bring to the hospital. I started using it right away! It kind of numbs you down there to help easy discomfort.

4. Heating Pad: This helped with my back pain. I was in back labor and then had the epidural. I was just kind of sore from it all so it was nice to have when I got home to lay on. The hospital may provide a heating pack for you when you are there.

5. Adult Diapers/Mesh Undies: This is a preference thing of what you are more comfortable with. I use all the mesh undies and pads the hospital gave me until I ran out. Since I was very active post recovery and, on the go, I very much liked having the adult diapers because I could put it on and just change when I needed too. It was much easier to change the whole diaper than make sure the two pads were in the mesh undies! Again, I did both but having some pads and diapers on hand is easy.

6. Nipple Cream: I was very fortunate again and did not have any cracks or bleeding! They do get sore though, so this was nice to put on them and just massage it in. I also would put breast milk on the nipple and let it air dry. This is nice to have just in case your little one does have a tough latch at first! If you are formula feeding, you will not have to worry too much about this!

7. Herbal Perineal Spray (Earth Mama)- This also helps discomfort down there and can be used when using the restroom or after a bath! Just some extra care for down there!

8. Wipes: I had wipes just to help clean after using the restroom and the bleeding went down. It’s a lot of pat cleaning for the first few weeks due to the stitches.

9. Comfy PJ’s or Clothing: You probably already have this but make sure it is easy to get too! You do not want to have to worry about clothes the first few weeks! Relax, take it easy.

Helpful tip: TAKE AS MANY SUPPLIES AS YOU CAN FROM THE HOSPITAL. My nurse was all for giving me extra supplies during my discharge. She gave me tons of extra pads, mesh undies, cold packs, and heating pads to help. The hospital also gave me one thing of Dermaplast and hernia cream upon discharge (as I mentioned above, I brought the Dermaplast to use right away!)

There are so many products out there. These are products that I had on hand that really helped for my recovery and many of those around me! I know if you have a C-Section, a belly band is very helpful with the scar healing!

Also, self-healing is not just taking care of your body with products. It is taking it easy, sleeping, and making it a priority to find some time to relax! If someone offers help, TAKE IT. Grocery shop online! If you have a two-story house, put a diaper changing station downstairs and put an extra set of the products in the downstairs bath in a basket. If you are anything like me, these tips are useless. You are going to continue to live life normally. In all seriousness, try to enjoy these days and put less stress on yourself. Let your family, spouse, partner, or friends do some work for you! Do not feel bad! Your body just endured so much, you deserve it.

Let yourself heal.

Xoxo,

Jeana

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