Forgot about non-uniform day til after Zoe got dressed 😂🙈 . #facepalm #mumfail #momfail #parentingfail #parenthumor #parentinghumor #parentingwithhumor #parenthumour #parentinghumour #parentingwithhumour #momhumor #mumhumour #momhumour #parentingmemes #parenting #honestparenthood #parentingrealities https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp4fnEgsJMt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

My mom recommended this mystery to me because of the "great" main character, who is, as it turns out, fat. It's mentioned constantly: when she eats dinner, it's "fattening pasta"; when she gets in a car, she has a "morbid fear" that the seatbelt won't fit. Because she is...omg...175 pounds! Soooo faaat! All her clothes are dark and loose, not because she likes them but because fat people can't wear colours. And on and on.

She's also single (of course) and forty and has cats, which she's embarrassed about for some reason. I thought maybe the book was from the 90s or something, but its pub date is 2009.

And the back cover blurbs talk about her "confidence"? Maybe because she doesn't just curl up into a ball and die? Like, okay, she's confident about her job, but it's really undercut by her constant self-criticism about her size.

I don't know if she gets over her internalized fatphobia in the rest of the book, because I only got 50 pages in before I couldn't take it anymore. But even if the author doesn't agree with the character's self-loathing (which I kind of doubt), I personally don't care to read a book that reminds me every few pages that the mc and the people around her see her fatness as aberrant and pathetic, especially when she's considerably thinner than me.

Someday I'm going to write a mystery with a female protag who's fat, middle-aged, single, and DOES NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK.

She might even have cats.

Palutena is literally momfail blud blew up her kitchen

so real

When you buy 5 tickets to @jacobcollier for his biggest fan’s birthday last year not realizing it’s also going to be the busiest week of the year. momfail or momwin? Two exhausted high schoolers off to school this morning with huge oral presentations and a track meet and one college kid sleeping off the glory that was last night. Parents, bleary eyed but happy to have watched them have that experience. ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CdGS7dsuwGa/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

This is what happens when you ask a mom to help fix your earbuds lol 😂 🤣 #osteogenesisimperfecta #brittlebonedisease #brittlebones #momfail #powerbeatspro #wheelchairlife #wheelchairuser #joke #findthejoyinthelittlethings #findthejoy #joy #joyful #joyfulliving #findthejoyineveryday #lol #electronic #buds #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #bloggerlife #vlog #vlogger #vlogs #blog #blogs #blogsofinstagram #vloggerlife #vlogging #vloggers #vloggerslife https://www.instagram.com/p/CNYIy_9n1jg/?igshid=a24efefb9pe3

Me: I’ll get the mini ice cream sandwiches, they have fewer calories

Also me: eats three of them at a time

‪So I let my girls watch Miss Americana tonight and I was tentative only due to some of the language, sure enough the scene at the Kanye concert comes and “F*ck Taylor Swift” comes on the screen and my 7 yo immediately says “Mom what does f*ck mean?” 🤦‍♀️😂@taylornation @taylorswift

Why tf my mom keeps asking personal questions to strangers like plumbers, electricians who come to our house to fix stuff. Who cares if the plumber has a girlfriend!!#??

So, my family and I were stuck in our car for nearly 3 hours due to the heavy downpour and consequent flooding on the roads. Naturally, everyone was annoyed asf. No one was talking at all when suddenly my mom- who's hella frustrated -yells, "WE'RE FUCKED!" and IMMEDIATELY THE NEXT SECOND she started HUMMING a song with a smile on her face and if that isn't an accurate representation of how I approach college life then idrk what describes it best. I feel this in my bones.

There's nothing worse than wishing you had it all together...

Just picked up Jake's lunchbox and it's not been emptied over half term. I'm almost scared to look inside! 😩🙈 . #mumfail #momfail #parentingfail #parentingstruggles #mumstruggles #momstruggles #honestmom #honestparent #honestmum #thestruggleisreal #parenthumor #parentinghumor #parentingwithhumor #parenthumour #parentinghumour #parentingwithhumour #humour #humor #momhumor #mumhumour #momhumour #parentingmemes #parenting #adoption #adoptivefamily #honestmotherhood https://www.instagram.com/p/Co29zRRMgAR/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Help

My kid is 4 years old smart as ever but NOW he thinks he can walk all over his momma!! Oh hell to the no. He will not be like today's teens disrespecting me and thinking it's ok to talk back. I put that boy nose to the wall real quick!!!

@LegalNinjaRoth: Why am I such a careful driver with my new car rather than with my two kids? #momfail #2019Rav4Hybrid @Toyota

http://twitter.com/LegalNinjaRoth

I hate my mother 😤 she neglects everything I do, I can't do anything wrong, nor even "not quite right but it still works", I have no plade for a mistake, I have to always be perfect. Mom! I'M NOT A ROBOT 🤖!

Other people: Kids say the darndest things.

Me: No, my kid is just rude.

Throwback to the kitten days....