#might very much go reread to FINALLY start on the sequel
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JANUARY 2024 WRAP UP
[loved liked ok DNF (reread) bookclub*]
Mammoths at the Gates • An Impossible Imposter • Greywaren • The Hexologists • Mister Impossible • Reclaiming Two Spirits • (Check, Please: #Hockey)* • Thornhedge • Call Down the Hawk • All the Hidden Paths • All the Beauty in the World • (The Raven King) • (A Strange and Stubborn Endurance) • (Blue Lily, Lily Blue) • The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie • The Missing Page • Bird By Bird • Lucky Red • Portrait of a Thief
I suppose I may as well start with the giant pile of Maggie Stiefvater and get that out of the way, lol. According to Goodreads, this was at least my 3rd time through the entire Raven Cycle. Despite that, I had only the vaguest idea of what happened in the last two books, and now having reread them (again), yeah, that tracks! I can hang with book 3 but I have no idea what was really going on in The Raven King, and as a series finale I didn't love it. It felt a lot like the dreamer plotlines drowned out the original Glendower and ley line story that we started with. But, Maggie being Maggie, I love the way she writes so much that I at least still enjoyed the reading experience. And it made an incredibly clear lead-in to the Dreamer Trilogy (which I had not read), it made total sense, I was hopeful! Again, Maggie being Maggie, I had a good time reading them, I liked learning more about the Lynch brothers, I'm always down for some art forgery, but I just didn't really like it and (while I'm glad for Maggie that she was able to write it) I could have lived without it. It completely did not have the vibe or charm of TRC and, criminally, did not include the Gangsey. How!!!!
The Missing Page - liked it! It felt a lot more solid as a mystery than the first book, which I greatly appreciated, though the villagers in the first book were maybe a bit more fun. I'm not feeling particularly inspired to go look up more Cat Sebastian after this, but if she writes another one of these I'd read it.
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie - I've had this one on my mystery tbr for a while, and for some reason I'd thought it was set in a much earlier time period than the 1950's? lol. Our protagonist is the youngest of 3 sisters growing up in genteel poverty with an absent father, and she has the run of the village, the house, and an incredibly well stocked chemistry lab left by an ancestor. She is both incredibly clever and terribly naive, and absolutely terrifying because of it. Flavia is fascinating as a detective, because she's not written as the protagonist of a middle grade mystery novel - she's a child. This was an interesting read, but I'm not sure it's what I'm looking for in a mystery novel and I don't think I'll continue the series.
A Strange and Stubborn Endurance - reread this in advance of the sequel - it was a bit easier to see some flaws this time around, but had a good time! This *was* my first time listening to it on audio though, and I'm not sure I'd recommend it. It had a different person reading for each of the main characters and their voices just didn't pair well for me - not to mention one of them also read Lev AC Rosen's Lavender House and boy does he do some distinctive character voices.
All the Hidden Paths - didn't go quite so well. I think primarily my mental space was not pairing well with the tensions of reading this for the first time, I do think on a reread I might like it better. Somehow the spy/saboteur was my favorite character? He was soo bad at his job, I found it very funny. But overall, I think it was just a little too close to a rehash of the plot from the first book, leaving me to think Meadows might not be the best at writing mysteries. Luckily it does at least score high on my romance scale.
All the Beauty in the World: The Metropolitan Museum of Art and Me - first nonfic of the year! I've been eagerly anticipating my library getting an audio copy ever since I first heard about this last year, it sounded cool, I'm fascinated by art museums and behind-the-scenes! Unfortunately I was not into it, and almost 2 months on I can't remember enough to even try to tell you why. It did pair interestingly with another recent read, The Mixed Up Files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler, but I'm still learning how far into memoir territory I can go. Someone stop me from trying the other Met nonfic book I found recently lol.
Thornhedge - wonderful! No notes! I love fairy tales and this was a delight to read.
Check, Please! #Hockey - loved getting to revisit this for book club! I've been meaning to for a few years, because y'all. I've read so much fanfic, and I have no idea what is in the comic, what Ngozi posted as extras, and what is fanon. The comic had less than I was expecting! Still fun, my fellow book-clubber liked it, but my real love was the tweets! I'll definitely try to read Vol 2 this year so I can then browse the larger collection of them compiled in the Chirpbook.
Reclaiming Two Spirits: I saw this one on tumblr and fortunately was able to get access to the audiobook! It's a topic I was very interested in learning more about, and I did! But - this is a research project, more than anything, it could be very repetitive (which, fair. colonizers suck), and it felt distanced from its subject. I feel it's a book that definitely has its place, but it's not objectively a 'good read,' and I'd rather have had something from someone who is indigenous and two-spirit themselves.
The Hexologists - it has its quirks, but this was unapologetically a delight to read and I had a fun time! I'm a sucker for a world with a magic vs industrial revolution, not to mention a married pair of established investigators, and I always appreciate an author who's willing to get a bit silly. If there's ever more books I'd love to read them!
An Impossible Imposter - she is what she is, I had a good time! This one felt like it might have taken some inspo from The Moonstone 👀
Mammoths at the Gate - had a good time with this, as I always do with the Singing Hills books. Stories about stories are like catnip, I should reread them all sometime!
Bird by Bird by Ann Lamott (DNF) - I have only the vaguest memories of reading parts of this for a creative writing class in college, and now that I'm getting more into nonfiction thought why not? Unfortunately the audiobook version I got was read by the author, who absolutely does not have an audiobook voice/cadence. I considered trying again with the version read by someone else, but decided I wasn't actually interested enough to continue.
Lucky Red By Claudia Cravens (DNF) - the host of one of the podcasts I listen to was gushing about this one and I was like, sapphic western? Sign me up! I read about 25% of it, and it all seemed fine, it just wasn't feeling particularly interesting to me. Absolutely give it a shot if you'd like!
Portrait of a Thief by Grace D Li (DNF) - I knew going in this had been getting mixed reviews. I really like the idea of it - I enjoy a heist, am always interested in fine arts/art history drama, and vigilante art repatriation hell yeah! But this felt very much like it was trying to emulate a heist *movie*, and it just wasn’t working for me as a book. If this ever gets adapted I’d love to see it.
#bec posts#book log#wrap up 2024#books#booklr#book reviews#the raven cycle#dreamer trilogy#maggie stiefvater#hither page#the sweetness at the bottom of the pie#a strange and stubborn endurance#all the beauty in the world#thornhedge#check please#reclaiming two spirits#the hexologists#singing hills cycle#veronica speedwell
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Hi. It hasn't even been a week since I've read Debaser and I'm already rereading it :') Can't wait till we get the sequel. I also hope you're doing better♥️
I just had a question. Your fic doesn't follow Scream 3, as you said. And there's no Roman and whatever. But this question been stuck in my head; If there was a Roman, and If he told Billy to get himself an accomplice to not only help him, but whom also Billy could blame the murders on, in case they got arrested. Would your Billy, in Debaser universe, would he do that? He knows Stu would do anything he says. Would he directly ask him to help me murder a bunch of people while considering Stu an “ in case I got arrested ” accomplice? And final question ( sorry it got longer than I expected😭) Would your Billy actually do that If him and Stu got arrested? Blame Stu in order to get out? I mean all of us including Billy know Stu wouldn't say a thing If it is him instead of Billy in prison or even sentenced to death :) I know there's not much of a difference between canon Billy and Debaser Billy characteristically, but I got a feeling that Canon Billy would actually do that to get himself out... It makes me SO sad but I got a feeling he would do that.
That's all. Sorry it got so freaking long but I had to get it out of my head T-T
Hey thank you so much I'm so glad you liked it!
So I think that in this scenario Debaser Billy might start out with a plan to pin things on Stu. To me this seems like the kind of thing that he would continue to believe was his plan right up until it comes time to actually do it, in which case he then has to actually confront the reality of doing the thing. It's like having sex with Sidney.
All of this sort of also depends whether there's a witness. If Sid survives then Billy knows she'll testify against him and blaming it on Stu won't do shit for him. Debaser Billy at that point is straight up thinking he's not going to let the cops take him alive, but he's also in a position where he thinks Stu is going to die and I think that affects his decision making.
If this is a scenario in Debaser where they've both been arrested and Stu has still been horribly injured to the point that Billy thought he was going to lose him he's probably not in a state to be able to pin it on him. He's pretty fucking vulnerable (and for him, soft) at the end of Debaser. And tbh I think in this scenario if Stu wakes up and finds out Billy took the blame he'd be kinda mad at him.
If this is a scenario in Debaser where they've been arrested before Stu takes a TV to the face then Billy is a bit more likely to pin it on him but it wouldn't be easy for him. At that point in the story they're very deeply codependent and If Billy gets released and Stu doesn't then he's effectively losing Stu anyways. I think he would feel horribly guilty and he would self-isolate as a result.
I also do think Stu wouldn't mind getting locked up to keep Billy safe and out of jail. Like no question if Billy asked him to take the fall he would, so I don't think Stu would even feel particularly betrayed. He would be using his phone calls to tell him he gets it and he's not mad, he'd be writing so many letters, and eventually Billy would be brave enough to visit. Honestly the more I think about this the cuter it is lmao. With a really good lawyer Stu could have gotten released in 2021 (lmao bad timing buddy, sorry), they'd be 43, and gay marriage would be legal in California.
So there, your long ass question gets a long ass respons lmao
#Stu gets arrested AU#Billy Loomis and his incarcerated boyfriend#Stus gonna need THE BEST lawyer tho lmao#stuilly#stu x billy#billy loomis x stu matcher#debaser fanfic#ask
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13 books
What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!
Tagged by @quarkscooljacket
This is perfect because I had an extremely slow start to the year in terms of reading and then SUDDENLY in the last few weeks I got my library card un-blocked and then maxed out my reservations and am now reading a bunch of books!!!!!!!
1) The Last book I read:
Question 7 by Richard Flanagan! I extremely liked it! Very contemplative novel/nonfic/memoir mishmash threading through such things as the way scifi writers & physicists prefigured & led to & failed to prevent the bombing of Hiroshima, his father being a POW in Japan who almost certainly would not have survived (and had him!) if the bombs had not been dropped, the history of Tasmania, his own near drowning while kayaking in the Franklin river, and the way history and memory shapes us and is eternally carried forward with us while also being forgotten/rewritten/impossible to pin down for certain. At least, that's my best go of describing this book.
2) A book I recommend:
This is... so open-ended... if you want to identify native trees in Victoria and nearby areas I would recommend Leon Costerman's Native Trees and Shrubs of South-Eastern Australia lmao. I really like The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker, a historical fiction/urban fantasy book about a golem and a jinni living in immigrant communities in New York in the early 1900s, and also the sequel.
3) A book that I couldn’t put down:
Not a book per se but one of the webcomics I got into relatively recently is What happens next https://whathappensnext.webcomic.ws/ which reminds me a bit of Nevada by Imogen Binnie except if all of the characters were youtubers and/or tumblrinas and either involved in a murder or just big into true crime (in universe, fictional). It's very gripping. Of course now that I'm caught up there's the usual wait for updates but such is life.
I also read The Wicked + the Divine last week, since I'd never previously read the final 2 volumes, and that was good. I'm glad to find out I liked the ending. Comics are always a quick read but nevertheless some are more action-packed and fast paced than others lmao, and I just ripped through these in every spare second.
4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):
Naomi Novik is probably my most read author because I've read most of her books twice or more... So far I've read Spinning Silver & His Majesty's Dragon three times each; those are 2 of my absolute favourites. I've read most of the rest of the Temeraire series 2 or 3 times too but few of them grab me quite as much as the first one, & I read the first Scholomance book twice. I feel like I should reread Uprooted because that's the only one of her books I've not liked (though some of the duller Temeraire books get a bit of a leg-up from being in a series with other books I really like lol); since I only remember vague impressions of it now, which might not be accurate, I would like to see if my feelings have changed, or if not, figure out more specifically what I didn't like about it.
5) A book on my TBR:
Praiseworthy by Alexis Wright also happens to be one of the books I borrowed!! It was mentioned on a podcast along with Question 7 and Search History (currently reading, q12) so that is how I found out about these 3 books and was compelled to reserve them. However, currently I am daunted by how fat it is (700+ pages) so it's just sitting on my bedside table and I am... reading the shorter books first lmao.
I will also leave the blurb copypasted from @quarkscooljacket's answer:
Praiseworthy is an epic set in the north of Australia, told with the richness of language and scale of imagery for which Alexis Wright has become renowned. In a small town dominated by a haze cloud, which heralds both an ecological catastrophe and a gathering of the ancestors, a crazed visionary seeks out donkeys as the solution to the global climate crisis and the economic dependency of the Aboriginal people. His wife seeks solace from his madness in following the dance of butterflies and scouring the internet to find out how she can seek repatriation for her Aboriginal/Chinese family to China. One of their sons, called Aboriginal Sovereignty, is determined to commit suicide. The other, Tommyhawk, wishes his brother dead so that he can pursue his dream of becoming white and powerful. This is a novel which pushes allegory and language to its limits, a cry of outrage against oppression and disadvantage, and a fable for the end of days.
6) A book I’ve put down:
The most recent book I decided I did not want to finish is The Female Man by Joanna Russ. It sounded conceptually cool but I was just finding it way too hard to follow or care about. Too many sections where I couldn't figure out which character/s' perspective it was or whatever. I'm sure there's other books I didn't finish before they became overdue and I had to return them but can't remember, I usually want to finish them eventually. Whether I will get around to it is another matter.
7) A book on my wish list:
I don't normally buy books these days, but nevertheless tempted by A Vast, Pointless Gyration of Radioactive Rocks and Gas in Which You Happen to Occur, edited by the Daniels. It looks extremely interesting and also extremely pretty...
8) A favorite book from childhood:
Hmmmm. I guess I did choose my name from The Wind on Fire trilogy by William Nicholson. Definitely up there among my favourite childhood books.
9) A book you would give to a friend:
Another very open ended one...... this depends so much????? what friend... what occasion... idk... there are books I do kind of want to give people but either I haven't decided or it's supposed to be a surprise and they may see this. although recently I have been incepting Lauren with my impeccable borrowing tastes, reading my library books after me is surely the same thing right??
10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own
Ismene's Survivable Resistance by Claire Gaskin... she is one of my favourite poets, and I rly like the concept of this book, and I saw her do a reading of some of the poems! However I think my favourite poems by her are ones that are not in this book.
11) A nonfiction book you own:
Hmm... Evolution's Rainbow by Joan Roughgarden is an interesting book published in 2004 about the diversity of sexual and gender variation in the world. The first section is about other animals, and especially about the ways human biologists have imposed ideological frameworks in classifying them; the middle section is about human intersex variation and biology; and the third section is about human cultural sex and gender roles throughout history.
12) What are you currently reading:
Search History by Amy Taylor. About the dating life of a classic mildly messy millennial woman. In this case she goes through the facebook profile of the most recent guy she starts dating and then finds out that his ex girlfriend died, and then goes through the accounts and photos of the ex girlfriend and gets a bit obsessed with her, but has to not let on to the new guy that she has done this deep dive. It's okay! Enjoyable, pretty fast to read, some funny bits and observations and whatnot, but not particularly a stand out read. She is not as much of a freak as I expected she would be when I started reading it, which is both a relief and also a disappointment. So far everyone seems to just be normal mildly flawed people doing overall reasonable things imperfectly, and the conflict is just navigating life's complexity (there's a lot about everyday sexism though). Mostly I just keep thinking how glad I am to not be a heterosexual woman or ever had to attempt online dating/app dating, which are both quite boring and excessively smug things to feel, however, I am simply a bit boring and smug. Anyway I'm only halfway through, I'm expecting/hoping there'll be some twists or something. Maybe about the boyfriend...?
update: was talking to some friends about it this arvo and they said not only that it does get crazier, but ALSO that supposedly it's a modern telling of Rebecca, which I have not read but have now reserved lmao
13) What are you planning on reading next?
I have borrowed all of Delicious in Dungeon and am very excited to start them! Also the next books I have to read for my book clubs are Marlo by Jay Carmichael, which I'd better get onto as it is in less than 2 weeks, and Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H, which was one of the ones I put on the list myself and am very excited to read (I previously started it and got too busy to finish it but was rly enjoying it so keen to get further), but I actually still have over a month for that one since I can't make this month's meeting for that book club.
As for a shelfie... well here is a photo of all the plant reference books in my desk drawer for quick reference while working (though there's really only 4 I use very often, plus the australian standards on the side there):
Tagging (with ZERO pressure or obligation): @thesleepybabesclub @depthchargeforcutie @petricorrosion @andilovethisnovemberlife @dogelectedmayor @aesterea @commander-diomika @auntytim @zinjanthropusboisei @red-thorn
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….. team rancher perhaps? For the “brutally honest opinion on a ship” question
Okay so yes I got this in march. I've been thinking.
the ship? on double life? delightful. I fell for it so hard in the silliest way - i was writing a flower husbands fic and i wanted jimmy to talk to scott about tango, and thus i had to figure it out and woosh. There I was writing SO MUCH. (and then a spin off of that one got me into smalletho, i'm a hilarious creature.) Obviously I'm obsessed with Jimmy, and they were so cute together, they worked together well, good wholesome vibes. Sometimes it's nice to have a comedic duo as a ship. I got fanart printed, it was the first thing I published, I sat around and daydreamed about my many many wips.
However. Tragically. I've given it months and I just think I'm done for the foreseeable future. I am BUMMED about this. I wish I could separate c and cc on this one, and not care about the crossover and just write DL. Nothing about DL or LimLife or whatever interferes with my SmallEtho or Flower Husbands feels, each series is something i can choose to bring into what i'm feeling/writing. But, ugh. It's not working here. Especially with actual crossover-setting ranchers as opposed to DL etc.
To jump ahead - my remaining ranchers wip WILL be finished, because I'm so lucky to be able to bring in the amazing passionate clever supportive thoughtful kind and considerate @that-tall-queer-bassist as a co-author. They saw what I was afraid to ask and offered. (I might have asked eventually.) The most important parts are there, imo. My first fic was "my ex stole my soulmate", (fwhip/jimmy/tango) which i wrote in a possessed fervor the day the crossover started. this is the sequel, "my soulmate made a date for me and my ex". It's all outlined and the beginning is written, and most crucially the final conversation is written, where i got Jimmy and Tango's voices to my satisfaction and did how I wanted things to wrap up. I just... the thought of doing it makes me so anxious (especially after i got a "why haven't you updated" comment and had a VERY bad day from it) but I swore I'd never abandon a wip. It keeps getting kudos - the first one had 3x as many kudos as any other fic until the month, and then it's just one fic, it's still so popular - and i don't even want to reread it. It's a very strange feeling to have you biggest hit be something that makes you sad!
the rest of the unpublished wips - man idk how many partially written ranchers fics i have. so many. a lot are in what would have been a flower husbands/ranchers multiverse series that might have hit 100k, which i'm never doing. i'm planning to publish a couple short stand-alones. Some of the ranchers shit is good! My current thought is to go back to them a few months after "my soulmate made a date" is finished and skim and see if any are in a shape where i might want to share some on request, because right now i have so much anxiety about it all to even make decisions. i especially love the sequel to "love respect joy and ranchin'" cause that was 17k of sexual tension and a lot of sexy things happened after.
Maybe time will pass and I'll get what I want! Maybe I'll be able to look at DL ranchers and just enjoy what is there, what I loved before, and not be disappointed about what never happened after animated heart reunions etc. My hopes were SO high and I'm going to try and never get my hopes that high again for something dependent on so many factors.
It is funny that I wrote fics that people are probably using for some fix-it feelings, while I myself can't fix it for me! I'm supremely lucky that I have so many other ships.
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2022 top memorable media experiences (top left to bottom right)
short reviews/impressions under
Witch Hat Atelier - Reread and caught up on this. Still one of the best ongoing manga series. Everything about it from the art to the characters to the plot/themes it is covering is A+. Praying that the adaptation of this ends up doing it justice. If there is anything that deserves a godlike adaptation, its this.
A Rose in the Twilight - Bought a bundle of horror games by nippon ichi and this was the one that probably clicked with me the most. Sort of janky but great game with a lovely aesthetic and story to it. Yomawari 2 is also p great from the same bundle.
Kirby and the Forgotten Land - Honestly one of the most pleasant experiences of the year. Just great vibes from start to finish. Thoroughly enjoyable.
Kitanai Kimi ga Ichiban Kawaii - This finished early in the year and while the middle is rather ???, the last 2 vols are perfect. It ended exactly how I wanted it to. I need more yuri stories like this one as I live for this sort of content.
Shokei Shoujo - Speaking of yuri, this series was made for me. Everything in it. The characters, the themes, the plot, the aesthetic is all directly pandering to me. Adored the anime and loved the 3 vols I read of it. Definitely one of the things I need to read more of. Easily in the top 3 of new things I got into this year.
Grim Grimoire - Much smaller scale story than 13sen but in some ways I think it was more memorable to me. Really enjoyed it. Hopefully it gets a sequel that was planned originally one of these days now since the remaster happened.
Amatsutsumi - The best visual novel I read this year hands down. The 1st chapter is great, the 2nd/3rd chapter is forgettable as hell but the final chapter is exactly the type of writing I read vns for. Hotaru is such an intensely interesting character. The finale is perfect.
Tsui no Stella - Great short game by Romeo. Very interesting and enjoyable world building and fully makes use of the time it has with its story. One of the best short vns I’ve read.
Kuro to Kuro to Kuro no Saidan - I went in this thinking it would be a nukige with a maybe okay plot/writing because of Shumon. But turned out to be actually a competent dark fantasy story with some interesting worldbuilding. Enjoyable from start to finish with the only issue being some of the endings are pretty unneeded but thats a old game sort of thing so.
Yume no Kuni kara Mezametemo - Great 1 vol yuri story. Loved the themes it went into and the writing style was really good. Very much want to recommend it to people who like to claim japan isn’t progressive since alot of the stuff it went into was very relevant topics about minorities, males in lesbian spaces, patriarchal society and how these systems hurt people (work sekuhara, male ‘allies’), etc. I do feel it is sort of unmemorable a few months later but going through it, I loved it.
Dark Souls 1 - Went back and actually finished this 10 years later. Great game outside of the fire zone... for obvious reasons.
Happy Sugar Life - Exactly the type of yuri story I want. Very good story about abnormal love and adore how it went into different facets of it through different characters. Glad to finally have gotten around to finish it.
Signalis - Loved it. Great survival horror game with a good aesthetic. Definitely looking forward to what the devs do in the future.
FuyuKuru - HONESTLY SPEAKING, I had alot of problems with this game going through it but the final few scenes of the game honestly GRIPPED ME so hard. The way Watanabe makes the end of the world and humanity’s extinction into something so hopeful is insane and I love him for it. The road might have been rough but the journey was sure worth it.
Sayonara Eri - Still probably my favorite work from Fujimoto. Short, sweet but has a big impact and covers some great themes.
Kaguya-sama S2 and S3 - Honestly sort of fell off Kaguya-sama at the beginning of S2 but going back and finishing these and its still great. Really loved it.
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Solo-ing this book ask game this time~ wish I had more variety to offer but anyway it was fun. Skipped a bunch that I don't have time for/have poor answers to.
describe a book you’ve read in the last twelve months in freeform poetry
Silverchest by Carl Phillips. Very haunting and emotive poetry.
what was the first book you read from your favourite author (and what made you come back for more)?
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I didn't know anything about it the first time I read it, so the twist took me completely by surprise. I'm always so sad for new readers who probably already know about it thanks to the movies. It's not that the twist is so unique, but the build-up leading into it lets it really land the punch, and adds an extra layer of tragedy to the finale.
But it wasn't the twist that made me an Ishiguro fan. It's the depth of emotion and his view of humanity through such an honest lens. Of course I love Remains of the Day as well, and When We Were Orphans. I expected a similar twist with Klara in the Sun, but although there kind of is one, it's so much less dramatic - but there's something about that which works for the narrative just as well. I own The Buried Giant but it's still only part-read back at my mom's house.
share a cover that made you pick up a specific book (and how that turned out for you)
I no longer remember which cover it was! But it was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I read it when I was 16 at a Halloween party when I felt partied out. It was on a book shelf at my friend's house. I think I was intrigued by both the title and the cover. Liked it a lot.
which non-fiction book had you glued to your seat and fascinated with each new chapter?
That's a toss up between Wild Swans by Jung Chang and The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. (I assume memoirs count.) The latter is such an intriguing depiction of a family dynamic and love and toxicity. The former is a thick book of mostly exposition that follows the writers' ancestors during the transition from Imperial China to communism. We were assigned only a small chunk of it in a high school class, but it was so fascinating that I read the whole thing.
name a book series you didn’t finish (and why)
I've picked up a lot of books that start a series and didn't make it past the first chapter, so I can't really count them. There is one book which comes to mind, but I can't recall the name of it anymore. It was a fantasy series that I read when I was 18 or so. It might be YA but either way I think I was too old for it, because I remember that after finishing the whole book I thought it was so insipid and cliche. Dunno if I'd still feel that way about it now, but I can't remember what its even called, so. Definitely didn't continue on to the sequels.
do you remember the first book you read by yourself?
no lol way too young. it was probably a babysitter's club or something.
which book can you turn to whenever things get worse?
Well I know this is probably a cop-out coming from me, but I really do feel calmer when I reread a Moomin book. They're so full of peace without sacrificing an ounce of sensitivity, and because they're children's books that even adults can love, I can read them quickly when I need to feel settled down. I really want to recommend them to friends and family, but I know it's also such a personal reaction that I just can't expect them to feel the same. I don't think my dad, especially, would be able to look past the funny characters with the silly names.
share the last book that made you experience an outburst of emotion — be that happiness, fear, shock, sadness, anger...
I'm going to go with The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. It's certainly not the "last" book I read, because other than Silverchest, Moomins, Klara in the Sun, Middlemarch, and a couple Jane Austen novels, I haven't been reading much recently. And I can't keep picking those ones over and over. XP But The God of Small Things is my long-time favorite for the way it shocks you, and rips you apart, yet remains so tender.
recommend three (non-english) books you read in translation
Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
if a stranger on the train wanted to make you fall in love with them instantly — which book would they have to read?
Never Let Me Go, maybe, but I think I'd want them to like the poetry of Mary Oliver or Walt Whitman better, if we're talking bout love.
share a quote that made you read a certain book (and how that turned out)
as it happens, this quote from Silverchest: "At last, he's asleep. I can look at him the way I'm meant to." And it turned out very good. I'm glad I read these poems. Sometimes the sexuality made me uncomfortable, because I just don't read that sort of thing often. But what I love is that the poetry surrounded that very blunt sexuality is as beautiful and evocative as you could ask it to be, which elevates the eroticism and puts puritanical discomfort to shame.
did you ever read a book because a show/film was coming out based on it? Bonus: did you watch the show/film and how did it hold up?
Technically that's why I read Lord of the Rings, the first movie had just come out and I had been putting off my two friends who were trying to convince me to read the books. We were thirteen, and my best friend gave me a copy of FotR with the movie poster as the cover, and wrote a note inside that said "May this book open your eyes to the wonderful world of Tolkien!" Well, it did. Initially I had trouble getting through Tom Bombadil, but once I did I barreled through all three books before the Two Towers film came out. Much more recently, Good Omens, which I had never read before hearing of the TV show. I love both the LotR movies and the Good Omens TV show, which is interesting since adaptations can be very hit or miss for me. But it's a combo of the care that went into making them as well as just having excellent material in the originals.
share a book that helped you evolve into the person you are now
Definitely His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. I read those books in junior high and they were life-changing. I always loved scrappy girls like Pippi Longstocking and Anne of Green Gables. Matilda made me uncomfortable because she was so angry and vengeful but at the same time I loved her for it! But Lyra was the one who stayed with me the most, probably because the message of "lying is good"! Not really, but I mean, there is this whole undercurrent of rebelling against authority and trusting one's feelings which becomes loud and powerful in the final book. Lyra was so subversive for me and still one of my favorite characters ever.
what kind of atmosphere/topic/theme are you currently most interested in?
Lately what I want to read the most is books that are both realistic and loving. I don't want the love to be sacrificed for gritty realism, but I don't want realism sacrificed for cloying fluff. I'm looking for the kind of balance I want to see emulated more often in people's interactions with each other IRL. Instead of assuming "my neighbor is a monster," finding the human there. I think this is present a lot in Jane Austen novels.
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Title: Never Ever Getting Back Together Author: Ssgonzalesauthor Release Date: November 29th, 2022 Page Count: 374 Start Date: November 14th, 2022 Finish Date: December 2nd, 2022 Review: Story: I was very hesitant to start this book. I was worried it might be full of too much cringe. I was completely wrong. I am so glad for that. I started to read another book by this author. I had to set it down. Not because it was a bad book. I was just really burned out on reading at the time. Because of this book, I have now gotten her entire collection in audiobook. I really want to see this as a movie. I want to see many of these things actually happen. Including a part of the ending. This book was full of drama and comedy. Characters: One of our main characters is Maya. She's cheated on with the other main character, Skye. When it comes to light, he lies to everybody and tells them that she just couldn’t accept being broken up with. He makes it seem like Maya is unstable and irrational. I really felt for her. Most of us have been there at one point. I wanted to dislike Skye, but it seems like he was just as dishonest with her as he was with everybody else. Critiques: I wouldn't call this a critique as much as a personal preference. I would have loved to see certain things played out a little more. Something happens towards the end that I really would have liked to see how that fully played out. It's kind of why I'd love to see this in a movie! Final Thoughts: Maya is so quirky. Skye is too. There are times that they really grated on my nerves, but they really are so cute together! I loved this story. I loved that while they were on this show for their ex, they fell for each other. I'll probably reread this again quite a few times. I wish there were a sequel to it! I need to see how things go from there! https://www.instagram.com/p/Clsj7nqgNAb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Darling Ryt, you've managed to be nosy at exactly the right time, so here we go:
Name: Kee. Or, En Mycket Stor och Ståtlig Älg. Or, Joanne, apparently...
Century of your birth: 20th century all the way, babe!
Go-to coffee order: Either whatever beans sounds most interesting/weirdest, with milk (if it's a micro roastery type of place), or some sort of flavoured latte with whipped cream (if at an Espresso House or Starbucks).
Do you have a pet?
Do you have a personal motto? Yes. 😏
Last vacation: Road trip up north with my one in particular. The journey was the destination (well, that and the food, drinks and sights).
Next vacation: Not strictly speaking a vacation but it feels like one, so... My new job's sending me on a three day conference in Newcastle in early June. Hotel looks SWEET. Also, might be stopping by London for a brief spell on the way there or home, so if someone wanted to meet up for a nice meal, that could potentially be arranged. 😌 If works does not count, a weekend trip to Gothenburg to see a production of Jesus Christ Superstar I'm VERY excited about.
Dream vacation: The Caribbean! And we're going next year! Barring plagues, wars and general disasters, so probably not I guess...
A short-term goal: Getting to the end of May without losing my professional shit.
A lifetime goal: Joy, bitch. 🥰
Last show you watched: 9-1-1 Lone Star. Giving it a cautious twirl. So far, not convinced.
Next on your to watch list: Our Flag Means Death.
Last thing you read: Shades of Gray by Jasper Fforde.
Something you're excited to read: The sequel to Shades of Gray. (Which might be published next year. I've been waiting more than a decade for this goddamned book! Read Shades of Gray back in 2012 and didn't get thar it was the first of three until I had about 50 pages left and realized things could not possibly be sorted out in that short a time. Got to the end, DYING for more. Went online to see when the next novel would be released and just found a video of Fforde walking the fields of Wales and explaining he MIGHT start writing it in 2014. Was devastated. Now it's 2022 and it's finally being written. George RR Martin never hurt me like this.) (I'd like to point out I just reread Shades of Gray. I have read one or two other books between 2012 and now.)
Funniest thing on the internet today: I've hardly been online, so uh... my one in particular's text narration of her encounter with a pigeon? It's weak, I know.
Something your struggling with right now: Not planning too much social stuff. I do need me a couple of days a week to just chill, and if I neglect that (as I'm sometimes wont to do), even fun social stuff ends up stressful rather than fun, and I end up a very put-upon Kee indeed.
Something hopeful: Life has never died.
(Oh, and my motto is "life might not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance". Shake that booty, sweetlings. ❤)
Cheers, hellishly harmonious @howlinchickhowl - that was fun!
Tagging @dreamylyfe-x @captainjowl @damngcoffee @fiona-fififi
@dramaticviolincrescendo @ianandmickeygallavich
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Did someone say Smut?
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of talk about Jily smut, the lack of it or requests for it, so I compiled a list of some fics from the last year or so, one work from each author:
Things that go bump in the night by r4ch
Lily hears a laugh, a loud clank and then the sound of something breaking. That is followed by a curse, and then the hasty footsteps of students trying to make a quick but quiet retreat; after six months as Head Girl, and two years as Prefect before that, it’s a sound she knows well. She sighs and draws her wand, but before she can round the corner, James does. (This writer has only one work on their profile and it’s quintessential Jily smut with no equal. So basically: Dear Writer, please come back!)
Her Lucky Quill by Fayejase
Lily is studying with her lucky quill and is desperately trying to focus and not think about him... Unfortunately for her, James walks through the portrait looking tempting as ever and the blazing fire is no longer the only thing crackling in the air. Will Lily finish her essay? Or will her quill bring her more than luck? Anticipation. Smut galore. Lemony goodness.
such hot blood by @lilymanaged
But every sly, cutting remark she made only made him chuckle, ruffle her hair, call her “love” and “sweetheart” and “baby”.
Prick.
Lily agreed, however, that the pool had been a good idea. Because, despite her determination to avoid James Potter, a pool day did mean a whole day of him without a shirt, which was a plus in her book.
Summer Girl
The last thing Lily Evans expects the summer before her seventh year is the infamous Potter family moving in down the street.
But in the gold light of summer, James and Lily find themselves unexpected friends--and then, unexpectedly, more than friends.
and its sequel
Earthquake Drills by @efkgirldetective
You have to practice before an emergency: When the ground starts shaking, you have to know what to hide under, who to hold onto.
1977. Summer is over. Lily Evans and James Potter are in their seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The world around the castle shifts, unmoored. Love and friendship become urgent, imperative concerns—become, perhaps, the difference between life and death. (I don’t usually read 1st person POVs but this writer’s prose is unique and hypnotizing, especially in the sequel, and their smut is the most erotic and, dare I say, arousing)
I think we're alone now by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world
James and Lily are very horny and just want to spend some time alone together, is that so much to ask? Porn with plot.
Voyeur by @scriibble-fics
He had no claim to her, and he knew that. But James never expected to find Lily in a classroom with someone else. He also never expected to like it. But most of all, he never expected that she might come to like it too, and that it might bring them closer than before, like he had always wanted. [L/OC, eventual L/J; Marauders seventh year/intro to the First Wizarding War] (I know I scream about this fic every chance I get and push it everywhere but it’s honestly SO WORTH IT! You don’t understand HOW GOOD it is, you’re reading my words now and can’t even imagine how good it gets. It’s out of this world and has the potential to be one of the BEST fics ever written in this fandom! Ever!! Imagine legendary fandom fics - but more mature and grown up. It also has the best war scene I ever read. I know the summary sounds a little weird and the first chapter might give you doubts - but don’t let it! It’s just a one chapter thing meant to jump start things and to simply give James and Lily reason to start talking and really get to know each other. Once the story starts unfolding you’ll be mind-blown by writing, characterization and story detailing! The foreshadowing is so intricate you’ll end up rereading it and noticing new details more than once!)
Dear Tuney by AlightWithHappiness / @jilyesplz
Lily Evans loves her sister, and she's happy that Petunia gets to marry the man she loves, even if the couple makes Jack Sprat and his wife look like identical twins. But seven wedding events is Too Many Wedding Events, and Lily and James have had just about enough abuse from Dursleys. At this next dinner party, they're going to make their own fun.
After Dark by @frustratedpoetwrites
Two lawyers are working late, but find their mutual attraction too much to ignore.
Don't Blame Me by @petals-to-fish
They make a crazy bet, but thankfully neither of them can keep their promises.
nothing to lose and each other to gain by @downn-in-flames
Falling for your surfing instructor probably isn't considered an 'appropriate' family vacation activity.
Monsters in Broom Closets by m3ganana
She can't get enough of him. Jily fun, no plot.
The Benefits of Matchmaking by carry_on_a
When Sirius moves out due to a promotion of all things, James needs to find a new flatmate immediately thanks to a clause in his lease. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) Euphemia Potter is there to save the day and spring one very attractive, very aggravating, recently-evicted-from-her-flat Lily Evans on him.
Of Good Starts and Requirements. by dimplesmcflirt
"When Lily Evans received her first Hogwarts letter she already knew she was going to get it, or at least had some idea she would, but it was still absolutely magical. When James Potter received his first Hogwarts letter it was the furthest thing from unexpected, even though it was still exciting.
By the time they received their last ones, their situations would be reversed. Why is that you ask? Because Lily had absolutely no doubt in her mind she’d receive the Head Girl badge with hers, and so she did. Receiving the Head Boy badge with his letter was the last thing James expected, and yet, it happened as well."
Anything? by Ka_th_leen
James and Lily return home after Sirius and Remus's party.
James Potter Does Not Chicken Out by Philaenis
“If,” he started softly, “and this is completely up to you. But if you wanted to... experiment with your fingers or with something else sometime... I’d be willing to try it again.”
Whatever You Say, Professor by @tiffanytoms
In her final year at Hogwarts, Lily Evans has a new professor. The only problem is, former classmate Professor Potter is the only man she's ever had a crush on. Can they be good and stay away from each other? Or does destiny (and their pesky little shared dreams) have other plans for them? Jily AU - Turns smutty - Teacher James/Student Lily (If you’re wary of this concept I can tell you that there’s only a couple years of age difference and no power dynamic)
Ruin by baguette2016
AU: After losing her best friend in combat, Auror Lily Everett returns to Hogwarts for a break from the battlefield. She soon discovers that she's signed up for a year alongside her ex-fiancé who is rather determined to make sure the past does not rest easy. (Now this is truly controversial and definitely not for everyone. It’s a very dark fic and includes Dark!James, so be warned. But it’s written well and a work of fiction I found fascinating and I believe every fic has its own audience.)
On Heroism by @clare-with-no-i
James Potter has a bit of a hero complex, and it is ripe for the exploitation.
OR: Lily arrives back from a two-week-long mission away. You can imagine the kind of greeting she receives when she arrives unharmed.
(/slightly/ darker Jily smut)
Control by @alrightginger
He always thought he’d be more in control with his first time with Lily. He realizes now how stupid that sounds. Lily enjoys being in charge. She thrives off instructing others.
He thinks he’s halfway to developing a new kink when she tells him not to move, and he realizes that it’s actually torture, this new thing he likes.
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Happy New Year, everybody! I know that Literally no one cares or will read this, but I have to rate and talk about what I’ve read this year and this is my page, so deal with it.
2020 may have been a dumpster fire of a year, but I did read so me pretty good books. I didn’t get to read as many books as I wanted (like always), but that’s life. If you couldn’t tell, I do have a preference for romance novels, and these selections are very... 🌈 and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Here we go:
- Lies we Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley (4/10)
- I think I could write a dissertation about why I have a problem with this book, but I think I can just stop with “a white lady writing an interracial queer romance in the 1960s where the lead white character is literally a racist” should about cover it. Absolutely disappointed.
- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (10/10)
- Oh my god does Casey McQuiston know how to write a book. Classic enemies to lovers, my favorite trope. This is my comfort novel that I use as a form of escapism, and probably the reason I didn’t read many new books, as I reread it about five times. It’s my comfort novel, and I come back to it every time I need to feel happy. I’ve made three of my friends read this book, and I recommend it to everyone
- These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling (8/10)
- It’s sapphic, it has witches, and it’s adorable; what more could you possibly want? The ending left me wanting more. I was finally able to buy the sequel and I can’t wait to get into it.
- Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (7/10)
- I think this book is sort of a classic when it comes to gay YA. This was a pretty good book, but it took me awhile to get into it.
- Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins (9/10)
- What did I say about enemies to lovers? HRH was regarded as sapphic Red, White, and Royal Blue, which I think is all you need to know to be interested. This book and short, sweet, and to the point. It’s an easy read (I read it twice, both times in one day). I think there could’ve been some more character building, but it’s so adorable I literally do not care. When I say I want more cute gay romcoms, they should use HRH as the blueprint.
- It’s Not Like It’s a Secret by Misa Sugiura (7/10)
- A cute, interracial sapphic love story where no white people are involved (the main character is Japanese American and her love interest is Mexican American). This coming of age story deals with acceptance, cultural differences, racism, and coming out. I think some of the points it was trying to delve into were too much on the nose at some times, but I really enjoyed this book.
- The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee (9/10)
- A fun romp set some time in the 1700s with a chaotic bi as the main lead? Count me in! I read this whole series this year, including the novella (the gentleman’s guide to getting lucky), and I loved every second of it. It’s an adventure series with some romance sprinkled in (a hella slow burn, but definitely worth it). The whole series has gay, bi, lesbian, and ace aro representation, and I was in love the entire time.
- You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson (8/10)
- The black sapphic book I needed. Liz Lighty decides she wants to leave her hometown and go to college, but after losing the financial aid she was counting on, she remembers the scholarship that prom queen gets every year, and decides to run. Sprinkle in a cute love story, and I’m hooked.
- The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (10/10)
- I... cannot put into words how this book made me feel. When I finished TSOA, I cried all night trying to recover. Beautifully written, and I still can’t get over Achilles and Patroclus. One of my favorite books this year.
- Sorry Not Sorry by Naya Rivera
- After Naya’s tragic passing in July, I struggled to find her autobiography anywhere. However, I was finally able to get my hands on it, and am so glad that I did. Naya Rivera was just as genuinely funny and carefree as her previous costars have said, and I wish the world could’ve gotten more of her.
Not pictured:
- Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst (9/10)
- Sapphic love story about a princess who has been betrothed to a prince from a nearby country her whole life who instead falls in love with his sister. The main character, Denna, also possesses magical powers, which is forbidden in their land. One of my favorite things about this book is that it’s set in medieval times, but no one cares about queer relationships. The only problem with Denna falling in love with the princess is that she’s betrothed to her brother and nothing else. I recently bought the sequel to this book as well, and I’m excited to read it
- The After Series (books 1-2) by Anna Todd (-400/10)
- I was curious about this series because of how terrible the movies are, and needed to read them myself. I apologize to myself every day that I every even wasted my time on these two books. If I ever see Anna Todd, it’s on sight immediately. Not only is the writing terrible, but the romanticization of abusive relationships is absolutely unacceptable. I think I could take less issue with these books if the author wrote them as a “what to look for in men you should never date” rule book, but it isn’t. I could actually write an essay on why these books are more harmful than entertaining and how I genuinely think this series should have never been published. Also, Harry Styles did not deserve this.
I also discovered WEBTOON this year, and here are some of my favorites that I have read:
- Always Human by creator walkingnorth, a finished WLW story which was absolutely beautiful to look at and delightful to read.
- Lore Olympus by creator Rachel Smythe. I don’t think you can find too many people who haven’t heard of this story, but it’s a retelling of the Hades and Persephone mythology, and I adore it.
- Novae by creators KaixJu. A historical, queer and paranormal romance about a necromancer who falls for an astronomer.
- My Lady Artemisia by creator rimarza. This WEBTOON is a little bit newer with fewer episodes, about a knight tasked with guarding the princess, which starts to prove difficult once she starts to gain feelings for the princess, and an impending threat might cause her to past to come to the surface.
Of course, I’ve also spent a lot of my time on A03. I know I’ve read more, but here are the ones I bookmarked and have come back to this year:
- kiss me (if you mean it) by nerdybutpunk
- Carry On fanfic, short but sweet, absolute fluff
- Camp Llwynywermod by bleedingballroomfloor
- Red, White, and Royal Blue AUwhere Henry and Alex are camp counselors. It’s so good and I find myself waiting every wed and sat for the updates.
I read more this year than I have in a long time, and I enjoyed it most of the time. My goal for 2021 is to read at least two books a month and to expand my horizons to something that isn’t YA and isn’t romance. Also to find Anna Todd and tell her off. Hopefully we can accomplish some of that.
#rwrb#lgbtq lit#lgtbqia+#carry on#alex claremont diaz#henry montague#ggtvav#after series#naya rivera#wlw#her royal highness#tsoa#achilles#patroclus#patrochilles#you should see me in a crown#these witches don't burn#these witches gay#of fire and stars#henry fox mountchristen windsor#lies we tell ourselves#robin talley#booklr#lgbtq books
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How I wrote the Demon fic
Don't draw devil's traps in janitors' closets is one of my longest fic series I’ve ever written, the most notable of which would be my Demon Gakushuu fic, if you’ve seen it.
In partial response to an ask post (link here), I’ve decided to revisit my writing of this fic series! It was quite a long journey for me and I think it might be fun (?) sharing it with everyone. It’s rather long, so I’ll tag it under “keep reading”.
FYI this thread contains major spoilers for the fic (and would honestly make no sense if you do not have prior knowledge of it).
I'll just refer to the first fic in the series as Books because it has an insanely long title. Subsequent fics are in order Burgundy, Potential, Illuminate, Illuminate rewrite, and Addendum. The main series is linked here.
Addendum is not linked in the main series for reasons I'll explain below. (link here)
Books
I think one of my biggest mistakes writing Books is my lack of plot planning, and subsequently how thematically inconsistent it became. I start off most my fics with a rough idea of how I want the story to end, and a few good themes to carry me through the plot as I write, but for Books I started off with the first chapter and nothing else. If you followed the notes of my fic you'd probably have witnessed my gradual descent into uncertainty and despair as the fic spiralled out of my control due to how wrong I felt it was becoming.
The fic took a surprisingly hard toll on me. I absolutely hated it. I refused to mark it as complete because I was dissatisfied with how it ended. I thought that everyone was out of character, that I lost the original ending and goal in my head, that it was thematically messy such that I couldn't justify any ending I tried to come up with, and I was just grasping at straws trying to make it work.
The three things that bothered me were Gakushuu’s wings, Koro-Sensei and the introduction of Aina. When I started this fic I had plans to kill off Koro-Sensei at the end, however as the fic went on it became a celebration of life and learning how to live, and I knew I couldn’t bring myself to have any death in this fic... but at the same time I had Gakushuu find a lot of meaning in Koro-Sensei’s (to-be) death and I didn’t want to undo that. The wings were on a similar note, because Gakushuu spend 50k words finding out who he is and accepting that he was different. Turning that message around and making him go back to being “the same” ate me up inside, but at the same time I set-up the Demon Society in such a way that they would kill Gakushuu if he didn’t have his wings, and it’s supposed to be a happy ending, dammit! Aina was a particularly egregious case because I threw her (and Ikeda) in without any prior warning at the very last minute. I already had a whole world and setting planned for them which I never got to expand on in the previous chapters because I was so anxious about the other two points, and when it came down to the last chapter I realized I had no set-up for these two, who were supposed to be major players in the finale. Basically I was bad at writing.
Even now I cannot fully articulate why it was terrible for me, but compounded with my real-life stressors, I suppose it just became a bit too much to deal with. (This is a piece of fiction that I am creating from scratch. If I can't even get this under control, what hope do I have for everything else?)
((For come disclosure I was never formally diagnosed with any mental illness, but my parents are the sort of people who don’t believe mental illness exists anyways. I would say that I’ve had depressive episodes when I was younger and sometimes even now, but I’ve learnt my ways of dealing with them!))
Burgundy
Four days later I published Burgundy, a short sequel to Books, very shortly after only because I had already finished writing by that time. I actually do still have several half-finished follow ups at that point, but I couldn't bring myself to complete any sequels because I couldn't even come to terms with the ending of the main story. (Those wips are lost to me now.) I think I was hoping that forcing myself to publish the sequel would show me that it was "no big deal" that the main fic didn't end the way I hoped it would, but it succeeded in making me feel worse.
Potential
About one month after that I wrote Potential. It was a three parter, somehow a fifth of the length of the main fic, that followed Gakuhou's perspective prior to the events of Books. It was a prequel which imo made it easier to write, because I still couldn't move on from Books yet. I think writing Potential was me trying to remind myself why I wrote Books in the first place, to perhaps reignite my original passion for the series. It's kind of funny to think about in hindsight, and a little meta, because Potential was a lead up to the events in Books. It worked... a little bit, I think. I still couldn't reconcile my feelings for the whole thing, but through it I got to revisit the original premise that I fell in love with and expand more on worldbuilding it. I could reprise Aina and Ikeda and finally write about the world I planned to introduce them in in the first fic and give more context and insights to how the demon society was supposed to work.
Illuminate
Six months after Potential, I ran into a comment that said, "what would Gakuhou have done if Gakushuu had died?" And for some reason it struck an epiphany in me. After that I wrote Illuminate in one night, cried myself to sleep, waited one more night to proofread it, and then published it. Illuminate was an AU to the first three fics in the series, and it was a fic about grief and mourning. Spoiler alert: I straight up killed Gakushuu in that fic. And somehow that was what I needed.
I quite literally killed my first fic - I upended the terrible ending I hated from Books - everything I had been uncertain about at first? I killed it. Plot points didn't fit my original plans? Killed it. (When I reread the death scene, I... honestly think I was unnecessarily cruel. I must have really been out of my mind when I wrote it, hah!)
And then I wrote myself a love story about missing it, grieving it, and finally letting go of it. It was heart wrenching for me - I made Gakuhou cry about what he lost, what could have been, what he realized he loved, and at the end of it all he could say "I love you and I can move on from you." And I did!
Illuminate (Rewrite)
Illuminate Rewrite, one year later, was me revisiting Illuminate to reflect on myself where I've come with this series. I actually just swapped the places of two paragraphs to change the mood at the end for something more contemplative. I elaborated a bit more on this in my notes for Rewrite, so I won't repeat them here.
Honestly, I still have a hard time coming back to reread Illuminate even after the whole debacle has happened. I attached a lot of emotions through my journey with this, and revisiting it each time takes quite a bit out of me.
Addendum
Addendum was just me having fun! After Illuminate, I managed to reconcile my feelings with the fic series. I was finally able to mark Books as complete and move on from it, and afterwards I wrote a fun little au sequel to Illuminate so that Gakushuu can live again. I could creatively expand on ideas and just do... whatever! It's more of a loose connection of plot points than a real fic, honestly.
Addendum follows Gakushuu in a future hundreds of years later, after every human who he's once known in Books has died. And... he moves on! Gets a job, makes friends, lives his life, and most importantly move on.
I chose to publish in a separate collection, however, because it was an incomplete story and I didn’t want to have a half-complete fic tacked on to what I have settled in my heart as a complete fic collection.
And that’s about it! <3
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dream clouds, ghost ground (real friends, dead hometown)
an accidental jangobi au
that is now specially for @mandalorianbrainweasel | @ironhoshi | @obikakenobi | @mageofcole | @quitebizarre | @bureau-pinery | @atelier-dayz | @legendaryjarcollection | @pretzel-log1c | @adiduck | @koyacyi-vode | @satan-incarnate-666 | @theclonewarsbrokeme | because i’ve genuinely loved and revelled in our conversations this past year, and am pretty sure(??) you all ship jangobi
( and also @batsutousai and @the-mandalorian-clone-lover but it won’t let me tag you :(
i uhhhhhh plotted this from my prompt roster without rereading the actual ask, so this is completely out of timeline for the anon’s prompt? and i didn’t realise until i was halfway through?? so here’s this??? i already have ideas for a sequel???? (and it’s 3157 words gl)
some context: there’s no age-out, but obi-wan is still sent to the agricorp and stays there. yarael poof inspects the facility 7 years later, and obi has visions of korda 6/galidraan and finagles themself onto the rescue mission of the true mandalorians. cue chaotic, still-has-the-impulsivity-that-got-them-kicked-out obi-wan. who is also nb just for funsies.
title from start//end by eden
Obi-Wan Kenobi is not as Yarael had expected, but then, he had never met them while they lived in the Temple.
The young Jedi breaks away from their group of friends on the other side of Bandomeer’s main greenhouse as soon as they catch sight of Yarael, the other novitiates trying and failing to hold Obi-Wan back from running through the dark green garden beds right up to him. They don’t seem to care that they’ve interrupted Master Fodvam’s tour of the facility, and ignores her to glare at Yarael with a fire in their eyes that he vaguely remembers as being the cause for their failing the initiate program. Stocky and toned with dark freckles on every bit of exposed skin from working the desert Enrichment Zones, Obi-Wan glares up at Yarael with a set to their lips so very like Master Yoda (and Qui-Gon Jinn, for that matter) that Yarael raises a placating hand to the Kubaz master at his side and smiles back down at Obi-Wan.
At first flush, he might have thought Obi-Wan approached him to beg to be allowed to return to the Temple and become a knight —it would not be the first time an old initiate had done so, though they usually attempted such an action much sooner after their reassignment— but instead, Obi-Wan wastes no time in demanding, “You have to go Korda 6, the lives of thousands depend on it.”
“And why is that, young one?” Yarael returns calmly, though Obi-Wan must be pushing seventeen standard; everyone is young to him these days.
Master Fodvam sighs, reaching out to put a hand on Obi-Wan’s arm, but they shake her off. “Obi-Wan,” she admonishes softly, for all the good that does.
“There’s going to be a genocide,” Obi-Wan insists over the sound of their friends trying to call them back across the greenhouse, “Death Watch is going to kill the Mand’alor and slaughter the True Mandalorians, and no one here will listen to me.”
Curious about their absolute certainty, Yarael gently pushes against their mind, but has to jerk away when the Jedi shoves him right back out, Yarael’s second brain fizzling like it had been shocked by a bad power coupling. Perhaps Master Yoda had been too hasty in handing this one over to the Council of Reassignment, when even though Yarael can sense their fear and hurt, their lingering doubt in the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan has not a single crack in their shields. Not a single doubt in themselves.
Master Fodvam shakes her head, but it appears more out of a helplessness than disappointment. “Master Poof,” she says, “Novitiate Kenobi has spoken of this premonition for the last standard tenday, and I’m afraid none of the masters here are versed in the Unifying Force.”
“At all,” they stress.
Interesting indeed, that Master Yoda would nominate Obi-Wan for the Agricorp over the other branches, then, for surely they would have shown precognition as a crècheling. “Novitiate Kenobi, you clearly have complete faith in such a vision.” Yarael doesn’t try to enter their mind again, but does open his senses between them, benignly inviting Obi-Wan into his own instead. “Show me.”
Obi-Wan is bewildered for all of a moment, eyebrows pinched, but then they blink in understanding and snap their eyes closed. A flurry of images is all but shoved into Yarael’s lower brain, a confusing mash of forests and armor and blasterfire, but, yes, there is Vizsla, and there is Mereel, and there is a Mandalorian in blue armor leaving Mereel to die on the battlefield.
“How are you sure this is Korda 6?” Yarael asks, opening his eyes to Obi-Wan’s mentally-drained expression, tanned skin sallow under the freckles.
“I’ve heard some of the mission report,” they say, and let Master Fodvam gently support them where they had pushed her away before; Yarael will certainly have to teach Obi-Wan to strengthen their mental stamina. “Every night for the last tenday I’ve seen this battle, I’ve seen ten different ways it could go, and all of them end with the True Mandalorians’ slaughter, unless we do something.”
The Quermian looks Obi-Wan up and down once more, reaching as far into the Force as he can manage, and he doesn’t have a lifetime seat on the High Council for nothing.
“Then we’ve not a moment to lose, do we?”
-
If Obi-Wan is surprised Yarael insists on taking them to his ship to join him for his update to the Council, they don’t show it, and don’t appear nervous at all as the holocall connects. In fact, they stand off to the side with their arms behind their back and a serene expression on their face, right until Master Rancisis admits a contingent of Jedi had just left to help a planet deal with a violent insurgence of Mandalorian commandos, led by Jango Fett.
And then Obi-Wan only blinks before turning his gaze up to Yarael. “Then we are too late for Korda 6. We must make for Galidraan.”
The holo of Master Rancisis flickers as he winds and unwinds his appendages until he finally says, “We did not tell you the planet’s name.”
On Rancisis’ left, Master Yoda taps his cane against the floor. “Clear it is, that truth in Novitiate Kenobi’s visions there is. To what extent, we do not know, but great pain I sense if act quickly we do not.”
After meeting each of the other coucilmember’s eyes, Master Rancisis leans forward in his seat and points one undulating finger at Obi-Wan. ”You will go with Master Poof to Galidraan, Novitiate Kenobi; if you leave now, you may make it in time to prevent the Jedi from having a hand in this massacre.”
Obi-Wan checks with Yarael first, their deference almost endearing as they look up at him for confirmation; Yarael cannot help a small smile, and if the Council has not guessed his intentions by now, then they are as blind as a naked womp-rat. “Well, Novitiate Kenobi?” he prompts, “Are you prepared to see this through properly?”
Obi-Wan drops their shoulders to raise their chin instead. “To be truthful, Master Poof, I would have been disappointed to be left behind.”
~
Obi-Wan is already at the hatch of Master Poof’s cruiser when they finally land as close to the coordinates the Council had given them as they dare, and Obi-Wan sorely wishes they had asked Master Fodvam for a blaster before leaving Bandomeer. Nothing can be done for that now, and there is the more pressing matter that Master Poof had been unable to contact the Jedi already planetside, but perhaps they shouldn’t have expected the Force to make it easy on them.
As soon as the cruiser is settled, Obi-Wan elbows the control panel for the landing hatch and drops right down into the snow; they’re not quite dressed for this weather, not coming straight from the desert Enrichment Zone, but they can hardly feel the cold over the cloying, suffocating fear that saturates the air until even the trees tremble with it. And they might be stronger in the Unifying Force than anyone else in the Agricorp, but Obi-Wan hasn’t been wrist-deep in soil for seven years to come out of it without feeling the Living Force just as strongly.
Run, the trees tell them, and they do, pushing themself up onto more compact snow and taking off for the True Mandalorian camp. Master Poof calls after them, but they don’t slow until they reach the top of the nearest ridge, a sheer drop on the other side right into the camp, and Obi-Wan is forced to look out over their worst vision come to life.
The Mandalorians stand as one facing the opening to the ravine on Obi-Wan’s right, where the Jedi spread out among the tents as Master Dooku reads them a list of false wrongs, and Obi-Wan knows the Mandalorians will not surrender. Mand’alor Mereel’s son stands before Dooku in newly-painted blue and red armor, raising his blaster as Dooku ignites his ’saber, and Master Poof halts abruptly at Obi-Wan’s side and lifts a four-fingered hand, but he won’t be able to Force-suggest anyone in beskar, and—
And he has a lightsaber hanging from his belt.
Obi-Wan had not failed their Jedi training, they were bright and talented and wanted absolutely nothing more than to become a Jedi Knight, but their temper had seen Bruck to the Halls of Healing, and their impulsivity had seen them to the Agricorp despite the potential they had shown in their seven years in the crèche.
Their temper, they have control over that now, Obi-Wan is rarely even angry these days, but their impulsivity has been the, ah... cause for many of the Bandomeer masters’ grey hairs, so to speak.
So Obi-Wan does not think before grabbing Master Poof’s ’saber, barely able to even lift the hilt almost as long as their arm, and leaps from the crumbling snowbank with as much Force behind their feet as they can muster. Sound snaps to silence in their ears, vision narrowing on the scant yard between Jango Fett and his death, as Obi-Wan yanks the Living Force around themself and hauls it up right from the ground, grabs it by the roots of the nearest tree until it sings.
By a miracle of the Force, Obi-Wan lands perfectly between the new Mand’alor and the Jedi, igniting Master Poof’s unusually-yellow lightsaber just in time to deflect Jango’s first blaster bolt right into the ground — the ground that shakes and splits, exploding snow into the air to make way for the evergreen roots that surge through the cracks and grab Dooku’s entire arm, sending his ’saber flying.
Obi-Wan inhales once, twice, before allowing their other senses to flood back to them, and the Force sees fit to immediately make them aware of Master Poof stumbling down the bank after them with his upper hands raised in surrender.
“Peace, Jedi!” he shouts, successfully pulling the gaze of everyone in the ravine away from Dooku’s limb held aloft by mud-slick roots and to himself instead. “We have been misled,” he presses on, almost seeming to glide over the packed snow to stand at Obi-Wan’s back and place a palm between their shoulders, “These Mandalorians know nothing of what you speak, Master Dooku, we are both being played by the Governor of Galidraan.”
Jango Fett growls over his external comms, close enough to make Obi-Wan shiver. “What the kriffing fuck is going on?” he snaps, not bothering to drop his blaster as Obi-Wan glances at him and can just see the shadow of his eyes behind his visor.
“Death Watch had the governor call the Jedi here under false pretences, your grace,” Obi-Wan says, and doesn’t know what to make of the way the Mand’alor twitches at their voice. They can feel their shoulder weakening from hefting such a massive hilt, unwieldy even gripped at the balance point, but Obi-Wan refuses to let their arm shake, not with both sides holding them under such scrutiny; Maker, maybe they should have changed into Jedi robes instead of their dark tunics and kama? It gives them a silhouette neither wholly Mandalorian nor wholly Jedi, and certainly only adds to the confusion.
Nothing to be done about it now.
“The governor lied to the Mandalorians about their targets, to perfectly set them up for a Jedi arbitration,” Master Poof explains. “And of course knew that the Mandalorians would never surrender to the Jedi.” He looks slowly around at both parties, letting his words sink in until the Jedi are shutting their lightsabers off in disgust.
The Mandalorians don’t put away their blasters, obviously, but they do lower them enough to be an act of good faith; only when Jango lowers his own does Obi-Wan power down Master Poof’s ’saber, and is all too happy to hand the weighty thing back to him with a shallow bow.
Master Poof smiles in amusement, clipping the hilt back in its rightful place on his belt, before calmly nodding to Dooku. “Novitiate, you may release Master Dooku now.”
Startled, Obi-Wan immediately calls on the Living Force to pull the roots away from the man and coax them back into the ground, hoping they hadn’t damaged anything enough for the evergreen just up the ridge to suffer.
Dooku massages his red wrist and eyes Obi-Wan carefully, the clouds of breath before his lips casting strange shadows over his face in the dying sunlight. “I was not aware the Agricorp was still teaching Consitor Sato to its novitiates. Nor so... successfully.”
“... Master Fodvam would appreciate it if you didn’t mention that to the High Council.”
“I am on the Council, Novitiate Kenobi,” Master Poof chortles, but turns back to the Mandalorians still effusing bewilderment before the new Mand’alor can decide they really are all better off dead. “Mand’alor Fett, I presume?”
Jango shifts subtly, still close enough for Obi-Wan to watch his eyes dart to the Quermian. “For all of a week, jetii; how you are aware of this already does nothing to convince me to trust you. Any of you.”
Master Poof just smiles serenely. “There is little one cannot gather from the Force upon first meeting, your grace. However, you are correct, and I would not be aware of Jaster Mereel's death if my companion had not told me of it.”
Jango doesn't get the chance to ask him to clarify just what that means, the girl padawan at Dooku's side cutting in rudely,
“And Master Poof, just who is your companion?” as if she can’t tell from Obi-Wan’s attire that they were a Jedi Knight washout.
So maybe Obi-Wan doesn’t have complete mastery of their temper just yet, but they don’t get to snarl back before Master Poof answers cheerfully, "They are my new apprentice!"
Oh.
“Master Poof...?”
“I cannot very well leave a novitiate so strong in the Unifying Force untrained, can I?” Master Poof shakes his head. "As the matter stands, our duty to Galidraan is not yet complete: the governor has pulled both the Jedi and the Senate into his personal affairs, and has allied with a known terrorist group. Master Dooku, might I suggest we make to arrest the actual perpetrator of these crimes?”
“Vizsla will be there,” Jango interrupts. “And he must know his plan has failed by now, you'll be walking right into a trap.”
Obi-Wan raises a brow. “A trap meant for you, your grace. When we engage Governor Martinet, it would be unwise for the True Mandalorians to still be on planet.”
“Why do you keep calling us that?" he snaps, the blue-armoured Mandalorian at his side grabbing his shoulder to hold him back from... striking Obi-Wan? From removing his helmet? Obi-Wan isn't sure.
They are sure that, if the Jedi succeed in apprehending Vizsla, the New Mandalorians will make themselves known much earlier. “One day, soon, you will need to make the distinction between yourselves, and those that will use ‘Mandalorian’ as a ploy for cultural reform, as claim to an identity that is not theirs,” Obi-Wan says, finding Jango’s eyes behind his visor once more. “The Children of the Watch will choose ‘True’ as that distinction of your people in retrospect, some fifty years from now.”
The Mandalorian holding Jango’s shoulder tenses. “Are you some sort of prophet, kih’jetii?”
“Hardly,” they smile, because the Force promises to back off a little after this mess is all said and done, whenever that may be. “But the Force decided I was the most likely candidate to make it here in time to stop a genocide, though I’m not sure if it knew how much information I actually needed. Irregardless, everything from today is now changed from any visions I had seen of it, I’m no more a prophet than you are.”
Jango twitches again strangely, and his companion tightens their grip on their blaster.
“Novitiate Kenobi is right,” Poof interjects gently. “You should take your people to regroup and recover, your grace, you will be of no use to the galaxy dead.”
“Wait,” Jango grits through clenched teeth. “It would... be unfair for us not to aid you in this, not when this was our disaster, too.”
“There is no need for that,” Dooku says regally, Force-calling his ’saber back to his hand. “This has become a Senate matter, and to involve yourselves further would be an unnecessary risk.”
“So you... want us to just leave?”
Dooku raises a single eyebrow, expression blank otherwise, but Obi-Wan still shudders at the dark anger in the man, the rage that had hit its boiling point upon first meeting Jango and believing he had slaughtered almost two hundred innocent activists. The Force warns Obi-Wan about that darkness, the way Dooku has not yet released it; it also gives them hope, though, that the master can be pulled back into the light, with a little persuasion and lots of tea.
The conversation has moved on without them when Obi-Wan tries to focus back on the crisis at hand, Jango’s commandos already starting to pack up the camp while Dooku and Master Poof quietly discuss the Jedi’s next moves. Neither seem to have realised Obi-Wan hadn’t been paying attention, which is just fine by them: Master Fodvam is already at wit’s end trying to keep them focused on anything but plants, somedays.
A heavy gaze pulls their own to look up, across the camp to where Jango oversees his people’s retreat, but Obi-Wan knows the Mand’alor’s attention is on them alone. Obi-Wan gazes right back, refusing to the first to look away, and is somehow thrilled rather than disappointed when Jango does just that.
He does not say goodbye, but that’s alright, Obi-Wan knows they’ll be meeting again soon.
~
Following a stomping Jango up into Jaster’s old ship, Myles won’t stop laughing at him.
“‘The one who will speak of the truth,’” he quotes gleefully, just as jovial in his punching of Jango’s sides as he attempts to unbuckle his helmet, and he doesn’t back down even when his Mand’alor growls at him. “Kriff, who knew that witch would end up being so literal?”
“I told you I don’t believe in that osik,” Jango snaps, trying to shove his best friend off of him. “I don't believe in that old hag's ‘prophecy’ any more than I believe in Jedi competence.”
“Ah ah, Jang’alor, you shouldn’t speak of your ba’buir like that, what would Jaster say?”
Jango finally gets his helmet off and yanks his hood down so he can get right in Myles’ face to snarl, “That adiik is not the future of Mandalore, kriff whatever the fuck Jaster’s buir says! One dream and one crazy old enby witch spouting oracle nonsense does not make Obi-Wan Kenobi my destiny.”
Jango doesn’t need to see Myles’ face to know it lights up in victory. “Nobody said their full name, Jang’alor.”
“Finish that thought and I’ll throw you out the airlock.”
-
Mando’a:
Mand’alor — “Sole ruler”, contended ruler of Mandalore.
jetii — “Jedi” sing, pl. jetiise
kih'jetii — “Little Jedi”, highly offensive
osik — impolite form of “dung”, shit
ba'buir/e — “grandparent/s”, gender neutral
adiik — a child aged from 3 to 13, used here as an insult
Cansitor Sato — Traditional High Galactic for “Plant Surge”, a Living Force-related technique of controlling plants (usually vines) to ensnare or slow an enemy; in legends, this was taught to Agricorp members as well, headcanoned here to be usually only taught to master/older members.
Novitiate — personal headcanon for the form of address for non-master members of the Jedi Corps.
#fuck is a mando'a word#anyways#non binary obi wan#bandomeer au#alternate events at galidraan#au#decreased age difference#jango's maybe 22 here?#haven't decided#force sensitive jango fett#(or at least hinted at)#trans obi wan#agricorp au#will i ever stop writing precognitive obi wan probably not#and this obi is definitely a chaos obi#what's this??#hints of a soulmate au???#mayhaps (ღ˘W˘ღ)#*does a jig* more wholesome Not Dark jangobi to welcome in the new year#i'm sorry master poof#i don't think i did you justice#another day another 3000 word prompt response#because i have ZERO (0) self control#prequel trilogy#obi wan kenobi#jango fett#jangobi#yarael poof#I hit tag limit but it didn't tell me so i lost my funniest tags (ღಥ⌣ಥღ)#crispy writes
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Books I’ve Read in 2020
AHello! I’m trying to read as many books as I can during the quarantine, here’s what I’ve finished so far:
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (literary fiction): a son writes a letter about his life to his illiterate mother. Breathtakingly beautiful with it’s way with words this book is lovely and real in the hardest and sweetest ways. The author’s combination of prose and poetry is dazzling and intricate, this book has stuck with me for days afterward. 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (fantasy): a money-lender gets in trouble after bragging she can turn silver into gold and is kidnapped and ordered to do so by a fey creature. It may be that I am the perfect audience for this type of book, but it’s my favorite thing I’ve read all year. It’s a book that equally takes on the fantastical and real-world with compelling female characters at the center of the whole thing. A wonderful fantasy journey inspired by eastern-European Jewish folklore. 5 out of 5 stars.
Through the Woods by Emily Carroll (horror graphic novel): a series of short horror comics. Absolutely bone-chilling! This was a really fun type of scary story, especially the last one which made my skin absolutely crawl. Deliciously eerie, this was treat to read if not a little too short. 4 out of 5 stars.
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (magical realism): a young girl can taste other people’s emotions in their cooking and begins to understand her family in new ways. This was a weird book, but it has everything you’ve got to love about that combination of the surreal and mundane. It’s sense of character was electrifying and I had fun engaging with this type of off-kilter real world. I was a little frustrated in parts bc of some characters choices, but that too was true to life. 4 out of 5 stars.
Crier’s War by Nina Varela (steampunk fantasy wlw): about a Made automaton heir to a throne and her human hand-maiden that is trying to kill her. This was an easy read with a lot of tension between the two main characters that I liked, but the writing itself was very weak. There was waaay too much exposition in parts and the dialogue had some really hockey lines. I enjoyed the twists and turns in the middle of the book, but the beginning and end didn’t have much movement. 2.5 stars out of 5.
The Huntress by Kate Quinn (historical fiction): honestly, I’m a little disappointed. This book just did not hit my sweet spots, it wasn’t fast-paced enough for me to get immersed in the plot, and the characters weren’t real enough to be wholly invested in them. That said I adored Nina Markova and the Night Witches, so that did help. 3 starts out of 5.
The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White (horror sci-fi retelling): HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. A retelling of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s wife and my God! The characters! The plot was well-enough, but the characters took the whole show for being complex and compelling. The main character was breathtakingly layered and I was wholly invested in Elizabeth and her story and the triumph at the end of this story was tangible. 4 out of 5 stars!
Uprooted by Naomi Novik (fantasy): A story of a young woman who lives in a valley where a girl must go live with a wizard for 10 years. She is certain she won’t be chosen, but ends up having to be “uprooted” herself. I enjoyed most of this book! However, I think I liked “Spinning Silver” a lot more just because the ending of this one somehow lost me. The characters were good and plot compelling, but (SPOILERS) the big battle at the end seemed to drag and didn’t interest me somehow. 3.8 out of 5 stars.
Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fantasy): excellent read! A story of a young woman in Jazz Age Mexico who goes on an adventure with a Mayan death God who is trying to regain his throne. A romp across the country absolutely brimming with likable characters and fairy tale twists. My only complaint would be that most of it felt a little predictable due to the fact we knew where we were going throughout the whole story, However, it was still greatly enjoyable for the heroine herself, Casiopea. 4 out of 5 stars!
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (literary): a story of two families in a progressive “planned” community, how their lives intertwine, their secrets, and a central question surrounding motherhood. Deeply empathetic to its characters and introspective, this is an every-day story of people in suburbia that reads like a thriller. I could barely put it down and felt deeply for its characters and situations, 5 out of 5 stars!
Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA sci-fi suspense): a story of a group of girls at a boarding school on an island affected by the “tox” which alters their bodies in strange ways like giving them scales or an extra spine. This was an eerie, interesting read with a wlw romance! Watch out for the body horror in this one, but it was very gripping and held my interest. Some of the pacing was off in places (like the romance), but had a very creepy atmosphere that did it for me. 3.8 out of 5 stars!
If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (thriller-mystery): A thriller about a group of Shakespeare actors in their last year of college and one of their classmates who turns up dead. I enjoyed the murder mystery part of this novel more than I expected despite the fact I had guessed who had “done it” pretty early on. I really enjoyed the James-Oliver dynamic with its growing homoeroticism, but I didn’t like how the character of Meredith was handled at all. She felt like a one-note aside. I might have given this book four stars, but the ending was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I did not like the “open-ended” conclusion. 3 out of 5 stars.
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): a weird character-driven comedy about an old grumpy man and a new family that moves in next to him. Warning for themes of suicide. Anyway, I don’t normally indulge in cliches like “I laughed, I cried, I loved one Cat Annoyance.” However, that’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud, I cried my eyes out (THE CAT’S HEAD WAS IN HIS PALM), I loved this book. It was sweet and compelling and thoroughly immersive. 5 out of 5 stars!
The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (historical fantasy): set in the early 1900s comes a story of a young girl and her experience with “Doors” that lead to different worlds. This book had a lot of great character development and really interesting descriptions, however, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. I found it hard to get myself to sit down a read it. There was just something missing with the push to “page-turn,” but it was still a really good book. 3.7 out of 5 stars!
Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (high fantasy, kinda gay): I AM FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. This was book was definitely a page-turner. I was very confused with it at the beginning, but the characters and their interactions were, forgive the expression, the life blood of the story and kept me wholly invested. The ending has CRUSHED my heart, but damn did I have a good time reading it. 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Harrow the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (sequel to Gideon the 9th): I really enjoyed this book. It was just as strange and twisting as the first book, though I think I enjoyed the first one a bit more since I love Gideon. It was fun ride overall, though the ending was kind of really confusing. So 4 out of 5 stars.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (historical fiction): Overall, I really enjoyed this book! The writing style was personable and grounded in reality. I found myself really liking the main characters and the exploration of the life of a bi main character was really well done I thought. A solid book with drama and glamor to boot. 4.6 out of 5 stars!
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (historical fiction): A story of two sisters during WWII and their resistance to Nazi occupation. To be honest, this book wasn’t my cup of tea. It was compelling, but also wholly depressing and I felt like gloried in the pain of the two main characters too much. The history was wonderful and realistic, but it didn’t make me feel anything good afterward. It was just dark. 3 out of 5 stars.
Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm romance): I finally finished this after the heaviness of The Nightingale. This is a story of the First Son of the USA falling for the prince of England. And it turned out to be a very fun and light hearted read! Some of it was kinda generic and too political, and it coulda been shorter, but I thought the romance itself made up for it. It just made me feel so sweet and lovely inside. 4 out of 5 stars!
Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): I’m searching out heartfelt books and this one ticked off all the marks on my “sweet” list. A lovely book that made me cry more times than I would like to admit. Compassionate beyond belief, funny and heartfelt. I think I enjoyed A Man Called Ove slightly more, but this book was also dear to me and something I hope to reread in the future. 4.2 out of 5 stars!
Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel (sci-fi): A post-apocalyptical story about a group of traveling Shakespeare actors and a symphony. Overall, an excellent read that somehow pictures a more realistic or even softer version of the apocalypse. At first, I wasn't happy with the jumping around of the story, but as I progressed I grew fonder and fonder of the interwoven characters and their journey. A very fascinating read about a world that hits a little too close to home. The appreciation of the arts and preserving humanity was somehow very hopeful and I was fully engaged with this story. 5 out of 5 Stars!
Up next: The Hidden Life of Trees by by Peter Wohlleben (nonfiction science), The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin (urban fantasy), The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (fantasy)
#I'll keep this list updated!#am reading#bookblr#IA talks#I've mostly read books I've really liked this year!#then again I rarely finish books I don't like
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I’ve written a lot of GoUta fics,
Sharing all of them here would take forever. So, just sharing my favorites!
First and foremost, however, I want to say that I adore, absolutely adore (and find myself always re-reading!) onemoreword’s works. These fics are the pinnacle of everything I could want from GoUta. The world this author has created, the grasp they have of the characters -
onemoreword’s writing is simple and straightforward, yet so beautiful, so haunting. They’re the best for me, in a ship with so many awesome authors and stories already. UwU
PrettyKittyLuvsU also holds a special place in my heart!
Their fics are just so pure and deep. Mine’s are really just surface, just to get me through my brainrot fics. 🤣 I’m trying to write stories with deeper insight into the characters in canon, but, it’s taking me forever to build a story. The rules set by the JJK world, their dynamics, the tone I want to achieve of their relationship, are all so tedious to factor in. Most of what I’ve written are AUs and fluff because I just put in the bickering and teasing and call it a day. xD
I’m trying with Still Blue, This Black Sky, but it’s a new fic. And I’ve just come up with a plot. I’m only updating once I have a draft of the entire story. Posting without one is a pain, I lost my way a lot with 01 and Cast Away.
I also reread my fics! I write fanfics after all, so I can read my HCs. Hahahaha
So, if you happen to find my fics fun to read too, we’re in the same boat! xD
Ao3 says I’ve written 21 JJK stories. 🤣🤣
This shipper’s brainrot is too real, too potent. 🤣🤣 I can’t even with my self. 🤣🤣
Here are my favorite stories to reread -
1. Drinking Parties - Canon-Compliant, Funny
A series of oneshots following GoUta go from bar to bar.
And now, there they were. At their drinking party. The drinking party where Gojo said everyone would be going to. It would be fun, he told her. Everyone would have a such a blast, he said.
Honestly, Utahime could only blame herself for being foolish enough to believe him.
This damn idiot. She thought with a glare as she slammed her mug of beer on the table.
"You're really mad." Gojo looks at her with a curiosity. "Why?"
Why? Utahime seethed. "Where the hell is everyone?!" She threw her glass at him. And his infinity just catapulted it away and made a shattering mess on the floor.
"That wasn't nice, Utahime." He shakes his head at her. "It's that time of the month, huh?"
Utahime flushes red the next second. And with an embarrassed cry, she reached out for Gojo's very own glass and flung it at him as well.
"You're paying!" She screamed at him in finality when she's gotten tired of his stupid infinity. And she drops back to her seat and yells for the waitress to serve them a round of beer.
"Drink!" She barks at him when he was just playing with his glass. "Drinking party, my ass." She grumbles to the rim of her mug. And she downed her drink in one go.
2. The Clearing - Series of AUs, Japanese Folklore AU, Samurai AU, Pirate AU
A series of AUs covering soulmates over the course of history.
(Pirate AU)
They were cruising in the high seas when Satoru was leaning on his back against a wooden pillar, idly sharpening his knife. He was whistling to himself when a crew member walks up to him with an anxiousness about him.
"Um, captain," He didn't know what to say; how to say it. "I think I found a stowaway."
Satoru turned to him with a dangerous twitch in his eye.
"What?" He spits with a venom.
And in the next instant, a woman in menswear was thrown before him at the deck.
He took it as a personal offense that anyone dared board his ship without his express approval. Let alone a woman. He spat at her gall. He would have her head, he thinks to himself in a growing spite.
"The sharks are going to be full today." He tells his crew coldly as he looked at the woman who didn't dare face him, whose angry gaze was directed to the wooden floorboards.
"Have any final words before you die?" He asks her to make peace with her inevitable demise.
And when she doesn't speak, Satoru just waves a lazy hand, signaling to his crew to just get it over with.
But before anyone could touch the woman, she speaks in a low voice, "I'll do anything."
Satoru turns to her with a confusion, with a raised brow.
"What?"
And she suddenly looks up at faces him with a fierce glare in her eyes.
"I'll do anything! So, let me stay on board!" She cries. And her hands clench against the wooden boards; the smell of the ocean consuming her; the adventure she's yearned for her whole life was so close she could taste it. "Let me stay!"
Satoru leans back, surprised.
Then, he starts to smile a sinister smile.
"Do you even know what you're saying?"
Utahime clenches her jaw.
"Do you have any idea where we're going?" He laughs at her dryly and crouches down at her; his face patronizing.
"You won't last a day with us."
"You'll get raped."
"You'll get killed."
"You might even just stub your toe and start crying for your mom." He laughs at how ridiculous she was.
Then, he pokes her cheek with the dull end of his knife.
"Don't be stupid."
I can’t even begin to say how much I love this Pirate AU. I love all the AUs in this story. I love everything I write honestly, even if it’s just plain crack. xD
But, they’re just so cute in this AU. I love them so much. And I owe readers a sequel.... 🤣🤣
3. the most valuable relationship to a sorcerer is friendship - Canon-Compliant, Friends at a wedding, Have a serious conversation, about their life as sorcerers
Uta and Satoru find themselves attending the wedding of a mutual friend.
He finds her in a bar alone, nursing a drink. And when her gaze drifts from her beverage to him, she almost spits out her drink.
"What are you doing here?!" She cried at him in dismay. And Gojo just chuckled as he approached her.
"You don't have to be so mad about it." He tells her with a small smile. "I'm on vacation."
"You take vacations?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Occasionally." Gojo grins at her. "Rarely." He adds. And Utahime frowns at him when he eventually says, "Mostly never."
"You here for the wedding?"
And he laughs again when Utahime just turns away with a deep sigh.
"I am." She sips her drink. And, she fights back the twitch in her eye when Gojo takes the empty seat next to her.
"Shall we go together, then?"
Utahime turns to frown at him.
"You think I came here alone?" She hisses at him in disbelief.
And Gojo just smiles at her. "Didn't you?" Then, he laughs when Utahime relents.
"Fine." She sighs. "I still can't accept that out of everyone I know, I run into you, you of all people, in Hawaii." She groaned to the heavens. And Gojo just chuckles. "In Hawaii, Gojo. Why?" She cried to the heavens for an answer. Why did they have to keep torturing her?
"Must have been something you did in a past life." Gojo offers with a laugh, resting his cheek on the palm of his hand.
Beside him, Utahime's face soured.
4. Sweet - Modern AU, Barista Utahime, Cafe Shop
Uta is worried about the health of one of her regulars.
"I can't, in good conscience, serve you anymore bubble tea."
"You took an oath or something?" He smirks. "Not to over serve poor salarymen with a sweet tooth?"
Utahime raises a brow and bites back her laugh.
"So," The man leaned over the counter with his smile, looking down at the selection of drinks in the menu laid on the bar. "What would you recommend I get?"
"An americano." She simply tells him and slips cups for a previous order into the plastic melder to seal them.
"All right." The patron smiles, too wide, and too familiar for Utahime's liking.
What was wrong with this guy, she couldn't help but frown in discomfort.
"But, add three tablespoons of honey." The man adds, and laughs at the look of disbelief on Utahime's face. "What? Honey's not sugar."
"It is..." Utahime couldn't believe this guy. "Whatever." She sighs and prepares his order. But, instead of the three spoonfulls of honey, she put a single teaspoon.
And when he drinks it in front of her, she laughs out loud at the disgusted, sour look on his face. And he demanded she give him five packets of sugar.
5. Immature - Canon-Compliant, Gojo “teasing” Utahime, First Meeting, Childhood GoUta
Uta finally meets the kid with the Six Eyes.
When the family before them leaves, when they're presented as the Iori house, Utahime is fuming red. But she bites her tongue and keeps her mouth shut in respect for her parents, for her relatives around her.
And when she sees how the six year old looked at her condescendingly, slouched forward on his seat, looking at her with his calculating eyes, seemingly appraising her; she starts to shake in a growing rage.
Then, he smirks. The six year old smirks at her.
And something inside her snaps when he tells her, when he chuckles and tells her,
"Did you know?" He smirks at her with a chuckle in his lips. "Did you know you're so weak?"
Red with rage, before her mother could stop her again, Utahime cries out and angrily grabs the empty juice box in front of her; and she throws it at the six year old; hitting him square on the face.
And he flushes. In an instant, he flushes red. A very, very angry, humiliated red.
"Utahime?!" Her mother cried out in dismay.
And Utahime had to be dragged out before she could get her claws at the six year old and set him straight.
6. Red, Blue, and The Purple Moon - Canon-compliant, Post-Shibuya Incident Arc, GoUta living together, Powerless Gojo
GoUta play house.
"Wow," She mouthed, not noticing how Gojo's face paled. "I actually got to hit you for once." She unconsciously ruffled the hair on the top of his head, making the strongest sorcerer twitch in annoyance.
"I can actually hit you, now." She suddenly gripped his head with some force. And Gojo could only look in horror at the murderous glint in her eyes.
"Utahime..." He tries to laugh it off, the growing tension in the air. And he tries to take Utahime's hands in his, tries to pull her hands off him, when Utahime suddenly looks down at him with a demented glare on her face and started chuckling.
"Gojo," She smiles at him sinisterly. "Do you remember," Her hands started to trail down from his hair, from his face to his neck. "Do you remember how you've been calling me weak since we've known each other?"
Gojo tries to smile back, tries to laugh with her; "Of course," He forces a chuckle. "We have our fun, Utahime!"
"Fun?!" Gojo sees the murderous glint flash in her eyes too late. And the next thing he knew, Utahime started choking him and shaking him like there was no tomorrow.
This is my first fic. I’ve had to rewrite this a lot, since I’m learning so much more about their world and the characters. Still, I really love this. I love the fact that Gojo is powerless. HAHAHA. I will definitely find myself editing this fic again. But I love it already as is.
While I love No Love and 01, and all the other fics, I do not like angst. Just thinking about how it’ll hurt later on is just so painful. I don’t know what’s up with people and pain, but those who’ve read my stories seem to prefer angst. The heck. 🤣 Isn’t JJK canon enough pain for you guys? 🤣🤣
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Danse Macabre
Finally! After so many days of writing, I have finally finished my biggest fanfic yet! It's another Phantom x Peach fanfic and it is a bit of a sequel to my previous one "Encore at Midnight". I had this really cool story concept for a little while and I felt like I just could not do anything else unless I write it down. It was a bit of an experiment since I had to do a little bit of research just to pull some things off (however, it is far from perfect, so please forgive me). Also, I have officially made some OCs for this fanfic, yay! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy what I have created!
Number of Pages: 17
Word Count: 9358
[Content includes: Themes of Death/Mortality and Some Suggestiveness (not smut though!), OC “Death”, Graphic Body Horror, and Slight Profanity]
For @salamifuposey, @kindpopstar, @jawaii-chan, and everyone else who wants to read this fanfic!
____________________________________________________________
My Dearest Princess,
Forgive my absence these past few days. I have been preparing the final touches in my newest masterpiece, and I have been dying to show you what I have created. It is something I have not done before; consider it an experiment of sorts. My excitement cannot be contained any longer! Tonight, I invite you to a performance unlike anything you have seen before. I have arranged a carriage to arrive at your castle at around midnight. It will take you to Spooky Trails, where I have made refuge, and you will be accompanied along the way. She will be your guide, and I assure you she will not lead you astray. I pray you receive this letter and that you accept the invitation.
Your Humble Host,
P
---
Princess Peach reads and rereads the letter. So many questions run through her mind. What does he mean by “experiment”? What kind of performance will this be? And who is this guide? She looks up from the letter, and across from her is an unfamiliar face. Sitting across from her is a woman looking out of the carriage window, admiring the night sky. Or, at least it seems like she is, for the bright reflection on her tea shades completely covered her eyes. Her guide is abnormally slender and taller than her, however she could not tell exactly how much. Her alabaster skin pops in contrast of her dark attire, which consists of a frilly ivory blouse and high-low trail skirt, a velvet violet corset, leather pants, and a long onyx black coat embellished with jewels. Her frizzy, unkept silver hair is pulled up into two buns with small strands of hair shimmering like a diamond. Peach had never seen anyone quite like her before; it’s like she came from another world entirely. The guide turns her attention from the view towards Peach and smiles. Peach averts her eyes and looks towards the window – it was rude to stare, especially at a stranger. “So, you must be the one my master has been interested in all this time? He has told me so much about you.”, the guide spoke. Peach brings her attention back towards the guide. “I am, miss.”, she responds, “And, he has?”
“Oh yes! He is simply infatuated with you! I dare say, obsessed, even. And now that I have a chance to see you up close, I can definitely see why.”
“Infatuated is a good word to describe him. He has shown his affection quite often since our first reunion.”
“Has he now?”
“Mm-hmm. He’s been nothing but a gentleman towards me, even if he does get pretty… excitable from time to time.”
“Consider yourself lucky, your highness. Having an enthusiastic partner makes the relationship a lot more interesting!”
“Well, yes, I agree… I- um…”
“Is there something wrong?”
“Phantom and I have only met a little while now; almost a month I believe. I’m not sure if I want to start referring to him as my partner.”
“Just yet, you mean?”
“Oh, please don’t get me wrong, I do like him! I just like to… take things a little slow.”
“Ah, I see. I completely understand. You want to get to know him a little bit more before you make any decisions. A rather smart move on your part.”
“Exactly.”
“Don’t tell anyone this, but my master isn’t one to do such a thing. That is not to say he’s completely reckless, but whenever there’s something – or someone – he’s interested in, he becomes determined. Stubborn even. And personally, it is not his best quality sometimes. It makes him look like a moron. A blind one at that.”
“I guess you can say he becomes inspired. Phantom is an artist, after all. Art is meant to invoke emotion, no matter the medium. It would make sense that he himself is the same way.”
“Insightful! And right you are.”
“Not to mention, Phantom is an opera singer. Opera, of course, is highly emotional and very dramatic, and so is he.”
“That too. I know this might be a personal question, but your first reunion with my master…”
“Yes?”
“What happened that night? I ask because I remember seeing him wallowing in shame after his trip over to the Mushroom Kingdom. When he returned, he threw himself onto his fainting couch, murmuring curses, almost about to cry.”
“Oh my! Well, Phantom was in the ballroom inside my castle that night. He was singing this beautiful melody. When I found him, we talked for a bit and discovered we both have something in common.”
“And what would that be?”
“Companionship.”
“Ah…”
“As we talked, he told me about his life after that battle at Spooky Trails a few years ago. He was so lonely, unable to find friends to call his own. Soon he became… anxious. I cannot describe exactly what came over him, but it was obvious he was in pain. Then, his eyes turned red, and suddenly darkness. I fainted.”
The guide stares at Peach, her mouth slightly agape. Although her tea shades cover her eyes, her expression is readable. It is a look of shock – that look of knowing exactly what had just happened with Phantom on that very night. She sighs, “I see. That is not the first time he has done that. My master can be terrifying when he has his moments.”
“Everything was just so overwhelming. I was scared, yes, but afterwards I was more concerned of his well-being. I cannot bear to see someone in pain; being alone can take a toll on anyone… Oh, that poor thing! He must’ve thought that he harmed me when I fainted!” Peach exclaimed. Silence takes over the conversation. Peach’s eyes wander towards the carriage floor while the guide’s attention never breaks. Her eyebrows furrowed, Peach fidgets with her gloves. The guide adjusts her position, leaning over towards the worried princess. She reaches out and holds her hand; Peach stops fidgeting. “I’m glad that you care about him, your highness. Very few do.” she gently smiles, “There have been many times I believed that the only people who care about him is me and the others.”
“The others?”, Peach asks.
“The rest of my master’s theatre troupe. Just like him, we are all one with music.”
“…may I ask what is your name?
“My name? Oh-! my name, how could I forget my manners? How rude of me! I am Dolores, your highness.”
“And if I may ask as well, if you don’t mind, where do you come from?”
Before Dolores has a chance to answer, a flash of shadows sped by the carriage. Dolores motions towards the window, her head peeking out, looking over the view. Her pearl white teeth shows as she grins from ear to ear. “We’re almost there! Ah, soon you will experience the greatest show yet, Princess Peach!”, she exclaims with glee. Peach takes a look at her window. Memories flooded her mind like a rushing river coursing through the barren earth. Spooky Trails.She remembers now; it was all coming back to her. This was all leading to the very location where her battle with Phantom took place. She, alongside Mario, Luigi, and a few Rabbids, witnessed Phantom’s creation and fought him as he flaunted about on the old, decrepit stage. To think, he was an almost entirely different person. Phantom wasn’t as gentlemanly as he is as of recently, but since their first reunion, he has been wanting things to change.
He wants her. Her heart. Her soul. Her beauty. Everything.
To think it has come to this. To think the princess, who has been known for being saved by her plumber in shining armor and being in love with him, would fall for such a character. But has she truly fallen for Phantom? Or is it all just nonsense? If it was just nonsense, then why would she accept the invitation? Peach takes in the environment as the carriage rolls across the cobblestone path, driving through the dead trees and the old, seemingly abandoned village. Despite having never returned after the battle, Peach regains her memories of Spooky Trails, almost to the point of knowing exactly where Phantom resides. Dolores returns to her position, her shining grin still on her face. Peach turns her attention back at Dolores and asks, “What was the inspiration behind this performance?”
“I would tell you, but it would ruin the surprise! My master has ordered all of us to never reveal his masterpiece until it is time.” Dolores answers.
“Oh…”
“All I can say is that this is no ordinary performance. My master is quite the visionary, you know!”
“Very well, then. I won’t ask any more questions, if it’s going to ruin the surprise.”
“Are you excited, your highness?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not often that I get invited to such events.”
“Really? But you’re royalty! I thought you would be invited to all sorts of performances.”
“I do, but it just doesn’t happen that often, and I honestly don’t know why. I adore the theater!”
“We all do too. Our lifestyle is nothing but the theater… quite literally!”
“Gosh, that must be so wonderful, to be part of a theatre troupe. To perform for all to see, to entertain others through amazing plays! I’ve always wished to join when I was a little girl.”
“Oh! Would you look at that! We’ve finally arrived!”
After what it seemed like more than an hour, the carriage, at long last, finally stops. Dolores gets up from her seat, slowly crawling her way out of the carriage. Her elongated body almost struggles through the small door, but she succeeds with grace. She then offers her hand to Peach with a softer smile, “Your midnight show awaits, Princess Peach…” Taking Dolores’ hand, Peach steps out of the carriage and immediately she is greeted by a massive silver gate. The very gate that stands guard the entrance to Phantom’s stage. It is beautifully sculpted, shaped into swirls and patterns holding up an illuminating full moon, with two music notes placed on each side as the borders. Yes, Peach remembers now. Dolores walks up to the gate and peers through it. She waves at something or something – Peach could not tell – and opens it, allowing themselves to enter. Peach follows behind. She didn’t know how tall Dolores was when they were in the carriage, but now she could get a good look at her stature. Dolores was tall – taller than any human she has ever seen before. If Peach could guess, her guide was three to four (maybe five!)feet taller than her and was practically towering over her. Ever since they met, she had this feeling of uneasiness. Who is this woman? What is this woman? Where did she come from? So many questions. There was something off about Dolores, and it wasn’t necessarily her abnormal physique. There was something, but Peach couldn’t put her finger on it. Whatever it was…. Perhaps she doesn’t need to worry too much about it.
Approaching the decrepit stage, the two ladies are met by a small man wielding a large, glowing lantern. This man is the opposite of Dolores in terms of height and physique. He is a short and stout dwarf, donning a regal yellow robe over his slightly mismatched clothes. The light emanating from the lantern reveals his nicely trimmed beard, his long, curly chocolate brown hair tied back into a ponytail, his fluorescent amber eyes giving them a warm welcome. His smile grew bigger once Dolores waves again; he waves back. “Dolores, there you are! And you brought our special guest! Wunderbar! It is a pleasure to meet you, eure hoheit.”, the dwarf greets them, bowing in courtesy. “Are the others ready, Stefan?”, Dolores asks.
“We’ve been ready for a while now. Just making sure everything is perfect for tonight.”
“And what about our master?”
“He will not show his face. In fact, he wants me to tell you that no one must see him until he has shown himself to us all.”
“Ah, well that makes things interesting.”
“I agree. Anyway, enough chit chat! Let us proceed! We must not keep our master’s little freundin waiting.”
“Por favor, Stefan! Don’t tease… that’s my job.”
Stefan chuckles as he ushers them to go into the stage. Dolores follows Stefan, and Peach follows Dolores. They all walk deeper through the torn platform and dusty curtains. Damaged props, broken wires, hanging ropes, and mangy fabrics scatter the place. The further deeper they went, the larger the backstage seems to be. Peach looks in awe as she continues to follow her guides. Who knew that this abandoned stage held such secrets? After a few minutes of walking, Stefan places his lantern on the floor, lighting up the entire floor, and begins to crawl on his hands and knees. His fingers trace the nooks and crannies of the floorboards, mumbling to himself. He searches until he finds a small hole and grabs it. The hole turns out to be a handle, and Stefan pulls and lifts up the floorboards. He reveals a decent sized door leading to a much darker pathway – a long stone stairway stretching far into a secret tunnel. Stefan’s lantern gave light to the darkness, making the trip down into the underground refuge much less intimidating. Dolores holds Peach’s hand as they go down the stairs. This was such an odd way of attending a performance. Peach could not imagine what kind of performance involves having to venture underground in order to see it. What could she possibly expect from all of this? Part of her mind began screaming for help, pleading to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Part of her mind wanted normalcy, no surprises. It wanted her to stop and return to her chamber, to her castle, to Mario and her friends. However, the other part was curious. It was that familiar curiosity – the same curiosity she had when first reunited with Phantom. She could never forget that night. Never in a lifetime. Everything about him, whether it be music or shadow, is just so…. Alluring.
Alluring… Beguiling… Captivating… Enchanting…
Her mind finally gives in. She goes for the latter. How could she not? She has ventured too deep into this tunnel to start leaving. For once, she is able to take a break from her royal duties. To forget her troubles. To finally experience something new. For once. As for curiosity, she was more concerned about Phantom. Why would he not allow anyone to see him? Of course, it must be for the performance, but what exactly does Phantom have in store? The more Peach thought about him, the more impatient she became. Phantom. Oh, where are you, Phantom? Her mind falls into that familiar trance. She wants to see him again. She wants to hear him again. Perhaps Peach has become just as obsessed as he is with her. This must be an addiction. It must be. If it wasn’t, then she would never be where she is right now. Whether it be curiosity, obsession, or madness, Peach will continue to walk into shadow if it meant she will meet her friend again. Stefan, Dolores, and Peach finally reach the end of the tunnel, finding a wooden door decorated with gold etchings, which looked out of place amongst the cobweb-shrouded stone walls. With a strong push, Stefan enters through, allowing the door to creak wide open. Behind the door is a humongous hallway, adorned from wall to wall with a vast multitude of paintings, flyers and posters of plays and musicals, candles, and curtains. To think a dusty tunnel would lead to a beautiful makeshift palace! It’s like discovering a treasure chest inside of a dank, murky swamp. Is this where Phantom was residing all these years? Peach gasps. Dolores turns around and smiles, “Welcome to our humble abode, your highness. In this place, music is our lifeforce. We eat, we drink, we breathe, we sleep in music. Just like our master, we are not only creators of art – we are art itself. And tonight, we shall once again breathe life into another masterpiece. I cannot describe how immensely happy we all are. We are so glad that you accepted our master’s invitation, you will not regret it! Now, come along with me, let us go into the Ladies’ Dressing Room. Natasha has designed a wonderful costume for you to wear, and Ophelia will help you with your hair and makeup. I assure you they will make you absolutely gorgeous. Of course, that is not to say you’re not already beautiful.”
Stefan leaves the two ladies and heads towards the Gentlemen’s Dressing Room, which is across from the Ladies’ Dressing Room to the left, placing the lantern onto an iron hook built into the wall. “Well, I’m going to get myself ready and meet up with the others. I’ll see you all at the Gallery! Bis bald!”, he says as he closes the door. Dolores enters through the door to the right and holds it open for Peach to walk into the room. There sitting inside are twin sisters, both garbed in fine, flowy silk and chiffon gowns, working on their latest projects. To the left is a somber young lady sitting near a vanity, dressed all in Aegean and periwinkle blue, her pale pink hair intertwined into exquisite dreadlocks that reaches down to her shoulders. Wrapped around her head is a flower crown composed of lavender, Baby’s Breath, Fairy Foxgloves, and Forget-Me-Nots. To the right is a cheery young lady wearing a similar gown but in shades of fuchsia and rose, checking over the details of an extravagant costume, which is porcelain and peach in color. Her pale blue hair is also made of dreadlocks, as well as composed with the same flowers with the addition of small vines, but is pinned up into a lovely cornrow braided bun. The twin in pink looks up from her work and gasps, “Dolores, you’re back! And the princess is here! Ophelia, look! They’re here!” Ophelia turns around, her saddened expression softening into a weak smile, “Oh, hello again. And it’s nice to finally meet you, your highness.”
Dolores greets them back, turning her attention back to Natasha’s project, “Is the costume ready?”
“Yes, it is! I was just making sure everything’s perfect!”
“It looks amazing! Buen Trabajo!”
“Aww, thank you!”
“Alright, now we must hurry. I need to be in costume. I’ll meet you all in the Gallery, and don’t dottle please.”
“Don’t worry, Dolores, we’ll be ready as soon as possible.”
Dolores leaves Peach with Natasha and Ophelia, entering through a darkened room to get ready for the performance. Once she leaves, Peach witnesses what is perhaps the most amazing thing she has ever seen. The speed in which Natasha and Ophelia got her ready for the performance was astounding. What should have lasted for about a few hours or so ended up lasted for a few mere minutes! No human possesses this level of speed, especially with makeup. Any makeup artist would take their time getting every detail right. There would be no possible way anyone could apply eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, concealer, lipstick, and every other detail really fast without messing up. But Ophelia proved that such an ability was possible. Natasha was no different. She helped Peach get into the extravagant costume without any struggle at all, as it fit perfectly onto her frame. How did she get her size just right? And it’s so comfortable too! “And… done! Oh, look at you! You are just beautiful, your highness! Don’t you think so, Ophelia?”, Natasha exclaims happily, proud of her job well done. “Oh yes, I agree…”, Ophelia smiles weakly again. Peach looks over to a nearby mirror. They were right; she is beautiful. Perhaps even more so, she thinks to herself, for she had never worn anything like this before. It is true that, being of royal blood, she is accustomed to an extremely elaborate (and expensive) wardrobe. But this… this is different from any other dress. It is a ballroom gown, completely encrusted with diamonds and pearls, with lovely black roses making a long trail from her waist down to the skirt. The white skirt is massive, flowing down towards the floor like a mass of billowing fog. Her shoulders and bosom are exposed completely, giving room for a glistening choker made of the same jewels. Her hair is done up in a high bun, lightly sprinkled with silver glitter, and tied together with another black rose.
She looks heavenly. Like an angel.
With everything all set and done, Natasha and Dolores begin preparing themselves. As they do, Ophelia pauses for a moment. “Oh, your highness! I almost forgot something. Before we go, our master wanted me to give you this.”, Ophelia says, handing her a small card. It reads: For the Princess. Before heading back to primp herself, her expression slowly turns gloomy, barely keeping up with her smile, “You are so lucky to be chosen…” Peach turns over the card as she waits for the twins to get ready and continues to read:
Tonight’s performance is a one-of-a-kind experience. You, my dear, will not only be the audience, but also part of the story! Everything and everyone around you will be interactive, so please do not be shy. Converse with your newly found friends! Eat, drink, dance with your heart’s content! And please, do not wait for me. I hope you enjoy my masterpiece.
- P
Ah ha! So, this is what Phantom’s performance is! It is a role-playing experience, and based on what the card says, it must be a party he’s hosting. What delightful news! Although, Peach must admit that she has never role-played before, especially in something like this. But wait – didn’t she say to Dolores earlier that being part of the theatre was her childhood dream? Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity to try out her acting skills! Peach beams. She could not believe Phantom would make something like this. Whatever this role-playing party entails, she thinks to herself, she’s going to do the best she can. “We’re ready!” Natasha exclaims in a sing-song tone, “Are you ready, Ophelia?” Ophelia nods. Natasha excitedly takes both her and Peach’s hands, leading them out of the Ladies’ Dressing Room and into the Gallery. Peach almost could not keep up with the twins, for they have remarkable speed, as shown by their natural talents on makeup and costuming. How fast can could they possible go? If this is how fast they can walk, then how fast can they run? Natasha’s ecstatic giggling echoes through the hallway, and with every step they take, the upbeat tempo of music could be heard from behind the Gallery doors. The closer they went, the louder it became. The melody drifts in the air like a calm perfume for the ears, capturing Peach’s attention with its harmonious essence. A delicious delicacy for the senses. Just like Phantom’s voice. He must have composed this melody, for there is no way Peach could have been so immersed and entranced by its sound if it wasn’t. The three ladies approach the Gallery doors, the music muffled behind them. Natasha takes a glance back at Peach and Ophelia, unable to contain her excitement anymore.
She pushes the doors wide open.
What words could possibly describe the sheer extravagance of the Gallery? To think that all of this is completely underground! To think Phantom created this gargantuan chamber, big enough for him and perhaps one hundred guests! Maybe even more than that. Peach could tell, just by admiring the Gallery, Phantom is quite the fan of marble, silver, and velvet. Marble floors and pillars framing the chamber and silver-framed mirrors and portraits decorate the walls. Deep black velvet curtains cascade from the middle of the ceiling and down towards the floor, giving the appearance of one massive Bohemian tent. In the middle hangs a glamourous jeweled chandelier, giving a dim light to the darkness. Looking around, Peach notices there are seven rooms divided by the curtains, each one color-coded, with three rooms on both towards the left and right. To the left are the colors blue, purple, and green, and to the right are orange, white, and violet. The seventh room is located right in front of the ladies, right across from the Gallery entrance. Inside is completely shrouded in shades of red – wine, scarlet, crimson, garnet – and there sits in a shiny throne a crowned gentleman – a prince – with a glass of Amontillado in his hand. His wavy, champagne blonde hair falls delicately around his party mask and square facial structure. His rosy lips gently purse as he raises his glass to drink. He is accompanied by two other women, who are garbed to the nines in the richest finery, blushing and laughing amongst themselves. Every now and then, the prince would turn to one of them and whisper in their ear, making their faces turn into deeper shades of red. As Peach follows Natasha and Ophelia, she finds more guests, all conversing amongst one another in the color-coded rooms. The costumes they wear are vibrant in color and theme, ranging from jesters, to creatures, to knights, to fairies and pixies. These guests, including the prince himself, must all be part of Phantom’s theatre troupe. Peach begins to count: one… two… four… six… nine… eleven. Eleven members of the troupe. She wonders if there are any more, considering how large the Gallery is.
The prince turns his attention suddenly towards Peach, and so do the two women. Soon, almost everyone begins to stop for a moment and do the same. Simultaneously, Natasha and Ophelia bow, gesturing to Peach, “My Lord, we have brought you your special guest, Princess Morrigan of the Stygian Border.” The prince sets down his glass on a nearby silver platter, and stands right up from his throne, adjusting his vest and coat. “C’est magnifique, my loyal subjects! Now the masquerade can truly begin! Come, come! The night is young, gather around everyone! Let us celebrate all of our blessings and forget our grievances!” he declared, “May we prosper in these trying times, and may we never run out of wine to drink.” The crowd laughs and cheers, some of them raising their own glasses. He turns to Peach, his eyes wandering up and down, and smirks, “My, my… Enchantee, your highness. I must say, you look… ravishing tonight. I am Prince Fortunato, at your service. Why don’t you join me, my dear, in the Red Room? Surely, we can have some… fun together, what do you say?” Greeting her, Prince Fortunato places a soft kiss on her hand, his emerald eyes admiring her beauty. Or perhaps something else. Although Peach has to be polite, she immediately had no interest in him. Too cocky, she thinks to herself, too full of himself. It reminds her too much of Bowser. Then again, Phantom was that way, too, at least in the past. But she learned that he was not licentious. He never looked anywhere else but into her eyes. He never searched for anything other than her eyes. He ever seemed like he was after a particular goal other than seeing her whenever they meet. That is the one thing Peach was sure about. Ah, but remember! This is only roleplay; nothing is real. Prince Fortunato, as well as everyone else, is only pretending. In that case, this gentleman is an excellent actor!
Prince Fortunato leads Peach back to his throne, the two women still standing to accompany him. Envy fills the air. Their expressions turn sour as they watch Peach get even more attention than them. Peach could already tell that this is no ordinary masquerade. She has been to many royal revelries throughout her life, and all of them were filled to the brim with sophistication. Every guest, staff member, and host had class – anything that was considered less than classy wasn’t allowed. This masquerade is different in terms of the usual standards of hosting such parties. It was as eccentric as its Gothic décor, consisting of tables filled with silver platters of fruits, meats, bread, and desserts, goblets of beverages, and candles. Every once and a while, a few guests would stuff themselves and each other with this feast, disregarding etiquette for sheer pleasure. Peach isn’t used to the cacophony of this kind of merrymaking. All of this was nothing but pure, unadulterated debauchery – something she was taught never to delve into. She is a princess, after all, and princesses never do those sorts of things. However, did she not accept the invitation to let herself loose? Did she not agree to join this performance – this masquerade – to experience something new for once? For once? Feeling out of place just standing idle amongst Prince Fortunato and the guests, Peach goes over to one of the tables and picks at a plate of grapes. She watches as the guests gather around Natasha and Ophelia in one huge circle, clapping to the music’s rhythm as they frolic together. The fabrics of their dresses fly with their movements as if they were colorful wings dancing in the darkness. As she plops the grapes delicately into her mouth, her eyes continue to wander over the décor. Suddenly, she stops at a grim sight. There as the centerpiece sits three skulls, two of them from a different species, ones Peach isn’t familiar with. The skull placed in the middle, however, is human. She could not tell if these skulls were real. She hopes they aren’t real. Taking a closer look, an engraving is found on its forehead: Ars longa, vita brevis.
Without warning, the Gallery doors burst open! The music stops – the crowd jumps in surprise! Prince Fortunato rises to his feet, alarmed by this sudden interruption. Peach turns around. There standing in the doorway is an aged peasant woman in old, torn rags, her hair glowing bright red like a burning inferno. Her complexion is dirtied, her makeup is smudged, her eyes red-hot with fury. She scowls as she approaches the partygoers, her hands clenched as if she is about to attack. “For shame!Have you no shame?!” the peasant chants, flailing her arms with rage, “Have you no compassion for your people?! The plague lays waste throughout the land! And yet, here you are, surrounding yourself with wealth and whores! They are suffering! They are dying! There is no hope for us! For shame! For shame! Have you no shame?!” Peach watches as everyone else steps back, avoiding her filthy presence. Twelve. Twelve members in Phantom’s theatre troupe. Prince Fortunato steps forward, confronting her, “Who dares… who dares interrupts us?! Who dares trespass Fort Fortunato and speak against the Crown?!”
“It is your undoing that dares enter your home! This, all of this, will be your downfall!” she responds back angerly, gesturing to the masquerade.
“Leave this instant, or else I’ll have your head for this!”
“I have seen it, Prince Fortunato! I have seen your fate in the deepest of dreams! Doom is upon you all!”
“Ah, it’s one of those so-called soothsayers my people love so much… how lovely. They love having their fortunes told, don’t they? Superstitions and all that. Hmmm. Well, in that case, go on. Amuse us with your… dreams and visions, fortune teller. We do love to be entertained.”
“It will come, Prince Fortunato, in retribution of your indulgences. You and your party may hide all you want; it will still find you! Mortals cannot escape from what is inevitable. In the end, it shall visit us when our time comes… and your time is nigh.”
“Qu’est-ce que tu racontes? What is this ‘it’ you’re talking about? Whatever ‘it’ is, I am sure it will not ruin this masquerade. Princess, do you hear all this? She’s simply mad!”
“Our time is nigh!”
“Tu es timbre!”
“For shame! For shame!”
“Quitter cet endroit!”
“Have you no shame?!”
The peasant stops. Her eyes shift towards Peach. A look of horror falls upon her face. “You…”, she whispers, slowly raising a pointed finger at her. Peach watches as she approaches her, still pointing, terrified. Her expression contorts as if she is studying, searching for something. “You… are to be Death’s Bride… Yes! You are Death’s Bride!” she exclaims, falling to her knees, clutching Peach’s skirt, “Oh, you poor soul! So young… innocent… all to be swept by its dark embrace! I beg of you, your highness, leave this place! Forget these fools! Forget all of this! Save yourself!” With a swift grab, Prince Fortunato pulls the peasant away by the shoulder and pushes her aside. “Unhand her this instant! You trespass my fortress, you waste our time with your superstitions, and now you insult me and my guests?” he yells, “Everyone! Let us show this insolent wretch what it means to insult those higher than her! Bring me a chair! Bring me some rope! Let’s play a game with her, shall we?” Peach could not believe it. A prince sacrificing the well-being of his people for an elaborate masquerade! And now, he and the other guests have decided to torture this poor woman! She cannot stay silent any longer – she must act! “Wait!” Peach cries, making everyone stop in unison, “Have mercy on her! Please!” Prince Fortunato scoffs in amusement, “Why, and for what? She insulted us, you heard her!”
“Yes, but none of that would have happened if you attended to your royal duties as Prince and took care of your people!”
“E-excusez-moi?”
“This poor woman is in dire need of assistance, and you have all the wealth to help her! Maybe you should consider.”
“Ha! My dear, you jest! I have no need for peasants! Why should I dabble in their affairs?”
“Because their affairs are yours as well. They have relied on you for so long, and you rely on them. Without your people, you’re done for!”
“Do you not see the extravagance of this masquerade? The bountiful feasts presented on the tables? Our costumes? The wine in our glasses? I am rich, Princess Morrigan! Wealthy beyond imagination!”
“Wealth that came from people like her! Please, my Lord, have mercy.”
“Are you mad? Ha, you must be! Just as mad as the fortune teller!”
“If I am as mad as her, then I must be! Yes, that’s it! Perhaps your foolishness is just another wild hallucination, for what respectable royalty spoils themselves to the point of gluttony and greed?”
A crowd of gasps shatter the silence. The crowd glance at Peach, then at the prince, then back at her, awaiting another response. Prince Fortunato stands silent, completely stunned by her audacity. His face becomes flushed, his teeth gritting, his emerald eyes bright with anger. His fists clench. “Oh…. I’m a fool, am I? Am I a fool?! I am not a fool! I am Prince Fortunato, the next in line! Heir to the throne! I am as respectable as royalty can be!” he furiously shouts, “I will not be insulted like this! I will not be degraded like this! I need not your judgment, or hers, or anyone else’s! I am no fool, do you hear me? I am not a fool! I am a Prince, full of riches and beauty! I am perfect! I am powerful! I am untouchable! You think I’m a fool? You call me a fool, eh? Ha ha! Well then, let me entertain you all! Come, gather around, my lovely guests! Let me show you what a true fool really is!” With a whip of his cape, Prince Fortunato rushes from the crowd and goes behind the throne. Everyone watches as he switches his coat and cape with another coat and removes his crown with another accessory. In a matter of seconds, he reappears, this time donning a shiny blue coat and a mask in the shape of a rabbit’s face. Raising his arms, he presents his new costume to the crowd, “Here! Here! I am now a fool! But Prince Fortunato? Oh no, no, no! He is no fool! You imbeciles! He is a national treasure!” Has Prince Fortunato finally lost his sanity? What could he possibly gain from this? Peach is stunned, as much as the rest of the others. However, she is not as terrified as everyone else. She sees Natasha and Ophelia cradling each other, comforting one another despite both being in distress. She sees Stefan in costume backing away, almost seeming to run away and hide somewhere safe. She sees Dolores frozen in utter fear.
Peach remembers what she had said: “My master can be terrifying when he has his moments.”
No one could help but watch as Prince Fortunato danced along the ballroom floor, singing random songs in a mocking fashion. He flails his arms, waving his hands wildly as if no one is watching him. Is this even part of the roleplay? This moment feels too spontaneous to even be scripted. Peach could not imagine Phantom having his own theatre troupe mock him, regardless of whether or not it would be intentional. Whoever is playing Prince Fortunato must truly be a fool. Prince Fortunato sings in a sardonic tone:
🎶“Look at me!
Watch me float and gloat and show off my coat!
Watch me as I sing about plumbers – oh, how I hate them!
I hate them so much, oh what a bummer!
Watch me as I make sweet, sweet love to my precious spotlight
Under the moonlight!”🎶
Although the song is less than perfect, Peach admits to herself: he has an amazing singing voice! And he sings opera, just like his master! She wonders if all of the members of the theatre troupe can sing as well. Ah, no! Enough of that! Don’t get distracted now! As he sings, Prince Fortunato runs and leaps onto a nearby table, knocking over huge plates of food, skulls, and candles on the floor. Everyone else watches as he spins and taps his feet on the table, his arms still flailing around. No one in the theatre troupe tries to stop him – they’re all too shocked and afraid to even do so. They did not want to get involved in such mockery. Peach could. However, what would happen if she did? As much as she would like to stop him, she just couldn’t. For whatever reason, whether it be out of shock, or out of fear, or out of curiosity, she did not move at all. Still, the Prince continues:
🎶“Imbecile, imbecile, imbecile!
Everyone’s an imbecile but me!
Listen to me, listen to me!
My ego is as big as it can be!
Come, my Princess, marry me please
Or else I’ll cry, cry, cry!”🎶
Then, the sudden drone of a large bell rings! It brings everyone into a hush, sending an immense chill down their spine. No one moves. The drone continues. And continues. And continues. Is this what the peasant woman was talking about? The impending doom that is to fall upon this masquerade? The fate of everyone who stands here on this very night? This inevitability that will claim those who still walk on this earth? Whatever is coming for them… has arrived to make its debut.
The Gallery doors creak open. Seeping through the entrance is a cloud of fog, billowing across the floor like a massive white sheet. It surrounds everyone, almost rising up to their knees, and soon the entire chamber is filled to the brim with gloom. Prince Fortunato finally steps down, his eyes staring in fear at the entrance, and retreats behind Peach. As fate approaches them, soft murmurs of terror arise from the crowd. One by one, each and every actor and actress trembles in anticipation. Peach awaits as well, but more out of curiosity than the shock of terror. This feeling; she remembers it all too well. She has to know what happens next. She has to know what kind of resolution this entire roleplay performance is coming to. Although the resolution is frightening, it was the satisfaction of discovery that keeps her within the Gallery. She will not leave. Fear will not take over. Only curiosity. Only awe and wonder. Only fascination.
And lo and behold, there stands the face of Death in his newest and blackest masterpiece.
He stands tall, bejeweled and shrouded in crimson, emerging from behind the murky darkness. The sheer size of him is intimidating enough, but the opulence in which he had adorned himself gives him an almost divine presence in the masquerade. Out of all the costumes Peach has seen, this one is more magnificent – more vibrant and elaborate – than the rest. Blood red veils cascade down from his large cavalier hat and alongside his cape. His vest a skeletal ribcage, patterns of bones scatter his scarlet greatcoat, and in his paws is a colossal gold cane. Hidden underneath the shadow of his hat is a golden mask, formed into the shape of a skull. Everyone slowly backs away as this masked red-clad stranger approaches them. But not Peach. Instead, she stays, completely in awe. She has become too enamored by his Gothic glamour to even be remotely scared. Finally. After so many days, they finally meet once again. She could see his sapphire eyes peering through and meeting hers with a sign of notice. He stops for a moment. That look… that tender gaze! Although they had only met for a little while before this moment, Peach confesses to herself: she could never have enough of those bright eyes. Those gleaming sapphire eyes. Even through that skull mask of his, she could stare into them all night long.
Alluring… Beguiling… Captivating… Enchanting…
Phantom shifts his attention to Prince Fortunato, his eyes wide with fury. The partygoers cower as he floats over to the foolish prince, towering over him as he looks down. Prince Fortunato scrambles, quickly taking off his blue coat and rabbit mask, full of sweat, almost hyperventilating. His face is revealed with a terrified expression. His eyes look up at Phantom, awaiting whatever fate – whatever punishment – shall bestow upon him. Phantom twists his cane and slowly he pulls it apart, revealing it to be a scabbard with a long, sharp sword inside it. Peach gasps as he unsheathes his weapon, raises it up in the air, and points it down at a quivering Prince Fortunato. “Please, monsieur!” Prince Fortunato gasps and swallows, “Spare me! It was only a mere jest! I was only having some fun entertaining my guests! I-I am the host, after all! Monsieur, please… Have mercy…!” Everyone watches in horror as he pleads for forgiveness. Phantom takes in a deep breathe; music begins to play again. It is in minor key, deep and dramatic – the orchestral equivalent to an imposing force. Peach holds her breath. Finally. With a smooth, baritone voice, Phantom sings his haunting solo:
🎶“Fortunato!
Surrender to me,
Look upon the face of Death!
It is meant to be,
Now savor your last breath!
Fortunato!
Your time has come at last,
Take your final drink of wine!
For your sins in the past,
Oh Prince, your soul will be mine!”🎶
“No!” the prince cries out, “You cannot take me! I will not let you! My guests need me! My people need me!” What hypocrisy! What foolishness! Peach watches intently. What is going to happen next? Will this masked presence spare Prince Fortunato? Will Prince Fortunato’s mockery be forgiven? She anticipates what comes next, whatever that may be. But although she tries to expect the unexpected, there is one thing she is certain about: the masquerade was doomed from the very beginning. Phantom lowers his sword, just by an inch, almost as if in contemplation. A few moments of silence passes. Everyone watches him in anticipation. Peach. Prince Fortunato. Dolores, Stefan, Natasha and Ophelia. Everyone. Anticipating. Anticipating. Anticipating.
Phantom smirks, letting out a soft chuckle. His sword lowers even more, and finally inserts it back into the scabbard. A sigh of relief fills the Gallery…
Then sudden horror! It happened so swiftly. So much so that if one were to blink at that moment, they would miss it completely. A scream pierces the silence! It was Prince Fortunato, now on the floor collapsed to his knees! He screams in agony as his covers his face! Phantom had made a sharp wave of his hand, almost as if he were to slap him across the face. But no! It was much, much worse. A terrible fate had fell upon the prince.
Blood…!
Oozing from his face is a gush of crimson blood! His eye sockets, his nostrils, his mouth, his pores – all drenched in blood! Horrid blemishes begin appearing on his flesh, leaving opened, pus-filled wounds as they pop one by one! Tears and yellow fluids mix with the blood, staining the floor with a pool of secretions! And the screams! Oh, the screams! Prince Fortunato tries to hide his face once more, only to find that it hurts too much! His hands pull away from his face – and, oh God! His flesh, his flesh – it is rotting away! What was once the pristine beauty of a spoiled, gluttonous prince is now the face of nightmares. He coughs and chokes; he cannot scream anymore – blood has filled his throat! He falls onto the floor, panicking, suffering! To think that this is what his people had to endure while no one was there to save their lives. With eyes stained with tears and blood, he rushes over to his guests and reaches for help, but in vain, for who could ever touch a diseased man? With a final cry of fear, Prince Fortunato falls. There lays on the floor is a twitching corpse, the face mutilated by the worst of illnesses…
This display of gore puts the guests into a state of frenzied panic! More screams and sobs fill the Gallery, as well as the sound of footsteps running and chairs and tables knocked over. If they don’t do something, Phantom will come after them next! Anything to get away from this face of Death. Chaos ensues! All except for Peach. Peach stands still amongst the disorder of the partygoers. Her widened eyes are fixated on Phantom. Is it shock? Is it fear? Is it something else entirely? Of course, anybody would be frightened by the sheer grotesqueness of the prince’s death and the possibility of meeting the same fate. But strangely, it seems to not bother Peach at all, almost as if she isn’t aware of the situation. Perhaps she is still mesmerized by Phantom’s extravagant appearance? Perhaps she is somehow desensitized? Whatever is going on, Peach still remains, as well as the peasant woman. The two ladies stare as Phantom slowly turns to watch over the terrified crowd. He observes the scene quietly. All in unison, the panicked guests rush toward the Gallery doors. With a wave of his hand, he blocks the entrance, slamming it tightly shut. Ophelia throws herself on the doors, slamming her fists frantically, “Open the doors! Open the doors! Oh please, open the doors!” Everyone begins to do the same. But alas, their attempts of escape are futile, for their master – the Red Death – had already claimed their souls. Once again, Phantom sings:
🎶“Crowned with privilege and villainous
Bathe in the blood of your wickedness
Tonight, retribution is at hand
For this masquerade shall be damned
Mask yourselves to hide your shame
But in the end, they know your name
Into the earth, your corpses will sink
May your blood be the wine they drink…”🎶
And one by one, each guest fell, forming a massive pile of bloodied bodies in front of the entrance. Peach takes in what had just happened. She had never seen something so macabre before. Roleplay, she thinks to herself, this is all just roleplay. This is all just pretend. No one is hurt. They are all just acting. This is all just roleplay. But by the stars, it looks so… real! There is blood everywhere. Not just the red pool on the floor, but also smeared handprints on the doors too. How did Phantom do all of this? This must have taken so much effort and hard work to even pull off such a remarkably gory scene! Peach couldn’t help but wonder what exactly went through Phantom’s mind when making this performance. This was something she never expected, let alone how absolutely graphic it was going to be. But regardless, the entirety of the roleplay screamed Phantom. It was bold. Dramatic. A complete subversion from a usual masterpiece. There was grandeur, there was beauty, there was mystery, there was tension. Then finally the payoff – an act of karma against the avaricious Prince Fortunato and his hedonistic friends. Now only she and the peasant woman are left. Peach cannot imagine what this powerful reaper is going to do next. Ah, no – she suddenly remembers!
Death’s Bride. She is to be Death’s Bride…
Her thoughts are interrupted by another cry, this time from the peasant woman. She turns to find Phantom approaching her, his hand lifting up to claim another soul. But why must the good die? Death is inevitable, it is true. Life is short. Peach knew this. But what did this poor woman do to deserve such a fate? Why do bad things happen to good people? Perhaps it is meant to be, just like what Phantom said. Roleplay. It is all just roleplay. Should she stand by and let things take its course? Or maybe… what could she do? Roleplay…. Ah, of course! Peach dashes over and stands in between them. “Wait!” she says, defending the peasant woman, “Have mercy on her!” Phantom pauses, taken by surprise for a moment, but then resumes in character. “Young or old, poor or rich… Death waits for no one. Her time has come.” Phantom calmly responds, his voice low. “Can you at least give her enough time to live another day? Can you see she has suffered enough? Please, I beg of you.” Peach pleads.
“You stand in front of the face of Death… and yet you are not frightened. Are you… not afraid of me?”
“I do not fear what is inevitable. I just want to give her another chance.”
“Such compassion… and all of this for a stranger. However, as painful as it may be, you cannot persuade me to spare her.”
“If that is not enough, then I will offer a gift to you.”
“And what is this gift you speak of?”
“For this woman’s life, I offer you myself. You can have my soul. You can have everything, all of me, and I will not refuse you.”
Phantom is rendered speechless, despite staying in character. Do his ears deceive him? No, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t possibly be! Deep down inside, he could not believe what Peach had just said. He watches as Peach ushers the peasant woman to flee the masquerade, and so she does, retreating to a small secret entrance hidden by the large curtains. Silence. As much as he tries, Phantom seems to be unable to speak. Now only he and the princess are alone. Together. Just like that one night. “I believe that is enough to persuade you?” Peach says with a soft smile. That smile. Oh, that sweet smile! He could stare at it forever! “I can be yours, and yours only. I will not leave. I will be not be frightened.” she continues, “It must be lonely, going around the world and reaping souls for those who’s time has passed. You don’t have to be lonely. You can have a companion! Someone who will join you by you side. Don’t you want that?” Companionship. Is Peach talking to Death or to Phantom himself? The lines between roleplay and real life begin to blur before his very eyes. He could not differentiate which is just acting or an actual confession. She must be playing a trick – she must be! This could not possibly be real! This is just too good to be true! Taking in a deep breath, staring deep into Peach’s pretty eyes, Phantom sings one last solo:
🎶“Oh, Sweet Maiden!
Surrender to me,
Look upon your paramour!
It is meant to be,
Together forevermore!
Oh, Sweet Maiden!
Your time has come at last
Take your final drink of wine
For this spell I shall cast
My Bride, your heart will be mine!”🎶
With a wave of his hand, two shiny, black feathered wings sprout from Peach’s back! Peach glances over in surprise, admiring her new wings. They sparkled under the light of the chandelier with iridescent glitter. Natasha must have added these in while making her costume. Once again, she continues to be impressed be Natasha’s work. Then her eyes glance over towards the Gallery entrance. Peach stops. Something has changed. Her eyes squints as she tries to make out what she is seeing. Confusion floods her mind until realization hits her.
The bodies… are those…. Mannequins?
Phantom places his paw on her cheek, delicately turning her face towards him. The softness of his caress fills her senses, and she is greeted by his tender gaze. What a tender gaze he has! As her eyes are locked in his gaze, Peach feels herself being gently embraced around her waist and leaning back into a dip. Her heart begins to race. Beat after beat it quickens its pace, her breathing becomes more and more shaky. It must be adrenaline – all of this is so new to her. Peach finds herself reaching out towards Phantom and, ever so gently, she takes off his skull mask, revealing his face. At long last, she finally sees him. Oh, how she missed him! “Did you enjoy the show, your highness?” Phantom grins, “I must admit, there were some things that weren’t… intended to happen, but as long a—” He is stopped, as Peach catches him off guard. Locked in a tight hug around his neck, he feels his lips being locked with hers. It was passionate yet gentle and warm. Peach, the princess he has adored for so many years, is giving him a kiss. A kiss! Is this a dream? Is this actually happening? So many thoughts went through Phantom’s mind. He could not process all of them at once; his head could possibly burst from excitement! His eyes flutter and close, letting himself melt into Peach’s embrace. If they could pull each closer than they already are, they could. But no matter how much closer they can be, it just wasn’t enough. They wanted each other. They craved each other. The unbridled desire for connection and companionship broke loose, and immediately they find themselves losing all control of their yearning. Their lips break apart, their hot breaths mingling with each other. They open their eyes; Peach grins and so does Phantom. They kiss again, neither of them wanting to stop. “Ah…!” Phantom gasps in between her soft lips, “Mon ange de la mort…!”
Overwhelmed, Peach swoons as Phantom dips her even further and surrenders herself to his kiss of death.
---
She woke up the next morning. The first thought that would have come to her mind was how she even managed to return to her castle without any notice. But no, the very first thought that came to her mind was what happened last night. She laid in her bed and, as stares up at the ceiling, touched her lips softly with her fingertips. Then up her rosy cheek, then down to her neck, and across her bare shoulders. She could still feel his touch. She sighs deeply – what a performance that was! Peach stretched her whole body and curled up, sinking back into sleep. A love stricken grin appeared on her face as she whispered to herself, “Until we meet again.”
#my writing#OTP#fanfiction#shipping fanfic#Phantom x Peach#phantom of the bwahpera#OCs#princess peach#mario rabbids#mario rabbids kingdom battle#tom phan
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I'm sorry this took forever! I DO love being tagged please don't give up on me @pumpkinspice-prouvaire
how many works do you have on AO3?
13 :)
what’s your total AO3 word count?
122,024 (go me!)
how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Two! I have 12 for Les mis and one for the Carry on series
what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Without Complexities or Pride -my newest fic! And my only fic in the carry on fandom so far. I think the popularity is mostly because the final book came out two weeks before I posted it, so the fans were hungry for more. I do love it and I think I did a decent job though.
Keyboard Revolutionaries- for the ExR big bang. This was such a fun collaboration with yayee (my beloved) and the format was more ambitious than my usual stuff. I have passive-aggressive baking recipes, blog posts, and Yayee's gorgeous art, which I think contributed to the fic's popularity too.
Call off the Search for Your Soul -my one and only multi-chaptered fic! It's a hallmark movie AU and I adore it. It the only fic I posted without finishing the story first and I love the comments and interactions I got, but it was so STRESSFUL. It made me realize I'd rather just finish the whole thing and post it all in one go and call it a day. My nerve can't take the roller coaster of emotions that comes with a work in progress. I don't really like reading wips either, so I made up my mind to never do a posting schedule again. It's all or nothing from me babes.
Marriage of (Con)venience- Regency romance au! My very first fic on ao3 ever. It has a special place in my heart.
Inexprimable Douceur- FLUFFY REINCARNATION SMUT! I had a blast with this one. It has everything I love. Reincarnation, baking, smut, romance, the italicized oh.
do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I respond to all my comments! My works aren't popular enough for the comments to become overwhelming, so each comment makes me very happy and interacting with people who enjoyed my work is such a lovely bonus I didn't expect when I started writing :)
what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Lol there is none. I am all for happily ever after or at least right now. I deal in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
have you ever received hate on a fic?
Not quite hate! But someone bookmarked one of my fics once and described it with quite a mean comment. I reread the fic and I standby it, so I'm over it, but I'd rather not repeat the experience. If anyone feels the urge to add a mean description on their bookmark, I implore you to make it private.
do you write smut? if so what kind?
I do! Happy loving smut mostly.
have you ever had a fic stolen?
Lol I write for two book fandoms. Nothing I do would ever be famous enough to be stolen. (I'm happy about it! I can't handle large fandoms I think I'd pass out from anxiety.)
have you ever had a fic translated?
One can always hope!
have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not quite co-writing, but I wrote a smutty sequel for @cx-shhhh's super fun stripper fic as a gift.
what’s your all time favorite ship?
Nooooo don't make me choose between Snowbaz and ExR. I love them too much.
what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
One original short story with a pretty cool concept that includes folklore and an environmental message. I was excited to start, but for some reason, it didn't really speak to me after a while. I might come back to it one day though.
what are your writing strengths?
Banter? I like the push-pull dynamic and I was told my banter scenes are fun. At least they are fun for me??
what are your writing weaknesses?
Action scenes. I don't really like action movies, but some scenes require more immediate movements and a sense of dread/adrenaline rush, which I think I am tragically awful at creating.
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Depends on the context? Is the speaker bilingual? Are they saying c'est la vie as an expression? Other than that I don't really see the point.
what was the first fandom you wrote for?
Les mis on ao3, but sailor moon if you count twelve-year-old me and my school notebooks.
what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
I still have a soft spot for Campaign Problems, but my favorite now is Without Complexities or Pride just because it's one of those stories that almost wrote itself. It was really satisfying to find ways to tie loose ends and progress the story in a surprising way. For me, it was one of those rare pleasures where things I made turn out better than what was in my head.
Extremely low-pressure tagging @cx-shhhh, @peoplearescary ,@captain-aralias, @shitpostingfromthebarricade and anyone that wants to play. (Do ignore me if you don't tho. I won't be offended!)
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