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Kerri Colby Is Living For The Fantasy + "Snatch Game" Recap (Issue #10)

The RuPaul's Drag Race Official Newsletter

In this week’s Drag Race newsletter, we recap an awkward “Snatch Game,” count down the funniest moments from the challenge, and share an exclusive interview with Kerri Colby. Don’t forget to subscribe so you can stay tuned for all of the latest Drag Race updates!

A signature of Drag Race, Snatch Game is a challenge that’s both revered and feared by the queens. It’s a demanding test of intuitive character work and quick-witted improv skills, but it’s also seen as something of a “make or break” moment of the season, regularly arriving when about half the cast remains and exhaustion starts to set in. We often hear just how difficult Snatch Game is, but Season 14 might be one of the first times we actually see that as this talented group hits a wall as soon as the challenge starts. My name’s Cameron Scheetz, and it’s time to re-open Michelle Visage’s investigation…

The Mini

The mood was ecstatic after Jorgeous and Jasmine’s spirited Lip Sync, their double shantay seen as another sign that this cast is operating at a high level. Is there any challenge they can’t conquer? Well, stay tuned. Daya and Angeria both admitted to a twinge of disappointment that another week’s gone by and they still have just as many competitors, while DeJa was at a loss, having narrowly missed yet another win and wondering what she can possibly do to stand out.

The next day, Jasmine was interrupted by a clue-laden video message from RuPaul, leaving the girls curious about what awaits them. But first: A Mini Challenge! With nothing but colorful bubble wrap and a whole lot of tape, the queens needed to create “wearable pop art,” which lead to “hellish ASMR” as they snap-crackle-popped their outfits together in short time. Even if tape couldn’t hold everything up, it was fun to see everyone’s personal styles shine through, and Bosco—becoming quite the Mini Challenge maestro—snagged the win for a look that screamed Bosco (by which I mean, her butt cheeks were on full display).

The Set-Up

And then Ru announced what they’ve all been eagerly/nervously anticipating: It’s time for Snatch Game! Jasmine put it bluntly: “This is the challenge of Drag Race. It is the challenge that shows who’s going to be in the top of the season, and who’s not really going to make it too far.” In other words, the pressure is on.

After some excited tittering among the girls, Ru returned to the Werk Room for Walk Throughs, a.k.a. Snatch Game pep talks. As per usual, MamaRu took the opportunity to help the queens really hone in on their characters and find some sort of fresh angle. I thought the assertion that Lady Camden infuse her William Shakespeare with a little bit of Absolutely Fabulous’ Joanna Lumley (Lady’s backup character) was particularly interesting, as was the advice for Daya to channel her love of Ozzy Osbourne into her performance, the same way she does for Crystal Methyd. If there was any cause for concern, it was with Jorgeous, who was feeling anxious about yet another comedic acting challenge. She certainly wasn’t ready to drop her Aubrey Plaza impression on the spot, but she was more confident in her Ilana Glazer, and Ru reminded the queen to view herself from the inside—not the outside—so that she could be more present and in the moment. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it seemed like these queens were ready to smash the Snatch Game!

The Best Snatch Game Moments

First things first: This edition of Snatch Game was given a welcome double-dose of glam thanks to contestants Raven and Dove Cameron (if the bird name pun didn’t land for you until the bird photos showed up on screen, this is a safe space—that one flew over my head, too. Pun intended). They both had sharp answers to every question and nailed the back-and-forth banter with Ru, an essential component of the challenge. As DeJa would later note, Raven—a return contestant from both Season 13 and All Stars 2—might have been the funniest part of the whole thing.

When it came time to meet the panel, things got off to a fine enough start. We met Lady Camden’s randy Shakespeare, Jasmine’s clueless Betsy DeVos (a role once played by Scarlet Envy in Season 11’s “Trump: The Rusical”), Angeria’s extra kooky Tammie Brown, Jorgeous’ studied Ilana Glazer, Willow’s hippy-dippy Drew Barrymore (who forgot she worked with Ru on The World’s Best talent show), DeJa’s boisterous Lil Jon, Bosco’s husky-voiced Droop-touting Gwyneth Paltrow, and Daya’s spirited Ozzy Osbourne. But after the introductions, the rest of Snatch Game played out like one long “it’s chocolate” sad trombone sound. About halfway through, the girls felt it too, and it was clear the energy in the room was just off. That being said, I wanted to take a moment to count down my (completely subjective) list of Snatch Game’s five funniest moments:

5. Jasmine’s Accent Work: Like her performance in “The Daytona Wind,” Jasmine delivered a hilariously inconsistent accent. She may not have had any jokes, but her Midwestern vocal fry still got some giggles out of me.

4. Angeria’s “Nutbush”: I will admit I don’t even know what was going on here, but Angeria channeling Tammie channeling Tina Turner was just the right amount of absurd for my tastes.

3. Camden’s Toothy Grins: Lady Camden made the most of her screen time with a constantly wobbling head and a curling upper-lip, showcasing some great characterization even if her jokes didn’t always land.

2. Everything DeJa Did: DeJa’s Lil Jon was truly the life of the party, certainly looking the part and scoring laughs with every “YEAH!” and “OKAY!” But most importantly, it was clear DeJa had really thought this one through, with comedic answers that had a real effortlessness to them. She was having a ball, and I had a ball watching her.

1. Jorgeous’ Confusion: But my biggest laugh of the whole challenge wasn’t even part of the Snatch Game—it was during a confessional when Jorgeous wondered allowed, “Miss Lady Camden, she is… who—Beethoven, right?” Never change, Jorgeous.

The Looks

On the runway, the divas were absolutely divine in Holy Couture, which proved to be a category up for some creative interpretation. First out was DeJa, looking to the Skyes as Joan Of Arc by-way-of Zendaya at the 2018 Met Gala. Jasmine’s inspiration was astrological with a split-tone gown that gave way to a sparkling galaxy dress—two looks in one like a true Gemini. Angeria nailed every detail of her Church Lady get-up, while Bosco couldn’t kick the burlesque habit in her devilish nod to nuns (that hooved footwear is everything). Willow’s wild Bleeding Tooth Fungus piece was a true standout, a whimsical tribute to her spiritual relationship with psychedelics. Jorgeous worshipped a different kind of drug, serving Holy Smokes in her most conceptual runway yet. Lady Camden sang the praises of The Spice Girls with a party-ready look that was a clever melange of all five spices, and Daya took an unplanned tumble in her Bride-of-Judas gown but saved it with some badass bravado.

The Critiques

With all eight girls on stage, Michelle kicked things off by saying, “I’m just kind of speechless with this Snatch Game. I don’t know where everybody went.” Thus began Detective Visage’s investigation into the mystery of “Who Killed Snatch Game?” DeJa was removed from the suspect list rather quickly, with the judges noting that she was the one that was successfully funny in the challenge. As the only queen to get roundly positive critiques, it was clear DeJa Skye was this week’s top queen, finally scoring her much deserved point on the leader board.

As for everyone else, well, they seemed pretty aware that any of them could be on the chopping block. Despite that, the critiques weren’t all doom and gloom—there was a surprising amount of levity (Carson’s joke that Jasmine took Betsy DeVos’ job more seriously than Betsy got a huge laugh), and Dove Cameron proved herself to be an incredible addition to the Judge’s Panel with insightful observations and fantastic constructive feedback. After deliberations, the queens were brought back for a shocker: All seven of them were up for elimination and would need to Lip Sync For Their Lives… but not now. Ominously, Ru invited them all to a Lip Sync LaLaPaRuZa Smackdown to determine who would sashay away. To be continued!

Burning Questions

Copy-Snatch

After Gwyneth and Ozzy matched with two Snatch Game answers in a row, Bosco wondered if Daya was looking over her shoulder, which felt like a tease of some drama to come, but the thread is just left dangling. Honestly, if Daya was copying answers as an in-character bit, then props to her for finding a funny way into the challenge, though that was certainly not clear in the episode. I don’t see Bosco as one to hold grudges, but could this thread get picked up in the coming week? Or will the impending LaLaPaRuZa mean it gets brushed aside?

Next Week: Let’s Get Ready To Rumble

We’ve seen a LaLaPaRuZa before (when All Stars 4 gave its eliminated queens a chance to Lip Sync their way back into the competition), but that doesn’t mean we know what format to expect for this “Extra Special Episode.” What’s in store for us??? There’s a chance all seven queens could be asked to lip sync at once—with DeJa watching from the sidelines—although that certainly wouldn’t fill up an entire episode, so I’m anticipating a tournament-style event with random pairs of queens going head to head until we’re left with the bottom two. As the teaser shows, assassins Jasmine and Jorgeous feel pretty confident, but it’s worth noting that we’ve yet to see three of these queens (Angie, Bosco, Willow) compete in a traditional lip sync. Anything can happen, and I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about the possibilities.

The Other Half Of The Story

You know the drill: If you’re not watching Untucked, well, you’re missing out, babe! Let’s shout out a few of the most notable moments form this week’s episode.

Backstage, the girls were rattled, but they still took the time to toast DeJa on her win, whose big moment was somewhat undercut but the gag at the end of the episode. Still, it was nice to see the hard-working queen get her shine—even if Jasmine did try to jump in to talk about herself.

Not knowing what was to come, Jorgeous shared her exhaustion, as she was certain she was in the bottom two for the week. Just in the nick of time, a video message came through and it was from the queen’s entire family (including her (hot) brother), who were so lovely and supportive, clearly proud of their little star. The whole thing had Jorgeous in tears, but it was a much needed confidence booster, also reminding her that she has the enthusiastic support for her Season 14 sisterhood.

Willow recalled her joke from a few episodes back: “Just you watch, there’s going to be a challenge we all bomb”—very ironic in retrospect. Sometimes it sucks to be right! Do all of those psychedelic mushrooms give Willow a glimpse into the future?

I’m all in on Dove Cameron after this week. The actor/singer/former Disney Channel star was a blast on Snatch Game, a thoughtful guest judge, and a really warm presence among the girls in Untucked, sharing a wisdom beyond her years. She knew she didn’t see these queens at their best, so she reassured them that good things can come from failure (and that delusion is helpful… sometimes). What do Dove stans call themselves? I want to be part of the flock!

The Serve-ey w/ Kerri Colby

Each week, we’ll get to learn more about one of the queens of season 14 when they take our brief questionnaire, a.k.a. The Serve-ey. They’ll all get the same six questions, and then we’ll throw in one final “wildcard” question just for fun. This week: It’s everyone’s favorite auntie, Kerri Colby!

1. In keeping with the season promo’s board game theme: What was your favorite game growing up and why?

Well, I have like 3000 answers for you. I’m going to sound so weird here, but I’ve always been obsessed with games that are basically like simulations, which is kind of how I taught myself how to be the person that I wanted. This is probably going to get so deep, I apologize. But, for me, I was raised so constricted, that I didn’t have access to really explore and find the type of person that I wanted to be. So I literally would use games like The Game Of Life. I loved that game, because it kind of mapped out—in my little weird head—how I wanted things to go. Because you could either go to college or not go to college, then you’d get a better spin at life, and then if you get the $100,000 car, you can keep winning and you can retire at Millionaire Estates or Countryside Acres. So I would literally play Life all the time because I wanted to understand how life works.

And then, in a digital sense, I kind of graduated from that board-game mindset over towards things like—oh my god, I would spend hours playing Zoo Tycoon. I was obsessed because I was like, “I want to build the world!” And from my mom, I would get “screened” every time I would play games because I’d be gone for hours, so then my mom would do an inventory check of me to make sure I wasn’t misbehaving or watching porn or whatever the fuck. She’d be like, “What are you doing? What have you done on this computer? Let me see; pull up everything!” And when she would see the zoos that I would make, she sometimes would just cry because I would literally build these intricate zoos. I had all the expansion packs, so I would work on, like, restoring the endangered species and trying to find new ways make the park the best with a 100% satisfactory rating. These were the things I was obsessed with from, like, 8 to 10 years old.

And then I think I graduated from that into The Sims, and I lost my shit playing The Sims. But honestly, I tell people this: I turned the way that I played The Sims literally into the blueprint of how I live my life as Kerri. Because Kerri literally is a Sim character from the gods that I created, because I always was so obsessed with this fantasy.

Right! These games actually provide a space to explore options for yourself, even if you don’t realize it at the time.

Oh my god, yeah. And, for me, it was a projection thing because I was raised, as I’ve said, so conservative, and I felt so trapped. And I wasn’t really a rebellious person, I wasn’t like, “Fuck the system! Break everything!” I was more like, “Okay, well, I’m really unhappy. So I’m going to almost astral project through a game and try to see if I can find a life that would make me happy.” And I always knew, like, “Okay, I could actually work really hard and make this a reality.” The video game world, for the earlier parts of my life, was huge because it was my outlet, my escape.

2. How would you say the city you’re from helped define your drag?

Pretty much everything about my aesthetic—if you do your research—it comes straight out of Texas’s armpit, or asshole. I literally took that everyday bimbo, housewife, trophy wife-type vibe because—let me tell you something about Dallas, Texas: They are covered in them. You know, I couldn’t play with Barbies, but who needs those when you’re walking around malls in Texas. [Laughs.] I was obsessed with the big, blonde bombshell, and back in the time when I was being raised, the girls were wearing, you know, six-and-a-half-inch stilettos, they had all their little kids in matching outfits, getting into their all-black Chevy Suburban with black rims on the lift kit, okurrr.

So, again, it was kind of a projection thing. I would be out and about in Texas, and I would see someone who was giving what I was obsessed with, and I was like, “Can I ever like be that? I would love to be that!” I’m definitely inspired by trophy wives around the world. I love a good pageant mug, I love a good puss, just glamour-puss is forever my favorite go-to. Because you can play with glamour-puss; you can make glamour-puss a superhero, a supervillain, a supermodel, a super-slut—it’s always super though. And so I’ve always been obsessed with that aesthetic when it comes to Texas for sure.

3. With this season’s candy bar twist, I’m curious: If you were a piece of candy, what kind would you be?

Ugh, people are going to say I’m so ugly if I use this one. I mean, personally, I’m obsessed with Heath Bars, because I love anything that is like chocolate that’s wrapped around something else, that is embedded in something—that you have to, like, either suck on for a while and get every flavor, or you can just chew through it really quickly and you get hit with just a freaking umami of like, “Whoa, there’s salty, sweet, there’s nuts, there’s caramel, there’s toffee, and there’s chocolate.”

To be very honest with you—and this is not me being corny—I actually am obsessed with RuPaul’s chocolate bar. Because, when I first ate it, I was like, “What the actual fuck is in my mouth right now?” [Laughs.] Because I was like, “I taste cinnamon. I taste a sugar, I taste a little bit of caramel, I taste peanut butter.” I was like, “Wait, okay, am I crazy? Or am I tasting all these things?” And then I read the back and I was like, “Oh Miss Thing says she’s going to just mix every flavor and put it in chocolate.” I live. [Laughs.]

4. What can you tell us about your “confessional” interview look? How did you decide what to wear? What do you think it says about your style out of drag?

It’s funny because I think, to me, the confessional look was the one that I personally was the most invested in. It just meant the most to me because I’ve watched the show for years—my first introduction to Drag Race, ever, was season five. And I remember: The runway was where you got to see the queen, the Werk Room was where you got to meet the queen, and the confessional was where you got to know the queen. And, throughout my life, people have always thought so many things about me—people just have always assumed so much. I don’t I really overshare, so I usually am someone that I kind presents myself with what you see, and then you kind of think what you want about me. And then, if it’s true, I’ll tell you, and if it’s not, we’ll go with it and keep it a fantasy.

So, the confessional look, for me, was so personal because I’m far from the first trans woman to be on the show, but this was a unique opportunity where I was able to walk into the franchise being completely me. And I asked them, "Is it okay if I kind of embody a more ultra-femme spirit for my confessionals?” It wasn’t even about the drama of like, “Can you do that on Drag Race?” It’s more of a consideration thing because, you’ve got to remember, a lot of these girls put a little powder over their face, they tap their forehead with a tissue paper, and they put on a t-shirt, and then they go. So it’s a lot quicker. Versus me, being in glam, you have to make sure that you set your time aside. If we had interviews in the morning, you had to wake up extra early because you had to put on a little mug, then get my hair pressed and all this stuff. So I knew I was taking on a lot.

And this is just to any future trans girls if they want to be on the show: If you want to be glam in your interviews, prepare yourself because it’s a lot of extra work. But, for me, it was so rewarding because I want to be able to watch this back and see the person that I always hoped to see growing up watching Drag Race. So, being able to embody that—whether it’s extra, silly, funny, auntie, whatever it is—it just made me feel so much more at home, personally, because now I see someone on my screen that I identified with, and I wasn’t afraid to be extra and be that bad bitch.

5. What’s a fun fact you can share about one of your season 14 sisters that might surprise the fans?

Ooh, I have like a couple. Yes, Angeria really is shaped like the letter “P” in drag. Two, Jasmine does actually talk that much, that’s why we call her "Mouth Almighty.” Three, Daya Betty is that tall—that bitch is gigantic, especially in some of them heels. Four, Jorgeous really is that tiny; she is so small. [Laughs.] And then five is that, yes, Bosco is actually is that observant. She was so observant the whole season that I was like, “Low-key, this girl hates me.” And then especially afterwards, once the anxiety of the show was over, and with her owning her truth and coming out as Trans, I realized it wasn’t even about a negative type of observing. It was more like—with me and her the whole season—she was processing a reality that was literally just screaming and squawking and dipping and acting a fool right in front of her. And I feel like, once we left the show, it was just so amazing to see her come into herself and own her truth. I was just with her in Seattle, and we had the best time. I was giving me very, “Alexa, play Katy Perry ‘I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It.’” [Laughs.]

6. Here’s a chance to shout out another drag performer, designer, hair & makeup artist, etc… who really helped inspire you or prepare you for your journey on Drag Race.

There’s a couple people here. My number one “thank you” forever will go to my two aunties, Kylie Sonique Love and Brooke Lynn Hytes. They got me the most prepared I ever could have been to give the best of what I could have given. Brooke Lynn is, hands down, a professional and an amazing, absolute lunatic, and I love her. She’s an OCD queen as well, so she was very much telling me tips and tricks about where your headspace should be when you’re on the floor, because that headspace is going to be what keeps you and what pushes you through.

And Kylie broke down where my heart-space should be. Because she had the best insight, I think, for any of the girls who do go into this experience as a Trans woman, because she’s done the original, she found her truth, and then she came back on All Stars. And it’s not easy, but she made it look so beautiful, so graceful, and she soared through her competition and won. And so she was telling me all these little things like, when you wake up in the morning, try to do a little yoga. You’re going to be by yourself for a lot of time, so talk to yourself, but don’t be crazy about it. Literally walk yourself through each new day in the Werk Room. What can I do right now to get me in the best headspace, to be the most successful? When you’re waking up in the morning, actually take time to make your bed, lay your toothbrush out, have your favorite soap ready.

Love the experience and the experience will end up loving you back. I remember being a little stressed or freaked out so many times, you know, and it’s natural! But replaying Kylie’s kind, kind words in my head just made me feel like, “Okay, Kerri, you got this. You can wake up today—yes, you’re up super early, but you’re gonna slay it. And you’re going to enjoy this and you’re going to have fun.”

7. Wildcard: Over the course of the season, we’ve really seen you blossom into this mother figure, this support system, not only to your Trans sisters in the cast, but also to the fans online, on Twitter—

I knew you were going to bring Twitter into this because they are acting a fool right now. [Laughs.]

Well it’s because we miss seeing you on the show! We need to get our Kerri fix somewhere.

Aw, I love that so much. It makes me like pinch myself a lot because I can’t believe people actually care about my bullshit.

Let’s put a pin in the fans just for a second, because I wanted to ask: Who are some of the women—throughout your life—that have really helped lift you up and been your support system?

Oh my goodness. There are many from different stages and times, But I would say the most consistent one—when I when I look back through the journey of my of my life, there is one person who stands out to me as always being an inspiration, a goddess, a blueprint, and a mother to me, and that would be Sasha Colby. It’s funny because I guess it kind of runs in the genes, because we’re both Leos, so it’s really interesting to see how parallel a lot of our lives are. It’s insane. She is one of those people who has such an impact on people without even knowing it, without even realizing it. And, from before I met her, she inspired. She enthralled me with inspiration.

You know how normally people say, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Because, if you do, it might break your fantasy, it might shatter your world. Well, I would say with her it’s the opposite. Meeting her, she’s even more than you would have envisioned her to be. If she meets someone and she’s out and about, she’s actually going to treat you like a best friend—she’s not gonna treat you like a like a fan. If you’re in a show with her, she will actually get you in the right headspace and gets you together to make sure that you go out and you give your best, no matter what it is. It could be a show at a bar at one o'clock in the morning, or it could be a gigantic competition and pageant where she’s competing against you—she will still pour her soul out to make sure that you’re in your best headspace. Because that’s all that we can be. That’s all we can give.

My other little mother—I like to call her—out there is Mariah Carey. And she has a famous saying that she’s going to do the best she can with what she’s got. When you actually take it back home with you, it’s not saying, “I’m going to do the best always,” but “with whatever I’ve got—if I’ve got one penny, I’m going to do the best I can with it.” And both those ladies—one says it and sings it out, which we see on TV, but the other one, I have had the pleasure to actually live through that it with them, being in their truth. So it’s definitely a full circle moment.

And speaking of full circle moments, you really have become this source of inspiration for so many people Have you been surprised by the reaction since the season started airing?

Absolutely. I never thought that being called “Tranos” would be such a compliment. [Laughs.] It’s funny because some people, when they see me act a fool like that, they’re like, “Oh, there she goes, girl, it’s all going to her head.” And what’s funny is, I think that we always take things at face value, but it’s about the intention. And what is so interesting about the love that I get like—yes, it’s a little eccentric, it’s a little crazy, but I think that the kids are stir-crazy. I think they wanted a Trans Barbie doll to play with for years. And now that they have it, they kind of just have—it’s almost like someone saying, “I want a pony for Christmas,” and then someone’s like, “Well, I bought you a whole horse farm!” You know? The kids kind of lost their mind a little bit, but it’s because they are so just overwhelmed by it, by that moment.

I made a tweet—which some people have opinions about it, and it’s fine—where I was like, “Who’s ready to transition?” And people were like, “Oh my god, this girl is crazy. She is just riding the wave with this whole Trans thing.” And, well, a little bit, but I used my platform to ask a question to make people more comfortable to share. And, if you go through those comments, there are a lot of sweet angels. You can tell where their headspace is because you can see it you can feel tweets—Twitter has a weird sixth sense, and you can feel if someone’s being honest or shady, or if someone’s almost giving you a cry for help through a keyboard. You can see that there are these sweet angels that are out there like, “Oh my god, I think I’m ready. Oh my god, what is my next step?” And that is what the purpose of the tweet was. It’s not about the 10,000 people who like it and laugh at it, it’s about those 5 to 10 real people who probably never felt comfortable to talk about their truth, who never felt okay to share who they are on the inside with the public. But because of a silly girl—who acted a fool on TV and shared her truth and helped others own their truth on a show—is asking on Twitter, in an almost anonymous way, "Who’s ready to transition?” Now we have people coming forward and saying like, “Oh, you know what? I am! What are those steps?”

And that’s where I personally I take that liberty to be like, “Well, reach out to your local LGBTQ health providers—they actually can get you on hormones, they can help with access to your surgeries, or things that you might want to achieve as a woman.” But now they have the knowledge to go and seek that out. They’re not just here with a dream and no blueprint. We’re here to give the girls a little bit of what they need, or even a confidence boost, you know? Sometimes a simple gesture can go so, so, so, so far. And that’s literally what we do.

All that craziness on Twitter, that’s literally what it’s about. Because, if you look at Jesus, what did he do in the reality of the world? He walked into the absolute hottest messes of places, and he said, “I just want to be present, I just want to touch you, I just want to love you, and I just want to build you up to be something better than you were when you walked in.” And I can’t say I am Jesus, at all, in that respect. But, being raised in the church, I understand that fellowship spirit of “Let me just give you a hand, a shoulder, and a genuine heart for a moment in time. And let’s see what you do with it.” Because I guarantee you’re going to do something better than you would have done without that. You know, that’s what it’s about. And it’s a blessing.

The Looks You Didn't See

It’s practically tradition that eliminated queens will take to social media to show off the stunning looks they didn’t use on the runway. Every week, we’ll reserve this space to shout out our favorite “unseen looks.“

Kornbread “The Ankle” Jeté

@kornbreadTMFS

Walk into the room LOAF FIRST Photo: @dmvrtinez https://t.co/1l3u6rCQXk

6:46 PM - 12 Mar 2022

For the first time this season, Kornbread has graced us with a peek at the look she would’ve worn for the Holy Couture runway—and it’s a gag! Ms. Bread is our own personal Jesus, complete with a beard and the ‘ole water-into-wine trick. Praise her!! Also don’t miss: Alyssa Hunter praising pageantry, Orion Story serving flower power, plus glimpses at Kerri Colby and Kornbread’s unused Snatch Game characters.

Gagatrondra! It's The Tweets Of The Week

We wrap up every newsletter with a rundown of some of our favorite reaction tweets of the week, so use #DragRace and you may find yourself here!

Contra Versial

@VersialContra

Deja Skye on stage whilst every single queen gets dragged by all 4 judges back to back #DragRace https://t.co/Az7MBUOeBM

9:54 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Frank Costa

@feistyfrank

not Lady Camden serving Lord Farquaad 💀 #DragRace https://t.co/517keFyza3

8:37 PM - 11 Mar 2022

momo 💫

@reecie_pc

The girls in Untucked trying to figure out who’s going home this week #DragRace https://t.co/CoCLtAuUgH

9:23 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Jaime Lizardo

@jaimlizardo

#DragRace those were the days, here we go, Top 8 3 weeks in a row LET’S GO!! https://t.co/uEaAwIdf1H

11:16 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Want More?

This week on The Pit Stop, Monét X Change is joined by comedy queen Bianca Del Rio to dig into where and when this Snatch Game went so, so wrong. “Choices!,” Bianca says. Check it out below:

The Pit Stop S14 E10 | Monét X Change & Bianca Del Rio Sip N’ Snatch | RuPaul’s Drag Race

#RuPaul's Drag Race #Newsletter #Kerri Colby #Snatch Game S14 #The Sims #Zoo Tycoon

0 notes

thecreepiestcarrie · 3 years

Text

Michelle Vi$age calling she and Gottmik

Top surgery twins

Absofuckinloutely not.

It is not the same MicheHell. You had breast implants REMOVED when you didn't want them anymore.

Gottmik has had gender CONFIRMATION surgery.

They are not the same. You have not walked the same road. How fucking dare you minimise the significance of Mik's transition.

#rpdr #gottmik #michelle visage saying questionable things #shut up I know she had the implants removed for health issues #but it's not about you right now hen

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faimrpg · 3 years

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This entire week’s dashboard was an object lesson in how quantity and quality do apparently make good bedfellows, because damn, all these threads are proving it can be done? All of you are out here winning. Except Hippolyte, but... <3

Genuinely, there were so many replies to bowl us over, both individually and collectively, and we are once again so so inspired by the dedication & talent of our members (our beloveds...). Most of all, we are stunned by everyone’s determination to rally the common braincell for the purpose of developing this story arc together. Thank you so much and stay tuned (though some of you need to get some sleep, really) for tomorrow’s event !!

AGRIPPINE: does a lamb know how to face its slaughter? does the sacrifice know how to brace itself and accept, so yielding and pliant, as they are led to the altar? agrippine follows helene silently, afraid to make a sound lest she decide on a crueler punishment than the one she’s already listed.

BEAU: She begins to sit up, shuffling through a few things on his desk. Nothing wild or scandalous. Her thoughts briefly wander to if he has a lover, if he enjoys things other than following behind Calandre and cutting off heads. She snorts at the thought.

CECILE: Still, she allowed him his hesitation. She hopes he will allow her the same. She is accustomed to small, comfortable secrecies shared with Michel, secrets that smell of fresh pastries and Cecile’s finest perfume. It is an odd thing, to come here and discuss matters of blood.

CYRIL: It’s the way Gisele seems hellbent on forcing her beliefs about nobility that makes Cyril the most nervous. “You’re right, it is comforting and I could spend hours of my day wondering what could have been. And I never said I saw Celestine as a... meritocracy. I am aware of what it is.”

DEGARE: It never ceases to astonish him, unacquainted with magic as the next man, how she bleeds the objects of their tincture with such ease. Darkness washes over the cloth, like the spread of rot. The accents, wine-red, are a nice addition, though he doesn’t say so.

ETIENNE: Liane did not merely exist within the shadows— they were the forces that moved her, that fueled and called upon her— the very forces that she answered too. What dreadful devices existed beneath her splendid visage and how enamored he'd become as a result.

GISELE: Some believe there is constancy in the finality of grief, but the notion is misguided-- finality comes when the grief is sourced from circumstances beyond your control. Gisele’s grief is a suffocating shark on a fisherman's boat, slippery and sharp-toothed and either thrashing so violently it could shatter bone or lying so still you could not meaningfully tell if it was still clinging to life.

HELENE: It is a declaration, as she tilts her head to the side elegantly, a sharp eye pinning them down beneath her gaze. Fear does wonderful things to the psyche of those who cannot withstand it, but Helene does not have time for it. Only the auspices of this evening have kept the nobility from turning their eye, but they will not suffer it for long.

ISEULT: He flips the coin off his thumb and catches it. Doesn't even need to look. Knows the imprint of heads against his skin well enough to know the answer is 'Yes'. The prophet’s spoken. Iseult strolls on in.

LIANE: The sharp of her tongue mirrors the sharp of her stare as she lessens the distance between the two. “You know what I am. Do not deny it. You have always known, and still, you served your heart on a silver platter and expected me to be gentle with it.”

MATTHIEU: For a second, Matthieu watches its colour jump out, and thinks this thing between them is not just duty. It’s not just habit. In a way, saving her from the weight of the moment—from the brand, both holy and professed, of always having to leave her mark—is like working up to save himself.

MICHEL: He crushes any semblance of irritation under his heel, fingers twitching for his helmet -- he could put it on, but that would be dishonest, seem strange to don now after so many hours without it. Hippolyte’s blood still stains the silver plating.

PATRICE: He watches the man when the other’s gaze drops to his work, follows the sharp lines of his face to the softening of his expression. Can a face hold mystery, or only an expression? Savatier’s expression doesn’t seem to be projecting anything mysterious, simply humble and helpful, and yet there is something that Patrice wishes to crack open, a marrow he wishes to discover.

ROSALIND: When your desires are made equal in the other, when the bottomless hole of your stomach matches the bottomless hole in theirs, it becomes a question not of want and greed and hunger and avarice — but of dominion. Who will rule? Who will conquer? Who can bare their teeth and snarl the longest, until the other loses heart and shrivels away, swallowed whole?

SAINTE: They’re glad for their mask, hoping it hides their discomfort to some extent, although not much. It hangs in the air between them. “I don’t know.” They want to say no, but they can’t, can they? It’s undignified. But what dignity is there in the career they’ve chosen?

SAVATIER: he’d never known the touch of crushed silk until a courtier brushed against him at the summer palace, never understood the need nor the prevalence of masks, not even when he forced himself into the custom, not even when he forgot his in his chambers and weaved through the seas of marionette faces with his own flesh bared.

SIDONIE: His blood still stains the bottom of one of her heels and her jaw still still aches from being clamped shut to stifle her own inquiries. It is not her place to question Her Imperial Majesty, and anything that happens outside the realm of the arcane is beyond her purview.

VIOLAINE: Sidonie was real, and her splendor was something that existed outside of Violaine’s daydreams. The back of her hand outlined the curve of her companion’s cheek— her own way of affirming Sidonie’s existence, an existence that oft felt too good to have been true, so much so that Violaine could not help the random onsets of doubt.

YVON: she had never warmed a glass between palm and flushed breast, held to her heart like the carved wooden figures of odeline hand-crafted and favoured by peasant women, while standing witness to impromptu execution. liquid or ephemeral, she had never forgotten to abandon a flat, lifeless thing in exchange for one crisp and bubbling.

ZHENYA: Far beyond, the streets of the Northern city breathed in a tranquil cadence, humming with motion and thrumming with activity. All around him, life drawled on, idle and unhurried; ever eager to sustain its oblivion towards the halting horrors and terrorizing trials it so callously incited.

#faimadmin

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Tall And Small (Works For Us) (Utmik w/background Rosnali) - Flicks

A/N: Using she/her pronouns as the RuGirls are in drag. Excuse the amount of Merlechelle here, using them for framing devices mostly.

“You look… nervous?” Merle can’t help smirking, for once it’s not her feeling lost and confused. Usually she’s the one hanging off Michelle like a shy mouse, this time she’s the one in control. “They don’t bite you know…” “Yeah well, I was kinda…” “Your usual brand of bitchy honest?” “Yeah…” “They won’t care. They asked you to come remember?” Michelle sighs and Merle rolls her eyes, actively moving away from Michelle’s side to force her to talk to other people, greeting Gottmik with a wide smile. Utica, hanging back slightly, smiles as she joins them, noting Michelle is still lurking alone. “What’s with her?” Utica’s question gains a slight eyeroll and Gottmik laughs slightly. “Guess she thinks we hate her or something…” “We don’t… by the way.” Utica calls over, noting Michelle’s startled glance up and grinning, waving her over, wrapping long limbs around Michelle, then Merle. Gottmik smirks again, then also hugs Michelle, noting the surprise in her eyes. “Yeah it’s… a thing.” Gottmik teases, smiling as she wraps an arm almost lazily around Utica’s waist. “You get it right, tall and small?” “You girls look cute together.” Michelle finally manages to speak and Utica grins, kissing Gottmik’s cheek gently, noting the slight blush. They had never really expected this but touring with just the two of them has made it clear just how much they like each other. They can’t help it at this point. It feels natural. Gottmik has always been the braver, but Utica’s sweetness has always been the perfect foil for her. Even when she’s feeling a little lost. “So is that a yes to officiating the wedding?” Gottmik pauses, glancing at Utica, wondering if Utica is a little mad she asked the question. Utica’s smile and reassuring touch against her back puts her at ease and she smiles, waiting for the answer. Michelle, struck dumb for the first time in a while merely nods. “Good.” “Who’d have thought, Michelle Visage goes mute…” Utica teases, noting Merle’s silent smirk and choosing not to ask, winking at the other woman instead. The two had spent a little while longer before excusing themselves, heading over to their season 13 sisters. Utica smirking as she lead Gottmik over, greeting the girls with a smile and teasing laugh. “She said yes?” Rose sounds a little jealous and Gottmik laughs. “I’m not an idiot Rose…. I said yes.” “Can’t relate.” Rose mutters darkly and Utica laughs a little. “Maybe ask again, she might have thought you were kidding…” Denali drifts over at last having been at the bar, handing Rose a glass of rose wine before sipping her own drink. “Who?” Gottmik laughs then and excuses herself, heading across to the bar, Utica following as she watched Rose lead Denali away from the main group. “Think she’ll say yes?” “Oh I hope so.” Gottmik smirks as she adds. “Would be nice… they clearly adore each other.” “Yeah…” Utica pauses then asks an almost sweetly confused… “Since when was…” “Oh years ago, ‘Dora set them up…” “Well, good for her, she looks happy.”

“She is…” Both queens glance over and blush a little, Merle laughing slightly before accepting the ordered drinks. Leaving the two girls to talk as she added… “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her…” “She’s… kinda cute.” “Perfect for miss snarky…” “Yeah, guess she likes her women sassy.” “Mmm, I prefer cute.” Gottmik smirks, adding a playful… “and tall, very, very tall…” “Even…” “Oh yeah, even when you go all… what did you call it… ‘wacky wavy armed flailing girl’…” Gottmik smirks again as she adds. “You’re perfect.” “So are you…” Utica admits, still blushing even as Gottmik smiles, squeezing her hip gently, reassuring her she means every word.

#rpdr fanfiction #utica queen #gottmik #gottmik x utica #merle x michelle #rosnali #s13 #fluff #canon compliant #merle ginsberg #michelle visage #rosé #denali foxx #flicks

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aaronexplainsitall · 4 years

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Thoughts on Jameela Jamill coming out?

I think it’s horrific that she felt pressured to come out before she was ready and I don’t wish that experience on anyone. I also think it’s a great thing to have more visibly queer people in the public eye, especially women and especially women of colour. I think and hope she can do a lot of good by being visibly queer and it makes my heart feel warm that we live in a world with so many openly LGBT public figures.

I do not, however, think that anyone was claiming she couldn’t be a judge on a show about ballroom culture because they believed her to be straight, they were saying she shouldn’t be a judge because she has no connection to ballroom culture and that hasn’t changed. If, for example, Michelle Visage had been a judge (a cis, straight woman) no one would have cared because she came up through the ballroom scene and because she understands the talent she’s judging.

I think we should also note that the main group of people who were questioning Jameela Jamil’s qualifications for the job were trans women and I’m getting pretty tired of seeing our trans sisters being shouted down by other members of the community.

I do also think that it must be exhausting to be Jameela Jamil. I think she’s a fundamentally good person with good intentions, but I’ve grown really tired of her performative virtue signalling and the extent to which she encourages purity culture (all-the-while claiming to be opposed to purity culture). She will never be good enough for the people whose support she courts, because those people are obsessed with an inhuman level of perfection. They want people to fail because ultimately their raison d'être is to ‘cancel’ people for failing to live up to their impossible standards.

If you live to label other people problematic, you’ll die by your own problematic sword, as it were. I think she could do a lot more good if she was to try and take a more dialectical and balanced approach to life and to morality.

#jameela jamil #ballroom culture #lgbtq

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angel-deux-writes · 4 years

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50 questions

I was tagged by @agirlnamedkeith :)

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Orange

Name a food you never eat: Mushrooms. I just hate ‘em. Also don’t like seafood!

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Probably too cold, but that’s because being too warm bothers me more. So I’d rather keep my heat set at like 62 than risk being too warm. It’s much better for my eczema.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I think probably putting another load of laundry in? I’m trying to tidy up because my sister might be coming to work from home here later, and I have been living in a mild mess for weeks lmao.

What’s your favourite candy bar? Reese’s. Does that count as a bar? Let’s say yes. The eggs in particular!

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? I used to go see the Red Sox sometimes as a kid, once in Tampa Bay while we were on vacation. I went to see FC Barcelona play while visiting a friend (real talk: I probably would not have gotten on that plane if not for the fact that I really, really loved FC Barcelona at the time lmao. it was great to see my friend again, but I was terrified of going on vacation alone in a country I’d never been to! I didn’t even speak spanish at all before that trip! When I hyperfixate I will do ANYTHING lmao). I’ve also been to DC to see Barcelona play (terrifying. tiny planes. would not recommend. It ruled, though, and I got to take my brothers, which was nice). And several times to see Brazil’s national team play at Gilette, which was much easier, because it was like 20 minutes away from my house.

What was the last thing you said out loud? some variation of “oh for fuck’s sake” because I thought the dudes doing my neighbor’s basement renovation had stopped drilling, and then they picked back up.

What is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough of some kind? though I’m also a big fan of anything black raspberry.

What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee!

Do you like your wallet? I do! It was a gift from my mother, like, five birthdays ago? So I probably need a new one, but it’s cute.

What was the last thing you ate? .......i had a fruit roll-up. I’m turning 31 in a few days, and the last thing I ate was a fruit roll-up.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I can’t remember if it was this weekend or last weekend but I DID order a shirt from Redbubble that says “anders was right” lmao

What’s the last sporting event you watched? it was probably a Red Sox game? I used to watch them with my dad back when I could, you know, hang out with him without fear of passing a deadly disease to him and my mom!

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? butter, tho that caramel corn I always get at Christmas is nice too.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My sister to tell her that the dudes next door are STILL DRILLING and that she might want to rethink coming over.

Ever go camping? Nope! Hate even just the idea of it. My dad goes camping with his childhood friends every year, and every time they describe it, it makes me want to die.

Do you take vitamins? Nope! I used to, but then i ran out, and I haven’t bought any since then. I used to take fish oil pills because my dermatologist thought it might help with my eczema, but it didn’t.

Do you go to church every Sunday? Church? what’s that?

Do you have a tan? Never in my life. I am very pale, and turn red very easily. I’m slightly red right now because I spent maybe an hour hanging out on my parent’s deck over the weekend lmao. Also I’ve been going on a lot of walks lately, so I’ve got a lot more freckles on my face than I used to!

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food. Shouldn’t eat it, because I am allergic to soy, but I accept the stomach aches that come with it.

Do you drink your soda through a straw? Not anymore. I did when I had invisalign, though. I wasn’t supposed to drink ANY sort of soda or coffee with the invisalign in, so I was like “well, what if I use a straw”, and I never got yelled at by the orthodontist, so it must have worked.

What colour socks do you usually wear? I almost exclusively wear socks from Sock it To Me, so they’re all sorts of patterns. I also have a lot of Star Wars socks, because one of my Christmas gifts for the past few years has been a sock advent calendar!

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I’m from Massachusetts, so...... yes.

What terrifies you? Everything? I’m gonna go with lava. I really hate lava.

Look to your left. What do you see? My phone.

What chore do you hate most? Washing dishes. It’s gross, first of all, and the eczema constantly on my fingers means that the extra hand-washing is literally painful.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? lately? @slipsthrufingers lmao

What’s your favourite soda? Probably cherry coke?

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Drive-thru whenever possible.

What’s your favourite number? 15

Who’s the last person you talked to? My sister and her boyfriend as I was leaving their house, probably?

Favourite cut of beef? idk man, I just eat whatever is put in front of me.

Last song you listened to? Something from my Outrun playlist.

Last book you read? GENUINELY cannot remember. Reading has not been fundamental these past few months. I started Michelle Visage’s book, let’s go with that.

Favourite day of the week? Friday, probably

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probably if I think enough about it!

How do you like your coffee? with creamer in it!

Favourite pair of shoes? A pair of converse with rainbow bottoms, I think. I also have a pair of gray boots from American Eagle that I love.

Time you normally get up? I used to get up at 4:40, but lately it’s been 7, because I don’t have to commute anymore lmao.

Sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

How many blankets are on your bed? Currently none, because i’m washing my sheets. Usually 3-4

Describe your kitchen plates. Some of them have apples on them, some of them are plain with a green border, and some of them are easter plates with rabbits!

Describe your kitchen at the moment. Teal, small, and messy!

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I love a mojito. Also just...whiskey? of any kind?

Do you play cards? I prefer not to!

What colour is your car? Teal-ish blue!

Do you know how to change a tire? I certainly do not

Your favourite state? probably Massachusetts? I haven’t ever lived anywhere else lmao

Favourite job you’ve had? One summer I worked for my dad’s friend putting stickers on envelops and folding them and counting them and putting them in bigger envelopes, and I fucking loved it. Just mindness nonsense. I guess this job is good too, because I actually get paid and have benefits, but editing tech reports is VERY boring.

How did you get your biggest scar? I had one on my knee for a while that finally went away a few years ago, but it was from falling off a jungle gym at school! There was a gap that was slightly too big for my elementary school body, and I fell probably like 6 feet and landed hard on the pebbles that were scattered beneath it! A few of them were embedded pretty deeply in my skin, and there was this gross flap that was hanging open. They ended up replacing the rocks with sand because of me lmao. But now I guess it’s probably just my biopsy scar from back when they were trying to figure out if my weird rash was eczema or something worse! It’s never really healed right!

I’m not sure who else has been tagged so i’m gonna hit @slipsthrufingers since I already tagged her in this for the accent question lmao

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alicec-666 · 3 years

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Okay, so, I did it... I wrote my first creepy story about my oc, and... Oof, damn, I hope, I'm not too late for this yes I am late af I know

Anywaaaay, here it is ^^

Sharing only here, so, please, no reblogging or claiming your ownership on it, okay?

Thank you in advance!

And hope you enjoy :')

The Sarah's Mask (original story, pls, no copyright)

It was today's afternoon when it happened. Judging by the nine years I worked in this mental hospital, I can be certain when yelling you that the work that needed to be done got bigger every month, and most of my coworkers have coped with it as much as they could. We dealt with many troublesome patients during this period, and hardly any cases would be ofof what I could call "extraordinary". Certainly, there were many depressive individuals with an intent of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, or schizophreniacs that associated their world with ours in almost the same way, that is, with visages of silhouettes that weren't there or voices in their heads, you know the drill. Rarely so, but we also got an experience of working with the local criminals, who were on the verge of beginning a genocide on the streets or feeling joy through the sexual acts with other individuals, whether they wanted it or not, and whom we needed to check on mental stability during their process in the court. Not only cases, but the age range of our patients was rather normal too; from the young teenagers to the elderly people, whoever had troubles in their life and wanted to be cured, or were forced to by the judging society, those could join into our therapy whenever they wanted. And today was not an exception.

In the afternoon, while having a break, I was sitting onon the sofa in the rest room together with Michelle and Jim, talking about life and giggling at the fun situations, which we had before the work, similar to the ones of one being late to the job together with a manager, or mistaking a random person for your good acquaintance, you can name any of it. Anyway, it was through the laughter and sipping coffee, when I recall having heard a knock in the door. With a cheerful invite to come in from Michelle, I've seen how the door opened slightly, and behind itself revealed a peeking out face of Lucy, the psychiatrist trainee who has finished her studies over a year ago. Her face was rather worried, but I shook it off at first, knowing that the lady was known to be rather shy with the clinic's staff in general.

- Excuse me for interrupting, but if you don't mind, I would like to ask Mr Owen to come out for a moment, - her voice was trembling, and II noticed how she looked at her feet in embarrassment, but quietly appreciated her efforts of coming herehere by herself, which already made some progress in willingness to cooperate with others instead of always being on her own. Surely, in her 23 years, Lucy was one of the youngest workers here, nonetheless, she was very gifted with a wish to learn and improve.

- I will be just a second, - getting off the sofa and giving an assuring smile to the staring colleagues, I raised up and with a nod came up towards the young trainee and out in the hall, closing the door after myself in the process. Looking the woman up and down, I leaned towards the wall behind me and smiled softly:

- Is anything the matter, Lucy? As far as I'm concerned, you have been assigned with a patient this morning, correct? So, have you found out what is the case there?

- Yes, sir... I mean, no, sir-- I-I mean, - there was a folder in Lucy's arms that I noticed her clenching to every now and then, the folder with a printed surname on it "Junior". It was a patient that I have heard about only the previous evening, when a man from the register said that some odd looking adolescent came up to them and registered for the therapy for this morning, and, after leaving copies of her documents, has left shortly. From what we knew about this patient so far is that it was a female of age 20 with the blue tone coloured hair tied into a long pigtail, purple sports clothes and red shoes. However, what interested me the most from the register guy's description, was that this woman the entire time, through coming up to him and signing up for a meeting, has held an obnoxious foaming mask together with her. Long story short, we accepted her to have a meeting with Lucy, since both of these women were at their last years of forming their identity to the society, and could have something in common. That is why I was truly surprised when Lucy, now sobbing before me, said shakingly, - I... I can't do this, sir! She is not like any patients I needed to deal with before, she scares me.

- She is younger than you by almost four years, Miss Cadavre, - I said in a firm voice with a sigh, - And she is hardly any different from any other patients we had here so far, even though she does have quite... An extraordinary sense of fashion.

- You don't understand, Mr Owen, she is just something I don't think I can cope with, - noticing just now that her eyes kept filling up with tears, the trainee quickly wiped them with her sleeve, and looked at me again, - And it's not only her physical looks, she seems to be so... Unnerving. With her quick change of behavior or her murmuring something about hearing that "annoying voice" in her mind... Not to mention dozing off and talking to herself while I was trying to chat with her.

- I'm pretty sure there is nothing to worry about, my dear. Honestly, it may be nothing as serious as schizophrenia. - I shrugged, being fairly disappointed in the trainee's words, - It would be odd if you missed the classes about this disorder during your studies, Mrs Cadavre.

- I didn't miss any, sir! But I do swear to you, this girl is not like those patients I've dealt with before, - she was shaking at this point, and she was right at some point; as she was a newbie, we didn't want her to deal with any extreme cases yet, so the most of her patients were depressive teenagers or elderly people with the trauma after losing their kids or grandkids in an accident, - I cannot explain it, but I can't work with her one on one in there! So, I was thinking if I could be replaced by someone else

- Absolutely not. Unfortunately, miss Cadavre, you are the only one left among those who have been given tasks with the new wave of patients, since everyone else is busy by now. - I made a small pause, and after seeing how her gaze dropped on the floor again, thought to self for a mokent, after which spoke up again, - If you're so worried, however, I could come to her together with you, as an observer. This way, I will note what your trouble with her may be, and could help you out.

The trainee quickly raised up her head staring at me with her shining gray eyes, which clearly showed the gratitude, after which she nodded with a delight, and a quiet "thank you" came out of her mouth.

After some twelve minutes passing by, both of us came into the room 042, the Lucy's cabinet, which contained of two chairs, a small sofa, a table and some shelbes on the wall where several documents and the trainee's personal belongings took their place. On the sofa or, rather, by it, there was a female in her dirty sports clothes, with a greenish-blue hair and hazel eyes, who was holding an odd black mask in her hands and rubbing it slightly. Even as we came in and Lucy sat down on one of the chairs, the patient was asas if unaware of our existence, being distracted by her own doing, and murmuring some odd sentences, somesome of which I could hear as "I know that you don't like it, but I want it to end once and for all", "We can't be friends anymore, you do understand it, right?", "Please, stop saying such horrible things to me...". Looking down at the worried trainee, then back at the female, I cleared my throat, trying my best to gain the adolescent's attention, and once I did, I peoceeded in greeting her:

- Greetings, you must be Sarah Junior, right? My name is doctor U. N. Owen, and this, - I gestured to Lucy, who gave out her best comforting smile to the patient, - is my colleague and the best therapist, miss Ca--

- I am well acquainted with miss Cadavre, thank you, - glancing at me, the adolescent sat right on the couch this time, putting the mask beside her on the small decoration cushion, and spoke up again, - It was the first thing we did on this meeting before... She ran out of the cabinet for some reason.

Junior looked at the trainee rather apathetically, after which proceeded to stare after me with her cold eyes, as I managed to get myself straight, not turning away from her. In my 47 years lived in this society, I was well aware of how most of the patients here and manipulators in general tended to keep an eye contact with their "prey", trying to break their interlocutor's confidence, and get an upper hand in the conversation. Looking back at Sarah, I continued:

- Right, so... Getting to the main point, miss Cadavre is going to ask you some questions about your life and troubles since you must have come to us for a reason. And, let me tell you, it's very... Appreciated of you to be seeking for cure on your own, especially since not many people can be managed to get to the thera-- Excuse me, but are you listening right now?

- She isn't, sir... - replied Lucy, both me and her staring at Junior who was now looking at the ceiling while hardly blinking, - It's just as I said before, this girl tends to be spacing out from time to time, so I couldn't talk to her normally.

Glancing at the trainee, and then back at Sarah, I noticed how something black begun arising in the air beside the female... The smoke? As it began rising higher, I just then noticed how the mask, lying like before on the cushion, turned it black as its eyes and mouth's holes began glittering with a weird yellow lighting, and I could swear that on the same mask, the mouth hole widened in an awful grin, after which the smoke, as black as was this piece of Sarah's inventory, has slowly spread through the closed cabinet. Unable to sense a thing, except for some odd smell of mixed gas and cotton candy, the only thing I remember is coughing while trying to breathe through the suffocating fumes and seeing how the Sarah's silhouette, beginning to get off the couch as if nothing happened, put the mask on her face, and stared back at me, with an amused laughter tricking out of her lips, and as its volume was increasing, I lost my balance sue to inhaling too much of the smoke and had a hard fall on the floor, falling into slumber.

Since that moment, at least three hours have passed for sure, since now, looking at the clock on my wrist, I can without a doubt remember when I came into this cabinet. Oddly enough, instead of lying on the cold floor as I think I was on before, I found myself on the same couch that Junior once was on. Not only that, but there is a track of almost dried blood on the floor before the Lucy's table... Checking myself on any wounds or bruises, though, not without a relief, I found out that didn't have any savage wounds or, furthermore, any bleeding spots. Miss Cadavre, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. Right now, while writing to you about all of this story, my hands are trembling, as I can't keep my eyes from glancing at the pale lifeless body of this poor trainee. I don't know if that adolescent is still in the clinic now or what she had against Lucy, but one thing is for sure, I shouldn't have been so reckless to let the newbie take this woman in the first place... Especially not after what I found on her desk.

After reading this entire letter from her, it's clear to me that not only has she got a major peek of mental instability, but she is also needed to be secluded from society no matter the costs. This is why, even if I can't do much for you from my current spot now, please, I beg of you, be very wary. And if you ever meet an obnoxious girl in the sports costume with the dyed hair, and the foaming mask - don't come close to her, not under any circumstances. Or the consequences of this encounter may be inevitable.

#creepypasta #crrepypasta oc #sarah junior #creepy story #I'm learning to write #hope you enjoy #pls don't copy #I tried my best here #honest #my writing #alicec 666

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writethehousedown · 4 years

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Chocolate (Kamjie) - madisonmateomichaels

I just want to thank everyone you helped me out with this labour of love and I really hope that you love it as much as I do. Just to let you know the flashblacks are all in first person POV and the present is in third present.

T/W: anxiety, angsty, mild smut

I can still remember the last time I touched her delicate silky cheeks, kissed her soft plump lips, the way our hands fit together like puzzle pieces, so perfectly. The smell of her shampoo, that was both sweet and delightful, her bodywash that made her smell good enough to eat, and the exact scent of body spray she used after a long day at the gym. Details hovered in perfect clarity in my mind, tainted only by the feeling of heartbreak, despair and regret. I never thought that I’d be able to do it again, not like that.

Vanessa’s broken out of her thoughts by the gentle caress of a hand on her cheek. “What are you thinking about babe?”

“Oh nothing, really.” Vanjie swipes a piece of Brooke’s hair behind her ear. “Just remembering what my life was like before you came into it.”

“Oh, is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Brooke asks a little nervous about the answer.

“A little bit of both, but I’m definitely grateful that you’re in my life now, and I’d never change that.” Vanjie strokes Brooke’s cheek and kisses the top of her head before Brooke puts her head back down in Vanjie’s lap and goes back to sleep immediately. Vanjie, however, continues to daydream, the TV playing something that she’s not even paying attention to in the background.

————————–

Vanessa “Vanjie” Mateo was one of two new hires to teach spin classes at the St.Charles Complex. She’d never really been into fitness, but needed a job, and figured that she could charm her way in, which she did. She was loud, energetic and full of charisma. Charisma which often got her out of the trouble that her big mouth likely got her in, in the first place.

She wiped her hands on her dress pants, before standing up and grabbing the hand that was being offered to her. “Thank you so much, Miss. Visage, you won’t regret this I promise.” Her nerves had gotten to her and she couldn’t seem to stop shaking Miss. Visage’s hand.

“Please, dear, call me Michelle. And I’m really hoping that I won’t,” Michelle said, pulling her hand away from Vanessa and leading her to her office door. “Okay so you start Tuesday, just go to the desk in the gym and tell them who you are, they’ll have all of your paperwork waiting for you. If you have any questions please call.“

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” Vanessa couldn’t hold in her excitement for very much longer. She was trying hard not to scream and jump up and down with joy.

Tuesday morning Vanessa made sure that she was up, showered and ready early, something the notoriously late young girl was never good at. She had tried on a multitude of different outfit choices the night before, trying to make sure that she looked cute, sporty and professional - something that wasn’t quite as easy as she thought it would be, but she finally decided on one. After brushing her dark curls into a neat ponytail, and applying her makeup she was ready to go.

Entering the gym that day, Vanjie thought that she might just vibrate right out of her skin.

“Hi, I’m Vanessa, I’m supposed to start today. Michelle said that you guys would have all my paperwork?” her nervous energy was giving way as she leaned on the counter and bounced on the balls of her feet, trying not to vomit.

“You must be one of the new hires for the spin class I’m guessing.” The girl behind the desk barely even looked up from what she was doing.

Vanjie only nodded her head, a gesture the girl didn’t see as she stood up with a stack of papers in her hand and motioned for her to follow. As they walked through the gym to the back where there looked to be offices, Vanjie noticed a very attractive redhead, with tattoos decorating her muscular arms and chest, giving a training session and made a mental note to find out who she was and to see if she gave private lessons.

It was a few days later when Vanjie would finally get her chance to talk to the beautiful tattooed redhead she had been watching. She was standing at the front desk, talking to one of the other trainers when Vanjie leaned over the desk, pretending to check the schedule for when her next class started and tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear, before looking up long enough to make eye contact. After a few seconds, she glanced up again and smiled, which made the other girl giggle and blush. That was when Vanjie knew that gorgeous redhead was hers.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m Vanessa, the new spin class instructor.”

“Hi, I’m Kameron.” the redhead spoke so softly that Vanessa could barely hear her, but she sure did have a beautiful name. Kameron couldn’t take her eyes off of Vanjie and it made her feel like a million dollars. At this point the other trainer that Kameron was talking to said something, but neither of the girls heard what, and Kameron just waved goodbye without even taking her eyes off of the short brunette in front of her.

“I feel like I’ve seen you around before. You work here?” Vanjie asked, hoping to strike up a conversation. YES!!! That was perfect!! Let her think that you haven’t been watching her. Vanjie thought to herself.

“Yeah. I’m a trainer here at the gym,” Kameron replied quietly, biting her lower lip and playing with a few strands of loose hair.

“Oh, nice. We’ll be close, then,” Vanjie said and quickly realized how odd the words sounded. “I mean - we’ll be working near each other, like in the same gym. Obviously, we’ll be teaching different things.” She hoped Kameron couldn’t see the blush tinting her skin. “So we should you know, exchange numbers and maybe hang out, you know not inside this smelly ass gym. I mean, if you want to of course Mami.”

The crimson colour of Kameron’s cheeks let Vanjie know the answer before it was even verbalized. “I’d really like that.”

———————-

It is like most any other morning: Kameron’s sitting at the kitchen table scrolling through her newsfeed when she hears the front door open.

“Asia, is that you?” Kameron asks, not looking up from her phone.

“Hey baby, I got you one of the chocolate croissants that you love so much. I thought that you deserved a little treat since you’ve been working so hard lately.” Asia places the paper bag on the counter as she takes off her coat.

“Oh thanks, babe. I’ve been craving something sweet lately, not that anything is as sweet as you kisses.” Kameron puckers her lips and waits as Asia leans forward, giving Kam a quick kiss before pulling away with a smile on her face.

”Brr, babe your nose and lips are cold.” Kam breathes out as she places her hands on either side of Asia’s face, hoping it will help warm it up.

“Then maybe you should warm them up for me,” is all that Asia manages before Kameron pulls her back down to deepen their previous kiss. Asia’s the first to pull away, much to Kameron’s dismay. “As much as I love this, I need coffee to be able to function and I’m hungry.”

Asia’s sitting on the other side of the table a little while later finishing up her coffee and croissants.

“Kam, how did you even discover that cafe? They have the best coffee and desserts.”

“Oh, Vanjie showed it to me shortly after she started working at the gym.” This sparked a memory that Kameron hadn’t thought about in a long time.

“That girl would be the one to find a place like that. Well, I’m going to take a quick shower before we have to leave for work.” Walking around the table, she gives Kam a quick kiss on the forehead before heading off to the bathroom. Kameron suddenly loses herself in the thought again, of the first time that she had ever been to that cafe, on her first date with Vanjie.

It was this time last year, wow how things can change in just one short year. Vanjie had asked me to meet her for a coffee at this new coffee shop that she had just discovered. It was cold out, and Vanjie looked so cute in that scarf she had wrapped around her, that covered most of her face. The shop was small and quiet, which I noticed and loved right away - now I didn’t have to worry about my anxiety too much. She really did think of every last detail. We sat near the back at a cute little table with mismatched chairs.

”This place has the best chocolate croissants,” Vanjie said excitedly, pulling the scarf from over her mouth so she could speak, and I took note of how the apples of her cheeks had flushed crimson in the cold.

“I’ll try one,” I agreed. I’d always had a bit of a sweet tooth, especially when it came to chocolate; it’d always been a weakness of mine. We made small talk about the gym and how Vanessa was enjoying her new job so far until our order arrived. As the girl was placing our things on the table she accidentally dropped one of the croissants, quickly apologizing and informing us that those were the last two.

“It’s okay, I didn’t really need one anyway, I can have something else.” Vanjie was quick to make the girl feel at ease.

“We can always just share mine. These things are huge, and I really don’t think that I could eat the whole thing by myself.” I interjected as I could tell that Vanjie had actually been looking forward to having one of those croissants.

“Really? You don’t mind?” I had never seen Vanjie look so timid before that moment. She always seemed to radiate confidence. Reaching across the table, I put my hand on top of hers, and I could instantly see the blush that was replacing the crimson from the cold.

“Babe, you’re still not ready for work yet?” Asia’s voice breaks Kameron out of her head and back to reality. “We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry.”

“I’m just going to hop in the shower quick then I’ll be ready to go.”

“You could have showered with me, you know,” Asia says, wrapping her arms around Kameron’s waist, pulling her close.

“If I had showered with you then we really would have been running late.” With a quick kiss, Kameron slips out of her girlfriend’s grasp and heads for the shower.

——————-

“Wow baby, that was amazing. I don’t think I could eat another bite.” Vanjie says as she slides her chair away from the table.

“That’s too bad, cause I got us something special to share for dessert,” Brooke states while she starts to put the dirty dishes in the sink. Vanjie’s ears perk up at the mention of dessert, always one to enjoy something sweet when offered.

“Well, I mean, I wouldn’t want the special surprise to go to waste. I’m sure you put a lot of thought into it.” Vanjie stands up from the table to help with the dishes.

“No, no, it’s fine if you’re full, don’t force yourself to eat any more on my account.” Brooke knows that she has Vanjie in the palm of her hand, by acting the victim.

“Baby really, I want to share the surprise with you. How bout we go sit in the living room, and put on a movie, your choice, and eat the dessert that you got us.” The brunette is quick to make sure that she hasn’t hurt Brooke’s feelings. “Does that sound good to you?” Vanjie wraps her arms around the blonde’s waist and places a soft kiss to her lips.

Brooke carries out a plate with chocolate-covered strawberries and a bowl of whipped cream and the couple snuggles together on the couch, picking a movie for the night. Vanjie grabs one of the strawberries and dips it into the whipped cream, before feeding it Brooke who manages to get whipped cream on the tip of her nose. Vanjie wipes it off and licks her finger, before running her tongue over her lips and slowly leaning into Brooke. Brooke’s eyes are already starting to fall shut in anticipation of what is about to happen. Vanjie whispers the words against Brooke’s mouth. ”You have chocolate on around your mouth. You should go wash it off.”

Brooke’s eyes snap open as she slaps the shorter girl’s arm and pushes her away, and Vanjie can only lay on the couch doubled over as she laughs.

“You are so evil, you know that?” Brooke gets up from the couch to go wash her face.

“Yes and you still love me!” is heard from behind her as she makes her way to the bathroom.

As Vanjie sits alone on the couch, she begins to think of the last time she wiped whipped cream from someone else’s nose.

It was so sunny that day and we could hear the sound of the snow crunching under our boots as we walked. We had gone to the winter festival that was being held at the complex. There were so many people there and I was worried that with Kameron’s anxiety this might be too much for her to handle, but she insisted that we go.

“Wow look at all the different games they have!” Kameron’s eyes were shining bright and her cheeks were beginning to turn pink from the cold.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You know we don’t have to stay long if you don’t want to.”

“Yes I’m fine. Would you please stop asking me that and enjoy yourself.” Kameron’s voice had a slight tone of annoyance to it.

“Okay, well what do you want to do first?” I wanted to make sure that she had the best time of her life.

“Can we get some hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream?” she asked, linking her arm with mine.

“Of course, anything you want. Today is about you.”

It took about fifteen minutes to finally get our hot sweet treats, and it only took Kameron one sip to completely cover her nose in whipped cream.

“You have something right there.” I told her pointing at her nose. ” Here, let me get it for you.” I gently ran my finger over her nose to clean the sweet creamy mess and licked my finger clean.

“Thank you.” she blushed, wiping her mitten across her nose to make sure I had gotten it all. I stepped closer, closing the gap between us. I noticed that her eyes kept darting to my lips and back up again and knew that this was my chance.

“I think that you may have something right there…” I leaned in and could feel her hot breath, before gently pressing my lips to hers. That was the first time we kissed and it was magical.

Brooke rips Vanjie from her thoughts as she sits down on the couch next to her, pulling a blanket over their laps. “Ready to start the movie now babe?”

“Yeah of course, what do you want to watch? Tonight is about you.”

——————–

The stores are always the worst this time of the year. Everyone is trying to find the perfect present for that special someone. Vanjie, having already bought Brooke’s gift weeks ago, is only looking for the one little extra thing that will make it that much more special. After walking through what seems to be her twentieth store, she realizes where she is. This is the same chocolate shop that she bought Kameron those chocolate truffles that she loved so much, and as she walks around the display case she sees them.

And there you are, in your perfect shiny wrapped glory, all lined up so nice on the shelf just waiting to ruin more people’s lives, she thinks to herself before she is plunged into the memory of a night she’d rather forget.

We sat on Kameron’s couch eating the chocolate truffles I had brought her as a special gift, music playing softly in the background, sipping wine and talking. Suddenly a song came on that I had never heard before, it had an almost ethereal feel to it. As I began to listen to the lyrics, it was like the song was speaking to me and how I felt.

“I got caught up in conversation

You’re the only one with my attention

And all I want to do is melt into you…”

Looking at the beautiful girl next to me as the music took over my body, all I could think of doing was pulling her close and letting the music take over us.

Standing up swaying to the music, ”dance with me?” I asked offering my hand.

“What? Now?“

“Yeah. Come on Mami, it’s the two of us, and I’m not going to judge you if you bad at it.”

“I don’t know.” The way Kameron wouldn’t even make eye contact, nervously biting her lower lip broke my heart. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. I tugged her arms around my neck before grabbing her waist and pulling her close. We began swaying and spinning in slow circles around her living room. The soft golden glow from the lamp in the corner mixed with the music and the smell of Kameron’s body spray was all just so perfect. I had never felt this happy before and I would have done anything to stay like that forever.

You got kind eyes for a control freak

So much attitude without knowing

And all I want to do is dive into you

From the moment I met you

Pulling her closer, hands holding tight to her waist, I slowly tipped my head up, pressing kisses up her neck, to her jawline. Kameron’s quiet breathy sighs against my hair struck me with a bolt of confidence. Despite the reluctance that had been in her eyes, she was still melting into my every touch, just like I hoped she would.

Wait for a slow song

Wait for a slow song to come on

It might make you whisper

And I’ll have to move closer to hear you

With my renewed confidence I began moving my hand so I could grip her perfect tight ass, while my lips continued to lick and nip at her neck. Kameron’s sighs became audibly louder, more ragged. Her arms tightened around my neck, as I felt her digging her nails into my hair.

“Should we take this to the bedroom?” I asked before nipping at her ear.

Again, there was some reluctance, and that made me worry, but not enough to ask what was wrong. I didn’t want her to back out. I didn’t want me to back out. I felt like, if it didn’t happen tonight, it wouldn’t happen at all… I didn’t know how right I was.

Kameron followed close behind as I lead the way to the bedroom, swinging the door open wide. She stepped past me into the room and I seized her by the waist, swinging her back around to be pressed up against the door, which I shut behind us. Her eyes were surprised and excited, and another thing that set my gut clenching. Kameron looked impressed.

I took the opportunity to smack my palm against the door next to her ear. The sound startled her, and she flinched enough that I got the opening to stick my knee between her legs. Kameron’s lips pulled wide into a smile. Her eyes sized me up for what felt like the first time, and she shook her head a tiny bit. “Who are you?” she breathed.

I traced my thumb over her hairline near her temple and Kameron leaned into my touch. She glanced back at me when I stopped moving, and that’s when I pressed my lips against hers for a passionate, hungry, needy kiss. By the time I pulled back, her eyes were dark with arousal. Just seeing her like that caused my heart to skip a beat. And oh boy did I want more.

Kameron’s red lips parted. “Vanj…”

“Oh baby…” My voice came out in a husk, and I watched a shiver go down Kameron’s left side. I couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that rose to my mouth, so I hid in her hair, breathing onto her ear. “I’m just getting started.”

Without warning, I dragged my teeth over the folds of her ear. Immediately, her whole body coiled and she let out a guttural moan. That sound alone did more for me than anything ever had before. Her hands found my waist and clung on tight as she writhed down onto my knee. I leaned in to reconnect our lips and this time, there wasn’t a hint of holding back from Kameron.

She took my cheeks in her hands and held me there, stood up straighter, craning my neck to keep us connected as she started walking me back. A shiver went up my spine– Kameron was leading me backwards to the bed. My calves were gonna hit the edge in a few steps. Before they could, my girlfriend grabbed the front of my top and pulled up, only to use that hold to throw me down onto the mattress.

Before I could gasp for breath, Kameron was on top of me, smothering me with her lips, her scent, her hair. Her hands were curling through my hair and scratching the back of my neck and she was straddling my hips, pressing down on my abdomen and dear God we still had too many clothes on!

I reached down to pull up the hem of my top first, needing freedom, needing air, just needing. Kam was only too willing to help me out and throw the discarded top back at the door. Her hands immediately took advantage of my exposed skin, cold fingers against my burning body. I clamped my hand around a chunk of hair by the edge of her jaw and under her ear. I pulled her to the side enough to try and get the pull I needed to flip us over.

And there she was beneath me, and she looked up at me with those eyes. Slowly, deliberately, Kameron sat up, dragging her chin, nose and lips up my stomach to my abs, to my bra, making me shiver. When she started breathing and kissing at my pulse point, I surrendered. I couldn’t go on leading this whole thing when she did that. I made noises, my vision went dark, all I knew was how much I needed to be touching her without that dress in the way. I must have said something because Kameron pulled off of my neck to get me to repeat it. Panting, I reached for the zipper on the back of the dress. “Off.”

I was able to pull the first bit of the zipper down, enough that she was able to reach behind and do the rest. Kameron reconnected our lips while she stretched and shifted out of it. She kicked her feet and I heard the dress join my top in the forgotten realm. Finally free to wander around and feel and kiss and smell wherever I pleased, I felt like a kid in a candy store. There were just so many possibilities! I dug my thumbs in beside Kameron’s hips and pressed my mouth to her breastbone. From above, I heard: “Vanessa…”

My fingers went a little lower. We had plenty of time for this right? I could always retrace steps I skipped over. I just so badly wanted it now I couldn’t wait. My pointer fingers curled around the waistband of Kameron’s underwear. Her body tensed. “Vanessa.”

Her tone was so short, so different from how it sounded a minute ago. Looking up, I saw an expression on her face that I couldn’t quite read, but I didn’t like what it had to say anyway. Her hands covered mine and pulled them away from her waistband. There was something sad in her voice when she said, “Stop.”

Vanjie is suddenly brought back to her senses by the sound of a car horn honking at her.

“What the hell are you doing!! Pay attention to where you’re going!”

Without even realizing it, while lost in thought about the past, she has walked out of the store and made her way to her car, stepping in front of a moving car in the parking lot.

“Sorry!”

———————–

Kameron doesn’t know why she’s tapping her foot nervously while waiting for her girlfriend to open the door to her apartment. She just suddenly felt a wave of nervous energy come over her, like something bad was about to happen.

Hurry up, Asia!! Kameron thinks as she knocks on the door again.

“I’m coming, Jesus Christ!!” Asia yells right before swinging the door open. ”What is your hurry today?”

“I don’t know, I just had this bad feeling come over me. Can I come in please?” Asia moves out of the way so Kameron can enter, stopping to give Asia a quick kiss before taking her coat off. Asia can see that something really must be bothering the other girl.

Kameron’s posture is much more tense than normal, so Asia quickly wraps her up in a tight hug, kissing her jawline and whispering reassurances into her ear. “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you babe, I promise.” Asia instantly feels Kameron begin to relax into her touch.

“Why don’t we go get a drink and go sit on the couch, maybe I’ll give you a massage to help you relax a bit?” Asia asks, rubbing the tight muscles of Kameron’s back before pulling away to walk towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, that sounds really good to me, hot stuff.” Kameron smacks Asia’s juicy ass, earning her a squeak from the other girl.

There’s a box of chocolates sitting on the counter that Kameron quickly notices, and instantly knows what they are. “Where did this come from?” she asks, a little apprehensive, as her body starts to tingle.

“Oh, they were a present for Monet from a secret admirer,” Asia states, “Isn’t that romantic?”

Kameron doesn’t hear her though as she’s already being whisked back to that night,

I had invited Vanjie over with every intention of telling her that we needed to end things, but when I opened the door to her smiling face handing me a box of chocolate truffles I began to lose my nerve. I was trying to wait for the perfect moment to bring it up, it just never appeared. But after a few glasses of wine to give me some courage, she had somehow managed to convince me to dance with her.

Her eyes shone as she held out her hand to me, “Yeah. Come on Mami, it’s the two of us, and I’m not going to judge you if you bad at it."

I tried to look away, I knew that if I looked into those perfect brown puppy dog eyes, I would be done for. But once she grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch I knew it was all over.

The way that she held me close while we swayed and spun around my living room, the way her hair smelled like vanilla and strawberries, the way she started to kiss my neck and I began to melt into her touch and that was it, I was gone. I totally forgot why I wanted to end things, or that I wanted to end them at all.

The way that she asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom, before nipping at my ear, made my body shiver and all I could do was nod my head in agreement, even though I knew I should’ve been stopping things. I should’ve been letting her know the real reason that I had asked her to come over.

The way that she pushed me against the door as soon as we entered my bedroom, made me weak in the knees, and I felt my panties begin to get wetter than they already were. I couldn’t believe what was happening. “Who are you?” I wondered with growing need.

I lost myself in the passion and the burning desire deep within me that was begging me to feel more, do more. It wasn’t until I was lying on my bed in nothing but my bra and panties, her fingers tracing the outline of my underwear, that I realized I had let things get way out of control.

My body tensed, “Vanessa”.

I moved my hands to cover hers, and pull them away from my waistband, though I didn’t want to. “Stop”

By the look on her face, I knew that she already knew something was wrong.

“What is baby? Did I do something wrong? It seemed like you were really enjoying it.” her questions came pouring out before I could even process them.

“No you didn’t do anything wrong, I did. I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I never meant to let things get this far. In - in fact, I… I think we’re going too fast, Vanessa.”

Vanjie stared at me, wide-eyed with shock, hands hovering stiffly in midair.

“We can slow it down then babe, we’ll take all the time you need.” the desperation in her voice was evident, and I could see the tears already building at the corners of her eyes.

“I’m just not ready. Not for… this, not for a relationship, not for–” My gaze was clouding, hot tears pricking at the back of my eyes. Don’t cry. Not here, not now. “I’m really sorry…"

Vanjie could only take a moment to blink at me, breathing heavily. "You’re - you’re breaking up with me?”

I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, I didn’t know what to say and I suddenly felt very exposed, perched on my bed in my underwear. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I began looking for my dress.

Suddenly she was off the bed, looking for her clothes before she swung the door open with a bang that made me jump and squeal. Vanjie turned with angry tears in her eyes,

”How could you do this to me! I thought that you liked me! Why didn’t you just say that you didn’t want a relationship in the first place instead of leading me on!” Vanjie screamed the accusations at me, and I felt them each hit me like arrows through my heart. I was frozen in place. As she put her clothes on, I managed to control myself enough to make my way out of my bedroom just before I heard the front door slam shut. I got a sudden rush of panic. Oh God, what had I done! I thought, swing the door open, I had to say something to her.

“Vanjie!” I said just loud enough for her to hear me.

“Don’t Kameron! Just don’t! Go back inside and don’t follow me.”

“Kam? Kameron!”

Kameron is jolted abruptly from the memory by a soft hand shaking her shoulder. It’s Asia, peering worriedly into her eyes. “Earth to Kameron,” she says. “Are you okay? You totally zoned out there.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.” Kameron wipes at a stray tear she doesn’t know has escaped till it is running down her cheek.

“You’re crying babe, are you sure you’re okay?” Asia steps closer and wraps her arms around Kameron’s shoulders, kissing her temple.

“Yeah it’s nothing babygirl, I promise.” Grabbing onto Asia’s arms, Kameron gives her a reassuring squeeze. “Why don’t we go sit on the couch now, and you give me that massage.” Kameron leans her head back on Asia’s shoulder, as she tries to push memories of the past out of her head.

————————–

It had been weeks since the night I thought my heart would never heal from. I was sitting in my classroom waiting for my first class to arrive when I realized that I’d forgotten to pack my morning protein shake. I quickly made my way over to the juice bar in the gym, doing my best not to look around and see if Kameron was at work yet.

“Hey Vanj, you’re lookin’ good today. So how can I help you?” Aidan nodded at me from behind the counter, looking me up and down.

“Stop staring at me like I’m a piece of meat Aidan, and just get me a peanut butter chocolate protein shake please,” I snapped. I did not have the patience or the time to deal with this kind of thing right now.

“Sorry, but we just ran out of peanut butter. Is there anything else I can do for you? Maybe take you on a date this weekend?” Aidan wiggled his eyebrows and smiled like he was irresistible.

“Don’t make me throw up, it’s far too early for that, plus you know I don’t date men anymore. And before you can even say it, don’t be giving me no ‘you just haven’t found the right one’ bullshit. I’m still too broken-hearted for that crap.” Looking at my watch, I realized class would be starting soon, and wondered if my bad day could get any worse.

I turned around to see Kameron standing about ten feet away, just watching me.

Shit. I thought. This is just what I need right now.

I could only stand and stare at her awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say, if anything at all. Kameron finally broke the silence: “Umm, sorry, I think I may have been the reason that they’re out of peanut butter. But you can have mine if you want.” She bit her lip, a look of worry painted across her face, eyes glimmering with the tiniest spark of hopefulness.

“Oh no, really, it’s okay. I-I really don’t need one that badly,” I stammered out, suddenly nervous in front of the muscular beauty. Pull yourself together, Vanjie! I thought to myself, angry at how much of a mess I still was around Kameron.

“I mean, it’s the least I can do after all the pain that I have caused you lately. I know that you love to have a peanut butter chocolate protein shake in the morning. Please take it, Vanessa.” Kameron almost pleaded as she held her drink out to me, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

“Well if you really insist, then thank you. That means a lot.” I said, grabbing the drink, our hands touching for only a moment before I pulled back quickly.

“You know I-I really am sorry for everything that happened, Vanjie, and I miss you. I hope that maybe we can be friends one day. If that’s okay with you?” I could see the panic in Kameron’s eyes, how she was fighting against the urge to turn and run and never face me again. She must have really missed me.

Something inside of me suddenly shifted after seeing Kameron so beat up and heartbroken over the situation. I could tell that she really was trying to make amends for what had happened, and I couldn’t be mad at her anymore. Not after I’d realized that I missed her too. “Yeah. I’d like that. But I really do need to get to class now, so maybe text me later.”

“Yeah for sure, have a good class.” Kameron smiled, her eyes lighting up with a renewed joy. Maybe things would be okay after all.

“Thanks, have a good day and thanks again for the shake, I really need this.”

It didn’t take long before we became close again, but this time it was just in a very different way. We still fought all the time, and we’re very protective of each other. It became a tradition to buy each other peanut butter chocolate protein shakes to say ‘I’m sorry’.

“Hey! Kam!” Vanjie calls, jogging to catch up as Kameron walks up to the complex door. “Wait up! Here, I got you a shake.” the smaller girl says, handing over the styrofoam cup. “Sorry for being sure a bitch yesterday. I was just pressed over some stupid ass shit between me and Brooke and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Thanks,” Kameron grins, taking the cup, before linking her elbow with Vanjie’s. “It’s okay, I forgive you. Good thing I have lots of practice dealing with your dumb ass.” Kameron bumps Vanjie with her hip. “So want to talk about what happened between you and Brooke?”

#rpdr fanfiction #kamjie #kameron michaels #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #asia o'hara #madisonmateomichaels #lesbian au #smut #angst #fluff #tw: anxiety #be mine 2020 #day 1: chocolate #submission

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nevermindthewind · 5 years

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start your engines

since we know that jake and amy canonically watch drag race, ofc i had to write up some headcanons on the subject. mild spoilers for drag race.

· Rosa’s been watching drag race since season one. She loves her some good reality tv and when you combine that with fierce talent?? Obviously our girls into it.

· However, since this is rosa we’re talking about, no one at the nine nine knows about her new favorite show.

· That is, until jake invites her to drinks one night in 2012 and she responds without thinking.

“Sorry dude, can’t. Drag race is on tonight and I need to see if my girl sharon needles finally sends that bitch phi phi packing.”

Jake is shocked, natch. What is this show and, more importantly, who in their right mind would name their child sharon needles?! He tries to ask but rosa shoots him her signature Death Glare and he drops it.

· A couple years later he sees rosa and gina discussing something in the break room and he sees rosa get more animated and excited than he’s ever seen her. When he goes in to investigate he discovers it’s an argument...of sorts.

“Rosa, rosa, rosa. There is no way in hell dela deserved to go home over darienne. I mean, did you see darienne’s gown for the ball?! if you can even call it a gown. More like a flesh colored stretched out condom with a couple rhinestones attached.”

“No way. Dela showed the judges the same boring outfit we’ve seen every runway. I never got to know her. America’s next drag superstar can’t hide behind a character.”

“You would never see Floorgasm in an outfit like that, let alone the winner of drag race. Shudder.”

· Jake finally gets into the show the following season. When he’s in the midst of his amy funk and amy’s dating teddy rosa takes pity on the guy and invites him over for the season seven premiere. Rosa gives him a basic rundown of the show and tells him that he better ask his questions now because as soon as the episode starts all of her attention will be on the queen’s entrance looks.

· As soon as he watches the first lip sync for your life jake is hooked.

“You mean they do all those dance moves and splits in HEELS?”

“Yeah, dude. And i read that each runway takes hours and they’re on their feet the entire time. those queens are stronger than even terry.”

“I won’t tell him you said that.”

“Tell him if you want. I stand by it.”

· By episode 4 Jake’s got all the lingo down.

“TRIXIE got sent home?! No shade but her look was sickening compared to pearls. I am outraged rosa. Outraged.”

He’s subsequently gagged when trixie comes back.

· Jake’s obsessed with ginger minj and spends half of every episode telling rosa how they’d make the best of friends. Rosa has a crush on violet in and out of drag.

· When Jake and Amy start dating Jake (with Rosa’s permission, ofc) invites Amy to join drag race night.

· Amy doesn’t quite know what to make of it at first but she can appreciate the art form and all the work that goes into drag.

“Like, half the time I can’t even be bothered to put on lipstick, and yet here these guys -- girls? -- are spending hours on one look! And those dance moves. I mean...the way they just fall on the ground! But like, in a dancey way-- ”

“You mean death drops, babe?”

“Yeah those! AMAZING.”

· All three of them tear up during the chi chi and thorgy lip sync in season 8. And they absolutely LOSE IT when the beads fall to the ground.

· Amy yells “go OFF chi chi!” and that’s how rosa and jake know they have a drag race convert on their hands.

· thanks to bob jake starts entering the bull pen with his badge out in front of him saying “walk into the room badge first.”

· When Jake and Amy move in together they buy seasons 1-7 on Amazon prime so they can catch up and spend almost every day after work watching at least one episode.

Amy falls in love with shangela, raja, dida ritz, sharon needles, ivy winters, and bianca del rio and adore delano. Jake loves Bianca and adore and his other faves are manila luzon, raja, raven, willam, and courtney act. (Truth be told he just thinks Courtney is gorgeous in and out of drag. THOSE EYES. THOSE LEGS.)

· They both love latrice royale, le duh.

· Rosa loves alaska, and alyssa edwards. Gina is both a roxxy andrews and raven stan. among others, obvs.

· Oh god why do I feel like Gina would also love gia and laganja?

· drag race nights continue into seasons nine and ten.

· one night jake comments how of the three of them he’s carson, amy is ross Matthews, and rosa is michelle visage and now they can’t UNSEE IT.

· jake and Amy can often be found listening to rupaul songs or what’s the tea on their drives to work

· They talk along with ru all the time

“Good luck and don’t. fuck it up.”

“Gentlemen, start your engines. And may the best woman *arm up* WIN.”

“100,000 doll-ahs!!!!”

· AMY LOVES BLAIR ST CLAIR.

· every makeover episode jake spends the entire ep talking about how he’d be perfect for a drag makeover

“I mean I’d look sickening, ames!”

“You already do, babe.”

“d’awwww. But seriously, they should do a cop makeover so I can be on the show. I want my mug to be beat to FILTH.”

· One night after drag race they’re all drunk off the Absolut Drinks (#branddeals) they made for the show and rosa and Amy somehow convince Jake to let them give him a makeover (think jenna and julien)

Rosa contours his face for the gods while Amy gives him a perfect smokey eye.

In the words of miz cracker, “he’s a WOMAN.”

· Oh also Jake has a massive crush on Valentina, again in and out of drag (he’s got a thing for latinas, what did you expect?)

· FACTS ARE FACTS, AMERICA.

#my favorite thing is making super niche headcanons that no one else will care about but me and a handful of others #also how GREAT was the golden child?!#fic #my writing #peraltiago fic #jake x amy #peraltiago #drag race

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thecreepiestcarrie · 3 years

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Michelle Visage is gross and praising her while actively bullying Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman for playing the same mean judge character - that's racist henny.

Let us not forget that in a season 4 episode of Drag Race (Frock the Vote, aired 2012) she said in response to a character choice by one Phi Phi O'Hara. Michelle, born in New Jersey and a white woman, thought it was okay to say:

I am clearly all about political incorrectness [...] That joke came across as offensive. And being a black woman, I got a little offended.

Everyone laughed. And made it okay for her to say this, while sitting alongside a black man and sitting in front of two black performers. She thought it was okay to say this on TV. The editor who put that clip in also thought it was okay to say.

That isn't her being an ally. That is fucked up and everyone let her get away with it.

But JBC comes for your fave (don't get it twisted cunts, I've been obsessed with Jimbo from the jump) and this is enough for him to be burnt at the stake and literally run off of social media. Make it make sense. This is some racist bullshit.

Violet Chachki put it best when she said it

Ew, Michelle. 🤮

Anyway, go watch Spiral starring JBC on Shudder - it's a fanfuckingtastic horror movie that rings true to the queer experience.

#rupauls drag race #rpdr #i said i felt #jeffrey bowyer chapman #jbc #michelle visage saying questionable things #the drag race fandom is racist #do better hunties #how you say ~problematique~

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sodomyordeath · 4 years

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Queen of Drags

Finally the post many of you asked for since the show went into heavy promotion.

This is going to be long. To keep this from being too boring I decided to publish it in form of an ongoing conversation between myself and the one and only Chiara.

Me: So let’s start with the cast and the jury.

Chi: On the jury side we have Conchita Wurst.

Me: Guess we have to disclaimer this?

Chi: She’s our friend, She knows and loves Drag and is a talented and amazing performer. So disclaimer done.

Me: Next we have Bill Kaulitz.

Chi: Wasn’t he in some kinda child band?

Me: Yep Tokio Hotel, they are still around. he was also a judge on an music casting show back in the early 2010s.

Chi: Garbage music[1]?

Me: “Deutschland sucht den Superstar”. So nothing you or I would call music.

Chi: Right. Garbage music.

Me: And we have guest judges.

Chi: One per show right?

Me: Yea even in the final episode. They use a point system. Each of the for judges awards points. The highest number per episode is the number of contestants left.

Chi: The lowest is one or 0?

Me: Normal people start with one.

Chi: So decimal system than?

Me: Smartass.

Chi: I am smart and I have an amazing ass.

Me: No arguing with that.

Chi: So who are the guest judges?

Me: In order of appearance: Olivia Jones, Amanda Lepore, Leona Lewis, Pabllo Vittar, La Toya Jacksona and for the final Laganja Estranja

Chi: So 4 judges that know there shit and 2 professional singers. That’s a lot better than a typical Drag Race season.

Me: Yes and they actually do matter due to the point system they used.

Chi: So what do you expect from our 3 permanent judges?

Me: Obviously the best insights will come from Conchita and some of the guests. Bill will focus on overall performance aspects, stage placement, lip-sync etc. and Heidi... well looks and she brings the “girl at the drag bar” perspective.

Chi: Well we cheated here didn’t we?

Me: Yes because that was how it played out and Conchita felt like kind of the head judge the entire season but what we expected because of the pre show PR was Heidi dominating the show and giving us her model casting show 2.0.

Chi: Did Pro 7 fuck it up with the trailer where they framed Heidi as the head judge?

Me: Well at this point in time I don’t think they tried to provoke the backlash they got. They just tried to frame the show in a way so there usual audience sees someone they are familiar with.

Chi: So you don’t think the baited the queer community and press into a push back just to get the buzz going?

Me: You mean a PR campaign that would exploit a marginalized community to sell a commodity? That would by cynical!

Chi: ...

Me: Moving on. Let’s talk about the artists.

Chi: I honestly didn’t know much about any of ‘em.

Me: Not even your “home girl”?

Chi: Do I have to remind you that I’m from Zurich and Hayden Kryze is from Bern? Plus I wasn’t in Switzerland for an awful lot of time in the last 2 years.

Me: Right and she's rather young isn’t she?

Chi: 20

Chi: Speaking of age Catherrine Leclery is the oldest cast member with 48 and seems to be the one who’s in the business the longest, Hayden is the youngest.

Me: Hmm, what I noticed is that anyone but Catherrine is under 35.

Chi: I feel old now.

Me: I knew about the 3 Berlin girls but never worked with any of ‘em.

Chi: That’s Bambi Mercury a bearded queen not related to our friend Bambie the high priestess of gore. Candy Crash a funny bitch who paints her face on youtube and the “infamous” Katy Bähm.

Me: You know Candy had me when she renamed Katy into “Käthe Baum”

Chi: *lough crying* me to bitch!

Me: But really Candy is a miracle she managed to age 5 years since she was in a documentary in 2018

Chi: *sings* Forever Young, I want to be... forever..

Me: Still I like her and people I know, who worked with her, like her.

Chi: Too bad she doesn’t make wigs...

Me: *spills drink* *side eyes Chiara*

Me: Looks like we both are not turning into Käthe Baum fans any time soon.

Chi: I learned a saying from the southern United States “Bless her heart”

Me: Moving on. Janisha Jones.

Chi: We didn’t know her before the show

Me: But our good friend Ephe Drine knows her and as a Munich queen with spanish roots (like Ephe) she’s somewhat of my “home girl”.

Chi: We did run into her however and she’s a lovely person,an true artist by heart and a way better drag performer than it came across on the show.

Me: She sadly was the first one that went home but if you get a chance to see her. Do it. She doesn’t disappoint.

Chi: Next up is Samantha Gold.

Me: Oh yea our full figured Bar Queen from Hamburg with Austrian roots.

Chi: Old school drag. She was the second one out.

Me: She did sing live on episode one and her performance was...

Chi: ...not as strong as we would have expected from someone who does that for a living.

Me: Moving on.

Chi: Now my “home girl” Hayden Kryze.

Me: She’s young.

Chi: She sure has talent but it felt...

Me: Aimless and her performances where sloppy

Chi: Unpolished. She sure can move and the whole “I can be a manly man but also a hot drag queen” segment was...

Me: She’s young

Chi: Speaking of young Aria Addams.

Me: Not related to my drag daughter Wendy Addams

Chi: That we know of. I mean age wise she could be hers.

Me: And they sure have the same fire and undeniable talent.

Chi: She was the big one for me. She grew episode to episode was never afraid to try something new and wasn’t annoying. I’d love to work with her at some point.

Me: Speaking of people one wants to work with, Vava Vide.

Chi: I had no idea that there even was a drag scene in Stuttgart.

Me: There were 3 standouts in the cast when it comes to drag as visual performative art form, Vava Vide, Bambi Mercury and, to a lesser degree, Aria Addams.

Chi: I do agree but I would also include Janisha. Alas her time on the show was too short for her to really show it.

Me: We are missing one.

Chi: You clearly had a nap under the shade tree my love. You forgot Yoncé Banks, the first Queen of Drags.

Me: Oh you are right but I really forgot about her because, and that’s just me, her kind of pretty girl drag packaged with rather limited dance performances and the most questionable tuck since Jade Sotomayor on Drag Race season one is very very boring to me.

Chi: You never tuck.

Me: I don't do pretty girl drag so I don't have to.

Chi: ...

Me: Come on it’s not only the tuck it’s the fact that her tucker underwear was clearly visible ever single episode. Make sure that your stage outfits do fit kids.

Chi: So you don't agree with her winning?

Me: Well, and that once again is just me, she’s a one trick pony that never stepped out of her comfort zone in any meaningful way and she should have gone home for her Horror/Halloween performance.

Chi: You sound like Michelle Visage.

Me: Oh my dark lord you are right.

Chi: lol

Me: Anyway I would have loved to see Aria Addams win because from the top 3 she has the most potential and showed the most growth.

Chi: I have to admit for all the lip service production was paying to Drag as an art form during the season and even when the sent the other “pretty girl” Katy Bähm home over Bambi Mercury I had hope. Handing the win to the rather conventional Yoncé Banks felt like a let down.

Me: That’s what I’m saying. It felt like “We want a mainstream compatible winner for our sponsors.” and the medical problems Aria had sure helped create the perfect pretext to do just that.

Chi: My background is in marketing and the cynical voice in my head does agree with you but do we really want to know?

Me: Does it actually matter in the end? I think not. This show sure had it shortcomings but it managed to do 2 things. First it felt a lot more relaxed and “real” than Drag Race ever did. I loved it when they all went out partying. Second to give the German public an idea of how wide contemporary drag as an art form is.

Chi: On the competition side I liked the point system they used. I loved Conchita who was an amazing head judge and all the guests did really really well. Amanda Lepore is in deed one of the sweetest humans alive and Laganja Estranja is a grown up now.

Me: And she single-handedly gave a masterclass in how a dance focused Drag performance looks in 2019.

Me: There was a little too much crying for me and we never got into any depth about the problems we as a queer people face. Only this snippets with the “same old same, old” mainstream media always pulls when they talk about us.

Chi: That’s a narrative problem in wider media and the editing sure felt exploitative in some parts. Especially you as a long time activist pick up on such things almost intuitively.

Me: Yes it felt a little odd that Katy’s sob story had more screen time than real activists like Vava got and I absolutely loved it that Bambi refused to part take in the trauma navel gazing.

Chi: Oh yes Bambi had a couple of power moves in this season and I love the fact that she had the trans flag on stage with her in her opening performance.

Chi: Any last words?

Me: Aria Addams should have won the title. Candy Crush should have stayed longer and the top 3 should have been Aria Addams, Vava Vide & Bambi Mercury because I greatly enjoyed what they brought to the table.

Chi: I’m not mad that Yoncé Banks won but I’m underwhelmed by it. I want to put the focus a little on Catherrine Leclery[2]. She was never afraid to try something new and turning her Fairytale performance into a political statement about the rights of Indigenous people to a fucking Disney musical song was very very smart.

Me: Over all where do we stand?

Chi: Better than expected. The artistry was there the talent was there the presentation was fine for the most part. Going clubbing and having that spa night made this show more real and honest than all seasons of Drag Race combined.

Me: They did have a budget for the show and they used it well. For the future I hope they can get rid of some of this tired reality TV tropes like this fake and over exaggerated conflicts and keeping around contestants because they are a source of drama. I want to see the performances in full not this snippets that look like they’ve been edited by an hyperactive 10 year old who got his hands on 6 cans of red bull. Season 2 will show if it will evolve or turn into the usual shit show that passes as tv entertainment these days.

Chi: I fully agree.

Me: Congratulations to Yoncé Banks for being the first “Queen of Drags”

Chi: Congrats!

Picture: Martin Ehleben / ProSieben

Instructions: To get our voices right read her lines with a Swiss accent and mine with a Bavarian one.

Note: The content of the post is edited together from conversations Chiara and I had over the last couple of weeks since the Show started airing. I translated and rephrased when needed so she ends up sounding a bit like me at some points. I’m sorry about that.

[1] For those of you reading this and are not in the know we both are multi instrumentalists and vocalists with a spectrum from delta blues & early jazz all the way to technical death metal and post industrial

[2] She hails from Brazil with black and Indigenous roots

#queen of drags #reality tv #competition #casting show #germany #drag #pro 7 #2010s #2019 #conchita wurst #bill kaulitz #heidi klum

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Listen To Your Body Tonight (Biadore) - Tanawrites

Summary - (belatedly) written for the Summer Lovin’ challenge for the prompt ice cream. Roy is always there when Danny needs him to be.

A/N - This is a super late contribution to the challenge but I’ve had it half-written for about a month now and I finally finished it! tw for mentions of depression and one brief mention of an eating disorder at the very end of the fic.

CC: @writethehousedown

The first thing Danny noticed when Adore finally won over Bianca and they truly became friends, was that Roy was fiercely loyal. It later translated into protective - both of Roy himself and the small selection of people who were close to him. It was an endless comfort for Danny to know he had a friend who was so unwaveringly in his corner.

It had never felt stifling, never that Roy crossed the boundary into possessive rather than protective. Just that he had someone, even in the moments when Danny didn’t think he needed anybody.

When Danny left All Stars, he didn’t call Roy. There was a whole track record that logically told Danny that Roy would understand, would be on his side and that Bianca had told off enough of their fellow queens that spoke down to Adore to know that Michelle Visage would be no exception to the onslaught of hate as well. Despite that, a voice in his head told him that Roy would be disappointed. That the few weeks they’d spent preparing, the money Roy had generously poured into making custom designs for Adore without a thought of Danny paying him back, it was for nothing. He was forever grateful that his mom had known better and called Roy, who held him and without knowing any of the rest of the story, told him just how much he belonged and didn’t stop until Danny believed it too.

It was like that all the time for them. One of them needed the other and they were there, no questions asked.

This time though, they hadn’t spoken in a while. Longer than they usually went without talking but they’d both been busy, rarely in the same city when they happened to be in the same country. Their groupchat had died down, only used for big occasions like holidays or birthdays rather than the constant chatter it once was. Despite this, Danny knew he could call Roy. That even across the globe Roy had woken up in the middle of the night or answered his call during the intermission to talk him down.

It was a stubbornness that stopped him though. Knowing that he should be able to deal with this himself, to pull himself out of the rut he was in. So he secluded himself, from his roommates, his friends, his family. Instead of finding comfort in the warm body of one of his fans at a show or at the bottom of an empty glass, he locked himself away from the world.

Roy thanked his driver and got out the car, slinging the bag he’d packed in a hurry over his shoulder. It was a familiar front door he rapped his knuckles against, despite how many times he’d been told to let himself in.

His chest clenched in a way it only did for someone who he truly cared about when the door opened and there stood Danny’s mom. Bonnie looked tired. For a woman who usually had personality and warmth oozing out of her, it pained Roy to see her like this.

“Thank you for coming, I’m so sorry to call you like I did. God Bianca, I just didn’t know what to do-“

“Hey, stop. It’s good to see you.”

Roy hushed the woman politely but firmly. He stepped forward for their usual greeting hug and let Bonnie pull him inside once they drew away.

“You know you can always call. He knows he can too.”

“He won’t talk at all. He just came home and said he needed to be alone for a while.”

Bonnie shook her head as they came to a stop in the kitchen, their voices hushed as they came closer to the hallway. The same hallway Roy was practically aching to rush down and into a familiar bedroom. He knew he had to hear Bonnie out first, to get whatever information he could so he knew what to do to help.

Danny needed him.

It wasn’t the first time Bonnie had called Bianca and it certainly wasn’t the first time Danny had tried to hide the fact that he was struggling by hiding out in his childhood bedroom and avoiding the outside world.

It always broke Roy’s heart to see Bonnie like this no matter how many times he’d seen it, the love between mother and son so strong to anyone who met them. What was important was that Bonnie knew that Danny didn’t mean to shut her out. The same way he didn’t mean to shut Roy out. He was hurting and didn’t know how to cope with it, so he didn’t. Roy knew to be grateful though that healing now took place in the safety of his Azusa family home rather than an alley behind a club or a dirty bathroom like it had so many times when they were on tour.

“I wish his problems were still simple enough that it was solved with a tub of ice cream.”

Roy let his hand reach across to rest on top of Bonnie’s as she reminisced, waiting until she squeezed back.

“He mentioned you the first day he got back, that you were home from tour. I offered to call you then but he said he just needed a few days.”

“But it’s been more than a few days now. It’s ok, Bonnie. I’m glad you called.”

“I’ll give you guys a few hours, I have to go to run a few errands but…I haven’t wanted to leave him home alone.”

It was with a heavy heart that Roy nodded, knowing many years ago he had promised Bonnie to take care of Danny and that she still trusted him with that.

With that he watched as Bonnie let herself out and took a steadying breath, braced against the kitchen bench. Roy would always be there when Danny needed him. Even if Bonnie had called and he was on the other side of the world, he would have figured something out. It was hard though, seeing someone he loved so much in pieces.

Roy didn’t want to waste anymore time, not when he didn’t know what to expect behind the bedroom door at the end of the hallway, so he tightened his grip on the strap of his bag and walked the short distance to come to a stop at Danny’s room.

He knocked once on the door before pushing it open.

“Adore?”

As expected, the room was pitch black except for the light streaming in from the hallway where he was standing in the doorway. Danny’s head didn’t lift from the pillow but as Roy pushed further into the room and heard the heavy sigh that answered him, he knew Danny was awake.

“I missed you too, bitch.”

Roy’s lips curled into a small smile as he heard the responding grunt from Danny. He closed the door behind him again and cautiously moved forward, blindly feeling around until he could flick the lamp on beside the bed. Once the room was dim and he could see the outline of Danny under all the covers, he let his bag fall to the ground and he perched on the edge of the bed.

“Let me see your face, it’s been too long and you don’t post enough pictures.”

“Just because you don’t know how to use your phone, grandpa.”

Not expecting the quip back, Roy scoffed but underneath it was a resounding sense of relief. He usually took longer to feel out the situation before pushing Danny. If there was something he prided himself on, it was being a somewhat expert on Danny - both emotionally and physically. It could be magnetic between them sometimes, knowing exactly when they needed the warmth of touch or the intimacy of a hushed conversation meant only for the other’s ears.

Despite the joke, Roy could hear the guttural tone in Danny’s voice and the underlying exhaustion and emotion under it. He was reminded of why he was here and that Danny was struggling.

It only took a gentle coax to get Danny to roll over, Roy reaching to brush some hair out of his eyes. He stopped the motion when Danny pushed his cheek further into his palm though, instead simply resting there as he took in the circles under Danny’s eyes, the hollowness of his cheeks.

“There you are.”

A humourless laugh was the start of Danny beginning to crack and Roy was ready to catch him. He was about to say something, to comment on the self-deprecating laugh that was usually his own forte but Danny spoke first.

“This is so stupid…so dumb. I don’t even know what’s wrong I just-”

It was a sob that cut Danny off this time and Roy was there to meet him when Danny leaned forward, falling into a messy embrace.

“Do you ever get sick of always putting me back together?”

Roy was in the middle of untangling the matted mess that Danny’s long hair had succumbed to after a few weeks without brushing it when Danny broke the comfortable silence they had fallen into.

It had taken a long time for Danny’s tears to slow, Roy patient and tender with steady hands holding Danny close. They had talked as well, as much as Danny could through getting worked up again. Nothing could be fixed with a single conversation but it was a starting point for Danny to arrange his thoughts. Roy’s next task was helping him feel better physically, recognising the all too familiar signs of Danny not taking care of himself.

“Do you get sick of doing it for me?”

Despite being taken off guard by the question, Roy didn’t hesitate in answering it with a question of his own.

It was something that had only come up once in all their years of friendship, in a much different situation than where they were now. It was almost a hazy memory of Bianca supporting almost the full weight of Adore on their way back to the hotel room, Adore more inebriated than Bianca had seen yet and worse than that, sobbing. Loud, guttural sobs that racked Adore’s whole frame and gasping between them why Bianca did this for her. Why Bianca would clean her up, stumble them both into the shower and stroked Adore’s hair while she was slouched over. Why Bianca would open her door at any hour. Why Bianca didn’t ask for any explanation the next morning about what or who Adore was doing or even why.

“What? I’ve…no, you’re never like this.”

Roy shook his head, letting the hairbrush rest against his thigh and waiting until Danny turned to face him.

“No, I’m not,” Roy agreed. “But you’re the reason I try to be home for holidays. You’re the one I call when I can’t fall asleep in a hotel room or the one who comes over when I’ve been away too long and can’t fall asleep in my own bed. You remind me that I’m still human and that Bianca and working isn’t always everything.”

Danny seemed to be mulling it over, Roy could practically hear the argument he was having in his own head. The voice of reason and the other voice, the one that tore Danny down and dragged him into this dark place to begin with. This is what he was here for, to be a steady foundation for Danny to lean on.

Danny had always been a disaster just waiting to happen, eyes that had seen too many bad mistakes and heart strained from all the burdens too heavy to carry. He was entirely too much and wanted for more than he could handle. But Danny would never have to beg Roy to love him. Not ever. Roy was already there. Willing and offering up anything he had to give, love at the very top of the list.

“I mean it. We take care of each other, it doesn’t have to be in the same way.”

Danny softened after hearing that, giving Roy a nod to show he agreed. Danny wasn’t always the best with words in moments like this, his thoughts getting lost in the commute from his brain to his lips and never coming out as articulate as he meant them but the way Danny looked at him sometimes, was everything Roy needed to understand.

Roy had coaxed Danny into taking a shower and done a customary tidy of the bedroom, changed the sheets and remade the bed. Danny looked embarrassed when he came back to see Roy straightening the pillows with new covers but Roy was quick to shake his head.

“Remember when I got so drunk that one Christmas Eve and tried to sleep in the dogs playpen?”

Danny faltered for a moment but as the memory came back to him, a grin slowly spread across his lips.

“And you had to wash both the dog beds, my bed sheets and we both ended up sleeping on the couch with a throw blanket?”

Another nod and Roy knew he didn’t have to continue anymore, that his point was made. They’d been friends for years and the thing about touring together, about spending as much time as they could together between their own tours once their careers took off, was that they’d already seen each other’s worst. Then when they discovered there was an even worse worst, they dealt with that too.

He never minded having to remind Danny of this - that no one was keeping score and that putting the pieces back together always worked better with two instead of one. It was a vulnerable place to be, baring all the times Roy had been at his low points to assure Danny that he was no less for his own but that was the difference for them. Vulnerable didn’t ever mean weak.

“Come on, I have an idea.”

Half an hour later, Roy had them both set up on the couch in the front room. The TV was playing some trashy, mindless reality show that he knew Danny loved and they were bundled in amongst cushions and a throw blanket over both their laps. He’d been fussy around, adjusting the cushions and was about to head back into Danny’s bedroom to grab another blanket when Danny grabbed his hand.

“Will you just sit down, willow?”

Roy didn’t know if it was the nickname or the firm, caring reprimand that was clearly a call for him to relax but he sat down. He let Danny tuck comfortably into his side, a hand coming up to run through the long strands of Danny’s hair and exhaled. Things weren’t perfect but Danny would be ok and Roy felt like he could breathe again.

When the front door opened a few episodes in, the calm air that had settled around them trembled as Bonnie came into view with a grocery bag in each hand.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

Danny’s voice was small but rang volumes with how thick with guilt it was. Bonnie’s concern seemed to lessen somehow, recognising the truth in the statement and more importantly, her son again.

Roy felt like he was intruding on a private moment when Bonnie sat on Danny’s other side and pulled him into a tight hug. He was just pulling back to stand up to leave the room discreetly when he felt a tug on his shirt and Bonnie was pulling him in as well.

She was laughing as she pulled away, fanning at her eyes that were shining with a thin layer of tears that mirrored Danny’s.

“You always come back eventually.”

She patted Danny’s cheek and mouthed a silent thank you to Roy as she took her groceries to the kitchen and took what Roy assumed was a quiet moment to herself, waving off both his and Danny’s offer to help her.

Roy knew exactly why a few minutes later when Bonnie returned with two pints of ice cream and spoons clasped in her hand, a reserved expression on her face.

“I thought you two could use some ice cream.”

He could hear the refusal Danny’s brain was already conducting, the extra weight Danny was now carrying around his hips was something they had discussed earlier that was adding to the burden that had dug Danny into this hole.

“That sounds great, Bonnie. But I can never finish a full pint, me and Dan will share one.”

Danny glanced back at him and Roy returned the questioning look with a smile as he shifted over on the couch, leaving enough room for Bonnie to properly sit next to Danny.

“You’re going to have to catch your mom up though, I haven’t been really watching.”

Danny hitting him with a cushion in response was expected but soon they were all settled. Roy and Danny were alternating spoonfuls of ice cream and Bonnie was running a commentary that had Roy almost in hysterical chuckles, it was like a weight lifted off all of their shoulders.

Nothing was fixed but a pint of ice cream on the couch with his best friend and his mom was helping more than Danny thought it ever could.

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #biadore #angst #hurt/comfort #canon compliant #tanawrites #tw eating disorder #tw depression #concrit welcome #wthd challenge

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grandmascottlang · 6 years

Text

Il Avait les Mots (Peter Parker X Reader)

Hey, guys! I know that I’ve been on a writing hiatus for a while, but I did want to write this story after the idea popped into my head. I did write this during my Tumblr hiatus (because I knew that I’d be back a few days after I had written this). After all of the stuff that been happening to me over the past few weeks, I really just needed to sit down and write some angst to get all of my feelings out. I wanted to base this story more on the friendships behind the relationship, just so you know. This story is loosely based on the French song “Il avait les mots” by Sheryfa Luna. I hope that you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

Translation: Il avait les mots → He used to have the words

Summary: Peter breaks up with [Name] and her friends comfort her while she’s feeling down.

Warnings: Angst, language, not eating, more focused on friendships than a relationship, texting

Words: 1.5k+

[Name] remembered it being a Wednesday in her favorite month.

“I’m sorry, [Name], but I can’t do this anymore. I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me.”

Peter walked away with a frown on his face, clearly not happy with what he felt was right to do. He broke up with his girlfriend, [Name], after three long years.

Peter had gotten his powers a year earlier and decided that he didn’t want anyone to hurt [Name] because of who he was (if anyone found out his identity). He really didn’t want it to come to this, but he had to do it.

[Name] was left there with no one there to comfort her in the middle of the hallway. She wasn’t given a very definitive reason as to why Peter wanted to break up. She had to assume. And she assumed the worst.

It was the middle of the day and she still had to make it through the day. [Name] ran to her locker and opened it, immediately ripping the photo of Peter and her off of the door. She looked down at the photo.

It was a selfie taken by Peter of him with a big grin on his face while [Name] gave him a kiss on the cheek. [Name] smiled briefly at the memory before tears ran down her face and fell onto the photo, displacing the ink. She chuckled softly, taking a deep breath before taking the photo in both of her hands and ripping it into tiny pieces. She couldn’t stand looking at the photo for any longer and just dropped the pieces on the ground beneath her.

Peter felt awful, bile rising in his stomach as he thought about what he had done. He wanted to do more than apologize but he couldn’t. He wasn’t hers anymore and she wasn’t his.

He thought that he might see her at her lock and be able to give her a better reason as to why he broke up with her, but when he saw her, the damage had already been done. [Name] was quietly crying to herself and dropped some pieces of paper to the floor. She then walked away.

Peter had a feeling that he knew what it was, but he needed to make sure. He walked to pick up the pieces and saw the ripped photo.

Tears rose in his eyes. “I made a big mistake,” he muttered under his breath, shakily as he cried. He knew that he wasn’t going to be a part of her life for any longer.

The outlines of tears were etched onto [Name]’s face as she went to go look for her friends during lunch. She saw Liz and MJ sitting together, Ned and Peter nowhere in sight. She took a sigh of relief.

She grabbed her lunch and sat down next to her friends. “Hey, guys.”

Liz was the first to look at her. [Name]’s eyes were red and bloodshot with tears threatening to escape the corners of her eyes. She noticed that [Name] had been crying earlier by the white outlines of dried tears sitting on top of her face. There was not a day where [Name] didn’t have a smile on her face, but today, a frown was on her visage.

“Oh my god, [Name], are you okay?” Liz asked with Michelle turning her head immediately after hearing Liz’s question.

“What happened?”

“Peter broke up with me.”

“Hey! Fries before guys, remember?” MJ said, trying to cheer [Name] up.

She chuckled before letting her tears fall into her food. She wasn’t feeling all to hungry anyways.

“You’re right. Guys suck anyways.”

The bell rang to go back to class and [Name] sadly smiled at her friends before walking away.

“I’m going to go kick that boy’s ass.” Michelle gritted her teeth and clenched her fists as she walked to class with Liz.

[Name], I’m so, so sorry for what I did to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I had to do it-

Peter began to type out what he wanted to say before deleting it. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Don’t know how to do what?” May questioned him as she walked into his room. “Oh, and by the way, is [Name] coming over today? We could go get some Thai?”

Tears began welling up in his eyes again. “I don’t think that [Name] is going to come over anymore, May.”

Guys, he just texted me. I don’t know what to do. -[Name]

Oooh, what’d he say? -MJ

MJ… -Liz

Right, sry, Liz. -MJ

[Name] sent a screenshot of the text that Peter had sent to her.

[Name], I am so sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you, and I realized that too late. I wish that I could have said all of the things in my mind, why I needed to do it, but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why and it’s really all my fault. I know that you’ll never be able to forgive me, but just know that I still care about you. I always have and always will. I’m sorry, [Name]. -Peter

After reading the text a million times to find a rhyme or reason, she couldn’t figure it out. And that’s what made her resentful and sad. [Name] questioned herself, “What did I do wrong?”

Omfg -MJ

He actually sent that? -MJ

And he still hasn’t told you why? -Liz

You don’t deserve that bullshit, [Name]. You deserve everything the world has to offer and then some. -MJ

Truth is he doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone who returns your love, loyalty, and dedication. He was always “running” off somewhere and you definitely don’t need someone like that in your life. -Liz

Thank you so much, guys. For, you know, helping me through this. -[Name]

I think that it’s better if you let it out the best you can. I’ll always be here for you, [Name]. Through thick and thin, it’s not a problem. -Liz

It’s unfair that you have to go through this. So, hell yeah, we’re going to be here to lean on when you need some friends 😊 -MJ

A small smile found its way to [Name]'s face when she read the messages from her friends. She really did have the best of friends.

[Name] hadn’t slept or had a bite to eat since the breakup. The smell of food made her feel sick to her stomach and she couldn’t sleep with thoughts of Peter roaming around in her mind.

To keep herself occupied from not being able to sleep, she went through the pictures on her phone, but anytime there was one of Peter and her, she broke down. She was unconsciously torturing herself by looking at pictures of her and Peter together. She didn’t know that she would cry just seeing his smiling face next to her.

It was hard enough to get out of bed in the morning. She stayed in bed, feigning sickness to her parents. She didn’t go to school that day…

She got a text immediately when first period started.

Where tf are you? -MJ

I’m sick -[Name]

Oh, not you’re not, you’re letting that boy take over your emotions -MJ

[Name] began to write her a message back, but she couldn’t figure out the right words.

Alright, I have second period off, I’m coming over to your house with chocolate, ice cream, and whatever else you want, but you’re not going to stay in bed all day thinking of someone who treated you like shit. -MJ

[Name] sighed, maybe she should’ve just went to school.

“I know, Michelle! It’s just that he used to call me—”

“[Name], he used to call you sweetheart and baby. It doesn’t matter anymore. He used to have the words.”

“You’re right, I need to get over him.” [Name] ran her fingers through her hair, trying to collect her thoughts. “He did. I don’t need him anymore. I deserve better.”

Michelle put a small smile on her face. “Now that’s the spirit! Here, eat this.” She handed the other girl one of her favorite candy bars.

[Name] took the candy bar and ripped off the wrapper. She lifted it to her mouth and she caught a whiff of it. “I can’t eat this, MJ. I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“You haven’t eaten anything, have you?”

[Name] held her head down, disappointed in herself. “I just can’t eat anything right now. I’m sorry.”

“Just promise me that you’ll eat something soon, okay?”

[Name] did eventually eat, it took her about a week or so to get back to where she was eating full meals and about a month before she was laughing and smiling again. It was a hard break up, but there was nothing that she could do about it.

Thanks to her friends, she began to feel like herself again. And she realized that she doesn’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Of course, she’ll always have love Peter and wish him the best, but they weren’t friends anymore.

Peter realized that his mistake too late. He had brought a card and a bouquet of her favorite flowers. As he walked up to [Name]’s locker, [Name] had someone else with her: her new significant other. He really did have the words, but she didn’t need them anymore. Or him.

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