2022.05.05

sometimes your words feel like the backdrop to my sins. are you my conscience or just another loud anxious voice in the crowd? all those voices sound like you, and your meaningless taunts. meaningless. like always, i hike up my sleeves. i'm no longer scared to ignore you.

living in an abusive household, trying to be a studious person, not wanting to be a mean aunt, being an older sibling. it's really really difficult to focus and drown out all the excesses in your head. it's hard to center your brain on what you need to do for yourself and your future and it's hardest to find motivation to work. i'm doing my best. my best is good enough. maybe if i repeat it enough, i will believe it. thank you to everyone for your support in my endeavors and my bullet journal work! 💞

sorry it was a bit messy lol~ this week's theme is BLUE so yeaa~ subscribe to my channel if you haven't! link in bio good night everyone! #bujo #messybujo #bulletjournal #planner #messyplanner #simple #blue #themeblue #bulletjournaling #simplebujo #bujoinspiration #bujoinspo #bujogram #beginner https://www.instagram.com/p/B-FOsoPnQKr/?igshid=12xrai8vismku

My goal for April is to actually get enough sleep every day! So far, so good, I think 🧐 ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ Tags: #studygram #studyspace #studygrammer #smallstudygram #newstudygram #personal #mine #jennastudiesgram #messy #messybujo #notperfect #proudanyway #bulletjouraladdict #bujo #bulletjournal #bulletjouraladdict #newbujo #newbulletjournal #bujoaddicts #papermate #inkjoy #inkjoygelpens #studytips #study #studying #studytips #smallstudygram #newstudygram #personal #mine #habittracker #handlettering #march #april2019 #studywithjenna #sleeptracker #sleep #mildliners #mildliner #aprilgoals #2019 (at Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwVkpqcBCOf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8whf0jwrcqkv

More trial and error with the weekly layout. I still feel like the area for my daily appointments and reminders are too small. But I have a new idea for next week that might work a little better. Quote of the week: "you cannot find peace by avoiding life." Virginia Woolf #bujo #bulletjournal #bujojunkies #bujojunkies #bujoweeklyspread #bujoweekly #personal #tombowdualbrushpens #micropens #ektoolspens #journaling #moleskine #littleblackbook #messybujo (at Piscataway, New Jersey)

Yes, that's two Mondays at the top of my May calendar. This account is for my handwriting practice and my various journal and planning adventures, particularly in my bujo. In particular I'll be highlighting my humorous mistakes. Anyone that wants to submit their mistakes in either area can do so as well by DM. I am open to submissions. So check it our, @messybujo.

#bulletjournal woes, I'm going to be starting over again, because #gelpens are beautiful but obnoxious. Or at the very least very inconsistent. Some (pastels, metallic and plain) are mostly fine if you are very careful to not smudge, glittery ones are bleeding, smudgy messes that get everywhere. So I'm switching to fineliners, only using gels for accents. Soon I'll be ordering a big selection of colors and getting a new journal. For now this one is good for practice and plotting ideas, but until the new stuff arrives I'm not going to be posting a ton of #bujo stuff. Fun fact, did you know you can use gel pens to make plain felt bindis sparkly? I just discovered that today! #bujoaddict #gelpenproblems #smudging #smearedink #messybujo #ocdtrigger #notasplanned #journalpage #journaling

2022.05.07 - 05.08

i count the days waiting for the other shoe to drop. my stomach sinks anytime i put myself out there. my veins filled with the cold chill of anxiety, fear, and worry. i'm scared everything will collapse. i'm scared that the lie i've been living will be found out. i'm scared of losing you because my honesty is a sin wrapped in years if lies and mistakes. freedom...

a lot of days i feel like i take one step forward and 2 steps back. i want to be more honest, i want to grow. i hope i am doing enough.

in other news, i didn't do as good as i hoped on the PT but it was much MUCH better than i expected so yay!!! 3 PTs until d-day 😔

spring!!!! i miss you. midterms are taking all my health out ㅠㅠ

This week is really busy, but by some miracle I got some down time, so I did a little planning in my bujo I was also able to order some new goodies, so hopefully I'm able to start making some process videos and really turn the ideas I have for a YouTube channel into reality 🤞 (stay tuned for updates!) This week has started out well, and if things continue on this path, they'll just get better and better! ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ Tags: #studygrammer #studyspace #studygram #study #studying #studytips #smallstudygram #newstudygram #stationaryaddict #studyblr #study #futurelawyer #mine #messybujo #notperfect #proudanyway #bulletjouraladdict #bujo #bulletjournal #bujoideas #bujoinspiration #bujofebruary #mine #personal #washi #washitape #goldwashi #goldwashitape #muji #mujipens #jennastudiesgram #jennasbujo #jennastudies #studywithjenna #startingayoutube #staytuned (at Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuCvHcwB8q3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=e2q2fmhd603

This week is another busy week, but I took the little bit of down time I found today to work on my bujo a bit I think I've found a weekly spread that works well for me, and next month I might try to add more color/pictures to my stuff! I also had the chance to order some new materials that should make it easy to start posting process videos so look out for those in the near future 😬 ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ Tags: #studygram #studyspace #studygrammer #smallstudygram #stationary #bujo #bulletjournal #bulletjouraladdict #newbujo #newbulletjournal #messybujo #notperfect #proud #newstudygram #bujofebruary #weeklyspread #muji #messy #mine #productivity #newtothis #bujoideas #bujoinspiration #washitape #washi #goldwashitape #goldwashi #process #videoscomingsoon #jennastudiesgram #jennasbujo #studywithjenna (at Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuCscp8h6n2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=buigqch0zbyf

bts went to the grammys and its all im going to think about for the next month and a half! this week is midterms prep, im not ready but i think this spread might help keep me going! 💕

the semester just started but im already messy and all over the placeㅠㅠ i miss break. magic shop was crazy yesterday and lots of fun so im glad i went through with it even though i have lots of studying to catch up on now. im set to follow through personal goals, though, and its nice (,:

My March monthly layout includes an Irish proverb, "your feet will bring you where your heart is." #bujo #personal #bulletjournal #bulletjournaling #bulletjournaljunkies #monthlyspread #goals #calendar #marchbujo #bujomonthly #bujojunkies #bujoinspire #moleskine #journaling #messybujo (at Dunellen, New Jersey)

My bullet journal is simple this week. I like the idea of one weekly to do list and layout. The quote, “it is not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” Henry David Thoreau. #bulletjournal #bulletjournaling #bulletjournalweekly #bulletjournaljunkie #bujo #bujoweeklyspread #bujojunkies #bujoweekly #tombowdualbrushpens #lepen #micronpen #messybujo #simplebujo #simplebujospread #todolist #planner #personal #lettering #weeklybujo #bassetpaw

Worked on some basic lettering from the ig of @bujo_cub #bujo #lettering #lepen #bujodailyspread #tombowdualbrushpens #leuchtturm1917 #messybujo #bulletjournal #bulletjournaling #bulletjournaladdict #bujoaddict #personal #bujoaddict #bujojunkie