#messaging we are putting out to queer people and men .
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yes i did go on a rant to my partner in the backcountry about how the way ppl treat the affection btwn members of ls dunes as exclusively gay is destructive and indicative of the ways queer people are subconsciously made to sexualize all of our affection
#i dont think it’s on purpose but i also think we should talk about it. like yes its cute and polyam jokes are funny but only to a certain ex#tent . and then past that we are left witha bunch of grown adults calling men gay for hugging and cuddling and being affectionate to each ot#her . and not to be all mens rights but god queer people already are made to feel predatory. man on man affection that includes kissing and#close touch is already kind of an uphill battle can we not ONLY sexualize it or frame it as queer in more than a platonic way . as a queer#who is perceived as a man and would love to be more non sexually affectionate with the men in my life can we just think critically about th#messaging we are putting out to queer people and men .#d.riv.el#there is nuance here im not saying we cant have fun !!! but lets acknowlexge that its fun. and not real. that these men are probably just#bonded deeply as touring bandmates (inherently INTIMATE! of COURSE they see each other naked!) and close friends#does this make sense. can anyone hear me. its getting dark in here
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op turned off reblogs on this post [Link], so I'm reposting this over here:
it's Extremely Unfortunate that we're at the point in trans masc exclusionism where we have to be hyper vigilant against seemingly innocuous posts.
when the op of this post says "men" in this post she means trans men.
trans men who present masc before (and sometimes during and after) hrt are often clocked as butch lesbians, because they are seen as feminine bodies presenting masculinely.
while there Are cis men who present similarly to butch lesbians (there's a very famous meme about it), how many cis men do you know that are Actively Trying or Want to present like butch lesbians?
or how about the Not Insignificant Overlap between trans mascs And butch lesbians (and lesbians in general)? the amount of trans mascs who identified as lesbians before they knew, who sometimes continue to feel a connection to that community as they realize more about their identity.
when op says "transandrophobia truthers" are the exact group of people this post was made about he's talking about trans mascs. this is a post saying that Trans Mascs aren't The Real Thing. and more specifically, the "transandrophobia truther" dog whistle refers back to trans mascs who stand up for themselves. who want their trauma to be taken seriously, who want to be treated like equals within the community. [Link]
it is a derogatory term that was specifically created by exclusionists to belittle trans mascs who speak up for themselves. it is Explicitly About trans mascs, and yet it's a term that people who are unfamiliar with the harassment happening towards trans mascs won't recognize.
and the nasty thing about it is that op was Intentionally trying to make a jab to hurt and belittle trans mascs while Framing it as a support post for trans and lesbian women. people who don't Already Know are going to interact with this post thinking that it's Only a positivity post.
thinking that it's just a silly little post punching up at cishet society.
when it's transphobia pointed at trans masc people.
I've said it before, but all exclusionism on this site is the same. it's the Exact Same tactics used over and over and over again, just with different targets.
and you saw Exactly this technique with ace exclusion All The Time. make a post that seems silly and lighthearted on the surface, that's Worded like it's referring to a privileged group, so that people pass it around without thinking about it.
but the Undercurrent, is a coded message to hurt a specific minority group, to hurt the target that's Familiar Enough with their own exclusion to read the intended insult.
and by Coding It, by making it a dog whistle instead of making it explicit, it Seems like more people support their position than they do (furthering the feeling of isolation in their victims). and works to help Normalize their talking points as they slowly become more explicit (intending to convert more people).
with asexuals it was "cishets trying to invade queer spaces," with trans mascs it's "men trying to invade trans/women's spaces."
it's intuitive that queer people punch up at cishets, it's Intuitive that trans people and women punch up at men, and That's The Point.
if the op of this post hadn't Explicitly referred to trans mascs in the notes ("transandrophobia truthers"), then I probably wouldn't have figured out what they were doing. I would've felt put off by it (as I was intended to, as it was created with the explicit intent to make people like me feel uncomfortable), but I wouldn't have had reason to look further into it. I probably would've just brushed it off and moved on.
unfortunately the only way around it is hypervigilence (learning the dog whistles, familiarizing yourself with how exclusionists talk about their victims), and hoping that the hand was tipped somewhere. hoping that the people who do this give away what their real Intent was.
and it's frustrating because the Vast Majority of the notes on the original post are just people having fun. who saw a post about trans butch lesbians and got excited and happy. and it's So Gross to see someone weaponize that.
it's unfair that people Need to be hypervigilent about posts About Them. it's one of the more upsetting aspects About exclusionism.
#discourse#exclusionism#transphobia#transandrophobia#queer unity#I do think the fact that op immediately locked down#means that I was right on the money#not that it was up for debate#because they said what they meant outright themselves for free
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Don't get involved with Wookieepedia
We all know Wookieepedia — it’s the Star Wars wiki, and an invaluable resource for fic writers everywhere. I’m not telling you not to look at Wookieepedia, but I do need to warn you not to get involved with the community. If you do want to edit it, then never join the discord or get involved with the forums (Senate Hall). It’s a cesspit of bigotry, and you cannot change it.
I tried. Along with a very well-known and vocal user named Immi Thrax, we tried to push back against misogyny and queerphobia. We thought we succeeded. You might have seen supposed “progress” on Wook: the addition of pronouns in the infobox, the addition of an anti-discrimination policy and an apology from the male wook admins for historical abuse towards marginalised editors. We did this. We, along with a small group of queer women and nonbinary editors, badgered the admins to write that apology for months, spoon-feeding them the things they needed to address and telling them that the early piss-weak drafts were unacceptable. We demanded infobox pronouns. We demanded an anti-discrimination policy and worked with them to add a glossary.
And then they ran us off the website.
We had a side server specifically for women and nonbinary people, with a few channels that also contained men we trusted. A woman (who was voted in as an admin after Immi) took screenshots from this private server and then posted them publicly. The screenshots were taken completely out of context and misrepresented their contents. The woman who took the screenshots deleted messages in them to make us look worse. They slandered us and put us in danger, because Immi has been targeted by dangerous corners of the internet before (which they were well aware of), and we were terrified we would be doxxed. All of the men approved of this, forced Immi to resign, and spread blatant lies about us. Wook users attacked us, and it was deemed perfectly acceptable to do so.
When I wrote the initial forum post about sexism and misogyny on the website, Master Fredcerique, one of the admins, told me that he was in fear of losing his job during 2021 because of discord screenshot leaks, and that "Safety for everyone was of utmost importance" to him, hence requesting I not provide usernames for my examples of bigotry. It is clear that Immi, myself and others in those screenshots do not count in this 'everyone'. I wonder why he wanted to protect the perpetrators of misogyny but was happy to endanger women!
As a result of this horrific breach of trust and privacy, every single queer woman and almost every nonbinary wook editor has left the site. We were too radical, and they had to destroy us. Sure, a woman did this, but I don’t think it’s an accident that a cishet woman who self-describes as a Republican in Florida forced the two loud leftist lesbians off the site. And the men approved of everything she’s done and contributed to it. One (1) man (notably not an admin) stood up for us, and he was banned for doing it.
So don’t join wook. If you do edit, don't trust anyone. Have every single conversation about wook in public, where people can never take your words out of context. Do not participate in DMs, group chats or any wook-related servers, including the official one. Marginalised editors' very existence is a disruption to the status quo of Wookieepedia, and there is every possibility you will be seen as a threat, even if you are not initially treated as one.
#star wars#wookieepedia#wookiepedia#the likelihood i'm going to be permabanned on wook for this post is very high tbh#i just really don't want any other marginalised people to go through what i did bc it absolutely destroyed me#update i did get permabanned for this
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The Coffee Shop guy and Red Hood IV
Arkham Verse Jason Todd x Male! Nerd Reader
Warning: mention of homophobia and sex, plus some violence
There was a spring in your step as you walked hand in hand with Jason, the streets were busy as it was coming up November. Of course, people had the bright idea of preparing for next month now.
‘Can we check this place when we’re done?’ Jason asked, you nudged your glasses up your face.
‘Yeah, course’ you winked a little, Jason swung his arm a little along with yours.
You two weren’t paying much attention to what was around you, hence how you didn’t notice that you were leaning toward trouble.
‘Look at these two, queers’ a man called out, hanging back with his two men.
‘The fuck you say?’ Jason shot his head round to look at the men.
You nudged Jason a little to say a message of ignore them, without saying it. But Jason saw red.
‘You heard me’ the man said, obviously the leader of the group.
‘You can call me whatever you want, but you do not call my boyfriend anything’ Jason barked, the three men laughed, not taking Jason seriously.
‘Leave it, babe’ you urged by pulling Jason’s arm.
He softened to your voice and touch, allowing you to lead the way.
‘You should’ve let me hit them’ Jason said, voice shaking from anger.
‘Not when you’re Jason Todd, Red Hood does it and no questions asked. And no, that is not an invite to hunt them down later’ you reassured.
You sat with Jason in a diner, neither of you ate much today so you shared a plate of fries and both had a burger.
‘Fuck’ Jason muttered under his breath, you raised an eyebrow.
Turning your head to see the three men from earlier come into the diner. Sitting at a far end table. They seemed to spot you both as they pointed and chuckled.
‘Ignore them’ you urged again, noticing Jason’s fists clenching up.
You placed your hand gently on his, pleading with your eyes.
You both managed to have a good night out as Jason began to forget about the men from earlier. Until one of them shouted an obscenity to you.
Jason rose onto his feet, but you jumped in front of him, placing your hand on his chest.
‘Get them later’ you whispered, winking as Jason nodded.
You both paid for your food and walked out hand in hand, you stuck your finger up at one of the guys.
The three men were causing trouble again, as they were throwing bricks near passing vehicles. Shouting insults to people in the streets.
Obviously, it was no trouble at all for Jason to track down these three men, who had a record as long as his career.
Red Hood landed on top of their car, whistling at them to alert them. They pulled out their knives as Red Hood flipped over their heads.
Red Hood shot one in the arm and then the leg, wrestling the bigger one to the ground with ease. Then giving a hard kick to the head, knocking him out.
The third, the leader, Jason grabbed his arm and twisted until he heard a loud crack and the man let out a scream.
‘Why?’ The shot man asked, holding his leg.
‘Those two men, from the diner. They’re good friends of mine. And I don’t appreciate the things you said’ he charged and grabbed hold of the man’s shot arm.
The man winced in pain, Red Hood let out a chuckle.
‘Painful? Oops. Maybe this’ll teach you and your fellas here, to be a little nicer to everyone’ he said lowly as he finished off with letting the man drop on the floor.
‘Put pressure here, it’ll slow the bleeding’ he said, hesitating with his thoughts. But still, he didn’t want to kill them. Just make a point.
Sometimes, Jason looked at criminals like these three and felt a tiny hint of pity on them. Unsure why though, however he just wanted to scare them.
‘Done?’ You asked as you came out of the kitchen, Jason nodded.
‘Made sure they went in the ambulance ok, felt bad for shooting one of them. But it was non lethal spots, plus it hopefully scared them enough to be nice’ Jason said, taking his jacket off.
You walked over and gave Jason a kiss on the lips, him lifting you up off your feet.
He took your shirt off along with his, carrying you around the place. Upside down on his back.
‘My glasses are gonna fall off’ you said, taking them off and placing them on the table.
Jason laughed as he threw you off his back and onto the bed. Kissing your chest, stomach and then pulling your pants down.
‘Time for some fun’ Jason growled as he pulled your underwear down.
You gripped the bed sheets as Jason lowered himself and took you into his mouth. Making you moan out his name.
As always, Jason knew how to work you and get you to the end. He knew your body so well, and all its sweet spots.
Not to sound too vulgar, but Jason knew the exact spots to hit with you that most of the time you wouldn’t need to jerk yourself, he’d be so deep in you hitting it himself.
The rainy nights were the best for the winter, as it meant you weren’t in a hurry to leave. But Jason insisted on taking you to laser tag. He was surprised you’d never done it before.
Just simple things like these, innocent moments that Jason had. Times he showed his more fun and outgoing side, it made you fall more in love with him every time.
Moments like these, you never wanted to forget. Moments, Jason would always treasure. He went from the menacing and ruthless Arkham Knight, to the killing machine Red Hood, to this giant yet so loving and caring man.
#red hood#gotham#red hood fanfiction#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd#jason todd x male reader#jason todd x nerd#red hood x male reader#red hood x nerd
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I've been thinking about the Jance photoshoot and oof do I have Thoughts but -- okay, an attempt to explain why this photoshoot really speaks to me.
I've seen a bunch of different takes float across my dash, but to me the core of this photoshoot is the portrayal of a very deep bond between two men without fully specifying what kind of bond it is. The message I get from their pictures, from Jan looking into the camera (almost?) defiantly while Nace looks serious to the two of them looking at each other and only each other, is "This is us. This is our relationship. What kind? Well, none of your business, but we're not hiding it and we won't help you put us into a definitive drawer."
Since this got long, more thoughts under the cut
And, like -- there's so many layers to this shoot? So many ways to read this as an utter fucking power move, and I'm just. Really touched.
So. Layer one is kind of what I pulled from the art earlier, saying, "you may get to see us be intimate and close, barely hidden behind a glass door (= lack of privacy), but at the end of the day, we decide how much we share. And even if you get these intimate glimpses, you do not get all of me (= him half-hidden behind his hair and/or Nace)"
So what do we glimpse? Well, that's where it gets delicious imo. Because it could be read as non-sexual and non-romantic, so just platonic. Non-sexual intimacy is still pretty rarely portrayed, especially between men, and that goes double for non-romantic intimacy. And so as someone on the aroace-spectrum, that speaks to me so so much.
it's also such a fuck you against Toxic Masculinity -- that they can be this vulnerable together, that they don't mind showing -- that they're actually showing off to -- the world that they're this vulnerable with each other. Just. Intimacy and trust and closeness; laughing together and seeing each other and presenting a united front against the world (= the viewer).
I've long-since wondered if Nace is Jan's emotional support bassist -- if they're each other's comfort people, which would track with them doing this shoot together, presenting themselves in front of the camera together. "I'm doing this, putting myself out there, because with you by my side it feels doable."
And just. The fact that it can be read as queer and they clearly don't mind is also stunning regardless of if they are actually queer and/or actually in a relationship. They know what the fandom thinks. They know what this will look like. And yet -- no "no homo", no "bradders"; just unabashed joy in each other's presence and standing together -- and it's not escaped my notice that it's Jan having Nace's back, fixing the camera with a look of, if you touch him, I'll end you.
And if it is an affirmation that they're queer/together? Then holy shit, what a power move.
Just. I think this is a piece of art that's really resonating because I can see myself in so many of these layers and that's just so powerful. Damon is a pretty good photographer, from what I've picked up, and so I think this is not an accident; I think this series of photos confirms exactly as much and as little as he wants it to. And in the gaps in between, which I understand is something art does, we have space to see ourselves and engage with the artwork in our own ways.
Because at the end of the day, as raw and as candid as these shots look, this isn't an unfiltered version of them. It is them, at least in part, but it's art. It's a performance. It's something we can construct narratives out of (which, probably surprising no one, is something I really enjoy), but we're still engaging with the performance, not the real people underneath. But it still takes guts to give yourself over to that performance, and that is what might move me the most, gorgeous and stunning pictures and all.
The fact that they stepped forward and said, "This is us. Make of it what you will."
#joker out#jfc this got long#jan peteh#nace jordan#nace ja jan#jance#damon baker#this shoot is not an accident#but it is an interesting marketing technique#to kill their fanbase just before the release of a new single#model!jan#model!nace#jo model era#jo in london#isz speaks
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Light trigger warning: gender roles, misogyny, transphobia
I love Ouran Highschool Host Club and with the Shoujo classic that it is, I adopted the general consensus that the show was "ahead of its time" with how it portrayed gender. Haruhi will always be a non-binary icon but upon rewatching it, especially after my own trans awakening, I remembered something that never sat right with me and that was how Tamaki treated Haruhi. My two cisgender friends didn't seem to pick up on the same problems even though they also consider Haruhi to be non-binary which made me think I was just projecting onto the anime. But another friend of mine later told me how it was much more "heterosexual" than she remembered that helped validate the feeling I had.
Although Haruhi doesn't like to make a fuss about gender, the anime does and it constantly reminds us that no matter what Haruhi feels, she is still a "girl". Tamaki is the worst offender of this mentality where even his entire perspective on Haruhi changes as soon as he finds out she's afab. A huge part of Tamaki's character is that he dotes on Haruhi "like a father" where his actions are actually founded on the authoritative, patriarchal belief that he needs to "protect" her because she is a woman. Not just protect her from actual harm either but from things like kissing someone and wearing a swimsuit...
Although in certain ways, we're supposed to laugh at Tamaki's overbearing nature, he's never actually taught to respect Haruhi's autonomy. In what felt like every episode, Tamaki fixates on Haruhi's assigned sex much to her annoyance. Yet rather than learning to look at Haruhi as a person regardless of gender, we're expected to see his obsession with upholding gender roles as a sign of affection. This felt clearest in episode 8, "The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club!" where Haruhi confronts two men for harassing her female peers. She gets shoved into the water where Tamaki saves her but the conflict arises when he scolds Haruhi for standing up to men at all. The message emphasizes to us that "Haruhi is a girl" and it's something that she has to accept for her own well being while Tamaki's anger is meant to be perceived as chivalrous rather than patriarchal and heteronormative. The reality is, even if Haruhi was in danger, that isn't actually her fault but the fault of the men who felt entitled to women's bodies (something Tamaki is guilty of, even if not to the same level of aggression).
I still cherish OHSHC but it hasn't fully stood the test of time as I've been led to believe. That's not to rob gender queer people the comfort they feel from the show but that for myself, it's a bit hard to look past the cishet energy that the anime exudes. Although I see Haruhi as non-binary, the show doesn't seem to agree and goes great lengths to invalidate Haruhi's gender indifference. It's tragically common in anime and manga where trans-coded afab characters are reminded that they're still women and it's usually "proven" to them through patriarchal scenarios that put CIS men in a role of dominance. A lot of the time, these women are only gender nonconforming out of happenstance or circumstance rather than by choice, which even includes Haruhi Fujioka (she only cut her hair because there was gum in it). That's not to conflate gender expression with identity but it does feel like we're only being met half way, especially when the anime still romanticizes the gender dichotomy with Haruhi and Tamaki's relationship. I would've loved to see Tamaki be able to toss the notion of gender the same way Haruhi is able to and have that be the groundwork in which their mutual feelings blossom. Instead, it just felt like we got a man who stubbornly wants someone who grew up without gender labels to visualize herself the way he does, as a "woman".
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Hello! My Blog isn't aspec related so I thought I'd share my two cents here
The recent aro hate on this website is INSANE. As someone who is new to tumblr, seeing this in a predominantly queer-centred website is unfathomable.
Equating aro people to "no strings attached" is illogical and stems from the allo-amato notion that there are strings to be attached in the first place. Physical pleasure and emotional fulfilment are two completely separate concepts.
Portraying cishet aro men as people who are just leading on the poor women infantilizes women. This is just misogyny packed as discourse. If a cishet aro person is indeed being a dickhead, they're just a dickhead and we can all call them out on that like we call out any other dickhead
To the queer people equating aromanticism to pedophilia, how do y'all not remember that how gay men were treated back in the day? How we were cordoned off from society to "protect the children"? Do better, people
To the aspec people being accused of doing this just to be able to use a slur, fuck that. The exclsionists seem to have forgotten what a reclaimed slur means, or what queer means. Queer simply mean strange. Have they.. forgotten that aroace people are the queerest ones out there. Challenging not only heteronormativity but also allonormatovity and amatonormativity. They're the ones being called weird for not dating or having crushes or swooning over the random hot guy on the street or fantasizing about a white wedding. The ones treated as immature by their peers for not having a partner yet. And people think they aren't queer?
Fuck the exclsionists. I LOVE your posts. I'm sure I'm surrounded by people hating in anon in your ask box and I'm sending them all the hate in my heart. I love your blog and the aro community is one of the most inclusive I've seen on here. Love y'all and stay strongggg
ok so I'm very sleepy and my brain is like some sort of sauce currently so I'm gonna put numbers before each thing I say bc it's easier, don't worry about it
1 thank you for sharing your two cents, I think I agree with everything you said (can't be sure bc my brain is some sort of sauce currently but I'm sure I'd have noticed if I disagreed)
2 I want to go on The Slur Rant (tm) so bad but the internet is simply not prepared for it and I would rather not have to deal with the annoying fucks who'd disagree with me. not sure why I said this or why I got so aggressive at the end of that last sentence but here we are.
3 I'm sure there was something else I wanted to say before what I'm gonna say next but I forgot, sorry
4 my dude you are not in fact surrounded by hate in my askbox!! there's actually more nice messages than anything else <2 and also whenever I get anon hate I just block on sight now so it's fine. but yeah I would like to thank everyone for the kind words and everything. I love yall except for the ones who rather I didn't, in which case take your pick, we got uhhh cherish, appreciate, like but stronger, and. :3 (<- consider this a verb).
5 thank youuuuuuuu <222
6 sorry I took a while to answer this ask hope you see it even though I'm posting this at horrible hours gdhdjdjdk
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I'm glad you're serious about the "lesbians thing." People often don't realize how those phrases come off and what they imply. And it's disturbing that it just ends up furthering terf rhetoric. I'm honestly glad to finally see other people talking about this, cause otherwise ppl will just keep doing it. Props, Zero
I'm sure that there's a number of people who genuinely don't realize that they're parroting terf dogwhistles, and are just irked that their "fun" is being taken away by me calling out their bs. The "it's just a joke" response is sadly very common - us little queers learned it from our abusers who put us down our whole life and answered "I was joking, why can't you take a joke'" when we called them out.
(Saying "it's just a joke" is a gaslighting tactic by the way. When something that offends us is just a joke, our feelings of hurt or anger are treated like an immature and essentially invalid reaction. "Are you a child, getting offended over a simple joke?", when the so called joke is actually an insult, packaged in such a way which makes it harder to call it out.)
But there are also some people who don't reblog the "they're lesbians to me" bullshit in good faith, and are actually terfs who are perfectly aware of what they're doing. It's always like this - the "harmless joke" is pushed by those who actually mean to put people down, phrased in a way which makes it sound funny to those who are not In On It, that will then parrot it and further spread the message.
"But Zero, it's not like I will start thinking men can't experience love and are All Bad just because I reblogged a stupid joke!"
These "jokes" inure you to hateful rhetoric by serving it to you in an easy to swallow form, and making it seem harmless and normal. If you're jokingly saying that a man who is kind and loving towards his wife is actually a woman, you're easing yourself into thinking that men can't experience tender feelings because they are all intrinsically bad, and only two women can truly and fully love each other and have a respectful, healthy relationship.
And I know that some people are already comfortably easing themselves into thinking just that, given how hard it's proving for them to even just realize that saying "they're lesbians to me" about a het couple is offensive to men AND to transmasc people.
#my asks#thanks for the support Dan#I didn't expect to receive hate over this of all things but here we are
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Hello India! Because I unfortunately belong to the overthinkers club, I´ve been recently thinking about that "famously sexy" quote especially after H´s extra sexy outfit yesterday. And I would like to share some of my opinions about this theme which maybe goes hand in hand with H´s sexuality.
As we can see how Louis is becoming more and more confident and open every show - his tanktops, his smile after barricade ripped tank top and how he came back half naked looking beyond happy, his interaction with fans, dancing and just feeling himself - I have no doubt that H is very the same. When I think back to that Better homes and gardens´ interview he said something like how he struggled with himself and felt that his sex life was the only thing that was truly his and he felt ashamed of that. The Harry we can see on stage these months is - as I personally see it - very open person who no longer struggle to be truly himself, being proud and comfortable of his sexuality (no matter how he identifies) and he loves his body. Of course, there´s a factor of being on stage and put up a great show but I don´t think he´ll be able to do it as he does if he won´t be confident and won´t feel it. Yes, there are all those marketing strategies how he´s sold as a sex symbol mostly for female audience and I see this very similar to how Ricky Martin has been sold during 00´s - he has very sexy videos where he´s making out with woman, his body was (and still is) very ripped and mostly half naked. Back then even my child self (I was about 10 years old) saw him as a total sex god. And now he´s openly gay, still doing very sexy photoshoots....because he´s proud and he´s feeling himself. But I see something different with Harry being more open and giving hints of his queerness - something Ricky Marting wasn´t probably able to do back then - his total sexy gay outfits (yesterday he looked like he´s literally came on stage from gay bar), his banana dick, penis jokes and gay innuendos are just a few which came to my mind now. And there´s his role for MP and those sex scenes which he was able and comfortable to shoot which also speaks volume. Writing this, his stunts with women and interaction to some het signs are just to get away with everything queer he does. And the last question to think about - for whom is he famously sexy? He´s sold as a sex symbol for female audience mostly but....but does it mean that gay men don´t see him as a sex symbol too? What if his actual target are gays and never women (but heteronormativity makes us feel like it´s primary for women) - we will never know because he will never tell and that´s probably good because he´ll loose most if he just come out.
Sorry for longer message, hope it´s understandable what I´m trying to say - not everything we think he´s sold as and primary for whom might be true and his inner target can be totally different.
I think, to stay mentally healthy, Harry has very much learned to compartmentalize between his personal and professional life.
I tend to think the fandom struggles with this compartmentalization because it feels so drastically different from what he seemed to want when he was younger and how much he visibly pushed against that overly sexualized image (which he still does, btw, because enjoying being sexy and inviting sexualization will always be two different things).
But yeah, I think the fandom doesn’t know how to reconcile his personal acceptance of his status as a sex symbol with the way he used to push back so fiercely against it. But really, I think it’s just a conscious, strategic adult decision.
This is not to say I agree with forcibly closeting anyone, or using closeting/stunting as currency to win back inalienable rights and personal freedoms. I absolutely do not and I wish the world was not this way at all.
But I’m also aware that we live in this reality, where the entertainment industry will continue to commodify people because there’s nothing that stops them, which means playing into that role allows him other freedoms, because anyone with any kind of professional career understands that making yourself “worth the trouble” and irreplaceable, especially in such a finicky industry, is what’s going to allow for both creative control and longevity in your career.
At the end of the day, I think it all boils down to cost. We like to think of stunts in a vacuum - either they exist or they don’t, and everything else stays the same - but the truth is, that’s not the way it works. Rather, it’s a lot more likely that stunts are a constant part of being That Kind of celebrity, particularly because of Harry’s profile, how he shot to fame, and how he has always been marketed, and what he has managed to do is gain enough leverage and popularity to exchange participation for something/multiple things: creative freedom, personal expression, rainbow flags every night, sparkly bi music… the list goes on.
And, as easy as it is to say it’s black-and-white not worth it… do we really mean that? If we had a printed receipt that said the cost of being allowed to fly a rainbow flag every night and play a starring role in a queer film and write songs like She and Find Line and Little Freak and helping fans come out and saying “we’re all a little bit gay” was one (1) stunt every year, would we, as a fandom, be willing to make the trade? Would we be willing to go back to the way it was in the 1D days, where everything he did and said was so tightly monitored that a glimpse of anything rainbow would send us into cardiac arrest and growing his hair was the biggest act of authenticity and rebellion he could manage?
And more than that, do we even have the right to have weigh in on something we know nothing about the complexities of, and that neither affect our life/our career/our future/the way we’re allowed to move about the world as a person/artist?
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I. Hm.
This isn’t what I’d planned to post about tonight, so this is a little more off the cuff than I’d like it to be, and some of it is cobbled together from things I’ve posted elsewhere, but almost a week later I’m still surprised at how many people I see talking about Boston setting off the Only Friends Ep 5 fight with Ray because he was bored, or because it amused him, or because he was having fun - because look at his face throughout that fight. At what point does Boston look like he’s having any fun? There may be a kind of feral satisfaction when he scores an emotional hit, but none of it looks like fun.
Here’s the thing, something I suspect is vital to understanding Boston and his emotional makeup and his motives, something that gives me some sympathy for him: Boston is the monster in the closet. The Closet. He’s a very specific kind of queer boogeyman, he’s got a lot of toxic behaviors, and a lot of them are rooted in the fact that he’s a creature of the closet, the human equivalent of a plant that’s been grown without enough light. His father’s political ambitions mean that he cannot be out, he can’t be open about his sexual/relationship orientation. This is not just about whether or not he’s willing to cut himself off from his family – which is already a lot to ask of him. Even if he was willing to cut himself off, to be disowned, it wouldn’t necessarily protect his father’s career and political ambitions, it wouldn’t prevent the possible social shame and opprobrium that might fall on his family if anyone found out and had undeniable proof and wanted to make a big deal out of it. It certainly wouldn’t be filial. That's a LOT of weight to put on someone's shoulders.
Being open about his desires and what would make him happy would mean disaster. This is the message Boston’s internalized. He is so shameful that not only does he have to be hidden, he has to make sure that he’s not exposed at any cost. He threatened someone – and with what? - to make them delete a video of them together. He can’t allow even a picture of himself with another man in what could be a compromising situation (and boy, does that make me wonder what actually happened between him and Top, that Boston is willing to forego every bit of his conditioning to keep that photo-booth strip of them together, lying around his house). Boston doesn’t have relationships – Boston cruises, Boston has one-night stands, Boston has hookups, Boston has a few people here and there that he may fuck more than once. Does he want a relationship? He doesn’t act like it, we don’t know – but it doesn’t matter. Boston can’t have a relationship, and he knows that. How could he have anything long-term when he has to hide? Who’s going to be willing to live like that with him? Who’s going to be able to maintain the level of secrecy that would entail? Nothing would ever be permanent, so nothing – and no one - can ever be real.
And I wonder if the photographs he takes of men who are, presumably, hookups are less a kind of serial killer trophy and more of a way of trying to have some evidence that maybe, even if for a moment, they were real, a way of solidifying those men, making them less ephemeral, even if Boston, himself, can’t be in the photos so that he and the experiences he had with them remain ephemeral, unreal. I wonder if it’s his attempt to somehow actually humanize the experiences he’s having and the men he’s having them with.
Boston, as he is, the person he is - his very self and being - cannot be allowed to exist openly, in public, in the light. He lives in a constant state of denial of self, of self-abnegation. That is a tragedy. The closet has fucked Boston UP, and I have some sympathy for that.
I'm also willing to admit that he is fucked up, that his coping skills are toxic, that treating other people as disposable after you’ve had your entertainment – even if you think you can’t keep them around, even if a night’s entertainment is all you can allow yourself - is also toxic, along with the (likely) resentment and resulting contempt he has for people in general, and Ray in particular. Because he seems to have it out for Ray, for some reason – and has done since Ep 1, since he called Ray a “burden while drunk", echoing the language we’d later learn Ray uses for himself at his lowest points. I wonder if he sees Ray as weak, as well as being pissed off that Ray didn’t keep Mew away from Top. Because almost the only nice thing we’ve ever seen Boston do is not be a Category 5 bitch to Mew when Mew called him about finally fucking Top - when Mew called to let his friend, who’s been trying to “help” him lose his virginity since Ep 1, know that it was finally going to happen. But what Boston does, at the first opportunity, is displace all his pain and anger over Top fucking Mew onto Ray. I don’t think that confrontation was for fun, and I don't think Boston was bored, and I don’t think it was premeditated in the same way that most of his other moves have been. He had no idea that Ray was going to be at Sand and Nick’s apartment. It was opportunistic, but I also think it was taking a whole bunch of emotional turmoil and lashing out at the weakest perceived target he could find, the person in the room who he knows best, whose painpoints he's the most sure of hitting, and of cutting the deepest.
None of that is about fun or boredom.
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Submission messagefor Merlin and Arthur: merthur (merlin and Arthur from the BBC show merlin
Submission message for Steve and Bucky: Does Stucky count? Steve and Bucky from Captain America
Additional propaganda: I refuse to shut up about this. Merlin is not queerbait!! At no point during the show is there a genuine possibility of Arthur and Merlin to be in a romantic relationship. They are queer coded but they do not create a false impression of their relationship. See Sherlock for good example: they constantly bring it up in the show itself and dangle it in front of the viewers, only to not follow through. The show Merlin does not set them up. There are no offhanded remarks, comments, or jokes that they’re more than friends. There is simply no chance in the show that they will get together. They are queer coded, which is not the same. Coding says: this character displays some traits and characteristics that ___ people may relate to. Baiting says: oh you want these two together? hmm, you wanna see that? wouldn’t that be nifty? what if they talk about it and act like it? aren’t you gonna keep watching to find out if they really do? Then follows up with: SIKE! Wow we got you, of course they’re not together! All of that was meaningless! Let’s please stop confusing these two entirely separate concepts!
Merthur is just gay I don’t have to explain merthur on the merthur site. They’re talking to each other at night and giving each other flowers and shit— things Arthur NEVER does with his canon romantic love interest and if I’m not mistaken I think Arthur like goes to sleep for a hundred years and Merlin is like. Still waiting for him? Let them kiss, damn!
Stucky: "Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale and no adventure is complete without a love story.....the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history" - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (writers of Captain America movies + Avengers Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame)
"from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance." - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely
"Just as Jeph and Tim’’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in, the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each other’s soulmate." - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely
“So you have a character in Captain America who is searching for the only thing that he has left from his past that has any meaning to him, and that’s Bucky; and people have interpreted that relationship all kinds of ways and it’s great...we will never define it, as filmmakers, explicitly." - The Russos (Captain America: Civil War press)
"You mean, aside from Cap and Bucky?" - Anthony Russo (co-director of Cap 2 and 3 and Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame) when asked about romance in Captain Amierca: Civil War
"Moderator: But you already had a romantic B story with Cap and Bucky, right?
Anthony: We sure do
Joe: We still do
Moderator: Did you ever had to dial down the sexual tension on set?
Joe: Why would we?" - Anthony and Joe Russo (directors of Cap 2 and 3 and Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame) at a screening of Captain America: Civil War
Just a few examples directly from Marvel and the writers and directors.
merthur totally should win for so many reasons but mostly. most because the show writer, when advertising the last episode, said it was “a love story between two men” and then arthur just died in merlin’s arms for 42 minutes. on the day before christmas.
I put the first episode of Merlin, because I heard it was such a great show. I knew nothing about the ship at that point. I only put it on because i love shows like that. Before the first episode was over I was like OMG those two are gayer than later seasons Destiel. There is no way it was not intentional. NONE. Big time homoerotic vibes. It was great
I get the coding critique, but I think I disagree with the person who said they never teased a relationship with Merthur. If we’re talking “offhanded jokes that they’re more than friends” (or that other characters thought they were together a la Sherlock), I think the poetry and pants scenes fit that.
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I like when you post about scriptures, but I'm wondering how you respond when people use the clobber passages? They seem so clear and specific and anti-queer
Many people pull a verse from the scriptures and use it as proof for their viewpoint. When they do this with the clobber verses it puts the onus on the marginalized person to argue the verse was mistranslated or there's historical context that needs to be considered, and so on. That kind of interaction cedes power because the assumption is the other person is correct unless we can prove why it should be interpreted another way.
This kind of approach ignores that these verses are part of a long story arc. For example, in Deuteronomy it says men with damaged testicles can't worship with everyone else or be included in the temple, presumably this is referencing people who were made eunuchs in Egypt. Some people will pull out this chestnut and claim that any trans person who's had bottom surgery can't go to the temple or even be allowed to be baptized and join this church.
But to use the verse in Deuteronomy that way is to ignore that Isaiah later wrote that eunuchs would be welcomed and honored. It ignores the story of Daniel. It ignores what Jesus said about eunuchs and marriage. It ignores the eunuch who was the first gentile convert to Christianity. Seeing the story of the eunuchs across the Bible is important as they go from being excluded to being included. To only use the verse in Deuteronomy is to teach the wrong lesson.
When we look at the scriptures as a whole, there is an arc towards more inclusion, more justice, more room at the table. Whatever scriptures people pull out to condemn whole groups of folks doesn't stand up when we read the scriptures as a whole.
The scriptures are a record of people trying to make sense of what is happening in their lives. They are trying to make sense of their place in the world and what it means to be in relationship with the Divine and what it means to be in community with others. The scriptures include a lot of messiness and complications.
We can learn from their wrestle with these important questions. We can learn from how their answers evolved. We can engage in the same wrestle today.
What does it mean for me as a a queer individual to be in a relationship with God? What does it mean to live ethically under capitalism? What does it mean to be part of an empire (the United States)? What does it mean to be a good neighbor? What does it mean to live our faith in a world that has people of many faiths and of no faith? What does it mean to be in relationship with others in my religious community?
There are all sorts of ways in which scripture stories can continue to speak to us today. When I read the story of someone who was an outsider and then Jesus does not treat them as an outsider, I can relate with that. I don't feel incompatible with God, but there are some issues of compatibility when it comes to my church because I'm queer.
I think when people who are marginalized read the scriptures they will pull different messages compared to those who read from a place of comfort and privilege. Liberation theology, Black theology, womanist theology, and queer theology are all closer to the heart of texts which talk about being dominated by empires or being in exile.
This was a long answer to say when someone pulls out a particular verse as a weapon against me, I know when looking at the whole there is a beautiful story of growing acceptance and God values the marginalized
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Something I think you're missing in how you talk about trans men: how recently you transitioned.
I came out circa 2007, and there was almost no information about us, no community where I lived (the local support group was all older trans women), no media outside of "Boys Don't Cry" and the way-better-but-still-basic "Parrotfish," no anything at all except TERF lesbian communities that coveted and hated us in equal measure, and general GSAs that were sweet, but dominated by cis people. I learned that the worst thing in the world I could be was a trans man - to be a trans man was to be a regressive agent of the patriarchy, and if I couldn't force myself to be nonbinary or a cis woman, I was evil.
In the early 2010s I attended a conference where a trans woman, a national celebrity I looked up to, made a joke about how useless trans men are during her keynote speech. I walked out of that room crying because as far as I knew, she was right - I was almost an elder by the standards of an atomized community where we were expected to die young, and even I couldn't name a single trans man in history who'd mattered.
We take it for granted now that trans men like Lou Sullivan made a difference, but to bring attention to him, folks like me had to swim upstream against a wave of accusations of misogyny from TERFs, and sometimes even from trans women. The acceptance you rejoice in at bathhouses? That was hard won through outreach by trans men. I even remember a specific trans male-run ambassador program in San Francisco circa 2013 dedicated to integrating trans men into the queer male community.
The world that's welcomed you was built by trans men who, like me, felt agonizingly alone and unwanted in both cis and trans communities. You paint a picture of lazy hangers-on who don't understand how good they have it, and maybe that's true for the folks you're looking at, but they don't reflect the hard work trans men have been putting in at every level of organizing for much longer than our efforts have been recognized. I've been involved in the fight for our liberation since I was a teenager, working on school and state-level policy change, medical access, the preservation of history, mentorship, dodging evictions, and all the little jobs my tired, autistic ass can take on, and I've never been rewarded for it outside the thanks of the people I've helped. All I ever wanted was to make things better for the generations that came after me.
I'd just like to have that reality acknowledged - that those of us who came before you built what you're now able to enjoy, and we can use that history to empower and encourage younger generations to continue doing the work instead of implying that no one's been doing it at all.
Thank you for this message. I would like to read a lot more about your perspective on this history. Please let me know your @ -- in private if you prefer. There are some elements of how this is framed here that do make me go, hm (the view was the worst thing you could be was a trans man?) but I am also appreciative of this this glimpse at what I don't know I don't know, and am interested to learn more about it.
But I also want to push back against the idea that I have no knowledge of how things were during the times you're talking about -- I was a queer, gender-questioning adult at that time too, and I was active in many trans spaces.
My medical transition is very recent in the grand scheme of things but I've been rolling deep with trans guys and going to trans masc events since 2003-2004 (in Cleveland and Columbus). I remember how the not-full-blown TERFY yet still very toxic radfems spoke about men, sexually preyed upon trans guys in some cases, and sometimes said things critical of transition. I knew several trans guys who had quite a guilt complex about becoming a "man" because they had internalized that men were inherently predatory and evil. Personally, I'd always thought that line of thinking was absurd and a very poor excuse for feminism, so it didn't get under my skin in the same way. Instead of making me not want to be a man, it made me not want to be a feminist. Which is pretty typical sexist bro shit to do really. Again, no big evidence of transmisandry here. certainly experiences that were emotionally very fraught and challenging for people, but not misandry or transmisandry.
These queer and feminist groups that I moved within were VASTLY more exclusionary to the trans femmes in the city, who were not even permitted to attend events for sexual assault survivors in the Columbus scene. I DID see trans women on the social periphery of these groups be discouraged from transitioning, and I did hear just about every vile transmisogynistic slur and exclusionary idea you can think of be passed around by many without challenge.
The transmisogyny stood out to me even back then as particularly egregious and rampant -- it disgusted me and caused me to distance myself from those groups of people in 2007-8. It was the outspoken hatred of anyone with an "amab" body and frothing transmisogyny that made me not want to be associated with that crowd or to contemplate transition, honestly -- not any kind of widespread anti-transmasc sentiment. These groups held top surgery fundraisers and hormone start date celebrates for trans guys and expressed desire for trans men openly and included them warmly in just about everything while treating trans women like predators and telling them they should just be feminine men (far, far away from them).
So my experience just does not track with what you are saying. I imagine we have two very different vantage points on similar periods of time, and I think there certainly is a lot more about trans masc history I could stand to learn and so many trans masc elders' whose names I should be putting more respect on. And I'd be very open to hearing more about that from you. But I do have to push back against the characterization of the era as someone who very much was there.
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Please take time to read this
Hello, i’m ranting again but ffs Army are infuriating i simply cannot.. I’m making this post for my queer people but also for my non-queer people but who support the LGBTQ community. Again sometimes i’m really bad with words, i really don’t know how to put shit out there correctly but please bear with me.
So i’ve been on tiktok and that lovely girlie’s video popped up on my fyp (the same girlie i posted yesterday), basically the caption on the video was “Me watching homophobic “armys” throwing a fit bc queer armys find comfort in Jimin’s queercoded lyrics”, me being me i checked the comments and i come across shit like this
The way people are so very against any of BTS members being anything but straight and like to throw the “don’t assume” stupid comment, that “they never came out” “they never said it themselves” yada yada, bitch do you even know what queer coded means? Do you know what a code means to begin with?
People seem to forget that these men are in an environment that doesn’t allow them to just “come out” they can’t just fucking shout to the world that they’re fucking gay Patricia!
It’s the fact that Jimin has been dropping hints here and there to HOPEFULLY people can understand, can get the fucking message, but people are still out there wanting him to just say it as it is, they don’t understand the effort it take to fucking come out in a homophobic country in a God forsaken industry with entitled fans who can’t accept idols being non-hetero.
It’s like people are trying their best to break Jimin’s effort in trying to “set himself free” as he fucking just said from all this bullshit, from holding back, from “HIDING” bitch he literally said that wtf do you think he’s hiding from? The monster under his bed? The muffin man in his closet? Wake the fuck up! You’re stanning a man but refuse to understand him, refuse to give him a chance to express himself without having to put himself in a tough position.
I remember sharing before this one video from a tiktoker who made a joke about how queer celebrities deal with dating questions when they didn’t necessarily come out or weren’t intending to but still were trying to drop hints :
(Matt Taylor)
It is already hard enough for queer people to be accepted in this society and people keep on making it harder for them. People saying that your own personal interpretation shouldn’t be imposed on what Jimin means, if y’all keep on acting this way when the fuck are we ever going to understand him? Are we always going to put his efforts in vain? That man simply CANNOT COME OUT and you know what? He doesn’t HAVE to either, why tf do people think he will just trust such an entitled fandom to come out to them?
Bitches be really quick to deny the fact that they’re simply homophobic but Jan, could you please enlighten me on why tf do you get so fucking defensive whenever anyone mentions the possibility of any of these men being queer? Them assholes aren’t even ready to accept that Yoongi, the man who ACTUALLY said it, is queer let alone making effort to understand Jimin.
I won’t say this enough, i will obviously not repeat it enough but THIS is why Yoongi said that FANS, MOTHERFUCKING FANS will understand not Army cause y’all only hold the fandom’s name nothing more. So fucking entitled and want everything handed to them on a silver plate. Now the narrative is that queer people aren’t “supposed to look a certain way” aka members who look “manly” are surely not queer. Yesterday again i came across a tiktok of a dude doing a prank to his BOYFRIEND, here’s what they look like :
Now don’t bullshit me on “this is not what i mean when i say manly” cause i know perfectly that this is the exact image some people picture in their head for how men looking like that can’t be gay. You want Jimin to feel comfortable enough to come live often, to share things with us, to see him perform, bla bla bla but how tf can he be comfortable with your sick asses when he can’t even be given a chance to be understood, to not put him under the projector?
People assume that you just gotta tell the world about your sexuality and that’s it, easy peasy lemon squeezy, such a happy world and everybody will be accepting yey
You don’t know the struggle of fighting to let yourself known to others without being put in a risky situation as a common person let alone as a celebrity in a very unforgiving industry, people tend to forget that it can be career threatening, so just for your own comfort you’ll have these men risking everything just so you can have that verbal validation?
I’m going back to the term “Queer coded” It’s called that way because there are “CODES” used by a person to hint to their sexuality and if your illiterate asses could spare 5 mins to google what that means y’all would’ve been 10 times smarter.
If you can’t support Jimin, or any member really, the right way, please see yourself out these 7 men really don’t need no more of these people as part of this fandom, it’s already hard with straight up haters and now they have to deal with supposed “fans” who can’t do shit correctly.
So please for my queer people, let's do our best to support and let our boy know that we understand we get it and we are sending him all of our love and for people who support the community and still understood Jimin and are supporting as well, thank you, thank you so much for being amazing, thank You.
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I think he wants us to grow up some...
Besides bringing up the topics of mental health wellness, the dangers of over-drinking and finding out Jimin can turn out bangers for songs, there were a few other take aways from this past week:
1. Jimin has introduced us to the fact he says “fuck off.” I bet he says it a lot. If I had to put up with all the bullshit he does, I’d be grumpy and yell fuck off a lot too. I want to hear him say it while he’s reading comments during a live. While giggling.
2. Jimin keeps prodding us constantly and subtly by showing us things that are queer. This is not new. There is a message there. At the very least, Jimin is interested in showing us different ideas about gender identity using his own performances. Try to comprehend. Google is your friend.
3. Jimin tried to gently introduce us to visuals of him being touched intimately by women AND men who are not the other members. Touching his face is intimate. Touching his torso is intimate. Sliding a hand up his thigh was intimate. It was a touching gangbang... ahem... okay, that word was extreme, sorry, where were we? Oh yeah... anyway.
4. Jimin has images of people making out in Like Crazy. People kissing. Each other. On the lips. Swapping spit and stuff...well, I’m just assuming that. I bet he’s done that before too. Rabbit spit is spicy.
5. Jimin partying in a club. With people. Dancing on the bar. Throwing back shots. Dancing with men who are not the other members. Maybe your eyeballs had probably fallen out of your head already so you might have missed it. Go find them and then go look at the video again.
6. Jimin is not afraid to show us his body art. However, he understands the power of teasing us and he wields that power deftly. But he sure wanted to show off his beautiful moons and he did. FINALLY!
I think Jimin wants us to grow up so he can show us the adult that he obviously is. I want us to grow up too so he can show us his adult themes. Stop telling any of them to what to do. They are grown ups.
#can we please retire cutie/sexy/lovely once and for all?#normalize bangtan adult themes#chapter 2 is a big thank god#maybe they are not the sheltered babies after all#in the bar dancing scene the people around him all had drinks#jimin was not holding a drink#jimin face#we're all adults here
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Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse Characterization and Loving Queer Men
Folks have been posting some excellent rebuttals about Akk and Ayan in response to the question: Are they acting out of character. I enjoyed @respectthepetty reminding us that they’ve always been this way. My fandom soulmate @shortpplfedup has been going off this morning about Akk, Ayan, Kan, and Thua. Fellow clown @lurkingshan has also posted about the lines between actors and their characters. What I want to talk about today is the misuse and abuse of the tools of criticism to just say the vibes were off for you.
I want to get this post out before I watch episode 2: I will say this clearly as we begin: It is completely okay to say that you had hoped for one thing to happen and are disappointed that it didn’t turn out that way. Xiao Zhan gave us the best way to express this:
What bothers me so much about the instinct to deconstruct the characters and accuse them of being out of character for me is that it can be disingenuous to the characters, the actors, and the creative team. With The Eclipse in particular, you can’t watch this show without accounting for the violent response to the Thai student protests or the fact that Golf was unceremoniously ejected from their role in government. Gold has been using their characters as a mouthpiece for their ideas about the intersection of the personal and the political, as well as the role social media plays in protesting and fighting for change.
I was saving some of this for when A Boss and A Babe ended, but I want to also get this off of my chest. I see the debates about whether something is Queer Cinema or Boys Love cycle through once a season, and for me the conversation doesn’t matter. They’re all queer cinema, but they’re not always romances, and sometimes they pull from different film and cultural traditions. The real distinction for me is in the viewers. Ask yourself if you also love queer men (and other folks) when they aren’t being sexy, titillating, funny, or entertaining? Do you love us when we’re ugly, when we’re sick, when we’re old, when we’re being mean or catty? Oliver Sim of the xx recently revealed that he’s been living with HIV since he was 17. He’s “ugly.” Do you love him less now?
I often see viewers recoil from emotionally difficult themes and plotlines in these shows. I don’t begrudge people their needs to engage with content in a healthy way, but I find myself particularly defensive of the pain queer men feel as a queer man. I personally hate being told to smile all the time and present a personable face so that other people will like us more. I don’t want to put the kids through that. They can have messy plotlines that require you to embrace someone else’s complex humanity.
With the Suppalo boys in particular, folks have joked that they’re “my favorite war criminal” and “his rat bastard boyfriend.” These are not necessarily kind people. I call Akk and Ayan “Captain Repressed” and “Mr. Bad Bitch Walk.” These queer boys are messed up, and they won’t be the best communicators for quite some time. They are sorting out themselves and what their relationship will be, and this is the crux of Golf’s messaging.
It’s okay to be frustrated with a plotline, truly. I just ask that you consider if the feeling the show is bringing out in you is an intentional part of the viewing experience before questioning the characterization.
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