Rewatching dead boy detectives and I love the music box that starts playing when Charles started hitting the night nurse. Like, the haunting melody went so well with the shock of what we learned about Charles' past and his sudden outburst (spiralling out of control, the feeling of the world beating down on you over and over and even when you try your best, be your best self, it isn't enough and there isn't anything you can do). And then morphed to something more upbeat/thrilling when she fell into the sea, followed by complete silence with Charles' breakdown. Oughhhhhhhhh

Hey just a heads up if you're going to Minneapolis Pride this weekend, if you pass a booth with people asking you to watch a video and they'll pay you a dollar, don't do it. They're a group like PETA that's trying to trick you into watching a graphic video about animal slaughter. It's a ten minute video of animal gore that they're trying to play off as activism. If you are any type of sensitive to gore, don't watch the video.

This isn't any sort of criticism of vegans or vegetarians, this is just a friendly warning about groups that want to show you animals dying and covered in blood. Regardless of your opinions on animal welfare, that's not okay to show to people with no warning.

I think the thing that's easy to forget about Arlecchino is that she is not the original Arlecchino. The one that set up the House of the Hearth, the one that greatly abused its members, the one that lied to Freminet about his mother, the one that brainwashed the members to be willing to give their lives for their family was the original Arlecchino, not the current Arlecchino. The current Arlecchino was previously a child raised by the House of the Hearth that succeeded the original Arlecchino through some kind of "serious clash."

The original Arlecchino was painted to be a very cruel person. She'd would greatly punish members that did not succeed in their missions. She lied to Freminet that his mother abandoned him, then used his mother's well being as a way to threaten Freminet into obeying. Going off of one of her subordinates actions, she would've been fine with the creation of orphans if that met taking them in to become later members of the Fatui.

When the current Arlecchino got into power, she changed many things. Where the previous Arlecchino wanted them to give up their lives for the family, the current told them that they must value their lives. Every single one of them was important. Where the previous Arlecchino would punish members for failing missions, the current does not do so, but chooses to give missions suitable to the person.

What I find really interesting about the current Arlecchino is that she is not without morals. When Lyney asks to receive a delusion to help his sister, though she does not react outwardly, her eyes were described to be full of "wrath." She then shows a startling amount of emotional intelligence and asks if that is what Lynette would want. When it comes to Freminet, not only was she furious upon learning he was cruelly lied to regarding his mother, what I'm shocked is she knew about his mother in the first place. She knew what his mother looked like. Freminet entered the House of the Hearth before she became Arlecchino, but she still knew. If you want to look deeper into this, this implies that she purposefully looked into his past and sought out his mother for him.

People may say she's acting. People may say she is acting "nice" to groom the sibings her way, but anger is not something easily faked. Those seemed to be genuine reactions. I do not think that was a lie. However, I'm not saying that she's not lying or manipulative either.

What the most important thing to keep in mind about all of this is what Wanderer and Childe have to say about her. They both fully state that she is insane. She has no problems betraying people. She seeks to control others. She is insane. No ifs, ands, or buts.

I'm just really curious to see how Genshin will reconcile this conflicting information about her.

((check the tags for more of an analysis on her that goes a bit deeper))

I went into the new Night Vale episode honestly thinking they were going to pull another "what do you mean the previous episode ended on a cliffhanger no no nothing happened" and we wouldn't hear of Kevin or the Boy in at least two years.

And then the episode was titled "He is still holding a knife" XD

TW Child abuse/manipulation general Belos shenanigans. No spoilers past 3x01, please don’t add spoilers for 3x02 to this post.

Sometimes I think about how Belos targets kids and why, because he knows that kids are still developing and don’t always understand right from wrong, and also it seems like he just likes being around kids more because he feels like he can control them. He’s very aware of what’ll upset Luz, what’ll make her mad, and what to say to her to get what he wants. He’s even more in tune with Hunter, he kind of trains Hunter on certain words like “replacement” that set him off. Hunter’s backstory that he gives in Hunting Palismen is probably almost word for word what Belos taught him to say (he always highlights how Belos gives him the staff which would be important to him as a half-witch but Belos also highlights that himself which feels... interesting, as well as the fact that it sounds rehearsed a bit, because Hunter trails off and then he remembers where to go next with “And then Belos found me”), and Belos definitely taught Hunter to respond to physical violence specifically from him with the freeze reaction which is fucking awful (ex. Eclipse Lake, Hunting Palismen- Belos makes a sudden movement and in both of these Hunter goes silent and still, and then in King’s Tide, Hunter freezes up and goes silent when Belos addresses him). Finally, the Collector he has less control over but it kind of seems like the Collector looks up to him and Belos uses that against him. The Collector gave Belos secret magic, and helped him create the Grimwalkers, in exchange in a lot of ways for Belos’ friendship. Belos and the Collector even pinky swore that Belos would let him out, and Belos abuses that and uses his position of having something the Collector wants to force him to help him. 

I don’t have anything to say about Darius because we haven’t seen them interact directly or alone and we don’t know much about their relationship other than their vague past when Darius was likely a minor so. Yeah. Probably won’t get elaboration on that at this point but this is a History.

*Sigh* Just thinking about the way toxic masculinity affects Harvey. The way it’s common to associate the gentler word “strict” when it comes to abusive fathers. The way being an overachiever usually stems from this need of approval from their strict parents high expectations. The way he represses his alter who usually shows more emotions. The way Two Face only shows emotions through acts of physical violence. There’s also how Harvey Dent’s lawyer side has been inspired by a pulp hero, who was the very same type of hero Batman is, and isn’t Batman just the pinnacle of toxic masculinity!

I ranted about this in a voice call earlier but I think I should put it into writing here, as well as some extra thoughts.

Have you guys ever thought about how we can kinda start to woobify abuse victims? Or at the very least like. Not give them agency or even actively take away their agency? I've had that happen before with Solita and it bugs me.

Deity is her abuser. But they're her parent. Her best friend. Her most hated enemy. Her purpose and her downfall. You can't just take them away without even consulting her about it. Or on the flipside, take her away. It's like if you took away someone from their abusive S/O or parent by force, without verbalizing and convincing them that 'hey, this person is horrible.'

Solita NEEDS the agency to walk away from Deity. If she doesn't, she falls back into a cycle of toxic dependency on someone else at BEST. At worst, when her ties are cut from Deity, she will flat out end her own life.

I understand the sentiment of wanting to save someone from an abuser. That's an entirely natural reaction. But if the person doesn't understand, or believes that they deserve better, where's the closure? That's not a satisfying end, is it?

Solita will actively place herself in the way of any attempt someone may try to rid her of Deity, so it's not like she's gonna stand by and watch. SHE'S the roadblock every single step of the way. Going behind her back is only going to break a relationship or plainly just break her.

Easy solutions sometimes make the situation worse. Taking someone from an abuser, no matter how right morally it is, can still just be kidnapping.

@goodjobsport said: "look at us, back where we started."

a sad, crooked smile crosses emily's lips. "we don't have to go in if you don't want to." the pizzeria looms over them, holding a different meaning to her now than she ever could have imagined. it had once been an oasis, then a place of decrepit memories, of fear and family and wistfulness and guilt. but now this is the place that she died. the place where her father killed her. she's alive, sure, but she hadn't been, for a few moments. that counts, she thinks. horribly, it makes her feel better. makes her one of his victims in a way that feels more real. like dying is a rite of passage, like she owes it to the kids, the other victims. and she does. when emily looks inside herself, she knows she does. "i just don't want to bring abby there if..." a deep breath shudders out of her. "if the kids are gone. and if--" she chokes back a wounded sound. when she speaks again, her voice is impossibly small. "if he's there."

it's a fear she rarely acknowledges. with the kids, it's a little easier. the thought of losing them had been painful, but with the pizzeria so completely out of reach, she'd had no hope of seeing them. emily has elected to believe they've been able to move on, to rest. she hopes so dearly that that's true, that they haven't had to be without her, that they aren't in pain. but if her father is there... her only hope is that he went with the suit. that his unfinished business is died to that damned thing and not the place itself.

the police–– the real police–– had been involved while she was comatose. mike had been the one to explain most of it to her; how with the revelations she'd provided about afton's crimes, a more thorough investigation had been carried out. the place was mostly cleared out, but the building still stood and technically belonged to her now. it's been months since the trial, all of which is a blur. it almost feels like everything must have happened to someone else–– not her, not emily, but vanessa. like someone she was in a past life.

standing here, though, it's all too real. back where we started. he isn't kidding.

gansey and blue realizing how much adams lack of familial love growing up has traumatized him vs

blues mother being there for her vs

adam learning to love and accept love in his found family

I got some cute art for my fanfiction and the artist went absolutely wild and added so much more than I expected! Please go check him out in the links below out he's an absolute joy to work with!

Lilligant and her best buddy Chatot is probably my unexpectedly favorite thing about this they are such cute buddies. The idea of Pokemon becoming bonded to each other as life companions is so cute, especially if they're nothing alike but still fit well together. (Dancer and singer)

(this is not an official scene from ACD it's just cute)

Artist links:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheNamelessDragon

https://www.fiverr.com/poppycartoons

Fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45643900/chapters/115089502

Major spoilers for danganronpa 2 ahead!!! (If anything said here is incorrect to canon, my bad. I’ve only played the first and second game and am currently on the 3rd trial of the 3rd game. I also haven’t seen the anime or any other bonus stuff. So if anything is incorrect, just take it as a canon divergence or something)

I don’t have the time or motivation to write this fic yet so I’m gonna put my overall ideas here and if anyone wants to write or do something with them, feel free to (with credit, obviously)

So I feel very opinionated about how Byakuya and Hiyoko should be best friends and that they’re the only ones who can truly relate to each others struggles family wise. So with that being said, just hear me out on this

Post danganronpa 2, the remnants of hope decide to return for a bit to the island after being informed that the others have woken up, basically to have them undergo some rehabilitation. All of them are making progress, opening up about what caused them to fall into despair etc, and working to be better people. And then there’s Hiyoko, who of course is still being actively rude to everyone, refusing to cooperate, continuing with her toxic behaviour, etc. All the remnants are getting absolutely sick of her behaviour and not knowing what to do. Enter Byakuya -I recognise this attitude- Togami who is like “yeah you’re all idiots, you’re not gonna get her to improve through kind words and trying to appeal to her. So Byakuya goes to Hiyoko, meeting with her alone to talk to her. Hiyoko naturally tries her usual insults but when she sees that he’s not affected and can even return such insults, and also that he isn’t affected by her fake crying, she loses interest. Hiyoko questions if he’s here to give her “anothet stupid therapy session” to which Byakuya is like “no, why would I do that? I already know everything I need to about you and you wouldn’t cooperate with me anyway.” Hiyoko just scoffs and tells him he doesn’t know anything about her, to which he responds saying how “your name is Hiyoko Saionji. You are from a very famous family, the Saionji clan, and as such you had a lot of pressure put on you from a very young age and your life was repeatedly put in danger because you were part of this family. You have witnessed more violence and malicious acts than most had at a young age. You have a strained relationship with your family, not being allowed to see a lot of your blood relatives and hating the ones who you could see. While you appreciate being cared for, you hate that you now don’t really know how to care for yourself as most of it was done for you. You put up walls and push people away as best you can as a defence mechanism, not wanting others to know how weak you really are. You felt the weight of your family’s expectations put on you at a young age and resent them for the trauma they inflicted and yet, despite that, feel completely lost now that they are gone and don’t know what to do next.” Hiyoko brushes him off, accusing him of being a creep and a stalker as she does, Byakuya obviously saying that he’s no such thing. Byakuya then goes to leave but as he does, Hiyoko asks what made him say all that, to which he simply responds “because I was no different” and leaves. Cut days afterwards and Hiyoko at first she denies any similarity between her and Byakuya, still insulting him. But slowly she starts to speak to Byakuya more, gradually opening up. Byakuya makes a point of repeating what Makoto said to him to Hiyoko and giving her space to talk about her problems but in a way where they’re able to relate to each other as opposed to putting Hiyoko on the spot, effectively making them equals as opposed to her being the only one being vulnerable. And for the first time they have someone in their lives who truly understands their experiences, not just sympathising or pitying them

Byakuya essentially becomes to Hiyoko what Makoto was to him, a source of hope and a sign that things can improve

i am sick and tired of the goddamn ads with the, yk, concubine princess noble something that suddently portray outright abuse.

im not triggered by them but its highly uncomfortable, so people with trauma may be even more affected by this AND I CANT BLOCK ADS.

ROLF “RIFF LORTON” LAUTMANN

womb to tomb wasn’t never a joke for me.

NAME: rolf “riff lorton” lautmann

D.O.B: november 6, 1939

AGE: eighteen

SEX: male

ORIENTATION: closeted bisexual

OCCUPATION: former mechanic, current gang leader

FAMILY: born to wilhelm and helene lautmann, no siblings. partners and children are verse dependent.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: short brown hair. blue eyes. skin is somewhat tanned but still on the pale side. there is a crescent scar under his left eye and other assorted scars scattered across his body. he has three tattoos, one of a woman on his right forearm, one of a skunk on his right shoulder and the word happy on his left shoulder.

EDUCATION: high school dropout

RELIGION: raised catholic, doesn’t practice

ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral/evil

ZODIAC: scorpio

PERSONALITY:

can’t you shut up for a single goddamn second?

nihilistic. stubborn. quick to anger. overprotective. reckless. fast talker (both figuratively and literally).

HISTORY:

Rolf Lautmann was born to Wilhelm and Helene Lautmann on November 6, 1939. The birth was a difficult one and the doctors said that it was a miracle Helene didn’t die. After Rolf was born, both of his parents decided that they wanted as little to do with him as possible. His mother was out all night, often with different men, and his father wasn’t much better. His father’s temper was the worst thing about his early life; he’d often take his anger out on his son, leaving him bloody and bruised on the kitchen floor.

When Rolf was twelve, he ran away. The police brought him home within the hour, so he waited until the house was empty and ran away again. This time, he hid in the dumpster in an alley. He was planning to wait until morning and use what money he had to buy a train ticket, but he was discovered before he could put his plan into action. Luckily for Rolf, he was found by Anton Wyzek. It was the beginning of a life-long friendship and a bond that everyone said was closer than the bond between brothers.

When the boys were fourteen, they started the Jets. They knew of other gangs and had decided to make one of their own to protect the West Side. Rolf had, somewhere in the time of him turning thirteen, started going by Riff Lorton. This was partly because he’d always hated his name and partly because it’d be harder for his parents to find him with a different name. Tony went by Tony, like he always had. The Jets grew quickly and soon encompassed the whole of the West Side. They were the greatest, as Riff liked to say, and nothing could tear them down.

tags

verses

it feels so scary getting old//verse - pre movie. (1939 - 1956). riff is born to wilhelm and hélène lautmann. his life is a living hell, so he runs away at twelve with the intent of catching a train away from new york. he hides in a dumpster overnight and is found by tony wyzek. the two quickly become inseparable and create the jets together at fourteen. the jets grow in size and tony and riff are on top of the world. nothing and no one will tear them down.

born to die young//verse - canon events of the movie. tony comes home and riff negotiates the rumble. everything goes to hell in a handbasket when tony dances with bernardo’s little sister. nothing good comes of these two days and morning dawns with three dead bodies and three grieving women.

one step ahead of the wrecking ball//verse - post movie. riff lives but tony is killed in the crossfire. riff is forced to deal with his guilt and the consequences of his actions.

when are you gonna grow up//verse - modern au. riff is your stereotypical bad boy. he doesn’t go to school much and generally runs around causing trouble. he still has the jets, but they’re more of a nuisance than an actual threat.

pretty girls wanting to dance//verse - 20’s au. riff runs a speakeasy and is constantly dodging the local authorities. he lives life on the edge because, really, is there any other way to live it?

you gotta get your story straight//verse - any and all interactions with muses that do not exist in the wss universe. this includes fandomless ocs. it does not include wss ocs.

ships

your beauty never ever scared me//otp: riff/grazi

stick to your own kind//otp: riff/maria

you are west side legendary//otp: riff/tony

i’ve held my breath since i saw her//otp: riff/johanna

i’m so in love that i might stop breathing//otp: riff/lucy

held hostage by my feelings//otp: riff/rosalia

come and dance yeah?//otp: riff/olivia

relax it’s a social mixer//otp: riff/susan

dynamics

womb to tomb//dyn: riff/tony

little man you’re a king//dyn: riff/the jets

we can powwow friendly like//dyn: riff/bernardo

i’m a paying customer//dyn: riff/valentina

miscellaneous

there’s dust on everything//aesthetic

hand to heart//headcanon

who cares who i am//faceclaim

TW: Mentions and descriptions of abuse, racism, suicide, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, medical information and description, trauma, guns, major MSQ spoilers. Post will be put under read more for triggers and length.

Disorders and Post-EW Injury

Rothalion has been greatly affected for many years by trauma and mental illness, and while I have off-hand mentioned one or two I've yet to narrow down just what his symptoms and triggers are. As well, I've recently considered some injuries that I would like to add following the end of Endwalker. Although not many they are things that give further reason to his retirement in most verses; there is only one verse where Rothalion continues his work as an adventurer.

Let's begin with the mental disorders he suffers from, as the majority are long-standing and only worsened between ARR and EW.

Rothalion suffers from PTSD, Depression and Chronic Insomnia and has since he was a boy. It began with the death of his parents to an incredibly traumatic disease when he was 7 years old and was quickly worsened as he was given over to his aunt and uncle to be raised. Neither individual wanted children, rather they had a strong hatred of children to begin with and due to the trauma of finding his parents dead Rothalion was far from the perfect angel. When Rothalion acted out in any way, no matter how minor, he was punished with violence. If he cried, he would be insulted and his worth diminished. Their favourite method of physical abuse was burning and the use of a small leather whip; lashes to the bare skin of his back were incredibly common and the biggest source of his extensive back scarring and nerve damage. For 11 years his body and self worth was broken for sick kicks or as an outlet for misdirected rage, and is the very starting point for his PTSD in particular.

With his exit into the world his experience was dampened very quickly. His home had been situated in a Duskwight settlement deep underground in the South Shroud and so his first contact with any of the city states was Gridania... a city state run rampant with blatant racism gone unchecked. It was here that he underwent further abuse at the hands of the Wood Wailers, and after a particularly bad encounter that landed him in prison undeserved and subject to further physical abuse behind closed doors, he fled the city and traveled on foot towards Ul'dah; he would later return to Gridania where ARR starts after saving gil for equipment and training.

Major events that caused further trauma and worsening mental illness include:

The murder and kidnapping of the Scions in ARR, the assassination attempt of the Sultana and subsequent betrayal of Ul'dah, Haurchefant's death in HW, his battle with a Nidhogg-possessed Estinien and the removal of the Eyes, Ilberd's suicide and the coldblooded murder of his followers, the death of Papalymo pre-SB, witnessing Y'shtola's near death in SB, battling Yotsuyu as Tsukuyumi, Zenos' suicide in SB, losing his friends one by one pre-ShB, witnessing the transformation of a woman into a sin-eater, defending the Crystarium from sin-eaters, reliving the destruction of Amaurot, nearly transforming into a lightwarden, almost losing G'raha to the Crystal Tower, finding the dead bodies of a young woman and her younger sister in the frozen wastes of Garlemald, having his body stolen and being forced to fight through chaos to reach his friends and protect them, witnessing and battling Anima, the Final Days and seeing people transform into monsters all around them, battling Hydaelyn, everything witnessed and experienced within Ultima Thule, battling Meteion, finally killing Zenos and nearly dying as a result.

With severe trauma often comes triggers and Rothalion is not without his own. Note that while they are triggers not all of them are consistent and always result in a reaction and some are more subtle and can be easily overlooked by a party unfamiliar with him. His triggers:

Anything that remotely sounds like the crack of a whip (Constant visceral reaction)

The visual of a whip (Constant intense reaction)

Illness, both that of his own and that of others (Constant intense reaction)

Firearms, both sound and visual (Subtle reaction)

Screaming (Inconsistent, intense reaction ; emotion behind the scream unneccessary. A happy child's scream is just as likely to trigger flashbacks as a scream of despair)

The scent of fire, smoke and even cooking (Inconsistent, subtle reaction)

Touch to his exposed back (Intense reaction ; trusted parties are more permitted to make contact and with some individuals he begins to find comfort in their touch instead. This requires a lot of trust)

The scent of decomposition, including that of produce (Subtle reaction)

Wood Wailers' masks (Constant subtle reaction)

The following are listed symptoms Rothalion suffers from each disorder; while many symptoms overlap from person to person they can be different as well and so these are just the ones Rothalion experiences himself.

PTSD Symptoms: Chronic nightmares of past trauma, reliving his trauma via flashbacks, negative thoughts about himself and the world, hopelessness about the future, feeling detached from others, bouts of emotional numbness, trouble sleeping and overwhelming guilt and shame

Depression Symptoms: Feelings of intense sadness, hopelessness and emptiness, sleep disturbance and insomnia, lack of energy, reduced appetite, anxiety and restlessness, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and suicidal thoughts

Chronic Insomnia Symptoms: Trouble staying asleep, frequently waking too early and being unable to return to sleep

_________________________________________

Post-EW Injuries

At the end of Endwalker the WoL is so badly injured they nearly die, and Ro is no different. While he is saved by his friends, nobody on the ship is a chirurgeon and so for big injuries that require surgery he is forced to wait. The following are his worst injuries that could not be fixed through healing magic alone and therefore leave symptoms that only further convince him to retire as the Warrior of Light.

Kienbock Disease: A disease in which bloodflow to one or more of the small bones in the wrist is disrupted and causes the bone to die. His symptoms include pain in the wrist, pain amplified by gripping, difficulty moving the wrist and hand weakness. His left wrist/hand is affected, and while he can still use it he cannot lift heavy objects without struggle and wielding a 2-handed spear is incredibly difficult.

Osteonecrosis (Hip Bone Damage): Painful and progressive damage of the hip joint caused by lack of bloodflow. This was caused by a fractured hip that could not be surgically fixed until reaching Old Sharlayan. His symptoms include severe and worsening pain in the hip and groin area, thigh pain, deep and throbbing hip pain and pain in the knee. Due to pain, he now has a deep limp and occasionally walks with a cane.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: A disorder causing sudden lack of energy that is made worse by physical or mental activity but does not recover from rest. Originally believed to be from a lack of sleep, he realizes later after 8 months of consistent fatigue that it is something else entirely. Suspected to be cause by stress and extreme physical trauma his symptoms include fatigue, problems with memory and concentration, dizziness that worsens when moving from lying down or sitting up and standing, unrefreshing sleep and extreme exhaustion after physical and/or mental activity.

In only one verse Rothalion does not retire after Endwalker, although he still suffers the same disorders and injuries. In such a verse he goes out of his way to put himself through physical therapy far more than in his other verses, and while his stamina is not the same as it used to be he does manage to make a nearly full recovery.

When song lyrics hit a little too hard

How are some of you stupid enough to circle back around to "women have privilege" and "women are more likely to be believed with abuse allegations" ? Have you not been paying attention? Have you ever looked at a single statistic? We live in a deeply misogynistic society that would rather put a horrible man on a pedestal than have a shred of accountability or, god forbid, fact checking. Fucking clowns.