#men are insecure too. men have expectations placed upon them too
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Olive Green Couch | Spencer Reid
description: when your best friend drags you to a party to meet a boy she's been fawning over, you find yourself completely bored and unimpressed- good thing you've stumbled upon a strikingly handsome (yet awkward) young graduate student named Spencer who seems equally as unhappy to be there to share your misery with.
pairing: grad school! spencer reid x f! reader
content: uhh mostly fluff, drinking, reader is described as wearing a mini skirt and wearing high heels.
word count: 4,242
If I have to hear one more Weezer song I'm going to be sick. You think as the slow drums of Undone pour out over an all too expensive speaker system for a frat house.
The MIT frats were nothing like you experienced before, they were- for lack of a better term- a complete and utter sausage party. You can't remember the last time you'd seen this many men in a single room. If you weren't so bored maybe you would appreciate this as a reprieve from the usual maintaining "ratio" of the state school frat parties you'd been to. But even now you'd prefer that if it meant you wouldn't have to deal with another sloppily drunk man explaining the plot of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to you. Rich, pretentious, too smart for his own good MIT frat guy or dude-bro, alpha male, business major state school frat guy- it didn't matter; they were the same side of the same misogynistic coin.
You look down at the shot-glass sized solo cup in your hand, staring at the clear liquid inside. Maybe just one more shot and you'd finally start to enjoy the state you were in. You hoped maybe six shots would be the perfect number of drunk to enjoy yourself. You screw your eyes shut and throw back your head as you lift the cup to your mouth. The cheap vodka burns the second it touches your tongue, and you wince as you feel it travel down your throat and to your stomach. Your body shivers involuntarily as the warmth in your belly grows.
You face forward again, looking across the living room for your best friend- the one who dragged you here in the first place. You had suggested bar hopping or trying to get into a club, you didn't buy her a fake ID for no reason. But she insisted on coming here instead. Here- to this sweaty house filled with... well... dorks. She came here looking for some guy- Michael... Matthew... Miles.... shit, you couldn't remember. It didn't matter, you were here now, and she had ditched you to fend for yourself.
You take a step forward and all the alcohol you had drank prior seems to hit you a once, "Woah" You can't help but say out-loud as you catch your balance and wait for the room to stop spinning.
You take a few more wobbly steps forward before acclimating to your new, tipsy state. You make your way through the dimly lit house, trying to find your friend amongst the crowd and rowdy conversations. Observing the bodies that populated the house you suddenly felt insecure, and insanely overdressed- why was everyone wearing jeans and a t-shirt? Maybe a mini skirt was the wrong choice for tonight.
You make your way to a back room of the house, occupied by maybe only 10 people by your inebriated brain's estimate. There's an ugly looking olive green couch in the middle of the room- it' had obviously been through a lot but and you hated to imagine what had happened on that couch over the years, but right now it looked like the most comfortable thing in the world. You walk over and plop yourself over onto the couch, the cushions having a lot less give than you expected.
The beginning riff of Someday by The Strokes plays just outside of the room, and you groan- turning to the guy who you had just realized was sitting next to you.
"Do you know who's Dj-ing this fucking thing- can you tell them to play some Britney or something?" The words fall off your tongue, sloppily.
The boy sitting next to you turns to look at you, a confused look drawn upon his face, "Huh- me?"
Shit. He's kind of cute- In a dorky sort of way. His brown hair is perfectly unkempt, and small curls form at the back of his neck. His jawline is sharp, and his hollow cheeks accentuate his prominent cheek bones. His eyes are dark, and he looks a like he hasn't slept in years- you figured with the workload MIT students probably have- it would make sense if he actually hadn't slept since getting there. Truth be told, all things combined he looked a little sickly- he was obviously lanky maybe scrawny was a better word- his button up shirt seemed a little ill-fitted for his body, and his tie poorly tied. Still- you couldn't help but notice he was hot. The first hot guy you'd seen all night.
"Yes, you, pretty boy." You smirk.
His face reads as even more confused upon your clarification.
"Oh um," He looks down at the half-drunken beer that sits between his legs, shakes his head before looking back up at you, "I-uh I don't know the DJ, and I- um, also don't know who Britney is." He responds, a small nervous tremble in his voice.
"Spears?" You let out a small laugh, "You know like- Hit Me Baby One More Time." You half sing.
"Oh-" He looks off to the side, "No" he faces you again.
"Go figure," You scoff, still, keeping a smile on your face. "Say- are you in this frat?"
He shakes his head, "Oh- no, I'm a grad student."
"A grad student?" You respond, your eyes widen in shock no shot the man you were looking at right now was any older than you. "How old are you?"
"21" He responds, almost nonchalantly- like it wasn't some insane feat. "Well," He clarifies, "I'm actually in my third graduate program, I already have a PhD in mathematics and chemistry, from Cal Tech. I'm working on my engineering one now."
"Jesus," You smile, "So what, you're like some sort of genius, huh?"
"Well, I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified- but I do have an IQ of 187, and an eidetic memory, and can read twenty thousand words per-minute."
You stare at him in awe for a moment, "So, a you are a genius?"
He gives you a small smile in response, "Yeah- I guess." He nods.
You're suddenly intrigued, only twenty-one years old and already a doctor twice over.
"So what brings you here Doctor...uh..."
"Reid," He nods and presses his lips into a line. "Oh! But, don't call me doctor you can call me Spencer."
"Well then, what brings you here, Spencer?" You correct yourself with a smile.
"My friend- uh he wanted me to come with him, he's meeting some girl here and he didn't want to go alone. I kind of got dragged along."
"Well," You grin, "It must be fate that we're here together on this ugly green couch, because if you could believe it- I'm here for the exact same reason except my friend- she's uh, meeting a guy here."
Spencer takes a small sip of the beer he had been holding, wincing as the liquid touched his lips. You figured he probably wasn't much of a drinker, he probably had things much more important on his plate than getting drunk and partying.
"Not much of a partier?" You ask to confirm your suspicions.
"Mhh," Spencer hums, mouth still full of beer, he shuts his eyes tight as he swallows thickly. "No." He shakes his head violently. "What gave it away?"
"Oh!" You bite your lip... "Nothing!" You say, innocently, voice steeped in sarcasm.
"It's okay," He laughs, "I know I look like a dork."
His laugh is infectious, and you can't help but smile in response. And Damn- he's really cute.
"Oh! Don't say that," You swat your hand at him, "I'm sure you get tons of ladies."
Spencer tilts his head to one side, in obvious disbelief of what you just said,
"I don't really appreciate the sarcasm," He says, his eyes narrowing at you.
"Sarcasm?" You pout, "No- I mean it Spencer, what you're like a genius. And I mean- you're not bad to look at," You bite your lip, "Not at all."
Spencer shook his head, "I was a child prodigy in a Las Vegas public school, and until now, I've always been way younger than everyone in college- my experience with girls is practically in the negatives."
"Oooh!" You smirk, "Vegas," You raise an eyebrow.
"Mhm," He takes another sip of his beer, his face more relaxed this time.
"You think I'd make a good showgirl?" You wink
"Oh- um," Spencer is suddenly blinking rapidly as his head scans you up and down. You can't help but feel a little bad at the way you have him flustered,
"I'm kidding! You don't have to answer that." You reassure. "Negative experience with girls, hm?"
"Yeah- I-uh, I haven't even had my first kiss yet." He says, looking down at his lap, refusing to make eye contact with you.
"No?" You say, still shocked, even given his prior explanations of his experiences with women, "Well..." You start, pausing for a moment, "If you ever want that to change let me know." Maybe that last part was meant to be a joke, but truth is you kind of really hoped he said yes, right there, right now.
"What?" He looks back up at you, eyebrows furrowed, "No- I don't need a pity kiss. I don't even know who you are."
"It is not a pity kiss, and I'm y/n, I go to UMASS, the Boston campus- like 15 minutes away. I'm 20, and uhhh... Well, the rest you can find out later." You wink, "Now you know me!" You smile, perking up from your spot on the couch.
"Well- uh. Nice to meet you y/n" He gives you an awkward tight lipped smile. "Are you- um- enjoying your night."
"God no," You scoff. "Does that make two of us?"
Spencer nods, side moving his eyes to look around the room. It had gotten significantly more crowded since you'd came in here, you hadn't noticed, you'd been too focused on getting to know Spencer that you kind of forgot you were at a party to begin with. It didn't seem to matter now anyway, you were intrigued beyond belief and wanted to know more about Dr. Reid.
"So, why'd you leave Caltech? The weather is certainly a lot nicer than it is here," Your body physically recoils at the thought of having to go back outside to the brisk New England fall after the party was over.
Spencer shrugged, "You can only get so many degrees at one place before you need a change of scenery. I've been at CalTech since I was like- fourteen."
"Fourteen?" Your eyes widen, thinking about what you were like at fourteen. You certainly weren't CalTech material, that's for sure. "When did you graduate high school?"
"1993," He smiles and nods, "Twelve years old"
Spencer had a charming humility about him, he was the smartest person you'd ever met but he spoke in a way that made it feel like it was every day that someone could graduate high school at 12 and have two PhDs by 21.
"What do you plan on doing after college with that pretty head of yours?" You ask, your slightly intoxicated brain unable to stop you from instinctively reaching out and fluffing his hair. Spencer's eyes flick up towards your hand and he gives you an awkward smile paired with a small laugh.
"Well- I uhh... I've been in contact with this guy- well from the FBI, the BAU... Behavioral Analysis Unit. We came into contact after my second dissertation, he was shocked at how young I was, having done so much- he suggested I come to the academy when I was done with this one." Spencer explained, he talked in a way that made him seem unsure of himself, like he, himself didn't fully understand how it happened.
"God," You muse, "The fucking FBI? Could you get any cooler?"
"You know," Spencer remarks, "I think that's the first time anyone has ever used to word "cool" to describe me." The tone in his voice is light, it's clear he's happy about that fact, but you can't help but feel your heart break at the statement.
"Cool even sounds like a little bit of an understatement to me. But you know... I think I'm a little too intoxicated right now to think of a synonym, so cool it is!"
"Do you have any plans for after college?" Spencer asks, nervously running a finger around the rim of the glass in his lap.
"Nothing as cool as the FBI," You shrug, "Actually, nothing concrete, really. Has me feeling a little inadequate in a room full of geniuses."
"Oh trust me," Spencer scans his head around the room, "Not all of these guys are geniuses."
"Well- they're complete nerds at the very least." You giggle.
"I think I qualify as a nerd too." Spencer smiles back.
"Oh you definitely do," You say, scooting closer to him, taking the beer glass out of his hand, "But you haven't tried to talk down to me about some movie everyone's seen, or some album everyone's heard like I'm some dumb idiot bimbo yet." You huff, finishing what was left of the liquid in the glass with a single gulp. You slam the cup down on the coffee table in front of you, "And even if I was a dumb idiot bimbo- what makes them think I'd care about whatever they'd have to say about OK Computer. We've all listened to Karma Police, big deal!" You realize you're getting a little heated over this and cut yourself off, "Anyways," You smile, "What I mean is you don't seem like some self important loser."
"Oh," Spencer furrows his eyebrows, "Thank...you?"
"Do you want to get out of here?"
"Y-Yeah, Yeah we can go." Spencer nods.
You stand up from the couch, wobbling a little bit as your legs lift you up. The room, is blurry, for a moment all you can see are vague blobs of color instead of people. You shut your eyes tight, blinking them open to fix your blurry vision. You glance over toward Spencer, who's grabbing a tan suit jacket that had been draped over the back of the couch. He slinks the jacket on over his thin frame.
"You alright?" He asks, concern in his eyes. He must have been able to read the drunk all over your face.
"Y-Yeah I'm fine, lets go," You nod, reassuringly. You could handle your liquor, besides you hadn't drank that much tonight.
The two of you head for the door, wherever it is. Spencer was leading the way, and you hoped he had a better sense of direction than you did. The music is suddenly a lot louder as you exit the room you were in, and you suddenly feel a lot drunker. The sudden change in feeling causes you to stumble a little, bumping Spencer in the back. High heels and alcohol were never a good mix.
"Oh- hey," Spencer stops suddenly, turning around to smile at you, "Are you sure you're alright?"
You look around the room, at the hoard of people, the room thick with a combination of weed and cigarette smoke. You've never felt so lost in your life when did it get so crowded in here? The obnoxious yelling of frat guys mixed with the music turned to a volume you were sure would get the cops to show up is absolutely ear-splitting.
"Can you hold my hand?" You ask Spencer, needing his guidance more than you realized.
"Uh, yeah, yeah." He nods. You reach your hand out for Spencer to grab, and it takes him a few times to correctly slot his fingers between yours. You smile a little, watching him try to figure out the perfect hand-holding position. He couldn't be more pathetic if he tried- it was kind of adorable.
Spencer's hand is warm, a little sweaty against your palm. But his grip is tight and reassuring as the two of you walk the rest of the way out of the house.
As soon as the front door opens a brisk wind hits you, nipping at your exposed flesh. Goosebumps already dot up and down your skin, the only warmth you feel is Spencer's hand wrapped around yours, and you knew that warm sensation would end as soon as his hand got cold too.
With a little hesitance, you step outside to brave the cold. Your heels click as you carefully make your way down the concrete steps in front of the house. You stare down at your feat as you make each movement, fearing accidentally rolling your ankle or falling. You'd probably take end up Spencer down with you.
"Hmm," Spencer hums, noticing your trepidation, "Here," Spencer untwines his hand from yours and places an arm around your back, reaching to your other side, but barely touches your other arm, just holds firm enough for you not to fall.
You reach the bottom of the stairs, thankful for Spencer's help,
"You don't have to hold me so far away you know, you can pull me a little closer." You turn your head to look at him, "I mean it is kind of chilly out."
"Oh-uh," Spencer's arm pulls to hold you just a little bit closer, "Better?" His grip is still pretty weak around you, and you sigh.
"You know, Spence, I'm still pretty cold." You frown, staring down the suit jacket he was wearing.
"Do you want to go back inside? I didn't even have a full beer the entire time I was there- I can go get my car real quick and drive you home if you want. It's only a block or so away." Spencer responds, his voice quick, and nervous- it was obvious he was eager to solve the problem of you being so cold.
"No," You laugh, shaking your head, "I'm cold is kind of girl-code for, you should give me your jacket."
"Oh!" Spencer laughs, "Oh- I'm sorry, yeah- here, here have it." Spencer speaks earnestly as he slips the jacket off of his shoulders. He shivers as the loss of the fabric leaves him in only a thin button up and you can't help but feel a little bad for asking him to give it to you. But he hands you the jacket with a smile on his face, which lingers even after you put it on. It provides a marginal amount more of warmth than what you felt prior.
"Better?" Spencer asks.
"Mhm," You nod, "Thank you."
Spencer only gives you a tight lipped smile and a nod in response.
"So," Spencer starts as the two of you begin walking, his hand slipping into yours almost instinctually, it catches you a little off guard, and you feel your cheeks run hot at the gesture. "Where are you headed?"
"Oh- uh, back to Boston I guess," You squint your eyes, thinking, "I usually take the bus, the stop is up that way." You point up ahead in front of you.
"Let me go with you," Spencer says quickly, "I mean- not to your place, but let me ride the bus with you, I don't want you going by yourself."
"Why not? I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." You retort, trying to hide the fact that secretly, butterflies are growing in your stomach at his eagerness to take care of you.
"I just want to make sure you get home okay." His hand grips yours tighter.
"Okay," A small smile draws at your lips, you don't want to fight him on it anymore, truth was you'd love nothing more than to spend a little bit more time with him, even if it was a short bus ride.
The streets of the city are utterly dead, not a sound to be heard except the whistling of the wind and collision of your high heels and the pavement. You wonder what time it even is, how long had you even spent at that stupid party?
The bus is just as empty as the rest of the city. When it arrives, nobody but you and Spencer are on, the two of you sitting patiently under the bright fluorescent lights for the bus to move. The lights are straining on your eyes, and the horrendously carpet-patterned seats might hurt your eyes even worse.
"What stop do you get off at?" Spencer asks, being the one sitting the closest to the button to let the driver know when it's your stop.
"University Drive."
The lights dim as the bus driver pulls away from the stop you'd been picked up at, and you're able to relax your eyes once more. You let your eyes relax until all of a sudden they're closed and then-
"Hey," You feel your head being jerked, "We're here."
"Hmm?" You grumble, slowly opening your eyes.
Your stomach drops, and you're absolutely mortified to see your head is rested on Spencer's shoulder. You whip your head off from where it laid and quickly stand up from the seat.
The bus ride was fifteen minutes, you couldn't believe you fell asleep. Much less fell asleep on some guy you barely knew. You're a mess of worry as you exit the bus, thinking about how awkward you probably made Spencer feel. You're so caught up in your thoughts you barely notice how cold it is as you step outside.
"Hey, look, I'm right over there." You say, pointing to the large dorm building behind you.
"I'll walk you to the door." He smiles, and your panic immediately slides away.
You walk with your head down, looking intently at the sidewalk under you as you head forward to your building, trying your best to keep in a straight line. You had to admit, you were pretty upset your time with Spencer would be ending in just a few short minutes from now. You tried to scheme up a plan to get Spencer to stay longer, but no ideas would stick to your brain. You sigh, crossing your arms across your chest as you approach the front door.
You whip around to look at Spencer who's trailing just a few inches behind you.
"Well," You sigh, "I guess this is it." You pull your mouth to one side in a small pout.
"Yeah- I-uh, I guess so," He shrugs, "I had a nice time tonight, thanks for, making my first party experience a lot better than i was expecting." Spencer's hands are shoved into his pocket, and he rocks back and forth while he talks, unsure of himself as his eyes dart all around you.
"Of course," You grin, letting your hands drop down at your sides, "Say," You cut yourself off, and shove your hands into the pocket of Spencer's coat, fishing, until you find what you were hoping for. You pull out a pen from one of the coat pockets, and grab Spencer's hand. "I want to see you again before you become some big tough FBI agent." You smile, scrawling the digits of your phone number on the back of his hand. "Call me sometime?" You hold his hand up for an extra moment, before letting it drop back down.
"Mmmhm, yeah," Spencer bobs his head up and down vigorously.
"Okay, good. Goodnight Spencer," You smile, giving him a small wave.
"Goodnight y/n" He smiles back, as the two of you turn around to go your separate ways.
You notice as you turn back around that you're still wearing Spencer's jacket, part of you has the urge to call out to him to give it back, the other part of you wants to keep it- if he wants to get it back, he'll have to come see you again.
"Wait! Y/n!" You hear Spencer from just behind you. You frown a little, thinking your plan to keep Spencer's jacket had been foiled and he was calling to get it back from you.
"Yeah?" You whip your head back around.
"Did you mean it when you said to let you know if I wanted to have my first kiss- and that you'd change that I've never um-"
"Uhh..huh," You responded, a little to eager as an uncontrollable smile began to tug at the ends of your lips, "Are you asking me to kiss you Spencer?"
"Maybe," His voice breaks, unable to look you directly in the eyes.
You raise one eyebrow, "Maybe?"
"Ahem. Uh- I mean- yes."
Before you know it, you're tugging at his tie, pulling him close to you. Your lips are on his, just a peck at first, Spencer is hesitant. He is unsure of what to do with any part of his body, his lips move carefully, his hands unsure of just where they should be, they rest on your hips- before they move right under your shoulders. You make the decision to tilt your head and deepen the kiss. Spencer's lips are soft with inexperience, he has absolutely no clue what he's doing, yet you can't get enough.
The two of you pull away slowly, neither one of you wanting to give up the kiss- but you eventually have to surrender to the night and to the cold. You place one final peck on Spencer's lips.
"Now you have to call me." You giggle, unable to hide your excitement.
"Yeah-yeah," Spencer nods, eyes wide, his lips are shiny and his cheeks a pretty shade of pink. "Absolutely."
"Goodnight Spencer." You say once more, before turning around to head inside.
A/N: whew! when I tell you I spent all day writing this i mean all day! that's okay though... im obsessed with grad school! reid. anyways..... thinking about making a (potentially smutty) part two to this ;-)
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x yn#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fic#criminal minds#matthew gray gubler#spencer reid x f! reader
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. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 THE DRINK IS OF SORROW, KISS IT OFF MY LIPS ; a osamu dazai fic. ❞
˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . ahhhhh!!!! deleting your account on accident isn't smthg i'll recommend, this is the downfall to my popularity. :/
˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; sugar daddy!dazai, sugar baby!reader, fem!reader, sensitive!reader, crybaby!reader, reader is insecure and speaks about her insecurities, reader has abandonment issues, reader is shamed of her sensitivity, reader is twenty while dazai is in his late twenties, tease!dazai, riding in a club, angst, hurt to comfort, fluff, nsfw, and yeah that's it ig.
the cold breezes giggled as they watched the leafs on trees dance as if to flirt with them, the cold breezes showed their appreciation to this flirty gesture by blowing around and making the people they passed to shudder.
you hummed to yourself as you swayed your hips around to the song playing on your phone while trailing your index finger through the different lipsticks you owned, trying to choose the perfect one to go with your outfit for today.
as your finger hovered above the shade you carefully picked, the door bell rang and made your head to turn in its direction, a smile on your face as your excitement competed with the fluttering in your heart and you had immediately abandoned your dressing table to rush towards the door, opening it with a big smile on your face, expecting the one dear to your heart and sanity to be standing on the other side.
he wasn't. rather it were his bodyguards who you saw and your smile faltered slightly but not enough to make them think you are displeased with their presence.
the two bulky men bowed halfway which you mirrored before they entered your house and only then did your eyes fell upon their hands which grabbed many shopping bags, all distinguishable for they all belonged to famous brands which are deemed too expensive for people who fall in the same category as you for its as if luxuries and enjoyment is made only for the rich as only they can afford most of it and the ones not belonging to the same class and category as them? they have to compromise, to gain this luxury they must loose something else, the choice is entirely their's however on what to loose and what to gain.
you watched, still standing at the door, as the two men gently placed the many bags on your couch before turning to walk out after bowing to you again which you again mimicked.
as you closed the door, your phone began ringing and although still a bit bummed, you walked towards your dressing table, eyes falling down on your phone whose screen flashed the name of the person who was but a magician for how else will you explain the reappearance of the giddy feelings inside you.
you immediately pick the call and bring it near your ear, eyes closing at the soothing voice which is a hypnotizing lure to you speaking from the other side.
"got your gifts baby doll?" the calm voice wrapped in a teasing tone and a slight purr between his words caused you to raise your thumb and allow it past your parted lips before your lips enclosed your thumb and you gently bit on it, smiling.
"thank you." your voice matches the same calmness his greeted you with and you hear dazai hum, the low sound making your skin feel cold as a chill runs down your spine. perhaps love is really in the air today or maybe it's your expectations for today that has you seeing everything with rose tinted glasses or maybe it's simply the effect dazai has on you.
"happy birthday, sweet doll." dazai's soft voice makes your cheek pain a bit because of the big smile on your face, then you hear him sigh and shuffle on his chair a bit and with the next sentence he spoke, his voice had lost its teasing element and rather adapted a serious tone -- all because you laid your expectations and hopes out in front of him, waiting for him to pick them and treasure them like he usually does.
"when are you coming here?"
"as much as i want to be there, to hold you in my arms while kissing those sweet cheeks of yours . . . i don't think i can make it till late at night. a sudden and urgent meeting came up and i can not possibly miss it, my presence there is essential."
"you . . . won't be coming, will you?" small, meek and reeking of sadness and suddenly you aren't twenty but ten, sitting alone at your birthday party as no one showed up -- but that's nothing compared to now.
after going two weeks without seeing dazai, you hoped and you revealed this thought to him too of how much your heart will swell in gratitude if he shows up for even half an hour on your birthday, it would be more then enough for you.
the way dazai sighs, you don't even have to actually wait to hear him for your heart had already dropped to the deepest pits of your stomach and the intrusion made your stomach churn painfully, influencing your chest as it too felt like it was being compressed by the nimble yet atrocious hands of sadness.
"baby doll, i am sorry." his soft voice only fuels the sadness in your heart more, your eyes land on your reflection in the mirror and you nod,
"no, it's fine. really." you mutter but both you and dazai knows your words are baseless and meaningless for they were spoken as a formality.
"i really wanted to be there, trust me. i'll try to wrap up the meeting soon but i still won't be able to come there until ten --"
you are thirteen again, watching your mother make excuses for your father leaving and then you are fifteen, watching your mother's bestfriend making excuses for her sleeping around with different guys and being absent in your life.
"you don't need to come, it's fine." you watch in your reflection the sadness pooling in your eyes in the form of tears, biting your lip harshly to warn yourself to not cry now, tilting your head as suddenly your lipsticks lined up on the dressing table is a sight which annoys you.
dazai sighs again, running a hand through his hair. "baby please, trust me, i am so sorr--"
"it's fine." you rush to cut him off as you end the call for you don't want to hear his voice now.
"what even is the use of coming here later? i don't care anyway. it's fine, he is busy." you speak to your reflection in the mirror as you feel your throat burn, staggering forwards before you open your drawer and place your lipsticks inside it again.
"but . . . i would've dropped everything for you if it was your birthday." you whisper as you close the drawer and walk towards the couch behind which is the open kitchen as the two rooms have been combined in one to increase the space, a dining table just a few steps forwards and said dining table was your main source of attention today.
yet the thing is, the man for whom you will walk through seas and deserts isn't alone, he has a big corporation behind him who depends on him as well and so, he needs to consider them as well for one mistake on his part will not only affect him but the many who work under him too.
and who is a businessman if not a slave to his business?
you pick the two plates up before putting them in the cabinets again, doing the same with the wine glasses and then taking the dish you cooked in hopes of having dinner with him today and walking towards your fridge to put it inside but the sight of the cake box which you wanted to cut with dazai makes your lip quiver.
for who is a common man but not he who desperately tries to find happiness in small moments and interactions?
"stupid birthday, stupid sugar daddy." you grit your teeth as you slam the door shut, the movement was caused due to the intense frustration and disappointment you felt and as you trudge towards your bedroom, you pass by your couch where the shopping bags were placed neatly, a mockery, a blow to your heart and a massacre on your hopes and expectations.
why does your house feel so cold and unwelcoming? are your walls laughing at your loneliness right now? especially after how you were frantically trying to find the perfect dress to wear today at near midnight? he is going to leave soon too, isn't he?
everyone does.
but since when did dazai become like everyone else or are these just your fears fooling you, you wonder.
the first few drops of tears flowed down like the warning waves of a tsunami in its beginning states, you speed walk towards your bedroom and plop down on your bed, running a hand up and down your arm as you rock back and forth to calm yourself down.
dazai is your demise. he gave you so much love and attention that he filled the hole left by your parents with his own love and look, now how affected you are with his absence even if it's temporary.
but dazai is also your paradise or how else will you explain why you are imagining him backhugging you as you rub your arms to comfort yourself, the many times he stared at you with wide eyes filled with utter adoration or how he immediately drops everything and surrenders himself in whatever way you want him to whenever his eyes fall upon your glossy eyes.
it's him who spoiled you and it's him who encouraged you to cry and throw a tantrum at him whenever he hurted your feelings for dazai osamu is a mean man but oh lord, what a lover he is.
does he not see himself in you, the fragile child of him who was forced to be forgotten as he wore the mask of the arrogant bastard he is now?
does he not heal parts of himself in the process of healing you too or does he not try to find his humanity in the most humane emotion he feels which starts from his love for you and ends on his love for you?
dazai osamu is the man you want to never meet again right now but he is also the man on whose lap you want to bury your head in and cry right now.
but he isn't here and he won't be here for as long as he isn't done with his meeting and the fact that you aren't his first priority but his meeting is will continue to poison your brain with sadness till then.
looking down at the light pink silk dress reaching till your midthighs, you pucker your bottom lip as you remember how hard you tried to look extra preety today for the man whose thoughts follow you like misfortunes following orphans, addiction following the druggie and sorrow following the poor.
your silk dress with spaghetti straps and a slightly low neckline to tease the observer with the slightest sight of your clevage was all for dazai but what use is it now that the said man himself isn't here?
"stupid daddy. fuck him and fuck his meetings." you mutter, wanting to step out for fresh air for as long as you stay inside your apartment, your eyes would fall on the shopping bags and it'll only carve wounds in your flesh as the sadness would giggle before looming over you and stabbing you to let frustration and disappointment enter your body.
though you had many ideas of celebrating your birthday today, sitting alone at the bar of a club wasn't one of them but here you are, hands on the counter and around your wine glass as you rotate the glass to watch the liquid inside it splash around the glass.
how many hours has it been already? you aren't sure, you had switched off your phone too to not be bothered or disturbed by messages from anyone for your mood is sour and lashing at someone undeserving of it is the last thing you would want to do.
you felt the presence of someone next to you as you could hear someone sitting down on the empty stool.
"why is it that such a young girl like you is sitting here all alone?" a voice came from beside you, curious and amused yet you paid no heed to the speaker for your wine glass and the liquid splashing around is the greatest wonder for your somewhat drunk mind.
"why, am i not allowed to be here?" your voice matched his gentleness to let him know that just like him, you mean no harm and hostility.
the man laughed and if you weren't so drunk, would you have still liked the way his laugh reverberated in your ears and made your heart flutter?
"oh dear! that isn't what i meant. i am just curious as to why such a preety girl would sit all by herself, looking so gloomy? had a breakup?" voiced the man who you still haven't looked at for you didn't deem anyone else as important as dazai and if it isn't dazai then why bother looking?
but his voice, the man beside you must be a siren or why would you find your heart at peace as his words enter your ears?
"absolutely not. i am just a bit sad."
"your boyfriend ditched you?" why is his voice laced with a teasing undertone? is he finding your source of gloom to be perhaps an entertainment?
"kind of though it isn't intentional and this is what makes it worse. he didn't mean to yet i am still so stumped over it like a kid. this sensitivity of mine is something i am ashamed of and loathe." your eyes harden as you begin to glower down at your wine glass making it shiver in fear or perhaps its your own hand that is shaking as it sensed the turmoil inside you.
"why?" the man's soft voice urges you to continue forwards.
"it's not the fact that he couldn't make it that's upsetting me but the fact that i am not his first priority -- it's selfish of me, immature even but it is still the truth and this is what i am ashamed of. it's not his absence but my own ungrateful attitude that is making me ashamed for am i not overstepping my boundaries? am i not being greedy? should i not be content with the attention and affection i already get?"
with the finishing of your confession, you inhale a shaky breath before you add the very last of your feelings to this confession which is being expressed to a man whose face you couldn't even bother to look at,
"i am just so hopelessly in love with him that every single thing he does affect me and i am sure this feeling is one sided. i mean . . . when would even want to stay long-term with such a clingy person. it's hopeless! i am hopeless and i wonder why people leave me when the answer is so damn clear. a kid, i am." you scoff in self mockery, gulping the remaining wine which you were previously playing with before the man sat beside you, you place the glass on the counter as you blink one too many times to keep your tears at bay.
"you say you are a kid but with the way you speak, you are anything but a kid. after all, kids don't drink in sorrow, do they?" the joke cracked by the man made you smile for reasons unknown to you and maybe you don't even want to know the reasoning behind the way your lips curled up into a small smile.
"you calling me a kid too, mister?" your amused voice coming out as a tease makes the man next to you chuckle a bit.
"you admitted it yourself so what harm is there if i call you one too?"
"i will cry mister." you playfully threatened him.
"is the little doll trying to make me feel like the bad guy now?" the man's voice couldn't betray his amusement as he nearly chuckled at you antics.
you smile, raising your head to look at him for you want to see the face of the one who is lifting your mood up but you feel the cold dread of a possible confrontation approaching as for the man who sat beside you was none other then the man who was the very reason you find yourself stumbling into this club to attempt to drink your sorrows away, a very futile attempt it proved itself to be.
the said man sat with his elbow propped on the bar counter, cheek resting on his palm as he continued to look at you with an amused smile dancing on his lips, a glass of whiskey in his hands as he raised the glass to his mouth, parting his soft lips before gulping down the liquid as the liquid flows down his throat, adam's apple bobbing with the movement.
you quickly turn your face away from him, opting to stare at your now empty wine glass instead, a frown evident on your lips to let the man know of your displeasure upon seeing him but your fingers twitching in excitement under his hard gaze told him all he needed to, after all, can you ever be really angry at the man?
a black hole opens up in your stomach, sucking in your energy and everything else and the remains is the gloom settling on top of your irises as the conversation from a few hours ago, your excited state before receiving it played in your mind like a broken record who suddenly started working after being forced to by a sudden force.
"did anyone ever tell you how adorable you look when you are sad?" he mused and raised his eyebrows at the lack of reply, nevertheless entertained. he tried to grab your nape but you slapped his hand away midway, making dazai raise his eyebrows yet again.
"who are you? don't you know it's not good to talk to strangers?" your reply comes out as more of a snap for all the pent up emotions and feelings are now forcing their way out, seeing as you wouldn't let them out yourself. you clench your thighs slightly together to not notice how dazai is staring at you with gentle eyes or how he ran his hand through his hair.
"we are strangers?" dazai cocked an eyebrow before he grinned again, the same cocky grin which you are itching to remove off his face yet it is this same grin that is making butterflies enter the black hole in your stomach.
"but dolly you'll never have someone as handsome as me talk to you so how can i be a stranger? i am preety confident that my face isn't one to be forgotten soon yet you did? oh, how cruel of you to wound my heart like this!" dazai pouted in faux offense mixed with disbelief before he took one of the ice cubes from his glass ; setting the glass on the bar counter, dazai scooted his stool closer to your's.
"mister it seems as if you have had one too many drinks. you sound drunk with the bullshit you are spewing." you scoot your stool an inch at most away from his but dazai does the same with his as he speaks,
"then shouldn't you be a good girl and help this drunk old man?" dazai sees you scooting your stool away again and chuckles silently, grabbing the edge of your stool to restrict any further movements as he leans near you, dropping the melting ice cube inside your dress and down your clevage making you yelp, the ice leaves a trail of water and coldness behind as it flows down your chest and onto your stomach.
you bow your head in embarrassment as it attracts the attention of the bartender near you two who was serving another customer before you turn to look at dazai, glaring at him when you hear him giggle like a schoolboy.
"isn't it clear that i do not want to talk to you?" you snap.
"you don't want to?" dazai raises his eyebrows and sees you nod, he then proceeded to lean closer to you, lips inches away from your ear, licking it only slightly to make you shiver, which when you do, made him smirk in self satisfaction.
"but i want to talk to you," dazai placed his index finger on your exposed collarbone as he lightly traces it with his nail before letting his hand trail towards your shoulder. man, he really does want to take this dress off of you but he can't, not when you are still upset so for now, he'll just try to be content with caressing your collarbone and watching the area he touched be littered with goosebumps.
"i also want to make you sit on my lap and kiss you," he continued, hand now gripping your shoulder as he drags it up and down the length of your arm, you could only gulp.
"but since you don't want to talk to me, i guess i won't force you, i am somewhat of a gentleman after all." and he immediately retracts his hand which along with the way he sits back straight makes you miss his presence being near you, you look at him though your face remains blank as to not let him have his satisfaction upon seeing you reacting in anyway. dazai turns to his empty whiskey glass and takes the small, nearly melted ice cube between his fingers.
"thank you, now leave too." you hiss, closing your eyes when dazai yet again drops the ice cube on your clevage and you are once again forced to feel the temporary freezing sensation of the cube gliding down your chest and onto your stomach. when you opened your eyes again, you saw dazai leaning a bit too close to you to be considered appropriate given the place you two are at, but isn't the club the most appropriate place for this as well. for the club is practically one of the houses of heartbreak and of lust and the castle of mistakes and of fun.
"and let these other bastards think they have a chance with you? i don't think so," dazai mumbled out, eyes staring down at your lips before trailing back up to your eyes again as he grinned, cockily, "besides, i can sit wherever i want and right now, i feel like sitting here. it's comfortable here, i wonder why?"
he extended his arm forwards to wrap it around your waist to push you closer to him, the flat of his palm resting against the silk which worked as the only barrier against his skin and your's, dazai only laughed as you tried to push his chest to create distance but did you really need any when he clearly saw the way your breath hitched when your arm brushed against his chest. his other hand is holding your elbow in place to stop you from trying to push him away.
"maybe it's because you are here?" dazai hums as he taps his fingers against your hip but would you not falter and would your heart not throw the anger away if he continued to give you the touches you so crave?
"i really think you are only spewing bullshit right now, don't you know you are bothering me?" you raise your eyebrows at him as you smile sarcastically, as if challenging him and his ego, to edge him on till he has no choice but to remain silent for no words would formulate in that witty brain of his ; this is what you want to achieve at the very moment when you began to speak again.
"am i getting you all hot and bothered now, doll?" dazai grinned, tilting his head in such a way that caused his bangs to fall over his eyes while his thumb caressed your hipbone, going up and down to flatten the fabric clutching against your skin.
"do you not know the concept of someone not wanting to talk to you or were you always ignorant enough to think everyone would die to talk to you?"
your heart fluttered. the pressing down of dazai's thumb on your hip indicated you are somewhat succeeding in irritating him but is he dazai if he lets others get to him when it is always the other way around?
absolutely not.
"i mean, isn't it the truth? people would actually sell their souls to devil to have one chance with me. so if i may say so, you should consider yourself lucky, baby doll."
confidence in himself had always been dazai's weapon and it has always been your weakness.
your smile faltered, whatever determination you had in your eyes suddenly left you once again and you dropped your head, looking down.
had his words been the ones to bring you back to reality or were they the key to open your door of fears and insecurities?
"right. lucky." you smirk bitterly, nodding as you look away from him again. "so was not meeting me for two weeks your way of telling me to always remember my place or something? because it worked." you chuckled but it was humorless and one look at the serious expression on dazai's face only proved the point further.
ah fuck, dazai felt his throat being gripped. he can't breath suddenly with the way your eyes look so glossy, bottom lip jutted upwards slightly to form a small pout, should he lean in and kiss you now?
your vulnerability was always something that dazai cherished greatly.
"and i'll rather die then ever forget my place agai --" your eyes widened, words left hanging on the tip of your tongue and heart left unsheltered when your ribcage opened up to allow the hands of love to rip them open.
because this is how you feel emotions. strongly and dangerously. a threat to yourself because daddy was never there to properly teach you to feel things and mommy never knew how to control her own emotions, how could you expect her to help you?
you closed your eyes, perhaps due to the intimacy of the moment or to hide your eyes burning with tears, you won't try to find meaning behind your gestures and actions now when dazai is greedily devouring your lips in a heated kiss, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed as if trying to prove himself and his point but what?
your hand raises to grab his shirt collar and to pull him forwards because you want more, you want to drown yourself in this kiss. you want to feel nothing but the movement of his lips against your's ; his hand on your hip which slithered down to grab your thigh harshly and tug it closer to him to ultimately pull you closer to him, his other hand which was resting by his side until this moment is now gripping your jaw to guide you to tilt your mouth so he could kiss you better.
you felt the black hole in your stomach being overpowered by arousal and what does a vessel do when it reaches its limit?
so the arousal flowed down towards your lower torso and decided to settle there, marking its territory by making your slick run down and stain your underwear.
"shut up, shut up, shut up." dazai chanted in a low tone against your lips because he wants you to feel every word which will leave his lips.
but how can you focus on his words when he looks so good with your lipstick stain around his lips, you lean upwards to press a quick peck on his jaw and when you pulled back, you saw the light lipstick stamp there as well, making you feel a bit giddy knowing those are your lips which were against his skin once.
dazai grabbed your chin to force you to look at him, pulling your chin to have your lips against his again.
"can't you fucking sit and look preety for me? is that so hard? who told you to run that dumb brain of your's?" he tightened his grip on your jaw, biting your lower lip with enough force to make your body twitch as you inhale sharply due to the pain and suddenness of his action.
"do you think i didn't want to meet you? i was ignoring you on purpose? you think i didn't want to abandon my work and come to you? i thought about it almost every single day but what can i do? i am not alone, my actions aren't mine alone." dazai pauses to release a chuckle and the way it makes the hair on the back of your neck stand for the way his lips move against your's with every word he speaks makes your stomach tingle and your heart to abandon every grudge and anger at once to bow down to him.
the way he is looking up at you with those brown pupils which holds the sweetest honey and the most earthly comfort makes your brain to close its eyes and turn away, letting your heart take lead once again.
and your heart will die but it won't stop now, it knows the sudden rush of courage is because of this intimate moment and perhaps this moment won't have the same impact if it repeats itself another time so it blindly takes the chance presented to it.
"you are the source of my pain and longing . . " you mutter, voice cracking as your hands greedily claw at his shirt to grab the fabric to ensure he won't run away, looking at him with narrowed eyes for the tears in them makes it hard to keep them open.
oh fuck, no, don't look at him like this. it's making it harder for him to sit straight, he could almost feel the blood rushing to his dick.
"but you are my cure, doll. don't be so cruel to me. it's my first time in love too. i make many mistakes -- intentional and unintentional but bare with me? please?" dazai whispers, eyes turning to crescent as he smiles in defeat.
if your heart is taking the lead in you then so is his, so cheers to the dance of your hearts which aren't afraid for the first time.
dazai is confident but he doesn't love himself so how can he freely love you?
and dazai knows you have neither love for yourself nor the confidence but you have love for him and as selfish as it may sound, he likes the way you love him, the way you devoted yourself to him for if not you, then who will love him in this big world?
children are born just fine without knowing the feeling of love, it is the love their mother shows them or the love they see between others in their growing years that makes them long for it too, to wish for it as well. dazai is no different.
he wants love. you give exactly that to him because daddy was never there to receive your overflowing love, but dazai is and he welcomes it with open arms.
"because i am immature! fucking immature and dumb and clingy as hell and --" you purposely bring a stop to your overflowing insults as you take short breaths to bury your incoming sobs in them, your hands grabbing his shirt fabric shook as you tried to bury your wrath for yourself within the chambers of your body, " -- and you are so amazing. you are basically husband material and many women would die to be with you and many are better then me, more experienced then me and what do i have to give to you? i don't even know how to love properly and i am insecure even though you give me no reason to be and i just ruin everything with how sensitive i am and i . . . i just don't want you to leave me, thinking of me as immature and not someone you would want to be with because you deserve so so much better." at the end of your confession, you are left breathing heavily before you squint your teary eyes to stop the air from hitting and making them burn.
your head falls forwards on his shoulder with the last sentence leaving your lips after which followed the soft and small sobs, hands wrapping around his waist as you let the anger be converted into sadness for you would rather cry to dazai then be angry at him.
"stupid doll," dazai sighed and this made you sob harder before he tapped your hip, "come here, come on my lap." he leaned his head down to whisper in your ears but sighed adoringly when you shook your head, trying to nuzzle your head even more against his chest, he only patted your back as the other grabbed the back of your head to keep you pressed against his chest.
"aww glad to know you are still my cute crybaby because with the way you were angry, i thought for a second that i was actually done this time. preety doll, you actually made me sweat a bit." dazai pretends to sigh in relief but chuckles when you weakly lift your hand to smack his chest, holding your wrist as he raises your hand to his lip to kiss the back of your palm.
"when someone is crying mister, you ought to not crack lame jokes and stuff --" your words are once left hanging on your lips when dazai lightly smacks your hip, tsking as well though there is a grin on his face.
"it's daddy for you, not mister."
"i don't go around calling random men daddy." you lean back as you wipe your tears away, chuckling in embarrassment due to crying in a bar of all places but when you look up at dazai, you see him pulling a small box out of his pocket which distracted you or else you would've finally gotten the satisfaction of seeing dazai poke his inner cheek with his tongue at your words. your teasing along with the sexual frustration he feels is just making him go insane at this point, that is, if he won't take care of it soon.
two weeks without you were a challenge and you better be glad that dazai had enough self control to not pounce at you at the very moment he saw you sitting all alone at the corner of the bar, strap of your dress slightly pulled down as you weren't aware of it to pull it upwards.
a navy blue velvety box which he opens to reveal a pink diamond pendent with a white diamond outline, he picks the chain with his index finger before he stands up, takes a step closer to you and without speaking anything, he places and secures the diamond around your neck, where it's rightful place is.
though the gentle facade only lasted so long before dazai hooked his index around the very same necklace to pull you forwards in a jerking motion, his other hand placed on your thigh as he caressed your revealed skin, leaning his body down to whisper in your ears,
"my doll must've drank too much to forget me it seems. not to worry, i'll remind you who i am." raising one hand to let one of his guards know to come here and pay for your drinks, dazai's hand trailed lower till it rested on your elbow and he began to pull you with him towards the area of the bar reserved only for those of higher society who wish to be far from those prying and lingering eyes of others. for isn't the club meant to be an escape for everyone despite their status.
you look at dazai's back covered with his black blazer and you can't help but imagine taking it off him followed by his shirt and then his belt before finally moving to his pants.
"eye-fucking me may bring you pleasure but you can wait a few minutes for the real deal, right doll? or are you that horny that you wish i would take you right here, right now?" well if you weren't aroused before, you surely are now. the purr in his voice between his words were directed to make you feel all hot and bothered combined with that playful sing like tone of his, dazai knows what to do and when to do to get you all worked up.
like a bee being lured towards nectar, you couldn't help but silently follow dazai as he nodded at the bouncer before you two were allowed inside the vip section where scandals, affairs and controversies happen in every nook and corner but stays between the four walls of the separated section from the rest of the club building.
dazai takes off his blazer to reveal his white shirt before he looks back at you and throws his blazer around your shoulder, his hand trailed down to now hold your hand before he kissed the flat of your palm again and began to pull you with him.
is that the famous a-list actor getting a lap dance on the very far right? you think so but aren't sure as you weren't able to get a good look at his face, not that your mind would allow you to look around and get a glimpse into the lives of those who portray themselves as someone else on television with the way dazai's thumb is rubbing your knuckles.
"you aren't overbearingly clingy or i would've told you so, didn't i tell you i like when you act freely like a kid around me? it doesn't matter if you act like a kid or --" dazai leads you towards the very corners before he sits on one of the two maroon velvety u-shaped sofa. " -- immature because as i said, i enjoy knowing you feel comfortable enough around me to be this fragile. i like knowing this fragile doll is mine to take care of. and over sensitive? rubbish."
dazai scoffs at the claim before he tapped your butt and then his thigh, leaning back on the sofa while spreading his legs apart as he smirks and when he does smirk, you feel a shiver of lust travel down your spine.
dazai tilted his head as he watches you take the blazer off your shoulders before you move to sit and straddle his lap, he places the blazer around your waist area and bottom as he tied the sleeves around your waist before he pushed the fabric of your dress up.
" -- good girl. you aren't over sensitive. even if you were, it would have been fine. i am not a coward to not handle my girl's emotions, yeah?" lithe fingers grazed your jaw before they grabbed your chin and tucked it upwards as if to make an emphasis of his words, dazai may be smiling softly but the way his other hand was between your thighs as his knuckles grazed your clit made it clear what is going on in his mind.
"and who even told you that i will leave you for someone else? if that were the case --" dazai grabbed your hips with both of his hands and began to move you back and forth on his crotch, relishing in the hiss you released, "-- wouldn't i have already done it? i don't like wasting my time on stuff i do not deem important."
dazai looked up to make sure you are listening to every word leaving his lips and when he saw you biting your lip due to the friction he is causing, he tsked before lightly smacking your breasts,
"use your ears and hear what i am saying, hm? are you listening to me, baby doll?" dazai raised his eyebrow at you.
"yeah daddy," you could only mutter, looking down to make sure your slick hadn't tainted his pant but when dazai saw you doing so, he humped upwards to tease you.
the response from you which was a small whine was seen in a green light as dazai hummed, leaning his head down to have his lips on your collarbone, a shiver ran down your arm when dazai parted his lips to let his tongue tease your skin, "you can't go around acting as if you aren't worthy of my love. that's disrespectful to me doll, you get me?" dazai kissed your collarbone, slowly moving upwards towards your throat as you could only hum out in response.
"just like it's my first time in love, so is your's," he leaned in to peck your lips quickly.
your breath hitched when dazai kissed your throat before moving upwards again. is it getting hot in here? or is this the carnal urge to remove your clothes and bend on dazai's lap?
"so don't go around thinking you don't know how to love and stuff because i don't as well but in the same way, we really don't know how to really live too but we still try, making many mistakes and most live life imperfectly --" dazai kissed your chin, then began to trail kisses down your jaw before your hands trailed down to trace the growing bulge in his pants and he hissed, grabbing your palm and raising it towards his lips to plant a kiss on it.
"-- but the thing that makes them have pride in that imperfect life of their's is the fact that it's exclusively and uniquely their own. in the same way, our love may not be ideal, it may not even be right but it's ours, reserved and understood by only the both of us so --" dazai let's go of your hand but you were done with being sad and miserable alone, so your hand reaching out to cup his cheek also meant reaching out for dazai to take you, to protect and take care of you like he always does.
"-- don't be scared of making mistakes, our love is ours to live and not a romance story to be told to generations to come." dazai smiled, looking up at you as he placed his hand on top of your's and tilted his head on your hand. "lift yourself a bit for me, preety."
the low murmuring made your pussy clutch around nothing in particular, you placed your hands on his shoulder before lifting yourself enough to have dazai slip his hand under to fiddle with his belt, hooded eyes watched the man's fingers unbuckle his belt, pull the zipper down after which he lifted his hips upwards as well to be able to remove his cock from the very last confinement.
"sit," dazai had mumbled only after spitting on his dick a few times, index finger raised to push your panties to the side to reveal your glistening cunt clutching around nothing.
he smiled. then flicked your bud to see you widen your eyes in surprise, he could drown in these reactions.
you lowered yourself on his dick as his finger kept your panty pushed to the side, you closed your eyes to embrace yourself for the incoming pain of him pushing himself inside you but you really underestimated your own arousal for the moment you sank down, dazai's dick entered your cunt without much problem though he did have to guide his dick inside you as you were taking too long for his liking so he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you down.
now you were thankful for the loud music blasting in the club or else your little yelp would've definitely made some heads to turn your way.
"daddy be gentle --"
"sorry sweetie," dazai cooed, as he cuts you off as he heard your whimper, caressing your cheek with his knuckles, chuckling as he lets you get adjusted to him, "but i need to prove to you that no one else's pussy could drive me so mad, yeah? daddy gotta let his sweet doll know just how much he loves her and her pussy and how great you make me feel when you cum on me, hm?" he cooed yet again.
you bite your lip, nodding. and you had to bite your lip again in shyness when you felt your walls clenching around his dick making him hiss as he closed his eyes.
dazai thrusted upwards once to let you know to begin moving, you placed your hands on his shoulder as his came around to wrap around your waist while the other pulled you forwards by pulling on the pendent around your neck, you gripped his shoulders to stabilize yourself as you begin to move your hips to and fro.
a small moan left your lips, the warm dick inside your walls reached spots that weren't touched for the past two weeks and you soon found yourself bending to this pleasure.
you raised yourself up a bit to have his dick sliding out halfway before you sat back down again, a choked whimper left your lips and you repeated the action again while dazai's hand made sure to hold his blazer against your waist to make sure no one else sees what is supposed to be only his.
choked whimpers and broken moans had found path to escape through the gaps between your pursed together lips and none went to deaf ears for dazai tried to savour the sound of every single one, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the wall as he closed his eyes to make the moment just more intimate for him. to not be able to see anything but only hear your voice and feel you bouncing up and down on his dick drives dazai towards the edge so when you saw this, you couldn't stop yourself from raising your hand and gently placing it over his eyes to cover them.
"oh shit," he groaned lowly, squeezing your sides in a comforting manner as you continued to bounce up and down without as much as batting an eye at anyone who could accidently glance your way and see you two, "and you really think i would go to someone else. you've never been more wrong, my doll."
dazai lazily smirked, letting you go at your own pace as your fast and short breaths were all he could hear along with the occasional moans which despite your resistance, broke free and escaped, being a treat to dazai.
he grabbed your hand and pulled it down towards his lips to kiss it once before letting your hand fall on his shoulder, gripping it to stabilize yourself as you bounced.
"baby doll, is this the best you could go? i am pretty sure you could do better, right?" he would lazily open one eye to tell, grinning as you nodded and almost stumbled over your words as you tried to formulate a reply,
"should i go faster daddy?" were you really the one who was crying a few minutes ago? dazai wouldn't have believed so if it weren't for the evidence on your face -- the eyeliner and mascara running down and that including the way you are parting your lips as you spread your legs a bit has dazai nearly throbbing.
he leaned forwards to litter kitty licks and small kisses on your neck and collarbone before he began to suck on whatever portion of skin his lips grazed.
a whimper left your lips as you tilted your head back to give him more access and freedom to paint your skin with his marks, dazai had enough of letting you take the lead.
"my doll can't even fuck herself on me. guess i gotta do that myself." he hummed and teased before dazai opened his eyes and sat straight, grabbing the back of your thigh and pulling you even more towards him and you were nearly dying in anticipation of his first thrust because no one does it like him or well, no one could do you like he could.
but he doesn't.
instead dazai sighed as he stayed inside you, leaning his head down to hide it in the crook of your neck while his hand played with the diamond on your pendent. he kissed your neck, then licked it once before sinking his teeth lightly onto your skin and didn't react when you gasped out softly.
dazai didn't move till he was sure his teeth left a mark on the side of your neck, he sat straight after that and reached into his pant pocket to pull out something but what he pulled out was a mystery to you as dazai tugged on your pendent to pull you closer and immediately slammed his lip on yours.
he didn't kiss you. he immediately sucked your bottom lip before biting it and as you closed your eyes momentarily due to his suddenness, dazai's hand extended upwards to place something in the middle of your clevage-- paper, but not the normal kind, it seems if you base it all on your institution.
but you haven't seen the world as much as dazai did and he knows it just as well as you do so his hand hovers above your knee which he gently taps.
it's when you open your eyes again to look down at the paper whose shape gives it away what it could be that dazai saw you smile for the first time since your last meeting and man, did it make his heart to forget its basic purpose of beating.
"you really didn't think i would let you cry on your birthday, did you?" dazai scoffed playfully, an eyebrow raised as he stared at you who was examining the two flight tickets before looking up at him, eyes wide in excitement.
"it's for greece." you whisper out but dazai only hums out in disinterest as he seemed more focused on untying the sleeves of his blazer around you before tilting his head at the clothing, you allowed him to assist you in wearing the blazer.
"indeed it is, three days after today." dazai murmured, leaning back to be in a more relaxed position as he blushes a bit.
the same man who won't even bat an eye while you are cockwarming him does find himself blushing at the sight of you wearing his blazer, only the neckline and a bit of your clevage present to tease him, diamond pendent resting on you -- it's as if you are a gift waiting for him to unwrap you.
"i . . . you'll wait till then? you can, right?" he whispered.
"you are the source of my pain and longing but you are also the medicine to heal my wounds --" you correct your claim from earlier as you tear your gaze away from the tickets and look at him instead, raising your hands to wrap around his neck as you lean onto him, the slight movement of you leaning forwards was an attempt to produce the tiniest bit of friction but dazai didn't mind, "i saw some realllllly cute stockings daddy, they had like bows on them and stuff." you told, looking up at him.
"yeah? where? will you wear it for me next time?" dazai smiles as he raises his hand to caress your cheekbone with the back of his hand, "preety doll," he cooed.
"i will," you nod.
"so the little doll finally recognized me? am i daddy again now?" dazai grinned, teasing.
"don't make fun of me daddy, you should be on your knees and begging for forgiveness for making me cry so much today." rolling your eyes didn't mean much when the smile on your face was oh so clearly visible to dazai.
"ah, my baby doll, such a bad man i am!" dazai dramatically gasped, pulling your pendent to pull you towards him as he kissed your forehead before he tilted his head to capture your lips in a messy and wet kiss and when he spoke against your lips after the kiss, his words were accompanied with the deadly combination of his fingers moving towards your thighs and settling in between them after which they stretched to find your clit before he began to rub your clit with his thumb, not minding your small moans and gasps of pleasure and rather to fuel you more, he began to trace your folds with the fingerpad of his index finger,
"won't you let daddy make it up to you? in my car? if you cum five times, i promise you'll go to greece with an entirely new wardrobe."
━━━━━━━ 💋 end.
#bsd dazai#bsd#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#dazai x reader#dazai x you#dazai x fem reader#dazai x y/n#dazai smut#bsd x reader#bsd x you#bsd x y/n#bsd fanfic#bsd fandom#bsd smut#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs fanfic#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x you#⋆˚࿔ nie#for you angel 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33
Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33
(Im totally not self projecting)
ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!
sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.
so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.
the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!
it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.
“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.
you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”
you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”
you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.
as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.
insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.
ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”
the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”
and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?
as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.
“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.
ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”
two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.
ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”
abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”
“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.
and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.
“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”
you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.
no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”
“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.
“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.
“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.
ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”
yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂
#ellabs x reader#ellabs#ellie willams x reader#abby anderson x reader#ellie x reader x abby#ellie williams drabble#abby anderson drabble#abby drabbles#ellie drabbles#tlou fluff#abby anderson fluff#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fic#abby anderson fic#abby anderson x you#ellie williams x you
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heyy!! i loved your story "Breeding Team" and was wondering if you could do a part 3. where the reader gives birth to lots of babies? thank you<3
New Additions
Poly Pack - Complete
Synopsis: The pack welcomes three new members
Didnt see this being a 3 parter by, hey. The kids dont have names cuz i suck at naming things
CW: Non descriptive childbirth, soft buff military men crying, fluff, domestic fluff, pregnancy, hurt/comfort?, semi insecure reader, crying, sexual themes, implied sex, i legit forgot i added graves to this, mainly Kyle, Alejandro and Roldolfo centric cuz i love them, and they need more fics (not me with several WIPs about those three), my back hurts after this.
AO3 Previous
Your morning usually consisted of having at least one or two, maybe more depending on how busy everyone is, of your mates cuddled up against, bare skin to skin contact which they insisted upon after your little meltdown. The warmth of the bodies laying next to you seeped into your bones, settling deep within you as it calmed your nerves. After your most recent doctors appointent, you found out you were having triplets, three little ones due at any moment, at anytime. A DNA test was scheduled to see who the fathers are, mostly to calm down the bickering and fighting that eruoted once it was found out that their omega was expecting, all wanted to the be the father of the first litter as a pack. All wanted the gender of your children to be a surprise.
You were convinced they had bets going on on who the father, now fathers, are. Each showed their love for you and the unborn pups in their own way, talking to your stomach, bringing what cravings you had. It was definitely not the trying to get ahead on imprinting on them early.
They took turns staying in the nest with you, keeping you in the middle incase something happened. Today it was Alejandro and Rodolfo's turn to be in the nest with you, they often their turns in pairs:
Ghost and Soap.
Price and Gaz.
Alejandro and Rodolfo.
König and Graves.
It was sufficating having eight men constatly at your side at all hours of the day, if one was working one would be tasked to stay with you. If all were busy you'd be told to stay put in one of their offices, not allowed to leave without one of your alphas company. Their protectiveness only grew as the due date came closer.
Hoping for some quiet and alone time before the two men woke up, you slowly climbed out of the bed to the best of your ability, picking up a shirt that belongs to one of the guys you found on the ground, non of your clothes have fitted you in months but one of the perks of having more than one partner is someones clothes are bound to fit you.
Your legs sore and trembled with each step you took, despite being pregnant with triplets that didn't curb your independence, or your hormones or theirs, you'd sometimes spend your days and nights carefully being laid or bend over something, slowly fucking into you, making love to you, having you cockwarm them, worshipping you like a goddess, filling you with their cum again and again. If needed, fucking each other while you laid and watched if you were too tired or the thought you couldn't take it, watching how the men fight for domainince, sometimes playfully before getting stuffed and fucked brainless by their equal counterpart.
Waddling your way to the conjoined bathroom to relieve yourself and wash up, wanting nothing more than a nice, warm relaxing bath. After using the toilet and washing your hands, you sit on the side of the costom built bathtub, leaning over to the taps to the best of your ability to try and place the plug in the drain but the massive swell of your stomach made the task difficult.
Sitting on the side didn't work so you tried sitting inside the tub, you could barely get the plug in before the strain in your arms became too much, you were getting frustrated that your alone time was dwindling bit by bit. Tears started to line your waterline, sitting in an empty bathtun built to accommodate at least four people. You just wanted some peace and quite.
To get away from the over-pugnet alpha smell.
To breathe.
A soft knock on the door rips you from your thoughts, alreting you that your alone time was up. "I'll be out in a minute" you call out, using handles at the side of the tub to assit in getting out, setting your feet on the soft bathmat placed beside it. The feeling of worry carries through the shared bond. "I'm fine, just needed to clean up a bit" hoping your excuse is enough to settle the man outside the door.
"¿Cariño?¿Puedes abrir la puerta?" The voice you recognised as Rodolfo, softly asked, allowing you enough privacy but keeping you close, as close as a bathroom door would allow. "What's happening, You can talk about it, mi amor" Rudy asks, knocking on the door again. He twists the door handle, to find out himself you locked it. His knocking became more adamant, determined on entering and ensuring you're alright.
"God, I'm fine! Can't I have five fucking minutes of peace for once! Just fuck off and leave me alone!" You scream, the frustration finally comes upfront.
Rodolfo's footsteps were heard turning and leaving the bedroom, the bedroom door faintly shutting, leaving you alone, like you asked, and unclear if Alejandro is still asleep or up and doing whatever tasks and chores he needs to do. Leaning against the cold tiled wall, you ease yourself down onto the floor, finally letting the tears flow. How the boys stayed calm and stuck with you all through all this beyond you. They were important and busy men, they could have anyone to warm their beds and carry their pups. Why choose you?
Double set of footsteps could be heard re-entering the bedroom, stopping outside the bedroom door again. Faint whispering between whoever was out there, followed by yet another knock, "Love, can you open the door?" Gaz. Sweet, loving, caring Kyle. He was the most calm and understanding of the eight of them, always able to talk you and ease you out of your more emotional moments. Bith stood on the other side of the door, trying to coax you to open it or get you out the bathroom.
After a few moment of nothing, and the barrier remaining in place,the Mexican and British men they try a different approach.
Rudy sighs, clearing his throat, "You can talk from in there, sí, sólo dinos qué pasa" his soft voice ringing in your ears, conern threaded deep into his tone.
You could see the image of his worry lines and cute, pippy-like expression in your mind, guilt or bile rose in your throat, the acidic smell hit your nose causing you to gag, the pups in your stomach moving around, kicking and pushing your skin from the inside didn't help.
Against your better wishes, using the wall and sink to get back up and steady yourself, you slowly make your way to the door and unlock it, using the handle as a aid when the pups kick again. The puffiness in your eyes evidence enough of the crying. "I'm sorry" you whimper meekly, keeping your head down.
Kyle opens his arms and pulls you into a hug, stroking your hair as you sob into his shirt, Rodolfo puts a hand on your back, rubbing up and down in an attempt to sooth you. Both felt guilty over not knowing what happened and if they caused it, if they missed something.
Did they fail as partners?
The man to your left gives a quite kiss to your head "Estás bien, estás bien, estamos aquí, está bien" he whispered to you in his native tounge, "what's wrong? Did somethinh happen?" he softly pressed, carefully tip-toeing around to ensure there isn't another breakdown.
Sniffiling, you shake your head no. burrowing further into the warm body in front of you. "I want wanted a bath and alone alone time. Didn't mean to shout." you whisper, voice hoarse from crying.
"Oh baby, it's ok" the British alpha reassures, "Why don't we run a bath while you sit here and a relax, hm?" he asks, gentle as ever.
The bedroom door opens unexpectedly, the smell of freash food fills your senses, a gruff but sweet voice calls out to the three of you, "Everything ok?" Alejandro, stands in the doorway with a plate of alegrías de amaranto and a cup of licuados, he was always trying to get you eat something healthy, even if it contained sugar.
Both men standing beside you nodded in unison, still keeping their arms tight around you, Rudy speaks something to Ale you don't quite hear but judging by his reaction it was about the events prior to his arrival. Alejandro sets the plate and cup down on the bedside table, telling Kyle and Rodolfo to start the bath for you, helping you out their arms and to sit on the bed, they both left to do as told.
"Shh, mi amor" he whispers, arranging your body so your legs are over his, head agaisnt his chest and back propped up by a few pillows, "te traje comide, vamos, come."
Alejandro picks up the plate from the table, holding it up to you so you can eat, small bites followed by sips of the drink he brought, he still kept is around around you, holding you against his chest as you ate. The muffled sound of runnng water filed in from the bathroom mixed with barely audible chatter.
After your food and drink was finished and the plate and cup were back on the table, Alejandro carefully picks you up bridal style, making sure to keep you as close as possible, walking towards the bathroom to join the two men already in there. He plces you down on the bathmat, the bath now filled with hot water and deep galatic blue colour from the bath-bomb they pickout, barely visible from under the bubbles floating on top the water.
Rudy removes your -Ghosts- shirt, jokingly complementing you on it, asking where you got it and that it looks good on you. He folds it and puts it on the toilet seat, helping you into the water and making sure you're comfortable, saying he and the other two will be in the other room if you need anything.
The three left you to have your alone time, you laye your head back on to the edge of the tub, letting the water reach your shoulders. Closing your eyes and letting out a sign, feeling the tranquillity relax your muscles, relax your mind, letting it wash away all your problems and stress.
Sudden pain spreads through your lower region, another one then another, the babies kicks become for frequent, shouting out to the guys as you white-knuckle the tub, trying to even your breathing, the door nearly falls off its hinges as it burts open, eyes flying around the room hoping to stop any danger before landing on you, silently asking what's wrong.
"I think my water just broke."
The Nurses gathered around you, shouting out different things, bringing in all sorts of equipment and moving you around, attending to your every need to make sure you're comfortable as possible. They ask your mates to wait in the waiting room, stating having an alpha in the room can cause problems.
All protested, not wanting to miss anything, but left eventually, leaving you alone to deliver the pups.
Johnny was the most reckless, pacing around the waiting room table, König sat in a comically small chair, nervously fidgeting next to Ghost who was giving the smll low growls, irritated by the constant movements.
Price and Graves were oddly calm, sat at opposite ends of the room, being leaders and commanders of hundreds of soldier, it made sense why they were the most calm, Alejandro was too, but not as calm at them.
"I cannae take this any longer" Soap growls, stopping his pacing to look at the double doors that lead to the labour and delivery ward, eyes swimming with impatience and worry.
"It's only been a few hours, sunshine" Price huffs out, moving around his chair, arms crossed over his chest. The hospital has a 'no smoking' rule indoors, no matter how badly he wants a cigar, Price stays put, not wanting to miss the announcement when the pups are born
Four of the eight men in the room groan in response; Alejandro, Rodolfo, Kyle and Johnny. All four were more than excited to meet the little one, they could barley stay still. waiting for one of the nurses to tell them it's ok to see you.
"Who'd you think the fathers are? " Graves pipes up, smug smirk on his face, "What? I'm just asking." he is confident on the question, whether it was to start a fight or it was a genuine question is hard to say
"Obviously it's me."
"Not even close, Johnny."
"What makes you think it's you, Skull-Boy?"
Price closes his eyes and tilts his head back, trying to block out yet another argument, praying a nurse comes soon.
"Könnte ich sein."
"God help our bonnie if it's you, ye Austrian giant."
"That's mean, hermano"
The bickering continues, back and forth, until one of the nurses comes in, standing by the double swing doors, does everyone shut up, listening to what she has to say. "There were a few complications, but that's expected when you have triplets, but mama is healthy and well. You have three healthy baby girls. Congratulations." she says.
Relief floods through the men, three daughters.
"Do you know who the fathers are?" König asks the nurse.
She shakes her head, "The doctor is talking to your mate now, you'll know then. You're welcome to visit them now." She explains before leaving the men in the waiting room.
Two of your babies were sleeping beside you in hospital provided basins, you just got the back after they checked them and did all the necessary procedures. They looked so cute wrapped up in their blankets and hats. Soft, tiny whines here and there could be heard of them every once in a while.
After seeing their faces, their tiny hands clasped around your finger as they took their first breathes, you knew who each of your new childrens fathers were. The resemblance could be seen clear as day.
The door to your room swings open with such force, nearly hitting the wall, "Careful! You'll wake them." you whisper-shout to whoever opened it, looking at your eight partners and the tears in their eyes as you spot the newborns, "Their sleeping!" you say, looking down at th child in your arms.
They all flock around them, Ghost comes over to take the child you're holding from you, stating you need to sleep, Price and Johnny both look at the pup Ghost is now holding, cooing at how cute she is. "The one you're holding his Kyle's" you mutter, sleepily smiling at them, watching their attempt to hold themselves together.
Gaz looks over at the child in the masked man arms, tears lining his waterline, all stopped fighting back tears the second they caught sight of their small pups. Kyle points to himself, as to confirm it's his, you nod to confirm she is indeed his. Ghost hands the man his newborn, the smile on Gaz's face seems to get wider as he looks at his daughter. "And the other two?" he whispers.
"The second girl is Rodolfo's and the third is Alejandro's" You say, trying your hardest to stay awake, the two Mexicans have a face splitting smile, Looking at their children, with such love and adoration in their eyes. "I haven't had a test, but i know their yours, i just know,i can see you in them." The three men nod, you don't need some test to tell that the they were their pups.
"I haven't named them yet, thought you could." you announce, slowly blinking as sleep starts to claim a hold on you.
Price sits next to you on the bed. wrapping an arm around your shouldera, pulling you into his side, " You did great, love, we'll take it from here. Get some rest" he whipsers, careful not to wake the sleeping babies. He presses a kiss to you forehead and you lay your head down on his shoulder.
Finally allowing yourself to sleep. watching as the men coo over the new pups, placing bets on whos next and saying how'll be the next to have children.
translations:
¿Cariño?¿Puedes abrir la puerta? - Sweetheart? Can you open the door?
sí, sólo dinos qué pasa - yes, just tell us what's happening
Estás bien, estás bien, estamos aquí, está bien - You're ok, you're ok, we're here, you're ok
mi amor - my love
te trajecomida, vamos, come - i brought food, come on, eat
Alegrías de Amaranto- Mexican candy made from amaranth seeds and honey or sugar
Licuados - Latin American drink made with milk, fruit and ice
Hermano - Brother
Könnte ich sein - Could be me
#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle garrick x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#captian john price x you#john price x you#john price x reader#captian john price x reader#john soap mactavish x you#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish x you#john soap mactavish x reader#alejandro x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#alejandro vargas x you#rodolfo rudy parra x reader#rodolfo parra x reader#rodolfo rudy parra x you#rodolfo parra x you#koing x reader#koing x you#philip graves x reader#philip graves x you#cod men x reader#cod x reader#cod fanfic
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If you have time, do you think you could share some jealous Naoya headcanons? 💗
Heya anon!
Thank you so much for the wait!! I decided to write a little something this time around (as always lmao) one of the things he'd do when highly jealous, and desperate too.
Here are the warnings: Naoya has idiot friends. He doesn't like men around you. You don't like it either but you have his reputation to think about.
Happy reading!!
Jealous Naoya is not the kind of person to whine and bitch to their partner when feeling jealous (when he’s hopelessly devoted to them, of course)
No, of course not.
Instead, he’s the kind of person to do everything in his power to let the rest of the world know they’re his.
Naoya has long understood that some people are just jealous of what he’s got; it’s only natural, after all.
…
Especially when it comes to you; perhaps the only one whom he’s ever had such strong feelings, of both adorations and, well, insecurity.
Either way, he doesn’t like how some seem to keep questioning the veracity of his relationship, hounding you like dogs… as if you weren’t his girlfriend!! And that is something no one should question!
But even with all the things he’s done to remove any reasonable doubt… some still needed to be reminded of this fact.
Naoya has to take his determination to the next level, but what could possibly be better than gifting you the most expensive things available in the country (he’s working on the rest of the world—you tell him it’s too much), taking you to equally luxurious places whenever possible, settling for nothing less when it comes to dates, as well as rejecting every single person that approaches him by reminding them that he’s very happy with you? With you doing the same?
It's a necessity that leads him down a path he’s never considered before, too… shy for it (believe it or not) even more when you did it.
But he’s getting desperate; Naoya really doesn’t like it whenever there’s a new guy circling around you; and though you’ve long reassured him that you only have eyes and feelings for him, sometimes he… well, he can’t help but let his self-doubt win.
You’re the first girlfriend he’s genuinely cared about, after all, and the first one that treated him as the man he was, not for what his family represented—so it was only natural that he’d initially believe your actions to be deceitful, if not… more deserving for someone else.
And yet, you always did your best to prove him wrong.
How is he not supposed to fall in love with you?
Or reel in burning jealousy when seeing you chat with another one of his nameless friends, the same one that always had something to say about you, acting as if he couldn’t care less about his relationship, but as soon as he turned around, he was all over you.
That poor soul couldn’t even see what was coming to him.
“—and then, we managed to exorcise the curse; Naoya will never admit it, but he needed my help, or we wouldn’t have been able to do it.” He gloats proudly, and you… well, you laugh just to be amicable, not because you were truly interested in whatever he had to say, his intentions nothing but clear before your eyes:
He was trying to discredit Naoya’s efforts, make him appear as less than what he truly was, a talented, accomplished sorcerer, and your boyfriend, whom he should be respecting instead of hoping he’ll get a chance of dating you.
Why did Naoya even bother continuing to be his friend? It’s obvious that he doesn’t like him that much either!!!
But then again, there might be a side of their friendship you’re ignorant about; maybe a favor to repay, a childhood friendship, or forced to bond because their mothers were friends or something…
Either way, there’s no denying that he irritates you very, very much; oh, how you wished Naoya would simply whisk you away…
Which, truth to be told, might happen sooner than expected.
Albeit completely different from what you envisioned.
“Naoya!” you’d gasp upon seeing him, not bothering to hide the enthusiasm you felt to be rescued see your beloved boyfriend, careless if your actions hurt him his two-faced friend, as he quickly approached you.
As much as Naoya hated him, you knew he’d still greet him, either through a snarky comment scolding him for spending his time on literally anything else but training, or a quick glance before eventually retreating with you…
Never once considering what transpired next: the abrupt, yet careful, way he’d reach for the back of your neck, intertwining his fingers with your hair to pull you back and see him; barely giving you enough time to process what’s happening before his lips take yours, in a deep, breathless kiss that leaves you ashamed, yet…
“Leave my girlfriend alone.” Is what he says as soon as he draws away, fiery gaze on his friend as he declares this irrevocable statement.
And he… well, he wasn’t able to say anything either, before he’s effectively pulling you away from the table, safe from the stupidities he was spewing and to his side, where you should always, safely, be.
“—I’m sick and tired of that idiot thinking he’s allowed to do whatever he wants with what’s mine” Naoya scowls as he leads you to his dorm, intending to be in solitude with you, just as he always needed when jealousy got the best of him. “Seriously, do I need to drill it into his head?! Guess some people are just stupid since birth—what’s gotten into you?” Naoya asks upon noticing your silence, the blush in your face alongside the wide grin in your lips.
“Hm?” You ask, tightly holding onto his hand. “What do you mean?”
“What do I—Well, you’re awfully quiet for a start, and you’re also… red.” Naoya says.
“I’m just listening!” you cheer, as if that didn’t make your boyfriend any more suspicious.
Naoya sighs. Even when blinded with jealousy, he was still capable of understanding what he did was a bit… intense.
“I thought you’d be upset.” He adds. Since public displays of affection were unofficially… discouraged. “Or at least confused.”
“I won’t say that I wasn’t startled by your approach, but… I actually… kindoflikedit.” You quickly say, looking away. “…I always like it when you kiss me.”
Naoya could only stare in silence, as if trying to make sense of your adorable response… before finally succumbing to these feelings, a smile parting his lips as he pulls you closer to him, holding you tightly.
“I should’ve known to not mistrust my greedy girlfriend.” He snickers. “Shameless, even in front of others…”
“You’re the one that started it!” you cry, leaning into his chest. “…It’s not my fault I feel this way with you.”
“Is that so?” he prods. “Perhaps I should tease you more, then— I wouldn’t mind seeing the shocked look on that idiot’s face again, or how flustered you get afterwards.”
“If it’s going to be like that, then I don’t want it.” You frown—while unwittingly cute, it was quite embarrassing, especially his reaction. “Makes me think you like seeing him more than me…”
“What?!” Naoya shrieks, scowling out of disgust. “Where did you get that idea from?!”
“Nowhere.” You giggle, standing on your toes to kiss him. “I’m just messing with you.”
“First him, and now you… you really are trying to get me on my nerves.” He murmurs darkly, a smirk on his face that shows you’ve perhaps gambled more than you were willing to win, sending shivers down your spine as he publicly decides to take you to his dorm. “I guess I still have some lessons to go through.”
Jealousy is amongst some of Naoya’s strongest emotions, ones that you always attempt to ease, reassure him that your heart only has space for one, and it’s already taken.
But in occasions like this, where he’d lose his inhibitions and provide you a new, unexplored side of him… maybe acting the fool once in a while wasn’t so bad after all.
In other words, Naoya is willing to do the things he doesn't like if it means others will leave you alone!! You got this man whipped :')
And you also like how aggresive he gets in that sense. It's like yes, tell everyone I'm yours!!! (ngl this reminds me of those cringe alpha male videos omg... what have I done?!)
Rest assured, you don't like making Naoya feel that way, so it's not like you'd actually permit others to talk to you when you know Naoya doesn't like them; unless it's his family, or someone important.
Anyways, I hope you liked it!!! I'm always happy to write fluffy shenanigans between out favorite couple 🥺❤️❤️ thank you so much for sending in this ask!!
Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️
#ask#naoya zenin#naoya zen'in#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin x you#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#prompt series: jujutsu kaisen
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Hi, I’ve liked your works for a while and was wondering if you would write something with Scaramouche and a reader who’s insecure because of her small chest? You can add any other characters if you want. If you’re busy, feel free to ignore, I don’t wanna disturb you.
PERFECTION !!
characters: scaramouche , zhongli
warnings: small chested!reader, fem!bodied, reader is called ‘darling’ & ‘love’ (zhongli)
a/n: ofc!! i dont mind. i had also added zhongli, considering i have a headcanon that they also love those with small chests<3
!! SCARAMOUCHE
is surprised when you bring it up. not in a bad way, but one thing he didn’t expect was an insecurity. let alone, from you. especially with the way you always acted so full of yourself..he felt somewhat deceived by how easily you fooled him, though didn’t think now was the time to try and scold you or act any kind of way. scaramouche being the person he is, and struggling with explaining his emotions, he simply starts poking at them, playfully, but it concerned you, yet it still made you laugh. and that was his goal. to make you laugh. it was his backup plan for everything that went wrong with you. making you laugh, it fulfilled him perfectly and honestly made him a bit more confident now that the mood has been lightened by your cheerful voice. “i dont care..” he sighed, finally being able to look you in the eye without getting the least bit flustered. though, he was slightly struggling to find the right words to finish off his sentence. he’d hate for you to assume that was all he was going to say, but he also wanted to find the right words as to not make it too harsh, or have something sound different than what it is. “..for size.” you couldn’t help but feel a tightening sensation in your throat, preventing you from speaking. in slight retaliation, noticing your emotional distress, scaramouche wrapped his arms around you and sighed. “you’re so..sensitive..about it. if i had that large of a preference you wouldn’t even know i existed.”
!! ZHONGLI
could already tell that you were somewhat insecure of them, yet deemed it insensitive to say anything. but now that you’re complaining about them, he takes it as an opportunity to say his piece. “y’know darling. it is not something to worry about.” he said softly, cupping your cheeks. “why not?” you replied quickly, avoiding eye contact. “well, from what ive been told, those with bigger sizes often get back pains..i’d hate for you to have consistent pains due to something you can’t control.” he explained. you knew you were some kind of lucky because no back pains, but you did wish they were at least a little bigger. though, your avoidance of eye contact only made zhongli want to care for you more. “why’re you so worried about your breasts anyways, my love? it’s not that you can control it.” he asked, now curious. what started such an odd insecurity? why would you wish something upon yourself that you could not control? why wish you had it, yet not bother to think for the pain? he didn’t understand. had you forgotten cause and effect? give and take? all things are given with a price. it made perfect sense to him, but he couldn’t understand it coming from you. understandably, he could never. he’s not in your place. however, why be insecure about them when he’s always showed so much love for it? “it’s just. frowned upon in communities. most men have preferences of that kind..” you said, trailing off out of embarrassment. “well, it’s not frowned upon here. and im certainly not ‘most men’, now am i?” planting a kiss on your forehead, he smiled softly at you as you nodded. “i love you the way you are. please do not hope to change yourself in any way. i developed great feelings for you, not any other. if you aren’t you, i wouldn’t have the same attachment.”
#cyxnidx#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#scaramouche my beloved#scaramouche genshin x reader#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche fluff#if you arent supporting zhongli what is wrong with you#support zhongli for clear skin and less depression#genshin impact zhongli#genshin zhongli#zhongli fluff#zhongli my beloved#zhongli x reader#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact scaramouche#genshin impact heizou#fem!bodied#reader is afab#cw fem reader#genshin x female reader
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To Be Cherished…
Natasha Romanoff x FemPlusSize!Reader
18+ | SMUT | Minors DNI
To Be Mine Forever (Next)
Oral(R receiving), Fingering (R receiving), Thigh Riding (Nat), Double-Sided Strap—Reader riding, Daddy Kink
Warnings: Alluded to fat-phobia, passive-aggressive abusive coworkers, trust issues, insecure reader
Heads Up Buttercups: 8857 Words 💋
—————————————————————
Natasha locked the door to her apartment, and set off into the night for a much needed escape. The world could most certainly survive if the Black Widow took a night off, and it's not like they had been given much of a choice anyways. Natasha was craving human interaction, the kind that was free of expectation, so off to the bar she went.
The attention she craved tonight wasn't necessarily promiscuous, but she would be lying to say she had sworn it off all together. Her outfit was slightly reserved, but it was also incredibly form fitting, with a classy view of her cleavage leaving hardly anything to the imagination.
————
Your outfit was quite the opposite, as you were forced into the skimpiest of clothes for this bartending gig. The tube top, and black jean booty shorts barely contained your figure, truthfully doing nothing but to make you incredibly uncomfortable. Your gapless thighs would uncomfortably rub against each other as you maneuvered behind the bar at an efficient pace, leaving behind "chub rub" most nights. Then your far from toned stomach was visible to every patron served, and their eyes never failed to roam the entirety of your body.
Being a bigger woman you always anticipated the stares, people would be "inconspicuously" ogling your 'assets', then reimagining them on the toned blonde two stools down. You were also more than accustomed to the backhanded compliments from desperate patrons nearing last call, having yet to leave with someone.
"You're beautiful... for a girl your size, want to get outta here?"
Your response always came in the form of a tight lipped smile, and a firm 'no thank you.' Even though all you'd wanted to do in the moment was sucker punch the asshole, while simultaneously bursting into tears. Alas, you had bills to pay, and couldn't afford to lose your place—your kitty baby depended on you. The reminder that you graduated in a little under a year was all that really got you through your shifts anymore.
Natasha could hear the music roaring from a whole street down as she slowly approached the designated party block. The streets were flooded with plastered college kids trying to forget their studies as they bar hopped, and the older crowd was glued to their stool as they worked to drown out their worries. Natasha found amusement in observing the everyday people; stressing over such trivial occurrences that many of them had a hand in choosing for themselves.
If only she'd had the same problems...
She entered the first bar she saw, instantly regretting it as it appeared to be for a much younger crowd. It didn't take much for her to see their intentions were to engage in illegal activities, and she's not interested in having to be a narc so she swiftly retreated. The next few bars were busts as well, full of crowds of dull looking individuals, who make people watching entirely too mundane, so she continued on in her search.
She'd eventually settled upon the Hooter-esque bar—"The Glory Hole"—that left its workers in skimpy fits, with an array of patrons from all walks of life. Entirely too amused by the topless men in booty shorts, prancing around the establishment with pen pads and trays, she nearly missed the women behind the counter. Prissy overachievers was her first thought, as she vaguely heard their exaggerated giggles, but then her eyes made their way to you.
Something about the look in your eye had her absolutely enthralled, you were nothing like your fellow bartenders whom all seemed ecstatic to be here. The obvious obligation in your stance had instantly drawn her to you, because she herself is no stranger to the obligatory workings of the world.
She observed as the men and women patrons looked to you, ordering their drinks with their gazes obviously never meeting your eyes. Your tight smile gave way to the clear disinterest you'd felt for the attention, but your sweet tone in contrast had her smirking over her drink as she could just practically hear your internal monologues. Though she indeed found pleasure in briefly ogling your physique, she truly found the sound of your laugh—even if forced—to be more enticing.
After a little over an hour the traffic had finally died down, leaving you alone at the bar as all the others rushed off to take their 'breaks' in the laps of the many patrons, she'd decided this would be her chance to make her move to get closer to you. Her eyes had spent most of their time observing you, favoring you over the idiotic patrons she'd initially come for, and with every passing moment she'd found herself itching with unrivaled need to talk to you.
Being that you were no stranger to the stares, you'd felt hers almost immediately, but it wasn't anything you'd ever been used to. There was nothing about her gaze that was fueled by disgust, nor that devious curiosity that reigns in the eyes of those with the unexplored "chubby girl" fetishes you'd unfortunately grown used to. It came as quite a shock to you seeing as she was extremely fit, and quite literally an Avenger. It's no lie to say that she could have quite literally have anyone she wanted in this establishment; to even flirt with the idea that she'd be interested in you felt much more like a fever dream.
Whenever you would spare the glance her way her eyes wouldn't waver in their hold on you. Gentle intensity met your painfully insecure orbs, working overtime to pull you in, thus causing you to stutter in your movements more than once. Natasha would smirk over her glass, feeling accomplished whenever you ended up over pouring the shot, or nearly dropping your strainer when pouring a patrons drink.
Anxiety had overtook your form once your coworkers had abandoned you at the bar, and you could tell by the way the redhead was fidgeting around that she was preparing to move from her seat. Deep down you'd wanted her to approach you, maybe even flirt with you, but the even deeper seeded insecurities told you not to get your hopes up—to remember who you were in comparison to her. Attempting to avoid a prematurely broken heart you'd focused your attention on cleaning the bar up, shuffling around the bottles, then moving to restock the emptied.
An unexpected ringing from above had left you startled, causing you to hit your head on the undercarriage of the bar, and by a stroke of luck you'd been able to save the disheveled bottles before they could come crashing down. Reluctantly you stood to your feet to help whom ever it was that nearly cost you an entire paycheck, biting back the pained groan in favor of a friendly smile. Beautiful, iridescent green eyes, now apparently full of concern had been what you found yourself greeted with.
"Good evening, how may I satisfy your hole? Would another vodka soda suffice?" You ask the woman the go to slogan-esque question that the owner Bob had coined, internally cringing for the millionth time as the embarrassing words leave your mouth.
"Are you okay?" She tenderly questions you, completely overlooking your "professional" greeting.
"Oh, I'm fine miss, just a little bump is all. Thank you for asking, I truly appreciate it."
"Natasha." She gently corrects with an easy smile as she stares into your eyes.
"I know who you are miss, it's just more a professional courtesy is all, as I'm almost certain that you like to remain anonymous to the world when you're out in it."
"Yeah, you're not wrong, but I certainly don't mind when a pretty girl such as yourself calls me by my name." She shamelessly flirts as her smile morphs into a cheeky smirk, followed quickly by you exaggeratedly rolling your eyes at her words, but your stomach betrays you as it flutters with daunting hope.
Natasha also sees right through your gesture, because when your eyes refocus on her own she can see the insecurity that's mercilessly drowning out the hope swirling around, and the lack of faith in others you have—though she relates—truly breaks her heart.
"It would be even nicer if I also knew her name, so that I could know who it is I'm going out with later tonight."
"You're the Black Widow, I'm sure you know my name, probably even have access to my social security for that matter." You deadpan, having no tangible faith in this encounter as it progresses, insecurities now entirely controlling your thoughts.
"What's the fun in looking you up in a database when I have the gorgeous source stood before me?"
"Look, it's only a matter of minutes before the sex crazed idiots I work with all return, as well as the next wave of patrons who will follow. Please, can you just tell me which one of the said idiots put you up to this so that I can just set you free? I'll even tell them I fell into your trap, that I actually believed that someone like you was interested in someone like me. Then you can all share your little laugh later at my expense. Just please, stop whatever this is." You snap at the woman, losing all means of professionalism as you've grown tired of this repetitive act you've been subjected to
Usually this is perpetrated by the likes of Macy, the high school drop out from your graduating year, whom of which had conveniently showed up in the big apple a few months back. She also just so happens to be this bars go to piece of eye candy so reports to Bob end up getting filed away in a dusty HR folder. The same Macy who's currently in the far corners booth with her tongue down "Old Johnny Boy's" throat. You never expected she'd drag an Avenger into the mix just to humiliate you, nor that one would willing bite.
Though the hurt that flashes over her features at the insinuating words you just angrily spewed at her had you instantly regret them. The genuine frown on her face, and the ways in which you saw her internally monologuing before speaking once more told you she was completely caught off guard.
"Sweet angel, I can assure you that this isn't some twisted game, I've never met your coworkers, and clearly I'm the better one for it if that's something they'd do to you. You're truly gorgeous to me honey, I've spent most of my evening just marveling at the sight of you and your beautiful smile. So of course I'd be interested in "someone like you," and I'd genuinely love nothing more than to take you out after your shift ends."
"I-I, Natasha, I'm sorry, it's just..."
"Listen, there's this really cute diner up the way that never really closes, so please, if you're truly sorry then just let me take you out...?" She pointedly cuts your stuttered apology off, truly holding nothing against you in the moment, but very much willing to use your remorse to seal in the date with you.
"Well I'd be a fool to turn you down, so if it's a genuine offer, then I'll be all yours in an hour."
Natasha's face lights up at your sudden switch to acceptance, then she places her hand over yours on the bar to lightly squeeze it in silent confirmation that she's definitely all in here.
"I'm just going to slip off back to my corner table now while I attempt to wait patiently for you to get off moya prekrasnaya devushka..." She relays, before lifting your hand up and gently linking hers with yours to place a kiss to your knuckles before promptly departing.
(My beautiful girl)
The last hour of your shift is honestly a breeze once you allow yourself to feel the hope that's squeezing at your heart.
—
"Y/N/N...." Macy's shrill voice sings out your unfavored nickname, breaking through your peace, and like always her voice never fails to cause your body to tense up.
"I have a date." You flatly state with your hand already on the door handle seeing as how you knew where this was headed and you'd already clocked out ten minutes ago.
"Yeah, and I'm ugly, try something a bit more believable next time Y/N/N. Johnny wants to take me home, and Brad already left with Jamarion so that only leaves you to help close."
"Jesus Macy, you're the one scheduled to close with Patrick tonight, so do your damn job because my date's been patiently waiting on me while I was changing." You groan in response, swiftly moving out of the employee's backroom and passing by the amused looking blonde.
"Ooh, look at you suddenly getting all feisty... Now, like I was saying, I really need you to handle it for me tonight. No need to lie about a date, especially not when I have a very important one of my own to attend to." Macy teases as she follows you out, completely oblivious to the assassin's watching eyes as she casually humiliates you.
Natasha watches the scene playing out, doing her very best to keep the anger at bay when she sees the way that your coworker treats you in front of everybody. She smiles to herself though as she hears you standing up for yourself, and judging by the blondes scowl it's clearly not a usual occurrence.
"Attend it once your shift ends then—because newsflash, that's how having a job works. Goodbye now Macy."
Before the girl can push you any further though Natasha decides to step in to hopefully shut this messy bitch up so that she can finally have you all to herself.
"Hey there sweetheart, are you ready to go?"
Macy's eyes nearly bulge out of her skull at the sight of Natasha Romanoff with her arm wrapped around your shoulder, and she's not entirely sure why but for some reason her eyes are completely zeroed in on you.
"Yes, I'm really sorry that it took me so long, I needed to change and then my coworker here was trying to get me to cover her tonight but I had to sadly decline."
"Sorry, Mace is it? But we must be on our way now, hopefully your boyfriend is able to stay up passed his bedtime just this once though, I'm sure the senior center will make the exception for you. Good luck, we'll be rooting for you."
Natasha pulls you out of the bar within the same instant, leaving the blonde a spluttering mess, and her heart soars unbelievably high at the sound of your unfiltered laughter.
"Oh my gosh! Did you see her face?! That was fucking amazing, you're truly amazing!"
Natasha's quick to pull you into a kiss as the heightened feelings of joy overwhelm her, lightly leaning into you as she maneuvers your body against the brick wall, but before it could divulge into a rushed night she pulls back.
"Woah..." You mutter, mouth remaining agape as the realization of what took place hits you.
She chuckles at your adorably shocked face then places another sweet kiss to your cheek as she links her hands with yours, and then pulls you down the street.
"Yeah, I might've gotten ahead of myself there darling, I hope I didn't scare you off."
You swiftly quell her worries, then allow her to lead you to the 24/7 diner you're already intimately familiar with as a college student. Which is made rather apparent to the assassin as she watches you being greeted with a warm embrace. Had the lady not been nearing her sixties she might've even been jealous, but you agreeably being here with her was enough to calm her truly unwarranted feelings.
"Y/N! Sweetheart, it's been so long, it's so good to see you!" Eliza greets you with a firm hug, tiny arms doing their best to wrap around you, and you reciprocate the gesture by loosely wrapping your arms around her fragile form.
"Mama Liz, how have you been? Sorry, but college has been kicking my behind these last couple weeks. So between the masters coursework, and the bar I've been a bit preoccupied."
"I've been great dear, I hope you have been as well, don't go overworking yourself now."
"Tired, but overall yes, I'm doing well."
"That's good dear, now let's get the two of you seated, booth or table?" She asks while picking up two menus, even if she knows you won't be needing it.
You look back to your date with a soft smile, still shocked to see the gorgeous redheaded woman behind you, and she understands you're both leaving the decision up to her.
"A booth would be nice." Natasha quietly decides, suddenly nervous having now already met someone who—judging by the title you'd greeted her with, seems to be important to you.
Natasha slides into her side with apparent ease, whereas you cautiously take your seat across from her, slightly sucking in to ensure you're not embarrassingly struggling to fit into the narrow space. Natasha obviously sees this, inwardly she's cursing herself for not even considering the limitations of a booth, but she remains quiet and averts her gaze to the menu. Once you're comfortable with the seating you silently observe her as she curiously overlooks the menu.
"The t-bone steak with your choice of eggs and country style potatoes seems like it would be something you'd like." You suddenly state, and her accompanying chuckle makes you a bit nervous to hear her thoughts.
"Yeah, is that right now?" She teases, lowering her menu a tad to meet your gaze.
"Yeah, you don't seem like you'd be all that interested in the sweet side of breakfast; so really the steak, potatoes and eggs is simple enough, and you seem like a practical person."
"Honey, it's currently one in the morning, I'd like to think practicality was kinda thrown out the window." She jests, then places her menu down and takes a sip of the water before her.
She observes the slight fall of your face, recognizing the insecurity that once again is written all over you, and she hates how truly engrained it all is in your mind.
"Fair point, well, I'm getting the classic burger with fries and a chocolate shake." You apprise her of your order while nervously fidgeting as you begin to stack up the abundance of creamers on the table.
Natasha reaches out to grip your hands, successfully stopping your stacking game, consequently pulling your distant gaze up to meet hers. Her kind smile works to bring you back to the moment, and you suddenly feel this need to apologize for the sudden mood drop.
"I'm sorr—."
"Hey, hey, sweet girl... Please don't apologize, whatever it is you're feeling is more than okay. How can I help?"
Before you could voice your insecurity driven thoughts Mama Liz interrupts the both of you, taking the both of your orders, and as you'd expected Natasha does order the T-Bone Steak breakfast. As soon as Liz takes off Natasha looks for you to continue, squeezing your hand for encouragement, and so with a slight hesitance you nervously begin to ramble.
"It's just, I don't understand why you're here. Even though you've told me why, I just can't wrap my head around it, because there were so many people at the bar you could've gone home with. So many people that were far closer to being in your league, so much prettier even. I'm just an average looking chubby girl, and normally I don't struggle to see my worth, but this still just feels like a big old joke to me. There's no fathomable reason you, The Black Widow, gorgeous as you are would want to be caught dead with someone like me."
Natasha's jaw briefly tenses at the way you speak so ill of yourself, it truly boils her blood because you're genuinely gorgeous. Clearly you're blinded by what society has told you to think of yourself, and she plans to undo this horrific conditioning of yours, to let you see just what she sees when she looks to you. Quickly she'd gotten up and situated herself beside you on your side of the booth. Using her left hand she guides your face up to get you to look at her. Her other hand remains atop of yours on the table, subtly intertwining her fingers with your own as she does her best to reassure you once again.
"Y/N, you are so fucking gorgeous, every single last bit of you. Whoever has told you otherwise deserves to have their eyes removed for their inability to use them correctly, then honestly to have their asses beat for lying to you. Now, to answer your looming question, none of those people at the bar had what you do, because beyond you being incredibly hot, more importantly I can tell you're beautiful in every other way as well. Whatever it is you've been made to see, I need you to work to unsee it, and to realize your beauty because I want you in anyway you will let me have you, and if I'm being honest with you I'm sort of hopeful it's in totality."
"I'm sorry, I really don't mean to seem so insecure, honestly it's embarrassing."
"Oh sweetheart, it's okay, you deserve to be cherished, and I promise to do just that this early morning."
Natasha leans forward to capture your lips in a gentle kiss, hopeful it's enough to reassure you, though she once again finds herself reluctant to pull away but she somehow finds the strength to do so just in time for the food to arrive.
Mama Liz silently settles the food down on your rightful sides, then as Natasha shifts back to her original seat Liz sends a knowing wink your way and you find yourself shying away.
"Enjoy the food ladies."
"Thank you ma'am." Natasha politely says with her nervous eyes on the elder woman.
"Oh no dear, Mama Liz is just fine, because any friend of Y/N's is a friend of mine." She sweetly relays, emphasizing the word 'friend' as she sends another not so subtle wink your way.
Silence falls over the table as the both of you dig into your plates, sounds of forks scraping and muffled chewing is all that really fills the space around you until the Russian finally asks you the highly anticipated question.
"So... How do you know Mama Liz?"
"She's the owner of my favorite diner." You purposefully answer with sparse details, then you lightly chuckle at the sounds of her displeased huff.
"I mean—."
"I know what you mean." You playfully tease her, then go on to give her what she wanted.
"I'm not from New York if you hadn't figured that out yet, I am actually from a small town out in California, which I'm grateful for because living in that state had at least prepared me for the sheer size of this place." You relay, pausing to gulp down a drink of your water before continuing on.
"When I arrived here on a wing and a prayer five years ago, I had effectively known nobody, so in turn my first year here was rather lonely. I'd come here, order this exact meal, and focus in on my studies while the ambiance of the building provided me much needed comfort. Over time Eliza here took notice of me, so on nights when the restaurant was slow she'd just sit with me and converse over a cup of coffee. The simple gesture was the only thing that had made me feel welcome in this massive city, she really was my only friend."
Natasha smirks at the way you dually emphasize the use of the term friend, now understanding the true meaning behind the elder woman's previous inflection, and her underlying protectiveness over you.
"To this day she is still my greatest adversary, she's taken such great care of me over the years. This one time when she was comforting me over a bad break up I had kinda let the title slip, and she hushed my apologies with happy acceptance instead. She's truly a sweet woman, who deserves nothing short of the world."
Natasha admires the way you speak with such care for the woman, a newfound appreciation for the diner owner arises as she hears about the ways in which she's cared for you; shocking hope knocks at her heart in anticipation that one day she'll be able to be the one to comfort you instead.
"She's actually retired for the most part, having passed the diner off to her son a couple years back, but he recently got really sick though so she's currently holding down the fort again. So on the days when I have the free time I come in to work with her. She tries to pay me, and when I vehemently refuse she'll still find a way to slip a $20 into my pocket and shove an entire weeks worth of food into my hand." Somberly the words leave your mouth, followed by an exaggerated sigh as you finish off, finally looking up to see the beautiful woman already staring at you.
"Mama Liz is actually reserved for me, so you should honestly feel extra special." You lightly tease the woman who only returns your teasing with a gentle smile.
"Well, you two have a great night, I'll see you next weekend my darling girl." Eliza relays while suddenly popping up, refilling your empty water cups as she does, and turning to you for confirmation and you lightly nod.
Before walking away she places a tender kiss to your cheek, glaring at you in subtle challenge as she sees you consider wiping the remnants of the wet kiss off, triumphantly smiling at the both of you when you decided to leave it be.
"Keep her safe, and be good to my sweet Y/N." She reiterates with a soft glare when looking to the Avenger sat before you, causing you to stifle your laughter when you notice the almost fearful look in the former assassin's eyes.
"Of course ma'a—Mama Liz, I promise." Natasha stutters out, subtly correcting herself, and you observe her wide smile when the woman leans down to kiss her cheek as well.
You'd basically watched as her anxieties all but faded away under the tender touch of the elder woman, and you felt an abundance of hope consume you at the sight of your comfort person and your new prospective lover getting along so well.
"I know you will..." She confirms with a firm squeeze to the former assassins shoulder before rushing off to take her leave.
Shonda, the woman clocking in to replace Eliza waves your way while assisting another table, instantly peeking the redheads interest as she observes the interaction with jealous curiosity.
"Who's that?"
Her voice was laced with an obvious distaste she'd been trying to hide, and you smirked over the bite of your burger at the thought of her potentially being jealous.
"Shonda, she works twelve hour graveyard shifts twice a week to cover the bills her student loans, and supplemental payments from the government don't cover. Her husband was shipped off a couple months ago to be thrown into combat, thus leaving her alone to finish her last year of undergrad with a nearly five month old. Lovely woman."
Natasha's shoulders settle at your in depth description of the woman, allowing her to know that she was expressly spoken for, then she tenses once more when she sees you dipping a fry into your shake.
"What in the world are you doing?"
"This, Miss Romanoff, is a diner delicacy." You tease, passing the sticky fry over and staring expectantly at her as she observes it fearfully.
The melted chocolate ice cream begins to drip down the fry, nearly reaching her fingertips so she reluctantly throws the questionable food into her mouth, and you silently cheer at the involuntary moan that leaves her mouth.
"Shit, that's shockingly good." She states while doing grabby hands, causing you to giggle loudly at her enthusiasm.
You push your shake, along with your fries to the center of the table, then gesture for her to have at it, watching amusedly as she dips her own into your shake with an almost childlike glee.
"How's everything going over here?" Shonda's customer voice sings in question, successfully popping your bubble, and you stand at the sound of her voice to pull her into a bear hug.
"Pictures!" You pretty much shriek in her face, ignoring her question, and Natasha just continues to devour your food while silently observing the interaction.
"He's sitting up with barely any assistance now, and look at him, the little shit looks just like his father. I did all the damn work, and still am as of right now, and if you saw us together at the grocery store you'd think I'd kidnapped him."
"Oh you hush, he literally has your nose." You try to reason with her, receiving a harsh slap to your arm for a reason you're unaware of.
"Do you see the size of that nose?! Mine is tiny and cute, how incredibly rude..."
You roll your eyes at her asinine antics, then sit back down across from your date when the chef calls out that an order is ready to go out.
"Well, duty calls, feel free to leave whenever. Your guy's tab was already covered—Eliza's orders, I hope that you two have a wonderful night, and I'll see you next weekend sweets."
"Oh no, please do let me pay." Natasha panics, instantly reaching for her wallet, but Shonda dismisses her with the shake of her hand.
Natasha frowns when she swiftly takes off to assist the other tables, so she huffs and defiantly places a crisp $100 bill onto the table under the already stacked dishes and stands with her hand extended out for yours.
"That was very sweet of you Natasha, especially when the meal was definitely no more than $35." You coo, placing a kiss to her cheek in thanks as you both exit the diner, and Natasha's just grateful for the cover of night so that you don't see her blushing.
"It was honestly nothing dorogoy."
The both of you set off in the direction of your apartment that was only a little ways up the street. You were happily swinging your interlocked hands while talking about anything and everything imaginable and Natasha was honestly more than happy to just listen to you. It was honestly amazing to watch as you'd gone from this hesitant, closed off shell of a human to an overzealous goof in just under a few hours.
"This is me." You shyly announce, stopping in front of the set of semi-rundown studio apartments.
"Noooo, it can't be." Natasha whines, stomping her feet in clear protest, and moving her hands to hold you in front of her by your love handles.
Seeing the woman who's globally known for her ever so stoic disposition whining amuses you tremendously, especially over something as minor as you departing after only having just met earlier in the night. So you smirk at her, which only causes her to deepen her pout, then she catches you off guard by moving to trap you against the brick walls of your building.
The sheer force with which she uses to shove you into the wall shouldn't shock you but it most definitely does as you gasp at the impact. Most individuals have avoided having to move you around, so you'd never actually thought you'd find someone willing to, let alone able to do so, and the act alone had you feeling dizzy.
Her lips pressing against yours with bruising force also did nothing to distract you from your already impure thoughts. You found yourself eagerly matching her force, moving your lips in tandem against one another's until the both of you were eventually pulling back as you were completely void of oxygen in your lungs.
"I still haven't been able to cherish you like I promised detka." She breathlessly rasps against your kiss swollen lips, voice having dropped an entire octave; streetlights perfectly illuminated her face, and gave you a clear view of her lust filled orbs.
"What's stopping you?" You challenge the woman with a playful smile, and quirked brow.
"Lead the way angel." She muses, forcefully spinning you around by your plush hips until your stood before her as a guide.
Her tight hold on your hips remains as you make your way to the door, keys in hand, but the nerves began to drown out your fleeting wave of confidence thus causing your ability to unlock a door to all but disappear. Natasha's right hand slowly trails up your side, nimble fingers lightly cascade down the expanse of your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they travel with purpose to grab the color coded keys from your shaky hands.
"Which key is it sweetheart?"
"Gre-en." You manage to stutter out over your incredibly dry throat, and as if she can sense the nerves—of course she can—her lips move to place a gentle kiss to the side of your neck as she simultaneously unlocks the door and guides you inside.
Before she can pounce on you though as she intends to a loud meow, followed by a protective hiss halts her movements.
"Jesus, Kitty Baby, don't go scaring off my beautiful guest." You scold the calico pigmy cat, gently lifting her up to properly introduce her to the redhead before passing her along and filling the cat's bowl with food.
"Her name is kitty baby?" She asks, humor clear in her tone as she sets your tiniest love down at her food bowl.
"Well, yeah..." You nervously answer her, scratching at the back of your neck and the redhead moves quickly to envelop you in her strong arms.
"That's just adorable." She humorously mumbles against your lips before leaning in to tenderly kiss you, leading to you pretty much melting against her as she guides you by your hips to lean against your counter.
"Oh love, I can't wait to have you beneath me, giving you all the tenderness that you deserve, is that what you want too?"
The words hardly register in your mind as her kisses begin to trail down your neck, desperate whimpers fall from your lips as it sinks in for you just how touch starved you've truly been.
"Honey, are you with me?" Natasha asks, very much aware of the effect she's having on you, and loving every second of it.
Humming—it's all you can do in this instance to let her know that you're presently in the moment with her. Eyes lazily flutter open though once you feel her lips leaving your collarbone, and her eyes bore into your own expectantly.
"My beautiful, sweet angel, I need words before I can go any further here, what do you want?"
"Please baby, just cherish me..." You whimper, shiver running down the redheads spine at the desperation in your tone as you plead for her.
"I truly don't mind cherishing you here angel, but a bed might be more comfortable."
Even though your mind was muddy, and your legs felt like jelly when you walked you managed to guide her into your room. With a gentleness she'd pushed you back onto your mattress, and then moved to straddle your thighs. Natasha was rather cautious when approaching the subject of removing your own dress.
"Detka, can I?" She husks into your ear, while her fingers twist the bottom of your dress and she breathes in deeply to work to contain her urges.
She had began to lightly grind her hips down against your own to keep the arousal flowing. Too far gone to even feel embarrassed by the idea of her seeing you so exposed you happened to mumble out a:
"Daddy please, take it off."
Intentions—as pure as they can be, are not always met with equivalent actions when one's in the heat of the moment. A flip had switched in Natasha at the title that naturally rolled off your tongue, and in a completely feral state she'd ripped your dress in half.
"Fuck..." She groaned, watching excitedly at the way your nipples immediately perked up at the contact with the cold air since you were already braless.
Natasha's mouth connected to yours briefly before her lips and nimble fingers trailed down the entirety of your body with a purpose. Delicate fingers trace over your stretch marks with the utmost care, leaving behind bursts of goosebumps that are then followed by soft lips leaving behind a multitude of love bites in their wake before she makes her way down.
"Honey, can I?"
"Yes, please..."
"Good girl..." She praises while pulling your panties off in one swift motion, grateful for your use of both your words and manners.
Her firm grip on your thighs has your body shaking with anticipation when she spreads them further than you could do on your own. Natasha breathes in deeply, letting the smell of your arousal consume her before she's diving right in.
"Oh, oh, shitt..."
Expertly—she uses her tongue to bring you over the edge within a matter of minutes, remaining there even longer as she makes sure to lap up every last drop of your addicting arousal. After being substantially satisfied with her collection she pulls back to marvel at the sight of your glistening folds.
While her fingers teasingly ran through your slick folds she had began to need to rub her own thighs together in search of the much needed friction. In a frenzied state she pulled away, leaving you to whimper at the loss of contact, spurring her on to move quickly to rip her clothing off, so that she could then straddle your right thigh without pesky barriers. A low moan fell from her at the slight contact, her hips then began to move with a clear goal, as she ground into your thigh in desperate chase of her release.
"Look at what you did to daddy honey, making me make a mess all over your luscious thighs..."
She'd slowly dipped her fingers back through your folds to collect your arousal, teasingly rolling over your sensitive nub before trailing back down to push two fingers into your pulsating entrance. Your incoherent babbles had brought a brief smirk to her face before her own mouth fell open, releasing the filthiest of moans that only furthered your own arousal.
Natasha could hardly keep herself up between the overwhelming pleasure she was receiving by humping your thigh, and the delicious feeling of your warm, tight walls holding her fingers captive. She was nearing her breaking point—movements becoming erratic, and at the same time that Natasha had curled her fingers up inside of you, and used her thumb to rub against your clit you'd tensed the muscles in your thigh effectively throwing the both of you over and into a state of pure bliss.
Natasha instantaneously fell into you, lips smashing into yours carelessly, and her tongue wasted no time in pushing passed your lips to explore the entirety of your mouth while the both of you were still reeling from your mind blowing orgasms.
"We're not done yet, I always come prepared..." She husks against your lips before she's pulling back with a renewed energy while moving to collect something from her bag.
The familiar sounds of her fastening the strap to herself had you a tad bit nervous, but the excitement of it all weighed it out. Natasha crawled back onto the bed, hovering her face above yours before leaning in for a much sweeter kiss than the previous ones.
"Listen honey, I'm going to ask you to do something, and I want you to please consider trying it before you just say no."
With the way she looked to you, the nerves were now beginning to drown out the excitement, so you silently nodded in vague agreement.
"Daddy's going to lay against these pillows, and you're going to ride my cock, okay? I promise there's nothing to worry about, I got you..."
"What if I hu—."
"Honey, you could never hurt me, I promise... I'm starting to wonder myself if you might be the thing that actually makes me whole again."
Natasha wipes away at the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes at her sincere words, then she places a kiss to your nose, and smiles kindly down at you when you nod shyly in favor of her request. Natasha gets situated on the bed, hands reaching up to hold yours while you struggle to maneuver across the memory foam mattress. Nearly falling on top of her like you'd feared, but once again her strength amazed you, saving you from the embarrassment of it all with a cheeky wink thrown your way.
Natasha holds one of your hands while using her other to guide the faux cock to your entrance, gaze nothing short of encouraging as you begin to lower yourself onto the strap. Wincing at the way it had stretched you out, Natasha was quick to comfort you:
"Shhh.. You're okay honey, move whenever you're ready."
Never had you done something like this before, it's always just been missionary, or down on all fours. You'd say it's because the idea terrified you, but more so it's because your previous partners were never interested in such a thing with you, it was always just about a quick release with you for them. Natasha observed the hesitancy, but was patient and allowed you the time to explore, watching in adoration as you slowly began to grind against her.
The strap moved inside the both of you at the perfect angle once you'd finally got the hang of lightly bouncing, testing out your limits and finding immense pleasure in it. The coil within Natasha's abdomen was tightening far quicker than before now that she was able to see you in this new way. Carefree as can be as you rode her strap, breasts bouncing in rapid succession along with your belly. Her marks beautifully littered across your skin, illuminated by the sweat that had layered your body, and the different noises that filled the room were driving her absolutely crazy.
Natasha watched on as your moves began to falter, exhaustion rather prominent in your eyes, and she herself was barely holding on. Planting her feet firmly into the bed she'd aggressively thrusted her hips upwards, causing you to fall forward, but Natasha's arm was quick to wrap around you to rotate your bodies. Slamming you down into mattress, thus causing the strap to reach your furthest depths, causing you to scream as your arousal came gushing out of you, drenching her strap, and the sheets beneath the both of you. Natasha's climax was just as intense, having found the way that you just came undone below her so unbelievably hot, her intense screams slightly muffled against your neck.
After your third orgasm had ran through you Natasha could tell you were spent, honestly, she was too after the long week she'd just had. Bodies seemingly molded together as one once she settled atop of you; the panting, sweaty mess she was, lazily placing tender kisses over the marks she'd left behind while the both of you came down from your collective highs.
"Thank you..." A choked out phrase tumbles from your lips, vulnerability obvious, and heartbreaking as she felt you lightly shaking from beneath her.
"It was truly my pleasure detka, there's no need for thanks." She reassures you before attaching her lips to yours for a lazy round of making out.
Exhaustion doesn't even stop her from kissing you as your lips are far too intoxicating, sighs of contentment leaving her in the moment tell you just how happy she truly is. The only thing able to convince her to pull away is the pained whine that reverberates through her mouth from your throat when her knee had accidentally brushed against your puffy, sensitive core.
Natasha reluctantly pulls back from your lips only to settle on admiring you, leaning her face onto her hand that's propped up by her elbow. Total serenity consumes her at the sight of your stilled features, taking her fingers she gently trailed them across your face until she coaxed you from your nearing sleep state.
"Hey there sunshine..." She sweetly whispers once your eyes finally open, thumb dragging along your kiss swollen lips as she does.
"Hi..." You croak out, then with an embarrassed smile you turn to bury your face into her shoulder.
Natasha loves how shy you suddenly became even after the intense ways in which you'd both just intimately used one another's bodies for pleasure. Her hand went up to cup the back of your head to hold you close while she whispered into your ear.
"Moya prekrasnaya devushka, I'm going to be right back, don't fall asleep just yet..."
(My beautiful girl)
After your hum of acknowledgment she'd kissed your temple then took off towards your kitchen. Collecting two glasses of ice water, and preparing a post love making snack as fast as she could before making her way back to you.
"Honey, where are your night clothes?"
Lazily you'd pointed out the top drawer, so she'd sifted through it to find you a camisole and pair of panties, then for herself she took an old graphic T-shirt that fortunately for her had smelled just like you. After she'd cleaned you both up, then redressed your now self aware form she'd sat herself against the headboard and beckoned you close.
"Dorogoy, come here..."
Shyly you'd set yourself in her lap, allowing her to pull your back flush against her front as she cuddled you from behind, nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck for the brief moment of peace it offered her.
"I made us a snack, then after we eat we can go to sleep..."
Natasha broke the sandwich she'd made in half, handing you your side before digging right into her own like a woman starved. Without much consideration you also took a large bite, but grew to quickly regret it as your body was thrown into a coughing fit.
"Natasha, what exactly ... is ... this?"
"A peanut butter sandwich...?"
"Jeezus, so I introduce you to a delicacy, and you go and try to kill me with this brick of a sandwich. I'm not rich, but I know damn well I had jelly."
Natasha's laughter warms your heart as it reaches your ears, and shakes throughout your body with her underneath you.
"Come on, it's not that bad.." She gets out over her laughter while raising your glass of water to your lips to offer you much needed 'salvation.'
"Much better..." You exaggeratedly sigh out, quickly rolling away to avoid the pinch headed for your hips, but she pounced on you anyways.
The laughter faded quickly as the exhaustion resettled into your bodies, and you smiled at the way Natasha had decided to attach herself to you like a koala bear.
"Goodnight detka..." She breathes against your collarbones, and you return the sentiment while pulling the blanket up over your bodies.
—
Natasha had to rush off the following morning after receiving a text from Maria that she had been needed for an emergency mission. Broodingly she'd traveled around the room to collect her belongings, slowly redressing herself so that she could continue to admire your sleeping form. Natasha's gaze happily rested on the swell of your ass while she pulled a pen out of her bag to leave you behind a note. Leaving a kiss in the corner of the letter, she then does the same to your cheek before reluctantly taking off out of your front door.
When you woke up to an empty bed your heart had honestly sank, the fear that she'd just used her learned deceptive skills to have you convinced you were more than a challenging fuck ran through your mind. Your tear line had begun to fill, but as you sat up your sight fell to your bedside table. Sat atop the furnishing was a beautifully written note, a bottle of water, granola bar and a business card with her personal information.
After a moment of just sitting there with your eyes closed, trying to stabilize the nervous fluttering heart in your chest you finally found the bravery to pick up the note.
"Dearest Y/N,
I'll be back, no promises on when exactly, but just know that I did NOT want to leave your side this morning. Because honey, you looked far too delectable for your own good, but sadly duty calls, so once I finish saving the world I'll be back to pick up where we'd left off...
Take care of yourself,
XO, Natasha 💋"
The simple note had truly made your heart swell, filling with the kind of hope you'd only ever dreamed of—Natasha was proving rather quickly to be your wildest dream come true.
—
The week had come to an end pretty quickly, and you were currently finishing up your shift at the bar; relief spreading throughout your aching muscles as you spun around to place a final drink before a young man when a familiar flash of red had caught your gaze. Natasha was stood off to the side of the bar with a wide smile, her hair thrown up into a messy bun, wearing a tight pair of jeans, that she'd paired with an oversized hoodie that you immediately recognized as the one missing from your closet.
"Welcome to the Glory Hole where we aim to pleasure you, what can I get you to help satisfy your deepest desires?" You cheekily greet the woman with another one of Bob's greatest quips.
Natasha licks her lips before attempting to answer you, and you obviously notice the not so subtle way in which her eyes fall to your exposed chest before they return to meet your own which causes you to smile cheekily while you were drying a cup in wait for her answer.
"You know honey, I'm so glad you'd asked, because I was really hoping to escort the prettiest girl in the bar here to this adorable diner up the street. What do you—."
"Well good thing I'm free then." Macy cuts in, causing your entire body to tense and face to fall in anticipation of the impending taunts.
"Look, my patience for you is truly nonexistent. So run along, suck face with the guy who's nearing his deathbed, and leave my beautiful angel and I alone."
Macy huffs at the sheer humiliation, stomping off in the direction of her knight in shining diapers, and you run around the counter to hug the woman close in thanks.
"I'll be waiting right out front for you detka..." She tenderly promises with a kiss to both of your cheeks.
As you'd exited the bar you were greeted with a bouquet of flowers, followed by a chaste kiss to your lips before a motorcycle helmet was then fastened over your head.
"I got you..." She coos as you anxiously settled behind her and held onto for dear life as she'd secretly anticipated, then she drove off towards Eliza's.
—
Natasha sat in a booth that night sipping on her never ending mug of coffee, while filling out her digital mission reports. One report normally took her fifteen minutes, but tonight she'd been far too distracted, admiring the way that you, Shonda and Mama Liz worked so harmoniously together.
"Why did you even work at the bar?" She wonders to herself before attempting to refocus herself on the task before her.
It was to no avail though, because whenever you laughed her heart would skip a beat, and when you bustled by her booth her eyes would be stuck on your adorable, focused expression. Then when the diner had slowed, and you sat across from her with fries and a shake, her report was long forgotten as her entire focus was on the descriptions of your week gone by.
—
If there was one thing the redhead was entirely sure of as she watched you peacefully sleeping beside her that night it was that you were it for her. Peace was hard to come by in her line of work, so after the calm you'd been able to bring her just by being near had effectively settled in she was hooked. Natasha knew from the moment she saw you that you deserved the world, and she vowed to herself to be the one to give it to you.
A woman like you deserved to be cherished...
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🌊 Just Stop Flirting With Me Already- Buggy x reader
[SFW + NO NSFW]
🌊 Charater featured: just buggy
🌊 Summary: You could be a flirt sometimes, but especially to Buggy. You'd been harboring feelings for him for months, ever since you joined his crew. But when he gives you that cold glare, you feel like it was a mistake to flirt with him in the first place. But...does he really WANT you to stop flirting with him? Reader stays gn. Only rated teen for swearing.
You were trying to find your captain, and tell him about the beautiful restaurant you found on this island you had docked on. It was the perfect place for a date, and there was no one else you’d rather go there with. Your feelings for him were no secret, except to him. Admittedly…you were overly friendly and flirtatious with everyone on your crew, or even randos on the islands you went to as a means to get information, but your eyes were truly on Buggy and no one else.
You held a menu in your hand from the restaurant, and skipped back to the ship, but not without passing a couple crewmates sitting outside getting drunk. As is usual when it came to most pirate crews. You fully intended on ignoring them, but you heard your name come from one of the men. Curiosity spiked and you found yourself ducking around the corner of the building. They had no idea you were listening, and that made you all the more invested in what they had to say.
“Who do they think they are? Flirting with captain Buggy, crew members, marines? It’s like they have no standards.” The man took a hit off his cigar, and laughed. “I mean seriously, no one in their right mind would want someone like that.” His laughter grew, and it made you all the more queasy.
“Come on man, Buggy’s oblivious. He doesn’t want them, if he did we’d know.” The other crew member said, “Unlike them, Buggy has some kind of standards. He’d never sink down to their level, he knows they flirt with anyone and everyone. How could he ever trust them regularly, not just in a relationship.”
They both laughed, but you’d had enough. What kind of person did they really think you were? It’s not like they even cared to ask. Were…were you really tugging Buggy along? No no…it’s not possible. He was the only person you wanted, and he flirted back! It wasn’t like you were anything official, but you still cared deeply for him. And…you just hoped he thought so of you too.
Upon entering the ship, you went right to where the loud laughter of your captain was. He always loved being the center of attention, and maybe a little flirting here and there would make you feel better. It always warms your heart to have attention from the man you cared for. So when you approached him as he sang and drank with his crew, you weren’t expecting the cold kind of treatment you received.
“Hey Buggs, I-” You started smiling wide at him, but the smile disappeared when he cut you off with a glare. It was a look you’d seen him make at others, but never you. Maybe over your head, but still never directed AT you.
“Not now. I’m not doing this shit anymore.” He growled, but something in his eyes told you there was something more to it. But…after hearing that conversation, you couldn’t ask him. Your mind swarmed with insecurity, and you tried to not assume he was flat out rejecting you in front of everyone like this.
“B-But Buggs! I thought we could-” You tried to pull up the menu from the restaurant, but he wouldn’t even look at it and his glare only got more intense. By now all the crew was silent, waiting in anticipation of what would happen next.
“Don’t “Buggs” me. Just stop flirting with me already. I’m sick of it. All you’re doing is teasing me, and it’s irritating the hell out of me.” He shooed you away, but you had so much to say still. He gave you a menacing look when you tried to approach, and it made the tears fall. His look turned softer briefly, but he knew he had to stand his ground.
“Teasing? I…Buggs…I mean Captain Buggy. I’m not trying to tease you, I just really….I…” It was hard to get the words out, as you tried not to sob openly. Hearing a couple chuckles from the crew only made it harder. Some escaped, and now all your feelings bubbled out. “I love you, you idiot! I’m not trying to tease you, I want to BE with you. But I know…I know you deserve better.” Tear after tear, and your vision was so blurry you couldn’t see his face clearly.
“I can’t provide for you what you deserve, but damn it if I don't try my best. I want you, I want all your flaws, your scars, everything! If I wasn’t good enough you should have just told me outright.” With that, you ran to your room, ignoring when he called for you. You locked the door and laid down against it as you sobbed. You didn’t want to give any of your crewmates the satisfaction of hearing you cry, so you covered your mouth with both hands to try and hold them in.
Not even a minute passed when someone knocked quietly on your door. It was a timid knock, as if they were afraid it would break under any amount of weight. “Go away!” You screamed, not wanting to deal with anyone right now. Not after you poured your heart out in front of the crew. Especially Buggy.
However Buggy himself was the one that spoke up from the other side of the door. “Please…let me in. I just want to talk.” He spoke softly, and you heard him mutter, “Fine. I see your shadow on the door. I’ll just talk here then.” You heard him shuffling, and he sat against the other side of the door to mimic you. “You better be listening, I’m not saying it twice.”
You didn’t so much as say a word, but he had your attention. Waiting and waiting for a rejection, your tears stopped then started again. The fears and insecurities you had weighed on your mind. It was hard to think of anything else, aside from how he would cast you aside. Remove you from his crew. You might never get to see the man you loved again.
“I never thought someone could love me.” It was unexpected, and your brows furrowed in confusion. “With my nose, my temper, and generally being a shitty person. Not to mention my disgusting nose.” He sighed, and your attention was fully centered on his words. “I love you. But I always figured you were flirty with more than just me. That you were being cruel, and toying with me feelings because of how fucking obvious I was and am about my feelings for you.”
He stood up, but you had ripped the door open and tackled him to the ground. “DON’T EVER SAY THAT!” Now you were crying, but for an entirely different reason. He looked at you baffled, “You’re perfect! You’re not shitty, you’re amazing…don’t ever say anything bad about yourself again!” You began to kiss him all over his face, stopping on his nose. “Every inch of you is everything I’ve ever wanted.” Kisses on his nose didn’t stop, even as you noticed how red his face had become.
“You…you really mean it?” He tried not to stutter, but it proved to be difficult with how flustered he was right now. “If you really mean it…no more flirting. With anyone but me.” He looked determined, and he cupped your cheeks in his hands, before pulling you close and leaning towards your ear. “Promise me…you will and always will have eyes for only me.”
Seeing that he was already getting jealous, was filling you with joy. He really did love you…just as much as you loved him. In the end, you didn’t even WANT to flirt with anyone else. If it meant he would be yours, you would burn the world and everything in it just to be with him. No one else in that moment mattered, so you said the following words with conviction and resolve.
“I promise, Buggs. For now and forever, I’m yours.”
“And I’m yours.”
#buggy x reader#buggy headcanons#buggy the clown#one piece#one piece fanfiction#opla buggy#one piece x reader#buggy x you#one piece live action#one piece fluff
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How do you think a genderbent Savanaclaw would be like? Cuz, personally, I dont think Ruggie and Jack's respective personality and backstory would be changed but given Sunset Savannah's more gender equal society, it begs the question on how Leona wouldve been treated if he were a girl. Would he still have been feared and looked down upon? Would he have been more respected? Would there be different expectations on Leona?
***JUST A QUICK THING:*** I go off on a tangent about some feminist and egalitarian points in this post; I wasn't sure if I should tag them as content warnings or not (since I don't think those topics are too contentious?), but I wanted to at least slap this little message on here for those who may prefer to not read too deeply into that.
In the case of sexual dimorphism in wolves, male ones are larger and more aggressive (some sources I looked at also said males’ fur is fluffier). For hyenas, it is the females who larger and more aggressive than the males. As for lions, the males are larger and stronger (+ they have manes), but it is usually the lionesses that do most of the hunting. (Note that in Twisted Wonderland, lionesses are said to be stronger than lions.)
If those traits were to be carried over to fem!Jack and Ruggie, well 🤔 it’d probably have an impact in how they present themselves and in some behaviors, although I don’t think to such an extent that they come off as totally different characters. I don’t get the sense that these changes in personality and/or minor physical traits would alter their backstories in any significant way either 🤷♀️ This is honestly true of most genderbent characters; unless there’s some inherent part of their past, identity, or other lore tied to the concept of their gender, then it doesn’t largely impact the story, their background, or their character. (For example, Epel struggles with having his views of traditional masculinity and femininity challenged by Vil; Epel also has insecurities associated with how naturally feminine he looks despite wanting to be seen as “manly”. How would these issues be perceived and addressed differently if it were fem!Epel wanting to be masculine, given that society more readily accepts a girl wanting to be a tomboy over a guy that presents as feminine?)
I don’t know if I’d call the Afterglow Savanna necessarily more “gender equal” just based on the one bit of lore about how most warriors (especially the high-ranking ones) are women. I guess it’s more “gender equal” if we compared it to some societies in the real world, but different societies differ in their values; there is no set monolith for comparison.
Another thing to think about is that we don’t actually have a lot of information about what it's like to be a woman in that the Afterglow Savanna. We know that women are respected, but I don't know if that's really an indicator of anything since ‘respecting’ is a vague term. It doesn’t automatically mean that women are put on pedestals or that they are treated the same as men. (Consider that we don't know about how women are perceived in other placed in Twisted Wonderland to use as a means for comparison. To say the Afterglow Savanna is "more" gender equal means there is something else that sets the baseline and is being compared to; in this case, we don't have that baseline.) On top of that, we only know a little about a single specific sector (military/the royal guard), which probably makes up only a fraction of the total women in the Afterglow Savanna; we don’t know if women are actually given equal opportunities on a larger scale or how that compares to those of men. (Like… what about women in STEM, art, etc??) It’s premature to suggest their entire society seems more gender equal based on just one area of specialty.
Something else I have to wonder is this: if the women of the Afterglow Savanna are mostly expected to be "strong" warrior types, is that truly "equal" if it's basically no different than shoehorning them into any other position in life (for example, stay-at home spouses, or expecting men to also be a certain way)? There tends to be this belief that if women are in a traditionally male dominated role (ie warriors/soldiers), then that's empowerment. That's true to some extent, but that pigeonholes female empowerment into one "type" and leads to looking down on others that don't fit that mold (ie traditionally feminine women). In truth, true female empowerment is when women are free to choose to do whatever they want without repercussions or judgment, whether that means being traditionally feminine, traditionally masculine, or anything inbetween.
I can kind of see why you’d come to the conclusion that you did, but 💦 I hesitate to agree with the phrasing. There isn’t a lot of evidence for the Afterglow Savanna being more egalitarian than other societies in the TWST world (or in the real world, for that matter).
fbjswbksksow Okay, back to the topic at hand! While Leona doesn’t have a large struggle that ties in with his gender, there is lore surrounding gender which may have had an impact on his (er, her?) childhood. In Leona’s post-OB flashback, we see a bunch of servants gossiping about Leona’s incredible power and being terrified of him because of it. Because females typically make up the warriors for the Afterglow Savanna and are admired for their strength, it’s possible that fem!Leona wouldn’t have received the same harsh criticisms that OG!Leona did?? As a woman, her powers would be admired as being a trait befitting a powerful and noble warrior. This, however, creates a dilemma and a contradiction for the main story—“How is fem!Leona supposed to be angsty and OB if they don’t get the same kind of childhood trauma as male Leona did?”
First of all, I’m going to avoid the “high expectations are put on Leona to take over the Lion Guard, so she gets stressed out” route because it doesn’t carry the same energy as the original. It gives way too much “hope” for the future when the OG idea is that Leona has none and keeps being beaten down no matter how hard he tries. Here are some alternate proposals for fixes (though, admittedly, none of them are perfect and they’re just ideas I came up with off the top of my head):
Make the servants dislike and fear Leona anyway regardless of gender. chajwjksksdo This is the laziest option in terms of rewrites (and ignores parts of canon lore), but I figured I’d slap it on here anyway 🤡
Make the situation progressive. Maybe everyone praised Leona at first, but then they grew to be fearful of her as she grew up (and her powers along with her). This option lacks the childhood trauma being concentrated in the past and is more of a slow burn. The issue with this one is that I don’t know if Leona’s bitterness would be as intense if the servants were so slow in the development of their apprehension.
#Leona Kingscholar#Vil Schoenheit#twst genderbend#twisted wonderland genderbend#AU#twst AU#twisted wonderland AU#Epel Felmier#Ruggie Bucchi#Jack Howl#notes from the writing raven#question#Savanaclaw#Kalim Al-Asim#Jamil Viper#Scarabia#Farena Kingscholae#Falena Kingscholar
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Divine Feminines,
This may trigger some people, ((so major trigger warning)) I am not here to sugarcoat spiritual guidance and relationship lessons though I come from a loving space always. I am just sharing my wisdom to the Divine Feminine collective to protect them and show them how to spot a provider Divine Masculine. Switch your terms as you or they identify.
A true Divine Masculine is more difficult to spot because you cannot judge a book by its cover. Do not expect him to be the most romantic and charming masculine. Although he may be more romantic than you. The true Divine Masculine is more focused on providing, building, and showing his Divine Feminine through actions how he feels about the feminine. Do not expect him to be using his words all the time. Remember a Divine Masculine can be in a female body and a Divine Feminine can be in a male body. There are more than two genders, replace what you identify as you see yourself. The Divine Masculine is more action based and he's not interested in looking his best all the time, that's where you come in and nurture him to treat him like a King. The true Divine Masculine is going to be very careful about not scaring you away upon first meeting. He is not going to jeopardize scaring you away by doing something to turn you off, like rushing you, like treating you like an option, like touching you too soon when you're not ready, like not paying for dinner ect. He's going to be on his best behavior while still showing you who he is.
A feminine energy man is a smooth talker, he's a charmer and he's going to be writing you long text messages, calling you, showering you with compliments in the beginning, and he's all talk --no action. He's on his Xbox or computer, replying back, thinking I'm going to sleep with her get what I want soon. Ignore the talking stage. He should be setting up romantic dinners, picking the place himself based off your preference and if he's texting you obsessively, instead of taking you out, you'll know he's a feminized man. How you can spot a feminized man is yes he's a talker, he's focused on status, he's asking you what you do for work so he can judge you and use you for money. A real masculine doesn't care how much money you have. He already needs to be your provider. If you have a career or job, he's supportive if it makes you happy, but would never ask you to pay any bill. He's laser focused on attaining you and he's asking you deep thoughtful questions on a first date. A feminized man is watching a lot of porn (which requires no work or challenge keeping him in his feminine energy not attracting but repelling) and drinking a lot of alcohol (both feminize men, lowering testosterone levels) not knowing he's repelling all women away from him with that creepy energy he's unaware of. He's focused on, "what can I get, how can I use this person.." He feels lack within himself.
The feminine energy man will be very focused on manipulating and controlling you so that he can use you in anyway he can to get his needs met. The feminine energy man believes that control comes from external means which is false, fear based third dimensional thinking, true control comes from within. He's insecure in himself, he's needy, he's blaming you and everyone around him which is automatically repelling women away. He's very focused on his looks and what kind of car he drives. From the outside he/they may look masculine, but he/they truly believes you're there to heal his mother wound and he will treat you like you're his mother. (How romantic). Expect the relationship to go downhill after three months of dating, because his goal was to use you from the beginning, it was never to provide for you and love you correctly.
The good news is when you are properly operating in your Feminine energy and he is in his masculine energy, you will be drawn together like magnets. But first the Universe will give you more of the old energies you're used to to see if you've really evolved or not. So it's important to see the red flags first so you are not as the woman/feminine energy, operating in your masculine energy all the time. It's okay to be in it sometimes, but you need to create a healthy balance, otherwise you will find yourself becoming irritated, exhausted, angry and resentful. If you start leading him, pursuing him, chasing him you will switch roles and you will end up becoming his provider and substitute for his mother wound.
If you ever meet His/their mother or parents, or people that raised them, you are under NO obligation to obey his parents, you are NOT their new daughter, you have your own voice and decisions to make, you are not their new supply to abuse. He/they should NOT expect you to listen to his mother especially if she's disrespectful to you. He should always defend you. Always, articulate your feelings with your Divine masculine, instead of being passive aggressive, instead of saying nothing is wrong and that you are fine. You are not fine, use your words with him to stay in your feminine energy. Tell him exactly what's wrong and if he is a mature masculine, he will find a way to solve the problem if he really cares about your feelings.
If he has a mother wound, and you become his replacement for that mother wound you will become repelled by each other. He will start cheating on you, treating you like yesterday's trash. Instead, inspire him, share your soul with him, appreciate him, and when he leads you for example picking a restaurant to eat at instead of waiting for you to lead him, you will say, thank you for picking a place to eat for us and taking the initiative. That's leading, he's in his masculine energy making you feel protected, safe, loved, taken care of and led. If someone is manifesting you and you have multiple thoughts about them throughout the day, you'll know and you must never reach out first. They must take physical action in the 3d by texting or calling you first, because that's expecting you to do the work and lead by reaching out first. Never ever reach out to him if he's manifesting you. He's in his feminine, not in his Divine Masculine King Energy by making you chase him, no he's thinking he's the girl, he's the Divine Feminine playing your role. Just ignore him. A person or man is not your responsibility, he's not your child, do not try to control him. If he can't make decisions for himself, or he makes immature decisions that means he's not ready for a Divine Union.
The feminine energy man is going to expect you to make all decisions for yourself and him. He's going to expect you to do all the work. Never ever do this, always stay in receiving mode. Expect him to call you the villain when you start loving yourself fully, this has nothing to do with you. You are doing yourself a disservice by people pleasing him. Expect the feminine energy man to be dishonest, impatient, losing his temper often, abusive, will never protect you, never takes accountability for his lower vibrational actions ect.
The Divine Masculine is the opposite of course, he's taking steps to heal himself, he's truthful even if the truth hurts, he's very protective of you, he/they would NEVER raise a hand to you, he never cheats on you, he/they will always stick up for you, he/they will go out of his way to make you happy, he is never in competition with you, he will always compromise with you, he is very passionate about you, he/they will never put you down, he/they believe you the first time, he/they never blames anyone for his faults, he/they knows he's not perfect, he provides, he is stable and grounded, he's not selfish, he celebrates you, he fights for you always and he/they always takes accountability for his actions and cares about you deeply.
If you want to experience that Divine love that you so desire, you have to create and experience that Divine union with yourself first, the Divine union is always with yourself first. To truly understand Divine love you have to BE the love you desire to receive. Romance yourself first, everyday in everyway and you will automatically attract a Divine love reflection of the love you have for yourself.
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Home
I found this little piece of work in my documents, and I realized that I haven’t post it yet.
So here it is... I hope you are enjoying it! Jason is such a sweetie, and Salim is just as beautiful as always.
I love them.
۩๑ ๑۩
Badra was something else, smelled something else; something different and yet the same as his far distant memories. As far as he remembered, the forest surrounded his parent’s house was caressed by the morning sunset, protected by the trees and a soft wind always whispered words in his ears. When he was alone, the woods were there to comfort him and held him in their firm but sweet embrace. Melina felt that too, she knew how the world around seemed to protect them both; the children of the south, so noisy and insecure despite everything else.
Their parents weren’t so bad; they were never beaten by their hands. Their family was, in fact, “casual” but it wasn’t perfect either. Their mother was always far away, too busy searching for God and for people to understand his truth; and their father... Well, he taught them how to use a rifle and hold them when they needed it but… He never got it right. He wasn’t so bad, however not so good either. He was just a man, a man doing his best for his children. So many times, he tried to connect with Jason; so many times, it failed. Even if he didn’t say it loud and clear, Mels was always her favorite. He loved his daughter more than his son, and with a mother so eager to leave the house for the town, the boy was left alone for hours and hours.
But when everyone else was gone, the forest remained. It was listening to him, and sometimes, when the days were dark and the thoughts so confused, it sang lullabies to him. Jason never understood it, however it was reassuring to be loved by someone, something in the woods. Whatever it was, this thing was there when no one else was.
And Badra felt the same. He was here for… How many? Two, maybe three days, and yet Jason felt it; this strange and warm feeling of comprehension. When the night fell on the houses, Jason knew it was out there. The village was looking after him, keeping it eyes wide-open so it could protect him. In this place, the vampires were powerless; even if they survived the flames and the smokes, the collapse of their own city in their head, they couldn’t harm the man here. Badra kept him safe and sound.
Once, Salim spotted him gazing the dying light. Once, he moved closer to him and said, quietly:
“Allah is watching over you, Jason.”
And for the first time in his life, he thought “maybe”. Maybe there is a God, and maybe he thinks I aint so bad. His eyes watched as the night took over the day, as his hand reached for Salim’s and then, suddenly, they kissed each other.
Jason didn’t know who started it, and frankly it didn’t matter. Their desire became so clear at the nightfall. If there were really a God upon their head, he must have smiled as he saw those men discovering the other for the very first time. Their hands explored everything, the beauty and the flaws of the flesh; their eyes looked deep into their similar and found more than love; they found home.
Home. A word so simple and meaningful in the same way.
Salim and him kissed, again. They tasted each other, smelled the dust, the sun which has warmed their skin, the spices and the flowers. They embraced each part of them, no matter how imperfect it was for others. Jason never minded the round belly of his lover; it was so sweet and warm between his fingers. Home. He knew he could rest his head against it for a thousand years and never get bored of it. He loved the shape of Salim’s lips; it was softer than he expected. And he drowned in his dark eyes, those two pearls so eager to express affection and to be worship by someone who worth it. Home.
Badra watched over them and sang that night, just like the forest of Jason’s childhood. Other people didn’t matter anymore, the war didn’t matter, and neither was the life and death of everything. It was all about them and about that gentle thought running through their skin, home. A home which was found in the eye of the chaos, next to the echoes of booming and hatred; home for the lonely souls.
“أحبك”
Was whispered by those lips, like a whisper carried by the wind into his mind. Jason didn’t understand the words, but he got the meaning of it. He knew; because Salim’s eyes already hummed it without second thinking. And he answered those kind feelings with a smile. “I love you too.”
And when the sun rose again, Jason knew the thing followed him; from his old house to the place where Salim asked him to stay. Maybe there was a God after all, and not the bad kind. Maybe he looked for him and saw the beauty of his soul, the one no one else seemed to notice, except his littler sister and Nicky, so he offered him someone; a good man. Salim. Jason didn’t like to think of the Iraqi as a reward, but it could explain why the guy was so patient and kind with him. Maybe, Allah, or whatever his name might be, is real. Perhaps, the whispers he heard since he was a lad told him that somehow, somewhere, he could find a permanent place to stay and a heart to cherish him.
“What are you thinking about?” Salim’s voice awoke him, as he was drowning under the thoughts of being, for once, the man someone has chosen. He couldn’t help a smile on his face, then he rolled his shoulders and laid next to his lover, who was waiting for an answer.
“Just thinking about my luck” he said, and shortly after the Iraqi dropped a kiss on his cheek. He was giggling, and Jason recognized the song of the woods in it. “Don’t mock me, you fucking smartass, I’m being sentimental here, for once”.
“Oh? Really? Then, tell me exactly what you were thinking about, Habibi. I’m curious.” How could he? Jason wasn’t used to express his feelings; however, Salim gave him the courage he needed to. His eyes were full of understanding as he placed a hand on his face before his fingers started to caress him. “Well...” Jason shyly spoke as the lips of the older man seemed so tempting. “I was just... Y’know… Thinking that… Well… I finally got it.”
“Got what, Jason?”
“Home.”
They shared a moment of silence, as their eyes caught, and their hands ran across each other. Not a word escaped their mouths; they didn’t need those for knowing and thinking the same. Home. They were each other’s home. And it felt right, just right and written by a force they couldn’t comprehend. For Salim, it was God, and even if Jason tended to believe in his presence, he liked to imagine his childhood’s forest coming to life only for him. And following until now.
In the distance, he saw a leaf, a single one, wagging thought the air. Jason knew it came to say goodbye to him, and he heard the wind around it whispering those few words: “You’re home. You’re safe. Take care of you and him, Jason. Farewell, my old friend.”
#writing#jalim#salim othman#jason kolchek#the dark pictures anthology#house of ashes#house of shipping#house of cuties#They are so in love with each other#GOD DAMN#I love them
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Exchange Love story ~
My initials: MI
My preference: men
YOUR Love Story:
- first meeting:
I'm sensing somewhere you can see the horizon.
Like by beach or by the bay/port area.
The sun is setting.
It can be any typical, regardless of what day of the week.
I hear, "unexpected miracles in everyday life".
Like you never expected something amazing on such an ordinary day.
It could be, you leisurely strolling by a park or plaza and just end up enjoying the sunset by the water.
Intuition is not letting me share more, like it's a blurry image of colliding vibrant colors from there.
"Don't ruin the surprise", said my intuition.
So I'm not sure if there would be a local outdoor event that you happen to stumble upon or what.
The vibrant colors remind me of balloons and confetti.
I'm not allowed to divulge further than this aspect.
- first impression of your person:
Two words: "Pleasant surprise".
This person is like a breath of fresh hair for you.
Like, you could have been so tired from working all day.
Like an unexpected friendship.
You thought, "this person seems interesting. Okay, let's be friends." without you ever realizing that this person will be so much more for you in a few months after your first encounter.
Could be a bit taller than you.
Someone you didn't expect to know about a niche interest of yours.
Like, "Wait, you actually know about (insert topic)?! No way!!! I'm into that too!!"
I'm sensing this person ends up unexpectedly complimentary for you.
Like, you wouldn't even realise that you've fallen for this person.
I'm hearing the song, "Never Knew I Needed" by Neyo.
It's from the Princess and Frog movie.
That movie might be something you've watched before.
It's actually giving me that vibe. You two.
Like you work hard day in day out, so searching for Future spouse isn't really your main priority.
Also, I'm getting this person carries their outfit well.
A great body line. Like they wear the clothes, and not the clothes overwhelming them.
Not exactly strict brand conscious person, but they dress well.
Even on regular outfits, they're quite fashionable.
Also, you two might have a bit of a height difference.
Also age. And culture(?) not really sure of you're from two different foreign cultures or what. Like it could be, one of you is from the west coast, the other one is from the east coast.
Finally, your person is quite eloquent with their way of speaking.
- relationship dynamics:
Chaotic fun. Those two words came out so naturally.
Like you both know when to work hard and when to play hard.
But one of you might be anxious attachment style and the other is a bit more detached and tends to need space when overwhelmed.
I'm hearing, work on your communication skills if you want this to be a lifetime thing.
"Don't let the past override the great things in front of you."
That message was significant.
So one of you might be the jealous type, as the other is a bit pragmatic.
But both parties are wiling to put in the work to make the relationship work.
But yeahhhhhhhh, if the anxious person is feeling insecure, put their pride aside and please communicate.
"Be bigger than your anxiety". Message for the person that's anxious and insecure.
- personality:
Your person seems to be more grounded and mature.
Kinda no nonsense and pragmatic.
But they know how to have fun, especially around you.
It's giving, "(Insert FS'name) is only like that around (Y/N)"
Like they show their soft side only in front of you.
Example: they don't listen to other people's opinions and guidance, but for you, they'd drop everything and be open to hear you out.
Like that. I find it sweet that you two work hard and play hard in your individual careers. But when it comes to your relationship, ego and pride has no place in there because both of you are willing to make things work out.
You two know you are endgame. So you both are willing to do what is necessary for the relationship and each other.
- Moodboard :
Photos aren't mine. Searched in from Pinterest.
As much as I wanna give a NSFW details, my intuition was like,
"NOPE DON'T RUIN THE SURPRISE!!! SHHHHHHHH!!!"
I'm like, "Dang it!! That good huh??"
And my intuition last response was...
I do hope you enjoyed this!
Your Future spouse really don't want me to ruin the surprise.
OH MY GOOOSH THIS READING IS SO GOOD AND IT RESONATES SO MUCH, WTF GIRL HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?? have you been in my mind lol? IT RESONATES SO MUCH ESPECIALLY THAT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ANXIETY (cause i am anxious person as hell) I LOVE IT. MY PERSON SEEMS SO CUTE AHH IT MAKES ME SMILE AND MY HEART WARM AHH😭😭❤️❤️ I LOVE IT SO MUCH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT LONG READING. and i love these pics!! they're so cool❤️❤️🌸🌸 thank you once agaaain
FIRST MEETING
well, first of all, I have a feeling that it will happen when you least expect it. I know it sounds cliché, but it will be true. love will come to you when you won't look for it. I think it will take some time before you find him, BUT, you will definitely find him one day!🩷
and how will you meet him? I don't know why, but I immediately thought of two options, either through social medias/dating apps or through a mutual friend? even both options can be correct. you will definitely have mutual friends.❤️🫶🥰
I think that when you meet him, you will immediately be attracted to him. damn, you'll immediately think he's so cute. but I have a feeling that you won't really believe that he would want you too, honey I have a message for you from the Universe: you are beautiful and if others can't see it, that's their problem.
ok i feel like he will notice you later BUT.. you know that quote she fell first but he fell harder? exactly the same will apply to both of you.😍
it will take time to get together, to get to know each other better, but it will be worth it.
It is possible that he will have a younger sibling who will adore you
FIRST IMPRESSION OF YOUR PERSON
As I mentioned before, you'll think you're out of his league. But YOU WON'T BE. He will make you a little nervous, you will feel shy around him, but that is what he will like about you, that you are very cute.
You will have butterflies in your stomach with him. Ahh.🥺🥰
I have a feeling he'll be a lot more confident than you. He will be very happy to give you compliments and boost your confidence when you feel down. He will want to make you laugh, to make you feel safe with him.
I still have a picture in my head of a man wearing a blue shirt, light clothes. He dresses stylishly but comfortably. And he will smell very nice, you will love his perfume.
I don't feel like he'll have a beard, nor that he'll be older than you. He will be around your age, maybe 1 year older.🤔
Sports! Yes, this man loves sports. He will definitely have a nice body, athletic. He will like to take you out into nature, and he will want you to feel healthy. He will also be an animal lover, he will possibly have a dog.
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
I think that you will also have a big height difference between you, he will be much taller than you.
I think this man will want to protect you, he will be overprotective.
He will be the whole world to you. You will feel safe with him. I don't see any serious problems here, but maybe he will still want to go out with his friends and you would prefer him to be with you... he will really have a lot of friends.
I see a couple where the girl is sitting on the guy. You are that couple, it will be immediately visible in public that you are dating. You won't be doing PDA, but you will be hugging, holding hands, and looking at each other.🥺🥺🩷
PERSONALITY
As I already mentioned, he is a man who is funny, you will always laugh with him. He is the type of person who will provide all the fun at a party, for example. But what not many people know about him is that he is quite clingy, but you won't mind. Oh, I see bedtime cuddles here, it's so cute. He will still want to hug you and sometimes he will tease you, but in a good way. He will love you, I know that. And I see lot of texts here he will send you random memes.😅😍😩🩷
NSFW:
Long gentle sex. Long foreplay. Orall. I don't think you will practice quick sex, you will want to enjoy sex. He will be more experienced in this area than you and you will find it sexy!
Have a lovely day/night and I really hope you liked my reading! 🩷❤️
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𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
pairing ▎eddie munson x steve harrington
length ▎semi-long
warnings ▎takes place after season 4. swearing. use of weed. eddie and steve singing and bonding (it may be a bit cringy). love confession. kissing. small insecurities(?) throughout. fluffy, sweet, kind of mysterious eddie at the end. sorry if I missed any!
summery ▎eddie came over steve's place to sell him a new product, but the two ended up hanging out together. steve reveals he actually took eddie's advice and looked into some rock bands, which leads to a love confession.
a/n: i'm not saying this will be great, but I loved this idea in my head. I want to be all mysterious so the song, and band, will be mentioned in the imagine below. I hope you all enjoy :). ps not fully proof read, sorry for any errors.
another note: my dumbass didn't research the release date of the song until after I wrote most of this imagine... cause, ya know, the band has been around for a while. so, we're gonna pretend like it was released in the early 80's instead of late 1991. I didn't feel like rewriting the entire scene or finding an new song.
6.10.22
don't say anything about the gifs not lining up right, I'm aware 💔.
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𝐬teve wasn't expecting on having company that night, more for the fact that he was in bad mood due to the power going out and for his parents leaving, once again. but then he found the generator they kept in the garage for emergencies, kicked it on and called eddie to see if he had another supply of marijuana come in. fortunately for him, he had just gotten new bud - that led to munson coming over his house to drop off the awaited order. him and steve began talking, and somehow, someway that landed them in steve's room; both sprawled out on the babysitter's bed with smoke spiraling around them.
“ never rolled you out as the kind of guy to be a fan of sissy spacek, harrington. ” eddie stuttered out a choked laugh, upon speaking up right after taking a drag from the tightly rolled joint the two were passing back and forth. a carrie white poster was pinned up against the wall by thumb tacks, displayed for anyone that entered the room, to see, considering it was so huge. seeing as steve didn't seem like the type to be too into horror, or that kind anyway, it took the guitarist off guard and caused him to let out a clouded burst of laughter; coughs following forth.
rolling his eyes, the short-haired brunette took the joint he was offered; pinching it between two fingers before inhaling, and letting the chemicals sit in his lungs for a few seconds. “ yeah, ” he began, as he blew out the smoke. “ well... never thought you'd be the kind of guy I'd consider a friend, yet here we are. ”
hearing steve the hair harrington refer to him as a friend, made eddie feel fuzzy inside; It's like he accomplished something that seemed impossible, and he was proud of that. though, the heavy feeling in his chest that followed after it didn't seem too great. “ I wouldn't say friends, ” the male stated, a playful ring to his voice as he looked over at steve; a smile stretching across his lips. “ more like we're just two dudes that smoke together. ”
steve looked over at him with an indifferent look, and for a moment, both men just stared at one another.. before harrington elbowed him in his ribs, which caused eddie to laugh loudly and roll to the side. he nearly fell off of the bed, but caught himself; thus, leading the other to let out crackles of laughter, of his own.
“ shut up, man! ” eddie pushed himself to restructure in the position, he was previously in. with a slight annoyed, but not really serious look now on his face, he knocked shoulders with steve before taking the joint back. “ wasn't funny. ” but, steve was still laughing, which made the male glare at him.
“ you're not funny either. ” he sneered, placing the end of the nearing-roach back to his mouth. a small inhale was taken, enough to amp up his buzz but not make him choke, before it was blown out a few seconds later. dragging his gaze off of the other, a small smirk cracked at the corner of his lips while he stared forward, at the wall. “ dick.. ” eddie mumbled, while holding out the last of the zol.
“ I'm.. ” coughing out the last of his wheezing laughter, steve slowly sat up; bending one leg to where his ankle crossed over his lower thigh, and his stomach slightly rolled forward due to him being hunched over. “ I'm sorry - I just, ” his shoulders lightly shook, while another small rumble slipped out. “ — I just didn't expect you to fall. ”
eddie watched steve from the corner of his eyes, watching him pinch his lips together in attempt to not spill out another wave of humerus giggles. it was adorable seeing him like that, but the male wouldn't voice that out loud; it'd be a rather dead give away that he had feelings, wouldn't it? which is why he chose to look away, as well. he would rather be suspected as a murderer again, rather than have steve catch him looking at him, as if he were the most beautiful creature in the universe.
deciding that the spliff was just about ran down, eddie leaned over towards the ashtray that sat on the bed side stand and stubbed it out. “ I didn't expect to fall either.. ” and although the words held a deeper meaning, steve was far too up in the clouds to even consider that munson practically said how he feels.
not another word was spoken as eddie laid back, only to stare up at the ceiling of steve's room. he didn't even notice before, given that he wasn't really paying attention, but a black and white print out of debra winger, in a cropped tank that laced in the front and jean shorts, positioning her legs outwards so that they resembled a butterfly, was flatly taped to his ceiling. the photo wasn't too revealing, but she wasn't exactly covered either. “ really, harrington? ” eddie barked out a laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the process.
“ what? ” steve, who had been staring off into space thinking about god knows what, lulled his head to the side dramatically to look over at eddie. once eddie turned his own head, his eyebrows shot up in amusement and his eyes ticked to the ceiling. steve, cluelessly, looked upwards... only for his eyes to widen.
“ shit! ” he hissed, panicked. “ I forgot that was up there! ” while he scrambled to get up, though wobbly, eddie laughed his ass off in absolute enjoyment. he knew steve didn't hide the fact that he was into hot people women, but he didn't actually expect to see a poster like that on the babysitter's ceiling; his family seemed too proper to let him have such a thing.
“ relax! ” the fluffy haired male ended up grabbing his friend by the arm, to stop him from tumbling to the ground by moving too fast. steve immediately halted, looking at eddie with wide eyes as if he just let the boy see the most horrible shit in history. but eddie, rather calm now, simply grinning at him, just shook his head while releasing the hold on him, he had. “ it's not a big deal, dude. it just caught me by surprise. ”
steve was unsure if he should trust eddie's word or not. usually, he wouldn't freak about something like so; he wouldn't care, and it's not like he hides the fact that he's a bit... appreciative of beauty. but eddie munson, guy he's been tripping around since they were trapped in the upside down together, seeing something so suggestive in his bedroom? his hearted nearly leapt out of his chest. not only was it embarrassing in itself, but the guitarist most likely wouldn't let him live this down, even if he did say it was alright.
“ come on, harrington- ”
“ steve. ”
eddie's lip parted, his eyes darting away in a confused manner. “ what? ” he questioned, once he made an unsure face at the other.
“ steve. ” harrington breathed, barely audible. though, clearing his throat, he fixed his stance; standing up a bit straighter to match the raising tone he spoke with next. “ call me steve... not harrington. ” just rolling his own last name off of his tongue, felt wrong, so imagine how he felt hearing his actual crush call him that again and again.
after a beat of silence, munson pondering in his mind why his friend suddenly sounded off, he slowly nodded his head in hesitant agreement. “ alright... ” he retracted the arm he had previously reached out to steve, continuing to roll onto his back, in the position he was beforehand. “ steve it is. I'm cool with steve. ”
of course, a verbal response wasn't given - but that's only because the guy's brain practically melted into mush. hearing eddie say his first name, his preferred name, made his heart do things that most likely weren't even normal. since he didn't want to seem anymore weird than he was, though, he slid in next to the other; laying flat on his own back to stare up at the ceiling.
that god damn poster, though.
“ remember how you told me about that guy, uh... ozzy osbourne, right? ” steve slightly tilted his head to emphasize he was thinking, but not once did he look at eddie again. eddie, nodding, mumbled a small ‘ yeah ’ while drawing his brows together. why was he bringing that up? “ well, uh.. ” the former swiped his tongue over his lips, while sparing the curly haired male a glance. “ I started looking into rock n’ roll. some of the bands aren't that bad. ”
raising a single brow, eddie decided to turn his head towards steve with a questioning look. “ what are you getting at? ”
another glance was spared munson's way, but instead of responding, steve threw his legs over the side of his bed before scooting off the edge. gliding over to the stereo he bought not too long ago, he switched it on; draining even more of the power that the generator supplied, just to listen to one track of the band he came to like.
“ what are you doing? ” sitting up, bending his leg upwards on instinct and resting both of his arms over his knee, in a crossed position, eddie tilted his head forwards to stare at steve with a solemn expression. “ you better not be putting on some fairy dust bullshit that you consider ro- ”
“ I'm not. ” steve interrupted the metalist before he could continue, holding up his index finger in gesture for him to wait, while he slid a tape into the open slot. after closing the lidded opening, the male turned the volume dial up a few cues. “ just listen. ” he turned towards eddie, a rather excited grin etching onto his lips once the beat began sounding. “ I promise it's not a waste. ”
signing, munson finally settled and chose to listen to the song. the beat that thumped to life instantly became familiar to him, which made his eyes flicker to steve's; a large smile taking over his face, that had even the size of the planet beat. “ right now? ”
steve bounced his brows, nodding. “ by the one and only van halen. ”
it was clear as day eddie loved this song; this band. his sock-clad foot, that was on the mattress, moved up and down to the rhythm of the song. the longer the beat flowed, the better it got; the guitar stums melting in with the piano notes, before the pressing of the keys change altogether into something more catchy. the sound of perfectly vibrating cymbals sync in with the melody instantly, bringing it more to life, which causes eddie to finally jump out of his seated position and nod his head aggressively once he's on his legs.
wasn't long before the drums began sounding steadily, yet in a harsh rythem; keeping in toe with the pianist and now more bleeding, guitar rips. munson's hair was swinging around at that point; strands seeming to flow in the air longer then his head banging took, since his tuffs couldn't quite seem to keep up with his chaotic movement. steve could only stare, eyes resembling ones of a doe-eyed deer, while his lips were parted in awe.
“ don't want to wait 'til tomorrow! ” eddie began singing, his voice loud. eyes closed, he tilted his head back, dramatically raising his fist to the air as if he were actually holding a microphone. ”
“ why put it off another day? ” steve looked eddie over, still mesmerized, before realizing he was the one to put the song on. why just stand around?
slightly smiling to himself, the brunette jogged over; not wasting a second to join in on the singing and fantastic performance.
“ one more walk through problems!
built-up and stands in our way, ah! ” both of them, now back to back, had their fingers curled into fists and raised to their mouths. singing into them loudly, did their knees bend and backs arch forward with passion.
“ one step ahead, one step behind me! ” eddie took the lead with that part, making sure to jump around, to where he was facing steve. this made the other laugh loudly, once he felt the movement behind him; causing harrington to open his eyes and face the man that was trying to hold back a huge grin, as they now stared at one another.
“ now you gotta run to get even,
make future plans or dream about yesterday, hey! ” munson jumped up, his shirt slightly riding up to reveal his pale torso. steve, accidentally, started to stare - but of course caught himself, and looked away. eddie didn't notice, thank god; he was too busy rocking out.
“ c'mon turn, turn this thing around, hey! ” he did one smooth head bang, before throwing his head back again.
“ It's your tomorrow!
(right now!),
c'mon, it's everything!
(right now!),
catch a magic moment, do it!
right here and now.. ” the guitarist faced steve full on this time, offering a smile filled with true euphoria. steve, despite having a racing heart since he almost exposed himself, returned the smile back.
the song seemed to play on in the background after that. eddie didn't pull his hues away from steve's own, and the main man in question seemed to be too captivated by munson's dark brown specs, to even think about looking somewhere else. time turned slower, and slower, while the room morphed into a static filled, inaudible mess; almost like he had been dunked underwater.
by now, eddie was standing up right; chest slowly heaving in ragged breathes. sweat now ran down his face, with his damp bangs clinging to his forehead from all the movement that went on with his hair. even though he looked wiped out, skin tinged red and all, harrington still found him to be absolutely breath taking.
it was odd how one minute, steve was stoned out of his mind and laughing about eddie nearly falling off of his bed. then, he was freaking out, absolutely panic-y about the metal head seeing not only an embarrassing picture, but nearly slipping up that he liked him. now, the male was busy edging closer to his friend, while eddie just stood there; mouth ajar in wonder, while his chocolate orbs bounced around the babysitter's face.
wait.. what was he doing?
immediately, realization dawned on steve. his steps halted, eyes slightly widening once he put together the reality of his actions. eddie didn't like him like that - he wasn't even into guys. hell, steve only accepted last week, that he actually had feelings for eddie; deep ones. so, why would someone like eddie munson, return the same emotions?
“ got to turn, c'mon turn this thing around, hey! ” everything seemed to reach steve's ears again, especially the lyrics blaring through the electric box that sat on his dresser. it made his head spin with a good, drunk-like feeling...
“ it's your tomorrow..
(right now!)
c'mon, it's everything!
(right now!) ” it's like eddie could feel, could hear the same message that steve did, because his eyes trailed over to the stereo, just looking... almost flabbergasted, completely taken off guard.. before he switched his attention right back onto the love struck male.
“ catch that magic moment, do it!
right here and now! ” and, it's like that's the only thing he needed to be told. steve couldn't predict his next movements, couldn't even see himself doing it at any other moment, but within just a millisecond, his lips were on eddie's.
munson wasn't prepared to come over to steve's house, not only to hang out, but to end up in a freeze frame moment that would come straight out of a romance film. it was odd, rarely heard of, but it didn't bother him in the least. kissing harrington was a dream come true for him. it's even better, that steve made the move himself.
but fuck, even then, he was slightly worried for a minute... steve was just staring at him. it kind of creeped him out, until whatever fucking being from the heavens above, decided to rope him in on what was happening; his hearing magically switching on once more, just to take in the words that were sounding out from steve's stereo. after he listened, while he listened... eddie knew why, finally, steve was looking at him that way.
it's the same way he looks at steve, when the oblivious puppy isn't looking; too busy caught up in his own head or whatever he's talking about. munson never thought he'd come up with the conclusion of the bat wielder returning his feelings, but shit.. he's glad he had this chance to find out.
arms circled steve's hips, pulling him closer while the feel of harrington's own arms, hugged him close by his middle. their lips moved against one another perfectly; attaching, then de-attaching, then moving in perfect lip-lock in a rhythm that was so familiar, you'd think they'd practiced it plenty times before. it wasn't the case, obviously; it was just two guys who knew each other so well, in a small amount of time.
eventually, lack of oxygen caught up to the two, which was a bitch and left steve ready to swear up and down the town. but both men knew they needed to breathe, or else this thing called dying would happen. It was irritating, but so be it; they pulled away, slowly, eyes fluttering.
harrington was the first to open his eyes. half-lidded gaze falling on eddie's face, studying how his eyes moved underneath his eyelids that didn't quite open yet. his lips were a little brighter now, given the circumstances, but they still looked as pretty as ever. he still looked as pretty as ever.
“ keep staring at me like that, and I might just think you have a little crush on me.. ” a teasing grin lifted, once munson managed to open his eyes and stare right back at steve. the small, playful glare he received was worth the comment. “ that was... ”
“ — something.. ” the other finished, voice not necessarily quiet, but a little under his normal volume. steve's eyes were softer than normal, and so was his tone; anyone from a miles' radius could see he was practically at his knees for the outcast. “ I didn't think- ”
“ — that I'd kiss back? ” eddie quipped, yet another smirk threatening to take over his twitching lips. once steve silently nodded, his gaze was tore away from the male. “ I didn't think you even liked me, to begin with.. ” eddie's dark orbs eyed the ends of his own hair, out of nervousness, before flickering up to meet steve's in a rather serious, yet unsure way. “ but I guess we both had a secret we were keeping quiet about. ”
though it was hesitant, steve still managed to crack a soft grin. he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, letting his eyes drift away from eddie's continuous, alluring stare. “ guess so.. ”
“ but.. ” anxiously, yet curiously, glowing specs flickered up to meet eddie's own again. “ I'm glad we hung out.. I would've - we would've never known, if we hadn't. ” an open mouthed, gleaming smile was given to the more shy of the two. “ you did good.. ” a hand trailed to find one of steve's, that had long fallen from eddie's body; palm slipping into his, only to squeeze gently. a thumb slipped over harrington's knuckles, caressing over them lovingly. “ I'm proud of you. I'm glad you kissed me. ”
he was silent for a minute, not really knowing how to go about that.. the words made steve's heart pound; flutter, to where he thought he might have a stroke. it made him feel nice. he just didn't know if he could speak, without stumbling over his own speech.
“ I, um.. ” he swallowed, adams apple bobbing; nervous eyes flickering back and forth between munson's own. “ thank you... I'm glad you kissed me back. ” leaning in towards eddie's face, he decided to just.. suck it up, and go with the flow of how things went. fuck it, right? “ I'm pretty sure I would've thrown myself out the window if you hadn't. ”
once steve offered a beaming, amusement filled smile, eddie let out a quiet chuxkle; the small rumble releasing from within his chest, before a full blown laugh was booming. he had to turn his head away to gather himself. “ sorry, sweetheart. the sudden boldness was just unexpected. ”
brows knitting together, steve could feel a new wave of warmth spreading up his neck. “ sweetheart? ”
nodding, the back of his hand positioned over his mouth to hide a growing smirk, eddie eyed him with a humor filled gaze. “ yeah.. sweetheart. is that a problem? ”
quickly, steve shook his head. “ no, no - not at all. ” he seemed dumbfounded, however. “ I just... didn't expect a pet name, is all. ” lower lip dipping out, his head cocked to the side. “ or to like it. ”
munson hummed, now fully turning towards steve. his steps seemed rather... sway-ish, though; almost free, yet laced with a teasing humor. eddie only ever seemed to get this way when he was extremely giddy. “ trust me, harrington, I'm full of surprises. ”
“ I told you to call me steve. ” a small glare was thrown eddie's way, but both knew it was in a more playful sense, than irritated. “ and what the hell is that supposed to mean? ”
eyes rolling skywards, before dropping to the ground, a smirk now on display, eddie lazily spun his way around steve. “ you'll know in due time, chosen one. ”
and, although steve didn't get this nerd's take on speaking weirdly all the time, he still loved it and was glad he was there to witness it. but all because eddie began speaking that way, didn't mean he forgot about what the man said; what other secrets did he have, exactly?
“ what other bands have you listened to? ” eddie's voice caught steve's attention, and the questioned itself beckoned him to trail over to the curious metalist, who was digging through his different tapes.. but, still - that same question continued to play in his head.
.
.
.
I got kind of tired a quarter of the way through, so... sorry that it's half assed. I hope it's not too bad, though.
#stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things season 4#stranger things s4#st#st s4#st4#eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson stranger things#steve stranger things#eddie x steve#steddie#steveddie
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🦇 Will They or Won't They Book Review 🦇
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
❝ She suddenly understood, with a nauseating surge of regret, what a precious thing she'd been so careless with all those years ago, too blinded by distrust and self-loathing to see it standing right in front of her, if she'd only been brave enough to reach for it. ❞
❓ #QOTD Who is your celebrity crush? ❓
❝ The point was that he loved her now...The kind of love that cast a warm glow back through time, all the way to their first meeting, reframing the past through the lens of the present. Powerful enough to illuminate the protective shell she'd thought surrounded her heart, revealing that it wasn't a shell at all, but a cocoon. Her heart hadn't been calcifying, it had been biding its time, breaking down and rearranging at the molecular level until it was finally safe to burst free and reveal itself, trembling and brilliant and brand new. ❞
💜 From the first chapter, Ava Wilder does an outstanding job at creating the type of sizzling tension and undeniable chemistry of a book you would expect with this title; the type of chemistry that will keep you reading page after page, starved for more. The true feat here is Wilder's tendency to take, restructure, and defy rom-com tropes that easily would have made this story predictable. There's insta-love, but not in the boring, obvious, or nauseating sense we're accustomed to. Focused on the present, the story is an enemies-to-lovers second-chance romance, but when you rewind to the true beginning, it's far more complex than that. There's even a third act break up (which, at the first indication of it, made me put the book down for a second), but NOT; a twist that's so beautifully compromised that I'm shocked I didn't see it. Lilah and Shane have layers upon layers of characterization, making them real and painful and raw in ways that make empathizing with their decisions easy (once you see the whole picture). Lilah's social anxiety gives the story a mental health focus that seems natural amidst the behind-the-scenes chaos of the film industry (and my gf works in film, so I hear about it plenty). Meanwhile, Shane's people-pleaser demeanor is a guise for his insecurities. While they've both earned their fame, we see the double standard between men and women, too. Wilder touches on so many real-world concepts without blatantly telling, instead showing through Lilah and Shane's shared (and separate) experiences. The character growth between them is stunning, but better yet, Wilder leaves them in a place that demonstrates they'll KEEP on growing—whether together or apart.
🦇 Though I have a long list of pet peeve tropes, a miscommunication-powered plot is one of the biggest. The entire story relies on Lilah and Shane failing to express how they're feeling, or saying the wrong things out of anger, or making assumptions because of their failure to communicate. However, I deeply appreciate the solution to put them into couple's counseling, to force them to recognize what they're feeling, and how to communicate it. They progress from therapy to saying the smallest things unprompted outside of therapy—you see their growth and willingness to try as time goes on. However, anyone who's watched Ted Lasso knows good stories don't need to rely on miscommunication; there's real talent in writing adult characters who are beyond that.
🦇 Recommended to fans of sweet, blistering tension, the harsh but tantalizing bite only enemies to lovers can provide, and second-chance romances you can't help but root for.
✨ Vibes ✨
💔 Lovers to Enemies to Lovers
🎥 Dual POV & Timeline
🎬 Mental Health Focus
🎥 Immediate, Constant Chemistry
💔 Second-Chance Romance
🦇 Major thanks to the author Ava Wilder and publisher Random House for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
#book review#book lover#book blog#book aesthetic#book photography#books and coffee#coffee and books#battyaboutbooks#batty about books#book: will they or won't they#author: ava wilder
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The Long Weekend | Gilly Macmillan | Published 2022 | *SPOILERS*
Three couples. Two bodies. One secret.
Dark Fell Barn is a perfectly isolated retreat, or so says its website when Jayne books a reservation for her friends. A quiet place, far removed from the rest of the world, is exactly what they need.
The women arrive for a girls’ night ahead of their husbands. There’s ex-Army Jayne, hardened and serious, but also damaged. Ruth, the driven doctor and new mother who is battling demons of her own. Young Emily, just wed and insecure, the newest addition of this tight-knit band. Missing this year is Edie, who was the glue holding them together until her husband died suddenly.
But what they hoped would be a relaxing break soon turns to horror. Upon arrival at Dark Fell Barn, the women find a devastating note claiming one of their husbands will be murdered. There are no phones, no cell service to check on their men. Friendships fracture as the situation spins wildly out of control. Betrayal can come in many forms.
This group has kept each other’s secrets for far too long.
Jayne, Ruth and Emily are three women who are all the wives of a group of best friends. Together, they are traveling to a barn, known as Dark Fell, located in the country, off the grid and away from their normal everyday lives for their annual getaway. Done every year with the couples, they are shockingly short of a few of their normal members: Mark, Paul and Toby, their husbands, are going to meet them there the following day after being called away for various reasons at the last minute. Edie, a normal member of their group, is also gone as she had lost her husband a few months before, and instead is going away on her own for the weekend.
When the owners of the barn and land are met with a courier asked to deliver a package for the guests, Maggie is shocked when her husband has such a strange reaction to what has occurred. John, who grew up on the land himself, is suffering from dementia, which is quickly taking his senses away from him, and making him act erratically. Despite his convictions on the package that was delivered, they get the barn ready for their expected guests.
The women arrive, and Emily feels out of sorts. She’s the newest of the group as well as the youngest at 23 years old, a whole 10 years younger than the other two women. Ruth is a doctor, and new mother, and is finding it hard to cope with everything in her life. Jayne is ex-military, as is her husband Mark. She suffers from PTSD and often disassociates when things are going wrong or when she sees blood, a direct correlation to what she experienced during her time in the military.
The trip doesn’t start off great, as upon their arrival to the barn, they find the package left for them, and inside is a letter presumably from Edie, stating that by the time they have arrived at the barn, one of their husbands will be dead by her hand. Emily, rightfully, panics and wants to leave back down to the farmhouse to contact her husband Paul. Ruth and Jayne understand Edie better, and believe that the letter is a hoax. They try to get signals on their cellphones, but are not successful. They try to think of others things, but instead, Ruth only gets drunk as she has a problem with drinking and alcohol. During a raging thunderstorm, Emily tries to run away from the barn to the farmhouse to try to contact her husband, but instead runs into John, who was watching the barn from afar. Due to his mental disabilities, he becomes lost and confused, but helps Emily where she is taken care of by Maggie until the following morning. Maggie and John’s son, William, arrives. He’s a police constable, and at Emily’s urging, has arrived to discuss the letter.
John, Maggie and Emily with William return to the barn to collect the letter, as well as get Jayne and Ruth together to head back home. However, Jayne is asleep in Ruth’s room, where she fell asleep the night before alongside Ruth, but Ruth is missing. They begin searching for her while Emily, who was injured in her trek the night before, stays within the barn. She hears arguing between Maggie and John, and moments later, a gun goes off. John has ended his life by suicide, as he believes he may have been responsible for what happened to the women in the barn. The girls along with William go back to the farmhouse to await the colleagues of William, and a towncar arrives, but with only Toby, Ruth’s husband, arriving.
They begin their trek home, Emily in the towncar purchased by her husband, and Toby, Jayne and Ruth in Jayne’s vehicle they used to drive up the day before. Anxious to find out the fate of her own husband, Jayne drops Toby and Ruth off at home, and hurries to her own home, but finds it empty.
All while this is going on, we have another perspective. An anonymous perspective. At first, we are meant to think that it is Edie. This person is attempting to hide a body inside of a person they murdered, but after Imogen, Edie’s daughter calls from a music camp requesting to be picked up due to the thoughts of self-harm, their plan is derailed. When they return home, Imogen invites her friend over and attempts to leave, when we find that the person in this perspective is not Edie, but another person, presumably female. However, we quickly learn that this perspective is a male.
This person is deluded to believe that Imogen is their daughter, which we, as the reader, begin to believe as well. Edie, Mark, Toby, Paul and Rob were all friends in school. Edie and Rob married, and together had Imogen. However, this unknown person believes they know/heard Rob claim that they were unable to have children, and in a fit of passion, slept with Edie, only to realize that Edie used them to get pregnant to have a child. After drugging Imogen after her friend Jemma is asked to leave, this person swabs Imogen’s cheek and is sent off to have a paternity test done, which would take 24 hours to get the results back.
In the meantime, this person attempts to take care of Imogen while Edie is “away” but it is clear that Edie has been murdered and stuffed inside of the storage locker within a freezer. When the third person leaves, Imogen is left alone, and in thinking that Edie will be returning that evening, awaits for her mother’s return. However, Toby arrives at Imogen’s house hoping to speak with Edie. Ruth and Toby had a fight, and he left after Ruth accused him of grooming the young female students he teaches at university. Toby is concerned about Imogen, as she was meant to be away at camp while her mother is away, and we finally find out who the unknown perspective is: Mark, Jayne’s husband.
Jayne is blissfully unaware of Mark’s involvement in this, and when he returns home, Jayne is thankful because she thought he could be the one that Edie had murdered. He reassures her everything is fine, even going with her to Paul and Emily’s house. Emily claims that Toby, who had been there a little while earlier, attacked her. Mark, playing the role of hero, goes to Imogen’s house because he knows that’s where Toby went.
Everything begins falling apart. Ruth’s mother appears and tells her that Toby wasn’t grooming young women, but Ruth doesn’t want to believe what was going on, and after getting a text from Toby claiming that he’s at Imogen and she needs to get there quick, leaves, though she is still intoxicated. However, tragedy strikes when Ruth rams into Toby’s car when he’s trying to get away from Mark who has attacked him in his efforts to protect Imogen.
At this point, this police arrive and Imogen explains what happened. After the police run Mark’s plates, he is arrested for Edie and Paul’s murder. His plan has fallen apart: he murdered Edie and Paul, with the plan to make it seem that they had run off together so he could take in Imogen, who he believed was his daughter. While sitting in the back of the police car, he receives the email, and finds that he is not Imogen’s father, though this persons identity is never revealed.
One year later, the lives of everyone are revealed: Jayne is dealing with the aftermath of Mark’s decisions and choices. He never went to trial, as he confessed to everything and is incarcerated within a psychiatric hospital due to multiple personality disorder, which Jayne mistook for PTSD like she has. She lost touch with everyone, and doesn’t make any efforts to keep in contact, nor do they try to contact her. She still visits Mark, though she decides she isn’t going to do that anymore either so she is able to move on.
After the accident, Ruth gets sober for her son, but we do not learn what happened to her marriage with Toby or if they ever got passed what happened. Imogen is living with her friend Jemma and her family, and is getting ready to head to school to study music. Emily sold her and Paul’s house and moved, even inviting Jemma to come and stay with her if she wanted too.
This book was incredibly confusing to me at first. There were no chapters, only page breaks indicating a new perspective was taking over. It was very jumpy, and often confusing. It is broken up into three parts: Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but the Sunday taking place one year after the events occurred.
Because of this, the first little bit of the book is difficult to read because everything jumps around quickly. You aren’t sure who the one perspective is until a little while into the book, which was interesting but for me, I need the chapters to indicate something new is occurring.
While the book was a bit confusing, it was an easy read after they leave the barn and the events really start unfolding. The twists and turns were exciting, and the book was entertaining. But, due to the mass confusion in the beginning, I left it a 3/5 on GoodReads.
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You have now sparked a very vivid curiosity in me in relation to Dieters family dynamics, something tells me it’s MESSY cuz that man (ie: that ANT) hasn’t experienced, what one would call, a “good day” in years (if ever) and it seems as though his bullshit runs DEEP
HAHAHA hoooooo boy man do you got a lot to look forward to in Der klaren Sterne, then. To give a short answer: you are correct, Dieter has not been happy or had a "good" day in a long long time. This does tie directly to his family dynamic but also to another friendship/relationship that was important to him in his teenage years (that i'll go into. That Hans is Very Interested to know more about. :) :) :) )
Spoilers I guess, that I'm willing to give. Yay I get to talk about my OC's!
It's mentioned in i picture my own grave but I have Dieter having lost his father during WW1 - he would've been relatively young, around 7. So he's old enough to remember his father but Johanna (who is 5 1/2 years younger) does not; she only knows their stepfather, Ulrich, as a father figure in her life. Thing is... Dieter knows that his mom and stepdad were carrying on their affair while his father was still alive, and off in the war. They don't know that he knows (because why would he? He was just a kid, would he have really been that perceptive? And lmfao yup), but this all comes to light during DKS one night over dinner (when Hans is there lol).
So suffice to say, Dieter has very little regard for his stepdad (there's the frog incident too... lol maybe I'll share about that some other time) and especially his mom who he sees as a disloyal whore. This factors into him being very opinionated about Johanna's relationship with her husband, Kurt - and also about what he soon learns concerning a woman Kurt considers a friend.
And there's, of course, Dieter's insecurity with... he views his family as not living up to the "standards" in place with what's expected in Nazi Germany, but then he has to grapple with the idea that perhaps he's the most traitorous of all of them. (Oh but he's making up for it! He is!)
(Also, in Nazi Germany, infidelity was not necessarily frowned upon, at least in re: to the men. They could have as many side pieces and children as they wanted, it was all for the Fuehrer's vision, of course. Women were expected to be obedient and loyal. But I think with Dieter, because he knows how difficult it would be for him to ever be in a heterosexual relationship combined with what he view as his father being betrayed, he projects what he wishes he could have into the expectations he sets for Johanna and Kurt. So he's much more stringent in his view/opinion of fidelity.)
(I love writing this all out and being like: How will Hans dissect him and manipulate him in every possible way he can imagine??)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE i love getting to talk about this so much. He's so miserable it's great lmfao.
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