Hello! I’m organizing this. Thomas was my stepdad. If you would like to contribute to the fundraiser to help my family—in particular my mom—please gooo right ahead. I realize this is weird since few of you know me personally. But I do love my Tumblr people and you all deserve to know about this! Thanks in advance for reading (it is a long GoFundMe description). 💚

Help us raise money for Shubhra’s family by donating to our fundraiser. He was a great human being, leader, and loving father and husband who we lost to an unfortunate cardiac arrest. Let’s make sure his family doesn’t suffer in this challenging time. https://www.gofundme.com/f/shubhra-kar-memorial-fund

Separatist-apologist lore beneath the cut

I dropped out of college when I was 19 and when I decided to go back, I had two kids. I was undeclared and I felt old despite still being in my 20s. I had a scholarship which required me to do daytime classes with all of the brand new 18 year olds and I felt wildly out of place. Before that, I'd been staying at home raising my kids while their dad worked and a lot of people thought wanting to return to the workforce was a mistake, so there was this immense pressure to succeed where I'd once failed.

The problem was not knowing what I wanted to do. All I really cared about was history and domestic violence and as far as I knew, there was no good career path that combined those things, and so I signed up for four random classes that had nothing to do with each other. One of them was called Serial Killers in America which was taught by a former police officer. Another was introduction to psychology, taught by a social worker.

I was sitting in the Serial Killer class one morning, way in the back where no one paid me any attention, when the professor (former cop, remember) began telling a story about being called to a house for domestic violence and I remember looking up at her as she said that too often, these things are a "he said, she said," and they're usually both lying.

And it just ignited something angry in my stomach. I was looking for an advisor since I'd been undeclared and I turned that day to the psych professor and asked if she'd fill out my form to be my advisor. As she was, I told her what the other professor said and how much it bothered me and she asked me what I wanted to do. So I told her, and she asked if I'd ever considered social work.

So began six years of perfectionism and the single-minded goal of getting my masters degree and working in the field as a licensed social worker. I remember my first day in orientation at grad school, someone asked if anyone knew where they wanted to be in 5 years. I was the only person who raised their hand. I knew where I wanted to be.

And for the last three years, I got to live that dream. The good, the bad, the horrible- all of it was mine. And today I pack up this office I've worked in for the last three years because its all over. The work was always good and I'm proud of what I've done. I've published papers, I've sat in state-wide commissions, I've talked to legislators, I've presented at conferences and I've trained a new generation of advocates who feel the same passion I do.

It's no secret that people who work in this field are typically survivors themselves. Something about surviving it turns people into advocates, whether they meant to be or not. And often they manage to make it out of the metaphorical burning building, turn around, and decide they need to go back inside to try and get others. The amount of people I've talked to who say, "I want other people to know they're not alone and they can get through this," is numerous. It makes you optimistic, it makes it impossible to ignore the good in humanity even when you're faced with some of the worst people/circumstances you'll ever encounter.

And despite all the petty office politics, a system designed (sometimes purposefully) to make leaving difficult, and state legislators who push back every inch of progress we ever made, I will miss it. The work was always good. I'm proud of the things I did individually for folks, of the amount of times I got to tell someone they did nothing wrong, that they deserved safety and respect.

These three years have been the best and worst of my life, but the work was always good. I will always be in it, will always be standing beside the ghost of my childhood self, offering her a hand and a voice and I think if I accomplished nothing else, at least I did that.

This just dropped and it looks so good. I hope this gets made because I'm already so 🥰🥰

rest well king

hell beat god in pvp with a steering wheel

There are only 12 spots available, so I was not able to include the hidden track, 'Look at Your Game, Girl'.

@greeneyezblackheart @elscaptive @valupuyhol @jakelinestradlin

“Welcome to Hawaii, Sir!”, March 1961 🌸 🍍 🎸

I don’t know how to even process this yet. 2:19 AM on September 20th, I got the news that my best friend of eight years had passed away. They had been fighting cancer for a while now. Now they’re gone. We thought we had a few more weeks at least. I was only three hours away from seeing them for the first time.

Their family is reaching out for funds, for a memorial service. If anyone has even just a couple dollars they can spare, it would be so appreciated.

The GoFundMe has since been closed, but I’m leaving this post up for the duration of my hiatus.

Thank you,

— Rubin

https://www.gofundme.com/f/lay-lucigrace-to-rest?member=29573525&sharetype=teams&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

so it turns out it was actually never that serious

Adolph Coors Co, 1988

This is an Angel Marcloid appreciation post!!

She masters virtually all of our releases, including the current versions of all Lemon Demon albums and the upcoming vinyl reissue of Good & Evil! She mixed the new version of the Scary Jokes' April Fools, and is currently mixing a new Trust Fund Ozu album along with producing a new Scary Jokes project!

Her Mindspring Memories album Om was the first vaporwave project we put out, and ever since we have been close collaborators! We've reissued her musique concrete tape Rectangular Prism of Shitty Eyes, her 3LP opus The Binary Ocean, her Nonlocal Forecast single "Conscious Agents" and even have a new Mindspring album on the way!

But of course, she is best known for her incredible work as Fire-Toolz! Go listen to her latest full-length, Eternal Home! It's incredible!

We love you Angel! Never stop being an audio sorceress!!

TW - Euthanasia

hello friends!

a few days ago, my family and I made one the most toughest decisions in our lives.

we had decided to put our beloved bulldog of 14 years, Snarf, down.

These past few months up to a year, Snarf had several health complications that just kept stacking and my family and I couldn't keep up. So, in order to ease his pain, we made the decision to send him on his way.

It's nothing like losing a human family member, but it hurts just as much because he was family. Snarf the bulldog was my first fur baby that I raised and he has seen me through real tough times in my life. He taught me so much and grew with me, and I've learned a lot from him, even if he was a grumpy old man.

If anyone is willing to help a grieving family of a beloved pet, please donate and share. Any amount is so so appreciated!

When you started drawing? And how? Your works are so detailed and you feel the perspective so Q_Q Your drawing of old hunter from DLC is incredibly cool, I am looking respectfully

Oh- You mean this ( x ) one? Haha, yeah, it was an art commission, so I tried to give it the best I could... Though maybe using something I was paid for as a chance to practice perspective was a little irresponcible :') But the customer was happy, and this is what matters!

To be honest, I've been drawing for as long as I can remember...? I have quite the regrets about having basically none of my drawings from childhood survive, because it's been a LOT. But I've been going over the top with details, colors and settings since the age of like, 4-5 I think? I recall the caretakers at kindergarden REALLY loving my drawing of underwater, because I killed it with variety of fish and seaweed, despite having no references or knowledge! Also, fun fact - the very first art criticism of my life from me was towards a girl that colored every woman in her coloring book as blonde with blue eyes! I criticized her saying that there were other colors for people and that it was boring to be so samey dsfjjdshfsd Had to apologize, but.. yeah, it was the ultimate "I've always been this way" moment if I've seen one. :')

I used to visit classes to practice my drawing in elementary school, though! But it was mostly environment and animals, when I was more interested in drawing people at that time! The period from 8 to 12 years was the one where I kept creating OCs obsessively, and stories for them, and I've had like 6 comics I've been drawing and coloring at the same time (mostly comedy + fantasy)! I think what really inspired me to start creating the comics and characters that were mostly young girls with elemental powers was the Russian comic, Rainbow Knights x) (Журнал "Юла", припоминаешь? хд) I was obsessed with it, and I was obsessed with excuse to use more colors, effects and nature/elemental aesthetic. And yes, it was all trdaitional! I love using crayons, markers, pens and pencils for coloring. My clumsy hands were never good for paintbrushes... I moved more onto digital around the age of 14. It was when I've found a summer job, and earned enough money to buy a tablet! So.. I started prioritize digital art since then! But it had the form of me first drawing something on the paper, and then scanning and fixing/lining/coloring it on the computer for a LONG time! Well, it was taking some time to get used to, as well, so I also had some drawings I did with my mouse and vector tool in PS or SAI, like this:

It is one of the only few remaining "ancient" ones, since most of them got lost forever on the old hard drive! ...I still HAVE this hard drive, I just have no idea how to extract anything from it.. It is kinda broken :U But if I get my hands on very old doodles trapped there, I will share!

^ I believe this was the first doodle that I did 100% on the computer AND with the tablet! Without mouse, without first drawing traditonally and then digitally, but just on the computer, from start to finish! But it was still hard to do, so I kept with the use of paper and pencil for some more while. Like- I hoped I'd find some old drawings for this ask, but all I found were traditional versions of some of my drawings!

You could tell that using traditional paper + pencil were beneficial for anatomy and proportions. And that I used to be better at that, VERY much better. And that it was sorta... easier to 'get lost' in the process? It was a simpler life when not only I was far less depressed and broken, not only I had more spare time in schoo/uni years, but also just... I did not feel burnt out. Or guilty over the fact of not finishing new drawing "fast enough" (and thus, looking like a loser). I also had less things online to drain my spare time, less distractions... I kinda miss that time, really...

All in all, I've never learned to draw PROPERLY. I was self-taught but not studying too hard, mostly I was just analysing art of artists I loved to improve my own, and asking advice from good artists to fix this or that! Hence, my skill used to be better! Year 2015-16 was my most productive year artistically! I've been drawing a bunch of (then) popular cartoon stuff, as well as TONS of fanart for Rick and Morty RP community, and all the things were sooooo bright, colorful and full of energy...

And now meet the man that sorta ended my art career :^) I've picked interest in Mark (Endlish localisation called him Marx and I hate it lol), and that pulled me into the rest of K1rby. Except I could not actually play anything (besides 64 Crystal Shards that I emulated), so I compensated with letsplays and anime. And Super Paper Mario was a side obsession. xD But.... yeah, since MARK, dark ages for my art started. No, no, my art was good! Awesome, even! I kept people begging me to "please draw K1rby again" for years since fandom shifting! Words like, 'no one ever cared about this universe and characters the same way you do'... But! Drawing 'creatures' for 2-3 years completely destroyed my prior (already loose) knowledge of human anatomy and proportions, and I am still struggling to recover that former skill! :')

Finally, year later, around February/March 2021, I've gotten pulled into Bloodb0rne! Badly. And thanks to Mic0lash. Huh, it is always some madman, isn't it? xD But I felt very self-consious about my art... I felt like serious, detailed, dark and beautiful atmosphere of BB deserved better than my "overly cutesy" and "tone-deaf" art.... annnnd if this sounds like something I'd never say, but rather as an unfair criticism from some antsy reddit-ish asshole? It is because it is EXACTLY what it was! :')

But in either case, the Doll was the first time I've used paper and pencil again in many years. I felt so... alive? I recall the feeling I could only describe as 'blood returned in my veins' but spiritual, you know? It felt like so much fun! To remember how to draw traditonally, to break out of my 'round cutesy' comfort zone- heck, I even downloaded brushes for my SAI for the first time in my life, just to color the characters better! Learned new coloring style, too: usually my coloring was very rigid and relying on very concrete colors for shadow and base.. but from this point on, I prioritized more 'chaotic' approach, as I felt it was more appropriate!

....and so, now we are here. x)

You could tell that some of the things I am just used to persisted, and that colorful, "childish" energy is still slipping through the cracks. Soulsb0rne games are ideal for how my mind works... but perhaps not for how my soul works. There is just something in me that craves that sillyness, overly colorful designs and settings, and maybe ER is closer to that aesthetic? Yeah, had I not been criticized on my art harshly upon joining BB, maybe my art would've been way more cute and 'free'! I always loved drawing many details, but something about the route I've taken about drawing made it very heavy. My brain short-circuits at the AMOUNT of the details I keep in mind, yet I can't rest unless I got it "at least 90% correct", even when it is a darn shitpost ;-; I will figure out what went wrong compared with the way I used to draw humans..... someday.

Thank you for asking, though! Ha! Honorable mention: tons of shitposty comics and doodles I kept drawing in classes, both school and uni! x)

If you could relive any memory of your past, what would it be?

HRM interesting question, I'm not really sure. My family used to travel when I was younger (and when the university my dad taught at was better funded 😅) so I'd probably say one of those memories! It also depends on how long of the memory I'd get to relive, and if I could only relive the specific bit that I remember. Because I went to Australia as basically a baby and have about half a memory of that, so if I could relive that but MORE of it, I'd like to. But if it was limited to stuff I have a clear memory of, it would be visiting a castle in Italy and then having gelato afterwards. Or having cioccolata calda on a rainy day with my dad's colleague! Or visiting that same colleague's house and having a homemade dinner with her family! When I think back on it that was one of the coolest "vacations" I went on in my life but I was only 9-10ish, so I didn't fully appreciate all of it.

Ty for the question 🫡 sorry if I rambled a bit, it was interesting to think about!

you seem like someone who would like reuben james by the kingston trio (<- compliment)

https://youtu.be/J_lPSX38zWk

THIS IS SOOO GOOD THANKS FOR TELLING ME ABOUT IT… i unironically love old folk sea shanties so much i know i’m so stereotypical. it reminds me of the mary ellen carter by stan rodgers…

woaw. there is a Void at the centre of my Me. that sucks