thinking. about the potential of havinf to stop the med that is scientifically proven to reduce the risk of suicide in people who take it because theres a chance it's causinf a Bad side ecfect. except i can't take lamictal (doesn't work to stop mania, just depression), valproate was somewhat effective but for various reasons can:t take it again, and that leaves me with tegretol... but nothing is as effective as lithium for me. this is so unfair

who up pushing their boulder

Stone faced and barely moving in the club.

wikipedia Tell me about this man's personal life

like so for serious i've had a clinical eating disorder of some kind since i was a child and grew up in a house with multiple eating disordered adults. i have weight trauma and abuse trauma both regarding food and eating. i went to residential treatment with no results, inpatient with no results. it always came back no matter what.

and yet here we are. i think it'll stay with me forever in some ways, i still think about doing Behaviors when i'm stressed. but like. i never thought i'd reach a point of "i don't remember the last time i engaged with my ED behaviors" and that's where i am. the hell

absolute whiplash talking to my dietitian and realising i can honestly say i don't remember the last time i did anything bulimia related. like. it's been a long time. i just eat now. my eating is still a bit fucky and absolutely always will be* but i've come sooooo far

math people scare me. math people will be like "math works in mysterious ways TO YOU. i get it though." and they do and it's fucking terrifying.

oh no dying for me thank you, I just wanted to be on this hill with you

reblog if you enjoy napping, being cozy, being conked out, snoozing, wrapping up in blankets, sipping a hot drink, catching some z's, hugging a plushie, or otherwise relaxing and resting

keep being Afflicted by The Morbs and i know why. i know it's because i was relentlessly trauma triggered all day yesterday. but it feels bad. my thing is that i'm funny even when there's a hole in my chest so it doesn't even come across that way and feels like i'm lying or that people think this. but there is just a bottomless pit inside me right now that won't go away

Am I really "an interesting critter"

damn kinda not feeling it... thinking of bursting into tears

they call me byecurious yhe way im always a little interested in leaving👋

can't believe that pompeii by bastille is over ten years old now. but I guess if you close your eyes it does almost feels like nothing changed at all

When someone says something manipulative or passive aggressive to you thinking you won’t catch on to their little game but you fucking do.