#meg that’s so personal of you
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Personal rant about an issues I’m having with my best friend under the cut, TW mentions of past sexual trauma both fictional and IRL
Thinking about how Alicent and Rhaenyra coded my best friend and I are, (minus the gay undertones) she’s headstrong, beautiful, confident, feels like she deserves what she wants no matter what and has no fear that her father won’t be there to catch her when she falls. But it makes her ignorant to the deeper plights of others and she lacks the knowledge to look further into things, and weigh her opinions and options before she speaks. She’s so strong and confident that she refuses to accept that her thoughts and opinions can be wrong, and she never does any research.
She was like “I’ve heard Andrew Tate talk some and I think he might be right” and I was like friend???? The man is a sex trafficker who has been quoted saying that women who aren’t virgins are damaged goods, and his OWN SISTER doesn’t talk to him. And she was like “oh I didn’t really look him up or anything” like motherfucker are you serious????
Then you’ve got me, quieter, more traditional, (still beautiful, but my goodness my best friend is a different level) always trying to do what’s right, do what I was supposed to do, trying to make sure everyone is okay, that my words and actions won’t harm and if they do can I take them back or make up for them?
I’m more agreeable, people see me as soft and kind, easy to talk to, but it comes with this guilt, religious, personal, social, whatever I’m always, always watching, always considering the other side because I know what it feels like to be powerless. And I do my fucking research because you have to know the rules!!!!
We’ve argued over TG or TB and she just refuses to accept that Alicent’s actions are motivated by valid reasons, that she was a child victim and was a victim until her husband finally died. She also blows past the fact that Daemon groomed and assaulted Rhaenyra because “they’re so hot” and I just???? I could not and cannot understand how she can overlook the pain and trauma these characters went through and act like it’s absolutely nothing.
Then we got in a bit of a thing because she got into booktok smut and I tried to warn her about the trigger stuff in some of the books and she’s like “oh it’s fine, yeah he like rapes her in this one part, but he basically makes it up with his words in the end” and I’m ????
Like yeah I like my dark stuff too but not a love interest who’s a rapist💀 there is no coming back from that for me????
And the fact that she just doesn’t care, doesn’t even stop to think about how her lack of care for the atrocities committed towards female characters in literally any media affects her is just so concerning to me. It’s like because nothing like that has happened to her then it’s not real??? Or it’s just like “not that big of a deal”????
Like y’all who read Pink Pastels know I went through shit, not a full assault but something similar that I left out of the fic because it was too much and I hadn’t really accepted what had happened. And the fact that what is it one in five women have been assaulted??? Statistically speaking she knows women who have been!!!!
So it makes me sick to my stomach that she’s so blasé about this stuff. To be fair to her, I never told her about it but I have now and I haven’t gotten a response yet so I’ll hold judgment until I do. (She hasn’t seen the Snapchat yet)
I just it really frustrates me because she is such a good friend outside of this stuff but she just lives such a different life from everyone else (her family is super rich) and I feel bad because I really want reality to knock some sense into her with a baseball bat. She just doesn’t understand that people actually suffer this stuff it’s not all just fun in games and ha ha giggles oh he’s so hot!!!
Like bestie I’m here, standing in front of you, asking if you fucked Daemon in a pleasure house (if you really are going to keep reading and flaunting your love of these dark, violent, terribly written books) while I’m trapped with your old ass father who’s been assaulting me and ignoring the children he forced me to have (carrying and trying to sort out the multitude of trauma from my ex) begging you to tell me that you didn’t and you still see me as your friend (that you aren’t a horrible pick me girl who doesn’t actually care about the pain and suffering women go through just because you haven’t experienced it)
#meg talks#I’m just having a hard time tonight y’all#she’s really a good person but sometimes I’m like ???? you are so fucked up#like your apathy is vile#meg that’s so personal of you
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it's very interesting to me that a large subsection of swifties are more fixated on proving joe (repeatedly) calling for ceasefire is somehow linked to him trying to put taylor down instead of like..........actually being against genocide??? is that more believable than the fact that a person could simply not stand the horrors millions of people are facing right now?????
#meg talks#Like I'm sorry but to tweet about Joe's performative activism when the person you're defending is....😐 NVM#also sooooo many people being like - it's just a pin! THAT'S STILL MORE THAN NOTHING.#also swifties love to say this so - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING BEHIND THE SCENES#just leave him alone the jobless jokes are not funny idk
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#Transformers#Maccadam#*whispers* “I am cringe but I am free”#*Holds Megs and Screamer* They make each other miserable and they both deserve to be miserable so it works#It’s the “refuse to get divorced because that might make the other person slightly happier” energy#I want to put them in a bucket like a pair of them fighting beetles#Also for people who haven’t seen the show it is IMPERATIVE to me you know that the second screenshot#Is from the end of an episode where Starscream conquered and was subsequently ousted#From Actual Fucking Camelot#Because I must stress. The show is a fever dream#(And I think might be my favourite of ones I’ve seen <3 )#Oplita#Megastar#Apologise for putting this in the ship tags
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Friends! I'm going to be an artist/vendor in a local queer book fair in a month, and I figure if there's anywhere on the Internet that has queer book lovers, it's here. I've got some fun bookmarks in progress and some stickers, but idk what to prioritize.
So I ask you this,
#personal#meg rambles#meg also tries to do art!#anyway please tell me your ideas i feel so stressed with less than a month to prep#poll#booklr#queer artist#also if you pick fandom/book pls tell me which ones!
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Today is a good day, surprisingly. Usually, snow means nightmares and not eating enough, and worrying Joel into an early grave. But not today, today is a good day. Because today, Joel is off rotation, and school is canceled because the snow drifted and they can't get the doors open. That means spending the whole day with Joel, just the two of them.
Which lead them to where they are now. Be a shame to waste it, Joel tells her, helping her pull her hat onto her head. They march outside, bundled up against the nip in the air. Ellie starts the snowball fight, purely because she can. Nails him directly in the face too, she's pretty proud of it. She silently thanks Tommy, for showing her how to make one.
She takes cover behind the shed in the backyard, when she sees Joel making a snowball, no doubt to retaliate. Joel takes cover behind the big cottonwood. They spend who knows how long hucking snowballs at each other and laughing harder than Ellie thinks they ever have. Turns out Ellie has excellent aim when it comes to throwing snowballs. Joel, they discover, does not. A fact that Ellie spends a good ten minutes cackling about, bent over at the waist and face red.
Joel takes the opportunity to shove a handful of snow down the back of her shirt, and she will deny the shriek she lets out until the day she dies.
She tackles him, and he lets her. Falls to the side like she took him down when they both know she couldn't knock him over at all if he didn't allow it. She grabs handfuls of snow, pelts him with them, giggling the whole time. He retaliates, flips her to the side so she lands with a huff.
They stay like that, both laying on their sides and throwing handfuls of snow at one another. Joel laughs so hard no sound comes out and she knows he'd be clapping, if his hands weren't occupied. His seal laugh, as she calls it, is one of her favorite things in the whole world.
They stop after a while, stay on the ground panting to catch their breath and giggling together. They both roll onto their backs, snickering under their breath. She looks up at the sky, points out a cloud that looks like a butterfly. Looks like Sarah wanted to be involved, she tells him, just to see the way his eyes go soft and fond. He shifts in place, brings his arms up. Swooshes his arms and legs back and forth, eyes on the sky.
"Making a snow angel," he answers, when she asks him what the fuck he's doing.
He sighs when she tilts her head in confusion. Stands and pulls her to her feet, mumbles something about FEDRA doesn't teach shit do they under his breath. Introduces her to the fine art of making a snow angel. Shows her how by example, moves to a fresh area to start. She flops down next to his when it's done. Makes her own.
"What do you think, Kiddo?" Joel asks as he helps her dust the snow off her back, once she stands up again.
She turns to look at them. His is way better than hers is, she can admit that. But she doesn't think that hers is bad, just that Joel's is better. Which makes sense, given he's like a hundred and has been doing this for far longer than her.
It does something to her, though. Seeing them side by side like that. Makes something warm and gooey and soft spread through her chest, seeing his much larger angel next to her smaller one. Smiles when she notices that the "wings" of their angels are crossed over each other. She likes it, like they're holding hands or something. Like they're family.
"I think they're perfect," she tells him.
"So do I, Kiddo, so do I."
Ellie beams at him, and he grins back. She wants to tell him, how much this means to her. How much he means to her but isn't sure how to do it. How to get the words out. Because how could she ever put anything Joel means to her into words. Joel is her best friend, he's the best thing that ever happened to her. How can she possibly put that into words? There aren't any words big enough, to encapsulate everything Joel is to her, everything he does for her.
Settles for asking, "Cocoa?" with a lopsided smile, the one she knows is his favorite.
"Cocoa," he agrees, looping an arm over her shoulder to lead her back inside.
Her jacket is soaked through, and she’s absolutely freezing, but her heart feels warm because Joel is with her.
And, right now, that's all that matters. Joel is with her.
#this is for you Meg my love#because I know you're having a bad day#and I can't hug you in person but I can write you some winter fluff#so enjoy my sweet carrot cake with cream cheese frosting#this is also like barely edited because I'm being lazy and didn't want to lol#ellie williams#joel miller#tlou#hbo tlou#tlou drabble#hbo tlou drabble#my writing#Z writes
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You have no idea how surprised I was to see you in Alabaster tag. I guess I'm just used to see you with meta (which are always a delight to read btw)
What are your opinions about Nico/Al and Percy/Al
Do not let my meta fool you I am a rogue demigods fan first and person second. I love Alabaster. I do not interact enough with the rogue demigods/Titan Army side of the fandom for the amount of thoughts I have about them 😔
As for Alabaster ships - I have heard much about Nico/Alabaster and I think it's very fun and cute. In my Nico Ship Survey it by far swept for most popular Nico/Minor Character ship. I generally think Nico/Minor Character ships tend to be very fun and interesting, I love the minor characters, I love the rogues, and throwing Nico with another rogue and/or another chthonic demigod is always very [chef's kiss] for me.
As for Percy/Al, well. I did fully intentionally make my Alabaster design mirror my Percy design.
(My main reason for doing so was cause I thought it'd be funny for Al to hate Percy and then to learn that Percy also has a streak in his hair in the exact same spot and get SO pissed that Percy not only ruined his life but is also stealing his brand.)
But yeah I think it's very interesting! I love Percy getting to interact with demigods outside of the camps and I am always down for more rogue and/or Alabaster content. And again, nudge the chthonic demigods together, hell yes. No pun intended.
I just think Alabaster is neat. Let him do whatever he wants forever.
#pjo#riordanverse#percy jackson#nico di angelo#alabaster torrington#Anonymous#ask#my art#Percy is a chthonic demigod on technicality. part-time chthonic. maybe.#depends on version of his dad but for sake of fun rogue demigod dynamics he counts for these purposes#and thank you for the lovely compliments to my meta btw ^v^#but yes please talk to me about rogue demigods i love them so much...#i have so many thoughts and ocs and hcs about rogues#we have like NEXT TO NOTHING in canon about them! even though 2 of the known big 3 kids are technically rogues!#maybe 3 if you count Cassius being a potential one and 4 if you count Meg as a Big 3+ Kid#but yeah i am not the world's most shippy person BUT i am always here for rogue content
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having a transmasc dan moment. was rewatching reanimator and got to the end where he gives meg his shirt and he’s got like a white tank top underneath. just imagining him running heroically with the axe covered in blood WITH tits out under the tank top. ahah. think with me
#like he’ll binder up at work. but at home or with meg he’s comfy enough to just wear a button up. he’s small enough that you can’t really#tell. so herb and colleagues don’t know till he’s in that tank top. but there’s so much going on that there’s no time to focus on that#i personally really love a transfem dan but this has got me thinking#reanimator#daniel cain#dan cain#mine#of course with the long hours doctors work. a binder isn’t really sufficient. but you know he can’t afford surgery#if only there was someone who could help him out..
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what people expect when you sign up for an LIS degree: haha quirky book nerds, so fun, I remember toddler storytime at the library are you gonna read to children
what they actually get when you sign up for an LIS degree: smashing Alexa isn't enough anymore I need to learn how to run my own internet and also build a house on a totally closed circuit system.
#this isn't totally fair. you also become even MORE of a curmudgeon about attribution and misinformation than you were before!#anyway everyday I realize i am becoming even more of a nightmare of a person#as if my media degree wasn't bad enough#I did have to think today about how my courses in undergrad went like#digital privacy and surveillance > social networks as used in the arab spring > culture of money > political campaign communications#now here i am doing in depth coursework on metadata and info behavior#DISASTROUS. no one should talk to me. absolutely nightmarish.#megs vs mlis#this is mostly a joke but it is so funny to read about metadata nearly a decade after that digital surveillance/privacy course and. oof.#okay I'm going back to my readings even though the memes are more fun
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Scotty Doesn't Know
Description: You and your boyfriend broke up, luckily Carmy is there and ready to show you just how much better he'd treat you.
TW: NSFW under the cut
He knew he could treat you better, knew that your boyfriend couldn’t take care of you properly. So, when you called him saying you and him broke up? Carmy didn’t hesitate to offer his shoulder for you to cry on.
Now he's looking at you, heated half lidded eyes, one hand sneaking up to your breasts, the other sliding under the hem of your thin pajama shorts. This is what he’s been waiting for, ever since he first saw you, hanging onto your jagoff of a boyfriend, lookin’ all neglected and sad.
“We-we shouldn’t my boyfriend is right outside, he said he’s here to apologize.” You stutter, head tilted to the side as Carmy trails his lips down the skin of your neck, his knee between your thighs, your back pressed against the wall.
“You just gotta be quiet then, pretty girl.” He says, giving you a mischievous smile that he knows will make your stomach flip.
“But Carmy…” You pout, gasping when he replaces his knee with his cock and pushes past your entrance, his free hand toying with your clit. You sound so pretty for him, his cock twitches, and he bites back a groan.
“Just gotta feel you sweetheart, can’t let you go without fuckin’ you, it’ll kill me.” He says, starting out slow, his thick cock dragging against your walls. “Can’t send you out to him all needy like this, he doesn’t know how to take care of anybody, ‘specially not you.”
You shake your head pitifully. “No, he doesn’t, I never got to finish.”
He bites down on your pulse point, warm tongue soothing the sting. “Poor princess, you need me to take care of you, finally fuck you the way you deserve?”
“Yes, yes, but I—isn’t it wrong?” Your voice is so hesitant, but you melt into him, hips shifting, perfect pussy sucking him in, your nipples hardening through the soft material of your sweatshirt. “He’s coming to apologize; he wants to get back together.”
He doesn’t answer you, instead he hikes your legs up, wrapping them around his lower back and plows into you, strong arms keeping you in place, the force of his thrusts pinning you to the wall.
“No, no, this is wrong, I can’t.” You cry out as Carmy dismantles you, your head falling back against the wall as he hits that sensitive spot inside you.
You clench around him, velvet walls caressing his cock, and he groans.
“Yes, you can, he doesn’t have to know sweetheart, it’ll be our little secret.” He coos, sucking on your pulse point as he spears you on his cock. You’re so tight, so small, your pussy like a vice grip on his fingers, but on his cock? He’s slightly worried you might snap it off.
You writhe in his arms, mewling for him as he continues his rapid pace. “But, but, if you keep fucking me like this, I’ll never be satisfied by him again.”
He could cum on the spot, eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You pout, pupils wide, your puppy dog expression broken by the lewd moans that escape your lips.
“How come? He don’t fuck you good? He doesn’t know how to make you cum, even a little?” He’s being mean, he knows your ex-boyfriend is a prick, but he wants to hear you say it.
“You’re just—so much bigger, and feel so good, even your hands, it’s embarrassing, just thinking about you Carmy, about your fingers, your tongue, always gets me so wet, and I don’t know what to do, he couldn’t fix it.”
“Guess you’ll just have to keep calling me, let me fix it for you.” He smirks, circling your clit with a debauched rhythm that makes your hips buck against him, his name falling from your lips like a prayer.
You look so perfect, all wide-eyed and needy for him, hips rolling against him, lips parted, hair mussed. “I can’t—fuck, it’s too much, Carmy…feels—feels too good.”
“You can take it, come on y/n, be a good girl for me.” He yanks off your sweatshirt, exposing your breasts, and groans before ducking his head and attaching his lips to your nipples. “Good girl with your perfect, pretty tits, wanna cum on ‘em, wanna see you all sticky for me.”
“Yes, yes, please Carmy, I want it, I want it.” You babble, clinging to him for dear life, your fingers tangling in his curls.
“Can’t sweetheart, your boyfriend’s outside, can’t send you to him lookin’ like a glazed donut.” He’s being mean again, to you and himself, he really wants to send you out to your ex with his cum on your tits, maybe inside you as well.
“I don’t care, don’t wanna get back together with him anyways.” You whine, tangling your hands in his hair and kissing him. “I want you, I wanna be with you.”
He moans into the kiss, pressing you further into the wall, his thrusts wild, piercing, slamming against your sensitive spot, as he drinks you in. “I want you too, sweetheart, so fuckin’ bad, hated seeing you with him. So glad when you called me, you know I’ll always come, always come runnin’ when you call me.”
You muffle your scream in his shoulder, walls spazzing around him, milking him for all he’s worth, tugging at his hair, sending pleasure pain, shooting through him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit y/n, feel so fuckin’ good, squeezin’ me so tight, not gonna let me go, huh? Wanna keep me inside, got you addicted to my cock already?” He groans, losing all control, pistoning into you, sloppy, wild, swearing under his breath as he cums.
TL: @nyctophilic0vitnir
#meg's writing#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto x y/n#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy x reader#carmy x you#carmy x y/n#the bear fx#carmy the bear#is it bad that I wish this had happened when me and my ex broke up????#at this point I can't tell if this is a kink or not????#Meg that's so personal of you wow
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One TF fandom argument that confuses me is when people put Megatron and Starscream versus each other like, when people say that it's "unfair that Megatron gets redemption but Starscream doesn't" (in regards to IDW1) because like. One, IDW1 in phase 2 was written by like 4 different writers, so you can't try to claim that there was some unified vision where the nonexistent Singular Writer of IDW was like "no Starscream isn't allowed to have nice things."
And second, I don't think the writers would even think of it that way? It's not like the writers were like "okay we have one Get Out Of Jail Free Card and we're going to spend it on Megatron, sorry Starscream maybe in the next reboot you can get it." The divisions fans make between X character likers and Y character likers are completely made up fandom drama and sometimes I feel like people don't understand that the writers aren't privy to fandom infighting/drama and wouldn't write Megatron and Starscream in opposition to each other as if one character's gain must come at the other's expense.
And finally............. IDW1 Starscream literally does get to be portrayed as a more morally gray person, have his feelings shown and treated as human, even make some friends/have people treat him nicely? IDK what fucking comics people are reading where they think that Starscream is treated as an evil villain with no redeeming qualities at all. Maybe it's the same Starscream fans who shit on TAAO/Scott or something, that's the only way I could explain it.
#squiggposting#discourse#plus like i feel like SS just becoming happy and a good person doesn't really make sense for his character#because his thing is that he's unpredictable and mercurial and you never really know what he wants or what he'll do#making him 'a good guy' would fly in the face of the archetype he is which is a scheming manipulator out for his own ends#and i really liked idw1 SS because he's like. he's a piece of shit he's a little meow meow he's traumatized he's a tyrant#as his actions and thoughts and conscience shifts from one plot to the other he does kinda good things but then does bad things#he makes you go from 'well maybe he's not so bad' to 'WHAT THE FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT'#because with SS he's not. one. thing. like you can't predict him you can't box him into being on one 'side' or the other#he's on his own side and sometimes his own side happens to include a conscience or people who try to make SS be nicer#sometimes IDW SS pursues his own selfish aims and sometimes he has moments of weakness where he decides he'll be nice#the entire 'will he or won't he' plot of whether SS would be a dick or be nice was part of his whole appeal#also megs' redemption arc is mid anyways#if anything i feel like i could argue phase 2/3 SS is more interesting and has a better emotional arc than M#and i'm not even a SS fan + i like M way more
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writing fluff is so hard esp for a character you haven’t written for before + other characters in the fic 😭
#satoru i’m abt to get real acquainted w you in this fic#so far it just all sounds v corny and not at all like how satoru sounds so i need to rework everything#also it’s so hard to segue into another part of the fic or just another paragraph for me so i need to practice FLOW#and NOT make it choppy/clunky#and i also have to find voices for tsumiki & megumi 😭 miki’s is pretty easy she’s sweet & playfully teasing#wanna make megs adorable yet slightly grumpy bc i know he’s mature but i still want a childish vibe for him hmmmm#i’m actually… SURPRISNGLY. having a LOT of trouble w the ‘reader’ themselves#i just can’t seem to find their dynamic w each character yet… hmmmmmm#y’know what i may have to do… keep the beginning part but scrap everything else and start fresh#sighhhhhhhh.#i’m willing to do that though bc this story so far isn’t hitting the way i want it to#and i love the Premise of the fic a lot and want to do it TOTAL justice#like it’s serious business to me 😭 i don’t play around when it comes to this omfg like i HAVE FUN but i want it to be decently written too#gonna need to insert more personality to each character + their DIALOGUE TOO omg dialogue is so fucking hard & speech tags are so blegh#i actually might dream on it tonight and imagine how it would realistically play out in my head and then go back to fic writing#yeah i’ll do that it’s 9:30 pm rn basically so i’ll just dream on it 😭#personal
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good things about love never dies:
• the phantom and christine real (fanservice)
• the phantom being a mopey whiny baby (his beautiful and true essence)
• the phantom having a weird son he can project on (makes him sadder and wetter)
• meg jealousy arc (i like that trope)
• honestly …. most of the songs (i’m easy to please)
• fuckfest: the musical (i was a horny teenager when i heard this the first time) (they went ALL NITE LONG)
• devil take the hindmost specifically (homosexuality)
• this part of devil take the hindmost specifically (funny):
• coney island setting (NEW YORK FREAKIN CITY BABY)
bad things about love never dies:
• vaudeville (booooooo)
• meg having to sell her body to fund the entirety of phantasma ? (come on now)
• the fact that the phantom couldn’t do anything apparently without the girys (alw is This your multifaceted genius. come on now)
• meg being convinced the only way to achieve peace in her life is by killing a ten year old boy (come on now)
• meg isn’t a lesbian (COME ON NOW)
• raoul being an abusive alcoholic (come on now)
neutral yet nevertheless important thing about love never dies:
• “i got divorced and i’m really sad about it” dude media
#love never dies#phantom of the opera#in summary: MEG GIRY GET BEHIND ME#i don’t say i have guilty pleasures because i’m breaking the chains of purity culture but if i have one guilty pleasure it’s this#because it’s objectively So Bad and So Poorly Written. and yet …..#so many compelling elements to me personally. i can’t stay away#one thing about me is i hate trauma for traumas sake. and this has such a high concentration of it. god it’s so bad#i think this sums up my thoughts. hope to never post about this again but you never know
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i want to hear the sports anime manifesto
Okay short version:
My life was a sports anime for a bit, and watching sports anime makes me nostalgic for those days.
Medium version:
The typical shonen sports anime deals with themes of camaraderie, ambition, and the intersections of camaraderie and ambition, which ALWAYS hits me right in the chest.
I'm not an ambitious person by nature, but--you know that one poem floating around on here, the one about the moth that wants nothing more than to fly into the flame, and how it would be nice to feel that kind of all consuming passion? Yeah, that's the feeling I get from sports anime.
And often, for the Team Sports anime, you'll get characters who have nothing in common except that they Love the Same Thing--a friendship/rivalry/(romance) formed on the basis of a shared interest. That's sweet as hell!
And they're super predictable and low stress for me. Very easy to watch! Total popcorn shows. Also I like listening to people infodump about their passions. Someone loved their Sport so much they wrote a whole-ass story about it, so yeah, eat that shit up.
Long version:
The Socioeconomic Inequalities of High School Sports
In high school, I was on a crappy underfunded soccer team (with a healthy dose of sexism) and due to [sports league division reasons] the schools we played against were almost exclusively private schools.
I cannot describe how existential it is to be wearing a hand-me-down formerly white-turned-disgusting-gray uniform that's at least five years old when playing against a team that gets brand new windbreakers every season.
(If you've read AAB, YES this is where my obsession with the windbreakers comes from.)
(Hilariously, the guys team got windbreakers but we didn't.)
(I am not over the fucking windbreakers.)
But anyway, when you're constantly losing to private schools you get this fucking complex about it.
This should come as no surprise but like. People with the time and resources to practice their Thing get good at their Thing.
Playing pick up soccer at the park is practice. Playing rec league soccer is organized, repeated practice.
Playing competitive club soccer is all of that, plus a coach who knows How To Coach and What The Sport Is, plus you get morale-boosting uniforms and the chance to play with and against other skilled players. So you're exposed to a lot more, and thus, you learn a lot more.
Competitive club soccer is also Expensive. Rich kids get good.
There's a reason why the "Powerhouse School" is a thing in sports anime, because it's a thing in real life. People with leisure time and money get to invest in their sports development, and everyone else gets left behind in the dust. It's basically a microcosm of capitalism.
The underdog sports story is (quite tragically) bootstraps propaganda. All you have to do is be really good and work really hard and have A LOT OF PASSION to get good at your sport! The cream rises to the top! This is a meritocracy! Let's ignore all the other factors that go into an individual's development as an athlete!
(My brother got scouted for club soccer as a kid. He actually went to tryouts and got offered a spot and a scholarship and everything, but there's SO many hidden fees after the initial registration. Uniforms, equipment, travel and accommodation, tournaments, plus like, the time sink, so we never signed him up. And equipment-wise, soccer is one of the cheapest sports you can play--just imagine the price for something like baseball or hockey.)
In sports anime, there is no reform. There is no revolution.
But sports anime isn't really about that. It's about the narratives we create when we convince ourselves that we deserve to win.
(You know what I mean. Every billionaire is convinced they're some sort of heroic underdog. The same exact kind of 'working your way up' narrative.)
Sports anime is like, the uncomplicated power fantasy of playing the game. It's a world where you are rewarded for your hard work, because it's narratively satisfying. It's a world where it's safe to want things, because you have the exact same chances as the private school kids.
I used to be an obnoxiously competitive child. Then I got all my competition beaten out of me by 3 straight years of constant losing in my clownagerie of a high school soccer team (affectionate). I am going to admit that experience made me a better person and I would not trade it for anything, but I also had to like, relearn how to want things. And maybe real life is not as equal opportunity as the world of sports anime, but I think it's good to want things.
Of course, the winner-loser dichotomy makes sense in sports because of the inherent nature of competition, but it doesn't make sense in stuff like society and economics because that's like, competing over the right to live. That's where the capitalism metaphor ends,
Does sports anime actually go into the socioeconomic inequalities of sports? No. Of course not. Giant Killing never got a season 2.
But it is something I think about when I write sports anime fic. Even if it's not the point, it influences my characterization. The ego of a prodigy character in a shitty sports program is different from the ego of a prodigy character in a rich kid sports program. I am obligated to my amateur attempts to capture the complexities of the high school sports environment in my fanfiction because I am fucking insane I had a specific high school sports experience and they do say to write what you know.
#MEG I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL READ TANGERINE AT SOME POINT#I have so many thoughts about sports anime which is tragic because sports anime is not that deep#it is never that deep#part of the reason why I got so sucked into Daiya is because of the powerhouse school setting#and the fact that Eijun was so obviously lost because he never had that kind of organized system before#people give Seidou a lot of shit for 'not helping Eijun' enough but genuinely it's because he has NO CLUE how to reach out#I poured so much brainpower into Eijun's backstory in my brain it's embarrassing as hell#*shaking fanfic authors by the shoulders* YEAH THE CUTTHROAT COMPETION SUCKS BUT YOU DONT FIX IT BY SENDING HIM TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL#I also am the only person who understands Miyuki Kazuya (exaggeration)#everyone gives him shit for the Nabe thing and look. yes he was wrong.#but I was once in that same exact situation and responded exactly the same way#Daiya no Ace is not about friendship#it's about Ambition#and people tend to make Eijun the sweet sentimental sunshine friendship guy#but he has JUST as much cutthroat ambition as Miyuki#that's why they work. that's why they understand each other#there's a whole essay I could write about Misawa but it's basically just chapter 18 of AAB#anyway if you want to watch a sports anime that does the Healthy Ambition and the Friendship Thing in the most wholesome way possible#watch Haikyuu. it really is the perfect sports anime.#shame the fanfic is 99% ship because the sports aspect of it is SUPER sweet#asks#jumpstrike#I'm answering jumpstrike but Tav I hope you see this too#lazuli talks#sports anime
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rip to you for the COVID hope you feel better soon! and I hope you have fun playing the Sims! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ🌻🪻🌸💜
Thank you so much that's very sweet!! I was so pissed off about it. I went FOUR YEARS without getting COVID and I was finally hit by the dodgeball like TEN DAYS before my trip. But I'm up to date on my vaccines and I felt mostly fine. Vaccines lose their efficacy after 6 months, my recent vaccine saved my ass, please check to see when your latest vaccine was.
Unfortunately I continued to be dead (Sims, writing obsessively again, preparing for my trip) and I will continue to be dead (I am going to be in Hawai'i for a week). I need to tweak some things about the chapter so I'm going to wait until I have time to do so before I post it. I try not to be on my computer a lot during my vacations, so it might take a minute.
Since I graduated college, I pretty much have a habit of feeling an insane need to flee once every three or four months, and I call up a friend who lives Wherever and take a trip to hang out with them (internet friends, 80% of the time - love you guys!). But I guess my Big Move six months ago satisfied my need for novelty, because I've only travelled once since then to visit my mother on Thanksgiving. Objectively feels weird to only take one trip in six months, so I'm happy that I'm taking two this month. Hawai'i is going to be extremely good because I have not Seen A Tree In The Wild for six months (it's either city trees or...corn......there's no fulfillment in corn....) and it's probably doing weird things to my psyche.
What the fuck do you do during a ten hour plane flight? Hopefully the Sims? What happens? Insane.
#meg? sharing personal details? it's more likely than you think [my fight is at 6:40am so i just didn't go to bed]#my asks#i haven't travelled with another person since i was like 8 so travelling is always very much 'hm i want to go insane'#and then booking a plane ticket.#to give a better idea of my bizarre psychology:#i travelled cross country to california and i stood on the pacific ocean beach and went#“hm. not far enough. hawaii next.”#maybe a good thing i didn't get into that graduate school because i probably would have faked my death and taken on a new identity#i didn't stand on the beach in rhode island and go 'hm not far enough. next stop: france' which says a lot about my derison for europe#also the fact that i don't know any french people.#if you live in france and want to hang out with me next time i go insane hit me up i guess
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I was at a cute little poetry circle recently, and I read a poem of mine inspired by my favorite poem. "Batter My Heart, Transgender’d God" by Meg Day (I'll put that poem under the cut). Someone then turned to me and asked if my "Batter My Heart" was the inspiration for it. Apparently they're the one who introduced the poem to the person who introduced me to it
Batter My Heart, Transgender’d God by Meg Day:
Batter my heart, transgender’d god, for yours
is the only ear that hears: place fear in my heart
where faith has grown my senses dull & reassures
my blood that it will never spill. Show every part
to every stranger’s anger, surprise them with my drawers
full up of maps that lead to vacancies & chart
the distance from my pride, my core. Terror, do not depart
but nest in the hollows of my loins & keep me on all fours.
My knees, bring me to them; force my head to bow again.
Replay the murders of my kin until my mind’s made new;
let Adam’s bite obstruct my breath ’til I respire men
& press his rib against my throat until my lips turn blue.
You, O duo, O twin, whose likeness is kind: unwind my confidence
& noose it round your fist so I might know you in vivid impermanence.
#idk I just thought this was silly and neat#glad to see someone else knows what runs through my head#obsessed with this poem tbh#The whole poetry circle was such a sweet and fun thing ngl#What if I just confessed my undying love#I got to see a bunch of people I haven't had a chance to be around in Months as well#One person made cupcakes themed around Wild Geese by Mary Oliver#I think I ate cupcakes that said 'wild geese head home' and 'the world offers itself'#Who is your favorite poet?#trans#transgender#Poetry#poems#poetry circle#My poem is about being queer but not specifically trans#I'm planning to submit it to a literary magazine soon so we'll see how that goes#lgbt#lgbtq#Meg Day#Batter My Heart Transgender’d God#queer#I'm poem#Great use of 3+ hours on a Sunday#I nearly cried on my way back home because I was just so overwhelmingly happy#I love you all to Fragments
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Babygirl this is why Chromedome trying to ise mnemosurgery for good is so interesting
Because
On one hand, on paper i can come up with many ways mnemosurgery can be used to benefit a patient and it's only a touch wholesome that Chromedome thinks this is a good idea
On the other hand, in practice mnemosurgery was invented not only susceptible to be abused but to keep a strict status quo. It's not only so easy to be highly destructive to the patient, but addictive to the mnemosurgeons. I find it invasive, terrifying, and it has so many implications for privacy and sense of self. Plus, as we're demonstrating now, the "good ways" mnemosurgery can be used hinge so much on the moral compass of the one(s) performing it.
The road to hell is often paved with good intentions, after all. What one mech thinks is an ethical and morally good deed is bone chilling and the highest order of horror to another.
#like look at megs who is rightfully buttfuck terrified of anything remotely like mnemosurgery#as far as he is concerned his mind is his temple and nobody has any right entering it_ and he's so right for that#like I'm biased because there are things you just don't do and it's pick through their head#maccadam#transformers#mtmte chromedome#transformers more than meets the eye#mnemosurgery scares me on such a personal level of course it has to fascinate me#lose all your senses au
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