#me as the butt of the python | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll · 1 month

Text

Tracklist:

40 Years Super Hot Body Ready for Party • Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra and Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Fart Song • Butterflies Scared My Cat When I Was Burping in Your Face on Wednesday Morning • Drunk Log out with Spooky Music Settings on My Firm Tits Pictures • Grandpa Says Fuck While Grandma Screams What Repeated Several Times • Grumpy Trumpy Python Toddler Taxi with False News and Emotions • Hugging Blood Thirsty Vampires with a Transylvanian Accent and Slapped Butts • I Farted as an Official Statement Against Global Warming, Expressing My Worries! • I’m Handsome When Wearing a Bag on My Head, Said the Horny Motherfuckers Politely • Is That Cellulite or Just Your Ugly Face? • Kindergarten Farting Fanfare Discussed with Disgusting Asian Clay Warriors Terracotta Song • Leaking Ladies Xylophone Solo Learning with Lusty Lashes Song • Lisping on Penis Peyote Creaking Mirth Radio, Let’s Lisp! Song • Lowering My Filthy Boobs to the Height of Your Curly Chest Hair with Freckles • Mom’s Cleaning Closet Looks Like a Women’s Porn Stash • My Gay Expense Combination Password Gore Seeking Battle Was Sinning • My Hangover Got Hung over by a Hung Guy from Hungary • My Horoscope Sign Is Poop and Yours Is Farts • Nearly Touching Myself with Your Girlfriend’s Hands While Doing the Dishes • Peeing a Farting Swearing Shouting and Pooping in Different Languages Made Me Famous Song • Petite Girls Liked My Fat Farts in Skinny Jeans with Justice • Pooping a Masterpiece in the Little Boys Room on National TV Broadcast • Puerto Del Penis Summer Holiday with Topless Sun Bathing and Surfing Fun • Puking Girls Are Holding Each Others Hair While Selling Butter to Pregnant Vomiting Men • Real Sharks Was a Great Accessory for My Swimming Pool Party Massacre • Relaxing Music for Penis Boys and Vagina Girls, I Have Money Cash, Yes! • Rescuing My Penis from Your Vagina at the Last Minute, Whoah! • Scary Music and Naked Ladies Cemetery Collection Flickering Through Growth • Shaking Sausages in the Men’s Room and Dangling Coconuts • Short Temper Anus Removal with Lipstick on the Collar • Shouting Poopers to Girls While a Crying Man Is Pooping Poop, How Adorable Screaming Babies Are! • Silly Talking Childish Macho Man Thanking Prayers for God’s Food Yes Hello! • Skinny Bitch, Fat Bitch, Rich Bitch, Poor Bitch, All Bitches Poop! • Smelling That Pussy in the Air at the Private Night Club Farting Room • Smudging Chocolate over the Toilet, So Everyone Would Think I Pooped • Sneaking Beans into Your Butthole While U Talk to a Handsome Stranger • Snuggling in Satan’s Satin Sheets with Shattered Dreams and No Boner Song • Solitary Fighting My Big Toe with the Desolate Strangler • Spoiling Desert by Pulling Your Finger Thirteen Times in a Row • Strolling with Morning Wood in the Woods While Mourning to This Song • Stutter and Chinese Food Destroyed My Artwork in the Toilet Bowl Coffee Shop • Sunny Morning Boner at the Beach Gym Towel Rental Song • Surprisingly Soft Boobs on the Milf Statue in the Garden of Jugs, Oh It Was Your Mom Sorry! •

Taming My Daughter’s Boyfriend with Booze and Fists of Agony • Teleporting My Cock to the Urinals Hurts When Peeing Penis Action • That Penis Is Not Mine, Stop Accusing Me of Curing Your Cancer! What • The Brothel Cup Cake Dispenser Had a Variety of Chocolate Brownies Too • The Giggling Killer Was Invited for Tea and Mustard with a Former Laughing Idiot • The Headache Fuckers with Migraine Were Chopping Fucking Painkillers • The Itchy Vampire Vagina Was a Gothic Curse from Medieval Times Song • The Lying Bitch Hermit Ducking Group Was Insisting on Bitch Slaps • The Penis Teens Shouting Squad Declared War on the Vagina Milfs Departure • The Pussy Cock Was Meowing and Cock-a-Doodle-Dooing with Glance • The Singing Orgy Group Remembered My Fancy Birthday Party, Super! • The Sock on My Penis Shook the Genuine Spokesman While Crying Song • The Syphilis Motown Singers Were Blowing Deranged Adultery at Me Song • The Toy Collector’s Mature Attitude Otter Raised Homeland Security Breach • The Triangle of Pussy and Clipping Smoothies Burping Smootch • Typical Asian Food Poured into the Purse of an European Hooker Prostitute Igloo • Under Water Farting Wiz Nick Y Minaj Naked Twerking Shower Saloon Barf Thong • Updating My Profile Picture While Pooping Macaroni with Japanese Subtitles • Using Mother´s Panther Underwear Because of Broken Shopping Bag to the Store • Washing Hamburgers with Dirty Sauce in Leather Pants While Howling • What Ugly Shit on Your Finger! Oh, It’s Your Wedding Ring? It’s Very Nice! • Whistling and Farting a Heavenly Polyphonic Song for Dying Virgins • Violin Licking Sounds by a Hard Baritone Dick Song Licker • Young Girls Selling Old Men´s Boxers in Thongs with Soulful Tutti-Frutti • Your Butthole Swallowed My Telephone, Will It Come out from the Mouth Then? • Your Mom´s Butt Massage Seems Innocent at First, Before Handing out Religious Leaflets

Spotify ♪ Youtube

#hyltta-polls #polls #artist: pooping poop poopers and shouting girls crying man #language: english #decade: 2010s #Novelty #tw gross #tw unsanitary #tw feces #ask to tag bc i feel like this needs more but dont know what

68 notes · View notes

princesssmars · 1 year

Text

wildfire

some starmora x reader nsfw headcanons

wc : 1.162

cw : nsfw content! triad poly relationship (fmf). dom!gamora, switch!peter, sub!reader. some sex position links bc i think they're fun. strap-on sex. anal. pda with butt slapping. masturbation.

an : watched gotg 3 and definitely not broken. new gamora is cool but im always gonna miss og gamora so expect more starmora stuff to come bc im bisexual and sad <3

so lets say you joined the guardians early, peter and gamora already have that spark between them and now you've arrived and thrown them for a loop.

while you and gamora are still mostly trying to deal with your romantic feelings, peter is being driven crazy by his sexual ones. he's not stupid enough to jeopardize the budding relationship he has with the both of you by sleeping around.

(not to say he didn't get tempted, there was this one chick with blue skin, big doe eyes and four arms and-)

still. he's not that stupid. but, he does have needs, so he jerks off. a lot. every time he does it he thinks about the both of you. the feel of gamora's skin when his hand brushed against it that morning, the smell of the new shampoo you pick up on the last planet. even just the memory of you two laughing at one of his shitty jokes is enough to make him finish.

not to say gamora doesn't get herself off as well. i don't think she would have that much sexual experience or at least not as much as peter does. just a brief hook-up occasionally to take the edge off. but when you complimented a new armored top she bought that complimented her arms and peter agreed with that stupidly charming yet sleazy smile of his, she couldn't help but lay in her bed that night and rub her puffy clit until she had to bite down on her hand as she came.

it wasn't long after that you all became official.

in the bedroom, gamora is a dom and peter is a switch. to her, there's something about quill commanding the team during missions and casual settings and being reduced to a man on his knees begging for you to touch him anywhere.

but don't for a second think you're off the hook. if you ever get too cocky when she's dominating peter, she won't hesitate to put you in your place. her favorite way to do it was sitting you on a cushion with a direct view of the bed, your hands bound behind your back with a vibrator stuffed inside you as you were left to whimper and beg as she rode peter into oblivion. she keeps eye contact with you while she has her hand around his threat, teasing you about how flustered you look.

gods help you when they're both in a dominating mood. it's mostly after they got roughed up after a mission or the person who hired you was more of an asshole than usual. on those days they don't hesitate to toss you around like a ragdoll and do with you as they please.

one time you were left behind to take care of the ship while they negotiated with the person who hired you, which must have gone wrong with the looks on their faces when they got back. before you know it you're pressed into an arch on your bed, gamora's hands pushing your mouth and tongue deeper inside of her pussy, as peter grabs your hips and helps you throw it back on his dick.

peter would love positions where he can make eye contact, loves the intimacy of it and loves to see the facial expressions you make. doing the counterblow or fireworks in the pilot's seat, a deck chair, or python in bed when your both craving contact. right before you both cum he'll pull away from sucking on your tits or neck to look you in your eyes, whispering "i love you"'s and "cum for me, cum all over me baby"'s as you both reach your highs.

gamora will take you in any position she can. not to say she doesn't love the intimacy occasionally as well. there have been more than a few times where she gently drags you to her room, places you on the bed, and eats you out agonizingly slow for over an hour before crawling on top of you and slotting herself over you, riding your cunt until neither of you can move from overstimulation. her faves would be 69, eagle, plain, and a full nelson if she's feeling pent up.

oh and gods help you when she gets her hands on a strap-on. she found it in a sex shop on a little excursion to a shady planet for rocket to find some rare materials for an invention. quill had seen it first, practically begging the two of you to go inside with him. while he and you were pointing at different beads and gadgets and giggling at the obscenity and absurdity, gamora is busy stalking along a back wall, looking at the different dildos and harnesses with piqued interest.

when she tells you that she booked a hotel room for the three of you for the night, you can't help but get a little giddy at the idea of another night of pleasure with the two of them without having to quiet yourself by biting or gagging. you don't expect gamora to come from the bathroom, a black harness around her hips with a long and thick dark red dildo attached to it. after she gets your consent and gets you prepped, your body is held up and squished between the two as peter thrusts into you from the front while gamora takes the back. you didn't leave the hotel room for two days.

they are very different in how much pda they like to show in public. gamora is more subtle, still wary to let others know how much you really mean to her, plus she likes to keep the romantic and sexual side of her life more private. she'll settle for soft smiles across the room, brushing her hand across yours when she walks by. if she's feeling devious she'll come up behind you while you're doing something under the guise of "helping you", when in reality she's pushing her entire body against yours and maybe throwing a small little thrust in there too. nine times out of ten it will leave you flushed beyond belief and she'll walk away satisfied.

peter is. a whore (affectionate). he is not afraid to be affectionate with you in public. hand holding, hugging, kissing, etc. you already know he's fond of slapping your ass, and will do it every opportunity he gets. if you do it back to him he will literally go like :0. definitely doesn't get a boner.

their aftercare is unparalleled. while you're coming down from your high, peter will rush to get a rag for you all to wash off the liquids and sweat, while gamora will whisper sweet gentle praises while making sure the both of you are hydrated. no matter how rough or quick the sex was. they will always end it with you cuddling in their arms as they whisper to you how much they care about you. <3

#marvel x reader #marvel #mcu #mcu x reader #guardians of the galaxy #gotg x reader #peter quill x gamora #peter quill #peter quill x reader #gamora #gamora x reader #peter x reader x gamora #starmora x reader #starmora #starmora x reader smut

306 notes · View notes

transformation4life · 10 months

Text

Thinking Straight

"Hey Faggot, bet you want these guns?" The gymbro flexed to Parker.

Parker was your average gay twink trying to get some muscle at the gym much to the dismay of the straight homophobic gymbros. Even with that in mind he still came back every single time. Even with their comments he couldn't help but keep drooling at their bodies especially with their asian heritage.

"Yes I do. Now keep belittling me please," Parker didn't hesitate to keep staring.

The gymbro snarled and grabbed Parker by the neck.

"You. Faggot. Shut up! You will be like us soon enough and understand how much faggots like you deserve to suffer." The gymbro let go of Parker as the words left Parker with a terrible feeling in his stomach.

The collective bunch of gymbros all laughed and pointed at Parker soon after and Parker's hard on quickly faded and the poor skinny guy was filled with embarrassment and left the gym to go back home. Usually Parker would be filled with lust after the gymbros insulted him, but after getting grabbed he felt... different. Either way Parker needed to be alone for a while.

Parker arrived at his apartment and opened the door and was quick to collapse onto his couch.

" *Groan* That was so weirdddddddddd. What did that guy even meannnnnn? I'm as gay as can be!" Parker didn't want to think about what happened anymore so he resorted to his usual at-home activity of watching videos of male bodybuilders to get a hard-on.

So Parker pulled out his phone and was quick to search stuff like "Bodybuilder Flexing" and "Bodybuilder Posing" and "Pec bounce" hoping it would give him the desired tent in his pants. Much to Parker's dismay though, that tent never appeared even when it usually should have. Parker felt like something was off. The words the gymbro said to him ringed in his head again.

"AUGHHHH This is infuriating!!! Y'know what I'll just go to bed now. It's getting late anyway," Parker closed the YouTube app and made his way to his bed.

An urge quickly took over Parker as he out of characteristically decide to sleep nude.

"I-It's a bit hot in here this is perfectly fine..." Parker told himself.

Parker closed his eyes thinking of strong, large, and muscular men hoping he could maybe stroke his cock before bed but he still felt nothing. Infact he felt more challenged that he wasn't like them.

"I'll show them tomorrow. No more horny," He mumbled before drifting off to sleep as his life would soon change drastically.

As the night continued Parker kept rolling around in bed as he kept twisting and turning his sleeping position as he tried to think of large men in order to calm himself down but it still wasn't working.

"You will be like us soon enough," The words suddenly entered the thoughts of Parker making him sweat. Almost sweat too much.

Parker's face began to morph as his eyes became thinner and his lips a bit plumper and more changes to give his face a more asian look. Although his eyes were closed Parker's vision started to worsen while suddenly a pair of glasses appeared on his nightstand. Parker's pale white skin was slowly becoming much more tanner and much like he's been out in the sun for a lot longer than he actually has. Memories of being a Thailand immigrant quickly surfaced into Parker's brain as they replaced the ones of being born in the United States. Still as gay as ever, Chet Wong still wanted to get big and stare at men all the while.

"เชี่ย…" (Fuck...) Chet moaned in perfect Thai as he was about to get a hard-on thinking of the same asian gymbros before something stopped it.

The next most important change become evident as Chet began to pack on TONS of muscle. As the muscles packed on so did the memories of Chet going to the gym at young age of 14. It wasn't before long that Chet had two massive suckable tits, washboard abds, pythons for biceps and thick juicy thighs not to mention the bubble butt of all time along with other ultra masculine features.

And now... the star of the show couldn't wait much longer as Chet's currently small dick erected and grew into a thick girthy 10 inch monster just waiting to fuck.... something. Boys! Girls? Chet was a bit fuzzy on his sexuality as he continued to moan as he remembered his long rod and hanging out with... those asian gymbros?! Wait... that's right those were Chet's friends. Have been for a while now. But why would those homophobic shitstains want to hang out with-

-and understand how much faggots like you deserve to suffer." Chet grabbed his rod thinking of how hot his gymbros were and how lucky a gay bodybuilder like him was lucky to be around them until his stopped in his tracks and his dick softened.

"Why am I thinking like a Fag? I'm no Fag!" Chet's homosexuality quickly became 100% heterosexuality.

Thoughts of men pecs and hairy bodies were quickly replaced with the thoughts of busty women and their curvy bodies that Chet needed to seed with his 10-incher. Chet adopted every single toxic masculinity trait in the book as he thought about all the women he fucked and all the fags that he turned down. Chet's rod quickly rose to it's full girth as he began to masturbate until releasing a sea of cum onto his bed.

"ที่รู้สึกดี….." (That felt good...) All of Chet's worries were gone as he finally drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Morning arrived as a flurry of notifications brought Chet awake. Chet groaned a bit as his morning wood was evident due to his thoughts of women last night. Chet grabbed his glasses from his nightstand and went for his phone.

"Wonder what Fag texted me last night. Let's see..."

Much to Chet's betterment it was one of his gymbro friends also from Thailand.

GB: เฮ้ Faggot พร้อมที่จะทำซ้ำแล้วหรือยัง? (Hey Faggot, ready to do reps?)

BigDick: ฮ่าๆ! แน่นอน ขอแค่ให้ฉันเตรียมไม้เรียวให้สาวๆ แล้วฉันจะไปที่นั่น (Haha! Of course just let me get my rod ready for the ladies and I'll be there.)

Chet put his phone down and got out of his bed to give a good look of himself on his closet mirror. He was feeling cocky and ready to seed.

After a self-obsessed ten minutes Chet put some clothes on, but making sure his prized schlong was big and out there. Chet then grabbed his gym bag and set out for where his bros were at.

"ไอ้เหี้ย! นั่นแหละ!" (Faggot! There you are!) One of the gymbros shouted as Chet approached

"ฮาฮาฮามาก. ฉันไม่ใช่ตุ๊ด แม้กระทั่งยกออกเมื่อคืนนี้กับผู้หญิงบางคน" (Haha very funny. I am no faggot. Even jacked off last night to some ladies.) Chet smirked.

"และนั่นคือเชตที่เรารู้จัก!" (And that's the Chet we know!) The gymbros all cheered.

"มาปั๊มกันเถอะ!" (Let's get our pump on!) Chet cheered back.

The thai gymbros worked out for hours as they built their muscles to show off to the ladies. A couple ladies at the gym even noticed the group making some comments about them. This caught the attention of Chet as he was ready to get some pussy tonight. While the other gymbros were distracted with their workouts Chet stripped of all of his clothes except for his underwear poorly keeping his rod in check.

"Hey ladies. Like what you see?" Chet did a little flex.

The girls giggled and nodded. Chet was ecstatic and made his move.

"So how about you feel this 10 incher in ya later tonight at my place?" The girls giggled again but politely decline much to Chet's rage.

"What?!?!?! You bitches don't know what you're missing on!!!" Chet walked away to his bros absolutely fuming.

"What's wrong bro?" One of the gym bros asked.

"Ladies didn't want my seed it was not fun!!!" Chet replied solemnly.

The bros showed deep concern for Chet and began to hype him up.

"You got big ass Chet! Those bimbos know nothing!!" One of the gymbros said prompting Chet to look at his ass in the nearby mirror.

"You are right!"

Almost as if right on cue another set of ladies walked by and Chet's libido was higher than ever. Chet adjusted his loose underwear ready for a seeding opportunity.

Surprisingly one of the ladies actually agreed to a date later tonight and the whole gymbro group cheered.

"นั่นคือเชตของเรา!" (That's our Chet!) Any sign of Parker was long gone as Chet pulled down his pants thinking of all the ladies he was going to fuck.

Chet's prize swayed back and forth as Chet began to smile as he moved his legs in excitement.

"ฉันรักการเป็นผู้ชาย!" (I love being a man!)

#gay to straight #dick growth #male tf #muscle tf #reality change #mind change #mental change #bodybuilder tf #race change

232 notes · View notes

egelantier · 6 months

Text

rimworld, the addiction

i promised a post about rimworld somewhere an entirety away, and even if i did, by now i was playing it exclusively, a bit every day, for something like half a year, so i think it deserves some kind of an entry in my journal either way.

preface: usually when i describe games here, i put in some kind of a note how this or that game is very casual user friendly (because i am a casual user), and you can play it if you never played stuff, and so on. rimworld is not quite that game. it’s very much a gamer’s game, in a sense that its UI looks like an unholy cross of “hello, world!” programming and an excel spreadsheet, it’s incredibly counterintuitive, it takes from ten to twenty minutes to load on the average (and the loading screen looks like it crashed meantime), and it wants you to suffer. if you play any amount of time, you’re going to inevitably end up with hundred to two hundred mods, and to make the game move with all those mods you’ll have to follow the easily-accessible tutorials with advice like “install this handy Python program” and “Select "BC7 Texconv compressor" on the middle bottom.” and the complexity of the game’s inner system makes its own tutorial - well - it will tell you that you colony needs a freezer for food to outlive the winter, but you will have to intuit by yourself that to make this freezer you’ll have to build a double-walled room of just the right side, put in two air conditioner users set one degree celsius apart from each other to minimize the power load, don’t forget to build double-door airlocks to account for the temperature spikes when the door opens and adjust it by the variety in your biome’s climate. and don’t even get me started on killboxes! this is to say, you’re going to be watching youtube and reading guides. a lot.

(OKAY it’s not THAT bad and you mostly need to be able to know where the mod folder is and how to follow detailed instructions. but by the standards by today’s, increasingly mobile and under-the-hood gaming, it’s practically NASA. even minecraft is more user-friendly in comparison.)

and yet like i said: hordes of rabid fans, literally months of addictive playing, thousands of mods, active scene. why? and what the hell is it? let’s see.

rimworld as a setting is a procedurally generated world in a galaxy far, far away (that takes its setting inspiration from firefly, star wars, a bit of dune, and a general space opera vibe), with diverse climate biomes (from ice sheets to arid deserts, from temperate forests to tropical swamps), inhabited by a variety of friendly and unfriendly flora and fauna and a multitude of friendly and very unfriendly tribes, factions, empire remnants and such. they send each other (and you) raids and trade caravans, and overall just try to survive.

“you" is an unspecified entity (some speculate that you might be an orbital AI, but it doesn’t quite matter) in charge of a group of your “pawns,“ aka colonists - little blobby humanoid representations of either baseline or gene-modified humans that, in a variety of scenarios, find themselves on the unhospitable surface of rimworld either literally butt-naked or with a scant handful of resources, and have to survive and build their way up from a hovel and a campfire to the ultratech spacefaring colony. pawns have their own backstories, traits, needs and health condition; they form relationships, meet their relatives, get together, make up, break up, marry, divorce, make children, mourn their lost people, keep pets, suffer from mental breaks and so on. you can give them direct orders in some occasions, like the battle, but for most of the time you’re going to give them priorities based on their skillset, and watch them do their things on their own, which is alternately fun, touching and infuriating.

your colony’s experience in rimworld is governed by one of the (canonically) three “storytellers,” aka AIs, who’re in charge of sending you various events - enemy raids, wanderers joining in, solar eclipses, manhunting packs of rabid enemies, crop blights, weather anomalies and so on. each storyteller has several levels of intensity, from ‘peaceful’ (it’ll keep weather events and random angry animal attacks, but cut out everything related to hostile pawns, like raiders) to ‘death is inevitable,’ and also has their own style: phoebe just wants you to have a good time, cassandra provides a linear progression of difficulty and alternates ‘bad’ and ‘good’ challenges, and randy just doesn’t give a fuck and WILL get your colony attacked by mechanoids, manhunting yorkshire terriers and pig-human raiders on the same day your favorite melee fighter died and all the electricity cut out, just for the hell of it.

the intended (loosely) gameplay is to randomise your colonists, pick up a storyteller on a medium difficulty, set the game to ‘only save on exit, permadeath’ setting and let your colony tell its own history by surviving as much as it can, mourning its losses and celebrating its wins, and eventually succumbing to the entrophy (or, less likely, achieving one of the win conditions - building a spaceship and getting off the planet, decoding an ancienty mystery to join up with a techmegabrain, hitching a ride with the imperial ship after gladhanding the emperor and his escort in style for a set amount of days, etc.). but the beauty of rimworld is that between the granular difficulty settings and mods you’re able - and welcome - to finetune your experience to the exact specific level of challenge and/or chill you want. don’t care for the fighting at all and just want to build your colony and select the right shade of the carpets? put it on peaceful. don’t mind raiders but fuck those guys who airpod in the middle of your base or breach your walls? the turtle mod is your friend. raiders are fine, but you want to dig your way into the mountain without being afraid of giant insect infestations? turn those assholes off. want to min-max your experience and fight literal horders of enemies every ten minutes? either max out the difficulty or install one of the thousand of mods like combat extended or whatever, that add difficulties and mechanics.

and meanwhile the game - that looks deceptively simple on the outside, build this, harvest this - is stuffed with overcomplicated intersection of various systems creating weird outcomes. it’s a bit minecraft and a bit dwarf fortress and a bit sims and emergent gateways all the way. your little pawns follow the tenets of their ideoligions, get upset over seeing corpses or eating mushrooms, go into berserk rages after eating without a table one too many times, make friends, celebrate the defeat of their rivals and get attached to random squirrels. they can interact with other inhabitants of rimworlds by trading and diplomacy, or indulge in raiding, piracy, enslavement, ritualized murder, forced conversions, cannibalism or non-consensual organ and gene harvesting. a starved pawn on a frozen ice will eat somebody’s body and feel bad about it… unless they come from a society of cannibals, in which case it would be fine and dandy, but they might be upset about eating their human meat in an untidy room, you know? some precepts require the colonists to worship blindness; some of them make people hate the sight of the sun, and some require worshipping every tree and never kill an animal. it’s all, to put it simply, complicated.

and then, of course, mods. the game is created to be as mod-friendly as possible, and so there are literal thousands of them, and they reflect the multifaceted insanity of the world in the most hilarious ways. the most-downloaded mod overall is called wall lights and allows you, well, to put lamps on the wall. the other popular one is called “war crimes,” and you can probably infer its purpose from the title. there are mods that prettify, fully change or customise the chunky UI; mods that clean up or straight up rewrite the graphics; mods that make your little blobby guys look anime and sexy (it’s hilarious); mods that turn rimworld into warhammer 40k, or star wars, or mass effect, or lord of the rim, or a lovecraftian nightmare, or some combination thereof. my favorite of the moment is the collection centered around medieval overhaul, a clever and beautiful bundle that turns the gritty space opera into the fully realized medieval town builder - with smithies and bakeries and castle walls and knight plumages. it takes some time to cobble together a collection that works (and then make sure it all hangs together, and learn to use rimsql, and figure out what the hell defs are and why your log is giving you errors, and change the order of mods a thousand times, and make sure you did not accidentally turn your squirrels into unstoppable death machines while trying to add some prettier capes to your tailor bill), but on practice it means that pretty much every person playing will have their own unique copy of the game, vastly different from what somebody next to them is playing.

like i said above, the intended gameplay is the triumph and misery of playing through as is; but i’m having one of the shittiest years of my entire life, and so almost every day i would load it up and watch the progress of my little medieval towns from one lost person in the wood trying to figure out how to spin flax into thread into little blooming towns, with nothing to distract me. there’s something of bird-watching or flower-pressing to this experience: you set up the conditions and you set up your priorities (or install ‘free will’ and then tear your hair out over your pawns avoiding research and cleaning their floor while winter is looming ahead and they need to figure out how to make parkas) and then you watch how it all unfolds, and you can sprinkle in a bit of a challenge, or you can just watch them grow and mix up and change and misbehave and be silly and transform, and transform, and transform. it more or less saved my sanity. it’s a very specific kind of experience - i built a monastery with a winery and an apothecary’s dark corner in one map, and a small mountain hideaway for a runaway princess in another, and a rough-and-tumble tundra city in third, and so on - and i saw people building unstoppable war machines instead, or trying to survive specific unfair scenarios, or roleplaying, or multiplayering, or minmaxing with spreadsheets and calculators, or all of the above - and god, is it good. is it so goddamn good.

so! whether you want to play it or have ran away screaming by this time, i hope you enjoyed this silly writeup. and if you do want to start playing, don’t hesitate to ask me stuff! or like share my list of mods and so on.

#rimworld #rimworld rec #game rec #games to spend months in #everything is a story

25 notes · View notes

verdanabdit · 9 months

Text

How each goes about taking their first d☆ck. Unless otherwise noted, they're on top and in control of the pace, and have either never been penetrated before or at least have never been penetrated by something bigger than two of their fingers. And of course are with their bro.

I'm boring and think of vajimbos but feel free to imagine a butt instead.

~~~

UT Sans: Agonizingly slow. Needs to rest after nearly every centimeter. Tries really hard not to breathe weird or make noise, unwilling to admit he's not just messing around teasing. By the time he's fully seated, he's out of breath from holding it for so long. Won't admit how overwhelming it is, but can't help but cling to Pap's ribs.

UT Papyrus: Worked himself up thinking it was going to hurt terribly, and the discomfort doesn't live up to the hype, so he takes it smooth and easy. Doesn't stop; finds the continued motion helps dull the slight pain.

UF Sans: It's a heat-of-the-moment thing, so neither of them are really thinking about it when Papyrus pushes him down, and he's surprised by just how much it hurts and ends up kicking Papyrus in the face. Thought lube was for quitters, so they don't have any, and he grumps around while waiting for Papyrus to get back from the store. Papyrus yells about the huge mess Sans makes using more than half the bottle all at once, but Sans snaps back, "shut the f☆ck up. what you gonna do, f☆ck me to death and use me like sawdust to clean it up?? friggin chad thunderc☆ck's out for blood over here, if he can't rip through your taint, he'll bludgeon you with his damn python." and squeezes out the rest of bottle just to be a shit. It still hurts like a motherf☆cker, of course, and Papyrus lets Sans beat on his chest to help distract from it. Says there's not going to be a next time, but changes his mind about half-way through the night.

UF Papyrus: Learned from the above disaster. Brags about how he, unlike Sans, is not going to waste half their night on something so trivial. Is pretty good about hiding his discomfort, and even tells Sans he was being dramatic that time. The banter is a good distraction from the fact that he's not quite f☆cking Sans stupid like he said he would. He'll make good on that promise next time.

US Sans: Doesn't expect it to hurt, so he goes at it with a little more gusto than he should. Very vocal. He pauses after the head, but he doesn't stop for long, not wanting to back down. Nothing he can't handle!!! Has to be told to slow down.

US Papyrus: Tries to play it cool, letting Sans take the lead, but he's actually really worried about it hurting. Tries to endure, but he curls away with a pained groan and worries Sans, who pulls back out. Papyrus ends up crying just a little from a mixture of pain, embarrassment and feeling like he's ruined the evening. He admits he had been looking forward to this, even though he was nervous. Sans calms him down, offers to stop or keep going. Gently works him open until they're snugly joined. (But I also just like to think of this Papyrus as delicate. (*pq′ー｀) He never fully adjusts to how girthy Sans is, so it always hurts at the start even with extensive prep. He learns to not mind it, and then enjoy it.)

SFR Sans: Sets the evening up as a very slow, sensual, teasing atmosphere. Tells Papyrus he isn't allowed to move. Distracts them both with kisses so neither of them are thinking too hard about how slowly he's working himself down. It actually hurts like a b☆tch, but he's glad to feel it. Glad they can share this.

SFR Papyrus: Takes it all in one go, slamming down, groans and comes immediately. It feels like something tore. He's crying. Sans, worried, asks what he should do, but he takes so long to answer. When he does, he just begs Sans to move. It hurts too much to move on his own, but he doesn't want to stop. He doesn't stop crying. It'd be less awkward if he could articulate that he likes how it hurts, but he's just too overwhelmed at the moment. He's sad that it'll never hurt that same way again.

SFP Sans: Most of the time is spent just looking at it. Snaps "DON'T RUSH ME!" when questioned. It's annoyance that gets him to actually do anything, but he needs to pause after a couple inches. He stalls once it's all in, not wanting to admit he needs time to adjust.

SFP Papyrus: Lets Sans do what he wants. Tries to cover up his wincing with complaints about Sans's lack of a delicate touch, but Sans goads an embarrassed admission out of him that it's his first time doing this.

FSG Sans: Sans had asked Papyrus to lead and planned to endure any pain for his brother's sake, just wanting him to feel good, but Papyrus refused, too worried that he'd hurt Sans even with instruction. Sans still largely sets aside his own discomfort, taking it a bit faster than is comfortable for the sake of assuring his brother he's fine.

FSG Papyrus: It's an all night process. He flinches away once it starts to hurt and needs a break. Sans keeps asking if he's sure he wants to do this, but he's determined. They eventually get him fully seated, but it's still too much to really work with, so they just sit still for the rest of the night. He's too sore to try again for a few days, and the next attempt goes about the same. Fourth time's the charm, and he apologizes for the trouble, but Sans assures him he's enjoyed simply being joined with him plenty enough.

HT Sans: Lets Papyrus do what he wants. A sharp inhale makes Papyrus stop, ask if he's alright, but Sans shortly just tells him to keep moving, that it's going to hurt no matter what anyway. Just do it. Papyrus tries to go slow anyway.

HT Papyrus: Is so enamored with the idea (and used to most things hurting) that he doesn't really notice it or let it slow him down.

UL Sans: He was begging Papyrus to take him anyway. He's not going to make him stop now. He cringes and groans loudly, and Papyrus tries to pull out, but Sans locks his legs around him and says it's fine; it's supposed to hurt. A little teary when he asks Papyrus to please keep moving.

UL Papyrus: Kind of regrets just going for it, but stopping part-way would hurt worse. 'Fights back' against the pain by bouncing harder. He'll have given himself a limp by tomorrow.

G Sans: Lays back and is super flippant about it. Pokes fun at Pap for putting so much effort into preparing him. Stops laughing when Pap nudges inside, whimpering a bit. When asked if he's okay, he tries really hard to play it off, says he was just trying to get a rise out of Pap since he cared so much. Papyrus sees through his bullsh☆t, kisses him sweetly, and kindly says he'll be more gentle. Sans grumbles to himself that Pap is way too suave, but he's putty in his hands already, wrapping his arms around his brother's neck and melting into how much tender care he's receiving.

G Papyrus: The only one of them to have used a reasonably sized toy first. Slowly acquainted himself with the sensation on his own so he wouldn't end up being the reason a nice evening needed to stop or pause. Sans is pretty salty about it since Pap made Sans's first into such a damn event.

~~~

US Sans (alternate): It doesn't hurt at all. Papy tragically has a pencil d☆ck. Since he takes it all at once, Papy expresses concern for him, and Sans has to make the snap decision on whether to be honest that he can hardly feel it or pretend in order to save Pap's ego. (If the truth ever comes out, Pap will be devastated, ask why Sans let it go on that long, and Sans responds "BUT YOU WERE SO CUTE, THRUSTING AWAY LIKE THAT. LIKE YOU WERE GETTING SOMEWHERE. IT WAS REALLY CUTE, PAPY." and like, it's not like he wasn't laughing at him, but it wasn't in a mean way, but it's difficult to get that across. For Sans, there's something endlessly endearing about Papyrus trying so hard but being unable to pleasure him. He's not sure what this k☆nk is.)

UF Sans (alternate): Wants it to hurt. He spends his life trying so hard to avoid getting hurt, and he knows Papyrus would never harm him. He wants to feel his brother safely break him. A wonderful pain that symbolizes their trust and love. He urges Papyrus onward, freely cringes and groans in pain, pulls Papyrus closer when he tries to pull away, begs him not to leave, to keep going.

37 notes · View notes

prof-peach · 2 years

Note

Out of character question; you seem to be passionate about and otherwise have a lot of knowledge on animals to apply that to Pokemon. I myself grew up on and live on a farm with lots of different animals and currently work at a dairy farm and I can recognise some of that kind of attitude in you, so what is your experience with animals?

Near enough the same. Grew up on a dairy farm, no human friends, in the middle of Kenya, surrounded by lizards and snakes and bugs and plants. I kept to myself, didnt like to be with humans, and made my own fun.

We keep Jerseys. Had horses, donkeys, sheep, goats, chickens, the usual, plenty of monkeys around, like a butt load of weird birds and stuff, and our house literally sat on a cliff that overlooked the ocean, spent my childhood out in rockpools, spearfishing, snorkling with moray eels and lionfish, I know, danger but they leave you alone if you don't bug them. Pythons, the odd Leopard woudl stray into our area and take a sheep now and then. nothing too crazy.

Very much a farm kid. Moved away to start my career a while back now, but it stays with you, and the farm still runs and ticks along with the other family members. Now I garden a lot, studied horticulture in my free time along side starting my own buisness, spend free time trawling through the woods looking at nature.

Just a regular human I guess? Feels pretty ordinary to me.

#ooc #behind the scenes

160 notes · View notes

bodybeyondstories · 22 hours

Text

dicks keep growing around me - 5 (Miguel)

After his date with Myron last night (and this morning) Miguel finds himself unable to focus on anything work related, instead coming to multiple realizations about the complications of their respective weird powers.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (Previous)

maleTF // butt growth // dick growth // self suck // nsfw

3744 words

A good luck charm, I thought, my mind occupied by this revelation as I rumbled along on my morning commute, the train car packed as usual. I managed to get a seat and use my shoulder bag to cover up the obvious bulge crammed messily into my pants that morning as, upon finally seeing Myron off, well fed and satisfied–in more ways than one–I realized I was significantly more late to work than I thought.

I had hoped that clearing the pipes multiple times in the past twelve hours would get me some respite, but the carnal need concentrated in my groin was ever present, thunderclouds lingering in the horizon of my mind. It’s strange how quickly you can get used to the incessant pull of horniness, the volcanic eruption waiting just below the surface, threatening to wipe out the surrounding countryside with a pyroclastic flow. I structured my days now around keeping the python in my pants drained and sated, releasing the pressure valve of cum several times a day, from bed to shower to periodic visits to the single stall bathroom in the office. After enough catastrophic wardrobe malfunctions, I had backups and backups for the backups, counting myself lucky if I could make it through the day without soaking another pair of pants with precum.

Not that it was all bad. I’d been having the most incredible orgasms of my life and woke up every morning with the gooey kiss of my morning wood hovering just below my lips, inviting them for a makeout sesh that I was happy to oblige. The awkwardness and extra layers of management and planning were a constant concern, but I was starting to feel a confidence at the sight of myself in the mirror, my root dangling between my knees, refusing to be ignored. How many guys have fantasized about having this exact problem?

At the next stop, one of the regulars on my commute slipped in through the closing doors in the nick of time. I could never tell if he was getting off third shift or starting first, but he always looked good in the pink medical scrubs that tastefully complemented his physique. By the looks of his arms, he probably worked out a few times a week, just enough to stay toned, but as he maneuvered around the rush hour crush and found the pole in front of me, my eyes locked on to the bubble butt overfilling the seat of his pants.

I had always appreciated the cute butt in those scrubs, but it was looking particularly good lately, perched atop a pair of juicy legs that looked like they saw a squat rack daily. He looked disproportionate below the waist, packed into pants that went beyond form fitting and were arguably a few sizes too small. He kept surreptitiously adjusting his waistband and shifting his stance, as if slowly coming to the same realization.

Hmm, I thought. Another data point. Winston had also been my subway commute crush, I remembered. Could everyone packed into this car with me be getting unintended ass enhancements? I was too unsettled by the thought to do any casual reconnaissance of the assets of the other riders, my crotch already warming with excitement at the idea that that theory might be right. For how long has the general public been growing inexplicably juicy derrieres on their daily commutes? It’d be a great marketing campaign for using public transport, I mused. Why go to the gym when you can just take the train with yours truly?

So I tried very intentionally to mind my own business, not wanting to ogle this dude in public but especially not wanting to wake the beast. As a space opened next to me, he smoothly slid around the poll, his overdeveloped glutes briefly eclipsing my entire field of vision, and squeezed in. He had a moment of shifting his hips uncomfortably, as if he wasn’t used to the seat or had expected there to be more room, eventually giving up and playing it off as he glanced up at the ads along the ceiling.

I was frozen in terror. That morning, I had had no time for clever maneuvering or tricks of the light and had unceremoniously shoved my penis into some trunks and compression shorts. I had long ago outgrown anything that had a pouch remotely capable of containing this monster, so it indignantly ran along my waist, the very sensitive cock head disguised as a fold along my left hip. A fold that this guy had just been accidentally grinding against with no idea of the repercussions. Shivers shot up and down my spine, my eyes tightening in concentration as my hips twitched and I self-consciously held a tightly controlled posture, afraid of even the slightest motion resulting in a runaway train of arousal in the worst possible location.

I pulled out my phone and began skipping through my email for the most unsexy possible distraction, deleting some typical weekday spam about a presentation coming up, the expense reports, something about the windows and an updated schedule from the office maintenance guy, Wes. I swiped each one into oblivion, intensely not thinking about my dick.

This lasted for an agonizing several stops until with a flurry of pink, the guy got up to leave, the side of his glutes shifting the layers of fabric between us, sending a jolt of pleasure along the length of my dick. I gasped, just loud enough for him to glance back with a look of self-consciousness at his backside then slight confusion in the general direction of my waist before he shook his head briefly and turned to exit. Close call.

I somehow made it to work without further incident. Maybe I should switch back to biking to work, I thought wryly, imagining my junk smashed painfully between my pumping legs and the narrow seat. At least I could blow off some steam. I was barely cognizant of the goings on in the office that morning. I stayed put at my desk, still basking in the ebb and flow of post-coital bodily contentment, pursuing emails through a veil of apathy, my mind still wrapped up in my evening–and morning–with Myron.

I was honestly surprised he had agreed to go on a date, showing up at my go to date night cocktail bar in those tweed slacks that made his ass curve like that. I was so nervous. Was I trying too hard? Was the cologne too much? Was I overdressed? He looked so cute and casual in a way that just worked. But we had a great time, even with the surprise visit of a somehow even more bootylicious Winston terrorizing the gays and girls at the establishment–and my awkward stammering that seemed to delight Myron to no end. We immediately hit it off with a different sort of chemistry, leaning into different sorts of nuances from each others’ lives. The way his eyes widened when he talked about the trip to Cape Town that he’d been saving and planning for for years; the fact that we’re both allergic to mangoes; the little pinch he would give to the bridge of his nose when he was trying to recall something from his past. I was smitten.

I had really sat here in my office and put together an entire playlist for the occasion yesterday and gone so far as to insist on playing it in the car. I looked over at his empty desk and chair across the room, still unoccupied. I squat in your office for six months, and then you buy me dinner, he had said. It’s almost like this is a date or something, I returned. The look on his face was priceless. As was the steadily thickening tension during the ride home. And the chivalrous peck on the cheek at my door. Of course I couldn’t let him leave.

I had long given up on getting any actual work done, instead focusing on taming the beast shoved into my too tight pants, my taint flexing periodically as I rocked on my medicinal ball chair, giving a strained, professional smile to Susan as she popped in to ask about the expense reports, trying to not make it obvious that I was lightly thrusting the air under my desk. All I could think about was the adorable, sweet man who no longer kept me company just a few feet away in my office but had kept me company just a few hours ago in my bed. All I could think about was how egregious a decision it was to continue on with our respective responsibilities and the separate trajectories of our lives, how lovely it would’ve been to call out sick and spend the morning pretzeled together under the covers, his breath tickling the space between my neck and clavicle, my hand periodically tracing figure eights along the warm topography of his back and then settling where it rightfully belonged on the curve of that ethereal bubble butt.

I mean…I guess I sort of do have a type. When it comes to my love life, I’m open to all kinds, and I’ve dated a number of different people, but as my friends love to point out, there’s one commonality across the board: some serious junk in the trunk. Everyone loves a nice ass, but I do tend to go big or go home. And in retrospect, in past relationships, the big went, well, bigger. The pattern’s been apparent for a while, but I didn’t really think anything of it. Everyone has their preferences, and mine just happens to be a pair of glutes that could stop traffic. If you had suggested that men’s asses were somehow magically inflating to disproportionate sizes due to my generous attention, I would have asked which kink site you’d pulled that from, but as I sat at my desk in a cold war with the python running down my leg that had gone from impressive to comical to ridiculous over the past several months, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe something mysterious really was afoot.

The evidence for Myron’s theory was mounting, and the implications of him being right were a heady mix of titillating and sobering that felt surreal to think through in the confines of my neat little office. As I reminisced on soaping up his bodacious buns in the shower and the unbridled thrill of watching them blow out the seat of his pants, my posture straightened slightly in excitement at the idea that this was due to some strange ability on my part. How many men had I fantasized about, imagining how much cuter they would be with some posterior augmentation? Just a little more heft here, some more roundness there. Most of the dudes in the office had some pretty nice butts–I guess we know why, I realized–but there was always room for improvement, wasn’t there?

Myron wasn’t the first romantic partner to have a sudden wardrobe malfunction after a night of fun. Honestly, I kind of get a kick out of the moment of catastrophic failure, seams splitting, cheeks spilling out and taking up space, but when does the fantasy of too muchness really become too much? And if we couldn’t figure out how to control whatever this is, how much longer until we’re both transformed beyond any ability to live a normal life? Or at least wear normal clothes? There had to be an upper limit, right?

My dick lurched in response, as if dreaming its own future as an impossible to hide third leg. It was already way too massive by any sensible standards, and after seeing Myron’s friend Ty, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to hefting a log around 24/7. The worsening curse in my crotch had complicated my love life, turning intimacy into a dance of negotiations, warnings, starts and stops, attempts and failures. Casual hookups had been out of the question for a while now, since even most size queens were far too concerned–and rightfully so–about their bodily wellbeing to entertain the thought of bottoming. For a while, it had been such a confidence boost seeing the looks of awe and hunger, like my dick was a challenge to be surmounted, but trepidation turned to absurd surprise and acute concern, and eventually visages of terror in the face of whatever radioactive mutation had produced the kaiju between my legs. I even had a few guys get word of what I was packing and get me undressed just to try and take pics of it, even hefting it like I was a sideshow at the circus. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing those circulating online, one or both hands trying–and failing–to cover the length of my member.

Needless to say, I had been so nervous about the Big Reveal last night, expecting Myron to outright refuse or simply come to his senses and realize I was some sort of anomaly that should not be counted. But he was so tender and took it like a champ. It’s like we just fit together.

I was jolted back to my office by the sharp buzz of my phone against my desk. Speak of the devil.

[Myron: Whatcha up to?]

[Me: Expense reports? Maybe?]

[Myron: Ah, yes, I was probably supposed to do those before I left. Send Susan my regards.]

[Me: She can and will hunt you down!]

[Myron: She can try 🤭. Also what was that you mentioned earlier? Hip thrusts?]

[Me: Lol are you at the gym?]

[Myron: Maybe! Ty just started working here, they’ve been sneaking me in past the counter. I’m building my leg day routine]

[Me: Please don’t make me imagine you with a glute pump, I’ve gotten nothing done here already]

[Myron: You don’t have to!]

An image appeared in the text thread. Myron taking a mirror pic standing in the squat rack, three plates on either side of the bar. I didn’t even know he lifted like that, I thought, my eyes dwelling on the contrast between his soft arms and the slight pudge of his belly with the ass that ballooned from his side profile in a pair of skimpy gym shorts that may as well have been painted on. It looked even more phenomenal than it had this morning, catching the late morning natural light and even a few stares from gym bros in the background.

[Myron: You would be a great trainer. Results guaranteed 🤪]

A moment of terror at the thought of the havoc I would wreak if my day job was moving through a sweaty, intimate gym space and helping people with squat form, but my dick stirred with enthusiasm at the idea, the dribble of precum threatening to become a faucet.

[Me: …I really liked these pants]

[Myron: RIP! Literally!]

Don’t even joke–I began typing before I heard the telltale sound of seams popping, my dick taking Myrons’ last text as a suggestion. Shit, I should’ve seen this coming. My semi lurched in my pants as it became more and more turgid, forcing me to reposition and hinge my hips back in my seat to ease the pressure against already strained fabric. I had to take care of this.

I could barely walk with the baseball bat running down my leg, let alone make it to the bathroom without risking an HR nightmare–Do they have workplace accommodations for people with inhumanly massive, constantly drooling monster cocks? They should. But I managed to waddle to the door, turn the lock, and firmly close the blinds before urgently whipping off the multiple layers of constrictive clothing that I threw on that morning in a futile attempt to restrain the beast.

My dick flicked precum into the air as it shot up, bobbing in front of me at a 90 degree angle and steadily rising into the air as my body diverted all resources to this erection. From the lightheadedness and the momentum of my cock throwing me off balance, I stumbled back, landing in Myron’s old chair. I took a moment to lean back and be caressed by the ergonomic design, noticing how it still kind of smelled like him, imagining his perspective from our days in the office together. I was interrupted by a sticky reminder of the task at hand, my dick bobbing in front of my face before coming to rest against my bottom lip. It’s all so perfectly arranged, I thought, as I indulged in what had become my favorite hobby, licking up the precum from the top of the head before letting my lips part around it, easing lower and lower as my head bobbed in little circles. The sensation is indescribable, and somehow feels so fresh every time, like I could sit there as a closed circuit of dick for eternity, never tiring of sucking myself off, getting sustenance from load after load of thick, gooey cum. My hands worked the shaft in tandem, though they weren’t enough to cover much surface area. I was mildly frustrated, left wanting for another pair to get me over the edge of orgasmic pleasure. I was growing to become too much for just one person, even if that person is me, but I worked diligently, the rest of the office completely oblivious to the monster dick autofellatio taking place during the late morning lull.

My dick began to buck along the shaft, pulsing with girth as my balls pulled up, churning in anticipation. I picked up the pace and breathed in deep, preparing for the eruption to come. I groaned as I began spurting thick ropes of jizz into my throat, swallowing as much as I could before giving up and letting my dick emerge from my exhausted lips with a wet pop, getting off several shots against the window behind me before slowly collapsing onto my left shoulder, drooling into the crook of my neck. I pulled out my phone, and with some difficulty due to cum soaked fingers, managed to open the text thread with Myron.

Look what you made me do, I typed, opening the camera and switching to front facing to snap a pic of my jizz covered face with my behemoth dick nestled next to it. As it was sending, I noticed a figure in the background hovering just over my shoulder, silhouetted by the morning sun.

I spun around in horror to see Wes. The maintenance guy whose email I definitely should’ve paid attention to that morning. Standing in the window washing scaffold, staring dumbfounded and unthinkingly trying to squeegee the cum oozing down the interior side. A crooked smile and an awkward wave, then splayed thumb and pinky on either side of his ear. Call me? he mouthed, 19 stories off the ground.

—

“Wes the window washer boyfriend!” sang Ty, nowhere near the right key.

Ty, Myron, and I were at the park, lounging in the afternoon sun, as I explained how my window washing encounter had somehow not resulted in catastrophe.

“We talked it out and reached an agreement of sorts,” I said, eyes rolling to the clouds. “No one needs to hear about my private activity or unique, uh, proportions, and if that private activity coincides with Wes’s window washing schedule, so be it. They can probably see this thing in the next building over anyways,” I groaned.

“So he likes to watch?” asked Ty, leaning back on their elbows with knees bent, their shorts doing nothing to hide the bulge of stretchy fabric emerging out of the bottom, not that they looked like they very much cared. Apparently Myron had gotten some underwear with specially made pouches for his friend, and I made a mental note to get some pairs of my own.

“And you like to be watched,” said Myron, a conspiratorial smile in my direction. His running shorts showed off his juicy thighs with a smattering of stretch marks greeting the Sun as he relaxed in my lap, a convenient arrangement for my own predicament to not be as visible as Ty’s. I hadn’t been brave enough to wear shorts since that fateful hike, but he convinced me they would look cute–and they did–but I was still coming around to the attention they brought.

“Yes and yes,” I sighed, giving a light squeeze to the pudge of Myron’s abdomen then letting my hand drift up to one of his juicy pecs. “You really have been hitting the gym,” I mused, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“An inspiration to us all,” added Ty, lazily waving a half finished joint in one hand as dramatic flourish. “A leader among leg day enthusiasts.”

“Not without some help,” added Myron with a smirk up towards me.

“Allegedly,” I fake scowled. “Anecdotally, even.”

“All I’m saying is Wes might wanna rethink your arrangement after going up a few pant sizes.”

I demurred, having convinced myself that the panes of glass may provide some sort of magical barrier. Still though, I would need to keep an eye on Wes’s assets through those thick work pants…

“Ah!” exclaimed Ty, glancing at Myron’s thick, round bubble, then at me. “So this is your doing.” They were connecting the dots.

“It’s a great workout routine,” I said. “Just with some added boosts.” I blushed. Myron smiled brightly up at me. I lost myself for a moment in his eyes.

“You two are really meant for each other,” said Ty with a chuckle, getting up to stroll to the bathroom. They kept trying (and failing) to casually tuck their prodigious bulge back above the hem of their shorts as they walked, succeeding only in drawing more attention to the pipe running across their thigh and out the bottom.

That’ll be me one day, I thought, with more than a little trepidation. Was I ready for that? My dick already looked ridiculous, but not yet as unwieldy as theirs. And that’s without the benefit of Ty’s lanky height. Actually, come to think of it…

“Ty,” I said to Myron.

“Mhmm.”

“They’re…um…”

“Taller,” he admitted, as if he’d been waiting for me to notice.

“Right. Ok.”

My stomach tightened as yet another fold of complexity formed in this already chaotic situation. I leaned in to Myron to wrap my arms around him, breathing him in and nuzzling into his shoulder. My shirt rode up. It felt a little tight.

#male tf #I love putting characters on public transit #I love a casual space of serendipitous interaction

4 notes · View notes

andy-clutterbuck · 3 months

Text

6x07 | Heads Up

138 notes · View notes

sortanonymous · 6 months

Text

The Heroic Quest of the Valiant Prince Ivandoe is so darn good!!!

It's a shame that the overseas release of this show (which, yes, is from the Gumball staff) has been such a hot mess because it is such a fun time even just two episodes in! It has such a fun cast of characters between the main duo (WE MUST STAN BERT!) and the many one-off characters, the humor is absolutely hilarious, and there's a genuine heart and intrigue to the show and it's world that make it that much more of a great adventure! (Seriously, the second episode made me emotionally invested in the well-being of a giant chicken monster. What have the people at this studio been on for the past 12½ years and where can I find it?) The best way I can describe it is that it feels like just tiny drops of Gumball's tone and 2D character design style (which should be obvious), Monty Python and the Holy Grail's spoofing of fantasy tropes, and even Over the Garden Wall's variety in settings (okay, maybe not much like that last one at all in any other way, but I digress). Such a great start for a show that I will definitely be keeping track of, even if I wish it didn't air new episodes so freaking early. (Seriously, does Cartoon Network even want to have a hit show anymore?)

In fact, the weird and sad thing about CN being at death's door and having so few new shows is that the ones I have gotten off my lazy butt to see have still been so good, between this and Unicorn: Warriors Eternal (I know it was slapped onto adult swim at the 11th hour, but that's a CN show and you won't convince me otherwise, although I'm kinda glad [as] is taking it in if for no other reason than them not being allergic to Blu-Rays and decent scheduling). Admittedly Zaslav being Zaslav does worry me about both shows' futures, but hey, Unicorn at least has the armor of technically being aired as a show on the seemingly safer [adult swim] and the credentials of a legendary creator who wants to do three more seasons, while Ivandoe is apparently already at like Season 3 or something in Italy so at least I already know there's plenty more to come. Regardless of studio locations (or countries) and the company's fragile state, there's still magic left in Cartoon Network, and I really hope these two great shows are not the last we see of it.

Anyways check out new episodes Saturday mornings at 9 ET on Cartoon Network! Considering how good this show is and how bad CN is at marketing it, I have no shame playing the shill here.

Also apparently if an ex-animator is to be believed, Gumball Season 7 is coming out mid-to-late 2024 while the movie is on hold and I have no clue what to think. The way they'll handle that cliffhanger has just looked muddier by the day since it aired, but hopefully the show itself will still be as good we expected because wow I've missed peak Gumball! (Bonus points if it's actually as good as Seasons 2, 3, and suprisingly 6, instead of the kinda disappointing Seasons 4 and 5 although that's all a rabbit hole for another day.)

#the heroic quest of the valiant prince ivandoe #prince ivandoe #underrated #cartoon network #gumball season 7 thoughts at the end #kinda wish to do some kind of discussion or geeky stuff each episode #you know like all the cartoons during tumblr's prime in the mid-2010s

9 notes · View notes

hisshiss-bitch · 7 days

Note

what’s your cat’s name? (also we share a lot of interests hehe (good omens, potc, beetlejuice, musicals, lemon demon, osemanverse, hazbin, monty python, night at the museum for tiny gays only, and we are both indecisive. wait a minute. are you me? anyway sorry back to cat)

omg another long lost twin!! come join the cult lol

her name is bijou and she is the bestest good girl even though she's pretty dumb lol

she has the prettiest green eyes and has spots on her little belly and its adorable

anyways here she is

oh and i taught her how to sit!! so now whenever i get out her treat bag she runs into the kitchen and plops her little butt down and looks up at me imploringly until i give her a treat

#ramblings #cat #:D #:3

3 notes · View notes

plaguefields-rp · 2 months

Text

Behold Them...

this is PATCHES. she looks exactly like when bugs bunny dresses up like marilyn monroe with the dramatic eyeliner and beauty mark. she stands on her hind feet and walks like vince mcmahon. i won't lie; it's intimidating.

this is CARMEN. you know, like the woman who ditched the protagonist of The Band's "The Wait" and left him to hang out with the devil. my partner says her face looks like a butt and i'm not going to say he's wrong, but it's a really really cute butt. crazy thing is that she's full-grown at 3lbs.

HAZEL is your standard black and white dutch rabbit. her markings make her appear to be wearing pants and a black luchador mask. you might be wondering what's up with all the orange stuff on her face. well, i left a bowl of spaghettios unattended for just a little too long.

DAVID JOHANSEN JR ("Davie") is just an all-around weird organism, much like the guy I named her after. she has glowing red eyes and a tail that doesn't look like a standard cotton-puff bunny tail so much as an overlong prehensile butt-tentacle.

OLIVE doesn't care what you're eating, but she wants it. she has a white dot on her nose and i think she has a crush on my therapist because she likes to do wacky shit in the background during my zoom appointments. earlier today she farted and it made my bedroom smell like scallions for like four whole minutes.

this is BLUTESSA and she is 24lbs of womanly menace. she's named after the canonical sister of Bluto from Popeye. she really likes a game called "Froot Loop," which is pretty much fetch but with froot loops and she doesn't bring them back. i've already made a callout post about how she doesn't wipe her ass very well. none of the others have this issue, so this is definitely a Her-problem.

LUCKY (temporary name) has a sad-as-fuck origin story. the guy at the pet store told me she was "unsellable" because she has a deformed leg. he made a point of showing me how affectionate and cuddly she was before casually telling me nobody would want her and he was gonna feed her to a snake. you know what likes deformed snuggly rabbits even more than a hungry python? ME. i do. she's actually doing great and has a real thing for honey mustard.

this has been "My Rabbits." thanks for tuning in.

BONUS IMAGES:

blutessa compared to her average-sized housemates

is a musclebound headlock truly so different from a loving embrace?

#toiletwatership down

6 notes · View notes

amberdawn · 5 months

Text

Things o have fucked up at work:

-failed to make hog eat his medicine that he apparently needed to take all of (no one told me!!!!!! But ok I wasted expensive medicine that’s about to expire anyway sure sure want me to commit seppuku in front of you would that satisfy you???? Our vet is a bitch)

-giraffe were very stubborn and wouldn’t move where I wanted them to

-let the giant reticulated python shit all over the place (I have never touched a snake that large before let alone be at ghe butt end!!! And she was wiggly and kept twisting even tho I tried to hold the flap closed!!)

#my rational mind can understand that many of these factors are beyond my control #and the people who are more experienced than me should have warned me or helped me but didn’t #I still feel like it’s my fault and I’m a failure and stupid and useless.

6 notes · View notes

deathzgf · 4 months

Text

i had some Odd conversations with my mother today , most of Which happened to be recorded in oomf ' s discord dms . So ! here ' s the transcript no one asked for :3

me : john adams big naturals

mum :

mum : what about john adams and his big naturals ?

me : i ' m gonna bite them

mum : have you got a big enough mouth ?

me : WHAT ? HAVE I GOT A BIG ENOUGH MOUTH ?

me : HOW BIG DO YOU THINK JOHN ADAMS BIG NATURALS ARE ?

mum : well ! i ' ve heard they ' re huge

me : wheyuh ?

me : did thomas jefferson tell you that ?

me : what do you think of thomas jefferson telling king george iii that he could eat a fat dick ? ( in reference to fredrick douglass vs thomas jefferson )

mum : i ' m not sure that that was actually uh what was said

me : it did ! it did !

mum : i think that ' s someone being mischevious

me : no no no

mum : perverting history by making up stories about what was said

me :

me : wait till you find out about benjamin franklin ' s sex cult

me : if thomas jefferson has the fat dick

me : and john adams has the big naturals

me : who ' s flying the plane ?

mum : 🤓☝️ well they didn ' t have planes in those days so

me : i have a challenge for you

mum : what ' s the challenge ?

me : name one austrian who has contributed to something positive to society

mum :

me : is camille desmoulins like an archaeopteryx ?

mum : no

me : ok ok ok listen

me : federalist party vs democratic republican party

me : oiled up and booty butt naked ; who ' s winning the twerk off ?

mum :

mum : Wow

me : or would john adams big naturals win

mum :

me : federalist party vs democratic republican party vs john adams big naturals oiled up and booty butt naked who ' s winning the twerk off ?

mum : so oiled up . . . beauty butt naked

me : booty butt

mum : so in their birthday suit

me : yes

mum : and what was the final thing ?

me : who is winning the twerk off

mum : what ' s a twerk off

me :

me : where . . . where you compete to see who twerks the best

mum : is that . . . ejaculates the highest ?

me : no ? ? ?

me : actually who would ejaculate the highest

me : i feel like . . . thomas jefferson and his fat dick would win the ejaculation off

mum : right

me : but the twerk off

me : i feel like aaron burr would take that home for the democratic republican party

mum : yeah ?

me : yeah . . . but against john adams big naturals . . . ough

mum : well that sounds pretty hard to beat to be honest

me : wait wait wait would james monroe or aaron burr win the twerk off for the democratic republican party

mum : [ sings monty python ]

me : are you an annalett yuri truther

mum :

me : and look ! the reasons clear ! for the first time in a year ! john adams big naturals aren ' t here !

me : mum would you still love me if i was a liberal

mum :

me : my pretty princess 2008 john adams big naturals thomas jefferson

mum : but he ' s not a pretty princess

me : YES HE IS

mum : since when ?

me : SINCE [ starts crying ]

me : ok ok what are your thoughts on jamilton

mum : jamilton ?

me : JAMILTON

mum : who ' s that

mum : is that a crossbreed between hamilton and jefferson ?

me : ARE YOU AN ANNALETT YURI TRUTHER ?

mum : no

me , the # 1 annalett yuri truther : NO ? ?

me : are you a sewlett yuri truther

mum : no

me : ok are you a hamburr yuri truther

mum : no i ' m simple plain mum

me : do you think benjamin tallmadge is baby boy

mum : dain . i have no idea what kind of conversation we are having

me : but but but do you think benjamin tallmadge . is . baby . boy

mum : how do you think we ' re going to solve the world ' s housing problems ?

me :

me : with baby boy benjamin tallmadge

me : do you think abraham woodhull is baby boy

mum : excuse me ?

me : abraham woodhull is baby boy

mum : i don ' t even know if what you just said is a sentence or not

mum : abc

me : thomas jefferson ' s fat d

me : wait what comes after d

me : abcde E . estrogen

me : estrogen could have saved like . Everyone in the french revolution

me : estrogen could have saved camille desmoulins . estrogen could have saved louis antoine saint - just . estrogen could have saved maximilien robespierre . estrogen could not have saved georges danton . i hate danton . estrogen could have saved georges couthon . i looove couthon

me : you know what killed john laurens ?

me : the Fog

me : if the fog was british

me : i ' m britsh

mum : what do you think of antidisestablishmentarianism ?

average interaction with my mother

#kitty meows #frev #amrev #i Guess #john adams big naturals #this is so stupid sorry #this is not everything btw #there was a Lot more #e . g . :#us arguing over napolexander #a Lot more singing #we sang the australian anthem for some reason

4 notes · View notes