#maybe i should just stop trying
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I’m tired
#I wish they would take me seriously I wish they would actually listen when I talk I wish I could actually talk to them about things I like#I wish I could see them without being scared they’ll ask why I’m not doing this or that or Why I’m trying to enjoy my time or#I wish I could be someone they could be proud of#I wish I could be better#Instead I’m just a fucking failure#I’ll never be much more than a lazy fucking idiot who can’t even function like a proper human being#I’ll never be who I wish I could be#I don’t even know why I still try#Maybe I should just stop trying#vent tw#sorry
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i just don't do relationships right, do i?
#something wrong with me i think#i think i got my idea of how friendships are supposed to be and i expect too much#and letting myself get hurt#i just wish i didn't annoy everyone and wasn't so needy#i think i just need to realize my expectations have been too high#and i don't know what the socially acceptable progression of things like that are#so i scare everyone off#bc i get weird i'm too intense too fast#and then i still feel like we have a connection but i've been long forgotten#and i miss them but i'm just that weirdo they managed to ditch sooner rather than later#maybe i should just stop trying#i've been alone for so long i can't see it ever changing#there's too much wrong with me#i don't want to be alone but it just seems inevitable#i don't have family except my brother and most friends i do manage to somehow hold onto i piss off all the time bc i'm fucking exhausting#like i have family but when have they ever given a shit about me and who i actually am#my brother is the only decent one who shows me any amount of respect#Casper is the one good friend i have who manages to tolerate me#but that's all i've got#is my brother and Casper#i just want to feel wanted by someone#i don't want to have to ask if they can pencil me it#i want someone to ask me to hang out with me#make time for me and reach out and ask to spend time with me prove they don't just tolerate my presence#i do it all the time i'm always the one to do it#why can't someone do it back for once#why can't someone want me back for once
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I guess DARE wasn’t a thing in Goron City
#saw someone call zelda the gorons drug dealer and I couldnt get the image of her in a trenchcoat peddling marbled rock roast to children#like one of those shady guys selling wristwatches in cartoons out of my head#anyway that’s where this came from#trying to figure out comics and shit. not my strong suit so sorry if its rough.#figuring out an optimal level of detail is hard :( first I’m like oh i’ll just leave it black and white and then i’m like maybe ill add#color and then i’m like well now it needs shading and THEN it needs lighting and THEN IT NEEDS A BACKGROUND AND THEN IT NEE#anyway i should. probably stop rambling bye#loz#tears of the kingdom#totk#totk spoilers#i mean sorta. not huge spoilers. slight spoilers for goron arc I guess#zelda#myart
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Why do I always end up being a sextoy?
#i’m so tired#everyone I’ve dated has just ended up using me for sex#maybe that’s all I’m good for#maybe I should just stop trying
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And what if I said I don't like that male teacher Porter is obsessed with that teen girl and keeps meeting her alone in places like his office
#no no no this is my own stuff I know that#but maybe I just don't Like It#and am keeping my guard up and heckles raised#and maybe he should stop trying to mentor her when she didn't ask for that#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#fhjy#text post#porter#fig faeth#dimension 20#d20
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₊˚⊹｡ do you believe in love? | gojo satoru
wc: 808
summary: you’re both 23 when you first ask gojo about love.
contains: written with f!reader in mind but no pronouns are mentioned, a bit of sad, there is a swear, kind of a will-they-won’t-they, alludes to some of gojo’s possible internal struggles, might feel a bit ooc? but i like to think gojo does have serious conversations once in a while
a/n: the kind of gojo i envision in this is inspired by all the teen dad/dad gojo fics that i’ve ever read, most notably 'teen dad gojo' by @seravphs and 'keeping up with the fushiguros' by @/augustinewrites. this isn’t an addition to any of their works, but the way they write and characterise gojo has shaped the way i understand him (and ultimately how i write him) in these little blurbs of mine :’) please do check their works out if you have the time, it’s some of my favourites!! :’)
collection masterlist: conversations on love
you are here -> 02. tell me about love (show me how)
“Do you believe in love?”
You don’t think he hears you at first, but that’s impossible; the night is quiet, with only you and Gojo sitting by the steps of the dormitory entrance. His dangly long legs brush against yours, lingering barely.
Since Suguru’s defection, Gojo’s gotten a lot more contemplative. He hides it a lot, especially with Megumi and Tsumiki around, but there are times that you catch him spacing out. There’s a far away look on his face and his demeanor completely shifts, rambunctiousness fading into something more restrained, if only in that moment.
Other times, you’re let into that space with him, like now.
“I do.” he replies, uncharacteristically succinct. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it.
You weren’t expecting it, to be honest. With everything that’s happened to him so far, you were ready for a flat out cynical ‘no’. But—
“But,” he continues, “not for me.”
There’s the ‘but’.
He turns to look at you, eyes covered by the bandages he’s been opting for more recently. You’ve known Gojo since you were both 15, and somehow, you’ve gotten good at guessing what he’s always hiding.
“You wanna tell me why?” you nudge. You figure this is good for him—or at least you hope it is.
Getting Gojo to actually sit and have a real conversation with you has been increasingly difficult since Suguru disappeared. Taking in the Fushiguros, then the higher ups assigning him missions back-to-back-to-back—it’s been a lot. And you worry about him, if he’s even been able to sit down and process everything, if he’s even given himself the chance to feel for once.
“Not really,” he shrugs, turning back to the garden in front of you. There isn’t much to discuss, it either fits in his life or doesn’t. When he’s meant for a purpose much larger than himself, small wants remain at just that: small, negligible.
You huff, unable to hide your disappointment, “Okay.”
But, you respect him and what he wants (or does not want) to say.
As you stare out with him, Gojo eyes you from the side, the pout on your lips a teenage souvenir you still carry now at 23. He breaks into a small smile, the corners of his lips curving up slightly, fondly.
“It’s just not meant for me, that’s all.”
He doesn’t look at you when he says that, too.
You slowly avert your gaze from the grass in front of you, focusing on him instead. His smile is still there, although it feels resigned, like he’s accepted this long ago.
Gojo has never been meant to handle something so delicate and fragile—his divinity keeps him untouchable from such pure things.
Still, you want to tell him that that’s not true. That you think love is meant for everyone, even in this fucked up, cursed world—especially in this fucked up, cursed world.
You want to tell him that love is meant for him too.
“Do you wish it were?”
He hums, arms stretching back as he leans on his wrists. His head dips back, looking at the sky. There’s a pause, then an exhale before he continues, “There’s no point thinking about it, I guess.”
A non-answer. You take what you can get; it’s hard enough getting Gojo to be honest with you, much less talk about things like this. The night continues this way: you exchange anecdotes about your latest missions, then talk about Megumi’s most recent involvement in a school incident. Serious questions pop up here and there but you don’t push, and Gojo is willing to share what he can.
.
.
.
You are 23 when you first ask Gojo if he believes in love, and he does, but what he doesn’t tell you is this: that he only believes it because he sees it in you—through the things you do, for Megumi and Tsumiki. For him too.
There’s always been this unspoken thing between the two of you. He doesn’t know what to call it—never has, but it’s comfortable and safe, so he tries to keep it that way.
Suguru has left an unpatchable hole inside of him that only you can seem to touch, softening the jaggedy edges so it doesn’t cut as deep. When he first showed up with Megumi and Tsumiki that one Friday night, you had all the questions in the world; he could see it, feel it in the furrow of your brows and the tapping of your foot. But instead, you asked this: “Have you guys eaten dinner yet?”
Gojo cannot afford love, not yet. Not when there’s still so much at risk, still so much to do. The cons significantly outweigh the pros on both ends, so this will have to do for now—this unspoken thing, that he hopes one day, he can finally call for what it really is.
comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gojo#satoru#shotorus.writes#help my fingers just started typing and they wouldn't stop ahahahahah#me: writing gojo is so intimidating he's so complex#also me: what are gojo's thoughts on love maybe i should write about it and try to unpack why he feels that way about it#col
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hm
#feeling a bit weird#like#where do i stand??? should i just leave?? step back???#idkidkidkidk#wouldnt it be hilarious if im just wrong#remember when i felt really bad bc i thought i wasnt worth it#great times#maybe im really not#maybe i should just stop trying#hmm sometimes thinking thoughts is#well its not that great#hmmmmmmmmm#personal#now that i think about it i should browse this tag and delete posts maybe#too much work tho#ugh i should stop#i wonder if there will come a day when im not just completely overcome and overwhelemed by my own feelings
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"Are you finished with my portrait yet? Show me!"
"Cipacton, I can't draw you if you keep moving!"
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#temeraire worldbuilding collection#did you like those guys from the last picture? here they are again :)#at this point I feel like I should have be oc tagging five deer and cipachcoatzin just for organizational purposes#but if I don't then I can pretend I can stop drawing them...#<- He Has Ideas For At Least One More Picture and Other People And Dragons They Know#if you want to see what five deer is drawing then turn your eyeballs to my previous drawing of them!#after finishing that one I wanted to figure out what cipachcoatzin looked like outside of the super stylized depiction - here he is!#also lacking any other ideas I've decided that's his name now. my classical nahuatl is So So So Beginner but I'm Trying#(cipactli [caiman] + glottal stop + coatl [snake] + tzin [honorific suffix]...#...or cipactli [caiman] + ton [diminutive suffix you might use for a kid])#haven't come up with a personal name for five deer yet but what with naming other characters they'll interact with my abilities Do run out#so that can be a work in progress#pretty pleased with how this turned out especially cipachcoatzin's little obsidian mirror-ornaments#the background and color scheme is Heavily based on luis covarrubias' 'view of the valley of mexico'#but maybe I can manage some more urban settings for them or the other characters in future pictures
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DC x DP prompt #5
This is so dumb but Danny is Bruce's uncle.
And not in the Danny is old or whatever, no, my dude is 15 looks like he's 13 and when he was running away from home, he met this really really old lady which looked at him, looked at his wounds and went "aight I'm adopting u"
Danny thought she was a ghost and this was her obsession, so imagine his surprise when it turned out that not only this lady was alive, but also supposedly from very influential family??? Danny wasn't sure Abt that one, bc he himself never heard abt these "Waynes" like that just sounds weird, but hey. It made the lady happy so.
Anyway they part ways, bc the lady only wanted to adopt not care, and Danny decides, hey now that I have a new fam, maybe i should get to know them or something?
Well imagine his surprise when he found out some guy in his fifties is supposedly his nephew and has like bazillion kids.
Idk what happens next yada yada sheniganas happen and than Danny ends up in Gotham. And meets Bruce Wayne. Who obviously sees young child w si gns of abuse, black hair, blue eyes and is immidietly like "aight I'm adopting u" (like grandma like grandson huh)
Only this time, Danny is sure he isn't a ghost, and has a counter argument "u can't adopt me I'm ur uncle" and immidietly flees bc dealing w his problems isn't something he does.
Cue confused batfam or stuff idk, I'm so tired and this is just an excuse for crack
#they should maybe work out w Danny#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#crossover#dcxdp#dp x dc writing prompt#danny fenton#bruce wayne#the batkids think this is absolutely fucking hilarious just until he turns his eyes on them and starts agressively taking care of them#bruce theyre sorry they laighed can u pls tell ur uncle to stop grabbing them by their necks and carrying them around like kittens???#bruce does not see until danny does this to him#than it becomes something#danny is feral#also jason gets special treatment bc hes obviously sick and starved >:((( why arent u feeding him bruve >:((((((((#i feel like someone mentions joker killed jason ajd danny goes very still#the discussion stops for a moment before they all try and stop danny from beating joker to death (danny wouldnt kill.him just......#nah he totally would)#anyway personally i dont like children killing anyone bc its traumatizing so i think itd be pretty cool for jason to see this#bc like someone finally wants to kill the joker for him#but its 15 yo abused fetus and killing anyone wont help him get better#i might even argue itd make everything worse#and maybe hed kinda see stuff from bruces perspective?? tho the last few tags r just my personal stuff so feel free to ignore it lol#uncle danny >:)))
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Would love it if people stopped fandomising the war. Like person XYZ wouldn't have an opinion cause they are a fictional character.
People are dying. People are starving to death, dying from bombs and gun fire in a war that the majority of them did not want to start. This is not your blorbo fandom. These are real people.
I get that it's overwhelming and scary and horrifying but if it is too much for you, no one will blame you for logging out for a couple of days and just processing. Coping by forcing war into fandom spaces that people go to try and escape the horrors of real life is disgusting.
#jumblr#i keep seeing peope forcing aggressive anti israel to the point of demonising jews and israelis into fandom spaces#like just stop#if you arent able to talk about this situation like an adult then maybe you should just keep quiet and listen#stop drowning out the voices of those trying to move forward and save lives now and in the future#this war isnt a game#people are dying and you turning it into fandom is so demeaning and shitty
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I appreciate Hori trying over and over to emphasize that Endeavor doesn't want or deserve forgiveness but I also hate how Rei says that everyone in the family is at fault for the dysfunction and trauma. Like...no, your children were literal children and you were repeatedly abused and sexually assaulted by Endeavor to the point that you had a psychotic break. There's one person at fault and it's the man with a flame beard and giant tits.
#i like endeavor from a meta perspective but hes a horrible person and deserves to hate himself as much as he does.#and again its great the Hori has explicitly had Enji say he doesnt want or expect forgiveness from his family#and as infuriating as it is that hes sympathized with by a lot of readers and even other characters#if it IS intentional it's an interesting look at how abuse is viewed in Japan and other collectivist cultures#victims who dont react the right way are treated and viewed poorly while abusers who try to Move On are praised for doing the mature thing#maybe just moving on isnt always the right answer and should stop being pushed as the noble thing to do#.bnha#sloot bitches about things#i like endeavor as a character and for smut fodder but irl that man would NEED to be beaten to death with hammers/ poisoned with strychnine#like i get it. rei is their parent too but what the fuck was she supposed to do? stop her much stronger abusive husband? run away from a man#with considerable financial and other resources that could just find her or have her thrown in jail for *kidnapping* her own children?
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I think everyone needs to come together and congratulate DBK (and the rest of the Demon Bull family) for being the only ones to just give up. They DID quit while they were ahead. It's the only reason they're still alive.
#honestly they'd be dead like Spider Queen LBD (if she IS dead) and Azure Lion if they hadn't lol#LIKE. GIRL THEY SAVED THEMSELVES FROM THE NARRATIVE#HOW DID THEY DO THAT#The answer is they stopped trying to live past the end of their myth. They accepted the world as is.#And they run man. They run and after they failed a second time they just like#Went back to their house and stopped#which is really based of them.#Now they eat popsicles on the beach with Wukong and Co! Objectively better outcome#more antagonists should learn from them if they want to stay alive (yellowtusk) (maybe peng but I have a feeling no)#(peng out here with his ''The world could use a little chaos!'' bullshit. Okay. You said the c-word dude that's not good)#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk rant#imp tag
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there's somethin strange abt those boys......
god brother au sketches for funsies :]
#gonna stop promising that i'll like...... get back on this#BUT ILL UPDATE IT WHEN I UPDATE IT YKNOW#i do feel bad for bein like “oh im back on it!” and then just completely losin inspo#its just hard to present an au unless im doing a comic or something#maybe i should try writing out an ao3 fic or smth#God Brother AU#art#philip wittebane#the collector#the owl house#toh au#au
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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Franziska’s insistence on perfection is an attempt to live up to her father’s legacy despite that legacy being built on lies and ruining countless lives including that of the person Franziska loves most. Accepting that she is not and cannot be perfect is a major step in her development into not only a better person but a happier one. And despite all of this, every time she declares her own perfection my immediate impulse is to agree with her
#ace attorney#yes she kind of sucks especially at first. that’s the point#I wish the investigations games ever went into half the things they do to her#but then completely failing to engage with her emotions makes it an accurate miles edgeworth simulator#I get that you’re not in a great place yourself post jfa but come on#‘my father just got convicted of murder and probably executed and I don’t know how to be anything but what he made me#I will never be good enough for anyone else and I’m terrified the last person I care about will leave me behind too’#‘you should be scared and I will absolutely do that if you don’t redouble your efforts at this impossible goal. seeya’#I love Edgeworth and I get what he was trying to do but. come on#and then he does it in investigations 2! he told her that they would stay together as long as they were both prosecutors and then he stopped#and it wasn’t about her but maybe that’s worse#she uprooted her entire life and went to another country to try to send a message that she loved him#he couldn’t even keep doing the thing he had been doing for years#(yes this is a wildly selfish way of framing it. she’s literally 19)#all of this is to say: man.#franziska von karma#she’s so pretty but at what cost
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.
#people are gonna be big mad when I say this so I’m hiding it in tags#lmao if you’re still a Ziam I love you I respect you and just… stop reading now lol for your health okay?#or unfollow and block me whatever just… CURATE YOUR EXPERIENCE IS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY#but the DIFFERENCE between how Zayn talks about his daughter#versus…. well I mean do I even have to say it lmao#I’m watching the Zach Sang interview and it is freaking WILD#W I L D#and I just think people should maybe use critical thinking skills and wonder why that is#and! and! Zayn and Gigi have done a fabulous job drawing boundaries about what they will and won’t share#so don’t come at me with oh but Louis needs to be private#or some of that nonsense#because at no point does Zayn say things that really cross that line?#he just…. he talks like an actual dad#and I’m sorry I know no one cares and we’re in this and it doesn’t matter#but the difference - if someone actually cared to look and listen?#the difference is astonishing in my opinion#anyway#ignore this lol
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