#maybe bcs i ate it in the morning
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#aauugh here i am with more stuff of them somehow#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#fanart#i just tried the rice+fish in a cup#i underestimate its portion bcs it looks smol but somehow i felt full halfway#maybe bcs i ate it in the morning#it last me from 11 AM to 4 PM with some biscuits to refresh the palate#anyhow thinking sebek would call it cat food made me thought of a come back#that duck cat thing is just forever entertaining#anyhow the video link on the first x might be loud just a notice#yuu is just eating what she could get her hands on#ha ha sebek tummy growling on l ilia's party tho#and him stuffing his cheeks and swallows it before coming back to s ilver leaving to search for m alleus
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Was just thinking how fun and cute itd be to keep a small tank with brine shrimp and triops in it before googling and finding out triops eat shrimp LMAO
#never impulse buy animal kids or you may end up with half the pets you thought you’d have#that would’ve been SO funny tho bc the second those tripos hatched I would’ve woken up that morning to 0 shrimp out of nowhere LMAO#i do rly wanna keep a small tank with shrimp and maybe some other kind of isopod like creature that doesn’t eat shrimp#it’d be cool if it ate moss like brine shrimp do so I could have it be like a vivarium#idk if vivariums the right word but yknow the moss grows In and the creatures eat it and the moss eats the animal waste etc#sassy speaks
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guys i have a question does a mini bar turn off if you take your key out of the slot in your hotel room
#i stored my groceries for this weekend in it#i had protein yoghurts i just ate one and idk if it's bc i'm overthinking it or if something is actually wrong#but maybe it turns off and my yoghurt wasn't good anymore#it's soy so it can still go bad right ??????#in other news i forgot my hotel key in my room this morning lol
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today was actually so awful i hate everything,,,,,,
#so last night i had an emotional b!ngl bc i was upset about my pet#so i paid the price this morning bc i v0mited three times bc my body could not handle that much food n i needed to get that shit out#i don’t even p*the that was just my body’s natural response lol#and bc i had to take my pet to the vet to see if there’s literally anything we could do to help him#i wasn’t able to eat or drink anything so i finally made some miso soup n ate a bun bc that’s was the first piece of bread i could find lol#that was like 3hrs ago maybe n now i’m picking on some freeze dried bananas#but the flavor is literally so concentrated bc of the freeze drying i can only eat a few#oh and the vet has no idea what’s wrong with him and bc he’s a small animal it’s really hard to check to see if somethings wrong#like they can’t even do bloodwork bc his veins are so hard to find bc of how tiny he is#but hes literally lost so much weight n idk why idk what happened it was so sudden i can feel all his bones :(((((#they said there’s no real way of knowing what could’ve happened or caused this but the gave us antibiotics to try but i’m not very hopeful#she said it could be organ failure bc she said his kidneys felt very small and he was dehydrated#but that’s not a diagnosis bc there’s no way of confirming if that’s what’s wrong#she suggested we think about saying goodbye to him….#it fucking hurts so bad man bc he’s always been such a sweet n cuddly boy n he doesn’t deserve to suffer like this#he’s so weak n i’m trying my best to help him by giving him all his fav treats n feeding him critical care n giving him medicine#but it just doesn’t seem to be enough#i hate it man i really do i hate seeing him like this bc ik he must be suffering n i feel so helpless bc there’s nothing more that i can do#n i think his cage mate knows somethings up too bc he’s been very attentive to him recently n he’s been grooming n cuddling with him#and that breaks my heart even more bc he’s gonna be alone soon n he won’t know where his friend went#god i hate it so much#anyway now i’m crying again so that’s cool major slay ahahahaha
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Did end up getting money from The Boss and so I'm getting delivery. Hellllll yes
#speculation nation#i waited until i was hungry again bc i already ate smth this morning#i DID place the order for store things. so hopefully what im doing isnt too obvious lol#gonna have a nice treat of food stuffs and then. maybe Then. i can get myself to write.
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my cat is sick again
#the vet said to come in tomorrow as long as it doesnt get worse during the night#i cant bear that happening#having to go to emergency vets again bc they cost so much and didnt even diagnose him correctly last time#across multiple visits#pretty sure he ate something but idk what#most likely a plant#we dont have any immediately toxic plants in the house#but if he ate a lot...#or maybe it's the xmas tree?#or it could be some random substance he found on the ground and ate#he was fine this morning
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PEOPLE ARE SO INTERESTING
#🌙.rambles#hi 2 am rambles but tonight i am loving life#dear diary (lol) i am tired n i have lost a lot of energy after this very good day n i will sleep soon#bro idk what i'm writing rn i just ate a cookie n thought about people#cookie.... i am so full rn it's a big cookie 😭😭 it's so delicious though. i really want to learn how to bake someday#but i wonder. i was wondering how you all perceive me here#bcs looking at a mix of who i am in discord. tumblr. twitter. spotify. all those have differences imo#discord you'd see the way i text with others? the things i share. the things i send. the words i say#personally for me reflecting on the things i often say to ppl n it serves as a reaffirmation honestly that i genuinely am kind at heart#i love telling others kind things. that makes me happy. saying good morning n good night n take care n sleep well n rest well#i just find it so interesting. everything. i think about so much things in life on a daily basis#and if anyone were to really. reach close enough to the deepest parts of me#there's a lot of pain definitely but i think someone would see a girl filled with so much love for life#i'm getting off-topic but god i am constantly so confused n lost but i still am strong. i'm proud of who i am. of my mindset#i love who i am. i love the things i desire. and the way i work towards my goals#and not just me. for everyone else. i'm gna cry#i already am 🥹 it often hurts bcs i'm really so. i feel very deeply#so when i. when i struggle n feel so alone it hurts me so much because at times it gets so hard to break out of that even tho i know better#there's so much to love about life but there's so little time too#maybe in my head i can be a little too idealistic at times but. at the same time i know i've gone through so much pain already#that feeling of betrayal. of being forgotten. left behind. god i'm crying even more remembering about all those nights#so. as long as i hold unto myself. unto everything i have ever loved. that will spur me onwards. that i may forge ahead unto tomorrow#the same things i analyze of myself like. the things i said at first here. i think of everyone else as well#how would it be like to live life through your own eyes? with your thoughts and experiences and emotions?#you see. there's really so much to life. and that's what i always remember when i feel like dying#like genuinely i have. felt so. down and sad that i have thought about it. wishing i could just. but i don't want. anyone to worry#my love for the people in my life kept me going when i hated myself so much#god n i. i'm crying so much wait. that's why i want to give so much kindness to others too#i'm crying. i love the night so much bcs i love being open and authentic like this so much but most of the time i get afraid honestly
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#goooood#its only 12:40 but i feel like im going to collapse#im so tireddd ughh god#and i slept like 8 hours last night wtf#time to shove more pills down my throath lmao 🙃#ill get a coffee at some point but if i do that now im just gonna be worse some hours later#......maybe i didnt take my meds this morning actually??? but i feel like i did#last time i was so tired at this hour was bc i forgot them#....did i just look at how many pills there were without taking them tf#i also actually ate last night more than usual and even had something for breakfast which i never do so. whats up#love how at first i was scared of seizures but now i pop 2 of these a day barely hours apart and im like. fuck it lmaoo#kinda addictive but also. these things have made me not exhausted 24/7 for the first time in literal years its insane#wait maybe i didnt take them. bc im hungry?? i can't feel hunger when i take them#i feel like that's a pretty good sign i havent felt even 2% hunger no matter how little ive eaten these weeks
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I would like to thank LHR for not having any working charging ports in terminal 5, truly the best airport in the world, no other airport can compare.
#I have been here since 10 in the morning#and I have only slept 2 hours in 2 days#bc I am awful at sleeping on flights#I was also asleep!! (which is what I wanted XD)#but then I got woken up for dinner (which I am very thankful for don't get me wrong)#it was pretty good airline ravioli in marinara sauce with a ring box of salad (about the same size and shape of an engagement ring box)#Anyway then I watched a movie while eating dinner (The Bad Guys) it was fun#and then spent the rest of the flight trying to sleep XD I did rest in that I layed motionless with my eyes closed but no sleep for me rip#Even the fact I got sleep at all js good bc Like I said unless I'm falling asleep standing up I almost never fall asleep on planes#anyway I couldn't even leave the airport bc I did not want to bother with queen funeral traffic and everything being closed#also tbh I've already been to London and done a lot of the main touristy things so eh#also may I just sat the entire airport going deathly perfectly silent for 2 minutes to honor the queen was eerie as fuck#i just have bad timing when I go to London I guess bc the last time was the royal wedding (most recent) and that was a pain and this time#it's the funeral#RIP ME#Anyway been in LHR terminal 5 since 10:00 it's 6:38 now and I've just consumed and energy drink#it's also really fucking cold? but thats a combo of the weather - the fact I ate lunch 6 hours ago-the energy dring being refrigerated#and the weather#luckily I have my second warmest coat on and it's awesome If I didn't have that I'd be fucked#time to consume some warm stuff Maybe#also none of the charging ports work at all (I have an adapter and everything) so I'm supper glad I brought my battery pack that I can use#to charge my phone that has my boarding pass on it#I have a printed one for my flight but I got it this morning/yesterday morning)
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yongseung fact of the day! he accidentally went one bus stop ahead of where he was supposed to get off, and had to walk to his shop. it was so hot he thought to himself ‘i’ll have to fend off this heat with bingsu!’ and then he got to the shop and it was nice and refreshing and cool. ‘i’ll fight off the heat w bingsu another day’ was his conclusion
#he actually uses the word for 'scold' like scold the heat with bingsu but ?? that does not translate well into english at all#it was cute bc he sent the bubble messages and then clarified later in vlive#also! another fun fact of the day he said he had a good voice lesson! like something in him /awakened/#i say this everytime kudos to translators i cant do this dlkfj lhow to preserve meaning dlkjflk anyways#and then he sent a bubble emoji of his fav character kreamy and was like its just like that!#so cute i love him hes so cute#maybe i'll do yongseung fact of day when theres no good ys mornings#bc i miss him on those days even tho he lit had an hr + vlive today ldkjflkdSDF#oh he is also a crust anti :O surprisingly#he ate the entire pizza minus crust#not that im crust fan either but i dont like throwing out food so dlkjLSKD its actually usually the first thing i eat#unless the pizzas a couple of days old and the crust is actually inedible#but yeah the crust is usually fine enough when warm#and it can taste good w any sauce too its basically a bread roll like that so :) not bad#it just is so hard when warm/cold#rambles
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all during my walk i was like "mayb i could offer my Entire halloween candy stash 2 my nana 4 a 'favor coupon', aka like her buying me smth 15$ or less another day. then w the candy bags in her room, i cant eat any candy bc 1. the candy would b Hers n 2. i h8 going in2 her room n shes in there all the time so i cant sneak any. Perfect!" but i was 2 awkward 2 try n propose the idea 2 her bc i thought she might say no or think of me as scummy 4 even proposing it bc im 99% sure she helped my dad pay 4 my doctor visit the other day >_< 😔
#i overate by a Lot 2day bc i ate in the morning (bc i had 2 gif the trailer) when i tend 2 skip breakfast... gah... gahhhhhhhhh#the trash already ran this morning but. mayb ill jus still try n throw away all my candy but like... try n cover it up in the trash bag so#no1 notices all of it in there..#delete later
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tomorrow could either be really fucked or really nice and i’m truly not sure which it will be but let’s hope for the latter
#i’ve got a weird work schedule in the morning & then there’s nothing in the afternoon/evening BUT i cant go back 2 my flat#bc my roommate’s going to have her boyfriend over#so i need to stay out and about which is fine bc it’s better for me to be out of the flat for a good chunk of day ANYWAY but#it’s less fun when u Have to be……. but that’s ok <3 love and light#idk if i’m going to go to this gym class tonight i def could but also i was at a boxing class this morning & i’m kind of exhausted#but i didnt have boxing on monday so maybe i will ? & it#is always good to have smth to do but i have other things i could#do ……. augh . idk . decisions decisions decisions#i felt like shit b4 and then i ate and i do feel much better which is nice#i still am not like. 100% but things could be worse!#anyway i’m reading captain corelli’s mandolin @ the recommendation of a friend and it is v good would def recommend
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Fuck i took some painkillers and took a giant nap but I still feel like shit why is my body like this
#ough#im hungry bc i only ate breakfast today and it was hours ago#but i dont feel well enough to go make myself food#and im literally having frozen pizza today#i mean like there's not much i have to do but its still a bit overwhelming#idk whats wrong with me#i also kinda want to get myself a snack for later but. my body doesnt wanna be upwards#my body doesnt wanna be. in general#also my hair is nasty and its too hot to wear a hat lmao#also i did consider that maybe its because of the sun and heat that i feel so bad but its not been that hot the last few days#i know im not drinking enough water but i am drinking a lot of other things#i know juice or soda or energy drink isnt the best at hydration but yknow at least its something#idk#i feel like shit#my muscles and bones just dont wanna work today#and in the morning i was both hungry and very nauseous so eating breakfast was pretty difficult#ghhghhhhhhh#im gonna try and go out i want a silly little snack#bee buzz
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I feel terrible today
#went to bed too late last night and then didn't sleep bc I couldn't#just feel sick and hurting and it kept me up#so now I'm tired and sick#and I didn't run today bc I feel too bad but not running also makes me feel bad. or at least running makes me feel good#if I feel better in a few hours maybe I can go then but usually I go in the morning#either way I'll still lift but it probably won't go well#idk. hopefully I can start feeling better and I can get a good run tomorrow morning#idk why I feel like this. it's not the worst ever but it's bad#I just don't feel right at all#I ate a little bit and it was fine but I didn't feel like eating#which wasn't for ed reasons mostly. partially bc I didn't run so I don't feel like I should eat without exercising#but I also just don't have an appetite. which is weird bc I think I'm starting to feel hungry rn??? idk I don't get normal hunger signals#I haven't felt normal hunger in years which is crazy actually. but I'm either hungry or maybe my stomach is just doing something rn#maybe I should try taking a lil nap since I haven't slept#Sera
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oh yea i was also so late in leaving for my lab today that there was NO way i'd be biking in time. but i managed to catch the bus bc there was a spot for my bike so i got there on time after all <3
#speculation nation#highlight being that someone else with a bike was also catching the bus at my stop#and as i was trying to get my grip to lift my bike up this dude started putting his bike up#but like. in the front spot (since i was standing closer to the bus & gearing up to put mine on the inner spot)#and the driver legit honked at him & yelled like 'dont put your bike up before theirs! how are they supposed to get it on?!'#& the dude was properly chastised lmfao. & i just plopped my bike on up there.#i have a lot of anxiety about taking the bus with my bike bc of like. if it'll have room in the first place being a big one#but also im allergic to inconveniencing people. so me taking extra time to put my bike up and then to take it down when im getting off#it's Awful. i hate it. so i avoid riding the bus with my bike if i can help it.#but this time went pretty well actually. makes me feel maybe a Little less anxious about possibly doing it again.#i still dont wanna rely on it if i can help it bc if there r already two bikes on there then im FUCKED#but in an emergency. where im gonna be late Anyways. it's tolerable.#like lmao i usually am passed by the bus about halfway thru my biking commute to class.#but i was passing the stop right as the bus was coming up so i was like 'Whelp guess im doing this today'#the reason being. i was gaming in the morning as i ate breakfast and lost track of time a bit lsdkjflsdjf Whoops
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I'm back from my house/pet sitting job and omfg it's so fucking hot outside
Coming back, I went to pick up lunch for me and my mom and I was suffering the whole time 😩
#personal#just took a cold shower and ate my food so I'm feeling better but holy shit#i spent the morning taking care of my sister's dogs and cleaning up from my 3 days there and than i hung out with her for a bit#so I'm gonna relax for an hour maybe take a nap before i get to work on some things but man I'm so tired JUST BC IT'S SO HOT UGH#like the heat sapped all my energy
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