Tumgik
#bcs looking at a mix of who i am in discord. tumblr. twitter. spotify. all those have differences imo
noxtivagus · 2 years
Text
PEOPLE ARE SO INTERESTING
#🌙.rambles#hi 2 am rambles but tonight i am loving life#dear diary (lol) i am tired n i have lost a lot of energy after this very good day n i will sleep soon#bro idk what i'm writing rn i just ate a cookie n thought about people#cookie.... i am so full rn it's a big cookie 😭😭 it's so delicious though. i really want to learn how to bake someday#but i wonder. i was wondering how you all perceive me here#bcs looking at a mix of who i am in discord. tumblr. twitter. spotify. all those have differences imo#discord you'd see the way i text with others? the things i share. the things i send. the words i say#personally for me reflecting on the things i often say to ppl n it serves as a reaffirmation honestly that i genuinely am kind at heart#i love telling others kind things. that makes me happy. saying good morning n good night n take care n sleep well n rest well#i just find it so interesting. everything. i think about so much things in life on a daily basis#and if anyone were to really. reach close enough to the deepest parts of me#there's a lot of pain definitely but i think someone would see a girl filled with so much love for life#i'm getting off-topic but god i am constantly so confused n lost but i still am strong. i'm proud of who i am. of my mindset#i love who i am. i love the things i desire. and the way i work towards my goals#and not just me. for everyone else. i'm gna cry#i already am 🥹 it often hurts bcs i'm really so. i feel very deeply#so when i. when i struggle n feel so alone it hurts me so much because at times it gets so hard to break out of that even tho i know better#there's so much to love about life but there's so little time too#maybe in my head i can be a little too idealistic at times but. at the same time i know i've gone through so much pain already#that feeling of betrayal. of being forgotten. left behind. god i'm crying even more remembering about all those nights#so. as long as i hold unto myself. unto everything i have ever loved. that will spur me onwards. that i may forge ahead unto tomorrow#the same things i analyze of myself like. the things i said at first here. i think of everyone else as well#how would it be like to live life through your own eyes? with your thoughts and experiences and emotions?#you see. there's really so much to life. and that's what i always remember when i feel like dying#like genuinely i have. felt so. down and sad that i have thought about it. wishing i could just. but i don't want. anyone to worry#my love for the people in my life kept me going when i hated myself so much#god n i. i'm crying so much wait. that's why i want to give so much kindness to others too#i'm crying. i love the night so much bcs i love being open and authentic like this so much but most of the time i get afraid honestly
3 notes · View notes