A brawl is surely brewing!!

~~~~~~~~~~

we back at it again with another doodle folks! hopefully this is a sign my art block is dying and my skills haven’t left me yet lol

February 10, 2023

UM.  GOOD NEWS KINDA?  NOT THE BEST NEWS EVER BUT STILL MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY?

First, the update on my Choice B was not at all what I was expecting it to be.  Not gonna say what it was necessarily bc it’s a lil gossipy uhm and also it’s not influencing the decision I made about that school a week ago.

Second, got the official acceptance from my Choice A (bottom choice/“safety”) which means I can officially reject their offer but like,,,,, that makes me feel kinda mean.  I don’t know for sure where I’m going but I know it ain’t gon be there.  Part of me wants to reject them right away, rip the band-aid off, so to speak, but idk another part of me wants to also write a lil note to the potential advisor being like “hey I appreciate your time and consideration but... idk but after assessing this offer it’s not for me” or something.  Something a little less impersonal than a rejection of their acceptance (which they may already see coming.. idk).

Third, the good news (kinda).  Had that chat with the potential advisor at my Choice E (that crazy good school that literally checks almost all of my boxes, more than any other program (but bc it’s so good I figured it was kind of a long shot for multiple reasons (as a result my parents and I decided early on that we would not tell my grandparents that I was even applying because it’s the only name they’d recognize instantly and they’d never let me live it down.  To my grandparents, I applied to six schools, not seven, and they will only learn of the seventh (Choice E) if I’m accepted and choose to go lol))) and... I mean he starts off the meeting by telling me that I’m his top candidate and that he really wants me to come work with him, and while acceptances have not yet been finalized, he’s fightin for me.  For me.  He said he’d read over my app multiple times (for all of January I felt like there were so many ways I could’ve improved it ha) and besides being impressed by the accomplishments (which to me seemed maybe only just slightly above average? an REU, a national conference poster, a few scattered research experiences, but no real publications, no research with matching methods, no senior thesis, no awards (partly bc I’ve gone all my life being nominated for awards without me doing anything, but at my giant school you have to nominate yourself for any and everything and ain’t nobody got time for that)), he said he really connected with my story.  And then he just sort of talks for an hour in a clear effort to both sell the program to me but also to show how proud he is of it and why he thinks it would be a good fit for me and my guy probably could’ve gone on for another half hour but I had another meeting immediately after and then he sent me a followup email asking if I’d be down to keep chatting.  And of course I say yes bc why not.  I feel desired by one of the top institutions in the world and the guy who I would be working with seems so down-to-earth and humble despite his position and wants to work and learn with me.  Forget about my Choice B, Choice E is The Place to Be.

And I know.  I am so thankful to be in a position where I already have multiple good offers in case this one doesn’t work out.  I know even making it to the final round is a huge accomplishment.  I know that there’s a possibility I may not get past this stage for reasons outside of my control.  I understand all of that and have tried to minimize my emotional investment, just in case.  But after today?  I definitely do feel even just a little bit more invested.  I’m so close.  This is not what I expected from that meeting at all.  Neither of today’s meetings went as expected.

Today I’m thankful for academic validation lol.  I’m thankful that I got to hang out with my photo-friend this evening.  Thankful for the really good comedy show we got to see tonight.  Literally the best comedy I’ve seen at this school since freshman year (maybe my photo-friend is a good luck charm for good comedy, because freshman year was the last time we went to see a comedy show together and I haven’t been satisfied by a comedy show since).  Thankful for women of color who look out for each other.

[edit, next morning: oh and apparently the guy who I had the weird interview with last week wrote a “glowing review” about our chat, so uh there’s that]

[edit 2, next evening: apparently I was supposed to have two interviews from Choice E, and the second person emailed me on a literal saturday morning but it’s not like I do anything particularly special on saturdays so I met with her a few hours after and it went well!  better than the other one lol (I think I just got antisocial academic vibes from that guy).  learned quite a bit about the program, so if I get in I feel like I’d just need to reach out to grad students to get the full picture.  Also btw I’m still runnin on a bit of a high from yesterday’s revelations :D  The urge to do a conciliatory Depop spree has subsided and in its place has quickly risen the urge to do a congratulatory Depop spree (which, tbh, getting a bunch of offers in a week deserves a bit more celebratory hoopla, I think.)]

[edit 3, an hour or so after edit 2: (at this point I should’ve just made a whole nother post for 2/11 but eh) I don’t really consider myself a person who thirsts after celebrities, I don’t watch fancams, uh, but The dvcree Pedro Pascal Edit is really well done and I kinda do love how it’s invaded my side of tiktok.  Haven’t seen The Mandalorian (not a Star Wars person), haven’t yet started The Last of Us (will in a few weeks I think), but I have seen Kingsmen 2 (and 1) and it was enjoyable (1 was really good).  k I’m done with this post I promise (also these “edits” fully could’ve been reblogs, but)]

Have you ever been in a fight with a SOLDIER who's not Cloud then? Because that meeting seemed like a regular thing for you

I mean

You DO realize I been a Turk like, forever right? We're talkin' decades. I'm OG, yo. 'Veteran,' they call me now. (Mostly that just means I'm one of the only OG crew who actually managed to stay alive this long but. yeah). I been a Turk since I was a dumbfuck teenage broshit kid.

...And so yeah, maybe I'm still kinda some of those things but like THE POINT OK IS

Yeah I fought a lotta SOLDIERS in my day. We train with SOLDIERS, dude. I fought Zacky boy and even one of the generals once upon a time. TOTALLY WON BOTH FIGHTS YUP that's my story an' I'm stickin' to it. But like, SOLDIERS and the Turks, we're on the same fuckin' side. Yeah, REMEMBER THAT? We train together 'cause we fight for the same damn company cause.

Just sayin' Cloud wasn't even SOLIDER when our shit went down. Fought him tons (bitchass cheated or I woulda won every time NO LIE). But that guy I was fightin' all that time was a terrorist merc. Not SOLDIER. Cloud was ex-SOLDIER (and a fuckin' liar about it anyway but I an't gettin'g into that hot mess).

So idk maybe this is just me but

I think maybe you ain't askin' about SOLDIER at all. If you wanna ask about me fightin' Cloud or even me gettin' my ass kicked repeatedly, just fuckin' ask, yo. But don't ever forget who I am, who I work for, and WHOSE SIDE fuckin' SOLDIER BOYS are really on.

Hashtag: MINE.

I’ve been lurking around your blog trying to find all the Cinderella posts, but it’s been difficult bc I’m on mobile and for some reason I can’t see “common tags” on ANY blog when you click the “search in blog” function, so I don’t even know if the Cinderella story HAS a tag but. I just wanna talk about how much I love it for a second?

Your narration style genuinely feels like YOU are the narrator, and we’re sitting in the lounge or study of a lovely cabin mansion in the woods and I’m a fourteen year old who’s begged a story off of my favorite older cousin, who’s fun and doesn’t give a shit and cares more about the story than the Way they’re telling it. It makes it more fun and casual and I think it harkens more to the way oral fairy tales would’ve been told back when they were more often oral rather than written. And in the same vein you reflect modern times in how you tell it, along with the humour while (as another ask pointed out) retaining the feel and time of the story. It’s actually facinating and makes it SO MUCH fun to read.

And I love the takes you have on the story that make the characters both recognisable but also unique and different enough to be interesting, and also fills in a lot of plot holes people lovingly look over in the og stories. And also how you characterised the fairy godmother is so amazing sjdbdjdbd like she’s normally matronly, motherly, and mature and wise and dignified and this is more like “you’re the “loser” main character in an early 2010’s disney channel movie and you dress in soft colours and you’re sweet and your best friend is the emo/goth loner with a weird sense of humor, ripped shirts and lots of eyeliner whos rly only here for the people and it’s SO FUN. I love the vibe of her. It’s so different

In the vein of fairy tales using children as currency, I would happily give my first born child for you to continue this series, or if you’ve already started doing that, directing me to a tag or master post where I can read more. (I read the intro and the two parts linked on it. Idk If there’s more? Looking is Very Hard on mobile >:| ) thank you so mcu for writing

Oh gosh! This was so flattering to read! I mostly just tag it under Cinderella, I didn't really think to call it something like I had the "Fightin' Daphne AU" a couple years back... "Cool Rat Girl Cindy," maybe?

The Fairy Godmother as the Quirky Alt/Goth Best Friend in a Disney Channel Original movie... oh my god... I can see it.

Honestly what inspired my take on the Fairy Godmother was a Blindboy podcast I heard a couple years back where they had an Irish folklorist on the show, and at one point the folklorist says, "You know, honestly, I feel like leaving gifts for the fairies is like paying protection money to the mafia" and that kind of stuck with me. I'm Irish on my mom's side so I'm very into the concept of "Do Not Under Any Circumstances Fuck With The Good People Under the Hills" so I thought it would be fun to have a fairy godmother who's like, a fairy godmother, but I also like scrappy characters so the concept of a Fairy Godmother who's kind of flying by the seat of her pants was appealing as well. I think like... one of the thing that makes Cinderella a hard tale for people to get through--certainly what makes it a hard tale for me to get through--is how you get so pissed off at how Cinderella is treated, the injustice of it all. Like in a lot of film adaptations, stretching it out often leaves you with like... 75% of the movie being Cinderella being treated like shit. I kind of liked the idea of the Fairy Godmother kind of having all that anger and spite that we, the audience, have on Cinderella's behalf. And there was also this one post about people on the east coast being "Kind but not nice" and I really loved that concept so that went into my Fairy Godmother as well.

The Puppet Theory

When i was watching the credits in Deltarune chapter 2, I noticed that in the song "Until next time" in minute 0:33, the word "Puppet" is said in the background, so mixed with all the other sound effects that i think that many people have missed it, so i wanted to make my own theory about this to let know to all the people that may have missed this. (Oh, and i want to say that im spanish so if there is a grammatical error, please forgive me)

In Deltarune chapter two, we can see the subject of being a puppet in three different characters: Spamton, Kris and Noelle.

First, I want to talk about Spamton. As is seen in his design, he is literally a puppet, but he was treated as a puppet as well by the mysterious man in the phone (Who is this man is a talk for another day, but is probably Gaster). When he is beaten by Kris, Ralsei and Susie in the pacifist run, there is a dialogue between the heroes that shows that Kris is quite disturbed about what had happened and that he was also yelling. This reaction is very interesting and surprising because Kris is such a silent character, but I think that this reaction could make total sense because in the end of chapter 2, Kris rips out his heart again and open what appears to be a new fountain, which is something that i believe that Kris wouldn´t want to do by himself. This shows that there are two forces fightin in what we call Kris (Which i think they are: Kris as the vessel and we, the palyers, as the soul. Because in the end of chapter one, when Kris rips out his heart, we can literrally move as the soul). So, I think that Kris himself knows about that he is being controlled by something or someone and beacause he sees himself reflected in the story of Spamton, seeing his fall produces in him a fear that the fate of Spamton might be his ending as well one day, because they are both puppets.

Now, other interesting point here is Noelle in the Snowgrave route. In the progress of this route we are constantly manipulating her, making her freeze all the enemies in our path. Even Spamton is concerned about it.

The point here is that in the snowgrave route the 3 more important characters are Spamton, Kris and Noelle, just the ones i said that represent the subject of being a puppet.

Now this is the important part. Why is puppet said in the song? Maybe it was a hint given to the players so they could find snowgrave route because the route is about making noelle our puppet, or maybe it is refering to Kris who has shown that he is most likely being controlled by “The knight”. Anyway, It´s a matter of interpretation, we don´t have enough information to make a valid claim about what is the reason behind that words in the song. Personally, i think it´s the second option but we will see.

If you have something you want to share about this theory, please say it in the comments below. Maybe i would make more theories in the future but idk, just consider following. That´s all.

Until next time.

The Way I Loved You

hey there! i wrote this on Friday, but i heard the song “The Way I Loved You” for the first time on Thursday and immediately thought of jolex. When i listen to this song the on Friday after the whole jo and jackson thing i knew that i HAD to use this song. idk if anyone has used this song already, but i hope not lol. this is pretty short but i wrote it really quickly lol. and i just realized that @odd-birds-and-booksellers has a similar thing with a photograph in one of her stories, so i’m sorry about that, it was an accident.  

on a side note... happy bday to me hehe. i wanted to post a fluffy one-shot, but i’m too lazy to finish writing it. 

~*~

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it's like

I couldn't ask for anything better

In everybody's eyes, Jackson Avery seemed like the perfect guy, especially for her. He was funny, smart, caring, and handsome as hell. He was pretty perfect, there was no way she could deny that. He told her she was beautiful, how brilliant she was, and he held her and whispered sweet nothings in her ear in the morning while the sun cast gentle glows on them through the window. 

 He always somehow knew the right thing to say, but it wasn’t always what she wanted to hear. Sometimes she didn’t want to hear she was amazing and she had no reason to be worried. Sometimes she just wanted to hear ‘shut up, get over it’ followed by an I love you and a quick peck on the lips.

 He was every girl’s dream; he just wasn’t hers. No matter how much she liked him or wished he was, he wasn’t. 

 He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says, you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine   

 He was such a gentleman. He complimented her, showed her off proudly to his richy-rich family, but not like a prize. He was proud to call her his girlfriend. He drank in the sight of her in tight dresses and boring scrubs like she was the last glass of water on a scalding hot day. 

He never makes her feel second best. 

He was falling, but she was still on ground, content with how she was. She wasn’t soaring in the clouds like she had been once before. She was at peace with standing on the concrete streets below her feet. 

But I miss screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

You're so in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you 

 She misses the rush. The rush of fighting. The rush of getting so mad at someone that you wanted to just punch them, but kiss them all at the same time. 

She misses him getting agitated over stupid things. She misses seeing the lust in his eyes when he was mad at her. She misses the angry sex. She misses feeling the thousands of emotions flowing through her body when they kissed, even if it was just a simple brush of the lips. 

She misses him acting crazy over a cut she got on her knee when she tripped, or when she complained about accidentally slicing her finger when she attempted to use a knife. He always hated to see her hurt. 

 How ironic, considering he was the one who hurt her the most.  

 Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you 

 She misses how they could just yell at each other. For hours, days. They could yell at each other about their crappy surgeries or patients that deserved better than the cards they were dealt. They could take out their anger on each other, trusting that it wouldn’t affect them. And it didn’t. 

She misses the way he looked at her like she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, unable to grasp that fact that she was his. She misses that crooked smile that seemed to brighten her day, no matter how bad it previously was. 

She misses how she could go from wanting to yell at him to holding him in a matter of seconds. She misses feeling like she had no control over herself whenever she was around him. 

She misses him and the way he made her feel. 

 He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother

Talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable 

 When she asks for time alone, he doesn’t push her. When she is feeling down, on the brink of another episode, he lets her lay in bed and doesn’t bother her. And if she wanted him to get pizza in the middle of the night, he’s ordering it before she even needs to ask twice. 

He never left her on read or ignored her voicemails. She never needed to call or text him twice for an answer about their upcoming date. 

She liked being with him. She felt safe, knowing that he wouldn’t hurt her. She liked knowing that somebody loved her, even if she was currently only capable of saying she liked him a great deal. 

 But I miss screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

You're so in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you 

 She misses how in the middle of arguments he would pull her into a searing kiss, pouring all of his emotion into it. She could feel them best then, his emotions. She could tell by the way his kisses were needy and frantic as he pressed his lips to her neck, sometimes biting just a little too hard on her sweet spot, a bit of both pleasure and pain. 

She misses seeing the look on his face when he would catch guys at the bar staring at her, trying to deny that he was jealous.

She even misses how insane he acted sometimes, whether it be making animal noises at couples going at it, or how he beat up DeLuca when he thought the man was taking advantage of her.

She misses being able to look at him and everything seemed alright, that even though people were dying and the world was heating up, as long as she had him, she felt okay.

 Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you  

 Jackson doesn’t like to argue much. He doesn’t really yell. He’s good at expressing his emotions and talking about them. He doesn’t bury them like her, but at times she wishes that he did. 

She wishes he knew what it was like to have all these feelings build up inside until they break, shattering everything you worked towards. 

But he makes it better. He helped her talk and now it’s easier. She doesn't feel the need to combust with anger. 

 Sometimes, but not all the time. 

He can't see the smile I'm fakin'

And my heart's not breakin'

'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all

 When she’s at Meredith’s she is happy. It had been a while since he had left, more than a year actually. And she was getting to be fully okay. She still smiled, but it wasn’t the full-blown grin that could once light up an entire room. She’s back to laughing more now, but it’s not the same one that would come out when he said something stupid and she was belly-laughing as tears streamed down her face. But she could easily say that she was okay. She was doing well. She was happy.  

It was when she wandered into the hallway and started randomly opening drawers, looking for a pen to write down an idea she had that she came across a photo Meredith has shoved in her drawers. It was of him. His son was on his left knee, while Izzie sat next to him, their daughter on her right knee. They were smiling, his looking awkward because he tried to smile straight and not crooked, but he was smiling nonetheless. It looks to be a selfie of some sort, the woman holding the camera flashing a dazzling smile. 

They look so happy. She's glad that he’s happy, but she’s jealous. She hadn’t smiled that wide in a long time. 

When she heads back down the stairs she plasters on a smile, knowing that nobody would be able to see through it. She didn’t really feel anything, all she really felt was numb.  

It’s selfish, but she wishes she was the one in the photo instead of the blonde.

 And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated

Got away by some mistake and now

 He drove her crazy. She wanted to smack him upside every second of the day. He made her mad and he hurt her, but at the same time she was only able to see him as perfect. He was so screwed up, but it fit so perfectly alongside her. His crazy fit her crazy. 

He always drove her mad. But she could never get enough of him. She could never get enough of the feeling of his skin on hers, the taste of his lips, the smell of his clothes, she never got tired of hearing his voice and the sound of his laugh. It was like she was constantly high on him. 

If only he had talked to her, maybe things wouldn’t be this way. 

 I'll be screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you  

 She wants to fight with him one more time. It’s been a long time since he left. Over two years. And she’s loved again. The perfect man loves her, and she can truthfully and whole-heartedly say that she loves him. He took her broken heart and pieced it back together. But the wounds were still there.  

But she wants to fight with him again. She wants one more chance to call him a stupid moron. She wants to be arguing with him late into the night about who’s a better character on that latest TV show they were binging. 

She wants to shove him like she did before the storm, finding some way to exert her anger. 

She wants him to pull her into a supply closet while the rain pounds on the window as he tells her that he loves her, kissing her with a passion she had never experienced before.

 Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you  

 She remembers what it was like to love him so much it was like she couldn’t breathe. That he was the oxygen she desperately needed to survive. She remembers what it was like, the fear, the longing, the need. It was all there. 

She never knew then how much this man would affect her. 

She never knew that feeling all of those things was possible.

 And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you  

 Jackson Avery was perfect, and she loved Jackson Avery. 

But he wasn’t perfect for her. 

Because the only person perfect for Jo Wilson was Alex Karev. 

It was a shame, the life they could’ve lived if only he had answered her calls.

oh god okay feel free to ignore this if you want, idk? but um ive been really struggling with eating lately (like i just kinda panicked about the thought of eating?) and you're really good at writing all this kind of stuff so maybe billy struggling with eating after starcourt (for medical and mental reasons) and steve helping but still bring gentle and encouraging (totally okay if this is a sensitive for you or if you don't want to write it 💕)

This is pretty heavy.

Under the cut for medical stuff, disordered eating, talks of throw up (nothing graphic), me projecting.

The first bit under the cut is my medical story, so skip that if you would like.

Read on Ao3

-

So, oof. A little background. I spent three years misdiagnosed when I was young. I was so sick and in so much pain (one of my organs had literally died) that I couldn’t eat. If I did, I was in such severe pain I would throw up. I was 5 feet tall and weighed 62 pounds. If I had lost 2 pounds, I would’ve had an intestinal feeding tube. The doctors thought I just had an eating disorder from doing ballet. They would look at my chart, see another chronic illness I have, and blame my pain on that. They found what was wrong BY ACCIDENT and fixed it within a few hours in one (1) surgery.

So this is based largely on that.

-

He pushed the mashed potatoes around the plate.

“I thought hospital food was supposed to be like, bad. This is pretty alright.” Steve had wolfed down the plate he had gotten himself, not paying much attention to how the plate he had brought Billy was still full.

“Yeah. It’s okay.” He had taken one bite.

He felt fucking sick.

The thought of food, of something in his sore stomach, made him want to hurl.

“You’re not eating?” Steve’s eyebrows were scrunched up, concerned.

“Don’t feel too good.”

“Would something sound better? I could get you whatever you wanted.”

“Um, just like a ginger ale or something. Then I’ll try eating again.” That was his go-to. Ginger ale or Sprite, the carbonation helped his stomach enough that he could force some food down for a while.

Steve got him a few cans from the vending machine.

He ended up taking three bites of potato.

-

Steve made dinner when he finally got to come home.

They had decided he would move in with Steve, “live” in the bedroom across the hall, but they both knew he would be spending the most time in Steve’s room.

He had just made buttered noddles, nothing that would be hard on Billy’s weak stomach, but he had made the noodles from scratch.

And Billy was just staring at them.

“You feeling okay?”

“Just, uh, you know. Stomach’s kinda off.” Steve got him a can of ginger ale from the fridge, slid it to him with a bright smile.

The gesture was sweet, but Billy just didn’t want to risk it.

Every night he spent heaving into the toilet, it made his muscles seize and hurt. It made his throat burn for hours, made him feel like he was wasting away to nothing.

-

He always used the same hole on his belts.

He knew it was the right one from the way the leather was stretched a bit, the buckle leaving indents on it.

But that was too big now.

Did nothing to hold up his pants.

His pants that used to fit.

He tightened his belt.

Two notches. He was two notches thinner.

-

Billy could hear the blender when he woke up.

He was curious as to what Steve was doing, what the fuck he was blending up.

He came downstairs, found Steve with grocery bags all around the kitchen.

“Hey! I’ve been doing some research.” He poured the thick smoothie into a blender. “I think this might be easier for you to eat and keep down. There’s protein powder and some ginger, that should help keep your stomach calm, and spinach and some fruit and stuff.” Steve was fidgeting with his hands.

“Thank you.” Billy sat down with it.

Steve let him take his time, let him drink it in tiny sips.

He was about halfway through when he threw it all up.

-

Billy hadn’t eaten in two days.

But he also hadn’t thrown up in just as long.

Steve poked a plate of plain toast towards him.

Billy stared at it.

Steve sighed.

“Will you just, take one bite? For me?”

He took the smallest bite he possibly could.

Steve let him wait ten minutes before he pushed the toast back towards him.

They continued that until Billy finished the toast, waiting a while between each bite in order to make sure it wasn’t on it’s way back up.

He kept it down almost the whole night, until the pain in his stomach flared again and he was heaving into the large mixing bowl Steve kept next to the bed.

-

Billy was laying on the bed, curled into himself, clutching his stomach.

Steve had been behind him almost all day, rubbing his back, talking in a low soothing voice.

He left when there was a pounding on the door. He left the door open, Billy could hear Max’s voice.

“Jesus, Max. You’re a mess.”

“It’s, it’s raining. And I fell.”

“Why were you skateboarding in the rain?”

“I um, I remembered, whenever Billy felt sick, he liked eating lime popcicles, and I went to Melvald’s, and I got some.”

She sounded hysterical.

“Alright, thank you, Max. Thank you. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He heard them coming up the stairs, going into the bathroom on the landing he kept the first aid kit in.

They were in there for a while before Steve came in, talking in that soft voice he always uses.

“Billy, Max is here.”

It felt like a feat for him to roll over.

Her knees were bandaged up, and her face was splotchy.

“Hey, Shitbird.”

“You look like shit.” He huffed a laugh.”

“Feel like it, too.” Her lip trembled. He didn’t want that. “Hey, thanks for the popcicles. Can I get one? Lime, right?”

“Yeah. Lime.” Steve helped him sit up, gave him one of the popcicles.

It tasted good, and the cold was nice on his throat.

And he even kept the whole thing down.

-

Steve was standing next to Billy as they waited for the doctor.

He had lost nearly thirty pounds since he’d been home. His muscle was nearly entirely gone.

“Steve, just, play it cool.”

“I will not.” He had his pissed off mom face on, and Billy knew he had no qualms about yelling at a doctor.

“Steve, this is just, my life now.”

“No. I refuse to accept that.”

“You yell at Owens every time we’ve come in for the past four months, Steve.”

“And I’m gonna keep yelling until shit gets fixed.”

There was a rap on the door before Dr. Owens let himself in.

“You need to help him.” Billy huffed as Steve started in immediately.

“Um, good morning to you both.” Dr. Owens looked between the two of them.

“Billy can’t eat without throwing up. Look at him. He’s fucking wasting away.”

“Steve-”

“No. I can’t take it anymore. There is something fucking wrong. It is your job to fix it.”

Owens’ eyes were wide, Steve was on a roll.

“Every day, every day he can’t eat anything. He won’t because he’s in pain, and he’d rather not eat than throw everything up. And you need to help him.”

Owens was quiet.

“Let’s run some tests.”

-

Billy was in imaging within a few minutes. He had an x-ray done of his abdomen, and Owens ordered several blood tests.

They were in another room, Billy was having an ultrasound done of his entire stomach.

The tech was looking at his intestines, finding everything normal.

“Look, you’re already doing all this, can’t you just kinda, poke around?”

“I’m not sure-”

“Just kinda,” Steve made a vague wiggling gesture around Billy’s stomach.

She gave him a look.

But she sighed, moving the wand up his body.

“Huh?”

“Wait, what’s huh?”

“Um, excuse me.” She left in a hurry.

“Wait, you think they found something?” Billy’s eyes were side.

“If they did, and I was right, you’re never gonna hear the end of it.” Billy rolled his eyes.

The tech returned with an older woman, pointing at the screen and discussing in low voices.

And then the doctor was leaving again, and the tech was wiping his stomach.

“So, we’re going to prep an operation room. We’re going to have you in there as soon as we can.”

“Wait, what?”

“His gallbladder is infected.” Steve was fucking grinning when he turned back to Billy.

“So, I was right?”

“Steve, read the room. Surgery.”

“Oh, fuck.”

-

Steve was biting his nails.

The chairs in the waiting room were stiff and uncomfortable.

They were given the run down. Billy’s gallbladder had become infected. Probably due to the traumatic situation of his injuries and the many surgeries it took to put him back together.

It was almost completely dead inside his body, causing severe pain and all the vomiting. The doctor had explained that his rapid weight loss had probably only hurt it more.

They said it would take about two hours to remove.

Steve had been staring at the large clock as the two hours clicked by.

It was creeping up on two and a half, and he was getting fucking antsy.

He scrambled to his feet when a nurse called him back.

“You family?”

“Yeah, I’m his brother.” It was easier to lie. He needed to see him.

“He should be waking up very soon. It’s easier if there’s family. His surgery went well, the surgeons were able to remove his gallbladder with no other complications. He may be in pain and delirious when he wakes up, put that will pass, and we can give him more medicine if he needs.” They had stopped in front of a nondescript door.

Steve let himself in, taking the seat closest to Billy’s bed, taking his hand. His eyes were already blinking slowly. He smiled softly when he saw Steve.

“Pretty,” his voice was soft.

“Hey, Baby. I’m right here for you.”

“Thanks for, thanks for fightin’.” Steve smiled back at him, running a hand through his hair.

“Of course, Bill. I’ll always fight for you.”

“Love you.”

“I love you, too.” Billy smiled again. “You feelin’ okay? Need more meds?”

“Nah. Feelin’ good. Feelin’ high.”

“Yeah, they gave you the good drugs.”

“Good drugs.” He laid back in the pillow, his eyelids looking heavy.

“Go to sleep if you’re tired, Bill.”

“Don’t wanna. Wanna see you.”

“I’ll be here when you wake up again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Steve kissed his hand.

@yukikorogashi​ asked: 💞💖💘💕 tigger bounces in with these 👀

positivity meme -- slow, still accepting

Send 💞 and my muse will say something nice about your muse

    The house had grown silent in the late hours of the night, Arthur burning the midnight oil as he was prone to do. Mind running a mile a minute, and not really getting much from late night television, he opted to sit in the office across from Itsuki’s bedroom. At the thought, he found himself glancing toward the slightly ajar bedroom door, letting in a dim bit of light from the one he kept on in the hall for her. Aside from a small conversation about her day and a request for a story from his own, it seemed like she had fallen asleep pretty easily once he had started talking.

    He was never sure if he should take that as a compliment or not when it happened, but at least ONE of them was getting some much needed rest.

    As he could feel his thoughts starting to circle, he let out a small sigh from his nose as he shifted to pull a familiar book from one of the shelves. The pages were starting to become worn with use, Arthur about halfway into his current journal. He flipped open to the current page, a partly complete sketch of their newest addition to the household: an old collie that Itsuki had affectionately named Mochi. As far as he was aware, the old guy was asleep on a chair in the living room.

    Arthur huffed lightly out of his nose at the thought, turning to the blank page and started to scribble down some thoughts.

Itsuki’s growing in so many ways every day. It honestly surprises me sometimes.

I wasn’t the only one who question my decision to adopt a kid at first. Hosea had cast me that uncertain look when I first mentioned it, and the social worker...well, I could never really get a read on them, but somehow I managed to impress someone because here we are.

She’s healthy, hasn’t lost mind or limb. I figure I’m doing something right.

I know I’m not around as much as I wish I was, and Hosea’s been a great help in keeping an eye on her. Teaching her things in that special way he has, which is probably better for her than whatever I can give. Still, I catch the odd eye or word from him about spending more time with her, which I’m trying to do. It must be working, she certainly hasn’t come to hate me or resent me being home when I am. Yet.

Still, I love that kid. The odd nights she opens that bedroom door of mine to tell me about a nightmare or storm outside and we have to stay up a little later until she can sleep again, the way she races to the truck when I pull up to the school (even during the times where I know she’s had to wait for me,) it’s all something I never thought I’d see in my life or know it to be something I would miss if it disappeared.

I want nothing more than to see her happy, and she’s always the brightest person in the room when she is. If I can help with that, that’s all I want.

Though, maybe what’s best for her is me getting some sleep so I’m not spacey and distracted with her tomorrow.

Send 💖 and my muse will say something nice about you, the mun

    “Could’ve certainly picked a worse night for this,” Arthur commented, casting a glance upwards.

    The sun had dipped below the horizon, the sky cast in a blanket of stars as the orange glow of the fire he had built cast him and his companion in a warm light. A rabbit was slowly roasting over the flames, something he had hunted earlier for the coming night. Thankfully, he had been getting better with a bow. It had saved him the embarrassment of picking out shell casings from the meat in front of her, at the very least. He dropped his gaze back down, watching the fire for a few moments before he glanced toward her.

    “I’ve certainly had worse company ‘round a fire, too. Some folks are more likely t’ greet you with a barrel of a gun shoved against the back of your head, but...nah, y’ don’t seem the type. I know you been fightin’ things in different ways, though. Kid’s always goin’ on ‘bout how STRONG y’ are, and I can see why. Life...life’s got a funny way ‘f workin’ things out. Lots ‘f good things happenin’ out there, yet there’s a lotta bad happenin’ t’ folk who don’t deserve it. Whatever good’s out there, I know it’s due t’ come your way. Hell, I’d give ya some of mine--lord knows I ain’t done anythin’ t’ deserve it.”

    He let out a vaguely humorous huff, glancing back to the fire for a moment before meeting her gaze once again.

    “Guess what I’m tryin’ t’ say is that there’s a lot of people out there who are on your side. Can’t get too far in life without people y’ can trust, and you’ve proved time and again that you’re one of those who can be that for someone, and it’s a fool who don’t see that and won’t return it. Y’ deserve more than y’ get, much as that might not mean much from someone like me. Y’ got a lotta fight in y’, and you’ve never had a point a gun t’ prove it. Folks see that.”

Send 💘 and the mun will say something nice about your muse

I remember seeing Itsuki for the first time all those years ago, and jokingly I was like “who’s lost child is this?” lol

However, I can honestly say with my whole heart that I am so glad to have been introduced to her character. However, I can’t say much to how she is portrayed on her blog, as I am...completely unfamiliar from the media she is from. (And considering some of the horror stories I’ve heard about the fandom, I’m very content with hers being the only blog I follow from it lol.) Yet, I feel like I’ve known her character for so long through how often she’s appeared on my blogs and all the relationships I’ve built with her through my own characters. Good, bad, everything.

Itsuki is such a strong character in not just physical prowess, but strength of will and mind too. No matter what blog I am on, I can almost always trust her to be this force of optimism and child-like joy and curiosity. Even on a blog of mine starring a certain baptist, even in the face of someone who wouldn’t appreciate her for who she is, somehow Itsuki still manages to handle that in a way that is both absolutely a joy to write with and great to play off of.

I know I’ve said it before, but often I do find myself thinking about how a character would interact with her when I am making a blog. Not only is it me trying to make room for interaction, but it is also good for general character development. She has become such a staple on my blogs, which honestly rarely happens and for as long as it has with her.

Send 💕 and the mun will say something nice about you, the mun

Becka!!

Much like you wrote in this section for me, I am also sorry this took so long because I also wanted to make sure everything sounded right. Especially after coming off a long semester of university, I’ve been trying to come back into my writing. Lol Honestly, what can I say about you that I haven’t said a million times? I always say this, yet I know it bares repeating because I know everything I feel about you to be wholly the truth. You are such a great friend, and even when you’re not feeling like you are, or you are in the middle of a falling out, or stuck ruminating on something that didn’t work out with someone, I know for a fact that you have done your absolute best in that friendship. I know you have done nothing but show me support, love, and a deep kindness since the day I met you and I know I can say absolutely that you are one of my best friends.

Hell, I know even my family asks about you sometimes because I know I’ve mentioned having our late night talks often enough. Lol I know you have helped me through so much, even in things you may not even be aware of. Being able to write with you, knowing that you’re out there doing you and being awesome, it’s everything I could ask for in a friend. It’s 3 am while I’m writing this so idk if I’m rambling like mad here, but I have a lot of feelings for you. Lol Mostly, I’m just grateful. That you exist, that we’re as close as we are, for the conversations we do have. I love you a TON, and I hope you know that. I ALWAYS want you to know that, even in the deepest darkest pits you may fall in.

I am always happy to see you, to talk with you, to write with you. I love you, and you’re always in my thoughts and I hope nothing but the best for you and I’m always so excited and happy when I do see that happening for you.

Ad Astra: Dammit, Brad!

Just Ad some Astra, people! - and everything will be alright. There's a joke there somewhere; it's not in what I just said, and wherever it is, it's probably a bad one, but it's there! Sometimes, I like jokes that are bad. We all have a family member or two who tell the same bad joke over and over again, but love them for it.  Or sometimes it'll be the same joke that people tell at work, you know??  - about the weather, or the weekend or something:

I'm always hearing jokes like "I'm off to HR. So-and-so grabbed my butt again. They'd better fire his ass this time!" - AND THEN WE’D ALL LAUGH. ... ... in retrospect, that's not really a joke. ... Ok, better example - sometimes people will be like "Oh no! My wife is leaving me. She found me in bed with another woman... she's taking the kids." - AND THEN WE’D ALL... ... Hmm... I 'm starting to realize what assholes we've been. But, y’all know what I mean, right? There are jokes that are bad, and then there are bad jokes! *sigh* That leads me to this movie.

Brad Pitt, baby! Look at those eyes! Damn he's pretty! I hope I look that good when I'm his age. I'm here for them sending Brad Pitt anywhere. Send him to the jungle - I'm there! Send him under water - I'm there! So, of course, if you're sending him to space - I'm there! The prob is, it's a bad joke. They sent him to space and he didn't do nothing! - I mean NOTHING! All he did was float around and narrate. Idc how pretty he is, nobody wants to watch that!

Brad Pitt, with this movie, joins that special list of actors:

with Tom Hanks, and Meryl Streep, and George Clooney, and Denzel.

We love them. They're extremely talented. Critics love them. AND their movies are boring as hell - this one is no different. Don't believe me?? - go to RT and you'll see a critical rating of around 80% and an audience rating of around 46% (tho it might be less by now). Normally, I say the truth is in the middle, which is still in the 60's, so... yeah, "Ad Astra", everybody *slow clap*

There's a lot of beauty to behold in this flick (especially in the beginning), so it might win awards in that arena, but damn the plot and characters! Dag gon you, Brad Pitt! It's not his fault that the movie is boring. It IS his fault for being in this boring movie.

Brad's character has daddy issues, and decides to work them out in space. Critics will say how deep this movie is... this ain't deep. Brad, your dad is a jerk - THE END. 

Either make peace with that fact or say "bleep it" and move on with your life - don't drag us along for this boring ride.

Dammit, Brad! 

You could have been a diva! You could have been like "I know we're in space, but imma take off this suit, and my shirt... trust me, the ladies will love that. I'm Brad Pitt. And I know in this scene there are dangerous highly flammable substances around, but Brad Pitt needs a smoke; make it work in the story! I know this is an Oscar craving drama, but I feel like fightin a mutha bleeper or two. Hey you! Yeah! Jamie Kennedy! Donald Sutherland! I've always wanted to punch y'all. Let's fight! Come here! I'm Brad Pitt! Where ya going?!

Hey, Liv Tyler! 

Where the hell have you been? I know this scene doesn't call for it, but let's you and me make sweet, sweet love. What?! Why not?! I'm Brad Pitt!"

But, instead he kept his mouth shut (except for when the director made him narrate in monotone), and just floated around in space. Every now and then, Ruth Negga would appear or Tommy Lee Jones... and every now and then something beautiful would appear, but then back to Brad's thoughts about daddy in space.

DAMMIT, BRAD!

I mean...

I....

*deep sigh*

Grade: D

Plus, we've already made this movie! - several times! It doesn't have to be complex. They did... what was it? - Armageddon, with um... Bruce Willis, and... Ben Affleck... 

... and wasn't Liv Tyler in that too?  - Was that her last movie? And I think Chris Tucker showed up and started singing... with a crazy hairdo... that doesn't sound right at all, but that's what I remember.

They did Apollo 13! 

The Hanky Pank Man went into space and probably won an Oscar or something.

Didn't Ryan Gosling go into space recently?

I don't remember much of that movie. He was probably crying, cuz that's his strength. He builds up to a cry for the whole movie, then at the end he makes us cry with him. Sorry, cuz that's pretty much a spoiler for all of his movies.

Matthew McConaughey went into space... something about time travel or something, I think. 

Was Liv in that too?! Maybe she has actually been stuck in space. All of these movies are connected - they're just trying to get Liv Tyler out of space and back into Hollywood.

... nah, it was some other pretty pale white woman.

Sandra Bullock went into space. 

She floated around for a while... but she didn't do that for hours whining about daddy issues like a lil bitch, BRAD PITT! (sorry, again, not your fault). SANDRA eventually did stuff... though I can't remember what. I remember ghost George Clooney ( at least I think he was a ghost) showing up in her space pod ... and then he made them both space martini's,

 and.... and then she took off her pants. There was a butt shot, and roll credits. 

Again, that doesn't sound right, but that's what I remember. Why did she take off her pants? Or is that what ladies do when in the presence of Clooney?

And I think Mark Hamill might have went into space and did some stuff as well.

I seem to have forgotten a lot about these movies, but that's kinda my point! Just go up into space, do some shit, and come back! We're going to forget most of it anyway; just entertain us in the moment! You don't just go into space and float around, BRAD PITT!

DAMMIT, Brad! Those are hours of my life wasted listening to you drone on and on about NOTHING!

Again, I'm projecting my anger onto Brad, but it's not really his fault.

A better movie would have been this -

Brad decides to go to space, and take with him a handful of other actors who got stuck playing boring roles. They'll all revisit one of their more memorable exciting characters:

Brad - Tyler Durden

Hanks - Woody

(yep, yep... that’s weird)

Streep - the witch from "Into the Woods"

Denzel - the guy from Training Day

(Wow, did they think Denzel was going to grow into that jacket during filming?)

Clooney - Batman

(his nipple game was immaculate)

Let's put Damon in there, cuz... yeah... - he'll play... what part was it when his movies started to... you know... ??? Was it "The Informant!"? He'll play that guy.

We still need more color, I think. And another woman... a lil older... um... Rosie Perez!

I hear that she's coming back to acting. Maybe I shouldn't call it a come back, but... has she done anything since "White Men Can't Jump"?  or had she been in space with Liv Tyler? She's supposed to be in that "Birds of Prey" movie next year... why they grabbed her for that movie when she hasn't done anything in like 40 years, idk. BUT, she's going to be in MY movie dag gonit! - she'll play... Idk, we'll just throw a "White Men Can't Jump" T-shirt on her, and give her a basketball.

BOOM! The team!

They'll go into space in hopes to do something interesting or fun or.. something that generally doesn't suck ass.

And why does it always have to be about exploring the moon or mars? And why do we only meet stereotypical aliens? There always either cute and marketable or they want to kill us.

We wouldn't even have to go the alien angle. What about other entities? Ooo! Or what about God? Scientists often joke that they haven't yet found some white bearded old man surfing through space yet. But, what if they did?

How about this?!

Brad and his team find Jesus and the Holy Ghost surfing through the cosmos, looking for the Father.

(Jesus played by Lil Wayne and HG played by... Lady Gaga - sure)

BUT the Father (spoiler alert) is actually on earth. He came down in the form of... idk... Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Btw - did y'all know that Neil was Metoo'd? Somehow I had missed that. So, the Father takes that form, somehow forgets that he's God... maybe gets metoo'd, and now Jesus and the HG have to look for him. Brad and his gang have an interesting encounter with them, and end up joining their quest, and in the process come across... idk... a malfunctioning Optimus Prime (crossover, baby!) with a thirst for blood and vengeance!

All of that stuff gets handled in about 2 hours or so, and Brad Pitt and friends come back to earth and do a musical number with BTS.

 THAT, Bradley is how you do it!

DAMMIT, Brad!

To be fair, "Once upon a time in Hollywood" is good! So, maybe we'll look back and give Brad a pass for this.

Sooooo, hit me up, and let's make THAT movie, Brad!

Annnnd don't make no more bullshit. Thanks.

In Which the Newsboys Narrowly Escape the Clutches of Death

Ships: nun

Starring: Davey, Les, Elmer, Racetrack Higgins, Spot Conlon

Warnings: uh idk yet? There’s gonna be some violence? A little gore because violence usually leads to that?? Kinda dark themes??? Death???? Wow it sounds so much worse when I say it like this okay imma stop

Note: I am so sorry for Race’s accent. I’m trying a new way of writing it. It looks atrocious but it’s kinda fun to read lol GOD LUCK BOYS

——————————

You know those days where they start out slowly, just running through the routine, and your only plans are to work and sleep? Those sleepy weekends where you’ve been given the morning shift but when it’s over, you’re going to go home and crash on the couch with a good book and not move for at least the next eight hours?

Well, that’s how Davey, Les, and Elmer thought this day was going to be. Saturday, the Sabbath, the Day of Rest. Times were rough, and the rocky financial situation of the Jacobs family meant that Davey and Les had been granted the privilege to work till noon on the Sabbath. Generally they weren’t supposed to work at all, but a boy’s gotta do what a boy’s gotta do.

The clock struck noon, with the sun looking straight down over the trio in Central Park. Elmer had tagged along, enjoying their company and liking the idea of only working till noon. He was sprawled out in the grass, with Davey and Les perched on a bench and a tree branch, respectively.

“Les, get outta that tree,” Davey ordered absently.

“Why?” Les frowned down at him.

“It’s Saturday. No working.”

“We just spent all mornin’ selling papes,” Les countered. “And I’m not workin’, I’m playin’.”

“Sure.”

Les scoffed softly, and stayed put. Davey didn’t bother arguing.

Elmer rolled over onto his stomach. “Why don’ you guys work Satadays?”

“Long story,” Davey sighed. “Simply put, the Jews were enslaved a long time ago, so now we take a day off to remember that. It’s called the Sabbath. But as we’re a sort of enslaved right now, we kinda… bent the rules a bit.”

Elmer pondered this. “So, does God like, get mad if you woyk on Saturday?”

“Uh,” Davey furrowed his brow. “I mean, I don’t think so. I think he gets it.”

“Not according to Aunt Becky,” Les piped up. “She used to tell us that we were goin’ to Hell if she caught us doing anything that wasn’t sittin’.”

Elmer’s eyes widened. “Good gravy.”

“Aunt Becky doesn’t count, Les,” Davey said. “She’s almost a hundred years old and kinda losing it. Besides, she can afford to sit around all day. She’s probably just jealous.”

Elmer and Les both stifled snorts of laughter.

Down the street, a police cab rounded the corner. Elmer perked up, suddenly not as relaxed as he had been. Davey glanced over his shoulder but thought nothing of it.

“What if that cop was here to arrest us for some wild crime and it turned out we’d been framed, and we had to go on the run for like, ten years?” Les ventured imaginatively. “Wouldn’t that be somethin’?”

Davey gave him a strange look.

“He’s prob’ly here to arrest you for climbin’ trees on da Sabbath,” Elmer joked. Les laughed and chucked an acorn at him.

The cab came to stop at the edge of the grass, and the officer exited, carrying his billy club. Elmer tried not to stare at him as the officer walked toward them. Les crouched in the tree, silent.

The officer approached them calmly, looking bored but friendly, and maybe a little confused.

“Afternoon, boys,” he greeted them.

“Afternoon, Officer,” they replied.

“How’s your day been so far?” the officer asked.

The boys glanced at each other. “Good, sir,” Davey answered for them. “Made a little change, thanks for asking. You?”

The officer sighed. “Oh, well, it’s been alright.” He seemed to be trying very hard to get to the point, but didn’t know quite what the point was. “You boys gotta- you boys gotta come with me.”

A short beat.

“What for?” Davey asked, trying very hard not to sound suspicious.

“A call come down to the station that said three boys were seen robbin’ a store a little ways away a little while ago. They sorta described ‘em as bein’ short, curly, and tall. And that sorta seems to fit you boys so…”

“Hey now, we ain’t robbed nobody!” Elmer protested.

“I didn’t say you did,” the officer assured them. “I just said I gotta take you down to the station and talk to ya a little bit.”

“You mean like interrogation?” Les called down from his tree.

The officer looked up at him, shaking his head. “No, no, no. Nothin’ like that.”

Les muttered dubiously.

“Look, I got a job to do. Just come with me,” the officer repeated; he seemed rather uncomfortable. The two younger newsies looked at Davey to make the final call.

Davey bit his lip: go nicely and just let this officer do whatever he needed to do, or go loudly and get whacked around. On the Sabbath? Not bloody likely—Mrs. Jacobs would kill them.

“Alright,” Davey agreed.

“Huh?” Elmer whispered loudly.

“Let’s clear our names, okay? They’ll catch the real crooks faster this way. “ He knew they hadn’t done anything, and understood the officer’s plight. There was no reason to be anything but confident and cooperative. “Les, come down.”

Les wasn’t as trusting. “You sure about this?”

“Just get down here,” Davey insisted. “Let’s not make this any more difficult than it’s gotta be.”

The officer seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Thanks. This’ll only take an hour or so.”

“Sure thing, Officer…?”

“Just call me Billy. Everyone does.”

“Sure thing, Officer Billy, sir.”

The three boys followed Billy to the cab, who opened up the back. “You gotta ride back here, sorry. There’s a fella in there right now, but he seems alright. I got him cuffed.”

Les and Elmer gave each other didn’t-we-say-it looks. Davey hesitated. How alright could a guy who needed cuffs be? “Uh, are you sure about that?”

“Oi, Dave!” a voice called from the cab.

That voice was really flippin’ familiar.

Davey frowned. “What the—“ He hurried to the cab doors as Billy moved aside. His jaw dropped a little. ”Racetrack?”

Inside the cab, Race waved at him with his cuffed hands, grinning lopsidedly. “Hiya!”

“Racetrack?” Les and Elmer echoed.

Am I really that surprised? Davey thought sarcastically.

“What’s he doing in handcuffs?” Les demanded Billy.

Billy raised his hands in self defense. “I pulled him out of a big fight down on 54th Street.”

Racetrack sat in the corner of the cab, hands cuffed in front him, sporting a split lip and a bloody nose, along with an colorful assortment of scratches and faint bruises. Aside from those very obvious injuries, he seemed just as stupidly chipper as always.

“What’re you doin’ ‘ere?” he asked them cheerily.

Davey spluttered. “Me? Us!? What the heck are you doing here?”

“Oh d’at’s a long story.”

Billy cleared his throat. “Erm, could you maybe tell ‘em on the way there? I’ve got… you know… work.”

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” Davey gestured at the other two to climb in, and they did, reluctantly.

“Good idea, big brother,” Les hissed as he climbed past. Davey smacked him and crawled in after him. Billy shut the door and a few seconds later the cab jolted forward on its way.

Davey whirled on Racetrack. “Alright, smart boy: explain.”

“Yeah, idiot,” Elmer said. “Who you fightin’?”

“Well!” Race settled down to tell what was undoubtedly a dramatic tale of daring and stupidity. “I was jus’ mindin’ my own business, as I always do, when suddenly—“

“Oh please,” Davey interrupted. “You’re never just ‘minding your own business’. Start over.”

Race sneered. “You t’ink you’re so smart, Dave. But I digress.” He continued. “I was walkin’ past a grocer and I saw da nicest lookin’ apple Mankind was eva blessed wit’. I was thinkin’ about swipin’ it but before I could, some udda guy did, pushed pas’ me, and ran off. Of course, wit’ my luck, d’at’s just when da grocer looked up, and of course he sees me, standin’ d’ere with my bag and lookin’ spooked, and of course he assumes I done somethin’. He yells at me—“ (and here Race imitated the disgruntled voice of the grocer) “—‘You boy!’ and I said, ‘Yeah, sir’, and he yells at me again, ‘You be takin’ things boy?’ And I says- I says to him, ‘No sir, but I seen some other fella did.” But I guess he didn’ hear me or somethin’ ‘cause a couple seconds later he was screamin’ his fool head off and comin’ at me wit’ a whole fish.

“A whole fish?” Les exclaimed.

“A whole fish. And d’en I ran b’cause, buddy, I ain’t stupid, and as I’m bookin’ it d’is fella flyin’ tackles me into some udda store’s display. So next t’ing I know, a grocer and a butcher are both trying to club me to death wit’ a whole fish and big ol’ pork roast.”

Les and Elmer were enthralled, gazing at Race with shining eyes. Davey looked unamused.

Race went on. “So d’ere I am, hollerin’ like a pigeon in a rat trap and scratchin’ and punchin’ and kickin’, and I’m gettin’ my butt handed t’me, when suddenly da butcher is fightin’ da grocer and beatin’ him wit’ da pork. People are yellin’ for da cops and tryin’ to pull d’ose two bozos off each udda, when da butcher pulls out a knife—“ (Les and Elmer gasped here; Davey’s eyebrows twitched) “—and slashes da other guy. Everybody went afta him d’en, tellin’ him t’calm down and for da love of God, put d’at bleedin’ knife down! Da cops finally showed up, two of ‘em, and d’ey broke up da fight. D’ey couldn’t get a straight story outta all t’ree of us, so d’ey decided to book us all for disturbing da peace and fightin’.”

“Wow!” Les breathed. “That’s awesome!”

“Pullin’ a knife on ya?” Elmer whooped. “Golly!”

“Amazing.” Davey said simply, arms crossed and altogether rather annoyed with Racetrack. “A wonderous tale.”

Race pretended not to notice this. “Da one cop took da butcher and da grocer t’da locker for a day or two, and ol’ Bobby here is takin’ me to juvie.” He prodded the wall with his elbow. “Ain’t d’at right, Bobby?”

“It’s Billy. Bobby’s my brother,” Billy reminded him sullenly.

“Oh, yeah.” Race grimaced, and shuddered. “I rememba Bobby, now.”

Davey glanced from Race to Billy through the small barred window. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“Bobby is Billy’s twin brotha,” Race explained. “He’s just da opposite d’ough. He ain’t nice at all. In fact, he’s downright creepy. Stay away from Bobby.”

“What, does he kill people?” Elmer asked bluntly.

“Worse,” Billy answered before Race could respond, and said nothing more.

The four boys all looked at each other.

“Told ya,” Race whispered.

“Gee,” Les said, shooketh to the core. He thought for a moment. “But… if they’re twins, how will we tell ‘em apart?”

Race gestured to his chest with a constrained thumb. “Name tags, but d’ose only woyk wit’in spittin’ distance. It’s best you jus’ avoid both of ‘em.”

Up front, Billy looked miserable.

....

To be continued...

——————

Farewell notes: Yeet I hope you had fun reading Racetrack’s ungodly dialogue. Feedback is greatly appreciated. In fact, every time I get a tag or something I do a dance in my brain. Btw this story is gonna get shuckin wiLD so get ready boys

I may have spent way too long typing up all my reactions to the Stardew Valley villagers, but at least it’s a change of pace from the obscene amount of time I’ve been playing this game recently... well sorta...

MY PALS

Emily - I visit her at work many nights. strange and whimsical girl, LOVE her. probably gonna wrap her up in wool and marry her someday shhh

Haley - idk she amuses me and we have a secret pact regarding kale

Linus - FRIEND!  nice for a chat every time I go to the mines. he’s always so sad about how the villagers treat him ;_; happy to be his pal.  very useful recipes.

Sebastian - anti-social and occasionally rude, but sensitive at heart.  major relatability tbh.  we’re always running into each other. I like his response to gifts “hey! I like this!” concise and straightforward.

Willy - old man fisher fellow!  love that guy, and his beard

Clint - I appreciate someone who’s dedicated to his profession and love his awkward little notes and metal bar gifts in the mail.  his problems are relatable in a dark way, also creepy, but I’d like to think that my friendship with him can turn it all around.

Friendly

Leah - I appreciate that I can give her foraged goods I find on the ground literally right next to her.  

Marnie - my animal lovin’ buddy!  I imagine she’s the type to tell long stories about her animals that are important to her, but really boring for the listener.  we’re buds though.

Robin - love to just.... watch her build shit... i’m imagining her w sexy sweaty muscles as she hacks up that wood

Demetrius - seems cool, and then gets overprotective of his daughter or a bit too lost in his studies.  we’re chill but not close...

Want to be friends!!

Maru - I want to be her friend!! she likes astronomy and mad science and pretty rocks, and is generally super rad!  seems kinda standoffish so far, but I’m trying

Abigail - why does she?? want to eat?? everything??? I need to know more

Wizard - we would be friends if I didn’t have to go so far out of my way to see him...

Gunther - what is his DEAL and why can’t I discover his life story. who the fuck are you dude and why that hat

Marlon - too cool for me, probably, but maybe I’ll get good at slime slaughter someday and we can try to trade war stories

Acquaintance

Penny - seems nice, but makes no real impression on me.  why are there so many redheads???

Gus - just doin’ his thing, slinging those drinks

Harvey - i promise to wear sunblock if you stop telling me to wear it, okay!! I get it skin cancer is bad

Pierre - fightin’ the good fight against Joja. could probably use a vacay. i don’t know anything else about him, probably he only thinks about seed prices

Caroline - oh wait... I always get her and Abigail mixed up... what’s her deal, I forget

Jas- won’t talk to me, doesn’t like anything I want to give anyway

Sam - seems like kind of a dope

Elliot - fake deep, kind of pretentious probably

A bit much

Pam - oh honey... please cut back on the pale ale

Jodi - lady.... you need a vacation...

Kent - I feel bad but uuhh

Lewis - seems a bit desperate to be liked, in that politician fashion. I don’t really trust him, but is probably harmless

Evelyn - i’m always suspicious that she’s trying too hard at the sweet old lady thing, and one day is just gonna snap after taking too much of George’s negative bullshit

>:-(

Vincent - shitty little scamp who gifted me clay for fake-Christmas

Alex - you make zero impression on me. what is the point of you

Shane - RUDE and RUDE what an ass. he shared a beer with me once which was cool, but still tells me to fuck off every time I say hi

George - cantankerous old coot. why bother living if you hate everything so much. evelyn deserves better, probably.

((Terrible and Saness discuss the recent trouble she’s been having with her guardian and possible solutions to those problems. There are a few trigger warnings for this chat, including head stuff, manipulation, mind control, amnesia, suicide (sorta), and death in general.))

flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:23 AM FO: chirp? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:24 AM SP: Sorry, I was distracted by a musical interlude. SP: I was gonna ask "what do you want to know" but you'd probably have a hard time forming specific questions without something to base it on. SP: So, uh, you wanted to know why that strategy was the strategy I've got going. I'm not actually set on it because I don't like it as a plan, but I will probe my options before taking action y'know? Even the ones that suck. SP: Anyway, Anista is a golem or something. SP: And it sucks. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:30 AM FO: totally, checking out your options is the smart thing even if some of the options are horrible bullshit.  you wont know exactly how bad an idea they are if you dont check FO: i usually bring up the worst idea first when im tryin to solve my own problems, just so i can cross it off the list... FO: that does suck.  i could tell there was something going on in her, but ive got no idea whats in there. FO: was she always a golem? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:34 AM SP: I think so. I'm guessing a little bit on that part. Context says probably, because I did a thing and almost got wiped so she got replaced with a Brand New Anista Golem that functioned like she used to, meaning that she's acting like a full person again instead of a zombie. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:53 AM FO: uh, yikes FO: you okay there? FO: and who or what replaced her? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:55 AM SP: I'm... uh, yeah. SP: It's just a thing. SP: As for the who/what in charge of replacing her, I'm not quite sure. They're a lot bigger than me, but I'm not willing to say "horrorterror" without evidence. I'm not experienced enough to tell. So, for now, it remains a mystery. SP: If you meant "what is she now" then the answer is "a seemingly normal troll who is constantly keeping tabs on me and probably ready to dropkick my pan at the slightest provocation." flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:01 PM FO: misc eldritch thing #1 it is FO: yikes, thats p shitty FO: if i ever catch you acting different, do you want to give preemptive permission for me to sneak over and try to return you to this state? FO: or like, to come check and make sure any changes are Legit Things You Wanted And Are Fine With Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:03 PM SP: That would be pretty great, if you don't mind. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:04 PM FO: fuckin anytime, dude, ill set myself a timer to peek at your blog once a week.  make sure to delete the logs of this convo in case she peeks at your computer FO: okay so, something happened, and she wound down enough that she stopped working.  but then something else happened, and now shes back. FO: is she winding down again, or is she going to stay at full capacity? FO: did the thing that put her together like this get distracted and wander off forever, or did it wander off and then come back? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:10 PM SP: There is no evidence suggesting that she is in a state of decline, presently. She was fine and seemingly normal for the entirety of three sweeps before she turned into the zombie fake-o person. My current hypothesis is that she... wears out? Like a timer, or an old battery or something. SP: The thing that did this obviously isn't hanging out 24/7 or I probably wouldn't be me already. I think Anista-Golem is like a watchdog or something for whatever-the-fuck eldritch doodad the first. SP: A lot of that is gonna be speculation; I don't know much about the big guy. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:14 PM FO: yeeahh...(edited) FO: yeah you need out of there dude FO: and you need out of there in a way that they wont notice FO: so i can see why the death thing is a thing FO: i wish id known about this while you were still seery, then i coulda asked some questions an gotten pokey about a lotta fuckin FO: theres a lotta unknowns here and a lotta things that Could branch how this goes If they are true FO: ... shit is p whack, friend.  anythin i can do to help i will Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:18 PM SP: Thanks, Terrible. I really do appreciate it. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:22 PM FO: this one time my life sucked total ass, and someone was nice to me at exactly the right time.  and i decided that maybe being nice to people wasnt stupid, and that it was nice that there were people like that around.  so i decided to be someone like that. FO: this shit is exactly why. Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:23 PM SP: It's a good attitude, in my opinion. I prefer to help people when I can. SP: Before I go on about my plan to get out of here, there's a bit more to this yet, of the things I know. SP: One of the reasons I trust my death-note-suggestion from the future-past is because, like I said, I almost got wiped. SP: If I hadn't been all godly when it happened, it might've worked. Probably would have. SP: Anyway SP: I was getting erased, or blocked, or something (gross and weird) because I was messing with a mind wall (maybe?) and I got caught. SP: So maybe I need to disconnect from whatever I'm tethered to. SP: It's what I'm guessing, anyway. I'd prefer not to do the dying thing, obviously. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:24 PM FO: B( FO: yeah, obvs. FO: im guessin you respawned once, but also dont remember parts of the anon? FO: is there other stuff that feels not solid? FO: the healer chick would need a small piece a you but hair or blood would probably do it, and she could rez you from a distance on command after that.  shed just need to know when Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:41 PM SP: Most of the not-solid is from my memories. I don't remember a lot of stuff, it seems. Other stuff has to do with Anista and the generator. SP: Oh wait. SP: The generator. That's an okay idea. In tandem, not separately. SP: I'd need to put Anista out of commission for a bit though. Hm. SP: Can you tell me a little about the healer lady? I trust you, but I've never spoken to her I don't think. Is she a God Tier as well? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:43 PM FO: yeah.  shes a meenah, Meenah Peixes FO: long story short she lives in sparks's universe, and she's kinda low key and staying out of the spotlight.  does a lotta bakin, some healin for pay. FO: shes kinda mercenary but i think she cares about dudes once they catch her interest, which most dont FO: the universe shes in has legal limes, crimsons, and wings, and no caste system, so theres no problems on the mutant front FO: i could vouch to be there and supervise 100% of the rez process if you trust me enough for that an itd help any Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:00 PM SP: I don't know if that will help any, but I appreciate the offer and I'll keep it in mind. SP: I considered whether or not, as a Prince of Mind, you'd be able to bust shit up so I could skip the not-being-alive part, but that seems less likely to work and more likely to get you smooshed by the eldritch fucko. SP: Besides this stuff, I'm trying to convince a pal of mine to go off-world with me before they fuck up and start a sgrub session. SP: None of my timeframes are defined, so it all feels kinda like it has to be done immediately. Am I gonna get wiped? Is my friend gonna blow up this Alternia? I don't know what's happening first. SP: I think I'm rambling now, sorry. SP: More useful thing, practical type. Do you know the charging rates on resurrection? SP: Which is a funny sentence, by the way. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:04 PM FO: fightin an eldritch fucko would be a heck of a fight, but its one id give a go.  ive done it before, ive pulled that kinda shit outta dudes heads.  theres a big variance on how big an individual eldritch fucko happens to be though, so its a thing to take super fuckin seriously before blunderin straight into FO: if anybody could cut a mind connection, id probably be able to though FO: ramblin makes sense, and bein in a hurry makes sense too.  why is your friend on the verge of startin a sgrub session?  do they like, know not to? -- flippinOptimist began sending file : meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf --  (( a 2-page document, where the first is a classy menu for baked goods with a catering section at the bottom, and the second is a matching menu for healing by injury type with a 'special requests on case by case basis' section at the bottom.  It lists reviving as a special request. )) FO: i think she bases it partly on what a dude can scrape together, but idk FO: theres a chance sparks might be willin to help (or meddle) for free, but hes got an M!A rn thats fuckin up his ability to do things Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:17 PM [ sanessPsuede downloaded meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf ] SP: Oh hey, great, thanks. SP: I don't know how close she is to starting one, because she's not answering any of my messages. SP: I'll probably have to hunt her down in person. I figure she can't start a game if I get her out of the zone for a bit. SP: Maybe delay the inevitable. SP: Fex is a cool dude. You and he have some stuff in common there. SP: I haven't been able to tell my friend not to yet, obviously. I don't think she took it seriously when I told her about it before. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:23 PM FO: good luck delayin it, an talkin your friend outta it FO: sgrub is somethin you can make the best outta, f you get stuck in it, but uh FO: a lot of it sucks real bad Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:27 PM SP: It's probably more efficient SP: to see if dying works SP: rather than engaging in a risky conflict unprepared SP: Side note! SP: Thoughts on how to break a mental connection to a thing that is not a person? SP: Like the Anista puppet or a wall. SP: If there's not a mind, can there even be a link? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:41 PM FO: efficient isnt really a good word when somebodys life is on the line, and id still risk it.  its more about whats most likely to work i think. FO: i think worrying about whether or not something is a person is more of a soul / heart thing FO: if it has a mind, thats close enough FO: theres plenty of bugs that are too simple for me to be able to get a read on FO: and a couple a computer programs that are almost something enough, that i cant quite reach FO: but i peeked at her and saw that she existed and that there was stuff, if i was careful enough i might be able to unplug somethin FO: i think info processing and the ability to choose between outcomes is the big thing.  ideally in some kind of.. complex..ish way, naut just a simple if statement Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:07 PM SP: What about a literal wall? Something completely mindless. Could something eldritch-y make a connection to it? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:11 PM FO: never seen one!  one way to find out though B) Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:22 PM SP: :D SP: Okay, I'm gonna see about getting in touch with Meenah. No point waiting around. SP: It's efficient, and probably more effective. SP: I'm not inclined to gamble with more than my own neck if I can avoid it. SP: Risk to result ratio says dying is the way to live SP: while causing the least amount of harm, probably flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:25 PM FO: if youre sure dude FO: for what its worth, if you go into a death knowin its comin and bein okay w knowin youre (probably) comin out the other side, its naut as aaaaaaaaAAAAa as it is when its a surprise and also a big upsetting disruption FO: its still kinda A Fuckin Thing, but FO: its possible to get over it, more n most ways of death comin by Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:29 PM SP: Okay, I'm not really sure, but the alternative worries me a lot and putting other people at risk jangles my moral compass pretty hard flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:30 PM FO: man, if you ever godtier, you're definitely gonna run into problems w the heroic thing Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:35 PM SP: Just means I'd be a normal dude with super powers. One life, one death. Seems fair. SP: And sucky. SP: No thank you, Sgrub. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:43 PM FO: yeah, p much.