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#march is the month we met. april will be a year since the first time we broke up. n we got together in the month of may
hexplaything · 3 months
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every day i live in delusion hoping she's miserable and thinks abt me and misses me bc if i actually remind myself of the fact that she got a new girlfriend less than 2 months after we broke up (and less than two weeks after she was still messaging me begging for me back) i'll go so insane ill need to be admitted involuntarily <3
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godslino · 24 days
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IN BLOOM | jisung first date series. second chance lovers.
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pairing: jisung x fem!reader word count: 13.2k genre: childhood friends au, angst, fluff, songwriter!jisung, florist!reader warnings: swearing, minor character death, grief/loss (nothing to do with any of the members!) summary: it's february. the tulips are in bloom. jisung is back.
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chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin · · · ♡ series masterlist · · · ♡ taglist · · · ♡
a/n: *taps mic* hello?? is this thing on?? oh good. yes. hi. hello! it's been a while, as most of you can tell. thank you all SO MUCH for sticking around. if you've been reading my asks you'll know that march and april were rough months for me personally. shout out to my anons and mutuals who kept my spirits high and made my days brighter. uhhh, this was originally supposed to be a stand alone fic but i figured hey, what the hell, and made it into jisung's first date chapter. it's pretty heavy stuff. lots of feelings, lots of love. i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it! again, thank you so much for waiting for me. i'll be back soon with more updates! all the love <3
also thank you kenzie for being such a light during all of this. i hope all my screaming in your messages was worth it!
“All of these had to be pulled.” Hyunjin huffs, dropping a few crates just past the doorway. 
“Again?” you ask, hands on your hips as you stare at yet another wasted supply. “I don’t understand, they sold so well last year.”
Hyunjin gives you a sad smile. “It’ll pick up eventually, don’t worry. I mean the holidays just finished and business usually slows down in the months after anyways.”
He’s being sincere, you know that. But there’s a part of you that also knows it’s a lot more than just the usual ebb and flow of sales. He’s being nice for your sake.
“Maybe we could try coming up with other ideas?” he suggests, because Hyunjin is nothing if not kind. Always willing, always finding a way.
He moves past you to grab a fresh pair of gloves. The ones he’s wearing are dirty, pollen-stained and ripped at the edges. 
“You’ve always been really good at basket arrangements. We could try to make some for Valentine's Day. Different sizes, maybe? The big ones will probably do well for online orders since they’re more optimal for things like office deliveries and stuff like that.”
You hum in approval. “True. I mean, I was kind of worried we would have to skip out on deliveries this year since we don’t have the manpower to handle all of that, but I think Jeongin’s been looking to pick up hours around here again. He said something about his program giving them a month of independent study, so he’ll be home for a bit.” you say, scribbling down a reminder in your notebook. “I could ask him to help with driving the truck in his free time?”
Hyunjin lights up– he always does when Jeongin is mentioned. 
It’s been a lot quieter ever since he left for college. There were so many tears and so many hugs that were met with countless 'you guys are dramatic's in return. But it’s hard to not feel sad when people leave town; when they decide the borders lined with apple trees and rice fields aren’t enough to stop their dreams from blooming into more than what’s capable of being pursued here.
That, unsurprisingly, is something you know all too well.
“Can’t believe he’s driving.” Hyunjin laments as he wipes his floral scissors with a rag. “I used to spend my days changing his diapers and spoon feeding him redbulls– but now? Driving? My baby is all grown up.” he fake sniffles. “By the way, I’m gonna take my fifteen after I’m done snipping these tulips.”
You snort, bending down to take the crates of wilted flowers to the back for disposal. Hyunjin moves to help but you shake him off.
“Sounds good. Also, don’t let Innie hear you say that. I’m about a thousand percent sure he has the strength needed to throw you into the dumpster with one arm now.”
“My baby would never do that to me!” Hyunjin calls out as you round the corner, bumping open the back door with your hip. 
February brings a lot of rain in Jeju. Today is no different; fat drops landing on your head as soon as you stumble out into the alley behind the shop. Footsteps heavy on wet brick, you curse under your breath as you run as fast as you can to the dumpster.
There’s still a few supply boxes from yesterday’s shipment laying around. You meant to bring them in, but you were so exhausted that it slipped your mind while you struggled to make sure everything inside the shop was figured out.
Scrambling, you haul them in one by one, shoes squeaking against the floor as you alternate in and out, soggy cardboard pressed against the front of your apron. 
Hyunjin’s on break. A necessary one at that. You can’t bother him, especially not when he’s done enough by taking on more responsibility both as a physical worker and a newly actualized business partner recently. A few stacks of boxes and wet hair seem like a fair trade off for what he’s had to sacrifice in the past year now.
“Idiot,” you mumble, cursing yourself for carelessness. Your slip ups have been more frequent lately, evident in the way you constantly forget things and can’t seem to push away the haziness clouding your mind. 
If it weren’t for the timing of it all, you’d blame it on the weather. The gloominess. The overcast skies probably have some sort of hand in your lack of clarity. Shrouded.
But it’s February. And in Jeju— it rains.
By the time you make it back inside, you’re drenched. 
“You look like you just got dunked in a pool.” 
You frown, ringing your hair out into the trash bin by the door. It’ll definitely take time to dry off, both your hair and your clothes are soaked through.
Hyunjin watches with an amused look, arms crossed as he leans his back against the counter.
“Might as well have. It’s insane out there.” you sigh. “How was your break?”
You look up to find that his face has gone unreadable.
“Yeah, about that…” Hyunjin trails off, voice suddenly smaller than before.
“Everything okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah it’s just–” Hyunjin chews at his bottom lip.
You push past him into the supply room to switch out your apron just as he says, “Do you mind if I leave a little early today?”
You scoff, turning to face him. “Hwang Hyunjin,” you scold, lips twitching when he visibly startles at your tone, “You don’t have to ask me that. We’re partners now, remember? We run this place.” 
He shifts on his feet, still unsure.
“Besides,” you huff, tying a knot behind your back, “We were friends way before that, too. You don’t have to be all proper with me. Of course you can leave early. It’s slow today, I can take care of it.”
Hyunjin sighs after contemplating for a second. “Are you sure you’ll be okay, though?” 
When he stares at you for a moment too long, you know the real reason for his hesitation. It makes something twist deep in your gut.
Guilt, maybe, amongst other things.
“Of course.” you shrug, doing your best to seem nonchalant. 
Hyunjin’s ability to read people is kind of intense, a little scary at times. You happen to be one of his favorite subjects in that regard.
“Have fun. Tell Minah I said hi.”
He pales, sputtering around words as he struggles to say something. It’s cute, his plump lips opening and closing, eyes wild.
“I’m not going to see her! I’m–it’s just a movie! How did you—God, you’re so annoying. I should’ve made you trim the tulips. Hah!”
You giggle. “It’s funny that you think I wouldn’t know, especially with the way you love to actually make yourself look busy whenever she stops by to say hi.”
“I am busy.” he mumbles, looking away. “I just emphasize it a lot more when she’s here.”
“Sure,” you roll your eyes, “Let’s go with that.”
He whines a couple more times, trails after you around the shop and laughs when you swat him away with a rolled up newspaper that’s used for wrapping vases.
It’s loud. Easy. Hyunjin is a gentle reminder that normalcy still exists in your day to day, even if it’s hard to find. 
When he finally decides to leave, he lingers for a moment, triple checks that you’ll be okay. You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time today, but deep down you’re grateful. 
“Love you,” he says, one foot out the door. “Call me if you need anything.”
You shake your head, ignoring him. “Love you too.” 
And then he’s gone, a skip in his step as he heads down the sidewalk, leaving you with nothing but freshly-trimmed tulips and the sound of rain. 
“Herb snips, shears, tape…” you mumble, scanning the supply shelf. 
There’s not much to do in-shop right now. Almost all the arrangements have been tended to by Hyunjin already, his specialty being his keen eye. That’s why he handles the appeal of the shop, leaving you to figure out all the logistics. Learning it all was easier said than done.
In reality, it was never your intention to take over the shop at all. 
“When I die,” your grandma would always say, ignoring the way you groaned and begged her to stop bringing it up, “Sell this place. Use the money for something worthwhile. A trip to Greece, maybe?”
“Nana,” you would scold, glaring at her where she stood next to you, trimming a batch of roses.
Wrinkled hands that still held all the skill of youth. Fingers moving at a speed others could only ever dream of having– you included.
Your grandma handled flowers with the same amount of care she did everything else. It’s no wonder that when they grew they would lean in her direction, drawn to her like they would be the sun. 
“I’m not selling this place. It’s too special, too important. A vacation only lasts so long, Nana. This is forever.”
She would smile, turn petals over in her hand. Sometimes the marigolds would match the glow in her eyes, a testament to the belief you harbored as a child that she had the ability to sprout blossoms from her fingertips.
“The one thing you shouldn’t do, my dear, is rely on forever. Because that, too, is uncertain.”
You wish you hadn’t been so hard headed. Wish that you would’ve believed her, taken the time to listen, cherished the moment a little bit longer instead of relying on the promise of tomorrow.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Your grandmother was a wonderful woman.
She’ll be with you in your heart, forever.
Oh, what a lie forever is.
The shop stays empty for the rest of the day. There were a few passersby, all of whom simply stopped to scan the arrangements along the windows before giving a polite nod and carrying on their way. 
Realistically, the shop has no problem with attracting customers. It’s a sight to behold: mid-floor to ceiling windows with various displays, hanging baskets of winding greenery, countless arrangements that fill the shelves and add a pop of color, and a wide assortment of flowers for each season. 
The real issue lies in your inability to sell. Most people regard the place as being good for nothing more than window shopping and the usual photo-op.
Business has slowed since your Grandma passed; since you took over as the sole owner and were suddenly face to face with the task of making decisions in the shop’s best interest– both integrity wise and from a business standpoint.
“I know, I know,” you say around the pen cap between your teeth, “You used to be the brains around here, not me. I’m not creative enough for all of this, you know? No matter how much I try to be.”
You look up from where your notebook lays open, dozens of scribbles for arrangement ideas and planning. The picture on the wall stares at you, unmoving, eyes as bright as marigolds.
“Don’t give me that look.” 
She stares. A gaze that holds all the answers while also saying nothing at all.
“Ugh.” you groan, leaning your palms on the desk.
You allow your head to hang forward, defeated, exhaustion flooding your bones. 
Just as you’re about to speak again, to complain about yet another thing that probably has her rolling around in her grave, the bell at the front counter dings.
The clock on the desk reads 6:55pm, five minutes until close. You hadn’t even heard anyone come in.
“Be right there!” you call out, rushing to grab your apron from where you’d thrown it on one of the chairs. 
In your haste, the box of seed packets you’d been inventorying goes tumbling to the floor.
“Fuck,” you mutter, bending down to pick everything up. One more thing to add to the list today. 
Off-kilter. Disoriented. Exhausted. 
You sniffle a few times, blinking against the sting behind your eyes as you stand up to put the box back in its place.
One deep breath, a shake of your shoulders. Just enough to chase it all away until later. 
“Sorry about that,” you say cheerily, pushing past the hanging beads that separate the front of the shop from the back. “How can I help you?”
There’s a stranger, his back turned, attention focused on a batch of tulips. Freshly cut. White, blue, purple.
You realize, belatedly, that you’d forgotten to grab your apron in your haste to clean up the seed packets. Another slip up. Nana always prided herself in her apron, wore it like a badge of honor, raised you to do the same.
Just as you spin around to grab it, the stranger says, “It’s okay. I just, um, I wanted to say hi.”
You freeze. There’s a long moment where his voice rings loud in your ears, reverberates against the walls of your brain until it travels through your blood, the feeling like wildfire in your veins until it settles deep in the pit of your stomach. 
Slowly, you turn, heart clamoring in your chest, threatening to stop altogether as soon as you come face to face with the one person you never thought you’d see again.
Because there, at the front of the store, is Jisung.
Jisung, with wide eyes and parted lips. Jisung, with hair that still curls at the ends and falls in shags around his face. Jisung, broader, more actualized, now grown into his features but still undeniably soft around the edges. Jisung, with thick framed glasses pushed up his nose and silver hoops dangling from his ears. 
A stranger. But undoubtedly Jisung. 
“You look…nice.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly with his free hand.
Three words is all it takes. Ice turns to fire. The blood that had drained from your face returns with the blaze of a thousand suns, anger burning your throat. 
You reach forward, grab the remote for the neon Open sign and click the power button. Jisung watches in confusion.
“The shop is closed.” you manage on a shaky breath.
Jisung sighs, something heavy. “Listen, I’m—”
“The shop–” you try again, louder, “–is closed.” 
Jisung stares. His eyes are still the same velvety brown; big and round and just as you remember. 
There was once a time where the sight of Jisung in your Grandma’s shop made your heart sing. A soft tune, the thrum of a thousand harps, a song only for him.
His heart-shaped smile as he helped her hammer some of the shelves onto the wall. The sound of his laughter whenever you’d enter a sneezing fit from accidentally rubbing your face with a gloved hand. His rosy cheeks, burnt from the wind whipping past his face as he ran on foot to make sure you were okay the one time an angry customer smashed a vase on the floor and you called him crying.
But now, seeing him here, a stranger in a body you once knew like the back of your hand— it feels wrong. 
“I…” he trails off, registering the way your fists are clenched at your sides. 
“Okay,” he resigns, licking his lips. “I, uh– have a good night.”
He gives you one last look, bottom lip pulled tight between his teeth, and then slips out the door. You watch his retreating figure through the glass panel, dark gray skies muting the sound of your rattling heart.
It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. Jisung is back.
And in Jeju– it rains.
There’s an apple tree in the middle of town where Jisung told you he loved you for the first and last time. 
Off the corner, a few minutes down the road from where your houses stand a mere five hundred feet away from one another.
Your grandparents were farmers. Your grandma started her floral business a few years before you were born, a dream she always had that your grandpa urged her to pursue once he decided to sell the animals to a younger, more capable couple that could take care of them. 
Jisung’s parents, new residents on the island, looking to settle down and start a family. 
That’s how it happens. Yours and Jisung’s story, two authors of the same book, destined since the start.
Jisung was born on the same night your mother left you at your grandparents’ doorstep. One note, an apology, is all you’ve ever known about her. Your grandma never cared to indulge you. You’re glad in a way. She provided more than enough love to make sure you never felt an absence in her wake. 
The townspeople used to say you and Jisung were soulmates. Something about the heavens knowing he would need a friend, hence why you were delivered that night. From that moment on, the two of you were inseparable. 
Attached at the hip, you and Jisung grew up together. First steps, first birthdays, firsts for everything under the sun.
Jisung was there in the morning to walk with you to school and he was there at night when the two of you tucked into bed, sleepovers a regular occurrence, both of you counting the pale green stick-on stars dotting his ceiling until you fell asleep. 
Jisung was always around. He held your hand and walked with you to the nurse’s office the first time you got stung by a bee. He wiped your eyes when the boy you liked told you he only ever saw you as a friend, your first rejection. He sat with you under the stars the night your grandpa died, your face tucked into his neck as you stained the collar of his shirt with tears until you were too tired to cry. In the years that followed, he took care of you and your grandma like the two of you were his own. 
Jisung, for lack of a better word, was your first forever.
“You could come with me, you know.” 
Under the stars, real ones that time, Jisung had turned to you and offered the world. 
The air was cold. The apple tree was bare.
“It’ll be fun. We’ll be together, we’ll experience new things. I can do music and you can study all that history stuff you like to learn about. You know, nerdy things.”
“They’re not nerdy things, Ji. Don’t you know everything we have now is because of what’s happened before us?” you’d asked. “Doesn’t it make you wonder? Learning about the past helps us better understand the present, and ultimately the future.”
Jisung had hummed softly, an agreement. “I don’t care about the future, though.” he’d said. “I care about right now. You, me, this.” 
When you turned to look at him, he propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at you from above as the moon casted a halo around his head. 
“I love you,” he whispered, “And I want you to come with me.”
Jisung, with all the stars in his eyes and a heart full of dreams. Jisung, with the world at his fingertips and the ambition to make it his own. 
You, with all your hopes stuffed tight into a suitcase and chained to a boulder, thrown into the ocean. Sinking and sinking until it hit the bottom.
“I love you too,” you whispered back.
Images of marigolds flashed behind your eyes when you closed them, a tear rolling down your cheek. Jisung’s mouth was soft when he kissed it away, salt on his lips. Burning. 
“But I can’t.” you choked. 
Under the apple tree, Jisung told you he loved you for the first and last time. He promised that the distance would be no match for him, that he would traverse oceans to find his way back. He promised forever.
It was February. The tulips were in bloom. Jisung left to pursue his dreams with a guitar on his back and your heart in his hands. Your understanding of forever was shot at point blank. The bullet passed clean through you. 
And in Jeju– it rained.
“I think you should talk to him.”
The sun is out today. Perfect weather for another field harvest. The distributor had called you early in the morning to ask if you’d be willing to accept a drop off even though it’s the weekend. You’d agreed, calling in your most reliable help for the job.
“And I think you’re not helping.” you huff, snipping the head off another hyacinth.
“Agreed,” Hyunjin parrots from beside you, currently in the middle of putting together an arrangement, “This guy sounds like a total dick.”
Chan sighs from behind the two of you, his knees knocking against the legs of the desk when he swivels back and forth in the chair. 
Besides Hyunjin and Jeongin, both of whom moved into town after you’d already graduated, and of course, Jisung– Chan is your oldest friend. 
Chan was also a neighbor of yours. Three years older than you and Jisung, he was the one who acted as a role model for the two of you when growing up. Nowadays he helps his parents run the largest orange grove on the island during the day and DJs one of the clubs in the tourism hub at night. 
“Jisung’s not a dick, he’s just–”
“An asshole.” you finish, smirking when Hyunjin cackles. 
Chan sighs. Again. “Yeah okay, I’ll give you that one.”
“Listen, I know I’ve never met him, but isn’t it weird that he just, like, showed up?” Hyunjin asks, setting down his scissors. You continue trimming the hyacinths, listening halfheartedly.
“I mean, think about it. Dude disappears to pursue music, right? He’s gone for what– three years?”
“Four.” you correct.
“God, even worse.” he grimaces.
“But yeah, okay, four years. And then boom! He just strolls in through the front door without so much as a word during the time he was gone? No letters, no phone calls, not even a damn visit. Nothing! All so he can pop up and go ‘oh, you look nice’? Come on.” he scoffs, crossing his arms.
You wince, caught off guard because you’ve never really heard it phrased as bluntly as Hyunjin put it just then. It’s no surprise that he’s annoyed, having only just heard the full story thirty minutes ago. He’d been shocked, partly because you never told him and also because he just couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Okay, yes, he was wrong for that. But isn’t part of you even just the least bit curious as to why?” 
You pause mid-snip, mulling Chan’s words over in your head.
The most frustrating part about it all is that you are curious. You wish you weren’t, though. Not when you’ve spent the past four years trying to convince yourself that you don’t need to know what Jisung’s been up to, don’t need to know if he’s been okay since he clearly held no concern for you in that regard anyways.
“What?” you ask when you realize that both boys are staring at you. 
“Well?” Hyunjin pushes. “Are you?”
You shrug. “No, not really.” 
There’s a total of five seconds that pass before Hyunjin is stomping over and hauling Chan up out of his chair, pushing him towards the front door as he protests.
“Out! Out, out, out, we have important business matters to discuss.”
“But we were supposed to get lunch—!”
“We’re taking a rain check!” Hyunjin fights back, shoving him out of the shop before he has a chance to answer. He drops the shade to cover the glass, Chan’s sad figure left alone on the other side.
You gape at him. “What was that for?”
Hyunjin scoffs. “You think you’re convincing? Think again.” 
He hops up on to the counter and gestures for you to do the same. When you do, he pulls you closer, grabs your hand in his, and pushes your head down until it’s resting on his shoulder. 
“Tell me the truth now,” he says, soft. “I know there’s more to it.”
Hyunjin’s warm to the touch. The heat seeps through the fabric of his shirt, igniting the skin of your cheek until you feel like you’re standing too close to the sun. A star. Hyunjin is a light in your tunnel.
“I am curious,” you start, “About him, I mean. I’ve– I don’t know. It’s been so long. I tried to pretend I didn’t care when I saw him, but the minute I looked into his eyes it was like I was eighteen again. Eighteen and happy and looking at someone that I always thought would be there, you know?” 
Hyunjin hums but doesn’t say anything. He squeezes your hand once, a signal to keep going. 
“I’m scared, though. Part of me doesn’t want to know.”
Hyunjin takes a deep breath. “What are you scared of?”
Through the gaps in the beads you can see into your office, the picture of your Grandma hanging on the wall. She stares at you, unblinking. 
“What if he tells me that it’s true?” you ask, lifting your head to look up at him. “What if he says that I was right, that he didn’t care? That he left and didn’t want to call because it no longer mattered to him? That he loves his life there and only came back to clear his own conscience?” 
“Oh honey,” Hyunjin soothes, pulling you into his chest. You hadn’t realized you were crying, that the anger and fear had bubbled over until there were tears falling down your cheeks, wetting the fabric of Hyunjin’s sweater. 
He lets you cry for a while. It’s nothing new; Hyunjin has seen you break down countless times. He’s been there through the worst of it, held your hand even in the aftermath. He’s picked you up off the floor more times than you can count, has grounded you when you felt like the world was gonna open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Salt of the earth, returning you to its core.
Once you’ve quieted into nothing more than shallow breaths and a few scattered hiccups, Hyunjin speaks again.
“Can you be honest with me?”
You nod, the hair stuck to your cheek with tears rubbing against his shoulder. 
“Do you love him?”
It nearly knocks the wind out of you. This concept, so foreign to you now, shoved to the back of your mind to make room for the things that matter most. Hospital visits, labor cuts, wage increases— none of it left any room for love, let alone the thought of someone else. Especially someone as all-consuming as Jisung.
Slowly, you inhale, breath shaking on the exhale. Hyunjin squeezes your hand to remind you that he’s there.
“I don’t think I ever stopped, Hyune.”
The silence stretches thin. The realization is dizzying. Years of suppressed emotions, of telling yourself and everyone around you that it wasn’t a big deal. The sad eyes of the townspeople whenever they’d see you sitting beneath the apple tree. The gentle touch of your grandma’s hand when she’d find you on the front steps alone, staring at the stars. The soft hum of the radio in the shop, set to a playlist of all the songs he’s written, the only reminder that somewhere out there he was doing well.
The final crack in the dam, its water pushing until it gives way.
“Then you owe it to yourself,” Hyunjin says. “You owe it to your heart to get an answer. Free yourself from this pain, love. Don’t let yourself suffer forever.”
Forever. That word again. No matter how many times you’ve tried to escape it, it always comes back.
“It’s gonna hurt.” he sighs, tightening his grip when you sniffle. “It’s gonna hurt so fucking bad, babe. But you can take it. You’ve got people who love you enough to stand in front of you and soften the blow from time to time. But you’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
He hops down from the counter and moves to stand in front of you, right between your legs. Placing both hands on your shoulders, he pushes until you’re sitting with your back straight and lifts your chin. 
“You deserve an answer.” he says, with conviction this time. “Okay?”
He lets his thumb swipe beneath your eyes, smiles softly. Unconditional— that’s what he is. Hyunjin burns brighter than any star in your sky, the heat wrapping its arms around you like it’s too scared to let go, to watch you freeze and die out like so many others. 
“I don’t deserve you, though.” you say, laughing wetly when he rolls his eyes.
“Shut up,” he chuckles, pulling you in for a hug, “You deserve everything and more.”
When Jisung comes into the shop two days later, you’re ready for it. 
Chan had talked to him. No surprise, really, not when he’s been letting him crash in his spare room ever since he figured out that he was holed up in one of the hotels out in the tourism hub. 
If there’s one thing about Chan, it’s that he’d rip the shirt off his back to clothe anyone in need. Housing a friend is nothing, especially when that friend is Jisung.
“I don’t know how much of a consolation this is,” he’d said nervously, watching as you regarded him with an expectant look, “But he’s pretty cut up about you not wanting to see him. Which, I know, is stupid. He is the one who fucked up. But I just– I don’t know. I’ve never seen him like this, I guess.”
It’s not a consolation, not really. Knowing that Jisung is struggling is far from anything you want to hear. 
Sure, there’s anger present. Anyone would be stupid to not feel the least bit frustrated with what’s happened. Years lost, time stripped away. But you’ve long since come to terms with it, the anger turning to sadness in the meantime.
“Also, he leaves tomorrow.” Chan smiled sadly. “He really wants to talk to you before then.”
Hyunjin left early again today to give the two of you space. Not before making a show of his own though, threatening to incite violence with his arms that are supposedly ‘shredded’ from years of lifting boxes filled with petunias. 
The shop is slow again, not many sales nor a lot of foot traffic. Usually when the sun is out there’s more to do; people to see, smiles to give. But there’s nothing, just the chirping of birds and the sound of cars rolling by. 
Maybe the world knows that this is what you need. The calm before the storm. 
Five minutes until close. You’ve spent most of the day pacing back and forth. Waiting. Anticipating. 
Chan had said Jisung planned on stopping by, trying again. You’d told him that was okay, and his eyes lit up. Too much hope, maybe, that something might come of this. 
You’re seated in the back office, staring at marigold colored irises when the front door opens. You hear it this time, ears fine tuned, waiting. 
Slowly, you stand, make your way to the front. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you pull back the beaded curtain and Jisung’s figure comes into view. 
He looks the same as he did the other day: curled hair, thick glasses, parted lips. His sweater, fluffy and striped, hangs off of his shoulders in a way that boxes off his tapered waist, one that you know is hidden beneath all the layers. The sleeves are way too long judging by the way it curls over his fingers. 
“Hi.” he breathes out, watching as you step into full view.
You blink. “Hi, Jisung.”
His name feels weird on your tongue. Bitter. It’s been years since you uttered it, forbidding yourself from the luxury out of fear that it would make his absence more real. Talking about him in the past tense always scared you off before you could even get the chance. 
“How– How’ve you been?” he chews on the inside of his lip.
You want to scold him, tell him to stop the habit just like you always would in the past. He’d make a joke then, tell you to kiss him so that he had something else to do instead. You would laugh, feign disgust, but in the back of your mind you’d wanted it more than anything. 
You’d waited for it, the day you could kiss him without warning and melt into his touch as he kissed you back. Another stupid bet on forever; the belief that you had all the time in the world for things to get to that point.
“I’ve been better.” you say, taking a deep breath. “What about you?”
Good, you think. He’s been good. He looks good. He doesn’t need this place.
“Me too.” he says instead. “I’ve been better.”
You don’t know what to say to that. Silence fills the room, heavy on both your chests. The anticipation feels like it might kill you before anything else does. 
“I’m sorry that–”
“Is that all you came here to say?” you cut him off.
“What?” he asks, confused. “No, I– no.”
“What, then? What is it you want to say, Jisung?” your voice is firm. He winces when his name leaves your mouth. “Because, honestly, I’ve waited all this time to hear literally anything from you, and if all that comes out of this is that you’ve ‘been better’ I might actually lose my fucking mind.”
The words tumble out faster than you intend. You can’t help it, not with the way anxiety has been bubbling over in your chest since the moment you woke up this morning. You could barely sleep last night, not when you were playing out every possible scenario in your head, the anticipation of it all making your sheets feel scratchy against your skin and the lumps in your pillow more discernible. 
“No, no, of course I wouldn’t do that.” he says quickly. “It's just that I didn’t know where to start. I don’t know how much you’ll allow me to say, what the boundary is here. I didn’t want to just barge in and demand you listen to me. You don’t owe me that. You don’t owe me anything. Not after what I did.”
What I did, his voice rings loud in your ears. He’s aware of it, of the pain he caused. 
He takes a step forward, and then another, again and again until he’s right up against the front counter, an arm’s length away. 
Your breath catches then, when you see him up close for the first time in four years, see the way he’s grown and changed with your own eyes. 
Stubble dotting his chin, laugh lines around his mouth, the dip and curve of the bow above his lips that you always loved. Brown eyes, soil and stardust. 
“Tell me what your conditions are,” he says quietly, “And I’ll give you every explanation I have.”
The sincerity on his face is blinding. Your stomach twists at the thought of hearing what he has to say, that same fear brewing in the pit of it. You take a deep breath, feel the phantom ghost of a hand squeezing yours and a crescent moon eye smile. 
“I waited four years for you.” you say.
“I know.”
“I trusted that you’d be back. That you would keep in touch during the time you were gone.”
“I–” his voice cracks. “I know.”
“You lied to me.”
Jisung tips his head back then. Swallows down a lump in his throat. Blinks rapidly at the ceiling, veins of ivy crawling along the expanse of it.
“I know.”
“So you owe me everything. I deserve that. I deserve answers.”
When he brings his head down to look at you, it’s unreadable. A mix of emotions that you aren’t familiar enough with anymore to decipher. Fear, guilt, sorrow. Hope, too. Maybe.
You stare at him head on, fully letting your eyes meet for the first time in what feels like an eternity. He holds your gaze, unwavering. Determined. The sight makes your heart clench. 
“Okay,” he says after a beat of silence. “Okay. I can do that.”
Despite the ever-growing mountain of things to address, you decide that the first thing you want to hear from Jisung is about his time in Seoul. 
You’re only human, after all.
Best friends from the start– you can’t stop yourself from wondering what life has been like for him. Jisung’s always been good at storytelling, animated in his features and gestures to the point that you’d be rolling around and clutching your stomach from laughter. It’s one of the things you missed the most, just talking and being present in one another’s lives.
The two of you end up at one of the diners down the road. The owners, an elderly couple, coo as soon as they catch sight of you.
“My flower girl,” the old lady, Mrs. Kim, greets.
“Mrs. Kim,” you beam, moving in for a hug. When you pull away, Jisung is behind you, hands clasped behind his back and feet together like he has his tail between his legs.
“Halmeoni,” you say, gesturing at him, “Do you remember Jisungie?” 
His eyes go wide at the nickname, and you try to ignore the heat creeping up your neck, avoiding his gaze and instead watching as Mrs. Kim blinks in surprise.
“Oh! Oh my goodness, our Jisungie? Honey! Honey, look, Jisung is here! Oh you crazy boy,” she scolds, rushing forward to hit his shoulder and pull him in for a hug. “Where have you been? It’s been ages!” 
Jisung lets out an oof! as her body slams into him, all of his anxiousness dissolving into laughter as he hugs her back. 
“Hi Mrs. Kim, how have you been?” 
“Me?” she asks, pulling him away to hold at arm’s length, “Nevermind about me! I’m old! How have you been?”
Good, you think again, a mimic of earlier. Jisungs eyes flit over to yours for the smallest of moments before he answers.
“Better,” he says. “I’m doing better.”
Once both Mr. and Mrs. Kim are done doting over the both of you, they seat you by the window.
The island is always beautiful on sunny days: trees swaying, golden rays painting the rooftops in hues of pink and orange, the indigo shimmer of the ocean off in the distance.
“So,” you say, catching Jisung’s attention, “Tell me about Seoul.”
He hums. “It’s busy. Stinks. Lots of people.”
“Dream come true, yeah?” you joke, taking a sip of your water.
Jisung chuckles. “You could say that, I guess.”
“I mean, it was yours.”
“It was.” he sighs, looking down at the table. “I don’t know. It’s nice. I met good people, made even better connections. I live in this one bedroom studio apartment just outside of Itaewon, so I’m close to where all the foreigners hang out. I’ve learned a lot, gained a lot of inspiration for my music.”
You follow along, staring at him intently. His mouth, still heart-shaped, twitches when he catches you in the act.
You clear your throat, glancing away. “Yeah, I’ve– uh, I’ve heard some of your songs.”
He raises his eyebrows, almost like he hadn’t expected you to say that. “Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I hear them on the radio sometimes.” A lie. “It usually takes me a second to realize that it’s you.” Another lie. “But they’re good, you’re doing well.”
Pink dusts the tops of Jisung’s cheeks as he turns back to the window, clearing his throat.
He looks younger like this, like he’s still the same boy who would sit across from you all those years ago. Cherry-stained lips and a smile so bright it put the sun to shame.
He talks a bit more about his music, about how he’s with a good company that gives him creative freedom and enough support to pursue more if he desires.
His eyes light up when he tells you about his studio, a small room on the fifth floor of a building in the middle of the city where he does all of his writing. It’s equipped with an entire soundboard, full of instruments that he says he’s been able to get signed by artists that come in and out. Most notably, his guitar, the same one he left with. 
Slowly, like a flower blossoming, petals opening one by one, you feel yourself falling back into step with him.
Everything is so familiar: the curve of his smile, the tilt in his voice when he gets excited, the rumble of laughter when he recounts an embarrassing run-in with an A-list celebrity in the company’s cafeteria. He shares stories that fill your heart as the two of you fill your stomachs.
But with the ease comes something more, something you recognize as longing. You hadn’t realized how much you longed to be there through this part of his life, how you wished you’d been the one to answer a video call as he showed off his apartment the first day he moved in, his company badge when it was newly issued, every moment of happiness that you’d been absent for just as much as he was absent for yours.
He seems to share the same sentiment then, when he sets down his fork and stares at his empty plate. 
“You run the shop now,” he says, “How’s that been?”
You purse your lips, nodding your head slowly. You knew this conversation would happen, that it was coming.
“It’s good, I guess. Been almost a year now since, uh, it was left to me.” you shrug. “I’m not alone though, Hyunjin is a big help. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
Jisung noticeably bristles. Eyebrows pulled together, staring more intently at a crumb on his plate. It looks like there’s a lot he wants to say, like he can’t find the words to say them.
So, naturally, you do it for him. 
“I assume Chan told you so I wouldn’t have to, by the way.”
He looks up then, as if he wasn’t expecting you to address the very obvious elephant in the room.
“He did, yes.” Jisung says after a while. His voice is quiet, gentle, like he’s walking on eggshells. “I– I didn’t know how to bring it up. I assume you’ve heard it all already but– I really, really am sorry to hear about Nana.”
The way her name sounds coming out of his mouth turns your mind to static.
Suddenly you’re in the hospital again, monitors beeping, hands as soft as petals cradled in your own and wishing that you could bury your face in a familiar neck as you cried and watched the marigolds wilt. 
“I don’t need an apology for that.” you croak, blinking back tears. Jisung is somewhere in your periphery, your vision blurry around the edges.
“It wasn’t sad. Her life, I mean. It was full. Of love. Of light. She left this place happy. That’s what she told me, at least.”
You take a deep breath. “So don’t be sorry about it.”
Jisung sniffles, and the sound shoots straight through your chest. 
“I know. I just– I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should’ve been. I had no idea that–”
“Nobody did, Jisung. Don’t punish yourself for that.”
He sees it then, when you finally meet his eyes, the acceptance. You’ve come to terms with things a long time ago, have fought tooth and nail to come out on the other side of all the guilt and resentment and grief alive. Scathed, but alive nonetheless.
“You’re right.” he sighs, wiping at his eyes quickly. “She’d probably yell at me for saying that.”
You laugh, suddenly, the noise startling him. Jisung looks at you like you’re crazy.
“I think she has a lot more to yell at you for than being sorry that she died.”
The bluntness punches a chuckle out of him, and you giggle at the thought.
Your grandmother was always such an outspoken person. She always said what was on her mind, speaking it loud. There’s no doubt that if she was here she’d be berating Jisung, smacking him upside the head before pulling him into a hug and cooking his favorite meal. Tough love, but still, love.
“She would’ve loved to be able to see you.” you say once your laughter dies out, the air a bit lighter between the two of you. “She always wondered if you’d grow your hair out without her around to nag you about keeping it short.” 
He reaches up to run a hand through his curls, the strands falling around his face in a way that has your heart stammering in your chest.
“Well, clearly I don’t know how to listen.”
“No, you don’t.”
Jisung smiles softly. “Maybe I’ll cut it now. You know, since I’m here. And because I know she’d want me to.”
You watch him carefully, searching his eyes. For what, you don’t know. All that’s in them are stars. 
“Yeah,” you say quietly. “You’re here.”
By the time the two of you leave the diner, stomachs full and enough bags of extra side dishes hanging off of your arms to last you at least two weeks, courtesy of Mrs. Kim, the sun is almost fully set. 
The ocean is calm, the evening breeze just barely brushing the surface of the tide. Jisung walks in step with you down the street, one side of his face cast in a glow from the sun’s fading rays. 
“Do you think you’d maybe want to stop by the arcade that Old Man Park runs? Just for a little?”
You snort. “Why? So I can embarrass you?”
“Hey!” he puts a hand on his chest, offended. “I’ll have you know that I let you win all those times.”
“How do you let someone win after spending hours practicing while I worked at the shop?”
“I was being nice!”
“Uh huh.”
“Don’t believe me?” he grins. You try not to look, afraid of how bad your blood pressure might spike from the sight. 
“I’ll have you know that I’m one of the best Kart Rider players in the PC Bang scene back in Seoul.”
“Jisung,” you scold, “That’s a computer game. These are coin-ops. There’s way more skill needed.”
“No there isn’t!”
He knocks his shoulder against yours, tucking his chin to his chest to hide his smile when you try to fight back.
It’s easy. Nice. There’s a soft melody echoing in the dust-covered chambers of your heart. You still know all the chords.
Old Man Park’s arcade is a few doors down from the shop. You stop there to drop off the food, spare a glance in the mirror hanging in your office to fix your hair.
Your grandma’s picture stares at you from the other wall, eyes bright.
“Love you,” you say, kissing the skin of your fingertips and pressing it gently against the frame.
Jisung is toeing at a few rocks on the sidewalk when you walk back out. He doesn’t see you, too busy with his eyes casted down at the concrete, hands shoved into his pockets. 
It’s still hard to believe that he’s here. Flesh and bone. For a long time it felt like he was nothing but a distant dream, someone who only existed in the memories that you kept locked deep within your heart, the key somewhere on the streets of Seoul.
“Ready?” you ask.
He looks up, his glasses moving when his cheeks round into a smile.
Something passes across his face– a myriad of emotions in just a fraction of a second. Hesitantly, he holds out his hand. Long, delicate fingers.
You stare at it, swallowing roughly around the butterfly wings flapping inside your throat. 
The one thing you shouldn’t do, my dear, is rely on forever. Because that, too, is uncertain.
Forever isn’t promised. But even then, there are things you know for sure:
It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. Jisung is here. Living, breathing, in the flesh. 
So you take his hand, watch as relief floods his features, and let yourself feel.
The wind in your hair, the calluses on Jisung’s palms, and the warmth radiating out of the smile that threatens to split his face into two.
And with that certainty, the two of you start walking. A silent agreement to focus on the now.
You. Him. This.
“God, I can’t believe everything is only one coin.”
You laugh, watching as the multi-colored lights cast a glow on Jisung’s face. 
“Stop acting like you don’t remember this place.”
“I don’t!” he argues, smiling. “We stopped coming here, what, in middle school? Once Chan hyung started driving? We would always ask him to take us to the other one out in the big town!”
Chan’s first car was an old Camry with leather seats and enough room for the three of you to pile into after school. Used, but still with enough juice to satisfy three young kids who felt like they were on top of the world.
You used to sit in the back, the wind whipping your hair every which way while yours and Jisung’s hands lay side by side in the middle seat, pinkies brushing but neither of you willing to take it further. 
“Oh, shit!” Jisung gasps, letting go of your hand as he runs up to the space invaders machine. 
“Here we go,” you sigh, following after him. He’s like a kid in a candy store, face filled with innocent wonder and joy.
“Aren’t there, like, I don’t know– things better than this in Seoul?” you ask as he shoves a coin into the game.
Jisung turns to look at you with a devilish grin. “Obviously,” he says, “But I can’t beat anyone’s high score over there. Here though? Ha! This place is ancient. I can finally be at the top of the leaderboard in something.”
“We’ll see about that.” you mumble, the noise of the game booting up drowning you out. 
Jisung sticks his tongue out when he focuses really hard on things. It’s cute, the way the end of it sits between his lips, spit-slick and parted just a little bit.
He’s glowing, probably because of the lights, hues of red and green and blue flashing across his face. But then again, Jisung has always shined brighter than anything. 
The game beeps to signal that he has one life left. He grunts a few times, his fingers tapping the buttons madly as his other hand handles the joystick in a frenzy of movements.
When it ends, he groans, throws his hands up in defeat.. 
You shake your own head knowingly, watching his eyes bug out of their sockets as soon as the leaderboard appears on the screen, the 8-bit letters blinking at him. 
“You’re joking.” he laughs in disbelief, turning to stare at you. “Please tell me you’re joking.” 
There, on the screen, is your name. The highest score. Jeongin and Hyunjin’s names sit just below you, respectively.
“What was that again about finally being able to be at the top?” you mock him, smirking.
“Since when did you get good at this?”
You shrug. “Had to find something to do in my free time.”
“No,” he says, rolling up his sleeves. “Nuh-uh. No way. This is not happening. I will beat you.” he holds out his hand for another coin, to which you roll your eyes and place one in his palm. 
“You might as well give up now. We’ll be here all night.”
“In your dreams.” he scoffs, assuming his position as another round loads onto the screen.  
Jisung has always been competitive. It’s one of his more hidden characteristics. 
It persists still, you realize, as you watch him burn through the styrofoam cup of coins that Old Man Park had given the two of you. Free of charge for old time’s sake.
Fort-five minutes. All he’s managed to do is bump Hyunjin down to fourth.
“Ugh!” he groans, kicking the machine lightly with his foot. 
“Look at you throwing a tantrum.”
“I’m not throwing a tantrum.” he pouts. You raise an eyebrow.
“Okay fine. I’m throwing a tantrum.” 
“Thought so.”
“Can you blame me?” he asks. “This is, like, our first date. And I’m sucking. Hard.”
“Our–” you stop, eyes wide. Jisung mimics you, almost like he didn’t mean to say what he did. 
Heat rushes to your cheeks. Your mind goes blank. But the world doesn’t end. Time keeps moving. Jisung is still here.
“I didn’t–”
“I like the sound of that.” you say quickly. “Of this being our first date, I mean.’
He smiles. Slow and sweet like molasses. Blinding.
“And the fact that you suck.”
The moment is shattered, his resulting whine echoing throughout the arcade.
“Come on you big baby,” you laugh, grabbing his hand. “I know a game you can beat me at.”
He lets himself be pulled, pretending that he’s upset, but you can see the smile tugging at his lips when you lace your fingers together.
The feeling is still new, this ease you have with him. The wounds you sported all those years are still healing, some more fresh than others. But with each laugh that comes out of Jisung’s mouth and shared glance, every note that your heart sings, you can feel them beginning to fade. A balm to soothe the burn.
The Pac-Man game is situated in the back corner of the arcade, right next to the jukebox. It used to be your favorite, because Jisung would always use his own coins to play songs for you while you tried to score higher than twenty-five thousand points. 
When you get there, he frowns. “The only game you think I can beat you at is Pac-Man?” 
“I don’t think,” you say, grabbing a coin before shoving the cup into his chest. “I know.”
The game boots up instantly, and you smile softly to yourself when Jisung moves wordlessly behind you, slips a coin into the jukebox.
“Play something good, Jisungie.”
He freezes. Out of the corner of your eye you watch him stare at you for a long moment. And then he smiles. Stardust.
“You got it.”
In a matter of seconds, Lovers In A Dangerous Time by Bruce Cockburn rings throughout the arcade, the speakers on the ceiling fighting past the static.
An old song. The same one your grandparents would dance to in the mornings, eggs on the stove and love in the air.
Your grandma used to say it was written for them, because when they fell in love the war was at its peak and she didn’t know if he’d ever come home. 
After he passed, she still played it, except those times it was Jisung who twirled her around and painted a smile on her face as you watched from the same spot you grew up in. Always there.
Jisung, Jisung, Jisung. 
When the game starts, you try your best. It’s hard. You’ve always been terrible at anything involving quick decisions. Focusing on everything at once isn’t easy for you, that much is still true. 
“Shit.” you mumble, the top right corner of the screen reading ten thousand points as the ghosts run into you.
Jisung lets out a low whistle. “Harsh.”
“You wanna go back to space invaders and waste the last of our money?” you raise an eyebrow. 
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. Go ahead.” he says, holding the cup out for you to take another coin. 
You try a couple more times, failing each and every one. You can tell that Jisung is growing more and more amused with every attempt, and the smugness radiating off of him is starting to rub you the wrong way.
“If you’re so good,” you say after a particularly sad attempt, turning to glare at him. Jisung has his lips pulled tight to stop himself from laughing. “Then why don’t you try?”
He chuckles then. “I’d rather help you, if you’ll let me.”
“How are you supposed to do that? We only have one coin left.”
Jisung doesn’t say anything. He puts the cup down, the last coin held between his fingers. You watch as he slips it into the machine, move to get out of his way once he’s done, but he stops you by grabbing your hand and spinning you back around, his fingers placed over yours on the joystick. 
With your back flush against his front, caged in by his arms on either side, Jisung takes a deep breath.
“This okay?” he asks right next to your ear, the curls on the side of his head brushing your cheek when he leans down to get a better look at the screen.
Warm. He’s so warm. The material of his sweater only worsens the heat, and the faint scent of vanilla makes your head swim.
It’s more than okay. Great, even. It’s Jisung. Everything and more.
“Yeah,” you say, letting him control your hands as he flicks the joystick. “It’s okay.”
The hair against your cheek moves when he smiles. “Good.” he says, and then hits the start button.
The game begins but you’re barely processing what’s happening, too aware of the feeling of his body pressed against yours. 
A firm chest, different from what’s observable on the outside, what with the fluffiness of his sweater and soft features. His arms too, encasing you, the bulge and flex of his biceps every time he moves.
It’s all so intoxicating, so much so that you don’t even realize you’ve beaten the highest score in the system by the time he loses his last life. 
“What?” you blink. “What the hell?!”
You laugh, spinning to face Jisung who’s grinning from ear to ear. In your excitement, you jump, flinging your arms around his neck. He’s surprised, but catches you nonetheless, circling his arms around your waist.
“Holy shit how’d you do that!” you squeal while he swings you around, feet off the ground.
“Magic, I guess.” he chuckles. 
The closeness of his voice brings you crashing back down, suddenly aware of what position you’re both in. You pull back quickly, clear your throat, and watch as his face falls from the loss of contact.
It’s been a long time since you hugged Jisung. The thought transports you to that day four years ago, standing under the apple tree, the future uncertain. Forever promised.
Things are different now.
“Sorry,” he backtracks. “I didn’t– um, I wasn’t trying to–”
You cut him off by throwing yourself at him for a second time. Intentional. Breathless. Tired of running and acting like it’s not the thing you want most in the entire world.
Jisung doesn’t react until he feels your face against the skin of his neck. On instinct, he hugs tight, hands around your waist, breathing in the smell of your hair.
“Hi.” you whisper against him. 
One word. Simple. However the weight of it sends a chill down his spine. It feels like home. 
He tightens his hold. A silent understanding. The two of you never had much of a need for words anyways. 
“Hi.” he whispers back.
The apple tree is much bigger now.
Long, thick branches, a wide trunk, a slight tilt in its shape.
It’s bare. The season is long gone. But it’s okay, because it means that the view of the stars isn’t blocked when you and Jisung lay beneath it.
It’s the same but it isn’t. There’s gaps– periods of time where the two of you grew separately. There are moments and memories tucked away that neither of you know about, whole lives to discover. 
But even so, it feels right. His arm wrapped around you, your head on his chest. The stars and the moon. You and Jisung.
It’s nice. Perfect, even. But there’s a conversation that needs to be had. One that can’t be put off any longer.
“Ji.”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
Jisung shifts beneath you, tightening his hold. The grass is damp. Neither of you care, too caught up in each other to stress about whether or not it’ll stain.
“Of course.”
“Am I ever gonna see you again?”
He takes a deep breath. “Yes.”
“You said that last time.”
“I know.”
“So what makes this different?” you ask, sitting up. He watches you carefully, eyes trained on every movement like he’s scared you’ll get up and run away.
When he realizes you’re waiting for an answer, he sits up too, pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. 
He doesn’t say anything, just wordlessly reaches into his pocket. Silently, he hands whatever he grabbed to you. A guitar pick.
It’s white, a marbled design. Golden flecks infused into the lines. There, on the front, is a singular marigold. When you flip it over, you’re met with a tulip. 
“Do you remember that one time, when you called me crying at midnight because Nana told you that she didn’t know if she’d be able to afford school in the city?”
You nod silently, still turning the guitar pick over in your hand. 
It was one of those nights where the rain was relentless. Monsoon season always tagged on to the tail end of the school year, bringing with it a more intense gloominess than usual. 
You’d been angry. Stressed. Irritated that other kids at school were making plans to go to the mainland for college and you were stuck helping your grandmother trim foliage and wrap vases in newspaper.
“You told me that you couldn’t do it anymore.” Jisung whispered, staring up at the sky. “That you were tired of being here. That you needed to get out.”
You remember. Jisung had walked through the rain to show up at your window. Had climbed in with muddy shoes and sat on the floor of your room with you until the downpour stopped and your tears dried.
“And I said that I would make it happen, that I would invent a way to live amongst the stars so you could be as far from here as possible.”
“So what?” you ask, looking at him. “Did you finally do it, then? Is that why you came back?”
“Don’t be like that.”
“No, Jisung, I’m gonna fucking be like that.” you scoff, rising to your feet. 
There’s a fire in your veins, stoked until the embers are burning hot against your throat. Too good to be true. You should’ve known that there was no explanation left for him to give.
Jisung scrambles to his feet. “It wasn’t like I wanted to–”
“Oh like hell you did.” you say, turning to face him. “Four years, Jisung. I waited four years and you just– you come back and decide to tell me about some make-believe bullshit to save yourself and feel less guilty about the fact that you left.”
“It wasn’t make-believe to me,” he argues. “It was real. Everything I said was real. I left and I tried for years to make something of myself so I could come back here and get you.”
“Oh so it’s my fault? I made you leave, is that it?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“So then say something else!” you yell. The stars rumble, threatening to fall out of the sky. “Say something else, then, Jisung. Why didn’t you call? Huh?”
“Because I–” he stops, licks his lips. “God. Fuck. I couldn’t face you if I had nothing to show for myself, okay? It wasn’t fair to you for me to leave you behind just so I could fail.”
“Ha!” you laugh, running a hand through your hair in disbelief. “So you decided to go radio silent instead? Decided to not only leave me alone but let me suffer and wonder about where you were because that’s so much better than telling me that you were struggling, right? Great choice, Jisung. Really.”
He blinks a few times, watching as you pace back and forth in the grass. 
Anger bubbles deep in your gut. This whole time, he knew. It was a conscious decision. Jisung deliberately didn’t contact you because he chose not to.
“Did you ever even love me?”
The words tumble out before you can stop them. Jisung’s entire body goes rigid, his face falling and eyes hardening within a fraction of a second.
“Watch what you say.” he says, his voice low in his chest.
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just be honest.”
“I’m trying.” he pleads. His eyes are glossy. Big and round behind his glasses. Illuminated by the moon. 
“I fucked up, okay? I prioritized myself and the way I felt over you and fucked everything up. But I tried. I tried so fucking hard. And I’m sorry it took me so long but I wanted– no–  I needed to make sure that I had everything figured out before I came back. I promised I would.”
“No, Jisung, you promised me that–”
“I’m not talking about you.” he says then, taking a deep breath. “You weren’t the only one I made promises to back then.”
Before you have a chance to speak, Jisung says, “I promised her. I told her I’d get you out of here. That I’d give you a life that you deserved, because she knew she couldn’t.”
You drop to your knees when the first sob hits, the force of it racking your body so hard you feel like you’re drowning. Jisung catches you on the fall, holds you up, lets you bury your face into his neck like he had so many times before.
“She told me you believed in forever. She wanted me to give that to you. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
Jisung lets you cry. He holds you through the storm, your wails as loud as thunder and tears as heavy as rain. Four years in the making; the sky and the earth colliding until the dirt and layers of sediment give way to the molten core that’s been hiding beneath the surface all along.
Pain. Grief. All of it pent up and leading to this moment. 
“You should’ve told me.” you cry, beating a fist into Jisung’s chest. “You idiot. You fucking idiot. You should’ve told me.” 
Jisung pulls you in closer, takes each hit as long as it means that it’ll soften the blow on your heart. He whispers apologies in your ear, runs a hand through your hair. 
When it quiets again, the worst of the storm gone, he shifts so that your head is in his lap, his legs crossed and tucked beneath him. A few stray tears wet the fabric of his jeans, your eyes focused on the field of flowers across the street.
“I won’t ask you to come with me.” he says after a long while, when your breathing has evened out. “I know that things are different. You have a life here that you’ve made for yourself, responsibilities to bear as well.”
He pauses to push a few strands of hair out of your face. His fingers are gentle against the skin of your cheek.
“But I promise it’ll be different. I spent too long away from you, was too selfish for my own good. I won’t disappear again. I’ll call every day. I’ll visit. You’ll get every part of me that I kept away from you all this time, and I’ll get every part of you in return.”
Your heart thrums. The thought of having what you’ve wanted for so long. Of having Jisung.
“And when you’re ready, when you feel like you can’t do it anymore, there’ll be a place for you.”
His voice is firm. Confident. More sure than he’s ever sounded before in his life.
When you turn to face him, he’s already staring back. Jisung, with all the stars in his eyes and a heart full of dreams. Jisung, with the world at his fingertips and the offer to make it yours.
Under the apple tree, Jisung leans down and kisses you for the first time. Twenty four years in the making, soft and slow, his lips a perfect fit against yours. A starboy and his flower girl. His glow is so bright it makes blossoms sprout from her fingertips.
Soft curls tickle your eyelids when he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours. You reach up to run a hand through them, smiling softly when he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. 
“I love you.” you say first this time. 
He reaches out a hand, closes it over your fist that’s still clutching the guitar pick. A marigold and a tulip, both working together to make a perfect harmony. 
“I love you, too.” Jisung whispers back. “Forever.”
Jisung stops by the shop early to say goodbye.
There’s less tears this time, less of a reason to be sad. But still, when he wraps his arms around you, vanilla filling your nose and curls against your face, you feel your composure crumble.
“Every day.” he says, repeating the same thing he did all night. “I promise. Morning and night. Also at lunch. Oh, and on your days off. Matter of fact, you can call when you’re on the toilet too.”
The last part earns him an elbow to the ribs, his laughter bubbling up and out of his throat as he tries to dodge any and all subsequent attacks.
He kisses you stupid before he goes, Chan rolling his eyes from his car out front. You flip him off blindly, Jisung’s lips still attached to yours, earning a loud honk in response.
When he leaves, the shop is quiet, the only sound being the buzzing of your phone as Jisung blows it up with text messages the second the car pulls away.
You’re too busy replying, giggling to yourself when a slew of cute emoticons start appearing one by one, that you nearly fall over out of your chair when Hyunjin bursts through the door.
“Jesus Christ Hyune, did you have to–”
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, breathless. 
“Uh,” you blink, glancing round. “Working?”
“Is Jisung not on a damn plane right now?”
“I mean he’s on his way to the airport. Chan is–”
“Chan hyung told me that Jisung wanted you to go with him.” Hyunjin says, brow furrowed.
You sigh. “He didn’t want me to go with him. Well, okay, he did. But I told him I can’t just pick up and leave. He knows that. Nana left this place to me and���”
“You are so stupid.” Hyunjin sighs. 
“Excuse me?” you ask. You stand up, crossing your arms as you walk closer to the counter. 
“Come on. We have to go.”
“Go where, Hyunjin? I’m not leaving to–”
He cuts you off, places an envelope on the wooden surface. “And I am not letting you stay here and pretend that this is what you want.”
“What is that?” 
“A plane ticket.” he says, pushing it towards you. “To Seoul.”
Your mouth opens and closes, lost for words. Hyunjin is already moving around the counter, pushing past you with an expression the most serious you’ve ever seen on him.
“Hyunjin I– I can’t– where did you even…?”
“Chan hyung has a friend.” he mumbles as he begins pulling stuff out of the office. Your planning notebook, your apron, the picture of your grandma off the wall. All of it thrown into a small box he managed to snag from somewhere off to the side.
“His name is Seungmin or something. Met him out in the tourist hub. Dude’s super rich with tons of miles and apparently owed Chan for a drunken night where he needed to be escorted to his hotel. So thanks to him, you’re leaving.” he explains as he grabs the box with both hands and starts walking towards the door.
“Wait.” you stop him, watching as he turns to regard you with a look that says his patience is running thin. 
“I told you I can’t leave, Hyunjin. This place is where I need to be.”
He huffs, places the box on the ground in front of him. His hair falls in waves around his face, a shimmery dark brown beneath the rays of the sun poking into the room. 
“Can you be honest with me?” he asks. 
You nod, slowly. 
“Do you love him?”
Hyunjin watches you with careful eyes. Reads you like a book, something he’s always been good at. You don’t doubt that it’s written on your face. Star-kissed cheeks and eyes as bright as marigolds. 
“So much that it hurts, Hyune.”
Hyunjin smiles, eyes watery. “Then you deserve to go. You deserve your chance to be free. Don’t worry about this place, I’ll take care of it.”
The familiar sting of tears sits behind your eyes. Your heart swells full of love for this friend, this light, this beacon of unconditional love in the shape of your best friend.
“I don’t have clothes.” you manage to say around the lump in your throat.
Hyunjin shakes his head, tears spilling down the bridge of his nose. 
“I’ll send them to you.”
“There’s a lot to do around here for just one person. What if you need me?”
“I’ll manage.” 
You round the corner quickly, throwing yourself into his chest. He catches you with ease, wraps his arms around your body as the both of you cry into each other.
“I’ll miss you.” you say weakly.
Hyunjin’s throat bobs against the top of your head. “I’ll always be here in our little corner of the world.”
The two of you stay like that for a while. Hyunjin’s warmth seeps into your skin, lights you ablaze. By the time he pulls away, his hands on your shoulders, you feel like you’re floating. Unreal.
“I don’t have a way to get there.” you say quickly, glancing at the clock. 
Jisung’s plane leaves soon. The airport, the only one on the island, is a thirty minute drive. You’re at a disadvantage the more time you spend not moving. 
“Don’t worry,” Hyunjin chuckles. “I’ve got that taken care of.”
You open your mouth to ask him what he means when you’re cut off by the sound of honking from outside. Confused, you run to the door, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize who’s waiting for you.
“Hurry up people we don’t have all day!” Jeongin calls, his upper body hanging out of the window. He’s parked outside in a beat-up truck, arms waving wildly when he spots you.
“Innie!” you scream, pushing through the door to run at him. He jumps out of the truck just in time for you to barrel into his chest, laughter loud in your ears as he spins you around. 
“You’re here! Oh my god I thought you weren’t coming for another two weeks.” you say in disbelief once he puts you down.
He looks older, more sophisticated. His hair is rusted and falls past his ears, the ends just barely touching his shoulders. 
“Yeah, well,” he shrugs. “I figured I’d show up earlier. You know, see you before you leave, catch up with my parents, help Hyunjin break into your house. The usual.”
“Help Hyunjin break into my what–” you say, but you stop when your eyes fall on the small suitcase in the backseat. Your own bag, the one that’s been sitting in your closet untouched for years now.
“For the last time,” Hyunjin says from behind you, carrying the box in his arms. “It’s not breaking and entering if I have a key. Which, by the way, I told you would come in handy one day.”
He sets the box down next to the luggage and dusts his hands on his pants. When he turns to face you, he’s smiling, eyes disappearing into crescent moons.
With tears threatening to spill once again, you stare at the both of them, your heart bursting at the seams. “I love you guys.”
Jeongin grimaces, opts for getting back in the driver’s seat as you laugh. Hyunjin rolls his eyes and ushers you inside of the truck.
“Yeah, yeah. Save it.” he says. “Right now, you have a plane to catch.”
The airport is crowded. 
There are tons of people everywhere, some saying hello and some saying goodbye. Hyunjin explained the gate system to you before you left him and Jeongin on the curb, and you keep glancing down at your ticket to make sure none of the information has changed in the past thirty seconds since you last looked. 
Thankfully, your gate isn’t far. With twenty minutes to go until boarding, you can feel the sweat building up beneath the hand that’s curled around your suitcase handle. 
It’s scary thinking about the fact that this is it. That you’re finally leaving. 
It’s bittersweet, too. There’s an excitement in the pit of your stomach as well as a feeling of dread in your chest, both of them meeting in the middle somewhere. 
You let your eyes scan the crowd, searching for wavy hair and thick-rimmed glasses. However, the first thing you see is the familiar neck of a guitar, strapped right on to a back that you would know and recognize anywhere without warning.
Jisung is seated near the gate, his eyebrows furrowed and lips set in a pout as he glares down at his phone. You realize that he’s probably wondering why you won’t answer, why all of his emoticons are going ignored. 
Quietly, you come up behind him, reach into your pocket, and say, “Excuse me? I think you dropped this.”
Jisung startles, his eyes falling on to the guitar pick being held out in your hand. Slowly, he lets his gaze follow upwards, wide-eyed and shocked.
“What– what are you doing here?” he asks. 
You place the pick in his hand. “I'm on my way to Seoul. There’s a guy there that I’ve been trying to find for a while.” you say. 
Jisung catches on quickly. “Oh, really?” he asks, moving over so you can sit beside him. “This guy must be pretty great if you’re leaving for the mainland.”
The rain starts hitting the tarmac outside right as you sit down. “Hm, yeah. He is. He really likes the stars. He says that he found a way for me to live in them, too.” 
He laughs, the sound making your stomach flip. “Sounds like you’re excited.”
You nod. “I am. He promised me that we’d do a lot together, experience new things. Apparently he’s gonna write songs and I’m gonna be a nerd.”
Jisung snorts and reaches across to link his hand with yours.
“He’s really lucky.” he says, leaning over to plant a kiss on your lips.
You smile into it. “So am I.” you whisper into his mouth, your heart stuffed to the brim with flower petals. 
And when Jisung smiles back, his other hand coming up to cup your cheek and give you another kiss with the force of a thousand suns, you feel the key you’d been searching for finally click into place. 
Salt of the earth. Soil and stardust. A boy who glows so bright that his girl sprouts blossoms from her fingertips. 
Forever isn’t promised. But then again, with Jisung by your side, there are things you know for certain:
It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. In Jeju– it rains.
And no matter what, despite all odds, you and Jisung will always find your way back to each other in the place where marigolds grow.
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[tags: @skzstarnet @snowyquokka @palindrome969 @summergirlsmj @n1staytiny @drhsthl @strwbrrychannie @shays-library @giuliadesu @iknowyouknowminho @linocz @pynchkilledme @jisunglyricist @itsgghowitsgg @alician87 @skzms @meloncremesoda @ilychee08 @allaboutsan @legally-lixs @stayceebs97 @candyquokka @chans1aptop @liknws @realrintaro @beeracha @vxllxnsworld @feelikecinderella @caitxx1 @lilac13 @sebastianswhore13 @classiclitandmemes @hyunverse @linosazuna @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @bubbly-moon @cookiesandcreammy ]
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thegeneticopera · 8 months
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after seeing many misconceptions on the ages of the characters and also the general lack of knowledge on relevant key events, I thought I'd create a timeline!
A comprehensive breakdown of important dates in Repo! The Genetic Opera:
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1993: Rotti Largo was born (July 14th)
2006: On April 5th, the first ever death for NOS (Neuro-Overstimulation Syndrome) was recorded. GeneCo was then founded later that month in Milan, Italy by Giuseppe Largo and Dr. Michael Whatley who eventually discovered a treatment using an experimental drug called Zydrate and genetic manipulation.
2011: Marni was born (No date)
2016: Nathan was born (No date)
2017: Blind Mag was born (July 5th)
2019: Luigi Largo was born (November 20th)
2024: Pavi Largo was born (September 29th)
2025: By this point, The Genetic Opera, an interactive TV show, was sponsored by GeneCo to promote designer organs and keep the public "status-conscious" in order to continue boosting profits.
2032: Carmela Largo/Amber Sweet was born (August 23rd)
2035: Graverobber was born (No date)
2036: Marni brings Mag to meet Rotti Largo
2039: Shilo Wallace was born (August 27th), Marni Wallace dies, Nathan becomes a repo man
2040: Mag's eye transplants (March 21st)
2048: Blind Mag's Corpus Crusade tour
2053: Tao of Mag, a charity concert event held for blindness
2056: Rotti signs his last will and testament, declaring Shilo as the sole heir of his estate (August 7th). The events of the film take place on November 7th - Nathan, Rotti, and Mag die. Shilo presumably goes missing. Amber takes over GeneCo at a later unspecified date.
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Some common misconceptions cleared up by the timeline:
Mag did not receive her eyes at 19, the date listed on her repossession chart says otherwise
Marni and Mag have a relatively large age gap. At the time in which Marni brought Mag to meet Rotti, she was already 25, and Mag was only 19. I personally like to think that Marni was a singing mentor of some sort (since in Chase the Morning we see that Mag has a memory of Marni singing), and perhaps worked with disabled people and this is how they met!
The age difference between Shilo and Graves is only 4 years!
Mag and Luigi only have a two year age difference. Her being under GeneCo's thumb since she was 19 and Luigi was 17 is probably why they have a relationship.
On that topic, Nathan is only 3 years older than Luigi, there's no way him or Mag could have "baby sat" the Largos as children if they're all approximately the same age (excluding Amber, but considering Nathan had his own daughter to raise and was a repoman and Mag was a world class opera singer I still doubt that would be the case)
This one doesn't have a specific date, but I felt it should be added regardless: Pavi's face disfigurement seemingly happened very recent to events of Repo! We see several times within the film that there are posters and billboards of him with his original face, even in the pictures Rotti has he didn't have the scarring yet. The posters say that GeneCo offering face replacements will be happening in 2057. Pavi was the one in charge of that, and he was stealing faces prior to his scarring (as seen in the pictures). We also know from several sources, including Luigi himself, that Pavi's face happened because of a botched surgery. It's safe to assume this was because of the new face replacement campaign that was being offered, and it was within the last year or two before the events in the film.
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sanjisluvbot · 2 months
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Isekai Yandere Strawhats Chapter 2
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Previously| next
The days turned to weeks and weeks to months soon, that world was a thought of the past. Y/n had continued to her regular life going to school, hanging out with friends, and having her biggest worries being what time her assignments were due.
She didn’t throw away any of her old books or posters with those characters on them instead she put them in a box under her bed. Just so they were right beneath her feet if she ever wanted to return and fantasize about maybe a different time, maybe if things would’ve gone differently. 
The seasons were beginning to change March would soon become April. It had only dawned on the girl today that a year had passed since she first started that journey. Sitting by the window as the birds chirped in glee, Y/n finally had some time to dive into her memory.
A year ago Y/n had just met the straw hat pirates. She appeared in their life so suddenly, and little did she know they would become so easily enamored. She laughed to herself in disbelief then rubbed her hand through her bangs, “ How could I be so stupid?” she said to herself.
Opening her curtains for the rays of the sun to wash over her reminded her of tanning with the girls on the Sunny, in the beginning, it was just so sweet, wasn’t it?
With a sigh, she got up from her bed and waltzed over to grab her remote from the desk turning on the TV hoping to drown out the memory of a certain someone. The shows were white noise as the face of Trafalgar Law was all she could focus on. 
A call from her mother had made her jump and she quickly made her way out of her room. “ Yes, mother?” She said walking into the living room. Her mother smiled and handed her a letter. The envelope was black with no writing on it and the seal was yellow with a small bear on it.
Y/n bit her lip, not wanting to get too excited in front of her mother and for herself, who knows if this letter is from who she thinks it is?
She thanked her mother and quickly made her way back to her room shutting the door with her back. The pit of her stomach grew butterflies and nerves flared inside of her. She turned off her TV and sat on her bed using her thumb to unseal the envelope.
There were two letters inside marked with red and blue at the tips of the corner. Pulling the blue one out first she swiftly opened it and began reading.
Dear Y/n, I wonder what you’ve been doing all this time. I know you got back home safely, I can feel it in my bones. I debated on whether or not I should just go see you myself but I figured it was better to let you enjoy your time with your family for now.
I have been able to avoid clashing with BlackBeard thanks to you and I have been able to gather more research on this gateway between our worlds. I won’t go too in-depth in this letter but I can say that we have a lot to talk about once we meet again. After you left the strawhats also left me alone without a word or a fight. Within the next month, we will meet but it will take some effort on your part as well. Please read the next letter for additional information. 
L. 
Y/n felt ecstatic, finally after months of wondering what happened to Law there was an answer, directly from him at that. She tossed the note beside her pulled out the red-tipped letter and began reading.
There were instructions and illustrations explaining how to open a gateway directly onto the polar tang where they could travel with ease. It was a method without shifting that wouldn’t be so strenuous on both parts.
At the end of the letter, there was a small warning, “ It will take time, over a month on your end to make sure that the gate is stabilized so as soon as you read this you should get started.”
With a smile on her face, she followed both letters back into the envelope and began to follow the instructions. The instructions were relatively easy but there was a reason she needed time.
Step one, keep the mirror on your door as clean as can be that will be the gate. Step two, ensure any other mirrors are not facing the gate including your television.
Step three, keep your curtains open as the sun will help charge up the portal. The other steps were simple as well, don’t keep anything plugged in at night, and keep a diet consisting of greens. 
Y/n had a new pep in her step and everyone around her noticed. Y/n had smiled more often and life at home seemed like a fantasy for her parents, they never had to ask her twice to complete chores or help out with anything around the house.
The first week of April swings by and exam season is brewing up, Y/n spent time studying with her friends in the library. " Y/n me and y/f/n are going to get drinks real quick."
The girl waved her friends off too focused on her current textbook. A minute passed before she was interrupted again by a text message. Her mother was telling her she needed to pick up something for dinner, she sighed and decided to take a break from studying and possibly find a book she could take home.
Out of interest Y/n took to the supernatural fantasy section. Wondering if she could find any books relating to portals and how they work.
At the top of the shelf there was a black hardcover with the words open your mind written in script on the spine. Reaching up she grabbed it, ‘ Open Your Mind written by N.R’. The book seemed to be brand new, the pages crisp and the cover silky smooth.
Returning to her seat Y/n began to read. Her friends soon returned and hours had passed as Y/n fell into the fantasy world of N.R. The book was about a women who had a found family and was able to discover the mysteries of her world. The chills ran down her spine when she realized how similar it had been to one piece.
Although there weren’t any pirates Y/n couldn’t shake the feeling of having heard a few similar stories within her favorite series. Bitting her lip she closed the book on the third chapter, not wanting to spoon herself while with her friends.
Y/n tucked a strand of her behind her ears and told her friends she would be off as it was getting late. Waiting for the bus questions popped into her head.
There is no way one of them could be here right?
Law made sure they didn’t have a way back right?
It’s been so long since she was filled with this much anxiety. The cool spring breeze wouldn’t cool her nerves and the palms of her hands filled with sweat.
The bus finally came and she stepped on seating herself in the single seats. Her head rested on the window and she silently watched the cars zoom by leaving colorful glares.
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🏷️: ( new tag list, reply to be added to next update )
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A/N: Welcome back to the drama!!! I’m so excited to begin this new journey again and I am so happy everyone enjoyed the first part. I don’t currently know how long I want this part to be but I will have a schedule in my Masterlist of when I will update.
Extra: What do you think about the letter?
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into-the-feniverse · 2 months
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New week new brainrot new timeline, this time for the Trigun 98 anime!
More detailed timeline with episode marks: google sheets
High res file & additional Trigun resources: bit.ly/trigunresources
Note: This probably works best as just a sequence of events rather than a strict timeline (since all of 2 actual dates were given in the entire series and there's some conflicting dates being given💀). But it does help showcase just how much it delineates from TriMax though!
Rest of the timeline & additional notes under the cut!
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Notes:
Let me start off by saying: If you thought the TriMax timeline was rough, that was nothin compared to this (which BEFORE I FORGET: I revised the TriMax timeline, so if you saw that just know it’s been updated! )
Interestingly, unlike TriMax and TriStamp, the 98 anime seems a lot more linear(if that's the right word?). The series timeline pretty much starts and stops within a 130 year timeframe, rather than establishing the PE system by when the seven cities were first constructed. (This also makes 98 Vash the youngest of the Vash iterations by at least 20 years, maybe that’s why he's like That)
The two dates given were the Destruction of July (July 21, PE 0104, 2:06 pm) and the day Meryl typed up her report: July 20th (2 days after the Monev the Gale incident, over 4 and a half months after being handed down their orders which was back in early March)
Note: In the dub, Meryl says they were "handed down their orders last December", but in the sub it's "in the city of december". I went with the sub info cause that seems more correct, but you could always argue that the months on NoMan's Land aren't the same as Earth's. (in which case July has got to be a really long ass month with how much supposedly happens in it)
Legato makes a remark at the Fifth Moon incident that July was 23 years ago, which is why I placed the start of the anime at PE 0127
Before Meryl is told about the Vash sighting in Little Jersey, Karen makes a comment about how they “spent 5 months on the outside working with a dangerous man who’s been labeled a human disaster”, I interpreted this as their entire time on assignment was 5 months (including the 3 months before they first encountered Vash) which is why I placed the Fifth Moon incident in August) but could also be interpreted as they actually traveled with Vash for 5 months (which if we assume is starting off when they first encountered him (in June) would place the Fifth Moon incident in October like in TriMax. I just find it hard to believe that 3 months elapsed between Monev and Augusta but to each their own!
No time frame was given for how long Vash was disguised as Eriks (as far as I could tell), and for the latter half of the anime I could not for the life of me find any other relevant date marks so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ free for all. I assumed it was around 2 years though, maybe a smidge more, just to neatly align the the end year at 0130
For the keen eyed observer, the May City shooting competition documents further exacerbates how messed up the timeline is (so I blatantly ignored them) but as you can see it places the year as 0131, and then the competition is being held on April 1st (1th?) and Wolfwood entered Vash's name on March 31st. The other info on the forged data sheet is kinda funny though
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Additionally, I couldn't find any clear indications of how old Wolfwood actually is in the series, but he was 7 when he shot his guardian and trained under Chapel the Evergreen for 10 years
Lastly: for those like me who can't stand having to re-read events (and are looking to start reading TriMax): You can pretty much skip Volume 1 and just start with Volume 2 (ch 13-20). Just know that Meryl & Milly only met Vash starting at the InEpril city incident (In the manga it's a city in Voldoor, not InEpril explicitly)
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mrs-johansson · 25 days
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Escape from LA - Lisa Manobal x Fem!Depp!Reader
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Part 4:
A few articles were written about Blackpink coming to see my shows in LA and how Lisa and I had dinner but nothing serious.
A couple of weeks went by as the tour kept going, visiting cities all around the US. I loved every minute of being on stage finally and seeing my fans sing the new songs.
Lisa and I talked every day. With the time difference, it was a little difficult to keep our conversation going but we managed most of the time. I did a little digging because I wanted to know who she was involved with, who this said boyfriend was, and dude… She could do so much better. Yeah, he was awfully rich and influential in France but damn.
I started writing some songs in my free time, being inspired by a lot of things lately and it’s always relaxing to me when I can write.
It was already the end of March when the tour reached New York. And since I’ll have 15 shows in Madison Square Garden, we’ll be here for a while.
“So when are you leaving New York?” Lisa asked over the phone as I walked around the arena. “On the 15th. I have two off days,” I said. “Two? Isn’t that way too few?” “I’ll be fine. How was the show yesterday?” I asked as I sat down at the back of the arena staring right at the already built stage. “It was so fun. Such a good vibe from everyone, I loved it. I can’t wait for you to see it,” Lisa’s excited voice made me smile from ear to ear. “Ah me too, I'm already looking for dates when I can just run off to a show.” “Summer is still so far, you sure you won't have any free days sooner?” “I don’t think so but I’ll check again later. When’s your next show by the way?” I asked. “8th of April. Tokyo, I haven’t been there in so long.” “It seems like I’ll only reach Asia in years, but it’s just a couple of months.” “Yeah, your tour is so long, I don’t know how you do it.” “I will lay in bed for a whole year after this tour ends,” I said and Lisa chuckled which made me smile. She has such a good aura all the time, it’s so energizing.
We talked for a little while then I had to go to rehearsal so we hung up. I got my mic and the dancers arrived soon too. Went through the whole show with everyone, checking the speakers and mics and instruments then I got into hair and makeup before finally sitting down to have an early dinner.
***
“Okay, your favorite part of the show… Reading signs. These get crazier with every day so let’s see…” I walked around the stage looking at different signs that people were trying to rise higher and higher. I spotted the first interesting one before lifting the mic to my mouth and pointing at the girl who held the sign. “Hello there, do you mind me reading your sign out loud?” I asked and she said go for it. “Alright your sign says, I’ve bought a ticket to all of your MSG shows hoping you’ll sing ‘I’m yours’ at one of them,” I said and the crowd cheered loudly which made me laugh. “But that’s unreleased and old,” I said to her and everyone around her screamed that it’s a good song. “Maybe we’ll do that song, who knows?” I spread my arm out before moving to another part of the stage looking for more signs. Then I saw one and the word Blackpink grabbed my attention quickly. “Collab with Blackpink?” I read it out and the audience literally erupted. I let my head hang as I laughed. “Guys, I literally just met them. But wouldn’t that be cool? They are so nice,” I said with a smile. “Okay okay, one more then we’ll continue the singing,” I spoke into the microphone and searched for the last sign. When I found the one I went down to one of my knees to get a better look. “With this one, don’t be weird,” I looked at the whole crowd then back at the sign and its owner. “Hi, what’s your name?” I pointed at the girl. “Hannah,” she screamed and I was surprised how loud she was. “Hi Hannah, you have a very interesting sign there,” I said and she laughed. “But it’s true!” She said. “Well, can I read it?” I asked and she nodded enthusiastically. “So the sign has… a picture of me and an Englishman…” I said and the audience screamed. I chuckled, holding my head not knowing how crazy it would make the crowd. “Saying… I’m a child of divorce,” I said but the last word muffled into a laugh. “But we’re friends guys, there’s no trouble for you all,” I stood up and spread my arm, trying to make it into a joke. “Okay now, should we sing some more?” I asked and the crowd cheered. The music started in seconds and the show went on.
“Thanks, guys, great job,” I walked through backstage as I got rid of my mic and walked back to my dressing room to get changed. My phone rang as soon as I opened the door and saw the picture of my best friend on the screen. “Hey dude, what’s up?” I put the call on speaker. “I just wanted to tell you I just landed in the city, we can go out to dinner,” spoke Hailee from the other side of the call. “Sure thing, I’ll change and I’m ready. Where are you?” I picked some clothes and started to change while I waited for Hailee’s answer. “I’m on the way to the venue, I’ll be there in like 10 minutes,” she said. “Okay, tell the driver to come into the venue, I’ll let them know you’re coming.” “Cool, see you.”
Soon Hailee arrived and after I spoke to a couple of people, I made my way to the car. “What’s uuuup?” I opened the car door and Hailee looked up from her phone and smiled. “Hey, bro!” We hugged and I got in the car and we got on the road to the restaurant.
“How was the show?” Asked Haiz. “Really fun. It’s crazy that there’s 14 more here, I could basically move in,” I said then a text popped up on my phone.
Lisa💋
“What’s that?” Asked Hailee from across me and I just closed my phone shaking my head. “No one,” I shrugged and she raised her eyebrow. “Who are you texting with?” She asked, leaning a bit forward. “Just my sister,” I put my phone in my lap, trying to move it further from her. “I know you, who is it?” She asked more aggressively and she reached for my phone. “Nobody!” I took hold of my phone and held it far from Hailee so she couldn’t reach it. “Dude, just tell me!” She grabbed my arm and took my phone. “Okay! I’ll tell you if you give my phone back,” I said and she stopped for a second. “Tell me and I’ll give it back,” she said, holding the phone protectively. “You know Blackpink,” I started and Haiz nodded. “They came to the shows in LA since Lily is friends with Jennie and the girls came along and stuff-“ “Which one of them?” Hailee interrupted my speech and got to the main thing. “It’s Lisa. We kinda had a moment and we’ve been talking since,” I explained and she had a growing smile on her face. “Ooh, that’s juicy. Why didn’t you tell me?” She handed my phone back. “Well she kinda has a boyfriend but it’s also PR so it’s tricky but also not. But she’s so fun… and hot and sweet,” I leaned my head back to the seat. “And what kind of moment did you have?” She asked with a smirk. “We kissed. Then had a very short make-out sess. Dude, it was so good. It was hot and exciting and also sweet, I haven’t felt that in a long time. She gave me adrenaline and we met for two days,” I explained and Hailee smiled. “So what’s up with this boyfriend? Is he famous?” She asked and I searched him up on Google and gave her the phone. “Oh… yeah he is uhm… he has some money,” she cleared her throat and handed the phone back. “Is he competition though?” Hailee raised an eyebrow. “She said they tried dating but it didn’t work out but I’m not sure about that,” I said. “Well, what did she text?” Asked Hailee and I went to my messages and then read her text out loud. “‘I just got your gift! Thank you so much, I love it!’ With lots of heart emojis.” “Ooh, what did you send her?” “Pink roses, those are her favorite.” “That’s cute.”
We soon arrived at the restaurant and we had a great dinner and caught up on recent events. The paparazzi were there once again even though we tried to keep it low-key.
***
As the shows passed by, I started to feel really comfortable on stage in New York and I had lots of fun. The fans didn’t lose their energy even at the fifth and sixth show which was so good to see. I was enjoying every minute and it felt so electric to be there that I never wanted to stop.
When the 10th show rolled around I started to feel a little tired so I was happy to have an off day tomorrow.
Lisa and the girls will have another show tomorrow in Tokyo before they have a two-week break and as I know she’s going to Paris for a little then they go to Vegas to prepare for Coachella. She said she would try to come but won’t promise anything. Not gonna lie I was hoping she would show up even just for a day.
I was back on stage in just a blink of an eye. My off day just flew away as I slept kind of the whole day.
“So we have 4 more shows left to go here in New York. How was it so far?” I walked along the stage, trying to see more of everyone. The crowd cheered loudly, and I just couldn’t contain my smile. “Aw, it’s so nice to hear this. You know when we started I was a little afraid of how my stamina would be but so far you guys give me so much energy and I am so thankful that you keep coming to the shows. I’m forever grateful for your love,” I spoke into the mic and I slightly bowed as the audience expressed their love. “This will be my longest-running tour and I honestly can’t wait to see more of you all around the world. I’m excited for what’s yet to come and I love how dedicated you guys are, coming to multiple shows and camping outside the arenas. I will thank you for this for the rest of my life and more!” I spoke so honestly because today I felt extra special because of the fans and the amazing things they do for me. “And now… for the next bit, we’re gonna slow things down…” I walked back to the mic stand at the main part of the stage. “This is Pretty Boy.”
***
“Hey pretty girl,” I picked up Lisa’s call. It was late at night by the time she called. I was just sitting on the balcony having some wine and writing a little.
Lisa chuckled over the phone and I instantly smiled as I heard. “Hey 아름다운(beautiful),” she said and I stopped for a second. “Ooh, what does that mean?” I asked, clearly still not picking up on Korean. “It means beautiful,” said Lisa, and I felt heat fill my cheeks and I just chuckled. “You really need to teach me some basic Korean, I need to know what you are all talking about when you put me on speaker. Every time you do that I just hear yelling,” I said and Lisa laughed. “I will teach you, but you’ll have to prepare yourself, it’s hard.” “You speak 6 languages and I speak two. If it’s hard for you I will pass out by just learning.” “Nooo, you’ll be great at it,” she encouraged. “Hopefully. How’s Paris by the way?” I asked, then sipped my wine. “I haven’t done anything yet. I’ve been in the hotel since yesterday.” “And any plans while you’re there? Or just relaxing?” “No plans just hanging around. How was your day off? Did you sleep enough?” Asked Lisa. “Yeah, basically slept all day. It was so nice, I barely got out of bed,” I said. “You need to have breaks more often or do something for your health, your schedule is terrible,” Lisa spoke and I smiled at how cute it was that she looked after me. “I know, but I’m doing great. I sleep, eat, and train so I can keep up with the shows, no need to worry.” “Yeah yeah. The girls have been missing you,” said Lisa, and I smiled. “Aw I miss them too, can’t wait to see all of you,” I said and there was silence for a couple of seconds. “I miss you, it’s been boring here,” Lisa’s now softer tone reached my ear. “I miss you too… Can’t wait to kiss you,” I said a little shy and nervous about her reaction. “Ugh don’t tempt me to just get on a plane and fly there,” Lisa groaned and I chuckled. “Would it be so bad?” I smirked as I moved my things inside. “No, but at least we will be in the same country in a couple of days,” she said. “Yeah, just a couple hours away then, that's an improvement. How’s Coachella coming together?” I asked while I got under the cover of my bed. Only left one light on by the bed and just laid there, listening to Lisa talk. She was telling me all about their prep for Coachella and how exciting it was for them but the only thing I could focus on was how husky her voice sounded and how I wish we were in the same place. “Did you fall asleep?” The question brought me back to focus. “No, I’m here. I just… nothing. I hope I’ll make it in time for the show, I’m just way too excited to see you perform. Although I will probably blend in with the fans because I’ll be screaming every song and jumping around,” I smiled knowing that something like that would happen but maybe I exaggerated a little. “I will notice you, I’m sure.” My smile grew even more and I think I blushed even. This back-and-forth flirting was fun not gonna lie.
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agentmmayy · 5 months
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2023 monthly music rotation
it's been a hot minute since i've made one of these, but here are all my favorite songs from each month of 2023!
january:
one i wanna be with - trella: oh bop!!!!!!!!!!! this ENTIRE SONG just makes me so happy!!!!!!! it’s so full of love!!! every lyric hits but especially i can’t help but wish we met before we did.
february:
antiques - holden laurence: god the desperation in this makes me want to claw my chest open and rip my heart out. the beat fucks in this jaunty rhythm that’s such a juxtaposition to the haunting lyrics and vocals. then the bridge?????? i promise to be strong i promise to believe in love that lingers on i’ll see you in my dreams. I’M CALLING THE POLICE. this is a tess/joel song. not only because of how apocalyptic this feels (which is a whole other discussion) but also meet me in the space between all the words unsaid when we could not speak meet me i’ll be waiting for you there. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
march:
borderline - tove lo: HOT. listen. everything tove lo writes and sings is inherently sexy i don't make the rules. this one especially wtf!!!!!!
unrequited night - lily kershaw: i- please respect my privacy at this time. this is a masterpiece. immediately a song i listened to laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. VERY tlou coded. (but then again every song i listened to in feb/march and lbr this past year was) AND THE GASP AT THE END GETS ME EVERY TIME.
april:
flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding. 
labor - paris paloma: the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 
may:
‘i’m just learning how to make peace with feeling small’ ‘but i might drive off if it gets too hard’ ‘there’s always a sunset that i wanna run into’ ‘i’m searching but i’m not lost’ and my all time favorite lyric that put me on the floor when i heard it the first time- ‘i’m a growing tree a few missing leaves i can’t shelter you don’t sit under me’ HELLO????? 
vagabond - overcoats: THIS song. this song has been the one i played the most in may because one it’s an absolute banger and second of all it read me for filth and the lyrics are so beautifully crafted and honest and pure and delivered impeccably. it’s a sweet, slow melody and coupled with the lyrics it reached into the depths of my soul and pulled out everything i can’t say and put it into this song like.
fireworks - JOSEPH: now for ANOTHER song that read me for filth. lately i’ve been feeling this exact way since all my friends and people around me have reached certain milestones in life- such as getting married, settling down, etc- that i haven’t and i’m left even more alone and bereft. but THIS SONG said that’s okay!!!!!!!! this song understood!!!!!! it said i’m not alone feeling this way!!!!
every lyric absolutely sent me through the roof but these especially:  ‘all these long songs might be no good for me’ ‘how long will i wait to be happy all my friends ask me’ ‘what if i’m wrong wrong to think there’s more to this story’ ‘an act of faith even though it hurts to shut that door am i holding out forever?’ ‘am i headstrong or foolish every night waiting for lighting to strike whole you’ve got blue skies?’ and my favorite- ‘i wish i could just flip a switch and accept your kind of muted bliss’ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again HOW did they put it into words!!!!!! this song has such a special place in my heart. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve not only listened to it but also screamed along and cried to it 
also, JOSEPH always creates the most compelling and just fun to listen to songs and this is no exception!!!!!!!!! the harmonies are delicious and the music dropping at certain points is incredible and the beat has me dancing around the room. filed right under beach music! 
moonlight - madison rose: i wore this song into the ground!!!!! AMAZING beat and vibe. liberating rejuvenating sexy etc etc.
june:
cowboy take me away - the chicks: me personally!!!!! my favorite version of cowboy take me away. i DO wanna touch the earth and break it in my hands but i ESPECIALLY wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall!!!!!!!!! every summer is cowgirl summer but this song just turned the dial to the max. never have i ever wanted a cowgirl summer more.
july:
satellites - emi larraud: this one was interesting! VERY 80s themed. it's funky. it's powerful. it's just groovy.
august:
wicked game - ursine vulpine, annica: alright i'm a sucker for these intense ballads especially when they remind me of the 100 but seriously. it's sensuous. it's an experience. the vocals are out of this world.
pretty boy - LEON: of course i had to put a LEON song on here. while this isn't my favorite of hers it was just so nice to get a new song from her again. i felt like a wilting flower getting watered. to no one's surprise it's a bop and delivers lines that absolutely wreck me such as you can't outrun getting old, that hidden place where hope lives, well that's the last it goes. ma'am!!!
september:
moonburn - dani sylvia: feeling very seen rn thank you!!!!!!!! literally spongebob leaning against rock.jpg every time i listen. it's- ough. this song has layers and i am peeling them back like an onion. when does the healing start if you leave before daylight. saying SO much in one line!!!!!!! it's the inversion of the typical light vs dark trope for me! and the chorus is immaculate.
super graphic ultra modern girl - chappell roan: chappell hit it out of the park with her first album and THIS SONG SPECIFICALLY. the absolute journey @152glasslippers and i went on listening to this... especially at 22 seconds in. WHEW. super graphic ultra modern girl IS THAT GIRL!!!!!!! SHE IS THE MOMENT!!!!!
october:
honest mistake - bears den: screaming shaking crying throwing up etc etc. bears den always writes songs that lift me by my ankles and shake me until every humiliatingly private thought comes tumbling out in the lyrics of their songs. also i love how consistent they are with the aesthetics and formality of their songs. it's very soothing while ripping me up inside.
mars - noelle: listened to this 60 times in a day. you don't understand i found this song 10/17 and spotify stopped tracking 10/31 and it was my most listened to song of the year. it's dreamy. it's sweet. the vocals are stunning and the music is fantastic.
heart to heart - now more than ever: banger. when that beat dropped i was shook!!!!!!!!!! it's a very early 2000s emo vibe but also delightfully contemporary? the vibes are there. oh and the lyrics and the way they're sung is amazingly bittersweet.
november:
swimming pool - jack kane: one of my favorites of the whole year. if spotify didn't stop tracking before november this would have been my top song. it is 100000% a slow sad groove bop. every time i listen maybe not physically but spiritually i am girl at table.jpg. formally this song is delicious and lyrically it is devastating.
december:
scorpions - distance sprinter : okay this one might be a contender for top song. impeccable. there's crack in this. the beat is OUTSTANDING. i literally can't play this in the car if i'm driving because i will start dancing. the vibes are off the charts. at no point in this song do you expect what's next. the lyrics are heartbreaking and beautiful. there's so much i can say about this song but i am gnawing on the words it's just so good.
TOP SONGS OF THE YEAR: these have 5 stars. to me. 6 stars even.
antiques - holden laurence
unrequited night - lily kershaw
vagabond - overcoats
fireworks - JOSEPH
moonburn - dani sylvia
swimming pool - jack kane
scorpions - distance sprinter
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magz · 2 months
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Palestine Summary. March 9 to March 11, 2024.
From "Let's Talk Palestine" (Instagram Broadcast Channel), quote.
March 9
• 82 Palestinians killed, 122 injured in Gaza in past 24 hours
• 2-month-old killed by starvation from dehydration and malnutrition in Kamal Adwan hospital + 3 children killed in al-Shifa hospital in the isolated northern Gaza, suffering the brunt of Israel’s block of aid. Bringing the total to 25 Palestinians killed by starvation
• Massacre in Nuseirat camp (central Gaza) kills 13+ Palestinians and many injured following Israeli destruction of a residential block, with the death toll expected to rise as many remain buried under rubble
🇸🇪🇨🇦 Sweden + Canada to resume UNRWA funding; Sweden to donate initial $20 million, with plans to allocate total of $400 million in 2024, while Canada set to resume funding in April
• 80% of homes in Gaza now “uninhabitable”, causing an estimated $30 billion in damages
• Anti-government protests in Tel Aviv calling for release of hostages + early elections, showing a growing disdain for the administration; met with clashes with the police
March 10.
• Gaza death toll surpasses 31,000, which doesn’t include the thousands buried under rubble
• Israeli forces deployed outside Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem attacked and beat Palestinians attempting to enter the mosque on eve of Ramadan, despite Israel’s claims of no additional restrictions on worshippers in first week of Ramadan. Previous years show increase in Israeli police raids & entry restrictions in Ramadan, with heightened restrictions a regular occurrence since Oct 7
• Israeli settlers establish outpost (unauthorized settlement illegal under Israeli law) in Ein al-Sakout in West Bank
🔻 Hamas claims drones dropped 2 missiles on Israeli command base in Beit Hanoun (north Gaza) + clashes in tunnel in Khan Younis (south Gaza) wounded & killed Israeli soldiers
🇺🇸 Biden says temporary Gaza seaport for aid will take 2 months to complete, despite criticism for US refusal to pressure Israel to permit aid entry through land crossings which is more immediate & efficient
March 11.
• 67 Palestinians killed, 106 injured in Gaza in past 24 hours
• As Ramadan begins with no ceasefire, Israel escalates attacks across Gaza as massacres in Gaza City killed 16 Palestinians in Sabra + 10 in Tal al-Hawa
• 2 children killed by malnutrition & dehydration in north Gaza as Israel continues obstructing aid distribution; a total of 27 killed by starvation
🌙 Gaza faces another level of hardship during Ramadan as fears mount following Israel’s increased attacks on Mosques + heightened police presence at entrance of Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem while Palestinians brace for expected abuse & restrictions
🇺🇸 Politico: Biden considers conditioning military aid to Israel for first time if they invade Rafah; in addition to giving Israel until March 25 to ensure compliance with international law on use of US weapons. Unconfirmed if this will actually happen, but is a new marker of the unprecedented strain on relations
• IOF abducts 25 Palestinians overnight in West Bank
March 11 reminder.
Hi community,
Today marks the first day of the sacred Islamic month of Ramadan in Palestine.
Historically, Israel has made Ramadan a nightmare — many Palestinians feel a creeping anxiety as Ramadan approaches, knowing that Israel usually clamps down more than usual (to understand why, read our post www.instagram.com/p/Cqq4wYDttSY/?igsh=enhjYWllNG4xam9u)
But this Ramadan has come after 5 months of Israel’s genocidal campaign on Gaza, as Palestinians wage a relentless struggle to survive today and liberate tomorrow.
So please, donate to Gazans at linktr.ee/fundsforgaza.
Make sure to boycott Israeli dates (and produce in general).
Be respectful and remember that this is not a normal time.
May we draw strength from our communities as we support Palestinians in Gaza and continue the fight to disrupt our governments’ complicity in this genocide. We can’t afford to stop.
(End Quote)
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josefavomjaaga · 5 months
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Hello, dear Josefa ✨
I hope you are doing well!
While Flower and myself were talking about our favourite couples of the napoleonic era, our conversation found its way to the Soults which we would love to group with couples like the Davouts or the Mortiers but can't because of the cheating on our monsieur le maréchal Soult's part.
With that in mind, we wondered: Do we know how madame Soult reacted to the cheating? How did her behaviour change through the first days, weeks, months after finding out? Did it even change?
We are aware that we don't know any details of the actual conversation where the couple discussed this matter but we still wanted to ask!
Thank you for your time and effort! c:
We do not really know, I fear. We do not even know when and how exactly she learned about Soult's little secondary Spanish family. It is quite possible that it did not come completely unexpected anymore, as people in Paris had been gossipping about Soult's alleged infidelities ever since 1810, and in one of his 1811 letters Soult kind of had admitted to a marital misstep.
If I remember correctly, Soult finally was granted permission to leave Spain by mid-February 1813, and could leave at the beginning of March. On his way through Southern France he took the occasion to go see his old mother in Saint-Amans, whom he originally had wanted to visit four years earlier, on his way into Spain. I do not remember (I'm not even sure if it is clear) if Louise and the kids already met with him in Saint-Amans or if they waited for him in Paris but I suspect they went to Saint-Amans and from there back to the capital that Soult reached at the beginning of April. He soon had to leave again, this time with Napoleon to Germany, on the 1813 campaign, and on 12 April he already gave full powers in all matters to his wife so she could handle affairs during his absence.
Did she at this point already know about the full extent of these affairs? It's likely, but we do not have any real clue.
She must have known by late June 1813, however (interestingly, that's the same time when, many miles away, Maria de la Paz Baylèn and her little baby son leave Spain and enter France). We know that because Soult in his letter fom 23 June at least vaguely hints at how hurt Louise must have been by his confessions. He invites her to come to meet with him at Dresden with their children, despite the fact that [...]
you will not be lodged very well, but you will be with me, your sorrows will cease, your cheerfulness will return, and you will be certain that, despite everything that has happened, you have never ceased to be tenderly loved [...]
"Despite everything that has happened" clearly means that by that point, Louise is fully aware of the existence of Maria de la Paz and her baby. And she had taken it badly, as was to be expected. Obviously, she doubted Soult's love for her, and she may have considered taking further steps, or at least that's something Soult feared:
I'm not talking about the other feelings, for nothing could add to their strength other than the step you're taking right now.
(All emphasis by me)
And then he continues to implore her to come and sit down with him and talk it all over.
So, obviously lots of trouble in honeymoon land. From the looks of it, I'd say Louise did not so much react with fury, but rather turned sad and depressed - which probably hit Soult far more. Her fury she apparently kept in stock for one French emperor to be used when she heard that her husband was about to be sent back to Spain again. But that's a different story 😁.
Thank you for the question, and I hope this kind of suffices, as it seems to be all information there is. (All quotes from N. Gotteri, "Le Maréchal Soult", as usual.)
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9w1ft · 1 year
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so many signs
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so i had this thing in the back of my mind that i wanted to share a little bit about, because i think it’s highlights a little bit of karlie’s easter egging prowess
so as many of you know, i have had a certain piece of jewelry identification that’s been top of mind for awhile. a mysterious (and hilarious) evil eye necklace that karlie first wore on her birthday last year, august 3rd, 2022:
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it took a long while to identify but with the help of @kwyw and @corneliastvendor and input from many more, we diligently settled upon a match with the brand Mejuri.
so
…i dunno if you remember, but back at the beginning of the year @kwyw also pointed out that there was an extra connection, between this evil eye necklace and the amulette de cartier:
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both talismans of Courage.
the amulette de cartier has its own place in kaylor lore (if it’s new to you you can read about that here and here and here). but, veterans of quarantine kaylor remember how this rep era necklace made a unique surprise appearance during lover/folklore era, ultimately coinciding with karlie’s 2020 pregnancy. which, given the symbolism of the necklace, i think made a lot of thematic sense… being pregnant during the height of a pandemic is scary and, speaking from experience, i as well found myself in search of things to give me that extra peace of mind.
so seeing the necklace have that Courage keyword connection, i couldn’t help but uhhh, have a feeling so peculiar. now, with the gift of more (celebratory) information, let’s take a look at all the times karlie has worn this necklace (*reminder that some of these may be a day off because of the big time zone difference between me and the US):
August 3rd, 2022 — (as pictured above) karlie’s birthday, she writes “cheers to new beginnings xx”
September 2nd, 2022 — this therabody promo, which many of us got a kick out of after midnights was announced, first because she mentions 3am (the name of the extra version of the album) and the word midnight and second because this tiktok is set to the tune of ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A Man After Midnight”
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November 19th, 2022 — a post captioned friyay, notably, wearing a loewe shirt, the designer who she wore to the met gala
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December 11th, 2022 — to a celebratory kode with klossy event for her young scholars
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December 13th, 2022 — she wore it as part of several instagram stories she had up on taylor’s bday (thank you @kwyw for the reminder 😆)
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December 18th, 2022 — she posted this the same day she posted the photos of her josh and levi at the ice skating rink (mikey and misha were there too) before heading to japan.
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February 3rd, 2023 — february.jpg
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and then, at the met gala on May 1st, wearing loewe, she announces her pregnancy, and tells everybody that she is nearly 8 months along!
now, if we are to assume that she is 8 months along this may, we can count back ( 7mo along in april, 6mo march, 5mo feb, 4mo jan, 3mo dec, 2mo nov, 1mo along in oct, 0mo sept) and see how in order to have conceived in september, prep for that would likely have started in… yes, the month before. august! aka… when she first debuted the evil eye necklace!
and when you look back at all the phrases and contexts accompanying her posts with the piece, you can kind of see how the necklace works in concert with her setting her intentions, potentially celebrating milestones like finding out, telling people, hitting the 5 mo mark which is when the majority of pregnancies become more stable, etc… this is all to say, and this is just a simple thing but, i feel confident in saying that this necklace was in fact one way of her hinting at her next child, since all the way back in august 2022 ☺️ and since it’s an eye necklace? well, 😌 all the more nice of a feeling.
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katsuizu-stuff · 1 year
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childhood friends! (pt. 2)
Okay before you read this you’ll have to read this post childhood friends! to understand
Now I can being, so I got a comment asking me if I can put the memories/childhood in order by seasons and since this sounds like fun and a challenge and also because I’m still bored then I’ll definitely do it. So this is the chronological order of seasons/months it will go by (to me at least)
I’ll be using the same pictures and putting them in the same order as the previous post
So there are four seasons spring, summer, fall, winter
Spring: March, April, May
Summer: June, July, August
Fall: September, October, November
Winter: December, January, February
Going by the seasons along with the months then I’ll like to say that Bakugo and Deku have known each other since they were 3yrs. old and most likely met during the summer due to the fact at Bakugo is calling Deku by his first name “Izuku” probably at the local playground they are seen playing in
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This shows Bakugo in a pair of pants and a long sleeve along with Izuku wearing a hoodie. This season must be summer during the month of August (most likely the mid’s of or end of August) so right now both Bakugo and Deku would both be the age of 3yrs. old
If they met during the summer then obviously fall and winter have gone by making it a whole year gone by.
When the other kids finally came and started to hanging out with them it must be the very beginnings of spring and the very beginnings of March
I’m calling it that way because all the kids are seen wearing short sleeves and shorts and it’s a sunny day with clouds and a blue sky
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All the kids started to hang out together basically for almost a whole year since they must have spent spring, summer, fall and of course winter. It’s evident because in one memory they are shown to wear short sleeves and shorts and the next Bakugo is shown wearing a puffy vest jacket and long sleeves, Deku is wearing a jacket and the other kid is wearing a jacket and scarf
(I had to rearrange this photo because the first one I posted was for simply showcasing all the kids hang out together)
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Basically now both Bakugo and Deku are the age of 4yrs. old due to Bakugo’s birthday being in spring the month of April and Deku’s birthday being in Summer the month of July
And when this came next, when Bakugo discovered the meaning of Izuku and Bakugo started to call him by “Deku” no longer by “Izuku”
Spring and the very beginnings of March came around again, due to the fact of the kids clothing and the blue sky
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And the next memory we get is of Bakugo getting his quirk
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This means that Bakugo has been calling Izuku “Deku” for a whole month now and since it’s said that kids get their quirks at the age of 5 then at this point when Bakugo got his quirk it was still spring and the month of April since Bakugo’s birthday is April 20th.
By this point in time, when we see both Bakugo and Deku spending time alone together, it should be summer. Making Bakugo 5yrs. old and Deku still being 4yrs. old because when we get this scene Deku says, “Wow! You’re so lucky! Your quirk is amazing Kacchan! When I get mine I hope it’s just as cool.” meaning it still hasn’t been July which is Deku’s birth month
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The next scene in this chronological order I’ve put together is Deku, Bakugo and the whole class finding out that Deku is quirkless meaning it’s during the summer and since they are wearing their school uniforms then this must be the month during August
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So now both Bakugo and Deku are officially 5yrs. old and Bakugo has his quirk and Deku doesn’t
And when we get to the classic scene of the river then it must be spring again thus meaning that Bakugo is now 6yrs. old and Deku is still 5yrs. old
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During those three spring months March, April, May somewhere between those months the river scene happened and from then forward it’s when Bakugo and the other kids started to bully/pick on Deku
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And I can make this make sense because there’s a scene where Deku is hiding behind a tree as if he definitely doesn’t want to be seen by Bakugo most likely making it the season of summer in the month of August since they are wearing their backpacks
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Anyways… that’s basically what I think of the whole seasons/months and the chronological order I put Bakugo’s and Deku’s childhood together is
(so yeah… how do you feel knowing Bakugo and Deku have known each other since they were 3yrs. old?)
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hartz-penny · 1 year
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in follow up to my timeline (for those who haven't seen it / want to reference: https://www.tumblr.com/hartz-penny/705740236884508672/after-celinas-its-2022-comment-in-510-i), i wanted to jot down some info on the relationships in relation to it!
WOPEZ:
Met in 1.10 "Flesh and Blood" and agree to go out by the end of the episode, by my timeline (1.01 being ~ March 2019 and 1.20 being 6 months later aka ~ September 2019), let's say this is June 2019 since its half way through the season
They break up briefly between 1.12 and are back together by 1.18, they fight in 1.20 but are firmly together by episode's end, again per my timeline this is approx. Sept 2019
They have moved in together as of 2.01 which is still ~ Sept 2019
Wesley is stabbed in 2.06 "Fallout" which we'll assume is Oct / Nov 2019
Wesley proposes - which Angela accepts - in 2.16 "The Overnight", as this is after DOD (09Dec2019) but before 2.20 (the rookies' "one month push") we can guess this is Jan or Feb 2020; they have been together for about 7-8 months total (including their breakup)
Wesley discovers Angela is pregnant in 3.01 "Consequences" by finding her pregnancy test, I'm going to assume Angela was between 3-7 weeks pregnant - wide range I know but I can't imagine her being any more far along than that and *not* have taken a test prior - here which is approx March 2020
Season 3 takes place over the course of two months since it begins right when the "one month push" begins, Lucy and Jackson graduate to P2 in 3.14 and Nolan becomes a P2 in 4.01 after completing his one month extension
This would mean that Wopez's first attempt at a wedding in 3.14 takes place in May 2020, they have been together for about 11 months; Angela is also kidnapped by La Fiera in this episode
Jackson "Jack" Lopex-Evers is born after the 3 month time jump that happens at the end of 4.01, putting his DOB in approx. Aug 2020
Wopez get married offscreen between 4.01 and 4.02 - which would still be Aug 2020, they have been together for just over a year
5.10 is apparently "2022" which per my timeline is Jan 2022
TL;DR Wopez has been together for 2 and a half years as of 5.10
HARRAY / JYLA (Nyla x James):
Met in 3.02 "In Justice" which takes place in approx March 2020
Had their sparring class in 3.11 "New Blood" which we'll say is when they first get involved, this in approx. April 2020
Nyla is dating both James and that hot dad in 4.03 "In The Line of Fire" and by the end of the episode is dating just James, this is approx. Sep 2020
Nyla sleeps with Donovan in 4.05 "A.C.H" (31Oct2020)
In 4.11 "End Game", Nyla discovers she is 6 weeks pregnant - I assume this to be mid-Dec 2020 - at this point Nyla and James have been dating for 8 months, exclusive for 3 months
Nyla and James get married in 4.18 "Backstabbers" - approx. Apr 2021; they have been dating 12 months, together exclusively for 7 months
Leah Harper-Murray is born in 5.02 "Labor Day" which takes place in ~ Jun / Jul 2021
As of 5.10 "The List", Leah is 5 months old and per Celina it is "2022", most likely January
TL;DR Jyla has been together for a year and a half as of 5.10
I'm not doing John and Bailey because I do not care about them.
CHENFORD:
Get ready folks because we'll cover a lot!
1.01 "Pilot" - estimated Mar 2019 per my timeline, "Bradford, you get our hotshot", Tim is assigned Lucy as his rookie
Tim & Isabel
In 1.01 it's revealed that Tim hasn't seen Isabel in a year
Tim and Isabel met as rookies, and Lucy states in 2.08 "Clean Cut" that Tim is a 12-year veteran; as S2 takes place from month 6 to month 12 of Lucy's rookie year, we can estimate that Tim and Isabel were together for about 11 years at the time of their divorce, if 2.08 takes place in Oct / Nov 2019 (it occurs between 2.01 which is approx. Sep 2019 and 2.11 which is established 09Dec2019), Tim and Isabel met (and were rookies in) 2007
We don't know what year Tim and Isabel were married
Based on the LAPD guidelines, rookies become P2s after their 13-month probationary period, become P3s after 3 years as a P2 - based on this Tim and Isabel would've reached this point in 2011
I can't remember where I saw it, but I believe to test out of P3, you need to have put in 1 year, and since Isabel was a UC in Narcotics, we can assume she was a Detective I, and let's say it took her 3-4 years to get there from P3 since Armstrong said he was the fastest to get to detective and it took him 4 years (I'm assuming he meant from P2 to Detective I) bringing us to 2014-2015
Let's say Isabel started the addiction spiral around 2016-2017 since Tim ignored it for a while at first and she was probably able to hide it for a bit before it got to the point where Tim was starting to pick up and thought she was having an affair and that Isabel left around late 2017 / early 2018 to match the "I haven't seen her in a year" of 1.01
Isabel is shot in the head in 1.08 "Time of Death" by Vance
Tim and Isabel agree to divorce in 1.12 "Heartbreak" which apparently is Valentine's Day but I choose to ignore bc Feb 2019 ruins my entire timeline and doesn't make sense with any other established date so we're going to say that its 3-4 months into Lucy's rookie year and is May-June 2019 (we don't know when the divorce is finalized specifically but Lucy says "since the divorce" in 2.03 "The Bet", which is approx. Sep / Oct 2019)
Lucy and Nolan 🤮
Are "together" as of 1.01, and have been dating / sleeping together / literally doing the nasty bc seriously I hate them together so much since the academy
Based on how casual they're both treating it, lets say its been going on for 3 months as of 1.01
They break up in 1.04 "The Switch", sleep together again in 1.08 "Time of Death" and end it for good (thank GOD) in 1.09 "Standoff" - this is approx. April / May 2019, putting their entire length of relationship at 6 months
Tim and Rachel
Set up on a date by Lucy in 2.03 "The Bet" - approx. Sept / Oct 2019
Tim considers moving to NYC with Rachel in 2.19 "The Q Word" but ultimately does not, they do not break up - approx. Mar 2020
Tim and Rachel break up offscreen at some point in S3, definitely before Angela's wedding when Tim openly checks Lucy out and S3 is 2 months long, so the max length of Tim & Rachel's relationship is 7 months
Lucy and Emmett
Meet in 2.17 "Control" and start dating despite Tim's belief that Lucy can do better - approx. Feb / Mar 2020
Break up in 3.08 "Bad Blood", as this is right before Lucy's final shift as a rookie (which is approx. Apr 2020), we'll say that they break up in Mar / Apr 2020; their relationship is about 2 months long
Tim and Ashley
Meet in 4.06 "Poetic Justice" and begin officially dating between here and 4.08 "Hit and Run" as Tim tells Genny that he is not single - approx. Nov 2020
Are planning a trip to Hawaii in 4.21 "Mother's Day" in which Lucy initially assumes Tim is going to propose, Tim & Ashley have been together for about 6 months at this point as it is May 2021; Tim finds out Ashley does not want marriage or children - a thing he very much does want - and for some reason stays in this "magic" relationship (srsly Timothy???)
Finally break up in 5.05 "The Fugitive" literally 10 seconds after Tim gets out of SPINAL SURGERY because Ashley remembered that Tim is a cop and being a cop is dangerous and I know Tim is pretty but like what did you expect? Just because he was telling your dad to retire meant he secretly wanted to too? This is late October 2021 as its right before 5.06 which is confirmed Halloween
Total length of relationship: ALMOST A GD YEAR...
Lucy and Chris
Meet in 4.10 "Heart Beat" and they are not fans of each other
Set up on a double date with Tim and Ashley by Tim in 4.12 "The Knock"; have their first real date at the end of the episode - approx. Dec 2020 / Jan 2021
Chris calls Lucy his girlfriend in 4.15 "Hit List", Lucy defines Chris as her "work in progress" - approx. Mar 2021
Chris is targeted by Rosalind in 5.01 "Double Down" (and sadly survives) - approx Jun 2021
After Chris gets Tim to convince Lucy to go to UC school, they are still together when Lucy comes back in 5.03 "Dye Hard", ~ Aug / Sep 2021
Chris asks Lucy to move in / buy a house together in 5.08 "The Collar" she is very on the fence, Lucy has not said I love you but Chris has because they "haven't been together that long" (it's been almost a year Lucy, he's just not Tim!!); Lucy and Tim confess their feelings after Tim confronts Lucy about staying in the relationship because its safe, Lucy decides to break up with Chris
Lucy and Chris finally break up in 5.09 "Take Back" ~ Dec 2021, making their total length of relationship between 11-12 months
BACK TO LUCY AND TIM:
Time as TO & Rookie: 13 months (1.01 - 3.14)
Time as Sergeant & Sergeant's Aide: ~ 9 months (4.04 - 5.02) [~ Oct 2020 to Jun / Jul 2021]
Length of time to first kiss: 2 years, 1 month (4.22)
Length of time to feelings confession: 2 years, 6 months (5.08)
Length of time to first date & first official kiss: 2 years, 7 months (5.10)
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thatpaintedpony · 5 months
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It’s Christmas so it’s time for the 2023 year in review. This is going to be a rollercoaster so strap in.
We kicked off 2023 with a trail ride down to our neighbour’s place to ride on her lovely arena, and needless to say Sky took it all in her stride, though she was a little wide eyed when she met their many, many, many blood hounds. It was, however, extremely hot, and we both came home drenched in sweat and ready for a shower.
We had, of course, been preparing for our Novice debut for nearly 12 months now so we were also starting to work with a bit of elementary stuff, working slowly on our laterals and developing our walk to canters. January at work was deeply miserable, as my excellent manager had left and I was left in a job I hated, surrounded by people I didn’t like, plus I wasn’t allowed to work from home which made riding a bit miserable. Still, we plugged along through January.
I once more rode at the MARC Unofficial comp and did another two Unofficial Novice tests, with one scoring 73%! Unofficial scores are never a good indication of where you are realistically, but it’s always nice to see that score starting with a 7. Then, finally, FINALLY at the end of January, we competed in our FIRST Official Novice test at Bowral Dressage Club, more than 8 months later than intended. We had one more error (broke to canter in the lengthen trot) but otherwise put in two very solid tests and scored 64% for both, and placed 2nd and 4rd. Not bad for our first official comp! It seemed the curse was finally broken!
In February, it was off to South Australia to see Mum and Dad, during which time I went on a hot and rather random trail ride on a standardbred out the back of some random lady’s paddock, enjoyed some beach time, and went for a lot of dog walks. We did get excellent weather for  change which was nice!
The end of summer brought a boon of blackberries, since our property at Gunning is rank with them and even as annoying as having a property full of noxious weeds is, at least these ones have berries.
We also started preparing for our Novice Freestyle, which was supposed to be debuted at the Festival last year, but never got finished due to the broken hand. This meant a few trips out to a local arena to get the timing right, which we also used to start to develop our elementary work a bit more.
In March it was off to Melbourne to meet my delightful cousin and her new hubby, back from London to visit the family, and Mum and I had an excellent time exploring some museums while we were there.
We had another solid official Novice at ACTDA in March, with 64% and 65%, keeping our scores fairly consistent. We probably could have done better but Sky decided to do a choose your own adventure test so was anticipating pretty badly. In March we also tried our hand at hacking, and did excellently, though it was revoltingly hot, and landed Champion Led Pinto and Reserve Champion Led Warmblood, and picked up a ribbon in almost all our classes.
April rolled around, and with it, Dressage in the Bush. We camped out at Bendick Murrell Showgrounds, and competed in the AOR Novice Championship and the Novice Freestyle. Our Freestyle went well and we won (after a bit of a snafu with the scores) and we placed 3rd and 6th in the Championship, only JUST missing out on Reserve Champion due to an error of course in our first test. But Sky was absolutely exemplary the whole time and I was SO proud of how well we went.
We also won a lesson with the amazing Susan Elekessy, who has become our eyes on the ground, helping us pick up little things that Peter can’t see through the Pivo. She was very complimentary towards Sky, as well, which is always nice.
After the excitement of Dressage in the Bush, a certain SOMEONE (looking at you Lexi) conned me into entering Elementary at the HDC Festival. I figured it would be a good opportunity to see how we would go, how solid our Elem work was. Afterall, we had most of the main movements alright, though our travers was less good. Due to a wedding, I wasn’t able to compete AOR, so I found myself riding my first ever elementary tests in an OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP. No pressure, right? And yet somehow my magical unicorn Sky managed to not only not embarrass us, but to PLACE 6th in the 3.2 with 65%, which ALSO qualified us for States. Insane! We also got 2nd in the Novice Freestyle. Unfortunately the big week and competing elementary meant that by the time we got to our Novice championship, Sky was exhausted, so while we put in decent tests we didn’t manage to place against the Open horses. Still, it was amazing to finally make it to the Festival that I worked so hard to help organise, to actually be able to ride with my amazing friends.
Post Festival, I finally started a new job at ANU, transferring from the Digital Literacy team back into the Library, taking on the role of Information Access and Training Officer, which was a HUGE step in improving my attitude towards work. I love my new manager and my new team, and I’m having so much fun being back as a librarian.
Peer Pressure struck once again, and I found myself entered at States in both Novice and Elementary. With not a lot of time between the Festival and States, I trekked out to Wagga to try and get one more ride at Elementary in before States. We did the 2.3 and the 3.3. We had some hefty mistakes in the 3.3 and ended with 62.8%. Even better, we cracked 70% at Novice for the first time in an Official test which is an excellent benchmark!
Before States I went back to South Australia to surprise Dad for his birthday. Little did I know, it would be the last time I saw him outside of hospital.
Then it was States again. On paper, it wasn’t the most successful Championship we’ve been to. We scored 57% in the 3.3 which was one of our worst ever scores, and 61% in the 3.2, which put us mid field in both tests, which considering these were our 6th and 7th ever Elem tests I was still pretty pleased with, however it did show that Sky was getting a bit scrambled about the simple changes. Then in the novice, again, she was tired, scoring 63% and 64% in the two tests with some silly mistakes. So no ribbons, but the fact that we were even competing at States in at two levels when before Sky the thought of competing at states AT ALL was far out of reach, so I’m still proud to have been there, and we were mid-field in all our tests so definitely not at the bottom!
We took some time off competing while we addressed the issues that had arisen in rushing our Elem start, namely that for a while we were entirely unable to trot, and could ONLY do walk to canters and canter walks. It was a whole thing. So we stepped it back to Novice while we addressed that.
In September, my dad unexpectedly went into hospital with severe pneumonia, among other things. I rushed down to Royal Adelaide hospital to be with him, and stayed for a week as he slowly recovered. He seemed to be getting better, so I came home. I competed at ACTDA in Novice, in a howling gale. Her tests were tense, but obedient, and we got 63% and 64% (at least we’re consistent).  
Then, a week later, Dad passed away in the ICU at Royal Adelaide Hospital. It has been the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me.
I came home and tried to pick up my life again.
In November, my bestest for the restest and I decided to start a Podcast, revisiting our terrible writing from when we were teens, in an effort to try and create some sort of platform since apparently that’s what you have to do to publish a book these days.
Finally, it was time for the Canberra Classic. The big local championship that I missed last year due to Sky’s endless seedy toe. I was tough, being the first time I’d competed since Dad died. He was always so invested in my competitions. It was hot, and windy, but Sky put in two lovely tests. We got slammed in the first with 62% for having her poll too low, but scored 69% in the second test to place 5th AOR. If we’d competed Open we’d have been second! Still, I can’t complain about a 69% so was extremely happy, and we got to take home a shiny ribbon.
On the 18th of November we said goodbye to Dad with a wake at one of his old haunts in Balmain, spreading his ashes off Darling Street wharf. I was reminded how truly beautiful the friendships I’ve made are with the support of my amazing pals. I wish they could have met him.
Sky and I came 4th in the AOR Novice Horse of the Year rankings, and I was awarded a Bronze performance medal at ACTDA.
And so we have rolled onto the end of the year, starting to reintroduce our elementary work, getting stronger and ready to start competing at Elementary next year.
Then, approximately 10 minutes before leaving to fly to SA again, I bought a new towing car, a 2010 Mitsubishi Pajero. Hopefully it’s excellent, and I can pass my trusty Prado on to a new owner!
This Christmas is a little bit sadder. A little bit emptier. There were no power tools under the tree this year. Less beers in the fridge. The weather is crap and somehow appropriate. I wish you were here, Dad. Merry Christmas.
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mulling-over-milgram · 4 months
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My current Remi theories
Agghhh I’m very late….but here we go ^^;
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊
TIMELINE SPECULATION
Okay so first of all again starting with a timeline. Now Remi’s recordings seem like they could be over the course of multiple years? So since as far as I’m aware we don’t know what year tsumigram takes place I’m going to be referring to the first paragraph of recording one as year 0001 and then if I believe the year changes 0002 so on and so forth so keep in mind I’m not actually referring to the real life years 0001 , 0002 , 0003 ect ect.
“Summer is ending. Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food?” End of august
“Spring is ending. We part and come back together, this must be a form of true love for you; though as for me, I'm not so sure.” End of may
“Winter is ending. Closeness never matters; they switch their opinions in an instant, and always, always, always, always choose someone else instead.” End of February
“Autumn is ending This was a game of play-pretending for everyone but me; right, I wanted a place I and others could belong to, but as I've seen through lies, I'm burning down the theatre..” November/December
“Summer is ending. You simply disappeared without a word; I didn't care, did I care? Too many people, I get lost.” End of August again
Now there are two interpretations since the memories from this recording if my research is correct :
-1) the memories take place over the corse of five years which explains why we start in august the 8th month of the year and then go to the 5th , 2nd , 11/12th and finally back to 8th assuming the recordings are chronological then this is the only answer that really makes sense
-2) the alternative would be that the paragraphs are in reverse order so then you’d go 2>5>8>11/12>8
but I personally lean more towards them being in chronological order because there feels like a progression. In paragraph one Remi asks the other why they are still in this relationship? The relationship to borrow Remi’s metaphor had gone cold then in the next paragraph they seem to be on better terms but still not great then 3 we are back to the relationship being strained and getting worse…it won’t make alot of sense for us to start with “you simply disappeared” and end with “how long are we going to chew on this cold food? = how long are we going to prolong this dying relationship?
The only thing really giving me pause is that its such a long time. 5 years! Remi is 18 thats just under 1/3 of her life time…it makes me feel like I’ve made some mistake in my research….
moving onto the second memory
“Year by year, I look back and feel all the same, let me out of this, let me out of this loop! I wonder what kind of person I used to be before. Is it your fault? Changing me so much. Cherry blossom petals, a wave of crystal water covering my ankles, tender girly laughs from all sides.” CHERRY BLOSSOM’S SAVE THE TIME LINE YET AGAIN :D because cherry blossoms were blooming that places this paragraph around late March and early April.
“Ah, my first ever wish made on New Year night was to meet a true friend. I imagined my own friends, and this is how I became a writer, slowly but surely. I met real friends to grow up with, slowly but surely, but all of them were condescending, and I got trapped in a small box of expectations. “ because its new years eve December 31st
“Warm snowflakes falling from the night sky, the stars are never seen in the city; I watch myself looking up from the sidelines, holding onto the lantern as my last hope.” Now personally I interpret the warm snow flakes line as describing the stars rather than actual snowflakes as warm snowflakes is a contradicting description and the fact the next line literally talks about the stars with that in mind the lantern is the only clue as to wear to place the memory now I’m not fully sure on this but the main Japanese lantern related thing I could find was Toro Nagashi now I’m a little iffy on this since from my research Toro nagashi is mostly about the dead and guiding dead souls but I did see a few places mention wishes “Toro Nagashi is a summer tradition in which people make wishes and float paper lanterns down a river” again I’m really not sure about this but its the best connection I could find so far…this slots (assuming the toro nahashi connection is correct) this memory at the 13th - 16th of August or July.
“Running through a chilly meadow, sun rising and I hold your hand, catching lavender clouds as I stay at home.” Chilly = cold // cold = autumn? September December???
“You're squeezing something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes, so you can't see what's there; sun’s warmth is on your back, a chill feeling spreading over the body.” Warmth = summer???
I’m quite shaky on alot of the conclusions but my overall interpretation of the time line is.
The trial starts possibly some time in December due to 003’s birthday being soon after T1 starts???
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊
FULL TIMELINE THEORY
0001 / august / ?? Summer is ending. Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food?”
0002 / march / April / ??
“Year by year, I look back and feel all the same, let me out of this, let me out of this loop! I wonder what kind of person I used to be before. Is it your fault? Changing me so much. Cherry blossom petals, a wave of crystal water covering my ankles, tender girly laughs from all sides.”
0002 / may / ?? “Spring is ending. We part and come back together, this must be a form of true love for you; though as for me, I'm not so sure.”
0003 / February / ??
“Winter is ending. Closeness never matters; they switch their opinions in an instant, and always, always, always, always choose someone else instead.”
0003 / December / 31st
“Ah, my first ever wish made on New Year night was to meet a true friend. I imagined my own friends, and this is how I became a writer, slowly but surely. I met real friends to grow up with, slowly but surely, but all of them were condescending, and I got trapped in a small box of expectations. “
0004 / August / ??
“Warm snowflakes falling from the night sky, the stars are never seen in the city; I watch myself looking up from the sidelines, holding onto the lantern as my last hope.”
0004 / September / ??
“Running through a chilly meadow, sun rising and I hold your hand, catching lavender clouds as I stay at home.”
0004 / december / ??
“Autumn is ending This was a game of play-pretending for everyone but me; right, I wanted a place I and others could belong to, but as I've seen through lies, I'm burning down the theatre..”
0005 / august / ??
“Summer is ending. You simply disappeared without a word; I didn't care, did I care? Too many people, I get lost.”
0005 / August / ??
“You're squeezing something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes, so you can't see what's there; sun’s warmth is on your back, a chill feeling spreading over the body”
0005 / December / ??
milgram
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊
THOUGHTS ON HER CRIME
Now moving on to what I think remi’s crime is…..I have not idea! That is the reason why this is so late because I am completely lost on what it could be :)
clearly remi was in some sort of unfulfilling relationship were she felt she was giving more then taking , felt neglected and like it was dying for a long while before it actually ended. So her victim is probably that person?
as for the description
“You're squeezing something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes, so you can't see what's there; sun’s warmth is on your back, a chill feeling spreading over the body.
It's not the time to listen to yourself. It's never the time, remember?
Your knees and hands seem to hurt, but you keep on pushing, can't give up — now or never”
ummm it kinda gives me the vibes of drowning? Like keep pushing = keep pushing the head under water??? Water coving her eyes could be because she’s also under water…? But I feel like “something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes,” thats gotta be tears right? Like yes it could be a large body of water was involved if so probably the one implied here “a wave of crystal water covering my ankles,”
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Her murder location does look like a lake surrounded but trees to me? But that could just be the distortion. That what go me started down the whole drowning train of thought.
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(Gorgeous diagram I know)
but just overall I don’t have a strong theory (this seems to be a reoccurring theme….)
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊
RECORDING/UNDER COVER IMAGES
Once again moving on. Time to tackle these two images , her memory recordings and her undercover.
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Starting with the memory recording this is alot more abstract then hotaru’s so I feel like the symbolism in it can be read into more. Remi is in space and I feel like space is probably a metaphor for her relationship. Space is cold and a vacuum you can’t speak or be heard in space (without special equipment and the whole no speaking thing is more that if you open your mouth you die and boil/freeze alive but lets put the logistics to the side for a minute) she is surrounded by other planets (possibly reproductive of the other people like the other people implied by lines like “ tender girly laughs from all sides.” / “I wanted a place I and others could belong to” / always choose someone else instead“ ect) and how planets and other celestial objects go in set orbit going round and around on the same path could be seen as similar to how remi describes the relationship “So tiring. I need to break the cycle.” There’s falling star’s in the bg which could refence wishing stars or possibly the concept of star crossed lovers? Or wishing
I attempted to map the planets from the art to our solar system which again not sure if its ment to be our solar system or just a general space setting but if it is our solar system then perhaps we could read into the fact that in this context remi would be on the outer side of the solar system far away from the sun and in the colder part of the system.
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unrelated observations that the shape on the side kinda looks like a wave or maybe thats just my conformation bias talking…?
And this art could also possibly reference a magical girl transformation ??? I feel like I’m reaching to much with those last two points tho…
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As for the undecover frame we have already seen remi liken her relationship to food “Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food?” So relationship metaphor???
there seems to be strawberries in the picture which according to google in japan has symbolism of love and is a gift on valentines day in japan….? it is also apparently a symbol of the goddess Venus which links it back in with space but idk
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。。 ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊
MY CURRENT THOUGHTS ON VOTING
I really don’t feel like I know enough to vote her anything….? I went with victim in the end because I didn’t really feel like I had any strong concussion on her situation but I feel like I gotta be missing something cuz it was 50% predator when I originally wrote this section.
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thelazyhermits · 6 months
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Got some A Twisted Future timeline info I wanna share underneath the cut.
As I've stated in the past, it's been said that none of the TWST events are actually canon to the main story, because they take place in their own separate universe. That's why the game devs are allowed to do whatever they want for the events, like have everyone know each other relatively well by Halloween/have Epel & Deuce have their UM by that point, etc.
That's why my Halloween and New Year's event fics aren't canon to my A Twisted Future series, and that will likely be the case for future Halloween/New Year's themed event fics.
As far as all the other events are concerned, I really want them to be canon to my series, so I'm writing them as if they are canon, although I know that makes things a little difficult since I want the majority of them to happen after Book 6 and before Book 7 since Yuu has a good relationship with everyone by then/everyone knows each other, etc.
Considering we don't know when exactly Book 7 starts, although I'm suspecting some time in April, I realize that this doesn't give me a lot of time to fit in all the events that I want to happen before then.
I'm not opposed to some of the events happening after Book 7. It just all depends on how that book ends, so I won't say an event takes place after Book 7 until I know for certain what the main story situation will be like by that point.
So, in the meantime, I'm just gonna pretend there's an extra month in the year, located in between March and April, so I can do as I please with the event timeline since it's not like it's ever been stated that TW's years are the same as ours lol 😂
However, not all events will happen during that time frame. I've decided to have a few of them happen between Books 5 & 6, like the first Camp Vargas event, which is why I decided to tweak canon by not having the incident with Grim happen the night following Vil's OB since my Yuu had ended up in the infirmary that night and Grim would've wanted to stay with her and he would've definitely stuffed his face with all the food her friends had left at her bedside for her to eat once she woke up after having gotten knocked out by Lilia's specially prepared medicine lol
I just don't see the harm in just having Grim go to the coliseum at a later date after deciding one night that he wants to eat the blotstone from Vil's OB, so that's the route I'm gonna take with this series.
Regarding how everyone met up at Ramshackle a few days after the incident with Grim to talk about the SDC/VDC in canon, I don't see why it can't happen later on since I can just say Vil had a lot going on with his schedule following the SDC/VDC like his recovery, work, etc. And there were game events that took place during that period time as well. That's why he had to put off that meeting with the NRC Tribe at Ramshackle.
Aside from those changes, I've decided that, rather than have the SDC/VDC happen around the middle of February like in canon, I want it to happen at the beginning of February. That way I can fit in the three events that I think could happen before Book 6, one of which being Camp Vargas while the other two are a surprise 😉
I would also like to have a few events happen during the period of time when Ramshackle is under repairs following Idia's OB since in canon that's like the whole month of March, although I might make it shorter for my series. I think this would be perfect for events that don't involve the Shroud brothers who are still at Styx during that time.
Just wanted to share this in case anyone might be interested in the timeline for my TWST series ^^
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hanarchy · 1 year
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Hi friends, I illegally logged into tumblr on my work computer on the first working day of 2023 specifically to make this post properly. I don't have a good computer and I simply could not do this on my phone.
Ok, Time to get emo :)
I discovered SKZ at the end of last year, I personally date my anniversary to somewhere between December 29th 2021 and January 2nd 2022. It's a good thing too because I get overemotional at the end of the year anyway and now I can just schedule all my gratitude and emo times at the same time.
I want to start from the beginning bc the only reason 2022 was a good year for me was this discovery. this is a bit of recap for me because I wanted to do it. If you're tagged in it it means that you played a part in my year and meant something to me. Feel free to only read your little paragraphs (or nothing at all, theres no obligation), this is bound to get unspeakably long.
first, I want to give a quick shout out to the people I started talking to/followed more recently @hyunpic (I haven's checked twitter today, did hyunjin kill you yet or did he get all of that out of the way in 2022?) @mybodyfails (did u ever listen to stromae?) @jisungsjaistandjeekies (how was the first day of your new job?) The best thing about getting another year on tumblr is the promise of getting to know you all more <3
@quokki you were literally the first person I ever followed for stray kids content. It was around february, when I looked for fanart for the first time and reactivated my twitter and I found your hannies. It took a little longer but I'm so glad we are friends now. I really love our chats/meltdowns abt hanji and you're incredibly talented and kind and also just correct abt a lot of stuff lmao
@alexenglish alex, I know we don't talk that much but you were the first person to really talk to me abt k-pop stuff and I will never forget that. I also cannot thank you enough for showing me rolling quartz and for reading the stupid thing that i wrote that one time. it seems trivial but i literally do not show anyone my writing ever and anytime I do and it's a good experience it makes me a little braver so thank you, seriously. and also thank you for sticking around even when I'm a dick
my first comeback in march was soso special because I had people to freak out with. I was in Ireland at the time and even hough I was brand new in online stayville I felt a lot less alone than I could've.
in april i started talking to @sailsflyseaward but I honestly can't believe it has only been 9 months. We've met 3! times since then and you're already one of my most precious online friends and I feel like I've known you way longer. I have to try very hard to stay cynical and not believe in fate and the universe being a good place when I think about how we could've just never met.
I was EXHAUSTED the first 4 months of this year, I hated most of it. I turned 30 in april, i had been to ireland and to the north sea on vacation in march and april but all of it felt hollow and exhausting and terrible. In germany we say that may makes everything anew and it certainly was true for me this year. I planned a trip to toronto, I got a raise, I got to see mamamoo, ive and a bunch of others live and i spoke a little to so so many sweet people.
@nevoono who makes literally the cutest fucking things ever and was my first german k-pop friend ever and also is just... really cool in such a unique way. idk I'm sorry I'm terrible at keeping up.
to @ambivartence who I don't talk to a ton but who also is literally the coolest artist alive and made me feel very happy to know that others also travel very far to see their groups. I stare at your paintings so much, i honestly should not admit it but there's just always so much to see.
and to @pvddins-art who is one of the sweetest and kindest and most generous people I've ever met, which is a high bar because I use those words for a lot of people, but for you they are more true than for anyone.
getting to go to a k-pop festival in germany as my first experience was so good too. I really had no idea what it means to ba a k-pop fan and the whole community and culture and incredible vibes around it when you're there in person. I had a very exhausting day and it was hot as hell and I had a migraine after but it was all worth it
interlude because I don't remember when I started talking to you:
@brianbangs tay my sweetheart, i love you so much. you're just one of the people who get it. like. idk, it's hard for me to put into words properly but you get it when I'm being a hater and you get it when I'm being emotional and you get it when I'm being horny and you accept all of it. I also think you're really fucking creative and talented and I love being here with you so much
then june came and it was one of my best months ever ever. I went to another festival and got to relive the music I loved as a teen. seeing the strokes 16 years after I was a fan made me cry a lot lol. I went to see my favorite people alive @starmotions, @fromadifferentphase (and the third one who is missing but u know who u are) in toronto. and I do mean this literally you're my favorites. I'm the most me when I'm with you, I think of everyone who knows me no one knows me so completely. there isn't anyone I share more parts of myself with. the 1 week I just got to hang out with you was so incredibly precious to me, it made me power through most of the rest of the year. moments of joy! I got to see toronto and got to spend time with people I love. one of my friends came all the way from salt lake city just to see me.
then I went to new york and now there's a long ass list coming because 1. it was the first time I met my beloved julia, 2. it was when i met my beloved kay 3. i got to travel with my beloved di and we got to explore new york and eat so many tacos and learn about queer art and history and also it was when I met both
@chanstopher and @lonelystreetlight and I'm puting you both in the same paragraph bc I started talking to both of you at the same time and also discovered that we're literally the same tumblr user, I cannot believe that I found the old 1D crowd again and the old glee crowd AND even the old starkid people. ok, I had to google the songs from the space tour just now but it's insane that I could text someone about both status quo by starkid AND zone by 3racha.
and lastly it was OF COURSE when i fucking saw fucking stray kids in fucking person (sorry) I was so numb from everything going on, and from the heat and from newark airport that I didn't even cry but looking back on it I honestly can't even begin to believe how lucky I was to be able to do all of that in just one month.
july was the month I went to see harry styles (meh) and hang out with an old friend because of it (yay) and I have literally nothing else in my calender for the entire month but I know I was a bit stressed. however I don't think it was a terrible time.
In august I went to the south of germany on vacation to celebrat my moms birthday, we went to the opera outdoors and I felt extremely fancy the entire time and also saw so many flowers. then we started the stayblr discord.
@snug-gyu @hanjesungs @ggthydrangea @littleclouds @shmalll @babychicklix and everyone else in there! I am so glad it's a space to hang out and message each other and talk about skz. I know I left very quickly (unfortunately group situations are terrible for my mental health and I felt very bad very quickly) but I still got to start chatting with so many cool people and I'm always so happy that we did that.
@bangchanies king of the dumpster that is new jersey, my absolute favorite eyeshadow model and another one of the bitches that just get it, u know? you just get what I'm trying to say and I am grateful to have you to text when I want to be annoying. (you're also secretly incredibly sweet and I think you're honestly just a very kind and empathetic person and i would be sadder without you but i will not tell anyone that you're secretly nice)
@cheekyquokka even though you're not IN the server, I feel like we started really talking around the same time so you're getting put in here as well. you're so generous and sweet to your friends, I remember the surprise and amazement from both bee and ale at the packages you sent them, you're such a great fucking mutual to have because you know yourself and you make really cool gifs, every time one of yours comes across my dash i know it. idek why. anyway, thank you <3
around september was when I finally started the group chat and seven made it complete, so here comes that bit. I needed to make sure you all know how much you mean to me.
@bourgeoix I swear in some off-kilter way we are soulmates. you make both my fandom brain and the little kid that didn't know popstars but could draw the shape of gorbachevs blood spot feel at home. you're soooo fucking smart and we have like debated moral philosophy and learning and reasoning styles at length so I won't go into it but it's one of those amazing fated coincidences that we both befriended seven and then each other. you think it's cool that I live near to Olaf Scholz's barbershop. you're my favorite of all the nerds. I could read the stuff you write for years and years and never get bored. I need to eat your brain (as jace or seven would say) and I love that we get to be both smart and very very very dumb together.
@hyumjim I honestly cannot top what mel said but you're like. my only grown up friend. You genuinely have a patience and kindness with people that is really hard to find. I know you don't show this to everyone but it makes me all the more grateful that I get to experience it. you're also insane. when seven first added you to the gc I had sth to say that felt really crazy to me and was nervous in front of you and seven said 'emily is also insane' and so i posted it in the gc and now we're friends. i don't remember what it was but you gave great advice and i sort of feel like we disagree and fight in all the ways that makes a relationship better and you make me insecure but in a fun way. you're a huge hater and yet you genuinely love people and humanity more than most people alive. thank you for listening to me.
@jellino jace idek how to describe you but you're like....... my little brother but not in a lame way. you're also older than me in some ways. idk, I just love how much you love stuff. I love how sure you are of what you're not, even while always wondering what you are. I think of you so much when I see sea creatures and ice age characters and dumb stuff. the other day I saw a squirrel irl and i thought 'I have to send this to jace' bc it reminded me of scrat from ice age. i cannot look at a penguin without thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever go to a zoo and not think of you. I also am always hoping that you are ok, that you find your way, that you know I'm happy and proud to know you...
@bewby my love. seven. I think it will never not be complicated how much I love you because I want you to be ok so bad. but it doesn't matter if you are or not for me to love you a whole lot. you're so funny and so smart and I say neither of these things lightly, like you have such a quick wit and you want everyone to be ok so bad and you love people so much and i hope that some day you will know that it is enough and you are enough. meeting you that one time was so fun, like we literally did not need more than a half hour to find sooo much stuff to talk about. I love having a german kpoppie friend, I love your tender heart, I love how understanding you are! I hope you know how much!
honestly it's all 4 of you that got me through fall and winter so far, it's venting and bitching and joking and writing insanely long messages to you that make me feel like a human instead of a gremlin. It's knowing that you like me and think I'm someone you want to listen to. You mean so much to me, I can never pay that back.
so much happened in my personal k-pop world in october PLUS most of my friends had their birthdays too so it was a bit stressful and it ended with my great uncle dying but i did get to see my old friends and family, so it was good in the end.
november was cold and dark as always but i got to feel so much warmth in scotland, just spending a few days going to museums and coffeeshops and nothing else and then seeing my love julia for the scond time, learning about history and eating pies. then I went to london to see @sunflowercocoa again after 5 fucking years and it was so much fun. I know you know how much I love you, I had such a good time, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making me leave the house, thank you for being generous and fun and spending time with me. I know you're strong enough to get through the next year or so and I know you're gonna be so happy and so successful and you have a great life ahead. I know you're not here much anymore and that it kind of annoys you but you were a big part of this year and this is like my diary at this point tbh.
i also met @geniaparadox my homie and so much fun to hang out with. honestly our day together kind of made me wish i could've gotten to hang out with you in high school, i feel like we would have been friends. thank you for talking to me abt how underrated felix is and for looking at the bts stuff in hmv and despair because being a k-pop fan in europe is very sad and for buying japanese tea and just being cool. i am so happy that you get to not go back to that job
december was november but worse but I started it off sososo well, seeing julia the 3rd time and going to nuremberg and munich and being slightly tipsy at the christmas market everywhere and going swing dancing for the first time and trying so many fun food and drink things. It was a sad and anxiety-inducing month because so many people I know were ill or dying but in the end we mostly made it through and I am grateful. I got to spend the end of the year surrounded by babies and puppies and it felt good to not have to deal with grown-up things for a few days and just play.
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