thought about bill denbrough

Mrigashira: The Truth Is Subjective?

This is part 3 of my Mrigashira trilogy (here's part 1 & part 2)

I had previously explored the Mrigashira tendency to speak the truth and often be considered crazy for it. I thought I'd expand on this nature for this post as well.

Being truthful can mean many different things. The truth is also context-bound and what one exposes can differ based on the circumstances.

Dalai Lama- Mrigashira Mercury conjunct Rising

He has been at the forefront of the Tibetan independence movement, He has spoken up about nonviolence and his work includes a focus on the environment, economics, women's rights, non-violence, inter-faith dialogue, physics, astronomy, Buddhism and science, cognitive neuroscience, reproductive health and sexuality. He's literally one of the most admired people in the world and is considered a Bodhisattva. Being truthful or bringing attention to the truth is a big part of his life. This is not to say he isnt shady tho

He is also a very complicated figure. He used to get a personal income of over $1 million every year from the CIA for about 2 decades between 1959 and 1974?? He inappropriately touched Lady Gaga when they were on stage together, there is also a video of him asking a young boy to "suck his tongue" 🤮🤢

sometimes the truth isn't really the truth. whatever you believe to be true is what is true to you even if it does not have any basis in reality. one terrifying example of that is the Aum Shinrikyo cult leader Shoko Ashara

Shoko Asahara- Mrigashira Moon

He was the leader of the infamous cult Aum Shinrikyo, that carried out the 1995 Tokyo subway sarin gas attack and several other attacks. Asahara declared himself as God and led his followers into believing that the end of the world was coming. Its a bizarre mix of new age conspiracy theories, religious syncretism, enlightenment, doomsday mentality and pure sadism.

He and several other leaders of the cult were executed in 2018 after more than 2 decades in prison.

It goes to show how "truth" is very subjective. Shoko was a megalomaniac who was fcked in the head, yet he managed to convince manyyy people of his teachings and even got them to do whatever he wanted them to do??

Donald Trump, Mrigashira Sun conjunct Rahu, popularised the term "fake news". it is so interesting to me that a man generally known as a liar will have Mrigashira of all naks and esp have it conjunct Rahu, the planet of illusion. Astrology is funny like that sometimes. He was very forceful in spreading his truth, even though that truth was bigoted, racist, classist and misogynistic. And in one way, he helped expose people who supported him bc what is worse than being known as a Trump supporter? That is enough to gauge someone's character and nature.

Idi Amin- Mrigashira Moon

mrig nakshatra is actually present in the luminaries of many dictators/fascists/terrible leaders. Idi did not really have any specific ideology, he was a brutal narcissist who got a kick out of murdering people even at the expense of his nation's well being.

Ryuho Okawa- Mrigashira Moon & Venus

He was the leader of a cult called Happy Science and declared himself to be God. one thing that stands out to me with mrig natives is how since Mrigashira nak represents the fall from heaven, i.e, the beginning of life on earth in some ways, its natives tend to be obsessed with truth telling, I had explored more positive manifestations of this in part 1 but this tendency can be manifest in very bad ways as we see from these examples as "truth" is very subjective. Okawa was telling his truth bc he genuinely believed he was God but does that make it right?

Jennifer Lawrence, Mrigashira Moon

JLaw has always struck me honest, maybe a little too honest but that's what made her so likable initially and unlikable later on. I had mentioned this in part 1 as well about how the presence of a Mrig native often triggers other people or makes them feel threatened. part of it is the fact that Mrig has serpent yoni and subconsciously we sense the energy of other people's yoni animals and react a certain way in their presence. people with predator yoni animals strike us as intimidating. most people hate snakes and will probably kill them if they see them bc it could be dangerous and this is honestly how society reacts to a lot of serpent yoni women. So many sex symbols have serpent yoni in their big 3 (Pamela Anderson, Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, Brooke Shields etc) society seems enchanted by them but is also quick to tear them apart. people feel deeply uncomfortable with these natives is what I have noticed. JLaw's reputation suffered after she had been exposed as a try hard "cool girl". but tbh, there are celebs out there who are far more annoying and done far worse things, how come JLaw's hated for being the "cool girl"?? part of it could be that we all see our collective shadow in her, the hot sexy talented woman who seems to be a messy clumsy loser and is also "one of the boys". JLaw grew up on a farm with 2 brothers, its only natural that her personality is a little brutish and unladylike, it gets old really quick bc it seemed gimmicky but it is interesting to me how someone can be ripped apart for something so small??

Sandra Bullock, Mrigashira Stellium

Sandra plays these unladylike but blunt and honest characters a lot (While You Were Sleeping, Two Weeks Notice, Miss Congeniality movies etc)

Sonam Kapoor- Mrigashira stellium (sun mercury & mars)

Sonam is known in the Indian media for saying whatever comes to her mouth lol, that means she makes a lot of dumb comments (she once said her being a nepo baby was the result of good karma from past lives lol and that people think you're a good actor if youre not good looking which is basically implying that she isnt considered a good actor bc she's too good looking lmfao) but she does have moments of radical no bullshit honesty, like the time she wrote an essay talking about body image

Monica from Friends always called out everyone's bullshit. She was played by Courteney Cox who is Mrigashira Sun

Leah Remini Mrigashira Sun

she exposed the dark secrets of Scientology through her memoir and docu series. this is another form of Mrigashira truth telling. exposing the darkness, evil and injustice in this world.

North West, Mrigashira Stellium (Sun & Rising)

North exposing her family is a bit of a running joke, she revealed she has dyslexia on IG live which pissed Kim off and in general she's known for her bluntness and calling out her mom esp. Kim even said that North is her "lesson" and that North "intimidates her" and how North is Kanye's twin (Kanye is also Mrigashira Sun)

Tupac Mrigashira Sun

honestly watch any interview and you can see how honest and sincere Tupac was (sidenote: isnt he sooo handsome??<33). i cant pinpoint to specific moments but Tupac was so young and sooo beyond mature?? idk if anybody in their early 20s has this kind of articulation anymore.

Paula Abdul- Mrigashira Sun

this is a bit of a strange case. Paula claims to have been in a plane crash in 1992 which left her with a spinal cord injury and forced her to take about 10 years off before she restarted her career as a judge on American Idol. she has talked about this many many times in the last 2 decades. except of course that there is zero evidence of this plane crash. obviously, she could just be lying but why lie about something that could so easily be proven? i think sometimes Mrig natives have a tendency to delusionally believe what they say. i have no doubt that Paula is convinced that she was in a plane crash and that it ruined her music career but its not objectively true.

Donald Trump & even Kanye West (both Mrig Sun) are other examples of celebrities who talk about wildly stranger things that they believe to be true.

Ewan McGregor- Mrigashira moon

In the movie The Island, Ewan's character discovers that everything about his existence is a lie and that he and the other inhabitants are human clones.

I feel like this trope of realizing lies and "waking up" is tied to Mrigashira's nature.

in the movie Passengers, this happens in reverse, JLaw wakes up and then learns the truth

The Truman Show, starring Mrigashira Moon, Jim Carrey is another example of a Mrig native realising everything is a lie.

i think its a common and unfortunate pattern in the lives of many Mrig natives to suffer abuse and I feel like the reason many of them do is because they falsely believe the lies they are being fed is true :(( it takes them time to "wake up" to the truth (ex: Mrig Sun Brooke Shields who always defended her abusive mom who made her pose nude for playboy when she was a kid??? among other things, its only recently that she has started to admit that those things werent okay)

thats it for this post!!

If there were anything you could change about Aleksander's and Alina's core personalities what would you choose?

Ooh interesting question...

Let's start with Aleksander. I don't think I would change anything about him, to be honest. Maybe I'd make him have less trauma because I really feel sorry for him. But that's impossible for a man that has lived for so long. When you're immortal you are bound to get traumatized by manyyy things. But no, I don't think I would change anything. I love him and accept him as he is. In fact, I admire many of his qualities (won't elaborate on them now because this requires a different ask or its own post).

Now about Alina. Boy. I would change many things. But the one thing I would absolutely change in her character is her avoidance of responsibility and selfishness. I would make her think less of Mal and more about her country and the Grisha. Literally the whole trilogy was "Mal", "Mal?", "Mal!", "Oh my Saints, Mal!", "Where is Mal??", "Don't hurt Mal!!". Like there's people that are dying here, Alina😭😭

So yeah I would make her more responsible and take the reins about this whole Grisha persecution. In a perfect world Alina would take a leading position and change things for the better for her people (while still having her powers). Try to make right from wrong. Help Nikolai restore the balance between the First and Second Army and aid him to the Fjerdan wars. Be a good diplomat in time to make Ravka have a decent (at least) relationship with Shu Han and other countries. With a powerful Grisha as Queen and a charismatic otkazat'sya as King, Ravka could change for the better. Even without her powers her influence would be great, I think. Alina could grow herself to become a good leader only if she stopped thinking about herself and getting overwhelmed with her feelings. Like in R&R when she thought "I wish I had cut that rope and let them all drown" or something. So yeah. Thinking more rationally, be a pragmatist and work for the greater good of her country. She saw the state of Ravka, the state of Dva Stolba (the place she was born) where people were living in exhausting and terrible conditions. She felt pity for them. Did she do something about it? Nope.

When the Darkling died she should have said "Yes, what he did was horrible. But why did he do those things? What pushed him over the edge? What made him be this way? What he was fighting so ardently for?" and then try to fix these things in her own way. She should learn from the Darkling (his mistakes, his words to her, his actions, his cause), instead of running away and leaving everyone behind.

Everybody always criticizes the villains and their deeds (characters and readers alike) but nobody ever asks why and what made them this way. And nobody ever tries to solve the problem they were fighting for.

No. We only care about their defeat.

(Oh and I would have her have more badass moments like when she used the Cut to destroy the dome in the dining hall of the Little Palace in S&S or when she used her powers to stand up to the Apparat and his men in R&R. We needed a more assertive Alina, let's be honest 😌).

5, 15, 21, 33

5. Are you “out” publicly? yeah! i am visibly lesbian and visibly trans/nonbinary/gnc and i flag very obviously almost all the time. i am publicly out to everyone. i'm not really able to hide it either if i wanted to.

15. How has your identity changed over time? oof well.. i .. hm. i spent a long time essentially unlabeled for my orientation because i struggled to reconcile being nonbinary and being into Ladies. and i hadn't really had many homo experiences so i wasn't even sure who i was into.

ok let's wind back a bit. so when i was a kid i knew something was.. there. i was incredibly afraid of it. (i guess now we're gonna answer the neurodivergent question haha) i couldn't even name it for myself in my own head. i would not. i was absolutely terrified.

now for context you need to know i was somewhat.. ostracized? i was lowkey bullied and i was very self-conscious, socially awkward, insecure, lonely. you know how people say little girls can tell someone is neurodivergent better than doctors? yeah. so i was extremely concerned with being Normal and being like accepted and having successful social interactions. i did not face concerns about family acceptance or religious homophobia or transphobia. this was about peer acceptance and social isolation/success.

so this is why i was terrified of the ... thing i could not name. so i wouldn't even say i was closeted because i wasn't out to myself. i remember.. telling myself something along the lines of.. like needing to be strong, and keep this secret forever and never let it out never tell anyone, ever. if i can do that it will be okay. this hyper-vigilance.

so i self identified as "boy-crazy", as a half-subconscious strategy to avoid scrutiny. i also tried very hard to make sure to act very Normal about girls and not be too avoidant with my eyes. i developed crushes on boys. now to be clear looking back on it, i intentionally did this and made sure to be conspicuous about it. oh what a time. i even had boyfriends.

around high school time i was on the internet a lot. i added tumblr to the websites i was going on and i found nonbinary people. i was fascinated by androgyny and nonbinary people, and i was learning about like social justice stuff a lot and i was like kinda Ally mode. i can't remember much exactly, i was also very much sleep deprived for much of later high school and mentally not well. i was friends with some gay people. i knew some people who were out by this time. i don't think i was thinking of myself as gay at this time yet. probably open to the idea of neutrality as a gender at this time. if i'd known a word for it i probably would have claimed it and identified with it.

then i went to college and i think something inside me knew i was like planning to be gay in college? like i completely subconsciously was like waiting for it. i was still deeply nervous and afraid but i was around a lot of new people and it's socially acceptable / normal to like experiment and stuff in college. i started experimenting with expressing attraction to women when talking with friends, or using words for myself like butch or dyke. (i didn't really know what the words meant i just was trying them on). i was around a lot more people who were out. i started trying out flirting with girls. i probably thought of myself as bi around this time.

then sophomore year i ended up on in 'gender inclusive housing' - a floor of one door building where any people could be roommates regardless of gender. we called it the queer floor. my RA was trans, manyyy of my floormates were lgbtq. there were a handful of straight people of the floor but the majority were queer. it was dramatic but fun honestly and an incredible experience being surrounded by that, and all the people i met through these people. i definitely started identifying as nonbinary and neutrois and using they/them around this time. i think i used demigirl a little bit but didn't feel super strongly towards it. i met my now-wife in the spring. i don't recall using any super specific words for my orientation other than like queer. i didn't know for sure what my orientation was so i was just keepin it vague. i didn't even really know for sure my gender i just knew somethin was going on!

couple years went by and i met a lesbian friend i became close with and i became more comfortable claiming it as an identity, at the same time as being nonbinary. around that time i started this blog.

and more years have gone by and i still feel like lesbian and nonbinary are true. I feel more secure and confident in being able to be both not a woman or girl or aligned with it at all and also being a lesbian, as well as confident in being into some nonbinary people and still being a lesbian. i think the specifics of my gender labels would include: trans, nonbinary, transgender and transsexual, transmasc (i guess? i'm unsure how i feel about this label and its usefulness in general or its accuracy for me. i kinda feel like sure i guess it is technically correct), neutrois, androgyne, neutral. stuff along those lines.

21. What message would you give to your younger self? bro... i don't even know. "it doesn't have to be great or even good, it just needs to be done". "it's okay to be gay it's okay to say it, it isn't going to help you to try to hide it and you shouldn't expect yourself to keep that hidden away forever it will eat you up inside and you don't deserve that".

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate? I'm proud that I'm me! I'm proud to be a dyke. I'm proud to be nonbinary. I'm proud to be exactly who I am, whether it's popular or not, whether anyone else gets it or not. I'm proud to be one member of a vibrant and beautiful and messy family. 🌈

send asks / #ask farmer lesbian

My q&a Session

Q1: how many languages can you speak, and what languages can you speak? and would u like to learn any other languages :D (for the qna thingy!!)

A: I’m fluent in my native language & English, can read in fluent Arabic but I can’t understand it, planning on learning Turkish and french!!!!

Q2: where are you from?

A: My mothers womb 😋

Q3: how did you find tumblr and start posting? and what made you decide to post yandere content?

A: I found tumblr thru YouTube, and manyyy years ago! But I decided to make an account in 2019 when I had a really bad injury in my foot, I couldn’t walk properly & I was at my granny’s so I was bored. I decided to download it & the rest is history :)

Q4: I think you have may answered this before, but what got you into kpop? and yandere stuff?

A: Uhh it’s so weird like??? So I was a huge wattpad addict back in 2016 & I used to read fics [not ff’s] and then fast forward to 2018 I saw a bts (yandere jk) ff. it was an accident 😭 but it intrigued me so much about the “yandere” genre and I was like “who’s this guy?” So I searched him up &… I got myself into them and found the yandere genre!!! 😭

The genre was so interesting to me that I wanted to write my own fics! So I did lol!

Q5: one place you would LOVE to go ☆ ____ ☆

A: South Korea?

Q6: what's one food you LOVE? and one food you HATE? (also congrats on ur milestone!! you definitely deserve it!! ^^)

I loooove anything with potatoes and spice!!!! And I absolutely ABSOLUTELY despise anything with meat. ANY KIND.

tysm bb 😭😭💕💕💕

Q7: favorite song of each bts era?

A: uhhh there are sooo many but my all time favs are

don’t leave me

Boy in love

silver spoon!

just one day

cyber pt3

fake love!!!!

tear

pied piper

House of cards

my time

Q8: Are you studying something right now?

A: Yep! Arts! (Planning on becoming an English lit major tho)

Q9: Would you like to travel?

A: ABSOLUTELY!!!! take me anywhere!~~~

Q10: What inspires you to write??

A: tbh the interaction that I get because of it!

Q11: Do you ever just look back to all the yandere works n think "damn i have a weird mind" or "damn i need therapy" I don't mean to offend you I'm just genuinely curious

A: no, not at all because I have this awareness inside my brain that this is all fictional and it’s not real, it shouldn’t be romanticised beyond the limits of fiction!

Q12: If you could go on a date with Jungkook what would you like to do with him?

A: uhhh 😭😭 I would…. Hmm let me think. I would like to make sure that him & I both have the best day ever!!!?? srry idk 😭😭 I never thought about it until now 😭😮‍💨😭💕 I would be so lucky tho!

Some stuff about me

Alright, so I saw @woodenpevensie do this kind of presentation post and I thought it was just a lovely idea, so here I am🦋

Hello! You can call me Ilya, my pronouns are she/her and here are some things about me:)

Cancer. Slytherin. Narnian since day one. I had and still have way too many crushes on fictional characters. I love to write and read. I love any type of body of water, huge nature nerd. I definitely was a mermaid in another life lol. I love music. I’m a kpop enthousiast (Army, monbebe, atiny majorly). I love animals and traveling.

What I want to do here🌳

Lots of different stuff ! For now, this blog is based and centralised on Narnia content. I will be writing fics, point of views, headcanons, analysis and sharing my thoughts about this beautiful universe.

Fandoms💛

Narnia. Star Wars. Harry Potter. Marvel universe. 

Characters I love? Any ship?😏

Peter Pevensie is the apple of my eye. Lucy Pevensie, I aspire to be like her. Edmund Pevensie. Trumpkin. Aslan. Reepicheep. Anakin Skywalker. Luke Skywalker. Asohka Thano. Leia Skywalker. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Sosuke. Ponyo. San. Ashitaka. Peter Pan. susan pevensie x caspian. anakin skywalker x padme (Even tho it’s hella tragic). Din Djarin x grogu (NOT romantical). Jacob Black (my sweet bae). Emmet Cullen. Charlie Swan. Alice Cullen x Jasper Hale. and manyyy others

Favorite show? Movie? Book? Song?🎼📚

Miraculous Ladybug. The Office. That 70′s show. Brooklyn nine-nine. The Mandalorian. The Chronicles of Narnia (All 3). Lord of the Rings (All 3). The Hobbit (All 3). Mamma Mia (both of them). The Twilight Saga. The Starless Sea (Erin Morgenstern, this book is EVERYTHING). Songs, I could NEVER pick one. 

The Chronicles of Narnia book/movie ?❤️🦁

I love all three of them equally. As for the books, I love them all too, but I do really like “The Horse and his Boy” and “the Silver Chair”. 

Requests?🙈

OPEN ! I write for all the main characters of Narnia (Peter, Lucy, Edmund, Susan, Caspian). It can be character x reader, just a pov, headcanons, just ask ! I will be making another more complete and informative post about them:) 

I’m new here and a lil shy, but I’m always open to talk and make new friends☺️

useless || m. yoongi [PROLOUGE]

→ Yoongi x Reader (Third Person’s POV) → Genre - Angst, Boyfriend!AU, Cheating!AU → WC - +1.6 → Warning(s) - Strong language, mentions of sex, cheating, negativity, self-hatred → A/N - Yes, I know there are manyyy cheating one-shots/series, this is just my version of like hundreds. I don’t how many chapters there will be of this one. This is also revamped version of my first fic/fic series,  Distracted. This was beta’d by my sis, Ari ( @loser-dot-com ). Reader her works on @writing-bout-you2 because they’re just amazing and I wil give her a shoutout every chance I have to.

→ Summary - You couldn’t forget the strongest feelings you had, not straight away at least. They started to become useless, just leave an empty void of nothing in your heart. One day, hopefully, they’d stop being useless and you’d use them for someone who deserved them... And dear God you couldn’t wait until that day arrived.

→ Chapters - [Prolouge]

She muttered incoherent curse words to herself, keeping herself quiet because she knew he’d be coming home soon. Warm, salty tears rolled down her plump, bright red cheeks as she gripped tightly onto the counter edge. With every silent sob, her body shook with absolute sadness and a pain so sharp she thought it was physical.

Moonlight flooded through the small window from the kitchen, the light reflecting off of her fallen tears.

The sound of keys jingling as the front door opened, she knew he had just come home. She was dreading this moment, yet her packed suitcase in the master bedroom reminded her why.

A voice called out, “Babe?”

Her grip tightened, causing her knuckles to turn white on the countertop, trying to hold onto it, thinking it would save her from the sorrow she had to keep to herself for days, yet she was barely keeping her grounded.

“Babe, where are you?” The husky voice of a man called out again, laced with concern and worry, the voice coming closer to the kitchen.

She smiled bitterly to herself.

It was fake, all of it. The smiles, laughs, and memories that they shared, the tears he shed when he confided in her, the happy memories they created together for the past two years of their lives, the love he had told her numerous times during sex, the love he held in his eyes every time she stared into them. He had faked everything.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” she could hear him not far away from her. He neared her, setting his jacket, phone, and keys down on the table that they’d always eat dinner at, food that she cooked because she wanted him to stay healthy and not eat junk food that would harm his body.

He wrapped his arms around her softly, sliding his hands over her hips, latching himself to her. He rested his head on his shoulder, having to bend down slightly because of the height difference.

“What happened?” he calmly whispered into her ear, wondering why she had been sobbing in the kitchen when she’d usually call or message him.

She stayed silent, sobs still making her body shake with sadness that had enveloped her whole body. Her legs felt weak, her knees wanting to give out, her arms not able to keep her stable against the counter as she held onto it.  

He wiped her tears from her soft, small face, where tears had already dried. He could tell she had been crying for longer than he concluded: the thought alone made him frown.  Why had she not called him, or even texted him, to tell him why she was sobbing uncontrollably?

“Let go of me, Min Yoongi,” She whispered, having enough strength left to move his arms from around her body.

He stared at her with wide eyes and a shocked expression crossed his face. She never called him by his whole name, knowing he only liked when she called him ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ or sometimes even his stage name, Suga, because he loved how it rolled over her tongue.

He watched as she trudged her way to their shared bedroom. She closed the door behind her softly, wanting to be alone, to get rid of the tears her tear duct had harbored. She didn’t want to see the man who she had loved and trusted. She didn’t want to feel his presence because that would’ve made her feel more depressed, how he acted like he cared about her and loved her.

Yoongi followed her to the room, lightly opening the door to see her drag out a suitcase and stuff some of her clothes, electronics, and other necessities into it. He continued to look at her wide-eyed, not uttering a single word as he stared at her with the same shocked expression he had held in the kitchen.

“What are you doing, babe?” He was so confused that she would just start packing out of nowhere, hurt because she wouldn’t talk to him and that she refused his touch, and sad that she wanted to leave him without saying a word of what happened.

“Leaving,” she blatantly stated, trying her best to keep a level voice but to no avail, it didn’t work. Wiping her cheeks free of the newly fallen tears, yet it helped nothing as new ones started to blur her vision.

“L-Leaving? Why?” He stuttered. He could feel his heart separate into two pieces, not being able to move as you packed away the last few small items you would need before you could get the remainder of your things.

Yes, maybe Yoongi hadn’t been one to say ’I love you’, or been the type of the person that was always up to do something with her, since he would be composing songs, spending the time with his friends from his group, a dance practices, so he’d be tired a lot, but she said it was okay, that she knew how hard he worked and that she’d always support him.

She swiftly turned around, facing him with a look of pain, anger, and betrayal apparent in her eyes. Her face was covered in dried tear stains and new ones slipped off her cheeks, her face so pale it looked like she had just seen a ghost, wet tear spots scattered on the shirt she was wearing, his shirt that she’d always love wearing.

“Why? Why don’t you go ask that woman you went to for sex?” she lifted an eyebrow at him, her words laced with anger and hatred.

His face visibly paled, his mind was blank when he wanted to beg for her forgiveness, yet nothing came out. He had nothing to say because there was nothing to say.

He had never thought she would find out his darkest secret.

It had been a reoccurring thing that happened. He would tell her that he’d be going to spend time with his band members or to dance practices, but he was going over to another woman’s house. Never the same one, unless she had been to the clubs and bars they went to more than once.

He thought she’d never notice, from how well he hid it. He had no idea how she found out.

His face and silence had told her she had been right, that what she witnessed wasn’t her mind making up random noises. She had always had a small doubt in her mind that he’d always slept with someone else when he was out drinking, but she never thought it’d be true.

Four days ago, she had been staying the night with Taehyung and Jungkook. As they weren’t of age yet to go to a club, she stayed with them in the guys’ dorm to play games with them. She thought if Yoongi did get drunk, he’d trust the guys to bring him to either their apartment or the dorm. It would’ve been true, but every time they went out, he told her he’d spent the night at the dorm.

At 2 A.M., she and the two boys heard the sound of loud laughter come through the front door of the dorm.

She smiled at the guys and turned back to playing a game with Jungkook, but he seemed to pause the game when no one said anything.

“Are you guys alright?” she asked, her eyes dragging over the group of guys when she noticed one person missing. Her boyfriend, Yoongi.

They visibly paled, seeing the woman, her face dropped, not seeing Yoongi. They knew where he was, yet none of them said anything. She was like their younger sister, they didn’t want to see her hurt. They had begged Yoongi to go back to the dorm with them, but he snapped and said he was going to get laid tonight, forgetting that he had a girlfriend who’d always wait for him to return home.

“Where’s Yoongi…?”, she asked, looking at Namjoon, whose mouth open and closed like a fish who was struggling to breathe without water. Her eyes skimmed over to Seok-Jin, whose face dropped when he looked back at her, frowning down at her.

“Guys, where’s Yoongi?” She asked again, more firm and demanding this time.

“Oh, Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin giggled, who was heavily drunk, his vision blurry and not able to recognize her figure or voice, “He said he’s getting laid tonight. I feel so bad for you. You are so sweet and caring, practically an angel. I don’t see why he’d get another girl when he has you.”

A loud smack was heard and Jimin groaned and pouted, looking up at Namjoon who’d just smacked the back of his head, not realizing what he had confessed.

The woman’s face paled, tears threatening to spill in the next few seconds. She scrambled, moving away from the game station and finding her phone. She looked at Yoongi’s contact and called it without hesitation.

“What the fuck do you want, dude?”, he grunted, clearly not seeing who had called. She could hear moans and whimpers in the background. She immediately hung-up, launching her phone on the couch in absolute disgust.

Tears flooded her face. The unbelievable had been proven true, her boyfriend had been cheating on her behind her back, probably for months now, even when he told her how many times he loved her, how they cuddled after sex, and after she’d shared her emotions and feelings with him, even when she had her own issues. All of the intimate moments they shared were now useless, wasted on drunken hookups.

“I’ll be coming back later to get the rest of my things.” she moved past him, making him stumble when she shoved past.

Slamming the door behind her, she left him alone in the quiet apartment that always had been so loving, warm and inviting. The apartment he had called home for the past two years felt so barren of happiness and the love he was used to. The only thing he could register himself feeling was disgust and self-hatred.

How had he fucked up one of the most important things of his life so easily?

→ Links - Masterlist      Tell me what you think?

Shit Oh Sehun did in 2017

-Mistook Jeonghan (svt) for Johnny (nct)

-Movie date with suho

-Slayed at the gaon chart award show with a solo dance

-Paris vacation/date with suho

-Got called best dressed man at a Louis Vuiton catwalk and then proceeded to spend the next day walking around Paris with a hood, baseball cap and a cowboy hat on his head all at one time

-Revealed his bed time snuggle routine with Suho, no shame attached

-Was supposed to debut as an Actor Oh in February, but didn’t…

-Was supposed to debut as an Actor Oh in March, but didn’t…

-Got an award for being himself (popularity award)

-Was supposed to debut as an Actor Oh in April, but didn’t…(NoT EvEn a FRackin TraIleR)

-Waved to a tablet instead of the camera, tried to play it cool by continuing to do so

-Posted about his big chilli… 0.0

-Got 15 points on a drawing game while everyone else got over 100 (he drew love hearts and wrote ‘I’m sorry’ for everything and still couldn’t accept being last)

-Howled because of sour pickles

-Members accuse him of being the prime suspect when food goes missing in the fridge, he agrees

-Used binoculars the wrong way round and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see (Suho to the rescue and an embarrassed osh as a result)

-Gets driven around by big brother chanyeol

-CAN SING (might as well be in exo’s vocal line)

-Biyak Biyak 4 lyfe

-Rubbed his head on a random guy’s stomach (who looks like he’s his sugar daddy)

-Made suho sad because he didn’t go to a premier with him, but went to a festival with Chanyeol and guy whose stomach he rubbed his head on

-Danced (????) at said music festival. By dance I mean chicken fingers at the crowd wtf @ exo’s main dancer

-Can ya tell iv given up on the debut of Actor Oh

-Graced his instagram with such artistic pictures of rice, spoons and cereal

-Only one ft BoA returns

-KING OF SPOILERS sehun the cereal rice (kokobop) poster

-KING OF SPOILERS PT2 dancing the dance with kai can you all please stop this isn’t good for me

-Comments ‘is this exo’s official account?’ On exo’s official account

-“What did you do in preperation for this album?” “Loyalty”

-Passionately talked about eel reproduction

-“Favorite fruit?” “Water with ice”

-Gave flowers to the members because he’s their cute baby omfh (it was a punishment but same thing)

-*gives Kai a rose* “it fits you, you’re sexy and dark red suits you”

-Baekhyun confirms Sehuns big DIACK

-“Sehun has absolutely no interest I’m women. How do I know? Sehunnie said he has no interest in women”- Baekhyun

-Bragged about a really good noodle place, took 30+ people to eat and payed for them- but the food was disappointing

-“Say something to the EXO-L for their birthday” *sehun claps*

SUPER ELLE

-*brags about his dog at every chance he gets, literal protective father to vivi* “I am a cat person”

-EXOTOURAGRAM AKA SEHO AND FRIENDS

-“We’ve been roommates for 6 years I want to cross the line”

-Producer Oh

-“I’ve arrived!” \(-°o°-)/

-Date in NYC with suho (ft the third wheel JD)

-Pulls out chair for suho

-“Its enough just to film me, suho’ s voice in the background is fine”

-Couldn’t believe that a waitress in NYC can’t speak Korean

-Theatre date with suho (ft the late third wheel JD)

-Kicks suho out of their room

-SBS power fm- more like 2 hours of sehun whinning and crying from embarrassment while suho laughs

-“I really like chocolate milk. I think it’s love”

-“Sehunnie is upset~ upset~ really really upset… huhuu” AEGAO KING WHAY

-“I’ve been having a hard time too. At times like this, we should all embrace each other. There’s something I always tell the members and that is to to ‘hug/embrace (me)’. Let’s cheer each other on, got it everyone? Cheer up always and yea, that’s it” and this is why we love our baby

-Sehun irl- “I love all my hyungs to the moon and back #se-rang-hai-yo” Sehun in manwha- “who cares”

-LA date with suho

-DING DONG

-“Let’s goo” \(^o^!)__

-Just sehun trying to control his face while riding the drift car

-King of being HOT, calm and panicking at the same time when their car stalled

-Also Oh Sehun driving someone hold me

-Heart-shaped sweatpatch on his back

-“Excuse me… sir… ketchup ketchup yahh… thank you”

-“The hardest time isn’t when we have a lot of schedule but when the members have different opinions (argue). It saddens me a lot”

-Me me da

-Fan- “do sehun and i have something in common?” Sehun- “we’re human”

-Las Vegas date with suho

-Volunteers suho to go sky diving first like the little shit he is

-Wears a dress shirt and leather shoes to sky diving

-Acts like he isnt shitting himself on the zipwire

-Shamelessly wore nothing underneath an easily unzip-able hoodie

-MC Oh

-“Who is the scariest hyung?” “All of them”

-Tries to prank suho by putting a sticker on him, fails misrebly and then loses the sticker

-White suit blue shirt

-Chanyeol saying Sehuns voice is so good he wants to produce him PLEs

-Teary eyed sehun as eXO WIN RHE PRIME MINISFERS AWARD WWKBDUDBDJ

-Hello councellor MC’s @ seho “stop touching eachother are you guys coming out right now?”

-Sehun @ LVTN

-Gets customised bags from LVTN

-Sehun @ Moncler (also makes the CEO come out just to take pictures with him we love a powerful man)

-Peace signs in his pockets when hes told not to do it

-Doesnt follow seungri back on insta because aesthetics

-Omfg okay elyxion antics begins here

-SHIRTLESS SEHUN IMDG THAT BOY JUST THREW OFF THAT JACKETS WTF I JUST GOT OUT OF WORK AND THATS THE FIRST THING I SEE ON INSTA WTF OMG MY HEART I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS GOING ON YET BUT I SAW FOKKIN RIPPED SEHUN AND SHIT THATS JISTVTJE LIFE OMG THIS IS GONNA BE LIT

-Wrote and co produced his solo In At thE CONCERT COZ WE LOVE A TALENTED KING

-Lovingly strokes suhos face during touch it

-Comforts kai, upset because he made a mistske in his solo, during cmb

-Danced to ka-ching with CBX

-Suho “after our concert ended at midnight yesterday, sehun and i went back to our door and boiled 20 eggs. 2 adult men peeled them seriously and ate 10 eggs”

-Kisses baekhyuns neck

-Eats pizza at the concert after holding back for months, members happy give us one last chance at seeing THE ABS

-Went crazy and got chanyeol too drunk on his birthday

-Fansites “please dont crop our watermark we work really hard for these pictures” Sehun ;)

-Cute instalive of him just trying on the filters and telling us not to be stressed and play

-SEHUN IN DEAR HAPPINES OMG GREY SEHUN IS DA BESTZ IN A THIN WHITE SHIRT OMG

-“OK!! goo” *pouts*

-“Hey dog, look at me~”

-“Cheese many manyyy”

-*is just standing there posing* Photographer “youre cute”

-Didnt know it was just him, kai and baekhyun in the lightsaber mv

-“Sehunnie makes the most delicious soju” byun baekhyun

-LEON KOREA

-Makes a personal training room in their dorm that can barely fit his own ass

-Supports suho at his musical despite both going through a tough time

-Struggles with the rudolph hat

-SINGING IN UNIVERSE YES DAS MA BETCH

-Subtly strokes suhos face on a national award show

-Make chanyeol kneel whenever he wants something from him. We love our king

-Curly haired solo on mbc gayo

-A beautiful family picture from Oh Sehun to end 2017

——–

Cr. Lerandomexotic

I had a lot of fun making this, just thought i needed to record sehuns never ending loveble antics etc

Feel free to add whatever else i missed

Hopefully he’ll just keep getting crazier next year too, and exo themselves will grow to be greatet and stronger

Like, reblog & excel

1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 11; 12; 13; 14; 15; 16; 17; 18; 19; 20; 21; 22; 23; 24; 25; 26; 27; 28; 29; 30; 31; 32; 33; 34; 35; 36; 37; 38; 39; 40; 41; 42; 43; 44; 45; 46; 47; 48; 49; 50; 51; 52; 53; 54; 55; 56; 57; 58; 59; 60; 61; 62; 63; 64; 65; 66; 67; 68; 69; 70; 71' 72; 73; 74; 75; 76; 77; 78; 79; 80; 81; 82; 83; 84; 85; 86; 87; 88; 89; 90; 91; 92; 93; 94; 95; 96; 97; 98; 99; 100 (That's all of them. Take your time, as long as you need)

WHO THE HELL AGHSBSBS 1. What is you middle name?Ivanova ((a weird one indeed))

2. How old are you?15

3. When is your birthday?2nd of April

4. What is your zodiac sign?Aries

5. What is your favorite color?Green

6. What’s your lucky number?297 ((idk?))

7. Do you have any pets?Yes, two cats

8. Where are you from?Bulgaria

9. How tall are you?About 5’4 I think

10. What shoe size are you?Uhhh 37-38?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?Manyy ((but I mostly wear like 5 of em))

12. What was your last dream about?Nothing specific, just weird stuff as always

13. What talents do you have?Uhhhh I’m really good at procrastinating??

14. Are you psychic in any way?Mmmmaybe,,

15. Favorite song?They’re too manyyy ugh

16. Favorite movie?Now is good!!!

17. Who would be your ideal partner?My bf

18. Do you want children?I WANT PUPPIES ((max 2 kids tho))

19. Do you want a church wedding?No

20. Are you religious?Yes ahshdhhd

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Mmm yeah?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Do I seem like I have? Hehe >;)

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Yeah

24. Baths or showers?Both

25. What color socks are you wearing?Dark blue

26. Have you ever been famous?Pfff me??

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Not anymore

28. What type of music do you like?Indie, rock, pop

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Agshhshshs yes

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?One duhhh

31. What position do you usually sleep in?On my belly or on my side

32. How big is your house?Not big at all

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?Toasts, eggs,,

34. Have you ever fired a gun?I WISH

35. Have you ever tried archery?YEAH

36. Favorite clean word?Munchkin

37. Favorite swear word?Bastard

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?I don’t remember ((probably like 24 hours))

39. Do you have any scars?Yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?HOW CAN I KNOW

41. Are you a good liar?NO

42. Are you a good judge of character?Yes indeed I am

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Umm I try? Like really bad British, Russian and French

44. Do you have a strong accent?Nahh I don’t think so

45. What is your favorite accent?British for sure

46. What is your personality type?Mmm INFP?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?Idk, probably my coat

48. Can you curl your tongue?Nah

49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie all duh way

50. Left or right handed?Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?Yesss

52. Favorite food?Chocolate chip cookies, sushi, pasta

53. Favorite foreign food?Onigiri

54. Are you a clean or messy person?Messy

55. Most used phrase?If you can’t tell, they’re like,, a lot

56. Most used word?Ugh

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?Like an hour and a half?

58. Do you have much of an ego?Yes

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Both ((when it’s about to end, I bite it))

60. Do you talk to yourself?yEesS, a lot tbh

61. Do you sing to yourself?Yes

62. Are you a good singer?Oh god no

63. Biggest Fear?Failure or abandonment

64. Are you a gossip?Just a lillll

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?Um idk

66. Do you like long or short hair?Both!!!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Nah

68. Favorite school subject?Mmm English?

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?Nope

71. What makes you nervous?Everything and anything ((mostly talking to ppl))

72. Are you scared of the dark?Only a bit

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Usually not

74. Are you ticklish?Mmmyes

75. Have you ever started a rumor?Nah

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Pfff what

77. Have you ever drank underage?AHAHASGHSHSHSHSH OH GOD YEAHH

78. Have you ever done drugs?NO

79. Who was your first real crush?Some dumbass

80. How many piercings do you have?Two

81. Can you roll your Rs?“I think?

82. How fast can you type?Medium fast

83. How fast can you run?Medium fast aghdjdjdjssjdj

84. What color is your hair?Blonde

85. What color is your eyes?Green

86. What are you allergic to?Nothing

87. Do you keep a journal?Mmm I used to

88. What do your parents do?Ask em agshdb

89. Do you like your age?Yeah, it’s pretty nice

90. What makes you angry?A lot of things

91. Do you like your own name?Yeah,, it means faith

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Gahsbdhshh I like Erida

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?Ugh doesn’t matter

94. What are you strengths?I’m pretty ambitious

95. What are your weaknesses?P r o c r a s t i n a t I o n

96. How did you get your name?My granny’s first name starts with a V and also bc my moms fav math teacher is called like that

97. Were your ancestors royalty?Maybe

98. Do you have any scars?Didn’t I already answer this?? ShdhjdndnYeah 99. Color of your bedspread?White and dark blue

100. Color of your room?White and black

1,2,4,5,6,7,10,11,12,14,15,17,20,21,23,24,25,30,31,32,33,34,36,37,41,43,45,46,48,49,51,52,54,55,56,57,58,60,61. I literally just realized what the bottom text said just now. I'm too lazy to pick two plus it's super late and i want sleep right about now so either you pick two, or answer this ridiculous amount of questions (why so manyyy) and in return I'll do the same. lol good luck

oh mah GAW, dude xD Ok, here we GO

1. Are you good at apologizing? Depends. If I know I was the one who was wrong, yeah, I can apologize pretty easily, but if I really think I’m right or am just feeling really prideful, I’m horrible at apologizing. It’s never just “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” I always have to remind them of my good points lol 2. Do you prefer your looks or personality? Neither? Personality, if I have to pick. I like to think I can be a pleasant person to be around. 4. What are you most confident about yourself? My hair lol 5. Name a few songs that reminds you of someone, and who it remind you of. Ooohhh goodness. Anything Fall Out Boy-related = Susanne all the way. Also Panic! at the Disco, specifically the “Fever” album. FOB’s “American Beauty/American Psycho” album reminds me of a few of my friends. That stupid “Do You Like Waffles” song always reminds me of my brother. 6. What is your favourite colour combination? Uuuuuhhhhhh I never really thought about it lol I like burgundy with other shades of red and some shades of pink? I’m crocheting a bomb-looking blanket right now that’s like a combo of sea and space-inspired colors.7. Define your “aesthetic”. Nonexistent? I’ve never consciously thought about it. I guess like shades of blue and flowers and word art and flannels? Idk, man, I just go for whatever I’m feeling.10. What are some of your biggest pet peeves? People who don’t use their blinkers. People who are rude. People who don’t smile when you make eye-contact. People who cut me off in traffic. People who hover in traffic. People who make fun of other people for things they can’t control. Just people doing sucky things, tbh. 11. What’s something that automatically turns you off of other people? Conceit. Cockiness. Arrogance. REALLY strong personalities, like those people who are SUPER opinionated about EVERYTHING and try to turn EVERYONE to their side about EVERYTHING and try to control other people and every aspect of their lives. Also people who try to be grammar police, regardless of their knowledge level. 12. What song always makes you sad/emotional? “The Little Girl” by John Michael Montgomery. ugh. RIP me. 14. How are you with moving on? Absolutely horrible. I’m emotionally spent, currently, because of that exact issue lol15. What’s a philosophy you agree with, but fail to live by? Oh so many. Forgive and forget is a big one.17. What’s something positive happening in your life right now? I have friends again? Like, now that my mental health isn’t in a pit, I’m actually able to connect and have meaningful relationships with other people again, and that’s really cool. 20. Are you a good person? Nah, not inherently, anyway. Goodness is a choice that I can’t stick to on my own; I’m too selfish for that. Phil. 4:13, friends.21. How could you become a better person? Following Christ closely and being more selfless. 23. Have you ever been in love? If so, with how many people? Naaahh I’ve never been close enough with anyone to “be in love.” I love people, like a lot and really deeply, but not romantically.24. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in annoying at first sight ;) But seriously, it depends on what “love at first sight” means, really. I think two people can click really well the first time they interact, but I don’t think you really love a person until you really know them. 25. Which social science interests you more; psychology (how the mind effects a person), sociology (how society affects a people) or anthropology (learning about culture)? Why? PSYCHOLOGY ALL THE WAY, though the other two are close. I just. The brain is SO freaking cool, and I’m always interesting to learn why the heck mine acts the way it does lol There’s so much to learn, and it’s all so complex and just fascinating. Human nature is fascinating.30. How do you usually get people to be interested in terms of romantic relationships? And platonic relationships? Romantic: I don’t lol #foreveralone Platonic: Humor, 10000000%31. What’s your favourite song to sing a long to? Ooooooooohhh depends on what my voice is doing lol but usually anything from “Prince of Egypt” or “Part the Waters/I Need Thee” by Selah32. What’s some “embarrassing” music you listen to? Every once in a blue moon, I’ll throwback to Big Time Rush lol33. What are you most snobby/pretentious about? So much, honestly lol I can’t think of any one thing off  the top of my head….My writing, maybe?34. How do you express sad emotions? And happy emotions? Tears and babbling. Also tears and babbling.36. How do you feel about phone calls? Depends on who it’s with. Doctor? Nope. Dentist? Nope. School? Absolutely not. Friend? Yes, let’s talk forEVER. 37. How do you feel about texting? Fine? I prefer phone or video calls, tbh, because I like to be able to hear your tone of voice/read your body language41. What’s something you love that you never do anymore? Why don’t you do it? Play piano. I’m not patient enough to practice anymore. 43. If there were no limits; who and what would you be? Everything. (idek man lol)45. Describe your fashion sense. The clearance racks  and Target and Kohl’s,  and thrift stores46. Do you have stage fright? Oh absolutely. It’s gotten a lot better because #teacherintraining, and I literally had to stand in front of 30 17-year-olds every day for 6 weeks. Also, I lead worship in a small class at church, so I’m better than I used to be, but I still get pretty bad stage fright. My hands shake really bad any time I talk in front of people, even in a casual class setting. 48. Are you more of an open or closed person? Closed if I don’t know you. More open if I do, but still generally pretty closed.49. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? And the best? Probably the depressed periods in my life when I felt really far from God and the people I care about. The best is salvation via Jesus Christ, aka the reason I made it through those dog days. 51. What are your top three places you’d like to travel and why? UUuuuhhhhh tbh I’ve never flown or anything, and travelling has always seemed like a weird, out of reach concept for me. Ummmmmmmmm I guess Italy, Spain, and England? Because there’d be a lot of cool stuff to see? lol52. What’s something you thought would be really scary/bad, but was actually fine when it happened/you did it? SO MANY THINGSSS umm probably riding roller coasters in Disney World. It was still petrifying, and I couldn’t stand up after because I was so scared, but like it wasn’t AS bad as I thought hahaha 54. Can you sleep facing someone? Yup55. Do you ever get in slumps? If so; how often, and how long do they usually last for? Um absolutely. I depends, anywhere from a day to weeks. 56. Do you like being alone? Yeah, but if I’m alone for too long, I get really depressed.57. Are you social? Selectively58. How do you feel about parties? Mmmm depends on what kind lol I prefer the “social gathering” type parties. No dancing or alcohol for this chick. 60. What question(s) do you love to ask people? Anything that gives me insight into who they are, be it spiritual stuff or just about how their day has (really) been. 61. What question(s) do you love being asked? Same kind of stuff, anything that leads to good conversations and stories. 

I DID IT WOO

What If? (BTS Q&A)

Hey my lovelies, HAPPY SUNDAY! Hope you all had a great day whether you are stressing out >< or whether you are having holidays. Good new is, if you are living in Malaysia, you will have Gawai holidays! (or only Sarawak for that matter?) 

But anyways! Thanks guys for leaving me ‘What If’ questions to answer on instagram. I find this really fun as i saw a lot of people doing this on instagram! It would be really nice to know what would you do if you got caught up with your favorite celebrity nice to know about your thoughts on something as well! Anywayy, i want to thank you guys deeply again. 

So basically, my ‘What If’ questions are about BTS in general! Like for example: ‘What if i met Jungkook?’ 

So shall we start?

^^ very cute picture or gif above by the way! 

Okay. 

1) What if kookie asked to stay in my house because he doesn’t have any place to stay? - asked by @/pewtaepie 

Answer : 

Omg, this answer got me shook, thanks so much ;-; Okay, OF COURSE i would i mean- but the problem is it would be more awkward because i stil live with my parents. But however, if that is the case then ofc i would still offer him a place to stay, because poor kookie! :( But if i was staying alone (no dirty thoughts here) of course everything would be less awkward because there will be no one around except me. Of course being me, i would be breathless and freak out like a potato. I would REALLY GET HEART ATTACKS. Don’t blame me if i DIE on the spot. Then, once i calmed down i would probably ask him whats the matter! Of course, (i want life to be as good as the fanfics ;) ) Hopefully by him staying at the the house we can be close friends because kookie and i share many similar interests. I would ask him to cook together and do chores together. Go to the mall together and help me with those groceries :’) Oh! and also play piano together with him singing by my side. (and you know hopefully it gets somewhere) JUST JOKING! OFC OBVIOUSLY in reality we have to sleep seperate rooms because if my virginity was lost I WOULD BE DEAD MEAT. My mother would slice my head off :”) lollll sorry the answer was just supposed to be short, but i made it freaking long. 

2) What if you found out you were childhood friends with one of the members of BTS? - asked by @/yourbutterflyy

Answer : 

Holy moly. The answer would be that im very very absolutely shook. I mean out of the blue someone tells me that i am actually connected to them? :’) daebak. Of course, knowing me i cannot sit still. I have to meet my childhood friends because i mean- childhood friends are precious. However even if i meet them they have got to remember me right? :D  If our memories were rooted very deeply or in the case that maybe he got amnesia, i would ofc try and help to recover his memories :’) And me myself would try and remember all the things we did together and then as we reunite we would have many things to talk about and so that we can recreate these memories together again :’) 

3) What if you had to choose a BTS song that you have to sing in your life forever? - asked by @/namjinmochi 

Answer: 

WOW. I had a hard time thinking of this one. But i would choose ‘Butterfly’. Its the song i fell in love at first sight. BTS songs are mainly really catchy and energizing and there are less ballads (won’t really call this a ballad) (i think its a cross between a ballad, and hiphop?) but this song gave me FEELS. IMMENSE FEELS. I cried when listening to just the instrumental version, and don’t mention the prologue. The prologue got me bawling and i could hear the butterfly instrumental in the background. ;-; This song gives me feels that can break my heart but at the same time heal it. Its like a lullaby that heals my tired and weary heart. The melody of it is very easy to remember and so its pretty chilly and cool when you can easily hum its melody :’) another song is probably run (ballad ver) i cried literally! those high notes hit my heart & also Spring Day. the lyrics are really meaningful and its a melody that you will remember for quite a long time. 

4) What if you had to choose one song BTS sang to you? - asked by @/unnati_8230 

Answer: 

Hmm like the previous question, one of my fav songs is Butterfly so i would love them to sing that :’) because i really want to see their passionate faces when they sing this song. its really aesthetically pleasing. 

5) What if i found BTS living a block down from me? - asked by @/taes_suga_kookie 

Answer: 

ASDFGHJKL!!! WOAHH WOAHHH okay. I need to chill. Like this, i am practically good as being their neighbours! Being a good citizen i would probably send some gifts for the new comers :’) because i mean its BTS and of course i have a high chance of seeing them so i want to do good deeds as their fan! Of course, if i had the chance i might even get invited to their house, but due to manyyy privacy reasons i would also try to limit myself, because their neighbourhood might be flooded with fans, and i hate crowds so... advantages and disadvantages. (the neighbourhood would be filled with screaming fangirls) but hey at least i fulfil my wishes right? :’) i am already pretty fortunately staying close to them. maybe i hope we can all be good friends too haha! there would be soooo many things to talk about. 

6) What if you became BTS’ new manager? - asked by @/bangtanfamfic 

Answer: 

OMFG WHYYY OMG AHHH - ;-; umm umm of course i would be freaking happy for this job offer like- omg! BTS’ manager its like the best job on earth :”) however being a new manager i should not attract much attention. Also, i think i need to toughen myself up because of all the fans who love to push people. I cannot be fragile on this job :’) but i am willing to learn. But things like planning schedules and doing things for the boys is a-okay! IT WOULD BE HEAVEN. I would get to talk to them everyday, and there are so many opportunities for us to get close and ofc i would get to see them in their everyday lives (it would be pretty interesting) because all i can see is them outwardly on stage and everything- but not like behind the scenes. I want to see yoongi working on music, i want to see them practicing and everything! :’) ofc, i want the previous manager to teach me many things as well! SEJIN OPPA! TASUKETE. (LOL Y JAPANESE HAHAH) 

7) What if you found out that your bias is actually studying in the same school as you? - @/preciousbngtn 

Answer: 

Hi i love you Christina and i will answer this question HAHAHAHA. BUT OI OMGGGG- If Jungkook was studying in the same school as me i would be shook asf you know. I WOULD FLIP. Obviously i want to introduce myself to him like ‘welcome to this school im rachel’ or something like that. BUT I BET THERE WILL BE SO MANY GIRLS GOING AFTER HIM  which leaves me out a chance :’) because i am always super slow hahaha! if its like this, i won’t really bother until i see him with no one. I don’t want to cause a ruckus either :’) (ill be a good girl thank you) i want to treat him like a normal classmate and friend. the rest can be all up to fate :’) of course it will be a distraction in class!!! i will not be able to pay attention damn it. 

8) What if i was BTS’ girlfriend? - asked by @/ttaevmin_ 

Answer:

OMFG!!!! OKAY UHM I CAN’T BREATHE. Okay, let me start with each member. Because you said BTS, so i will just cover members one by one. 

If i was Namjoon’s girlfriend, we would sure talk to endless hours because i believe i can talk comfortably with him, maybe even learn new things together :’) and he can teach me many new things as well! I am sure there’s lots of things to share! our dates can be anywhere! 

If i was Jin’s girlfriend we would soooo go grocery shopping together and cook amazing stuff for the boys :’) we would scold the bangtan kids together muahaha! ofc, because we share our common love for pink we can fight people who hate pinkeu :’D and ofc our date can be something simple like just stay at home and eat each others food! (i don’t mind!) 

If i was Yoongi’s girlfriend, i would try to get his ass out of bed, cheer him up with my wierdness and optimism. (we are total opposites btw) i will cheer him and motivate him daily as thats what he may need? (i will make sure i see his gummy smile) And because i love to compose, i would also do lots of composing works with him :’) i would soooo drag him out of the house and have fun HAHAHAHA but its a win win situation, at times i would just stay at the house if he wants too! however, on days 

If i was Hoseok’s girlfriend, that would be heaven on earth because Jhope is mostly similar to me. I am positive and optimistic, always happy,bubbly and friendly. We would so laugh at a lot of things and entertain the boys and be second hand embarassments as well :’) our dates can be anything! i mean- i believe hoseok seems like a very mature man to me.  

If i was Jimin’s girlfriend, i would treasure this little precious mochi :’) i would treasure him more than i treasure myself. Because his sweetness is no joke, it needs to be soooo protected. i would proabably cause lots of embarassment to him anyday, HAHAHAH but my main goal would just to be a good girlfriend and give him lots of love. Our dates can be anywhere! im not picky :) 

If i was Taehyung’s girlfriend, that would be heaven on earth as well. because uhmm character wise i am like Taehyung as well and also because taehyung’s ideal type is very much like me. i would get along with him pretty well and i think taehyung will be reaally sweet and also a protective boyfriend :’) i can very much imagine that he will love his girl til death and so being his girlfriend i would love him wholeheartedly and give him my all. 

Lastly. If I WAS MY BIAS’ GIRLFRIEND. 

If i was Jeon freaking Jungkook’s girlfriend i won’t think i will able to live for even a second. The moment i saw his smile i immediately knew that there was something about him. and from that moment, we actually have lots in common (except the fact that he is good at everything) being his girlfriend would be really humurous and funny as i feel like i am dating someone near my age. (he is just one year older than me) i think we will share lots in common and we will have many things to say as well! i don’t care if he is not good with dates or girls, i just want him to be jungkook. :’) our dates can be anywhere! but since he loves the beach we can take a drive down to the beach and hold hands in the sunset like how romantic right??!! i would live to see his cute smile anyday and i will do my best and my all to see him genuinely happy with me :’) not because he is my bias but because i love him as he is. 

9) What if Yoonmin isn’t real?- asked by @/lustyoongi 

^^ OII HOTNESS OMFG

Answer:

I WOULD FLIP. IMMA PACK MY BAGS AND GO TO KOREA AND SEE WHAT’S WRONG jokes i cannot do that but IMMA PACK MY BAGS AND GO TO KOREA. And i am not leaving until i attend all their fansigns and get them back to shape :’) anti climax : on the side of reality i would be really devasted and just cry tissues away. 

10) What if BTS had given up from the beginning? - asked by @/hoseoklq

^^ this is so funny like omfg 

Answer: 

To be honest, if they have given up i won’t be as crazy and wierd as i am now. BTS has been a factor that pushed me to become a stronger person. They are people that inspire and admire me. If they had given up i would no longer acquire this strength. BTS all in all is my happy pill, just seeing them brightens up my day. it will be a huge mistake if their group wasn’t there anymore :’( there would be a hole that kpop is missing out on. then they wouldn’t know what they would be able to achieve and how much their fans adore them. BTS’ music leaves a strong impact on the young generation. Not just the lyrics and music but also their power and image that they bring. BTS is also known as a group filled with members of different unique personalities and together they are the most beautiful moments of our lives :’) teens need to know a lot about youth and they need someone to speak up for them and to tell them ‘i know, i have gone through this, but its gonna be okay. ‘not today. today we fight.’ they need message of love and strength. thats why BTS is a group that i feel is close to me even if they are miles away. 

and finally, if they had given up, IMMA PACK MY BAGS TO KOREA. (lol why am i like this) LIKE YOU AINT GONNA LEAVE LIKE THIS BISH (JOKESS) 

11) What if Jungkook wants to be my secret admirer/what if he admirers me? - asked by @/kookienochu  

Answer: 

oKAY...OMG. Uhm, of course i cannot stop him from ‘liking’ me but it depends. Speaking from reality point of view, i don’t really believe in love at first sight unless love builds up through genuine relationships, but if he likes me i would totally feel the same way. but if we aren’t really close yet i always suggest to be my friends first :’)  but if he already knows me so well, then i think i will be ready to be his girl. I mean i may like him and all but in the end, relationships need to be genuine in order for true love to exist. i mean- no matter how much  i claim to love him, i would only like the idea of dating him, but that doesn’t mean i love him. Okay, so if i was already his really good friend and he knows me like so damn well, obviously i am ready to start this relationship. There needs to be a perfect timing and a perfect bang! to it. Even so, i need to know that whatever obstacles may pass, we must sort it out rationally and not just fight and break up for stupid reasons. Moreover, i would really feel grateful, because i was always called ugly in school, so its good to know that he finds me beautiful in my own ways. :’) remember guys, its not love just because your heart always beats around a person. its not just love if you are crushing on love. love withstands time and it takes lots of time and effort to accept someone and know their flaws and accept them still :-) 

lol i would save love talk for later. I am considered a ‘love doctor’ by my classmates and i always give ‘advice’ so if you want you can always DM in my instagram! :) 

And that is all folks! 

Do follow me on instagram if you want its @/kookiemonstae! 

If you want me to do more stuff like these you can always suggest and leave comments for more!