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#man idk. it’s a weird space to be in
kazieka · 3 months
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chronic pain thots in the tags
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moeblob · 5 months
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So I personally don't play DBD (though I think it might be fun to try but I'd be bad at it so) but a streamer I watch plays it a lot and her survival rate against Wesker players is astounding. And funny to watch. So I draw lil doodles for her Wesker interactions to put off doing other art.
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zebratimw · 11 months
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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cannotgiveafuck · 1 year
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Thinking about Billy Batson and horror and the kind of emotional / psychological damage that would be wrought on a child in that genre when he’s smart and savvy and could turn into a Champion of Magic, but is still very much a vulnerable kid. More aware of the world than those his age, but sees things through a lens adults cannot. Privy to things that only show themselves to those most likely to see them.
Anyway, have a little snippet. Might pick it back up again later.
This was the fifth night in a row that Billy was getting by on little to no sleep.
Don’t get him wrong, he could go a day or two if the going gets tough. Sometimes the winters were especially cold, or the summers really hot. Sometimes the storms got so bad that his place had leaked or the wind threatening to knock everything away. And sometimes, not now, of course, but back when it happened, sometimes Uncle Ebenezer had a bad few days that made sleeping in that house neigh impossible.
So, truly, Billy was no stranger to lack of sleep. He could survive, trust him. He could survive just about anything. But five nights was pushing it, even for a fellow like him.
The first night hadn’t even been noticeable. All sorts of noises happened in the apartment he was squatting in. There was the family down the hall with the crying baby, and the couple a few doors down that had shouting arguments, an old man across from him that couldn’t hear very well so his late night television was always turned up, and Madison next door had her new boyfriend over a lot and they were quite loud. So, Billy was used to all sorts of loud noises - but, see, those were normal noises. Just as traffic outside or a car alarm or police siren were all normal.
What wasn’t normal was the silence that shrouded over the apartment the moment his clock hit midnight.
But, Billy didn’t even notice that first night. So tired from the week long mission he was away for with the Justice League, his head hit his pillow the moment he got back and while he wanted to be out like a light, he spent most of the night tossing and turning. And really, he did not notice anything the second or third nights either. Granted a few days leave from hero work, Billy spent that time doing seasonal errands around the neighborhoods and shops. He had to earn money somehow, and not a lot of tasks were out there for eleven year olds to do. Those nights, too, were of fitful bouts, his eyes closed and willing sleep to really pull him under, but true rest just out of reach.
It was that fourth night, when he was laying there, eyes opened and staring at the ceiling with its ages old stain and crack, listening to the normal noises of the apartment complex - that was the night he noticed something was off. When all that sound was just... gone.
Billy didn’t even really notice at first. Eyelids heavy with every blink, but sleep avoiding him, the ringing in his ears that only silence could make. And when he did notice it, his brows furrowed in confusion. Thought that maybe, for once, everyone finally decided night time was for rest. Wondered if everyone else was snuggling up in their beds and under their blankets with the night chill really creeping in fierce, as it does when the heat goes out or couldn’t keep up with the winter winds. And sure, it was May, but man, it really was very cold inside all of a sudden.
He pulled the covers tighter over him, burrowing into them to stave off the shivers suddenly wracking through his small body. Eyes closed, urging sleep to please, please let him rest, Billy heard the wails of a child, or maybe a baby, just down the hall. 
Billy thought, you and me both, kid...
The fifth night, the last one he had before heading back to the Watchtower, Billy couldn’t explain why he was still awake. Staring at the ceiling again, watching the reflected lights of cars go by, listening to the old man’s television play an infomercial - he thought maybe he should do more Marvel work overnight at this rate. At least he’d be doing something useful with his time instead of trying to get sleep that would never happen. At least Marvel never was bogged down by the heavy weight of human limits.
Silence fell over the apartments again.
There was that wailing child again, too.
By the time Billy started to tune into it, really listen to the sobs, he was sitting up from his mattress, gaze on his front door. The cries were right on the other side.
Logically, Billy knew that as a hero, he should be rushing toward that door. He should be pulling it open and checking on the kid who should not be wandering the hallway crying away. He should be seeing what was wrong and try to fix it, save the day as he usually did. It was what Marvel would have done.
However, Billy did not move a muscle. He stayed right there on his bed on the floor, staring at the door he knew was locked several times over. His body refused to do anything that involved getting up and opening the door. His body barely seemed to want to breathe. His mouth shut tight and his lungs taking short, quiet breaths, even as his heart jack hammered in his chest.
Something was wrong.
Something was wrong, and not with him. Billy didn’t survive the streets this long by not listening to his instincts.
And right then, as scratching and pounding started up against the door to try to get inside - Billy’s instincts told him not to move. Told him not to let that kid inside because that the thing on the other side wasn’t a kid at all. Not when its cries got loud and lower and more guttural with every shake of the doorknob.
Not when the words that seeped through sent shivers down Billy’s spine. Made him grip the blankets, almost made him call forth the power of Shazam - the shriek of: I’m hungry, let me in, let me in, I’m hungry, hungry, hungry.
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ravenxbones · 8 months
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next up in my revamped kj designs: jet star!! 💫
she is so important to me… the space puppy tattoo is partially because of @eggbagelz’ headcanon which i saw and thought “oh definitely jet would LOVE laika” and the design is (with permission) one of my lovely friend @andpierres’ tattoo flash designs and tattoo tickets are available on his kofi if YOU would like to have a space puppy tattoo on your own skin! :)
as with the last two posts, untextured version under the cut for cleaner details and accurate colors!
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spacelazarwolf · 1 year
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always wild to get the most horrifically transphobic comments from someone then check their profile to see they have “she/they” in their bio.
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sunsetzer · 2 months
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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a-hypnos-v · 1 year
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Huh…Puppycat’s a bisexual king, isn’t he?—
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trans-xianxian · 6 months
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I think we gotta start recognizing that "things accepted online/in leftist spaces" and "things accepted by the general public in the real world" are two very different things. like no actually gnc men are Not suddenly seen as okay because there are drag queens on tiktok. men are still beaten and harassed and ostracized and Killed for being feminine. in the us. in my very liberal city full of ppl with blue hair and pronouns I am made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome for being a gnc guy. the tiktok comments on videos of men wearing make up are not indicative of the beliefs of most people
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yesmissnyx · 9 months
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are you okay with transmascs? i’m very much a boy but i still like the idea of my breasts sometimes
At the risk of sounding sappy (or worse, fake and pandering), I want it known that I love all varieties of transness and trans bodies.
I love queerness and androgyny. I love when men have soft breasts and women have wide shoulders. I love when bodies are worn with love and freedom and pride and self-expression.
I love it. I love to see it.
It makes me happy 💓💓💓
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bootay-hole · 7 months
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DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NAME OF THIS RTC PRODUCTION⁉️⁉️⁉️
i got the google drive link to this on tumblr like weeks ago and i only got around to watching it just now and i LOVED it but i forgot the name and i can’t find it 😭😭😭😭 someone pls help
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xenomorphicdna · 10 months
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Void Head Canon Moment
Ok so what if the sky wasn't real
Hold on with me here
We know that the void sea sorta dissolves everything that falls into it, it just goes, matter disappears. But wouldn't the void eventually eat everything? The ground would be all gone, and yet it's still there. We are told by Moon that:
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So what if, what falls into the void sea eventually falls as dust from the sky. Nothing is truly gone, the cycle continues. Dust that falls from the sky, to become part of a plant, or an animal and in due time to eventually return the void and fall from the sky yet again.
What if the sky was the very bottom of the void sea?
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gobledi-gook · 2 years
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Alien Gender and Biology
I think alien biology would work somewhat like fish, more specifically Clownfish!
I say this as my understanding of Clownfish is that they are all born male by default and become female when there isn’t another female around so they can reproduce.
My thinking is that aliens just don’t have a concept of gender physically or socially; and so when they want to reproduce, their bodies just change to do the necessary functions and that’s that.
Continuing; I think they would only refer to one another as names and/or possibly the first two letters of their name or the last two.
Some example; njwi lcsk wnx
“There’s Njwi, (nj or ni) is pretty fascinated with humans,”
“That’s Lcsk, (lc or lk) loves the earthlings you name ‘fish’ and takes care of a bunch of them!”
“Hey, Wnx! (wn or wx) is helping put up decor for the Mizo festival!”
Let’s try it with human names; sophie reilly noah
“Sophie really loves art! Have you seen how good (so or se) is at it?”
“Reilly is awesome! Have you seen how cool (re or ry) looks?!”
“Noah’s super smart, (no or nh) is like a Jack-of-all-trades type,”
To round it up, I think aliens would find it odd that we are stuck with the same biology our entire lives and be extremely confused about the gender roles we abide by, our use of pronouns would also probably throw them for a loop;
“But how do you know which person someone’s talking about when you say ‘he’ or ‘she’ for almost half your population?”
This has just been my two cents to the whole ‘humans are space oddities’ tag and several others :D
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coquelicoq · 10 months
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my ex, who lives alone, is apparently about to buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom, 2-garage house. what. i'm getting stressed out just hearing about it. tf you gonna do with all that space, bro? how you gonna clean all those bathrooms???
#he's like well i want one room for my home office and one room for my hobby and one guest room#add in a bedroom for him and that's still only 4 bedrooms? you have an entire extra bedroom????#plus an extra garage???#damn he thinks he's lonely now but dude just you wait until you spend every day ALONE IN A FIVE-BEDROOM HOUSE#trying not to project too much onto him but i really think this is absurd outside of my own preferences#he's been stressed living in his 1b apt bc his hobby takes up a lot of space#but i think this is just another example of his general propensity to treat the symptoms and not the disease#the problem is he's overcommitting & extending himself too much & he never finishes anything#that's what actually stresses him out#so him in a 5b house is just going to be him filling all that space with stuff until he's stressed again#anyway i have NO IDEA how to react to this because i think it's such a bad idea#i'm really bad at faking things i don't feel but i feel like it's too late to say 'wyd bro???' because apparently his offer was accepted#i did ask him how he's going to clean 4 bathrooms and he said he's just not going to use them#also it feels weird morally for a single (rich) man to buy an entire 5b house only for him in the middle of the seattle housing crisis#not like if he didn't buy it someone else would buy it and make it into affordable housing units so maybe it doesn't matter#still feels weird though and contributes to me not knowing how to react#if you have any advice for me followers...i am all ears#i've been really floundering on how to be a supportive friend to him lately#just really struggling with how to engage with him when it feels like he's his own worst enemy#and like it's not that he needs to have the same priorities as me it's just that he comes to me all stressed out and idk how to react#bc 'no shit you're stressed out. have you tried making completely different choices?' isn't a great option lol
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lottalove01 · 5 months
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rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
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What if the pornipliers were actually predatory humanoid monsters that consume human flesh and they have seductive outer forms to deceive and lure prey
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