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#making myself throw up because of all the feelings here
hidtired · 2 days
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Unfortunate Timing [Part 2]
(Daryl Dixon x Reader) Masterlist
Description: You found out your pregnant early into your relationship with Daryl Dixon. To make matters worse? The apocalypse happens a few days later! (not fully canon)
4.2k words
Warnings (Pregnancy, gore, abuse, violence, fluff, walking dead stuff, ect.)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 etc.
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A single moment can change your life, change the world. Everything only seemed to get worse. The quarry was a group of survivors that had formed. You and the Dixons were outcasts, at least it felt like it. The girls seemed to see you in low regard being pregnant. The men were no better. They saw you as a burden. The feeling of people talking behind your back stressed you out. Being pregnant also didn’t help. You felt tired all the time, also being plagued with morning sickness. Which is a stupid name when it happens all day. Throwing up in a world were food is now limited also leaves you uneasy.
You also see that stress weighing on Daryl. It wasn’t long ago he struggled with the fact of having a kid. Now seemed even more terrifying. He was becoming short tempered, to his credit only snapping at you once but regretted the way he almost made you cry. “No! I won’t take a break I have to keep going out there for food! You’ve been throwing up half the shit I’ve already gotten for you!”
He didn’t mean for it to sound like your wrong for doing so, he knew you couldn’t help it. He saw the glassy film come to the corner of your eyes. His heart tugged. You were in your tent you shared, sat on the sleeping bag with your head shamefully down. “No, no. Come on…” he angled your face back up to met his. He sank to his knees in front of you. “I know you can’t help it. M’ just trying to say you need more. I just want to make sure you’re gettin enough.” You had asked him to stay because he was rarely around. He was out alone looking for food and you couldn’t help but see every time he came back a little more on edge. He was getting into his head to much out there.
He knows you’re having a hard time. With being pregnant at this moment in time how could you not. You had tried to talk to the mothers of the camp for advice on anything, they didn’t bat an eye to you. You had looked for support and were denied it. He saw that you were being treated like a Dixon. Something he was familiar with, and something Merle also understood. Merle became more chill around you. No more sexual comments or sexist remarks. Doesn’t mean he is any less better to be around. He treated you like a sister you thought. He still was an ass. Making mean comments or complaining about something you did. But he had become family.
Andrea was your biggest pain. She seemed like she had something to prove. She hated the traditional female roles that had been pushed onto the girls. You understood her disliking for Merle but she attached that to Daryl and you as well. She didn’t say outright mean things but subtle jabs. Week after week it was chipping at your demeanor.
So here you are now, you think almost 3 months pregnant. Seeing Daryl was the highlight of whenever he appeared. You sat in your tent with him getting ready for his 2 day hunting trip for a deer he knew was near by. He signed feeling your eyes on him, “Yer breakin my heart with that look.” Your smiling face replacing your sulking one, “I’m just missing you already.” You stood up, “You should see something before you go.” He turned to you questioningly. You pulled your shirt up over your stomach and turned to the side, “I know I haven’t seen myself in a mirror for a while but, I think I’m showing?” You looked up from your little bump that you could see spotting the surprised face he was making. He gulped before talking, “Ya sure are…” he walked closer placing a hand to your tummy. You saw his teeth were clenched. He felt the weight of pressure crushing him,
“We are doing are best, that’s all I could ask form you.”
He left for his hunt a little less stressed. You also saw Merle off later into the day with the first group run to the city. “Hey do me a favor and don’t get yourself killed.” Merle turned to you, “And have those freaks naw on m' sweet ass?” You chuckle as you walk away, “Let’s just hope you remember your ass from your elbow!”
The day progress like any other. It had just become the afternoon when the sound of the radio chirped on. It cause some disagreement about making a sign to warn others about the city. You just went back to minding your own business. You helped boil water taking notice of Lori trimming her son’s hair. You spoke up noticing the displeased look on Carl's face, “Going for a mohawk Carl? Or maybe you’re thinking bald.” His nose scrunched up at the thought. You laugh at the reaction, “Bald people run faster.” Carl smiled, “Nuh-uh!” You shook your head and shrugged, “How do you know if you won’t try.” He looked to his mom, “I’d rather have hair than be faster!” He said it to his mom like he tried convincing her to not make him bald. Lori smiled at her son, “Ya me to, but if you keep moving you might be bald at the end of this.” He straightened and stilled, but he still spoke, “I hate haircuts…”
Shane came and sat down looking at you briefly. “One of these days you’ll be missing your mother’s hair cuts.” Carl rolled his eyes, "I'd like to see that day!" It had initially shocked you that Shane wasn’t Carl's dad. You always assumed for how close they were and how often they would walk into the woods together. Then it put a gross feeling into your mouth that his father had only recently died. Shane was his apparent best friend and coworker. But it wasn’t necessarily wrong, you just didn’t like to think about it often.
After finishing with boiling water you handed it to Carol. You felt sweaty and all around unpleasant. You needed a nap. You said to Carol that you were going to lay down if they needed to find you. You woke up to arguing. The group that went out had radioed saying there was a problem. Everyone was scared for their respective family that had gone to the city. You felt a pit form in your stomach. The hormones in your body already swarming causing you to be unable to control them. You picture what happened to your Aunt in front of you. Sometimes it still feels as if the blood was still on your face. The thought of knowing she was one of those things walking around somewhere. Maybe they all were already dead let her. You weren’t exactly thrilled about Merle as a person but, you knew deep down he was another person to help protect your baby.
You decided there was no use in stressing yourself, so you went and distracting yourself with chores. Laundry, moving fire wood to our fire pit, took a walk near the perimeter, which now leaves you here at the waters edge. You used the cool water to help with the swelling in your feet and ankles. Week after week you had the sense that being pregnant is going to really suck farther down the road. You fiddle with your knife while swaying your feet in the water. Lost in your own world when an echo starts to ring out throughout the quarry.
The car alarm got louder so you slipped your shoes on and walked back up to the camp. You saw a red car and Glenn standing outside of it. Shane opening the hood and pulling something to stop its beeping. People were yelling at him for answers when a van appeared, ‘so everyone made it back.’ It was a relief to stop the constant thought of the worse. You couldn’t help but notice Merle nowhere to be seen. But that thought was pushed aside when you heard Carl scream,
“DAD!”
You watched with a smile at the reunion of the Grimes family. Also taking notice of Shane making a weird face. He probably was feeling sick to his stomach and you thought it kinda deserved. He did persuade his grieving wife. The thought was interrupted by T-dog coming toward you with a concerned face. You clicked something was wrong, then started to look around. Merle was still no where. The sinking feeling of realization hit you. T-dog watch as understanding washed over you. A hand over your mouth, “W-where is Merle?” A few others turning at the mention, Lori’s husband taking the most notice. T-dog spoke first, “He was putting all of us in danger. He was cracked out of his mind.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, ‘I told him to behave.’ You inhale trying to calm yourself, “He dead?” T-dog shock his head. You nodded looking at all the pears of eyes on you. Your eyes were shiny but nothing fell. You huffed and walked back to your tent. While you were upset about Merle being gone it wasn’t about that. It proved how fucked this new world was becoming. A world your child would have to be in. Suddenly being pregnant with them seemed like the safest place for them. Your thoughts of how it would suck later in pregnancy and 'couldn’t wait for it to be over' stopped. Your child is the safest it will ever be in its life. That terrifying thought scared you.
It wasn’t until later when the sun began to set that you had calmed. It was cold and you wanted to sit by a fire. People were surprised when you appeared and sat with them. You had over heard parts about what happened to Rick. But at the sight of you got them talking about Merle. It was Dale who brought it up, “Who is going to tell Daryl Dixon about his brother?” Rick glanced to you then back to Dale, “I will. I’m the one who handcuffed him.” Then T-dog shook his head, “Nah I dropped the key, makes this one mine.” Based on that information you started to piece what happened on the run. That thought stalled to a stop when Glenn stated, “Not to make it about race but maybe a white guy should tell him?” Is that what they thought about Daryl? They just assuming he is like his brother? You huff in anger, “Really Glenn? He is not racist. He’s only the person that, you know, been feeding all of you.” Glenn turned sheepish at your harsh tone. You stood, “But you know, leave his brother for dead seems like a good trade for how much he has been doing for all of you people!”
You visible deflate mood switching on a dime. You move a hand to your small bump, “Sorry I know you probably had a good reason, Merle is a hard ass.” You sunk back down enjoying the fire too much to go to bed. Rick’s voice spoke calmly, “Your pregnant.” He stated it more as a realization. You look to his shocked face, clearly thinking of how unlucky a timing it was to be. You chuckled speaking sarcastically, “Keep up with those observations and you’re sure to make detective.” His eyebrows drawn in by thought, “Merle was the father?” Disgust washing over your face, “Ew. God I take it back.” Everyone was surprised at your blatant dislike for Merle. They knew Daryl was the dad. You start to clarify, “Daryl is the dad.” You took notice of there original reaction, “Look I don’t like Merle anymore then you probably do. Half the time I don’t think Daryl does either! But he is still at the end of the day my family now.”
Peoples lack of trying to talk to you has put there own version of you in there head. They thought you were quiet and jumpy. Questioning if they did talk to you they would do more harm then good like with Carol. Now the few talks they’ve had or heard from you made sense. You were out spoken and just tired from being pregnant. You stood up again feeling awkward. “I’m going to bed, figure out what to say to Daryl. Maybe watch out for a punch or two.” So you walked off to bed. You were happy you could see Daryl in the morning, but the thought of him learning of his brother broke your heart. You tossed and turned most of the night with the thought.
The light shining through your tent lead you awake. Still trying to cling to as much sleep while feeling drowsy. Then you heard Carl and Sophia screams. You sat up and tried to get to your feet causing a wave of dizziness. The shuffling of stomping feet telling you people were running over there. You slip on shoes taking a moment to become alright with gravity again. Amy and Andrea walking away when you walked over a voice caught your attention, “Its gotta be the brain, don’t youall know nothing?” You smiled glad Daryl is back. When you turn the corner however you weren’t expecting a walker and deer to be sprawled out dead on the floor. You made eye contact with Daryl when the smell of the walker pulled a gag from you. The smile being wiped from your face as a hand comes to your mouth. You immediately turned back around and walked away.
Daryl was well aware of how sensitive your senses have become. You can’t handle anything raw at the moment. He noticed a week into the quarry how you would look at something raw, something that never bother you before, and it would make you queasy. Speaking of raw he should probably get the squirrels ready. He sighed watching you walk away with a love sick hopelessness washed on his face. Something that people have never taken notice of before. So he called for his brother to help, so he could get to you sooner. That's when all hell broke loose.
You heard the calls for Merle hearing Daryl walk back. Then you saw all the guys surround him. Then you watched him place back and forth. You knew that was a coping thing he did so you decided to stand closer. By the time you had walked over he threw the squirrels he’d caught at Rick. You didn’t even have a moment to yell his name when the former policemen jumped him and pinned him. Shane putting him in a headlock and Rick getting in his face. You yelled in displeasure,
“Get the hell off him!”
It was the loudest anyone has heard you, also the angriest. Shane had glanced to you before releasing his hold on him. Daryl sprung back up frustration clear on his face. When he turned to make sure you were behind him you caught a glimpse of his eyes becoming glassy. T-dog chimed in from the earlier conversation you didn’t hear, “It’s not his fault, I dropped the key.” Daryl’s voice strained, “You couldn’t pick it up?!” T-dog looked down guilty, "Well, I dropped it into a drain. But before I left I chained the door shut." Daryl shock his head and started to back up, "That supposed to make me feel better! Hell with all of y'all, just tell me where he is so I can go an get him." You hated to see him upset. You weren't expecting Lori to pipe p and volunteering her husband to take Daryl there. Rick said he was planning to go back anyways saying it was wrong for anything to suffer like that. Shane being the typical hard ass and self employed leader strongly disagreed. With a few others joining it was decided, they were going to get Merle back.
You were finally alone with Daryl again. He still seemed riled over everything but also you could see he was getting emotional. He was turned around facing away from you. You slowly wrapped you arms around him, holding him from behind. He slowly turned into you resting his chin on your head and arms going over your shoulders. You felt him release air, sinking into you. He try's to hide it but you see he is exhausted. You saw he felt like he had to prove something to you, or maybe just to himself. He released you with avoided eye contact. He took a moment with you and collected himself but, he was still a man on a mission.
You watch as Daryl throw things into a bag and refusing to met your eye to avoid whatever look that would break his heart. They were about to take off back to the city and into danger, so you stopped Daryl by putting your hands to his chest. He spoke before you could, "Look I have ta go get him, I know you don't want me goin-" You cut him of by grabbing his face, "When you see him again you tell him I warned his dumb ass, and when you get him back here I'm going to chew him out for this!" He looked at you stunned. You use your grip on his face to drag him into a kiss, "And you better comeback here without a scratch!" He smiled at you, eyes soft, he kissed you again.
"Yes Ma'am."
They had left hours ago and you had that uneasy feeling again. You respected Rick more then anyone else at the camp and he just got here. He was a decent guy but feel bad watching Carl's worried expression. Lori even flipped that he was going right after she herself said he was. Mood swings on that girl, and your the one whos supposed to be pregnant. Jim was off digging which concerned a few. It led to him tided to a tree for his own safety. Granted it was the only eventful thing that would probably happen today. Unless a swamp monster dragged itself out of the water you and all the girls were doing laundry in. Although Ed was a close to one. It was a welcome distraction all the same. To have girl talk again was essential to any girl and none can say other wise. Most of the girls seemed like they could now talk to you and it was a relief.
Although Andrea kinda still sucks the life out of fun, "So how did you end up pregnant?" Most girls look over to her wet laundry in hand and displeased looks by the question. You tightly rung a shirt and looked at her in the eye, "Well, I think your a little old for the birds and bees talk." That gained an eye roll from her but chuckles from the others. You smiled before giving her the answer you are sure she was trying to dig for, "I found out a day before the fall." The thought making you think of your Aunt. You continued on anyways, "Daryl and I hadn't been dating that long I'll be honest, so it wasn't exactly planned. Then I thought it was the end of the world." You look around to the thoughtful faces around you and shrugged, "Turns out I was a day off on that though." It was lighthearted from there, mentions of things that they missed from before. Carols unexpected and less then innocent choice sent waves of laughter throughout the lady's. That fun was crushed by the swamp monster known as Ed.
It lead to something you didn't expect. His sexism rubbing everyone the wrong way. Making Andrea questioned what he did instead of sitting on his ass doing nothing. Which while true and agreed with it lead to him to try to take Carol away and most likely go hit her. When Andrea challenge Ed in doing so it left a sinking feeling in you. You were uncomfortable with confrontation, probably do with the way your parents had treated you. Even with the sinking feeling you try and pull Carol behind you. The exaltation of his action were unpredictable, "Think I won't hit some pregnant whore?!" That was the first swing. It almost fully landed grazing your cheek. Carol had used the arm you had on her to tug you back before he swung. The frightened yelps and yells grabbing the attention from those farther. Carol now stood slightly in front of you, your cold damp hand moving to your warmed cheek he clipped. Ed now focused on his wife slapping her and trying to drag her away but the other girl now stepping in and clung to her. You didn't even see Shane before he pulled Ed backwards and began to lay punch after punch into him. Everyone but Carol were stunned into silence. Carols cry's and the grunts coming from the men filled the air. So many Jim wasn't the only thing that was going to happen today.
Everything was tense after that. With the amount things gone wrong and the still missing members that went to the city, moral was low among the group. Later in the evening Amy and Andrea had gone fishing catching dinner. The sun drifted closer to fully set as the fish was cooked with one question still in there minds, 'Where were they?' The smell of the fish left you gagging and need for fresher air. You found you way back to the water to dip you again swollen feet. It wasn't a unusual thing you did, you did it often. Knife in hand and legs swaying in the cool water. The light dissipated making you aware you should get back soon. You had heard laughs by the camp so moral was rising from the stressful day. You used your cold hands to press to your reddened face from almost getting flattened out by Ed. Daryl would will not be happy about that. You had pulled you feet from the water shaking the water off them to put your shoes on. Then the day got even worse. A scream ripped threw the air making you turn to the sound. You see outlines of figures in the dark. You feel fear crash into you.
'Walkers...'
There were even two coming closer to you from the woods to the side of the water. They had almost snuck up on you if you hadn't looked around because of the scream. A tremble was in your hand as you gripped the knife you had. You slowly back away, hearing gunshots off in the air. Daryl had taught you this for this moment. He had grilled this into in fear that maybe he wouldn't be around to protect you. The first walker was a thin women, the other a male missing its arm and limping. You lunged the knife into the women's eye. Your knife breaking by the blade as the women fell over dead. The snapping of the metal was like slow motion, the other walker steps away from you. You step back bare feet getting hurt by the jagged rocks. You had looked down spotting a larger rock and hurriedly pick it up.
You remember the motions Daryl had showed you for self defense but had never practiced them with him. He didn't really like the idea of rough housing with his pregnant girlfriend even if it was for your defense. You reached and tugged the one arm the walker had and tripped the thing in the motion. It was flat on the floor about to get back up and grab at you. However, rock in hand you threw downward blows one after another even after the thing stopped moving. Blood splatting all over you shirt and down your arms. The buzz of adrenalin causing your hands to violently shake when you stopped swinging. The urge to cry was strong but you notice the now slue of gunshots that had increased stop. The silence broken by the yell and worried cry for your name.
"Y/N!!!"
Your body fluttered at the sound of Daryl. Still bare foot you ran up the gravel hill and yelling back to him with a emotional in your voice, "DARYL!!!" You had made it to the top getting to see him wipe around to your voice. His crossbow dropped to the ground as you both booked it toward each other. He didn't know what to think when he couldn't find you after the last walker fell. The inability to find you cracking a desperate hole into his chest. When he heard you and saw you running to him relief flooded him. As he ran panic rose again seeing you dripping in blood. Inches apart he heard your desperate sobs before crashing into one another. He pulled you off your feet lifting you into him. His voiced stuttered out, "Are you bit?! Are you ok?!" You voice quivering as you sucked in a breath. "I'm alright-t." He felt you shaking like a leaf and whispered into you, "I've got ya, nothin is gonna hurt ya." You had barred your face into his neck now crying in relief. Daryl helped you get cleaned up, that night you clung to him while everyone 'slept'. A moment can change everything, and it was clear to everyone after today.
They were no longer safe here and things were only going to get worse.
Part 3
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Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz
Title: Is this right?
Pairing: Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz
 Characters: Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz  
Prompt: Carlos has his first rut, since mating Charles.
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Charles throws all his stuff into his room and makes his way to Carlos' room, just like he does every race weekend, it's surprising that Ferrari still bother to pay for two rooms, especially since now they are mated, thanks to the accidental mating bite during Charles' last heat, but it's been the best things that's happened to them.
"You need to leave, sorry Charles." Carlos' pokes his head round the door, his usual perfect hair all over the place. "Why?" It comes out a lot more bratty than he intended, but it's almost been two weeks since he's seen his mate and the omega inside of him is crying out for it.
"Rut, I can't control myself around you." This is news to Charles, his rut isn't scheduled until the summer break. "I'm your mate Carlos, that's why we were together for heats and ruts or whatever." Charles pushes past Carlos and goes into the room.
"But, I can't control myself Charles..." Carlos' rut scent is so strong in the room, that Charles can feel himself slicking up, soaking his underwear. "I will help you Carlos."
That must be all Carlos needs to hear because the next thing Charles' knows is, Carlos rugby tackling him and flipping him onto his stomach on the bed. Charles squeals in delight, hard cock rubbing against the bed sheets.  
"Going to fuck you so hard." Carlos growls, ripping off Charles' sweat pants. "So wet for me, such a good little omega." Carlos pushes his face into the wet patch on Charles' boxers and eagerly licks up the slick, leaking out of him.  
"My perfect omega." Carlos' pushes down Charles' boxers shorts and pushes his tongue into the river of slick leaking from Charles' hole. It feels amazing, Charles digs his fingers into the sheets and thrusts up his ass, wanting even more.
"I can't wait anymore, are you sure about this?" Charles whines in protest as Carlos pulls away from him. "Please Carlos." The Spaniard is back instantly, pushing a pillow under Charles' body, raising his ass to the perfect angle.
"Fuck Charles, such a pretty omega, i'm going to fuck you full of my pups." Carlos takes his own dick into his hand, it's huge, Charles can't wait to feel it filling him up, fucking him, breeding him. "Please Carlos."
Carlos seems to have lost all his senses now, he gives a growl as he lines himself up against Charles' dripping hole and sinks inside. It feels like heaven, he can't help but let a long moan at finally getting what he wants, to be filled up by his alpha.
"Mine, mine ,mine." Carlos growls starting to move instantly, filling Charles with brutally hard thrusts, using his hands to spread Charles' cheeks apart, watching as his cock disappears inside of him.
Charles squeals in delight as Carlos takes his arms and pins them behind his back, his lips pressing against his ear. "Who do you belong to? " Charles moans arching his back. "Yours, all yours alpha."
"Yes Carlos." Charles see stars as Carlos hits his prostate dead on, his cock lays leaking and abandoned below him, he's too high up to rut against the bed sheets and with his arms behind his back, he has no choice but to take what Carlos gives him like a good little omega.
"Please Carlos." Charles moans, pushing his hips back trying to get Carlos to hit his prostate again. "You take what I give you, omega." Carlos growls into his ear, it sends shivers down his spine.
Carlos does start hitting his prostate with every thrust, slamming into it so hard, Charles can barely keep up, wave after wave of pleasure fills him up. "Do you want my knot, pretty little omega?"
"Hmmm." Charles can barely focus, his orgasm is almost here, with one last slam onto his prostate he comes harder than he ever has in his life, spilling his load over the sheets below him.
"I said, do you want my knot, omega?" Carlos thrusts into Charles with all his might now, his knot getting bigger and bigger with every thrust. "Please, give me your knot, want to feel it inside me, filling me to the brim."
"Going to knot you baby, fill you up with my come and put my pups inside of you, bet you would love that?" Charles moans. "Please alpha, give me all your pups." That must have set off the primal part of Carlos' brain off, he growls and sinks his teeth into the mating bite on Charles' neck, opening up the old wound.
"Fuck, Carlos." Carlos grunts in response, licking up the blood on Charles' neck in a silent apology as his knot swells to full hardness and catches on Charles' rim, keeping them stuck together.
"I'm sorry Charles, are you okay?" Carlos comes back to his senses, at least for a little while until the next waves starts. He gently moves Charles onto his side and pulls them into a spooning position. "I'm fine Carlos, nothing to be sorry for at all."
"I know I helped you with your heat, we just didn't discuss this."  Charles shrugs. "I just assumed this what we do, you help me and I help you, we are mates after all."
Carlos' knot finally pops and fills up Charles with his hot, alpha cum. "As much as it pains me to say it because i'd love to put a pup in you but are you still on birth control?" Charles nods. "No pups until my racing career is over."
"I want to knock you up so bad, put so many pups in you, lock you away and pregnant, keep you just for me. Would you like that Charles?
It seems round two has started much faster than Charles thought.  
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blackhairedjjun · 19 hours
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staying afloat - k.th
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pairing: kang taehyun x gn reader | genre / tropes: angst, argument -> makeup, implied friends to lovers, office worker!taehyun, the subtlest of love confessions | word count: 899 | warnings: burnout and exhaustion from overwork
part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)
prompt - HEAT: while engaged in a passionate argument with one another, sender, in the heat of the moment, blurts out “i love you!” to the receiver. think of like, that glorious trope where people have a huge argument and then suddenly sb drops the mic with “because i’m in love with you!” and silences the other person. u know the trope! (requested by anon)
author's notes: HI ANON im sorry this took sooooo long. as i said, this was hard for me to write bc i already did the heat prompt twice before and i didn't want to be too repetitive with the arguments... the argument here is a bit calmer and more one-sided on yn's part but i hope it still works!
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“you are running yourself into the ground, taehyun!” you grab his shoulders and give him a little shake. taehyun watches you closely, and you can see the darkening circles under his eyes. 
he’s still standing before the threshold of your home, right in front of the door. with just one step he could walk in if you weren’t blocking his way. outside, the night air is so cold that you shivered instantly upon opening the door for him. the sky is dark, with neither moon nor stars, and the only light comes from the fluorescent bulb at the doorway.
“y/n, you’re up working too,” he says. his voice is steady but firm. “you can’t tell me what not to do when you’re also working like this.”
“i’m doing overtime for just one night, for god’s sake. but you 一 you’ve been so busy and tired for what, two weeks? you forget to answer my texts. forget!” you throw your hands up. “and you’ve never forgotten before, not in all the years that i’ve known you.”
taehyun stuffs his hands into his pockets and his gaze flickers away from yours for a second before it returns. though he tries to stand his ground, you notice the soft look in his eyes, laying bare the tiredness and worries weighing down on him.
“well, i’m here now. why won’t you let me make it up to you?”
“because it’s one in the morning and you’ve been staying up late for overtime and extra projects for what, two weeks now? you go home late and you wake up early, your boss dumps all this work on you, and you barely get any time off!” you take a step closer, now fully exiting the warmth of your home, to stand so close to him. “please, taehyun. it��s not that i don’t want to see you, but you’re so, so tired. i can see it in your face.”
you reach out to touch his face, but his expression goes taut and your hand hovers just inches away. he turns away from you before you can scan his eyes for the tired look you saw; a cold breeze blows by, causing both of you to shiver and pushing the bangs away from taehyun’s forehead.
he looks... sadder than what you remember. you remember how easily his face would light up before he took on his new position at his job; he would smile at the smallest of your remarks, his big eyes sparkling like jewels. you thought of the steady stream of texts from him day after day, reminding you to eat or commenting on a silly photo you took, and how that stream soon turned into a trickle. the memories make your body feel heavy.
taehyun says nothing for a few moments and just lets out a sigh. when he looks back at you there’s a pained look that wasn’t there before, and you feel an ache in your chest at the sight.
 “y/n, i... i don’t want you to worry about me like this. i can’t... i can take care of myself. please, please just trust me. i hate watching you worry like this.”
“oh, you hate watching me worry?” your tone rises before you even realize it. “and i hate watching you turn into this! you’re exhausted, taehyun. you’re not yourself anymore. i can’t even remember the last time i saw you smile! do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love lose himself like this?”
you tremble in your spot and your words start to trip over themselves. your emotions pile onto each other, keeping you from speaking straight: some anger, yes, but mostly disappointment, worry, loneliness, fear. “i ha一 i hate seeing you like this, taehyunie. i can’t一 i can’t watch一 i love you too much to see this一”
taehyun cuts you off to pull you into a hug. he holds onto you so tightly, as if trying to wrestle you away from the emotions gripping you. one of his hands makes his way through your hair. angry tears prick at your eyes but you relax in his hold, finally letting out a sob.
“i’m sorry,” he says, his hand combing through your hair then rubbing your back. “i know you’re just looking out for me... and you’re right. i am exhausted...”
something shifts and now you feel his full weight on you. now you’re the one holding him, his head moving to rest in the crook of your neck, his shoulders fully slumped. the weeks of exhaustion have finally caught up to him, and you wrap your arms around his waist to prop him up.
“i’m sorry, y/n,” he repeats. “for not... listening to you... for forgetting...”
your hold on him tightens and tears stream down your face, but you manage to speak. “i just don’t want you to hurt yourself...”
neither of you say anything more. taehyun doesn’t let go of you and sinks fully into your touch; despite the chill night air, he’s still warm in your arms. you let your tears fall freely as you keep a firm hold on the friend you love, as if letting go of him means he will sink and drown.
the night is so quiet that the murmur he lets out against your neck still comes out loud and clear.
“i love you too.”
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xoxoavenger · 2 days
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🎁🎈🎂🎉🎊 I loved Try Me (Matt Murdock x Reader), I was wondering if maybe you could write a sequel? I could see an intimate moment where she’s feeding him the soup she made and taking care of him, potentially with the hilarity of Foggy finding out he’s got two super powered friends
thanks! hopefully this is what you were looking for, I had fun writing it!
Ask Me
pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader
word count: 1099
warnings: none
part 1
birthday masterlist main masterlist
"I can't believe you're Daredevil." She mutters as she ladles the soup into a bowl. She made a broth more than a soup because she didn't have time to cut the vegetables, but it'll do the trick. She also didn't know the extent of Matt's injures, and she didn't want him to have trouble eating anything. "Does Foggy know?" She asks as she brings the bowl over to the couch.
"Yes," Matt chuckles, but his teeth are clenched in pain. She kneels next to the couch and she is still shocked by his injuries, even though she's already seen them. He has a large cut across his chest, and resists the urge to touch it.
She watches Matt try to sit up, but he's clearly in too much pain. She puts the soup on the ground in favor of helping him up. She tries not to let her pulse rush as she touches his bare back and bicep, pulling him up gently until he is sitting up enough to eat.
"Here, let's get you some food." She tells him, spooning some broth and then carefully helping him eat some. It's so quiet in the apartment that she swears she can feel her own heart race as she feeds Matt. They're close, and her brain is reeling with the thought of how Matt, and blind man, can be a vigilante.
"I think that's good." Matt groans when they're about three fourths of the way though the bowl. She gets up to put the bowl away and grab a warm, wet cloth.
"How are you Daredevil?" She asks, sinking down to her knees again and beginning to wipe off the blood around his wounds.
"Are you asking if I'm actually blind?" He questions, but he's smiling, so she can tell he's joking. 
"I know you're blind, Matt." She says with a small sigh. She's seen his unfocused eyes too many times to think he was just preteneding. 
"All my other senses are heightened." He tells her, tensing as she begins to wipe a big, deep cut. She hopes that soon her healing food will kick in; she's never seen it help on this level, and she's worried it won't work as well as Matt is hoping it will.
"So, you can hear really good?" She asks, wondering what exactly that means. He shrugs, smiling a little bit.
"And smell, and taste. And feel. I have to have specific sheets because of how sensitive my skin is." He's feeling better, she can tell, and it makes her smile.
"How did figure it out?" She asks quietly. She's had these powers ever since she can remember, but she'd never told anyone and no one ever figured it out either. This is a first, sharing a gift, and she can't help but feel a little scared.
"That your food could heal people?" He clarifies. She almost nods, but then catches herself.
"Yeah," She confirms.
"You asked me what happened again the day after you first gave me the croissant, as if you knew it should have gone away. And I usually have accelerated healing anyway, but not that fast. You wouldn't have known that." He's starting to relax more, and she knows he needs to get some sleep soon.
"You wanna move to the bed?" She asks, putting the cloth down and preparing to move him. Before he can answer, Foggy comes stomping back in.
"So both of my best friends are super heroes?" He yells, throwing the drugstore bag in their general direction. Y/N's eyes widen as Foggy walks to them.
"I am not a super hero." Y/N clarifies.
"I wouldn't classify myself as one either." Matt interjects, a hand out to stop Foggy's rant. It does nothing, and Foggy soldiers on.
"You can feel, hear, and smell things no human should be able to feel, hear, and smell." He points at Matt, who raises an eyebrow. "And you can heal people with your food, that you've been feeding me for months!" Foggy moves to Y/N, and she just shakes her head.
"Have you ever wondered why you haven't gotten sick in months?" She asks, and he just scoffs.
"That proves my point!" He screams. Y/N and Matt shake their heads, Matt smirking.
"Foggy, neither of us are superheroes. You don't need to freak out." Matt tries to calm him down, but Foggy just gets more worked up.
"Are you kidding me? You could be Avengers for all I know!" Foggy grabs the bag that he had thrown and begins to get some of the bandages and Neosporin out to help Matt.
"Oh my God," Y/N groans, rolling her eyes and putting her head in her hands. Honestly, Foggy freaking out was kinda funny, but she isn't sure if he's being serious now or not.
"We're not Avengers, Foggy." Matt chuckles, and Y/N begins to put bandages over Matt's injuries.
"Well I just don't know that, do I?" Foggy looks over at the pot on the stove, walking over there quickly. "What did you make?"
"Just a quick broth. I wanted to get Matt something quick." She tells Foggy as she begins to focus on the task at hand.
"Is this why I haven't gotten paper cuts?" Foggy asks as he ladles a little soup out for himself.
"It doesn't make you skin extra strong, Fog." Matt tells him as she continues bandaging him up. Her hands brushing his skin make Matt want to crawl out of his skin in a good way, which didn't make sense until this very moment.
"Did I hurt you?" Y/N asks softly when he tenses.
"No," He mutters, putting a hand on her wrist to stop her. "It's okay, I think the big ones are taken care of." He just wants to lay down and sleep it off now, but he wants to ask her one more thing.
"Let me help you to your room." She offers, and together, with him leaning on her, they make it to Matt's room.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asks as they sit down. He can feel the heat begin to flush her cheeks, her heart beginning to race. He's worried still that maybe she feels uncomfortable until she responds.
"Working." She thinks she's funny, and Matt chuckles.
"Do you want to go to Josie's with me tomorrow night?" He asks, and she ducks her head and smiles.
"As long as my boss lets me off on time." She says, nudging him with her shoulder.
"I'll talk to him." He tells her, both of them smiling hard enough that their cheeks hurt.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @thefandomplace  @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch
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gemini-sensei · 2 days
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same anon from before, some more jaime thoughts.
sub! jaime where reader makes him cum in his own mouth. idk what this position is called but basically he's bent over forwards towards his face. basically imagining jerking him off and massaging his balls and giving him so good old verbal encouragement. "if you're a good boy and swallow jaime, i'll let you take me from behind and give me a creampie"
there's almost something about jaime that makes me really want to suck his dick. particularly i wanna look him right in the eyes and see the look on his face when i lick him from balls to tip. i saw another fic on here that described jaime biting his knuckles and he totally would. i also think he would be really cute and make lots of whimpers and soft moans and not know what to do with his hands. but i would shift his dick to one side of my mouth and let it press up against the side so he can see the indent and grab his hand and bring it to my face so he can feel it through my cheek. i feel like that would make him cum instantly.
also maybe kinda weird? but i wanna get super wet and drag myself along his body, like his chest his pelvis his thighs all covered in my fluids just to tease him before i finally scoop some up and rub it all over his dick before i finally slip it inside.
sorry if this is deranged but he just activated the supreme horny part of my brain
I don't blame you for the horny thots because Xolo is sp fucking fine and his performance in BB was phenomenal and sexy 🤤 send all the horny that's you want 😅
Making him come in his own mouth tho- hold on, I need a minute because it's so 🥴🥴🥴 your asks are making me unable to word properly, they are so great.
But seriously, the way he'd whine and moan only to be told he has to keep his mouth open wide or else he won't get a nice prize for doing all this. And when he's told to swallow or he doesn't get to creampie Reader, his eyes widened and he is listening. The romp that follows is still a lot of whining and Jaime trying to be dominant from behind but we all know Reader is in charge, pushing her hips back into his thrusts and making him almost bust every time but she tells him when to come and he knows that. So he's pretty much edging himself while fucking her until she tells him when it's okay to come.
Jaime would love having his dick sucked in all honesty. He wouldn't say it but it's so obvious. Reader could just put the tip in her mouth and he'd be melting. He would so bite his knuckles! OMG and it would be so hot. He doesn't even know he's doing it and just watching Reader work his dick into her mouth. His other hand is just hanging by his side because he literally doesn't know what to do with it, but as soon as she takes it and makes him feel his dick through her cheek, he's pressing it against her face because that is so fucking hot and he's gonna bust. Mutters an "Oh fuck," just before that happens.
He loves to get teased but not too much and to be teased with wet pussy all over his body except where he needs it - either his mouth or his dick - he will be on the fast track to whining and moaning about it. He's so close to turning into a brat because of it before Reader is prepping his dick and getting him ready, he throws his head back and moans in some relief at finally being touched. And then she sits on his dick and he's in heavy. Honestly, he could come right then and there, but again, he knows better and has more self-control than that. And scooping up some of her juices off of his chest and sucking it off of his fingers- he'd totally do that.
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sunshine-overload · 2 days
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[BSTS] Kokuyou Birthday 2024 4* Card Story
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chapter 1 -starless hallway-
kokuyou: Oh so you’re here today huh? Come to enjoy my hospitality this month have you?
saki: Wah?
kokuyou: I’m talking about the special butler service we’ll be doing for my birth month. I figured I should at least get used to the outfit first. Not like I’ve got much choice. I’m too old to be throwing a fit and saying I don’t wanna do it.
saki: That’s very mature of you.
kokuyou: But still, last year we all made merry choosing presents and this year we’re cosplaying butlers? As usual, the way this store works ain’t normal.
saki: (I can’t imagine Kokuyou-san acting like a proper butler and serving guests like that at all.)
kokuyou: What’s with that strange look you’re giving me? Anyways, look forward to it, yeah?
saki: Huh?
kokuyou: You’re way to easy to read. C’mon, I’ll escort you to your seat.
-starless restaurant area-
kokuyou: Here’s the menu. I’ll attend to the other guests while you decide what you’d like to order. Is that ok?
saki: Ah, yes. That’s fine.
kokuyou: Sorry, I’ll be right back.
-koku moves to another guest-
kokuyou: Hey, you’re a regular aren’t you? Your seat is this way, follow me.
-koku moves to another guest-
kokuyou: I don’t need to give you a long welcome spiel do I? So, what do you wanna order?
Got it, I’ll bring it out once it’s ready… What, you think I’m lacking as a butler? I’m missing a my butler’s smile? Hah, you must still be half asleep. That’s not what you really want from me is it?
saki: (H-he’s killing it out there!)
-koku moves to another guest-
kokuyou: I see your glass is empty. What would you like for your next drink? You’ll leave it to me? I’ll make sure to get you something real exciting then.
Yeah of course it’ll be low on the alcohol, the show hasn’t even started yet after all.
Ah sure, you can take one quick photo. I’m only giving this kinda service while it’s my birthday month, so you better enjoy it.
-
chapter 2 -starless lobby-
saki: (I wonder if Kokuyou-san is still in the restaurant area?)
-cg
kokuyou: You’re still here? I thought you’d gone home already. Today’s butler service has already ended I’m afraid, all the guests have left. Or did you forget your bag or something?
saki: No, but I did forget to say something… Happy Birthday, Kokuyou-san. I’m glad I got to celebrate such a special day with you.
kokuyou: …Yeah, thanks.
kokuyou: ……..
kokuyou: Hey, do you still have some time?
saki: Hm? Yes.
kokuyou: Wait there in that seat then.
-koku leaves-
saki: (Kokuyou-san…? I wonder what he’s doing.)
-time pass, koku returns-
kokuyou: —I am most sorry for the wait, my lady.
saki: …!?
kokuyou: Please enjoy this drink. I prepared it just for you, Miss Saki.
saki: Wh- Huuuh…!?
kokuyou: Tonight please allow me to take care of whatever it is that you wish.
saki: I couldn’t make you do that…! Um, Kokuyou-san…?
kokuyou: …Pfft, how come you’re freaking out? I’m a butler at the moment, right? So you should act the part too.
saki: Huh!?
kokuyou: So, my lady. What is it that you desire?
choice:
Have tea together / Don’t be unreasonable! / Excuse yourself
>have tea together
saki: Would you like to join me for some tea?
kokuyou: Very well. Then, please allow me to take the seat beside you.
saki: O-of course…!
-koku sits down-
kokuyou: Hahahah, we’re both pretty bad at this huh? You can’t stay in character at all.
saki: That’s because you sprung this on me so suddenly, I couldn’t help but be surprised!
kokuyou: I think that should do it. I had just been planning to entertain you a little as thanks for the birthday wishes but I ended up having fun myself.
I don’t consider my birthday to be anything special, its just another normal day like any other. However, it wasn’t half bad hearing you congratulate me. So thanks, Saki.
I’ll make sure to properly play my part as your butler for the rest of the month, so come and visit the store whenever you feel like it. I’ll have to say this every time won’t I?
“Welcome back, my lady.”
—end
other choices:
>don’t be unreasonable
saki: Hmph! You’re being unreasonable!
kokuyou: Hah… My deepest apologies. Please grant me your forgiveness, my lady.
saki: Oh, no! I’m sorry too— Ah, wait, oops…
kokuyou: Hahahah, we’re both pretty bad at this huh? You can’t stay in character at all.
>excuse yourself
saki: Please excuse me.
kokuyou: What are you saying, my lady?
saki: Uhh… I can’t think of anything else to say…!
kokuyou: Hahahah, we’re both pretty bad at this huh? You can’t stay in character at all.
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~ Forgetting is just forgetting... ~ I am a very simple man: I adore American Mcgee's Alice (and Madness Returns) and have been replaying it recently and just, so many quotes really vibed with the Rusty Lake characters! So take this elaborate piece on forgetting, be it not being able to have someone forgive your own actions. Or perhaps you're the one who can not forgive or forget yourself... Collaboration piece with @nattravn-art! Thanks for your adding of all the pazzazzs for this work of art T3T
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faggotslime · 1 month
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having a burnout meltdown at work haha
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itwoodbeprefect · 15 days
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inspired by my own 9-1-1 / bad buddy post, here's a bad buddy / starsky & hutch sequel about cutting ties with your past, polluting the ocean, throwing small shiny rectangular objects, etc. 🌊
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#this is fully a shitpost but also. i DID get into it and go a little insane over how well tiny parts of this happen to match up#as you may be able to tell by how many cuts back and forth this has. and how interminably long it is. i know 2+ min is an eternity online#i would say nobody asked for this but i would be lying because i asked myself. and i delivered!!#video#*#bad buddy#starsky and hutch#anyway of course i have more to say:#1) worth noting that pat and pran are specifically in a zero waste village. it's all about NOT polluting the ocean fdjkf#2) watching all of this a bunch of times... dear god starsk. hutch. take like five steps closer to the water maybe#the way things stand they have to throw those badges a LONG way or they're barely going to make a splash#(also. please don't hit those birds. the birds did not invent Society)#3) i'm glad the bad buddy dynamic is what it is because if it weren't. that would have been one of the meanest things pat does#4) sometimes i go. yes bad buddy is corny and cringe but that's okay!! it's fun!!#and then i remember hutch unironically says things like well partner. the way i see it this old badge has polluted me just about enough#and i realize that i've BEEN here. i've BEEN in the corny cringe. i am rolling around in it#5) as mentioned in tags on previous post. yelling your feelings at the ocean is very much a recurring trope in queer movies and tv#i should start making a list actually maybe. but also. if getting rid of their badges with synchronized throws wasn't enough by itself#i'm pointing at bad buddy (explicitly queer). i'm pointing at starsky and hutch. i'm seeing dots#there's just Stuff to talk about here you know. dear god is there ever Stuff
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I’m really starting to feel like Gregor Samsa now
#exjw#going pomo#my mom knows I’m gay and also “opposed” but my dad doesn’t yet so I’m hiding in my room#So naturally I don’t feel well; but I’m going to work anyway because I don’t feel as bad there as I do here#Now all I need is for my dad to throw something at me (I don’t think he would but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did)#I think my mom is hoping that maybe when I start ADHD meds I’ll “come to my senses”#because she asked if I thought my ADHD had anything to do with my decisions#And she went on and on yesterday reading stuff she researched about these specific meds#Like… no? If anything the ADHD meds will make me pack up faster because then I won’t be as inhibited to gtfo#She oddly doesn’t seem as angry/sad as I thought she would; so maybe she hasn’t fully accepted it yet#I start meds tomorrow btw so we’ll see what happens. Hell of a time to be messing with my brain chemistry sjdjdjdjdndndn#This will either make things way better or way worse. We’ll see#I’m just afraid that they’ll make my already VERY high anxiety worse because they are stimulants#the anxiety wasn’t high before but it is now that I’m obligated to tell my dad knowing how much he hates gays#I don’t want to suddenly pass out projectile vomit or shit myself; because that’s what high anxiety does to me#I’ve almost passed out twice because of nerves in the past year in reaction to this situation#one such incident occurring just three days ago… while projectile vomiting
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allisonreader · 8 months
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My heart hurts. Not physically, but emotionally. I don't like the news, I tend to avoid actively searching it out, for that exact reason. I ache because as people we just can't seem to get along. Learn to compromise and fully try to understand the other side. It's exhausting to understand why people are against certain things, even when it's the opposite of what I personally believe in.
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spotsupstuff · 8 months
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ur grading people and if they get an f theyre blocked? my main you aint a kindergarten teacher this is a microblogging platform
yeah, that's why there's that function called blocking! :) cuz this is a microblogging site! that's what microblogging platforms have! :) so you don't have to put up with people's shit! :) interesting that kindergarten teachers where you live are capable of blocking people in real life, hope you had fun with that
#spot says stuff#this is the INTERNET You are the one who curates your own fucking experience and if i dont like someones vibes or what theyre saying to me-#-they are going to get blocked! ''grading'' people??? its called judging people and having set boundaries and self respect#im not here to conform to strangers tastes n the need to Watch Me i dont care about that more than i care about myself#i am not a ''content creator'' i am not someone with some power like a ''kindergarten teacher'' i am a stranger to All of you and-#-just another tumblr user and i dont owe you fucking anything just like nobody Here owes me anything besides base respect#n base respect includes watching what you say to people. i dont have to put up with strangers faults. im holding everyone here accountable-#-for their actions and words because i believe that you are capable of being a good considerate human person n acting sensibly#what would happen if i blocked a person on Tumblr Dot Com. the goddamn apocalypse? please. blocking isnt controlling people around you-#-its Boundaries. you can get over some random bitch blocking you on the internet. its not my responsibility if someone decides that their-#-entire emotional wellbeing depends on a *Stranger*#i have P@NSEAR blocked cuz i just Dont like their content. if someone ''gets an F'' from me for behaviour then MAYBE theres a REASON?#''ur grading people'' goddammit man who Isnt judging the people around them and the interaction they have with them#HOW many times ive said ''feel free to block me!'' in a positive way cuz of smth as small as a too gorey design. what do u think-#-blocking is ysee??? ''you are acting entitled'' because i AM! i AM entitled to having a good comfortable experience on the INTERNET#just like ANY OF YOU. please anon! you dont like my way of treating myself on the Internet do just that! block me! i wont throw a fuss??#if Anyone here doesnt like the smallest aspect of me judge me. i invite you to. judge me and if that aspect is too loud for you Block me#to get along with this anons absolutely correct n in place anecdote: Grade Me. give me an F. boot me from the school whatever That means#keep yourself safe and make your experience on the internet comfortable#i cant tell if youre one of those dumb anon askers who r just lookin for attention or fight Or a reasonable person but heres my look at it#entertain it before you disregard it. got me pissed off from the moment i wake up u dont even know bout my whole blockin system dear god
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Me: has my sixth sudden crying spell of the week
Also me: "yeah but I'm probably not ACTUALLY depressed"
#gonna be honest boys. I have been feeling like dogshit#started with me having a good ol' existential spiral at 4 am a week ago and now I don't even know what's bothering me#and then there's all of the bad stuff going on making me anxious for myself and everybody on top of everything#all the abhorrent transphobia has been making me feel worried for the future#(as if the passing of time doesn't already horribly scare me but I digress)#idk man. I already feel like I'm unequipped for the future because I've realized I never thought I'd still be alive right now#majority of my childhood was filled with adults preaching at me to think about where I'd be going in the afterlife so I did just that#that plus they were the type to believe that the rapture is soon cause “the signs are all coming true”#so I always thought that either that would happen or I'd die before now#well. I'm still here and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.#and I'm lonely. really fucking lonely and I'm going mad cause of it#never had actual friends besides the kids I was with at my old private school. now they're all raging conservatives who mock minorities#I was able to get away but moving on isn't as easy as I hoped#it'd be so much easier to betray all my beliefs and act ignorant again so I can have my friends back#but of course I can't do that. I can't throw out who I am and all of the wonderful people I know who would be “sinful” in their eyes#idk man. I think I've finally reached the breakdown I've been feeling coming for the past two years#fuck. sorry for this trauma dump of a post. I've just felt numb for months and now everything's catching up to me#needed to yell about it I guess#vent#phoenix prattles
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feralnumberfive · 2 years
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Sorry for slow moving with my asks and replies ya'll the excitement for S3 has fried my brain 💀 I'm also still actively trying to figure out the S3 Discord Server too but hopefully I'll be done with that in the next few days
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I'm still crying 😠
#this is the kind of blow that would have made me actively suicidal a few years ago and yes i realize how stupid that is#as things are now... I'm not coping *well* but I'm managing to hold onto anger so the depression doesn't totally take over#but i can not stop crying#every time i think I'm finally done it starts up again#this has also pushed my anxiety to the point where i feel like I'm going to pass out throw up or both and i can't stop shaking#audiobooks with my noise canceling headphones were my best/only semi-effective tool for dealing with anxiety#and yes i know. reading is a privilege and i should just be grateful that books are available in my country & that we have libraries at all#this year has been one thing after another and even small things like this pile up and eventually become overwhelming#and this happening as my seasonal depression is really ramping up was just the fucking cherry on top i guess#i almost just. deleted this blog lmao. what's the point of having a book blog when i can't really read right?#but i keep telling myself nothing lasts forever and i will regret it if i throw away an 8 year old side blog#but even looking at books is making me feel even more nauseous and shaky right now#so i might be on hiatus after my queue runs out idk#depends on how long this churning pit of despair lasts i guess#and also. this happened at a holiday weekend all i can't even make a 1-2 hour drive to a library to renew or get a new card#because libraries around here close between 4 & 6PM most days and i can't get to one after my partner gets home from work before they close#everything about this situation is like. worst timing.
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munamania · 1 year
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kk i’m torn between am i ever gonna say anything like. fr to her. or just let this go. i don’t think i can let it go ik you don’t need to closure in every situation but like. i do this time. but im in no rush to have the feelings talk. actually i am it’d be nice to just get it out
#would be sort of funny to ruin their one year anniversary. or embarrass myself depending on how u look at it.#idk man im just tired of feeling like my feelings might be put on blast between them and im not even the one acting like a freak.#and then they just get to carry on in their stupid little relationship#just once i'd like to throw it back in her face like i think your bf is pathetic for the way things have been handled#and ive been nothing but kind and respectful to both of u (even if im privately seething). and i dont deserve to be#an ego boost#or to like. have to suffer all this confusion just because their relationship is insecure and stupid.#and also it's pretty dang naive to think you're gonna fucking marry your first love but i wont say that one out loud.#esp yk. given how weak the foundation is. lmfao#yea we got together bc he was obsessed w me from the start#(ofc) and then we’d get wasted and hang out and wake up together and i realized i liked him because i wanted to make a playlist for him#instead of studying for a midterm and then i initiated our first kiss really drunk and he later said it was a bad kiss#makes me sick to think she’d ever simp for him sorry that’s mean to say. like whoops jk totally cool for her#whatever. i’m sure beyond that they’re um… great…#i say the same shit to u guys over and over sorry imagine being up here tho 24/7.#can’t wait to go home so i can just write abt it except i can’t bc i’m so busy today lol#lol o ya i’m like straight but he freaks out when he sees me interact with u. lol
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