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strawb3rrystar · 2 days

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Imagine this right

Bayverse raph right? Big strong muscly loud guy? Mhm mhm?

Weird affection s/o, like for me, I bite as a way of showing affection (obviously) and I also make stuff for people like IVE FULL ON CARVED A DAGGER FOR SOMEONE BEFORE, so like how would he react to the love of his life just being weird affectionate

(Another example of my affection is: drawing on them, playfully punching, random bits and bobs like buttons, sleeping on them dont ask and squeezing the living daylights out of them)

Idk you don’t have to include all of it, let alone do this request

Love languages in red.

Pairing: Bayverse! Raphael x GN! Reader

Warnings: None!

Word count: 302

✰Masterlist

✰Bayverse! Raph who loves receiving the weird gifts you make him. Sure, they're a little odd at times, but you were thinking about him while making it. He keeps all of them and stores them in a box under his bed. Whenever he's feeling sad he just opens the box and he's reminded of how much you love him. If you ever find out about the box, Raph will get very embarrassed and deny its existence.

✰Bayverse! Raph who finds it amazing when you draw on his arm. He thinks you look very cute trying to concentrate on your drawing and not on the way his muscle flexes in your hand. He'll refuse to wash off your drawings, no matter what it is. He thinks that washing something so beautiful away is basically like him telling you he doesn't love you.

✰Bayverse! Raph who wants to cry when you sleep on him. The fact that you're so comfortable around him that you'll sleep on him says something. Especially early on in your relationship. If you're cuddling and fall asleep on him, he won't move a single muscle. Will get so mad if his brothers are too loud and wake you up. He's so scared of crushing you in his sleep, though. Holds you like stained glass that's about to shatter.

✰Bayverse! Raph who wants you to squeeze the living daylight out of him. Of course, you kinda can't because of his shell. But, he loves when you cling onto his arms. He is very strong, so even if you squeeze him with all your might you won't hurt him. He finds it funny when you want attention, so you start basically beating up his arm. Could literally pick you up and throw you around, yet he lets you playfully beat him up.

Star's notes -> I love writing for this oversized teddy bear.

(Thank you @footninja for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @raphaelsqueen @mamaemoemu @sleebykei @looking4userthatworks @toast-on-dandelioms

@alexandria-fandom @ghostdoodlen @roboticsuccubus83 @sweetadonisbutbetter @little-miss-chaoss

@sunr1s3-strab3rr1 @kipxer @spongejuice @blood-heart22 @myamythos

@ghoul-with-a-gun @facelessfionna | Join the taglist

#☆strawb3rrystar answers requests #tmnt bayverse #rapheal tmnt #tmnt #tmnt bayverse x reader #bayverse raph #rapheal x reader #raph x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #bayverse raphael

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museofthepyre · 3 days

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Im gonna ramble about Jedidiah and Sydney. Bear with me. This is a queer platonic sydidiah advocacy post.

The sydidiah dating arc feels so doomed to me and that impending doom casts a massive shadow over any nice sweet moments we have gotten/ might get… it’s so heart wrenching and devious from a writing standpoint /pos

Sydney and Jedidiah are like two trees who were planted too close together, not even of the same species. They’ve grown in sync, twisting together and fusing while the bark was still soft, weaving around each other until they’d become inseparable. Two separate trunks become one messily intertwined form, and they brace each other’s weight— if you cut one base, the other would topple. And yet they can’t survive together… they strain their branches upwards to compete for the same sunlight, every time one forms a sufficient canopy of leaves, the other ends up cast in the consequent shadow. One is always in the shade where it’ll starve, where it’ll wither, where it’ll deteriorate and take the other down with it when it falls.

And their attachment styles are so opposite from what we’ve seen… (My analysis here, some inference)

Sydney understands love as presence and affirmation and re-assuring words and touch, he needs a hand to hold like a ship needs an anchor, otherwise he’s just left to drift at the mercy of his own insecure mind. He talks about wanting something equal, I think a lot of that has to do with emotional vulnerability— he’s spent so long in a relationship where he’s an emotional mess in ways he can’t control, meanwhile Jedidiah is so… reserved. The contrast would make anyone feel burdensome, othered, isolated… even in a relationship that is loving deep down. I think so much of their poor communication/ secret keeping comes down to Sydney feeling like he’s being “too much”, or disproportionately emotional, which… is true, there is an imbalance, but it’s not Sydney’s fault. “I used to talk to Jedidiah about everything, but… I mean, he’s not just an endless well of support for me to dump all my issues into. Your friends shouldn’t have to play therapist for you, right? So I don’t really need to make him listen to all my bullshit anymore.”

Jedidiah understands love as the knowledge that someone is working behind the scenes to keep you steady, that they’re carving out a space for you to find respite in… wether you see them doing it or not. That’s what his parents did for him, that’s what he does for Sydney. He doesn’t want to get too close to the things he loves, because he fears he’ll only hurt them. He regards Sydney like an old childhood stuffed toy that he’s afraid to pick up and sleep with, it’s so precious and irreplaceable that he doesn’t want to risk damaging it… and so he holds it for only long enough to put it on a shelf for safekeeping… maybe brush the dust off once in a while.

They both need to seriously seriously SERIOUSLY a work on their communication if they want any hope of being healthy together— even if just as friends. Jedidiah needs to work on his emotional vulnerability, and Sydney needs to work on his self-assuredness… bro is the poster child of anxious attachment. And Jedidiah is the poster child of avoidant attachment. What a duo we have here! Idk they make me sad.

#ramblings #we should not let them date. it will end in disaster and probably world destruction #camp here and there #chnt #camp here & there #ch&t #sydney sargent #sydney o sargent #jedidiah martin #jedidiah a a martin #sydidiah

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year

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HA I'm 100% not making this camp nanowrimo goal

#I have written: 800 words so far wITH THE GOAL TO WRITE 10K?? HAHHAA #what's funny is I wrote 10k in February #about 20k in Jan #couple thousand in Dec #50k in nov #SO TELL ME WHY I'M DISAPPOINTED BY THE IDEA OF NOT HITTING THIS GOAL #listen... not making the goal doesn't make me feel sad because I'm not making the goal #makes me feel sad because idk! I love writing! I want to do that! I love living IN it #and for me living in it is soooo in the drafting process #and I feel like I've done a really... wonderful job at prioritizing writing & now I'm realizing I need to be #gentle with myself LOL #I'm moving this month after thinking I'd be moving in june #OBVIOUSLY I just finished my degree #I'll be moving into my own room (FIRST TIME EVER!! HAVING MY OWN ROOM!! A CONCEPT!!) when I get back home #lots of change haha #I think the mental strain of all of that has just made me tired #but it's not like I don't want to write ! I do! but I'm tired and that's what makes me sad #not being able to do the thing because I'm tired!#anyway I don't usually care this much about progress but I guess #since nano it's been nice to see the “progress” not because it's progress but because #to me it shows that I'm doing this thing I love very much #anyway proud of me for all I do!#I actually think this is why write every day works better for me than word count goals #(THE HORRORS THAT I ACTUALLY FOLLOW THIS ADVICE NOW HAHAHA)#but I liked that better cuz it was like... oh if I literally write ONE word I hit that goal LMAO #think I'll pivot my goal to that and whatever I write I write!#also writing frequently is kind of a must for me considering my short term memory is just awful #I find I get confused and flustered and overwhelmed when I don't write for a couple days #but yeah one word a day??? i can do that!

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alchemiclee · 8 months

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I hope someone writes a good fic about the high cloud quintet with all the messy pieces of lore we have because i'm very unsatisfied with what we got and I want MORE OF THEM. don't know why i'm so obsessed with this tragic group of friends but 😭 IM SO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM but also empty because they didn't satisfy me with what they gave us lmao I require more. but that was the end and i'll never get more....unless someone writes a great fic about them.....!

#hsr #lee text #one of the things that bothered me most was not seeing dan heng react to learning about blade/yingxing? hrm #everything in star rail seems super disconnected and rushed and i wish they could do the stories better #so i need someone to write a thing and fill in the gaps and add more and satisfy my need for a good story about these tragic losers #i want more baiheng because she seemed like the most adorable lovable thing 😭#i want more yingxing because i love him a lot for some reason i cant even figure out #i want jing yuan before he became a very sad and distant and lonely old man whose constant smile seems painfully fake.....#i want to see more of jing liu before she went crazy with mara #i want the gay and the lesbian hoyo cant give for legal reasons (xingyue/bailiu)#i want a story maybe starting with them meeting. becoming close and very good friends #maybe leading to their end dbdndnksksks it would hurt but im sure fandom writers can write it better than the game writers😅#im just rambling and reading makes me fall asleep and idk if anyone would ever write this but 😭#idk why my brain even clung onto them so much. theres other tragic friend stories this didnt happen with. why this one #i'd love a comic/manga about this group too but that even less likely than a fic. im sure other people like this group too #and maybe one is a fic writer. but an entire manga piece about them is unlikely 😅#its just easier for me to read when i can SEE it. thats just a preference tho #i feel like lore accurate fics arent as common tho? like taking all the lore you know and piecing it together into a whole story?#not that i read fics much so idk what im talking about but 99.9% if ones ive see are just ship fics only #what am i talking about i lost my train of thought lmao #anyway jingliu better come home. im at like 60 pity. where is she!!!!!!

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tanicus-caesareth · 1 month

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guarana drama, damage control

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hecksupremechips · 1 month

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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potatobugz · 2 years

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opening untitled google doc #7592 so I can attempt to write something again but ultimately never finish it

#rambles #but ill keep doing it bc. if i dont write i will never learn #i had another homestuck scenario i wanted to write but you see i only have an idea for one specific part #and i have 0 writing experience so i cant write it that well if i dont have a good udea 4 what i want to happen #anyways the premise is that feferi ascends to god tier (more like cod tier) after eridan kills her #& she revives nepeta and equius. the rest of the trolls r like hesitant to revive eridan right away #but feferi goes ahead and revives him anyway bc she has very conflicting feelings & shes like 'i just wanna talk 2 him 38('#ofc this backfires #eridan waking up & immediately assuming the worst; freaks out and runs away from her cuz he thinks shes gonna [krill] him again #(fish pun bc i saw the opportunity and couldn't resist)#then he runs into kanaya and freaks out EVEN MORE and then attempts to run down stairs & trips on his dumb scarf (affectionate)#and falls down a flight of stairs #ive had that specific scenario in my mind for like a few days now!!! and ive been dying to put it down somewhere!! augh #other cincepts i havent fleshed out include: eridan hiding from everyone on the meteor. eridan and gamzee alliance maybe.#some exploration on how kanaya feels abt this bc i feel like kanaya is always portrayed as angry at eridan but ppl forget WHY shes angry!!!#shes *greiving*. the matriorb was like the hope for their entire race & she was tasked 2 protect it and it got destroyed #its very sad to me. murderstuck as a whole is tragic 2 me because theyre all children and i dont think any of them shoulda died #idk i hope that makes sense #um also eridan putting themself in a cycle of 'not evil anymore i want to be loved now. evil again' cuz #characters who destroy their relationships w others over and over again mean everything to me. self destructive characters my beloved #and also everyone who was revived makes it to the alpha session so eridan and roxy friendship can thrive <3 (i am ill)#and also eridan transgender arc is mandatory sorry #wow i am sorry 4 talking so much down here ive been DYING 2 get this idea out but like #i cant ramble normally in posts i have to do it in the tags or i get self conscious otherwise agh #feel free to add onto this if youd like i think #homestuck #oh also maybe nonbinary roxy too maybe bc i really like nb roxy headcanon and also t4t pale eriroxy so wonderful

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astrxealis · 2 years

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hi good evening i disappeared for most of the day after rambling a lot bcs i suddenly felt super lonely and tbh it isn't. fully gone and it never will be but also i'm doing better now. also hi new zero theme even if i said i would do a ffxiv or gbf theme. also i almost forgot to say hence this is added into this post but yeah i disappeared and wrote a lil for my wol for bits in msq where she is dreadfully alone and you’d think letting out my feelings would help and it kinda did but what helped most was me fixing the docs with the layout and all haha i’m kind of a workaholic methinks. also i’ll finish gbf main story soon i promise. also i’m sleeping before 1 am today as well i promise

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#also hi i will never stop rambling Hashtag I Love To Talk Even If I Feel Like No One Listens Sometimes Which Is Okay (Mostly)#and hi i made like a bunch of zero icons recently so i was like yo i want to use this so i then also made a gif (wholly made by me <3 #except for the video ofc being taken from the official cutscenes of the game ofc. i think.) yeah <3 #i really want to get more into all kinds of editing so i'll do more notion and gdocs stuff soon alongside tumblr editing sb actually being #active soon and i'll start making more gifs and all but tbh idk either bcs i might just compile them all for myself because i prefer it #that way but yeah i'd love to do stuff for friends and mutuals and literally anyone so hi that is that #okay i will stop rambling now! i finished my chem hw w/o breaking down so that's great. also i lov my mom sm mwah #also for the first time in so long she made the mango graham thing again and i am sad she didnt call for me to help bcs i miss doing that #but idm bcs it is so fun to eat also it is almost the weekend and i want to do my homework in advance but also write and game and do sm #but i will uh fr stop rambling for now. also in advance hii good night

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born-to-lose · 1 year

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"Legs up for infidelity" in Trivium's This World Can't Tear Us Apart is such a Line

#it's just. a friend of mine was cheated on recently and i want to kill that guy with my bare hands #they were together for like 2 years almost? i'll never understand why some people decide to cheat in their partners #when there are so many other ways to work around that like talking about issues or even breaking up if there's really no hope #so every time this happens to someone i know (or me with my shitty first boyfriend) i'm so mad #and this line is the perfect mix of sarcasm and anger and bitterness #tho it kinda puts the image of your partner fucking somebody else in your head but it expresses that upset and angry feeling you get #it's one of my favourite metal love songs but also makes me sad because of memories #fuck why did writing this hurt so much. it's been ages and i'm 100% over that asshole but why would someone do this to me #similar thing goes for people who hook up with someone new straight after getting out of a relationship. something itches me about that #tho i think that's more of a personal and not universal thing. it just feels a bit disrespectful when it's too soon #like a few days or weeks afterwards idk i just wouldn't do that personally but maybe i care too much #no shame if you do tho as long as i'm not involved #mel talks

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pebblezone · 1 year

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About to serve absolutely abysmal cunt

#talkingcore #yay choir 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉#I’m going to slay and by slay I mean song 90 minutes worth of historical church music pebblezone is being converted #British people may suck but fuck if they can’t write some banger religious music #oh that reminds me of my musicology class I took last semester which was like Yeah is it ethical to support the messiah #because some dude unearthed documents that tied like the funding for a shit ton of Hansel’s stuff to the slave trade #anyway album updates uhhh oh I listened to American football and can say easily twas the hardest listen so far #it sounded like if I combined my 2018 sad tumblr thoughts with the guitar prowess of a middle school music class being allowed to fuckaround #I love a funky rhythm I think they can be so sexy but when it just sounds like you don’t know where to place emphasis idk #I’m feeling like a hater today I’m in a hater mood rn I wanted to have an open mind for the indie boys out there and could not do it #I could not finish it which is unfortunate given it’s definitely some people’s favorite out there and I don’t wanna yuck their yum #anyway about to be the sexiest person on stage (this is actually false there is a soprano soloist and she’s stunning she slaughters an a5 #it was so vibrant I gotta make sure my face doesn’t show emotions on stage during it I shall not weep #I think Walter would like creep by radiohead. okay I gotta go dammit

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1980ssunflower · 1 year

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aouhhh 🥺💖💙🥰

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980 #ngl ive been feeling like a bit sad like... i just miss them sm hfdjks #i just wish so SO soso so badly that i could go home to them both back in the 80s #to be w the loves of my life but ALSO to have someone i can talk music to and we can just talk abt music for hours <33 #i can just talk abt it to them and theyll completely understand and give their own thoughts abt whatever song/band/album im talking abt #and id love to hear them go on long insane rants abt their own favorite albums and for them to show me a new album they listened to #something theyd know i like cause we love the same music genres #fuck i just miss them so much... they understand me more than anyone and get along w me more than ANYONE #i couldnt even try to imagine a person who better suites me than them even if i tried to create the perfect person for me #they just ARE already the epitome of perfection for me like we were made to know and love eachother to get along so well to be inseparable #i love them... god i love them both so much just thinking about them always makes me cry #i almost never cry its only ever because of them that i cry...#i miss them so so fucking much i keep thinking about them throughout the day #just imagining me being w them to be able to kiss and hold them and show them just how much i love them both #actually today i was picturing them here w me which is something i never do #i just love and miss them... i feel lonely and just ah... idk i wish i could go off on an adventure w them rn #i want to escape the life im living rn and just run off on the road w them chasing after our dream of being rockstars #tbh id also just love to experience the train together and get to see all that crazy stuff yknow? would make good song writing material lol #idk i feel like i cant truly get into how much i truly love and miss them w/o sounding super depressed and pathetic tbh #so i keep holding myself back from really expressing how i feel abt them

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kellystar321 · 2 years

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#periodical life updates #finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk #because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3 #high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw #general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref #self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things #my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3 #project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0 #my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event!#and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh #but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;;#but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3 #but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT?#FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!!#im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33 #im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33 #i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3 #i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33

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yuansie · 2 months

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the greatest gamble of all

pairing. aventurine x gn! nameless! reader

synopsis. aventurine knows that he is unworthy of love, unworthy of you. because he, aventurine, is a tainted person and kakavasha is but a person with no future for himself. in both of his names, he is unworthy of you.

genres/aus. actually idek what type of au this would fall under saurrr idk what to say ummm friends to something more (?!), romance, pining, angst with a happy ending, smidge of fluff at the end

warnings. slight (or maybe not so slight at all?) spoilers about aventurine's background, mentions of death and murder, very sad and insecure aventurine, crying, slight displays of affection (a neck kiss?!), ooc aventurine ?! (bc im still doing the penacony quest HAHSHAJ)

wc. 1.6k

a/n. me when i only write about aventurine because aventurine is love, aventurine is life. also, i just have some serious brainrot for that man he deserves everything and more i love him sm !!!! also. aventurine this wednesday im SOOOO excited i need him NOW. will be skipping my first class so i can do his trial LMFAO and this NAWT edited !! (when will i ever edit something?? idk. whenever i am not a busy uni kid) the aventurine art was made by @/20231102thu on x (twitter) !!

AVENTURINE IS FULLY AWARE THAT HE ISN'T SOMEONE DESERVING OF, well, anything. he’s just someone that aimlessly wanders this world, not having a set destination. he doesn’t have anything worth living for. he doesn’t have a home to return to because home means returning to a place filled with warmth and love.

he does not remember the last time he felt his heart warm up, he’s not even sure if he’s even felt warmth. it is but a distant memory filled with sadness, such sorrow that makes his heart weep without knowing it. though, nowadays, he doesn’t feel like that. there’s just an emptiness in him, but he doesn’t mind it anymore. after the events at penacony, he’s just been… lost.

he hears a door open and slide shut, followed by the sound of footsteps. then, he senses someone standing right next to him as he gazes out the windows of the astral express. you spent a long time convincing the conductor and himeko that aventurine should be a guest, and you finally wore them out with your pleading after a good amount of hours.

“penny for your thoughts?”

aventurine glances at you. your wounds from the battle are still healing, he notes, given by the bandages that wrap around your forearm and head. sunday will have to meet his fury on another day. “just thinking that this is a nice place.”

you chuckle, “it is, isn’t it?”

all he does is hum in response, still staring out in the vast expanse of space. he likes how the stars look and as his eyes linger on penacony, he wonders if his home looked similar to that. he wouldn't know because he never saw how it looked when he left and never will. his thoughts don’t linger on that much when he instead focuses on the way your fingers brush against his hand. he flinches and stares wide-eyed at how you easily grab onto his hand, a dirty piece of flesh undeserving of the warmth that radiates from your skin and seeps into his own.

“aventurine—”

“kakavasha.”

“hm?” you tilt your head to the side, blinking at him in confusion.

he wants to look away from you, from your eyes. but he wills himself to keep looking and somehow, he ends up gripping onto your hand tightly. you don't complain and instead squeeze back, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“my name is… kakavasha.” aventurine feels his stomach twist and turn at your silence so he continues to speak, “i just thought… that you should know it before it’s completely gone.”

“and why do you say that?”

“it’s a name meant to be forgotten in the sand.”

your response is so quick that it almost gives him whiplash. “no it isn't.”

“excuse me?” he blurts out, surprised that you even said such a thing about him.

“it isn't a name meant to be forgotten in the sand,” you say, a certain calmness in your voice that has aventurine waiting with bated breath at what else you have to say. “it's too pretty to be forgotten and, well, it's your name.”

and then he feels his face heat up; his ears, neck and cheeks feel like they’re burning up.

“kakavasha,” you hum, smiling, “kava, for short. it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?”

it does have a nice ring to it, but only because you're the one saying it. aventurine merely nods, not trusting his voice at the moment. he looks away and stares outside the window, not wanting to look at you anymore because he fears this warm feeling will take over his entire being.

a nice silence blankets over the two of you, one that you break after a while.

“what’s the story behind your name right now? aventurine… why are you called that now?”

“because kakavasha had no future,” he replies, “kakavasha didn’t have a future, he didn’t deserve to live either. who i am now, aventurine, does.”

“kakavasha deserves to live too.” aventurine turns his body to look at you, blinking in surprise. “i don’t know how you got that thought in your head, but kakavasha deserves to live just as much as the person you are now.”

“but aventurine is tainted. this name has too much blood on it, too many sins on it. the person i am now doesn’t deserve to live either. kakavasha should be a name buried in the sands of time while aventurine should be burnt to a crisp for the things i’ve done.”

yes, he is tainted. his body, his everything is tainted. it is marred by an ugly color, a stain of who he was and is, never to be cleaned. aventurine lets go of your hands, worried that you might also get stained by his sins. he should drive you away now before the aching in his small heart decides to cling to you and the warmth you give him. he will tell you his story, tell you about the mark on his neck, tell you how he killed the man that bought him, tell you about how he is a tainted person. he is a tainted person unworthy of you, unworthy of that love you hold.

he may have never experienced love. after all, all of his past relationships were purely physical. no one cared about going deeper beyond his facade, they all just wanted a fun night. so while he has never experienced it, he is no fool. he can recognize that the emotion in your pretty eyes when you look at him is love. you love aventurine, the him who has betrayed and used you and your companions in one way or another on penacony. he doesn’t understand why and maybe he never will because the mere fact that you feel something towards him is so bizarre.

so he should ruin whatever it is that you love about him and tell you the truth, taint your rose-colored view on him. aventurine needs to do it now before his heart tells him not to. he knows his heart is already lovesick, so needy of that bit of love it has received from you. his heart wants to hold on tightly to you and drown in you, drown in those feelings of yours. his tiny heart wants to love you too, it wants to love you just as much as you love him. he wants your everything to consume his entire being.

but after he tells you the truth, you will leave and you will be the first and last person he’s loved. you will be the first and last person to somehow climb over the tall walls he’s built around himself and crack open the facade he’s made.

but what if… what if you stay after everything? what will happen then?

it is that small hope that he ends up clinging to.

if he is blessed gaiathra, if he is lucky, then what if… what if this is his greatest gamble of all? a gamble of love: will he lose you or will you stay?

aventurine has made up his mind despite the rational part in him telling him to not even do it, yet he does. the words flow out of his mouth easily, though his heart weighs heavy in his chest. he expects to you leave, he really does because who would want someone as ugly as him? but the tears that leaves your eyes and roll down your cheeks catches him completely off guard.

“why are you crying?” he asks, his hands reaching out to hold your arms.

your lips quiver and a hand grabs onto one of his while the other reaches out, fingers stopping before they touch his neck. aventurine leans in without thinking and a shiver goes up his spine when your fingertips gently graze the marks on his neck. you rub over the marks, “you didn’t deserve any of that, kakavasha.”

“if i could, i would take this from you and any pain you’ve felt and will feel. i would take away all of the unpleasant memories that plague your mind. for you, i would do anything.”

his knees buckle at your words and you both tumble down to the ground; he ends up being on top of you. your eyes widen when aventurine’s own tears begin to rain down, some falling onto your cheek.

“why would you say something so cruel to me?” he mutters. “don’t give me false hope. you should leave now before you do it in the future.”

“why should i leave the man that i love?” you purse your lips, your eyebrows furrowing.

aventurine shoves his head into the crook of your neck. “i am undeserving of you. i’m lesser than everyone in all of these galaxies.”

“you are not lesser than everyone,” you grumble, raking your hand through his blond hair. “everyone is the same because at the end of the day, we all want to love and to be loved.”

“i’m afraid i won’t be able to leave you now.” he hears you laugh softly, saying how his eyelashes are tickling you. he decides to get impossibly closer to you and bat his eyelashes more, smiling at the sound of your laughter growing in volume. “you’re stuck with me, so don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

aventurine’s breath gets stuck in his throat. he feels your lips brush against his neck. “i think the one who should be saying that is me… say, promise me you won’t leave?”

“shouldn’t i be saying that?”

“kava, promise me.”

“i promise. will you promise the same thing too?”

“yes, i promise that i won’t leave you.”

kakavasha, a name forgotten in the sand, was dug up and remembered, held in the hands of someone that treats like the most precious thing. kakavasha, who had forgotten how it felt to love and be loved, remembered the feeling because of a single person.

and kakavasha, blessed by gaiathra, won his greatest gamble of all time. he won you and your love, something he will now protect and hold onto tightly.

#drea writes #yuansie #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail fluff #hsr aventurine #hsr angst #honkai star rail angst #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x you #aventurine x reader #aventurine fluff #aventurine imagines #aventurine angst

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bkgml · 1 year

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i absolutely LOVE your works!! could you write about y/n and bakugo having a argument and y/n sleeping on the couch? i dont mind if its gonna be a sad or happy ending ;D

(feel free to ignore this ask!)

WOOOO I GET SUCH A BOOST WHEN PPL COMPLIMENT MY WORK is that shallow idk but like even if it is you can’t blame me 😚

“leave me alone katsuki.” you frown, tears in your lash line as you walk into the kitchen.

“stop acting like a child yn.” he calls after you.

you stop before inhaling sharply to regain your composure. you’re not in the mood to argue, you had a really long day today and you just wanted to cuddle katsuki and go to bed.

you continue walking to the fridge so you can make dinner.

“now you’re fuckin ignoring me? it was one date.” he says coldly.

that pushes you over the edge. whipping your head to glare at him.

“one date?! katsuki you’ve missed 15 dates. you’re constantly prioritizing me over your job and i get left behind to pick up the pieces. i’m sick of it!!” you scream.

he walks toward you, caging you into the counter and you frown because you know what he’s looking for.

“you can’t kiss me and expect this to all go away katsuki. it’s happened too many times!” you frown, pushing him away.

he lets you, taking the hint.

“you know i need to go into work when they call me, you’re being selfish!” he yells and slams his hand on the countertop.

you jump away from him and your eyes fill with tears.

“don’t yell at me.” you frown.

“i’m gonna go to bed. i don’t want dinner.” you mumble, rushing past him to go to the family room.

“you’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“don’t tell me what to do!!” you snap.

he purses his lips and turns to leave.

“i’m sleeping on this couch before you decide to do the proper thing and apologize like an adult.” you call after him.

his fists clench and he stoms into the bedroom.

you force yourself to sleep. you’ve forgiven him way too many times.

katsuki lies awake in his room. counting how many minutes have passed without you coming to bed. he didn’t know you were this mad, he wants to spend time with you so badly. unfortunately hes trying to save up for the perfect ring and has taken on too many shifts. hes hoping he hasn’t fucked up bad enough for you to leave him.

at that thought, he makes his way to the living room. peeling back the warm blankets in exchange for the cold air of a girlfriend-less night.

he finds you in a light sleep on the couch.

“baby.” he says, brushing your hair out of your face.

“baby come to bed please? ‘m sorry.” he says, lowly.

your eyes flutter open and you frown at him.

“i said im not coming to bed, suki.” you pout.

he grunts in frustration.

“fine.” he says, standing.

you think he’s on his way back to bed so you shut your eyes once again.

only to feel your body get crushed by his weight.

“katsuki.” you groan, trying to shove him off.

“not moving.” he says while wrapping his strong arms around your waist.

“i’m not done being mad at you.” you whisper into the silence.

he removes his arms in favour of pulling up your shift to press soft kisses to the spot on your tummy that sends butterflies to flutter around your stomach.

“i know.” he replies in between kisses.

“but i’m done with you being mad at me.” he says while putting your shirt down over his head.

you sigh, attempting to pull the shirt back up so you can see his face.

he doesn’t let you though, preferring to nose at the soft part of your tummy.

“i know you’re hiding a blush under there.” you say.

“no you don’t.” he replies, resuming his kisses.

“alright.” you say softly.

he pops his head out now, thumbs starting to rub circles into your hips.

“hm?” he questions.

you sigh before reaching to cup his cheek.

“i forgive you,” you mumble and he smiles softly, leaning into your palm.

“i guess.” you grin and he bites your hand.

“ow! don’t push your luck.” you frown.

“sorry,” he mumbles.

“i guess.” he says and your grin drops.

he cackles loudly before standing and throwing you over his shoulder.

you laugh with him and bite his waist.

“hey.” he grunts and throws you on the bed.

you giggle and open your arms.

he shuffles up until his entire body weight is on you and his face is in your neck.

“don’t sleep on the couch ever again.” he mumbles, lips grazing your neck giving you shivers.

“don’t do dumb shit ever again.” you mumble back and he frowns.

“said i was sorry.”

“i know.” you smile, brushing his hair off his forehead and pressing a lingering kiss to his skin.

he hums in content as his eyes flutter shut before he falls asleep.

“miss another date and i’ll fucking kill you.” you whisper.

his eyes snap open.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou x yn #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader

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straykidsholicleigh · 20 days

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can you please write a minho drabble about him showing how much he likes the reader, but at the same time strugling with saying the words, like he just looks like the type that will give you the world, but never really say it he's doing it tho.

im not good at this

PAIRING: idol!minho x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff (idk if this comes under angst too-)

WARNINGS: established relationship, kissing & swearing :)

A/N: im so sorry this is late- i hope u like it unnie ✨

CREDITS: divider by @cafekitsune ♡.

“Minnie, come hug me please!” you pleaded, making grabby hands towards him as he was situated at the edge of the bed, his video game console in hand. “Not now baby, I'm busy.” He said, his thumbs pressing the buttons as his character on the screen was shooting an enemy.

It was a typical saturday night, almost 12 am as you were in bed, reading a book while your boyfriend decided to catch up on his gaming with his friends. You could hear Felix and Jisung screaming from the headset he wore, Minho yelling back at them that the enemy was within a 5 feet radius.

You didn't mind it when he played with his friends because you got to see him all pouty when he loses but today you were really craving attention. You just wanted to feel his arms around you, whispering sweet nothing's into your ears and slowly drift of to sleep, but you didn't think that was happening anytime soon because he looked so invested in his game. You pouted harder, tapping his shoulder lightly.

He turned around, removing half of his headset. "What?" He asked, his tone a little annoyed and soft at the same time. You winced slightly before replying. "I was wondering if we could.. cuddle for a bit." You said it so softly, eyes filled with longing. His gaze softened as he politely excused himself from the game, logging off and removing his headset before hesitantly wrapping you in his arms.

You sighed contently, immediately relaxing into his touch as you threw your leg over his waist, bringing him impossibly closer. He smiled into your hair, his thumb rubbing soft circles on your back, trying his best to show you how much he loves and cares for you.

"I'm not good at this." He said finally, his voice soft and relaxing, a hint of sadness in it. You frowned slightly, looking up at him. "What do you mean?" He signed, running his hands through your hair. "This.. this whole... love thing. Like, i want to tell you that I love you, I really do but I don't know how to-" "Your showing it." You cut him off. He raises an eyebrow, his thumb faltering against your back. "What?" He asked, his eyes telling you needs clarification.

You smiled, your fingers tracing his jaw lightly. "You show it, in different ways. Like when you leave cute notes on the fridge before leaving for work, when you cook for me whenever I'm sick or tired, when you run me baths when I have no energy to do anything. You show it in so many ways." You smiled wider, your eyes flickering to his features.

He smiled, slightly startled when he feels a tear rolling down his cheek. You laugh, wiping it away as he playfully hits your waist. "Shut the fuck up, you brat!" He growled playfully as you laughed harder, wrapping your arms around his neck as he hovered above you. He smashed his lips onto yours, swallowing away your laughter as you kissed him back, parting your lips slightly as his tongue traced your mouth.

When you pulled away, he smirked down at you, biting his lower lip slightly as you ran your fingers through his hair. "Minho," You placed your hand on his cheek. "I love you." He was taken aback slightly at the sudden gesture but quickly recovered and took a deep breath, his smirk fading into a loving smile. "I.." He paused, looking for any sign of hesitation in his voice but when he found none, he smiled wider.

"I... I love you."

DO NOT COPY MY WORK ON ANY PLATFORM/APP.

#stray kids #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x female reader #stray kids fluff #skz #skz minho #lee know #lee know fluff #lee know imagines #skz lee know #skz lee minho #lee know x y/n #lee know x female reader #lee know x you #pls im so sorry this took forever motivation was lacking and i was stressed but thats not an excuse-

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