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freedomforthewin · 7 months

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Desperate Measures (Scamander Brothers X Muggle Reader)

Content Warnings: Themes of suicidal temptation, narcissistic abuse, C-PTSD, attempted abduction, PTSD, and betrayal. There’s also emotional distress, and a knife is present. Ableism and biphobia are mentioned.

Note 1: Some numbers and resources are noted at the bottom of this story post.

Note 2: If you like this story, please like, reblog, or comment on this story. Doing that really helps writers out. Plus, this was a really difficult story to write, and I worked extra hard on it, haha.

You slowly walked over to the knife holder on the kitchen counter, as if you were in a trance, and grabbed a knife. You stared at the knife in your hand.

Everything was too much. Your entire being was consumed with so much stress and pain. And it had been that way for too long. You couldn’t do this anymore.

There was no other way out.

But—you just remembered—your friends—Newt and Theseus—they would not be okay with this. Doing this would devastate them. They had always genuinely cared about you.

And you had worked too hard to die now. It was taking a while for you to get better and work towards building the life you wanted, but you were farther along than you were before.

But, you needed a way out. You needed this pain and stress to stop. You didn’t want to be stuck with the trauma anymore. And, you wanted to finally be safe. What could you do???

You felt trapped.

Tears started to fill your eyes. Your grip on the knife tightened and shook; then it relaxed. You moved the knife to the side. You stared at it for a few seconds. Then, you put your elbows on the counter, lowered your head into your hands, curled into yourself, and started to cry.

Soon after, footsteps came towards the kitchen, but your overwhelm prevented you from hearing them. The footsteps paused upon the scene, and there was a brief silence.

“(Y/N)?” you heard a voice call softly from behind you. Newt’s voice.

Your breath hitched, but you didn’t raise your head.

No. He had caught you.

You didn’t know what to do, what to say. You didn’t have the energy for this, so you just stayed as you were.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?”

You still didn’t answer. Newt walked till he was standing to your right. He placed his hand on your shoulder, gazing at you with concern.

Then, he noticed the knife to the right side. When he realized what you were trying to do, he let out a small gasp. His green eyes turned to the knife holder in front of you.

He kept his hand on your shoulder and used his other hand to move the knife and then the knife holder farther to the right, away from you. He stared at them. Then, he looked back at you, scared.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

You tried to hold back sobs.

He was worried. He knew you had been going through a hard time, but he had never seen you like this. He thought about the knife he had just pushed away from you.

“Please show me your wrists.”

You didn’t move. You didn’t want him to see you cry, even if he was one of your closest friends. You didn’t feel comfortable crying in front of anyone. It was too late, in a way, though. You couldn’t hide the fact that you were crying, but that didn’t mean you had to show your face.

“I need to make sure you’re not injured,” Newt clarified.

You still didn’t speak. You didn’t trust your voice to sound normal.

“Okay,” he said cautiously, “I’m just going to pull your sleeves down and check.” You kept your head in your hands. Newt carefully pulled your sleeves down and tried to look for injuries, walking around you to continue checking your arms from other angles without pulling your arms away from your head. He didn’t find anything concerning.

“Alright. Your arms seem fine. Did you cut yourself somewhere else?”

You shook your head, no.

“Did you—stab yourself?”

You shook your head again. Then, you gave up on not speaking.

“Al—almost,” you said in a thick voice.

He was quiet for a few moments.

“Why—why would you do that?”

You didn’t answer at first. He waited for you.

“It’s all too much,” you finally said hoarsely.

“Alright. Can you—can you tell me more?” he asked, trying to stay calm.

Your head turned towards him, a desperate look in your eyes. He saw the tear streaks and pained expression on your face. Newt’s heart broke.

“I believe you,” he said. “I know you’ve been going through a hard time. I do. Just, just talk to me. Take your time, it’s alright. Just tell me whatever you can. In case there are things going on that I’m not aware of. I’ll—I’ll do my best to help you.”

Just then, Theseus, who had come over earlier that day to spend time with you and Newt, walked into the room while adjusting his gray suit. He stopped when he noticed the sight in front of him. “What—what’s going on?” Theseus asked, concerned. You and Newt looked at each other, unsure of what to say. You snapped your eyes shut and lowered your head while pursing your lips together. Newt worriedly placed his hand on your shoulder. He then glanced downwards before turning his head towards his brother.

“She—she almost killed herself,” Newt answered.

Theseus just stood there as the realization of what Newt said hit him.

“What?” Theseus asked, shocked.

Newt let out a breath before speaking.

“She tried to—she was going to—she almost—she almost stabbed herself.”

Theseus stood still for a few moments before making his way over to you both. His ocean blue eyes gazed at the knife that was away from you and Newt. Then, he turned back towards you and caressed your arm.

“Please talk to us,” Theseus said quietly.

“We’re here for you,” Newt added tenderly.

You were overwhelmed, making it hard for you to speak, but they waited patiently for you.

“These memories,” you started, your voice hoarse. “These thoughts. These feelings. They don’t go away for good. And they can get so…intense.”

“What are you remembering?” Theseus asked gently but worriedly.

“The abuse.”

Your friends looked at you, sadly.

“It was really bad,” you whispered.

“I believe you,” Newt reassured you.

“So do I,” Theseus agreed.

Your mouth curled into a hint of a smile, a pained but grateful look in your eyes. You tilted your head towards them in a slight nod, which they returned.

You were silent for a few moments. Then you continued, “They were ableist, too. And biphobic. Even though I was their daughter and a part of those minority groups. Didn’t matter. I was their daughter, and they didn’t care…they didn’t care.”

Both of the Scamander brothers’ faces fell at your words.

“They treated me so…” you trailed off and sighed hopelessly.

Your friends gazed downwards morosely. The three of you went silent.

Then, you asked, “Do you remember what they and the others did to me after I escaped?”

“Yes. I remember,” Theseus said solemnly as Newt nodded. You looked at Theseus, a tortured expression on your face.

“They terrorized me,” you nearly whispered. “But they did it subtly and manipulatively, under the guise of caring. If anyone read or listened to the messages, or listened to those monsters try to justify their actions, without being very familiar with how manipulation works and the different ways it can be done, they’d fall for the manipulation and not believe me.”

“I’m sorry,” Theseus said sadly. He was quiet for a few moments. “But it’s good that you don’t have contact with them now. You’re safe now.”

“For how long?” you asked hopelessly. “They haven’t stayed away for good.

“They kept trying to contact me. And they and the others who decided to get involved kept trying to get me to reveal my location, as well as trick me into letting them abduct me. And…” you trailed off as the tears fell down your face.

Theseus went up to you and engulfed you in his arms. Your arms wrapped around him tightly. He held you and rocked you side to side as you cried in his arms.

You, like Newt, weren’t typically a hugger. But, Theseus’s hugs were different: They actually felt comfortable to you. Newt watched the two of you sadly. Then, he took his wand, turned towards the knife and knife holder, and vanished them. He stared at the space the weapons had been in, breathing heavily.

He had almost lost you.

“You’re safe now,” Theseus said to you soothingly. “You’re safe now.”

Newt turned back towards his friend and older brother. Newt placed his hand on your shaking shoulder. After a few seconds, he began to rub your shoulder.

“They can’t do this to you anymore,” Newt murmured. “They’re not here. You’re away from them, and you don’t have contact with them. You’re safe now.”

They went quiet and comforted you as you cried.

“Why don’t we take her to the couch,” Newt quietly suggested after a little bit, motioning towards the yellow couch in the living room with his head.

Theseus nodded.

The three of you made your way over to the couch, Theseus keeping his arm around you the entire way there. You sat in the middle of the couch, Newt sat to your right, and Theseus sat to your left. They rubbed your arms, trying to console you. Neither of you said a word. After a bit, you finally spoke.

“Sometimes I have to remind myself where I am. That I’m not there anymore. That I’m away.”

“Yes, that’s right. You’re not there anymore,” Newt said. “They don’t know where you are. They and the others who got involved can’t try to take you back again.”

“They already tried multiple times,” you said despondently.

“I know. I know, and I’m so sorry.” Newt was silent for a few moments.

“They did that and they did so much to try to get me to reveal where I am.”

“We’re not going to let them take you or do anything to you,” Theseus stated. “And you’ll do a good job of protecting yourself, too. You already have.”

“Yeah,” Newt reassured you. “You made very smart decisions to keep yourself hidden, and you have been continuing to make smart decisions.”

“Exactly,” Theseus agreed.

You took a deep breath and nodded.

They were quiet for some time.

“I knew that me escaping and cutting them off would lead to me getting betrayed and losing people, but it’s still hard,” you muttered. “Why do I mean so little to all of them?”

Theseus placed his hand on your arm.

“Because they’re not meant to be in your life,” he replied.

“He’s right,” Newt agreed. “But—we believe you. We care.”

“Yes,” Theseus affirmed. “We do. We know you’ve suffered. We know you deserved better.”

“And we know they’re very manipulative,” Newt said. “We read and listened to the messages you showed us they sent you. Something is seriously wrong with them.”

You shook your head up and down, so thankful your friends saw your abusers for what your abusers were.

“They’re narcissistic abusers,” you said. “They won’t change no matter what they say. If they wanted to change, they would have tried a long time ago. My suffering because of them would have been enough to get them to change. But it wasn’t. They only tried to ‘change’ after I left, when they got affected. When they lost control of me, and when me escaping put their reputation at risk. None of their words and actions are genuine. They don’t care about me.”

“I’m sorry,” Newt whispered.

“We do though,” Theseus replied. “Care, I mean. We care.”

“We’re your friends,” Newt said gingerly. “We love you.”

“You’re not alone.”

You smiled at them.

“And you have a…therapist, as you muggles call them,” Theseus added. “She can help you. Is it working out with her?”

“Yes. I like her. There’s just…so much.”

Theseus nodded sympathetically.

“(Y/N),” Newt suddenly said. You looked at him.

“You were going to kill yourself, but you stopped. What got you to stop?”

You were quiet at first.

“I’ve worked too hard to give up now,” you finally said.

Newt and Theseus gave you small smiles and nodded. You gave them a small smile back.

“But, I also remembered both of you,” you replied awkwardly, motioning to Theseus and him. “This would hurt you, both. I couldn’t do that to you. Both of you genuinely care about me. You always have.”

Your friends looked at you morosely. Then, they both leaned in and laid their heads against yours. You closed your eyes. The three of you sat like that for some time in silence.

“Why don’t we take you to get some help,” Theseus suggested quietly, his head still against yours. Then, he sat up and looked at you; Newt did the same.

You looked away, a slightly anxious expression on your face.

You had never checked yourself in for a mental health emergency before. The idea of it made you feel nervous, but, you supposed, not as nervous as you thought you’d be if you had to do this without your friends’ support.

And, this really was an emergency though, wasn’t it? You had almost killed yourself.

You felt someone take your hand. You looked to see who it was.

Newt.

“You’re worth it,” he said. At those words, your eyes held their gaze towards him. “You’re worth it.”

You smiled gratefully at him. Then, you took a few deep breaths before you looked at Theseus and nodded.

“Okay,” you said, accepting the offer of help.

*****************End of Story*****************

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llycaons · 10 months

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'poor heroic tragic saint jiang cheng' is actually my favorite jc misinterpretation it is just so fucking funny. I'll watch the man advocate to abandon a group of political prisoners to state-sanctoined genocide, constantly yell about his issues, threaten his nephew and everyone else around him, and abuse his power to intentionally trigger his traumatized brother bc he's mad at him and I go online and see posts about how he's so strong and noble and a great parent/leader despite suffering so much. LIKE

#did he at one point have good intentions and noble goals? yes #did he suffer? oh yeah #did he sacrifice? and was it a secret? you betcha #did this make him into a stoic hero who never talks about his own suffering but just supports his people/protects his nephew? no fucking wa #that man is so self-centered and fixated on his own grievances that he spent over a decade trying to permakill his brother #AFTER HIS BROTHER ALREADY COMMITTED SUICIDE #and he taught his sister's son to hate their brother even KNOWING how much jyl loved wwx and how much she considered them all family #bc he's more interested in his own gratification and his own anger and grieve rather than jyl's wishes or her own legacy #or even jl's happiness. fuck #but all we see is him being a dick to jl and constantly reminding him that his parents are dead and it was wwx's fault #he IS protective of him and I love the zidian scene but that's buried under the bs he puts him through #AND THIS IS A GOOD THING!! HE'S A GOOD CHARACTER!!#and it DOES make him a good foil to lwj!! which is an important part of the text!!#ppl will take the exact opposite of what a story is trying to say smh #cql txp

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cuntstable · 2 months

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THE TOUDEN SISTERS. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH

#falins retelling of their reunion…… what the fuck!#’id probably never see him again’ like OK….. THATS. that adds context to why she just dropped everything to go with him like id do the same #if one of my brothers showed up starving and looking quite honestly suicidal. o7 #AND ALSO another example of falin always dropping everything for the people she loves….. like you get why everyone but ESPECIALLY laios #would then do yhat in turn #dungeon meshi

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koskela-knights · 4 months

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EEAAO Connections

More meta! We're going on another long feel trip! Having watched AW2 videos, playthroughs, read multiple wiki pages & having watched Everything Everywhere All At Once (+ insightful meta posts and video essays) I see some overlapping themes and messages 👀 General/vague spoilers for the movie & spoilers for AW2 below

CW: mentions of suicide in red

+ additional Koskela feels & thoughts casually sprinkled in <3

I'm going off the concept that there are countless possible loops/alternate timelines/multiple universes in AW2. EEAAO obviously deals with the latter: multiple universes where every choice you make branches off into another reality/universe.

Nihilism, breaking the cycle/spiral

One of the main messages the movie conveys is that yes, the universe may not care about us, our actions may and can be insignificant in the big scheme of things. But that doesn't mean we cannot choose love, for ourselves and others. As this post brilliantly pointed out: in the universes where the characters choose nihilism through negative actions and not care about others, they sorta ruin/worsen their own lives. But once the characters choose love and empathy for themselves and others, their lives improve for the better.

You can see similar thoughts reflected in AW2. If we go with the idea that the Shadows in the Dark Place (DP) are past Alan (they even are his 3d model) and perhaps even versions where he kills himself, haven't led Alan out of the DP or the Darkness at all. They're literally dead ends. But only once he begins accepting external help (Saga, Rose and of course Alice) is he able to advance out of the spiral. It's also his love for Alice that keeps him going after all those years.

(Which is a similar point made in this post where the post argues that it's not destruction (parallel/similar to pessimistic nihilism) that can help you break free from the spiral but ascension (//love, support from others))

Choices & love

Now, venturing more into Koskela territory (this is a Koskela love blog after all)

What I loved in the EEAAO is that some characters are aware of these multiple universes and even if not, they long for a universe that exists somewhere else. In this post it's outlined that Waymond, who's a rich successful businessman in one universe, still longs for a domestic "poorer" life with Evelyn, doing simple taxes and having a laundromat business. That's the life the main story's universe takes place in, basically. Just ughh, the idea that gets me that people will choose to be together in every possible universe, or that they'd choose one humble universe over any other version where they might be more "successful" but separate from one another.

And I feel this would apply to the Koskelas too. Those brothers are soulmates. @zephyrone01 said that if Saga could still profile Jaakko after his death, Jaakko would've probably said that he loved Ilmo and didn't regret any of it and <33

The Koskelas would love each other and die for each other but also desperately try to save each other in every loop, every iteration and alternate reality/universe. I've been thinking about what-ifs: what if one of them is aware of the loops, what if they're both aware or subconsciously know what will happen/can happen. They would try to prevent each other from dying. They would and they keep on fighting for each other but also for their town and the people that they clearly love. Ilmo and Jaakko wouldn't put all that money and energy into their various businesses if they didn't believe Watery and its people still have a chance.

@zephyrone01 and I've been discussing many such what-if scenarios. Maybe it would've been easier for them if they just packed their business, aware of how dangerous BF & Watery are, but that's not their way. Even if they know the dangers and the tragic future ahead, they are willing to fight for who they love, what they love and they'll desperately clutch onto the hope that maybe, just maybe the next loop will be different and more positive.

And maybe there's a reality where they left or gave up but other versions of them would be (subconsciously) reminded of these darker futures and realize that staying and fighting has a much better outcome, even if the stakes remain high and one or both might still die as a result. But they would still choose any of those universes where they stay and fight because they have each other and it would've been worth it anyway. Even if the pain of losing the other will be painful and unbearable, it means they loved deeply and cared dearly.

I have so many feelings about the Koskelas man 😭😭😭 I hope this post was somewhat comprehensible and cohesive.

So yeah, TLDR: it's corny but love, empathy and compassion are the answer in every universe. Love for yourself and the people around you. It can help you get into the light. Maybe choosing this life is enough even if you don't leave the biggest impact because there are people you care about and who care about you too. And that's all that matters, really.

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franzias-cave · 1 year

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to everyone trying to turn nona, pyrrha, cam, and pal into a heteronormative nuclear family: please remember that pyrrha "chickenhawk corpse-fucker domestic life has a lowering effect on the ego" dve would never. and we should respect her for that.

#tamsyn muir did NOT have pyrrha dve say she loved cam and pal unwholesomely right before they completed their suicide pact for ppl to #turn around and try to fit them neatly into mother-father-sister-brother configurations

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walmart-miku · 7 months

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Thou Shalt Not Die Ability Analysis

Ok people, the brain rot won't leave so I'm making it everyone's problem now.

I have 2 theories about how Yosano's ability, Thou Shalt Not Die works and has changed.

So we know from Yosano's backstory that she didn't always have to half-kill people or have them fatally injured. We see her heal perfectly "fine" people who aren't on the verge of death but are injured badly enough to warrant taking them out of the fight. This means that the way her ability originally functioned was ideal and really quite amazing because she could heal anything without requirements attached to her ability.

So when did the change of Yosano can heal anything, big or small, to, Yosano can only heal fatal injuries?

I think it happened here, in this scene where Mori shoot Tachihara's brother to get Yosano to heal him.

Why do I think it happened here? Well at this point Yosano has been run to exhaustion and she's seen a lot of "death" at this point without having actually seen death. I think her watching Mori "kill" someone to make her heal changed something about how her ability functions. This first theory is mainly based off of the theory that trauma is where abilities stem from and can therefore change them. In addition, Yosano says that she wants to save the lives in front of her. She's placing the condition that she must be saving a life for her ability to work here and Mori is solidifying it by almost killing Tachihara's brother.

2. Yosano simply chooses not to heal someone if they aren't severely injured. This is either done subconsciously or consciously.

Subconsciously is likely the result of her working as a doctor in the Great War, because again, Yosano has seen so much during the war. It's likely that she can not bring herself to heal small injuries again after watching Tachihara's brother die. I also believe that it might be her way of minimizing her "correctness" (this is in reference to the fact that Tachihara's brother tells Yosano before he dies that she is "too right/just/correct" depending on the translation) and her way of coping with what happened to her.

Consciously, I feel like is less likely but still possible. If Yosano is the one to seriously injure and maim the patient, then she is in full control. She knows how close to death they are, their mental state, and how best to heal them. This also prevents people from coming to her for injuries, once again minimizing her "correctness". This also allows Yosano to prevent what happened to Tachihara's brother from happening again.

All in all I think that Yosano is just absolutely fascinating and we really don't see any other abilities in BSD that did what Yosano's did.

#i love yosano #I want to pick her up and give her a hug #I think that her ability is so facinating tho #its the only one that heals in bsd #besides atsushi #but atsushi only heals himself so he doesn't really count #the bsd brain rot is strong #and it's only going to get worse #also i think that if Tachihara ever finds out that Mori almost killed his brother in order to get yosano to heal him #and really being the reason his brother decided to commit suicide #I think tachihara's gonna have some loyalty problems #which sucks because I really love that tachihara is happy in the port mafia #Also can you see the anguish in yosano's eyes when mori shoots tachihara's brother #I'm so normal about her #I wrote this all fancy like #like it was for an english class #and now im just being feral in the tags #bungou stray dogs #bsd yosano #bsd mori #bsd tachihara #bsd tachihara's brother #bsd #yosano akiko #akiko yosano

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