#love that all 3 of them canonically have had a child with joel
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just finished Jimmy's crazy christmas music stream and the song "Joel's Children" made me think of this
#never forget mandy mane#love that all 3 of them canonically have had a child with joel#daddy joel <3#smallishbeans#empires s2#oli orionsound#solidaritygaming#mythical sausage
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safe and sound
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
summary: Your daughter has a nightmare—her daddy makes it all better.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. set in Jackson. slight canon age deviations (Joel is 56, Ellie is 17) READER’S AGE IS NOT SPECIFIED. she’s a child bearing adult woman so do with that information what you will. established relationship, reader and Joel have a toddler (her age is not specified in fic but she’s 3 ish years old), reader has NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION and neither does their child except she has Joel’s eyes and his dark curls, no mentions of her skintone. Joel and Ellie are fine bc he deserves it, Joel’s an overprotective girl dad, reader is the chill parent. implications of a toddler being told about clickers, bad dreams, almost smut, Joel and reader get cockblocked, SOFT Joel who comforts his babygirl, mention of Sarah towards the end. very minimal editing.
word count: 2.3k
a/n: listen, i love me some daddy joel but tonight i needed a bit of actual daddy joel. this was whipped up last minute bc i haven’t had the best weekend and needed some comfort. also i didn’t have the mental capacity or energy to come up with a moodboard, so gif it is.
Joel looks down at the old, worn book in his hand.
Winnie the Pooh.
He never would have imagined it. This.
Reading a bedtime story to a toddler. His toddler.
He’s in his fifties—he shouldn’t have a toddler.
He shouldn’t have a teenager, either.
Yet, he has both.
The toddler has his blood, the teenager doesn’t.
But that doesn’t matter to him.
Joel still considers her to be his own kid.
Only, she’s not a kid anymore, not really.
She’s seventeen now. She doesn’t need him much anymore, not the way that his toddler needs him.
“Ellie’s not coming home tonight,” you’d said from where you stood at the stove, stirring in chunks of potato and chopped carrots into the pot of stew in front of you. “There’s a birthday party down at the bar. She’s going with Dina and Jesse.” You can feel the look of disapproval on his face and add, “I said she could go, Joel. She asked me permission.”
“She didn’t ask me,” he’d gruffed. He looked down at the little girl sitting in his lap, scribbling away on an old state map. He had given it to her along with the pack of crayons he’d found during patrol when his group stumbled across a schoolhouse. Though crumbling on the outside, the inside had remained untouched throughout the last two decades—little coats hanging over the back of little chairs, papers scattered all over little desks, little lunch boxes still stored in their cubbies at the back of the room. He instructed the group to search for anything useful, anything that Jackson’s teachers could use for the children in their classrooms. Joel knew that taking without trading was against the rules, but that did nothing to stop him from secretly slipping the box of crayons into his jacket pocket when no one had been looking.
His daughter’s squeals of delight when he’d gifted them to her had been well worth the theft.
“Because she knew you’d say no to her.”
“I would have. Kid’s got no business going to a bar at her age. She’s fuckin’ seventeen years ol—”
The little girl had gasped and stopped coloring.
“Daddy said a bad word.”
You’d turned around and glared at him. “He did.”
She looked up at him with her wide, brown eyes.
Those she’d gotten from him. His dark curls too.
Everything else?
Her smile, her nose, her softness?
That was all you.
“M’sorry, babygirl,” he apologized, sheepishly.
“S’okay, daddy.”
And back to coloring she went.
“Joel, let’s face it. Ellie’s growing up. She’s turning eighteen in a few months and truth is, she has one foot out the door.” Crossing your arms, you leaned back against the counter. “She was telling me how she wants to turn the garage into her own space.”
“There a reason she ain’t talkin’ to me ‘bout this?”
You’d smiled wistfully at him.
“Because she knows this is hard for you, Joel.”
It is hard. Because even though she isn’t his, she’s his and he’s afraid to lose her somehow.
Joel manages to snap himself out of his thoughts.
Rosemary’s now fast asleep, her well loved stuffed bunny rabbit wrapped in her arms. She’s a handful for him during bedtime—she has too much energy and most nights, you have to step in and help him. But tonight, after her bath, he had warmed a glass of milk for her to drink and it seemed to have done the trick because within minutes of him reading to her, her eyes fluttered closed.
Joel sets the book down and leans over to brush a kiss onto her cheek, quietly whispering goodnight. “Sweet dreams, babygirl.”
He switches off the lamp on the bedside table and steps out of his child’s bedroom, being careful not to wake her as he closes the door behind him.
“I still can’t believe she fell asleep within minutes,” you say, staring at him in utter disbelief. “How?”
“Gave her a glass of warm milk before I tucked her into bed,” Joel explains, tugging on a pair of faded black sweatpants. He peels off his shirt and tosses it onto the floor before climbing into bed. “Worked like a fuckin’ charm. She’s out like a damn light.”
You set your book down and raise an eyebrow.
“Joel, I brushed her teeth before her bath.”
“I brushed them again after she drank it, darlin’.”
He outstretches his arm, beckoning for you.
Grinning, you scoot closer to him, draping an arm over his bare chest. “It’s only nine,” you tell him. “I have no idea what we’re going to do with all of this free time we have. Rosemary’s asleep, Ellie’s gone for the night.” You slowly drag your hand down his chest and over his stomach, a finger skimming the waistband of his sweatpants. You hear the way his breath catches in his throat and tease, “I guess we can actually get some good sleep for once, huh?”
Groaning, Joel rolls over and pins you down to the bed as he positions himself on top of you, his eyes glazed over with lust. “We can sleep,” he murmurs as his mouth hovers over yours. He reaches for the buttons of his flannel you’re wearing and begins to single-handedly pop them open only to find you’re not wearing anything underneath. He groans once more. “Or I can make you feel good. S’your choice, baby.”
You gasp as he nips at your chin and starts trailing his lips lower, peppering kisses down the length of your body. Heat blossoms in your lower belly as he settles himself between your thighs. Hooking both arms around them, he nibbles at the soft spot that is right below your navel, the spot you hate, but he adores. Having a child had changed your body and while you two seldom had time to yourselves to do anything of this nature, when you did find time, he never failed to make you feel like you were still just as beautiful to him, if not a thousand times more.
“Fuck,” you whimper. “Please, Joel.”
“Please what, sweetheart? What do you want?”
His voice is low, husky.
Your hands reach down and tangle in his curls.
“Your mouth, Joel. Please. I need your—”
The sound of a teeny knock at the door makes you both freeze on the spot.
“You heard that, right?” you ask him breathlessly.
There’s a second teeny knock.
It’s then followed by an even teenier voice.
“Mommy? Daddy?”
“Fuck,” Joel hisses, scrambling off the bed. “What the hell is she doin’ out of bed?” Picking his t-shirt up from the floor, he quickly throws it on, ignoring that he’d put it on inside out. Watching you as you fumble to button his flannel, he calls, “Just give us one second babygirl, alright? We’ll be right there.”
“I’m decent,” you tell him, getting the last button.
Nodding, Joel opens the bedroom door. His knees protest when he squats down, lowering himself so that he can meet Rosemary’s tearful gaze.
“S’matter, Rosie Posie?” he asks her in a soft voice that he reserves for his girls. “What happened?”
She sniffles. “I—I had a bad dream, daddy.”
You sit on the side of bed and wait patiently.
Joel has it handled. He always has it handled.
He never stopped knowing how to be a father.
“You had a bad dream?” he repeats, frowning.
Rosemary nods, clutching her rabbit to her chest.
A single tear slips down the side of her little face.
Joel reaches out, gingerly wiping it with his finger.
“M’sorry it scared you, babygirl. Tell you what, just for tonight, how about you sleep with me and your mama in our bed? That sound good?” With a small labored grunt, he scoops her into his arms. She is getting heavier and you often tell him it’s not good for his back—he can’t care less. He’ll keep picking her up until the moment his little girl decides she’s a big girl and doesn’t want him to pick her up. Joel carries her over to the bed and sits her on your lap and reminds her, “But this is just for tonight, Rosie Posie. Tomorrow night you’re back in your own big girl bed, alright?”
“Okay,” she nods again and leans against you, tiny shoulders slumping.
“Rosie? What was your dream about?” you ask her gently, wrapping your arms around her. She hardly ever has nightmares—she’s too young to know the world outside the commune’s walls, smart but still too little to understand why she cannot go outside the gates. “What did you dream about, honey?”
She hesitates, then answers, “Monsters.”
“Monsters?” Perplexed, you glance at Joel.
He seems to be just as confused as you are.
“Who did you hear that word from, babygirl?”
“Robbie.”
Your neighbor’s unruly, troublemaker son.
Joel’s jaw clenches slightly. “Thought I told you he ain’t allowed to be around her. The kid is nine, ain’t got no business bein’ around Rosemary. Little brat ain’t nothin’ but a bad influence. He’s always up to no good.” He shakes his head at you. “Said I didn’t want that boy anywhere near our daughter.”
“The kids were out playing in the snow today,” you remember. “He must have been there too. It’s kind of hard to tell who is who when they’re all bundled up and flinging snowballs at each other, Joel.” You shoot him an apologetic look. “Rosie was having a blast playing with everybody—I’m sorry. I suppose I should’ve paid more attention to who was around her.”
He bites back a sigh. He knows it’s not your fault.
Rosie’s too good of a girl, too pure and innocent to know that not everybody is her friend.
“Rosie, what did Robbie say to you?”
Again, the child hesitates.
“He said—he said monsters live outside. They bite people and turn them into monsters too. He said it happened to his daddy.” Rosemary’s eyes flit from you to Joel. “He said it would happen to you, too.”
Your eyes widen in shock. “He said that to you?”
Hands curling into fists, Joel reminds himself now isn’t the time to let his anger take over. “S’not true at all, babygirl.” He reaches over and slides her out of your lap and onto his. Like you, he wants to lie—tell her those monsters she was told about are not real, that they don’t exist. But they do exist and as much as he wishes he could keep her from finding out about all that lies beyond Jackson’s walls, Joel knows that one day, she will. “Listen to me. M’real sorry to hear ‘bout Robbie’s daddy, baby. But I can promise you, that ain’t gonna happen to me.”
She points a chubby finger at you.
“What about mommy?”
“Ain’t gonna happen to her either.”
Rosemary drops her hand, fear clear in her tone as she asks the both of you, “What about me?”
“Of course not,” you say, smoothing back her dark curls. “You’re safe here, honey. As safe as can be.”
Joel nods. “Your mama’s right, darlin’. You’re safe,” he reassured her. “You’re safe and sound.”
“I am?”
He gives her body a warm, gentle squeeze. “Mhm. Always will be. Y’know how I know that, babygirl?”
“How?”
“‘Cause. As long as daddy’s around, he will always protect you,” he promises her. “He’ll never, ever let anythin’ bad happen to you, Rosie. I swear it.” Joel kisses the top of her head, his gaze meeting yours. He murmurs his oath quietly, “On my life.”
Flashing him a small, grateful smile, you reach out and touch his forearm and he places his hand over your own.
“And mommy too?” Rosemary questions him.
“And mommy too.”
“And Ellie?”
“And Ellie,” he nods, firmly. “M’always gonna keep my girls safe. S’long as I’m around, you’re all safe.”
Rosie tiredly snuggles into his chest, yawning.
“What about you, daddy?”
“Huh?”
You squeeze his arm. “Think she’s asking you who is supposed to keep you safe, Joel.”
The little girl nods sleepily. “Yeah. Who?”
“Well.” Joel’s throat bobs nervously. He knows the moment he says what he’s about to say, there’s no going back. Not that he never planned to tell Rosie about her sister, but he’d always imagined doing it when she was older and understood death. “I—uh, I have an angel in the clouds who looks out for me. She watches over me, keeps me safe and sound.”
Rosemary’s curiosity is all that is keeping her from completely passing out in his arms.
“Really? You have an angel?”
Your heart squeezes tightly in your chest. “Joel—”
He lightly shakes his head.
“S’fine sweetheart. I don’t mind tellin’ her.”
Rosie’s fighting to stay awake just a little longer.
“Daddy? What’s your angel’s name?”
Joel answers in the steadiest voice he can muster.
“Her name was—her name is Sarah.”
“Sarah,” she mumbles, her eyes closing. “S’pretty. Your angel has a really pretty name.”
“The prettiest name,” you agree, softly.
Rosie yawns again. “Daddy?”
“What is it, babygirl?”
“Will you tell me stories about Sarah? Please?”
Joel chuckles, rubbing her back. “I sure will. I have plenty of them to tell, Rosie Posie. But not tonight. I’ll save them for tomorrow ni—”
You cut him off. “Joel?”
“Yeah?”
“She’s out cold.”
He glances down and sure enough, she’s asleep.
Moments later, the three of you are in bed. Rosie’s in the middle, curled up against Joel’s chest—your chest is pressed against her back but you’re being careful not to sandwich her in too tight in between your bodies.
In a beam of silvery moonlight shining through the bedroom window, you meet Joel’s gaze.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
He chuckles. “For what? Doin’ my job and soothin’ our daughter after a bad dream?”
You smile at him.
“For being so good to her. To me and Ellie.” Lifting a hand, you reach over and cup the side of his face in your palm. “You’re so good to all three of us and I can’t even imagine what we’d do without you.”
Joel turns his face, brushing a kiss into your hand.
“I mean it,” he says, quietly. “S’long as I’m around, you girls will always be safe and sound.”
credit divider @saradika-graphics
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fluff#joel miller angst#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller one shot#joel miller fic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fic#fic: safe and sound
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webcam for beginners
paring: Dave York x f!Reader
rating: explicit (18+ minors DNI)
word count: 3,7k~
warnings: power imbalance (boss/employee); age gap (reader mid to late 20s, Dave 45); mutual pining; f and m masturbation; a hint of voyeurism; dirty talk; not proof/beta read sorry; no use of y/n. let me know if I missed anything
a/n: a very special thank you to @noxturnalpascal for helping fellow sulking writers get out of the writing slump with this prompt/excersise! It definitely helped because i was stuck for more than two weeks unable to put out anything but a couple of fruitless ideas, but this I banged out in a day and now i feel so much motivation to continue writing it's insane! thank you hottie ily and you're honestly the purest gem of a human being <3
PROMPT: Pick a Pedge Daddy character - Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Dave York, etc. (it can be Canon or Non-Canon/AU/No Outbreak). PPCU Daddy is surprised - and excited - to learn that the grad/postgrad student he hires to watch his child sometimes also works as a: stripper/dancer/cam-girl/onlyfans-model/dating-or-escort-service (or straight-up SW)
*1000 word Minimum - 2000 word Maximum (yeh that one went splendid)
MY MAIN MASTERLIST
“Would you mind if I get a side job, Mr. York?”
You had been meaning to start this conversation earlier, like a month ago and definitely not when your employer and the father of two adorable baby girls David York was running late after dealing with burnt toast and spilled coffee courtesy of his eldest daughter. You stopped him right as he was about to leave his house, his hand frozen halfway to the keys laying on the shelf.
“Why? Don’t I pay you enough?”
“No, no of course not.” You shook your head. The last thing you wanted was to appear greedy when he already was paying you more than any family on the upper-middle class filled street would. "It’s not about that. It’s just…” You tried to gather your thoughts together, every line that you rehearsed in front of the mirror abandoning your head. “You know, I wasn’t going to make babysitting my whole profession, and since this is the last summer before I graduate, I’d love to have something remote so I could save up and take care of myself further on… I understand if that’s not something you… I just, it’s not even a job right now, I’d just take courses to get into the job and I can take those when the kids are asleep so it won’t affect them at all! You know I wouldn’t let anything affect them.”
“Jesus, dear, relax.” Dave listened to you patiently, finally placing both of his big hands on your shoulders, grounding you. He laughed merrily, and you felt a wave of embarrassment, hiding your eyes from his prying browns. “I can’t even get a word in. And I’d really like to because the word is yes, of course. You’ve been nothing but helpful these past months, and I am very appreciative of the fact that you warn me beforehand. Not that I thought you’d stay our babysitter forever, however pleasant the prospect is.”
Your eyes widened, surprise and happiness fighting for a place in the depth of them. "Really? You don’t mind?” You never thought Mr. York would full on refuse or fire you, but the fact that he let you do this freely without cutting your salary or suggesting you find a different time for this made your heart swell with joy. This man was a treasure, and he reminded you about that once again.
“No, I don’t. As long as girls get the same amount of your attention, you have the green light from me.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. York!” You didn’t even try to stop the urge to throw your arms around that man, jumping a little and almost squealing how grateful you were, chills erupting under your skin when you felt him return the innocent gesture and engulf your body with his arms and fresh smell.
He came back early that day, knowing that the girls were probably having their daytime nap, but excited at the prospect of spending his first evening in weeks with them together, as a family. Maybe he could even persuade you to stay for dinner. He scratched his chin, thinking if you’d be more inclined to stay if he ordered Chinese or Mexican, when he stumbled over one of the toys girls must have dropped. In an attempt to not fall, Dave spread his arms, grabbing the coat rack and steadying himself, but letting the rucksack that was hanging from it fall. He cursed under his breath, hoping that the noise didn’t wake his daughters, and crouched down to gather all the things that spilled from obviously your bag. He recognized the familiar items from your bag and held up a lipstick, smiling at the memory of Alice begging you to put it on her. You agreed, and he went to work with a tiny lipstick stain his baby girl left on his cheek when she said goodbye. He shoved most of the things inside, still reminiscing, when a bright book cover caught his attention. The title on the book cover read “Webcam for Beginners: A Step-by-Step Guide” . Confused about why you might have bought a book about webcams, Dave felt a pang of unease. Before he could go any further with his assumptions, he decided to open a seemingly boring guide book. Your rucksack fell back to the floor when he saw the contents of the thing. Right in front of his eyes there were dozens of tips, graphs with specific angles, various body parts all to make this the best guide book for future cam girls.
Fuck.
His back was covered with sticky sweat as he put the book on the key shelf, the one that was too high for his girls to try and play with his keys. His steps were slow, as Dave was still thinking what he was supposed to do with it, if he was supposed to do anything at all. After all, you were a free woman with her body autonomy, and he was just a single dad with a shady job and an ex-wife who spent all her waking hours trying to ruin his life.
On autopilot, he walked up the stairs, opening his daughters’ bedroom without making any noise. They were sleeping peacefully, trading two separate beds to sleep hugging each other in one, Alice’s. Dave smiled, softly, his heart soaring with love for his girls, when he heard loud breathing. He wasn’t dumb, so he didn’t even wonder what those noises were or where they were coming from. He strode to the end of the hall to where the guest room was located. The door was just slightly ajar and he shook his head, disapproving both you and himself but for very different reasons.
Damn, you were beautiful. He shouldn’t be doing this. It was wrong, but once he got a first look at the beautiful expanse of your back, at the curve of your ass that he saw you tried to twist awkwardly this way and that so it looked better on the old laptop screen, he couldn’t be bothered with guilt.
Your attention was fully on the picture of yourself on the screen, and he couldn’t blame you, he wasn’t able to take his eyes off of you either. Dave felt his pants become tighter, his blue shirt most likely sported a big damp stain on his back both from the august heat and the unbearable strain of his arousal. He saw you lean back from the camera, opening your naked thighs and trying to lift them up to see if it looked better that way, but that meant that the mic would barely pick your beautiful breathy moans that you tried to keep on the quieter side for the sake of the girls, Dave figured. Your left hand supported your weight as your right were busy between your thighs.
“You should move your camera closer if you want them to hear and see what you sell.”
The speed with which you covered your bare body was so fast that Dave thought he glitched for a moment.
“Mr. York!” Your eyes were as wide as they could physically be, horror written all over your face. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
Dave let out a chuckle, striding into the room confidently and closing the door behind. “Aren’t you supposed to study for your new work?”
“I… Well, I,” you had nothing to tell him, no quick reply that could at least soften the blow. Nothing. And you were still very aware of your nakedness, even though you covered your front as much as you could, your back that faced the wall was still visible. Your old laptop created steady brown noise as the hard drive fought for its life with the editing and video recording app still going.
“You already were, weren’t you?” Dave slowly approached and sat down on a comfortable chair right in front of the bed. His dick was painfully hard for the last ten minutes since he had found that stupid book and imagined what you did with it.
“I’m sorry, I know how it looks, but I’m…”
He interrupted you with a hand gesture, “I don’t care what you choose to do with your body, dear. It’s yours for a reason, and I have no say. I’m no one to you.”
You felt both a relief and a sense of disappointment washing over you. Mr. York was right, he was no one to you, just a man with two adorable little daughters who paid you to look after them. He didn’t have to take the responsibility for your little crush on him. You smiled still, a warm happiness spreading all over your insides because you were right, and he wasn’t one of those conservative bastards. He respected your choice and he… Wait, why was he still in the room, his eyes not leaving your body, lips wet with a fresh coat of saliva from his tongue.
“Mr. York…”
“I’d like it very much if you called me Dave.”
You nodded, and started over.
“Dave, why are you still…” you finished your sentence by pointing your finger around the room.
“I thought I could help you,” he stated nonchalantly, manspreading his legs wide and letting you see the stiff outline of his cock even through the material. “I saw your little book,—”
"You what?”
“- on accident. Thought I might help you, since you did nothing but help me all these past weeks. I do know how a good cam girl can sell herself, from a buyer’s point of view.”
You felt another wave of heat washing over your body, but this time it was of a different origin. This man - this gorgeous, smart man - suggested you to help with… what exactly? You didn’t let yourself ponder about it too much, just agreeing to whatever he wanted to give you. Anything, even just a hungry gaze from him spiked your arousal harder than any porn you’d ever watched. Dave’s face twisted in a cocky smile, the one he gave you instead of saying ‘I told you so’, whenever he was right and you were wrong. The one that made you wanna kiss it off his face.
“How are you going to… help?” Embarrassment wasn’t a feeling you’ve experienced a lot, otherwise the choice of what you were about to do would’ve been the wrongest one ever, but somehow with him you felt like a virgin schoolgirl, despite being ten years older than one, and a dozen dicks more experienced.
“Well, for starters, I guess you’ll need to drop that blanket.”
Your throat bobbed, a thick glob of saliva barely passing down with how tense you were. There was nothing to be ashamed of, or shy about, but Dave… Goddamnit, it would be so much easier if you didn’t have a crush on him.
As if reading your hesitation right from your face, he put his wide palm on his crotch, pressing down a little.
“Would it be easier for you to show me yours if I showed you mine?”
You choked on air from his proposition, you wanted to see that man naked for as long as you can remember, sizing him up in his tight slacks and crisp shirts every time he went away for work. Going as far as coming thirty minutes earlier in hopes to see that man leaving the shower in a towel. God, you were such a creep, you cringed at yourself. Dave interpreted your face differently, his own coming from a hungry excitement to confusion and embarrassment?
“We don’t have to…” He placed both his hands on the arms of the chair preparing to stand up and leave, but you didn’t let him, dropping the material that covered your body and exposing yourself to him.
“No, no, no! I want to.” You hurried to give him the most pleading face you could manage, “I really want to. I wanted for a while, actually.”
The smirk returned in his face as quickly as it went away, and he was back in the role of the leader, someone with control. “Really?”
Instead of replying, you spread your legs, showing off your bare glistening pussy, that was now more wet than after you played with it.
“Oh, fuck. Well, that’s a good start, baby.”
You almost moaned as you heard him calling you baby. You’d had dreams in which he would pound into your pussy with abandon and call you baby, his baby. Your hand traveled from the column of your neck to the valley between your breasts, sliding left and pinching the hard bud of your nipple.
Dave didn’t go down on his promise, making a quick work of his pants and reaching out to pull his cock through the slit on his boxers.
Oh, how fucking gorgeous his cock was. You felt your mouth competing with your pussy over who would produce more wetness at the sight of his beautiful thick shaft topped with a fat tip that was just a little grittier than the rest of him. The red color of the head as well as the precum pooling in his slit told you that he’d been hard for a while now, and you felt proud for making him this aroused. Dave took his cock between the tips of his thumb and two fingers, bobbing it up and down and watching your eyes follow the movement, hypnotized by it. Emboldened by his openness, you felt every bit of hesitation drain from you. In that moment you were nobody but two beautiful bodies that desired pleasure, there was no room for shame.
“So what would sell me for you, Dave?”
His gaze darkened, brown of his eyes matching the wet stain of arousal that you left on the simple sheets. Dave licked his lips, his tongue slowing down on the plush lower one, and tightened the gip on his cock, not yet moving.
“Make sure that the camera catches how wet your pretty cunt is, and don’t be shy. At least, not too shy.”
“Doesn’t innocence sell?”
“Innocence in your voice and looks, not your actions, baby.” While the words settled in your brain, you tried to keep your hands away from your cunt, your entrance pulsing around emptiness, trying to suck anything in to fill you up. “Move the laptop, after all we’re learning the tricks of the trade here.”
You moved your old Lenovo from the edge of the bed to sit between your spread legs. You saw the reflection of your glistening folds on the screen, but made sure that you weren’t obscuring the view for Dave.
“Now touch her,” Dave’s command was barely audible, his voice hoarse and a bit strained. “Tell me how good she feels. I need to practically feel her on my fingers.”
“You can,” you whispered, transfixed on the image of your fingers trying to spread the slick lips of your pussy.
You didn’t see him nod, telling you that he understood your implication, “I can, but they can’t.”
Fuck, your head snapped up to look at Dave’s face, but stopped at his dick, his head almost purple with how violently he was choking it. You returned your gaze to the screen, thinking that you could come just from the image of Dave getting himself off.
“My pussy,” you started hesitantly, closing your eyes for a moment and letting yourself just feel through your fingertips. “She feels really, really good. So soft and,” your index and middle fingers started tracing the outer lips, sometimes slipping inside, teasing you, “and so wet.” Your fingers slipped on your wetness proving your words, and slid lower, where you felt desperately empty. “So wet my fingers just want to slip inside.”
You heard a distinct spitting sound, and lifted your eyes once again just in time to see Dave’s palm, wet with his saliva, close around the throbbing shaft of his cock. You bit your lip hard, like you were the one feeling Dave’s relief. The sting of the bite piercing your lip helped you return to reality, which was in no way worse than a dream. Your fingers slowly caressed your pussy, thumb circling your clit in long-learned movements that sent jolts of pleasure up your spine. The lewd sounds of you spreading your slick all around your lips and Dave’s hand stroking up and down his cock combined together, as your rapid breaths tried to tie up with them in a unique symphony.
Dave’s eyes never left your pussy. The angle wasn’t perfect, but he could see your dripping core illuminated by the light of the computer screen like it was the star of the show. No, it was the star of the show. Your beautiful, shining lips puffy and swollen with your teasing, your fingers slippery and your clit throbbing, begging. Dave’s eyes went dry and he forced himself to blink.
“Come on, baby, fuck yourself on those little fingers. I need to know how good she feels inside.”
You simply nodded, surprised to realize that this was exactly what you were waiting for, for him to tell you. Your fingers eagerly slipped inside, two at the same time, and your whimpers made you sound pathetic but pleased.
“Good girl,” Dave all but growled, his hand tightening around his head to stave off the embedding orgasm. He wasn’t romantic enough to calculate for you to come together, but he wanted you to come first at least. “Is she tight, baby? Is that pretty cunt hungry? I see her just sucking your fingers in like it’s nothing.”
You felt your body cover with a sheen of sweat like it was your second skin. You should’ve chosen a different position, or at least lean on the bedpost, but now there was no way you’d move so you had to keep your body up with one hand while letting the other one fuck into your pussy, with your legs spread as wide as the fucking horizon. Dave was right, your pussy welcomed your fingers with ease, it wasn’t the first time you filled her today, but you felt the disappointing lack of girth mentally comparing your slender digits with Dave’s meatier ones. Your brows knitted in frustration as you continued fucking your fingers into your squelching entrance.
“She’s so hot, and wet,” your words were interrupted by your own carefully quiet moans but you didn’t stop speaking. “So tight, but she would be tighter around yours.”
“Good job, baby,” David nodded, resuming the stroking of his cock, gentler this time. “Tell them, make them want to be there with you.”
“Fuck them, oh” you tried to push your fingers deeper and deeper, touch that exquisite spot, something you just knew Dave would do easily, but your fingers were not fit for that, “I’m talking about your fingers, Dave. They would feel so good inside me.” You almost cried, sweat from extortion and a single tear mixing together on your cheeks.
You saw York’s jaw clench as if he was physically in pain, “do you think you can handle these fat fingers, little thing?”
As soon as he said it, your eyes were glued to two of his fingers - index and middle - that he put up, holding them next to his lips and then giving them a slow wet suck.
Your body shuddered in a pre-orgasmic convulsion and you squeezed your eyes shut the image of him imprinted on your eyelids. “Yes, yes, I can, she can. She’d be so tight and wet for you, you’d spread her so wide with your fat fingers.”
“Show me,” he ordered, and you didn’t even think before falling on your back and squeezing two fingers of your other hand inside your pussy, spreading it apart and showing him the most hidden, and intimate part of yourself shamelessly. The air hit your heated core with cruel coldness, but you just accepted the wild contrast, making it excite your burning skin even more.
“Oh God, you perfect little thing, fuck yourself,” he prompted, his voice hurried and feverish, just like his movements, “fuck your wet little pussy with your fingers, come on.”
You would never be tired of obeying him, you thought, keeping just two of your fingers inside and letting the other hand caress your abandoned clit. Your movements became synchronized, no way to know who adjusted to who, but creating an illusion of something both of you silently wanted for some time now. You forced your eyes to open, moving your head so you could see Dave in the armchair looking back at you. All the words have been forgotten in the desperate chase for pleasure. Your eyes roamed each other dripping like raindrops from the disheveled hair, to furrowed in concentration brows, from wet lips to the dip in beneath the column of the neck, filling up with sweat; low low low to the moving hands, jealous of each other’s limbs and digits, internally begging to be their replacements. You wanted your whole body to become a vessel of Dave’s pleasure; he wanted to dive inside your cunt and suffocate in its wetness and warmth.
“Come on, baby,” he gritted through his teeth, “come for me, give it to me, come on.”
Both your hands sped up in an attempt to finally reach that peak, and no matter how unromantic David thought himself to be, your orgasms spilled out of you with less than a second of difference.
Your body convulsed with after-shocks while Dave hissed, letting go of his cock and closing his eyes for the first time this evening.
“The book was more helpful, but it was more fun with you.” You quipped joyfully, and Dave lifted his head that felt like it weighed at least a thousand pounds from the back of the chair, looking at you.
The smile that you directed at the ceiling was radiant, and he couldn’t contain one of his. Dave looked at your wasted body, and suddenly it was his turn to feel hesitant and shy. Still, he gathered the leftover composure and stood up, moving towards the bed where you still laid with your eyes closed and lips stretched with joy.
“Maybe we could put some of the tips to use, to see if they work?”
You opened your eyes, immediately finding his.
“I wouldn’t say no to that.”
please leave a comment if you liked what you read
#Dave York x reader#dave york x female reader#dave york x you#Dave York x y/n#pedro pascal fanfiction#dave york fanfiction#iamasaddie fic
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Outtakes - Long ass fics
AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist
Howdy folks!
Here's a list of fics I've read that are either over 100k words or have 20+ chapters.
Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.
Pedro boys currently included are: Din Djarin, Frankie Morales, Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Dave York, Dieter Bravo, Oberyn Martell, Jack Daniels, and Pedro Across the Street + a Din x Joel fic (no reader insert)
updated 3/27/2024
Din Djarin
Starlight by LovelessDagger | 300k
Summary: Nothing ever truly dies. Not the Empire, not the dark, not her. The Mandalorian should know this, and somewhere deep down he does. Whether he cares is a different story. Consequences and the whole of them be damned.
Tags: Assassins & Hitmen, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Blood and Violence, Explicit Language. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Morally Ambiguous Character, OFC, Trauma, Found Family, Betrayal, Secrets, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Filled with existential dread, Sexual Tension, Heavy symbolism, two idiots with family issues form a family, Past Child Abuse, Mutual Pining, Angst, Eventual Smut, Clones, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sith, Imperial Inquisitors, Secret Past, No one tells the truth, Metaphorical Addiction
I Only See Daylight by @millersdjarin | 141.6k
Summary: You’ve stayed in one place all this time, knowing that any move to leave could lead them to find you. When a Mandalorian and his child crash land on your home planet, you can't turn them away for help.
Tags: Smut, slow burn, post-canon, trauma, past emotional/physical abuse, relgious trauma, scars, negative self-image, found family, injury, heavy angst, fluff and love
A Fresh Start by @theidiotwhowritesthings | 140k
Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.
Tags: use of fake name, reader is hiding from a shady past, depressive symptoms, jealousy, pining, angst, hurt/comfort, medical trauma, nightmares, blood, injury, traumatic past, scars, slow burn, shooting training, sick child, fear and panic, canon typical violence, blackmailing, anxiety, self doubt, sexual tension, heavy petting, panic attack, male masturbation, arguing, mentions of alcohol and a bit of binge drinking, angst, people getting drunk, non descriptive torture, murder, fluff, mentions of death, non consensual groping of reader by a stranger, smut, oral f receiving
Stitches by @djarinsbeskar | 190k
Summary: What is a former combat medic to do when an injured Mandalorian stumbles upon her clinic one night on Klatooine?
Tags: Smut, action, fluff, angst, canon-typical violence
Beskar Doll by @justagalwhowrites | 232.4k
Summary: You have a knack for finding trouble, be it in the midst of Galactic Civil War or when trying to live the quiet life after getting out of the game. So when you're stuck fleeing your new home planet after pissing off the wrong people - again - there's only one person willing to take you: the Mandalorian. But after years of fighting faceless men, you're not the trusting type toward someone always wearing a helmet and the Mandalorian quickly suspects there's more to you than he knows.
Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Canon-Typical Violence, Pre-Canon, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Dry Humping, Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Mando'a Language (Star Wars), Protective Din Djarin, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Din Djarin Removes the Helmet, Past Domestic Violence, Brat Tamer Din Djarin, Vaginal Fingering, Soft Din Djarin, POV Din Djarin, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Mandalorian Culture (Star Wars), Mutual Masturbation, Masturbation, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, PIV, Unsafe Sex, Consent King Din Djarin, Din Djarin's Helmet Stays on During Sex, Vaginal Sex, Din Djarin talks you through it, Making Love, Pregnancy
Best Kept Secret by @lincolndjarin | 188k
Summary: Married off to a prince on a planet that you hate? New husband doesn't know you, and doesn't want to know you? New husband gifts you a personal Mandalorian body guard as a wedding present? Mandalorian is a wiseass who won't leave you alone? Lucky you.
Tags: no y/n, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Princess!Reader, Arranged Marriage, bodyguard!din, Smut, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Glove Kink, Light Dom/sub, Switch Din Djarin, Switch Reader, Body Worship, Din Djarin Has a Breeding Kink, Hate Sex, Creampie, Sex Toys, Anal Play, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, eventual pregnancy (right at the end)
Be-All and Endor by @djarins-cyare | 400k
Summary: Languishing in a dull and lonely existence on the forest moon of Endor after travelling there to help salvage Death Star wreckage, a nearly fatal encounter with a mysterious bounty hunter out in the forest heralds an opportunity to utilise long-forgotten skills and develop something more profound than you ever thought possible.
Tags: Slow Burn, Slow Build, Romance, Love, Sexual Tension, Eventual Smut, Smut, Sex, Sexual Content, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Relationships, Healthy Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Dark Past, Additional Warnings In Author's Notes, Bounty Hunter Din Djarin, Soft Din Djarin, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Smart Din Djarin, Soft Dominant Din Djarin, Ewok Species, Mandalorian Culture, Mando'a Language, New Razor Crest, Thoroughly Researched, Worldbuilding, No use of y/n.
A Place of Safety by The_InvisibleWoman (AO3) | 178k
Summary: Persuaded into picking up one last quarry on his way home, an exhausted Mandalorian is in no mood for you, but he slowly begins to think that things are not as they should be. You’ve been on the run for so long and you don’t even know who from, but when you are captured by the bounty hunter, you think it’s all over.
Tags: Smut, slow burn, protective!Din, touch starvation, Din Djarin's point of view, fluff, angst, mutual pining, enemies to friends to lovers, rescue, falling in love, flirting, close proximity, gentle kissing, gentle sex, cuddling, threats of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, self harm, tickling, noncon
Wrest Pin by BalletOrchard (AO3) | 366k
Summary: “I can help you escape the planet,” Mando said sharply, “But I want information in return.” She looked up at him through the small hairs on her face and she whispered, sounding almost lost…As if she didn’t know what else to say… “I have no information.” Something Mando did not believe.
Tags: panic attacks, force sensitive!reader, unprotected PinV sex, smut, mando is a dick, angst, slow burn (romantically), touch starved!din, bickering, arguing, post season 1, fluff, ofc!evangeline, she like doesn’t get off the first time they fuck which i feel like is worth noting, feelings of regret, minor character death (evangeline’s whole fam), follows canon, mando lowkey keeping evangeline against her will but like she’s hiding from the empire so, near death experience(s), the helmet comes off, oral f receiving, blindfolding, shower sex
Somewhere Beautiful by @peetiespetals | 235k
Summary: You have been working as a slave since the demise of your people and destruction of your planet. A stranger passes through your life and you make a bid for freedom, thwarted by the very man who inspired you to reach for it. In a twist of fate, the two of you are thrown together and must learn how to live with each other as the lines between slave and master begin to blur. Can you really tell the difference between duty and devtion?
Tags: smut, fluff and smut, angst, rough sex, bdsm, abandonment, neglect, physical abuse, love stories, shower sex, mutual masturbation, dom/sub undertones, oral sex, shameless smut, praise kink, bondage, biting, slow burn, spanking, orgasm control, orgasm delay/denial, cock warming, master/slave, vaginal fingering, deep throating, breast worship, pussy spanking, ball play, public creampie, edging, anal sex, foot jobs, handcuffs, cock bondage, panties in mouth, aftercare, jealous din djarin, hurt/comfort, overstimulation, strong female characters, hurt no comfort, porn with plot, sexual tension, porn with feelings, canon typical violence, slow romance, fluff and angst, anxiety, manhandling, pov second person, vaginal sex, nipple play, dirty talk, hair pulling
I Think of You by @prolix-yuy | 107k
Summary: A Mandalorian and a woman spend a night together, neither expecting the other to return. But the galaxy works in mysterious ways and many years later, despite a mission and a Creed and the cruelty of their lives, they find each other again and begin a journey of their own.
Tags: graphic smut, drinking, smoking, dirty talk, The Helmet Stays On, safe PiV sex, drinking, suggestive language, canonical-typical violence. mentions of past sexual experiences, angst and yearning, female masturbation, grinding, descriptions of male and female bodies, illness (not graphic), fingering (f receiving), male masturbation, sexy massage, hand kink, mutual masturbation, fingers in mouths, semi-unprotected PiV sex, descriptions of injuries, blood, and medical-ish procedures, allusions to sexual acts, hurt/comfort
Tied by @radiowallet | 26 chapters
Summary: Dr. Din Djarin is the top cardiothoracic surgeon in his field. His work is meticulous, his judgment unquestionable. And then he get’s a new first assist, who couldn’t give two shits about anyone’s reputation.
Tags: Smut, Cursing, Graphic violence, some questionable power dynamics.
Take Me to Church by @frannyzooey | 31 chapters
Summary: Set in a brothel in the late 1800’s in the Wild West, you’ve only been working there for a month when Din Djarin shows up. A bounty hunter who makes stops into town between jobs, he is known at the inn for his generous appetite and demanding preferences. Asking for you one night, he is pleased to learn you are well suited for him: your sweet nature soothing to his gruff temperament and surprising him with your ability to handle his rougher tastes. Demanding that you be made available to him every time he is in town, neither one of you is ready for where this request leads.
Tags: MFF, oral sex (female/male receiving), vaginal sex, dirty talk, mentions of murder, rope play, mutual masturbation, idk man lots of smut
Losing My Religion by @oonajaeadira | 108k
Summary: A Mandalorian comes looking for you with an assignment from an old friend, sending you on a mission and a union that you both need.
Tags: Smut, canon-typical violence, post-season two canon, reader is force sensitive, alternating point of view, angst, fluff, yearning, mind control, injuries, mourning a lost spouse, alcohol, feelings of betrayal, touch starvation, implied masturbation, kissing, bounty hunter kink, grinding and fingering, Mando'a language
A Shade That's New by FallenFern (AO3) | 111k
Summary: After Mando and Grogu part he goes back to bounty hunting. But its not enough. Desperate to feel again Mando accepts a more dangerous line of work. He joins your small crew on a new job, putting you in close proximity wether you like it or not. Wary of anyone, especially Mandalorians, you try to keep him at arms length. After all, anyone and everyone could be an enemy and you were going to treat him like one.Yeah, thats lasts long…
Tags: OFC!Shade, described as smaller than Mando, curly or wavy hair, able bodied, can blush/flush, Alternating 2nd Person POV. Smut, making shit up, not canon, after grogu and AU, emotional pain, plot with porn, enemies to lovers, slow burn, trauma, sexual tension, action and romance, blood and injury, blood kink, the helmet stays on, but it also comes off, blindfold, light bondage, sexual assualt, threats of rape (not by Mando), praise kink, begging, semi public sex, blaster kink, cock warming, daddy mando, oral sex (f and m receiving), smut marathon, I’ll kill anyone that touches you trope, demanding mando, comfort sex, minor character death, betrayal, mando to the rescue, revenge, reunion sex, say my name trope, edge play, rough sex, throat grabbing but not exactly choking
Frankie Morales
Between the Raindrops by Jazzelsaur (AO3) | 148k
Summary: Two lives fall apart, then together. A journey told in parts and pieces. Frankie’s life is coming apart at the seams, when Ellie, a widow facing her own share of struggles, moves in next door. Together they find friendship, healing, and something more.
Tags: Widowed reader, divorced frankie, neighbors to friends to lovers, grief, mourning, angst, masturbation, pining, allusions to sex, eventual smut, slow burn, past drug use, alcohol, infertility, miscarriage mention, ptsd, handjobs, oral sex, smut, food, strained friendships, healing, allusions to verbal abuse, angst with a happy ending, idiots in lovedivorced!Frankie, widow!OC/reader, no one has kids, slow burn with great spicy scenes, smut! with plot
Sex Worker!Frankie AU by @prolix-yuy | 21 chapters
Summary: You’d never thought you’d be sitting on a hotel room bed, phone to your ear as you waited for someone on the other end to pick up. After a messy divorce you wanted something to ease the pain of loneliness. That something just happens to be the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen, even if you had to pay for him.
Tags: Sex Worker!Frankie, implied other Triple Frontier Boys!Sex Workers, watch me make up shit about sex work, descriptions of male and female bodies, oral sex (F receiving), like super descriptive oral (there might be over 2500 words dedicated to Frankie’s talents), female masturbation, fingering (f receiving), safe PiV sex, a touch of Feral Frankie, one ass slap, fingers in mouths, some angst and feelings sprinkled in there for flavor.
Frankie Morales Box Set by @frannyzooey | 20 chapters
Summary: A series of one shots in which Frankie Morales shows you just how much he likes movie night.
Tags: oral, PIV, cum eating, hand job, cockwarming, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, thigh riding, dry humping, lots of other shit
Javier Peña
Lie to Me by @iamskyereads | 151.8k
Summary: A recent transfer to the DEA from the FBI makes you a target of hazing from your co-workers. Choosing to forget your bad first day at a bar puts you on a path towards meeting a new acquaintance. An expert on deception and psychological profiling, you are adept at catching liars. What happens when an increasingly stressful work environment begins to test the limits of your personal life and the one man at the center of it all, Javier Peña? Afterall, everybody lies about something. But how many are you keeping from yourself?
Tags: An AU of Season 3 of Narcos.Language, Alcohol/Drinking, Smoking, POV Switches, assholery, office pranks/hazing, hatin on the FBI and the DEA too, but we all hate on the CIA the most, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, thigh grinding, PIV sex, soft Javi, Pining, Sexual Frustration, Use of A Sex Toy, Edging, Oral Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Guns, police raids, Parallel plots to the show, Smut, sloppy blowjobs, Shower Sex, Social Anxiety, Nightmares, Rough Sex, spitting, Semi-Public Sex, Office Sex, Love in an Elevator, death of background characters, kidnapping of background characters, Shootouts, Masturbation, Breeding Kink, discussions of fertility, kink negotiations, Spanking, Brat behavior, Mild D/s vibes, Creampie, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sex in a Church, Unprotected Sex, TacVest!Javi, Orgasm Denial, Angst with a Happy Ending, Period-Typical Sexism, Hospital, scar, accident of background characters, historical classism/sexism/racism, Grief/Mourning, Body Insecurities, Cockwarming, threats of kidnapping reader, light teasing, Flirting
Learning to Live by @wheresarizona | 382k
Summary: While grocery shopping, you happen across a handsome man confused by some produce. Coming to his aid leads to an invitation for drinks, and next thing you know, you’re falling head over heels for Javier Peña—a good man who has trouble believing he is. Sparks fly when you meet and ignite an insatiable need that you both try to fight for the sake of taking things slow; Javi determined to do things right by you. The problem is, the two of you only have so much self-control.
Tags: Post-Colombia and Narcos S3, Story Starts in June 1998.POV Alternating, Soft Javier Peña, Meet-Cute, First Dates, Javier Peña Needs a Hug, Whirlwind Romance, Javier Getting the Love and Happiness He Deserves, Javier Is Stubborn At First, Javier Peña in Love, Javier Being a Consent King, Multiple Orgasms, Vaginal Fingering, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Hand Jobs, Come Eating, Phone Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, Edgeplay, Body Worship, Shower Sex, Biting Javis Butt, Deepthroating, Biting, Javier Coming So Hard His Soul Leaves His Body, Spanking, Car Sex, Dry Humping, Public Thigh Riding, Face-Sitting, Dirty Dancing, Post-Sex Smoking, Aftercare, Feelings, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Dancing, Protective Javier Peña, Jealous Javier Peña, Getting Tipsy With Javier, Javier In Grey Sweatpants, Alcohol, Small Towns, Food, Road Trips, Post-Canon, Face-Fucking, Breeding, Rimming, Anal Play, Romantic Comedy, Cockwarming, Grief/Mourning, past relationship trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Horseback Riding, Love Confessions, Miscommunication, Arguing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Period-Typical Sexism, Canon Typical Drug Talk, Nude Photos, Overstimulation, Dysfunctional Family
Just Dumb Enough to Try by @whatsnewalycat | 108k
Summary: In 1993, you met Javier Peña in San Antonio. You made an emotional and physical connection with him. Now it’s 1998 and you’re starting a new chapter of life in Laredo with your fiancé. And who else walks back into the picture, but the man who left you high and dry five years ago.
Tags: alcohol use, Binge Drinking, Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Cigarettes, Voyeurism, Smut, Bisexual main character, Touch-Starved, Female Masturbation, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Flirting, Mutual Pining, Cheating, Infidelity, Sexual Tension, Attempt at Humor, Soft Javier Peña, Movie Nerd Shit, use of daddy in a sexual context, Vulnerable Javier Peña, Angst and Feels, Family Issues, Mostly Post Season 3, Existential Crisis, Banter, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, friends to lovers to friends to lovers, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Humor, Oral Sex, Slow Burn, No beta idk I just got here, Fluff and Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Impact Play, Pain Kink, Domestic Violence, Praise Kink, Unplanned Pregnancy, Breeding Kink, Blood and Violence, Mild Gore, Kidnapping
Joel Miller
Feelings on Fire by @joelscruff | 110k
Summary: Back from school for the summer and staying with your devout Catholic parents, you ask Joel Miller to teach you guitar as an act of rebellion. Turns out, there's a lot more that he wants to teach you too...
Tags: Smut, age gap (reader is in her 20s, Joel is in his mid 50s), inexperienced/virgin reader, loss of virginity, corruption, mentions of religion/Catholicism, praise kink, pet names (babygirl, sweetheart, darling), dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected penetrative vaginal sex, creampies, cumplay, oral sex (female and male receiving), exhibitionism, size kink
Lavender by @justagalwhowrites | 253k
Summary: You're a college student in Austin, Texas, who gets a summer job nannying Sarah Miller. It's not long before her dad sees you as more than a babysitter - or more than a friend. But life - and an apocalypse - have other plans.
Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Pre-Canon, Friends to Lovers, Protective Joel, Parent Joel, Joel is Bad at Feelings, Soft Joel, Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, Miscarriage, Sexual Coercion
Closer by @beardedjoel | 193k
Summary: you are staying with your parents, helping them move into their new house in austin. what happens when joel miller, the attractive neighbor you've been eyeing obsessively starts to show you some much wanted attention?
Tags: smut, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), porn with some plot, inexperienced reader, soft!dom joel, boyfriend! joel, possessive! joel, mutual masturbation, rough sex, spanking, creampie, unprotected piv, oral (m + f receiving), dirty talk, overstimulation kink, praise kink, so many pet names it’s not even funny, consensual somnophilia, cockwarming
Yearling by @justagalwhowrites | 186k (as of ch 27)
Summary: After years of surviving in the wilds of Wyoming after the cordyceps outbreak, you find yourself in Jackson. It's a town filled with friendly faces and the kind of world you hardly remember, let alone can connect with or understand. But one man - Joel Miller, another loner, like you - makes you think that trying to find your place in society again might be worth it.
Tags: Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Joel, Parent Joel, Angst, Soft Joel, Smut, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Past Sexual Abuse, Friends to Lovers
Hot and Heavy by @tieronecrush | 130k
Summary: Over the course of three summers, Joel Miller has become woven into the fabric of your life. You nanny his daughter, sneaking around in an illicit love affair. You keep coming home, and he keeps coming back to you. The last summer, you're home with no plans of leaving—and Joel seeks you out again. What chances do you have?
Tags: Neighbor!Joel, age gap, canon-divergence, no outbreak, alcohol consumption, mentions of food, pet names (sweetheart), familial and self pressure, reader is in college, nanny!reader, smut
Dave York
Notes on Tutoring by @honestly-shite | 189.9k
Summary: Mr. York becomes your new classical guitar tutor in your final year at music college. A dark, mysterious man, you struggle to get a read on him but that doesn’t stop you from finding many ways to push his buttons.
Tags: Smut, alternate universe, music college, age gap, teacher/student relationship, slow burn, PiV sex, power dynamics, angst, pining, alcohol and drinking
Dieter Bravo
Recovery Road by @chronically-ghosted | 108k
Summary: Dieter Bravo is on his last chance. Six months out of a two year stint in rehab, his marriage on the rocks, and his starlight fading, he reunites with an old director friend on a project that might save his career and his personal life in a single go. Enter Natalie Lorraine, his new enigmatic co-star. Together, they go on to lead a film that comes to define a generation – and are both mysteriously absent the night the film receives an Oscar for Best Picture. Their reasons for missing such a landmark event are their own.
Tags: Smut, age gap (Dieter is 35, reader is 22), drug usage, alcohol, smoking, infidelity, discussions of addiction and withdrawal, toxic relationships, masturbation, pining, angst, anxiety and anxiety attacks, mental illness, bad coping mechanisms, named reader, descriptions of reader's hair, bi!Dieter
Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat | 132.7k
Summary: You’ve recently taken on the customer-facing responsibilities of the small-scale cannabis bakery you and your late husband ran out of your apartment, which introduces you to occasional customer, Dieter Bravo. A friendship is sparked when you realize you have something in common: you’ve both died. What Dieter doesn’t tell you about his near-death experience, though, is that it foretold his life with you.
Tags: Smut (including - alternating power dynamics, consensual unprotected sex, penetrative vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex), gried, alternating point of view, physical descriptions of OFC (including - tattoos, scars, being lifted by Dieter), drug use (including - smoking cannabis and consuming edibles, dropping acid, drinking alcohol, cocaine and morphine use), substance abuse, addiction, fame & paparazzi, canon divergent, suicidal thoughts and planning, divorce, near-death experiences, Bi4Bi romance, supernatural elements, ghosts and psychomanteums, spirituality, drag performance, long-distance relationship, friends to lovers dynamic, OFC is infertile, familial and relationship trauma - please refer to chapters for all warnings.
For the Love of Horror by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist | 80 chapters
Summary: Dieter meets and falls in love with someone who absolutely loves horror films. The problem is, he's a big scaredy cat!
Tags: loose fit series, series of one shots and drabbles, tags on each chapter
Oberyn Martell
In Name Only by @forever-rogue | 21 chapters
Summary: Reader, the only daughter of late Lord and Lady Beesbury, is sent off to be married to Prince Oberyn Martell. After having been parted from her first love by her horrid mother, she refuses to marry a man she does not know or love and be pushed into a life of misery. But after threat of being cut off from everything she knew and loved, she finds herself leaving her home in Honeyholt and arriving in Sunspear, married to the Prince. Being the charming and kind Prince he is, Oberyn promises her that it does not have to be a true marriage, it can be a marriage in name only. Little does the newly anointed Lady Martell know, that being married to the Prince is so much more than she bargained for.
Tags: Smut, language, fluff, kissing, period-typical misogyny, angst, sensual touching, mentions of violence and injury, discussions of pregnancy, mentions of death
Jack "Whiskey" Daniels
Down the Rabbit-Hole by @absurdthirst, @wardenparker | 208k
Summary: When Jack accidentally shoots a civilian on a mission he takes on not only the guilt of the man’s death, but inherits his soulmate as well. To you, it’s a dream job with more perks than you can imagine - but for Jack it’s a nightmarish complication. Even more so when he starts to develop feelings.
Tags: mentions of deceased spouse, a lot of food and alcohol consumption, family recipes, age gap, cursing, Canon typical violence, Death, gun use, angst, Jack has a temper and Tequila has a dumb first name, Making Out, a bit of groping, heavy flirting, sexy shower time, a whole truck load of anger, Fisticuffs, a bunch of angry people being upset with each other, Kidnapping, Torture, burning victim with cigarettes, Broken Bones, a whole lot of gun pointing and talk about murder, medicine by injection, oral sex (f and m receiving), Outdoor Sex, Public Sex, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Sex, Cream Pie, Cum Play, Anxiety, Accidental Hurt, panic attack (symptoms based on my own personal experiences), intrusive/racing thoughts, physical symptoms of anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Guilt, Possible Unwanted Pregnancy, Lies, Nausea/Illness, Talk of Abortion, canon typical injuries, Family Planning, Mentions of Sex Toys, Lingerie, Spanking, rough sex, Flirty and somewhat explicit banter, Pregnancy, Discussion of symptoms, Mood Swings, cemetery/deceased loved ones, speaking to deceased loved ones
Pedro Across The Street (Calls)
Good. Things. Take. Time. by @oonajaeadira | 22 chapters
Summary: PATS is a massage therapist with special services. Or so he claims. He gives you a three-hour session you’re both going to enjoy.
Tags: Explicit marathon wall to wall smut, masseuse!PATS, sex worker!PATS.
Din Djarin x Joel Miller
Cosmic Oddities by fromthewhales (AO3) | 106k
Summary: Turning a clan of two into a clan of four and asking the very important, albeit unhinged question: What if space dad and apocalypse dad were Weird About Each Other?
Tags: parental bonding, parallels, angst, everyone has issues, everyone needs a hug, touch starved din djarin, injuries, strangers to ??? to lovers, smashing the space western and the zombie western together like 2 ken dolls, trauma, crack-fic adjacent at times, hurt/comfort, soft not super explicit smut, self harm, found family, din djarin eventually removes the helmet, blindfold, long distance relationship, survivors guilt, angst with a happy ending, non sexual intimacy, it gets worse before it gets better, alcohol mention, game II canon divergent — but boy does it come close, canon typical violence, minor character death, major character injury, bi!din djarin, bi!joel miller
Various
The Infinity Cube by @littlemisspascal | 20 chapters
Summary: When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?
Tags: language, fluff, angst
#fic recs#the spreadsheet digest#fanfiction recommendations#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfiction#ppcu fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfiction#the spreadsheet outtakes#outtakes
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When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 4)
Joel Miller x FEM! Reader
A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the third episode (and more to come). This is a day late, watched episode 5 last night for the first time and I needed a moment oh my god. I was barely ready to write about episode 3, now I have to look forward to episode 5. I am already in tears over it.
WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's. Major character deaths. DISCLAIMER NO CHARACTERS/GIFS/PICS USED ARE MINE.
Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.
Prev. Chapter
Moving on was often easier said than done.
You don’t know how long you walked before finally resting. However, once you did your very bones felt like cement bricks weighing you down. You weren’t as young as you were before everything went to shit, you’ve lost too much to have that kind of energy anyways.
Tess.
There were times during the walk where you almost turned to look for Tess only to remind yourself of the fiery inferno that you had just left behind. You looked at Joel, who sat next to the bank of the stream alone in front of you. He was silent, which didn’t surprise you. He didn’t talk for days after Sarah died, he didn’t eat, he hardly slept, he would only look ahead like he was now. But you looked behind you to see Joel's coat draped over Ellie, it practically engulfed her small frame. You hoped she didn’t blame herself, it wasn’t her fault and you knew that.
You blamed yourself though, you should’ve said something sooner. You shouldn’t have had her tackle the clicker, you should’ve just shot it, this was all your fault.
You look up and blink away the tears that were forming, no, this was not the time for this. You loved Tess, but you all knew what you were getting into and what the risks were leaving the QZ. You just hoped she found peace, in those final moments and now. You hoped she was somewhere quiet and with her son.
You decided to busy yourself, you grabbed the empty water bottles with the intention of filling them up by the stream. You knelt down on the damp stones, near where the water brushes and began examining it. You thanked the stars that your uncles taught you how to look for clean water. You grabbed some of the cool water, checking for any cloudiness or suspicious debris, once that checked out you moved on to step two and smelled it checking for any unnatural odor, the only thing you smelled was the pine from the trees and the crispness of the air. You proceeded to unscrew the water bottles and fill them up, you tried to busy your mind with your surroundings as you did. Trying not to think about Tess, or Joel, or Ellie, or everyone else that you lost. Your mind took in the scent of the pine and the crispness of the air despite the clear skies. Winter was going to come early, you could tell.
After you had finished filling everyone's cantines you started back only to pause by a tree. It faced the stream and its branches filtered the light of the sun. You stayed there a moment and picked at the bark, it was soft enough to etch in. You set down the containers and grabbed the knife you always kept with you and etched Tess’s name into the bark. Deep enough for it to remain for a long time. People don’t have graves anymore, at least, not the typical ones with stones, so you hoped that the tree would suffice. Tess’s body might not be under that tree, but her name was. And maybe that was all that mattered.
You took in a deep breath, taking in one last look at her name before grabbing the water bottles and walking back where Ellie and Joel were. They didn’t need to know about the tree, and if you knew Joel as well as you think you did, you were sure that he had already made a grave for Tess himself.
You gave Ellie her container, she said a silent thank you as she grabbed it, you nodded at her before going to give Joel his. He accepted it wordlessly, grunting instead.
“So,” you start as you take a sip of the cool water before putting the cantine in your bag, “where are we taking her?”
“Bill and Franks,” Joel doesn’t look at you as he answers, “they’ll take care of her there.”
You couldn’t argue with that, you were meaning to visit them soon anyways. Bill was overdue for a checkup and you wanted to see how Frank’s condition was progressing. There was no cure for it, even before the outbreak, but maybe it had slowed.
But that was unlikely.
“It should only be a four, maybe three hour walk from here.” You gave a generalized guess as you leaned against the tree across from Joel who still wouldn’t look at you.
“It’ll be five,” Joel corrected, “we’re going to stay here for another ten minutes before we start walking again. If everything works out right we’ll be at Bill and Franks before nightfall.” you nod as you sit on the base of the tree as you wait, listening to the sound of birds as you take the piece of ration jerky that Joel offers you with a small thanks. Munching on the dry, flavorless piece of meat before handing the rest to Ellie.
“I’ve never been in the woods before,” Ellie says, breaking the silence, “more bugs than I thought there would be.”
You hum in acknowledgement while Joel says silent, you lean your head against the bark of the tree but you don’t dare close your eyes. You watch the light filter through the branches instead. An uncomfortable silence follows briefly before it’s broken once again.
“Look I’ve been thinking abou-”
“I don’t want your sorries,” Joel interrupted, grabbing his bag and swinging around his shoulders.
“I wasn’t gonna say I’m sorry,” Ellie says with an edge to her voice, her gaze at Joel unwavering, “I was gonna say that I’ve been thinking about what happened. Nobody made you guys or Tess take me, Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever and you made a choice.” Joel stood silently as Ellie continued, “So don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault.”
When she talked like that it was hard to remember that Ellie was a 14 year old girl. When you were 14 years old you were going through a horse phase and dreamt of those men you would see on your mom’s soap operas. That was an entire lifetime ago, in a world that was a little kinder than the one you were living in now, a little more forgiving. Ellie had never known such a world, she’s had to fight every single day she’s been in it and that panged you deep in your soul, in a place that only time could hurt.
“None of it was your fault.” You said and Ellie turned to you, “We all knew what the risks were.” you got up from where you sat, some joints popping in the process, you turned to look at Joel, his eyes looked at you for a second before turning to the girl, you did the same thing, you walked over to her and gave her a hand, “the only thing we can do now is move on.” Ellie waited before accepting your hand, careful not to dirty Joel’s jacket as she stood. The words you say hang in the air as Ellie reaches the hand holding the jacket out to Joel, who accepts it wordlessly. The tension from earlier dissipates as you all begin walking towards the abandoned station.
Along the way Ellie would point out a certain tree or pick up a small trinket whether that would be a feather or a really cool looking rock. You engaged her some, answering some of her questions, taking a break over the bridge to just throw random junk you found in the water with her, just to watch it ripple. Even Joel would engage her, answering a few questions here and there, telling her a few survival things. But he didn’t say much other than that, you knew he was just distancing himself, not growing attached which was the smart thing to do and if you were smart you would do the same thing.
But you didn’t always do the smart thing.
Once you reached a clear trail you followed it a-ways, careful to keep a hand steady on your handgun and checking for any odd things. Like a random ribbon tied to a branch, or fresh tire marks. Anything that might indicate other people, you weren’t so much worried for clickers as you were about raiders and looters.
“So,” Ellie began as she walked a hand on the strap of her bag, “have you guys gone this way a lot?” you and Joel both nodded, “no infected?”
“Not often,” Joel assured, “no.”
“Then what are you looking out for?”
“People.” Joel answered, You saw Ellie pick up the pace so that her steps matched his. You could tell Ellie liked Joel, despite his gruff and otherwise pretty intimidating personality.
“Are Bill and Frank nice?” Ellie asks, her head turning to Joel.
“Frank is.”
Frank was nice, you didn’t get to meet him until you accompanied Joel the next time he went there to give that wire to Bill, but he treated you like an old friend. You even made it a point to try to grab art supplies while you were out to give him, usually it was new brushes or supplies to make canvases. Bill on the other hand reminded you of Joel. Gruff and intimidating on the outside, but you get past the harder exterior is just a man who's lost a lot, and is willing to do anything for the people he cares about.
Sometimes you wonder if you even made it on that small list to Joel.
“How’d you get that scar on your head?” You’ve come to understand in the limited time you’ve had with her that Ellie was naturally curious and asked a lot of questions. You look at Joel a moment, examining his features. He was attractive, not by post-outbreak standards but before then. You remember seeing him for the first time in years the night of the outbreak, when his hair was still dark and his tanned skin still retained some youthful glow. But even as cruel times have been, the grays in his hair and stubble made him look more distinguished in a way, his skin the lines that indicated his age were small and suited him along with the scars. You don’t know if you could say that for yourself, but at least you were getting older you reasoned. That meant that you were still alive.
You looked at that particular scar and remembered fixing it up. It needed stitches but you were low on supplies, so you used superglue instead. That was something you learned to do when you were around ten, you had cut open your leg pretty bad and it needed stitches. But money was tight and medical insurance was a luxury many couldn’t afford, so your mom superglued it instead. It was painful but pain can sometimes give way to learning valuable things, even when it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
“I was the one to patch that up I think,” you commented walking side by side on the road with Ellie and Joel, “used the last of that superglue tube on it.” You resist the urge to trace the scar with your fingers, Joel wasn’t a touchy person and you couldn’t blame him.
“You super glued it?” Ellie asked quizzically.
“Yeah,” you confirmed, “I learned that trick from my mom.” You saw one of her eyebrows lift as her face contorted to an even more puzzled look.
“Wasn’t there like, actual hospitals when you grew up? Like doctors and nurses and medicine and all the stuff a hospital has?”
“Yeah,” You sighed, “but we couldn’t afford medical insurance, and without insurance the hospital bill would’ve cost us a small fortune that we didn’t have.” You see her face get even more confused, which you couldn’t blame her. One of the small blessings that came with the outbreak was that medical insurance was extinct, so if you managed to find a doctor and got treated, it wouldn’t come at the cost of a kidney or half a lung.
“Well that sounds stupid,” Ellie states before turning back to Joel, “anyways, did you get it by falling down stairs or something embarrassing like that? Please tell me it was something embarrassing!”
“I didn’t fall down any stairs,” Joel answered shortly, clearly not wanting to elaborate.
“Okay, so what then?” She persisted. You could hear Joel sigh in defeat as he gave an answer
“Someone shot at me and they missed,” Joel brushed off.
“See that’s cool!” Ellie exclaimed, it wasn’t so cool then. You were there that night, it left a few scars on you too. You remember him not looking afraid, even as you patched him up. But you remember his hands trembling though, he tried to hide it but then again he never could hide much from you. “You shoot back?”
“Yeah”
“You get him?”
“No I missed too,” Joel says, “that happens more than you think.”
“Cause you suck at shooting or just in general?” You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you. That was something Bill would say, has said before actually. You see Joel turn his head to you with a deadpan glare as you pretend to clear your throat, poorly covering up the previous sound. He rolled his eyes before returning his glare to the brunette beside him.
“I’m not even going to respond to that.” Joel said, returning his gaze to the road ahead.
“Isn’t saying that responding?”
You smile as Joel gives her the side eye before quickening his pace, you decide to hang back with Ellie instead of catching up with Joel. You walk in silence for a few steps, pretending not to notice Ellie’s gaze on the gun in your hand.
“So,” Ellie drawls, “since it’s just the three of us-”
“In your dreams,” You don’t even look at her but you just know she’s rolling her eyes.
You walk a little further until you walk around the fallen telephone line and see the familiar faded sign that reads “Cumberland Farms”. It had seen better days, with its ivy-covered walls and boarded windows, but it was safe and it held supplies that Joel, Tess, and you had stored up over the years. Even Tommy stored things here from time to time. Though, you guess, Tommy already grabbed whatever he had left behind.
“Hang back a minute,” Joel instructed, “gotta grab some stuff I stashed.”
“Stashed?” Ellie questioned looking at the rundown building apprehensively, “why do you have stuff stashed here?”
“You ask a lot of goddamn questions,” Joel pointed out.
“Yes I do.”
You and Ellie followed Joel through the door. Anything that was worth anything had already been cleaned out, now what remains was mostly bare walls and empty shelves and one lone arcade machine that had long since been out of order.
“To answer your question,” You started as Joel took a quick survey around the place, “we stash things on routes in case we find ourselves low on ammo or gear.”
“Which we currently are.” Joel added as he lowered his gun to walk towards the stash. However he didn’t get more than two steps in before you heard Ellie take in a breath.
“No Way!” She exclaimed as she made her way to the old arcade game turning her head to you guys for a moment, excitement in her eyes, “you guys ever play this?”
“Not really, no” You answered, watching how she fiddled with the joysticks and buttons.
“I had a friend who knew all about this game-” As Ellie continued to play with the controls despite nothing happening and talked about the game, you noticed Joel moving things out of the way searching for the stash.
“You ok there Joel?” You asked.
“Peachy,” Joel lied, “just looking for the stash.”
“You do know where the stash is right?” You asked skeptically, watching as he continued his search.
“It’s here,” Joel confirmed a low groan escaping him, “I just forgot where I put it.”
“Why isn’t it over where it usually is?”
“Because I moved it.” Joel stated as he continued to search
“Why did you move it?”
“Cause I did ok?” Joel responded, pausing his search to turn to you, his hands resting on his hips with his one leg out and that crinkle in between his brows that he gets when he’s frustrated and oh god FOCUS!
“That doesn’t explain why-”
“Look I know it’s here, I just-”
“You guys sound like an old married couple.” Ellie remarked, at some point she stopped talking nonstop about the arcade game and turned her attention to you two, who were bickering back and forth.
“We’re not a couple!” You exclaimed
“We’re not old!” Joel said.
You and Joel looked at each other for a moment, both saying different things at the same time, before returning your mutual glares at the small teenager in front of you, whose hands were held up in surrender.
“I only said you sound like an old married couple, not that you were.” Ellie then walked away from the arcade game she had been fixated on earlier. “I’m just gonna take a look around and see if there’s anything good.” but before she disappeared behind a door that led to a worn down break room. She turned back to look at Joel.
“Anything bad in here?”
“Just you.” he replied as he refused to look at you. Ellie scoffs a silent ‘ah, getting funnier” before finally disappearing behind the broken down doorway.
An awkward silence fills the space between you and Joel for a moment before he continues zeroing in on where he put the spare supplies. You take advantage of his avoiding gaze to look at him, to study how his shoulders moved with his breathing and one peppered curl hung in front of his forehead, you watched as the small streams of light bled through cracks of the boards and caught him in it. You stayed like that a second before you began to move as well.
“I’m gonna go keep and eye on-”
“You go do that.”
As you walked towards the door you heard something rattle only for a silent ‘fuck’ escape his lips. You walk in on her kneeling to the ground, finding a trap door you discovered your first time here a couple years ago.
“It’s been picked over already,” you said as you walked to stand by her, there had been a few cans and a box of tampons, which you quickly made sure to put in your pack. There also had been a clicker, but it had been trapped, an easy kill. A merciful kill.
“Still,” Ellie said standing up and brushing the dust and dirt off her knees, “would’ve been interesting to see what was down there.”
“Trust me,” you said, “nothing interesting.” for a moment you thank god that Ellie wasn’t going to mention what had transpired back the-
“So what’s going on between you and Joel?”
Thanks rescinded.
“What do you mean?” You ask obliviously, hoping she would get the hint of you not wanting to talk about it. Only to see her eyes roll, goddamn this girl does that a lot, and letting out a soft scoff.
“Yeah ok.” She says as she casually kicks some of the trash and debris, “denial is a river in Mississippi, and you are clearly swimming in it.” You furrow your brows as you grow slightly concerned over what FEDRA considered education.
“It’s actually a river in Egypt.” You corrected, crossing your arms, “and besides it’s not denial…and it’s also not your business.”
“I’m just saying,” Ellie says, looking at you, “I didn’t hear him deny you two being a couple.” You watched as she made fake kissy faces, clearly trying to invoke a reaction out of you, a rise maybe. You let out a long sigh, she technically wasn’t wrong. But Joel doesn’t look at you that way, the only time you saw him looking at someone in that way was Tess; and now Tess is gone and the pain of that loss was still fresh. An open, bleeding wound, one you couldn’t fix with a tube of superglue or a bandage. And even if it wasn’t, Joel would never look at you that way so why hope?
“And what about you?” You questioned.
“What about me?”
“About that ‘friend’ of yours you were talking about back there,” one eyebrow raised as you saw a slight flush on her cheeks, “the one who knew all about that game back there.”
“She’s just a friend,” Ellie quickly says before a somber tone enters her eyes which turns to the floor below, “was just a friend.” You regret bringing it up. You saw how dramatically her body language changed, how she played with the loose string on her long sleeve, and she herself leaned against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” you say, not knowing what else to do, “I’m sure she was pretty cool.”
“Yeah,” Ellie confirms, brushing some flyaways from her face, “she was.” She turned her eyes to you, a nervous expression rested on her face, like she was contemplating asking something before she went ahead and asked anyway. “Have you ever lost someone?”
“I’ve lost plenty,” you said.
“Have you ever lost someone you liked?” Ellie asked, “someone you loved.”
You knew what she meant by that, by someone you loved.
“Yeah,” you said, “I have.”
“Who?”
“My husband,” you admitted, “he died a year or two before the outbreak.”
“How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Move on.”
Those two words hung there between you, you tried to think about him at least once a day. Sometimes you would go a day or two and he didn’t cross your mind but then something would happen or you would see something that reminded you of him and there he would be. His face had long since blurred to you but you still remember small things, like his smile or the way he smelled. But time did funny things, he died before things went to shit and for that you were oddly thankful. He was a kind soul, and you would’ve hated to see what this world would’ve turned him into.
“I don’t think you ever really do,” you admit, “but time has a funny way of doing things. I can’t remember his face but I remember that I loved him and that he was kind. Maybe that’s enough.” you confided, “Let time do its thing, it’s gonna hurt in the beginning, but some odd years down the line it’ll hurt less and less until one day you’ll think of them and smile. Knowing that while you can’t remember some things, you do remember what was important.”
You pretended not to notice her wiping the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, but you returned the sad smile she gave you with one of her own.
“Thanks,” Ellie said, “and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about your loss.”
“Thank you.” there was silence between you, it wasn’t uncomfortable or strained. It was peaceful, one of understanding. However it didn’t last long, you must have been too quiet for too long since you heard Joel’s voice call out.
“Doc?” Joel called, “Ellie?”
“C’mon kiddo,” you say as you both move from your respective places and head towards Joel.
“You’re not gonna talk about this with Joel or anything right?” Ellie asked, still picking at the end of her sleeve.
“No,” You assure her, “besides girl talk stays between us girls alright?” you gave her a mischievous wink as you saw her smile and let out a small laugh.
“Yeah,” she sighed, “girl talk.”
Joel was there at the door as you both exited the break room, seemingly tense.
“At ease Joel it’s just us,” you said, the previous awkwardness disappearing between you two.
“You were quiet,” Joel says, “you’re almost never quiet.”
“I’m plenty quiet.”
“You are,” Joel says before turning to the brunette beside you, “her on the other hand.” You laughed as Ellie gave him a half hearted ha ha before her attention turned to the opened container in the first aisle.
“See you found it.”
“Told you it was here.”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you walked towards the supplies to reload on ammo and a few other things. There wasn’t much, but it was better that way. There were a few different places that you stored supplies along the usual routes, so your supplies were scattered but at least that means that if someone were to stumble upon the stash. You would take less of a hit than say if you put all the supplies in one place and someone just so happened to stumble upon everything and take it.
“Did you reload?” You asked as you put your gun in your back pocket, newly reloaded.
“Yeah,” Joel confirmed as he closed the box and settled it back in its place under the floor.. You had to admit, this was a better hiding place for it than behind the fake wall where it was previously. Not that you would actually admit this out loud to him.
“What are you doing?” Ellie asks as she sees Joel lower the large gun that was previously strapped to him in the ground with it.
“There’s not much ammo out there for this kind of gun,” Joel explained, “makes it mostly useless.”
“Well,” Ellie drawled, you already knew where this was going, “if you’re not-”
“In your dreams kiddo.” You said before she could any further before finally placing the fake floor board above the box and gun. You heard her huff but paid no mind to it as you made sure it was sealed. After that you and the rest of the group grabbed your bags and left.
Not knowing if you would ever see this place again.
#x reader#x reader smut#x reader angst#joel x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller#last of us#the last of us spoilers#the last of us hbo#hbo the last of us#the last of us#tlous hbo#tlou x reader#tlou season 1#tlou smut#tlou show#tlou hbo#tlouedit#tlou fanfiction#tlou angst#angsty#ellie tlou#lgbt pride#tlou joel#pedro pascal is daddy#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal
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[SPOILERS FOR TLOU PT2]
so i was listening to "the other side" by ruelle and "wait for it" by leslie odom jr. and had this depressing thought regarding that maybe bonus scene of "if the door wasn't shut" series but like- what if it was reader who abby kills instead of joel? hear me out but- joel killed her father right? and probably made her go through sm pain and grief right? so what if somehow she finds out how much reader means to joel.
"did we ever see it coming?
will we ever let it go?"
and blinded by her need for revenge, she 🏌️ the reader instead, wanting joel to feel the same pain and grief she feels and twists the knife even deeper saying that her death is on him. the reader who didn't even go with them and had no idea what even happened in that hospital and absolutely had no part of it was killed because of him. that her death will be on his conscience. she was just someone who was caught in the crossfire because of her relations with joel and ellie.
"i don't want to lose part of me,
will i recover?"
and joel, ellie, and tommy just watches her get 🏌️ by abby. i'm- IMAGINE THE PAIN TOMMY AND MARIA WILL GO THROUGH 😭😭😭😭 reader whom they basically raised as their own just gets killed just like that 😭 maria gonna lose another child 😭 AND READER'S SHOP IS JUST BURIED IN FLOWERS 😭😭😭
"i don't want to know what it's like to live without you,
don't want to know the other side of a world without you."
what's even more depressing is that she's still young and still had a life ahead of her and it's just cut short because the world is cruel just like that. (especially in the tlou universe cough)
"death doesn't discriminate,
between the sinners and the saints,
it takes and it takes and it takes."
and joel just breaking and wondering why he's still when so many people that he has know and cared and loved has left him (i'm going for the sarah's mom left route and tommy leaving joel to join the fireflies) or died (sarah, tess, bill, frank, sam, henry, and now reader) AND WHAT IF THEY JUST MADE UP TOO?!?! I CAN'T- 😭😭😭
"(and we keep living anyway),
we rise (and we fall),
we fall (and we break),
(and we make our mistakes),
and if there's a reason i'm still alive,
when so many have died."
might go back to this if ive thought of even more but for now i'm ending this here and gonna cry about it 😭😭
THE LAST OF US PART 2 SPOILERS!
howl you have HURT me with this one. so badly. my heart hurts. i’m gonna add my thoughts hope this is ok <3
FIRST. LETS TALK ABOUT THE SONGS. especially the other side by ruelle?? HELLO??? “i don’t want to leave here without you” …. stop it. i’m in so much pain. “i don’t want to know what it’s like to live without you” SCREAMING. this hurts me so much and it fits for all of the characters AND AND “i don’t want to know who we are without each other” i cant do this today howl i really cant. it’s interchangeable between the scenarios as well i-
“and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died” stop. i’m gonna cry and shout and sob and yell.
lets think about this scenario, shall we?
warning: graphic content, death, weapons, blood, canon-typical, grief, aftermath of r dying. you should know what’s happened if you’ve come past the keep reading thingy. pls read at your own risk <3 its not written as a proper fic/drabble (although there’s an idea) but still, be careful of the content you consume !!!!
lets say that reader and jesse were partnered up to take joel and tommy off of patrol. lets say that reader is fucking terrified when the miller bros don’t show up. lets say that jesse agrees to go and find dina and ellie while reader goes ahead to look for joel and tommy, fearing the worst.
lets say reader hears that gunshot, and rushes in, guns blazing. lets say she shoots owen in the shoulder when she pushes the door open, because he’s the first person she sees. lets say manny takes her down, gets her gun off of her, while joel is yelling as he realises who it is.
lets say joel is yelling, “get your hands off of her” and “don’t you touch her” while the others hold him down, tommy already knocked flat out. lets say abby is stood there, looking between you baring your teeth as you’re held down by manny and joel yelling for you. lets say she’s angry, she’s angrier than she’s ever been. lets say that she looks at you and sees herself, and she looks to joel only to see what he took from her.
lets say reader is looking at joel, at his leg that’s almost beyond saving, lets say reader is praying that jesse, dina and ellie are quick. she’s sure that if they got here soon, the four of you could get the upper hand. joel would be okay, if only the others were quick.
lets say abby looks at joel one more time, and spits “move him”, and she looks to reader while the others pull joel away, while he’s kicking and screaming the whole way.
lets say they pull reader over towards the wall, all looking at abby nervously.
lets say when she swings at reader’s head the first time, she’s still struggling, looking over to joel as one of the group hits him across the head with their gun. lets say the second time, she goes down, and they don’t need to hold reader against the wall anymore.
“don’t,” reader would say, “please, i-” lets say abby hitting her again would cut anything else off, and some of the group have to rush to the door when it opens, and reader blinks bleary eyes over to see ellie, and almost sighs with relief until she’s taken down.
lets say reader waits, vision swimming, to hear or maybe see jesse and dina come through the doorway, guns blazing. lets say reader tries not to cry when they don’t come.
“stop it! she had nothing to do with this” ellie would say, despite not knowing why the group was here, why they were doing this. “i’ll kill you, i’ll fucking kill you! stop,” she would be begging, pleading, as they hold her head against the floor, lets say she’d try and pull away, try and get to reader as abby would swing again.
lets say joel hears ellie scream as he starts to wake up, his first and only image being reader with her face covered in blood and- they hit him across the head again, and he’s out.
lets say jesse and dina come, and dina almost doesn’t shout for jesse to come down. lets say jesse almost passes out when he pushes the wooden door open. lets say that he shouts, and he’s on his knees beside reader in a second, not touching, hands just hovering, and lets say he doesn’t know what to do. lets say he holds in his tears as he turns to where tommy is blinking into consciousness. lets say he blocks the man’s view of you until he’s pushed aside.
lets not say how joel is unresponsive when he wakes up, even though dina had pulled a sheet to cover the sight in front of him, lets not say that none of them can get him to speak even when they pull him up, on his half-fucked leg, tourniquet wrapped around his thigh from the very group who had-
here’s what we shouldn’t think about this situation!
lets not think about tommy having to go home to maria, to his son, and look her in the face to tell her what happened. lets not think about maria demanding to see reader, demanding for someone to tell her it’s not fucking true.
lets not think about how joel can’t be there when reader is buried, stuck in the infirmary, because he’s alive. he’s alive and reader isn’t. lets not think about that.
lets not think about how jesse would blame himself, would never forgive himself for letting her go searching alone, how he would carry that blame forever.
lets not think about ellie sitting in reader’s shop, looking at the clay reader had set out that morning, ready for when she’d be home later on in the evening. lets not think about all the flowers that would be laying outside of the shop, obscuring ellie’s view out of the windows.
lets not think about tommy leaving maria when she needed him most.
lets not think about ellie and dina going after him.
lets not think about joel, finally being let out of the infirmary, heading back to Rancher Street, not knowing what else to do. lets not think about joel being completely despondent, about him finding the mug that reader had made sat on the counter from the coffee he’d had in it just before he had gone on patrol.
lets not think about joel finding out his whole family has gone to avenge reader, when its his fault she’s gone. lets not think about him limping to the stables, demanding to go after them. lets not think about jesse helping him sneak away.
lets not think actually.
(i could add more to this. expand on other things that could happen in this situation. but. i’m sad. i will if yall want tho >:])
#heartpascal says#tlou part 2 spoilers#tlou part 2#tlou2 spoilers#the last of us part 2 spoilers#the last of us part ii spoilers#the last of us part two spoilers#the last of us 2 spoilers#tlou part two spoilers#tlou part ii spoilers#tlou part two#tlou2#can you tell i’m trying to be thorough#PLEASE#howl <3#tlou 2 spoilers#tlou 2#tlou spoilers#the last of us spoilers
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Hi :3 If you're still doing the character ask game, may I request 4, 5, 19, 24, & 25 for Charles? Thank <3
Hello! I am still doing them!
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
Hmmm I don't know!! I would put him in Boston Legal as a client involved in a lawsuit over something ridiculous just because DOS's humor would have been perfect on that show.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
Where's the Orchestra by Billy Joel. This was my most inspired song choice. It's all about getting to this point in your life where you've achieved something and thinking "this is it?" and the metaphor it uses is an orchestra. To quote the man himself, "life isn't a musical, it's a Greek tragedy." (No I do not think Billy Joel was okay when he wrote this song, it was the last song he wrote for an album that he said he felt as if he'd died when he finished it.) Where's the orchestra? Dead, perhaps? Charles's whole goodbye dinner speech in GFA just tracks to this song so well.
youtube
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
If I could delete the Charles/Margaret ship tease from season 6 I would. I wouldn't hate it so much if they had ship tease in season 7 after she got divorced. But most of it happens when she's a newlywed and her marriage isn't even on the rocks yet and it just makes absolutely no sense for her after she made such a big deal about breaking up with Frank and staying faithful to Donald! I still don't think I'd ever ship them, but it wouldn't be such a hard no for me if it was handled differently in the show. It felt like they only wrote Charles flirting with her because Frank did, but she'd dumped Frank a whole season before! Some of their later scenes as friends make me understand why people ship them, but I never will because season 6 just poisoned me against it forever.
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
This is not a fandom I'm in per se and it's kind of a limited resemblance but it makes me crazy: in Downton Abbey, Sybil works as a nurse during WWI, and after the war she feels increasingly alienated from her noble family's way of life. She just can't pretend the rich people nonsense matters anymore. And from what we see of Charles in GFA, I think that's going to happen to him. He's exposed to so many things and forced to connect with so many people from different backgrounds, he can't just go back to how he was before. There are also some Charles elements to Josh Lyman, who is not nearly as wealthy but also a high-achiever Harvard legacy from a privileged background who lost a sibling as a child.
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
I didn't like him at first! I mean, I like characters who suck, so I liked him because he was well-acted and funny, but I wasn't invested in him emotionally. I was like wow he's an asshole. I don't always like character who suck right away, either, because if I'm deep in a show I'm thinking about how likable they are, and my love of well-crafted characters who I would loathe as people comes later. Anyway after a couple of seasons suddenly I cared about Charles and I still do! He's a rich asshole who's a caring person deep down to me. I'm not super interested in soft squishy Charles, I like him to kind of suck but have a heart of gold. I haven't been engaging with a lot of Charles stuff because I've been oriented toward the Gelbart seasons more, but because of that when I do see Charles stuff I get to remember how fun he is! I have a soft spot for poor little rich boy characters.
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Ghost of You: Chapter 3
Ellie Miller & Joel Miller
ft. Tommy Miller, Lorenzo and Zach Aleverano
Summary: 16 years after her mom and dad's death, Ellie is finding her place in Jackson, being raised by her Uncle Tommy with the help of her uncle's Lorenzo and Zach. She loves them, but can't help but feel stifled. Soon, she finds out her suspicions were true, and her uncles have been lying to her. Will Ellie learn the truth? Can she trust anyone in this situation?
Takes place after The Wrong Way, but if you havn't read that series (too dark for you, too long, etc) you can read this. Since it's through Ellie's perspective, you can discover the truth alongside her.
DARK FIC! This is a dark!Joel, with canon typical violence and extra on the Joel. Anything discussed or shown in TWW is liable to be discussed here. There will be violence, but no shown sexual violence. Although this Joel is very dark, he is NOT DARK TO ELLIE. None of the things that happened to Ellie's mom are applicable to Ellie, but will be discussed.
Content warnings for entire series, not chapter by chapter unless more is added.
Talk/mentions/discussions of post rape, molestation, torture, violence, branding, forced breeding, major age gap (early 20's to later 40's), death. Child endangerment, major character death, murder, homophobic remarks, minor hate crime, manipulation, identity crisis.
This is longer than I meant it to be (4.5k words), but I needed these three scenes in there and I didn't want to rush. It's hard balancing showing you Ellie's relations with all 3 uncles AND Joel developed and change and shift.
Extra warning for homophobia, and Joel being Joel.
Also some lines/back and forth are directly from the game. I've been watching scenes a lot on youtube to really get the Jackson vibes. Remember, this isn't exactly Ellie we know. She's lead a different life than show/game Ellie, and she's16 so between ages of the games. I did my best to keep Ellie Ellie, but also how might Ellie be different growing up more sheltered.
******************
“So I was thinking, if you think you can get away from Tommy for a few hour, I could meet up with my horse this time, bring you to where I live, if you’d like?”
Joel and Ellie were fishing in their usual spot, a secluded area that Ellie was pretty sure no one was going to outside of patrols; and this was her section.
“Really?” She looked up at Joel from where they both sat, his kind eyes looking down at her, awaiting an answer.
“If you aren’t ready, of course, we don’t gotta. I know it’s kinda a big step but-”
“I’d love to! If I’m gonna take over, I better start learning the land outside of Jackson, huh?”
He smiled at her fondly. “Yeah, it’ll be like bring your daughter to work day.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind, pre-outbreak joke. You can meet some of the guys if you want. If not I’ll tell ‘em to clear out while we’re there.”
Ellie’s eyes lit up. “Really?! Wicked!”
“Careful.” He chuckled. “You’re starting to sound like you’re uncle Lorenzo.”
Two months ago, that would’ve been a compliment.
It took a few weeks to plan, but Ellie managed to trade some thing Joel brought her to Jesse in order for him to take her farming shift for the day. Jesse’s parents didn’t care where he was. After Ellie accidently cut Tommy’s hand, Maria thought it was only fair Ellie pick up the slack for what Tommy was unable to do. Well, unable wasn’t the right word. He had, in fact, tried to go to work as usual but got sent some when his dried wound broke open and bleed all over him. The news, of course, got to Maria who came to see him and found out the extent of the injury. Tommy refused to let Maria make Ellie do his work, not wanting her up on roofs or around heavy machinery, so Lorenzo swapped in for Tommy and Ellie was in charge of Lorenzo’s work for a few weeks while Tommy’s hand healed. He still helped as much as he could, but was frequently sent home with Maria telling him the point of a commun was everyone pitched in to help each other. Ellie found she liked the work, and even after Tommy got permission to work again she began doing agriculture in addition to patrol. It was summer, and she figured she needed to start doing more for the community. If she was going to take over for Joel, the more skills she had the better. She planned on earning her role, not just inheriting it.
Ellie stood at the porch, nervous. Not of Joel, no. She trusted him. Not nervous of the men inside, no. Joel wouldn’t let them do anything to her. No, this is the house. The house. The one she was conceived in, the one Joel took her mom to when he rescued her from Ellie’s grandpa, the one Joel and Uncle Tommy lived in for years before her mom, the one where her mom met Uncle Tommy and Uncle Lorenzo… This is the house she was born in, the house her mom died in. Joel had told her he and the men were gone when it happened, when the infected came. Tommy had found them, Tommy having come to the house for a reason he wouldn’t tell Joel… but he was the one that found the two of them before Joel came home and saw what happened.
“Do you wanna see her first?”
Behind the house is where her mom was buried.
“Please?”
Ellie stared at the grave, a headstone that read her first and middle name followed by Miller. Wife, mother, friend. ‘For they say you are taking the sunshine’ was inscribed on it, song lyrics Ellie knew right away. In the front, near patches of grass and a well worn area for sitting, there were flowers at varying stages of decomposition at the base… Joel brought them a lot, it seems. “Red River Valley” Ellie muttered about the lyrics, choking back tears. She will not cry, she told herself. “That’s uncle Zach’s favorite.”
Joel nodded in understanding. “Your moms too. Learned it on guitar just for her.”
Walking in the house, her chest felt tight, feeling like she may have another panic moment like she did when she first met Joel… all eyes were on her as she walked in, Joel telling them to ‘show some goddamn respect’ to shut them up. Walking in the dining room, however… her worry dissipated. Joel had set up a meal for her. “Figured you’d be hungry. I’m not the best cook, but…”
Thing was, it was good, vegetables and all. Joel even muttered manners after she ripped a large belch at the table. Afterwards, Joel asked if she wanted to see the room. Ellie knew which one.
It was strange, seeing the room she was born in, the room her mom died in. The window had been boarded up, a shitty mattress on the floor, a piano to the right and a few boxes of random things here and there.
“This is where your mom lived when she first came to live with us, before we were married. These are her things. You can look if you want.”
And look she did. Ellie flipped through the items, taking them out and holding them, smelling the clothes, boxes of pretty dresses, a few baby items that they had gotten preparing for her birth, a well-worn deck of cards… With Joel’s permission to explore and a heartsick eye watching her, she touched the things her mom touched, slowly getting a sense of who she was, dust-collected memories strewn about the room as Ellie took in everything she could: comic books that read Star Wars on the cover, a book called Jurassic Park, eventually landing on the piano.
She stood up from the floor of memories she never got to have, approaching the small piano with care and wonder. Zach taught her to appreciate instruments; they were rare, Lorenzo working extra hard and drawing in all his connections to bring Uncle Zach the one he had.
Tentatively, Ellie plucked out a few cords, drawing Joel over to where she stood.
“You play, Ellie June?”
Ellie nodded. “A little. Zach taught me some. I’m not good, but… I know Red River Valley.”
A soft smile spread across his sad face. “I’d love to hear you play, baby girl”
“I’m not singing. Fuck that shit.” She was quick to warn, making Joel chuckle and assure her he could handle that part.
With hesitant hands, she began playing the cords, and to her delight, Joel leaned over the piano as he began singing. He stared at her, intense and seemingly lost in thought. Ellie pulled her eyes away from his to concentrate on the keys. She couldn’t play when he looked at her with such pain…
“From this valley they say you are going…”
When concluded, the tears that glistened in Joel’s eyes were evident; a sharp agony pierced his so deep Ellie wondered how he made it through all these years without them.
“I loved her” His voice croaked.
“I know”
“No, I just…” Joel closed his eyes and shook his head. “I know you know.” When he looked at her again, she was greeted with a soft smile, the kind of smile that warmed her front he sadness that ached for her mom, for him… “I love you both, Ellie June. Very much. Death don’t stop me from loving her.”
Ellie nodded, but was uncomfortable with emotions like that, so she abruptly changed the subject, looking over the box of clothes. “She had a lot of dresses.”
There was that smile again, that fond, wistful smile. “Yeah, it was impractical, really, but she looked so pretty… I brought her back everything I could find, she could usually sew them up to fit.”
She couldn’t remember the last time she wore a dress; Uncle Tommy stopped putting her in them when he realized how much Ellie did not like wearing them, never pressed the issue. Now she was regretting not having anything, just a tad.
“There’s a town dance coming up… I don’t even got a sundress or nothing.”
Joel immediately jumped at the opportunity, striding over to the closet and flipping past them. “You can look through these! They might not be your style, their awfully girlie-” he quickly turned around. “Not that you’re not girlie!”
“I’m not.” She chuckled, and Joel chuckled back. “But won’t uncle Tommy recognize them?”
“Most of them are from after Tommy left- here, what about this one, it’s simple.”
Joel pulled out a dress that would rest right at Ellie’s knees, a collarbone neckline and ¾ sleeves. Simple, not showy.
“It’s really fucking purple” She said, hesitant.
His smile faltered a bit, the excitement in his voice fleeting out as he went to hang it back up. “You’re right, you’re right, maybe there’s something black in here? Or, depending how far away it is I can see what I can get my hands on for you?”
Ellie realized he was trying to connect, trying to make an effort, trying to do dad things with Ellie the way he never could before. She jumped up, quickly grabbing the dress. “It’ll be fun!” She assured. “I don’t really wear dresses anyway, so I’ll be trying all kinds of new stuff.”
Joel’s face lit up with so much bright excitement, she thought he looked 10 years younger. “You tryna impress someone, Ellie June?”
Heat crept up her neck and onto her face. She was, kinda. Dina had made a comment a few weeks ago how pretty another girl, Jess, looked in a dress and Ellie thought about it non-stop for a week. It wasn’t that she was trying to impress Dina, no! That would be silly! But… did she want Dina to think she was pretty too? She wasn’t sure. She had only just learned the truth of her existence. One identity crisis at a time.
Instead of telling her she can’t have a boyfriend, hounding her on who, giving her a talk, Joel simply smiles. “Good. Love is a beautiful thing.” He wanders over to the boxes of items. “You like to read?”
She nodded. “Yeah, when something catches my interest.”
Sifting through the books, Joel found what he was looking for. The book was hefty, nearly the size of a brick, the cover reading ‘Jurassic Park’. He tossed it to her. “Thought you might like this one. Lots of action. The leading lady is named Ellie, I think that’s where your mom got your name.”
Ellie looked at the book. She imagined her mom reading it, flipping through the pages while pregnant with her, as Joel worked long hours to protect his community and have everything Ellie and her mom needed… “What if Uncle Tommy see’s it?”
The bright look on Joel’s face darkened just a bit. “You’re awfully worried about him. He good to you? He take care of you?”
“I mean… yeah.” Although her and Tommy weren’t on speaking terms, she would never say he didn’t take care of her. Hell, every single day there was a plate or a bowl for dinner made up for her in the fridge with a note saying to eat her vegetables. That was all the communication she had other than Ellie shouting the newest lie of where she’d be.
“He don’t hurt you, does he?” Joel’s voice was calm and steady, but there was a deadliness behind it.
Ellie burst out laughing at that, cackling for a while before she looked up at Joel’s confused face. “Sorry” She said through laughs. “I know you’re trying to be protective but-” A few more laughs. “Tommy’s never so much as frowned at me. He couldn't hurt me if he tried.”
“You have no idea what Tommy is capable of.” The warning in his tone was clear. ‘You don’t want to know the things he’s done’ but Ellie just laughed at Joel’s serious act.
“No, no I know,” She giggled. “I’m well aware. He was a raider, and Tommy’s told me he wasn't proud of himself before he came to Jackson” Slowly, Ellie’s laughs settled, but her smile reminded as Jel watched her intently. “But Tommy would never hurt me.” Thinking back on the last 16 years, the years she remembered anyway, thinking about Tommy… the gentle father who showered her in nothing but kindness, understanding, care… Maybe she had judged him too harshly…
Joel’s body language changed, he loosened up again. “Few weeks before I kicked Tommy out, I found bruises on your mom.” He began walking around the room, pacing, avoiding Ellie’s eyes again.
“...What?” The life was sucked out of the room.
“She had some excuse or another, I questioned her if it was Lorenzo, Jack, any of the men… I didn’t even asking if it was Tommy. Never thought he could either.” Joel continued talking as Ellie listened intently, mouth slightly open agap. “When he left, she finally told me. Broke down sob’n about it, broke my damn heart, seeing her like that. Told me Tommy had come onto her.”
Ellie stood in shock at the revelation. All this time, Tommy spoke about her mom with such wonder, such reverence, tere had been times she wondered if he had feelings for her… but Renzo and Zach spoke similarly. She was an innocent, good person who died a tragic death, it was no wonder they held her in high esteem… but love? Or is it lust… What exactly was it he had done?
“Did he… did he tried to…” She couldn’t get the words out. She couldn’t fathom Tommy raping someone… but she was beginning to wonder if the Tommy she knew wasn’t really Tommy at all.
“No” Joel assured before clarifying. “Not that… but… he wanted her to choose him over me.” A slight blush, a shuffle of feet, the smallest sad smile… “This was early on, we were still figure’n things out, you know? I think she might’ve had a crush on him. I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I was gone long hours, leaving her alone with Tommy to protect her, it’s only natural. But she wouldn’t leave me. She said he took her arm, tried to pull her, get her to run away together ‘n shit. She wouldn’t go. She was loyal like that…” There it was again, that wash of sadness, that unbearable pain that Ellie had no idea how he stomached. “He gripped her hard enough she bruised for days…” When his eyes met hers again, there was a flash of anger, something she had yet to see from him. “I’m not say’n he’d hurt you either, I’m just say’n if he does, or he scares you, or you just want to leave for any reason… you have a home here. I’ll take care of you, Ellie June.”
Ellie’s eyes watered, but more importantly, she was focused on her stomach not spilling over in disgust. This was the nail in the coffin. Not only was her entire life a lie, but the man she had loved most in this world was no longer a safe person, no longer a good person, no longer her dad.
The dance was a week later, Ellie stepping out of her room in a dress to see Tommy turn around, mouth agape at the sight of his niece in a dress for the first time in… what? A decade? But Ellie ignored him.
“You look nice” Tommy tried to tell her as she stormed through the hall in the purple dress (a light jean jacket on to offset the purple) “Be safe. I’ll be there in a bit if you want to-” but she was gone before he could finish. Ellie and Tommy always danced together, starting with little Ellie in his arms, then standing on his feet, then slowly learning moves as Tommy swung her around. A year back, Ellie asked why he always danced with her, why he taught her all these fancy moves, and he said it was so Ellie wasn't impressed by “some no good Johnny sidestepping to a slow song. If he loves you, he'll learn how to do the pretzel.”
Ellie had no intention of dancing with Tommy tonight. He joined the town hall as promised a little bit after her carrying the moonshine he was famous for. He used to allow her and Dina some sips here and there if they swore to be responsible… but Ellie was not going to ask. Maybe she could get Jesse to get a cup for them, Tommy wouldn’t know how old Jesse was, right? Ellie couldn’t stand looking at Tommy any more… Over the last week, she had mauled over what Joel had revealed: Tommy taking her, Tommy, Zach and Lorenzo lying, Tommy hurting her mom, trying to take her away from Joel… she was disgusted. The man she knew didn’t exist.
The offer to move in with Joel was on the table, and Ellie was considering it… Only thing is, even if she was furious at Tommy, she was still going to miss her other uncles and her aunts. Jackson was all she knew. Of course, she’d need to move in with Joel eventually if she was going to take over, and sooner is better than later, but besides the obvious of leaving her hometown, there was a huge, glaring reason why Ellie was hesitant to leave, and she was dancing in Ellie’s arms right now.
Dina.
Ellie spoke softly to her friend as they slowly danced… it was that basic side to side that Tommy warned her about, but Dina wasn’t a man. Dina was Dina, just a friend… “Every guy in this room is staring at you right now.”
“Maybe they're staring at you.”
She nodded, but didn’t believe her. Ellie never thought of herself as much to look at. It wasn’t that she was self deprecating, to her, it was just a fact. But That’s okay, she didn’t need to be pretty… well, except to Dina. “They're not.”
“Maybe they're jealous of you.”
“I'm... just a girl. Not a threat.”
“Oh Ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.”
To Ellie’s surprise, Dina went in for a kiss… and to Ellie’s bigger surprise, she reciprocated it. It felt good, so, so good to finally let out that tension, that desire for her friend she’s had for so long… until she felt a strong grip on her shoulder, and she let go of Dina.
“Hey, this is a family event.”
Turning to see Seth, Ellie wanted to back away, to apoligize and leave it alone… but if she was going to lead a group of raiders in protecting a community, she needed to be strong, to be brave, she needed to be the kind of woman Joel thought she was. Although only 5’1, Ellie stood up as tall as she could get and faced off with the old man in front of her. “We weren’t doing anything, Seth.”
Seth glared down at her. “Yeah, you were. We don’t need another goddamn dyke in this town.”
Before Ellie could respond, Seth was ripped off of her, Ellie wobbling forwards as Seth’s grip on her shoulder was yanked away.
“Get your goddamn hands off my daughter!” Tommy shouts, shoving him back and away from Ellie. Zach jumps in, something about ‘Did you fucking hurt her?’ and predictably, Lorenzo isn’t far. Seth has some choice words to say to Renzo and Zach and Ellie knows a few of them are slurs, but in the chaos of the four men and the shock entering her system, she can’t make out much. Maria appears, telling Tommy to settle it, and Tommy calls her uncles away, telling Seth that if he finds him near his ‘child’ ever again, he’s a dead a man, earning a glare from Maria as she ushered Seth away.
Tommy turned to her, attempting to put his hands on her face but Ellie stumbled back in fear. She didn’t trust Tommy anymore.
“Fuck off!” She shouted at the man who had only ever been loving to her, watching his heart shatter in his dark eyes. Lorenzo and Zach’s voices are heard interchangeably trying to calm her down, but Ellie had tunned them out.
“Ellie, I’m sorry” Tommy began. “He had no right-”
“And you do?” She shouted back.
“Elles, what-”
“YOUR LYING TO ME!” It was all but a scream now, echoing off the walls of the dance hall that had now silenced at the scene unfolding before them. “You’re all fucking lying to me!” She referenced her married uncles watching them. “Fuck you!” Running away from them, running past Dina, Ellie took off into Jackson as Lorenzo’s voice called for her, his footsteps keeping after hers for a short while before he stopped. Uncle Renzo had been shot in his torso before she was born, and the old wound showed up in his limited ability to do cardio.
By the time Ellie had made it home, both hers and her uncles houses looked like the had gone to step. Ellie almost made it up the stairs to the porch when she heard Zach’s voice over from his. “Is that what you’ve been hiding?”
Ellie wiped her head around to see him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Zach didn’t move to get up, simple sat in his chair, watching her. He didn’t look made, worried, sad… he just looked like Zach.
“Dina. You guys seeing each other?”
A blush crept up Ellie’s face. “I- I don’t- that was nothing we just-”
“30 years ago, Ren and I wouldn’t have been able to get married, you know that?”
Ellie nodded. She did know that before, men weren’t allowed to marry men, and women weren’t allowed to marry women.
Zach continued, soft and calm as he always was. “You have a blessing here. I ain’t saying you need to fall in love and marry her, but… she treat you right?”
The teared welled up again. Yes, yes Dina absolutely did. “Y-yeah.”
He nodded again. “That’s all I need to know about that, Ellie Bellie. I need you to understand something. What we are- or rather, what me, Ren, June and Maura are… you don’t need to label anything right now. What we are, for thousands of years was something that meant we could be legally killed for and was something people continued to beat and kill us for up until the outbreak. It was only a few years before when a boy in this very state was killed for being gay; just a teenager, about your age. Hell, it happens still, I know, but I think there are so much bigger issues at hand, most people just… begrudgingly accept it. Some people, like Seth, say a few things but he wouldn’t beat you, wouldn’t torture you, wouldn’t see the things I’ve seen…” Zach closed his eyes and shook his head before opening them. He didn’t say a thing about the tears that had finally fallen from Ellie’s face. “I ain’t tryna scare ya, or guilt trip ya. I’m just saying… it’s a beautiful thing to be living somewhere that we don’t gotta hide anymore. And if you are gay, I just… I need you to know, you don’t have to be afraid or ashamed. I love you, very much, so do Lorenzo, June and Maura. And even though you aren’t talking, Tommy would die for your right to love who you love.”
Ellie couldn’t talk. She could betray how much she had been crying in the light of the moon, how much Zach’s words had touched her, how much she was scared of her future. But Zach knew.
He nodded one final time. “Slam the door when you get in so Tommy knows you’re safe.”
It wasn’t long after the dance that things escalated for Ellie. Joel had been walking with her, showing her the rounds as he usually did when he asked if she’d like to take things a step further, if she wanted to see what he really did, the hard parts.
Of course she did. “What do you mean?”
Joel nudged her off their regular path that Ellie was getting to know, and explained. “Got a man, justice that needs to be served. You okay with seeing that?”
Ellie didn’t need to know what kind of justice it was. She trusted Joel, and if he thought the man needed to die, then he needed to die. Soon, she was standing in front of a man with a black bad over his head who was tied up to a tree. By the sounds of his muffled whimpers and cried, he must have been gagged by something. He was afraid, desperately trying to get out of the ties that bound him to the rough trunk that left bleeding scratches on his arms and hands.
Suddenly face to face with the concept, Ellie’s resolve wavered around her. “Joel, I don’t know…” The man paused for a second, listening to her it seemed.
Joel turned to her, his face open but firm. “This is part of the job. You can’t just have others doing the dirty work, we gotta be able to do as we tell others, Ellie June.” When Jole emphasized her name, the man began screaming in hysterics, writhing and thrashing against the tree which only served to disturb Ellie more.
The leaves and sticks beneath her crackled and she shifted her weight to the other foot. “I dunno… do I have to watch?”
His face was grave and serious. “Ellie June, if you don’t think you can do this, you can tell me now. You’ll always be my daughter and I’ll love you and take care of you. You don’t have to take over-”
“No!” Ellie jumped in, trying to ignore the frantic pleas from the man in front of her. “Just… he deserves it, right?”
“Absolutely. I don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it.” Joel talked over the wailing that was growing increasingly hard to ignore. “We don’t tolerate rapists here.”
Ellie gave her consent, and Joel, inturn, gave her earplugs. “Don’t wanna end up deaf like your old man.”
Stepping up to the man, Joel placed the gun up to his bag-covered forehead and fired. To Ellie’s shame, she mostly felt relief that the man stopped screaming, even though it was because the life left his body, head hanging down low as his body slumped forward. Shock was probably the best way to describe her feelings, she was unable to process witnessing her first death… but he deserved it, right? This was good. The man was a rapist. Rapists deserve death, and Joel didn’t tolerate rapists in his communities. This was a good thing. This was a good thing. Joel was a good guy. Joel protected women. Tommy had hurt her mom. Joel protected her mom. This was a good thing.
“What are you doing?” Ellie asked, shaking like a leaf- when did she start shaking? Was she scared? There was no reason to be scared, not of Joel. This was a good thing.
Joel was bent over the man, lifting up his sleeve and doing something Ellie couldn’t see.
“Always take credit for what you do, Ellie June. Never hide in the shadows.”
This was a good thing.
*****************
Ellie's name comes from Jurassic Park bc i fucking said so. I love Jurassic Park, so sue me.
Anway! Lots happening here
Fun fact I was already planning on having Tommy defend Ellie against someone being homophobic and I'm talking to Maura about it, and she, who loves the games and played the second one, goes "you'll never beleive this" turns out theres a scene in the game XD so hey!
All the stuff in little ones rooms made me emo esp the playing cards ;-;
and the irony of Joel saying he doesnt tollerate rapists SIDE EYE
@maura-honey @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @the-fox-den @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @koshkaj-blog @primosworld @miraclesabound @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin
#ghost of you series#the wrong way series#dark!joel miller#joel miller#ellie miller#joel and ellie#tommy and ellie#ellie and joel#dark joel miller#dark!joel#dark tlou#the last of us fanfiction#tommy miller#joel miller fic#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfic#the last of us fic#tlou fic#the wrong way fic#the last of us hbo
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how about caboose for that ask meme 👀
Why I like them: OH boy. Caboose has more depth than people give him credit for.
He's so... him. He's childish and he wants respect (which is fair, bc canon disrespects him a lot) and he's jealous and obsessive and possessive but on the flipside he's upbeat, himself unapologetically, extremely loyal to people he loves and Boy, Is He Full of Love!
Why I don’t: Not his fault but yeah he is like a 'how ableist can we write someone' challenge in canon. He is written so badly in terms of repping neurodivergency and brain damage. The yucky feeling from that is hard to separate sometimes
Favorite episode (scene if movie): I could never.
Favorite season/movie: You can't make me
Favorite line: I could never choose just one, but the 'please put his body down' and 'I know we're gonna be okay' scenes are so good. He holds the helmet because it hurts him with memories. Love with nowhere to go. I have to stop or else I will actually cry
Favorite outfit: Mark V. Helmet FOREVER also I love a halo 3. I think he'd wear an electrician's jumpsuit most of the time if he had to be out of armor bc he likes to fix stuff and that's fire/electricity safety right there!
OTP: No true pairings for him, just things I find cute/fun to think about. Primarily Churboose, Chuckboose, uhhh,,, yeah those 2 things mostly
Brotp: Simmons and Caboose bros... please... also Grif and Caboose.
Head Canon: He is autistic and has brain damage tho half of that's canon. He hates strawberry ice cream bc of the fruit chunks they are Bad Textures he would do the same rant for any fruited ice cream. Also he is biromantic ace and he swears more than he does in canon. OH I'm in the 'Caboose is a huragok/human hybrid experiment' boat with leonardalphachurch as well. LET CABOOSE BE SNARKY AGAIN 2K21 he's just as dickish as everyone else come ON
Unpopular opinion: Caboose could fuck if he so desires, but he does not desires. In the universe where he does desires, Caboose fucks. Also people ignore him being jealous and obsessive a lot what gives? That makes him MORE appealing. Stop woobifying him it's gross lol
Also he's smart. Like obviously he is stupid, all of them are, but he's smart. He knows things. He has shown us he knows things many fucking times this should not be something I have to say
A wish: Hey can we acknowledge he's an adult, like, collectively. He is not a 'man child' he is not a 'adult child' he's a disabled adult man capable of making choices thanks
An oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: No Joel no brain damage wipe uhhh *checks wrist* no more infantilization from the show pretty please :)
5 words to best describe them: Loyal, Loud, Strong, Childish, Misunderstood
My nickname for them: Recycle bin (blue), Boose
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What did you think of the end of The Toll?
!!! TOLL SPOILERS !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION !!!
Scythe Cult: @honorablescythecurie @honorablescythefaraday @palli-x @book-limerence @lochscinders @a-lonely-tatertot @shellyseashell
bored? send me serotonin please <3
Okay now lets get a couple things out of the way. I haven’t read Toll in a little bit, and it’s taking forever to come from the library. Also, yes I did have it downloaded before, but I kept rereading Faraday’s journal entry when he find out Curie is dead. I know, I’m trash for them but honestly let me have this #curiedeservedbetter2021 #faradaydeservedbetter2021 #curadayforlife
Now that we’ve established that I’m just lonely and so I cling onto healthy (ish) fictional couples for my source of love, let’s proceed.
Things I remember:
- Rowan and Citra go zoomy zoom into spacey space, but Citra’s deadish because Goddard pulled some shit and so Rowan’s going to wait a couple hundred years for her to wake up
- Total hottie Ayn Rand shanked Goddard which is honestly a power move you go girl
- Faraday and Munira unleashed the failsafe, which basically infected a whole bunch of people and now Scythes just kill the infected people so that there’s no suffering
- Jeri!!! and Greyson!!! Babeys!!! Smol Beans!!! My genderfluid babey with my weird Jesus man it’s a match made by the Thunderhead (because it literally is)
- Rowan and Citra (who renounced her Scythehood) are going to start a new colony on some random ass planet
Things I don’t remember:
- Whatever happen with Cirrus
- Whatever happen with Joel the Jobe Man
- Whatever happen with Loriana and Munira who are totally in love Shusterman said Sapphic rights
Okay Akki stfu lets move on:
Okay. I didn’t really like it. I did like Rowan’s sarcasm, but the ending fell a little flat. Compared to the other books’ endings, I didn’t really think it measured up. It was just a bit bland. Here’s why.
The end goal:
Let’s just work our way through the series to show why The Toll just didn’t really work for me.
Scythe - Book 1:
Goal/Climax:
The goal/climax of the book was clear. Citra and Rowan are fighting for the ring. Only one can get it, and the winner has to glean the other.
The ending:
Citra wins the ring, and is ordained. Instead of actually killing (gleaning) Rowan, she slyly grants him immunity by punching him so that his blood’s DNA would transfer to the database and no Scythe could kill him. We also got a confession scene where they tell each other they love the other. It ends with Rowan finding out that Faraday did not self-glean.
Why it works:
It is tense. We are watching the two main characters have to either kill the other or be killed. Neither want to. It is clear from their actions throughout that they harbour feelings for each other. This is a high stakes situation. And it flows nicely. We don’t have any unnecessary dialogue/scenes. We don’t have a dumb solution to the problem where a bunch of unnecessary events happen like a character death/romantic scene. They do tell the other that they love them, but the moment is quick and is not the focus of the moment. The focus is on the actual ordainment ceremony and the challenge. The solution directly addresses the main conflict of the book.
Thunderhead - Book 2:
Goal/Climax:
Goddard and Citra (now Anastasia) are presenting their arguments as to who will win the inquest. The inquest was called because Anastasia and Curie needed time to gain more votes in favour of Curie for the position of High Blade.
The ending:
Anastasia and Curie win the inquest, and Goddard must complete a full new apprenticeship in order to train his new body. Goddard, however, has tricks up his sleeve. He had made a plan prior to the events on Endura to cripple the Grandslayers tower. The plan changes, but works to his favour and destroys the entire island. Curie, in a desperate attempt to save Rowan and Citra, locks them in an airtight chamber that will preserve them so they can be revived. With this sacrifice, Curie is forced to self glean.
“She thrust her blade inward, directly into her heart. She fell to the ground only seconds before the sea would wash over her, but she knew death would wash over her faster. And the blade hurt far less than she imagined it would, which made her smile. She was good. Very, very good.”
-Thunderhead, page 499
Why it works:
*violently screams in my head* I’m good don’t worry
It is a logical ending. If Curie and Anastasia had won the inquest and survived Endura, there would be no need for a third book, unless Shusterman had decided to write a book about Curie being High Blade and Goddard sulking in the shadows and plotting to kill her. That wouldn’t work because I don’t think there is any possible way Curie wouldn’t catch Goddard in two seconds because she’s a boss.
Many people say that Curie should have gotten Rowan to lock her and Anastasia in the vault instead of him. Rowan would have died for Anastasia, it makes sense, but that takes away from the very essence of Curie’s character. She is a truly Honourable Scythe. She knows that Anastasia loves him, and she cares deeply about Anastasia. Letting herself survive would have been completely out of character. She also knows that Anastasia is the future of the Scythedom. While it would be a great help if Curie didn’t die, as well as sparing us emotional trauma, it doesn’t make sense for her character.
This ending also directly “solved” the issue in the book. While the villain won, it was a satisfying ending. Curie is dead, that was a very smart move, because obviously Goddard wouldn’t survive two seconds if she was there. It gave us a good reason for the Thunderhead to disappear.
*violently screams again* Curie died, yeah, no, I’m okay
The Toll - Book 3: *note that some details may be wrong
Goal/Climax:
Faraday, Rowan, Jeri, Munira, Loriana, Anastasia, Greyson, and Cirrus need to figure out what to with the frozen Tonists, all unknowing that Scythes Goddard and Rand are heading towards the island. They still need to beat him in order to make sure that the non-Scythe population won’t be subject to bias/malice/aforethought/Goddard’s ego.
The ending:
Rowan, and Citra, who renounced her Scythehood, travel to another planet that can support life with the frozen Tonists, as well as 42 other ships carrying Tonists. Cirrus is copied into 42 different versions in order to save humanity. After being offered Citra’s old ring, Munira (I believe) returns to the Library of Alexandria. Faraday follows through with the failsafe and gleans only the suffering. Greyson and Jeri stay together on the island, and become romantically involved. Scythe Rand is the one who eventually kills Goddard.
Why it DOESN’T work:
Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m just going to go character by character and by the plot.
1. Plot - It just doesn’t make sense. The hero’s solution doesn’t in any way stop Goddard, who is the main villain. We’ve led up to this for a very long time, and Rand is the one who gleans him. If I’m correct, The main characters don’t interact with Goddard for nearly the entire book, save Rowan. The solution, to save humanity by colonizing other planets would, without Rand’s interference, let Goddard wreak his havoc on the world. Only Scythe Faraday and Morrison could truly challenge him, and even then Faraday is old and hasn’t kept his abilities refined, and Morrison is young and inexperienced and wears a denim robe.
2. Rand and Goddard’s Arcs - Rand is the one who kills Goddard. I think that this was a very interesting move, and one that made a lot of sense. Goddard has treated her terribly, it would satisfy her arc of turning against him, as well as giving her a redemption arc that would also avenge Tyger’s death. I think that this is actually a really good arc, were it not for the fact that Citra and Goddard never fought/interacted with each other. If there had been a fight, and Rand had killed him then, that would have been better and would have better satisfied the actual conflict in the book.
3. Rowan and Citra’s Arcs - In terms of Citra’s arc, I think it was emotionally impactful to have her renounce her Scythehood. But Rowan didn’t have as much of a part to play in this book as he could have had. Citra and Goddard also never interacted, which would have been very interesting since he was the direct cause of her mentor and canon mother figure’s death. It would have been an interesting scene that could have played out really well. Based on Discord texts from a conversation I had, I know an reminded that the last two pages of The Toll were incredibly impactful and beautiful. I don’t have much to say about Rowan since I don’t remember much of his role.
4. Jeri, Greyson, Loriana, and Munira’s Arcs - I paired these four together since their doings aren’t very solid after the books. Jeri and Greyson are canonically together, which I think was a great move by Shusterman. Having a main character in a healthy relationship with a canon LGBTQ+ character was incredibly impactful for me, and it satisfied Greyson’s thoughts about how he doesn’t care if Jeri is a boy or a girl, he just loves them. Loriana didn’t have as much of an arc, but Munira did have a small one. Her refusal of the Scythe’s ring let her dispense of her hatred for Scythes and their system, and let her let go of her bitter feelings about not being ordained.
5. Cirrus’ Arc? - I do not remember enough to speak about Cirrus’ role in the books.
6. Faraday’s Arc - This is probably the one I have the most to say about. I am sorry in advance. Faraday is an emotional character. He has cried canonically twice as far as I can remember, once when he gleaned a child, and the other when he found out Scythe Curie and Anastasia had died on Endura. He is also openly disgusted with Scythe Goddard and his practices, which is why I supremely dislike his arc. It would have been so interesting to see how he would have reacted if Scythe Goddard and the heroes had interacted during the end scene of The Toll. We know he is an Honourable Scythe, like Curie, and upholds the Scythe Commandments, especially after his punishment over his breaking of the 9th commandment “Thou shalt have no spouse nor spawn.” It would have been so. interesting. to see whether Faraday would snap and attack Goddard, if he would try and talk to him, how he would react. Like with Anastasia, he would have been interacting with Curie’s murderer. The potential of that moment! Don’t forget that Faraday is definitely still in love with Curie, based on his elevated heart rate in Thunderhead, and his journal entry in The Toll. I think it would have been so interesting to see him confront her killer.
Summary:
Okay that was much longer than I intended, and I have more thoughts, but it’s 2:40 am and I haven’t slept in a while. So my summary. I liked The Toll. It was a solid book, that had funny moments, jaw dropping moments, heartfelt moments, and emotionally impactful scenes. It was a solid book.
I don’t think it compared as much to the other two, especially Thunderhead. The ending fell a little flat and didn’t carry the arcs as well as I would have liked, but honestly, I still reread it. Shusterman really managed to pull at your emotions.
Because I just beat up on the book for the last couple paragraphs, let me tell you some of my favourite parts of the book.
1. Literally any scene with Possuelo and Anastasia that dynamic was so good and him calling her “meu anjo” literally made my heart do a little happy dance the father-daughter dynamic was what we needed. It also offered a nice levity to tough scenes.
2. The Rowan-Anastasia Reunion. They ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet. Ohhhh my god, they ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet! That was so cute, and as someone who was a strong supporter of platonic Rowan & Anastasia, I honestly loved it.
3. Faraday-Anastasia Reunion. Him dropping to his knees in front her her, her initial confusion as to who he was, and the “perhaps the greatest of all Scythes was kneeling in front of her” part killed me. Their reunion was so well written and heart-wrenching.
4. Anastasia Cries about Curie’s Death. I feel like WatchMojo right now. Anyways, the way her emotions break after trying to repress her sadness over her mentor’s sacrifice for her.
5. Rowan’s sarcasm. Beauty. What a power move to sass the guy who’s going to set you on fire in front of 3000 people.
6. Scythe Constantine and Rand. What a dynamic I wasn’t ready for. Rand’s cool comebacks with Constantine’s sly personality just made for the most amazing dialogue opportunities.
Thank you anon!
#asks#anon asks#not main content#arc of a scythe#scythe#thunderhead#the toll#scythe anastasia#citra terranova#rowan damisch#scythe faraday#munira atrushi#loriana barchok#greyson tolliver#scythe rand#scythe goddard#jerico soberanis#mine#tw long post#tw swearing#tw cult mention#the toll spoilers#thunderhead spoilers#this was so long sorry
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DQXI/The Last of Us Part II Crossover
Crossover week: Home | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
Enter a fic idea that started because I was thinking of luminerik in a zombie apocalypse when I realized there was already a game I could plop them into! I really enjoyed The Last of Us and, to a greater extent, TLOU Part II, although to be fair I only watched playthroughs of them.
They’re action-packed and emotionally driven, especially the sequel.
More under the cut for another longer post. Content warnings for depictions of violence, death, zombies, that sort of thing. Spoilers for The Last of Us 1 and 2, some DQXI canon parallels, and a potential future Saru fic (though doubtful).
Rating: M. For sure M.
Pairings: luminerik. Some friendships I haven’t figured out yet. Is it possible to throw in a slowburn and have this be an action/adventure fic? Who knows.
Premise: Eleven is Ellie in this, nice and simple. He’s the child who is immune to the Cordyceps virus that rapidly infects a shit ton of the human population and leads him to go on a whole adventure at the tender age of 13 or so.
However, this fic would take a lot from the events of TLOU II, when El is older. I have no idea what the main theme of this fic would be. In TLOU II, it was revenge.
About revenge…
Ellie’s father figure is murdered in front of her, the same man who took away her chance to help the world by him saving her from her self-sacrifice at the end of TLOU. Ellie felt like her life didn’t matter anymore because Joel took her life’s purpose away from her, but she was going to try to forgive him. Before Ellie could do that, Joel was murdered. Held down and beaten to death with a golf club while Ellie was forced to watch.
Ellie must have felt guilty about that— for holding her grudge over an aging man’s head for so long, a man who wanted her to live and be happy. And that just makes her angrier after witnessing his death.
The Eleven I know would never resort to murder, and he doesn’t have the same harshness to his character as Ellie did in TLOU. However, given the right circumstances, anyone can probably break. I just don’t know that I can replicate the same emotions and motives Ellie had behind her actions, or the relationship she held for Joel. There’s nobody like Joel in DQXI as far as I can throw it.
So, yeah! I’ve seen mention before of AUs where Jasper or Hendrik are Eleven’s father figures, and I could see that as more likely than Chalky or Rab slotting in for Joel in this. But also, Jasper, Hendrik, etc., would slot in very well as replacing Abby.
A bit of plot
The fic begins with Erik and Mia foraging for firewood in a snowy forest. They’ve been traveling for years with a posse of older men who keep them around as lackeys and possible zombie bait. You know, because people are horrible. The posse had picked up Erik and Mia when they were barely teens; that’s when the infection had started and the siblings hadn’t had much choice in whether they were going to go with the men or not, considering the alternative was likely death.
Anyway, when Erik and Mia return to camp, they find they have a new visitor! It’s a boy, gagged up to a chair in the center of the room. He has a bruise across his forehead and doesn’t look too happy about the arrangement.
Erik’s shocked at this new development, but it’s not his place to ask questions. Good thing he doesn’t have to, because soon enough there’s another stranger knocking at their door. And they want Eleven back.
Which. You can imagine how that exchange goes. The stranger gets what they want, although not without shedding some blood in the process. It’s not like Erik is one to complain so long as he and his sister are safe, and they do survive the ensuing shootout, despite almost being used as a meat shield at some point.
Eleven urges his savior — a family friend — to take Erik and Mia in, and they relent. I don’t know who saves Eleven. I know Eleven probably lives in Jackson with others who all treat each other like family.
And that’s all I’ve got. The plot unravels from there. The only other thing I have in my notes is obligatory sexual tension, gore, some close calls with the infected, and Eleven’s big reveal that he is immune to zombie chomps. (Full disclosure, I don’t think Erik would feel betrayed by the news.)
More overarching plot
I don’t know if Eleven sets off on a revenge plot like Ellie did in the games but hey, I’m here for that. He has a dark side he doesn’t show the others (Darkspawn, anyone?). That, or he wants to search for another doctor (one Joel didn’t murder thankyouverymuch) to help him save the world by developing a vaccine.
As I mentioned before, Jasper, Hendrik, etc. could be Group B in this fic, replacing Abby. I am so sorry to them if this fic closely followed TLOU II’s plot because that means pretty much none of that team is going to come out of this fic alive.
I DO like the idea of Erik agreeing to go on an adventure with Eleven in exchange for letting Mia stay in Jackson. So, Eleven obvs agrees and lets Erik join him. Imagine Erik unknowingly joining a revenge/murder plot and seeing his new friend slowly losing his sanity as he gets lost in the sauce of killing people. That would be terrible! Particularly if Erik said, “Sure, I’ll follow you while you do whatever” and only later discovers El’s darker motives.
The Obligatory Luminerik
No one ever needs a reason for romance in a fic but by god it was in TLOU II canonically anyway so that’s all the reason I need. Give me two boys gently mending each other’s injuries after fights. Meaningful glances over campfires and tag-teaming to overcome obstacles while traveling together. Give me that sad as all Hell guitar solo with Ellie singing to Dina only make it Eleven singing softly while Erik’s heart shatters into a billion pieces and— agh. If you don’t know how that love story ends, I don’t have the heart to tell you.
(P.s. oh I forgot to mention that El's parents were probably tragically murdered in front of him by a clicker that had heard their noise, and therefore El has residual trauma from it. Might be selectively mute or just afraid to speak around anybody really, to the point that others think he's "slow" whereas he doesn't give a shit what other people think about it and probably hasn't told anyone about the parent-murdered thing.)
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Ok! 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, and 15 for Tvelle, and 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, and 20 for Joel!
What a chaotic couple of ocs I love it
TVELLE
3. What social media platforms would they use (if in a world where those existed) and what would they use them for? Bonus: What would they get cancelled for?
She would be on all of them, specifically to be friends with and interact with all of her lil soldier trainees! It’d be like soccer mom social media but 10x nicer and 100x more kids! She would primarily use YouTube above all others though, filming good humored prank videos. If she were to get canceled it would be for people yelling at her for cheating on her boyfriend/girlfriend because she’s poly but doesn’t openly talk about her relationships with everyone.
4. Do they have any weird scars, and how did they get them?
Good question I never actually thought much on her scars! She doesn’t have any genuinely significant ones, just a lot of faded cuts and abrasions from her time living on the streets and her early years in the Vigil. Standard stuff for a very outgoing high energy warrior.
5. What crime are they most likely to be arrested for?
Bar fights or fights in general in inappropriate locations. She will beat down if prompted, though now it’s for the fun of it instead of pure aggression!
6. Ok, what crime are they most likely to have actually committed?
The exact same one. She’s an energetic warrior!
9. Who would they platonically marry for tax benefits?
Out of her partners, Logan is easily the most financially responsible so he’s who she would marry for tax benefits. Canach getting very good at gambling does not count as financially responsible
10. What superstition/paranormal entity/conspiracy theory do they believe is 100% real, whether or not they admit it?
Well, supernatural shit already canonically exists in GW2, but if it were a non magical world she would absolutely still believe in ghosts and watch all ghost hunter shows.
15. What’s their favorite food to make?
Cookies! Easy to make in a huge batch so she can just toss em out to her trainees, and sweets are just so good~
JOEL
8. Do they collect anything? What do they collect?
Nope, it really doesn’t have many material possessions and is used to keeping belongings few and light for all the guardian changes. But it’s been given a few things as thanks from people at times, after doing a rescue, and it’s been just collecting all of those in a bag it can take out on jobs to just be a nice thing to remember and look at~
9. Who would they platonically marry for tax benefits?
Probably Trahearne. The two have zero romantic feelings but they trust each other and he’s one of the first stable people Joel had in its life.
10. What superstition/paranormal entity/conspiracy theory do they believe is 100% real, whether or not they admit it?
Oh in a world without confirmed supernatural phenomena, Joel would heavily be a skeptic on everything except UFOs. Strange inexplicable lights in the sky with multiple people confirming the stories and movements incapable of being achieved by modern tech? Sure, space is fucking huge there could be shit out there we don’t understand.
11. What’s something embarrassing they did as a child/teenager?
Got a tattoo on its chest purely for Rebellion purposes, keeps it covered because now it thinks the tattoo is stupid. Thank fuck Balthazar burned that skin off with his ambush, little victories lol
12. What’s something embarrassing they probably did yesterday?
Chased a fly out of boredom. Beast senses still get the jump on it occasionally when it’s just spacing out and it didn’t realize it was aimlessly chasing a fly for several minutes.
14. What niche topic do they get incredibly pedantic about?
Animal/pet husbandry. Take proper fucking care of your pets or it will jump to its human form just to lecture you while stealing your pet to hand off to someone it trusts to do proper husbandry.
20. What’s a headcanon you’ve always wanted to share but none of these ask memes ever ask you about it?
Joel misses its pet. It misses that almost constant reassuring feel of another being in the back of its mind, knowing it is never alone. With the incident that just isn’t a possibility at all any more and sometimes the mind can be such a quiet place...
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1, 3, 5, 7, 15, and A-E for Ophelia/Alistair and/or Emma/Joel please 💖
1. Who do the kids enjoy playing with the most?
Alistair/Ophelia: There’s nothing Elodie likes more than playing Darkspawns and Warden with Alistair. They take turns chasing each other around and terrorizing everyone who happens to cross their path.
Joel/Emma: Emma has more energy for shenanigans, so they probably drift more toward playing with her, at least when they’re little. As they get a little older though, they can do more stuff with Joel and he’s able to pass down his hobbies to them.
3. Who does the baby follow around more?
Alistair/Ophelia: Elodie follows her papa around as much as possible. It’s all fun and games until foreign delegations are interrupted by baby babble.
Joel/Emma: They trail after Joel like little ducklings until he swings them up on his shoulders.
5. Who’s constantly up checking on the baby in the middle of the night (even when the baby is sound asleep)?
Alistair/Ophelia: They both do for different reasons. Alistair because he never thought he’d be able to have a family, ever, and the fact that he was given this little miracle? He never, ever gets tired of watching her sleep, even when the night nurse wants him to go away. Ophelia checks on her a lot because it took them a very long time to have her because of the taint, and she loves Elodie so much... but she worries, too.
Joel/Emma: Joel checks in a lot more than Emma does. He sleeps worse than her, and after Sarah... it’s nice to be reminded that their little ones are okay. (In a no-outbreak au, Emma checks in more, but Joel’s still attentive)
7. Who trails behind the baby to make sure they don’t fall? (And then has to console them once they inevitably do.)
Alistair/Ophelia: They both do, but I think Alistair is more worried about accidents.
Joel/Emma: Emma for sure. Joel’s done this before so he’s less worried.
15. Who is better at comforting the kids when they’re scared?
Alistair/Ophelia: They’re both good at it, but Alistair is better at getting Elodie laughing afterward.
Joel/Emma: Emma’s good at distracting them, and Joel’s good at providing a calming, solid presence.
A. Who do they think their child takes after? In what ways do they remind them of each other?
Alistair/Ophelia: Elodie strongly favors Alistair, which is particularly good her position in court later, especially after how long it took her to be born, especially after the way Cailan was never able to produce an heir. Elodie is funny like Alistair, always ready to crack a joke, but she’s also stubborn to the core like Ophelia.
Joel/Emma: It’s easy to see Emma in their kids, but if you look a little closer... Jack has the same eyes and smile, and the same strong backbone. Charlie has her mother’s singing voice, but her dad’s eye for details.
B. What was their first night as new parents like?
Alistair/Ophelia: They kicked out the nanny and wetnurse and insisted on being alone. Ophelia was tired and in pain still, so she drifted in and out of sleep, and Alistair just sat up all night marveling at this little baby. When Elodie woke her mother up crying but settled down once she heard Ophelia’s voice, both her parents cried.
Joel/Emma: Emma kept crying because she was exhausted and overwhelmed and so happy, and Joel kept falling asleep sitting up in his armchair. They worked it out.
C. Did their relationship change once they became parents? How?
Alistair/Ophelia: This was complicated by the fact that Alistair was hearing the false Calling the whole time, but they really pulled together tight to protect their little family unit. They were both terrified for the first six months or so that something bad would happen, and Alistair really wanted to soak up as much time with his girls as he could.
Joel/Emma: It was definitely a harder adjustment than Emma was prepared for, and there are times when she’s afraid things aren’t going to get better. (This is especially true in canon because they’re both older and Joel is holding so many secrets.) She leans on the girl gang a lot for support and advice, and when Jack starts sleeping better through the night, Emma and Joel start sleeping better through the night, and they start working better together as a team too. It’s just an adjustment period and then they’re back to being their disgustingly in love selves.
D. What new traditions do they start as a family?
Alistair/Ophelia: Literally every tradition they come up with is one they had to start. Alistair was barely raised by anyone, and Ophelia spent most of her time with nannies. Neither of them wanted that for their kids, so they spend a lot more time with Elodie than the rest of the court expects them to. I think their biggest tradition is just... having a quiet Satinalia celebration, just the three of them, every single year before the bigger court celebrations.
Joel/Emma: Oh boy. I think their biggest tradition is how they always have music in their home. It’s not the same as the way they were raised -- Emma’s childhood home mostly just had Jesusy music going all the time, but she and Joel are always singing and playing instruments together. If they’re too busy for that, records are playing.
E. Are they honest with their children? Are there certain things they try to shield from them?
Alistair/Ophelia: Alistair is way more likely than Ophelia to shield things from Elodie. He just wants her to have a happy childhood, and he doesn’t want her to know about the gritty details of things. Ophelia knows it’s important that Elodie be prepared for life, though, so they have a lot of honest conversations as Elodie grows up.
Joel/Emma: There’s no room for shielding the truth from kids in canon. They have to be very clear about why it’s dangerous to leave the walls and what they need to do to stay safe. The kids grow up with a lot of respect for that. In no-outbreak... there’s more room to let kids be kids, but they’re still pretty no-nonsense about stuff.
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When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 3)
Joel Miller x FEM! Reader
A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the second episode (and more to come).
WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's. Major character deaths. DISCLAIMER NO CHARACTERS/GIFS/PICS USED ARE MINE.
Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.
Prev. Chapter
You and Joel lingered in the back as Tess and Ellie walked ahead of you. You couldn’t help but study Ellie as she took in the world for what you assumed was for the first time. You saw the ruins around you as painful reminders of the world that was lost, but you could see the beauty of it in her eyes. It was like a baby opening their eyes for the first time and taking in everything around them, a certain sparkle lingered as she took in the world around her. Where you saw painful reminders all she could see was wonder, without knowing it the corners of your mouth turned upward. It wasn’t until you looked away and saw Joel’s gaze on you that you struggled to fight the embarrassed flush that was making its way to your cheeks.
“What?” You asked, crossing your arms. Joel’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before turning away. You sighed as you picked up your pace, trying to put some distance between you. You didn’t like when he did that, looking at you without saying anything, it made you nervous. You pushed down the reason why it made you nervous as you both reached the overturned car ahead. It was something that you could easily climb, you were almost there when Joel caught up to you. You wordlessly made it to the car, Tess and Ellie already on the other side when Joel motioned you to go first. You could hear the car creak as you stepped but you paid it no mind, finally stepping onto the concrete ground with a solid thud, before turning to the pepper haired man behind you. You waited for him on the other side, you watched as he adjusted the firearm as he stepped, careful not to get it caught on something. When he landed with a thud you discreetly looked at his hand, still shaky.
“Wish I could’ve done more.” You sigh, as you and Joel move to catch up with the rest of your small group.
“What did you say?” You forgot, you were on Joel’s right side, his hearing practically deaf from that one shooting match. You were about to repeat yourself when you stumbled, not seeing the piece of debris in front of you. As you prepared yourself for impact you were shocked to feel something warm wrapped around you. You breathed in and recognized the familiar earthy scent. You looked over to see Joel had his hands around your waist. From this angle you could feel the material of his shirt, the warmth of his chest and see the faint lines of age scattered gracefully on his face. You could feel the blush rising from the back of your neck and your heart thumping against your chest as your eyes lingered their gaze on his dark eyes. Breaking away from him as you felt your eyes being pulled to look at his lips.
No, you told yourself, get a hold of yourself goddamn it.
He wasn’t yours to want.
“Trying to sweep me off my feet Miller?” You deflected the very real feelings by meaningless humor, a tactic you’ve used more than you cared to say. Almost like being broken out of a trance Joel straightened up as he maneuvered you to stay at his left side.
“Watch your step.” Joel said as you all continued, you could see Ellie sneaking glances of you occasionally, a mischievous smile etching her way across her face as a sinking feeling snuck its way into your guts.
“Don’t get too attached,” Joel says beside you, eyes trained ahead.
“Who said I was?” You defended. You could hear him let out a long sigh before turning his gaze towards you.
“I’m just saying Doc,” Joel said, his eyes never leaving you, “she’s cargo, we’re going to be dropping her off and then going to get Tommy out of whatever shit he’s in.” You look at him, Joel’s never gone more than a day without talking to Tommy. Not since the outbreak. In a way, Tommy was the only other person who knew Sarah. His last connection to the life he had before. So you put your hand on his shoulder and squeeze lightly.
“I’m sure he’s doing ok,” you assured, “who knows. He may have found people to help him, keep him company while we work on trying to get to him.” Joel never smiled, at least, never in front of people he didn’t consider close to him. So instead his eyes soften as he mutters a silent thank you. You smiled for him before returning your gaze in front of you.
“Everyone said the open city was crazy,” Ellie spoke loud enough for you and Joel to hear, “like swarms of infected running around everywhere.”
“It’s not exactly like that,” Joel spoke as you continued.
“People like to tell stories,” Tess added.
“So there aren’t like super infected that explode fungus spores on you?” Ellie asked, sounding slightly disappointed.
“Haven’t come across one if there are any,” You say looking at her, “but fuck that sounds terrifying. You would need to travel with a gas mask everywhere with you and if that breaks you're screwed.” Ellie’s eyes lit up at you as you engaged her.
“If you think that’s terrifying I’ve heard stories about ones with split open heads that see in the dark like bats!”
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You tried to calm the erratic beating of your heart and willed the slight shake in your hand to still as you barely breathed.
The long way had been a bust, leaving only the “Fuck no” route. At first the bone dry roots in front of the abandoned museum had given you slight hope that maybe the infected there were already dead. But as you said before, hope was hell. Now you were crouched behind a display case as a clicker passed by you, its head taken over by the fungus. You were just glad that the thing only heard sound and couldn’t see. Out of the corner of your eye you could see where Joel and Ellie were crouched over. You were careful to be silent as you took your aim, you nodded over where Tess was; a silent plan formed as you prayed to whatever god was willing to grant some mercy as you shot at the clicker as it came too close for comfort to them. Sure enough one shot was all it took, but you quickly turned to see the other clicker coming full speed at you. You shot a few times, trying to slow it down as Tess swung an ax at its head as she tackled it, she landed on the ground with a thud as the clicker started to go after her. You were quick to shoot at it, once and twice before it finally went down. It’s deformed body sinking to the ground at an odd angle.
“Fuck” you said as you lowered your gun before you looked over at Joel and Ellie, making sure that they were ok. They stood up and walked over to you. You said a silent apology to the clicker as your focus returned to the group. “Everyone alright? Tess?”
“Yeah,” Tess said thickly, acting as though her bell hadn’t been run, “just a sprained ankle.” She adjusts her jacket, which you paid no mind as your gaze turns to Joel and Ellie.
“I’m fine.” Joel assures as he walks over to lend Tess a hand that she refuses.
“Umm guys,” Ellie called, you looked over at her to see her sleeve pulled up.
Another bite.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You mutter as you rub your temple. The first bite was three weeks old, but you had no idea what a second bite would do. What if that second bite is the one she needs to turn. You took in a sharp breath as you tried to think logically,
This could be an experiment, wait it out, if she doesn’t turn then that proves that she is immune, either fully or highly. If she turns then the world just goes on turning, no cure no vaccine no hope. If she doesn't, something might be able to be done to help spread immunity.
Everyone was silent until Tess spoke.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
You, Joel, Ellie, and Tess make your way up the final flight of steps before reaching the roof. Tess had limped and grunted as she powered through.
“That’s it,” you said as you put your bag down beside you and sat Tess down on the window seal. Looking up at Joel and Ellie, “Go on ahead and wait for us over there. It won’t take longer than a minute.” Joel seemed hesitant before taking Ellie across the makeshift bridge.
You took off the well worn shoe and began to grab bandages.
“You don’t need to,” Tess began.
“Yes I do,” you said, patching her up, “you could cause more damage if it’s not healed right.”
“Put that away you don’t ne-”
“Then call it duty of care or whatever,” you said, “I can’t just let you limp arou-”
“For fucks sake Doc listen,” Tess harshly whispers, you stop your ministrations, and time seemed to slow down. There was a dangerous look in her eye, one of fear and acceptance all at once. You studied her until you finally noticed the inflamed redness crawling up the side of her collarbone.
No, please god no.
Tess looked over at Joel and Ellie before pulling the collar of her shirt down to reveal the bite marks. You could feel your heart in your throat as you watched the long haired woman gently push your hands away.
“Save your bandages,” Tess said as her hand adjusted the collar of her shirt to hide it, “I’m not going to need them soon anyways.”
“Goddamnit Detroit,” you swore, as you pushed back the hot tears that burned in the back of your eyes. You loved Tess like a sister, she had become family to you and now she was being taken away. Your heart broke but you pushed it down.
“My luck had to run out sometime,” Tess said, “I’m going to need you to promise me something Doc.” You wordlessly nodded, not trusting the words to come out without choking you.
“I’m leaving you a list,” she starts, “and you’re going to do every single thing on that list.” She grabs your hand in hers, “one, look out for yourself more you don’t do it enough. Two, you get that kid to the Firefly’s no matter what, and three…look out for Joel after I’m gone, he’s going to try to push you away and everything but don’t let him. Punch him when he’s an ass but give him a bandaid after, just look out for him. Cause one day he's going to piss off the wrong person and they’ll kill him for it if you’re not there, you know I’m right.” You closed your eyes, another piece of your heart was breaking as you finished what you had started. You used tape instead of bandages.
“When are you going to tell Joel?”
“After we drop the kid off,” she says, “you’re not going to say anything until then is that understood.”
“And if you turn before then?”
“Then…” she pauses the gruesome scenario playing through her mind, “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” she turns to you, “promise me that you’ll do exactly as I said.”
“I promise,” you don’t hesitate as you helped her up and watched her as she walked along the bridge. Coming up beside Joel who stood side by side with Ellie, watching the view. You stifled the pain in your chest as you watched her smile and look at him, you could see her looking at the view herself. You pretended to do the same, but you couldn’t enjoy it knowing it was the last view you would ever appreciate with her again.
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It didn’t take long to get to the government building, its daunting walls that used to gleam were covered in vines and weather worn. You didn’t look at Joel the entire time, too scared that he would read you like a book, even as all four of you hunched behind an old yellow car you dared not look.
You didn’t see any Firefly’s outside, it seemed completely dead. Something was clearly off, Tess motioned Joel to go first. You watched him stalk carefully across the road to the truck, and swing open the door, the gun already in his hands despite finding it empty. You watched as he circled the truck as you got out from behind the car Tess and Ellie in tow and walked towards him, noticing the blood that stained the inside and the bodies rotting. They couldn’t have been there for longer than a day. Something definitely wasn’t right.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” Joel replied, equally confused.
“They went inside.” Ellie said, pointing to the trail of blood leading to the steps. Without warning Tess grabbed her arm, “Come on” she says as she marches her way up the steps. You notice her slightly shaking, she was running out of time.
“Tess!” Joel called out for her, running towards her. You took in a shaky breath before rushing up the steps yourself. You all walk in and your stomach sinks to the floor. Pools of scarlet surround the former Firefly’s as fungus patches decorated the ground.
“Holy shit” Ellie swore.
“Ok,” You heard Tess say her voice shaky, “I mean, there has to be a fucking radio or something.” You see panic start to fill her eyes as she searches.
“Who killed them?” Ellie asks looking at Joel, “FEDRA?”
“No,” Joel answers, turning over the body in front of him with his boot clad foot. Tess’s search was getting more frantic. “One of them got bit,” he points to the bite marks, “the healthy ones fought the sick ones, everyone lost- Tess?” He turns around, “what’re you doing?” walking over to her.
“Where did Marlene say she was taking you?” Tess ignored Joel, walking over to Ellie who didn’t answer. “Ellie!” her impatience grew as you saw Ellie think.
“Uuh, I don’t know just West.”
Tess cusses as she continues looking, “Well I mean, one of them has to have a map right?” Joel just stands there as she rummages through the bodies, hoping to find a map or whatever she could. His head tilted down. “Joel, can you help me?”
“No!” Joel states his gaze lifting from the ground, “Tess! It’s over.” he walks closer to her, “we are going home!”
“That’s not my fucking home!” Tess snaps, her eyes wide with anger. All went silent for a moment as Joel stepped back. You couldn’t, your heart pounding, you felt like you were going to throw up. You wanted to tell him, tell everyone right then.
“She’s infected.” You turn to see Ellie take a step back, her knife in her hand. You didn’t say anything as Joel seemed to stop breathing. He flinches back as Tess takes a deep breath, standing up from her crouched position.
“Tess?”
“I mean, our luck had to run out sooner or later.” Tess says, showing the bite to Joel, who’s hand is already at his gun. You could see both of them, sorrow in their eyes as they looked at each other.
“Raise your sleeve.” You said to Ellie who complied without hesitation. You studied the new mark, it was different from Tess’s. There was no inflammation and her hands were perfectly still, they had gotten bitten around the same time. You could almost feel the tears prick your skin as you showed her arm to Joel and Tess.
“Guys,” you said, presenting the arm, “she really is immune.” You could see something in Tess shift, and a look that you had never seen before ran across her face. Meanwhile Joel was still, like he still could hardly believe it.
“Don’t you see this Joel,” Tess started, “she’s fucking real!” She smiled the kind of smile that reached the eyes. You wanted to memorize it, memorize that smile and the way her eyes lit up. You wanted to remember her this way. Tess walks to Joel, taking his face in her hands. “You need to take her to Bill and Frank’s-”
“No-” Joel denied
“They’ll take her off your hands.”
“No-”
“They’ll handle it from here.”
“No,” Joel repeated, moving her hands away from his face. “I can't, they won’t take her.”
“They will if Doc vouches for her,” Tess said, “you need to take her too.”
“I can’t-”
“You can,” Tess interrupted, “and you will.” She steps closer to him and speaks in a voice so low you couldn’t hear, but you could still see the lone tear slip from her eyes as her shakes worsen. You pull Ellie’s sleeve down, but as you hear movement you grab her and pull her back with you. Away from the moving corpse without thinking.
Joel shoots it without thinking, the sound echoing off the once glorious marble walls. All was silent a moment before you saw the tendrils of the fungus wrap around the fingers of the dead man. Your skin went cold as you grabbed Ellie’s arm.
“Joel” you said as he rushed towards the doors after a moment of standing still, looking out you could hear them coming. The sound was faint but you were sure of it, an entire swarm.
“How many?” you asked.
“All of them.” Joel states, as he passesTess, “maybe a minute.'' A moment passes before you hear something leaking, you look over at Tess to see her uncorking bottles of what smelled like gas. The pungent liquid spilling all onto the floor.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ellie asks, worry written on her face as you let go of her.
“Making sure they don’t follow you.” Tess uncorks another bin and tips it over. In a matter of seconds you knew what she was planning.
And your heart broke.
You looked over at Joel to see that he came to the same conclusion as you did. His dark eyes became glassy as he watched as she poured tub after tub of gasoline and box after box of explosives. He stood still, his expression was like he could hardly believe what was happening. You were the same.
“Joel,” Tess said after dumping what she could she stood in front of him. Her eyes study him, you could see her trying to memorize him. To imprint his face in her mind, her eyes filled with unshed tears as she spoke her voice thick, “save who you can save.” Joel stood there for a long moment, you did the same, trying to memorize every detail of her. You tried thinking of every good memory that you had with her, you wanted to thank her for all that she did, and tell her that you’ll miss her. You forced back the tears you held, you knew she wouldn’t want them. Not when so much was at stake.
You gave her hand a squeeze, hoping that squeeze would speak all the things you never said, all the things you would have said had there been more time.
And just like that you felt her touch disappear as Joel grabbed you and Ellie and ran. He never once let you or her go, even as Ellie dug her heels into the ground trying to go back for her.
You never looked back.
You didn’t dare to.
You ran as fast as you could, you heard as the swarm broke through the building, their inhuman noises echoing. It didn’t take long after you left the building for it to go up in flames, the ricochet of the explosion rattled your bones. It was then that you turned, you saw the clickers burn and die, each one that dropped to the ground or screamed in agony made you feel nothing. Nothing but the loss that you felt, and the warmth of Joel's hand leave yours as he raised his gun. Prepared for any stragglers.
There weren’t any.
You took a moment to look in the flames, with each fire you relived a memory. All three of you standing there a moment, all giving Tess one final moment. One moment to yourselves to feel the pain that her sacrifice caused. Before you do what you had to.
And move on.
#x reader#joel miller#joel x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader smut#joel miller x reader#x reader smut#x reader angst#joel x reader fluff#tlous hbo#tlou x reader#tlou show#tlou season 1#tlou smut#tlou series#ellie tlou#tlous tess
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Guardian Angel , Gentleman Thief Chapter 3 Fleur’s/Marie’s commentary
The chapter title come from the Billy Joel Song of the same name.
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I just think the lyrics for the most part fit Arsene’s and Futaba’s relationship from Arsene’s point of view.
I wrote the line “How creative of you.” In response to Arsene calling Futaba ““little frog”Self deprecation on a textual and meta level.
Ryuji trying to outrun the rain was @gelgela29‘s idea. I love it. It’s in character , cute, and hilarious. It’s the funniest joke in the chapter in my opinion.(My second is Arséne telling Futaba how he likes the way Futaba’s name rolls off his nonexistent tounge. It just felt very fun and self aware. I wrote that line. )
She had a distressing dream a while back about receiving a review saying that our fic strayed too far from canon I was able to assure we won’t because we try to keep it feel like canon but with different choices made.( @gelgela29 was tempted to break that to give Ryuji a dog. Can’t really blame her the good boy deserves a good boy or girl. )I also brought up @ren-amamiyaa‘s review of the fic if it wasn’t close enough to canon Ren wouldn’t have said it had a vintage P5 charm. See Ren you don’t even realize how big of a help you are to us.
When gg wants us to work on something she’ll leave this symbol.
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Because Ren is on a “NG+” He has maxed out stats which is why he can be bold in his honesty but also kind ,knowledgeable and charming. (We’ll show him to be proficient later too.)Though whether we can keep that up is a question. Arsene remembers the previous run which was the freedom ending. I really do think an Arséne that became Satanael in a past run would trick and defy anyone and everyone to help the forgotten, the forsaken and the lost. Even if that person is himself.
@nerdylibertarian928 Also helped us. She and I go quite aways back. She’s not in this fandom but she’s always willing to lend a willing ear and I trust her judgment and honesty. She helped us troubleshoot a plot development.
The song Arséne sings to Futaba was left to the reader but to gg it’s “Beneath the Mask” to me it’s” O-o-h Child” by The Five Stairsteps. Was also going to have Futaba kinda remember it because Sojiro would also sing sometimes. (I also like that it’s a Soft Soul song.) But any song you can picture a parent singing to their frightened child to calm them is valid.
We were going to have Ren talk to NPG and find out information about Futaba that way.
No FNaF reference in this chapter though there was one that got cut. I had Arséne paraphrase one of Jack o’Chica’s lines. All of her lines from UCN fit Arséne and Satanael in my opinion.
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I didn’t want to change anything after it was published on ao3. I didn’t want to be like George Lucas with the Star Wars special additions of The original trilogy especially something like switching out Sebastian Shaw for Hayden Christensen for Anikin’s force ghost. In my opinion the worst retcon he was responsible for. Though we already had made some edits Arsene to Arséne and ascot to cravat. And we forgot his chains so that will be changed. But still I want to be carful and not change too much after publishing.
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Tradition and the New Covenant
Under the old covenant, the responsibility of teaching the Word of God fell to the prophets. Elijah, Elisha, and Isaiah, for example, founded "schools of the prophets" where they would teach the true reading of the Law and the Prophets. Under the old covenant, it was only prophets who received the indwelling of the Spirit, and that only until their death at which point they would wait for Christ. Under the new covenant, however, the whole people of God is given the gift of the Holy Spirit. Joel 2, when it prophesies that "your young men will see visions" and "dream dreams", it is quoting Moses' description of a prophet in Numbers 11. Immediately after Moses says this, he prays that "Would that all the Lord's people be prophets!" The gift of the Spirit at Pentecost fulfills this prayer, when, according to Joel, the Spirit is poured out on "all flesh." Given that the true interpretation of scripture was taught by the prophets in the old covenant, this seems to indicate a special role for the whole body of the Church under the new covenant.
John's Gospel explores the special role that the gift of the Holy Spirit will play in transfiguring the old covenant into the new covenant, with Jesus teaching repeatedly on the Spirit and His miraculous work. According to John 1, the Eternal Son dwells "at the side of the Father." When Jesus is teaching on the Spirit later in the Gospel, we see the Beloved Disciple "at the side" of Jesus- the only two times this word is used. The Beloved Disciple is a literary symbol of the whole Christian people- we are all beloved- "Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end." The message is that through the incarnation and work of Jesus the Messiah, by the gift of the Holy Spirit, we will dwell at the side of the Son as the Son dwells in the side of the Father. I have described all that in order to make apparent the significance of Jesus' words here:
(John 16:12-15) "I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.
St. John has a special focus on the significance of the new covenant in contrast to the old, a theme with which he begins the Gospel- "The law came through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus the Messiah." The gift of the Spirit to the whole Church is one of the most important distinctions the new covenant possesses. Jesus Christ is the Eternal Truth, who is a Witness to the truth of God- and particularly, the true interpretation of scripture, a theme to which the Lord returns again and again in John- "If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for Moses wrote about me." In this context, it is very important that the Holy Spirit is said to be the "Spirit of Truth" who will "take what is mine" (that is, truth) and "declare it to you." The Book of Acts begins by noting that Luke's Gospel was the record of what Jesus "BEGAN to do and teach." By implication, the history of the Church is the ongoing ministry of the Lord Jesus, which begins with the gift of the Spirit at Pentecost.
Scripture and Tradition through the Holy Spirit in John and Revelation
I wish to show that this understanding of tradition is present in the Johannine literature. In order to show this, it is important to set out John’s understanding of the biblical canon as it is reflected in Revelation 10 and John 15.
One of the literary themes of John and Revelation is the completion of the biblical canon. Under the old covenant, after a scriptural text was completed, its author would deposit an official copy of that text in the ark of the covenant. This helps explain why the tripartite biblical canon of Torah, Prophets, Writings has evidence so early. Despite various theories about its alleged development, there is no direct evidence that it developed in this fashion at all. Rather, the Jewish tradition that Ezra finalized the canon of Scripture seems to be well-grounded. As Stephen Dempster and John Sailhamer have shown, the traditional Hebrew canon is ordered in such a way as to create literary links among the books following each other and among the three major divisions- Pentateuch, Prophets, Writings. These literary links were designed to focus the reader’s attention to the unity of scripture and its ultimate purpose in revealing the coming messianic king who would bring about the new exodus and new sanctuary.
As the Church is the new temple of God, in the new covenant the scriptures are deposited in the body of the Church. Canonical consciousness, deeply rooted in the Jewish mindset, is evident among Christian writers from the very beginning. St. Paul states that anyone who does not hold his writings to be the “command of God” should be put out of the assembly, and St. Peter refers to the letters of Paul as scripture. Decades before the Marcionite controversy, Christian authors such as Ignatius of Antioch soaked their own writings with allusions to Old and New Testaments alike. The canon of scripture is a tradition given to the Church by the apostles, who were quite aware of the 27 book canon. Controversies about specific books both 1) tended to develop later, after a preexisting history of acceptance and 2) were relatively local- these 27 books, and only these 27 books, were accepted from the beginning by most of the Christian world as scripture.
The completion of scriptural revelation is part of the emphasis on the uniqueness and glory of the new covenant. John begins his Gospel by speaking of the unique and definitive revelation that has come through the incarnation of the “Word.” As St. Paul says in Hebrews, in various times God spoke by the prophets, but now He has spoken to us by His Son, through whom He spoke the world into existence. In Christ, the Word of God, God has spoken everything it was possible to speak, and the completion of the Bible is the covenantal manifestation of this, just as the Bible began at the definitive beginning of the Sinai covenant under Moses. Hence, at the Supper, Jesus speaks these words:
(John 15:15) No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
“For a little while”, David writes, man was “lower than the angels.” Ultimately, he would be “crowned with glory and honor”, and, as St. Paul says, “judge angels.” Christ does not merely save humankind from sin, though He does that. He also glorifies the human race, developing the creation beyond its status before the Fall. God created man as a spiritual infant- he was naked as a child. In the end, however, man wears robes of glory, the glory-light of God. Jesus’ words here are part of this arc. In Galatians, Paul describes the old covenant as a time of tutelage and childhood. It was managed by angels, whose host was led by the Preincarnate Christ acting as the “Angel of the Lord.”
Through the pistis of Jesus Christ, the Apostle tells us, we have now been adopted as sons and made heirs and rulers of the creation. To speak of “friends” in its biblical context is to speak of the royal court. The friend of the king is the man who has the ear of the king. He sits on his council and provides him counsel on governing the world, as do the elders of King Rehoboam. Revelation shows the departure of the archangels (of whom, if one counts, there are twenty-four, headed by “Another Angel” who is Jesus Christ acting as Angel of the Lord in closing the old covenant) from their thrones, their crowns cast before God’s throne- these crowns are picked up by glorified man according to Revelation 20, particularly those who have reposed in the Lord. As the “second death” is the bodily resurrection of the wicked, so the “first resurrection” is the bodily death of the righteous. Then, the Church “reigns” in Revelation 20 because they have a “share” in the first resurrection.
This is the context for the words of Jesus in John 15. He has told us everything, thereby giving us the wisdom to sit on the thrones of God’s Kingdom. John, by setting these words in the overall context of his Gospel and its theology of the old and new covenants, points to their significance as being fulfilled in the completion of scripture- remember, St. John is writing the last books of the canon in the Gospel, the three letters, and the Apocalypse. This sheds light on why the warning to “neither add nor subtract from the words of this book” is placed at the end of Revelation. St. John knew that this had a broader application than merely the Apocalypse itself. A similar warning had been placed in the final book of the Pentateuch, and this warning applies to the whole Bible.
Now, note this point- John 15, speaking by implication of the completion of the written Word of God, is the very context for the Lord’s words about the Spirit leading God’s children into all truth.
That is, the gift of the new covenant in its revelatory aspect is 1) Scripture, as a single Book by one Divine Author (note the literary correspondence, for example, between Genesis 1-3 and Revelation 20-22) is completed in testifying of the incarnation of Jesus Christ. and 2) the Holy Spirit is given to the Church in whom this heavenly book is deposited, and this Holy Spirit will declare its interpretation to the Church. The Spirit manifests the Word. The Word becomes incarnate, and the Spirit joins man to that incarnation. Likewise, the Logos becomes “textualized” in Scripture, and the Holy Spirit declares its interpretation to the people of God.
Revelation 10 reveals this to us as well, remembering that John and Revelation are deeply integrated theologically and literarily:
(Revelation 10:1-11) Then I saw another mighty angel coming down from heaven, wrapped in a cloud, with a rainbow over his head, and his face was like the sun, and his legs like pillars of fire. He had a little scroll open in his hand. And he set his right foot on the sea, and his left foot on the land, and called out with a loud voice, like a lion roaring. When he called out, the seven thunders sounded. And when the seven thunders had sounded, I was about to write, but I heard a voice from heaven saying, "Seal up what the seven thunders have said, and do not write it down." And the angel whom I saw standing on the sea and on the land raised his right hand to heaven and swore by him who lives forever and ever, who created heaven and what is in it, the earth and what is in it, and the sea and what is in it, that there would be time no more, but that in the days of the trumpet call to be sounded by the seventh angel, the mystery of God would be fulfilled, just as he announced to his servants the prophets.
Then the voice that I had heard from heaven spoke to me again, saying, "Go, take the scroll that is open in the hand of the angel who is standing on the sea and on the land." So I went to the angel and told him to give me the little scroll. And he said to me, "Take and eat it; it will make your stomach bitter, but in your mouth it will be sweet as honey." And I took the little scroll from the hand of the angel and ate it. It was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it my stomach was made bitter. And I was told, "You must again prophesy about many peoples and nations and languages and kings."
The angel here is the Angel of the Lord- the sign of this is that He is called “Another” Angel without a referent to contrast Him with. Moreover, the description of His being crowned with a rainbow is derived from the visible appearance of the God of Israel enthroned “in the likeness of a man” in Ezekiel 1. Here, we are shown the manner in which the mystery of God will be published. In Revelation 11:19, the heavens are opened and the ark of God’s covenant visibly manifested. This is a major theme in St. Paul’s Prison Letters as well. A mystery was “hidden for ages and generations” but is now “revealed to His saints.” The word “saint” is “holy one”, and is the word used in Deuteronomy 33 to describe members of God’s heavenly council, the hosts of the Lord. Prophets are prophets because they have been brought into that council, they have been given access to the secret things of God’s creative governance. When the apostle Paul thus speaks of the revelation of the mystery “to his saints”, we should understand this in light of the heavenly council.
The mystery, however, is veiled behind the Holy of Holies. In the ark of the covenant the scriptures are deposited, and standing beside the ark of the covenant are the two (four in the Temple) cherubim. These cherubim (olive-wood in the Temple- pointing to the Holy Spirit who pours the oil of light on His people) signify the heavenly council. In Revelation, the book which was sealed is opened up and publicly proclaimed- the mystery “hidden for ages and generations” is now revealed. The language of mystery, moreover, is rooted in Daniel 2 and 4. Daniel is given the Spirit of wisdom- and this Spirit gives Daniel the capacity to interpret the revelation of God. This is crucial for my argument here. Daniel ends with the revelation of God being “sealed”, with “time, times, and half a time” predicted. In Revelation 10, we see this very scroll being unsealed as “time no more” is proclaimed.
This, then, is the revelation and interpretation of the mystery hidden in Christ. It signifies the theme described in John’s Gospel as well, that is, the completion of the Holy Scriptures. But there is something more than the completion of the canon here. Seven thunders sound out, and St. John is told not to repeat their words, but seal them up. After this, he is given a scroll to eat, which he does, and then he prophesies. After this, there are seven loud sounds corresponding to the seven thunders in the rest of Revelation.
This feature is about the interpretation of Scripture in the Church Catholic. Instead of dictating out the direct words of God, St. John is to consume them and swallow them into his inner being. The rest of the Book of Revelation is then his interpretation of that mystery he has digested. Man is glorified as he is given a place of more active co-operation with God in the revelation of His Word. In the liturgical structure of Revelation, the Gospel book is brought to the altar in Revelation 4-5. Then, the Book is opened and it is read aloud in the Trumpets, which proclaim the content of the sealed scroll. In Revelation 10, we have the liturgical place for the sermon. With the scriptures having been read aloud, the liturgical celebrant proclaims them according to his own interpretation.
Consequently, we see in Revelation 10 the fundamental duality we saw in John 15-16. Because of the new covenant, God has completed His written revelation in the completion of the canon of Scripture. Moreover, because of the new covenant, the Spirit of wisdom is given to the Church and “leads” the Church “into all Truth.” The Book is first revealed to the Church, and then interpreted through the gift of the Spirit given to the Church. As I explored above, this is the task of the prophets under the old covenant, who taught Israel by establishing schools of the prophets. That the interpretation is given to John in Revelation is significant, because the Beloved Disciple is, as noted above, a symbol for the whole Church. In Revelation 10, Jesus instructs him to “Take, and eat”, words taken from the institution of the Holy Eucharist. The scroll tastes like “honey”, reminding us of the honey-like manna from heaven in Israel’s wilderness wanderings. The Eucharist is what constitutes the Church as the Church, and the Spirit’s gift to John thus points to a commission given to the whole Church of Christ.
This is why we hold tradition to be authoritative. The entirety of the Church inherits the prophetic commission specially given to the prophets of the old covenant. The Truth has been definitively revealed in Jesus Christ, and this Truth is declared consistently to the Church through the vivifying activity of the Holy Spirit. It is the Spirit who, through the Church's history, preserves the authentic Apostolic Tradition and manifests its unfolding implications to the Christian people. I fully believe that the Bible is the Word of God, and absolutely authoritative for the Church. I also believe that the interpretive key to Scripture is the tradition of the Church as it was given to us by the Lord Jesus through His Apostles and manifested and unfolded through the activity of the Holy Spirit of God through history.
That is not to say that each particular text has an "official" interpretation. Rather, it is to say that tradition teaches us the truths of the Christian faith and thus provides a "vantage point" from which I study scripture. If I find a scripture which appears to conflict with tradition, I do not try to force the interpretation- rather, I simply wait for the interpretation to become clear. Over time, my experience is that the interpretation in accord with Holy Tradition will naturally become clear- and it will become clear that even on its own terms, the interpretation matching the Orthodox teaching is objectively superior.
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