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rawrmeansilyindinosawr · 1 year

Text

DONT EVER ASTRAL PROJECT INTO JOISEY

yr on ur way to bodyhack and accidentally k hole a lil too hard in ur own living room and have to hold ur roommates feet / kuddle a bit b4 u go cuz u've never felt that way b4 on k besides the time u did that Laced bullshit like 3 months ago in the comfort of strangers u just met at le bain and yr crush at tha time. who actually wuz NIce a lil but they were like a weird capricorn with a gf N we all kno how poly relationships hav been for moi. Painful n weird. lik LEARN 2 communicate andSTICK2 UR boundaries [ AND DONT TRY TO INTERPRET WHAT THT MEANS BY URSELF IF YR CONFUSED LITERALLY JUST ASK] or just like DON'TTT try to have multiple relationships if u r INCAPABLE Of being responsible WITH MULTIPLE PPLZ FEELINGZZZZZZZ!

I!!!

ANYWEY. FLASHBACK.

We ordered 2g of shitty mexxy Fake ass K n all tha colors IN tha room blended together, u threw up and had to go into fetal position just to feel better cuz u dont rly remember talking but u just remember SURVIVNG Tha weird after party b4 when we all went into some strangers hotel [that i met at a party in LA like a few months back but it wuz like a quick meet outside tha warehouse so lik not rly KNEW the person but] that had a clogged toilet n RANDO EMERGENCIE ROOM SURGEON WHO ASKED U... 'hey…have u ever had k...INSIDE u..' LIK OMG WHAT LE FUK!

!!!!!?

then the weirdo who owned the hotel unclogged tha toilet After LYING and said he'd order room service n tried to stand in between yr friends who were lik just Kutie dancing to the german techno House n then yr crush was tryna like do a cute bubble bath moment with u but it all just got 2 GOT DAM MUCH so we all made a run 4 it. LE LITERALLY.

And this wuz after we walked around tha city, called the sunrise a tequila sunrise then talked ab makin it big 1 day n moving in those big apts in soho. And waiting for 4 uber cars for an hour to give us a ride but then they nvr came/cancelled so we walked 3 blocks n begged a rando with a Family sized lookin sUv to give us a ride to anotha party. like WUZ IT WORTH IT 2 GO 2 A KLOGGED TOILET SCARY HOTEL WITH SCARY SURGEON MAN N PREDATORY WEIRDO. WULD IDO IT AGAIN???? YES!!

u bump into a KUTE designer uve been supportingfor like a year n a half n they They tell U they Hav a crush on u like WAH RLYYYYY. but yr like not interested in starting something new but. IM IN MY NO1 DESERVES MOI ERA !!!!!! TUMBLR BLOGGING CONSISTENTLY ERA!!!!!!! ALL MY 9 OTHER ACCOUNTS R BLENDING TOGETHER ERA! MOI BDAY ERA!!! EXCITED 4!!!! N NOWADAYZZ ERA!

!!!! Yr waiting 4 ur friend n someonecomes up to u and asks u if u sell drugs LIKE WHT DO I LOOK LIKE. anotha gurl told me that nite i look like im poly. LIKE WHAT IS THE POLY AESTHETIC...BC I WULD RLY LIKE 2 MF KNO!!!! Then they proceed to overshare ab autism camp n then ask me if IM THA ONE thats "STILL HIGH' . We find a rubber duckie in tha hammocks n MR RUBBA DUCKIE IS OUR SECURITY GUARD 4 THA NITE while we dance with "fuckboy PRESENTING' kutiez n crave tha K that yr friendz say is from tha nethalandz. Yr high as shit n the sink in tha bathroom looks like a fukin goat n yrthinking of tyler tha creators iconic tweet on03-13-22 "YO IF SOMEONE INVITE U TO A SHOW DONT FUCKIN B LIKE CAN I GET 5 PASSES. NO. COME W 1 GUEST N SHOW SUM FUKIN RESPECC . DONT FUCKIN ASK 4 A FAMILY AMOUNT OFICKETS N SHIT HELL U THINK THIS A CHARITY WHO RAISED U N---GAS KNOW YALL FUKIN PLACE U AINT SPECIAL'

i wanna make a tiktok audio of me saying that but i dont wanna b problematic. N i wanna giv my mum tha rubbie duckie to add to her collection of rubbie duckiez. tha nite ended kute going to a white boys apt who wears kat ears who's name was aaron n we were with another aaron so there were two aarons then we smoked n watched sunrise n listened to the killerz nitecore version tho.

JUST BC IM HIGH A LOT DOESNT MEAN I DONT DO MY LAUNDRY OR TAXES OR AM SEXUALLY PROBLEMATIC OR STUPID. I LIKE CONTROLLED sUBSTANCES WHERE I KAN STILL THINK N AM COGNISCENT OF MY BODY N ENVIONMENT. I WULD LIKE 2 EXPLAIN DIS FURTHER BC I YAM DEFENSIVE N SELF INTROSPECTIVE N AS A LIBRAI WULD LIKE TO SEE ALL SIDES N SCALES N BE RATIONAL IN HOW I APPROACH MYSELF WHEN OTHERS CLEARLY KANNOT C ME 4 WHO I YAM IN ALL OF MY DIFF WAYZ. LIKE I LITERALLY AM FUCKIN RAVE MUM!!!!!!!!! i WULD LITERALLY BRING A FUKIN STALK OF CELERY 2 THA MF CLURB TO MAKE SURE PPLZ GOT SOME10 In THEY TUMMY B4 THEY DECIDE 2 ALCOHOL THEMSULVEZ!!!!!!!!!! I WILLL DYE YR HAIR B4 WE GET TO THA KLUB N WASH IT OUT FOR U N BLOW DRY IT N HELP U PIK OUT UR OUTFITZ THEN MAKE SURE WE ALL HAV A GOOD TIME . RAVE MUM VIBEZ!!!!!!! I HAV NVR PARTIED 2GET MY HOLES SATIATED. I HAV NVR LEFT A PARTY WA STRANGER AT A CLURB W THE INTENTION OF FUK!!!!!!

well. Now dat DAT out of tha way, TECHNO PAGAN IS LITERALLY A FUKIN GOD ANNNNDDD Tha Trinity is not A culmination of one god in three gods but a singular god!!!!!!!!!! THA TRINITY IS A MF SHMEXY

THRUPPLE.

something tht i hav been reflecting on in my nitelife has been the beauty of community i feel when we all stomp n dance together so hard, even in a room full of strangers, we all sit under tha influence of a universal language, something tht we kannot describe with words, something that is not expressed with words - music . ladybird hates club music but i feel like club music has encapsulated so much that normally goes out of my reigns of comfort, it is challenging as an artist to see thingz differently in lens of appreciation , but to feel every genre and every word n instrument n actually react to it has been something i feel like tht keeps me sane. going out has not been something that has just been "fun' for me, i release something into the nite that the nite keeps it for me. lily says i am the moon, the nite , and she is my sun, my day. i think

there is something beautiful about the nite, and how

it holds the darkness for u... it exists 4 a reason,

although scary ..... but i like the way i see the world

more when i am awake thru it, and i appreciate the

day while in fragmented time frames

i Yam SO MF behind on skoool. i wuz supposed to go

2 a truck show where clothing stores showcase a

bunch of new collection pieces kind of like sample

sales] todai but i ended up having a depressive

episode n crying 4 hours to 8485 n blackwinterwells

n helix tearz. idk when i will feel better some dayz, i

just kno my greatest pain / biggest wound is getting

taken 4 granted or being misunderstood / unloved by

the people i hav loved purely ... i hav an innocence to

me, ive realized ... i give ppl tha benefit of tha doubt

b4 they prove anything to meh. i hav been aching,

ive been sinking in my bed, i kant sleep, i dont know

how to proceed when ppl i want to luv me r so

incapable. n even then i am happy to be the 1 who is

hurt at the end of it all, and not them ..

nyfw is coming up n castings have been interesting.

the modeling scene is so small n i've been

recognizing mad ppl in the rando castings i've been

going to n showing up how i do . Cuz ima always b

me and that's what that truly means to me to model

to showcase myself authentically and though Yes i

am sample size - i think beauty is something more

philosophical and subjective than what we kan

condense to merely standardized measurements . I

always found it funni that if u live in model housing ur

like required to go out like three times a week to

make ur agent happie and like it wasn't til i was at lil

sister in st marks / 3rd ave area that i was like kinda

weirded by the modeling party nitelife scene , like it

gave human trafficking vibes from these old ass men

grinding too close to meh and then spilling their

orange ass piss colored drink on moi. like promoters

really pay models to go to these clubs and uber them

back n forth just to make these clubs look better.Butt these clubs ain't even got leg noom????

What wuld u do if u were in the club wiff me and i got

stomped on n I naturally scream MY LEGGGG in

spongebob voice. And Why the FUCK would i pay for

a san pelligrrinno to assimilate to this fancy club

aesthetic ???? LEZ B HONEST .....

.. WE AALLLLL

HATE SAN PELLYGRINO!!!!!!! BLECH!!

so moral of tha storie is take K from musicians who

hurt ur feelings online , support trans mutual aid but

Fuck the trans men that slut shame u for literally

going out n partying, Give they thems money n

Marlboro redz, Take polaroids of urself at nowadayz

then hate being perceived then leave them on the

floor, Sleep with ur contacts in , Don't touch ur

septum ring while K holing , My chemical romance

and pierce the veil are superior, give twinks twinkies,

and Fae/Xe's caramel candiez. And ALWAYS emulate

carrie bradshaw, believe in urself and ur writing and

don't EVERRRRR ASTRAL PROJECT INTO

JOISEY!

stay safe n KUTE and even if u have 4 blisters and 2

corns and 1 bunyon on yr foot just keep remembering

beauty is pain and Just apologize n giggle cutely /

politely decline if someone wanna suck ur toes, it's easy to decline n giggle n decline.

XXOXXXXX, ur fav gossip they , King princess hater

«Ur literally not more gay if u like them cuz they are

literally racist n problematic my friend played the

keys for them on tour so get with it and grow up,

listen to julien baker or Clairo or some shit>, 2021

covid survivor, mosquito bite wear-er, gemini moon

ass chatty ass Cathy ass " Don't u know who i am? energy" emulator, RENNY <3

#blog

0 notes

tomhollandisabae · 3 years

Note

Hi! I LOVE your blog! Can I request a Billy Russo fic where he sees her having fun with an old friend (he doesn’t know it!) and he gets jealous and possessive?? Maybe some fun smut ensues…

No worries though, you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to!

- Butterfly

thank u for ur request luv!❤️

masterlist

requests are open for billy russo smut!

fandom; the punisher

jealousy- billy russo x reader

summary; billy punishes you after seeing you getting cozy with another man

warnings; mature language, mature themes, smut (unprotected sex, spaking, dry humbing, sub/dom, orgasm denial, daddy!kink, oral m.receiving, car sex) MINORS D.N.I. / 18+

words; 2.5k

Tonight, as a Saturday night you had decided to go out one of your old high school friend to drink. Once you had reached the club that you were to meet him, you received a text from billy, but didn’t get to answer because you saw leo at the front door waving at you so you run up to him hugging him tighly.

“hey gurl, see you’ve gotten even more hotter once high school finished” he winked at you.

“nice to see you too leo” you laughed and walked inside the club.

That day you had decided to wear something more sexy, so who wore your favorite red silk dress that was revealing your back to everyone through the thin laces that were holding it together while you matched it with you red stilettos.

When you ordered your drinks you sat with leo and disgusted about your lives, but when you started talking about boys, things got weird.

“so any good looking guy that has gotten your interest lately” he smirked playfully.

“you’re only asking because you wanna steal him from me” you rolled your eyes jokingly.

“mayyybeee…” he teased you and you laughed.

“so, spill the tea” he urged you.

“well there is that one guy… I don’t know, I mean I like him very much, but he’s always sleeping around with women, he is not into commitment so, he’s never seen as nothing more than a friend…” you sighed thinking about all the times that billy has hurt you by sleeping around with all the kind of women apart from you.

“first of all, he’s a douche second of all, I say you make him jealous” he smirked evilly.

“what are you even saying?” you shocked your head.

“I’m that if the man wants you too he will became a beast if he sees you with another man” he told you.

“don’t know, I don’t think that he’ll even care. He’s never asked me about my love life” he lowered your head.

“well I believe that it’s worth the try” he sipped his drink.

Howeve, you didn’t get to answer as you heard your phone ringing. Billy’s name showed in the screen and you gulped.

“girl, is that him?” he said looking at the photo of you and billy on your screen.

“yeah…” you said softly.

“oh he’s hot” he exclaimed “well what are you waiting for? Pick it up… and don’t forget what we said” he said winking at you.

You finally took a deep breath and answered.

“yes?” you tried to sound less nervous.

“y/n are you okay? You read my message but didn’t answer?” he asked kind of panicked.

“oh sorry, might have forgotten to answer you because I’m out” you said.

“oh, you went out with Karen? I thought that she was having a date with frank” you heard him confused.

“no, I’m not out with Karen…” you simply said.

“then with who are you out?” he sounded even more confused now.

“babe, wanna dance?” leo said loudly close the phone and your eyes widened.

“y/n…” billy said.

“I’m on a date billy. Gotta go now, I’ll text you tomorrow” you said and hung up the phone not letting him respond.

“you go girl!” leo looke at you proudly.

“he won’t even mind leo, anyways…” you sighed and with that you changed topic.

A couple hours later you were a little bit tipsy and sitting on leo’s lap laughing when you felt someone grabbing your wrist dragging you towards them.

“what the f—“ you didn’t get to finish as you show billy right in front of you.

“the hell you think you’re doing y/n?” he asked glancing towards leo.

“I’m having fun, what are you doing here billy?” you asked confused.

“not anymore. You’re leaving” he said sternly.

“no I’m not! What the hell is wrong with you billy?” you exclaimed furiously.

“I won’t say it again you’re coming with me” his eyes burning holes into yours.

“fuck you billy” you while shoving him away and making your way your of the club, feeling like shit.

Once outside you started walking when someone yanked you behind making you crush onto their stern.

“what th—“ and suddenly hot lips were on top of yours.

You gasped into the kiss feeling the familiar cologne filling your nostrils. You deepened the kiss and billy kissed you even more passionately pressing you against a car door while his hands started roaming your body as yours made their way into his hair.

When he broke the kiss he moved his lips towards your jaw and then started nibbling at your neck, making sure to leave marks for tomorrow morning. One of his hands travelled downwards and grabbed one of your legs, wrapping them around his waist as he grinded against your core.

You threw your head backwards and moaned soundly as he bit at the mark he left on your neck, before guiding his lips on your chest while grasping one of your breasts in his firm hand.

You were already feeling yourself dripping and you knew that your panties were drenched.

“billy…” you moaned.

“I’m gonna give you this one orgasm right here babe, because when we get at your place I promise you that you won’t cum until the morning” he whispered into your ear as he was grinding even more against your heat.

“fuck” you groaned as you came undone just by that, soaking your panties.

“tale off your panties and give them to me” he instructed you.

“we’re in public” you exclaimed.

“you just came” he raised an eyebrow ad you sighed leaning down and taking off your panties before handing them to him.

“fuck, you soaked them baby” he kissed you again hungrily as he took your hand once you broke apart and guided you towards his car.

When you hopped in his car he unzipped his pants and patted his lap for you to sit on him. When you did so he plopped your dress around your waist and lowered you onto him.

“fuck” it was now his turn to throw his head backwards.

“oh fuck billy” you moaned as he started guiding you on top of him with his hands on your ass cheecks.

Suddenly you felt a hard slap on your ass.

“who was he?” he said as he started thrusting upwards with more ferocity.

You only moaned but didn’t answer.

Another slap.

You couldn’t even form any kind of words as he was practically ruining you.

Another slap, and another and another…

Your ass was burning and you were sure that it was red.

“you still didn’t answer me babygirl, so I say that your punishment is not over yet” as you were about to cum, he pulled you off of him and placed you roughly on the passenger seat.

“billy…” he grabbed your jaw.

“there is no billy baby” he said through gritted teeth.

“daddy…” you cried out as he brushed his fingers against your lips.

“that’s my girl” he pushed two fingers inside your mouth as you started sucking on them.

When he pulled them away he guided them towards your heat and pushed them inside you making you gasp as you started riding his fingers before he pushed a third one in.

“fuuck” you grasped his hand keeping it in place as you tighten even more around him.

Of course, once you were about to cum again he pulled his fingers out and licked them clean before he started to pump his cock while he started the car.

“come on babe, you have to show me that you deserve to cum” you said without looking at you “the night is still young” he smirked and you mouthed dropped as you finally leaned down to take him in your mouth.

Not wanting to upset him even more you immediately wrapped your lips around his tip as you lowered your head while you nose was hitting his pubic bone with every bob of your head.

He was driving while his hand was in your hair guiding your head up and down.

“you can do better” he said coldly and you rolled your eyes as you took him even deeper so that his tip was hitting the back of your throat as you were trying not to gag.

“fuck babe, you’re doing amazing” he moaned and you hallowed your cheeks even more as you felt twitching in your mouth.

“fuck I’m gonna fucking cum inside your pretty mouth. Would you like that baby?” he asked and you loudly moaned around him.

“fuck” and with that he spilled in your mouth.

“don’t swallow” he demanded.

You pulled your head up as you noticed that he had parked outside of your apartment. He pulled you by your hair as he crushed your lips together making your tongues fight each other. When you broke the kiss he grasped at your jaw so you opened your mouth- still filled with his cum- as he spit inside it.

“now swallow” he smirked as he saw you swallowing before you opened your mouth again sticking out your tongue showing him that you did as you were told.

“such a good girl you are” he said as he tucked himself in his pants.

“get out princess” he commanded.

As you entered your apartment he shoved you against the door and kissed you harshly while he grabbed your ass making you jump onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist as your hands were tangled in his hair.

He then started walking towards your bedroom and where he reached his destination he set you on your feet and unlinked the laces of your dress letting it drop onto the floor and then pulled away to admire you in all your naked glory.

“get on the bed and spread your legs for me princess” he said and you turned around to do so as you felt a light slap on your ass cheek that made you yelp.

“sorry, couldn’t help it” you saw him smirking and dropped onto the bed spreading our legs and showing him your glistening folds.

“fuck” he exclaimed and undressed himself as he got between your legs once naked and places small kisses above your clit.

Suddenly he came on top of you and started kissing your lips as you felt him lining up with your entrance.

“don’t you dare come without my permission” he said as he pushed in fully in one go making you scream.

“understood?” he said as he stilled inside you.

“yes” and then a smack fell onto your left breast.

“yes what?” he said through gritted teeth.

“yes daddy” you moaned and he started pounding in and out of you as he said a rough pace while he grabbed your legs and put them on its of his shoulders making them almost touch the space next to your head.

“fuck fuck fuck” you screamed as he pounded inside you unmercifully.

“fuck babygirl you feel so fucking good” he breathed out as he bit slightly you ankle.

“tell me baby, who’s this pussy?” he asked.

“yours… yours… it’s yours daddy” you yelled as you felt your high nearing but once again he pulled out and flopped you around so that you laying on your stomach with your ass in the air.

“such a perfect ass you’ve got babygirl” he said stroking softly before slapping it.

“ahh” you screamed.

“tell me now baby, who was that man?” he asked fo the second time tonight.

“I will not stop spanking you until you tell me” he exclaimed and started spanking your ass non-stop.

“ahh” you screamed from the pleasure.

“tell me!” he demanded.

“my—my best friend—fuck…” you felt tears sticking in your eyes “from… high school” you finally said and he stopped.

You breathed out as he turned you back around and got on top of you.

“and what were you doing together baby?” he asked while stroking your cheek softly.

You had wrapped your legs around his waist because it hurt so bad to feel the cold sheets against your sore ass.

“I told him to go out, didn’t know that you’d be so mad about it” you said as tears made their way onto your cheeks.

“why you lied to me?” he questioned you again.

“what?” you asked confused.

“that you were on a date, it wasn’t hard to understand you know that he was gay” he said.

“billy—“ another slap.

“who?” he gritted his teeth.

“daddy…” you breathed out as he caressed your ass carefully.

“much better” he was looking you in the eye “now, tell me” he urged you.

“he thought that it would be a good idea to make you jealous because I told him that I liked you, but that you didn’t feel anything towards me so that he said if I made you jealous I would know If that was true or not” you sobbed.

“don’t cry baby” he said softly as he finally pushed inside you once more.

“don’t cry because it worked” he kissed your lips as he started pumping in and out of you in a very slow pace.

“what?” you asked confused when you pulled away from the kiss.

“I got jealous y/n” he admitted you and you gasped as he thrust inside of you hard.

“billy…” you breathed out as your legs stated shacking around his waist.

“I like you y/n, a lot” he said brushing his lips against yours.

“ugh…” you couldn’t form any kind of words as you felt you high approaching you for the millionth time that night.

“fuck y/n, cum baby, cum for me” he said not taking his eyes off of yours as you came around his cock clenching him making him groan as he spilled inside you.

Once you both had caught your breaths, he kissed you softly and placed his forehead against yours.

“was this too much?” he asked concerned.

“fuck no billy, I loved it!” you exclaimed happily pulling him in a tight hug.

“you’re amazing y/n” he said and kissed your collarbone.

“however…” you said naughtily and pushed him off of you, while chuckling at the confused expression on his face.

“it was indeed too much…” you smirked.

“y/n…” he didn’t get to finish as you got on top of him.

“too much for my social life. I don’t think that I’ll be able to go out like that for at lest a couple of weeks” you laughed and he sighed in relief.

“then I have to make this couple of weeks worth your staying in the house” he smirked.

“hmm I think that I might take you on this offer” you smirked and leaned down to kiss his lips once more.

------------------------------------------------------------

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#marvel #fanfic #imagines #netflix #billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo x reader #billy russo one shot #billy russo x y/n #billy russo x you #billy russo x female reader #billy russo smut #the punisher #series #ask #request

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thefloorisbalaclava · 3 years

Note

hi lovie how r u? I dunno if u r taking requests, but maybe... I was thinking something where Javier starts to get a little bit cold towards y/n cos he saw horrible things that the narcos, pablo sicarios, did to some woman's relative to some other guys, including to Connie's cat and he's scared as hell they do something to y/n but when he realizes she's so sad and down, peña stars to show little acts of love in secrecy, like a note, one flower, a ring, just I don't know some angst and fluffy sorry for this long ass ask. thank you for your good posts ♡

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of violence, flashbacks, trauma, mentions of sex

A/N: My friend and I have been talking about Javi a lot lately so you sent this at the perfect time! Thanks!

[Javier Peña masterlist]

“Are you coming to see me today?” you asked Javier over the phone. He looked around the office then lowered his voice.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He regretted it almost immediately.

“I haven’t seen you in a week, Javi,” you reminded him. It was becoming plainly obvious that he was trying to avoid you or at least distance himself from you. What had you done wrong?

“I’ve been...busy,” he said. It wasn’t exactly a lie but just a few weeks ago, he had made time to see you almost every day.

“Right,” you sighed. You looked at the bags of groceries you bought to make dinner for you and him tonight. “Whatever.”

Javier sighed loudly. “I’ll call you later. I-” You hung up before he could finish whatever it was he was going to say. He slammed the phone down on the receiver and put his head in his hands. “Fuck,” he whispered.

He knew getting involved with you was a bad idea and not because you weren’t good or anything like that. If anything, you were too good. Fucking perfect. You were his safe haven, his softness, his saving grace. And that was the problem. You saved him but what if he couldn’t save you? He had seen what could happen to you. If anyone wanted to hurt him, you’re the first person they would go after and he couldn’t have that. He experienced firsthand with someone he loved and, God, he couldn’t live through that again. So he had to leave you.

Because he loved you.

You stared at him in awe as he stood in front of you and told you this. Then you scoffed and turned away. It was all you could do to stop yourself from slapping him in his stupid, beautiful face.

“To protect me?” you repeated bitterly. “Just say that you don’t wanna be with me and stop using work as an excuse.”

“I’m not here to argue with you,” he said calmly.

“No, you’re only here to break my heart,” you snapped. “Well...you can go.”

“Okay but-”

“No! Just go...please.” You couldn’t look at him mostly because you were so angry but also because you didn’t want him to see the tears in your eyes. “I’m sure there’s a woman out there who will happily welcome you back into her bed.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he said and finally you whipped around to look at him.

“Fuck you, Javier.” You didn’t care if he saw the tears now. “If you’re being cold and indifferent to try and make this easier...fine. It worked. Get out. I never want to see you again.” You stormed away only to grab the pack of cigarettes he left on your table for when he came over. “Don’t forget these.” You threw the pack, hitting him directly in the face.

He scoffed and picked the cigarettes up then turned to the door. He stopped as if he was going to say something but then you heard the door close behind you and he was gone. Only when he was back in his car did he let his emotions show. His eyes filled with tears and he hit the steering wheel over and over again before putting his head against it. He tried lighting a cigarette but his hands shook so badly that it was impossible. Another burst of anger as he threw his lighter somewhere in his car.

He had to do it. Right? He had to. He couldn’t stand having another one of those dreams about finding Helena only for her to change into you when he got close enough.

There were plenty of nights where he would sit outside your place in his car just to make sure you got home okay. He was dreading the day he saw a man following you inside. He also wondered if you got any of the notes and gifts he left for you. This was the safest thing for now.

You sighed and rolled your eyes when you found another note from Javier slipped under your door, another little gift for you on the table, and a bottle of your favorite wine. The first time it happened you could only laugh to yourself when you remembered that he still had a key to your place.

As always, you threw everything in the garbage.

Except for the notes. For some reason you couldn’t part with them. Maybe because they smelled like him--that faint smell of his soap mixed with the smell of his cigarettes. Maybe because when you read them you did so in his voice. That goddamn voice of his and how it could change so quickly. Sometimes it was sweet and welcoming with just enough rasp to give him that air of that bad boy type. Other times it was low and growly which was usually reserved for when he was inside you, talking dirty to you, calling you a bad girl but how you were so good for taking him so well.

You closed your eyes and bit your lip at the thought.

“Enough,” you said quietly, walking over to grab that unopened bottle of wine from the top of the trash.

Some nights you felt like you were being watched when you walked home from work but not in a threatening way. If Javier was watching you he kept himself hidden well because you could never find his car when you stopped to look for it.

You touched the necklace you wore as you turned the corner to your apartment and Javier watched. It made him sit up a bit when he noticed you were wearing it. He waited until he was sure you were settled down--he knew you had to ear dinner, shower, then watch a little television before you really got ready for bed.

Then he called.

“Hello.” You answered on the third ring like you always did. He didn’t know what to say. Hey, I’m sorry I was an idiot? Hey, I’ve been watching you come home every night like some creep? “Hello?” He could hear the slight annoyance in your tone.

“I-It’s me. It’s Javi,” he finally said.

“Oh...”

“Don’t hang up!” He added quickly.

“I want my key back,” you said.

“So you’ve been getting them?” he asked.

“Getting what?” You looked down at the necklace then touched it.

“The gifts I’ve been leaving you.” He looked up at your window and could see your silhouette through the curtains.

“I throw them all away,” you lied.

“I don’t blame you.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I miss you.”

You were quiet for a long time--afraid to speak because you knew what would happen if you did. “I miss you too,” you cried, sniffling quietly. Javier’s heart ached. He wanted nothing more than to run up those stairs and into your arms. But as soon as he closed his eyes he could only see you lying there, beaten and bloody, all because he couldn’t leave you alone.

“I’m gonna hold you again one day,” he said. “I promise. We’re both gonna get the fuck outta here...so far away. No one will be able to find us.” His throat tightened as his own tears threatened to spill over. “Look out the window...”

“What?”

“Just look out the window.” He looked up at your window just in time to see you carefully pull the curtains back slightly. “Hey hermosa.”

“Hey handsome,” you said tearfully.

“No llores,” he said although there was a tear rolling down his cheek now. “Please, don’t cry.”

“Promise me you’ll hold me again, you’ll kiss me again, you’ll make love to me again,” you cried.

“I promise. I swear to you.” He looked up and saw that you put your hand against the window so he put his against the car window. “I love you.”

“I love you too...you asshole.” You laughed through your tears and it made him smile.

“Goodnight,” he said quietly, not wanting to let you go.

“Goodnight, Javi.” You hung up and walked away from the window. It would hurt too much to watch him drive away.

javi taglist: @allthingsnarcos @josepedropascal @oof-dindjarin @xjustmenobodyelse @rach7 @limenlimon @windfallss @findhimfives @the-bird-suit @oldstuffnewstuff @hoodedbirdie @fakenoods @nathan-bateman @helga1031 @triggerhappyflygirl @master-obi-wan-kenboneme @ladybeediva @heythere80sbaby @16boyfriends-and-me @laymegentlytorest @jeeperky @dee-rosemary @stanfordscrush @panda-angela @dindjstarin @simsiddy @deserttastesbitter @lightan117 @terrormonster55 @darnitdraco @dindjarinneedsahug @queenbbarnes @hells-bells-x @elizabeth-von-winken-universe @dodgerandevans @slugbuggie @allmahfeels @nemo-my-name-forevermore @marvelousmermaid @queridopascal

permanent taglist: @magicsuperheroes @feelmyroarrrr @the-dazzling-urbanite @phoenixhalliwell @liveloudwriteloud @tumblogbykarapaloma @jaime1110 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @pascal-isaac @dazedrhapsody @pascalisthepunkest @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @tiffdawg @freak-of-nature2002 @kingpascals @saltywintersoldat @theocatkov @mandilflorian @cyaredindjarin @themarcusmoreno @the-feckless-wonder @loki-098 @arabellathorne @dindisneydjarin @punkpascal @opheliaelysia @takens-world @huliabitch @stardelic @kandomeresbitch @havenforafrazzledmind @thisis-theway @stardust-galaxies @mrsparknuts @jedi-mando @frankiemorales @edencherries @lilkermit14 @virtualxjournality @thirstworldproblemss @emesispo @heresathreebee @tangledlove27 @marvgrrl @hayley-the-comet @insoucianttt @witchyavenger @coaaster @starless-eyes-remain @wanderlustmags @wonderfulfluffer @lv7867 @pedropasscals @pedroepascal @wigwitch @seasonschange-butpeopledont @theoria850 @roxypeanut @autumnleaves1991-blog @kenedyybrooklin @artsymaddie @dindjareen @silverfish-kingdom @heyitmelexie @gredandfeorgesgirl @mandaloriandindjarin @moonlight-prose @rosiefridayrogersunday @ssppoorrkk @amalie-buch @lucifer- @mstgsmy @randomness501 @darthadeline @youarenewformetoo @thehippiequilter @whovian-gurl @neverlandlibrarian @chibi-liz05 @dragons-of-the-usa @over300books @borderlinedindjarin @mudhornchronicles @cosmoschick @linkpk88 @lovingramsey @djvrins @escapedthesarlacc @coni-martina @pedrospunk @burrshottfirstt @jitterbugs927 @xserenax-13 @anatanotegami @doin-stuff @djarinsruni @aerolanya @icanbeyourjedi @bison-writes @strangelittlenobody @dinsbeskar @sarahjkl82-blog @neontiiger @houseofthirst @intu-witch-tion @ennuiandthebourgeoisie @littlebopper96 @boxdyeblonde @empressamidala @myheart-pedro @mtjoi @purplepascal042 @goalkeepernerd @rebelliouscat @leaiorganas @eternallyvenus @mandocrest @kellyozz @the-wishmonger @maythxthirstbxwithyou @andiebell2023 @moonlightburned @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @leonieb @freeshavocadoooo @auroraariza @kalimont83 @notabotiswear @martellthemandalor @beesting77 @medeasmiles @diaryofkali @mando-amando @venusdjarin @mystical-934 @blackmarketmummy @hauntedmama @mamacitapascal @insomniamamma @pedro4ever @greeneyedblondie44 @mitchi-c @prideandpascal

#javier peña #headcanon #narcos #carstwirs

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aqqleshiqqing-archive · 3 years

Note

Hey there Jil! Hope you've been doing alright! 🥺 If you could do me a favor, I'd love to hear you gush about whoever's on your mind right now! Maybe you have some new f/os or crushes we can hear more abt? 💝💝💝

RUBYY AHGHJ I feel okay lately thanks to you too! 💕💕 thank you again for giving me that opportunity to help me vent out my feelings 💕

okay... so uh, this guy. I didn't F/O him yet but like the urges are SO strong rn lol and I've been thinking about him a lot lately and I've noticed myself being so audible about him to my friends and my private gushes (which rarely happens but wuh) he's from a game I've started playing just the beginning of this month and it's gen.shin im.pact (you mightve seen him around my blog at some point) but it's chil.de!! i really really like him 👉👈 (who am I kidding I talked about him for 3 days straight nonstop)

gurl help he has been plaguing my mind and he happened to be the eng VA of one of my comfort characters so that's an extra BOOST and I love his voice sm HAJSJJEJDJE

you can't imagine the stuff I had to say everytime he appears on my game (he isn't as common to see in the game atm so I get so so excited when he comes around) and I can't even progress in the story BECAUSE I'M JUST SCREAMING ABOUT HIM TO MY FRIENDS (looking at 2 ppl here who had to witness me in my mess hello im sorry)

everytime he just does something I go in a screaming mess and I had to constantly suppress myself from going insane 😔👊 I just finished a quest where I had dinner with him + someone for a business meeting but inside I was just chanting ITS A DATE ITS A DATE ITS A DATE-

not to prolong this post but ill do anything to bring back his banner (aka a chance for me to get him as a playable because he's limited) because I'll just be listening to him talk and just watch him be SUPER COOL u bet ur ass I'm gonna main him if opportunity granted itself

#I STILL HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY AAAAAAAAAAAA #ohfk.... I love him so so much aaadkejdj!!!#I have a stupid amount of screenshots of me just crying about him it's almost hilarious and I love it #🍀 gushes #🍀 inbox #❇️ ruby!#childe.rom #I'm not sure where to say this in my post but the moment he called me girlie I was a changed person #usually I think girlie is a weird word but it hit different when it was him BBASHHSSH #i like to call him narwhal too and I called him reigen once LMAO

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v1olentdelights · 3 years

Note

WOHOOO GRACE IM SO PROUD OF YOU GURL!!!! like you deserve it!! your blog and yourself brings me so much happiness and u deserve all the success and love in the world! i’m also requesting a few more prompts to keeps this baddie party going hehehe 😁💅🏼.

😈- here’s is my outfit

——————————————————————-

🔥 - can you write a scenario where peter parker teaches y/n to swing around the buildings and city like he does. i’m gonna do a miraculous lady bug reference. (if you don’t know the characters are lady bug and cat noir and they are both super heroes. i kinda saw a pattern bc bug superhero with cat partner and i love cat noir so why not do the same.) peter parker is going to wear these lady bug wings cuz why not and y/n could wear a suit like that with a bell collar. y/n is really excited and confident and flirts with peter. when she shows up she catches peter staring at her new suit and says “you like my suit too pete~” and y/n giggles and spider was flustered the whole time but taught her. y/n got a little to excited and was about to swing but peter blurted out something random lol. y/n came near him and bopped his nose and said “tag your it 😁” peter was confused bc she’s just a beginner but y/n striker back by saying “awww is the itsy bitsy spider too scared~” and they have so much fun. the end AND Imagine if y/n accidentally trips and peter catches y/n and holds onto her (bridal style) and everyone’s watching and y/n says “we look really cute like this” and peter kisses her” peter is going to wear these ladybug wings with his super suit. here’s peters baddie ladybug wings 😫😝 and y/n suit (i tried so hard to find something for y/n loll)

💔also here’s a short description for the ship request.

and last but not least

🔞- why do i feel like peter parker is secretly a dom and thor is secretly a sub 🤠🤲🏻

that’s it!!! and congrats!!!

😈 ~ Your outfit??? Superior, it looks like it would be in Clueless!

Marvel: I think that Sam Wilson would accompany you to the Bad Girl Bash. He loves your color scheme! I also feel like Sam loves the 90's why? Idk but I just feel like he does and this heavily reminds him of the 90's!

Harry Potter: Ronald Weasley!! He LOVES the colors, and just how sleek and beautiful you look. His favorite part is the cheetah print hat and bag!! And the choker...

🔥 ~ I will be tagging you in this :)!

💔 ~ heheh you sound amazing!

Marvel: Tony Stark he loves everything about you but one of his favorite things is your attitude. Your boldness, and your dramatic personality, he loves when you are courageous, and your wit :)

Harry Potter: Cedric Diggory though... He is in absolute aw of how much you can change your style and still look amazing. He also loves your hair, it is just so entrancing. You and him are often running around and playing with you ~ your clothing choices helping you in your activities!!

nsfw under the cut ;)

🔞~ Okay so, yes. I feel like Peter although is very reserved and shy. He is still a teenage boy, and all of everything is heightened for him He looooves having control over something. Because obvious, his anxiety rules him, and the villain's of the world kind of take things away from him. - So I think at first when y'all started progressing in your relationship he was worried. Because he wanted to be "in charge" but he didn't know if it was alright with you, and he never wanted to hurt you. But when you talked it out he was like so freakin elated! He still has his time where he wants to be dominated (weirdest thing to say :/ ...) But he just loves being in charge.

Opposite thing for Mr. Odinson. He is in charge all the time, he takes the front of everything. So he loves when you come along and just like basically have him on his knees. He also finds someone in charge so vey hot. Like not even when you are in the bedroom. When you are helping direct something in Asgard, he's just stunned by you taking the lead.

#graces200 #ships #nsfw.grace #blurb #riri!

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noritoshiikamo · 3 years

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hello hellloooooo it’s mahito anon! 💗 AND OMG im so sorry that i couldn’t write to you these days. school is such a pain in the ass and since it’s nearing the half of my quarter i had so much work due and essays to do too. luckily, it’s all mostly done now. I REALLY HOPE YOU’RE DOING BETTER FROM THE LAST TIME I WROTE TO YOU! the last time i wrote was like a week ago?? :(( again so sorry for the long time because i genuinely want to know how you’ve been doing. how has your melatonin dosage been? feel free to ignore that if it’s too personal. i just hope your depression hasn’t been too affected and worsening through the days. also, have you been wearing your newly thrifted pants? I BET YOU LOOK GREAT LIKE DJAKSJAKAB GO YOU! i hope you feel okay in them and are confident CAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE GIVING LOOKS GURL. the mahito alphabet was great— all your works are great! talking about that, i just came back on this app AND SEE YOUR NEW WORKS??? PROF GETO??? SUN GOD TOSHI??? OH MY GOD MY BRAIN FUZZY. it’s so good. YOU UNLOCKED LIKE SOME HEAVY BREEDING KINK IN ME WITH THAT TOSHI FIC— LIKE UNLIMITED CUM???? YES PLEASE. ALL YOUR WORK IS AMAZING and im gonna try and catch up as much as possible after writing this! i WASNT able to read much because i came on the app and thought to write to you since i usually do so— but your little drawings of yourself for the reboots are so cute! LIKE OMG YOUR HAIR IS SO PRETTY. YOURE SO PRETTY. IM CRYING LIKE MARRY ME PLS. ALSO YOUR CATS ARE SO CUTE LIKE??? PLEASE MORE CAT CONTENT IF POSSIBLE. I LOVE YOUR CATS SO MUCH THEY ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE AND GIVE ME SEROTONIN. i don’t wanna make this too long because maybe some people will hate me for making them scroll long on your blog to read one of your amazing works LOL but— i really hope you’re doing well! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY AND HAPPY!! 💗💗 also, i’ve been rewatching jjk and thinking about haruta a lot... like he’s such a cute little blonde boy. OKAY LEMME SHUT UP KITH KITH MUAH MWAH PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 💗💗💗💗

djkddnjdj MY BRAIN WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND HOW MUCH I MISS YOUR LOVE LETTER AND HERE YOU ARE 💗💗 congrats on completing much of your work!!! hopefully all my updates shall be a good reward for uu i suggest starting with professor geto 💦

djjdjdj im doing good, im off melatonin but im doing good on the sleeping department mostly bcs im fasting so i tend to get tired easily 💀 wel depression is being a pain in the ass but what can i do other than buying mangas 🤧 i love my new pants too it help filled the void HAHAHAHAHAH and pls my actual hair is gross im waiting to outgrow my mullet so i can dyed it like inosuke from kny, blue on the bottom bcs my mum would die if i dyed whole head blue (last time i dyed my whole head red and she called me a clown 🤡) and psst i accept ur proposal if u can stand me and my 8 cats pspspspps hope youre doing good and OH MY GOD I STARTED WATXHING FRUIT BASKET AND I BEEN BAWLING MY EYES ESPECIALLY BCS OF HATORI AND KANA AND I HAVENT BEEN UPSET OVER ANIME SINCE I WATCHED ORANGE DURING MY FINAL EXAM WEEK AND CAME TO THE FINAL WITH SWOLLEN EYES IF U HAVE ANY SUGGESTION ON ANIME PLS LEMME KNOW I finished kny and idk how to act rn kith kith i love you too bb 💗💗💗

#💗.mahito anon #bdkdmdkdkk #look its my love letter uwu #besties #tee: answered

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unsoundedcomic · 5 years

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Can you give a little more detail about hosting one's own site for their comic? That option is sounding very appealing. If you don't mind answering: how much does it cost you per month? Is basic knowledge of HTML and CSS enough? When you run into problems, who do you go to for help?

Oh, Anon, it’s so easy! Basic knowledge of HTML and CSS is certainly all you need. All you are doing (assuming your webcomic is just a standard series of unmoving pages) is sticking a static image on an HTML page and making a link back, forward, and to the index. Basic! Copy Unsounded’s html code if you want (just change the artwork pls thx)!

With just a little HTML/CSS knowledge, you are free. You can break borders, do animation, do wacky CSS fades and transitions, rotate images, make them translucent, make them glow, make them judder around violently. It can really break you out of the restrictive comic book box we all put ourselves in for no bloody good reason :D I would love to see more of this! Make my eyes bleed!

But you don’t have to. You can also just display your traditional page.

You’ll probably want an update blog where you can have people comment each time you upload and that will put out an RSS feed, but even then you can go ahead and use something like Tumblr or even a Wordpress installation without endangering the comic itself. These are their own topics, but a little Googling will give you all the info you need.

But for the comic itself, I really think one’s comic should be sequestered, and I hate seeing a comment section under every page. It’s immersion breaking, and there will always be the danger of someone getting into those scripts and compromising the heart of your site: the display of your artwork. I don’t care how paranoid or old-fashioned this sounds. Listen to Auntie Ashley! Don’t do it! :D

As for cost - ten bucks a month, if that, and then a flat fee to buy your URL. You can have your own URL, Anon! It’s badass. Chicks will swoon. Blokes be like daaaaaaaaamn gurl, u a hacker?

I could give you a little primer on how all this works, but smarter people than me have already done the job. Many, many years ago I taught myself HTML just by going through this site. It looked way different then, but it’s still got all you need to get started. I didn’t learn this in school, I just tinkered, followed tutorials, copy and pasted code now and then, and bam. If you need help, Google your issue and you will find two dozen years’ worth of people with the same issue, and the answer to it.

Other people will tell you this is all a waste of time. I could not disagree more. If you are a webcomic artist, HTML and CSS are essential tools in your toolbox!

Look at that, I bolded that shit. I believe in it, deep in my guts.

I believe that a webcomic artist refusing to learn any code is like refusing to learn how to draw hands or colour. Some code is good for you and it’s very good for your art. Webcomics live on the internet. We need to understand our home!

So do it! All of you! Take the power back. :D

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flyingsculptures · 5 years

Text

50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @sadienita, ur wonderful and ily

1. What takes up too much of your time? Stressing about doing things rather than actually doing them lolol

2. What makes your day better? If it’s been a bad day, then coming home and having a massive vent sesh with my roommate

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? My coworkers and I all get along, but this morning everyone was in a really good mood and joking around with each other, it was fun!!

4. What fictional place would you like to go? King Kai’s Planet in dragon ball z, that shit looks peaceful af

5. Are you good at giving advice? sometimes, depending on the topic

6. Do you have any mental illness? I do, issues with depression mostly, but anxiety as well, but things have been SO much better since I’ve gone to therapy and started medication

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? YEAH BRUH SHITS SCARY

8. What musician inspired you the most? this is gonna sound lame af, but debussy. i’m a classically trained musician and playing his pieces shaped me

9. Have you ever fallen in love? i’ve been in love with someone once, but they didn’t love me back the same way. it hurt but i’m glad i’ve experienced what it’s like to feel that way about someone

10. What’s your dream date? tbh i’m a sucker for coffee dates, but only if i know the other person at least a little bit. otherwise, maybe a museum?

11. What do others notice about you? i dunno, you’d have to ask them i guess, but i’ve been told i can be stubborn and that i care too much

12. What is the annoying habit you have? sometimes i can run over the end of peoples sentences in conversations, i think. i promise it’s only bc im excited

13. Do you still talk to your first love? lol NO

14. How many ex’s do you have? two my dude

15. How many songs are on your playlist? binch which playlist, i’m a playlist QUEEN. I think my biggest one has over 300

16. What instruments can you play? i’m a classically trained pianist, started when i was 4 or 5. because i have such a solid theory base, i can usually pick up most things, at least a little bit

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? i have a ton of pictures on my phone rn of my parents when they were super young, but otherwise maybe my roommate?

18. Where would you like to go before you die? i would want to go back to ireland, but i would want to go with my family

19. What is your zodiac? both moon and sun in taurus, ascending in leo *finger guns*

20. Do you relate to it? I don’t know how much i actually believe astrology, but i do know i’m stubborn as hell, and fairly grounded

21. What is happiness to you? watching other people be stupid happy, like not in general, but experiencing something that just makes their face light up

22. Are you going through anything right now? all day erryday

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? trying to do what made my parents happy instead of what made me happy

24. What’s your favorite store? a local store called Stick it in Your Ear, they sell records and cds and stuff

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? Pro-choice, i can’t tell anyone what to do with their own body

26. Do you keep a bucket list? mmm not really, i don’t like putting that stress on myself lolol

27. Do you have a favorite album at the moment? i listen to playlists rather than albums these days tbh, so i can’t think of any

28. What do you want for your birthday? to see my KC friends, i miss them :(

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? i’ve been told i’m really intimidating when you first meet me, but once u get to know me you’ll just realize i’m a bit different (i’m NoT lIKe oThER GurLS)

30. What age do you seem according to most people? I get told a lot that i’m an old soul, whatever tf that means, i feel like i’m a living meme

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? my mattress is on the floor, so plugged in next to my head

32. What word do you say the most? ”listen”, i tend to start sentences with it

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? probs, like, 26? so about 3, 4 years older

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? i’m gonna be 23 this year, so 21 would be my limit. any younger and they feel like a baby to me

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? what would SUIT me the most? ur asking me about the thing i’ve struggled w most in my life, IDK

36. What’s your favorite music genre? pretty much anything that isn’t stadium country or absolute shrieking is a genre i’m cool with, but i really enjoy post punk revival, like modern baseball (and then of course kpop lololol)

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? i don’t think i could permanently live anywhere else, i’m too attached to my friends and family

38. What is your current favorite song? Making Breakfast by Twin Peaks

39. How long have you had this blog for? oh goodness, im not sure (i just checked and holy shit i’ve had it since aug 2012, dam)

40. What are you excited for? im not sure, it sounds sad but nothing much right now. i’m kinda just coasting and keeping my head down, which isn’t bad

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think both, but since i’ve broken out of my shell i tend to do a lot more talking which i’m not super pleased about

42. What is the last productive thing you did? TAXES HELL YEAH MURICA

43. What do you want for Christmas? time, just time

44. What class do you get the best grades in? in high school it was english, college it was design and media classes

45. On a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? a 6 i guess, a bit stressed atm

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? bruh i aint got the foggiest, i didn’t think i’d make it this far

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i thought it was 18 bu the first genuine heartbreak was 21

48. At what age do you want to get married? idc as long as it’s before 35 tbh

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i thought it was fun to say a marine biologist lolol

50. What do you crave now? falafel. mmmmmmmmmmm

this was neat, it was almost like a diary entry lololol, i want to hear more from @captainlokispeople @abbyarrgh @verngyu and @cult-of-time tho of course if you don’t want to or don’t have time then all is well!!

#tag game #thank u sadie!!#u always make me feel super important when u tag me in this stuff #i saw that some of our answers were the same too!!#i love learning about people hnnnng

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julessantiago · 5 years

Text

17-year-old me

OK SO BEFORE READING ON ANY FURTHER THIS IS WHAT'S GOING ON:

I went back and read some stuff I wrote when I was younger and this is something that caught my attention. BUT BEFORE I POST IT, I GOTS SOMETHING TO SAY.

You know what's nice about writing? It's that when you do it, you're preserving a moment. Actually, it's not just a moment, and you're not just preserving it. You're immortalizing it. Just imagine the power you hold, being able to immortalize something that is fleeting-- a moment, a feeling, an emotion. I mean, people leave and change their minds. But what you write about them and who they were when you wrote about them, don't. When you go back and read the stuff you wrote about a certain someone, it just brings you back to how you were feeling and who you were when you wrote it. So yeah, that's basically how powerful and torturous writing is.

OK, this is taking too long. All I can say about my 17-year old self though, is that damn gurl u sad. Kidding. Really though. I was sad and heart broken and just straight up done. HA ya girl thought she ain't gon' make it but surprise bish she still here and she 20. ALRIGHT. Without further ado, here's 17-YEAR-OLD ME.

edit: posting a redirect link to my other blog because as it turns out, Tumblr now has a character limit. Surprise, surprise. So, read this thing first, and then come back here for the behind the scenes of that piece and WHAT HAS CHANGED IN A SPAN OF THREE YEARS.

the BTS (behind the scenes, not the band)

There is no behind the scenes for that piece. I was sad. I thought of the boy I have loved since I was fifteen and what happened to us broke my heart and I wrote it down. That's that.

Maybe except for the obvious fact that that post was badly edited and is just a whole block of paragraph. yikes.

WHAT CHANGED? Nothing much. Just the fact that my heart is no longer breaking for this guy. My world is completely fine and A-okay without him. It's kinda strange though, I always thought I would always remember him and that I would always take the love we've shared for a short period of time for the rest of my life, but guess what? It has been three years. I'm already twenty years old; fresh out of college and will be having my first day of work tomorrow.

--and to my surprise, two people giving up on each other after years of trying not to, is not the saddest story in the world.

That's what three years taught me. I've met a lot of people in those three years. I've been through A LOT. Three years AGO, he was the only one I could write about. Three years LATER, I've written about greater loves and worse heartbreaks, none of which included him.

This is actually one of the things I find fascinating about life. When we're young, our worlds are really small. We think that heart break changes everything, but as we grow older and try to look back, our 17-year old selves wouldn't even think they'd make it to twenty with all those broken hearts.

As it turned out, it's not just one heartbreak that changes our lives forever. It's actually a lot. We have to go through multiple heartbreaks and world-shattering moments to get where we want to be and be the person we always dreamt of being.

Like what I've said in my previous post, I'm in a good place right now. It took me a long, long while to be here. And who knows? three years from now, a scared and confused 23-year old me might be looking back and reading this post, looking for something she feels like she lost along the way.

Hey, 23-year-old me, if you're reading this, you'll make it.

To my 17-year-old self, hang in there. you'll be okay.

And to the 17-year-olds reading this, buckle up.

JULES.

#daily02

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kachulein · 6 years

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I saw another blog do this and thought it would be cool for you to do it Can you tag your mutuals as nct songs? 💚 ~ your friendly anon

Aww, thank you so much for sending me this friendly anon!^-^💕 I always wanted to tag my mutuals as something and this was definitely very fun but also hard to do. However, I literally went through my whole follower list and wrote down every mutual I got. It’s gonna be long!😂But let’s start!~

@layislovelayislife: My beautiful Niamh♡ we’ve been talking daily for so long now and I honestly can’t imagine a life without my little Mark anymore~ That’s why I tag you as Without You, so don’t ever leave me :c 💖💖💖💖💖💖

@taetaejagiyaaa95: I tagged you as two songs tbh^^😶namely Angel and Running 2 U; because first off; you’re my angel and Ilysm and secondly; I’d run to you as fast as possible if I could ;-;💖💖💖💖💖💖

@camcamlovesbangchan: Aww Cam, you’re always so positive and happy and the little messages you send me brighten up my day so much, so I tag you as We Young, because this song’s happiness and positive vibes remind me of you.💕💕💕

@glamjae: I tag you as Boss because you just reached your first follower milestone and I’m so proud of you! You are definitely a boss now and I hope your blog continues to grow because you’re an amazing writer! Ilysm~💗💗💗

@nctwillruletheworldx: We both love the dreamies with all our heart, so I just had to tag you as a dreamie song, namely Walk You Home since it reminds me of the photo you sent me when you were taking a walk^-^💖💖💖

@jenostransbf: Ohh Lucas, because your love for Jeno is so sweet and pure, I tagged you as La La Love~💕

@star-blossom: Your url always reminds me of this phrase “my sun, my moon, and my stars” and since you only have the stars until now, I’ll give you the song Sun&Moon, so it’ll complete the saying~💘💘

@allymemes19: Soooo for you Ally I got Black on Black because I still have in mind how you wrote in the 85 questions tag about only owning black clothes^^❤❤❤

@kpopbread/ @nospecificfandom: My dear Nicolle, I tagged you as Limitless since I feel like there’s no limit for you and your blog to grow💗

@princeshushu: You’re such a sweet person that brings me so much Joy with your kindness and your overall personality, that’s why I tagged you as the song Joy💖

@ccarats: I tagged you as My Page because (idk if that makes sense) it reminded me of you mentioning me in one of your posts and that’s how I found out about your blog~💕

@softforkpop: I give you the song New Heroes, not only because you have it written on your blog but also because I just feel like it fits you!^-^💓

@rosecheol: Oh Haley, I don’t wanna sound weird but I looked at NCT’s songs and saw Cherry Bomb and then Cherries suddenly reminded me of you, so that’s why I give you the song Cherry Bomb💕

@nohxmanity: Tbh I can’t really explain in words why I think this song fits you, I just feel like it really does and that’s why I give you Dream in a Dream🙊💞

@uhmemesandtaeyong: I tag you as Baby Don’t Stop because that song always reminds me the hardest of Taeyong being RUDE and Taeyong reminds me of you^^ (maybe I’m biased due to your url lmao)💓

@gayforsvtandnct: Since your icon is Kun, I had to tag you as Without You (Chinese Version) because that’s like the only song in which Kun actually sings??? ;-; let him debut😭💓

@momoeirin: This is pretty random but you wrote on your blog “just bored all the time” and being bored reminds me of chewing gum because that’s what I always used to do when I was bored and that’s why I tag you as Chewing Gum.^^💞

@zokneszto: I was listening to Paradise while I was thinking of what song to tag you as and because I really wanted to give Paradise to someone, I’ll give it to you!~💖

@alonelysquid: And again, a very very random explanation,,, but I tag you as Fire Truck since the splashing hoses in the mv low-key remind me of tentacles and your url and icon being a squid really fit that thought.😂💞

@joshpup: I tag you as Touch since we haven’t been in touch very often and you’re also on a hiatus now but I still love having you as a mutual~💞

@thekookiecrush: Yooo ma gurl~ I tag you as Baby Don’t Like It simply because you were the first one to tell about how dope this song was back when it came out!^-^❤

@04-36am: Uyuuuu you’ll get Mad City~ I associate this song with you because back when NCT’s first mini album came out you told me you liked this song a lot! And it’s still a bop after all~🙊❤❤❤

@fallforbandmembers: Yamiiii beb❤ I give you the song Wake Up (kennsch du ihn überhaupt? Wenn nid, isch nid schlimm und susch chasch ihn dir gern au mol ahlose wennd wettsch😂❤) because you’re always the first one to get sleepy when we have our sleepovers😂❤

@anomaybeayes: Fabuuu❤(das isch ez sicher voll random und verwirrend für dich, aber well mir mutuals sind, han ich dich do au welle mit iibezieh🙊😅😊) I’ll give you the song Another World since Kpop is probably like another world to you and maybe you want to check out the song but of course, you don’t have to!^-^😙💞

#mutuals♡#asks #anonymous #mutuals as #nct #nct songs #kpop #kpop asks #nct asks

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neko-shinigxmi · 6 years

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So! Today’s the positivity day and... Well, I was almost content with kinda keeping up my hide-y nature right now and sticking to my RP blogs, but then I saw that some people were already tagging me, so-!! I can’t just not pay back!!! That ain’t me!! So... Let’s do some positivity today.

I would first like to start with a general, big thank you to the entire community. As soon as I could figure out what a crush was and romantic feelings, I’ve been self-shipping and doing self-insert. It’s a natural sort of thing for me, someone who’s felt very outcasted from other people and needed another place to mentally go to feel better. Fandom and self-insert was my perfect spot.

And it’s fun! But what’s made it even better is the community at large. I started this blog for myself and my love of fictional guys, gals, nb pals, and monsters/aliens/robots of all kinds. It was never meant to be anything more than that, but now I’ve been making friends. I’ve had people who’ve supported me and who I’ve supported back the best I can.

My F/Os can only do so much, but with the little positive imagines people post and the assurances from my fellow self-shippers, it’s really put me into an unrivaled, comforting spot that feels a bit like home. You guys have made an online community a home and there’s no way to thank you guys enough for that.

...With all this out of the way, here’s a few shout-outs to the people I’ve talked to/seen around enough that I want to send them a little positivity~ Beneath the cut!

@robotarmjokes- D, you were my very first follower when I learned about the community. I didn’t know why you followed at first or who your F/O was, but I enjoyed the energy you put out there. And now lookit us! I know Rhys like he’s a longtime friend, you’re my buddy too, and just-!! It’s such a blast knowing you.

@selfinsertheaven- YOU!! First of all, an icon. So many great self-ships?? Probably will be me in a few more years, if I keep getting into fandoms like I’ve been doing. (And stop being in denial about liking said chara in the first place, but I digress.) But everything you do is just? So lovely?? I admire your dedication to draw your self-inserts and how adorable they turn out to be~! Plus, I’m just....really glad about you dating Ryuu~ He deserves all the love and I’m glad he gets that with you. U v U <3

@maggotships- I know you said you were likely going to ditch your blog, but I wanted to give you a shoutout anyways, because I love your art. I love seeing your enthusiasm with your self-ships and the art you put out for them!! Seeing someone ship with Eduardo is really sweet, too, imo.... We didn’t really talk a lot, but I enjoyed the mutual support thing we had going on a lot~

@selfshippiez- YOU TAG ME, I TAG YOU BACK!!! Also, uuhhhhhh Sans’ Lovers Unite? No matter which Sans we datin’??? Hell. Yis. You two are cute as heck, I love the art that comes out for this ship and generally, just... I hope we talk a lot more; you seem super cool~!

@queenieships- I can never gush over your art and ships enough. I adore your art and defo wanna get a comm from you someday! We also haven’t talked a whole bunch, but just... You’re really cool and I like the stuff you do aaaaannnndd am always guaranteed to be quietly supporting you cause I’m awkward!!!! You keep being your awesome self, Queenie~

@tearofaeons- Also a super cool person I don’t talk with enough!!! It was SO COOL to see another self-shipper for OFF and Batter definitely deserves the love, so like... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh~ I like your art a lot, hope to see more of it in the future, and-! Thank you sm for asking about my OFF SI!

@iselfshipnerd- I’ve seen you on my dash a lot, but I don’t think we’ve like...ever actually talked? But I love the art you do and how you dabble in all sorts of things (like AUs of other media) for your art! And seeing that same-ship positivity on my dash was so heartwarming!!!

@violets-self-shipping-blog- My awesome cousin!! Stellar art, wonderful self-ships...an all around, cool person. Wish I could’ve seen you more during the summer trip..... ; w ; Maybe some other time, hopefully...!

@madames-sweethearts- AKA my best buddy ever?? I would live for you??? Bless?? You give me confidence, gurl. Your art is wonderful, the stuff you come up with? Amazing. Fantastic. You are just so damn relatable and I’m so glad we met. <3

@shippin-in-the-rain- We don’t talk a lot, but I love your art. Your platonic ships? Super valid. We should talk more sometime, yee.

@limey-blue-arty-do- YOU!!!! Another super cool person!! With absolutely fantastic art and just-?? We should talk more???? Cause I’m still debating Obi-Wan thanks to you and also I’m p sure my F/Os are your BFFs and I also nudged Heimdall at you so-????? Yes, super cool, knowing you is awesome, and just. Wow...

@atmospheric-light- You’re like...a little ray of sunshine in this community, you know that? You post wonderful stuff, I love your presence on my dash, and just.... Gosh, I don’t know. You’re just really great and I hope you know that. Also, you’re ships cute af.

@empressdrega27- YOU’RE SO VALID!!!! I never thought I’d see someone ship with Ahk, but first you! And then I got to learn more and it’s amazing how you’ve worked everything into this wonderful, connecting realm of worlds??? It’s so amazing and reminds me of my Anime Worlds days, so it brings a little bit of past nostalgia into my present day life... I’m really glad to have met you and I also think your voice is super cool, tbh.

@insomniasqueen- We don’t talk a lot anymore, but to my memory, you were one of the first people to come charging up like, “Tell me...about you and Alphonse. I must know,” and it’s a little thing like that which sticks out in my memory, you know? I hope you and Ichigo are having a blast today~!

@gamzeeismyboyfriend- I mean... C’mon. An icon of the community, cause you know where your boundaries are and stand by ‘em. Someone tells you shit? LMAO, wow, sucks for them; now you’ll just draw MORE of whatever they said to not do. You’re a sort of inspiration in that way, you know? (Also, your art is super pretty and Goals.)

@myrainydayloves- You and Sho are adorable as heck and I cackle as you drag people into loving Sho with you. Another icon for those that share F/Os in the most delightful way...and can never hail you enough for the Takeovers!! It’s such a simple little thing that brings happiness to us all and just... Wow, thank you.

@hardcoresshippingmyself- ANOTHER CUTE ARTIST!!! I love your art! So much!! And also seeing your self-ships and just... Ooph, if I wasn’t such a nervous bean, I’d talk your ear off, but I’ll just be sittin’ in my corner here. [finger guns] You stay awesome, though!!! I love seeing the content you make!!!!!

@meldaciohq- YOU ARE WONDERFUL, YOUR SELF-SHIPS ARE WONDERFUL, YOU MAKE GLORIOUS ART, AND I LIKE TALKING TO YOU!!! THAT’S THE TEA, BUDDY!!!!! You can tell I consider you a friend cause you’re getting this nonsense, slfghjfdks.

There’s probably more, but my memory is not bueno and also this is a lot of people already, so!!! Heck!

Thank you to everyone I’ve met so far and I look forward to seeing what next year will be like... What I’ve created, how this community has grown and strengthened themselves, and all the new friends we’ll make...!! It’s already been a wonderful time here, so I look forward to what else could happen~!

#self ship positivity 18 #self insert #self insert community #self ship #self ship community #Aki speaks #Positivity Post #YES HULLO HERE IS A THING #back into hiding I go

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juleswrotethese · 3 years

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17-year-old me

I went back and read some stuff I wrote when I was younger and this is something that caught my attention.

You know what's nice about writing? It's that when you do it, you're preserving a moment. Actually, you're not just preserving it. You're immortalizing it. Just imagine the power you hold, being able to immortalize something that is fleeting-- a moment, a feeling, an emotion. I mean, people leave and change their minds. But what you write about them and who they were when you wrote about them, don't. When you go back and read the stuff you wrote about a certain someone, it just brings you back to how you were feeling and who you were when you wrote it. That's basically how powerful and torturous writing is.

All I can say about my 17-year old self though is that damn gurl u sad. Kidding. Really though. I was sad and heartbroken and just straight up done.

edit: posting a redirect link to my other blog because as it turns out, Tumblr now has a character limit. Surprise, surprise. So, read this thing first, and then come back here for the behind-the-scenes of that piece and WHAT HAS CHANGED IN A SPAN OF THREE YEARS.

the BTS (behind the scenes, not the band)

There is no behind-the-scenes for that piece. I was sad. I thought of the boy I have loved since I was fifteen and what happened to us broke my heart and I wrote it down. That's that.

Maybe except for the obvious fact that that post was badly edited and is just a whole block of paragraph. yikes.

--and to my surprise, two people giving up on each other after years of trying not to is not the saddest story in the world.

This is actually one of the things I find fascinating about life. When we're young, our worlds are really small. We think that heartbreak changes everything, but as we grow older and try to look back, our 17-year old selves wouldn't even think they'd make it to twenty with all those broken hearts.

Like I've said in my previous post, I'm in a good place right now. It took me a long, long while to be here. And who knows? three years from now, a scared and confused 23-year old me might be looking back and reading this post, looking for something she feels like she lost along the way.

Hey, 23-year-old me, if you're reading this, you'll make it.

To my 17-year-old self, hang in there. you'll be okay.

And to the 17-year-olds reading this, buckle up.

#inmymind

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bplm3 · 6 years

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7|12|17

Yoo~

Just wanted to say real quick that i'm going to delete this tumblr app for a while. I won't delete the blog or anything else tho, just deinstall the app bc it has been distracting me for much longer than it should have now. My grades are at its worst and I think my life really would be a little bit easier to handle as well, if I wasn't a kpop fan lol or a fan of anything at all.. fml it's so hard..

Also i'm addicted to fanfictions lately and tumblr is a fanfic heaven soooo, I shouuuld prolly get outta here fast before I can say goodbye to passing this fucking semester ayy which is already hard enough on its own lol someone take my phone away pls

It's not like I have a billion followers to make a huge announcment to, to inform them that I'm going on hiatus for a while which, i'm not even sure I'll keep, bc I'm a fucking liar and would love to just drown myself in some really good fan written stories right now,

However, there are some really great people here that i'm thankful and honored (that sounds so fucking formal but i couldn't find a milder word that would've fit lol) to be allowed to call mutuals and friends so, yea if you text me I may not see it... if I can keep my tumblr addiction down for now. Lol (i'll prolly see it)

Omg yall just watch me re installing this fucking app tomorrow morning knocking on this damn apps door and begging them to take me back in LOL bc I just can't fuckin resist..... also i'm totally so not exaggerating right now... yea

If I, for some reason, really don't answer tho, my instagram and snapchat are the same usernames as this tumblr account's: bplm3

So feel free 💕 (even if u don't have anything to say you can still add me lol i wouldn't mind at all)

(But if u add me on snapchat, do tell me so I know you're coming from this post so I know, bc shit happened on there once and gurl do i not want to repeat that)

Ok but why does this whole "announcment" TM, that totally shouldn't have turned into a 500 000 words book, look so fuckin formal. I just wanted to properly express myself but it looks like I wrote a freakin resignation letter? Fml...

Looking through everything now I really wrote more than necessary

How about a fuckin "yeah i'm on hiatus now bc school bye" next time banu??????

#if #when #lol i'm so so sorry #good job banu u just wanna say bye and even then u manage to annoy the fuckin shit out of people #*increased clapping happening*#ok bye now #watch me be back in 2 day lol #hiatus #yani hiatus lol pffffff #even added the date of today to literally feel the shame if i really come back here in the next few days #let's change that to happen bc we all know this inner bitch can't be controlled.#ok no srsly i'm gone now

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jikook-love · 7 years

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there are some ppl who are like "omg this gay ship is amazing" n then turn around n talk about how it's impossible for idols to be gay. at this point i've turned petty enough that all of my blogs/accounts have become me talking about how gay jungkook is w/ jikook as an added bonus. what's the point of shipping smth gay if you don't think idols can be gay smh

hmmm. the chances of oppa being gay. interesting topic...

i’ll be real honest with you...i’ve actually said things along those lines on the past. kind of. but in reverse. I’ve brought up that actually a very small percentage of people actually identify as gay/lesbian. I saw one qualitative statistic somewhere that said less than 10 percent but it could’ve been dated not sourced properly etc. All the numbers I’ve seen range anywhere from like 5-20% but of course, it’s a hard thing to measure. That being said, the sample size of idols is huge. Have you watched ISAC? At that one event alone, there had to be what...a few hundred people? At least hundred. And that’s just the current, relevant generation. Let’s say that the statistic was as low as 1% people are truly gay. Then in that group of people alone, there should be at least one person who’s gay :o

Yet, in all my years of kpop, not one relevant idol has ever come out and identified as gay or lesbian :O :O :O

that I know of. feel free to correct me i’d be happy to know.

Okay, I’ll stop. I’ll be honest with you--Korean culture is a huge card in this and there a billion of other variables that come into play--i.e. if you knew you like girls, would you dedicate yourself to a career of celebrity where you are living with girls all day and one exposure could end your career and life forever? I mean, you could but dayum gurl u a real freak XD just saying. (that being said. trainees start out young so...)

Anyways, idols have gotten married, have children, but I don’t recall anyone ever being gay. Which is. Idk, unbelievable to me just looking at numbers alone. But perhaps I’m taking too much of the objective approach, which can be bad. But we talking stats and probability alone, I’m sure there’s a least some chance your oppa is ghei.

Also! side story: i remember some insider account way back when, during the beginning-mid phases of 2nd gen kpop claiming that trainees have actually seen/witnessed members dating those from the same group. And I think they said they saw it a lot?

...which means....

#probs just a rumour #or wishful thinking #amusing nonetheless :)#ask #Anonymous

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most-triumphant · 7 years

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~My journey~

I thought I would turn this lil tumblr blog into record of me trying to deal w/ physical and mental probs. A little bit about myself...

I’m 28. I live in hot as balls, Texas. I’ve got two cats, a husband, and some succulents. I love them in that order. Ive got GAD sprinkled w/ some intrusive thinking that keeps me awake every night. ;)

But hey, I’m worrying about car crashes so you don’t have to. It’s a public service. As long as I think about twisting metal turning my body into a fine salsa, it won’t happen, right? That’s what I thought-- cool.

Any whoooo, over the years I’ve been on different meds. Wellbrutin, Lexapro, Buspar, xanex etc. 130 days ago I started on 40mg of prozac & (2) .5 xanax a day and gurl, my world has turned upside down. Finally my brain feels like its firing on all cylinders and coupled w/ CBT - I am feeling the best I’ve ever felt. I still wake up multiple times a night panicked, but the prozac really has helped with the my daytime issues.

Specifically, a huge issue for me, eating obsessively. Food has always been my coping mechanism for my anxiety and intrusive thoughts, while at the same time, being a constant thought taking up so much room in my brain. Food-- My true love. I love to cook, eat, look at recipes, watch food shows, foodcation, etc. I looked forward to my period monthly as a time it was socially acceptable to overeat and be in a bad mood. I will look for a holiday to celebrate making any kind of feast. There was no more comforting feeling to me in the world then eating chicken wings for the glow of my computer screen. Instead of feeling worry/fear/thinking about death, i could be thinking about cookies. Making cookies. Eating cookies. Eating cookie dough. Googling cookie recipes. Smelling cookie candles. You get it.

Then after about three weeks on prozac...it was gone. I didn’t get the warm fuzzy feeling from gorging on pizza. I felt numb. What was always my comfort just wasn’t doing it for me anymore. Being about 60lbs overweight and being exhausted 24-7 from lack of exercise nutrition all of a sudden seemed like a curable problem. Like, oh hey, maybe if you ate more fruit and drank less alcohol, your joints wouldn’t hurt so much. Maybe u would want to leave your apartment over the weekend. WHO KNOWS?! Without that obsessive voice in my head thinking about how to properly crisp the skin on a pork shoulder going 24-7 on a loop, I had to start thinking about other things and finding otherwise to make myself feel good.

So 90 days ago I started weight watchers and exercising regularly. I still can’t bring myself to utter those worlds out loud. My family knows. I won’t tell friends. When they asked how I lost 30lbs I will say a dumb joke about no longer eating my bodyweight in cheeseburgers. Why do I feel shame about getting healthy and getting my shit together?

Idk, I’m sure there’s a lot of factors at play there. In reality tho by telling people I’m actively trying to improve my health, I’m making myself accountable. If its a big secret, I can fuck up and I feel like no one will judge me.

I think that’s a huge part of my problems as a human being... me, and just about everyone else is trying to be “normal.” And what is that even anyway. All I know is that I’m trying to be active. I’m trying to go out of my comfort zone. I’m trying to push back against my brain which has been telling me for all these years that exercise and eating somewhat healthily was a lost cause. I couldn’t do it. I’d be a failure.

I always saw those dumb fucking post on facebook like “You could of lost x amount of lbs if you started x amount of days ago.” But for once, I finally did something. I think the therapy + medicine has really helped me get to a place where I no longer cope with food. I never understood the way in which my physical self/ mental self were linked, but I’ve recognized self sabotage patterns I always fell into, which now, somehow, have been broken.

IDK man. I’m not saying prozac is some miracle drug, but prozac + therapy + exercise + eating good about 70% of the time has done wonders for me. I’ve got a ways to go until I’m actually in shape, but its a journey. I dont know why I wrote all this. lol. But it feels good to get it all out. Im thinking sometime I will need to look back and remember what I was thinking during this process. I’ll prob emotionally dump this stuff every once in a while, so hey if you read this, cool and thx. I hope you’re doing well.

#weightloss #lose weight #weightwatchers #gad

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