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shy-marker-pliers · 4 years

Text

High school AU thingamabob

Dark

17 year old senior

class president and is kinda high and mighty about it tbh

“yes i know student council can’t really make any changes without the input of the superintendent but IM THE PRESIDENT AND YOU’RE NOT SO SUCK MY DI-“

does sound/lights for all the shows the school puts on

dating wilford and no one knows how or why they’re together

had a deep as hell voice and a beard the second he hit puberty

takes every ethics/psychology class he can

wants to be a lawyer

that one kid that everyone fears but is actually kinda chill if not a little surly

wears a collared shirt and tie to school every day and would totally get made fun of for it if he wasn’t terrifying

listens to classical music unironically

“oh my god i’m so going to fail this test” *proceeds to get the highest grade in the class*

protector of the gays™️

person: *says something mean to a student because they’re lgbtq+*

Dark: *teleports in front of said student* omae wa mou shindeiru

Wilford

19 year old senior

Yes he still has the mustache

doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him

deadass wore a dress to school after one of his friends got made fun of because she wore a suit to a school dance

b u f f a s h e l l

could bench press a teacher if he really tried

on the cheer team

“no i’m not wearing pants, this miniskirt makes my ass look great!”

everyone’s bodyguard

usually attracts a crowd of nervous underclassmen

has mild dyslexia

tol

gives his friends piggyback rides

president of the drama club

works hard enough in school to pass his classes but that’s pretty much it

sleeps in class

Bim

15 year old freshman

vice president of the drama club

wilfords shadow

first freshman to help run the drama club and shoves it in everyone’s face

shouts his gayness from the rooftops

secretly super insecure

loves plants and helps out in the schools greenhouse

named all of the plants but if you tell anyone he’ll stab you

gets mostly B’s and C’s

has mild ocd but not enough to affect him severely

talks like a game show host cause he thinks it makes him sound attractive

it doesn’t

Google(s)

16 year old juniors

identical quadruplets

they have to wear different colors every day or else no one knows which one is which

they’re called the googles because their backpacks match the colors of the chrome logo and they’re super smart

straight A 4.0 GPA students but Oliver has to try a little harder than his brothers

all of them are in the robotics team except for ollie

Blue works on programming and red and green are on the build team

Ollie is the sweetest day of sunshine to ever exist and everyone loves him

he’s basically adopted Eric as his lil bro

tutors people in the library every tuesday and thursday

the other googles disapprove of his relationship with bing but he makes ollie happy so they don’t do anything about it

they all work in a supermarket and they’re saving up for college

ollie wants to be a vet, red and green want to be engineers, and blue wants to be a web developer

Bing

17 year old junior

mostly A’s, a few B’s.

his full name is zachary bing but people call him bing because he’s always trying to one up the googles

dudebro

was pining after ollie for months before chase finally felt sorry for him and told ollie how he felt

they’re dating now and it’s adorable

so soft for his boyf

a really good skater and wins a lot of local competitions

doesn’t study but still gets p good grades

wears sunglasses all the time because he has light sensitivity

Has ADHD

s t r o n k

always challenges people to arm wrestle him

can sing really well and plays gitaur

shares a youtube channel with chase where they skate and to challenges and stuff

Dr. ipiler

18 year old senior

Everyone calls him doc because he helps the school nurse and takes every single biology and health class there is

all A’s

really wants to be a surgeon

best friends with Schneep

huge star trek/harry potter nerd (ravenclaw if you’re wondering)

almost always at schneep’s house studying or just chillin’

kind of a control freak

thinks he’s charismatic but he’s actually kinda annoying

but annoying in a funny way

has a pet ferret that he sneaks into school

feral

espresso and sugar flows through his veins

“i actually got a good sleep last night.” “oh really?” “yeah bro i got a whole half hour!”

super dark bags under his eyes

Host

17 year old junior

all A’s except for in gym class

he has eyes in this

his real name is Simon Charles Teller (there are specific meanings to those names btw look them up) but he’s called The Host because he does morning announcements every day.

has gold eyes and a lot of people find it unnerving

“hey i have a podcast you should totally listen to it”

nocturnal

spends all of his free time in the library

always reading in class but the teachers don’t really care bc his grades are good and he does his homework

wants to be an english/poetry teacher

crushing on the cute shy kid from his english class

doesn’t talk much but he’ll still be nice to you

that one kid who’s always correcting the teachers

Runs the D&D club (he’s the dungeon master)

Eric Derekson

16 year old junior

Mostly high B’s, a couple of A’s.

lives with his uncle mark after he ran away from his abusive dad and is living a happy life

the guy that always volunteers to take care of the class pets over the weekend

animals love him

has anxiety, mild paranoia and autism.

animals, harry potter, and pokémon are his hyperfixations.

he also really likes gardening

crushing big time on hostioli

spends his entire english class staring at him and blushing

is seriously considering joining D&D club just to be able to talk to him

he’s in the art club

wants to be a vet and maybe do some freelance art stuff on the side

Ollie keeps yelling at him to just ask host out already but he’s too nervous

my poor bb boi

Wears sweaters all the time

wears headphones to block out noise if it ever gets too loud at he goes into sensory overload

disaster bi

Yan

18 year old senior

gets C’s

non-binary

has a makeup tutorial channel on youtube and has a pretty decent following

That one weeb

dyes their hair a new color every week

also has a new crush every week

everyone knows who their newest victim is because they never stop watching them

draws anime or cute animals for every art class

wants to be a a fashion designer

does MMA

everyone kinda stears clear of them

writes their first initial along with their crush’s on every notebook they own

has gotten suspended for beating kids up on multiple occasions

doesn’t really have that many friends but they don’t mind

spends their lunches watching their crush

in the drama club and the art club

Randall Voorhees

18 year old senior

C’s and D’s

Eric’s cousin/bodyguard

they have a lot of the same classes and walk everywhere together

loves animals and has like 10 pet rats

he doesn’t really care about his grades because he knows that he wants to be a woodworker/construction guy

makes little houses out of scrap wood for his rats and Eric thinks it’s adorable

always sneaks his rats to school and lets them have play dates with dr. iplier’s ferret

“nO IM NOT RELATED TO JASON VOORHEES HES NOT EVEN REAL SO SHUT THE HELL UP-“

used to live in nyc in queens and still has a pretty strong accent

completely incomprehensible when he’s excited or angry bc of the accent

everyone is jealous of his hair

spends like 100 dollars on shampoo and conditioner and stuff but it’s worth it

acts like the straightest guy in existence but could not be more gay

his boots are always muddy

Yancy

16 year old sophomore

his name is Yancy Bird

g...get it? like jailbird? ahaha...ok i’ll stop

permanent resident of the detention room

but he gets to just chill out and read for an hour so he doesn’t really mind

mostly gets detention for beating up kids that bully others

fuck the system

always wears a leather jacket and blue jeans

“hey, the 50’s called and they want their-“ SMACK. “shut up.”

takes a lot of criminal justice and psychology classes ironically

in the botany club but if you tell anyone they’ll never find your body

everyone is surprised when they find out he’s friends with Eric and ollie

pan but in denial

“i’m not gay guys, that ain’t me, i’m just comfortable with my sexuality. so i can admit when i see a guy with a handsome face and pretty eyes-“

that song is great btw you should listen to it

anyway

always makes really dark jokes and everyone is like “are you ok?”

except for his friends they just laugh

“lmao wouldn’t it be funny if everyone like...died”

#markiplier #markiplier egos #darkiplier #eric derekson #the host #wilford warfstache #yancy iplier #randall voorhees #bim trimmer #high school

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kinktae · 4 years

Note

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

#ask

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soflsms · 5 years

Text

( sorry I'm late to the party im in pst so i was at work til now sdkfjl ) ANYWHO hi pals what the h*ck is up !! im chloe , im 21 , i use she / her pronouns & im a broke a$$ geography major !! i am SO excited to be her & get to rp with all y’all bc judging by your apps skdflj i fuck with u all . anywho ill stop my rambling , below the readmore is stuff about sofie & some wcs !!

trigger warning !! sex work , deportation , neglect , bad writing , alcoholism & substance abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN / SHE/HER / TWENTY TWO / BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at 8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a singer since relocating from harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name : sofie sydney almeda

nicknames : sof

age : twenty - two .

birthday : december eleventh .

zodiac : sagittarius .

gender : cisfemale ( though doesn’t vibe with the idea of being STRICTLY a WoMaN , she finds labels restrictive ) .

pronouns : she & her .

height : 5 ′ 6 ″ .

hometown : recife , brazil & harlem , new york city .

nationality : american , brazilian .

ethnicity : english , portuguese .

label(s) : the venereal , the bellwether , the opulent , the anaxiphile .

occupation : singer ( vc billie eilish ) .

quirks : fidgeting , allergic to shellfish , walks quickly , cracks knuckles , always wears her lucky ‘ st christopher ’ necklace from her grandmother , has a weird ability to talk herself out of trouble , can tie a cherry stem in her mouth , messy emotionally but on - point physically , vvv bad driver , loves a good theme party , can’t get through the day without multiple cups of coffee , refuses to wear glasses in public even though she’s quite far - sighted , always carries hand sanitizer , prefers rain over sunshine .

background

her mother , marcia almeda , was a recent graduate from secondary school who packed a backpack and went traveling !! before long tho she ended up knocked up by another backpacker , this one american , while they were having a fling in sydney ( hence sofie’s middle name lmao @ her mom’s humor ) . she flew back home when she found out & never told sofie’s father oops !! so marcia had sofie at home in recife just before her nineteenth birthday , and marcia was enthralled w little sofie . ofc she inherited her mother’s beauty ( i hc marcia looks like alessandra ambrosio bc hello ! ) & little sofie lived a happy early childhood life in her grandparents’ home in recife.

brazil isn’t the safest of countries & marcia didn’t want the same dangers she experienced growing up for her young daughter , so around sofie’s eighth birthday , her & her mother packed up and went on a ‘ trip ’ to new york city . joke’s on sofie , though - it wasn’t actually a trip , but rly they were trying to move there to find sofie’s father to confirm his paternity and get sofie american citizenship . it was proving more difficult than she thought , & marcia was quickly running out of money . with a face like hers , though , making money wasn’t too difficult , but it was time consuming . marcia found herself escorting older men in order to pay the bills , all the while leaving little sofie to fend for herself . some of her earliest memories are of strange men in their tiny apartment & sofie trying to block out their conversations with her lil cassette player hiding in the corner of her room . eventually , marcia was able to contact the father & they set up a meeting . sofie had gotten her hopes up that she would finally have a dad ( she got dressed up in her sunday best & everything bc reuniting her dad was a BIG deal ) , but the meeting ended up being a quick exchange of words , a mouth swab and a couple signatures . sofie never even learned his name , & this queued up a lifetime of daddy issues & distrust of men !!

while marcia was able to stay in america much longer than she was legally supposed to , eventually she was facing deportation , which meant lil sofie , with her citizenship finally confirmed , was put into the hands of her father who sent off to an american boarding school in new york without even contacting her . she would spend the summers in brazil with her mother or , as she got older , couch - surfing with different friends throughout the months . she started growing apart from her mother as she aged since she wasn’t going home every summer since she didn’t rly feel any connection to brazil . her grandfather had passed away & she only has faint memories grandmother , plus the city wasn’t at all familiar to her & she wasn’t practicing her portuguese after her mother returned to brazil .

through it all , music was proving to be the one constant in her life she could use to escape from reality . she had never done any training or classes , but she just liked singing along to whatever was on the radio & practicing on her own . she also found a passion for writing poetry which she later would realize was compatible with music . she would spend HOURS in the school library working on garage band lmfao bc she couldn’t afford her own laptop to produce music & her dad sent just enough money as he was legally supposed to . but she worked her lil tushy off & applied to a music academy in nyc & was rejected the first year ( DEVASTATING when mixed with her impostor syndrome & daddy issues ) but she practiced more & more & edned up getting accepted the next year . here , she worked on her vocal skills & music production , & started accumulating her own music & selling songs to music producers on the side for some ca$h money .

by the time she was 16 the state decided she was old / mature enough to live on her own so she got a TINY lil studio apartment in harlem where she’d grown up with her mum & she had friends who she’d grown up with . while it wasn’t the safest neighbourhood statistically sofie felt safe & just like one of the neighbourhood kids . it was the first time she genuinely felt like she belonged .

she was accepted on full scholarship to nyu & majored in music composition & vocal performance where she started finally feeling secure in herself & released her own music on soundcloud , quickly amassing a following & becoming an ‘ up & coming ‘ artist !! she was contacted by a scooter braun type guy who was interested in taking her on under his management so she dropped out of uni in her 2nd year ( bc tbh her grades in anything other than her music classes were v subpar ) . soon enough producers wanted to work with her & she was making enough that she didn’t have to sell her songs which she hated doing but had to pay the bills u know . oh & her vc is billie eilish bc ofc shes my queen go stream when we all fall asleep where do we go on spotify u won’t be disappointed

she also started getting into the partying scene here yikes !! it was a method for her to numb all her pain from her past & impostor syndrome & drown all that out in pills or tequila . it rly wasn’t healthy bc of how she would binge for a weekend then try to stay sober throughout the week but failing by about wednesday when she started to feel hollow . she wasn’t gonna be a one hit wonder & her mom sure as hell didn’t go through all that trouble just for sofie to be a nobody addict !! so she kept it together enough to start making big bucks & well ……. here she is :~)

personality

sofie blames it on her brazilian heritage but this bitch loves a party !! like shes the one who gets happy drunk at the pre then is the first on the dance floor then later falls out of the club & into some rando’s bed !! in the back of her mind she knows her drug & alcohol use is self - destructive but she figures shes allowed to let loose sometimes ( even if that ends up being most nights ) ; rly she’s just in denial bc she doesn’t want to change her ways & lose her identity !!

doesn’t put labels on her gender identity or sexual orientation . she finds them restrictive & useless for herself , labels would only be to satisfy others . she doesn’t see herself as 110% female either like she’s all about gender being a social construct / a spectrum ; some days she’ll get dolled up & wear heavy makeup & six inch heels , some days she’ll walk around in a bun & tracksuit & trainers . anyone who asks abt it will swiftly get 2 middle fingers in their face !! shes uncontrollable i swear

puts up a tough bad - ass front like billie does aksjdh like nah nothing can hurt me im bulletproof !! but is rly just kinda broken underneath . she doesn’t even let her closest friends know how hurting she is bc she doesn’t wanna burden them . she rly uses mmusic as an outlet tho so she’ll act totally tough then go to the studio & record all about her heartache . will NEVER let someone see her cry no matter how close she is with them . she rly sees it as a sign of weakness & shes in a much better place than she was 5 years ago so she figures she’s not ALLOWED to feel anything but grateful .

this bitch overthinks everything !! half the time she isn’t rly listenning to whoever bc she’s thinking about what they just said & if they’re mad with her . she’s that friend who will ask u to come over to formulate the perfect text response & fuss over it for hours . that being said , if someone talks shit abt anyone shes tight with , they’re gonna get it the next time she sees them . she isn’t about violence & would never get into a physical fight , but she’d work behind the scenes to ruin their life . but then she pretends like she rly doesn’t care though its obvious to those close to her that she cares way too much

has a very hard time expressing love bc she didn’t have much practice w it growing up . she was on her own most of her young life so even if her mom would tell her te amo she would be like uh huh gtg bye !!

tldr ; poor bitch w abandonment issues who was able to get out of it by channeling her energy into music & numbing the stress with pills or alcohol which she def still overuses but she doesn’t think its a problem !! yikeroony !! loves partying & having a good time , puts up a tough front but is rly soft underneath .

wanted (* = mw)

friends from high school !! - people sof stayed with in the summer bc she wasn’t going home to brazil .

friends from music school !! - she def felt like an outsider among the music prodigies at this school , & maybe this person was one of the ppl she actually connected with .

come out & play !! this person acts as a good influence to sofie . they’re level - headed & very grounding , & sofie doesn’t let it show but they’re really important to her . this is the Softest billie song ( prob bc it was for an ad skdj ) & they inspired it bc it’s how she feels when shes with them . they encourage her to be all that she can be & they believe in her , & they’re prob the one person sofie trusts the most which is SAYING something !!

*exes on bad terms !! - ok this would basically be based on all the songs billie has about a failed relationship / heartbreak !! shes got a bunch . im thnking maybe she was actually rly into them but had a hard time expressing it bc she’s never been good with emotional expression , & it led to the relationship feeling ?? unfaithful / disconnected ?? idk but she rly loved them & is still nursing that heartbreak . ( x , x , x )

the paris to her nicole !! - ok i f*cking hate that i said this but she’s nicole richie its true !! she needs a messy gal pal exactly like how paris & nicole are i stan them ( x , x , x )

roommate !! - bc of her abandonment issues she rly doesn’t like living alone so prob is the roomie who will sleep in their bed from time to time bc she doesn’t like being totally alone .

*when the party’s over !! - these two have been hooking up for a while no strings attached but recently feelings have been caught !! & now they still hook up quite often but sofie’s kinda harboring feelings & pretending all is well but she rly hopes they’ll just stay the night from time to time , & gets secretly heartbroken when she sees them flirting or leaving with someone else . they can also have feelings if u want that angst :~)

fwb !! - sofie is pretty transparent when it comes to what she wants & she’s got a bad habit of replacing dealing with problems with getting laid !! like u know in movies when the man opens his wallet and a row of like 20 pictures of different women fall out ?? that’s sof’s aesthetic . she’s got a bunch of fwb of all genders so bring me some pls

***mutual dislike / copycat !! self - explanatory , sofie thinks this person is copying her in everything she does & thinks its annoying af so she wrote a song abt it & hopes they indirectly get the message even if she drops not so subtle hints . skfldjh itd be messy pls !!

party buddies !! - someone who encourages sofies wild ways . when the two get together its usually to get drunk or high & thats the way they like it . sofie doesn’t feel judged by them as she does by others who don’t get obliterated at every social event ( what an idea !! ) so she rly values them , even if she doesn’t express it

** 8 !! - someone who kinda reluctantly got into a relationship with sofie out of maybe a desire to save her from herself ?? like u know that good girl bad boy trope where the girl tries to save the boy from whatever he’s struggling with ? that’s them but the roles are just reversed - good guy , bad girl . it was kinda just filled w her being self - destructive & confiding in him but not rly reciprocating the care so he became kinda distant bc of it . tbh she prob knew he was too good for her but had a sliver of hope he wouldn’t leave her even tho eventually she became too much for him . ( lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence !! this person can tell that her beahvior is unhealthy & are trying to gently nudge her abt it . she can tell what they’re doing but her addict brain is telling her its invasive & threatening so shes not the fondest of this person , but deep down she really appreciates them

music buddies !! these two are both in the music industry & rather than it being competitive , they’ve developed a friendship from it & enjoy working together .

* someone sofie ghostwrites for !! for whatever reason , this muse doesn’t write their own songs & instead pays sofie to write them for them . she doesn’t love it but its a way to make money & give away songs she doesn’t feel attached to but are worth something . maybe its tense bc they claim the songs as their own & sofie doesn’t like it , this could be ~escandolo~ later !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok tea this song is the one that broke her into the industry . she produced it all herself & just relased it to her soundcloud thinking it wouldn’t rly go anyway but !! joke’s on yung sofie . essentially he thought the relationship was going well , she’d met his family & they rly liked her but !! sof was feeling kinda smothered & told herself he was lying & cheating on her n shit so she wrote a song about it !! & once it was starting to get attention he was like ….. uhhh what the fuck & she was like haha sorry !! so they broke up & ever since its been animosity , but she realizes she fucked up but it launched her career so she doesn’t know whether to keep up the idgaf i hurt you or apologize .

* ex - friends !! ok pls i have this hc where sofie got way too high one night & slept with this person’s dad or sibling or smth !! u know that line in ‘ bad guy ’ where she goes ‘ might seduce your dad type ? ’ ya that’s got sofie written ALL over it !! & now they’re not friends bc sofie can’t keep it in her pants but both sides kinda misses the other but are too stubborn to say anything :~(

exes from college / high school !! - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely !! - i need a male voice for khalid’s part in lovely bc i need this song in my life bc its a whole ass sofie mood ok .

i’ve also got a wanted connections tag linked HERE dksfj there's not much in it yet but feel free to check it out . ok i love y'all

#glitterati.intro #excited to be here :~)

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

Text

My Own Ascension & The End

It’s my understanding that everyone's is different. I don’t take the lists people make seriously. They do have SOME merit but not real particular order. It’s kind of a waste of time to worry about it IMO.

I’ve always been kind of intuitive like from the time I was aware. Seen and talked to dead people and see deceased animals like my mom’s dead dog. That was the last time I think I saw plain as day. Seeing them creeps me out. It still creeps me out and I DON’T want it back. God can keep it. Nuh-uh, no thanks, bye!

My skepticism change over time.

I’ve spoken to psychics kind of obsessed with why I felt the need to find this “person” and why did it feel urgency. The urgency had gone away when Erik died. It was later that everything each psychic said to me was pretty true from meeting him by a body of water (in my dreams he was associated with water), that I had some kind of connection with some kind of “love sector” (Yeah WTF is right), I specifically asked about this person who I called my “long-distance boyfriend”. That the one I was looking for was going to leave and there was nothing that could be done about it. This was around the summer right before his death. I crawled into my closet and cried my eyes out. I just knew it was him. That I also failed to find him. That my life was over and I literally felt like dying. What was I living for? Like what’s the point?

After his death I felt my life was over.

The urgency I felt to find him had gone away. Since I just turned 20, I’d been sneaking alcohol and getting shitfaced at karaoke bars and house parties. I just wanted to forget about him! I covered up my pain with wise-cracks, un-serious relationships, being a drama queen, doing things I should have gotten arrested for, and getting high. I didn’t care if I lived. Even while medicated, I just didn’t care. I picked up a few “boyfriends” and I felt nothing. I only did it because I was starting to see my friends dwindle away one by one with families of their own. So to forget about the pain, I tried to have serious relationships. I became in denial that Erik was dead. Like the clock had long since stopped ticking. I became a wreaking time ball. I realized these men were just mistakes. I didn’t really love him because somehow I loved that thing which followed me around and I did feel him with me for real. I just was afraid to find out.

My experience didn’t begin to accelerate until Erik died.

I remember laying down and being freaked out seeing my chakras open up. I felt and saw each one. I wasn’t very educated on chakras. When it became too much, I ran out of my room like a bat out of hell or I wasn't really educated any of the stuff. But I knew a little. Since then I had repetitive dreams seeing him exactly as he was. Again, only I didn’t know it was him until much later. The same dream of being at some kind of pool party, beach, lake or whatever. I was with friends I never seen before I only found out where my friends from “home”. It was always fun but sometimes the water was murky, shallow or deep. It’s symbolism on my spirituality. I was teetering on and off “the path” since the dreams because. The water had much to do with where I was in life. If I was miserable, it was shallow and murky, murky, or just shallow...You get the idea. The water got deeper I got close to meeting Erik. I remember being told to get in a few times. I also remember when I was about 12-13 I was afraid of deep water because I almost drowned. But I had a dream that an Angel had been with me at a friends house. I was instructed to just jump and I did. Since I survived I loved deep diving. Fun as shit. Not sure if it has much to do with it. I’m hearing a no but I’m including it anyway.

Lemme give you the process...

Around ‘12-ish I bought a pendulum with the idea of using it like I do now. Things took a turn for the worst soon after I bought it. It broke and I didn’t have time or energy to try it anyway. Not until a couple years later at a better time in my life. My apartments were haunted and that’s when I got the sense someone was following but it wasn’t bothersome. Most of the time it was comforting. I did feel him around at the home I grew up in but it wasn’t as prevalent. The dreams were still happening. In ‘13-ish I had the dream I wrote about visiting home in The Realms and Erik bombarded me about my spiritual journey and how I didn’t want anything to do with it. It’s still vivid in my mind like a memory. I really fought over how I didn’t want to incarnate. This was as my higher-self. I looked different and felt different. Now I do see her as my higher self the same as in the dream. Trippy.

Fast forward to ‘16...

Times were hard. I lost my job and the money I was making. It wasn’t really a good job anyway. I realize while on my medications, I was able to connect better. As in my intuition was better understood because they kept me calm and centered. But that wasn’t realized until I was back on meds and able to look back at the times I was medication. I also realized that if my “abilities” to be intuitive went away while off my meds, it might be alarming. But it was impossible to sit still or concentrate long enough to give a shit off of them! So anyway, shortly before I got on my meds I had a dream about Erik. But I started my meds again and noticed the dreams coming it more and more.

Early ‘17 I asked God to have my abilities back feeling that there was something I needed to do. Like I have a real purpose and it had something to do with my abilities that have taken a temporary backseat. Did some researching to find out what I can do to have my abilities back and got back in to reading my cards regularly. I saw a movie I’ve seen so many times basically about TFs (In Your Eyes) and thought how cool it would be. Ironically it would my experience with Erik in some kind of way but generally the same. Only he’s dead...

It got intense in spring/Summer ‘17.

Over an argument with my ex, he got me baker-acted. I didn’t know Erik was my TF yet. I remember how cool it would be to talk to him while in there. Two years later, this year, while in the hospital I learned I really could talk to him without my pendulum. It’s kind of cute I made a pendulum board “On The Go!” LMAO by drawing one and taking a picture of it so that in the case I can’t concentrate, I can whip out my penny and dangle that shit above my phone. Just for some clarification. I don’t do it all the time. It’s just sometimes I’m not too confident with discernment without my board and I’m not allowed back in the shelter dorms until 4pm *rolls eyes*.

Okay, we are getting side-tracked!

Learning a skill.

At first, I was watching a lot of paranormal shit and depressed finally tough enough to look for proof as to why I was having this “thing” following me. No matter how comforting it was, it did cause somethings to happen around no matter where I lived and of course only me and maaaaaaybe a few witnessed it. Annoying. I collected pendulums from Ebay and wore them just for shits and giggles. Mostly shits. Ew that’s gross. Anyway so I watched some paranormal shit and remembered,

Hey, I still have my pendulums and a pile of crystals hanging around the “alter” in the headboard behind the mattress!...And a chain!

Reminds me of that Fleetwood Mac song. Kind of accurate. After firing up some sage in my condo --Really! The damn thing nearly caught fire and I’m sure with winds open I was some kind of witch which at the time didn’t necessarily believe in. Pagans and Wiccans were bullshit to me. Even to some level psychics too! How ironic that NOW I happen to be one of those nut-jobs. Go figure. I did my opening and closing rituals to make sure “the door” was closed. I ALWAYS held the intention to be speaking with Erik and much later my grandmother and God would be an important role.

We continued as above pretty much for a while. Using my pendulum was easier, I was able to predict the next letter, then the next word. We really played tug-o-war. I tried to pull the penny to a different letter and he would move it to spell, “Stop doing that!”. LMFAO it was HILARIOUS!!!!! But that’s how I really knew for sure for sure this was for real for real!

Learning about “home”.

It was eye-opening because I remembered the dream I had years ago about returning home. Erik bombarded me with the task about doing what I came to earth to do. Something about his role as well. It didn't know Erik at the time but intuitively I knew that I knew him. There was a familiar-ness . The same I got from in him; the beach and pool parties. In the realms are pools. What I call pools of mana. In video games especially in MMOs there is Mana used to boost up your Magic (sometimes spirit or intellect) Points or MP.

Out of the blue he called me by a different name, “Vanessa”. Then I remembered asking him what my spirit name was a while back. He had told me “nessa”. To me it sounded like Nestle Tollhouse or some shit like I wasn’t really ready for. Well I was kind of shocked because I told him to call her butt-uh (inside joke) so I put both together and asked about her or my role is back home. Turns out I’m part of some counseling group from the realm of Love. OOOOOoooOOoooooo! Oh my my my! lmao So any way I had not only my past lives to pound out, but also I needed to find out more about the realms and my role as what I call a “Galactic Guardian” or Starseed (see tag below)

Anyway, So we continued the healing process starting with our past lives. We had three of them and we literally looked at all three and healed them. It’s like going to the therapist and laying down and shit. Only because I actually go in to hypnotic state and see these events happening. We pick apart all of the difficult situations in each relationship as bother and sister, husband and wife, and gay lovers. *In Kevin Hart voice* Bing bang boom. Very intense all together. Very much like therapy. Erik goes all sort of sarcastically,

“...And how does that make you feel?”

With a notepad in one hand and a pen in another! He always finds a way to crack me up. He’s my own personal comic relief. Sometimes it’s funny and sometimes he just goes to far. Well so do I. Guess it’s some sort of “karma” everyone talks about. *rolls eyes* Whatever.

2018 is all kind of a blurr and I met “God”

Things really didn’t kickoff until summer/fall. Now, I was at a point I wasn’t using my note pad anymore to keep track of our conversations. They were sort of stored in this crazy blob in my unsightly skull. We were still covering our past lives and when it ended, it was time to meet “God”. It really happened when I wanted to know that oracle cards Doreen Virtue had to add to my collection. I only found out she turned away from this kind of spiritual stuff toward (for lack of a better term in my ignorance) being a “Jesus Freak” and there’s absolutely nothing with it. Being that I looked up to her, it brought me back down to earth. In-spite of the safely precautions and measures before each session, was I consorting with demons? I’m I wrong? Is Erik a Demon? I started to feel my chest tighten and it was getting harder to breathe. I felt like I was going to have a heat attack and immediately closed the Chrome window starting at me dead in the face.

I’ve met Angels Raphael and Micheal..Oh and my Guardian Angel, Josana. Both Archangels are just described. Micheal (means God-like) is a lot like but God “LITE”. A watered down level of God (Sorry Mike)! Raphael is like a physician you see for your check ups. He gives me dietary advice and encourages me to keep my health. Literally while having a panic attack, he measured my heart-rate and assured me that there was nothing wrong. It’s like Raph gives me the veggies and Mike leans over behind me making sure I eat everything on my plate. They are no different than getting their help or advice through angel oracle cards made by Doreen Virtue. It’s funny because i can recall a oracle card that almost matches what they really say to me. Creepy right?

“Yes this is your heavenly father, Jehova.”

OK. Everyone has a name for “God” because of my religious background growing up as a Jehova’s Whitness. Everyone has their own idea or name for “source”. Meeting God wasn’t on the top of my list because I was afraid. I had not been a “good christian” and I’ve fell off the path long ago. In my selfish mind I thought if there was a God I wouldn’t suffer the way I have my whole life. I’ve been through what everyone goes through. But in my mind, my life was enough to make some people want to die. Erik found how much I suffered realizing how the way he left was trivial. If it had to be between us to be put out of their misery, it should have been ME! But I couldn’t no matter how much pain I was in, I couldn't do it. I was afraid of going to Hell. Even though I didn’t really believe in God I always thought with my luck, God or not, my ass is going to burn forever in fire and brimstone. Then out of curiosity i wanted to know demons too. If Angels and benevolents exist there must be demons. Well I did meet them. If you remember, I’ve met these assholes and sent them away. Now that I know the difference I feel free-er and well educated.

God was right there IN MY FUCKING CONDO...

Immediately I was scared as shit like that moment you know you’ve done something back and you are hiding in the closet, except I was basically frozen on my futon. It felt like that. God is very much like Fem and Masc energy together so obviously this means he doesn’t have a Twin Flame. So he can be that honest-god (Hahahah) honest father that tell you like it is without sugar-coating it. I mean he literally in my hissy-fit over something stupid, he said I was, “Acting like a child and it’s time I have patience or I can forget about the things he’s got in store for me.” By the way he really did come through! There were moments I asked for things and they happened! A new bag, art supplies, new pillow, a hat. Some I got EXACTLY how I wanted them! I’ll never forget it. Law of Attraction IS REAL and it’s like God gives it to you like Oprah gives out prizes!

God forgave me of course and basically I have a good heart. It’s apparent to him how honest I was. He assured me everything leading up to then was genuine. He encouraged me to re-read the bible as much as I can. I’ve got a children's version of it over and over. The book of Enoch, Ester --both not in the bible, and Job are my faves. For some reason that version is the best way I can understand especially with the pictures. I hate when Christians tell he how I need to read the bible. Like leave me alone. At least I’m reading or listening to it. Seriously sometimes I can’t have conversations without someone taking out their bible and tell me how to read it. When I say I really can’t just sit there all day trying to read AND interpret it, I’m doing so the best way I can. It means I can’t do it. I do it in my own way and that’s all that matters to God. I understand what I understand and HOW I understand it. Like the documentaries about the bible and it’s archaeological proof that events really happened. The great food is a big one. That was the one documentary that got me thinking twice about being an Atheist. Now, I consider myself a Gnostic Theist considering everything I have learned about The Realms (not exactly spirit realms) and where I and SOME of my friends are from. Otherwise I’d have to be Gnostic.

As my pendulum swung, so did my head.

In every other word I was able to “hear” them. He would let me know by going “ding!”. It was alarming (no pun intended) to figure out all of a sudden I knew what he was say as every other word kind of appeared in my head. I remembered this was part of my own ascension. We had merged and everything was happening so fast. So by the end of ‘18 I was literally beginning to hear him just by listening to the frequency of 110hz playing in my speakers. Then I started to hear him when there ever was a steady beat like in footsteps, the sound of rain, when I was washing a plate, every sylable was like:

It’s--Oh--Kay--I--M--Not--Go--ing--to--hur--t--you!

I was talking to myself and I heard him! I freaked out. As in I really thought I was going insane. It didn’t want it. I kept saying to him that I wasn’t ready! I got over my fear and before you know it, I’m having conversations with him while watching a Netflix and YouTube! It was like I had him in my headset. We had the kind of long-distance relationship I seeked before he died. Once, I forgot he was dead. When it sunk in again, It had me by the ovaries and I dare say I fell apart because I wished he was alive. By ‘19 without my pendulum I can hear him in my right ear. When he’s yelling, the sound carries over to my left side. It really feels like someone is screaming in your ear in a concert hall. You can imagine the kind of psycho-happy he was when I could finally hear him! We even sing together!

But then I couldn’t get him to STFU! At first it was creepy, then cool, then I’m being tested on my ability to shut him off! Since we merged and God married us, everything was so fast it was hard to keep up. So overwhelmed, God and my Granny would visit to encourage me to move forward and that I’m not doing anything wrong. Through the hard times happening between Vince and I they stood by me always. Erik and I communicate as though time wasn’t even a thing. We are two-peas-in-a-pod! He’s my Twin Flame, Spirit Guide, best friend and my “spirit spouse”.

Erik said that in my ascension the last step is being able to see him.

I long since said I didn’t want to. It was hard and painful (That’s what she said!) to know he’s dead. Well he forced me to by sending in dude that kind of resembled him up until we got to Dean Winchester. I was like:

“Ummmm, errrrrr, no, sorry but no way man. You have to be joking. You are a far cry from him. I just don’t see it!”

So of course he wouldn’t shut up because of course he was going to annoy me AGAIN by embarrassing myself around dudes. Oh god I’ll never really forget the first time I nearly died. I wasn’t ready. I looked like I had just crawled out of bed! Why of why hadn’t I been given notice. My third-eye would pop-off when he was getting my attention. Sure enough I look up and hide behind Vince gasping for air. Not quite a dopple-ganger but good enough to freak me out. He wanted me to make that correction as he’s kind of hovering over my shoulder as he always does.

Anyway *rolls eyes* So i watched a few to find, wow I guess he’s right especial the parts he loves his car, music like Metallica, ACDC, ect...Oh yeah and how he thinks he’s “adorable”. Well I don’t think he’s adorable....I’M ADORABLE, BITCH! There can only be MEEEEEE! But he makes a point there. Being we are Twin Flames that makes us both adorable. Sure, whatevs. I learned to gather up my ovaries and said, “fuck it”, I’ve seen and heard what he wanted me to and admitted yeah, sure, I give up, he wins. As always he gets what he wants. He’s totally salty I said that. No, he’s not a dick. He’s a pansy. He’s threatening to hit me with a wrench. Too bad he can’t do it for real but then again I can’t really bonk him on the head either. I get more satisfaction with physical contact...Oh god, ”That’s what she said!”. He’s a slick dick all talk and no action.

I really feel like this hole experience makes a good story and a good lesson in persistence, patience, and spiritual growth. It’s surprising to me that like on all “hobbies” I’m able to follow through on this journey as long as I have. The things that kept me doing this is the love and support from my friends here, Erik, Granny and God. Literally I asked for this and it’s like “Be careful of what you ask for” kind of thing except Twin Flames wasn’t in my vocabulary. The dreams and incidences that occurred leading me to him all were for a reason no matter how painful and torturous they were. I’ve never cried so much but I’ve never healed so much. This is like spiritual boot camp. My guides break my down to lift me up. I’m coming out of this process a stronger than before. I have to really thank my guides for all the things they put me through.

My own kind of ascension might be over now that I can see, hear, and even feel Erik. At least what he called our ascension process. It is to my understanding like our own individual spiritual journey, our own ascension process is different too. This is not a one size fits all gig. There is no right or wrong way. To bark around with, no this is this or that is that ( I’m guilty of it too...) is kind of silly if we are all individual and unique being on earth! It feel cool but as I’ve said before, just because this processed ended doesn’t mean our story or whatever we have is over. We both still have much to discover and share in our day to day life.

For those who have followed me through this,

Again, Thank you all!

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hayleysstark · 5 years

Note

Queenie emerges! Thank you for answering my asks! Don't worry about taking too long to reply, I know the Internet can be a pain sometimes lol. Sadly, I had to cancel my Netflix subscription, so my Merlin binge has come to an end for now. But, I absolutely adored watching the episodes and geeking out with you! Hopefully I can continue the series in the future. Speaking of the future, if you were able to write a season 6, how would you do it? I'd love to hear your interpretation!

Oh no I’m sorry you lost your Netflix subscription. That sucks :( I’m glad you enjoyed what you saw of Merlin, though, and thank you so much for letting me talk your ear off about it for the past few weeks lmao. I’m sure I’ve lost at least like,,,,,,,,, a hundred followers,,,,,,,,in the last two weeks alone. what can i say??? People don’t follow me to hear my thoughts and i honestly can’t blame them.

Season 6?? dfghjkytghnfgfd can i get uhhhhh a complete rewrite of S4 and S5 instead???? As much as I ADORE S4 ((Servant of Two Masters???? The Darkest Hour???? Aithusa??? The Sword in the Stone???? Lamia???? all EXTREMELY BLESSED thank you)) I can admit that it has its flaws for sure, to say NOTHING of S5 ((it was literally eleven goddamn episodes of how much filler can we pack in before Arthur has to die and it was,,,,,,,, just Objectively Bad like I can’t even.)) Like can we just. can we just talk. about S4 and S5?

S4 went all right for the first few episodes, objectively speaking - and more than all right, personally speaking. Absolutely adored the season premiere two-parter, and “The Wicked Day” was a perfect blend of solemn but hopeful, absolutely everything I could have imagined for Arthur’s inevitable ascension to the throne. I think, ironically enough, “Servant of Two Masters” is riiiiiiight about where I would have deviated from canon. Like right after it. the episode right after it.

4x07. “The Secret Sharer”. Whoo boy. You didn’t say whether you saw this one or not, so here’s the lowdown: Morgana’s been searching tirelessly for the all-powerful sorcerer Emrys, ‘cause the Callieach ((the gatekeeper to the world of the dead)) informed her that Emrys was to be her doom. She enlists the Lord Agravaine, Arthur’s slimy uncle and her personal spy within the kingdom, to try and help her find Emrys, as she believes he’s hiding in Camelot, close to Arthur. Merlin, of course, is Emrys, and when Agravaine questions Gaius in the absolute least subtle way he possibly can ((literally what the fuck Agravaine how have you survived as a spy this long)), Gaius lies like a rug. UNfortunately, Agravaine isn’t fooled, and remains convinced he knows something. Meanwhile, Arthur finally gets his head on straight and realizes there’s a traitor in his court. Give the boy a prize. Anyway, he suspects his slimy uncle Agravaine, but Agravaine turns Arthur’s distrust around onto Gaius instead, convinces Arthur to interrogate him, you know. Arthur continues to make terrible decisions and comes to the conclusion that, as Gaius never out-and-out condemns sorcery during the course of his interrogation, because he must be untrustworthy. Cue Agravaine taking this opportunity to kidnap Gaius because fuck the elderly right??? anyway, he brings Gaius to Morgana, who’s hired this dude named Alator to torture for information about the elusive Emrys. It’s really convoluted, just go with it. BUT, since Agravaine is the snake to end all snakes, he didn’t JUST kidnap Gaius, oh, no, he staged it so it looked as if Gaius ran away from the kingdom. Arthur thinks Gaius is a traitor who practices magic and scarpered at the first sign of trouble, Merlin of course knows Gaius is completely innocent, Arthur still refuses to send a search party, so of course it’s up to Merlin to find and rescue Gaius. Gwaine comes along for the ride, so go Gwaine, basically. Sir Gwaine is the real mvp and that is just the tea.

ANYWAY so now you’re up to speed. BUT. but. In the S4 rewrite, let’s make it so Merlin doesn’t rescue Gaius. Let’s make it so he can’t find Gaius. Let’s make it so he searches high and low, but Agravaine covered his tracks way too well. We can intersperse the remainder of the season with scenes of unsettling, even outright gory, if we want to go that route, torture. The viewer can see in horrific detail as Gaius’ imprisonment steadily grows more brutal and unlivable until they genuinely don’t think he’s going to last. Or, alternatively? Radio silence. Nothing from Gaius after that episode. The viewer doesn’t know if he’s dead or alive. The viewer knows nothing Merlin doesn’t. Either way, it would help set the tone they were obviously aiming for - the grim, grisly shit they never quite achieved.

And removing Gaius from the narrative changes very little about the rest of the season as a whole. Merlin and Arthur’s relationship grows steadily more strained as Merlin continues his quest to rescue Gaius from Morgana, and Arthur remains stubbornly convinced of Gaius’ treachery. Even better? Merlin is completely, totally alone, allowing the story to take progressively darker and darker turns, and the demands of destiny to weigh even heavier on Merlin’s shoulders than they already do. The next two episodes - “Lamia” and “Lancelot du Lac” - could still happen. Without Gaius. And a doubly painful blow to Arthur in “Lancelot du Lac” - the betrayal of Guinevere, his future queen, and Lancelot, his noblest knight, is just another ache to add to the pile at this point. Even if the viewer disagrees with Arthur’s decisions up til now, his pain would doubtless give their heartstrings a tug or two. And with his and Merlin’s friendship buckling under the stress, Arthur has, or is at least convinced he has, next to no one left to turn to.

“Herald of a New Age” serves as a major turning for Arthur’s character in canon, and I don’t want to hurt or minimize that at all, but at the same time, I would certainly change it in any way I could to make it less....... dull, I suppose? I feel bad calling it that, as it’s one of the precious few episodes that focuses on Elyan, who I love and adore and support with everything in me, and oh, how I wanted to like this one, but I was honestly bored out of my mind for half of it. Not to mention, Elyan just watched his king banish his sister from their lifelong home, and he’s????? okay with it???? what. what. what. Definitely would have added in a bit of tension between Arthur and Elyan for this episode, possibly even for the rest of the season as a whole, and a hell of a lot more focus on Elyan warring with himself, torn between his loyalty to Gwen and his loyalty to Arthur.

“The Hunter’s Heart” was another one I personally found dull, but I don’t necessarily think it was a failing in the narrative itself so much as an opinion. I hold no love for Princess Mithian, and the writers’ attempts to force their series to mesh as fully as possible with the mythology was,,,,,,,,, clumsy, to say the least. No thank you. Personally? I would cut this entire episode from the series, but I recognize and respect it wasn’t exactly bad, just not to my speed.

“The Sword in the Stone”? SHIT GETS REAL SON!!!!! At the end of “The Hunter’s Heart”, we receive a small glimpse of Gaius, but it’s far from reassuring - he’s not dead, but he’s damn near close, and he’s just broken under Alator’s torture, and revealed Emrys’ true identity to a furious Morgana, who swears to topple Camelot and exact her revenge on both Arthur and Merlin, and she’s got a few tricks up her sleeve this time to ensure it happens.

Morgana marches on Camelot, and takes the kingdom, with Agravaine by her side, and as in the episode, Arthur and Merlin manage to get out of the citadel and into the relative safety of the woods, but the knights aren’t so lucky, and wind up imprisoned in the castle dungeons.

And while Morgana obviously didn’t plan on Arthur and Merlin slipping through her grasp yet again, she’s not as shaken as she could be by the thought of Emrys and his king out there working against her - we’re gonna be doing some serious switching around here, and taking the Eancanah from the S5 finale and setting it loose on Merlin here instead. Thus, Merlin is on the run with Arthur, and without his magic.

Arthur can’t know this last bit, of course, but Arthur’s having his own issues. His uncle’s betrayal has completely shattered him at this point. He’s at his absolute lowest here, out of confidence, out of courage, out of the tenacity that’s seen him through every other trial. So many have turned their back on him, after all. What’s wrong with him, he wonders, that makes them betray him? What’s wrong with him, he asks Merlin, that those he cherishes most don’t care for him at all?

The friendship between Merlin and Arthur that’s been crumbling all season faces the ultimate test here. While Merlin struggles to restore Arthur’s self-confidence, he’s hard put to keep himself going, as well - his magic defines him, his magic is who he is, his essence, his lifeblood, and what is he without it? Who is he without it? If he can’t use magic, what good is he? If he can’t use magic, what does he matter?

On their journey to regroup, and retake Camelot, Merlin and Arthur find and rescue Gaius, badly injured and in desperate need of medical attention, and of course, Gwen as well, who Arthur realizes he can no longer live without, in spite of her perceived betrayal. He’s still got a long way to go before he’s completely back to his old self, but the restoration of his relationship with both Gwen and Gaius buoys him, and it sets him on his path once again.

Merlin absolutely falls apart upon seeing his mentor in such a state, of course - look, the father/son feels would be STRONG, I’m just saying. Merlin does everything he can to save Gaius - he’s sure magic is the answer, a bit of magic would do it, if only he had his magic. He’s forced to resort to the old-fashioned way, for now, and to his own intense surprise, manages well enough to keep Gaius going for far longer than he ever would have if Merlin hadn’t stepped in at all. In fact, Merlin does a lot of things like that - things he didn’t even realize he knew how to do, things he didn’t even realize he could, and slowly starts to see that yes, his magic is a part of him, but that’s all it is. A part. A piece of the whole. And he’s the whole. And he matters, and he’s good for something, and he’s a badass, without magic, because magic is NOT all he is goddamn it!!!

Arthur pulls the sword out of the stone, as in canon, and I like to imagine Merlin gets his magic back when - and ONLY when - he accepts that he’s a whole and complete person without it, because that should have been a thing at some point. ((”you cannot lose what you are” fhrfhgfggfgfdfd mY ASS. Merlin is PURE BADASSERY and UNDYING LOYALTY and y’all can leave if y’all try and say magic is all he is.))

Anyway, Arthur and Merlin and co. retake Camelot because we gotta give these kids SOMETHING, and Morgana is killed in the struggle, because let’s face it, by S5, she felt really fucking STALE as a villain. So. Arthur stabs her with Excalibur - or maybe that should be Merlin, because “Emrys is your doom” anyone? also not sure Arthur could bring himself to kill Morgana, to be honest.

Onto S5!!!! can you believe how fucking long this is already but I’m gonna keep going, because I’m really in my stride at this point. Okay, with Morgana dead, and Arthur and Gwen on the throne, Camelot has officially hit its Golden Age. Arthur has slowly begun to change his views on magic, with some small, inevitable steps backward here and there. He’s making peace with the druids, relaxing his stance on sorcerers in his city, uniting Albion, all the good shit. Gaius survived, at the end of S4, but barely, and even now, he remains weakened and frail, and everyone kind of knows he might not see the end of the year. Kilgharrah continues to give cryptic advice. Merlin wants to tell Arthur about his magic but is also a dumbass and can’t bring himself to do it even though the opportunity is RIGHT THERE and we as the audience scream at him to get a move on.

ANYWAY. With Morgana dead, no one’s left to threaten Camelot, right? Everyone’s gone, right? Merlin has all the time in the world to tell Arthur about his magic, and Arthur has all the time in the world to grow into the king Kilgharrah says he will, right?? lmao. no.

Because - wait for it - MORDRED GONNA FUCK SHIT UP SON. MORDRED’S JUST. OUT HERE. FUCKING SHIT UP. Mordred is MAD tbh, he’s really fucking sick of waiting around for Emrys to get his ass in gear and free magic and be the savior of the druids and all that shit. Mordred’s sick of it. He doesn’t care WHAT the prophecies say, it’s OBVIOUS the Triple Goddess chose wrong, and as far as he’s concerned, it’s up to HIM to fix it. So Mordred, with his ladylove, Kara, are raising a literal ARMY of sorcerers, witches, ex-druids, and the like, to exact their freedom from Emrys. They don’t care about Arthur. They’re not after Arthur. In fact, they’re pretty okay with Arthur. He’s not the man making pretty promises edged in gold and not delivering.

Mordred and Kara deliver an ultimatum to Camelot, threatening to tear the kingdom apart, brick by fucking brick, unless King Arthur gives Emrys up to them, and lets them have their way with him. Poor Arthur is like ??????????? I’m sorry????? who is this Mr. Emrys???? what did he do to piss y’all off???? can i interest y’all in a peace treaty?????

Arthur fails to comply with Mordred’s demands, and deliver Emrys to him, so the attacks begin, growing progressively more violent as the weeks go by. Of course Arthur doesn’t take it lying down - he and his knights go out to counter every assault, to try and intercept every threat, but they’re losing, and they can’t pretend otherwise. They rely on steel and sinew alone, whereas Mordred’s army uses magic in spades. They summon deadly magical creatures, they kill the crops, they manipulate the weather to bring about droughts. They do everything they can to topple Camelot. Merlin is almost sick with the guilt and shame of it all, as he watches his home torn apart, razed to the ground, all because of him. He tells Arthur the truth, and gives himself up, and Arthur’s so furious with Merlin, he doesn’t even try to stop him from heading into Mordred’s clutches, but Gwaine gets wind of what’s going down and he’s just like FUCK NO and goes after Merlin because he’s the Real MVP aaaaand this,,,,,, sounds like a bad fanfiction doesnt it ANYWAY Cue The Battle of Camlann FOR REASONS!!! and utter heartbreak. but with more time for Arthur to adjust to Merlin having magic, and working things out with him. jUST!!! more than one episode where Arthur knows the truth about Merlin!!! pls!!!! pls!!!! thats!!!! all i ask!!! also Arthur’s conscious when he meets Kilgharrah and wants to know why the FUCK Merlin is friends with the DRAGON that ATTACKED his kingdom. talk your way out of that one, Merlin. I fucking dare you.

fghytghbfdfhgfg GOD i’m,,,,,,, so sorry,,,,,,, this got,,,,,,,, so long,,,,,,,, dfhytghnjhgfghgfghgfrty if you made it to the end,,,,,,, thank you,,,,,i’m so sorry,,,,,, i talked,,,,,, so much,,,,,,,

#merlin #bbc merlin #ask #queenie #Anonymous

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hallelujuh · 6 years

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shay’s favorite tv shows from 2017

this has been in my drafts for.... nine months.... fuck.

Written in December 2017, updates are from September 2018.

Considering how many new, innovative shows are around these days, I didn’t get too adventurous this year, but I’m satisfied with the ones I did watch. I discovered new shows, I was impressed by the shows I’ve been following for years, and I learned to appreciate the work that goes into television more. Here’s my top ten TV shows..

10. Thirteen Reasons Why - In all honestly, this is only here because I haven’t been able to watch Peaky Blinders yet, and it’s probably too late. (UPDATE: Watched it in Jan and it was amazing.) This show received a lot of backlash, and for good reason, although it had its moments. The characters were well-written, the relationships were given depth that is often lacking in other high school-set narratives, and the tone was great. I’ve always loved watching things that make me profoundly sad, and this show did just that. (UPDATE: Season 2 was fucking garbage lmao.)

Standout episode: Tape 1, Side B. It’s a cripplingly depressing show, but this episode stood out as a moment of light in Hannah’s dark reality. Her friendship with Jessica and Alex was nice in the beginning - their banter, them having a spot in the coffee shop. I remember assuming Alex was gay (I believe his actor is, so I wasn’t too off) and thinking that’d be good for Hannah, to have a guy friend who wasn’t interested in her and wouldn’t add relationship drama to her life. Boy, was I wrong. Still, having seen the show at the beginning of the year, this episode is the only one I remember as enjoying, so it gets this spot.

9. A Series of Unfortunate Events - I read the books in elementary school, and they’re one of my favorite series of all time. I’m also a huge fan of the film, though I know most aren’t. So I was very excited for this series, and it didn’t completely disappoint. While I found myself longing for the actors from the 2004 motion picture, and some of the directing decisions weren’t choice, it was cool to see The Miserable Mill finally come to life, and I loved the Baudelaires just as much here as anyone else. I’ll be tuning in to next season, since I’ve very, very excited to see how they handle the next three books. I can’t wait to meet the Quagmire triplets, and Esme, and Jacques! It’ll be awesome. I hope they portray it well, but there’s no film to compare it to from here on out, so maybe it’ll be different.

Standout episode: The Reptile Room: Part One/Two. Like I said, I wasn’t a huge fan of how most of the characters were portrayed in this adaption, but I did love Uncle Monty. He was just as wonderful as he was in the film and books. Watching his interactions with the kids was really nice, and as always, made me wish they could’ve remained with him. Stephano wasn’t as menacing here as he is in the film (that knife scene is the point in the film where you go, “woah, this dude’s for real. he’s scary”), which was a bummer because I still thought Olaf was a laughably bad and incompetent villain by the finale, but I did like Poe’s hysteria, and I really loved the movie theatre scene.

8. Riverdale - Oops I never wrote this dfdsbfjdbfjds.

7. South Park - While we all can agree the last season was a mess, and this one was only a slight improvement, it did have it’s moments. I’ve been a fan for five years now, so at this point, they’ll never disappoint me, tbfh.

Standout episode: Doubling Down. While Put it Down was wonderful, both satirically and because of Craig and Tweek’s adorable relationship, the eighth episode of the season was my personal favorite (UPDATE: Not sure why ‘cause I didn’t specify then and I’m not sure now.)

6. Dear White People - I didn’t do this one either damn.

Standout Episode: Chapter V. While the show is a comedic take on racial relations, this episode is an emotional, serious change. The Barry Jenkins-directed episode shows us that the subject is no laughing matter, and it very clearly deserves this spot.

5. Rick and Morty - Yet another show I discovered this year, during the summer. I’d been meaning to watch it for ages, and I finally got around to it. While the fanbase is pretty much poison, the show is pretty damn good. Maybe not what it’s hyped up to be, but great none-the-less. I’m a big fan of adult cartoons, and RaM isn’t entirely satirical like South Park, and it’s not self-aware like BoJack, but it holds up. It’s probably so popular because of how unique it is.

Standout episode: The Ricklantis Mixup. While my personal favorite of Season 3 was The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, because I adore Jerry, I think we can all agree that the was the best episode of the season, if not the series. Like, really. Holy shit.

4. Gotham - I began watching this show last year, and caught up to season three around halfway through it. It began to drag a bit, admittedly, like it couldn’t carry it’s own weight - but now the show’s on season four, and it gets a little wild sometimes, but it’s holding quite a bit better, I’d say. I was pretty fucking impressed, especially with the Nygmobblepot stuff.

Standout episode: A Dark Knight: Queen Takes Knight. Although Mad City: The Gentle Art of Making Enemies from Season 3 is a close runner-up, for all the loose ends it ties up, and so cleanly, too - the winter finale gets this spot. It had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat (since I was actually curled up in bed) the entire time. While Sophia’s character and her motivations had remained muddy since her introduction, her badassery finally came to the forefront, and it was awesome. The way she tore down Penguin from his throne? Incredible. We know he’ll return, as he has so many times, but really, that was so incredible. Considering he’s my favorite character, I should feel worse. However, Sophia executed her plan so well, I was too awed to hate her. Also, Jerome’s back! I’m extremely excited to see Jerome’s role in the upcoming episodes. (Update: Oh, honey, you got a big storm coming...)

3. BoJack Horseman - I binged the hell out of this show just before season four came out, because it was so creative and thought-provoking and hilariously depressing. The fourth season was notably wonderful in a lot of ways, particularly because of Todd’s sexuality arc (the first out asexual character in a TV show!) and how well it was handled, but also because of the mature themes they took on. Princess Carolyn’s miscarriages, Diane and Mr. PB’s failing marriage, BoJack’s struggle to forgive his mother, Beatrice’s own troubled upbringing, Hollyhock’s eating disorder. I watched the whole season in three days when it was first released, four months ago, and I’m currently considering re-watching it after rereading the summaries of each episode to refresh my memory. I’d forgotten how phenomenal it was. It’s on another level - it really is.

Standout episode: Time’s Arrow. Though there wasn’t a single weak episode this season, this one definitely stood out. Following the tradition of uniquely depressing eleventh episodes, Time’s Arrow focuses on BoJack’s mother and how her turbulent childhood affected her. Gorgeously executed, it makes us pity the woman who made our favorite alcoholic horse the way he is, and it concludes with BoJack making peace with his mother, who he had spent so long resenting. It’s just a gorgeous episode. I think I’m going to rewatch it right now, haha.

2. Mr. Robot - I’ve wanted to watch this show since it came out, but I finally began and finished the first two seasons just weeks before Season 3 came out. Since I’m discussing my favorites of 2017, I won’t be talking about those first two seasons here. I’ll be focusing on Season 3, which has been, in my opinion, incredible. What began as a modern, nerdy take on Fight Club has become so much more; a masterfully dark and suspenseful fictionalized look at the looming political state of our world. We’ve gotten new characters (Irving, who’s a gem), we’ve learned more about older but mysterious characters (poor repressed Dom), we’ve had to say goodbye to old characters (I’m still mad about ******), and best of all, this season has been Tyrell heavy, and we even got to see Elliot make peace with Mr. Robot.

Standout episode: S3/EP8, eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko - The previous episode had already established a gorgeously melancholy setting through the use of Mac Quayle's gorgeous production 2.0_6-madame3xecutioner.oga, which, as a huge fan of film scores, I instantly fell in love with. The song is featured during a scene I watched several times - the scene when Angela repeatedly rewinds the explosion, unable to cope with the reality of it. It left me feeling similar to the way I had after watching American Beauty for the first time - like the world was a different shade. I thought this would be the only moment the show could invoke that response from me, but then the next episode came out. Unlike Ep. 7, Ep. 8 didn’t have a single moment. The whole episode brimmed with pain and sadness. The show’s already sad, but the lonely, isolated feeling is often overwhelmed by the suspense, drama, and excitement. This episode let the characters hurt without interruption, and it was wonderfully emotional.

1. The Get Down - I was so thrilled when I discovered this show in April, literally a few days after Part 2 had aired. I downloaded all the episodes for a road trip, and literally could not put it down the entire tme. It blended all my favorite things - the art of rap, the origin and evolution of hip hop, how battle rapping/deejaying came to be. The music was stellar, the cinematography was breathtaking, the acting was (for the most part) wonderful, and the cast was fantastic. I’ve seen some criticizing it, because of its occasionally choppy narrative and the fact that Baz Luhrmann added his usual whimsical take on something that was historically fairly dark, but I thought it was flawless. It was definitely groundbreaking in its amount of representation, and it was fun and colorful and emotional and, overall, just absolutely wonderful. Like many others, I was pretty devastated when they cancelled it. I understand why, but I wish it could get the Sense 8 treatment and receive a movie. There’s too many loose ends - it’s a real bummer. Still, I’m grateful we were blessed with this gem of a show at all.

Standout episode: S1/EP11, Only from Exile Can We Come Home - The final episode gets this spot for a single scene; the one where it alternates between Mylene singing “I’m my #1″ in the hotel room with Jackie and all the drag queens, and the scene where an unreleased Miguel song is playing while Dizzy & Thor paint on each other, and then Shao calls Dizzy his “alien brother.” That scene was easily one of my favorites I’ve ever seen in any show, in my entire life. If that episode was a film, that scene alone would guarantee it a spot on my favorite films list. It was that good.

#mine #txt #2017

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fiftyshitsofgay · 7 years

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whoaa slow your roll there buddy boo

i most only watch clips of the show.

i stopped seriously following it when s5a hit. the only episodes of that season i willingly subjected myself to had next to nothing to do with the main plot.

i don’t care about anon hate. i simply can’t be bothered lol. just bc you took the time to come into my inbox and make your argument doesn’t mean you’re going to change my opinion and especially not by insulting my intelligence. i’m actually kind of flattered you feel threatened enough to send me a message so congrats buddy you failed in not only making me feel dumb but hurting any feelings i have left lmao

i am not the right person to come to on this. as much as i love analysis i’m not even moderately good at it. i can’t provide pages upon pages of proof to debate with you because what you want me to address is not my area of expertise. i really like regina, and i really despise hook, but i simply cannot be as thorough in my response as others can. so while i can’t shut you down, nor do i really want to tbh, you still picked a losing battle.

while you’re here tho… i’ll do my best?

yes, regina basically raped graham repeatedly. it was absolutely horrible and he did not deserve any of what happened to him from how he was treated to how he died. but the fact after all this time emma and co. are still unaware of truth concerning his death? that’s just shit writing.

yes, regina razed many a village in her ultimate quest to kill snow white. but the narrative has devoted so much into showing the side effects of what happened after she got her revenge. she won, but it’s a hollow victory. once she left ftl and entered the real world, even under the shield of a magical town, real world consequences followed–she’s no longer queen, after all. the second season was all about that, e.g. her addiction to magic cost her henry, even if only temporarily. this is when she actively made a choice to be a better person for his sake, even going to therapy. there’s probably more but like i said, i’m not the best person to argue with you on this.

as for hook, i can’t even begin to pinpoint where his “redemption” began. when i first binged the show back in 2014, my least favorite arc was the latest one at the time: the neverland arc. all i could remember from then was hook’s “when i win your heart, and i will win it…” bc it made me super uncomfortable. was it then? was it when he showed david the magic cure-all water after deciding not to kill him? was it when he all but demanded a kiss from emma for saving her dad’s life, something she clearly had no intention of doing until he verbally elbowed her? was it when he admitted his deep dark secret was the fact he was falling for her? was it when he tried to blame his shitty behavior on his hand? was it when he said he wouldn’t leave emma but did so anyway?

when exactly did his redemption arc start? i’ve been wracking my brain for a while trying to figure it out. i even asked my very observant girlfriend, who watched this shit show because of me, where she thought it began. you know what she said? my sweet girl wasn’t aware he even had one. this tells us two things: either the writing is just that bad, or he never had one. or hell, both.

just because he married emma does not mean he is redeemed. her flashbacks to it on the roof looked more like a horror movie than a good time.

just because henry used the the words “captain hook” and “true love” in the same proximity does not mean he is redeemed. i can’t seem to recall a kiss that conquered anything.

just because he has the badge now definitely does not mean he is fucking redeemed. if anything he’d be more inclined to be a corrupt cop.

regina, on the other hand, found true love again despite it being temporary (rip robin hood), had her tlk with henry just like emma, repaired her relationship with snow, gained an ally in the form of her older half-sister, saw both her parents go to the good place, got light magic, and the dwarves even modified the door to her office to show their respect for her.

she hasn’t come a long way? she’s come a helluva longer way than hook!

i will tell you this, sweetheart: my hatred of your precious pirate stems from an easily forgotten plot point in s2–while aurora was unconscious, hook used the opportunity to insert his horror hand into her body, take her heart, and, give it to cora. i believe the words he used was “it was a gift.” later on, when he tries to cancel his action by catching the satchel before it falls into the void, he has this to say:

“I may be a pirate, but I bristle at the thought of a woman losing her heart – unless it’s over me.”

funny.

it’s unfortunate graham is dead, because who knows how he’d react to who regina is now? she’s come so far. aurora, meanwhile, will never get an apology from hook, if he even remembers. i, however, do. and my view of him has been tainted ever since.

anyway, hope you have a nice day. i truly mean it. you must need it more than i do considering you feel the need to send messages like these to an unknown side-blog like me.

#anti hook #Regina Mills #anti killian jones #anti CS #anti ouat #let me know if i should change anything

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shadowtearling · 7 years

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January is over! I’m both glad and surprised it came and went so quickly. I feel proud of myself for reading as much as I did this month!!!! I think the new year is always a good motivator to read read read. I love it. I’m doing a better job so far this year of reading whenever I can and taking advantage of my spare time in between and before classes. PLUS the long commute helps. Last year, I constantly found reason to NOT read, and this year, it’s like I can’t get enough! I also apparently can’t get enough of the exclamation point. Is it too much? Also! Do you all like this new banner? Any font suggestions? I’m clearly terrible at picking fonts; too indecisive. :( Anyway! On to the books!!!

Rating system: 2017 is the year of reading critically if I want to add diversity to my list of priorities for the kind books to be reading. This means also being a little more stingy with my ratings. (I don’t feel bad about this actually. I found I feel guiltier giving out five stars willy nilly, so this is an improvement!). This rating system is still arbitrary, so three star ratings don’t always have the same weight to them. As always, I rate based on my own thoughts and feelings, and as always, these are my opinions (unless I’m speaking about my marginalization(s). Don’t argue lmao).

Rating Scale: 🌟 - 1 whole star ⭐️ - ½ star

Nichijou: My ordinary life (Vol. 1 & 2) by Keiichi Arawi - 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 3/5 (for both) This is a manga series about high school everyday life, but with a twist! (she said with sarcasm) There are a bunch of girls in high school and one of them happens to be a robot who just wants to fit in and be human (and her child scientist companion). One of the girls also happens to love making puns, one of them is the typical deadpan-type of characters, and the others are the normal ones. Some jokes were funny, most of them were not. I love puns, but this just had really terrible ones. The characters were supremely uninteresting, and I really don’t care about any of them. That said, while I was reading this, I guess I was entertained for the time being. This helps pass time quickly, but not the greatest manga I’ve ever encountered.

Sweetness and Lightning (Vol. 1) by Gido Amagakure - 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 3/5 What’s better than food-related manga? Nothing! Except, I can find better food-related manga out there than this lmao. This was fun to read, but I found all of the characters were bland. I couldn’t find myself too invested in their stories. I also feel like this is going in the direction of student-teacher relationship (younger me would have loved that, but me now is absolutely creeped out by the idea of it). The child is adorable, though. I also do really love the positive relationship between the child and the dad, so that’s one redeeming quality. I don’t think I’ll continue with this series, though, unless I find copies of this for cheaps.

Orange (Omnibus Vol. 1 & 2) by Ichigo Takano - 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 5/5 (for both) Out of all 12 books I’ve read this month, these are the only two five-star reads! I’m stingy lmao. Anyway, this was soooooooo good! Basically, this series is about this girl, Naho, who on the first day of her junior year (I THINK... don’t hold me to this), she receives a letter from future her telling her what will happen on those days and what she needs to do versus what she should avoid doing. She dismisses that letter until the contents come true! So this series then entails what happens with those letters and Naho & her friends. I cried so many tears and felt so many feelings. I related so hard to Kakeru even though our struggles were not the same. I also really loved the ending (even though I know a lot of people didn’t like how open-ended it was). I appreciated that aspect of the story because it feels true to the kind of tale it’s telling. It perfectly depicts how friends first react versus how they should react to other friends’ struggles. I really love the dynamics between every person, and I can only wish this series was longer to explore the different friendships we were introduced to. I HIGHLY recommend this series. Please go read it! (And then tell me so we can binge-watch the anime together!)

Something in Between by Melissa de la Cruz - 🌟 🌟 🌟 ⭐️ = 3.5/5 A story with a Filipina lead?! Sign me up! This tells the story of Jasmine who is the perfect student and is set to kick ass in college until she learns that her and her entire family have been illegal immigrants the entire time, and this super awesome scholarship she was supposed to get can no longer help her. I really loved getting to see my own culture reflected in this story (this is an #ownvoices ;) so go check it out). I didn’t appreciate the little jabs at other cultures though I do understand where it comes from. I also think there was so much happening? I feel like Jasmine and her fam were trying to tackle so much all at once (it’s realistic bc what POC doesn’t go thru so much in so little time), but also it made for a messy story. OH! I hated the writing lmao. It was tacky and not my style. I also think I’m just hella tired of YA contemporaries, but as of right now, they’re the biggest source for diversity in any YA category. Fantasy is still far too white lol. I still would recommend this because it is an important story that helps humanize immigrants, but beware lmao.

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli- 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 3/5 I really enjoyed this story, but I was expecting so much more than what I was given. I hear everyone always raving about how fantastic this book was, but I think this was way too overhyped for me, which is why I didn’t like it as much as everyone else. I feel like the tension between friends was either unnecessary or done poorly (I’m talking about Leah here). HOWEVER, I still do like it. Simon was a fun character, and Blue was also really interesting. I also really love the discussion around consent and identity, and I think it was done well.

Welcome to the Shadowhunter Academy (#1) by Cassandra Clare - 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 3/5 Simon felt reaaaaaally out of character in this novella. Maybe that’s bc of what happened at the end of TMI and that’s a valid excuse, but it makes me uncomfortable. Simon was one of the better characters in that series, and I really feel like he got butchered here. With that said, however, I do think that this novella shows improvement in CC’s writing because I still surprisingly enjoyed it. I just don’t think I’ll continue on with CC’s works? I think this is me breaking up with the Shadowhunter chronicles. She’s also highly problematic, so there’s that.

The Star Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi - 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 4/5 LOVE This! An #Ownvoices fantasy about Mayavati whose horoscope entails a marriage with death and destruction. I buddy read this one with one of my really close friends (she doesn’t read too often), and we both really enjoyed it. Maya is this really dynamic character that, as the story progresses, really matures in a realistic way. The writing was phenomenal but I do think it was a bit out of place? Idk I always have problems whenever the writing is sophisticated but then it’s first person POV. Like.... I’m pretty positive that my brain cannot conceive even half of those words to describe what’s happening around me. I’d see a tree and I’d describe it as “green and really tall...” So there’s that. I also think that the writing kind of made it difficult to fall in love with the couple. I didn’t totally buy the romance, despite me loving both characters individually. I love the incorporation of different aspects of Indian culture as part of the fantasy elements of the world. I would love more from this story, but as it stands, this is where Maya’s story ends (the next book is actually a companion........). I highly recommend it! (Even though it sounds like I didn’t like it lmao I promise I did).

Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake - 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 4/5 I absolutely loved this. First of all, I appreciate that I can tell each sister apart from one another because they have such distinct personalities (Arisonoe is my fave as it turns out even if she has a dumb ass name). It’s a super slow book that basically builds up to the fight to the death (it doesn’t actually happen in this book). I knew that going in which is why I wasn’t salty when it didn’t happen. Basically, we get introduced to the sisters in this book, find out that there are some hella issues going on with their missing powers, and it gave us time to get used to the world all while introducing us to the characters. My number one biggest giant complaint is that I realllllly fucking hate Joseph. He’s an asshat and I hope he dies in book two. Katharine please kill him. There was an unnecessary love triangle lmao like fuck off with that shit maybe. I also hated Pietyr. So basically, the dudes are assholes and the girls are fantastic. Maybe that was the point? This is a matriarchal society so I guess it worked. Highly recommend if you really like politically-driven books and a large cast of characters.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seannan McGuire - 🌟 🌟 🌟 ⭐️ = 3.5/5 The writing is quite calming. Also confusing. This is another one of those far too hyped for me to love in the same way everyone else does. i appreciate the amazing concept and the wonderful conversations taking place in this book about identity, sexuality, gender, and mental illness. However, it was too short for me to really love any of the characters. I certainly failed to connect with the MC and didn’t feel for her anguish. It also left a bad taste in my mouth that the first person to be killed off in the murder mystery aspect happens to be POC when there were like 20 other white kids lmao........ NOT THAT I CONDONE MURDER but why we gotta kill POC for....... Idk. Proceed with caution I guess.

Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe- 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 3/5 This was funny as hell. Basically, it’s about this lady whose name we never really know because she keeps changing it to suit her needs. She was born in a prison, so she’s set up to fail in every aspect of her life bc poor and no family. HOWEVER, this is the story of how she eventually says fuck you to everyone and succeeds anyway bc why not. I read this for class, and I highly enjoyed it. Problems: there were literally zero chapter breaks, random ass capitalization (why must 17/18th century authors do this to me), too many much cataloging of goods (though that was literally the point is to be excessive... I get it... pls stop), and the author basically just said to the plot “GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO” without taking a break. If you like classics similar to Jane Austen (but without the romance part bc she just basically scams all her husbands lmao), I think this is a really good one to check out.

Thank you, lovely, for reading through this mess of a post. I love you and I hope you have a wonderful February reading month!

#wrap up #2017 #january 2017 #january #books #book #bookish #booklr #book reviews #read #reading #readingwu #readingwu 2017

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