#live laugh love kanej
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hey! i love your posts! i was wondering if you could possibly do an analysis on the infamous bathroom scene? why does kaz choose this time to get close to inej and help her with her bandages? do you think he went in with the intention to try and give her physical affection or did it just happen? why does he choose to kiss her neck and is there significance to that? no rush, but i’d love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks so much for your question! I know you said I rush but it really has been a long time so I’m so sorry this took forever, but let’s go!
So the bathroom scene begins very specifically parallel with one of the earliest scenes of Six of Crows, when Kaz is washing in his room at the Slat and Inej walks in to deliver him news, and I think this is supposed to give us a sense of finality. It increases the tension, because at this point the reader is very aware that not everyone is necessarily going to survive Kaz's plan and having this echo could therefore look something frighteningly like closure to prepare us for losing one or both of the pair. Now this can be interpreted as a red herring, Leigh Bardugo is the queen of hitting where the mark’s not looking and she feeds us a lot of red herrings to hide her actual foreshadowing (I made a post about it a while ago now but in summary she’s a genius), and this could definitely be an extension of that to draw attention away from Matthias, similarly to how she focuses on the possibility of Matthias losing Nina a lot more than she does Nina losing Matthias, or it could be a hark back to Inej looking at the murals of animals running in circles in Six of Crows, describing them as “destined to chase each other for as long as the Ice Court stood” (or along those lines sorry I don’t have my books with me at the minute) as a metaphor for her and Kaz’s relationship. I think that the cyclical nature of this scene is meant to reference that in order to suggest that actually they have found a way to break the cycle, because they succeeded at the Ice Court, they metaphorically brought it down and so the cycle is broken, and the fact that there are several distinct differences between these parallel scenes enhances that for me.
This scene is only given to us in detail from Kaz's POV, whereas the early scene is from Inej's, and in each case the opposite character is arguably in the more vulnerable appearing position. In the first scene Kaz is shirtless, washing blood off himself, and Inej is actively discomforted by the immodesty of the interaction between them. In the bathroom scene, Inej has removed her tunic and I believe is wearing a tank top, which for her is a massively vulnerable way to be seen because she covers most of her skin all the time - particularly her arms because of her scars from the removal of the Menagerie tattoo. By this point the scars has been removed by Nina when she was high on parem, but that doesn't make Inej's psychological connection to them end and it definitely doesn't decrease her feeling of vulnerability when her skin is on show. There's also the added tension of Inej being injured in this scene. Although both scenes are in the aftermath of danger, the bathroom scene has a far stronger sense of the further danger to come than the earlier one did, since at the time we knew so little of the heist and the plan. Inej's injury solidifies this and makes the danger feel constant and real, as well as intensely increasing her vulnerability in a way that she is very aware of.
The fact that Kaz chooses now to get close to her intensifies this sense of danger and makes the reader very aware that Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, the man we have witnessed successfully breaking in and out of the Ice Court, cutting out a man's eye, scaring a small child so badly she'll probably need therapy as an adult, murdering, thieving, and being so committed to his plans that he swallowed and regurgitated a set of lockpicks without a second thought, is actually, genuinely terrified that he won't come back from the next stage of his plan. In fact he's so terrified that he has decided to face the only other thing that frightens him, so that if he dies today at least he tried. I'm not sure if he went in with the intention of moving from helping her with the bandages to physical intimacy, because even the bandages alone would be a huge step for him. It's possible that once he'd committed to helping her with the bandages anyway, that he decided to push himself as far as possible in case he never got another chance. Possibly if he'd taken things in smaller steps he would have been able to cope with helping her today, and then know that he could help her again, and maybe one day after that he'll be able to kiss her. But one of the things that makes this moment so beautiful is that this is a snippet of time where Kaz and Inej are the only thing that exist, there is no future and if they try hard enough maybe there can be no past, maybe there can just be the present, there can just be this. Kaz takes these steps now becasue he doesn't see a chance to do it again, and although this does wonders to enhance the importance and the beauty of the scene it is also terrifying as a reader to face the very real possibility of Kaz not coming back.
I’m really glad you mentioned him kissing her neck because I do think it’s possibly symbolic and quite meaningful. Whilst both of them struggle with physical contact to different capacities, it’s important to note that whilst Kaz’s fear of contact has made intimacy a seeming impossibility for him, for Inej it’s intimacy itself that’s the biggest influence on her pain. She struggles with any contact she isn’t prepared for beforehand, but only ever finds it worth explaining when it’s a form of intimacy - “the first time Nina hugged me, I flinched”. Even though Inej consents in the scene and doesn’t, at least not vocally or physically and therefore not to the reader’s knowledge, change her mind, she never initiates anything. I think this is important because it forces Kaz to be the one who handles the initial contact; if she touched him skin-on-skin without him forcing himself to do so first then he probably would have shut down and panicked a lot sooner because he wasn’t in control. But he also shows such an important understanding that Inej also needs some level of control. And that control comes in her decision to return the kiss. If he kissed her lips she would be forced to face the prospect of her worst fear “would she kiss him back? Could she be herself in such a moment or […] a doll in his arms, a girl who would never quite be whole”. (Again, sorry, operating on memory alone for the quotes). By kissing her neck, Kaz is able to create this moment of sensuality without taking control of it any more than he needs to for his own sake, making sure that the choice always remains hers. It also makes me think of when Nina kisses Matthias on the neck whilst searching his pockets for parem, when she says that she didn’t kiss his lips because she would not let the drug take that from her. Leigh Bardugo establishes this kiss on the lips as something powerful early on in the book and it comes into play once again here, with Kaz and Inej acknowledging that kind of connection to be a far more symbolic one for them than an initial contact is. In much the same way that Kaz refused to be the one to mark Inej again, he will not be the one to kiss her lips and create a situation she is unprepared to deal with. Ultimately, he has to be able to touch her skin first, and she has to be able to kiss his lips first.
Ok I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I was going to go about this and then suddenly all of that was on the page, but I think what I'm going to do now is pick some specific quotes or moments from the scene to talk about.
"I don't have the words to thank you" "I'm sure the Suli have a thousand proverbs for such an occasion" "words have not been invented for such an occasion" "if I end up on the gallows you can say something nice over the corpse" - honestly not sure if I have anything to say about this I just love this conversation so damn much
"if that were true my shadow would have put Ketterdam in permananent night" "maybe. or maybe your someone else's shadow" "You mean Pekka" - I feel like I talk about Kaz being Pekka's shadow an awful lot but I am just so obsessed with the idea, they are literary foils but there are also such important distinct differences between them it’s just incredible
“I don’t sell girl into brothels, I don’t con helpless kids out if their money” “look at the floor of the crow club, Kaz,” - okay so of the same vein and again I feel like I talk about it a lot, in fact it’s literally what inspired the entire fic im writing (if you wanna read it all the chapters are tagged under “Maya Olsen oc”) but these lines are so goddamn heartbreaking I will never get over them
“How could she still look at the world that way?” - it’s just really interesting to me to have this direct address of comparison of the way their view has been shaped by their experiences, particularly as I’ve talked a lot about Inej having to come to terms with the idea that what happened to her isn’t just a cruel part of the world but an individual piece of a cruel world especially with seeing the “Rare Spices” billboard using hyper-sexualised Suli women to sell the products (I made a whole post on that too) and yet still she sees hope in the world. A lot of this I think is to do with her faith, because instead of believing that there can be no god or saints or other form of deity because of the cruelty in the world, as Kaz does (it’s confirmed that he prayed as a child but is obviously now very atheistic, though we don’t get a lot of detail about what religion he may or may not have practiced), a big part of Inej’s path to hell by is believing that fate planned this for her so that it would lead her to stopping it from happening to others. I struggle with this idea because it seems to imply that it makes her pain worthy of going through when obviously no-one should ever have to experience such trauma, but there are many different ways of interpreting this and personally I don’t think that Inej believes her Saints did this to her for a reason but that she believes they have found a reason for her to continue after after the fact and given her a cause in order to help her through her experiences. I hope this makes sense it’s starting to feel a bit ramble-y
Oh my god I just wrote loads after that and it didn’t save. Oh my god no I can’t believe it I’ve been writing for so long 😭 ok erm… oh god I’m so annoyed right now I can’t remember everything I wrote and it was so much like I’d nearly got to the end of the chapter doing a quote by quote analysis. Ok I’m going to try and reconstruct what I did but please bare with if this isn’t my best work because usually I write very freely when I do these and just throw whatever comes into my head into the page so cautiously trying to think back to what I said originally might make it come across a bit stilted.
I can’t believe I’ve done this 😭
“The distance between them felt like nothing. It felt like miles” - his internal conflict is so brilliantly written and it’s so heartbreaking; the way this is far too close but it’s much too far away
“Graceful as always. A girl underwater” - again this internal conflict, the way she’s underwater because her movements are fluid but she’s also underwater because to touch her it to drown
“His gloves lay discarded […] they looked like dead animals”
“Maybe he would never get to the Slat. Maybe this would kill him.”
“Inej’s eyes were wide and dark. Lost planets. Black moons” - I will never shut up about the fact that soc starts with Joost wishing Anya had blue eyes instead of brown so they were easier to compliment, and then the two books are absolutely overflowing with Kaz and Inej describing each other’s beautiful brown eyes
“It’s shame that eats men whole. He was drowning it. Drowning in the Ketterdam harbour”
“Even now a boy will smile at me on the street, or Jesper will put his arm around my waist, and I feel I��m going to vanish,” - this is such and important moment, this scene is the most vulnerable and open Inej ever is out loud and I think it’s such a massive concession to her trust in Kaz. I think that, especially because the scene is written from Kaz’s perspective, we get a lot more emphasis on his struggle than on Inej’s and although it’s really important to discuss Kaz I do think that sometimes we tread a thin line of focusing on him at the expense of losing focus on Inej and it’s so massively important to acknowledge both of them. This is also one of the things that I think was the biggest downfall of the way the writing in shadow and bone season 2 treated Inej, although I absolutely adore the show and I think that everything Amita Suman does shows that she understands the character in a deep and beautiful level, I also think it’s so so important to realise that not once in either season does that script actually state that the Menagerie is a brothel. One of my friends who hasn’t read the books didn’t get the full picture of Inej’s backstory until I filled in some small gaps for her because the writing just didn’t do her full justice, and I think that’s really unfortunate not least because it means that to some who hasn’t read the books a lot of Inej’s actions in season 2 would come across as her trying rush Kaz into something he isn’t ready for when that isn’t the situation in the slightest
“The room tilted. He clung to the tether of her voice” - I’ve seen a lot of stuff online about the focus points of contact between grishaverse couples and the way their represented, for example with Malina it’s their hands (the way they hold hands as Alina is grabbed by Volcra and it amplifies her power, the way they reach to intertwine their fingers in the meadow, etc). And most of these label the eyes as Kanej’s focal point of contact, and whilst I agree with that I also think that the voice is a massively underrepresented one, especially from Kaz’s perspective. It’s Inej’s voice that helps him work through his panic attack in soc and it’s Inej’s voice that keeps him afloat now, arguably because it’s a form of connection between them that requires no closeness or input, it just exists and can be relied upon.
“I live in fear that I’ll see one of her… one of my clients on the street. For a long time I thought I recognised them everywhere. But sometimes I think what they did to me wasn’t the worst of it” - okay I want to warn you guys now I wrote a long and in depth analysis on this quote and I was incredibly passionate and very proud of it so I’n really really annoyed it didn’t save, and I’m sorry because my analysis now is probably not going to live up to what I wrote earlier but here we go:
For me, this is a massively important quote and there are two ways to read it. Firstly, that when she refers to “her” Inej means Heleen but edits her words as a continuation of this vulnerability she is forcing herself to share. The second is going to link to something I said a while ago about how we could compare a separation of “Inej” and “The Wraith” to the separation of “Kaz” and “Dirtyhands”, but this is a bit more like the separation of “Rietveld” and “Brekker”. Inej talks a lot about how she would leave her body behind to exist only in her mind, in passages I find particularly reminiscent of passages in The Handmaid’s Tale (although please note soc is not very explicit whereas tht is incredibly explicit). But to take that idea further, I think there are certain hints, and I think this is possibly the biggest one, to imply that one of Inej’s ptsd responses it to actually view herself today as a separate entity from who she was during her indenture, effectively saying ‘yes these things happened to this body but they didn’t happen to this mind so that should make it easier’ to herself, which is massively self-destructive in nature because it almost creates this idea that she needs to get over who she once was and move on, very similar to the way Kaz Brekker represses Kaz Rietveld. Arguably, what she’s saying is the worst of it is this fracturing of the self that has been created by what they put her through and that she cannot seem to escape from. Now obviously I don’t know the intent behind Leigh Bardugo’s words and I want to be very clear that there are different possible interpretations of this, this one in particular does happen to more darkly resonate with her ptsd that does not make it correct or incorrect but I think it’s worth considering, especially when it adds another layer to the parallels between her and Kaz.
Ok I’m not going to write out the full quote because it’s quite long but starting from the line “Tante Heleen wasn’t always cruel” - now I talked about this a bit in my post about a comparison between Inej and Wylan as subsequent to a comparison between Heleen and Van Eck, but very specifically in this passage Inej describes this horrifying, heart-shattering image of the way Heleen attempted to instil something akin to Stockholm Syndrome within the girls at the Menagerie, by forcing them to believe that she was their only hope for survival, that she was kinder to them than anyone else would be, that they had to prove they deserved to stay with her, that any abuse she brought down on them came from a place of some kind of twisted love or care because she had to do this to make them understand, that if they would just be good and if they would just understand then she wouldn’t have to hurt them but they won’t do they are forcing her to do this. It’s so painful and it tells us so much detail about Inej’s experience without actually going into tiny explicit details.
“Feeling regret and release as he broke contact with her skin” - again so brilliantly highlighting his internal conflict
“He could feel the warmth of her on his fingers like fever” - if I had a list of my favourite similes in literature… well it would be very long, but this would be on it!!! The subtlety and yet emphasis on Kaz’s internal conflict is so beautifully written here, with the warmth of her flesh against his creating this sensual atmosphere but the comparison of it to fever, to the illness that killed Jordie and took Kaz to the Reaper’s Barge, adds to the way the reminder of his pain is threaded through every moment even when he isn’t physically suffering a flashback, it’s just constantly present and inescapable
“That rapid pulse fluttering in her throat. Alive. Alive. Alive” - agaiiiiiiiiiiiin with the so brilliantly written internal conflict I will never get over. The entire scene is at war with itself, every sentence at odds with its own content. The sexual tension created in the image of the fast heart rate and the way this makes you feel alive versus the desperate need to keep reminding himself that she is alive and breathing she is not a body on the Reaper’s Barge.
Ohhhhh just the whole description of Kaz saying “after all she’d endured, he was the weak one” and explaining the pain of watching the others able to hold each other, how difficult it is to see Nina hug her and Jesper out his arm around her genuinely makes me want to cry, it resonates so sadly with the scene when they arrive at the Geldrenner and all the others are hugging and so happy to see each other alive, and Nina says that even if Kaz isn’t happy to see them they’re happy to see him, meanwhile Kaz is in a war of self loathing because he so intensely fears that they hate him because they think he hates them but he has no way of expressing himself and it’s just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know?
“He watched that pulse, the evidence of her heart”
The whole passage that follows this moment I can’t explain it any other way than I feel like I’m melting every time I read it. I saw a Tumblr post someone had put on Pinterest recently and if I find it again I’ll put the op username in the comments but it basically said that when a writer can write something that isn’t a sex scene as if it’s a sex scene that it’s kind of magical and I think in a lot of ways this resonates massively with this scene
Ugh and then I want to cry again when he can’t cope and the I ability to express himself becomes anger and becomes descriptions of violence. This is the only time we get a full feel for the absolute unending mess of Kaz’s theist for revenge; it’s never enough, not the banks, not the attorneys, not the man from the cafe, not the boy who lured them in, not Margit, not Saskia, and Pekka Rollins won’t be. I always wonder if it’s important that we’re never told what he did to Saskia. We know that the roper was tortured and left dead with “the key to a wind up dog shoved down his throat” so we know Kaz exercises some kind of poetic justice in his violence, and we see that in his revenge against Rollins too. Maybe he strangled her with a red hair ribbon. Maybe he never actually hurt her. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to.
“You don’t ask for forgiveness Kaz. You earn it,” “and is that what you intend to do? By hunting slavers?” “By hunting slavers” - maybe it’s just because of the intonation choice on my audiobook (which btw is awesome shout out to the narrators of the audiobook love you guys) but this to me comes across as Kaz attempting to mock Inej in his harried, terrified, clearly losing control state and her so calmly standing her ground and standing by what she believes in
“His eyes scanned her face […] snatching at the pieces of her like the thief he was”
“But if he was going to die today maybe the one thing he’d earned was the memory of her, brighter than anything he would ever have a right to, to take with him to the other side.”
The way the last moments of the scene include him putting back in the gloves, reconstructing the armour
“He might as well go to meet his death in style” - this is gonna be out of tune with everything else I’ve said but damn what an icon love this line
“Whatever happens to me, survive this city. Get your ship, have your vengeance, carve your name into their bones, but survive this mess I’ve gotten us into.” - I may simply ✨cease to exist✨. But genuinely I’ve mentioned several times before about how the city of Ketterdam almost becomes it’s own character as the antagonist because ultimately it’s the system, not any individual, that has to be defeated and I think this quote highlights it so well. There are individual people that have to be dealt with and deserve everything that will be brought done upon them, but it’s the city itself that you have to watch out for or it will swallow you whole
I’m not going to go into detail about their tells because I’ve made a post devoted to them before and good lord this post is getting long, but I just want to emphasise that it’s a brilliant passage
“If you’ve ever cared about me at all, don’t follow” - I just absolutely adore that the next chapter starts with Inej following him mimicking these exact words I love her so damn much it makes giggle every time
“Inej was wrong about one thing. He knew exactly what he intended to leave behind when was gone: Damage” - *collapses* God I adore this there are no words
Ok wow if you made it this far thank you so much for reading this honestly I’m very impressed that you did because this is long. There are definitely details that I’ve lost because I had to require so much of it, which is a real shame but there’s still a lot to talk about here and I’ve written so much is possibly best for the sake of all our sanity’s that there isn’t more. Sorry I took so long to respond to your question but thank you so so much for asking it, I hope you all like this and that it at least made some sense because as I’ve said before these things often make more sense in my own head than they do on paper. Thanks for reading 💖
#this may actually be *too* long#is there a point when it becomes unreasonable?#I was going to make a joke about my Roman Empire but I don’t think any of you needed telling that it was these beautiful novels#they actually just consume me#grishaverse#six of crows#leigh bardugo#crooked kingdom#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#nina zenik#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#matthias helvar#kanej#I’ve been in a very kanej mood recently#live laugh love kanej#kanej has my whole heart#kanej bathroom scene#ck bathroom scene#kanej brainrot#*cries in kanej*
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i love being a fake fan i still haven’t watched s&b but i have seen literally every single cast interview and i think everybody should clap for a little crows spinoff so frederick james carter can stay employed or else ill burn down the basement that they run n*tflix in 🤗
#qq#i know i am losing the war on parasociality!#but the cast is soooo charismatic pls I wanna be friends with all of them and i specifically want to make out w/ nina’s actress#i did watch all the scenes w/ kaz inej n nina#ish. or what was available on youtube#in my defense i dont have any of those damn streaming subscriptions!#i actually factually have a crush on daniella’s laugh some1 cast me as another asian love triangle threat to these messy whites!#or lemme replace tolya i can sell the poetry wannabe besties w/ kaz while terrorizing him by flirting w/ his crush better#the intellectuals in the writing room for this season were fighting for their lives but i respect the battles they picked#(making kaz a poetry reader and adding a kanej love triangle)#i hope jesper n wylan break up#soc
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don’t get me wrong i live for the “i would come for you” quote in crooked kingdom, but kanej just have so many good quotes that are just so sad and so wonderful and sometimes funny. like “one minute he made her BLUSH and the next he made her want to commit murder.” and “it was as if once kaz has seen her, he’d understood how to KEEP SEEING HER.” and “i can hear the change in kaz’s breathing when he looks at you . . . it CATCHES every time, like he’s NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE.” and “that she was LOVELY AND BRAVE and better than anything he deserved. that he was TWISTED, CROOKED, WRONG, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man FOR HER.” and “but they TRIED. he tried. MAYBE they could try AGAIN.” and “that’s the laugh.” and “what do you WANT, then? . . . but a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. YOU, INEJ. YOU.” and “give me a reason to STAY. for all his selfishness and cruelty, kaz was still THE BOY WHO HAD SAVED HER. she wanted to believe he was WORTH SAVING too.”
#grishaverse#shadow and bone#sab#six of crows#soc#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#kanej#they make me want to die inside#but its so heartwarming to know that in the end inej got her freedom and love and kaz could start healing from what had happened to him
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after reflection on shadow and bone season 2 i am not a hater i am a lover. yeah maybe the book storylines are messy but the show was phenomenal. freddy did so amazing like i could go on for hours. and daisy as genya was everything. the crows my beloved i would do anything for them. seeing wesper on screen yeah i was kicking my feet giggling. i need season 3. we must get them renewed. i’m not even mad about what they did with alina (except for the white hair i’ve been talking about that since season 1 i need it) like i’m not a mal fan so you go girl. this is not saying archie didn’t do a phenomenal job like he had me rooting for mal (never saw that coming) but like imagine what they can do now. i’m a supporter. do whatever you want show i’ll be here. tolya and tamar were perfect and nikolai finally grew on me (the tv version. book nikolai is my favorite character live laugh love KoS duology). yeah i’m just excited for the potential about what can now happen with ice court and alina like i do love her dearly i’ll take more always. the books and the tv show can exist separately and they can both be amazing. GIVE ME SEASON 3. oh my god i can’t even speak on kanej like i was on the edge of my seat i adore them. i do want to say i believe david is not dead they can’t do that so early. i’m holding out hope idc he’s coming back.
i just really love the show and this cast and i don’t want to lose them. there’s no time for being upset there’s only praise for amazing performances and seeing characters i adore brought to life.
#shadow and bone#sab spoilers#shadow and bone spoilers#wesper#alina starkov#genya safin#six of crows#kaz brekker#kanej#david kostyk
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I've been reading a lot of thrillers lately, and just....can we talk about how much thriller-protagonist-potential the Kanej child has?? (Although tbh my personal hc is that Inej and Kaz choose not to have kids, but that's a story for another day)
Like...just picture it!
The kid, let's call her, idk, Maya? is 30 now and has had a normal childhood and a good relationship to her parents. They moved a lot, so she had to get accustomed to a lot of new places, but she could manage.
Her mother, who was away a lot, died while she was young because she was sick- at least that's what Maya's father told her, but the older she gets, the more she starts to doubt he's telling the truth. Her father has always been a little protective, but she loves him dearly. Now however, he's old and in the process of dying and Maya feels so lost now that she's lost her whole family.
Then she starts spotting a tall zemini man hanging around and watching her. He's her dad's age, but she has never seen him around. Eventually, she asks him what he wants, and he claims he's an old friend of her parents and he hasn't seen them in a while. He introduces himself as Jesper and says he's from Ketterdam, and that he's met her parents there which confuses her because her parents have never lived even close to Ketterdam, have they?
At least not long enough to form any meaningful friendships. Her dad grew up on a farm far away from the city and her mom grew up in Ravka and they met while she was performing. At least that's what they always told her. When Jesper learns that Maya is Kaz's and Inej's child, he backs off, claiming it's not his place to say anything. She doesn't see him for a while after that, but she immediately goes to visit the hospice her dad is in to ask him what this was about.
But her dad isn't alone. Some strange man is in the room with him, and he doesn't look friendly. He keeps calling her dad "Brekker" for some reason; as far as she knows, his name before he married her mom was "Rietveld", wasn't it...? And he keeps talking about some "debt" he has to pay. Her father laughs tiredly and points out that he's literally in a hospice and dying, so why would he care? But then they both see Maya enter. Her dad looks mortified while the man smirks before he leaves while he tells her dad he will "see him around".
Maya asks her dad what this was all about, and who this Jesper-guy was, and if he's ever lived in Ketterdam, but he acts like he has no idea. He's really insistent she move in with her boyfriend however, which is strange because he doesn't like her boyfriend that much. For some reason though, the thought of her being alone terrifies him.
Maya starts rummaging around in her parents' past and doesn't realize what danger she's in because the man who had visited her dad wasn't kidding around about making him pay. The big twist in the end is that she finds out her parents' REAL identity; her mom wasn't taken by illness, she died at sea because she was a goddamn pirate! Omg?? And her dad was thought to be a literal demon terrorizing Ketterdam?? Wtf?!
Also, yeah, they DID grow up in Ravka/on a farm, but what they failed to mention was that her mom got taken at a very young age and forced into child prostitution, while her dad lost his father to a PLOW ACCIDENT when he was nine and then his brother to the plague (at least THAT part was true!) and then ended up on Reaper's Barge. The man who had visited him in the hospice was some podge he'd scammed, and the Jesper-guy was basically like a BROTHER to her parents until they both faked their deaths in order to protect him and his husband. What?!
It has a bittersweet ending. Kaz dies, Maya and her boyfriend manage to fight the strange man off, and Maya reaches out to the only living family that remains: Jesper and his husband. They visit them in their mansion, have dinner- a woman called Nina Zenik joins; apparently, she had been mom's best friend and something like dad's older sister figure ("Me and Kaz? Gross! Kaz was always like an annoying little brother to me!") and exchange stories about Inej and Kaz Ghafa.
(Did her dad really, at one point, say that Ketterdam was his mother and Profit was his father?! Maya always knew dads could be cringy and that her dad specifically could be painfully melodramatic, but holy sht, that takes it to a new level!)
Jesper and Wylan love having them around, and soon it becomes a regular thing. Since Jesper and Wylan have no children of their own, Wylan puts Maya in his will. Like her parents used to, she now lives in Ketterdam, but makes sure she and her own children in the future will have a better life. When she marries her boyfriend, Wylan and Jesper walk her down the isle.
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shamelessly stolen from my dash
Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll roughly to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people.
watermelon marmalade, we're making out: "Wait—" he tries to say, but his mind doesn't seem inclined to catch up to what's actually going on. All he can think about is that Wylan was fucking him so good, dragging it rough and slow at the same time just like Jesper liked — and now he is five feet away, pale like he has seen a ghost.
it could've been a nightmare: All he can see is the luminescent lights that make up Makker's Wheel, numbers and lines in bright, blue-ish bone light. His eyes dart left and right, frightened and alert.
if I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight: Wylan follows him down and he straddles him, legs on either side of Jesper, dagger held high above him. He is panting, rosy cheeks and pleased eyes. He is beautiful — beautiful. Jesper wants to reach out and take his damp hair between his fingers. He wants to draw his hand to his nape and meet him in a heated, slow, warm kiss — and it would be explosive, with their cells all fired up because of the fight and their hearts beating like crazy already. Pretty, he thinks. And,
"Pretty," he whispers in a haze.
experience - in a time lapse (the only kanej in the bunch): The rest of the day goes by softly — Kaz cooks for her, and he holds her hand often, and he kisses her knuckles and smiles at her with his most boyish and sweet smile — the one all lips and no teeth, all gleaming eyes and blushed cheeks.
Periwinkle Powder: "Better get yourself busy, or I might beat your body count, today."
Jesper blinks a couple times. "Clients," he realizes after some very long seconds, and then he erupts into a ravenous laugh. Wild, wild, just like their magic, just like Jesper's very soul. Wylan feels dumbstruck.
Red roses for you: "You know, ignoring me twice is pretty rude."
The beautiful boy finally glances at him, and Jesper gulps under the intensity of his sky blue eyes.
come on and jump, well, I dare you: Wylan, though, can't take his eyes off Jesper. Some of his shirt's buttons have snapped open, somewhere between all the hugs and jumps and runs around Kaz's living room. His surgery scars are showing against his dark skin, and Wylan thinks he wants to kiss them.
wanting you now (but that's wishful thinking): So, he was crying — sobbing, even — behind a crowd of bushes, when he met intense, serious blue eyes.
"Do you mind my company?"
The child had red curls and a lot of freckles and some kind of sadness in his gaze. Jesper shaked his head and he moved so that the child could crawl under the bushes with him.
without warning (love shakes my heart): He doesn't want to try that chance, not with Wylan, not when he feels a whole ballet school dancing in his stomach, elephants trumpeting and stomping their feet against his inner walls, butterflies flapping their wings so fast that it's almost too fast, even for him.
tagging: @sunfl8wer @jackwolfes @oneofthewednesdays @wesperbrekkered @noconcernfor & whoever wants to do it! feel free to steal it as I did
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i think something’s happening now!! Uh oh !!!
Llama reads TRC: Chapters 22-25 of The Raven Boys
Chapter 22
Omg helicopter time
Loving the Helen and Gansey sibling banter
“That’s all.” WOOO GANSEY FINALLY RECOGNIZING HER VOICE
“Blue. Do you know Gansey?” OHOHO UH OH
This reoccurring triangle istg
Oh they’re ley lines. Why didn’t I realize that before.
“I’m always straight” “Oh, man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.” PFFFFT HAHHAAHA
oh my god A RAVEN !! I SURE HOPE THIS DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING !!! <- in fear
Chapter 23
I’m sorry the clocks are what.
Uh oh
“Noah?” WAIT. IS THIS. IS THIS WHERE WHELK DID THE RITUAL?? I COULD BE GETTING THIS COMPLETELY WRONG BUT !!! ITS MAKING ME THINK !!!
WHY ARE THE FISH RED WHATS HAPPENING
Do NOT stand in the tree cavity PLEASE
BLUE
Is she gonna get eaten by the tree
UHHH. WHAT
“Blue, kiss me” WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT WAIT WAIT HOLD ON
Adam :((( WHAT DID HE SEE
“I saw Glendower” everyone is having traumatic visions in the moldy tree meanwhile Gansey is living his Glendower kinnie fanfiction dream 😭
Chapter 24
What do you MEAN they were only there for 7 minutes WHAT
“Not that it’s not a cool name. Just that it’s…unusual.” Ok Richard Campbell Gansey III
Ronan chewing on his leather bracelets completely nonchalantly why is he like this /pos
“I’ve always liked the name Jane.” Gansey has too much audacity someone needs to humble him /lh /hj
“Although he couldn’t seem to stop teasing her.” Kanej thoughts are still plaguing my brain and this dynamic being in this book is Not helping /pos
Blue laughs for the first time at something Gansey said!!!
Chapter 25
Blue hanging out more with the Raven boys :D !!!
Adam describing the way Ronan swears at him in the most loving and affectionate way possible,,,
Blue Sargent 🤝 Zoya Nazyalensky Smelling like wildflowers and their love interests being obsessed with it
“He looked joyful and adoring, like a Labrador retriever.” NOAH IS A DOG BOY IM GONNA CRY
“This is precisely why I didn’t want to have a baby with you.” GANSEY?? COULD YOU NOT HAVE WORDED THIS ANY OTHER WAY???
Noah is such a creature I feel like if he was described to be hunched in a corner eating a live bird I wouldn’t question it. I love him sm
Noah Czerny 🤝 Inej Ghafa Appearing out of nowhere and scaring the crap out of their friends
Oooo creepy stone with writing on it
Uhh Ronan
“In case I didn’t recognize my own handwriting.” WHAT
Sorry for the long wait, finding time to read while also putting my thoughts down is hard BUT we’ve passed the halfway mark :))) I have a feeling something is about to go very very wrong and idk if I’m ready
#the raven cycle#the raven boys#blue sargent#richard gansey#adam parrish#ronan lynch#noah czerny#llama reads trc#constellama talks
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friendly fucking reminder when both kanej were close to death, they thought of each other.
“her vision was blurring, but she could make out a pale, shiny scar on kaz’s neck, right beneath his jaw. she remembered the first time she’d seen him at the menagerie. he paid tante heleen for information—stock tips, political pillow talk, anything the menagerie’s clients blabbed about when drunk or giddy on bliss. he never visited heleen’s girls, though plenty would have been happy to take him up to their rooms. they claimed he gave them the shivers, that his hands were permanently stained with blood beneath those black gloves, but she had recognized an eagerness in their voices and the way they watched him with their eyes.
one night, as he’d passed her in the parlor, she’d done a foolish thing, a reckless thing. i can help you, she’d whispered. he’d glanced at her, the proceeded on his way as if she’d said nothing at all. the next morning, she’d been called to tante heleen’s parlor. she’d been sure another beating was coming or worse, but instead, kaz brekker had been standing there, leaning on his crowhead cane, waiting to change her life.”
-
“survive. survive. survive. it was the way he’d lived his life, moment to moment, breath to breath, since that terrible morning when he’d woken up to find that jordie was still dead and he was still very much alive. he thought of inej’s hand on his cheek. his mind had gone jagged at the sensation, a riot of confusion. it had been terror and disgust and—in all of that clamor—desire, a wish that lingered still, the hope that she would touch him again.”
-
“the first time he’d seen inej at the menagerie, in purple silk, her eyes lined with kohl. the bone-handled knife he had given her.”
-
“you shouldn’t make friends with crows.
why not?
he’d looked up from his desk to answer, but whatever he’d been about to say had vanished on his tongue.
the sun was out for once, and inej had turned her face to it. her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. the harbor wind had lifted her dark hair, and for a moment kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world.
why not? she’d repeated, eyes still closed.
he said the first thing that popped into his head. they don’t have any manners.
neither do you, kaz. she’d laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. it terrified him.”
-
“but all he could think of was inej. she had to live. she had to have made it out of the ice court. and if she hadn’t, then he had to live to rescue her. he needed to tell her...what? that she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. that he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. that without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. he needed to thank her for his new hat.”
-
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Looking for moots!
Hi thereee, I'm assuming you're a kpop fan, or maybe anime, or books given that I've showed up on your dash, so let me introduce myself.
My friend and I were getting bored with our previous writing pages so we decided to race to 100 followers on new accounts (she's a really cool writer so I'll def drop her @ after the race is over so y'all can check out her stuff too). I'm Aelyn (most people just call me Aly) and I write for a lot of different fandoms. I don't really do nsfw (I'm just not good at it haha) but I write cute scenarios with my favs. I'd appreciate it if you give me a follow!
here's my favs and biases :)
seventeen (vernon biased)
ateez (yeosang biased)
enhyphen (riki biased)
stray kids (hyunjin biased)
bungou stray dogs (live laugh love soukoku)
attack on titan
alice in borderland (we stan chishiya here)
grishaverse (kanej has my heart)
acotar/tog
lord of the rings (forever and always a legolas girlie)
miraculous ladybug (yes I'm still emotionally attatched to a children show lol.. someone talk to me ab season 5 plz i just finished it)
and more...
If you like any of these things I'd love to be moots!
#ateez#seventeen#straykids#bungou stray dogs#aot#grishaverse#lordoftherings#skz x reader#svt x reader#ateez x reader#aot x reader#enhypen#enha x reader#alice in borderland#lotr#anime#kpop#bsd#soukoku#kanej#wesper#dorian havilliard#acotar#tog#sjm#svt imagines#skz imagines#svt fluff#skz fluff#ateez imagines
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Kaz Brekker/Kanej Modern AU headcanons that no one asked for but I know to be true in my bones:
On extremely rare occasions, Kaz listens to country music very very quietly in the car. Inej knows this means he’s missing Jordie & his Da, furthermore, he’s missing home. This is something he initially tried to hide from her, but his phone is programmed to facial recognize her, too. She opened it on his Spotify one time when he asked her to check the directions to the place they were going. It was open to “Broken Halos” by Chris Stapleton. Now, she knows. Now, she holds his bare hand on her lap during those car rides. Now, she knows all the words and sings along softly, off key and gentle.
For Jordie’s birthday every year, Kaz spends the day reading. He reads all the books he picks up throughout the year that he thinks Jordie would have loved. In the evening, he drinks hot chocolate spiked with warm southern rum. As the years pass, Inej joins in. She lights a candle in the whipped cream, they don’t sing, but they hold hands and watch the wick burn down until Kaz works up the courage to blow it out, signaling one more year without his best friend.
Inej never ever lets Kaz run out of cologne. He didn’t notice until after two years of living together, he remarked that his bottle never seemed to get low. Inej corrected him and told him that she also uses it as a pillow spray and he actually goes through two (2) bottles per year.
Kaz helps Inej break in her point shoes for the ballet studio. They drink and laugh and smash shoes against the wall of their little studio apartment until the neighbors pound on the ceiling below them.
So… I may be writing a modern Kanej story. Stay tuned in 2023. 🤭
#six of crows#crooked kingdom#kanej#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#shadow and bone#kaz x inej#soc#grishaverse#leigh bardugo#dealing with our demons#soc fanfic#ao3#ao3 author#kanej fanfic#ao3 fanfic#dwod#six of crows fanfic#the battles of before#the dregs
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Do you ever just think about the horrendously painful poetic justice that one day when Kaz dies he’ll be forced to go to the Reaper’s Barge one last time, that ultimately his running from it in his mind is futile because it’s his inevitable end, that Inej might even watch him go not knowing the full truth because he never told her about that part, or are you normal?
#grishaverse#leigh bardugo#six of crows#crooked kingdom#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#kanej#kanej headcanon#kanej supremacy#kanej my beloved#live laugh love kanej#reapers barge#poetic justice
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The Kaz and Wesper wedding gift fic or the Tim and Damian time travel fic, your choice.
I answered the Tim-Damian time travel fic one the last time I did this and I don't really have much to add on from that answer, so I'll link that one here and answer the Kaz-Wesper Wedding Gift WIP!
So. How did I come up with this fic idea? “Kaz should give his childhood farm to Jesper and Wylan as a wedding gift or something” I said offhandedly in the replies of my meta about Kanej not wanting to live there themselves as a split-second compromise for what he should do with it instead...and then proceeded to think very hard about that very scenario.
The love, trust, and respect it would show for Kaz to literally hand over his childhood to them...not wanting to live in it himself but wanting it to 'stay in the family' in the only and best way he knows how...knowing they'll take good care of it and get more use and joy out of it than he ever will at this point...gifting Jesper the open sky and big fields to run in that he desperately misses and Wylan implicit entrance into a family history of love...yeah anyway I have a lot of feelings about this now and so it grew into an actual fic idea.
...also writing Jesper's dialogue to echo an incident that happened to my mom is something that can be so personal and funny, actually:
“Let me put it this way. If the lights aren’t handled by tomorrow, I’ll go shoot them out myself.”
"You can't do that!" the mercher said, nervously eyeing the ever-present guns resting at Jesper's hips.
"Of course I can!” Jesper smiled at him cheerfully. “I'm a great shot."
Kaz suppressed a laugh as the man’s face lit up with alarm; it wouldn’t do to have Dirtyhands’ reputation sullied because he couldn’t hold his infamous straight face in front of respectable people.
Ask me about one of my WIPs!
#my writing#thanks for the ask#six of crows#ask game#otp: you can't kiss me from down there#wesper#kaz brekker
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A strange little post
First of all, I’m sorry that there are so many tags on this and that so many ppl might see it. It’s a little bit of a bittersweet ramble and i’m not sure if a lot of ppl will understand it.
I’ve been in this fandom for some time now. Two years, I think? It’s become a strangely huge part of my life. The crows, especially, have given me so much hope and joy (who knew a little ragtag bunch of criminals that aren’t real could make so much of a difference) and while, yes, these two years have been tough ones, there’s been so many little lovely things as well. Things have changed, but the crows have always been there with me. Fandoms are like these warm, sweet substances that just feel up wherever’s missing and give you something to wait for, something that’s out on the horizon hoping to be reached. I’ve waited two years for s2 and there’s been memes, there’s been laughs, there’s been jokes (WE GOT FREDDY EATING A BANANA WITH GLOVES ON) and now even though s2 is coming out, it seems like a goodbye, almost. because this was the story, wasn’t it? the waiting, the counting down days. there wasn’t supposed to be an end. it didn’t matter what shit i had happening, because i had something to look forward to it when the storms had all ended.
(also. TMRW. it’s here. god dammnit it’s here and we’re getting wylan and jesper and kaz and inej and nina and matthias and alina and mal and whatever chaos they get into. i am so ready. but also not.)
fandoms are bold, and they’re loud, and they’re brave, but as s2 looms closer, I’ve been realizing that they aren’t ALL. leigh’s recent post confirmed this. so i’ve made the decision that, after day, i will not be on tumblr or twitter anymore. these characters have given me sm happiness but i have characters in my own book that need to live and breathe as well. soc and sab are inspirations, and i don’t think that should ever go away, but i think i’m going to let go (slight correction: if they do something dumb like kill off a crow or make kanej kiss or do anyone UNSPEAKABLY dirty in s2 i will zip right back here to rant the hell about it). i’m going to watch the show, and then i’m going to start living. don’t get me wrong tho! it’s been beautiful. but for me (all our endings are at different times aren’t they?) i think it’s time. it’s sad. it’s sad that anything in the world has to end at all, but end it does.
so i think i’m going to take a moment to look at the waves.
No mourners. <3
#soc#six of crows#sab#shadow and bone#wylan van eck#wylan hendriks#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#nina zenik#inej ghafa#matthias helvar#wesper#helnik#kanej#shadow and bone netflix#shadow and bone s2#sab s2#grishaverse#leigh bardugo
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Episode 6
Wylan, your friends are dying and you're excited about the butterflies??? Top tier autistic representation honestly
Awwwwh Wylan, holy shit that's so fucking adorable. Speaking louder just so Jesper can hear you. You fucking sweetheart. But uh, Jesper can't hear you soz
Omg this is how we get Jesper backstory?? His mother!!! 😍
Ooh, Baghra knows. Or at least has her suspicions.
Oooh yes, morozova story time
Ooh yes Baghra, talk more about Mals family.
Oh cmon Mal. You kept going till you found Alina. Is Baghra really gonna have to spell it out?
Really Baghra, you stop the story there???
Wylan, don't you think they tried simply opening the door?? If tolya couldn't get it open what makes you think you can? Blow it the fuck up dammit
Oooooh, Tolya and Tamar backstory??? Wait no, hallucination? Interesting, the others had flashbacks, not fiction
Wylan, maybe don't put your face directly up to the small hole you just made into a room filled with poisonous air?? 😅
I love Jespers mother so much. I wish we got to see more of her
Huh, okay maybe Baghra doesn't know for sure. Otherwise opening that door would've gone differently
I know Mal and Alinas convos are supposed to be emotional but honestly I'm laughing everytime coz of all the foreshadowing 😂
THE KANEJ ARMY ARE WINNING. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WINNING
This is exactly how I imagined the scene. Perfect. The question. The little tug. The hand in the face. The hesitation. But holy shit it hurts so much that it's not real. That Kaz doesn't get to experience it too. Why must you hurt me like this????
Omg yes, autistic hyperfixations for the win. You are a beautiful man Wylan.
Lol, Inej shoving it in her mouth before he can even say it might sound strange. She trusts him with her life 💚
Alright, Tolya is mama now, it's official
Omg Jesper, don't sound so surprised. You've literally told the man how intelligent he has how many times and you're surprised??
Oh Kaz, and Inej. Didn't see anything? Nice to see we're still denying all our feelings 😂
Wow, Mals better at denying shit than Kanej. You literally just closed the door that only a Morozova can affect. And you respond with 'you're lying'???
Wow that's rude, messing with a man's guns.
Oh I need Wylan to save them here, it's gonna be gorgeous
Absolutely love Jespers priorities, fixing his guns
Once again, Baghra is fucking amazing. She knew what needed to be done and she fucking did it
Okay that was not how I was expecting that to go. Damn, they really have a habit for meeting living saints 😅
Awwh, I am living for every single look between Wylan and Jesper 😍
Oooh, is this why they made Alina part Shu??? Did they think this far ahead, had all this planned out already????
Jesper?? Okay, why him? Coz he's a durast?
Shes using her first husband as a table????
Awwh, it is coz he's a durast, a terrible one apparently 😂
This is such a good Jesper episode. We get to see his mother, and he gets to be more comfortable being a durast
Omg, Tolya and Jespers look 😂
Omg, 'someone someday is gonna come sweep you off your feet' yes Nina, his name is Nikolai, and he will so brilliantly sweep Zoya off her feet 😍
Wow they got their priorities straight. You have to kill me Alina. Okay let's have sex.
Like yeah I get it, but it's still funny
Ah yes, nothing like pouring your dead mother bone dust onto the stump of your hand that she cut off with her dying breath.
Well fuck. Baghra did not see that one coming
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s&b s1 ep 4 live reaction!! i didnt have time to watch an episode yesterday unfortunately 😞
hm i thought she was writing him letters?? maybe she wrote them but didnt send them
so shes writing him letters and not sending them and hes writing her letters but not sending them?? i think?? im confused
love how she doesnt rlly treat him like a general and js treats him like hes some annoying guy 🔥🔥
inej looks so done with everything im cryinf 😭😭😭
his smirk!! book accurate kaz is here please let his sarcastic side show 🙏🙏
jesper is so dramatic and for WHAT
ugh not to be mean but everytime non crows come on screen i get so bored
i need them to show zoya she interests me
how the hell is hitting alina supposed to make her powers work 💀💀
WHAT IS KAZ WEARING LMAOO
I CANT STOP LAUGHING
inej is so cool the coolest this is why shes my favorite
eating up my 2.2 seconds of kanej banter 🙏🙏 inej definitely knew it was him lmao
nina mention whoo!!! they better actually show her
i need this conductor person GONE he keeps acting like hes part of the crew but hes not and we all know it
NINA IS SUCH A QUEEN I LOVE HER 🔥🔥🔥
"that you kill us. every chance you get" DAWG HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF
lmfaoo now kaz is the one who looks so done 💀💀 the side eye is crazy
NOT THEM SAYING "SHUT UP JESPER" IN SYNC #relationshipgoals 😍😍 (i think i watched this scene like 10 times)
"friends" Shut up
THE FUCKING EYE CONTACT I CANNOT BREATHEEEEE
THE WAY THEY NEVER TOOK THEIR EYES OFF EACH OTHER NOT EVEN ONCE!!!!!
I LOVE THEM 😭😭😭 SM 😭😭 another scene which i watched 10 times
but also "friend"?? inej babe stop lying to yourself
HELP NOT KAZ GLARING AT EVERYONE WHOS ADMIRING HER 💀💀
"i'll make my own way" haha you just have no talents
YEAH ALINA PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF HER SHE DESERVES IT!!!
ah so that explains the matching scars. interesting
oh my god this scene makes me so uncomfortable... LIKE GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!! GET A JOB 🗣️🗣️
and the way he literally dragged her forward?? weirdoo
mals little bro pal dudes are so boring and annoying who even allowed them to get screen time 😐😐
YESSS alina finally stopped pining over mal i mean im not opposed to the ship or anything but like. really all she did was talk abt him
i feel a teensy bit bad for mal tho 😭😭 like shes ready to get over him but hes not over her
wait but mal punching the quartermaster was so real... i feel a little more bad for him now IM STILL HAPPY FOR ALINA THO!!!
Oh damn when i said mals friends were annoying i didnt mean i wanted them to die ... 💀
EXCUSE ME WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS OVER?? WHAT ABOUT THE CROWS WHY DIDNT THEY SHOW UP AGAIN 💔💔
i think im getting a little more invested in alina's storyline now!! which is good
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Six of Crows Reread 🪶
Chapter 22: Kaz
Immediately started off in a sad Kaz flashback
The Razorgulls stole his boots! That’s so mean! I wanna fight them (ง'̀-'́)ง
“The city is winning so far. But you’ll see who wins in the end.”
The next morning, Jordie woke with a fever.
Heartbreaking
They had no money for medicine or a medik, so they huddled together in a pile of broken-up wooden boxes that they dubbed the Nest.
I’m crying but I guess Kaz has always had an affinity for birds
Jordie died while Kaz was asleep…
Kaz thought of the little wind-up dog, of drinking hot chocolate on the bridge…
…Kaz expected to wake in the next world, warm and safe, his belly full, Jordie beside him. Instead, he woke surrounded by corpses.
Oh it’s so awful-
Do you think it was the firepox that gave Kaz his rough voice?
Vengeance was waiting, vengeance for Jordie and maybe for himself, too.
Brick by brick, right?
He’d heard there were sharks in these waters, but he knew they wouldn’t touch him. He was a monster now, too.
Oh this is the quote that probably made me relate sharks with Kaz
He had to live. Someone had to pay.
Pekka Rollins needs to pay…
But yeah this is what I mean by his hope being tainted by revenge
Back in the prison wagon Kaz is suddenly nine years old again and drowning
Gosh I can’t believe he was only nine
He was ice cold and in darkness. There were bodies all around him, pressing against his back, his sides. He was drowning in corpses.
Inej’s voice brought him back though. Pulls him from the “waters”
Well her voice and the fact that she repeatedly jabs him in the thigh
Inej would never betray him. He knew it. Kaz felt ill. Though he’d trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with this shame.
He hasn’t been vulnerable since he was nine
Kaz felt himself drawn towards her voice like water rolling downhill.
Some very good Kanej this chapter
Honestly I love that Kaz and Inej think of each other to help them overcome their challenges
Laziness wasn’t as reliable as greed, but it still made a fine lever.
Kaz and his leverage
Kaz watching Inej get led away with the other female prisoners and not realizing that he’s feeling panic at seeing her go at first
That’s good stuff right there
I bet Nina noticed his heart speeding up
It’s interesting hearing Kaz describe the tanks as large wagons before he knows what they are
Just you wait bud..
Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. “The trick is not getting knocked down,” he’d told her with a laugh. “No, Kaz,” she’d said, “the trick is in getting back up.”
Yes you read that right
Kaz Brekker laughed and maybe it wasn’t exactly mocking
But really this is a good lesson she’s teaching
You have to learn to get back up again
That’s the trick to falling
Learn how to come back from it
Just the memory of Inej’s voice gives him strength
Kanej 💕
I wonder how much lighter Kaz’s hands are compared to the rest of him…
Probably not that much since the man constantly wears suits but still
Maybe his wrists are just slightly more tan?
It’s not important just a random thought..
Kaz knew the word for cripple in plenty of languages.
This scene is burned into my brain
I dunno I just like watching Kaz fight people
Even when reeling with thoughts of his past and barely functioning because of his touch aversion Kaz can and will rip your arm out of socket
No one is stealing his boots today so to speak
Helvar came up beside him. “Was that really necessary?”
“No.” But it had been – to make sure they were left alone to do what needed to be done, and to remember that he wasn’t helpless.
Kaz Brekker always has a reason
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#six of crows#shadow and bone#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#kanej#jesper fahey#nina zenik#wylan van eck#matthias helvar#grishaverse#reading#books#leigh bargudo#soc#kazscrows#kazscrowsreadssoc
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