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#literally one of the first things I did when I got back to the USA

tayytayy12 · 21 days

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National Anthem | Reader x LS2

Summary | American boy falls head over heels for his English girl

Warnings | None, just fluff

FaceClaim | Beabadobee

Type | SMAU

Yourusername

Liked by | LoganSargeant, Lilymhe, LilyZneimer, Laufey, and 100,280 others

Tagged | @/LoganSargeant, @/Laufey

Yourusername - Some of us (Logan), go to places like Monaco on private planes, and others (Me and Laufey) hop onto a double decker bus and go where the driver takes us, miss you American boy rah 🤍🤍🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅

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User1 - I want to be in Y/n’s and Laufey’s duo

User2 - Its a need

Yourusername - *trio* @/Junialin has a cold 🥲

User3 - Thanks Y/n for feeding us with Logan pictures

User4 - She and Logan are literally everything to me 😭

Laufey - She bought Twinkie’s cause she’s never ever seen them before, then remembered her boyfriends American and got sad because she couldn’t be the first to discover American things anymore

Yourusername - Don’t be a hater ❌❌❌

User5 - She’s so British

LoganSargeant - Miss you too, Boris 🤍🤍

Yourusername - DID YOU JUST CALL ME BORIS JOHNSON?

Lilymhe - COME TO THE PADDOCK NOW 👹👹👹

Yourusername - Tell that to my uni teacher bby 🥲

User6 - I need more of her paddock fits, her silverstone 23 ate so hard

User7 - She’s been to one race in over a whole season, she needs to show up for him more smh

LoganSargeant

Liked by - Yourusername, JuniaLin and 132,862 others

Tagged | @/yourusername

LoganSargeant - A few photos that have been sent to me by my English girl in the past couple days, I’m having serious withdrawals right now.

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Yourusername - Me too baby 🥲

LoganSargeant - ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS

Yourusername - IK 😩

User8 - WHO HAS WHO SAVED AS ‘my lover ♡’ ?!????!???!!???

Yourusername - Lo to me, he’s my American boy 🤞😙

User9 - SHE GOT A CAT TATOO LMAO

User10 - This man is saying he’s having withdrawals from not seeing his girl and mine can’t even text me back

User11 - So real

User12 - We all need a Logan Sargeant

Laufey - She cried to a picture of you on her bed side table last night 💕💕

Yourusername - I hate you

User13 - She’s so unsupportive of him, Oml

User14 - Girl what

User15 - I see their point, he’s always with her on his brakes but she can nerve show up to a GP for him

User16 - She’s defo a gold digger

User17 - She’s a full time journalism student at CAMBRIDGE, she has more important things to do

User18 - And she’s been with him since she was sixteen and he was seventeen and they met when her brother was racing with him, she is anything but a gold digger

User19 - ANDDD, she’s said so many times that she’d rather be at Logan’s races supporting him then being anywhere else, their probably the most unproblematic loving couple in the whole sport world

LoganSargeant added to their story!

Replies -

User20 - HES GOING TO SEE Y/N AHHH

Yourusername - Oh my fucking god what

LoganSargeant - Surprise pretty girl 🤍

Yourusername

Liked by - LoganSargeant, GracieAbrams and 762,910 others

Tagged | @/LoganSargeant

Yourusername - I’m liking this American boy 💕 the best surprise ever I love you my Eagle Grah wtf is a kilometre USA pretty boy, it was the worst months of my life without you, the US to my UK, forever the ant to my dec

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User21 - STOP I LOVE THEM

User22 - The forehead kiss 🥲

User23 - “MY PRONOUNS ARE USA🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🏈🇺🇸” meets “WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS🇬🇧🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿⛪️⛪️🏰🏰”

Comments liked by author and LoganSargeant

LoganSargeant - My favourite girl forever 🤍

Yourusername - I loooooveeee youuuuu 🤍🤍

User24 - My favourite couple ever

User25 - I need this kind of love

User26 - We all do

LoganSargeant - My Royal Monarch 🤍

Yourusername - My national anthem 🤍

——

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tarasmithshifts · 9 days

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𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐃𝐑 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. Almost 20 years! But time for me as a vampire is diffrent (i will explain that later lmao) 𝐀𝐆𝐄: as a vampire literally from 0-20 lmao 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒: still single butttt we are close to something lmao

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

hello? how are we feeling? I AM SO BACK? i'm super happy tell what happened, but everything will go super fast until cullens and I will move to forks

sooo let's get starteeeeeeeed

「 ✦ before forks ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼

1989 - i become a vampire

89-97 i learn how to live as one of the cullens

97-03 me and cullens live in mountains

2003 - we move to forks

1 9 8 9 - 2 0 0 3

so there is not much to write about, it was basically me learning and living in the mountains with the cullens. That’s when i decided to stay with the cullens as part of a family 🫶 we got to know each other etc. 😋

F O R K S

in 2003 we (finally) moved to forks! AND BEFORE WE MOVE ON:

I TOTALLY RECOMMEND SHIFTING TO TWILIGHT. THE VIBE IS E V E R Y T H I N G AND I WILL NOT DESCRIBE EVERYTHING HERE BC I JUST WANT YOU TO SHIFT THERE AND SEE YOURSELF LMAOOO

the cullens are sooooooooooo sweet and nice i'm literally DYING to see them again when i shift back there!

alice is the sweetest & nicest person on earth. i love her <3

when we moved in, of course me and edward, alice, jasper ,emmet and rosalie needs to go to school, and that's when it all starts!

— ୨୧₊˚ school

it's actually pretty good there - i kept myself with the cullens, we spent whooooole days with each other and it's honestly pretty funny watching everybody from this perspective. (bella moved to forks in 2005, and i will probably skip a lot of things that are not important lmaooo). in school i "met" some of bella's future friends, and i meaaaaaaaaaan they were not giving any good vibe y'know? I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM OKAYYY

alice and edward are literally the best people on earth. THEY HELPED ME SOOO MUCH. gosh. and carlisle and esme???? the cutest oh my goooood.

actually school is pretty fun. i love going to schools in my drs (like hogwarts etc.) it's pretty fun experience!

— ୨୧₊˚ before 2005

pretty much nothing happened before 2005

HAHAHAHAHAHA SIKEEEE

ladies and gentleman, please welcome raphael pelli. bro is MAJESTIC.

basically his father is from Italy and his mother is from US, they decided to stay in USA, they lived in New York, but decided to move to forks where his mom was growing up. AND THAT'S HOW WE MET Y'ALLLLLLLLL.

and when i tell you he just freaking appeared there. literally from nowhere (i did not script how we will met, just a little bit from his backstory, just wanted to play with it and see what will happen!!!)

so one day in 2004, around may i just walked to school, as usual with edward (we were literally spending much more time with each other by then, yk, because alice was with jasper, emmet was with rosalie, we didn't want to interrupt lmao) and we saw some boys gathering around someone, when we walked pass them, i saw freaking raphael pelli. like for a milisecond. BUT WHEN I TELLL YOUUUUUU

timothee was the greatest choice for face claim i ever made LMAO

that was the first time i saw him, later i did not see him much, sometimes our eyes crossed during lunch, but that's all. BUT

yup, there is a BUT

BUT

during one of history classes he rushed in late, apologised and after few seconds of thinking he sat next to me. DUDE

and also i forgot to tell you about on thing. ABOUT SMELL. you know, it's known that vampires smell blood and shit, but i decided to do something a little bit diffrent - scripted that i do not smell just "blood" in general. for example = bella smelled like vanilla mixed with a little bit of honey. you know what i mean? i think it's better than just "a smell of blood". so,

i scripted that raphael smelled like fresh flowers on a glade. and i just sat there, in history class, thinking about that goddamn flowers. AND AFTER THE LESSON ENDED HE TURNED TO ME.

i was like "oh shit" and he went "i'm raphael" and i was still like "oh shit" so i just said "tara." BUT WHEN I TELL YOU that when i shifted i started using vivienne instead of tara. idk why, but it is soooo pretty. so i just added "but i prefer vivienne" AND GOSH

he just asked some questions like "you are living with the cullens?" (yes) "so you are also cullen?" (yes indeed) "people are talking" (people are always talking) "would you like to do the history presentation with me?" (the history teacher always gave us presentations to do in pairs, but i have always done them alone) (i always do them alone) "oh sorry" and i was like shiiiiiiiiiiiiit i fucked up, so i tried in other way (people will think you are a freak) "'why?" (no one talks to the freaky cullens. we are weird) "oh." and we just stared at each other in silence it was sooooo awkward for a second, but THEN HE SAID "i don't think you are a freak"

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH SHFKWEHFIUHWRUFIRIUGHUG

BRO. DO NOT TALK TO ME RN. IT'S THE FIRST THING I WROTE HERE WHEN I WOKE UP FROM THIS SHIFT. IM THINKING ABOUT THIS 24/7 how should i move on.

so we talked on our way out to the parking lot (as it was the last class of that day) you know, just some silly stuff, i asked him where is he from, why his famly moved here, how he finds himself here, he asked about my life before the cullens and I moved to forks, so obv i lied that we lived in canada, but we decided to move here as carlisle received a job offer. when we were outside and i saw edward waiting for me i just said bye and left it was soooooo awkward he just said "see ya" and went to his car IM SOOO MAD AT MYSELF THAT I DID NOT TALK TO HIM MORE THEN GOSH I WASTED THE POTENCIAL

so when i got back to car and edward was just standing there and was like "what was that" and i went "what?" and he went "y'know what" and i was like "oh that. he started talking to me in class, so i didn't want to be mean and continued" and he went "sure" BRO. EDWARD. STOP IT.

i can confirm that edward was first shipper here LMAOOOO

spoiler: i did the presentation with raphael. and we actually became friends? i mean we talked a lot during our classes, sometimes after, it was greattttttt AND HE SAID HE LIKES ME? and i was like bro HOOOOOLD UP. hold onnnnnnn. he sometimes even WAITED FOR ME after some classes to go with me to the parking lot etc. GOSH

in the next school year i decided to talk to him moreeee i mean i waited for that moment for so long LIKE LET US BE TOGETHER ALREADY GOD LMAO

once i sat with him and him only during lunch break, of course after that i think rosalie told carlisle about this and carlisle maybe he wasn't mad, no, he was just overprotective and was telling me "you know it will not work like that" "be careful you are still very young" and iiiiiiiiiiiii knooooooooooooow.

but i didn't stop talking to raphael hell no LMAO

— ୨୧₊˚ 2005

in january bella moves to forks, and one day when i'm waiting for edward on a parking lot after lessons and he comes back, i caan see something in him yk??? like something changed??? so i asked him "what happened?" he didn't respond and just opened the car door. "you know i can go inside your mind without you knowing right?" i laughed, AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY OR SOMETHING LMAO

so he just told me about bella, and that she is diffrent than others.

after that in the evening i decided to shift back <3

it was super fun i will probably do some other posts about the cullens, AN ABOUT SOME MORE SITUATIONS ABOUT RAPHAEL!!!!!!! AND ABOUT THE MURDER BEFORE BELLA MOVED TO FORKS!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to give you this as fast as possible so so that's why there is not much in here! but bare with me lmao!!!!

#reality shifting

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adambja · 8 months

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You asked for my void success story? And my void journey? well I am sharing it bestie!!

But again I won't share any personal stuff some people here are obsessive pls lmao

I typed it when I was on the discord server because someone who is in my experiment asked me so I answered and I asked myself like why not sharing it here after all that time and all these things I am doing (coaching - the experiment - more....) and I am so excited to share the results of my experiment after exactly 6 days and actually 2 people joined the experiment but they were late!

So.....

• let's begin with my void journey!

Okay basically I am sure no one actually knows this except for like 3 people on Tumblr and like 20 people in my experiment (cuz they asked me) my life before entering was actually great I already had everything I wanted my mom and dad are literally my role models and my self-concept was perfect and I am not saying it as an affirmation it's just me and I was always finding something from time to time related to the void state and I worked more on my self-concept using my tape I made it in early - mid 2022 (actually the same tape I sell now) then I started collecting information about the void from literally everywhere back in late 2022 then I started applying in early 2023 I entered in January but didn't really plan to manifest anything because I had the same manifesting abilities in my daily life then I thought about it more than once so I made a list full of everything I can think of at that time and I entered in early 2023 again

• How I entered?

It was just normal i was in the USA specifically NY at that time I was listening to my self-concept tape it was almost 10pm and I felt like I will actually enter today and manifest everything I wasn't even planning to do it but I knew I will experience it's just a feeling I felt at that time and I was feeling a lot of love at that time too so I meditated I didn't affirm I didn't do anything it was fully my subconscious mind but it wasn't that deep to me it was normal EVEN THO IT WAS NORMAL all these days when I entered affirmed the affirmation that's connected to my void list then got out and found everything that was on my void list in my apartment IT WAS SO SURPRISING TO ME but I didn't get overwhelmed nor confused! It was a great surprise!

Also the time it was like 2am when I got out of my void state as I remember and I was sitting at the same place for almost 15 mins just realizing what happened with me and why my head feels like this it was a weird feeling I still can't find a name to it or a word that explains it! i thought about the word "dizzy" BUT it's not just dizzy and it's not really dizzy - it's just a different feeling!

• What was my void state like?

I will say everything that's on my mind

The first time I entered it was pitch black

Then I typed on my void list that it's full of stars it's like outer space because I chose it to be like that (you can choose how your void state looks like too)

It looked exactly like this and everytime I wake up there since that day because I didn't change it! 🫶🏻

Entering was so intense not emotionally but physically even tho I didn't feel my body 😭 it was as if my soul is getting out of my body it was so unexplainable and special to me my body was tired after it and I was feeling too much in my head after getting out and back to my physical body I don't have words for what I experienced the first time and the second time 😭 but now I have no symptoms because it was so annoying so I manifested it away when I woke up in my void state the second day (this was on my void list tho like waking up in my void state everyday and being in my void state everytime I take a nap) - that feeling in my head was so bad like as if I was so high and can't even focus for 15 mins non-stop! That's why I manifested not experiencing any symptoms at all.

• What did you manifest?

I manifested a lot of things I wanted but tbh having these things wasn't that far from me like I already could do it without entering my void state at all and I won't be specific about what I manifested cause they are a bit personal but they were friendships/relationships + businesses + apartments/homes + money/more investments..... and way more

Also I already had many investments before I entered my void state hope this clears everything too

cause many people were asking me about how do I have tips for entering without sharing my story the tips are here tho they are very helpful - it was because I don't like these people who come to your DMs and ask you to help them once and twice and 3 times with their trauma dump message or ask pls like no it was just too much for me when I posted once that I entered then deleted it but here we are again if it happens just don't blame me I will just block people.....

• About the experiment's results

I am not sure if I should post it day by day?

So I am gonna make a poll and see what y'all think!

Also.....

• POWERFUL AFFIRMATION TAPES

(self-concept - void state - shifting - subconscious mind....more) (personalized and unpersonalized) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me

• FOR COACHING

(self-concept - void state - shifting....more) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me

And now that's it! 💋💋

Have a good day/night cuties🫶🏻!

@voidsuccessarchive

@voidarchivefiles

@voidsuccess

@voidbaby111

That's the post! 💋

You can send me a message too if you wanna suggest any idea for a post or something specific I will give you credits if you want credits + If you have any questions related to my void journey or self-concept even coaching you can ask me babes 💋🫶🏻

I would really be thankful because gurl I am so busy with (my life, coaching, the experiment and more...) rn I can't even keep up with posting here so I scheduled this post lmao thanks to Tumblr for adding this feature for real!

#law of assumption #loassumption #loa #neville goddard #void success #loa success #self concept #success stories loa #self development #self esteem

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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 2 months

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Shame on a plate

Happy St. Patrick's Day, slowpokes!

When -- several minutes after Stuck in a damn bed. , after Shane blew up, and you found out that not only Dale, but Maggie saw, too.

What -- Sophia's still missing, Daryl and Carl have one more day in the house on bed rest, and you're dealing with the aftermath of your big brother Shane's actions in the previous chapter and the fact that others saw. The biggest thing you feel is shame.

Relationships -- Found family you and the gang! Lol, always a slow burn Daryl x Reader, there's also some platonic Glenn, brotherly Rick, and Maggie gets protective her new friend (you), and Papa Dale is there

Perspective -- 2nd You, 3rd Daryl

Pronouns -- none

TWs -- other than the hideous screenshot above, there's some language and discussion of abusive patterns and behaviors

How long is it? -- around 4,000 words

Masterlist -- Official one here and Chronological one here

In this chapter, Reader is struggling with shame, guilt and confusion over how Shane treated them at the end of the previous chapter.

Remember, being hurt by a loved one is not okay. If they are hurting you, they are doing something bad to you. Abuse is not earned or deserved. You are worthy of being safe and unhurt.

For help getting safe, you can call the Domestic Violence Hotline (USA) at 800-799-7233, chat online, or text START to 88788.

-------------------------

“No, nothin’ like it before, ever.”

Her fingers tap tap tapped against the book in her hands. “I don’t like it. Daddy’s been uncomfortable around him, then I see this happen.”

You twisted your mouth. “It was an argument between siblings.”

“If it was an argument, then why didn’t I see you arguin’ back?”

Stupid, stupid idiot. It kept playing in your head, that refrain. It had a different spin than it did at first. See, at first, your brain repeated it because you’d given yourself fault for what happened, how Shane just…you don’t know what happened. But he behaved very badly.

But then, the refrain kept repeating over and over because you didn’t walk away or fight back when Shane started hurti acting like he did.

You did nothing.

It was the one thing you were not supposed to do. The thing Shane and your Mama always warned you never to do when things got scary. The thing Shane had literally just gotten done practicing with you so that you’d know even more than you already know about how and when to fight back.

All that effort and still, you froze.

Stupid, stupid idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot.

You had to clear your throat. “Beth didn’t see, too, right? Just you?” you hushed. The girl was already timid and uneasy about your group, If she saw what happened, it was the nail in the coffin if you couldn’t fix this.

“No, I was the only one by the window.”

“So he wasn’t too loud, then.” Which meant only Margaret and Dale knew. Your shoulders felt lighter.

“Y/N,” Maggie said to you. “You seem more concerned with others not seein’ what went on.”

“Well, yeah, I’m worried they’d overreact.”

She tilted her chin up and placed her hands on her hips. “Oh, is that what I’m doing? Was my comin’ to check on you an overreaction?”

“No, no, not at all!” you quickly apologized. “Not at all! I’m, I’m happy you care enough.”

“You’re a good person and you’re my friend, which is why I don’t want to tiptoe around this. What your brother just did was bad. You know that was abusive, right?”

Maybe scoffing at her heartfelt, caring statement wasn’t your best idea, but 'abusive' was such a strong word…right? “He’s my brother, and it was a one-off, I done told you.”

“I’m not sure I believe it when you say that,” she next had the audacity to claim. “You haven’t even been makin’ eye contact with me.”

Oh, you want eye contact? I’ll give you eye contact, bitch.

Your inner tea kettle was shrieking to be taken off the burner, and you could not have cared less. “You callin’ me a liar? Calling my brother an abuser? Rich words from someone I’ve barely known two weeks!”

Before any more was said, Dale inserted himself into the conversation, the thing he said he wouldn’t do. “If you want to keep your conversation private, I suggest not raising your voices.”

Maggie’s arms were crossed. She stared hard at you, but spoke calmly. “Sometimes when things are unhealthy, those looking in from the outside can see it better. And I know what I saw.”

“A sibling fight,” you whispered as gently as you could, feeling so heated. “You, you, y-you saw a sibling fight, those can get nasty.” She’s wrong, she’s wrong, she’s not, she’s not.

“You know what? I don’t have time for your pushback if you don’t have time to consider what somebody who’s concerned about you says, Y/N.”

More shame was added to your plate.

Her leaving shouldn’t have felt so awful, but it did. You covered your eyes and exhaled, as if that would help get rid of the worst of it. You then told God how much you hated this, immediately followed by the opposite, as you cursed yourself a little more, why not? You stupid, stupid idiot.

Not only did you disappoint (and insult) your new friend, but you worried it was another strike against your group. Lori and Carl need this place, it’s safe, it’s good, it’s — you stupid, stupid idiot!

But just like that, Maggie then called your name again as Dale was stepping toward you. You turned to see her facing you once more, no longer walking away.

“If this was a dating situation, what would you think about how he behaved, what he did?” she challenged.

As unfair as you thought the comparison was, the answer hit you in the face. Pun not intended, shit, um… at any rate, having Dale close by helped to ease you into the checkmate that Margaret just finished you with.

You hated your answer.

Because if you saw Shane behaving toward a romantic partner the same way he just behaved with you, you know exactly what you’d think and how you’d react. It wouldn’t be a gray situation, it would be black and white.

More shame for the plate. More guilt. More unease, more dread.

Eyes to the grass, you swallowed your pride. “I’d see it the way you see it.”

Maggie shifted her weight from the right to left, then back again, uncertain. “Will you tell Rick?”

You hesitated, too. After all, you’re an adult. You could be married with children at your age, you couldn’t just—“Tattle that Shane…got huffy, lost his cool?”

“Don’t oversimplify, kiddo, you’re smarter than that,” Dale muttered. He and Shane don’t get on (zero idea why, since Dale and you get on so well!) so this is just more bad press against your brother and more shame for your plate.

“But it’s, it’s not that dramatic, none of this has to be dramatic,” you insisted.

Dale answered again. “Then talking to Rick about it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Rick’s family,” Maggie agreed. “So, he’s seems like the best person to help.”

A child in a grown-up’s body is what you felt like. Helpless, naïve, clueless. You stupid, stupid idiot.

They were right, though, Rick could fix this, he could talk to Shane, figure out what that was. And even better — agreeing with Maggie and Dale would get them off your back! For real, what were they doing, an intervention? Because Shaney poked you a little, gave you a little push?

The words felt sinful, but you said them anyway.“I-I’ll, um, I’ll talk to him. I’ll talk to Rick.” And, of course, you were then obligated because you despise dishonesty.

Maggie nodded, then put her thumbs in her pockets. Dale nodded and looked at the two of you, then all around. It was very uncomfortable.

It would be nice if instead of real life, this was a TV show or book, you remember thinking. The audience isn’t usually shown the awkward parts in TV or books, would be a waste of time.

“Y/N,” Maggie spoke, breaking the silence. “We have a raspberry thicket by the south-facing property line.” She pointed in the direction. “Completely overgrown. I’m gonna go back in, finish what I was doin’, but let’s go pick some together later, okay? I’ll come find you in a little while?” She smiled hopefully at you, with some pity thrown in.

Returning the smile, you hoped it made you look put-together and self-aware and confident instead of the shameful, idiotic mess you felt like. “That sounds delicious.”

The moment ended, and she went back toward the house. You heard the door open and clack shut again. A desk onto which you could slam you head would be nice, you remembered thinking.

Instead of a desk, though, Dale put a gentle hand on your shoulder.

He sighed. “Alright, troublemaker. Walk with me? We don’t have to talk, let’s enjoy the sunset awhile.”

Not two steps later, and he apologized for his timing in using the nickname that one month ago he’d christened you with. “And Y/N? What Shane did isn’t your fault.”

-------------------------

Him

-------------------------

Today marks one week of being stuck in this bed. Day 7.

He’d failed, that’s it. A weak-ass pussy dipshit who’d failed, and was still stuck in a damned bed after a full week.

Tomorrow, Patricia said he’d be cleared to move out. Not that it mattered much, he still couldn’t do enough to be useful. Not that he wouldn’t; he couldn’t. He’d still be on bed rest.

But hey, at least he’d be able to walk to the woods to find a place to squat and shit by himself now, right? Not even too sarcastic, it would be a step up from feeling like a total invalid.

Carol and Lori were doing a special dinner and cleaning up for the family here to try and thank them for everything. Daryl would just…lay in his bed, he figured. Except, all three of those clucking hens that he wished would stop preening him, Patricia, Carol, and Y/N, kept offering to help him eat with everyone else like they was all some big, happy, family.

This time, it wasn’t that he couldn’t; he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to face them all, not yet, it was too much. He could only take a certain level of shame, and his plate was already full.

The saving grace this past week that stopped him from drowning in his shame was his not seeing the whole kit and kaboodle of them in one sitting. Rick had told him a little over a week ago how it was no problem if Daryl left. Just Daryl, he’s pretty sure nobody else got that little talk.

He’d chosen to stay because of Sophia and Y/N. Sophia needed finding. Still does.

-------------------------

You

-------------------------

Carl is the kind of kid who’s double-digits, yet understands when his mother needs her baby again. Lori had snuggled with him on the bed, and both were sound asleep. Not even you knocking on the door or the door being opened/shut woke them.

Which must be why last night, Rick took the opportunity to bring up what Shane did, right there in the room.

It was a blessing that you didn’t end up having to do the hardest part, bringing it up, you suppose. Shane himself had done it for you. All you had to do was fill in the blanks.

“Said he lost control, acted a certain way,” Rick murmured. “What’d that look like?”

You didn’t want to describe it, it’d sound bad… “Shane didn’t say?”

“I’m interested in what you say.”

“Ah, you want to maintain ‘eyewitness sequeskra — eesh, that’s hard to pronounce. Se-quest-ra-tion?”

Rick did that raised brow squint thing he makes when he’s teasing, as if maybe he was about to call you ‘weirdo.’ But then, his expression faded back to serious and he spoke your name. “We both know he hasn’t been himself. What did that look like today?”

Casually, you told him about the way Shane had gotten intimidating. “You know how he’d talk when he needed to do ‘bad cop,’ it was, it was kinda like that.”

“Anything physical?”

Casually, you mentioned the jabs. “He was pokin’, like, with his pointer finger — and he’s strong, so.”

“Right there?” Rick asked, pointing to his sternum in mimic of how you’d gestured.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a bruise?”

Your neck tightened.

Maggie had spotted it when you were berry picking. One had fallen down your shirt, so you’d pulled the fabric forward and down to retrieve it, and she (and you) saw the bruise forming. You stupid, stupid idiot.

It was fine, it wasn’t a big deal. Bruises happen.

Casually, you joked to Rick, “I get bruises from random shit all the time.”

He didn’t smile.

It actually lessened the shame, rather than adding more. You were grateful.

Continuing, he questioned, “He told me about that collarbone grab, and how he went like this?” And when he motioned with his hand, slowly pretending to clap it against the side of your head, you felt your cheeks heat.

“Once.” The insult he’d smacked you with at the same time hurt more, to be honest. Which…made it all click that what Shane did wasn’t as small a deal as you’d been thinking. Mouth shut, you licked your teeth and stared into space. “Did it to himself first, way more than once.”

Rick watched his wife and son sleeping on the bed and asked nothing more for a few minutes.

You picked at the string that stuck out of your arm wrap, feeling stupid, stupid, stupid, shameful, stupid. Per usual, then you missed your mom—and out of nowhere got swept by that flash flood of resentment toward Rick again.

Shane and you had left your mother alone to scope out the latest at the hospital, to figure out how to get Rick safely out without him decompensating. While you two were gone, what happened happened. Sometimes, you assign blame to Rick for it, as if comatose Rick was the reason your ma got killed. Sometimes, you assign her dying to Shane’s change in character, as if that made it better, gave it an excuse.

Grief gets sticky like that.

“Is that all, or is there any more?”

“He went like this,” you mumbled, and grabbed the neck of your shirt like Shane had. “That’s it, all the dirt. Happy?”

“Y/N.”

“…Sorry.”

“I know this wasn’t easy. Thank you,” he told you, putting his arm on your shoulder. You didn’t want it there, so you moved away. Rick was patient, not reacting a bit.

That was last night. This morning felt pretty normal when you woke up. Carol had shared your tent again. Shane was off in his, so you didn’t see him.

Coffee in hand, you were in in the middle of coaxing one of the pullets to waddle toward you by holding out dandelion leaves when Glenn came to see you. You’d figured he wanted to feed the baby chickens, too, or, even better, that there was good news about Maggie. (She likes him!, she told you herself the other day. She just isn’t telling, you know, Glenn himself just yet.)

“Y/N? How are you?”

“I’m warmed up good with my coffee, how about you? Sleep well?” You kept your smile in when you asked, “Talk to Maggie today?”

“Yeah, yeah, I slept fine, yeah, but, um—you’re like, okay, though?”

A flutter of dread. “Glenn, what’s up?”

“What did Shane do to you yesterday? I heard him—”

“—What did you hear, and from whom?” reverberated from the back of your throat as if it were a growl.

“Dude, chill. I’m trying to see if you’re okay.”

The way you tried to keep your voice calm ended up sounding snotty and insincere. Most likely because you were feeling very insincere. How many people saw or heard about what happened? Naked, you felt so naked and exposed! “Where. Did. You. Hear about it?”

“I heard your brother talking to Rick.”

The twist in your gut eased. “Okay, um, um — what did he, w-what, um, what did he, what did he say?” And how did you hear, do they know you heard?”

“I had the headphones in, but the battery died on your mp3 while I was going to the bathroom—”

“—Daryl has the mp3,” you thought aloud.

“He let T-Dog borrow it, who let me borrow it. I-I ate something that didn’t agree with me, so…”

Oh my ffing — “Did you sanitize it when you were done?”

“Dabbed it with hand sanitizer, yeah. Oh, also, Shane asked me to ask you if he could borrow it once it was charged again.” Glenn scratched his neck. “I told him it was on really low battery.”

You swallowed.“So he did see you?”

“He and Rick saw me with the earbuds on and I acted surprised to see them.Shane asked if he could borrow it, I told him it needed to be charged, um, hey, I can see it in your face that you’re worried, please don’t be! Shane believed me,” he assured you. “Trust me, he doesn’t know I heard him. I don’t lie, Y/N, you know that.”

“I do,” you admitted, nodding.

“Anyway, I was walking back from the woods and heard Shane and Rick talking. I figured it was about Sophia, but when I overheard something Shane said, I stopped and listened.” Glenn bent his head down and shuffled his feet. “He said that he messed up, like, snapped. Told Rick that he needed to talk to you and be on your side with whatever you told him. Y/N, he said that he,” your friend lowered to a whisper, “hurt you? Like literally ‘hurt’ you, like, did he hit you?”

You smiled to put him at ease, holding up your hands. “He poked me a little and clapped an ear, weren’t hardly no thing.” Y/N, you stupid, stupid, idiot.

It was probably good that he looked so disappointed and cautious, even if it didn’t feel good to see it in his eyes at the time. “Y/N, don’t…joke about this stuff,” he began. “Why would Shane would have gone to Rick in private if it wasn’t serious?”

“’Cause he’s a drama-king.” You made it sound almost like you were patronizing Glenn, the way you said it.

“No. No, this isn’t ‘no thing,’ you literally just confessed he did hit you — does Rick know about that, too? Shane mentioned something about a collarbone, grabbing your shirt, and shoving you, which is also not ‘no thing.’”

As he was speaking, you’d felt more and more defensive and naked and ashamed. You even had to beat down the urge you had to grab his shirt and shove him back, and prove it wasn’t a big deal!

Then, you considered how he’d take it. The look on his face, at a friend doing that to him. How you’d feel about yourself if you did that. How you’d feel if you saw somebody else do that to him or somebody else. A whole lot of rapid thoughts in the several moments where you figured out a way to respond.

The explanation you made was something you’d tried on everyone so far. “We’re siblings. Stuff like that is normal — did you never see your sisters go at it?”

“No, it’s not! And if it is, it shouldn’t be! Dude, if you saw me,” he countered, speaking louder than you’d heard him make since he cried that the bodies of those at the quarry camp weren’t going to be burned with the walkers. “Doing whatever Shane did with you to one of my younger sisters, what would you think of me? How would you react?”

Glenn’s strong emotional response wasn’t expected, so you stood there, dumb. And you knew exactly how you’d react if you saw him doing to his sisters what Shane did.

And yet, you’re still unsure if everyone else is overreacting because it sounded bad or because it actually was.

Either way, Glenn’s question raised your white flag for you. You surrendered, bowing you head in shame and covering your face with your free hand.

“Glenn, there are three other people who know. Four, if you count Shane.” With your injured arm still secured by the upper arm to your torso, you pointed at him. “Dale, Maggie, and Rick know. Which means already there are three others who know. Now, Glenn, don’t go spreadin’ this business any further, hear?”

You didn’t sound half as intimidating as the words may look, mostly you sounded defeated. Ashamed. “Talk to any one of them, talk to me, but do not breathe a word to, to anybody else or around anybody else.”

This is the part where you started to get a little weepy. “And Lori, she don’t need to know about this right now, she don’t need the stress, and not a word around my Carl, oh my gosh, not him.” This is the part where you got a little beg-gy. “Please. It, it ain’t a bad secret because those that need to know, know. Okay?”

The gavel was brought down when he said, “The way you’re scared of the others finding out makes it seem like a bad one.” He was right. Is right.

He then clasped his hands together. “Listen: I wasn’t about to tell anyone else, since Rick knows. Shane told him himself, dude, and I trust Rick. But, if it was a different case,” he went on, and shook his head as if he was telling you that all bets would be off. “Y/N, remember when Ed was around? How that felt? Dude, you literally threw yourself on him when you saw him hurt Carol.”

The comparison of your brother to Ed Peletier stung and wasn’t fair. And did Glenn forget what Shane did to Ed, to? “Glenn, that ain’t equivalent by any stretch.”

“Maybe not,” he accepted. “But just because it could be worse doesn’t make it not bad. Stuff like this starts small.”

“I know,” you whispered.

You raised the white flag higher, half with the plea that this would be over faster if you did. Lord above, you felt so small, stupid, and defenseless. “You’re right,” you ceded, your gaze reaching no higher than Glenn’s belly. “You’re right. And like you said, it’s, it’s b-bein’ handled, Rick’s got it.” Ugh, stress stutter. “And Shane did a much better job than me when he saw what Ed did, don’t leave out that part.”

“He did. That almost worries me more. Just — if anything like this happens again, or if it starts to feel the same, like — ” He raised his hands. “You’re my best friend. That means I’m on your team. Okay? Even if you end up hating me for it.” He then started to leave, give you some space. “We’re on the same search team today, too. Meet by the mailbox by 9:00, it’s in like 40 minutes.”

“Hey, wait,” you called, not wanting to look him in the eye yet but doing it anyway. And you forced the words out because they were true. “Th-thank you.”

He breathed out heavily and made an awkward (but real) smile.“I love you, dude.”

“I love you, too, man. You’re my best friend.”

The uncomfortable, clumsy encounter with Glenn left you feeling more ashamed than you already were. With Daryl, that day where you’d felt as if your very soul had been stripped bare, the vulnerability hadn’t felt shameful afterward. What you’d felt was so close, unbearably close, it was strange.

But yesterday evening and this morning, the vulnerability sucked, dude. And you’d been stuck in a cycle of shame, anger, and feeling stupid, but without those feelings going away once the truth let out.

The good thing was, the target of your anger began to change during the conversation with Glenn. You weren’t thinking stupid, stupid idiot about yourself anymore, no, it became directed at Shane. The one whose blowing up made this mess. Your view of the mess also became clearer. What happened wasn’t just one sibling bullying a little on the other and it getting out-of-hand it was…it wasn’t something to brush aside, you’ll say that. And you’re scared, you’ll say that, too.

But what you were supposed to do with all of it, that still wasn’t clear.

Still isn’t. Because sooner than later, Shane will know about the baby. Sooner rather than later, the situation with Sophia will end. Sooner rather than later, that little power struggle you’re seeing between him and Rick will come to a head.

Nope. You have no idea what to do and all you feel is shame about it.

Speaking of, Daryl’s been feeling ashamed, too, it’s kinda obvious when you look and talk to the guy. He thinks that because he’s bedbound, he’s useless. Might as well pop in before you go on the search this morning, you’ve got like 15 minutes until then.

-------------------------

Him

-------------------------

“Last day in this fine establishment, enjoy it while you can,” Y/N joked.

Yeah, so, he wasn’t in a joking mood and didn’t get why Y/N would be, either. An entire week in this ‘establishment’ was damned shameful. All because he stole (worse, Y/N had told him more than once not to do it) borrowed a horse that got spooked. A dumbass slip and fall. Twice.

If Sophia wasn’t found, it was on his hands.

“Did Carol convince you to come to dinner, yet? Or are you still feelin’ too poorly?”

“Just stop.” He wanted to be left alone, was that so fucking complicated?

And he wanted out of this fucking bed, out of this room, out of this house, off this shit farm, and away from this whole gaggle of dumb fucks.

He wanted Merle back. He wanted Uncle Jesse back.

…He just wanted Sophia back. He'd even prayed about it.

“Sorry, little man, not now. Yeah, nah, he needs some privacy and quiet,” Daryl then heard from out in the hallway.

The door was already closed. He didn’t even hear it shut.

“No, his head is still okay, Carl, his cognition is prolly better than the two of us put together. The man’s healin’ well, thanks be to God,” Y/N cheerfully chirped like a songbird. "Wanna visit the baby chicks again?"

More shame slithered on over, hissing at him for how he’d been a dick to Y/N, of all people.

Daryl tried to rub his chest to get rid of the tugging feeling in Y/N’s direction while trying to shut up the voice in his head that was screaming for a goddamn cigarette so he could smoke and dig the lit end into his skin.

-------------------------

You

-------------------------

So, that was a bust. Daryl kinda snapped at you. It sucked. Felt really awful, not gonna lie. First your brother, now the mangy hick.

Come to think of it, it's actually more on brand for Daryl to have done that, given you literally just referred to him as ‘mangy hick.’

Ugh, you wanna cry again. You wanna run back to Dale the way a little kid runs to their dad. Maybe this time you'd also run into a desk to slam your head against on the way?

Later would have to suffice for finding that desk, however, because now, there’s work to do.

“Aight, let’s roll. We’re headin’ south, looking around a small neighborhood. Tomorrow, Shane and Andrea will be hitting what we don’t cover,” T-Dog announces. “Ready to head out, y’all?”

“Head on back to your ma, okay?” you tell Carl, pecking a kiss on his head and patting your finger along the chick he's still carrying. Carl had walked you to the mailbox, it's his third and probably last ‘big trip’ of the day. He’s wearing Shane’s police baseball hat. “See you later, punk, I love you."

“Yeah, man, all set. Bye, Carl.” Glenn stands up from his crouched position by the mailbox where he was waiting.

You adjust the first aid kit in your backpack, then ease it on and snap the chest clip in place. “Ready, Teddy.”

T-Dog rubs his hands together. “Then let’s roll. See if we can’t bring Sophia back for this big dinner her mama’s got planned tonight.”

------------------------------------------

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astridthevalkyrie · 6 months

Text

chand ko chakor dekhe, tujkho naseebo wala (the bird looks at the moon, a lucky one looks at you) | hawks x reader | chapter 6

“You’ve died twice? From clocks? “I know you’re not blind to the rocks and debris flying literally everywhere! The world would be better off without you in it!” you scream at the villain. The machine is even louder as it breaks and jams into the ground. “Flying building pieces or something, I don’t know—one hit me yesterday. The first day I got knocked into a wall, and then I woke up hugging my body pillow. Same thing the next day. And the next, and the next. Did my number three pro hero partner save me? No, he let me get stuck in a fucking time loop!” Or, you’ll do a lot of things with infinite time on your hands, but falling in love with Keigo Takami isn’t one of them.

a/n: yesssss update's out have a fun time reading!

warnings: suicide attempts (with the understanding that she will reset), hawks pins reader to a building, rudeness, icky romantic stuff 🤮

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

“Whoa.” Your hands come up in front of your chest as the kid’s arm crackles—crackles?—with lightning. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hang on, I don’t fight children!”

You don’t think the nerd hears you, because he’s jumping forward with wide, fearful, despaired eyes. “Detroit”—of course he’s an All Might copycat, USA lover, star spangled stripes, would still smash their number one hero, though more like she’d smash you because she’s super strong—”SMAAASH!”

Fuck your life. Truly.

—————————————————

You go back to the beach the next today. Not to kill All Might again, even if you did cheat and break the vow you’d made to yourself the first day you officially started training to be a hero (haha your soul is broken you’re going to hell except you’re not because you’re stuck in a time loop and ohmygosh maybe this is hell maybe when you got hit by the rock that first day you died what the shiiiiit). No no, you won’t kill him again, because you’re just far more interested in who this tiny little green loser is and just how he KOed you with one punch.

That’s not, like, easy. You killed the top ten heroes minus the dumb bird! By right of passage, that makes you the number one! Or at least the number two if Hawks is de facto one even though he totally isn’t. He admitted MULTIPLE times that he would have just let you kill him. Who needs a flimsy number one hero like that?

Speaking of flimsy number one heroes.

You’re probably losing your mind more than you thought. Why are you looking at a chibi version of All Might?

Goddamn are heroes stupid! You’re perched up just barely out of view and neither the LITERAL NUMBER ONE or his protege have noticed you as they eat and yap about CLASSES of all things!

Okay, so when you killed All Might, he wasn’t exactly himself because he hasn’t had his Snickers bar yet or whatever. Which means you didn’t really kill the number one, and so the right of passage still leaves you at number two (yeah yeah, de facto Hawks number two, then you).

So if Small Might (good one! that’s original!) can’t fight you, that would mean the real foe you’d need to defeat is YOUNG MIDRORIYA! Only problem is that YOUNG MIDORIYA! is a child and y’know, you’re not quite that comfortable in your amorality yet. Already you feel queasy every time you think about the way you killed LightMight.

Still, one doesn’t just go around California Cabana-ing every single person they see, so when YOUNG MIDORIYA! starts walking back to whichever hovel he crawled out of, you follow him until you see someone trip in front of him, large drink in their hands.

What would have soaked his shirt now completely coats his face with just a liiiiitle bit of wind.

Respect your elders, kid. You’ll never be the next Mini Might with that attitude. Although, that isn’t any reason to apologize that profusely to the lady that spilled the drink. No, there’s no need to buy her a new drink either, your face got soaked, not her’s, she was the one not looking where she was going. OFFERING AN AUTOGRAPH FROM ERASERHEAD? HUH? DID SHE LOSE HER DRINK OR DID SHE LOSE HER WHOLE GODDAMN FAMILY?

Oh, she doesn’t even know who Eraserhead is. Ha. That’s right, walk home with your sorry little green head all wet. That’ll teach you not to bribe civilians.

—————————————————

The next day, you wake up, ignore Hawks’ text first thing in the morning, open your window and jump out. Then you wake up in your bed again, and repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s entertaining for all of six minutes before the nothingness and despair becomes passionless.

What’s left? What more is there?

Well, it was kinda fun taking Ryukyu up to space (no it wasn’t?). You could try that again. Opening the window, you go up this time, instead of down.

Today, you’ll try to reach the sun.

First, you’re shot by someone who must think you were a stray bird. First, rude. Second, still illegal. Rot in jail. You love being a pro hero, the police do whatever you say with overt rudeness but begrudging submission.

Second, you look into the sun too long and uh. Die. That one’s embarrassing.

Third, claws dig into your hips and yank you down.

“Hey!” You scratch at the hands assisting gravity in bringing you closer to the ground. “What the hell, what are you doing? You never get here this early!”

“What are you doing? Where are you even going?”

“I will kick you in the balls if you don’t let me go, you dumb shit!”

“You’re so nice,” Hawks drawls, and his legs wrap around yours too, one arm around your front to pin your arms to the side. Now it’s only his wings keeping you afloat, his air giving you flight. It infuriates you, appealing muscles aside. “Someone just took a picture of us, by the way. Have fun explaining that one.”

You growl as fiercely as humanly possible, wriggling in his grasp. “Stupid stupid stupid bird impedes justice, gets murdered for it.”

“Too wordy for a hashtag.”

“Okay, how’s about—” It makes your chest hurt when you do it, but you suck in wind towards you using your own breath, and shoot it down to throw his arms away from you. “Hashtag I Did Hawks’ Dad!”

His wings flap as he falls, but he catches himself in no time. You’re propelling back up already, clouds not even within touching distance yet. Not that you wanna touch them. They’re really cold. Might as well touch Endeavor’s heart while you’re at it.

“For your information.” His nails graze your nape this time, and he grips the back of your uniform. With a grunt, he pulls you back again, too strong for those weak birdy bones. You shoot downwards, gasping. “That would make you a criminal fucker.”

You’re sideways, hair twisting in strange ways as you glare up at him. His wings expand impressively, blocking the sun and giving you a good look at a world of crimson gold.

“Sorry about your dirtbag father. Can you get out of the fucking way?”

Hawks holds up a finger with a condescending look, pointing to his right, then his left. “See these? These are legitimate directions to fly in. Up is nothing. Up doesn’t have anything for you.”

“You’re a fake friend,” you spit, jetting up with a fist raised.

He blocks, immediately raising his leg to kick you, but you saw that move coming because sometimes you watch his fight compilations for entertainment (and his compilations in real life too, duh). His foot connects with your arm, and the sunlight gleams in his visor. “Is that so? Elaborate for me.”

“Do you know how fucking bored I am? Do you have any idea how much I hate every single fucking person on this planet?”

You land a square hit on his chest; the victory is short lived. Feathers sneak into your sleeves and pull you down, ignoring your kicking and screaming.

“Who could you possibly hate?” he sings.

“You, for starters, winged piece of shit! And Endeavor, yeah, that’s right, dickrider. Cry about it. I hate All Might too—did you know he’s a fraud? And his stupid ass sidekick, or ex boyfriend, or whatever, I paid him a visit and every time he’s about to tell me my future I end up dying, because life hates me just as much as I hate life! I’m not even allowed to know how I go out! Ryuku and Best Jeanist think they can appeal to my better nature, well, I DON’T HAVE ONE! Oh, I hope you get to marry someone someday, Hawks, and I hope they cheat on you and take all your money.”

It might look like you’re flailing, but you’re not. You’re just trying to air out your own clothes to get the feathers out. The man who had taken a picture of you is not full on recording the fight you and Hawks are having.

You flash him two matching middle fingers.

“Stop it,” Hawks snarls, apparently fed up now (one word against Endeavor and Fanboy Hawks comes out to play). “That shit’ll go viral, you know it will.”

“Sorry to ruin your perfect image, golden boy.” You finally rip the last feather out of your sleeve, biting it in half and spitting it out just to spite him. “Kiss my ass—fuck!”

You’re pinned. Fully against the building. The feathers aren’t under your clothes, they don’t need to be. They connect with each other to form a link that pins your ankles and wrists individually and before you can suck in any air a few more stuff into your mouth as a makeshift gag. Upside down. “I’m not worried about my image, songbird. Your popularity rating is at an all time low lately.”

Because you don’t pose for posers the way he does. And also maybe how not child friendly you are in interviews. Maaaybe because most of the other heroes don’t even like you enough to team up with you.

Not! That! It! Matters!

Hawks can read you well enough from your eyes. He maneuvers his body upside down to look at you face up, and looks into your gaze with a slight quirk of his lips. “What’s the matter, Nightingale? You hate hero society all of a sudden?”

NO SHIT.

“You wanna skip patrol today?”

NO.

“Why not?”

WE’LL BE CALLED TO FIGHT CLOCKINTHEHOLE ANYWAY AND IF WE DON’T GET THERE IN TIME PEOPLE GET INJURED AND YOU GET ALL SAD FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

“Sorry, gonna need your mouth to transcribe that one.” The gag is lifted and before you can scream he covers your mouth with his hand, “Hey,” he coos, looking like his hair is flying up, “I’m serious. We can skip patrol, or I can do it on my own. I’ll cover for you, no problem.”

“Dude,” you choke, and the wetness running up your temple makes you realize you’re crying, “I wanna die.”

His face changes immediately, dropping every bit of his persona in an instant. The feathers loosen and release you, dropping you, and he catches you bridal style before you can turn on Aerial.

“Alright, hang on.” His face is pained as he nudges your window open, carrying you in. “Hang on.”

The blood rushes back to your head, and the tears fall normally. He places you against your headboard, right next to the body pillow you always wake up next to. The sight of it makes you cry harder.

“Hey, hey.” Just like he did every time you tried to manipulate fighting tactics out of him to use against Endeavor, Hawks’ thumbs come up to brush your tears away. He sits at the edge of your bed, as though he’s visiting you in the hospital. “Hey, pretty girl, c’mon. Talk to me. Tell me everything. Let me help you.”

Your hands tangle in your own hair and your eyes shut, looking every bit the crazy lady you’ve become. “I want to fly into the sun. Please, just let me do that.”

“I can’t,” he pleads, taking his visor off and setting it aside. His jacket goes next, and he drapes it over you like the two of you aren’t indoors. And not on a date. He’s watched one too many cheesy romcoms. His favorite is John Tucker Must Die. You think that’s because he has mommy issues.

“I can’t,” he repeats, nudging himself next to you and moving your hands from your hair to your lap. His own hands go up to pat your hair down, and brush your shoulders, touch as light as a feather.

He’s grooming you. Dumb bird.

A painful sob escapes you, and you fall into him as he rubs your arms, your back, your hair. His bodysuit quickly becomes wet with your tears, but he doesn’t seem to mind, lips on your temple and arms tight around you. He even leans down and kisses a tear straight off your cheek.

“I’ve been living the same day again and again. I’ve lost count of the days. I killed people and I manipulated you and you keep helping me but nothing works. Everyday I have to go through this. Everyday the universe finds a way to kill me. I haven’t—” Your own wail cuts you off, and he squeezes you closer. “I haven’t seen nighttime in forever! I’ll forget what nighttime looks like soon, I’m so sick of the sun!”

He doesn’t say anything. Sometimes he believes you straight away, sometimes he doesn’t, but either way he eventually takes it in stride. He cheers you up. He takes you places or he talks and talks and talks until you’re laughing, laughing so hard you almost don’t feel the pain when you die.

His lips burn on your skin. He keeps them on your temple, warming you far more than his jacket does.

“I hate telling you this every time,” you sniff, “I wish there was a way I could fast forward it.”

Still, he doesn’t talk. He moves instead, holding you to his heart like you’re.

Gold.

When Hawks does speak, his voice is thicker than normal, like he’s holding back something. Tears of his own, or a confession. Too many times he’s seen you vulnerable now, even if he doesn’t remember, and you don’t think you’ll ever see him in such a state.

“If you wanna fly into the sun, I won’t stop you.”

You look at him. No hint of a lie in those golden eyes. Pulling away from the safety you’d embraced for a second, you sit back and swallow. “Yeah? No lie?”

“No lie. You’ll come back, right? The day will reset. So it’s okay.”

“Yeah.” Unless today is finally the last day. But you doubt it. You’ll know when it is. If it ever comes.

“Then you can go. Or…”

A few minutes ago, you’d have jumped out the window the second he stopped holding you back. “Or?”

“Or.” His tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Thinking face. One of the few people who doesn’t have a dumb thinking face. This one actually looks like he’s thinking. “You let me take you somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Surprise,” he says softly, “you’ll like it. Promise.”

And you figure you can always fly into the sun tomorrow. The giant ass star isn’t going anywhere.

—————————————————

He’s had a hand over your eyes for a couple minutes now, guiding you inside…somewhere. Every few seconds he makes a shushing sound, to who you assume are bystanders wondering why the rude hero who trended number one on Twitter this morning (#FrightingaleBreakdown) is wandering around.

“Are you taking me to a strip club?” you ask suddenly. “I really don’t wanna go to a strip club right now.”

“No, but that’s a good idea. Tell me that one later. Or, tomorrow, or whatever. Whenever you want.”

Yeah. Okay.

A door closes, and that’s when he finally moves his hand. You’d assumed you would have to shield your eyes from some ceiling light. But instead, you’re met by even more darkness.

Well. Not total darkness.

There’s a hint of white. A sliver of silver. And it’s everywhere.

You honesttoGod gasp, staggering back as you witness the night sky. The stars twinkle like shiny teeth (that sparkle, adding beauty to my faaaace, my shiny teeth that glisten, just like a christmas tree, you know they’d walk a mile, just to see me smile (woo!) my shiny teeth and me). Your hands tremble as they close over your mouth, and you don’t realize that you’re tearing up until Hawks’ fingers are under your eyes again, catching the tears before they can fall.

“I know a planetarium isn’t the same as the actual night.” He glows like this, how does one do that? What’s his skincare routine? “But…it’s better than nothing, and I’ll bring you here whenever you want. You say the word to me and we’re here. Or anywhere else. If you can’t get out of the loop, then you should take advantage of it. Have fun. Do things you’ve never had time to do before. I’ll help you.”

For all this trouble, you should stare up at the faux sky, not at him.

“And um, to speed up the process.” His cheeks dust pink, and he whispers, “Keigo.”

That’s when you find your voice. “What?”

“Keigo. My name. I’ve never told anyone, so, you know. I’ll believe you faster.” His face is red now, all the way up to the tips of his prickly ears.

“Kei-go.” You test it out on your tongue, eyes on him. “Well, what if I’m just messing with you and I’m not actually reliving today?”

He exhales in a way that tells you the thought didn’t even cross his mind. As if you’re sooo goodhearted you would never do such a thing. But you absolutely would.

“It’d be worth it.” Hawks—Keigo—shrugs. “To hear you say my name.”

Oh.

You step forward, you think, to kiss him, but before you get the chance the ground shakes, and then crumbles directly under your feet. You don’t even hear his cry of surprise. Is this an earthquake? No, quicksand? But that makes no sense—except the curse doesn’t make any sense at all, so yeah. Sure. You’ll go out like that.

You wake up with the taste of sand and good sense never to try and kiss your partner again.

—————————————————

“You’re early!” Hawks greets you at patrol.

“Yeah, well.” You sigh, blowing into the cup of hot tea in your hand. “We don’t all take our time like you, Keigo.”

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks x you #keigo takami x you #takami keigo x you #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia x you #boku no hero academia x you #ckc fic #valkyrie stories

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foxes-that-run · 6 months

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Perfect

Zayn said he wouldn’t buy the record when he heard Perfect (so salty!). Harry's emotions varied performing it in its short 27 performance run from Oct-Dec when 1D ended. These 2 stand out:

November 20 2015, rather than sing the Bridge Harry said to the crowd "if you think it's so funny you can sing it".

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3 days later at the AMAs he rolls his eyes and looks ready to walk out, the camera cuts to a kid who seems to agree. (Bridge is 2:40).

It was only performed 6 more times, in Carpool Karaoke (10:30) Harry stops singing for parts and the song cuts before the bridge, at the Jingle ball he looks away and the last time was new years.

Or this concert he put the mike into the crowd, someone stole the microphone and licked it.

Safe to say he regretted that bridge, it's savage to them both.

Writers

Perfect ties with Fools Gold for the title of the Haylor song with the most writers, at 7. While Fools Gold has all 5 of the band, Bunetta and Ryan. Harry and Louis are the only band members who worked on Perfect with Bunetta, Ryan and 3 others:

Jesse Shatkin, (cowrote Sia's Chandelier)

Jacob Kasher (Maroon 5 collaborator), and

Mozella (cowrote Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball and Fools Gold.)

To me, Perfect has more media grabbing pop-song than Harry Styles. HS’s best 1D work was with teams of 3 or 4 writers. In fact, Bunetta said Olivia came out in 45 minutes while overworking another "less good" MITAM song.

Timeline

Bunetta also told Rolling Stone about Perfect:

"That one took a long time, just because it was written over a couple different continents. It started as one thing and ended up where it is."

MITAM was made in the summer of 2015. To have been written in a couple of continents and with USA based writers it was probably either side of the BBMAs. It could have been started 'as one thing' in April in South Africa before the BBMAs other songs that reference Style including Two Ghosts started early in the year. The "ended up where it is" with those writers would be after the BBMAs, when they got back to the USA from July. This would be at the end of the album and he was singing it daily within 3 months.

Similarity to Taylors songs

It has the same chord progressions as Style and is also very similar to out of the woods as this video on Twitter shows. He called it a love song in the made in the AM interview (6 mins) and that it wasn’t literal in another. I do love this James Cordon bit and I love his Taylor smile so much.

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Lyrics

[Verse 1: Louis] I might never be your knight in shinin' armour I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight

Grapejuice, has the perfect (get it) call back to this verse, along with 'Red' and 'Pay for it' and I love him for it:

"I was on my way to buy some flowers for you (ooh) / Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath / There's never been someone who's so perfect for me / But I got over it and I said / "Give me somethin' old and red" / I pay for it more than I did back then"

[Pre-Chorus: Liam] When I first saw you from across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh, yeah Girl, I hope you're sure what you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises

Promises come up again in Woman "Promises are broken like a stitches is", which is interesting if both Woman and part of Perfect are written after the 2015 BBMAs.

‘Know what you are looking for’ is interesting. In "Say don't go" and the 1989 TV Vaults in general Taylor did not get what she was looking for. At 23, dating a 19 year old Taylor told us she didn’t get wavy she needed. Her most recent ex, JG was 29. (yes - JG was the age Harry is now! Imagine if he did that) So I kind of stand by this line.

The start refers to the night they met. Which neither has ever confirmed, I think it was in 2011 (see timeline) Many look at the coat he tries on in the music video, which matches both his Up All Night Tour outfit (from December 2011) and the 2012 Kids Choice Awards. The awards are fun though. The Up All Night DVD also has it.

[Verse 2: Niall] I might never be the hands you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Urgh I choose to attribute 'love from time to time' to one of the 6 other people writing this. To me this line always sounds like a boy-band heartthrob priority playing out in the writers room. No wonder it took time and HS1 to overcome this.

However, this does speak to a theme of them not being available to each other because of their careers and 1D punishing schedule. If I could fly's "I'm missing half of me when we're apart" and Half the World Aways " So you're not my girlfriend / Don't pretend that makes us nothing / Tell me you don't miss this feeling" speaks more honestly to the interplay of his band image, schedules and priorities which Taylor referred to Suburban Legends.

[Chorus: Harry, All] But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then, baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like goin' places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreamin' about Then, baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

Here are Haylor themes we know and love, Driving at midnight (Style, HYGTG, Wish You Would) generally going from a high schooler to superstar overnight (placed they can’t pronounce like Cannes), and hidden love/hiding (I Know Places, Slut!)

[Bridge: Harry] And if you like cameras flashin' every time we go out Oh, yeah And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about Then baby, I'm perfect And baby, we're perfect

The camera’s flashing is good imagery and his voice brings to life how personally challenging it was for them both in a way I Know Places didn't with very few words. Taylor also refers to this imagery in Is it over now?

But the break up songs is a low blow and I assume the part he regretted to the point of not wanting to sing it. In a later interview Harry said:

“The only time you really think, ’is this song too personal?’ is if you think about, ‘is this going to be really annoying for the other person?’ Because I do [care],” he finished.

Which I think the break up song line would have been very annoying.

If you made it through that reward yourself with Grapejuice at Wembley 🍇

#one direction #harry styles #haylor #Youtube #one direction haylor

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calendae-creations · 8 months

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Hello. Do you have any tips on getting started selling your handmade goods? I am disabled too and sometimes the only thing keeping my sane is knitting. Right now I'm knitting things for myself and friends. I think I may get to a point where I want to sell things I have knit instead of just gifting them and I was curious how you go about doing it and if you have any tips for getting started.

I'm not like, wildly successful at this by any means, so if anyone else has any tips, omfg please share your wisdom.

That said, first of all fuuuuuuuuck etsy. Not only do they have shitty policies in a number of ways (you can google it if you want; i don't feel like getting into that series of rants), I never really made many sales there in the decade or so I tried. And tbh most of the knitted things up for sale there are so disgustingly underpriced, it might be hard to get enough money from a sale to even cover the materials cost, let alone labor time.

Once I had given up on etsy, I was selling on twitter for a while? But we all know how twitter's going, so I don't even remember my login info to delete the account, lol. I did make way better money than I ever did on etsy tho! Like, twice the sales in one year than I got on etsy in ~10. Not even exaggerating. I made decent sales on facebook from a page for my business, but stopped trying after the third time they changed the interface in less than 6 months. If you can figure out how it works though, go for it!

I'm trying to build a proper website of my own for Calendae Creations, but html is hard and so is the rest of my life, so that's on the back burner for now. I'm really not sure how successful it'll be if I ever get it up and running.

Currently this is my only sales presence online, and I haven't tabled at an in-person event since 2018. I've been pleasantly surprised at being able to generate any income at all on the website famous for not making money, lol. I do really want to get into more in-person sales, but I really can't speak much to how well knitting sells at different kinds of events, because when I used to do ren faires and flea markets I was mostly selling pottery, jewelry, and live plants. I'm pretty hopeful about trying to get a table at Staunton Pride next fall though?

Tbh, as much as I love my job, I really would not recommend this as a full time primary source of income to anyone who has literally any other options. I'm just too disabled to do anything else anymore.

Related, does anyone know how to file USA income tax for this kind of thing??? I am so lost trying to figure it out.

#ask #knitting

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harvestyarns · 1 year

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💙

When it comes to Marvel I mainly focus on Black Panther, but I wanted something Red, White, and Blue to photograph during the summer months here in the USA. We've got Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day where cookouts are all the rave and you literally see stars and flags and all that jazz.

This year I decided on making Sam Wilson as Captain America for a number of reasons -- he's a person of color, a man of color, a superhero of color, and he represents America. If that doesn't scream volumes for a great deal of reasons then I don't know what does.

Since I can't classify myself as a big fan of Marvel since I'm considerably new to it, I have to work off of source pictures/movie screencaps most of the time. With that said I did not realize that the suits were different for Sam until I was in the full swing of things. When a friend asked me cool which suit are you making Sam in I'm like uh...? 😂 I told her -- a blend of two or maybe more, I really don't know.

So that's what I did. I worked off of these three images and a little bit of the comic book version of him to make my version of Captain America, Sam Wilson style.

So let's talk a little about yarn and the process. I stuck with Red Heart yarns, Their brightest shade of red, a light gray, and a Navy blue.

A lot of detailing went into Sam because making separate pieces would have made him too bulky looking. He took me about 10 hours between two days -- one of my quickest ones to make because again the focus was there so I could get him done before Memorial Day.

I kept reminding myself he needs wings because back during Christmas Eve I watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and I remember wings, but when I was all done I said ah! The shield! So I had to make that, too. 😂

I was unsure what to do about his hair. He's got it super short, but I wanted to add some texture to it so it didn't look like straight hair. It's a little higher than I wanted, but that's the yarn's fault (okay, and some of my own, too. I'll admit that).

He's my first doll that I haven't had to use safety eyes which was a little bit of a mind trip -- and so we're the glasses, but now I've done them so I can say, of course I know how to make glasses/goggles.

And of course not to forget Steve Rogers. I made him about a year ago or so, I think right around the Fourth of July. He was the quickest thing I think I've ever sold. A friend who is a big fan of Steve (and Bucky) saw him and immediately wanted to own him.

The troubles I remember having with him had been through the concept of making a helmet.

(That's my friends hand 😂)

----------

Anyway, thanks for stopping by to check out/read my post. I'll be sharing more photos of Sam on YouTube Shorts and Instagram if you're interested in seeing more.

At some point I'll most likely pop him in my Etsy shop to see if anyone would like to give him a forever home.

Please reblog to support a Fiber Artist, but to also inspire others to learn how to crochet/make Amigurumi and also to show representation towards people of color.

Happy Crocheting!

💙🧶

#crochet #captain america #fiber art #yarn #amigurumi #yarn addict #disney #marvel #mcu #sam wilson #anthony mackie #steve rogers #disney art #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #handmade #marvel art #mcu art

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wack-ashimself · 3 months

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Know what I never want to hear again, not even ONCE, the rest of my life?

"Our government would never do that."

YES, THE FUCK, THEY WOULD. THEY HAVE. THEY DID. THEY WILL, EASILY, AGAIN.

If we could also include to avoid: "Our government never did that" and "Our government COULDN'T do that*" It would be much appreciated.

During #JFK: They wanted to do a #falseflag, and blame it on #Cuba. During #Nixon: Crack to the blacks.

In the 70s, the #CIA OPENLY admitted they had a gun with a dissolving bullet that could cause an undetectable, natural looking heart attack. NOW, they have radar dishes they can point at people to give them execrating pain, making them nearly immobile.

We started with a genocide to fund the #usa, had slavery for far too long, made concentration camps for Japanese-Americans during #WW2 where we stole BILLIONS from their houses and assets, and today? Today we have the largest #prison#slave population in human history; yes, more than when we actually had legalized slavery. The biggest military EVER, which, historically, has killed more than any other military with new age weapons. Yeah-can't deny the whole white phosphorus, regular ole bombs, and of course, NUCLEAR WEAPONS. What's ironic? Japan actually hates us more for the firebombs we used on them (more suffering instead of instant death). Didn't know about the #firebombs? MOST DON'T.

And then we get to 9/11. Ya know. When our government shut down all airports, but let a FEW special planes go out of #Florida just after it happened, containing some very unique individuals (proven). Or how about how not 1, not 2, but 3 buildings fell down perfectly straight, which is basically impossible from being hit on ONE side. Oh, and the 3rd building, building 7, which contained a lot of classified government documents was never HIT by anything!? Or how JUST before all this happened, the pentagon announced (not for the first OR last time**) they lost trillions of dollars, and had no idea where it went? OR how the guy who owned the #twintowers insured them for terrorist attacks just months before it happened?

Finally, today....where our #DEMOCRATIC president, brain dead #biden, is openly funneling guns, weapons, and worse to a terrorist colonizing state called #israel, against a nearly completely defenseless people in #Palestine? A #genocide, in real time, for MONTHS now, funded by our government. They're trying to pass another funding bill of billions as I type. Over 12k children killed in cold blood. MULTIPLE RAPES have been proven done by the israelis. You literally can not imagine a worse thing to happen due to a government (outside adding cannibalism).

SO PLEASE, never fucking god damn say again "Our government would never do that" when they have done it EVERY-FUCKING-TIME! <Forgot to mention the experimentation on their own citizens. That's a whole other post!>

Because when you live in an #oligarchy, you got to assume the rich in control will do ANYTHING IMAGINABLE AND UNIMAGINABLE to maintain their wealth and power. Historically, they always fucking do. WAKE UP!

*The technology they hold back and use against us may not come out to the public for DECADES. We have proven weather modification is real AND works. Not a debate. And Direct Energy Weapons (DEW) have been documented to being real just recently...You really think they can monitor, categorize, AND filter ALL THE DATA we say and do without AI? No. And they've been doing that for HOW long? Over 20 years? And when did we get access to AI? Side note-pentagon RIGHT NOW strong arming their way thru congress, trying to force them to allow the military to turn on AI's capabilities to choose what it kills. So that's...#terminator fun.

**The #pentagon, aka, the military, losing money has been a tried and true method of filtering money to the bad guys. It's kinda like how Tony Stark found out he was arming terrorists in Iron Man. You forget we helped for Al-Qaeda and #Isis? WE DID. Osama Bin Laden was a CIA asset! Why? To fuck with everyone in the Middle East all the way to Russia. Look it up if you didn't know.

No war but the class war.

#cia #usa #classwar #class war #billionairescausegenocides #no war but the class war #no war but class war #biden #trump #israel #palestine #cuba

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masonshaws · 4 months

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15 people 15 questions

thanks @girlfriendline @giveemgreef @tblueger <333

1. are you named after anyone?

i am not! my middle name was an homage to my mom's grandparents but i have since changed it and my parents are blessedly allergic to otherwise naming anything after anybody

2. when was the last time you cried?

few days before christmas

3. do you have kids?

no and i do not want to. i have one fur baby (that i co-parent with my parents lmao) though as you all well know (scout my baby boy <3)

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

played kids' baseball/softball until i was like 10/11 bc i was constantly in the outfield and nobody can pitch until you get to like. high school. so it was boring and i hated it so i quit. i was on dance team for a while until i had to drop it bc recital dates kept being on the same days as school band concerts. was in marching band throughout high school, which counts bc i was a percussionist and had to lug around those heavy drum harnesses

5. do you use sarcasm?

a ridiculous amount. if we also count like comedic lying in this i accidentally convinced a coworker that there were only three seasons of spongebob doing that whole pretending that only the good parts of a show exist. such a shame spongebob ended after season 3. there's no more of it! just too bad

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

hair probably

7. what’s your eye color?

brown! medium tending towards dark

8. scary movies or happy endings?

while i love gothicness and gothyness i am a Known Weenie and certain types of gore literally make me feel faint. like the finale of the terror s1 made me a little faint and gave me the sweats and i had to fully pause the episode and lay on the floor for a while. so i guess categorically happy endings based on that. if a scary movie isn't super gory though i'll go for it

9. any talents?

i’m very performing arts inclined! i play piano, sing, dance, and act (was a theatre major in college). i memorize things quickly if i set my mind to it, am great at navigating, have great pitch memory (like i can be exactly or near-exactly on pitch when singing something i’ve heard before even without backing accompaniment. this unfortunately drives me crazy when people post pitch-shifted versions of songs and i can tell they’re off. bearer of the curse), decent stage combatant, good crowd weaver, and somehow bear the ability to unintentionally come off as intimidating to basically everyone i’ve ever met

10. where were you born?

iowa, usa

11. what are your hobbies?

i'm something of a gamer in my spare time. basically only solo joints though i'm not like gamer nhlers that play like. league of legends or fortnite or counterstrike. i've recently joined a community band and a bar trivia team (with my old middle school choir teacher lmao. he's a homie), i write fic every once in a while, read, dance around the house, go for walks when it's not cold, snuggle my pup, and obviously watch hockey. i keep telling myself i'm going to learn how to sew but trying to find beginner projects for men types is fucking dire and i keep not going out to get fabric for the pirate blouse i keep wanting to make rip

12. do you have any pets?

ah there's a separate question for this. scout, my yellow lab baby boy whose breeder had a confederate flag up in his barn when we got him (we saved you buddy). have some pictures

13. how tall are you?

5'5". short king territory

14. favorite subject in school?

i was a band/choir bitch. probably followed by english (literature). i liked basically all of it but phys ed though fuck that class i hate distance running it gives me a stitch in my side and you have to run a mile at least twice a semester (fuck you presidential fitness test). on top of all the other running they make you do. loved when they just did games though. matball my beloved

15. dream job.

actor, either stage or voice. unfortunately i do not want to live where the big voice acting studios are located and regional stage acting is kind of limited unless you go all the way out to chicago, which i tried for a couple of months before multiple breakdowns told me i should probably be closer to home. i enjoy being a librarian though :)

tagging @get-hockeyed-idiot @amandaleveille @wildaboutmnhockey @girldewar @letkirillfight @yes-perwallstedt if you guys haven't done it yet and also anyone else who wants to

#tag game

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whenfatecollides · 2 years

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honestly I was so emotionally drained a few months back that I didn’t even bother but at this point and seeing how dc are being promoted this cb I genuinely have to wonder what the fuck dcc think they’re accomplishing with all this?

- they literally threw away all the work our fandom had getting them their first win by not having a proper CELEBRATION with KOREAN FANS for it, how fucking hard was it to have a fanmeeting??????? if not an actual concert in KOREA (and I’ll repeat the FANS got them their first win, dcc did nothing for it, no ads, no nothing)

- magazine deals, mc deals, etc, all the stuff you see other groups get when they finally get their first wins, where is all that for dc? it’s not, because they just had to go to european festivals and a usa tour right after their first win (sure it’s great that intl fans got to see them but that’s not the point) how hard would it have been to promote dc a bit better in korea after this?????

- and speaking of the usa tour, there were sooooooooo many complaints about the venues, that they didn’t have enough capacity in comparison to the demand and there were so many people who didn’t have a chance to see them because of this? again for the stuff that matters dcc keep acting like dc is still a rookie group with no fans

- now we get to october, comeback announced, and they’re still releasing maison content from months ago while vision teasers are dropping, content that should have been released like a week after the event because literally what is the point of watching any of that so much later when you can’t even remember things anymore (you and I era I miss you so much)

- they gave the fandom not even 2 weeks to pre-order the album and immediately announced an eu tour 2 days after pre-orders opened, with no stops in south europe because suddenly europe is just 5 countries, giving european fans 2 days to decide before pre-sale started and a month to organise everything (when usa fans had a lot more time to save money and organise everything)

- dropping merch (I still can’t believe they’re selling a JACKET FOR OVER 100 DOLLARS LMFAO), albums, online concert and eu tour all in the span of 3 weeks because suddenly they’re seeing us as cash cows and for that dc are a big group

- this cb promotion has been just... straight up questionable? again no ads, still relying on fans to put up ads for them, still not doing shit about dc’s digitals when every other company in the industry does it for their groups, mcountdown was just sad to watch, no interview, no intro, no special set for the comeback stage??? we’ve always had a set since fly high era, frankly it was just depressing to watch

- 1st gen insomnias got nearly nothing of benefits in these last 3 years like it’s honestly laughable

- fans have been BEGGING dcc since 2018 to reprint older albums and they still don’t give a shit about it (and no, the albums being from a different distributor from their current one is not an excuse)

- this whole shit show with the halloween concert. splitting the girls’ solo stages between the two days, forcing korean fans to buy both dates if they want to see them BUT ALSO not giving intl fans a chance to see them since they’re only streaming the 2nd day? where is the logic in this? (also 25$ for a ticket of an online concert that won’t even have all the special stages is insane if you ask me)

and I could go on and into more detail but is it even worth it? the disorganization is so palpable that it just genuinely pisses me off. they keep acting like they’re a 2 year old company who doesn’t know what they’re doing and has genuine reason for mistake, but the reality is that at this point they’re an over 10 year old company. there is no excuse for what they’re doing anymore, and personally I’m at my limit as someone who has been supporting dc, doing content, and helping with projects for the past 5 years. for a company that is so dependent on their main group’s fandom they sure act like they could have achieved this all by themselves

#nothing against dc I love the girls to death but I am genuinely so tired #being their fan is supposed to be something that is fun! it's a hobby! but this year has jsut been stressful as fuck #genuinely what is the point?#what am I doing all of this for if they just throw all of our work away anyway?#like trust me my life does not revolve around dc and I will simply not put time and effort into the fandom anymore if things keep going like #this like I'm genuinely not having a good time lmao #jt

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littlemissmanga · 11 months

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15 Questions

thanks for the tags @wings-and-beskar, @starrylothcat and @anxiouspineapple99!!

Were you named after anyone?

My great-grandma :)

When was the last time you cried?

Literally yesterday. It wasn't a good day, though it did push me to get lost in writing.

Do you have kids?

Nope.

Do you use sarcasm?

It's my mother tongue.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their tone of voice/how they respond to me or speak to others.

What’s your eye color?

Hazel

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all around! (I'm a coward and really can't handle most scary movies very well).

Any special talents?

I don't know if it's a talent, but I unintentionally can reach levels of obliviousness that are pretty impressive. Not like when I'm doing something important or dangerous like driving. But if I'm working on something, I'm usually so focused I don't notice my surroundings. Two people at work were literally fired right next to me and packing up their desks but I was entering metadata with my headphones in so I deadass did not notice until it was time to go home and there was no one in my cubbie to say goodbye to.

Where were you born?

New York, NY USA

What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, painting, horseback riding, nature walks/hiking, theater (watching and performing).

Have any pets?

A very, very spoiled little pittie mix named Fin

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What sports do/ have you played?

I mostly ski (when I can get back north) and horseback ride, though my favorite sport to watch is hockey (LGR!)

How tall are you?

5'5" - very average

Favorite subject at school?

English and history. I loved classes where I got to argue :D

Dream job?

Literary Agent. Literally the only reason I'm not one is because commission life is tough and I don't have the constitution for that much uncertainty. But if I ever win the lotto, I know some amazing writers I'd love to represent.

NPT (and sorry if you've already been tagged!): @burningfieldof-clover @deejadabbles @freesia-writes @spacemagicandlaserswords @dukeoftheblackstar @dystopicjumpsuit

#thanks for the tag!#this was fun #and I got to talk about the pupper #Instagram

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sweetroyalberry · 9 months

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ooc; TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: you know

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Name: Neku

Pronouns: he/him/his [starting to consider they/them]

Birthday (no year): February 24

Where are you from? What is your time zone? Northeastern USA; EST

Roleplay experience: ~1.5 years, starting with Puyo Puyo Tumblr RP (yes I am serious) that led to friends recommending me to try FE indie RP. I went on hiatus for a few years but am back in closed RP form.

Got any pets? I only had some short-lived goldfish when I was veeery young

Favorite time of year: Winter

Some interests and things you like: Math (ew), gaming, music, golf

Some funfacts & trivia about you: Okay how did I miss this my first time uhh I try to do competitive gaming in Smash and Splatoon! Also I had a very brief time of playing drums when I was younger but now I just keep the rhythm to myself.

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Smash Bros, Splatoon, TWEWY, Touhou Project, and (most current delusion) Kiseki/Trails

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: Fighting, Empoleon (this one is too hard)

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Older brother has exposed me to many franchises I liked, with this time being him showing me a bit of FE7 on his totally legal GBA. From there I eventually played it myself but first got to complete Awakening later on and it snowballed from there.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? All of them barring FE1, 3, 5, and Three Hopes. FE4 is also technically there but I have attempted to start it many times; oh and FE12 as well.

First Fire Emblem game: Blazing Blade

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Echoes: Shadows of Valentia

Any Fire Emblem crushes? I think Lyn was my first due to FE7 being my first game (very creative I know), and now currently Ayra is probably within my walls

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: Tiki - Fates: Kagero - Three Houses: I literally cannot remember and am too lazy to check but let's just say Shamir - Engage: Ivy

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Promoted mages, specifically Sage

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? Probably General because I'm too big.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Blue Lions

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? Sigurd would be my pure gameplay pick, but Ike would be really fun to vibe with [he's probably my favorite lord behind Alm!]

How did you find TOA? Short story: N. Longer-ish story: I started to desire trying to RP again, especially with my rekindled interest in FE thanks to Engage's reception, and then I begun hanging out with N more and he told me more about this place. Yeah, said it was only longer-ish.

Current TOA muses: Mae, Sonya

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Mae is someone I saw (not too highly) placed on 2022-2023's Most Wanted list and I knew I wanted to do an Echoes muse to start. I don't know if they mesh with my own personality/style well, but they are definitely fun to play around with still. :>

Have you had any other TOA muses? Shamir was a short project that got smashed up due to a busy summer/nerves, but I do want to visit her again someday. Her voice and personality is very strong, but might not be for me.

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? Magic cool. Pegasus knights cool. Sword people cool! Personality-wise, I think I try to veer more toward social muses, which like I said w/ Mae doesn't really fit me in real life but...hehe.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? I'm still trying to find a general vibe, but I really do like writing scenarios that deep-dive into muses' thoughts, like...not 100% angst, but still not light?

Favorite TOA-related memory: I'm still young but running in right as everyone started kissing each other and being able to join was...very good.

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I somewhat shown off my more out-there delusions via tier lists (highlights being Yglr from a very brief attempt to bandwagon from FEH Book II hype before reminding myself why I hate bandwagoning) and I made my interest in Citrinne pretty public, but currently (when I am NOT getting absorbed into Alm-route side material oh god spare me please) I am desiring Anna Fire Emblem. No specification on which one, because that's part of the fun for me too :)

#ooc ~ see you in shibuya #Munday #// fun to talk about gaming and more writing delusions

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spinningbuster98 · 5 months

Video

youtube

Castlevania Chronicles (Original Mode) Part 2: Why yes the devs ARE laughing at you!

Let’s not beat around the bush any longer: this game, in its original version, is probably the hardest in the entire franchise

Yes: harder than Castlevania 3, and I’ve played the American version!

It’s also harder than the Adventure, mostly on account of being longer, though for different reasons

The Adventure was hard because the controls sucked ass, the game was slow and had input lag

This game has no technical hiccups, nor was it made artificially harder in a later version like USA Castlevania 3

This game is MEANT to be this way

It’s around this point that it starts to fully kick in: the level design and ESPECIALLY the enemy placement are designed for the express purpose of making you suffer and to quite literally troll you

This first level is mostly original but also a recreation of stage 2 from the original

Most of it is not too out of the ordinary for a Classicvania, there’s even a secret room with some upgrades. That giant statue of the Virgin Mary crying blood should look familiar to fans of Harmony of Dissonance

It’s the last section where the game decides to brutalize you

We have a short sections where you have to avoid a tight-ass trap with rotating blades, immediatly followed by a vertical section with skeletons pelting you with bones and moving pretty much randomly

And then a monster made of stained glass springs to life, it takes some punishment to bring down, will run away from you if you try to follow it, throwing its shield at you and when you DO destroy it it will break apart into tiny shards that will fucking home in on you!

Did I also mention that if you try to tackle it the “normal way” you’ll have to do so through a hallway full of Medusa Heads that makes the infamous hallway of Original Stage 5 look like a pleasant walk by comparison?

Did I also mention that this game does the same thing that USA Castlevania 3 did, with you taking more damage the further you are in the game, meaning starting with this level you’ll die in precisely 4 hits?

(To be fair the idea that it was the US version of C3 that introduced this bullshit is actually untrue: the original Castlevania also had this including the Japanese version, even Super Castlevania IV did this)

My personal strategy is to make the fucker walk down a platform, throw a bottle of holy water then retreat back which will cause it to run towards you (it behaves pretty much like an Axe Armor) and into the fire. Then when it shatters into pieces drop at the bottom of the shaft: you will off screen the pieces

Medusa herself is easy if you have the cross with the Double or Triple Shots otherwise she can be a grueling though admiteddly well structured fight where you’ll have to make sure not to let her get to close to you otherwise she’ll spam her tail attack

All in all this level isn’t bad, it’s only the last section that’s questionable

The Clock Tower on the other hand is the worst level in the game, no doubt

Mostly due to the last section

It’s full of gears that pop from the background and hurt you and there’s NO WAY to tell which ones do so and which don’t before they hit you you just gotta KNOW after you got hit, some of them pop as soon as you approach them, others do so OFFSCREEN! And they roll around the terrain, you can whip them to make them fall off the shaft but be careful not to make them bounce against a wall or they’ll hit you back! ( Remember: 4 hits and you’re DEAD!)

Then you gotta deal with the floating Peeping Eyes while balancing on those teeter totter things and God help you if you fall downwards forcing you to climb back up all.over.again...

And at the end of this shit show it’s only appropriate to face against the worst boss in the game: the Werewolf!

Does this bitch even have a pattern? She just jumps around throwing shit at you nonstop like a cocked up junky, I honestly don’t know how to deal with her without the cross combined with the Double or Triple Shot (this is something this game has in common with IV: the cross is overpowered but you won’t be able to abuse it nearly as much ‘cause you’ll be dying every 3 minutes)

Here’s a fun fact: the Clock in the background will actually show a different time depending on your system’s internal clock, at least in the original Sharp version

This may have been the worst of the bunch but don’t go thinking for a SECOND that the game is done with you, oh no, this train ain’t stopping motherfucker and you ain’t getting off until it’s done with you

#youtube #akumajou dracula #castlevania chronicles #my gameplay

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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Not to be an angry assyrian... but, anon, my silence on what? Sorry, i was too busy trying to stay alive and mourning those who died and trying to keep our culture alive... to comment on american christofacism? Which now that I'm actually safe and in Australia without the active threat of genocide, am combating (australian christofacism)? Because it kills us too, because they think their version of christianity is the only correct one.

"All Christians are bastards," not sorry to challenge your world view, but Christians arent privileged everywhere — we just had a genocide in 2013 where we were literally crucified and it's still not safe for us to come back.

My cousin was chased by a knife by her classmate's older brother, it wasn't just the terrorists doing it. My uncle was kidnapped. My grandfather was killed. My mother's uncle lost his leg. My other cousin died at 20. That's not even half of the list. Barely a quarter. They shot my cousin's husband in front of her.

Should I have left them all to die, let myself die during an active genocide, renounce the exact thing we were being killed for — that my family were murdered for, and say "Christianity is bad actually and all Christians are bastards look at the crimes we're doing in Europe that are unconnected to me and that I have no power over because, I (and my community) have no power."

No, and fuck you.

Also, that's such... a privileged way of thinking because white christianity harms us too. We used to get white missionaries to try and convert us, because we were seen as "lost" to them our christianity was "wrong". In my short stint in Jordan, while I was waiting for my immigration papers to go through so I could go to Australia (because Jordan wasn't safe for christians either, I was in a particularly bad neighbourhood because no one is rich getting out of a genocide and our neighbours attempted to set our house on fire. The police did nothing about it.) We got white missionaries trying to convert us in our churches, too.

The west calls us "islamisized christians" or "muslims wearing crosses."

That's just such a privileged line of thinking because... marginalised christians and marginalised christan communities exist there too. Let's talk about USA, because I'm assuming that's where you're from given the phrasing, well then let's look at Latine christian communities: do christofacists not tell them their christianity is wrong, too? Do they not attempt to proselytise and convert them? I'll answer you, they do. They tell them they're idolators, that they're doing christianity wrong, that their christianity is backwards, primitive, and "pagan", is that not a harm to a christian community where christianity is a majority? There have been and still are active efforts to both convert them and erase latine christianity. Is that not harm?

They do the same here to us, even though we're amongst the oldest of christian communities. If not the first. Extremist Australian christians dont like us and our traditions, either.

So anon, our silence on what? Speak on what? When our voices and goddamn existence (pertaining to my specific community) are being actively silenced and erased?

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avelera · 1 year

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I finally watched Top Gun: Maverick last night and while I don't have many impressions and will likely never think of it again since it's not really my speed, I suppose they were:

The flying scenes were very cool. I can see why people said that was worth the price of admission to a theater.

That said, if I hadn't been able to snark at the movie with my partner the whole time, everything except the flying scenes would have had my eyes rolling out of my head or had me chewing through the walls with irritation

As my partner said at all the "Rah rah, USA!" moments like when we first meet the fighter pilots in the bar, "Hmm, maybe I do hate my country!"

Some other observations, not all criticism! but with some spoilers below:

I don't blame the actors but yeah, the introduction to all the fighter pilots scene got my back up in that instinctive, evolutionary way that watching a bunch of jocks introduced in a movie as the heroes where they cheerfully bully the geeks makes me want to punch things. There wasn't necessarily any geek bullying but it was there, spiritually.

I have seen a plank of wood with more chemistry towards Jennifer Connelly than Tom Cruise had. Girl was trying her best but it was an entirely one way street. It actually might have been more poignant and matched the vibe better to make them brother and sister. (And actually, thematically, might have worked better too with the idea that Maverick has sacrificed his whole life to being a pilot, including relationships.) Truly one of the most baffling relationships of the film.

Because the actual most romantic and heartwrenching scenes (in that it had literally any heart at all but was also, admittedly, heartwrenching) was the Mav/Ice reunion. As my partner pointed out, it really took the actor's illness to bring anything that real onto the screen, because it was literally unavoidable. It was the only emotionally "real" moment in the film, for me at least, but that said it did pack a punch, to their credit. IceMav seems the only logical ship to me in the whole franchise I mean seriously, those dudes love each other. I felt bad for Mav losing his husband in the middle of the two weeks (??) they had to train for their mission. Truly awful timing, I'm sure Ice was very sorry for it (yes, I'm scoffing a bit at the realism of the timing even as I understand it from a dramatic angle).

No like seriously, Maverick and Ice loved each other so damn much that it made Tom Cruise's total lack of chemistry with Jennifer Connelly all the more side-eye worthy. Why even include it? I mean I know it's because a paint-by-numbers Hollywood script, especially in a film with as many "hunky" shirtless dudes rolling around in the sand together as Top Gun has, requires a token female to make sure we know that no one here is actually gay. But still. It almost made me *less* convinced of Mav's sexuality every time she was on screen with him (getting just an absurd number of closeups, btw. Seriously, did they do all those closeups on her so we wouldn't realize that she's taller than Tom Cruise or something? Was she ever on set at all? A mystery...)

Oh, and literally every time Mav pulled some stunt that would get him court martial-ed or something blatantly illegal or ridiculous in a US military setting happened, my partner and I exchanged a look and rolled our eyes. Yeah, the US military, famously known for being super tolerant of this bullshit.

There should genuinely have been a flashing sign during the scene where the pilots heroically set off for their mission that just said, "YOU WILL NEVER GET TO DO THIS IF YOU ENLIST. NEVER EVER. YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER DO ANYTHING THIS COOL SO DO NOT ENLIST HOPING YOU WILL." Like, to the point where it's irresponsible to not make it clearer that this is total fantasy.

Literally why did they even have pilots? I mean I know they gave some gobbledy-gook about why and obviously it's why we have the movie, but watching those missiles blow the airstrip to smithereens was genuinely like, "Yo, why didn't we just use those? Or bomb them from orbit? Why do we need pilots?"

More to the point why didn't they use drones? (Obviously: because we wouldn't have a movie.) Seriously, I want at least a college humor take which is just a drone pilot with a joystick somewhere in Nevada nudging the drone flight to do the same thing while totally safe the whole time and then he clocks out for his lunch break like seriously, WHY were any humans involved?

Anyway, 'twas silly but I almost would have preferred the whole thing as like a fantasy anime with not even vague attachment to the real world, so that I could enjoy the fighter pilot stuff in the spirit it's intended. Because every whisper of like... the actual political realities and how flagrantly this would violate them made me see red.

Oh, and I realized that fighter pilot narratives could be almost shot for shot replaced with knights in shining armor in a Medieval setting and it would be basically the same in a remarkable number of ways, especially the prep scenes for the pilots (armor) and the planes (their mounts). It would be an interesting film experiment to do.

And that's about all I've got!

#maggie watches top gun maverick

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