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attapullman · 2 months

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Bob From Stats | Robert "Bob" Floyd

Summary: College is a wild time, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the quiet guy from Stats riding around campus as a cowboy. Or what a good kisser he is.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: f!reader, smut, 18+ ONLY as always, dry humping, alcohol, drunken party games, mentions of studying because that gives me PTSD, semi-exaggerated Greek life for theatrical reasons

A Note From Mo: Somehow my frat!Bob, drunk Bob is Rhett, and 7 minutes in heaven ideas all rolled into one fic - wild! Massive shoutout to everyone who listened to me talk about Stats Bob (who is now officially my #2 Bob, I love him) and for supporting this here lil blog. May you find a hobby-horse-wielding future WSO to sweep you off your feet too!

“I hate this. I’m going to quit school and become a stripper.”

Anna gives you a wry look. “That joke was only funny the first time you said it.”

“So you admit I’m funny!”

The two of you have been spread out in the library the majority of the evening. Textbooks, snacks, and highlighters littering the glossy dark wood. You’re on hour five of assignments and your brain is pounding against the front of your skull. Your other classes aren’t too bad, a bit time consuming, but Statistics is a foreign language. Thinking in probable numbers? It was one thing when the nice guy who sat behind you helped explain concepts, but Anna does not have quite the same analytical mind.

The sky outside is an inky black and the library is quiet except for your frustrated huffs. It’s Saturday night. The rest of campus is indulging in cheap beers at Barney’s, slinking along Greek Row, or enjoying tonight’s episode of Saturday Night Live. It’s time to get out of here and crawl into your soft bed. Torturing yourself with Stats homework will be just as painful on Sunday.

“If I buy us a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough, can we blow this off and hang out back at the dorms?” Anna is nodding before you’ve even finished. Stuffing notebooks into backpacks and capping pens low on ink, you’re strolling down the library stairs not even five minutes later.

As the balmy evening campus air hits your face, you already feel fresher. Campus is quiet, late enough that most people are settled into their Saturday night plans. As the two of you near Greek Row, there’s a comfortable silence as you appreciate the breeze through the trees and the warm glow of campus housing windows.

That is, until a low whoop rings out. An undercurrent of boisterous cheering and what sounds like stomping feet. You exchange eyes with your roommate. What is that?

As if summoned, a group comes galloping through the neatly trimmed cypress trees around the corner. They’re stomping their feet in a rhythm, hands held mid-air to imitate holding reigns. Drunken laughs ring out between cries of “Whoa!” and “Steady there, Lucky!” To round it off, the leader of their horse play (literally) is full-on cosplaying as a cowboy, his jeans tucked into boots and a Stetson perched atop his head.

Wait, is he holding a hobby horse? It’s been decades since you’ve seen those horse heads stuck on a stick. The stuffed felt Appaloosa head is reigned in the cowboy’s hands, where he pretends to spur it back into action.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all.

The group continues its way toward you and you’re equally secondhand embarrassed and amused. As they grow closer you recognize a few guys from the Pi Kapp house and wave. But it’s Anna who makes the most shocking discovery when Mr. Cowboy tilts his brim up.

"Is that Bob from Stats?"

It takes a second to look past the brown felt hat and the hobby horse he's taking for a spin, but that's definitely the same pink-cheeked Bob Floyd who has lent you a pencil all semester.

“Howdy, ladies.” He tips his hat to you, all toothy grin and droopy drunk eyes. "Can I offer you a ride?"

You stare open-mouthed. Shocked. That slow rancher drawl is new. The unbridled confidence is new. Actually, the entire getup is new. For nine weeks you’ve seen him in the same trucker hat and sweatshirt combo while going over homework answers together. What is going on?

He’s clearly in the middle of his house party crawl, bright blue eyes half open behind his metal frames. Just as gorgeous as ever as a tendril of sandy hair curls against his forehead. Normally your reaction to him is tender, a puppy dog crush. But this wild, inebriated version of him? You’re hot under the collar.

“You think there’s room on your horse?” Ever since that first Stats class he’s made your brain feel like it’s on RedBull. The way he noticed you missing a writing utensil and offering you his extra. His kind smile when you get a homework answer completely wrong. Anna hasn’t noticed your crush, but it feels obvious with the way you can barely keep eye contact with him yet are unable to look away. Especially with that stupid cowboy hat on.

He bites his lip, considering your response, and his buddies all razz him as he drawls out, “There will be if we squeeze in.”

The wink makes your mouth dry.

Someone from the back of the group complains of the cold and the group prepares their steeds to head back to Pi Kapp. Anna explains you’re headed back to the dorms, tone deaf to the sexual tension, and Bob nods with his brow furrowed.

“Another time then.” His white tshirt practically glows in the moonlight. “Have a good night, chickadees. Get home safe!”

With another tip of his Stetson to you, Bob Floyd gallops away toward another keg.

You’re sprinting across campus, cursing how late your meeting with your advisor went. There was ten minutes to get across campus and he had spent four of those questioning whether you really needed another semester of French. You make it into the lecture hall with a minute to spare, finding your preferred spot in the lower rows where you can actually see the board. Right in front of Bob.

“What? No cowboy hat for class?” His cheeks flame red, the hope you’ve forgotten about his Saturday antics lost. He looks like himself today, his signature trucker cap keeping the hair off his face. Those friendly ultramarine eyes shyly focusing on his notebook because god forbid he makes eye contact after you’ve seen him gallop across campus on a fake horse.

He rubs the back of his neck over his soft-looking crewneck, an awkward smile playing on his lips. “It’s at the cleaners.”

You give him an amused grin before settling yourself into one of the classically uncomfortable lecture seats. Anna waves to you from where she’s rushing in, historically always late. The professor is shuffling notes at the podium as she collapses into the seat next to you, nodding her head in greeting to you and to Bob. She raises her eyebrows to you, a “remember when Bob was dressed as a cowboy” gesture, and your lips twist happily.

“Alright, class, who’s ready to talk probability?” The collective groans and hollers mark the start of lecture. You flip open your notebook and start digging around for a writing instrument in your bag. Like usual, you seem to be missing a pen or pencil when you need one most.

A tap on your shoulder. You turn and lock eyes with the frat boy-turned-cowboy with the shy smile. He holds out a pencil to you. Taking it sheepishly, you mouth a thank you and turn back to lecture. After nine weeks it shouldn’t be this embarrassing, but every week he’s given you a pencil since you whispered shoot! a little too loud on Week 1.

Risking a quick glance back at him, engrossed in the Empirical Law of Averages while he twirls his pencil, you’re not sure you can survive the rest of the semester.

By the end of the Stats lecture on Thursday, you have one brain cell to your name and seven pages of notes. What a brutal class. Midterms were quickly approaching and not a single professor had any mercy. As you pack up your stuff - including the borrowed pencil that would promptly disappear before next class - you make a study plan with Anna for that evening. She brings the chips, you’ll supply the vodka.

“Are you two not hitting the houses tonight?” He looks uncomfortable having interrupted the two of you.

Bob shifts his backpack to his other shoulder, adjusting the collar of his navy blue sweatshirt. Other than when he’s kindly exchanged homework answers before class - or been drunkenly galloping across campus - the two of you don’t speak much. The odd quip here and there, but overall the two of you exist in pencil-sharing quiet. “Everyone’s having pre-midterm parties before buckling down to study.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!” You look at Anna encouragingly. As needed as a vodka-infused study session was, one night out couldn’t hurt. And it was Thursday. No classes tomorrow meant you had three days to buckle down and attempt to understand anything you’ve learned this semester.

She eyes you warily, but agrees that Greek Row sounds like a better option than highlighting textbooks. Bob flashes you his timid smile beneath the brim of his cap. “It’ll be a fun night. Maybe I’ll see you? If not, have a good weekend!”

As he starts to walk out, a feeling takes over you. “Bob?” You watch him slow down and turn, wide blue eyes watching you from behind those unconventionally cute glasses. “You’ll be at the Pi Kapp house, yeah?” He nods. “Cool. See you around!”

Despite standing next to it the entire conversation, neither of you notice the pencil sitting on the desk, left behind as you head out for your respective weekends.

“What did you say?” You’re practically yelling to be heard over the EDM that Sigma Chi is blaring. They’ve turned their house into a rave with glow sticks, body paint, and music so loud your eardrums must be burst. The beer is warm, your arm has supernaturally purple paint smeared across it, and Anna has been unsuccessfully telling you a story for ten minutes.

Huffing, she grabs your arm and drags you toward the entrance, tossing your cups onto a random hallway table where a heated makeout session is taking place. They move out of the way just enough so the two of you can slip out of the old colonial house and out into the cool night. The ringing in your ears subsides slowly as you lean against the columns of the front porch.

“House number three? Also sucked. Three strikes and you’re out? Can we go home?” Anna grabs your wrist and pouts. She wanted movie night with vodka and a pizza from Pietro’s. You wanted to blow off steam.

But Alpha Sig had mostly been freshman and Phi Delt, while not a terrible party, had the most smarmy men on campus. The bleeding eardrums of Sigma Chi was preferable to pushing off men in polos just to grab another drink. You just wanted a semi-decently flavored alcoholic beverage - maybe three - while chatting with some friends. You weren’t asking for much.

Allowing Anna to drag you in the direction of the dorms, ready to admit defeat, you slow to a stop seeing the bricked entrance to Pi Kappa Phi. Bob’s fraternity. A few minutes wouldn’t hurt, right?

It takes a little convincing, but soon you’re in the warmly lit foyer of the Pi Kapp house. The vibe is more relaxed than Sigma Chi, with a keg in the corner, an array of liquor bottles in the kitchen, and hip-hop softly filling the house. You’re impressed they’ve even gone the extra mile with multi-colored string lights across every surface to brighten up the otherwise dark house.

“Yooooo, how’s it going?” A drunken loaf of snapback and Deep Eddy envelopes you in a hug. It’s Tyler, one of your freshman seminar PK friends. Exchanging pleasantries - the best you can with someone that far gone - he drags you further into the house. Miscellaneous groups of Greek and geed litter the hallways. Anna sees her friends from Delta Gamma and ditches you, promising to get home safe. Tyler continues on his mission to god knows where.

At least he’s considerate enough to stop in the kitchen so you can grab a whiskey lemonade to sip.

Eventually you’re spat into a sitting room of sorts, groups crowding the ring of sofas while drunkenly jeering at the game. You set yourself on the arm of one, trying to make sense of the theatrics. The latest victim laughs out a “Truth!” before everyone giggles wickedly. Are they playing truth or dare?

Your eyes gloss over the group, trying to figure out who else you know. A few PK’s you recognize, a girl who smiles but looks unfamiliar, and…a cowboy hat that is a dead giveaway.

Standing up and walking around the group, you tap him on the shoulder. The biggest blue eyes meet yours, a surprised smile splitting his face.

“You made it!” That deep drawl is back and that tingle reappears on your spine. Bob jumps up from the couch, beer bottle dwarfed in his hand, and comes to stand with you. “You having a good night?”

Ironically, your night is much better now that you’ve found him. He’s back in his cowboy gear, a worn denim shirt tucked into his jeans and those same cowboy boots scuff against the hardwood. You’re tempted to steal the felt hat from his head just so he looks a little bit more like Bob from Stats.

Squeezing your eyes shut, letting the alcohol be an excuse, you succumb to the obvious question. “I need to know - what’s with the…cowboy?” You gesture up and down, drawing a chuckle from him.

He blushes under the felt brim. “You know I have a slight accent, yeah?” You attempt to stifle your laugh as he incidentally talks in a thicker accent. “When I was a pledge they started calling me cowboy. Saw the hat while I was in town one week, ended up leaning into the joke.”

“And the hobby horse?”

He beckons you closer, bringing his lips to your ear. “Stolen from my little sister over summer break.”

There’s that wink again making your knees weak. He pushes his glasses back up his nose and takes another sip from his beer. Despite the party raging around you, nothing else seems to exist past him asking about your night and if you want another drink. You’re wrapped in the warmth of his words, itching to snuggle into his broad chest.

The spell is broken when “Cowboy Bob!” rings out from the crowd. The entire room is turned to you two. “Truth or dare, man?”

In the background of your intimate conversation with Bob, the truths and dares have reached full raunchiness. People have been stripped of clothes and dirty secrets. A bead of sweat gathers at Bob’s collar, aware that neither option is safe.

His worried gaze flits to you, as if you hold the correct answer, before tipping his hat back and exhaling, “Dare?”

It’s gutsy, but if there’s one thing you’re learning about the quiet guy from Stats, he’s full of surprises. The crowd bubbles with excitement, anticipating what dare will be dealt out. Next to you, the wannabe cowboy looks more annoyed than anything. He was enjoying talking to you not in a classroom and with a little liquid courage.

An evil smile crosses the dare-dealer’s face. He knows Bob and isn’t blind to what’s going on. He’s gonna help his buddy out on this one.

His arm stretches out and he points (with the red plastic cup in his hand) to the coat closet at the end of the hall. “Hmmmmm, I dare you to, hmm, play Seven Minutes in Heaven with…” It’s no surprise when the cup-turned-pointer lands on you.

Ice water down your back wouldn’t be as panic inducing. It’s hard to tell who swallows harder, you or Cowboy Bob. Every instinct is telling you to run, but that little voice in the back of your head wins out. As Bob starts to tell you it’s okay, they’re joking, you don’t have to, you grab his thick wrist and give him a nervous smile. You don’t even care what the punishment is for not completing a dare, this stupid drunken game has given you an opportunity.

The dealer of the dare follows the two of you down the hallway, leading the whoops and wolf whistles. Bob’s cheeks flame scarlet in the low light. You keep your chin high and eyes forward. He can definitely feel the way you’re trembling around his wrist.

Whether in anxiety or excitement it’s hard to tell.

The inside of the closet is dark, the faint light under the door casting only the faintest of shadows. Your heart is pounding, blood pulsing through your ears. Bob rubs his lips together nervously. It’s all you can do to not run your tongue along them.

“We don’t have to do anything, we can just talk.” The way he prioritizes your comfort makes heat pool between your legs. The brim of his hat is as far back as it can go, his eyes tracing the lines of your face as he gauges your emotions. He’s welcome to figure them out, you’re unsure of them yourself.

His large, warm hand rubs your forearm comfortingly, your skin too cold without his touch. You’re suffocating under his sweat-and-bergamot scent, citrusy and warm.

You bite the bullet. “What if I want to?”

His breath stops. Fingers find yours in the dark, interlocking on either side of your hips. Eyes you know are the deepest blue lock onto your gaze, a million emotions passing behind his irises. Face descending upon the space between you, tentatively showing his intentions. You meet him in the middle, caution out the window.

The kiss is gentle, puzzle pieces slotting together for the first time. He tastes like malt sugar and peppermint. Mouth warm and soft, enveloping you fully in his comfort. It’s even better than what you’ve imagined for the past nine weeks.

Bob begins to pull away, ever the gentleman. Your hand finds his collar, holding him in place. “Not yet, we still have, like, five and a half minutes.”

Despite the low light, his smile lights up the closet.

His lips return to yours in a rush, swallowing your mouth in a passionate heat. The press of his body to yours is delicious. Hands previously at your side meet your hips, lightly squeezing as you moan into his mouth. You reach up and hold the back of his neck, bringing him even closer as your lips toy with the tiniest bit of stubble along his jaw.

“You know,” he starts, holding the moan in the back of his throat. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since September.”

You pull back momentarily, a crinkle upon your brow. “Bob, we didn’t start Stats until January.”

He kisses the confusion from your face, his hands wrapping further around your body. “And you looked very pretty in that green dress at the homecoming barbecue.”

Bless your love of school spirit and free food. “Why didn’t you? Kiss me?”

“I don’t normally make a habit of kissing girls I don’t know. And clearly it takes an entire fraternity for me to get you alone.” The way his chuckle bounces against your skin has you squirming. Your schoolgirl crush on him wasn’t one-sided, and suddenly you’re hot for teacher.

You capture him in another kiss, tongue searching the seam of his lips for entrance. He obliges immediately, groaning as you explore his taste. Four hands roam skin, finding purchase in anything and everything. Your body has a mind of its own as you press against him, chest heaving with your passion. The right shift of fabric on fabric reveals that he’s equally as affected by the chemistry.

Reluctantly, he pulls away once more, threading his fingers across the back of your neck. Takes a moment to capture his breath as he sees the lust in your eyes. A deep breath. “As much as I like you, I don’t want to do anything if you’re drunk.”

Soft fingers follow the line of his arm to where it wraps around your waist. How is he this impossibly sweet? Thoughtful, respectful, and looking hot as sin with swollen lips. It’s unfair.

“I promise I’m not.” You stroke the back of his hand. “Please kiss me?”

His large hands unwrap from your waist and travel down, shifting behind your legs and pulling you up, resting your back against the wall. You tangle your legs around his waist as best you can in the small space, relishing his firm body pressed deliciously close, warm and solid. Kisses smeared across lips and jaws as noises crescendo. You’re panting as you trail down to his impossibly long neck, desperate to cover it in affection.

You’ve barely explored the expanse of skin when the door flies open, the boisterous party sounds flooding in. Reality strikes like a slap across the face. The truth-or-dare ringleader takes you in - legs wrapped around Bob and hands creeping toward your ass - and whoops in delight. Who knew Cowboy Bob had it in him!

“Time’s up, lovebirds!” He crows and reaches forward to slug Bob lightly on the shoulder.

Not skipping a beat, Bob shoves his friend back and throws up his middle finger. “Fuck off, Milburn.”

The closet door slams shut, blanketing you again in the intimacy of the moment. You’re looking at him with unsure eyes and he’s praying the moment hasn’t been ruined. He’s waited seven calendar months for this opportunity and his fingers are so close to enjoying the plump squeeze of your ass.

“We can go back to the party if you want?” Your voice is so small, nervous outside of those bold seven minutes. Tentative breaths exist between you.

In lieu of an answer, he bows his head to give you a searing yet gentle kiss.

That cramped coat closet suddenly is an inferno, his tongue slipping inside your mouth and groaning at the burning sweetness of your taste. Your hands grip his shoulders as you fight for dominance, fingers tangling in denim. Hips brushing together, still clinging to the idea of this being innocent.

An innocence immediately lost when Bob strikes up the courage and palms your ass. Soft and pliable and perfect to squeeze in his palms. He remembers the exact day you came to class in the tightest jeans known to man (laundry day) and the way he had dug his pencil in his palm to avoid a semi as your curved ass met the lecture seat. Something unavoidable now as you squirm against him, moaning your pleasure against the pulse in his neck.

Nothing has ever felt as good as rubbing against Bob Floyd’s clothed bulge. One glance down and you’re dizzy with arousal. Rutting yourself against him as best you can with your limited mobility, sloppy kisses exchanged as the two of you can barely keep your mouths closed. It feels so good, too good.

Lost in the moment, one hand slips below the hem of your skirt, warm skin on skin. Any noise from outside the closet dims to a hum. Two hearts beating rapidly as desire fully consumes, directing lips to too hot exposed skin. You murmur your need in his ear. You don’t care where you are, you need him.

Bob tucks a finger under your thong, feeling the slick coating your folds. The whine that leaves him is desperate and gruff. He groans against your throat. “Shit, I don’t have a condom.”

Undeterred, your lip catches between your teeth, core muscles contracting as you grind your hips forward. “Doesn’t mean I can’t go for a ride.”

He’s immediately on board, teasing you briefly before extricating his hand to support you better against the wall. His hands practically swallow your ass, flooding you with lust. You thrust your chest against him, desperate to touch every spot on his handsome body as your hips begin to grind.

His hands are sweltering as they trail down, effortlessly clutching the back of your thighs to give you leverage. Your clit finds friction against his jeans and your mouth hangs open as you buck frantically into him.

“Look at you move, cowgirl,” he breathes out, infatuated. The nickname spurrs you on, whimpering against his lips.

One hand clutching his bicep, holding on for desperate life, while the other snakes its way atop the damned cowboy hat that’s stayed on the entire encounter. Gripping the top of it and holding fast as you ride his clothed bulge with everything you’ve got. Denim and lace against your clit, rubbing deliciously as your brain fuzzes. His hot mouth focused at the hinge of your jaw, sucking soft bruises into the skin; moaning when you brush him just right.

“I’m close,” you whisper against his cheek. Time has stood still, but it’s embarrassing how close he’s gotten you to orgasm with just his clothed cock and strong hands.

He ruts his hips forward, meeting your thrusts in heavenly synchronization. You’re panting as the pressure on your clit catapults you, so close to the ultimate prize. Whispers of you can do it, cowgirl, cum for me, doing so good riding me, just a bit more, cowgirl fizzle your senses.

“O-oh!”

It’s intense, the blinding pleasure coursing through your body. Prolonged by the thick bulge still rutting against you, ready to burst itself. Lips tickling your ear as he praises you. You want to live in this perfect moment of bliss. A moment only perfected when Bob’s fingers grip too hard and his hips stutter up into yours. His all-consuming orgasm only muffled by the skin of your shoulder as he rides it out.

The rhythmic slowing of your breaths is all you can focus on. You breathe in, he breathes out. Small smiles and a blush barely visible in the low light.

Delicately, like he knows you might break, he releases you back to the ground; taking his time to smooth down your skirt and straight out your top. Your own hands reach up to his chest, fixing the fabric that had bunched up in your passion. Adjusting his fogged glasses to look into his beautiful eyes.

It doesn’t matter how much you clean up, one look at you two and anyone would comment you’ve been ridden hard and put away wet.

With one final kiss to your lips, you feel something land on your head. The brown cowboy hat with the rip along the edge. Cowboy Bob showing off his cowgirl.

You tentatively open the closet door, eyes adjusting to the normal light. Painfully aware of the wet splotch on the obvious front of his jeans, Bob holds your body against him as a human shield. The party is still going strong - your antics have not interrupted anything - and you slip toward the front door without notice. Well…mostly, as a few wolf whistles reach your ears.

“It’s not that late, you want to go back to mine? I’m just off Thornton. It’s quiet since everyone is here.” His eyes are so hopeful in the dark night. So desperate for you to say yes. For you to be his cowgirl beyond tonight.

You wrap your arms around him and pull him close, careful to avoid the spot where your bodily fluids have drenched his jeans. “I’m in.” Your smile is blinding. “We have about nine weeks of Stats to make up.”

The brick is uncomfortable behind your back, but it’s hard to care when his lips feel so good. Broad shoulders shielding you from the hallway, trucker hat turned around and glasses in his pocket so there’s not an inch between your faces. Agreeing to meet outside before lecture was such a good idea.

Despite spending most of the time between Thursday night and Tuesday afternoon in Bob’s apartment trying every position in the book (with teasing hollers from his Pi Kapp roommates adding to the soundtrack) you can’t help but steal these five minutes. He looks so cute, to not kiss him would be a crime.

Bob squeezes your hips, lips trailing down your jaw. “What’s on your mind, cowgirl?”

“I’m trying very hard to convince myself that we pay a lot of money to attend this school and should go learn about statistics. Even though I really only want to head back to my dorm and see how sturdy that loft bed is.”

From where his nose traces your ear, a guttural whine leaves him. “You can’t say something like that and expect me to go to class.”

You pull back to look at him, fingers tickling the close cropped hair at his neck. God, he makes it so hard to want to be responsible.

“Let’s make a deal, okay? We’ll go to class, learn, and tonight you come over and for every study guide question you get right I’ll take off a piece of clothing. Sound good?” He’s practically panting as he smothers your mouth in another kiss. He’s really good at Stats. A steady stream of students files past Bob’s back, a sign that class is about to start.

You press another kiss to his lips. “Let’s go or we’ll miss out on seats. Plus I need to dig through my bag for a pencil.”

“Do you think you actually have one today?” He smirks, amused. The eighteen pencils he’s lent you say otherwise.

Your cheeks are hot under where he kisses them. “Uh…if I don’t can I borrow one? If you have one, that is.”

He lets out a soft chuckle and holds you closer, rubbing your noses softly.

“You do realize I’ve been buying pencils all semester just to give to you, right?”

Turning his cap around - insides fully melted - you know you’re in this rodeo for the long run.

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760 notes · View notes

lowkeyrobin · 3 months

Text

MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity

warnings ; language

y/s/n = your ship name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone

TommyInnit donated $10!

"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"

only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine

if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you

"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"

after a while he gets invested in the shipping

"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"

"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"

"I found one and it actually looks good!"

reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)

you and Tommy make your own fanfic too

he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀

literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you

such a hopeless romantic

RANBOO

always doing you favors

never saying no to you

"yes sir/maam!"

always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck

it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg

chat always asking where he is during one of said streams

editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them

the chemistry???

you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out

editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo

they do too 😭😭

giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you

he's literally head over heels bruh

gives u free merch and stuff

FREDDIE BADLINU

he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you

claims it's for the bit

lets you dye his hair

ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO

he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off

always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping

always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear

constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys

it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything

the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard

especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo

same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc

editors and fanfic writers have field days with those

just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????

even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing

supports the fanfics

he honestly reads them

if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies

QUACKITY

"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop

qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date

basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp

qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best

cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding

qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy

youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"

and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything

daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"

cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two

fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit #qsmp #osmp

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fountainpenguin · 6 months

Text

Tango POV Session 3 highlights (My first POV this session, jumping in with no spoilers)-

Skizz: "I want a giant blinking heart in the sky" Tango: "Cool idea :) You're doing the redstone, right?" Skizz: ... Tango: "YOU'RE doing the redstone for that, right?"

Skizz: "While editing I was like... 'Am I a loser?' Tango: "No, no, no! It was well before editing that I realized that."

I do love the server dynamics that give us gems like Mumbo sprinting across the ground yelling about how he has a quick, urgent thing he needs to do... Just an average day in the death game.

slkdjf Tango and Skizz finally found someone just as desperate and needy as them... Enter the man who has been shunned for 3 seasons because of his boogeyman kill. We love a BigB!!

BigB: "Skizz, this might be time to point out my weak building skills-" Skizzleman: "Oh no, don't worry. That's why we've got ourselves a Tango!" Tango: /incoherent shrieking and denials

Tango assigned homemaker by the narrative.

So just to be clear, we've got Tango "I will teach you redstone and cheer you on" (Mansplain), we've got BigB "There is no hole in the mesa" (Manipulate), and Skizz "I built the base" (Malewife). Good for them.

Skizz: "At my IRL job when I had to create blinking lights, I literally had someone go back to the breaker and flip it."

Tango, to Cleo: "That's all we are! Cringe 'R' Us!"

sdlkfj Tango hugging and comforting Torchy over how scary Etho's water bucket attack was. "If he comes back, I will take care of this."

BigB: "I have an anvil." Tango and Skizz losing their minds: "BEST TEAMMATE EVER!"

Heart Foundation: "We will join forces and gift our hearts to a randomly selected person. Everyone will like and protect us; we are creating our own plot armor." Etho, immediately after receiving his hearts: "I am a huge fan. Sign me up. Whatever I need to do to stay on. I will let you use the enchanting table. I would be dead if it were not for the Heart Foundation."

Gem and Scott riding up on their zombie and skeleton horses would be SO terrifying. Can't wait to see the fanart of that sdfklj

Tango killed it this session, he did not cut corners in babbling to Torchy.

Gem: "I think your task is to remove light sources from the server." Tango: "That would be very incorrect." Tango as he sprints away, muttering to Torchy: "I know?? They were standing right by us and they didn't even notice??"

Torchy has such boogeyman tendencies, geez. Is this Leven Thumps; did we confine the spirit of the boogeyman to a piece of wood??

Tango, raiding someone's base: "You want to? We could."

I enjoy the new rule about Yellows having one chance to call people out on their task. I think this is a good move to up the tension and also encourage people to do it because you only get one shot per episode. Don't wanna waste it!

slkdjf @ Tango chatting with Etho, Etho susses out his task, so Tango immediately runs to Grian to confirm the rules. Grian tells him no problem, Etho's green so he's in the clear. Tango runs off crowing in laughter.

Lizzie: "I've heard some weird things about you." Tango: "We are excellent today." Lizzie: "That's the weird stuff I've been hearing."

?? Is Tango's official canon that redstone exposure turned his eyes red? Neat.

lksdjf Skizz seething about Impulse.

Tango: "What did he do?" Skizz: "His task was to find somebody who's got greater than 25 hearts and find a way to - air quotes - "accidentally" get them to lose 5 hearts. So he made sure I lost 20."

Yeah, that tracks.

Freaking goodness, Tango put his entire heart and soul into this invisible friend task.

Bdubs' globe is looking amazing <3

?? Etho running up to Joel and saying "I love you?" What is the context; looking forward to figuring that out.

Etho: "I love you." Joel: "Okay, I know you're obsessed with me, I saw you made me your thumbnail of your first episode, but come on..."

Called out at the end!!! Devastating!!!

That is the end, but what a great session. So much death...

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b4tasquad · 11 months

Text

✭ HANDSY: NIKO OMILANA

Authors note: the lack of beta squad related stuff on here makes me sick every time i open this app. therefor i’ve made it my mission to not only revive the beta squad # but also find others that love them as much as i do. please hmu if you like them, i beg 🙏

Warnings: eh nothing really. just language, lmk tho.

…

“I still don’t get why we couldn’t have someone else in her place.” Niko stares intently on the flat screen facing him, eyes set on you getting placed in position in the other room.

When the YouTuber got told that they’d be filming a blind date video like this, he was excited. Not only would he see two people spend a long amount of time with a complete stranger, but he’d laugh and joke about it while getting paid. It was a win- win situation. What he hadn’t seen coming was the special guest on today’s episode being you, his girlfriend.

Now, he had to watch guys try to flirt and win you over, and had to fake being happy about it too.

“The people wanted her.” Kenny shrugs from his seat next to him on the comfortable sofa, eyes on his phone but still knowing who his best friend was talking about. He was referring to the post they made on their official account, asking people to comment who they wanted featured more in videos. Majority of the comments asked for you, another famous influencer in the Uk, who had been spotted around the guys before.

“My girlfriend, really?” He still feels uneasy. Not in a million years would he think you would ever leave him for another guy, but ideas that the internet would start shipping you with someone else were entering his head. It made him feel sick.

“That’s what you get for having a secret relationship.” AJ replies making the rest of them break out into mocking laughter. The group knows the internet would break your relationship into bits, overanalysing and picking on everything but they still found humour in how mad their friend seemed to be at the thought of his girl being on fake dates

“So funny.” The tall boy rolles his eyes. When AJ, Chunkz and Sharky sat behind him doesn’t stop laughing, he makes a move to hit every single one of them. “Shut up.”

Fortunately, they’re told to get into position, making them ultimately shut up. The camera got set up and the person behind them giving them a signal to start.

“Today we have a special guest!” Kenny introduces.

“It’s me.” You speak flatly, hearing his words through the mic in your ear. “I’m the special guest.”

You can hear the guys groan hating the lack of happiness in your voice. Keeping up his role and hiding the fact that you were in a committed relationship, he clears his throat. “You gotta be more enthusiastic than that. You’re on beta squad, we’re giving you a chance to make a name for yourself.”

If you hadn’t been on camera, you would threaten to break up with Niko, but since you were you tried a different approach. “You’re almost speaking like I don’t have more followers than you. Bitch I’m making your career.”

“A round of applause.” Sharky tells at your bite back, and Niko side eyes him knowing of the small crush he had on you. It wasn’t hard to tell really, the guy took your side on literally anything and smiled stupidly at the things you said.

“Niko could you zip it, we’re paying her for the minute don’t drag it out.” You can’t help but laugh in your seat at Chunkz’ words, nodding in approval at his humour.

“Anyways.” You continue, eyes set on the camera as you cross your legs. “Let’s get into the video.”

The boys introduce the idea for the video and that’s when you remember this is the first time they’ve done it on their channel. Basically, you’re going to be going on an arranged date with a guy, and the group have certain stages you had to go through to help you find ‘your perfect match’.

As Kenny concludes the whole thing, you can’t help but roll your eyes and sigh. “ I’m not even looking for a guy. I’m all good.” You tell, a little smile on your face as you think of your lover. As if catching on to it, Niko also stupidly smiles in his seat, feeling much better about it now.

“Contestant one.” They call out and the next second, a blonde walks into the little setup. From across the table you thin your lips a little as you look over him.

“She hates him!” Chunkz cackles, pointing at the scene on the screen. “Did y’all see that little lip thing? This gyal is crazy for that one.”

Niko grins to himself.

“Hey.” The guy greets, and to be polite you get up and hug him, muttering pleasantries. You’re going for a friendly and comfortable hug, your arms loosely wrapping around his middle. The guy on the other hand tightened his hold on your waist, hands creeping down.

“Hell no.” You push away, a disgusted laugh rippling out of you at this actions. “D’you not have shame? Mans tried to grab my bunda before introducing himself. Get him out. Can I vote people out?”

The four other members, slowly look towards Niko, watching almost fearfully as he gets up from his seat, not caring wether the camera was still on. He wasn’t thinking logically, only feeling anger as someone got handsy with his girl. You’re laughing at the guy, not even giving him a chance to explain himself when Niko storms in, eyes set on the unknown guy.

“You, get the fuck out.” He points towards the exit. Behind him, the rest of the guys run after him, calling for their friend to stop.

“Niko, chill.” Sharky tells him, coming up to him and stopping him from doing something stupid. You’ve completely frozen near the table, never seen your boyfriend so mad.

“I’m not going to stop, what the fuck? This lad is proper mad, trynna grab her.” At his words you finally snap out of your shock.

“Let it go.” You plead with him, coming to stand besides him. Still wary of the countless eyes of contestants and others, you make a note to not touch him and plead with your eyes instead.

He silently nods, but he’s not done. “He’s out. Or me and y/n aren’t doing the video.” To someone who only know you two as influencers, they must think Niko is crazy. Not only raging, but threatening to leave the video for a girl he didn’t know that well must’ve seemed crazy.

“Why are you so mad?” The guy who minutes before tried to touch you questions, standing a good distance away from you guys.

“Don’t fucking speak, you little shit.” You tell him, sick of him. Because of him, your boyfriend not only got uncharacteristically mad, but the guy you didn’t know had managed to make the whole thing weird.

It wasn’t a question for the rest of the beta squad, without even a second of thinking they got the guy removed of set, him cussing him out as they do so.

“You good? Can we continue?” AJ asks, his question directed to the two of you. Niko’s chest was heaving, and with the lack of eyes on you now, you take a hold of his hand, kissing the back. It seems to relax him a great deal.

He nods. “Yeah.” Letting go of your hand, he leans down to hug you close to him, secretly kissing your covered neck, whispering a little “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay baby.” You tell him, nodding to give him even more reassurance. “Don’t worry about these guys, I don’t want anyone but you. This is just a video.”

Even though he doesn’t seem completely content with the idea of it, he seems to feel much lighter than a few minutes ago. Now, seemingly in the joking mood again, he huffs a laugh. “I should’ve smoked his jaw.”

Kenny is the first one to break as he hears the words, imagining Niko in a fight. After that, the rest of the guys fall into heavy laughter, and you can’t help but let out small giggles yourself at the thought of your funny and problem solving boyfriend getting into a physical fight.

As if you’ve betrayed him, he looks at you with widened eyes and an open mouth, before addressing his friends behind you. “Stop laughing!”

They laugh even more at that.

#niko omilana #Niko omilana x you #Niko omilana x reader #beta squad #aj shabeel #kingkenny #chunkz #sharky #y/n #celebrities #youtube

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wen-kexing-apologist · 4 months

Note

Top 5 BL KISSES of 2023!

You’re so cool! Love you! 😘

💋

Love this question, but I tend to be really really in love with the like smaller kisses in shows some times cause of the #tenderness and #domesticity, but since there are so many good kisses and you think I'm cool, I'll give you 5 big and 5 small kisses 😘

5 Big Kisses

The Ultimate Winner- Yai and Jom, I Feel You Linger in the Air, Ep 7

What a phenomenal way to break the tension. Bright and Nonkul cycled through so many emotions in this entire scene fleeing the party, and I remember how well done this kiss was not only for the kiss itself but because everyone I knew was tense as hell seeing these boys kissing out in the open where anyone might see them.

Ray and Sand, Only Friends, Ep 2

Again, love or hate Only Friends does not matter to me, but I was absolutely obsessed with this kiss for quite awhile because I love the visual metaphor of things heating up between Sand and Ray by having smoke pour out of their mouths around the kiss. Like they were literally smoking hot, and I thought that was cool as fuck.

Yamato and Kakeru, I Can't Reach You, Ep 8

So many chances to lock lips, so many interruptions, and finally, fucking FINALLY that curtain came around both of them and the possible interruptions didn't matter any more. If you are going to save any kissing until the very last episode, this is how it should be done.

Lom and Nuea, Wedding Plan, Ep 6

I'm just going to leave this here. I really loved their sex scene in this episode. The Me Mind Y boys have some killer sex scene game.

King and Uea, Bed Friend, Ep. 9

gif by @gunsatthaphan

There are a near infinite number of KingUea kisses that I love with my entire being, but I think what takes the cake for me with this kiss in the bathroom in Episode 9 is the teasing, begging, and nuzzling. Like it just feels so familiar, domestic, and still full of desire and I appreciate that these boys getting together did not decrease their sex drive over time like a lot of BLs tend to do.

5 Small Kisses

King and Uea, Bed Friend, Ep. 4, 6, & 9

gif by @gunsatthaphan

I love boys that simp for their boyfriends, and though King and Uea are not officially boyfriends yet, these little moments, the little kisses and stuff really make King's interest in Uea feel real, and it's cute as fuck. I also love that Uea mirrors this kiss near the end of the show.

I also love the forehead kiss that Uea gives King during the pet play scene in Episode 6. I don't know why but it just feels almost sacred in a way, similarly to the Ep 4 kiss, the smaller quick kisses feel like something beyond just a casual hook up or friends with benefits situation. Now, we should know King has been interested in Uea for year, but he really starts leaning in to that around the time that I'm pretty sure Uea's feelings for King really start to solidify, and coming out of that pet play scene, these two are ready to be boyfriends. So I just love that little moment

And Ep 9 I love the forehead kiss that King plants on Uea after his stepfather is arrested. I just love Uea resting his head on King's shoulder, and King running his thumb across Uea's knee to comfort him, it feels domestic.

Han Baram and Im Han Tae, Sing My Crush, Ep.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

IM HAN TAE DOES NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT HE HAS ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR HAN BARAM HERE. IM HAN TAE IS FULLY JUST ACCIDENTALLY TORTURING THIS POOR, SAD GAY BOY! But I love this kiss so much, it's so sweet, it's so much fun, and you know what Han Baram deserves little kisses like this.

Phaya and Tharn, The Sign, Ep. 3

gif by @crispywizardtale

These two are so obsessed with each other it's disgusting. It's also the first real kiss they've had in 5 episodes and I found it very fun and sweet. Phaya said "oh you seem to be struggling to actually tell me you like me, let's kiss about it" and honestly, love that for him.

Tinn and Charn, Laws of Attraction, Ep 7

gif by @spicyvampire

Okay so this is technically not a kiss, but it is one of my favorite TinnCharn moments so I am counting it. Thank you for older gays, and also thank you for having fun and being playful with each other after sex. I love when people do stupid shit like this, and Tinn is just the biggest loser and he deserves to bite Charn as a little treat.

Shin Ki Tae and Lee Wan, Our Dating Sim, Ep 6

gif by @hanjiwoos

THE GIGGLES

THE GIGGLES HE GIGGLED

This scene was so sweet and I really really need to rewatch this show.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

#best of bl 2023 #ask game #i feel you linger in the air #ifylita #only friends the series #i can't reach you #wedding plan the series #bed friend #sing my crush #the sign the series #laws of attraction #our dating sim

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bloodynereid · 6 months

Text

Reapers & Ravens

<< prev | chapter vi | next >>

pairing: jordan li x oc

tw: trauma ! literally sm of it - this ep was just trauma central, also trauma response, mentions of torture, experiments, soldier boy flirting ??, swearing, seizures, mentions of death, morally iffy, murder, manipulation - i think that's it ? lmk if there's more

description: the story of a girl. a girl cursed by compound v to live a life without touch.

a/n: so i'm actually proud of this chapter yayy! it's also officially the longest chapter in the series - second place goes to chapter one. it's insane to me that i took one of the shortest episodes and made it into this beast. also yes i have a crush on soldier boy - i don't support his values, he's the kind of man that would be better if he just sat around and looked pretty. I LOVE jensen ackles tho, that's my man - supernatural is my fave so apologies for that longish scene. hopefully you enjoy! asks are always open and lmk ur thoughts <3

I stood in line right behind Marie as Cate pulled her bare hands away from her temples with an apologetic smile, she only smiled and moved out of the line - allowing me to be in front of Cate now.

“Hey.” I said with a sad twist of my lips, Cate mirrored my expression with her sad puppy dog eyes before raising her hands.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Cate’s soft hands gently encased both sides of my face and I felt my power struggle for a few moments before finally surrendering to hers. The combination of feeling actual skin and raw power was dizzying to my senses.

“Remember the past few days.” Cate utters under her breath and an onslaught of memories makes me even more disorientated… but everything makes sense again. All of the strange pieces that I had been missing had been filled.

“Woah.” I sort of stumble out of the lineup and collapse onto the sofa, rubbing my temples through the leather of my gloves.

“Hey you okay?” Jordan asks as they settle down next to me, I crack open my eyelids and smile weakly at him.

“Yeah, just sort of dizzy. I should be fine in a bit.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yup, you wouldn’t mind if I leaned on you for a second would you?” A surprised expression overtakes their face which instantly makes me regret even asking the question.

“You know what forget-”

“No, no it’s okay. I was just taken by surprise is all. Go ahead.” I smiled at him before lying my head on their shoulder. The soft material of his jacket caresses my face and a contented sigh leaves my mouth.

“Thank you.” I don’t notice the giddy smile that appears on Jordan’s face as I settle into the comfort.

We watch as Cate gives Emma her memories back and the spinning in my brain starts to slow down. My powers are getting itchy though and after getting everything back, there was no way in hell I would try to take those pills again. An involuntary shudder runs along the length of my body. Fucking Vought.

“Jesus, thanks. I don’t know if I really wanted to remember all that. I have to go see Sam. Also you’re a cunt.” Emma exclaimed before she walked out of the room.

“Ah young love.” I said, making Gemma snort and Jordan chuckle from beside me.

“So what… Shetty made you do this?” Marie asked as she stood up and started to approach Cate. I patted Jordan’s arm lightly before standing up and wobbling slightly on my feet, making Jordan’s hand fly out and grab my forearm.

“Woah you okay?”

“Uh hmm.” I said as I weakly smiled at them, something felt off.

“Cate, look what you’ve done to Vic. You were in our fucking heads. Why the fuck did you do that?” Jordan asked as he made me lean onto them more.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t-” As much as I loved having Jordan be all hot and protective, they really didn’t have to be like that with Cate.

“Woah guys-” I started to say.

“No, Vic. She didn’t have any fucking right to do that. Look at yourself.” I rolled my eyes before I turned back to the blonde. Cate’s eyes were not just bloodshot, her irises were surrounded by pools of blood.

“Guys…” I started to warn everyone in the room, I understood that expression in Cate’s face - it was all too fucking familiar.

“I thought I was help-” Cate started to collapse, her arm extended towards the bar to find some stability.

“Woah, Cate.” Marie reached out towards her but Cate waved her off as she clutched onto the bar. I pulled away from Jordan, ignoring their protests and made my way to Cate.

“Cate, I need you to breathe.” She was staring at Jordan, Marie and Gemma’s faces with slight panic in her eyes. She started hobbling away from them, leaving their faces exasperated before going over to one of the armchairs.

“Cate! Look at me.” I walked over to her place in the chair, crouching down next to her. My slightly harsh tone made her eyeline turn towards me and I smiled gently at her before placing my gloved hands on her face. “It’s okay.”

I heard a quiet discussion happening behind me and turned to see that Marie had left the room in the same direction that Andre had headed out. Gemma and Jordan stood talking and occasionally shooting glances at me - Jordan’s filled with worry and Gemma’s filled with confusion.

“I just- I can’t do it anymore.”

“Can’t do what, Cate?”

“I- I-” My eyes widened when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she started seizing in front of me. Shit, shit, shit.

“Guys! Help! Help me, please.” Jordan rushed over to me and helped grab Cate. They lowered her down onto the soft carpeting and I watched, helpless, as she continued to convulse. It’s happening all over again. I heard Marie and Andre rush over and kneel down next to Cate.

“What happened?”

“When she pushes too much, it fucks with her head!” Andre exclaimed as he cradled Cate’s head.

“Did any of you learn CPR?”

“Where?”

“At fucking super hero school!”

“VIC! Do that thing you did the other night.” Andre said as he looked up at me with pleading eyes, I felt everyone’s eyes on my panicked face.

“I- I can’t.”

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t?” Andre yelled, making me jump.

“My powers are on the fritz, Andre! When she gave me my memories back- I don’t know how to fucking explain it. Cate’s too fucking strong!” I yelled back, I felt fucking powerless. My powers weren’t going to cooperate this time, I had a strong fucking feeling that if I touched Cate again - I might kill her.

“You did it before!”

“I’ll kill her! I can’t control my powers and I haven’t taken-” My mouth snaps shut before I can finish my sentence. My brain brings back a memory from when my dad first handed me the pills - it’s blurry but it’s there.

“Vicky, you’re going to need to take these now.”

“Why?”

“You want to make your daddy proud right?” I nod quickly and a smirk encases his face.

“Never tell anyone about these though, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Oh my darling girl.”

My body snaps back into reality when Jordan gently shakes my shoulder. I focus on Marie holding her hands in front of Cate with a look of pure concentration on her face.

“Are you okay?” Gemma whispers from beside me.

“Uh yeah. Sorry about that.”

Cate, thank god, stops convulsing. I slip my hand into one of her still ones and Andre leans over her to see if she’s still breathing.

“She’s breathing!” I let out a sigh of relief the same moment basically everyone else does.

“When is she going to wake up?” Jordan stutters out and I lean my head on their shoulder as a hand comes to circle around my own shoulders. Their hand traces circles on my clothed collarbone and the world slows down.

I catch Andre’s eyes from across from me and he is about to open his mouth to hopefully apologize but I just shake my head and start standing up. Jordan realizes what I’m trying to do and pulls their hand away from my shoulder and instead encases my gloved one.

Andre ends up carefully moving Cate’s still, almost too still, body to one of the couches. We watch anxiously as she just lies there.

“Can you hear us? Cate, can you hear us?” Maire asks pleadingly. This was getting to be too much. My empty hand tightens in an effort to ground myself. Fuck.

“Has she ever pushed this much before?” Jordan asks as he squeezes my hand, their obviously worried tone bleeds into his words.

“Who cares? This is what she gets for mind-raping her friends.” My jaw drops as I turn my head to look at Andre.

“What the actual fuck, Andre?” I don’t recognize my friend at all, I understood his anger but this was to a fucking extreme. Right as Andre is about to respond, Cate’s eyes fly open and she disappears with a pop. What the fuck?

“We all saw that, right?” I ask into the now dead silent room.

“I mean I’m pretty high right now, but I think so.” I looked up to see that Dusty had joined our little vigil.

“Hey Dusty.”

“Vic! This is probably the most I’ve seen you in ages.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyways, does anyone know where she went?” Gemma’s voice echoed through the room.

“Uh-” I look back at Dusty who now has his back turned and is looking at the bricks of the house floating away? Huh.

“What the-” Marie starts to ask as the group starts making its way over to Dusty. Of course, Marie starts to venture out first into the forest.

“Right yup let’s just walk through the creepy floating hole.” I add sarcastically but following after her anyways. Jordan let go of my hand but still walked next to me. I found that I actually missed the warmth that their hand had been emanating. God I’m really gone for them, aren’t I?

Sunshine streams through the leaves and gives the whole forest an actually pleasant atmosphere. I twirl around with a confused look etched on my face, before focusing back on the way we came in… only to find Dusty’s house completely gone.

“Ok… this is really fucking weird.” I say as I run a hand through my hair.

“Maybe Cate’s more powerful than we thought.” I turn towards Marie and make a sound assent before walking over to Gemma.

“You okay Gemma? I know this is probably fucking insane and I’m so sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Whoa no, it’s totally fine. I volunteered to help okay? Don’t worry yourself about it.”

“If you’re sure…”

“100 percent.” After my little check in with her I turn back to the group, only to see Andre stomping off into the woods. How much more of an idiot can this man be?

“Andre! Andre, stop! We don’t know where the fuck we are, you can’t just go off into the bloody woods.” I exclaim as I try to catch up with Andre, everyone following after me. I could hear the crackling of the leaves under my boots and the sound of thunder made my nerves jump. Strangely I couldn’t feel my powers, I brought my hand towards my face and realized that my skin wasn’t itching like normal.

What the fuck was going on?

“Caleb? Caleb!” I furrowed my eyebrows and hid behind a random tree along with Andre and the rest of the group.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I looked into the clearing, a woman and a policeman stood arguing in the middle of the fallen leaves.

“Caleb… Caleb is Cate’s brother’s name.” Andre utters and my eyes widen. This wasn’t real. We were in a fucking memory.

“Mommy? Mommy!”

“Holy shit! This is a memory.” Marie utters from beside me and I let out a deep breath before sharing worried glances with Jordan. This was bad.

“I don’t feel safe with her.”

My head snaps back to the scene and realization tickles my brain. So many people in my life had said those exact same words to my face. It didn’t matter that my dad was famous, he was the one who uttered those words for the first time. That phrase has followed me throughout my life. I closed my eyes, hard. Trying to keep the tears at bay as the memory continued to play in front of me.

“Hey!” Fuck! I jumped and swiveled my head around to see… Soldier Boy?

“What are you greasy sack of fuck nuts doing here? Not you, sweetheart.” He looked over at me when uttering the last sentence and sent me a wink, making my jaw drop as Jordan stiffened next to me.

“Soldier Boy?”

“What the fuck?”

“What are you doing in here?” Marie asked as I was just getting over the fact that Soldier Boy winked at me. Okay Vic stop, your childhood crush is showing.

“Uh hi?” I stuttered out and Jordan swiveled to look at me. I could feel their incredulous expression.

“Hi sweetheart. Anyways, to answer your previous question, I’m Cate’s imaginary friend when she was a kid. Boyfriend, really. I taught her how to jerk off…”

The next barrage of words that left Soldier Boy’s mouth left my jaw dropped and an horribly vivid image in my head. Not that I don’t love Cate but UGH.

“It was pretty romantic.”

“Hell yeah brother.” Dusty said as he held up his fist, making me slap his shoulder. “Hey!”

“You fucking deserved that.” Soldier Boy said as he smirked in my direction and I felt a blush start to creep up my neck. Nope, no. He’s not even real. That’s when I felt an arm encircle my waist and pull me into solid warmth. Jordan.

I spied a look up at them and he had a murderous look in their eyes directed at Soldier Boy. Oh. Oh my God. Jordan was jealous. A smile appeared on my face as I focused back on the man standing in front of us.

“I- I’m pretty sure she didn’t like Jonas Brothers, that's all.” I lean around Jordan to look at Andre with a confused expression on my face.

“Dude how is this relevant?” I asked.

“I know you. You’re Cate’s newest little fuckboy. She really loves you… but not to worry - boys come and go but she’ll always come back for some… pillow talk. Which you’re welcome to join anytime.” Soldier Boy said as he winked at me again. Jordan’s hand tightened and an incredulous giggle left my mouth.

“Oh fuck off. You’re literally a Russian agent, you fuck.”

“Andre. Bigger shit going on right now.” Marie said.

“Exactly!”

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” Soldier Boy asked as he looked at us with a calculating expression on his face.

“You were supposedly radicalized by the Russians.” Jordan said in response, their tone was laced with jealous venom.

“Fuck you. I’m not a godless, dickless, fuckwad of a commie. I’m red-blooded. The American kind. Red-white-and-blue red. I can fart “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The last sentence made my nose scrunch up, god I had forgotten how old this man actually was.

“You’re a fucking weirdo, dude.” Andre said, literally the one sentence that he had uttered tonight that actually had some merit.

“Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Go fuck your face.” An incredulous snort left my mouth and I raised a gloved hand to stifle my giggles.

“Ok! Ok! Let’s get back to the point.”

“Yeah, why the fuck are we here?” Gemma asked from where she was leaning on the tree.

“How should I know? Cate wants you in here for some fucking reason but if you don’t figure that out soon you’ll be stuck in here.”

“What?” We all simultaneously exclaim, this situation was getting worse by the fucking minute.

“That wasn’t all that thunder and lightning bullshit.” Soldier Boy adds as the sky flashes gold, making me gulp. “It’s one of Cate’s blood vessels bursting. So if you don’t get out of here before Cate turns into a vegetable then you will all become one with her.”

“Shit!”

“Exactly, so if you want to live, the single most important thing to remember is-” Soldier Boy was interrupted when he was blasted into a pile of black ash when one of those gold lightning rods hit him. Oh shit.

“Oh my god, Soldier Boy is dead.”

“If that’s what happens to her imaginary boyfriend… what will happen to us?” Jordan asks with concern as they start tracing shapes on my arm, not that I was complaining. Touch was something I fucking missed - in any form.

“We should probably go.” I say as my voice strains and shock runs through my spine. Mutters of assent come from the group and we start heading away from the clearing as Jordan pulls me alongside them with his hand clutching mine.

“That guy was a fucking dick right?”

“Only to you, Andre.” I said while rolling my eyes and scoffing.

“Well he was flirting up a fucking storm with you so I can clearly see why you’re disagreeing with me.”

“God will you shut up?” Jordan exclaimed towards Andre, who made a choked sound and looked at Jordan with a bewildered look on his face.

“Everything okay?” I ask as we continue to trek through the leaves and broken branches.

“Just didn’t like how Soldier Boy was talking to you.”

“Hmm really? I thought we weren’t going to make this a ‘thing’.” I uttered with a teasing undertone, a smirk already making its way to my face as I squeezed Jordan’s hand.

“We are having a long talk about that later.”

“Oh really?”

“Hmm.” My laughter fills the space and out of the corner of my eye I can see Jordan’s smile grow.

My everything hurts. It felt like we had been walking for hours, which was weird because we literally were in Cate’s brain. I was somehow able not to lag behind because Jordan was basically pulling me by the hand at this point. Hey don’t blame the supe stamina! Blame my stupid fucking boots.

I kick another branch out of my way before taking a deep breath and soldiering on (putting a bit more energy into the whole situation, not letting go of Jordan’s hand).

“What if Cate is dying in the real world?”

“Like you even care.” I quipped in response to Andre’s question.

“Woah, what gave you that idea?”

“Dude have you been around yourself at all today?”

“OKAY! And I thought Jordan and I had been bad.” Marie intervened, as she tried to mediate whatever fight Andre and I were in. I remembered that even as kids when one of us got mad at the other person we would either explode in large fucking rages or ignore each other for weeks on end.

“God could you bitches slow the fuck down?” I heard Dusty mutter from behind us, making me look back at the brunette who was breathing loudly and leaning against a tree. I chuckle and turn back around only to be greeted by the sight of Cate sitting in some sort of floating window surrounded by wooden panels.

Everyone watched on as the memory with Dean Shetty played out. The memory almost felt like something that could have - and sort of did happen to me. The amount of manipulation that Shetty was able to exercise just because of how horrible Cate’s parents were made my heart ache. My hands clenched harder and harder with the contained anger I was trying to suppress.

A gasp left my mouth when Shetty presented Cate with the flask of pills. They reminded me so much of my own little neon atrocities. Something in my head itched, but it wasn’t my powers. Weird.

The memory suddenly ended and I looked around to find that we were standing in one of God U’s classrooms. A place I had been in just a few days ago.

“I haven’t been in a classroom in years.” I heard Dusty utter as I pulled out one of the wheeled chairs and sat down in between Jordan and Gemma.

I stretch out my fingers in my gloves as I try to pay attention to the scene that was happening in front of me. Luke looked so… alive. It was sort of creepy.

“All the way to the top.” That was when I heard Andre stand up and exhale loudly.

“We- we should leave. I- I can’t be around here.”

“I miss you, man.” Luke’s voice makes us all freeze, I watch as Andre turns around and looks at Luke in pure happiness.

“I-I miss you too. So fucking much.”

“But… you know what? I don’t fucking believe you. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” Andre’s face falls and he takes a step back, I feel my eyebrows furrow and suddenly all the screens in the classroom turn on.

“Andre…”

Each screen begins to show Andre and Cate’s biggest hits. I feel my jaw drop for probably the millionth time today. Andre what the fuck have you done? You don’t sleep with your best friend’s girlfriend. Oh my god, we were so doomed. I start peeling off my gloves as the videos click off and Luke turns back to face us.

“How many times?”

“Uh- I-”

“How many fucking times?” Luke repeats but this time with a much angrier tone. I take off the last of the leather and neatly stack my gloves on top of each other. Gemma turns towards me and looks down at my bare hands and then back up to my face. I just give her a shrug and she nods slightly.

“Andre, you can’t be fucking serious. Was that real?”

“She didn’t make you do it, did she?” Luke asks as Andre just holds a hand up towards Jordan who is now stalking towards him. I pull myself up from my own seat and the cold of the metal almost makes me jump. Jesus my senses were going insane without my gloves on.

“You wanted to do it. All behind my back.”

“I’m-I’m sorry.” Andre stuttered out, making a scoff leave my mouth as I put my ungloved hand on Jordan’s shoulder. They turn towards me and he raises his eyebrows at my hand. I shake my head before pointing to Luke, who is very much starting to flame out.

“Woah, woah, out of my way cunts!” Dusty screams as he flys out of his chair and towards the door. Luke doesn’t hesitate to send a ball of fire towards him which makes him explode in a bloody cloud.

“Oh God, Dusty!” I yell as I push past Jordan as I extend my hand towards Luke’s uncovered face but I realize my mistake when I hear Jordan’s voice.

“I- I can’t switch.” My eyes widen, panic fills my body and then I feel something pull me away from Luke. I turned to Gemma who was now holding my very bare hand in hers. We both look up at each other in surprise.

“Guys! Run, we have to fucking run.” I don’t even venture a glance back towards Luke or my gloves before I start sprinting after Marie. We run through different hallways until we’re suddenly in Brink’s office.

“Fucking hell. Do you think we’re safe now?” I ask as I lean against the TA desk.

“I hope so.” Jordan answers as they turn towards me and smile. I smile giddily back. I can actually touch things holy shit!

“Seriously, Andre? You’re that guy?”

“Hey look, you don’t think I feel like a piece of shit?” Jordan and I both scoff at the same time before I start inching my pinkie towards theirs. “I loved her.”

“Are we just not going to talk about Dusty?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from Andre’s stupid issues.

My attention is drawn away as loud shouting echoes through the closed wooden doors. It was Luke and Brink. I moved away from the desk and followed Jordan as they made their way to the doors. The voices became clearer and almost angrier. I felt a force hit my right shoulder as something barrelled between Jordan and I.

“Hey!” Jordan exclaimed and I was about to voice a similar sentiment when I noticed that it was literally Jordan who had bumped into us. Well, memory Jordan not actual Jordan?

“Oh? Ok.”

“Is Cate in there?” Marie asked as I saw Jordan’s face slowly morph into one of panic.

“No, no this isn’t her memory. It’s mine.”

“How? How the fuck would that happen?” Andre asked as he turned towards us. I just put my hand on Jordan’s shoulder and tried to call them down. He looked devastated.

I turned to look as memory Jordan opened the doors and we followed behind them. Brink was standing in front of a furious looking Luke, holding a syringe in his hand. Oh shit. It felt like the events of the memory played out in slow motion.

I watched as memory Jordan picked up some kind of canister and put it over Luke’s face, making him collapse. A moment later a response team brought in a stretcher and quickly got Luke out of the office.

“What do I always say, huh? Being a hero, it’s not about the glory, it’s about the…”

“Sacrifice.” Jordan muttered and a strange tension appeared in the back of my brain. I had heard that before. Somewhere.

The conversation continued and a little part of my heart broke. Being in the supe business was to be manipulated but this… fucking hell Cate and Jordan deserved better. I watch as Jordan’s face contorts through multiple levels of pain and sadness. I hesitantly put a hand on their shoulder and they put their hand over mine.

“So you knew! You knew Golden Boy attacked Brink before.” Marie said, almost yelling. We both turned to look at her and I was about to open my mouth to defend them when Jordan’s voice cut me off.

“I didn’t- I didn’t know what all that meant.”

“Of course you did.” Out of the periphery of my eye I saw Jordan’s eyes start to well in tears, they moved away from my touch and instead let out a sigh.

“He said he was juicing Golden Boy!”

“And you just believed him.”

“What would you have done?”

“Something, Jordan!” Andre screamed out and I felt my nerves harden.

“Oh like you’re just the perfect saint Andre. Just fucking imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes for a single second.” I exclaimed, sending Andre a harsh glare.

“We could have stopped everything right here.” Memory Jordan’s voice resonated off the now almost completely silent room. I felt fucking helpless. Again. It seemed like a recurring thing today.

“You’re a coward. And you always will be.” I saw tears form in memory Jordan’s eyes which finally caused me to move. I walked up to them and leaned down next to Jordan.

“What do you need?” I asked quietly, almost hesitating to break the silence of the room. Jordan basically lunged at me and I put my arms around them. Clenching my eyes shut I moved a hand up to their hair and started to massage his scalp. Supposedly it was something that was meant to help calm people down. I had never done it or had it done to me so I was going off of pure instinct here.

“Oh shit.” Marie blurted out and I opened my eyes to a hallway lined with doors… and a mural of the woods. Fuck. It all felt a little too familiar.

“Hey Jordan.”

“Hmm, oh.” Jordan left my embrace and looked around the new location, slightly trying to avoid Andre, Marie and Gemma’s eyes.

“This is The fucking Woods.” I stuttered out as I started to massage the inside of my wrists.

“What I don’t get is how we saw my memory, not Cate’s.” Jordan said as we stopped marveling at our surroundings. “It’s like all of our collective shit is blending together.”

“That means bad things for us.” Gemma added as she leaned against the hellish mural. God that thing gave me the creeps. Those little beady eyes seemed to be following my every move.

“How about we talk about your shit, Jordan?”

“Yeah!”

“Marie, Andre, come on!” I exclaimed as the tingle in my head resurfaced. Something was really wrong.

“No, I-I’m sorry okay? I bought into all of Brink’s bullshit and propaganda. I didn’t want to see the fact that he was just like Shetty. Fuck this place! Come on, Vic.” Jordan pulled out one of their hands from their pocket and encased mine before starting to walk down the hallway.

“I’m going to make it right… for Luke.”

“Ow, fuck!” I exclaimed as a sharp pain went through my body. It felt like my brain was being smashed against a cement wall over and over again.

“Vic!” Everyone shouted as everything became blurry. I turned around and looked through the open doorway. And suddenly things started to flood in. I knew these rooms. I knew the fucking mural.

“I-I’m fine. Just a small headache is all?”

“You sure?” I nodded stiffly and turned to look back into the room.

In the room, laying side by side were Luke and Sam. Both hooked up to some kind of machine. As Marie, Gemma and Andre joined us they each let out a gasp.

“What the fuck is going on? What are you fucking doing to me?” Luke yelled out as he sat up instantaneously.

“Hurry.”

“Sam! Sam!”

“Luke! Sam! Fucking stop. Open this door. Open the fucking door.” A familiar voice screamed out, muffled slightly by something. Slipping away from the group I walked over to the only other open door in the hallway.

Peering into the room a scream tore through my body. Lying, tied down like a lamb to the slaughter was me. A fucking muzzle like the one worn by Hannibal Lecter was encasing the lower half of my face.

My natural brunette locks lay messily around memory me as she thrashed and screamed. The first person to reach me was Jordan. I stood frozen with a horrified expression on my face, no longer breathing.

I could distantly feel Jordan shaking my shoulders, the rest of the group soon joining him. But I felt like I wasn’t in my body anymore.

Memories seemed to corrode my very sense of self. Snippets of previous conversations, standing in the middle of a sea of dead people, my dad yelling in my face… all of the fucking experiments.

The only thing that actually seemed to bring me back to my body was the sound of Dean Shetty’s voice ringing like nails on a chalkboard through my brain.

“Oh my God, Cate, please go shut her up!”

“But-”

“It’s probably what’s making Luke worse. Please.”

“Yeah uh okay.”

I watched as the blonde made her way into my grimy little cell and carefully placed just her fingertips to my forehead. Memory me seemed like she was trying to bite Cate but the fucking muzzle stopped her. I-I didn’t feel like that person but she was me. I was her.

“You are going to forget about Luke and Sam. You are going to forget the torture. Please forget.” Cate said the last two sentences in a much lower voice, making memory me’s face instantly calm and Cate made her way out of the cell.

“Vic? Victoria? Are you okay?”

“Andre! What the fuck kind of question is that?” Jordan screamed at Andre before turning to me. They let out a sigh of relief when he realized I was kind of back.

“Vic?”

“Yeah Jordan.”

“What do you need from me?”

“A hug would be nice.”

“Of course, darling. Come here.” I weakly smile and put my arms around them, letting my face (which was still somehow devoid of tears) burrow into the soft fabric of their shirt.

“Victoriaaaa. Vickyyy. Viccc.” I hear the sound of my name coming out of my own mouth, well memory me - who no longer had a muzzle muffling her words. I take a deep breath, inhaling Jordan’s calming scent before pushing myself up and walking into the cell.

“You called?”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t totally break. I mean look at me, we are cuckoo crazyyy.”

“Victoria, we are not.”

“Oh really? I thought you saw my little exchange with your dearest friend Catey.”

“Victoria…”

“Aww you care about the little supe don’t you? Even after you realize everything that she did to you.”

“She had her reasons…”

“Did you ever even think about the fucking time gaps in your memory? You’ve been in this damn cell for months now. Dearest dad put you in here and left you to fucking die.”

“And yet here I am.”

“Yes, there you are. Still sucking up to the fucks that run the school. You are stronger than you think you are, Victoria.”

“I-”

“No more time to talk. Need to go burrow back into your subconscious. I really wouldn’t want us to die.”

“Us?”

“You and me, are the same person but…” Before the girl could speak anymore the room dissolved into an office space and everyone was left to stand in front of Shetty and Brink.

“Vic, if you-” Marie started to say before I turned to look at her.

“Look can we just not talk about it? Shit happened. It’s in the past. We move on.”

“Victoria…”

“God, Andre no. I don’t want to hear from you right now.” I exclaim before I feel a strong weight around my shoulders. It’s lighter than Jordan… it was Gemma.

“Hey.”

“Hey. I’m really fucking sorry.”

“Same, my dad is worse than I thought.” I say as I let out a deprecating chuckle. Fuck me.

“Vic…”

“Yeah I know.” I feel Gemma’s weight disappear before I’m pulled into Jordan’s side. Their arm feels safe. They just feel safe.

During my tiny spiral I didn’t realize that the memory had ended and now we were standing in front of a white door. We weren’t even standing in the office anymore… instead I felt myself being slightly dragged towards the door.

“Wait, we can’t- I know this place.”

“Marie…” She opens the door and we are suddenly greeted with a murder scene. Marie’s parents. Shit.

I zone out once again, everything feels so numb. Like the world is sort of foggy. I watch distantly as Marie talks to her sister and then randomly starts screaming at Cate? God, smarten the fuck up Victoria. No time for your little breakdowns right now.

The next thing I know we’re back in Cate’s childhood bedroom and I’m staring right at her. Her eyes are red from crying and her hair is kind of a mess.

“You shouldn’t be here!”

“But we are. We’ve been trying to wake you up.” Marie says, trying to keep her tone as calm as possible. Jordan still has their arm around me and I cuddled into his side.

“Look, you can all go now, I’ll let you wake up.”

“Come on, Cate. Let’s all just wake up and get the fuck out of here.” Jordan said with a hurried tone.

“Yeah, Cate. Come on. We can go binge a bunch of Soldier Boy movies if you want?” I finally manage to say in a low voice.

“I’ll join!” Gemma adds.

“Fucking hell, Vic how are you still nice to me after everything you know?”

“Cate, it’s fine. I forgive you okay? I. forgive. you. We’re all a little fucked up okay? You’ve shown us that.” I sent her a strained smile as energy seemed to be zapped from my very soul. I slightly lose my footing, and instead try to hold onto Jordan’s arm for balance.

“I don’t want to wake up.” My heart dropped, the first tear of the night finally slipped from my eyes and I quickly wiped it away. The fog was starting to leave the sides of my eyes.

“No. Fuck that. Cate, you don’t get to be selfish here. It doesn’t fucking matter what you want.”

“Andre… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t get to be sorry, it doesn’t cut it. Do you think you can just stay here and forget all your fucking problems? Fucking Victoria just figured out her entire life has basically been a lie. So, fuck you.”

“Andre… don’t you dare use my problems to state your fucking point but other than that I agree. Cate you have to come with us. We’re in this together.” My voice started out with a passionate amount of anger before it mellowed into something softer.

“You fucking burrowed into my brain. You manipulated all of us. And- and I know you had your reasons and I wish you had done something different. Because I fucking love you and I wish I didn’t but I do, even if I won’t trust you ever again. You have a choice now, you finally have a fucking choice. So wake the fuck up.”

A moment later I feel myself on the carpet, my gloves are back on my hands and the itchy feeling is back. It’s almost welcoming. Then it all comes flooding back. God my entire fucking life. I bring my hand up to feel the skin of my lower face. It’s almost like I could feel the fucking muzzle still on me.

I push myself off the floor and look around at the face’s of my friends. I actually had friends now, no wonder I never had them before - being basically stuck in a torture chamber for months on end. I watch as Cate looks at Andre, completely defeated by his anger. I turn to look at Jordan and find them already looking at me. They smile weakly and I answer back with a pained expression before a few tears start falling from my eyes. Fuck.

“Vic, come-” I walk over to him and just hug them as sobs start ripping through my vocal cords. I feel them shift and let out a weak chuckle before looking up at her joyous expression.

“We’re back.” Everyone lets out a collective gasp of relief as I try to pull away from Jordan, only for them to pull me into a one sided hug. I’m careful not to touch any of their exposed skin… the one good thing about that whole dream situation was that I could actually touch her.

A moment later, the door bursts open and Emma walks in with Sam in tow.

“Oh thank God you guys are still here.”

“Holy shit you actually found him.” A memory seems to resurface the moment Sam’s eyes meet mine.

“Ok favorite movie?” I ask through the little crack in the wall. I huddled against the cold tile and slightly moved the chains around my hands.

“Waterworld.”

“Huh? Really? Never watched it.”

“WHAT? We need to.”

“Great, definitely scheduling a movie night soon.”

“You bet your ass.”

“Oh, we should invite Luke.”

“He’ll probably just want to watch Star Wars.”

“I mean can you blame him? It’s one of the best movie franchises out there.”

“Ok fine, Vics. I agree with you.”

“Yes I finally did it, Sammy. You owe me 10 dollars.”

“What!”

I’m brought back to reality only to find multiple people trying to hold Sam back from getting to Cate. My eyes widened and I was almost tempted to jump into the fray when I remembered our secret signal.

“Sammy, white rabbit.” He instantly stopped struggling and turned towards me with an awed expression on his face.

“Vics.”

“Sammy.” He rushes towards me as shouts echo from the group but instantly stop when he engulfs me in a hug.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too. God you look so fucking old.” I said as I pulled away from him and got a good look at his features.

“That’s what happens with time. So you remember now?”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“Fuck, Vics. I’m sorry.”

“Hey I’m sorry about Luke. You know you two were like brothers to me.”

“Wait- you’re? Huh?” Emma’s expression morphed through different stages of confusion.

“Oh right we should probably catch you up Emma. Well I just kind of found out that I was down there. The Woods with Sam… and Luke.”

“You mean that- how did you not remem- Oh Cate…”

“Yup.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry.” I shrug as everyone starts to gather around a nervous looking Cate.

“Look, I know that you might never trust me again but I want to try.” Cate said as Sam continued to look at her with a murderous expression on his face.

“We know that so why don’t you start by telling us what The Woods is?” Marie asked with a reassuring smile on her face.

“They were using Sam to augment Luke’s powers and Vic too. Actually I’m not entirely sure why you were in there in the first place.” Cate said as she swiveled over to me. “They were doing all kinds of weird stuff to them.”

“Not just us. There are other kids down there as well.” Sam added.

“Wait, so what were they doing to you down there?”

“Bad shit.” I said at the same time as Sam.

“Shetty hates us.” Sam added.

“She was directing it all.” Cate said, agreeing with Sam.

“So she has to be the answer. Remember, there is no going back if we do this.” Marie said, with a slightly ominous tone lacing her voice.

“I don’t have much else to lose.” I say cheerily, making Cate cringe back and Jordan look over at me again. This time with a pretty concerned look on their face.

“I saw we do this thing. They need to pay.”

so... yeah. hopefully u enjoyed that little insight into vic's past. if you've seen my post about her powers lowkey being sentient - that's who was kind of talking to her - like it's her but it's not? ANYWAYS that was really fun to write for some reason, I got a bunch of inspo yesterday. lmk if u want to be added to the taglist and hopefully everything is still pretty canon compliant and makes sense lol.

taglist: @neapolitantoebeans @scorchedfangirl @losers-club6 @vvyuqi @bubblebuttwade @fix5idiots @ponypickle @nellyboosworld

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lucybronzey · 2 years

Note

Could you write a Joseph one where you are part of Stranger Things cast but unlike Joseph, you are since season 2. Then, during the production of Season 4 you started dating and plays Eddie's love interest on the show, and durings the tapings of Eddie's fate you give an emotional performance that looks like it was real, Joseph needs to comforts you. But after the episode was released, you receive a lot of praises for your perfomance and during an interview with him,Maya Joe and Natalia, you reveal the behind that scene and everyone starts to realize that there is something going on between the two of you (the only people who know about you two are the ST cast), and during the red carpet you make it official that you are together and with that breaking the internet.

sorry if it got too long and kinda complex

pairing: joseph quinn x fem!reader

author’s note: this is an amazing one! thank you for that! i think i changed it a bit because my dyslexia started to block my mind and sight a bit so there’s little alteration to the request, i’m really sorry about it! if you want me to change it, please let me know as soon as possible! other than that, please enjoy and feedback is always welcomed in my inbox (please do send some, i would appreciate it a lot)!

word count: 3K (!!)

warnings: strong language, mention of blood, death, toxic relationship, lowercase letters

please do not translate, copy/paste or take credit/ownership of any of my stories! if you do so, under the copyright law, i’m allowed to take you to the court and prosecute you.

your character on stranger things, victoria wheeler, lived through another season and visit to the upside down. you were excited that your character could play for the fourth season as well. you knew that the fans adored you and your role - some of them found her as a comfort character due to her characteristics and personality, and some believed that your character had a huge role to play in the upside down world.

the new season came with new air - characters, storylines, production, relationships, deaths and many other aspects. your wheeler role had been assigned with a love interest this season - eddie munson who was played by a british actor called joseph quinn. you had met joseph before already during your lamda school days and started dating literally before the production of season 4 as you both had met during the “make up” film production where you were one of the directors and both felt like you wanted to be more than friends. seeing him playing your love interest sounded very fun, interesting and totally something new to you because you had never had to kiss someone in front of the cameras, but it did not feel weird kissing your own boyfriend which you and joe thought was funny and adorable.

as time moved on, you, joseph and other stranger things cast started to roll on with the scenes where the bunch of you had to go to the upside down to burn down vecna’s body, your wheeler character had to stay with joe and gaten’s dustin and eddie roles. victoria wheeler was devoted to saving and never giving up for eddie munson. but unfortunately, the duffer brothers wanted to kill off one of the fan's favourite characters and just go with it, although they had an idea of sparing eddie’s life although the brothers thought it was just boring. when victoria had to go and save eddie from the demobats, they were already eating his pure flesh and clothes on him which made you scream even more. although the demobats were added with technology afterwards, you still had to play it out that they were actually real and eating eddie’s skin.

you “shoot” at the invisible bats to save eddie and dustin limps around with a shiv-like knife in his hand. as the demobats out of nowhere suddenly drop to the ground, you throw away your weapon and run to hold eddie’s body that had been absolutely distorted and bitten. you ripped off a piece of clothing and wrapped it around his damaged body to stop any more blood but eddie pushed your hand away.

you were absolutely devastated and crying your eyeballs out, this was real you.

“what are you doing?” you had to act out your emotional outburst.

“it’s not going to help, v-vic,” joe’s character coughed out more blood, a tear fell down on his cheek.

“please don’t do this, eddie! p-please don’t leave me,” you shouted, placing kisses on his lips and forehead which was covered in goo and blood-like liquid. dustin was still trying to tie the ripped cloth while you were begging eddie to keep holding on and looking at her.

this scene really broke you inside even though it was all fictional but you knew that every death hit you hard. your, joe and gaten’s emotional performance made the whole production team applaud but you were still kind of living through the scene as it took more time to come back down to earth. you thanked everyone while rushing back to your trailer. you wiped your tears away with a make-up remover wipe. joseph had followed you back to your trailer as well and he wrapped his hands around your shoulder to ease your sadness and wipe away the tears. you kissed his hands and placed your head on them. then joseph turned your chair with you, seeing the shattered emotion on your face, he cupped your face into the shape of his hands. he kissed you all over your face and stated:

“it’s just acting, my darling, i’m still here and you gave such a brilliant performance! there’s nothing to cry over,” joe’s soothing voice made your heightened emotions calm down and you finally were able to look at his beautiful, brown eyes. you gave a little chuckle to him, responding:

“i guess i took your character’s death literally into my heart!” you wanted to laugh it off because you felt quite embarrassed now but joseph chuckled as well and said:

“let’s get this makeup and costume off so we can go and get something to eat. we both deserve it,” joe removed his hands from your shoulders and quickly gave a peck on your lips.

the week after you, joe and all other stranger things cast had finished shooting the scenes for season four, volumes one and two, you and joe flew back to london where first initially went back to your flat but joe initiated that you moved into his apartment which you agreed with. you were excited for this point in your lifetime because the last time you thought of moving in was with your ex but this shite never happened. you trusted joe and he had to earn your trust.

one of the opening nights of the new season happened to be at leicester square in london where you and joe both were obviously invited to. you were shitting yourself because it has been a long time for you to walk on a red carpet and give interviews. your stylist had chosen out the most gorgeous floral dress and heels which you absolutely fucking hate wearing. your stylist, blake, gave you a worrying look and they knew that you hated this but they said that it will be only the red carpet and after the interviews and all kinds of shits, you could wear sneakers or something else under the dress. mr quinn could not take his eyes from you as he looked up and down at you, being in total awe. in joe’s mind and eyes, you were the star of the night. you pouted, giving him the puppy eye look and mouthing him “you’re being too cute”. you reached your arms to get joe to you but blake was quick to throw these hands away.

“aye, later! you two lovebirds can spend the time together in a moment but i want to get you done before you fly away from this room,” blake powdered the last spots on your face and added highlight on your cheeks, nose and upper lip. joe giggled, taking a seat next to you and silhouette the lines of flowers on your dress. you adored him admiring every curve and line of skin on your body, he made you feel comfortable, confident and safe. joseph could never put you through any pain or misery.

blake finally brushed their last brushes on you so they could finally look at you and take some shots for their instagram. you told them to capture some shots with joe as well. mr quinn stood up next to his breathtaking girlfriend aka you and placed his arm around your waist to hold it gently. you closed your eyes for a mere second whilst joe placed his lovely lips softly on your cheek so he wouldn’t ruin blake’s masterpiece. blake cackled, cheering “wowza”, “amazing”, “show-stopping”, “brilliant” - all the uplifting positive adjectives you can think of. when they were finally done, you and joe were ready to go downstairs. your hotel was basically next to the leicester square so you did not really have to run or rush there.

“you look absolutely heartstopping, my gorgeous lady,” joe took another glance at you, cherishing every feature of you.

“and you look doubtlessly handsome and elegant, my good-looking gentleman,” you took hold of his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, the golden minimalistic rings touching his skin.

the red carpet was full of so many individuals - fans behind the metal fence where you and joe had given quick shots; a number of photographers screaming and shouting the names of the cast, including you and joe. you knew that you and joseph weren’t really exclusive with your relationship yet but you played it off really well. multiple media sources were outpouring praise for your performance which made you a bit confused as they have not really seen everything yet, maybe bits and bobs from the trailers. anyways, you moved on. joe was motioning to you to join the interview with him, maya and natalia. the interviewer was all so smiley and cheeky which was lovely to see.

“here i am with maya hawke, natalia dyer, y/n y/l/n and our new star, joseph quinn! before we start with the interview, i just want to say how amazing and wonderful you all are and look!”

you looked at the ladies and nodded at joseph. you all answered with a unanimous thank you. the interviewer went on with her questions which seemed and sounded quite long to you. you shifted from one leg to another as your legs started to tire out from wearing the heels for way too long. furthermore, joe noticed that and looked at you, his facial expression asking if you are doing alright, you nodded affirmatively and took your glance back to the interviewer.

“we heard that victoria wheeler finally got a love interest this season which has been very prolonged by the fans,” the interviewer placed the microphone under your nose.

“oh yeah, i think the fans have been waiting for this a long time as they have been theorising for years and years but now they got a new love interest and a new character which i believe is a mega win,” you giggled, so did joe.

“and you, mister quinn, how did it feel playing the new character but then suddenly die at the end of the season?”

joe laughed, taking a quick glimpse at you:

“well, it’s been an absolute pleasure to play a character like eddie munson. unfortunately yeah, the duffer brothers made this decision and i’m not allowed to the writers’ room so i can’t do anything about it.”

“can we just talk about the absolute heartbreaking scene of y/n’s character and how she is strongly onto him not to lose him,”

“i mean, what is there to even talk about?” joe waves with his arms. “it’s an emmy award-worthy performance right there!”

you turned your head to joe again and were speechless because his praising took all your words out from you. maya took her phone out and show some exclusive behind-the-scenes shots from her phone.

“if you look closely, you can actually see how much energy, emotion and passion y/n put in there,” maya commented while holding her phone tightly so it wouldn’t fall on the carpet. you couldn’t really hear anything that was coming out from the speaker but you had memorised everything from that specific scene. as the clip ended, the interviewer could not stop clapping her hands. you bowed down gracefully and were blushing with all the praise and appreciation you were getting from joe and the other castmates. you really did not think it was any award-worthy because you were just doing your job and you can the best performance you could.

the interviewer added:

“i could see and feel some loving unity in this scene between you two and more than something else,” she was pointing at you and joe. you did not think this would be the realisation point to someone that you and joseph were together. maybe it was for the best. you didn’t really give a shit about the media outbursts or what fans would think even if their support meant a lot to you but it was your and joe’s personal space and it needed to be respected. you and joe both studied each other’s looks and came on terms that you both have to agree on doing this and be alright with it. joe’s physical touch on your back was his assurance and yours was holding his hand in the back.

“yes, we do have an actual undividedness between us and it has been going out for a while. we will appreciate all the support and respect but everything negative will be upheld and dealt with,” you maturely handled this successfully and joe’s dimples appeared out with his adorable smile.

“that’s very wonderful and i wish you both all the best,” she said nicely. maya and natalia were clapping like little children because they had been knowing this for ages as well but both of them were really grateful and happy for you. you thanked the interviewer by shaking her and said goodbye to her. you, joe, maya and natalia made your way inside the odeon building in the square. you quickly changed your shoes from the feet-crushing heels to slip-on vans your manager had taken out for you. you blew a kiss at her and skipped your way smoothly back to joe’s side.

“y/n, i love you dearly so much. you handed this absolutely perfect!” joe held onto your hand, french kissing it gently.

“joseph, you mean the world to me, even the stars, moon, sky, other planets and galaxies that are out there - my love for you is endless!” you were finally able to kiss him on the lips, not caring about what other people think around you. all other stranger things cast members were aware of your and joe’s relationship, it was not something new to them.

“i really don’t want to rip off this dress, but it is coming off later on when we are back,” joe smirked, giving you the idea of what was on his mind. you nudged with your finger on his upper arm, as your response to this.

“joseph quinn, you silly twat,” you laughed, quickly shushed by your manager as there were people on the stage already. “i will throw that suit of yours off from you when we get back.”

“it’s a deal, mi’lady.”

after the premiere and whatever happened in the hotel during the night, your phone was just buzzing with notification sounds. it was like mayhem was about to start. you looked at it and the majority of the text messages were from your manager, the cast members' group chat and your parents.

manager: “looks like someone is up for an emmy! also, way to go with your announcement!”

the cast members group chat: “you all looked amazing tonight!”, “oh my god, i’m so drunk”, “bitch better have my money”, “hallelujah, look at those headlines: stranger things cast y/n y/l/n is the ultimate star of this scene!”, “what the fuck is going on guys? where are you?”, “why is london so big”, “aye look the lovebirds came out in the news whey whey!!!”, “y/n and joe must be in the bed already doing some adult stuff or they just really already sleep idk”, “i’m telling you all, london is fucking brilliant! i wish i could live here! probably need to ask y/n or joe if i can move into their house!”, “jesus christ, my mum said that millie and his boyfriend looked lovely like everyone else”, “[a video of noah dancing]”

and you could imagine what else was in this chat. the cast members pretty much got shitfaced last night after the premiere. you and joe were honestly exhausted.

your parents’ text messages were pretty much the same but the different language gave other vibes:

“y/n, a lot of congratulations from me and [your stepdad’s name]! your brothers watched all of the interviews as well and i’m glad they had subtitles on because it helps them to learn english quicker and better! if you have time or wake up, give us a little video call! we love you very much!” your mum’s message was something you loved reading because you were terrified she will put off the relationship thing.

your dad’s message was a bit shorter:

“well done, y/n! Glad you’re doing well. Would love to talk with the guy, Joe was his name, right? Talk to you later.”

in some way, you dreaded the way what connotations and feelings your dad gave off because he never understood why you had to go to the uk and live there but you knew that he felt proudness at the same time.

and you didn’t even bother with the headlines because you received them from your manager if they started to appear in the news outlets. you had only one thing that your manager knew you hated and it was “the sun” newspaper. she had made a pact and given a promise she will never send, read and/or interact with that outlet. anything that was right-wing-related, it was completely off the charts.

your manager had messaged one headline already and it was from the guardian which was a review of the season:

“stranger things season 4 finale review - powerful, emotional, yet a bit rushed at the end by the writers. we would have wanted more.” and at the end, four stars. the manager had made a brief summary about it - it praised your and joe’s chemistry in the show, talking about the last scene and how it was emotionally connected between you two. in the end, they had hinted you both were indeed together as well and it was a very well-played scene by both of you and gaten. they were hoping to get more films and shows from you both.

#mine #read #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn oneshot #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn smut #requested

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ftm-megamind · 1 year

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some general Chad/Ryan headcanons!!

their favorite things abt each other - i think Chad really loves Ryan's smile, like a genuine smile, not a forced one, just an actual happy smile. and Ryan mostly smiles like that because of Chad which makes him even more ecstatic!! and also Ryan's irony and sense of humor in general

as for Ryan, he definitely loves the sorta "hidden" side of Chad (him being really romantic and clingy or sensitive emotionally in general, but also really smart and witty); that usually surfaces when they're alone and they can feel comfortable, and definitely Chad's eyes (they're very expressive i imagine!!)

in class, they probably pass a ton of notes to one another, or when they sit together they just write to each other on a piece of paper and giggle about it (mostly something they find funny - like something in the workbook or something the teacher said) and sometimes they're so hysteric they try so hard not to laugh that they cry

and also when something outrageous or absurd happens they look at each other like at the cameras in the office (if you know what i mean???)

i imagine Ryan is pretty insecure about playing sports because of how he was treated (read: experience with homophobic guys that were so mean that he just gave up whatever sport he was doing, probably baseball) but then when he plays Chad is smitten (lets face it he loves sports and he probably finds the way Ryan pitches or shoots a hoop borderline poetic)

Chad is probably shy to sing but when he does his voice is really beautiful and he puts his heart in it and Ryan is just :heart eyes:

their dream dates - ROLLER SKATING TO DISCO MUSIC 100% AND THEN GETTING MILKSHAKES AFTERWARDS

but also driving somewhere far at night, listening to mixtapes which they made for one another and stopping to look at the stars or maybe dance a little bit under the night sky :)

and also karaoke

Chad had to take a lot of time to come out to the group i think, just because he was a little worried after all

so when they were official and Chad was so happy and excited to announce it, everyone just told them that they been knew, because i mean... what kinda friends hold hands and look at each other with dreamy smiles

also Sharpay's approach to Chad.

at first sharpay was very hostile towards Chad (in a protective way, she just said stuff like "if you break my brother's heart i'll ruin your life") but as time went by and the more Ryan told Sharpay about how wonderful Chad is she warmed up

i think they talk sometimes about the kardashians episodes

and maybe when Sharpay goes shopping she even invites Chad and makes him try on certain clothes, and proceeds to buy them for him, because "if you want to date my brother you have to dress properly"

gabi is defintely a big ally and stands up for Chad and Ryan when needed, and so does Troy, except he just doesn't grasp the concept of being gay, much less HATING someone for being gay. and it took him so long to figure out that there's something going on between Chad and Ryan. Gabriella had to explain to him that Ryan didn't want to steal Troy's best friend all for himself, he just wanted to date him

gabi and ryan are DEFINITELY besties. i mean it was literally shown in hsm2

they frequently hang out and do each others' nails and watch some cheesy romcoms and gush about Chad and Troy

and also they both sit on the girlfriend row and attend all of their boys' practices and gossip so much

as for Chad and Troy... Chad talks about Ryan more than Troy talks abt Gabi (impressive)

they definitely had bro nights since like. forever. but after the lava springs baseball incident Troy noticed that Chad is sometimes distracted by texting Ryan and he would often go on and on about how amazing Ryan is. and troy of course didn't get it and had the "ok but its our sleepover" approach, and he was honestly a bit jealous

Chad had to tell him that "no Troy hes my boyfriend."

so Troy is like OOOOOH and since he's heard so much about Chad's significant other, he asks whether he can tell Chad more about Gabi, and Chad of course says yes and Troy is smiling like a little boy (probably the first time Chad's seen him so head over heels and displaying it fully)

im sure they giggle together a bit too

and they play dumb games like "3 things i like most about them" or something

prom time!!! before everything, Ryan took Chad shopping and bought them both matching suits

and Chad surprised ryan with a corsage the color of Ryan's suit, and when Ryan saw it he probably cried a little bit because he quite literally experienced the teenage dream of going to prom with the love of his life AND getting a corsage

when they got to the party they were both a little nervous at first and had to take a little break, so they went outside and watched the stars together

and they promised each other to be together forever, and they planned their future, like Chad picking a uni that's close to juilliard so they could see each other as often as possible

then after graduating they decided they want a cozy apartment in new york and travel around the world, then of course get married when it would get legalized, adopt a kitty and all of this while still being best friends with Troy, Gabi, Kelsi, Tay and everyone else

and then they probably had some smoochy time but eventually got back inside and danced the night away

bonus: chad being stupid but in a way that he sees Taylor and Kelsi giggling together and acting very obviously gay and he's like "oh i didn't know they were friends!! seems like they're pretty close :))" (clueless)

#hsm #high school musical #chyan #hsm chad #hsm ryan #ryan evans #chad danforth #chad danforth x ryan evans #chad x ryan #this is pretty much taken straight out of my dms with a friend when we were sharing out takes #hi clifford if you're reading this :)

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athousandbyeol · 8 months

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discussion #10 (only friends): topboston's car scene is proof that mew IS top's ultimate weakness [episode 3 recap]

it was devastating. that car scene. but aside from the hot and steamy exchange topboston shared in the now-broken car, there are a few things i want to point out in episode 3 (in general), and also the important topboston scene that is the start of top and boston's downfall.

this post was written right after i woke up. therefore, i apologise for the incoherence.

as always, please take my discussion posts with a grain of salt.

let's begin.

mew could've saved top from a (destined) rebound of insecurity

i think mew could've prevented the topboston car sex from happening if he let top stay the night, or at least let him in his room for a while. because we know top was willing to go to lengths just to be the best version of himself to mew. he was willing to change and serve mew whenever he could.

i think, at this point, top's feelings for mew have grown into something quite complex and profound, but his approach is somewhat hesitant and a bit forceful (?) as he insists mew is his boyfriend even though they haven't gone official, especially since mew said they 'aren't boyfriends yet.' nonetheless, it's sad to see top's persistence is only valid when he's trying to prove a point to everyone else but mew. he tried showing this 'mew's my boyfriend'' agenda to mainly, ray, his sole opponent, the trigger of top's insecurity and fear.

however, i also believe, along the line, mew has developed trust in top, possibly thinking top might've become a better person and sensed top's behavioural change (mainly sincerity) after they spent more time together. the silent disco scene was very crucial as the lyrics are a foreshadowing to many things: 1) mew isn't the good guy we (the audience and the friend group, top included) perceived him to be (he didn't sing some parts of the song, will be explained after this), and 2) top's death, even though i despise entertaining the idea there will be main character death in p'jojo's works, instead of thinking of this as literal death, i want to believe (for now), it's the 'death' of top's egoistic/confident/brash personality and his previous lifestyle. at the end of the drama, he might no longer be the villain as he finally accepted and embraced the better side that mew helped top discover.

sidetrack: a foreshadowing of topmew's future dynamic?

top sings this line;

this line;

and this line;

mew sings only this line (sorry because this screenshot isn't doing the scene justice);

and topmew sing this line together;

who's the he in this context? i don't have the slightest idea. it might be the 'new' top, or it's just mew finding/taking comfort in celibacy again (i wrote a prediction post for every pairing's ending here if you're interested to read it).

anyway, this is something we have to keep in mind. the foreshadowing in this scene alone is INSANE. but i regress by saying they're the absolute cutest and fluffiest doofus in this scene. top was having so much fun with mew and vice versa. they're enjoying each other's company. the smile on top's face was so bright, and the glint in his eyes was so vibrant. top looked sincerely happy with mew, and i like that a lot. //yet this scene teared me up when i was retrieving the screenshots. it broke me again. they could've been so happy without anything else coming their way. :( can't my babies be happy for once? goodness.

discomfort and distrust; top lost the battle with himself

in the car, top looked queasy. he was anxious from the small talk he had with boston in the kitchen. and he projected that frustration to ray as he insisted on taking his boyfriend home. in one way or another, top might not want mew to mingle with ray any longer, especially since mew was a bit tipsy and he was afraid that mew and ray would do something more than just acts of friendliness. however, top didn't save himself from the cunningness of boston's trap as he thought he had things under control.

again, as i mentioned in many of my discussion posts, top takes immense pride in himself and he won't let anyone topple that ego of his because he's the fcuking top tanin- everyone bowed down to him and worshipped him because of his impeccable skills in bed.

side note: this truly breaks my heart because it seems everyone only sees top as one thing: a sex God. that stranger (i don't want to address him by his name because i'm just very petty) who walked to top and freaking said all those bullshits in front of mew— in my eyes, top appeared guilty almost, and uncomfortable for letting mew witnessed and listened to 'the real' top from a stranger that once accompanied his sleepless night.

top was fidgety and tried to invert mew's attention elsewhere, not on him—

—which is ironic, considering he always enjoyed the attention/interest people have in him. but with mew, it's always different.

side note (2): again, why the hell does everyone think they know top better than he knows himself? this somehow shows top's struggle of understanding/determining/differentiating his truest identity as people only perceive him as a pleasure-giver and NOTHING more. what people say tends to get into our heads, and it's not weird if top believes that he's just this and nothing else.

but mew helps him see that he's capable of making mew happy, of taking care of mew and being the best version of himself; this assumption is waiting to be proven when top says, "but with mew, i just want to make you as happy as possible." it looks like top has found a purpose in life— he wants to make mew happy. he wants the person he loves to be happy. //that's so heartbreaking just to think of it...

back to the car scene, i don't know how the hell boston got that video of mewray (possibly) kissing, but that was just a nominal and lowly move from boston.

that was disgusting (insert the lee minho meme), and it showed just how evil boston is. he didn't care if mew and ray were his friends or whoever, as long as he got what he wanted— top's attention/trust/d*ck— he was willing to backstab his so-called-friends. he really used the one thing top was afraid of— the truth behind mewray's closeness— to manipulate top.

additonally, as mew had this vision of top in mind (confident, self-centred, etc), top also had this image of mew in mind (nice, helpful, etc). i guess he had always seen mew as the kind/naive/innocent type, especially since he wore that white wristband (a potent indication that mew was never really interested in romantic relationships and anything messy)—

—the first time they met. so top was afraid of the allegations coming true— perhaps mew wasn't a virgin, after all. it was all a lie. was mew lying to him all along?

notably, this also didn't come from mew's mouth— his virginity.

it's always the topic that BOSTON and mew's friends (chueam, i love you, but this shouldn't be a concern to you, really) brought up, showing just how insecure he was in that one thing mew STILL possessed, a charm that lured top into wanting to have a romantic/steady relationship with mew and ignored boston's constant cry of convincing top 'they are the same'. and how contradicting? boston said himself— mew is a 'sweet' virgin (retrieved from episode 1 part 1). so the video he showed to top can possibly be edited. //if it's true, fcuk you, boston. fcuk you.

when he saw the clip, top asked when it happened, and boston answered 2 years ago. here, we can already draw a conclusion that (if it was legit), it happened ONLY ONCE, and it wasn't a recurring thing because, a throwback to ep 1, mew clearly said, "i'm not someone like boston."

if mew was boston, it would've been more than just once— whatever mew was proclaimed to do with ray. but we know mew is a man of his own. he has always been so comfortable with celibacy. however, top's judgement was rather clouded and bugged because 1) he didn't trust mew fully (as mew didn't trust him previously), 2) he was insecure because mew might still choose ray over him, and 3) the idea of mew doing it with ray while being in this undefined relationship with top was bruising his ego/pride. so he allowed boston to do his way with top, because top felt he was losing control of himself. and the only thing that could help top regain that power was through boston.

(he lost the battle with himself. really. it was just top and the demons in his head. the devils won. top gave in. again, fcuk you, boston.)

in this post, i mentioned that boston was always susceptible and open to top. he liked it when top caved into him. but the idea was top has always been using/thinking that boston could help him retrieve composure because boston was so easy to get— boston was always ready to be controlled and handled by top. but, when top met mew, he was interested and determined to win mew over becaue he was tired of 'people who already knew too much in bed.' and always, this was the sole reason of boston's anger and annoyance— mew has something desirable that boston no longer possessed— virginity/decency.

so top resorted to boston because he couldn't take the confirmation that mew— the person he was starting to (genuinely) like— wasn't the person he had in mind. so the car scene is proof that yes, mew is top's ultimate weakness. and in episode 3, it wasn't about mew manipulating top or anything; it's boston using mew as a tool to convince and influence top into believing that mew isn't who top believed he was. boston played with top's only weakness— mew.

however, top could've stayed. he could've put a stronger fight. i think the old top— the confident top— would insist on taking mew home. he wouldn't back away this easily (throwback to ep 1 when mew said he couldn't do this with top, but top said they didn't have to know each other to have sex. after that, he kissed mew again to keep the mood going, but mew pushed him and stopped top from continuing).

side note: i think top really wanted to stay because he knew what would happen if he went to boston. but mew said he was fine and top respected mew. he didn't want to argue or make mew unhappy. mew was his priority, and he abided by the boundaries set in this relationship. this has already opened up a new horizon to us; this is what top could be if he's allowed to have a morsel of true love. he trusted mew (although it had wavered) and went to boston.

top was known to be persistent, but he gave in so quickly when mew said he was fine alone. looking back at this, i believe now that top really likes mew. that's why this killed him— the idea of mew having a secret relationship with ray behind top's back.

additionally, it breaks my heart after witnessing the hurt in top's eyes once boston leaned closer and kissed his neck. he was on the verge of crying. he seemed a bit lost, helpless and hopeless. i guess at that point, top was trying to think wisely, to make a final judgement/say to the ideas he had in mind and the verdict(s) boston showed him. he was trying to hold onto that thin slither of hope that it wasn't true because mew couldn't have done that, could he?

but i guess top didn't consider or remember mew saying so blatantly, "i'm not like boston." because it's true— mew is never boston. unlike boston, who's insecure and pretty much volatile and a narcissist, mew is empathetic, understanding, kind and has his own set of flaws, but rather a decent human being. he's so different from boston. sadly, top couldn't differentiate that stark disparity, that one thing top liked about mew when he first saw him— mew's solitude.

conclusion

i said in this post that topmew will have their first time in episode 4, and it's happening. it fits the timeline of their budding relationship really well, as they now have reached equilibrium. top will confront mew in episode 4 and ask him about ray. mew will tell the truth because he's never a liar. possibly, that will make top trust mew again.

possibly, next week, we will see top distancing himself from mew at the start of the episode, and mew might feel sad/confused about it, so the first confrontation ensues— topmew sorting out their feelings for each other. mew willingly wants to have sex with top, an indication that mew is ready to fully accept top into his life— to be all over top as he genuinely likes top now (and this can be the start of mew's transformation from good to evil)— to admit he loves top and top is his boyfriend. they're finally on the same page.

however, things will go down the gutters in episode 6 since forcebook said it's the story's climax. yet, i believe episode 5 will be their 'honeymoon' phase, and i personally want that to happen. it'll make the pain of separation even more delicious as we have happy memories of them in our riverbank of recollections.

i'm sorry for this incoherent and messy discussion. i still have so many thoughts in mind, but this is the only thing i can pen down as of now. the car scene is still breaking me, and i just don't know. (I wrote this as soon as i woke up. therefore, i'm sorry. again.)

anyway, thanks for reading this post. :)

//btw, i watched dangerous romance yesterday, and i'm in love. that drama is easily one of the best series of the year for me. it's so good.//

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

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sinnohanvulpix · 28 days

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Sawyer is neurodivergent and you can't change my mind

Last year for Autism Acceptance Day, my good friend @pikatrainer99 and I did a collab post about Goh and our headcanon of being him autistic. Here's a link to that post if you'd like to check it out:

Today, we'd like to talk about Sawyer from Pokemon XY, another character who we both headcanon as autistic, and who means the world to me.

Let's start with his special interest, Pokemon battles. In all of Sawyer's appearances, we can clearly see his desire to learn as much as he can about battling and to grow stronger. He greatly admires strong trainers like Steven Stone and Ash. I mean, just look at how excited he gets when he hears that Ash had won five badges!

And that's exactly what he does for the rest of the series. He spends so much time studying and training that he manages to catch up to Ash within a just season's worth of episodes! But we'll get to that later.

Before going into detail about his most obvious traits, let's go over some of the traits that we only see for brief moments, starting with his sensory sensitivities. In episode 73, we see him getting visibly overwhelmed when the crowd around him, Ash, and Clemont suddenly starts cheering. We also see him shielding his eyes from Spritzee's Dazzling Gleam attack during his battle with Valerie. Note that he's the only one to react this way to both situations. I don't know about you, but I have yet to meet a single autistic person without some kind of hypersensitivity to noise, bright light, smell, texture, etcetera.

We also see in the following episode that he sometimes unintentionally gets too close to people when he's excited, not noticing their discomfort. We see this after Ash wins his gym battle with Valerie, and Sawyer is so beyond amazed and eager to learn from him that he momentarily forgets how to act "socially appropriately". Ash and his friends are visibly uncomfortable, but of course, because they're all so kind and supportive, they don't judge him for this 🥺

We also see in the first episode of XYZ that he's an amazing artist. And I mean, AMAZING! He can literally draw Squishy the Zygarde Core exactly how it looks in its official artwork, despite only having seen it for the first time that day! While not every autistic person has to have a talent like this, it's definitely not uncommon. Growing up, Pika and I both used to draw a lot, and our drawing skills were one of the few things we took pride in because of how much praise we got for it.

Now let's talk about one of his most adorable traits, which is his habit of saying, "I've gained some EXP!" Clearly he's into video games and enjoys feeling like he's in one, because this is definitely not something you typically hear in real life. This kind of escapism is quite common in autistic people, Pika and I included. In a world that's not built for us, sometimes imagining ourselves in a fictional world that we love can be really comforting and even inspiring in some cases.

You've probably noticed that Sawyer is holding his notebook in all of the last three screenshots, which is also something I'd like to get into. Not only is his notebook a crucial part of his character, but it's also a security item. Pika and I both have security items of our own, namely our phones and our favourite Pokemon plushies, which helps bring us a lot of much-needed comfort. In episode 75, we see just how panicked Sawyer gets when he temporarily loses his notebook, which quickly leads to him becoming depressed.

We know that he values his notebook deeply because it contains all he's learned on his journey, as well as an autograph from Steven Stone. But if you look deeper, it becomes clear that it's even more to him than that. He holds his notebook close to his heart, both metaphorically and literally. He hugs it after receiving approval from Ash (which I'll also get to later) Heck, he even attached his Key Stone to it! He cherishes this notebook like it's his baby, and we find that so adorable and relatable!

Okay, now it's time to get into what's arguably the saddest part of his character: his constant need of approval from others. Pika and I, as well as countless other autistic people, are no strangers to self-doubt, especially in a world where we can't meet a lot of people's expectations. Sawyer likely grew up feeling this way too, which would explain why he's always seeking Ash's approval, since Ash is the one he looks up to the most. Throughout the series, Sawyer's constantly trying desperately to catch up to him. What's even more heartbreaking is that even after he beats Ash, he still needs reassurance from him that he's become strong 🥺

And to make matters worse, he's constantly masking his frustration whenever he fails to beat Ash. The autistic community is definitely no stranger to masking either.

It's not until the episode after his Kalos League battle with Ash when we finally see Sawyer breaking down. All those hours of training to catch up to Ash only led to him losing again in their most important battle yet. He was devastated, but he couldn't show that in front of Ash out of fear of being judged. Once he and Sceptile were alone, however, Sawyer was finally able to let out all the built-up frustration. And oh boy, was it emotional to watch...

But being the resilient trainer he is, Sawyer quickly dried off his tears and reaffirmed his desire to become stronger.

It takes a lot of strength to bounce back from something like this. I also went through a lot of inner turmoil around the time XYZ was airing. But seeing Sawyer bounce back like this inspired me to keep going, and make it through the rest of that year with Sawyer as my main source of comfort.

Needless to say, I see a lot of myself in Sawyer, and so does Pika. Not only is he relatable, but his story is also a great reminder that no matter how bad things feel in the moment, we can always make it out the other side. This is an important message for a lot of people, especially within the autistic community.

Even after all these years, I still find lots of comfort in Sawyer, and I know that'll last for many more years to come 💚

#anipoke #pokeani #trainer sawyer #trainer shota #sawyer pokemon #shota pokemon #autism #autism acceptance #autism headcanon #autistic characters #autistic positivity #this is our headcanon and you cannot change it

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kiarabanetmi · 3 months

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“Poison” and how it speaks to all types of abuse

Hi there! I’m posting again. This is a small analysis/commentary on how the song Poison from Hazbin Hotel describes not just sexual and drug abuse, but other types of abuse as well. If you haven’t seen Hazbin Hotel or haven’t heard the song, I’ve put a link to the song below. Even if you don’t watch the show the song is amazing and I highly recommend it. Note: this is not the official episode music video, which is triggering to people, this is the before episode release version.

I also made another post earlier on my opinions on episode 4 of Hazbin Hotel. Give it a read!

youtube

Ok, so I’m going to cover some very specific lines and moments in the song. The majority of my analysis focuses on verse two and the the final verse.

This song at its core is about abuse. Angel Dust’s type of abuse is a combination of largely S/A along with physical and verbal Abuse by his pimp Valentino. But if you analyze these lyrics, this song speaks to all types of abuse and abuse victims and/or survivors, except for a few lines that are highly specific depending on situations. I’m going to focus on how this song can speak to domestic abuse victims, myself specifically. If you do not feel comfortable hearing about the following triggers then please scroll on and have a good day. You have been warned.

So context before I get into this: I was raised with a mentally ill parent as well as victim of my other parent’s former Fiance who also verbally and emotionally abused but the two of us. My mentally ill parent suffers from untreated unconventional borderline personality disorder, known as BPD. My other parent’s ex Fiance suffers from grandiose narcissistic personality disorder, known as NPD. I am no longer in contact with the ex Fiance and have no plans to see them ever again. However, I am still suffering from my parent with BPD, specifically over the holiday. We had a major fight because they believe my other parent is truly the abuser in their reality and by taking their side, I was starting to abuse them as well. This has caused me to (at least temporarily) cut off the unhealthy parent and live with the other one full time. And the unhealthy parent is a master at verbal, emotional and psychological manipulation.

Now getting onto the actual song:

Whenever I listen to the back half of verse 1 into the first chorus, I really relate to the lyrics through personal experience. It starts at the following line:

“I shoulda known that this would happen,

“I shoulda known it when I looked into your red-hot eyes

“Spewin’ all your red hot lies”

Now let’s go back to the lyrics and how it relates to me. As part of their BPD, this is especially true, and true for those who are involved with family/spouses/loved ones who are verbally and emotionally abusive. I believe any person who has different under an abuser will relate to this simple like. At some point we know the pattern, we know the signs for when we “fucked up” as it were. And we know at some point, consciously or unconsciously, that our abuser is lying.

“What’s the worst part of this hell?

“I can only blame myself.”

This line can be relatable depending on the type abuse you suffer from. In Angel’s case, he signed his soul away (literally) to his abuser. In a way I do that with my abuser every time I choose to go see them and enter that unhealthy environment. The problem for me personally is that BPD does have patterns but I find myself surprised and shocked by them. Know that now I am doing research to try and learn how to properly deal with family members with BPD, but that personality disorder does not excuse the abuse I suffer from t I’ll his parent. Mental illness is NOT an excuse for inflicting abuse, even if it’s as complex or rarely treated like BPD. But every time I go back into that environment I can only blame myself for entering that hell willingly again. Because despite the pain I know they will inflict upon me at some point, I still love my abuser. I imagine this is a similar mindset to what other victims of domestic abuse feel as well. We walk back to our abusers, usually choosing to because we still love our abuser and hope they’ll change and this time they’re telling the truth.

But that’s usually not the case.

“Cause I know you’re poison,

“You’re feeding me poison

“Addicted to this feeling I can’t help but swallow up your poison

“I made my choice and

“Every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow.”

In my situation I relate to this line INCREDIBLY hard. It’s not just my unstable parent who is abusive. That side of my family has a long cycle of generational abuse that I am trying to break away from. But because I grew up in that situation, despite now knowing how bad and unhealthy it is, it’s what I’m used to. And unfortunately, I am used to or addicted to that chaos. For the past few months I have lived with my healthier parent and during that time, I have developed a non-chaotic, healthy lifestyle. Growing up everything was constantly shifting and changing based on the needs/wants of my unhealthy parent, since I was predominantly in their custody in my youth. Because of this, I grew up used to that chaos, considering it normal and fine, until I was shown another alternative by my other parent when they filed for custody and finally got rid of their own abusive fiancé. But because of the way I grew up, I became used to the chaos, and every time I go back to visit my abusive parent, I run the risk of falling under their spell. And unfortunately, more often than not, I do fall for it. And when I do fall for it, I fall into survival mode once again. This means that in a sense I’m “living like there’s no tomorrow”, like Angel. I don’t think about the consequences of anything other than escalating the situation, of making sure I make it out of there without some sort of fight or confrontation.

“I got so good at being untrue,

“I got so good at telling you what you want to hear,

“I disassociate disappear”

When I enter this survival mode, as I’m sure many other abuse victims and survivors do, I tend to lose myself for a time. I become someone else in order to be who my abuser wants me to be. In my personal case, I end up regressing to a smaller helpless child (not literally, but my body language does, as an unhealthy form of self soothing, being untrue and becoming who they want me to be: someone they control. I tell them what they want to hear, usually that they are right or that their pain is valid and nothing is their fault because they are the victim (which in my parent’s case of BPD is a reality that they ACTUALLY believe). Half the time when my abuser parent is tearing into me or trying to make me feel guilty or into he the bad guy (with depressingly frequent success rates), I tend to enter a sort of humble stage. I disassociate until it’s my turn to speak. I disappear for a while until it’s safe to come back out and say or do something. And when I do disassociate it’s awful. I lose small chunks of time. This has not happened yet outside of these instances of interaction with my abuser, thank goodness, but it is still dangerous to disassociate too often. I’m sure survivors of all types of abuse have disassociated at least once in their time with their abuser.

“So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp.”

Since I grew up so used to this behavior and pattern, it is like fighting my own nature to try to stand up and not fall for the lies. It’s so hard because I still love my abuser but because of their illness and their refusal to acknowledge it or seek real treatment this pattern is unending. It’s hard to resist swallowing down the poison they force in my face and flood me with. In my case, unlike Angel, my form of poison is in a pool, slowly raising towards my mouth, and I struggle not to get it not. And I imaging that’s what most other victims of abuse also feel like. That physical, emotional, sexual, psychological abuse is a poison that if left unchecked or stayed near to long will eventually kill us, either minor abuser’s action or our own.(Note, at the end of this post I have posted links the contact information of various services to help people in these situations, at least for those in the United States). Angel’s situation is also like that too, but he’s also drugged and forced to take poison by Valentino.

“My story’s going to end with me dead from your poison.”

This line hit me hardest out of everything in the song. During the latest fight with my parent, they tore into me overall and so brutally that for the first time in my life, I truly contemplated suicide as a better alternative. The verbal and mental poison they fed me for so long overwhelmed me and I felt myself wanting to die from it. I am not suicidal now, but it was an overwhelming feeling of pain, hopelessness, feeling trapped with no escape (at one point literally when I threatened to go drinking and they blocked the door, which is a tricky situation). If I hadn’t gotten out of then not already had the support system in place that I spend years setting up and learning to build, I may not be making this post right now. And there’s thousands of others like me who are still stuck in that pool of poison, but have already choked too much and succumbed to it. Never forget them.

“Poison, I’m sick of the poison,

“Im filling up my glass but it’s always hollow

“Full of poison, I’m sick of the poison,

“Wish I had something to live for tomorrow.”

And like Angel here, I’m sick of the poison as well, and every other abuse victim of any type can relate to this. At some point nothing helps anymore when you are stuck in the situation long enough. There’s no escape, and everything is hollow. There was a time when I was like this as well. My abuser had isolated me from nearly everyone else in my life save for my healthy parent, and it nearly broke me. But I found a reason to live for tomorrow at the time.

And I hope you can too. If you are reading this and relate to my story, or you heard this song and related to it in some way, then please know you are not alone. This song is not just a bop, it’s a real look at the kind of a severely abused victim that we don’t always see.

If you or your loved one are being by abused in some way, you are not alone. Here are some resources if you are in danger and need to call for help:

The Suicide Hotline: 988

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline:

The National Sexual Assault Hotline:

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Parents

#hazbin hotel poison #hazbin hotel #tw s/a #tw verbal abuse #tw psychological abuse #tw domestic abuse #tw emotional abuse #discussions of abuse in detail #tw mental illness #tw mental health #tw bpd #Youtube

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