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#this is our headcanon and you cannot change it
sinnohanvulpix · 1 month
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Sawyer is neurodivergent and you can't change my mind
Last year for Autism Acceptance Day, my good friend @pikatrainer99 and I did a collab post about Goh and our headcanon of being him autistic. Here's a link to that post if you'd like to check it out:
Today, we'd like to talk about Sawyer from Pokemon XY, another character who we both headcanon as autistic, and who means the world to me.
Let's start with his special interest, Pokemon battles. In all of Sawyer's appearances, we can clearly see his desire to learn as much as he can about battling and to grow stronger. He greatly admires strong trainers like Steven Stone and Ash. I mean, just look at how excited he gets when he hears that Ash had won five badges!
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And that's exactly what he does for the rest of the series. He spends so much time studying and training that he manages to catch up to Ash within a just season's worth of episodes! But we'll get to that later.
Before going into detail about his most obvious traits, let's go over some of the traits that we only see for brief moments, starting with his sensory sensitivities. In episode 73, we see him getting visibly overwhelmed when the crowd around him, Ash, and Clemont suddenly starts cheering. We also see him shielding his eyes from Spritzee's Dazzling Gleam attack during his battle with Valerie. Note that he's the only one to react this way to both situations. I don't know about you, but I have yet to meet a single autistic person without some kind of hypersensitivity to noise, bright light, smell, texture, etcetera.
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We also see in the following episode that he sometimes unintentionally gets too close to people when he's excited, not noticing their discomfort. We see this after Ash wins his gym battle with Valerie, and Sawyer is so beyond amazed and eager to learn from him that he momentarily forgets how to act "socially appropriately". Ash and his friends are visibly uncomfortable, but of course, because they're all so kind and supportive, they don't judge him for this 🥺
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We also see in the first episode of XYZ that he's an amazing artist. And I mean, AMAZING! He can literally draw Squishy the Zygarde Core exactly how it looks in its official artwork, despite only having seen it for the first time that day! While not every autistic person has to have a talent like this, it's definitely not uncommon. Growing up, Pika and I both used to draw a lot, and our drawing skills were one of the few things we took pride in because of how much praise we got for it.
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Now let's talk about one of his most adorable traits, which is his habit of saying, "I've gained some EXP!" Clearly he's into video games and enjoys feeling like he's in one, because this is definitely not something you typically hear in real life. This kind of escapism is quite common in autistic people, Pika and I included. In a world that's not built for us, sometimes imagining ourselves in a fictional world that we love can be really comforting and even inspiring in some cases.
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You've probably noticed that Sawyer is holding his notebook in all of the last three screenshots, which is also something I'd like to get into. Not only is his notebook a crucial part of his character, but it's also a security item. Pika and I both have security items of our own, namely our phones and our favourite Pokemon plushies, which helps bring us a lot of much-needed comfort. In episode 75, we see just how panicked Sawyer gets when he temporarily loses his notebook, which quickly leads to him becoming depressed.
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We know that he values his notebook deeply because it contains all he's learned on his journey, as well as an autograph from Steven Stone. But if you look deeper, it becomes clear that it's even more to him than that. He holds his notebook close to his heart, both metaphorically and literally. He hugs it after receiving approval from Ash (which I'll also get to later) Heck, he even attached his Key Stone to it! He cherishes this notebook like it's his baby, and we find that so adorable and relatable!
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Okay, now it's time to get into what's arguably the saddest part of his character: his constant need of approval from others. Pika and I, as well as countless other autistic people, are no strangers to self-doubt, especially in a world where we can't meet a lot of people's expectations. Sawyer likely grew up feeling this way too, which would explain why he's always seeking Ash's approval, since Ash is the one he looks up to the most. Throughout the series, Sawyer's constantly trying desperately to catch up to him. What's even more heartbreaking is that even after he beats Ash, he still needs reassurance from him that he's become strong 🥺
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And to make matters worse, he's constantly masking his frustration whenever he fails to beat Ash. The autistic community is definitely no stranger to masking either.
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It's not until the episode after his Kalos League battle with Ash when we finally see Sawyer breaking down. All those hours of training to catch up to Ash only led to him losing again in their most important battle yet. He was devastated, but he couldn't show that in front of Ash out of fear of being judged. Once he and Sceptile were alone, however, Sawyer was finally able to let out all the built-up frustration. And oh boy, was it emotional to watch...
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But being the resilient trainer he is, Sawyer quickly dried off his tears and reaffirmed his desire to become stronger.
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It takes a lot of strength to bounce back from something like this. I also went through a lot of inner turmoil around the time XYZ was airing. But seeing Sawyer bounce back like this inspired me to keep going, and make it through the rest of that year with Sawyer as my main source of comfort.
Needless to say, I see a lot of myself in Sawyer, and so does Pika. Not only is he relatable, but his story is also a great reminder that no matter how bad things feel in the moment, we can always make it out the other side. This is an important message for a lot of people, especially within the autistic community.
Even after all these years, I still find lots of comfort in Sawyer, and I know that'll last for many more years to come 💚
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threestripeslider · 1 year
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Splinter cutting up fruit and just wordlessly giving it to his sons as a snack without being asked as a silent sign of love and care can literally be so personal–
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4seasonsofart · 7 months
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Poor little Garm just wants to murder people, and Mommy Bjorn won't let him. Aka, another installment of Season 1 Garm— the Thorkell carbon copy. Askeladd decides to employ the little hellhound... and he ends up with another child.
"I swear they're multiplying." Mother Bjorn mutters as he holds Garm by the collar. "I like that you murder, but no murdering your brother."
Garm stares at Bjorn like a kicked puppy as he holds his spear.
Garm did, in fact, try to murder his brother (Thorfinn) again that day, but he ended up in a timeout, which means no killing for an entire week. He was not pleased.
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angelicxlly · 1 year
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—{ Muses Tag Dump pt. 2 } ✿
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• Flower Gleam & Glow; let your Power shine ;; Neeko IC • Words are tricky; better to speak with colors and emotion ;; Neeko Aesthetics • Beauty shines from inside; where the heart dances ;; Neeko Headcanons • Co-om se henna means we smile forever; like Friends; That is the words ;; Neeko Musings
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• A Honest Voice is Louder than a Crowd ;; Seraphine IC • Get your dancing shoes ;; Seraphine Aesthetics • Sure its a classic; but have you heard the remix ;; Seraphine Headcanons • Let's change the world ;; Seraphine Musings
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• Flowers are the Shadows of Stars ;; Soraka IC • I cannot shepherd so I must inspire. ;; Soraka Aesthetics • We shall weave our own destiny ;; Soraka Headcanons • To heal and protect ;; Soraka Musings
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celeatsrocks · 2 months
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I have a fun little headcanon for white mage in ff14 that I never talk about. Very early on in the conjurer quest line, we're taught that white magic draws from the ambient aether of the world to create earth, wind, and water spells. One must keep a tenuous balance with the elements so as to not anger them like they were in the War of the Magi, because you cannot use your own aether to heal others since you are essentially trading life force and will eventually die. The effects of personal aether being used for destructive magics is discussed more in detail in the black mage questline - one of the major risks being self immolation.
Anyways, back to ambient aether. All the way from level 1 to 70, white mage spells were based in concrete elements (Stone, Aero, Fluid Aura, ect). Once we move into shadowbringers, more and more spells took on the aspect of light (Dia, Glare, ect). I believe this is because the First was so full of light that obviously white mage's use of ambient aether tainted their spells, changing to the most prevalent element in the land.
As for why the magic didn't return to the original elements in endwalker? Perhaps our experience on the First and nearly becoming a Lightwarden irrevocably tainted our spells towards the aspect of light, or the elemental aspect of light was so strong there that it's taking a while to regain a balanced elemental connection. Because while Glare, Dia, and Holy continue to get stronger, water based spells are introduced later into endwalker progression (Aquaveil and Liturgy of the Bell).
This may not be the most groundbreaking theory/headcanon I just think it's neat. Besides without job quests after level 70, we're just kinda left to theorize about the lore of the classes shadowbringers and onward.
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rassicas · 9 months
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Frye is not a Vampire Squid.
It's one thing to headcanon something, but it's another to pass it around a fact, which is why i have to say: Frye is not canonically a vampire squid. This idea originated from a popular twitter thread made at the time of Splatoon 3's direct, and the evidence it's based on is...weak. And yet I still see this info passed around... Yeah I think Frye is just supposed to be a regular Inkling.
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the splatoon team has shown us that inklings, like humans, can have a lot of diversity. while our player character models are limited, in-universe its a different story. these are all considered regular inklings. look at the varied eye masks, faces,...they can even have blue skin! So i think that frye is just the splatoon team showing us how more diverse inklings can be.
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I made a google drive folder of Inkling hairstyles with a lot of concept art, you can see many diverse examples. To address the other specific points of evidence used:
Long fangs: All Inklings have sharp "teeth"/ beaks. Inkling beak shapes can vary. the last one appears to have a snaggletooth.
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Long ears: Ear shapes can vary as well. compare ears of the squid sisters with the player character. Pearl has short ears. hell even the player inkling ears between s2 and s3 are different.
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purple fingertips: prior to S3, fingertip coloration was something only seen on octolings, not on inklings. with how her and Shiver can freely change finger tip colors according to their ink, it seems like just a thing inklings and octolings can Do and we just haven't seen much of until now, like how we didn't see much varied hairstyles until s2. Perhaps with how integrated octarian culture is in the splatlands, inklings have caught onto this style as well? Her earrings, the sharp pointy bits in her design: Yes this was used as evidence for the vampire squid thing. That's all eel motifs.
Now the biggest reason she cannot be a vampire squid... vampire squids are NOT squids! They're more closely related to octopuses, but really, they're their own thing (also they're called 'bat octopuses' in japanese... the language the splatoon developers speak. nothing to do with vampires or squids)
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With how splatoon's designs have been so far, other species of cephalopods are not guaranteed to look like inklings, especially if not closely related to ink-producing squids and octopuses (and vampire squids are not) Here we have a dumbo octopus (not octoling). also nautiluses. In the case of a species that would be more closely related to the playable species, what seems to be an octoling based on a blue ringed octopus.
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Going off this, if the splatoon team were to make a vampire squid character, it most likely wouldn't be a subtle 'inkling/octoling but 2 inches to the left,' For such a unique species, I think they would be pretty explicit about it in the design itself. And considering that they are deepsea creatures that do not produce normal ink, a vampire squid in splatoon might look pretty odd! In conclusion...please stop claiming frye is "supposed to be" or "canonically" a vampire squid, it's a flimsy headcanon based on superficial traits at best and there is zero evidence that was the developer's intent.
(And while I'm here, Pearl is not confirmed a pygmy squid, marie is not confirmed to be a firefly squid, marina is not a webfoot octopus etc. That's fanon based on their japanese names, not canon. As far as we know, the player inklings and inkling idols are all just one species of inkling. inklings and octolings seem to take inspiration from multiple species, but it's not confirmed if they are those species.)
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boneremoval · 1 month
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get scared!!!! RAAAH RAAAHH get scared!!!! finally got around to drawing mr plant our suspicious void inhabitant king. plus headcanons! i didn't realize mr plant's design had changed after the first two episodes? maybe i just stare at his face (exactly what i'm not supposed to do, sorry) then i drew a "baby" version thats mostly just his petals being fresh and clean. i think if he wanted to he could pluck them out and new ones would grow in after a bit - you can see the buds on the back of his head at the bottom. plus two cute lil leaves for fun also when inhuman characters have extra limbs that is my jam so obviously he gets something. roots. vines. i cannot decide.
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hexbees · 3 months
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buildup to dating draco headcanons!
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a/n:: my own personal headcanons for our boy draco! obvi you can think or feel however you want!
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draco would greet you with a sarcastic smile or wave. not condescending, just overly joyous.
"Hey! Hello! HI! Y/N! HI!" hand flailing and all.
obnoxiously touching you (at anyyy chance)
knocking knees on purpose, brushing his shoulders against you when he has to reach for something. CALLING YOU SMALL SO HE CAN COMPARE HAND SIZES!!!
he loves nothing more than meanly flirting with you.
"You're so fucking annoying, its cute."
he thinks you look so attractive when you're irritated (literally eggs you on so you'll get riled up)
"Ew, why are you wearing red?"
"Malfoy! I'm not changing again!" you'd furrow your eyes at him, clearly annoyed.
"You look better in green, please. I cannot be seen anywhere near you in this dress."
"Good! I'll avoid you all night, no problem." you'd turn your back on him, only making his grin grow bigger.
"It's a problem for me."
he loves all the attention you get (from guys and girls) it makes his heart swell with pride knowing everyone else sees you as he does.
"Damn, y/n looks good even in red." blaise would say, leaned against a wall in the common room while a party ensues.
"Of course she does"
while he's been propositioned by girls in the past, he never hesitates to brush them off and decline. he couldn't imagine anyone ever captivating him like you do.
"Why don't you walk me back to m-"
"Huh?" he literally didn't hear her, focusing on the giggles you're letting out ten feet away from him.
"Wanna go back to my roo-"
"No" without even turning his head to see who asked.
he helps you with your books after shared classes only to hold them over his head so he can look down at you struggling to reach them.
"You fucking beanpole, give them back!" you'd bounce on the balls of your feet, resting one hand on his shoulder hoping to reach higher.
"Why would I do that when you look so cute all mad?"
he purposefully cuts you off in group conversations just to watch you puff your cheeks and huff.
"Like, what the fuck? He gave me an E! An E! I deserved at least-"
"Do you want a biscuit? There's one left."
"No, Draco. Don't inter-"
"Are you sure? It's the last one."
"Draco, shut up!"
he calls you pet names because he knows it annoys you and likes that you say them back, thinking it annoys him too.
"Hey, mon amour."
"Good morning, mon cher." you'd roll your eyes while he grinned.
he catches you looking at him with a glint in your eye but ignores it because he knows if you noticed that he noticed, you'd stop. (though he would love to see you embarrassed over being caught)
he tries to drop hints, hoping you'd catch on, but you never do. leaving him annoyed with himself for not sucking it up and fully committing to asking you out.
"I feel like going to Hogsmeade, maybe getting a butterbeer."
"We can see if anyone else wants to go when they get back from the library."
"Mm but they might be a while. You and I can just go, together."
"Well, I wouldn't want them to feel left out."
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mt-oe · 1 month
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𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝘼𝙧𝙚—bandmate mizu hcs
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
Hey dears!
I've been listening to an old playlist I made when I still had time to listen to various genres of music and nostalgia hit me in such a good way.
Hope that you will find much fun in these headcanons as much as I had fun writing them <3
Enjoy! Mwa mwa :*
warnings: not proofread, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader
note/s: manager reader; mizu has a crush on you
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✦ She plays both electric guitar and bass. She'd be sporting a white Epiphone 1961 Les Paul SG Standard, a graduation gift from her step father. Since it had so much sentimental value to her, she never really got around to replacing it. But when she got her first job, she spent the first few months saving up for her bass which was a Fender American Performer Mustang Bass.
You'll never see her in the studio without it. She even keeps it by her side when everyone's taking a small snack break. It's like they're her babies.
One time Taigen tried playing with it while Mizu was in the restroom and everyone was surprised at how fast she came out of the comfort room to smack him on the head with a force so heavy the smack sound echoed around. With that incident, everyone knew not to touch her instruments.
✦ Dresses up either in the typical oversized shirt and baggy pants...or like Kurt Cobain. You cannot change my mind. End of conversation.
✦ Mizu would be the type of member who has argued or fought with every one at least once. It didn't matter how insignificant the issue was. If she didn't like what she saw or what was happening, she doesn't hesitate to speak up about it. This, of course, led to arguments and fights that you often had to mediate.
Why you? It's because she never really listens to anyone else. If anyone else broke up the fight, she'd fight with them as well.
"Mizu," you sighed out, crossing your arms and staring at her with an unamused look.
When you arrived at the studio, Ringo had immediately informed you that Mizu and Akemi were arguing yet again. The atmosphere inside was so thick, you could probably cut it with a knife. This led you to pulling Mizu out of band practice to have a talk with her.
She leaned against the wall, crossing her arms back. Her head was turned towards another direction, not really able to look at you. "It's her damn fault. Her and her old man," she simply replied, making you sigh yet again.
"I know you're annoyed at her dad for interrupting our practice again but you know you can't argue with Akemi all the time," you responded, unfolding your arms and placing a hand on her shoulder. "We need both of you in this band, y'know?"
Her body tensed up slightly when she felt your hand make contact with her shoulder, a blush forming on her cheeks ever so slightly. Fuck you're so cute. She glanced at you before pushing herself off of the wall, rubbing a hand over her face, seemingly annoyed. "Fine, fine. I'll apologize," she grumbled
You smiled at her, making her glance at you again. "Thanks, Mizu."
When both of you returned inside, she immediately apologized to Akemi like a brat who was scolded. But Mizu knew she'd argue with Akemi again the next time her dad barges in the studio. She's just trying to please you for now.
✦ If she isn't playing, she'll be sitting all by herself, researching about where to buy instruments and paraphernalia or watching recordings of another band's recent gig. Ringo would often join her when he spots her. His sudden appearance often makes her jump. At first, it would just be Ringo talking about his day, then what he ate, then the new songs he discovered from the smart shuffle feature of Spotify to which Mizu would either respond by not saying anything or just nodding.
When Ringo spots her looking for better instruments, he'll start talking about second-hand equipment and old but gold repair shops. Although it seems like Mizu isn't listening to him, you'll spot her checking the seller's profile or going to the shop itself on her free time even if she had no intention in buying anything.
✦ Has the most random playlist among everyone in the band. While everyone had a main genre they stuck to, such as Taigen with grunge, Akemi with pop, and Ringo with country, Mizu just listens to whatever. As long as it sounds good, she adds it to her playlist.
And mind you, she just dumps all the songs in ONE playlist.
You tried listening to it once and hearing AC/DC's Back in Black after listening to Twice's TT followed by bouquet by Ichiko Aoba was not something you'd expect to hear in that order.
She gets embarrassed when she finds out you listened to her playlist but doesn't make it obvious. The next time you look at her profile, you'll find a playlist named "you, it's always you" and it's just filled with love songs and songs about having a crush.
✦ Along with the previous, their opponents during battle of the bands competitions often underestimate her. The other competitors would be so confused because why is this dude listening to Tchaikovsky backstage instead of practicing his rifts?
Mizu was simply chilling backstage, earphones in, listening to her random ass playlist again when a shadow looms over her. She looks up and sees Akemi, staring at her and saying something she could not hear.
She removes an earbud, raising an eyebrow at their vocalist in a seemingly annoyed manner. "Your music is too loud. We can hear it from the dressing room," Akemi points out, crossing her arms. She leans forward and looks at Mizu's phone before letting out an amused huff. "Don't you think listening to Hamilton before the competition is a bit weird?" she asks with a smirk.
The other bands sitting around and eavesdropping on the two whispered, glancing at them. Hamilton? Really? Before a battle of the bands competition? Bud is already throwing away his shot, they thought.
The guitarist simply grunts at her, shrugging her shoulders at her. "This is none of your business. Go warm up or something," she replies before putting her earbud back in and closing her eyes as she leaned back against the chair. Akemi rolled her eyes before walking off, probably to find the rest of the band.
When they get up on stage, everybody already thinks the guitarist doesn't know shit. But man, the look on everyone's faces when she starts playing Chopsuey? Goddamn.
Goddamn.
✦ Unlike the others members, she doesn't actively try to build connections with other bands. Once the competition is over, everyone except Mizu is out their mingling with other bands. You're out there talking with your fellow managers, Ringo is talking about food with the other bands for some reason, and Taigen is out there attracting the other women which leads to Akemi dragging him by the ear. Mizu is just...there.
She finds interacting with other people unnecessary. She also has her moments when she recognizes and wants to talk to someone from another band but she's too awkward to talk to them. What she'll do is just stare at them from a distance and wait for someone to introduce them to her.
"You're burning a hole through their heads," Taigen comments, sitting down next to Mizu on the equipment crate and propping his leg up. Mizu grunts in acknowledgement of his comment but continues to stare at the other band. "They probably think you're a weirdo," he laughs.
She glares at him for a brief moment before looking at the band at a distance again. "They had a gig in the bar near our studio. Pretty impressive," she explains. Taigen nods, now staring at the band too.
The both of them watch as you approached the band of interest, cheery and bubbly. Almost immediately, you were already chatting it up out there.
A manager's skill probably.
Mid-conversation, you felt someone watching you so you turned around, eyes meeting with the two. Your smile widened, making the two of them stand up, knowing what was about to happen. They watched as you talked with the other band again. Suddenly, they looked at Taigen and Mizu's direction and approached them with you by their side.
"And these are my bandmates!" you introduced, moving over to their side. Just as Mizu was about to shake the vocalist's hands, the vocalist from the other band immediately patted her shoulder. "You're that person from one of our gigs! So how was it?"
The introvert in her was thanking you so much.
✦ She's a lady killer, but she's also very awkward when women approach her. As much as Mizu is pretty, Mizu is undeniably very handsome as well. Let's be honest, who wouldn't be attracted to a tall, well-built guitarist with an aloof aura and the sexiest deep voice you've ever heard?
The problem was, she didn't really know how to interact with them. The moment someone tries to hit on her, she's either frozen stiff or already planning her escape.
Mizu could not do anything but stare at what had landed on her feet.
It was a bra. With someone's number on it.
"Call me! Please!" someone from the audience screamed. She looked around in confusion before looking at the article of underwear by her feet with her eyes narrowed. Slowly, she bent down and picked it up, holding it by the straps.
Holy shit these were big.
What the hell was she supposed to do with this? Throw it back to the owner? Poor Mizu was lost. She continued to hold it up awkwardly, trying to figure out what should she do. If you hadn't told her to toss it you, she'd probably still be staring at it by the next song.
And you'd think people would stop doing that, but no. In fact, the amount of women hitting on her backstage increased. The little incident on stage somehow increased her charm with the ladies. Because holy shit...she plays both guitar and bass, both tall and well-built, looks so fucking good in a relaxed fit, can be both pretty and handsome at the same time, has an aloof and mysterious aura, AND she's awkward?? Sign me up. Sign me the fuck up.
✦ Unintentionally gets good venues for gigs. That's why you always bring her with you when talking to the owner of the venue. None of you really know how she does it, but she does?
"For the last time, I'm telling you. We've already booked enough performers for this month," the owner grumbled, glaring at you and your persistence.
You frowned at him, clasping your hands in front. "Please! We just need a gig to fund a new amplifier," you begged, giving the owner doe eyes. To no avail, the old man wouldn't budge...is what you thought.
Mizu saw your frown and knitted eyebrows and decided that it was a good time to approach you. She looked at you before looking at the owner with narrowed eyes, almost like a glare. "Is there a problem?" she asked, stepping forward and closer to the owner, stopping only once she was almost face-to-face with him. Her sharp blue eyes stared at his, piercing through his soul.
The owner stepped back a bit, looking up at her before shaking his head. "No no, we were only uh...talking about which time slot you wanted next week!" he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.
Upon hearing this, you immediately perked up and gently pushed Mizu aside. "What? Really?!" you exclaimed, holding on to the guitarist's arm in excitement. The owner nervously glanced back at Mizu, who was still looking at him with the same intimidating stare, before nodding in clear defeat.
After you had negotiated with him, the two of you left with a smile. "That went supeeer well!" you laughed out, looking over at Mizu. "What'd you do anyway?" You grasped her arm, shaking it slightly.
She shrugged, looking anywhere but at you to conceal her blush. "Beats me. I just looked over to see what you were frowning at."
✦ She doesn't like singing even if she sounds pretty good. Everyone in the band, except you, has heard her sing and has tried to convince her to be the lead vocalist for at least one song but is always greeted with a "no" or a "shut the fuck up". She WILL do the back up voice but she feels too insecure about how deep and husky her voice is so it's rare.
You didn't know she didn't like singing though and on one faithful occasion...
You opened the door to the studio and was immediately greeted by the sight of Mizu sitting on the floor with her guitar in hand. The two of you arrived pretty early so the rest weren't there yet. Her guitar was unplugged and it seems like she was looking up songs on her phone.
"Hey..." you greeted her quietly, to which she nodded. "What's up?"
She looked up from her phone before sitting up straight and propping her phone on her thigh, getting ready to play. For a moment, she did not do anything but stare at what was on her phone before looking at you.
"Want to hear me sing?"
You looked at her with wide eyes, a smile slowly tugging on the corner of your lips. Despite her question catching you off guard, it was still a welcomed surprise. You nodded and sat down on the floor next to her, leaning against her slightly.
Her breath hitched upon feeling you so close to her before she slowly relaxed and started strumming on the unplugged guitar. At first, she started strumming a bunch of random chords to calm her nerves. Once you heard the first few chords, you immediately recognized the song.
"If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything..." she sang, strumming on her guitar softly. "I could even learn how to love."
The way she was singing the song so shyly yet so tenderly warmed you up.
Each strum.
Each word.
Each pluck .
It was like she was singing the song with someone special in mind. You leaned closer to her, resting your head against her shoulder, not minding how much it was moving.
She moved her shoulder a bit lower so you could fully rest your head against it, still singing. "Look at you go. I just adore you." She glanced at you for a moment before continuing. "I wish that I knew...what makes you think I'm so special."
A small smile also tugged on her lips as she looked at you. You looked so peaceful. You felt so peaceful. Like you were enjoying your time with her as she continued to sing. "When I see the way you way you look shaken by how long it took, I could do about anything.."
"I could even learn how to love like you"
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raines-cloud · 25 days
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what they’re like in bed — nsfw!headcanons for miguel and hobie
tws: brat!reader, kinda shitty writing my bad i haven’t written in months sorry y’all, slight degradation in miguel’s, gn!reader, praise in hobie’s, mentions of getting high (hobie)
a/n: Heyyyy guys i’m so so sorry about the massive lack of content. i’ve been super super busy with school, but now my schedule is much less busy and i actually have time to write! so i wanna get back into writing not only for atsv but also genshin :3 ANYWAY. enjoy these poorly written headcanons!! <3
Miguel O’hara
good luck getting him into bed in the first place lmao
man is busy!! and when he’s not working he’s tired :((
but when you finally do get him into bed? (most likely after teasing the shit out of him) good luck walking the next few days.
usually he’s kind and sweet. he really doesn’t like feeling like he has to discipline you.
but he kinda does.
here’s how i think miggy would react to you sending him nxdes and shit like that all day:
“do you ever shut the fuck up?” miguel growled as you whined. “you were asking for this all day, sending me pictures while i was in meetings… you’re pathetic.”
“‘m sorry sir, i just missed you- fuck,” you gasped as he shoved himself all the way in, not moving. “why’d you stop?”
“since you wanted to feel me so badly, why don’t you just sit still on my cock for a minute?”
you grinned tiredly. “sounds like you’re getting tired.”
he pressed onto your abdomen, forcing you to feel how deep he was inside of you. “watch your tone.”
Hobie Brown
doing a complete 180 from miguel…
i feel like hobie is one of the more attentive spiderpeople (?? is that the plural lmao)
even if you do tease him, he takes his time with you. you never act like a complete brat with hobie because he treats you so well
#1 praiser in bed. you cannot change my mind on this sorry. unless y’all are fucking while he’s high cuz good lord that man can get mean while he’s high
anyway. here’s what i think a normal night would go like:
“hey love,” hobie called through your shared apartment. “would ya come here?”
“of course hon, what’s- oh,” you stopped. hobie was holding a package you had ordered. the box was still closed, and it wasn’t anything special.
“what’s in here?” he asked.
you thought about what you had ordered. some new clothes, some shoes, and-
oh, shit. you had ordered a new vibrator, too.
“i think it’s just clothes. i don’t recall ordering anything else.” you said quickly.
hobie stared at you. “...you know we have a shared bank account, right? and that i can see purchases you make with our card?”
you paled. “…i forgot about that.”
he pulled you closer to him, making sure you felt the bulge in his pants growing. “let’s go play with our new toy, yeah?”
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sinnohanvulpix · 1 year
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Goh is neurodivergent and you can’t change my mind
Since today is Autism Acceptance Day, this is the perfect time to look back on Goh’s iconic moments throughout Journeys and how they support my headcanon that he is autistic. This is also @pikatrainer99​‘s headcanon, and we collaborated to make this post. And yes, we are both autistic, and we are allowed to encourage acceptance through this headcanon. If you’re not autistic and you disagree with any of this, then kindly leave.
With that out of the way though, let’s start with episode 1. And, oh boy, is there a lot to unpack! Just in this episode alone, we can see that Goh has a clear special interest in Pokemon, which brings him so much joy to talk about (which I can totally relate to). We also see that he lacked some social skills, didn’t understand social cues, and infodumped about all the different Pokemon they encountered as he didn’t understand that his role was to be the listener, not the teacher. But the biggest thing that stood out to me was when he said that he didn’t need friends, and it’s later revealed that he had been avoiding going to school. This seems to imply that something happened at school that made him stop going, which is unfortunately not uncommon for autistic people to go through (I would’ve gone through that if homeschooling wasn’t an option for me). So instead, he spent all his time on the computer doing Pokemon research.
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Fast forward 4 years later to episode 2, and we see that Goh still finds just as much enjoyment in Pokemon research, with still no interest yet in making new friends. That is until he meets Ash, who was one of the first people he met who loves Pokemon just as much as he does. Because Goh still didn’t understand how friendship worked, he announced to him “I accept you as my friend!” As adorable as this is, it’s not the typical reaction to meeting someone, and I’m glad that it was Ash he said this too and not anyone else.
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But episode 3 is when I really started seeing myself in Goh, as it was the first to show his insecure side, which likely developed from multiple instances of being misunderstood. After having one small argument with Ash, Goh became convinced that their friendship was completely over, that he messed it up. He even starts tearing up while muttering to himself, “so you’re one of those people too...”, which shows just how much having Ash as a friend means to him. Fortunately though, since Ash is so forgiving, he quickly forgot all about the argument and helped reassure Goh that they’re still friends, much to his relief.
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After episode 3, the evidence became a little more spread out, but we can clearly see in multiple future episodes that Goh’s friendship with Ash hasn’t “changed” his autistic-coded traits. We still see many of these traits throughout the series, especially his fear of being rejected (which I headcanon as RSD, aka Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is commonly linked with autism and ADHD). This was most prevalently seen throughout episode 22, when Goh became convinced that Raboot didn’t want him as its trainer anymore and would live a happier life without him, which fortunately turned out to be untrue as Raboot came back for him. This was seen again in episode 101, when Goh saw Grookey getting along so well with the wild Grookey and Thwackey they met that he thought Grookey would be happier living with them. But once again, his beloved partner came back, reassuring him that they do belong together.
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Speaking of the Galar starters, we also saw in episode 62 that Goh has trouble identifying his emotions, aka alexithymia (also commonly linked with autism). During a childhood flashback, after he had lost interest in playing with the other kids, his teacher asked him why, but Goh was unable to answer as he didn’t know why himself. Even in the present day when he reassured Drizzile that it’s okay not to know why it’s feeling this way, he began to tear up without knowing why. Something tells me this is something that he’s always needed to hear, whether he realized it or not.
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And of course, we can’t talk about Goh’s insecure side without talking about episode 32. Even though we knew by the end that it was all a misunderstanding, Goh was convinced for three whole years that Tokio had intentionally broken his promise and abandoned him. This experience heavily traumatized him, which we can clearly see as his encounters with Ariados and Pineco bring back the memories of his time with Tokio and the painful emotions he associated them with. Not to mention this took place a year after episode 1, when he was already uninterested in making new friends. Seeing his first close friendship end this way definitely contributed to his distrust in others and unclear grasp of how friendship works, even after the two eventually made up.
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This was even shown as late as episode 135, the penultimate episode of Journeys. He spent the entire episode trying to find the courage to tell Ash that he wanted to go on his own journey... only for Ash to casually tell him the same thing. Goh felt so betrayed by this that it led to an emotional outburst, which I can honestly understand. I wouldn’t want my dear friends to make this kind of casual announcement either. This proves that even after all this time of bonding with Ash and growing as a person and trainer, Goh still has much work to do when it comes to understanding social relations, which is a lifetime commitment for autistic people.
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Fortunately, Goh has still managed to find much fulfillment on his journey. Not only has he finally gotten to embrace his deep passion for Pokemon, but he’s also formed multiple friendships with Pokemon. In fact, Pika and I believe that the reason he wants to catch ‘em all (apart from working his way up to Mew) is because he feels more comfortable befriending Pokemon than people. Pokemon don’t judge him the way people do, so it makes perfect sense why he would want to have friends in his life who won’t betray him.
Overall, we’re both super happy that we got to spend three years following the journey of one of the most relatable characters in Pokemon history. Goh will always be one of our favourite characters, and we’ll always look back fondly on his many iconic and relatable moments ❤️
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skyeslittlecorner · 2 months
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not sure if this was posted before. can we get the classic scenario of some brave (read:unfortunate) soul trying to flirt with the mc and how will the kings (+sitri and belial if it's okay) react to it? thank you :3
Ahh, that's one of my fav kind of headcanons! And! Sitri!!! Belial!!! I love kings, but I'm a noble's girlie~ Let's make them jealous. See them doing their best, it's not enough to be hot to win our hearts... ok maybe it is BUT, it doesn't change anything!
Assume that some cutie like our Dong-gyun is flirting with us. Nobody dangerous or slick. This way they will only be jealous, not mad, and we will see how they want to prove themselves.
꧁:・ ✡ ・:꧂
Satan will be ready to fight at first, but when he sees that you are having fun and no one is trying to hurt you, he will let go. Of course, he will be jealous. You are his. He will make sure to remind you, and do everything to impress you and win your attention back. Over time, he will get to know you better and learn what you like best. If his strength turns you on and you want to see him fight for you, he will. If you'd rather see a room strewn with roses when you return to the palace, then be it. If a devil flirts with you too intensely (in his opinion, always), he will come and grab your waist. We know he has guts, and anyone who allows himself too much deserves a kick. Unfortunately, he can't kick them because it's like a reward, and he doesn't want any more devils hanging around you.
Mammon won't care too much if you're flirting with someone. Everything his master does is perfect. If this is your wish, he will choose the best lovers in the country who will fulfill your desires. He will make every dream come true. You own him, not he you, and he waits patiently until one day you want to be his. You are free and can do whatever you want. As long as no one tries to get their hands on you against your will, Mammon is going to watch with amusement those poor attempts. After all, that funny little devil who thinks he has a chance with you is his too.
Beelzebub has a whole story dedicated to the cute guy who flirts with us. On the outside, he looks as chilled as ever, but there's an underlying menace lingering in the air. “Don't cross the line, or you'll be devoured.” You have to have some restraint, if you don't want this poor devil to end badly. Actually, no one knows what Beel is capable of, because the surrounding rumors say that he deprived one devil of the hand he used to hug you, and sewed another's mouth shut for daring to kiss you. But you know how exaggerated the rumors surrounding him are. He himself always behaved impeccably (as much as you say it about him) around you, and the fact that he clearly showed that you belonged to him... it only makes you wet, admit it.
Leviathan, oh well. If anyone *dared* to flirt with you near him, they would not only hang, but fly out the window and land on a wall. The only people he would not hang, because he cannot, are those who are equal in status to him, i.e. other kings. If he saw you flirting with one of them... remember how in ch4 Satan's wrath was so tremendous that it began to choke his subjects? This is exactly what would happen with Levi's jealousy. Except not only the devils who stand close will suffer, but half of Hades. Since he can't hang other kings, he could hang you... but with each king the scenario would be different, so it's hard to say in general. Either way, prepare for chaos.
Belial is very composed. He'll let you do whatever you want, after all, you're not married to him or anything. He just respects you and your freedom. You'd even think he didn't care when Jiyu stepped in. Without Belial's consent, of course. You only managed to hear “Know your place, your fucking maggot-!” before the noble catch him and silence him, blushing furiously. You see how he squeezed poor little thing so much that their eyes popped out of their sockets. You can't help but giggle, because it looks like someone is jealous after all.
Sitri will be both jealous and sarcastic. Very openly. He doesn't even try to hide it, the poor devil will be scolded and sent to help clean up the rubble or in the medical tent. War is neither the place nor the time for flirting! Especially if he's trying to flirt with you. Why did you even want to waste your time on him? You have so many nobles to choose from, aren't they good enough? Isn't he good enough? He needs to try even harder... And his spiral of overthinking continues until you dispel his doubts with a kiss.
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my--moon · 3 months
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hihi!! i put in the last Leo request and it was just soo good I had to ask for another one, if that’s alright with you?! i’m just thinking about domestic, lazy mornings with him!! maybe with a daughter of poseidon?? anyways, you’re amazing and hope you’re having an amazing day ☺️☺️
❝ Morning-routine HC ❞
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Pairing; Leo Valdez X Fem!reader (Poseiden's Daughter) Warning; Idk, fluff, curse words!!! I'm doing headcanons this time, because I'm not bothered to write an actual fanfic. Sorry A/N; I am so sorry for taking so long man😭
So, you woke up in your cabin, and your gorgeous boyfriend, Mr Leo Valdez, was lying next to you, snuggled into your waist
Percy had most likely gone off to sleep in Annabeth's cabin or have a sleepover in Jason's, but either way—whole cabin to yourself and your lover.
Fuck yeah!
Once Leo would wake up—he'd immediately make a joke about 'what a fun night~' (you didn't do anything)
you'd giggle and laugh
It's all fun and games until you notice a Hickey on the back of his neck, but you stay silent
It would take like 17 minutes for Leo to actually get up and start the day
like he wakes up early, but he needs to process the trauma of waking up
just give him a minute, he'll get there eventually
once he's wide awake—he's assaulting you with kisses<33
like bro is not fucking around with kisses!!!
there either light and soft or hard and passionate
Literally no inbetween
once you both get up for the day, he starts making breakfast
You cannot change my mind—he's a great chef
he'll whip up some waffles (he made them blue and left out some for Percy when he comes back 💕)
he's really goofy in the morning
He's an early bird and a night owl tbh (depends on the day)
HES A HEAVY SLEEPER
my man could sleep through world war 2 tbh
You once had to splash him with water to wake him up
To wake you up however, he made music with his tools
By music I mean aggressively tapping his screwdrivers together in a catchy beat 😭
If you do skincare in the morning, he so joins you.
He'd put on a face mask like you💕
He does that weird thing with the ChapStick where guys hold it wrong. 💀
Man has a slutty waist, and I'll be damned if I don't grab it.
lots of cuddles and kisses in the mornings
after breakfast he has caffeine and suddenly the energetic Leo we all know replaces the sleepy and clingy boy you just saw
His hands. Intertwined with yours? UGHH 🤍🤍
(Let's be real, he has a matching pj set with you)
he buys/makes a lot of plushies for you, so your he'd is filled with them
he gave you a hello Kitty plush (the Hawaii addition plush!!!), you affectionately named it Dora, once and he claims ‘its our child!!!’.
It's the one below<33
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When your out on a quest, he steals Dora and she stays in his room until you come back to him, bless his heart🫶🏼
He always makes your coffee JUST how you like it. if you don't like it or if he made it wrong, he'll take your coffee for himself and make you another
he's not wasting coffee guys
🤍🤍🤍
He's such a perfect boyfriend
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onskepa · 1 year
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Na'vi mating with humans headcanons [Poly].
Hello everyone, so I must confess, I have been looking at some Avatar [NOT THE LAST AIRBENDER] 1 and 2 "the way of water" stuff. From fics, to fanart, headcanons, all that good stuff. So here I am reading all this amazing stuff and I thought, "why not put my 2 cents in it?" so while I dont have any fics, I thought I share some headcanons of my own.
Most I have noticed is using either Na'vi reader, or Human reader. And/or both if the author has their person of interesting be an avatar, being in a poly relationship with our two lovely couples: Jake & Neytiri, and/or Tonorwari & Ronal.
And, if it is not a poly relationship, it be a normal two person relationship, that being with either [Tsu-tey, Ronal, Tonowar, Jake, Neytiri, Norm, etc]. Reading all those stories I have begun to list a few things.
In this first headcanon, its going to be as the title suggest, Na'vi with human. If you guy's wish to use some of this stuff as inspiration or ideas for your future fic's, I am cool with it, but please credit me. Anywho, lets start.
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Olo'eyktan & Tsahik
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(btw this is for any Na'vi tribe in general not just for Tonowari and Ronal)
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I feel as the two top leaders of the tribe, having a human as their third mate can mean many things.
Such as: Having a human for a mate shows their rank of status in the tribe. If being leaders weren't enough.
After a long day of doing their duties, they go home happy knowing their little mate is waiting for them to relieve their stress. In more ways than one. {use your imagination I aint going that deep]
Having a human mate will influence how they view the world. The Na'vi seeing their world as its ecosystem as normal as it can get, while the humans see it so different and something so beautiful. The humans may see the same thing every single day but sees it as it was something new to them over and over.
Have a change of paste in life. Talking and sharing things with their human mate is something the leaders look forward to at the end of the day.
The leaders being excited or happy with their human mate wants to know more of something or ask them questions. The leaders seeing it as a sign they their mate relies on them for information.
Speaking of, they enjoy it when their human mate searches for them, having their small eyes only on the leaders and no one else. They can get very protective and if not, a bit possessive should another Na'vi get too comfy with their human mate.
would hiss or give the other Na'vi a warning before shooing them away. Might get a scolding from their human mate but will shrug it off and lead their little human somewhere else.
Should the Tsahik get pregnant, the Olo'eyktan wouldn't be as stressed or worried that their Tsahik is in a vulnerable state. Having their human mate near the Tsahik calms the Olo'eyktan a bit. Since the Tsahik wont be alone.
And if the human is trained in the ways of healing, then the human mate would help the Tsahik if she were to feel morning sickness or dizziness. Giving the Tsahik comfort and a sense of peace.
Assist the Tsahik in duties in which she cannot anymore due to her belly growing. Things that require bending down, gathering plants, and herbs, grinding them, or anything that require lots of energy.
Once the newborn Na'vi is born, automatically, the human mate will be their second parent. Cherishing and nurturing the new born.
when the Tsahik is busing once again with her duties. The human mate will make sure the baby has their needs met, make sure they are clean, fed, and overall comfy with, hopefully, little crying as possible.
Having soft skin brings great benefit for Na'vi baby as they will cling more so the softer and warmer texture. Showing big trust and love to their third parent.
As the Na'vi baby grows, they become attached to all three parents, but will secretly favor their human parent. Since they bring a type of comfort that is different from their other two parents.
Since being the child of the two leaders, they wont have much time to play with their child as much as they want to. So the human mate comes in and plays while teaching showing around the Na'vi baby. Will continue to as the baby grows.
Being a human mate/parent to the Na'vi is something refreshing and somehow brings great comfort to all. Being so small yet have a massive mind and spirit.
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is it. I might add more or change of few things. I am ok with what I put but I know I can do better. If ya'll want more or something else, I don't mind. Thank you for reading this!
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ykscarlett · 3 months
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headcanons || valeria garza || pt.1
warning: this is only my opinion about her!!, minors dni, a slight mention of smut, lesbian relationship, a little bit angst ig, grammar, if I missed something, please write to me about it.
a/n: the first post. I'm really looking forward to your opinions and reblogs.
copying, translation, and use hc without my permission is prohibited & ykscarlett only on tumblr
with love, scarlett
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My headcanons about Valeria (without mentioning revealing her as ‘el sin nombre’ and meeting with Ale) + bonus "if you are finally in a relationship with Valeria."
A former officer of the Mexican Special Forces, and now the leader of a criminal cartel, can show feelings? Can she be gentle to someone? Seriously?
Or maybe to lo– no, not to love, but rather, it's very good to improvise that she feels something for her partner, because she is very good at pretending. Too good, I'd say.
Love is something unknown to her.
Something that she failed to feel both as a child and in adulthood.
Something forbidden.
Something that she is deprived of and that she will never feel.
Let's be honest, she won't be able to love someone.
But I'm not saying she doesn't need love.
She didn't read the romantic books that all her girls-classmates flowed from. (and yes, her parents forced her to get a good education first, and then go into the military)
She didn't date anyone from school, while other girls switched boyfriends.
She realized that she was attracted to girls only at sixteen, when a pretty stranger in a club kissed her.
And she always used girls only to satisfy her pleasure. Of course, there are hints of sadism in her, after all, she personally tortures all her prisoners, but sexually there is a difference.
She will never cause real pain.
It can humiliate you, it can turn you into a wet, whimpering mess, it can make you faint from the pace and overexcitation, but it will never hurt if we engage in intimacy with you.
Well. In her opinion, love is overrated. This feeling is nothing more than a facade of a person's emotional weakness. And Valeria cannot allow herself to be weak in something, and especially towards someone.
But if you ask her "What is love for you?", I think she will answer something like this: "It's hard to explain.. it can mean something different to everybody. It's a feeling, a connection between people. A desire to protect someone more than yourself, and to be there for each other, no matter what. And it can be an incredibly powerful force, one that can change the world and bring people together in unexpected ways. For some, love is simply a chemical reaction, a biological instinct driven to perpetuate and propagate our species. And for others, it's a mystical concept that transcends time, space and logic."
She was definitely not in a real healthy relationship, I guarantee you that. And there's not much time for love when your life is constantly under threat. She had many affairs with girls and women, several with men (there were only two of them, the first was a trial, the second was proof that the opposite sex had no chance with her; and no, she did not date Alejandro, if they were together, Mexico would be on fire)
She's in the drug trade, man. This is unacceptable to me, drugs are evil, but in the case of Valeria... I do not know how to justify this, it is unacceptable to me.
She's a first-class manipulator. She can achieve absolutely anything she wants, only if she really wants to. Single–mindedness is another important character trait of hers. She will use any goals and any connections, any ways and break any rules to get what she has in mind... Or who.
But Val is not as bad as you think, I'm describing her. I think she just won't let herself fall in love. She's afraid of hurting someone she loves...to whom she will get attached because of her activities. She is engaged in criminal cases and every night she falls asleep (if suddenly, thank God, she gets the opportunity) with the thought "will I survive tomorrow?".
She's being hunted. Many. She runs a huge drug cartel, makes big deals, runs criminal gangs... Another reason to be alone and sometimes ask an assistant to order a little fucktoy.
But what if you win her heart so that she practically forgets about all her principles?
Bonus.
How you got to her, decide for yourself, whether it's captivity, recruitment or your own decision. There are many options.
At first, she will deny feeling for you.
Literally.
She will try to avoid you everywhere and in everything, she will start talking even colder, but she will surreptitiously watch you and with her own hands she will take care of that bully who is part of her cartel to show him that it is better not to even talk to you, let alone touch your waist. I don't think I need to say that the next day, and in fact, he will never appear in this building.
Initially, she will be a 'secret' lover. She will show signs of attention, but as imperceptibly as possible and goddamn you will understand that this is her, this is a woman who has not been trained in anything.
You will hook her, most likely, not with beauty, but simply with yourself. Time is important for Valeria, if it does not concern one-night stands. Time to take a closer look, time to realize, time to fall in love, time to come up with a way to confess, time to try to forget you, time to realize what really is...fuck..fell in love.
She notices the little things.
She is very attentive and sometimes it's even creepy. She notices if you have eaten before she sends you to transfer the goods, if you have not eaten, then she will send one of her assigned ones along with a package of typical goodies. She notices you drawing little drawings in the margins of your notebook while she talks about upcoming deals. She notices that a patch has appeared on your index finger, apparently you accidentally cut yourself with a knife again, imagining yourself *some famous chef* and be sure that there will be a pack of patches and one flower on your bedside table.
Valeria has never liked flowers. But for your sake, she became addicted to the colors of red. Red...as blood...and even here she went crazy. In my opinion, she would always give a long red rose with uncut, sharp thorns.
Without noticing it, she becomes softer towards you than towards her other 'employees'.
Since she is a woman with money, she can pamper you with gifts that you have been dreaming about for a long time, and the cartel's personal courier will say that it is from an old relative/aunt/former classmate/fourth cousin on dad's sister's side.
Okay, let's move away from the period of easy falling in love and move on to some of the facts that await you in a relationship with her.
Her gentle nature may or may not reveal itself. She can gently kiss your lips and easily cover your entire neck with bruises, which is why you get sidelong glances from your teammates and an arrogant look from V. She can gently and slowly play with your pussy, treating it like a crystal vase, or she can spank your pussy, bite your hips until red stripes appear and fuck hard with a strap-on.
Speaking of the latter, she doesn't have many. One is standard, one that you can safely accept and enjoy it, the second is an ordinary dildo with protruding parts and the third is a long one if you've done something and she can't wait to vent her disappointment on you.
Before entering into an intimate relationship with you, she will definitely discuss what is acceptable for you, what is not and what is categorically not. This is another manifestation of love on her part.
If you return wounded after the mission, she will swear at everyone and take you to her office, where, cursing menacingly, she will begin to treat your wounds, after which she will gently kiss each one, as if taking all the pain for himself.
Another bonus.
A few days ago, she asked you to sleep with her. Of course, you agreed, and a few minutes after her proposal, you were lying on her chest in her big bed, in which she practically does not sleep, because sitting on a chair is more familiar to sleep and she stroked your hair. She can't help but wonder why she's showing such tenderness to you. Her brain tries in every possible way to reason with her, to return her to her usual cold and inaccessible lifestyle, to her comfort zone. But she moves away from these thoughts to thoughts of you, who is peacefully snuffling on her chest like a child.
Grinning at the comparison of you with a child, she pretended not to think about how just yesterday you sucked on her tits, sucking them to such an extent that your drool flowed between her large and soft breasts, continuing to stroke your head and occasionally kissing your forehead.
///
But she was gone for a long time last night. She's back in her office. You knew that for sure. Before your relationship, you often ran to her about assignments and even late at night she was always there.
So you got out of bed, wrapped yourself in a blanket, put on your slippers and went to her office. You knocked.
"Busy." Her menacing voice rang out.
She's unhappy about something, you thought, and whispered. "Valeria? May I?"
When she heard your voice, she froze in place and only after a few seconds shouted, "Come in, cariño."
You went inside and sure enough, Garza's desk was filled with papers, empty coffee cups and wrappers from her favorite candies. I'm sure she has a sweet tooth. It sounds silly, but I think it's almost the only thing that will make her smile out of pleasure, not disgust or something like that.
"Can't you sleep without me?" She replied sarcastically.
"Yes." You answered quite seriously and she understood it.
She patted her knees and said meekly, "Come here, dulzura."
When you sat down and put your arms around her neck, resting your head on her shoulder, she leaned her ear against the top of your head and put one arm around your waist, continuing to work with documents.
"Sit here for now. I'll be done soon and we'll go to bed, I'll take you to bed. Sleep well...mi pequeña princesa."
covers: https://pin.it/5K9iR3NJ7
the meanings of some words in Spanish:
cariño - darling
dulzura - sweetness
mi pequeña princesa - my little princess
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dulcewrites · 1 year
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Fool Me Once (part 5)
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader (Aegon ii x reader 👀) (wc: 6k)
Summary: As the further truths are uncovered, the battle for the Iron Throne begins
A/N: soooo, I said part 5 would be the last part, but in typical annoying writer fashion I’m not so sure now 😭. Either way, I truly cannot express how grateful I am for all the followers, and support I have received since starting it. I consider fmo my brain child but our baby with how interactive people have been. I’d love to get feedback or request on what hotd stuff you guys want to see from me. My inbox is always open so please let me know how you liked fmo (any thoughts or headcanons) and what you want to see 🫶🏽
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“We should run away to Yi-Ti.”
You look up from Aemond’s desk at Aegon with an exasperated expression. It was not the first time Aegon had thrown out the idea of leaving King’s Landing for good. There always an idealistic nature about Aegon that is as sweet as it is delusional. You know the guilt he would feel about leaving, and he knows you would too.
I have a dragon we can who can drop us anywhere. I can shave my head and we can change our identities
“You are supposed to help me be looking for this map,” Not bothering to give the same speech you tell him every time he brings it up.
Gently placing everything where you found it, you squat down to check the cabinets of the desk. Aemond kept his study annoyingly tidy, and you are sure we would notice if anything were out of place. The last thing you need is another argument.
There are multiple books, all of them relating to Westerosi histories, and a plethora of written works of poetry. Nothing stands out till you find a pile of letters. Your throat tightens. It shouldn’t hurt anymore, but now the situation has moved past just Aemond wanting to be with someone else. It affects your kids, your relationship with everyone in the family.
You are just tired, and you just want it end. Or at least to have some sort of closure through an explanation or an apology. You are not holding your breath for the later.
With a sigh, you sit, slumped against the wall. Across from the desk. Noticing you are out of his view, Aegon walks around the desk and sits next to you. The two of you sit in silence before Aegon speaks.
“We can skip dinner,” he suggests softly. “I am sure our absence will not be noticed.”
It is a lie. You both know that if you do not show up, you will be in for an earful from Alicent. Especially now that Viserys has finally worked up the strength to leave his chambers. Aegon reaches over to grab your hand. You look at the large ring on his pinkie finger. The golden scales an ode to Sunfyre. Even with all the problems Aegon has with family, he has always fully embraced his dragon. A bond you have never seen before between rider and dragon. You run your hand over the cool metal.
“You know, despite my hesitance towards dragons, sometimes I am envious of you guys for having them.” you laugh flatly. “It is not even the beasts themselves, but everything they represent. This strange strength that means you are better than everyone else. A free pass for destruction.”
The past year and a half had been a sobering one. You feel so disconnected from yourself. Depleted by actions outside of your control.
“But then I think maybe it is good I do not have a dragon; or more so I do not have the power that comes along with it. I have spent my whole life doing exactly what I was supposed to, just to still get dealt a hand of misfortune,” you murmur emotionless. “I fear that there was tiny seed of hate put in me when I first found out about Aemond’s actions, and that everything that has happened since has only made me more bitter and revengeful. I was told that fighting wrong doings with more destruction was never the answer. I do not know how much I believe that now.”
You look over at Aegon with an illegible look in your eyes. “I would go mad with the things I would do with that kind of power.”
Aegon swallows thickly. Honestly, his first instinct is to make a joke. You, the girl who got teary eyed when she learned about the field of sheep kept in the Red Keep for the dragons, speaking with such gravity. But his eyes travel to the faded scar on your arm and back up to you. The harm done to yourself, grief-stricken eyes, and tired frown. He’s only seen that type of look on his mother. The most persistent person he has ever known, and probably will ever know. She wakes up every day to tend to a man that has never done right by her and run a kingdom she did not want in the first place. There is a simmering type hate in your eyes that he is sure only comes from being around his family for too long.
He wonders if this is how his mother felt when she had him. Young, exhausted, and utterly pissed.
“You are not the only one who feels that way,” he softly. “But - you cannot let it get the best of you. Once you get in that place, it is hard to get out.”
You know he speaks from experience. Resentment leaves a bad taste in the mouth of those who feel like life has let them down.
You want to say that another worry is what will happen if you ever find equal footing with the men in your life. Would the spell wear off you were a flight risk? Would you be seen as a volatile powder keg if not a maiden to come to the defense of? Would you be seen as the prize in his eyes if you were not in the position you ate in? In that moment, you think you should tell him about what you let his grandsire do. If anyone would understand, it would be Aegon. Instead, you lean your head against his shoulder.
You do not have the words for that just yet.
————
The search for the map in Aemond’s study goes unsuccessful. You decide to change tactics. There is a slight uneasiness you get digging through his things in the chambers. Soft whiff of lavender and citrus hit you nose as you look through folded clothes of his. You heart rate spikes when you see a scroll of thin parchment. Looking back to check the door, you then unroll the paper.
There is various lines and arrows, but the words are all in high Valyrian. You have picked up and word here and there since being in the Red Keep, but not well enough translate every word. Instead, you follow the arrows. Walking around the room in a way you are sure would look silly to someone if they walked in.
You find yourself in front of the small outline wall next to your clothing wardrobe. Blinking blankly at the wall, you frown. You run your fingers gently across the fabric on the wall. The deep red and gold stitching smooth under your hands. You push harder than intended and gasp when the wall swings open.
In front of you are stairs that lead down a pathway. A tunnel. You do not venture too far, but you see where the path is leading to. Daemon had given Aemond a direct line to outside the Red Keep. And a direct line for anyone to come in.
But why?
As you walk down the tunnel, something shiny catches your eye on ground. You pick up a single earring. A gold plaited coin earring. It is oddly familiar, but you cannot seem to put your finger on who it belongs to.
All you do know is that someone has been using the tunnel recently.
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A part of you wanted to storm through the castle and find Aemond. Have him explain what the Seven Hells has been going on. Or if he even used the tunnels. But you surprise yourself when you knock on the Hand’s study door. Perhaps he is not the best person to go to in this state. You know it is not comfort you will find. But for all his faults, Otto Hightower will tell you want you need to hear or at least you will have his ear.
You are now not naive to how much Lord Hightower seems to want to keep you around.
After it was decided Aemond and you were to get married, you were not clueless enough not see the clear advantages not only for you house, but also for his. Your only naive thought being the mutual benefit would keep you safe or protected.
When you walk into the study, you find Otto sitting at his desk, staring out of the window. You know Viserys’ surprise appearance at the petition hearings rattled him as much as it pleased Rhaenyra and her family. You do not know where to begin or what you are even expecting of this conversation.
“Did you know about the tunnels,” you blurt suddenly. “The ones that run under the castle.”
In typical Otto fashion, his face does not give anything away. But he does shake his head, and gestures for you to continue.
“I…. I think Prince Daemon may have had something to do with my… problem.”
That makes Otto lean forward in his seat, the mention of Daemon clearly stirring something in him. You aren’t ready to put anything on Princess Rhaenyra yet. Partly because you are still wonder where her limits are opposed to seeing exactly how Daemon operates. And because just saw what happens when you question Rhaenyra, even if you have proof or a valid criticism.
“And if they had something to do with her, I cannot help but wonder if they had something to do with what happened to Alaric’s blanket,” you still shudder thinking about it.
You already had a deep sense of guilt since giving Otto the go ahead to find Alys. Taking a life is not something you want on your hand and conscious, and it only doubles knowing how this all could have been a perfectly plotted scheme. Your anger at your husband reaches a new level. Whether Alys was the shiny poisoned apple or a woman in love that has gone rouge, this still involves your kids.
“It seems your family’s influence is something many have noticed,” Otto finally speaks, voice gravely and tone even.
Your brows furrow. “They think threatening my son is going to make me tell my parents or uncle to back Rhaenyra’s claim?”
Your grandsire was an old man by the time Rhaenyra was named heir; your uncle took over for your house shortly after that time. And your uncle was just as thrilled as your parents when you married Aemond, clearly excited to have familiar ties to the Targaryen family. Now that you thought about it, you had never asked him where he stood when it comes to Rhaenyra being heir. But based on knowing how your family acquired their wealth and how they operate, they have never been ones to stray from tradition. Despite your grandsire bending the knee to Rhaenyra, you get the feeling everything is up the air especially with you being the good sister to the other possible claim.
“No, dear girl,” Otto sighs, eyes growing tired. “But I am sure they think you feeling unsafe here and having no love for your husband’s actions will.”
Your mind goes back to Rhaenyra’s offer. You are always welcomed at Dragonstone.
They hoped you would seek refuge in them, and in turn feel compelled to drop any allegiance you have to this side of the family. Did they know about how close you had grown to Aegon or to Helaena? Or that even through this turbulent time, you still find yourself having a soft spot for Alicent. You are sure they would reassure your safety if you ever switched side, but you know your safety was not a priority to them. Only the men or ships that would come with it.
“I am not shocked Daemon would go to such lengths, if true,” Otto says. “I would say I am shocked Rhaenyra would go along with it, but the Princess has always found a way to involve herself in things while feign innocence.”
His words make you raise a brow. You never knew if the Hand’s anger towards the Princess came from how she treated Alicent or his grandchildren, or if it came from the pressure he felt to get Aegon on the throne. Perhaps it is Alicent, even all this time and animosity, still craving a relationship with Rhaenyra that eats him up the most.
“You do not need to worry about that. Everything will be put to rest once the rightful heir is put on the throne, and any possible threats have been ridden,” his tone turns stern. You scoff sardonically in response. This is never going to end till there is a clear winner, and win to means there was a fight. War. That would only start if…
“The Queen would never let you do that. Usurp the throne or kill Rhaenyra,” you say immediately. Otto eyes narrow; the tell. It will always be Rhaenyra for his daughter, and it burns him inside. But that can be used in your favor. “Not unless she had more reason to. Rhaenyra could be a good queen for all we know, but her brazenness will always be her pitfall. Now she has Daemon at her side. Spilled blood is clearly not something he is worried about.”
You sit back in your chair and think for a second. Entitlement is like a dangerous herbal, and many members of this family get off on it.
“If you want Aegon on the throne, it may be best to take your time with this. Give Rhaenyra the chance to do what you think she does best… mess it up.”
By the time the power struggle between Rhaenyra and Daemon finally comes to fruition, maybe Aegon think differently. Your mind goes to Aemond, stewing silently about how his brother manages to get everything handed to him. You bite back a smile. Is a miserable existence to always be in the cards for him? If being with you is so terrible to him, maybe that is exactly what he deserves.
“I think I know how to start this off.”
———
You leave Otto’s study, but not before he leaves you with a long, meaningful glance and tells you he needs to discuss somethings with others. You assume it is the council, but you have a feeling his daughter is not privy to that.
The next time you see everyone is at dinner. Your eyes strained on the empty plate in front of you. A sick feeling coming over you every time you look down the table at Daemon and Rhaenyra. A large gap for the king between Rhaenyra and Alicent.
There is something unsettling about how everyone seems to think what happened in the Grand Hall was nothing. You all saw a man beheaded, and now are to sit down to a "family meal" at the behest of the King. The only mention of Vaemond comes in a prayer from Alicent; you catch the eyeroll given by Daemon. The lives of others are expendable if it prolongs or prompts up whatever claim is being fought for.
False promises do nothing to move you while that is all that makes up the Targaryen family. False promises to make up for future deceit. The gull of Viserys to plea for peace when many the broken relationships in the family can be tied to him. Tied to his indecisive, feeble reign as a king. The King That Never Should Have Been perhaps.
A sick sense of irony rushes over you watching his rioting body and empty eye socket while sitting next to Aemond. You have learned that the Gods can be deliciously cruel.
The crown not stand strong is the House of the Dragon remains divided
It’s all flowery words that seem to go in one ear and out the other for your peers. You can tell by the way Aegon’s eyes gloss over, Helaena brows burrow as she fiddles with whatever butterfly Aegon gave her, and how Aemond’s back stiffens that this final push for family unity comes too late. But it seems that all the older adults in the room are moved by the Viserys' speech, or at least Alicent and Rhaenyra are.
You and Otto, sitting across from each other, share a look when Alicent says that Rhaenyra would make a fine queen. The Queen and Princess exchange shy smiles and peripheral glances; for a moment, they look like young girls, untarnished by the world around them.
Your eyes catch Jacaerys’, and he gives you a warm smile. You try to replicate it to the best of your ability. None of Rhaenyra or Daemon’s children have done anything to make you suspicious of them, especially Baela and Rhaena. But you do notice how Lucerys never seems to look you in the eyes. You are still trying to figure out if that is a byproduct of you being Aemond’s wife or if he is privy to information.
When you were receiving offers for your hand, Jacaerys’ name had come up by members of your house but was instantly shut down by your parents. Though the idea of you being future Queen of the Seven Kingdoms was tempting, but they did want to risk the embarrassment of the worst kept secret being spoken. Marrying a bastard was not the vision they had for you, Queen or not.
But when the music behinds, you do get an idea.
“I going to dance,” you whisper to Aemond.
“You know I do not like dancing,” Aemond sighs, and Aegon gives you a look at the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes at him. You remember the lecture his mother had to give him before the wedding festivities about being a good sport, and dancing with you.
“I never said I wanted to dance with you,” you hiss at him, and get up. You feel Aemond and Aegon watching you as you walk to Jace.
“I was wondering if we could dance,” you hold your hand out. Eyes going from Jace to Baela. “If your betrothed is fine with it of course.”
Baela gives you a good-natured shrug and smile. Jace looks surprised by your offer, but nonetheless grabs your hand and leads you to the free area near the table. You turn back briefly to see Aegon and Aemond look at you with mirrored looks of disbelief and disgust. You have duck your head to keep from laughing.
“I have to warn you I am not much of dancer,” Jace smiles as you begin to dance. “But I am sure I cannot be any worse than my uncle.”
You raise a brow at the comment but say nothing. While you are dancing, you see Viserys get carried out. The fact that he has lived to this point is a marvel… and a confusion. He refuses to go away.
“I do hope after that all of this, our families can see each other more often,” he lowers his voice slightly. The sentence seemed sincere enough, but he has also grown up having pretend half of him does not exist. If it is something Alicent and Rhaenyra’s children have in common, it is knowing when to put on a front. They learned it beautifully from their mothers. “I am sure Daella would appreciate seeing Dragonstone. And the girls would love you around.”
There is that mention of Dragonstone again. Before you can even reply, a commotion disturbs you. You turn to see Aemond standing with a drink in his hand.
“I want to make some final tributes,” a small smirk comes onto his face, and his eye flicks over to you. “First, to my dear wife. A gracious mother, and always keeps me on my toes.”
Your face gets hot when everyone’s eyes turn to you. Alicent looks at her son with a nervous look in her big eyes, confused by his sudden need to speak after a dinner of silence.
“And to health of my nephews - Jace, Luke, and Joffrey,” a sinking feeling comes into your stomach. There’s a glint in Aemond’s eye that you recognize all too well, and know not to trust. You see Jace’s shoulders tense at the mention of him and his brothers. “Each of them handsome, wise…. Strong.”
Your throat tightens. Even putting aside, the absolute irony of that coming from him now, you all just saw what happened to someone who questions the parentage of them. And now he is doing here in front of everyone.
“Aemond,” you begin, not even caring to use formalities with him. He cuts you off and continues.
“Come, let us drain our cups to the three Strong boys.”
And of course, to make matters worse, Aegon confidently raises his goblet in the air. They’re imbeciles. Everything seems to happen in slow motion - Jace punching Aemond, Aemond pushing Jace with ease, to out of the corner of your eye, Aegon slamming Luke’s face into the table. You wince at the scene before you as Helaena gets up to move you out of the way of the guards restraining Jace and Luke.
Alicent and Rhaenyra both get up from the table, yelling at their boys to stop. You take notice of the roasted pig on the table; you had heard about the pink dread prank from Helaena. It was never something you pushed with Aemond or Aegon, knowing it led to a large rift in their relationship. You know they love each other; you can tell by the way they backed each other up that they do. They just do not have the words to express their love, or their pain.
A dinner that was meant to bring everyone together ruined. There will probably always be too much bad blood, and not enough honest or apologies for reconciliation. Before Daemon leaves the room after staring Aemond down, he gives you a smile filled with mirth. A chill runs up your spine.
You watch as Alicent all but walks up to Rhaenyra, eyes soft and pleading. She gently rubs her arm as they smile at each other.
With the dinner going wrong, Aemond stalking out of the room, and learning about the map - everything seems to be put into perspective. As you watch your good mother, you wonder if that is how you will be with Aemond. Always waiting and ready for reconciliation, even despite mistreatment. Foolishly dismissive to how you can be hurt again if it means just moments of reprieve. Or maybe a better comparison would be Rhaenyra and Daemon. Knowing exactly what situation you got into, but still finding yourself wanting more because you thought you would be the exception. Both scenarios mean being in a constant loop of love and hate, praying for the day you reach apathy.
Rhaenyra seems to share Alicent’s warm disposition. Everything is warm and lovely when Rhaenyra smile. She is the Realm’s Delight for a reason. Even with the little time you have spent around Rhaenyra, you see how she operates. It is the way all Targaryens are treat her like the world revolves around her, and she’s yours. Entitlement and confidence used to mask a hallow shell, a trait she shares with her husband.
The possible reconnection of old companions would be a sweet affair. Instead, you finally get the complaining Aegon does about his half-sister. To hear the praises of those who have little regard for you.
Daemon giving Aemond the map, Alys introduction into your life, Rhaenyra telling you Dragonstone will always be a place you can go, and your families ties to this family are all connected. The same way your marriage to Aemond was always leading to something.
It was always a question you pondered since coming to the Red Keep. Does the Iron Throne corrupt those who vie for it or do those who vie for it corrupt the Crown itself?
Now not only have you been caught in the crossfire, but you children as well. And who knows what will come of the rest of your family once King Viserys dies. One thing you do know is that you will not leave any stone unturned by the time Rhaenyra tries to sit the throne. If your involvement is what they want, your involvement is what they will get. If your happiness and well-being is worth the price of the throne, what would happen if it was taken away right when she had it? Like your stability or sanity, ripped away without any caution or care.
This power that Rhaenyra is sure is hers to claim. The one that those want so badly for Aegon. The seat Aemond watches enviously as Aegon scoffs at the idea of it.
“Princess Rhaenyra,” you call out after her before she leaves the dining hall. You reach out to grab her hand in a similar manner to Alicent. “I want to talk with you about Dragonstone.”
If they are willing to rip each other apart for the Iron Throne, so be it.
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Aegon and Aemond stare at you like you have three heads when you tell them about wanting to stay at Dragonstone. Aegon goes as far as to giggle at your proposal. His eyes wild and glossy from the abundance of wine.
A part of you thought maybe you should just leave, but you know them. There is nowhere you can go that they cannot find you on dragon back. Plus, you still had to explain everything to your parents. You let them in on you leaving while holding some cards to your chest. Their faces go through a mirage of expressions. Aegon's brows shooting up when you mention the tunnels and Daemon while Aemond's going painfully stoic. You know he does not want you or Aegon to get a read on what he is thinking.
"So, you think Daemon and by extension Rhaenyra knew about the Strong whore, and wanted you to be upset enough to leave," Aegon begins sardonically, and Aemond's eye flickers to him when he says whore. "And in response.... you are leaving. Wow dearest, you are really sticking it to them."
You glare at him. You know he is hurt that you are leaving, even if it is for a short time. He is upset that this all leads back to the throne. For every part of Aegon that is loyal and loves deeply, there are parts that are equally selfish. It hits you that Aegon has never had to try with relationships; the only ones he knows are with women that are his family or with ones where he can buy their affection. Those women have no choice but to be around. But you are leaving, and without him… that would be a blow he would not recover from.
"I am not going for long, and I will be taking Quinton with me," you say, and Aegon rolls his eyes in response. "They involved my son, so I will get to the bottom of it."
"I'm sure Jace will be thrilled to hear it," he scoffs.
"You have no right to be jealous; you are not my husband."
It was cruel to say, and you can tell by the way his resolve turns from anger to bitterness. "I am needlessly reminded of that, thank you."
Your brows furrow at that. Who is reminds him of that? You sigh, running your hands over your face.
“This is punishment. This is because of me.”
Aemond finally speaks up, interrupting your argument with Aegon. He looks away from the fire and at you with a look you have not seen in moons. Sadness. You are sure this news is a lot for him to take in. It would be a lie to say that you are not at least a little happy that he feels uneasy about you possibly leaving. Or a little happy that the love story he had built in his head was not exactly what it seems.
It would serve him right. He felt comfortable enough to do what he has done because there was always the expectation you would be around. Sitting in the Red Keep, taking care of your children and waiting to him to finally come around.
“Give us the room,” you whisper to Aegon. He leaves in a huff, not happy with you. You walk over and sit on the seat opposite to Aemond's.
The only noise that permeates throughout the room is the crackling of the fire in front of you two.
“It is foolish for you to think they would not harm you, especially now,” he starts to fiddle with his fingers, a tick he has picked up from his mother. “You would in place surrounded by her people… by dragons.”
“She would not hurt me. Not now, she wants my family’s support,” you rebut.
He does not answer right away.
“You would be giving her exactly what she wants. Us apart.”
Us. You two have not been an ‘us’ for quite some time, and Aemond referring to you as that makes you chuckle coldly.
“That’s the point, dear husband,” your eyes drift from him to the burning flames. “You know how your sister is. She wants everything entirely too much, and now she has a guard dog, planning and watching her every move. This just one step in her 'preparing' for the throne, and what may happen if she takes it."
“She is not fit for the throne. Neither of them is,” he says bitterly. “It would cut her up inside and out just like it did my….”
He trails off softly. Viserys was never made to be King, but then again who is. By the time everything falls into place, things will be different.
“So, we let it.”
Your conversation is stopped by Quinton opening the door for Jayne.
"Sorry, my lady but your parents were asking for you," she says softly. You notice how her eyes seem to survey the room. Taking inspection of anything and everything in it. Your parents watched Daella and Alaric for you during dinner. You nod in acknowledgment, but as you get up you notice the necklace she wears.
A gold plaited coin dangling on a dainty gold chain, perfectly matching the earring you found in the tunnel. Your blood runs cold.
"Thank you, Jayne," you stand up slowly as your eyes go to Aemond. You hope he can read something, anything from the look in your eyes. Your eyes travel to the wall where the secret door is. His eye looks at you, then to Jayne, and you watch him swallow and sink back into the chair.
"Ser Quinton, if you do not mind staying," Aemond says softly, going back to staring at the fire. "I have something I need you to tend to."
Quinton gives you a skeptical look, knowing the tense history between him and Aemond but you give him a reassuring smile.
Maybe it is time Quinton proves his unwavering loyalty to you.
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“I just need…. to get away,” it was not a complete lie. On top of having things to figure out, you were looking forward to getting away from the Red Keep. Even if it was to Dragonstone of all places.
Your father had giving you a skeptical look when you mentioned going to Dragonstone. You tell him this the perfect time for him to stay in King’s Landing in your stead. You whisper to him to stay close to the Hand and to Prince Aegon. When his resolve still did not chance, you told him about this being an opportunity for Daella to get connected to her ancestral home, and he understood. He always has a soft heart when it comes to his grandchildren.
It was your mother who gave you the most grief about the proposition. She stays in the room after your father has left.
“I do not think it is appropriate you leave your husband,” she sighs. “Especially at a time like this.”
It has always been her concern. Your allegiance to Aemond and in turn to the who she thinks should sit the throne. A part of you wants to tell her the plan. Maybe rub in her face that Aegon wants you.
But you know you would not be met with an impressed gaze or her questioning how your life has come to this place. Instead, she would ask why you haven’t debased yourself for him yet? Why haven’t you jumped at the chance to be in his bed, in his mind, under his skin the way real lovers do. Sometimes you look at Aegon and ask yourself the same questions. The most frustrating part is you know he would take you up on it. Aegon would indulge the most depraved parts of you because those of the ones he likes the most.
Your mother always manages to seep her way into things that should be good for you. It happened moons ago when you first became friends with Helaena. It is how you are in this mess now. Telling her about Aegon before the right time would be fatal. A blow to your plan, and the last remaining pieces of your heart.
“Perhaps he can come with you?”
“The point is to have some time away from each other. He thinks it would do us some good too.” Your spine feels tight as you are painfully aware of your posture in front of her, “The Princess offered, and it would be rude not take her up on it. She is till the heir till otherwise.”
Your mother stares at you for a moment. She scrutinizes every part of your face, the face she gave you wholly. Her only daughter. The person she has invested so much in.
“You always do this,” she starts coldly. “Shrivel up when things do not go your way. You have so much put in front of you, and you do so little with it. Leaving your husband when things are tough? I thought I raised you better than that.”
A lump grows in your throat. You are taken back to your wedding day. Your mother talking you through a panic attack, telling you to think of your future. That not going through with the marriage means throwing away years of work. In the end, you walked down the aisle. You followed through, and now the debt comes due. You are her biggest star, and her gravest disappointment.
Everything she could have had, and nothing she ever was at your age. You know your mother is happy with her position now, later in life. Reaping the benefits of your father’s house, but it was not always like that. There was never an opportunity to be draped in silk or have the ear of the royal family when she was your age.
“When this does not work, I hope you will not go running to your father.”
And with that she gets up and leaves you in the kids’ room.
You flinch when the door slams. As you sit in silence, you wonder if you would have gotten a different response if you told her about Alys. Maybe she would have pulled you into her arms like she did when you were younger. Deep down, you know she would have asked you what you did wrong; what did you do to make Aemond want to find comfort in another woman. Regardless of the pretenses, he still jumped at the first chance he got at something he saw as real. She would see it as a sign of failure on her part. She did not instill the right values in you to keep your husband happy. She has a funny way of flipping everything on its head, and yet you still crave any validation from her.
Your mother is as cruel as she is dutiful. As cold as she is charming. And as calculating as she is hurt and wounded by the world, she grew up in. The more your plan falls into place the more you find solace.
You are your mother’s daughter.
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