#literally me explaining to all of my friends why i want to finish this university | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writingonleaves · 8 months

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it's so hard to watch everything i want (everything i was spinning down the drain) - trevor zegras

pairing: trevor zegras x original female character

warnings: swearing, angst-ish, mentions of cheating (not between the two main characters), self-loathing, fluff

based on: "bleach" by 5 seconds of summer + "the archer" by taylor swift. title from "bleach"

word count: 15.6k

author's note: tried my hand at writing trevor's pov and it was Hard. this one means a lot to me personally so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! takes place at least five ish years from now so future fic alert!! trevor is finally employed again and that motivated me to finish this LOL

*****

Trevor Zegras is good at a lot of things. Remembering names and faces is at the top of the list.

It kinda makes sense. He’s been meeting and shaking hands with people ever since he was a teenager, most of them wanting something from him in one way shape or form. It’s not completely a bad thing. He wouldn’t have gotten this far without knowing who he was talking to.

So that’s why it’s such a surprise that it took him a whole damn hour to figure out why the wedding planner for Jack and Amelie’s wedding looked so familiar. Isabelle, she introduced herself as, and he keeps racking his mind to see if he knows an Isabelle, but he comes up empty.

As a groomsman, Trevor was expected to come to the venue earlier. He didn’t have to come a whole week earlier, but he had nothing else going on and the wedding’s in Michigan, so it wasn’t completely inconvenient for him. He just crashed at Jack and Quinn’s, to which the latter rolled his eyes at. But the soon-to-be-married couple were thrilled that he was coming early so they could put him to work, and he was more than happy to help out.

It’s halfway through assembling floral centerpieces when he shoots his head up to the wedding planner across from him. “Belle Holloway?”

Belle looks up with a small smile. “Been a long time since anyone’s called me that.”

“Holy shit. I knew you looked familiar. It’s been so long.”

“Z, are you bothering Isabelle?” Jack calls out from another table. “Please don’t scare her away. She’s been our lifesaver the last year.”

Belle chuckles. “You don’t need to worry, Jack.”

“Yeah, Hughesy. Belle and I go way back.”

Amelie is passing by and hears that comment, raising her eyebrows. “You two know each other?”

“We grew up in the same town,” Belle explains, tying a ribbon around a bunch of flowers. “My brother was in Trevor’s grade in school. They played hockey together for a bit before Trevor got too good and left.”

“Belle was probably the smartest girl in school,” Trevor adds with a hint of pride in his tone. “Can’t say the same about her brother. Where did you end up going to college?”

“University of Michigan.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jack smirk. Weirdo. He literally didn’t even go to Michigan.

Trevor whistles. “Still smart. Where is Connor these days? He went to UConn, right?”

“Yup. He’s with his wife in Chicago now. Doing something with finance.”

Trevor makes a mental note to reach out to his old friend the next time he’s in Chicago. “And little Lily?”

Belle chuckles. “Not so little anymore. She graduated from Parsons last year and works at Michael Kors as a designer.”

Trevor smiles knowingly. “Guess her styling Connor all those years paid off, eh?”

“Guess so.”

(Amelie and Jack are at another table working on centerpieces, overhearing this conversation. They give each other a knowing look as they keep eavesdropping. This is why Belle didn’t seem surprised during their initial consultation when they had to explain Jack’s hockey schedule and why he wouldn’t be able to adhere to the traditional timeline if he wanted to be at all the appointments. Little did they know, she already knew someone in the NHL)

She then asks about his family, because while Trevor was always her brother’s friend, their parents got to know each other pretty well to the point where they would go over to each other’s for dinner enough for her to remember. Trevor talks about how Griffin is off doing God knows what in Florida but having a good time at his sports marketing job and how Ava, who’s the same age as Lily, graduated from Elon and is now in the Philly area as a nurse.

They’re now moving pots of flowers around as they venture into their lives post-grad. “So have you been in Michigan this whole time?” Trevor asks.

“Yeah, though I had a brief stint in Santa Ana. This wedding is my last one here, actually, so a fun one to end on.”

Trevor follows her eye-line at the soon-to-be-newlyweds, who are now decorating the photo station but more fucking around then decorating. Amelie’s slapping Jack’s shoulder as he laughs loudly. Trevor smiles at the sight. “They’re great, aren’t they?”

“They are,” Belle admits. “I’ve worked with a lot of couples, but they’re one of my favorites. From the fact that they’re organized and flexible and so kind and understanding to the fact that they seem to be super in love with each other.”

“You said this is your last wedding here?” Belle nods. “Where you off to next?”

Trevor notices her stiffening a bit, and he immediately wants to take the question back. But the discomfort leaves as fast as it came. “Not sure. Gonna do some last minute packing up and then go home to New York next week to reset and figure it out from there. Connor offered his guest room in Chicago so I might take that. I have some friends that are dispersed around the country as well.” She shakes her head and switches topics and he makes a mental note of her vague answer. “Enough about me. How about you, Mr. NHL? Not gonna lie, when I saw Jack’s list of groomsmen, I had to brace myself mentally when I saw your name.”

“Brace yourself? What does that mean?”

Belle chuckles and his smile widens at the sound. “It’s been awhile, but not everything is different. I’m sure you’re still the life of the party everywhere you go, which means you’re at high risk of intruding on my meticulous plans on the day. Mind grabbing those shears for me next to you?”

He passes her the shears, standing up straight. “Jack’s conned you. He is way worse than I am.”

“Jack is also the groom so he knows that he has to listen to what I say if he wants things to go well,” Belle says. “How have you been, though? Has Anaheim been treating you well?”

“It has. The team’s great. The weather’s great. The beach is right there. Very different from Bedford.”

“Congrats on a great season. The playoff run was fun to watch.”

His eyebrow shoots up. “You watched?”

She shrugs a bit sheepishly. “If a game is on, I’ll usually watch. It’s like white noise to me now, after going to Connor’s, and I guess your games growing up. I went to a couple of Ducks games during the two years I lived in Cali.”

“And you didn’t reach out?”

She wipes her hands on her jeans. “I…you were always more Connor’s friend than mine. Didn’t want it to be weird.”

“It wouldn’t have been,” he assures. “Next time, let me know and I’ll get you tickets. You still have my number?”

“I do.”

“Perfect,” Amelie then comes up and seems like she has a question. “I’ll let you ladies be. Where’s your fiance?” He asks the bride-to-be.

“Quinn just arrived, so probably making sure the bar is all good, since you guys have your weird ass drink preferences,” Amelie says. “We should be almost done here though. Just have a couple last questions for Belle and then we’ll head back.”

Trevor snorts. “Typical. I’ll go find them.” He turns back to Belle with a grin. “Good to see you, Belle. Don’t be a stranger.”

Belle smiles. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Trevor promises, before walking away.

When things finally settle down a couple of hours later and he settles into one of the guest rooms for the night, he reflects back to his own childhood and memories of Isabelle Holloway, or Belle, as everyone used to call her. Brunette and green-eyed, Belle was decently quiet compared to him and Connor’s wild teenage boy energy, but she was talkative with her own friends and Trevor’s parents adored her. She loved Taylor Swift, and if Trevor looked into it deeper, her blasting her music around all the time probably got Trevor to like it purely through osmosis. She was always clean, happy to do the dishes and Trevor often caught her organizing the living room and basement without being asked. She was incredibly smart, always had her homework done before hanging out with her friends and seemed to always ace her classes with minimal difficulty. Even when Connor gave her shit just because he was the oldest sibling, she rarely dished it back. That kindness extended to all of Connor’s friends as well, including Trevor, even when they were loud and playing video games when she came home from school. Every memory he has of Connor growing up, Belle’s right around the corner.

Belle Holloway had always been too good to them. It’s a no-brainer that her profession is based on giving something to others.

He still follows Connor on Instagram, so he goes to his old friend’s page to find his sister’s page. She’s private, but he doesn’t hesitate on requesting her account. He goes to take a shower and brush his teeth and when he comes back to his phone, he’s delighted to see that she’s accepted his follow request.

Thus begins his stalking.

There’s not many posts to stalk — she only has 47 — but it does span the amount of years he lost touch with the Holloways. There are posts from her later high school years when Trevor had already left Bedford, and he smiles to himself when he sees the post from her high school graduation, with Connor, Belle and Lily all cheesing in one photo. There are various posts from her college years — she must’ve spent a semester or a summer abroad in Barcelona — mixed with some various travels from Yellowstone to Sweden to Miami. Then it gets less frequent after she graduates college, posts of the Michigan landscape, posts with friends on a night out, at a friend’s wedding, the rare photos of just herself. She notices there’s a guy in some of those posts, but no one’s tagged and the caption doesn’t reveal anything, so he figures it must be a friend or ex-boyfriend of some sort.

One thing that hasn’t changed much, he thinks, is how beautiful she is. As he scrolls on her Instagram and thinks back to seeing her earlier today, he kinda can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.

The day of the wedding comes by and it’s an early start for the bridal party. Trevor rolls into the Planterra Conservatory at 8:47 a.m. with coffees for himself, Quinn, Luke and Jack while Cole had gotten coffees for himself, Nico and Alex earlier. The suits are already hung up by the window of the spacious room and beers have already been opened.

“Starting off early, eh?” He sets down the coffees on the table.

“It’s a big day,” Luke calls out from steaming everyone’s suits.

“That it is,” he stops by the chair Jack is sitting in and gives him a hug. “Congrats, man. You nervous?”

“Nah,” Jack smiles. “More excited than anything.”

Quinn grabs his coffee and sits down. “I stopped by the bridal suite just a few minutes ago. Amelie said the same thing.”

Jack lights up at the mere mention of her. “I’m just anxious to see her, to be honest.”

Belle walks in then, clad in a light green jumpsuit and a tan blazer, with a bright smile on his face. “Oh good, Trevor made it. Everyone all good in here? Do you guys need anything?”

Jack grins. “We’re all good here, Isabelle. Thank you. I’ll holler if we need anything. Promise.”

She shoots the groom a semi-skeptical look before nodding. “Okay. I’ll check back in, in 30 minutes.”

“Do you need any help at all?” Nico asks.

She shakes her head with a thankful smile. “You all are too kind. I’m good. Michelle and I are manning the floor. She’s kinda doing my job better than I am, when she has her own bridesmaid duties to worry about.”

“Impossible.” Quinn remarks. “You’re fabulous at your job.”

Belle rolls her eyes fondly, and Trevor’s reminded that even though she’s the one running the show, she’s younger than a majority of the bridal party. “Flatterer.” She takes her phone out of her pocket and clicks her tongue. “Alright. I’m out.” She looks at Trevor with a pointed look. “Zegras. You better come find me if anything goes wrong.”

“Why are you entrusting that responsibility onto me?”

“Because I have so many stories about you that I could tell everyone if you don’t listen to me.”

Trevor gasps in mock offense. “Belle, oh Belle! Resorting to blackmail?”

The whole room laughs as she grins. She stops in front of him, a more serious look on her face. “Call me if anything goes wrong?”

“I gotcha.” He assures her with a firm nod and she shoots everyone one last grin before walking out. If his eyes linger on her, no one has to know.

(Everyone in the room knows. He doesn’t notice them all giving each other knowing smirks)

Jack speaks up first. “Z, if you end up hooking up with my wedding planner, give her a good time at least. She deserves it.”

“Jesus Christ, Jacky.” Trevor groans as everyone cackles. Thankfully for him, they drop it after that.

The next time he and Belle get to interact is after the ceremony — to which he couldn’t stop smiling watching one of his his long-time best friends marry the girl of his dreams, proudly watching at the front as they exchanged vows to love each other forever — when it’s time for pictures and Belle and the photographer are working together to direct everybody where they need to go. Belle stops directly in front of Trevor and focuses on fixing his boutonniere. Her tongue pokes out as she focuses on making it straight after several attempts. Even amongst a crazy day, he feels a sense of calm surrounding him.

She huffs. “Why won’t your boutonniere stay still?”

He smiles down at her cheekily. “On my worst behavior.”

She snorts, before softening. “Thank you for earlier.” He knows she’s referencing when there was a minor mix up with the rings right before the ceremony was about to start and Trevor got it under control within 10 minutes.

“Of course.”

She puts a piece of stray hair back on his head away from his forehead and he feels his heart flutter at her light touch. She smirks a bit. “On your best behavior today, actually. Like you promised.”

“Don’t count on it once the open bar hits.”

She laughs before moving on to fix Luke’s collar and Trevor gets a second to finally take a normal breath.

The next time he spots Belle is well into the reception, when the dance floor is full and the drinks are flowing and everyone is enjoying themselves. She’s nibbling on a slice of cake in the corner, eyes sweeping through the crowd with a small smile on her face

Trevor, who ditched his blazer after ‘Mr. Brightside’ brought the place down at least 7 songs ago, strolls over, hands in his slacks. “Haven’t seen you in a bit, Belle of the Ball.”

Her nose wrinkles. “No one’s called me that since I was 6.”

“A good wedding to end off on?”

“I think so,” she smiles, staring at Amelie giggling as she pours a bottle of champagne into Jack’s mouth. “You having a good time?”

“The best. And I’ve been to a lot of weddings. You did beautifully.”

Belle waves him off. “All in a day’s work.”

“Do you still have fun at weddings? Since you have to work them?”

“Yes and no,” she admits. ‘Yes, because the end result is always worth it and seeing the happy couple live their day is always worth it. No because now when I go to weddings of my friends and family, it’s hard to turn my work brain off.”

“Are you allowed to dance at your clients’ weddings?”

“I usually wouldn’t,” she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Make an exception for an old friend? To celebrate your last wedding in Michigan?”

She looks away for a second. “I don’t want to make Jack or Amelie feel weird.”

“Those two couldn’t care less. I’m sure they’d actually encourage it.”

He shoots what he hopes is an encouraging smile as he offers a hand. She looks at him for a couple of seconds before letting him help her up.

It’s perfect timing as ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift comes on and the once rowdy floor is calmer, with couples dancing with each other or families dancing with their kids. It’s a dance floor filled with love.

He guides Belle to put her arms around his neck as he carefully places his on her waist.

“I told Connor about seeing you again.” She starts

“Oh yeah? What did he say?”

“He told me to tell you to hit him up the next time you’re in Chicago.”

“Was already planning on it.”

“He also said and I quote ‘if the next thing I hear is that Zegras is dating my sister, I will kill him.’” Trevor tips his head back in laughter as Belle chuckles. “He’s lucky I never dated any of his friends. He had some cute ones.”

“Was I one of them?”

“Nice try. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, Trevor.” She says dryly. “Besides, I was kinda kidding. It’s not like you or any of his friends would’ve gone for me anyways.”

Now he’s confused. “What?” He thinks she’s joking, but from her face he realizes she’s not. “You do know that like, half of the hockey team had a crush on you, right?” She tips her head back in laughter as he squeezes her waist. “I’m not kidding. It annoyed Connor to no end.”

She snorts. “There’s no way.”

“Up to you whether to believe it or not. Just know that I never lie, Belle.”

She hums, and the way she’s looking at him makes his hands start sweating. He hopes she can’t feel it through her jumpsuit. “What you’ve done with your hockey career and everything, it’s really cool. I’m happy for you, Trevor. You deserve it.”

And he’s heard so many compliments about his career throughout his whole career, but it’s different coming from someone from his hometown. Someone who knew him before he left and knew what he was like before the NHL — before his days at the NTDP, even. Someone who has nothing to gain from complimenting him.

“Thank you, Belle. That-that means a lot coming from you.”

She just smiles back before they fall into a comfortable silence and keep dancing. He twirls her and does an exaggerated dip that has her giggling. They keep dancing and dancing, even as the songs change tempo.

(Amelie, who’s resting her feet right by the dance floor, nudges Jack and gives him a look. She picks up a disposable camera and points it at them, before taking her phone and also taking a picture. She has an inkling that Trevor and Isabelle may want these someday)

“What are you up to before the season starts?”

He shrugs. “I’m not sure, actually. I just need to be back in Anaheim for pre-season in three weeks.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Quinn and Jack have been letting me crash at their place. Don’t have an exact date of when I’m leaving yet.”

Belle snorts, though it’s paired with a smile that seems fond. “Still the same, huh, Trev?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your spontaneity used to stress my parents out, even back then. The reason they still liked you is because you could charm your way out of it.”

“I stressed Kurt and Susan out?” He says, actually worried.

“Oh, hush. It’s not that deep. My dad loves watching you play. There’s been many a family call where I hear a Ducks game on in the background. Unless it’s against the Rangers, of course, in which you don’t matter.”

“To be expected,” Trevor says, heart lifting at the fact that two people who used to drive him around so much still support him, even from afar. “Do they still live in Bedford?”

“Yup. Though with the amount of time my dad spends in White Plains golfing, you’d think they lived there now. He’s loving retirement, clearly.”

Trevor laughs. “I’ll have to hit up Kurt when I’m back for a couple rounds. Does Susan still make the best apple pie?”

“Yup. And everyone still raves about it when she brings it to parties.”

“You think she’d make me a slice?”

“She’d bake you three pies and send you home with them to Julie and Gary.”

He grins. “Never knew little Belle was this sassy.”

“Because you wasted all your time with Connor.” She shoots back with a laugh.

(Honestly, he thinks as he twirls her again, maybe she’s right. Who knows what could’ve been if he had seen Belle as more than just Connor’s quieter, talented sister.)

“You said you’re leaving next week?”

“Yeah. Just need to sort out some boxes to move to storage before driving back to New York.”

“You’re driving all the way back to Bedford?”

She laughs at his slight disbelief. “Well, yeah. It’s only a 10 hour drive.”

Suddenly, an idea pops into Trevor’s head, and before he can overthink it, he blurts it out. “What if I came with you?” She blinks, and he forges on. “I mean, I don’t have much going on and it’d be nice to go home before pre-season. I’ll help you load your car and pay for your gas and meals and-”

“Trevor, I-are you sure? You don’t have to…we literally just reconnected after not seeing each other for over a decade.”

“I know I don’t have to do anything,” he says, now trying everything to convince her. “If I’m overstepping, you can tell me and I’ll immediately lay off. But it just seems like…maybe some company could be nice. And we could switch off driving too.”

She bites her lip and tilts her head curiously, trying to find something in his face. It only took her a couple of seconds to chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sure. Why not? Come join me on my drive back home.”

He lights up, grinning widely. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“When are you planning on leaving?”

“Monday.”

In two days. Perfect.

“This is gonna be so fun. Just you wait.”

“I don’t doubt it. Fun seems to always follow you wherever you go.”

He has to let her go, since she has some last things to do as the wedding planner. He kisses her cheek quickly before he leaves the reception, to which Quinn raises an eyebrow at but doesn’t say anything. The next morning, during the quick and informal thank you breakfast for the bridal party at a nearby, fancy-ish brunch place, Jack throws him under the bus (“Saw you getting pretty comfortable with Isabelle yesterday,”) and he reveals their plan for the next day.

It might be one of the most TV show worthy reactions from every single person, bridesmaid and groomsmen. Luke chokes on his mimosa, Quinn shakes his head, Alex blinks, Nico has a shit-eating grin on his face, Jack smirks and Cole lets out a bark of laughter. The girls have all been filled in and equally have similar reactions. Amelie immediately says “you’re joking,” Michelle, at the same time as Amelie, says “ain’t no way,” Kaia, like Alex, just blinks. Nicole and Sarah’s jaws drop wide open, Annemarie starts cackling and Isla drops her fork.

“What?” Trevor responds, munching on his bacon. “Why all the reactions?”

“Z, are you sure about this?” Quinn asks, ever the voice of reason.

“Yes? It’s just a drive. Everyone needs a car buddy for that long of a drive. Gives me an excuse to go home too.”

“Trevor,” Amelie starts. “I think we’re all just a bit confused because this is…not that we don’t like Isabelle! She’s wonderful. But this just seems out of the blue.”

Jack snorts. “There’s nothing confusing about this at all.” Everyone, Trevor included, turns to look at the new groom, who just shrugs while taking a sip of his coffee. “He likes her.”

“For real?”

“Oh my.”

“Okay, Z! Atta boy.”

“Haven’t you not seen her for like, 10 years?”

“Have you liked her this whole time?”

“That’s crazy.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Trevor says above everyone’s exclamations. He waits until everyone’s settled. “I don’t like her. Not like that, at least. She’s just…I don’t know. It was good to see her again after so long. It felt like going back to old times. Simpler times.”

“It’s giving childhood friends to lovers,” Michelle says, making everyone laugh. Trevor rolls his eyes again and the subject is dropped.

Jack volunteers to drive Trevor to Belle’s before him and Amelie’s flight to Greece tonight for their honeymoon. He doesn’t leave Quinn and Jack’s place without chirps from every single person still there, gathering their things and cleaning up. He makes sure to leave with giving Amelie a tight hug and a fond kiss on her cheek before playfully glaring at everyone else as he leaves.

He climbs into the passenger seat. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”

“We’ve known each other since we were 16, Z.” Jack says, starting the car. “Nothing you do fazes me anymore.”

Trevor just hums, staring at one of his dearest friends who is now a husband. “Congrats, Jacky. I know I’ve said it a lot recently, but I’m really happy for you.”

A small smile spreads across Jack’s face, as he automatically goes to touch his wedding ring. “Thanks, man.” Silence falls between them. “Did you ever, even just the slightest, like Isabelle as more than a friend? And be honest with me.”

“No,” Trevor replies honestly. “I always knew she was kind and thoughtful, but she was always just Connor’s little sister and kept to herself and her own friends most of the time.”

“And now? Do you like her now?”

“I don’t know,” Trevor replies honestly. If Jack is shocked, he doesn’t show it. Trevor clears his throat, “We haven’t seen each other in over 10 years. I don’t know her enough anymore to know if I like her.”

Jack just hums. “Look, I…”

“You what?” Silence. “Jack.”

“Amelie and I got pretty close with Isabelle beyond her being our wedding planner. Maybe it’s because she’s close to our age or just easy to get along with. I think…she never told us directly, but I think something happened, Z.”

“What do you mean something happened?”

“Well, I wasn’t there, but her and Amelie went out for casual drinks once to plan some stuff out and Amelie was, you know, casually asking her about relationships and if she ever dreamed of her own wedding, and she got super…not defensive. But Amelie said it was like a switch turned on. All she said is that at some point she did, but she’s not at that point of her life anymore, and then she immediately changed the topic. It’s none of my business, I get that, but she’s also my friend, Z. Just…look out for her, okay?”

“Of course I will,” Trevor promises as Jack slows down in front of Belle’s house. They both climb out of the car and Trevor grabs his backpack, duffle and garment bag from the backseat.

“Thanks for driving.” Trevor embraces his friend in a tight hug.

“Anytime,” Jack says. “Thanks for everything this last week. And just in general. I love you.”

“Love you too, man. Have fun on your honeymoon.”

Jack smiles. “Thank you. You two drive safe, eh? Let Amelie and I know when you're back in New York.”

Trevor just nods, before walking up to the front door and knocking. Within seconds, Belle opens the door with a wide smile. She looks beyond Trevor’s shoulder and waves at Jack as he drives away.

“Hi!”

Trevor can’t help but smile at her energy. It’s infectious. “Hey, Belle. Are you sure you don’t mind letting me crash for the night? I can always get Quinn to come get me later.”

She opens the door wider to let him in. “It’s not a bother at all. As long as you’re good with sleeping on the floor.” He just waves her off, setting his duffle and backpack down and looking around at the barren household. “I would give you a tour, but there’s really not much to see anymore.”

“You need any help?”

She smiles at him sweetly. “I have some boxes in the garage that you could help me move?”

He’s eager to help, until he lifts the first box, grunting about how heavy it is. Belle just chuckles, because why else had she not moved these in her car yet? If she has a professional hockey player volunteering to help her move, then she might as well put him to use, right? Trevor just rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but let a smile peek through at hearing Belle’s giggles. Once the car is packed (it takes longer than usual, as they stand out in the driveway and in the garage inbetween moving, chirping at each other and catching up), they realize it’s getting close to dinner time especially if they want to get an early start in the morning. Trevor asks what she wants to have (“as your last night living in the state of Michigan”) and she lights up, dialing up the place of her favorite Asian fusion takeout place. Trevor tries to hand over his card but she smacks it out of his hand, glaring at him while still on the phone.

It’s a nice day outside, so they decide to venture out and have dinner on the front porch that she’s going to miss very much, leaning their backs against the panels of the house, sitting a comfortable 4 feet apart, Trevor’s knees pulled up and Belle with her legs outstretched and ankles crossed. He watches as she looks out at the sunset painting the quiet residential street, which is even more stunning than usual. If you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of kids gleefully screaming and dogs barking here and there. For a moment, Trevor feels like he’s intruding as Belle continues staring out, lost in her own world. Her focus only shifts a few minutes later when a car rolls up with their take out, as she jumps up and accepts the food with a gracious smile.

He helps her open boxes and suddenly there’s a generous spread of food between them as they start eating.

Trevor breaks the silence. “You never told me why.”

“Why what?”

“Why you’re leaving Michigan.”

She’s in the middle of stuffing a crab rangoon in her mouth. She chews and swallows for a couple of seconds. “It’s a long story.”

“I have nothing but time if you want to share.”

“I lied. It’s not really a long story. Just a sad one. That’s just my go-to when people ask.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. Ever. But you also don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

She lets out a deep sigh. “I was supposed to get married earlier this year.”

He blinks. Once. twice. And he’s speechless for once in his life. She barrels on.

“Nate and I…I met him at UMich my junior year. I had full plans to leave Michigan right after college. Not that I don’t love it here, but I just wanted to go home. But he got an offer here after graduation and I found a gig working for a great wedding planner so I stayed. And it was good. The brief stint in Santa Ana I mentioned was because of his job, so we moved out there. But I really didn’t mind. I actually really enjoyed California.” She picks at her fingernails, “He proposed to me the beginning of last year, a week before we were gonna move back to Michigan. And I was happy. Really happy. So many years I had been planning other people’s weddings and I was finally going to have my own with someone I loved.”

“Belle, you don’t have to-”

She waves him off. “The day of our cake tasting, we were running late and he was in the shower and I grabbed his phone to put in my bag. And there was a text that flashed on my lock screen. ‘Missed you, baby. See you tonight’ and that was it. He had been cheating on me for almost a year. I moved out that night and crashed with a friend for a few weeks before finding this place. Grabbed my shit when I knew he was gone during the day at work. Canceled all of the deposits. Gave the ring back.” She chuckles, albeit sadly. “Funny. The week after I found out, I had my first consultation with Amelie and Jack and honestly, throwing myself into their wedding planning may have saved me, not that they know that. Anyways, yeah. That’s why I’m leaving Michigan. I honestly would’ve done it sooner but I had to stick it out for those two. They deserved it.”

Trevor’s silent for a couple more moments. “Promise me something.”

“What?”

“If we see him out and about, point him out so I can kick his ass.”

Her chuckle comes out broken but genuine. “Connor was real close when I told him. I was afraid he’d just start driving here. So you’d have to get behind him in line.”

“Gladly,” he scoots closer to her and offers an arm. She collapses into his side. “God, Belle. I’m so sorry. No one deserves that, least of all you.”

She sniffles. “It’s okay.”

“No, Belle. It’s not okay. What an asshole.” He can feel tears on his shirt and he starts rubbing her back in soothing circles. “You deserve someone to love you just as much as you love them. Someone to put you above all, who views your love and presence as a privilege. Because it is a privilege. I would know.”

She snorts, still sniffling. “You made fun of me all the time when we were younger.”

“Nah ah ah. Connor did. I didn’t. And that doesn’t mean I didn’t know how lovely you were even back then. Why do you think Connor and I were so against you going on a date with that guy…what was his name?”

“Trent.”

“Yeah. Trent. First of all, just sounds like a douchebag.”

“And Trevor is so much better?”

“Second, because he was an ass. We didn’t terrorize you about it just because. We terrorized you about it because we knew he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend.”

“Maybe if you had ever met Nate, you could’ve sniffed out his bullshit right away. Took me around 6 years to figure it out.”

“You’ve always had good judgment, Belle. No need to blame yourself when you did nothing wrong.”

“Did I though?” She whispers. “Do nothing wrong, I mean. What if-what if I was working too much or I wasn’t attentive enough or I didn’t-”

Trevor shakes his head adamantly. “Belle, no. Stop. Absolutely not. You did enough. You were enough. I’m not gonna sit here and let you pick apart yourself unfairly. You stayed in Michigan for him. You moved to Santa Ana for him. You gave all you had. And he’s the one who fucked it all up. That’s not on you.”

She signs, a bit defeated but musters a small smile. “Thanks, Trevor.”

“Of course.” He stuffs a piece of sushi in his mouth.

She shoots him a small smile that has him swallowing roughly. “Nonetheless, I’m really happy we ran into each other. It’s been nice to have a slice of home back in my life again.”

Trevor just smiles, staring into her warm eyes. “Me too.”

…..

It’s hour two into the 10 hour drive when she breeches the subject again.

“Connor never liked him.” Trevor turns to look at Belle, who has one hand on the wheel casually. He automatically turns the music down as she continues. “He tried to get along with him, for my sake. But Connor was never sold. I always thought it was just him being a protective older brother. When I asked why, he always just gave some vague answer. Didn’t like his vibe, or whatever. It’s been hard not to agonize over now. If I should’ve just listened to him from the start.” Trevor doesn’t know what to say, but just faces her fully so she knows that he’s listening. She lets out a heavy breath as she puts her sunglasses atop her head. “I never asked. How’s your love life?”

Trevor snorts and the playfulness is back in the air again. “Well, not married like Connor is. I’ve had a couple things here or there. Clearly nothing that’s stuck.”

“Any particular reason why?”

He shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit small even though he knows that’s not her intention whatsoever. “I think when people date me, they don’t necessarily want all of me, you know? They want the jokester and the charmer. They don’t want the shifts in mood or the obsession of figuring out why I’m in a scoring drought or the insecurities.”

Belle hums sympathetically. “I think you just haven’t found the right one yet.”

“You sound like Quinn.”

She laughs. “From the small amount of interactions I’ve had with him, I’d say that sounds pretty on brand.” She shrugs. “You have time though. We all do. If that’s something you even want.”

“What? Marriage?”

“Yeah.”

“I do, I think. Want that, I mean. It’s just…hard. And scary. The thought of giving someone all of you? That’s giving them a lot of power.”

“I get it,” she says. “God, I really get that.”

“Is marriage not something you want anymore?”

She sighs. “I don’t know. I think I still do. It’s just…it’s still too soon, you know? And I don’t know if I have the energy to, like you said, give someone all of me again. I got hurt once. I don’t know if I can afford that again.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. So anybody would be lucky to love you.”

And shit, that kinda slipped out. His heart starts racing as she looks at him briefly in surprise. “That’s…that’s very kind of you, Trevor. Probably too big of a compliment.”

“Not too big of a compliment,” he automatically responds, digging himself into a deeper hole that he can’t even decipher. If he thinks about it too hard, he would realize that this is the most open he’s been with someone outside of his tight circle in awhile. And a week ago, she hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“You know, you were my favorite out of Connor’s friends back then.”

A pang of satisfaction touches his heart and he’s grinning. “Yeah?”

Belle rolls her eyes at his slight smugness. “Don’t let that get to your head.”

“Too late.”

“I don’t know. I just..liked how friendly you were to everyone you encountered. I don’t think there was ever a time when you came over and didn’t strike up a conversation with me. Even though I was quiet and shy, you still always treated me like a person.”

“I feel like that’s the bare minimum, no?”

She shrugs. “Now that we’re in our late twenties, sure. But back when we were 12, 13 years old? You’d be surprised.”

He watches her drum her fingers against the steering wheel, the patterned bandana in her ponytail swinging with the wind, wispies from her ponytail framing her face. If he looks hard enough, he can see 10 year old Belle sitting on the sofa in the Holloway’s living room, a sketchbook on her lap and a glass of apple juice next to her. If he listens hard enough, he can hear her humming to ‘Love Story’ as he leaves Connor’s room to walk past her room in the hallway to the bathroom. Maybe he can even smell her vanilla body spray that used to always filter out of her room if he breathes in deeply enough.

All he can see and hear and feel is his childhood self. Looking at her makes him feel blissfully young, a bit naive and incredibly out of his depth.

She casts him a casual glance. “You good?”

Trevor grins easily. “Never better.”

It’s hour five after stopping for lunch. Trevor’s behind the wheel now and her legs are up on the seat with her as she stares out the window, her chin on her knees. He has an urge to put a hand on her knee. To comfort her or to let her know that he’s there, he doesn’t know. But he refrains.

“Belle?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

She turns to face him, chin still on her knees. “Should I be nervous?”

He snorts. “No. I’m just a dumb hockey player. What could I possibly say that would catch you off guard?”

“You’re not dumb. And plenty. You knew me when I was 13 and in my awkward phase. That’s longer than most of the people I’ve seen in the last five years. What’s your question?”

Okay, Trevor can dissect all of that later. ““Are you going to miss Michigan?”

She lets out a thoughtful hum. “I’ll miss parts of it. I loved going to college at Michigan, made a lot of friends from college and work. And I grew up a lot here. Not to mention, Michigan’s almost unfairly beautiful. I’ll also weirdly miss my porch a lot. But also, it’s tough driving around with thoughts of Nate at every corner. Because he’s present in practically all the memories I have here. So I’m glad I’m leaving because I know I need to.” He turns to her quickly and sees her lip quiver. Almost as if he had imagined it, she offers a small smirk. “That’s the question you were so afraid to ask me?”

He sputters out a laugh. “What does that mean?” He asks defensively.

She shakes out her hair to redo her ponytail. "You never had a problem asking anything to anyone back in the day.”

“Things change.”

She pauses for a split second before tying up her hair and looking at him. “They do. I’m sorry for assuming they don’t.”

Hour eight and they’ve been in a comfortable silence for a bit now. One can only talk for so long, even someone as chatty as Trevor. Belle’s behind the wheel again and her phone is plugged in playing music. The playlist he had put on initially has cycled through and without asking, he plugged her phone in and shuffled a random playlist of hers.

He vaguely recognizes Taylor Swift’s voice and looks to see what song it is. ‘The Archer.’ His ears perk up as he listens to her softly sing along, and then, he’s actually listening to the words.

Belle’s eyebrows are pinched together as she sings about people seeing right through her and how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put her together again. He wants to offer her a hand to squeeze, a touch for support, but he doesn’t.

He clears his throat. “So. Santa Ana. What was your favorite part?”

She automatically grins. “All of it? I don’t know. I liked my job. I liked the area. I liked the weather. It felt like a breath of fresh air, in a way.”

“Would you consider moving back?”

“Maybe. I honestly haven’t really thought of anything but leaving Michigan recently.”

He stops asking her questions. He doesn’t want to keep bringing up the pain.

By the time she rolls into the driveway of Trevor’s childhood home, it’s almost 8 pm. Almost as soon as she kills the engine, the front door opens, revealing both his parents. Julie runs out, only barely letting Belle step out of the car before throwing her arms around her. He smiles fondly as his mother puts her hands on Belle’s cheeks as the younger woman chuckles, before turning to Gary and giving him a quick hug as well. Trevor drags his stuff out of the trunk and shuts it, smiling to himself as he listens to his mother invite Belle and her parents over for dinner the next night and watching Belle nod enthusiastically.

She then turns to him and it feels like someone has reached into his heart and punched it. She smiles. “Thanks for the company.”

He puts down his duffle and scoops her into a tight hug, only letting her go after giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Anytime. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

(And if he catches his mom giving him an inquisitive look as they all watch Belle back out of the driveway, he doesn’t say anything)

Tomorrow comes and Trevor’s content with mostly being lazy, adjusting to being home and around his parents. It feels weird to be in these walls without Griffin and Ava, but then again, he’s sure it’s one-sided. He moved away when he was so young, leaving behind his supportive parents and his even-more-supportive siblings. They got used to Trevor not being around.

He’s recapping Jack’s wedding to his father on the patio while his mom is preparing pies in preparation for the Holloways, the mouthwatering smell filtering through the screen door. He smiles as he recalls the week leading up when he went early and was roped into helping out, how beautiful Amelie looked and how he had never seen Jack that excited and happy before, not when he was drafted first overall, not when he won the Eastern Conference Final. He talks about how their vows made Trevor tear up and just how fun it was to celebrate two people he loves. He talks about reconnecting with Belle and briefly brushes over their drive back. He gives vague answers when his parents — mostly his mom — try to pry more, partially because it’s so much that he’s still trying to decipher it himself and partially because some of it isn’t his place to tell.

An hour later, he can’t help but beam as Belle’s parents greet him similarly to how his greeted Belle the day before. He helps Susan bring in the pasta salad and shakes Kurt’s hand, his slight nerves settling as the first thing Kurt says is how proud of Trevor he is. Belle is the last one who walks through the door, listening to the moms talking animatedly in her ear. She’s wearing a pink floral maxi dress with a denim jacket over her shoulders and she’s glowing. He itches to give her a hug but just settles for a grin instead before turning his full attention to Kurt.

It’s when the parents are filtering outside does he get a chance to say hello to her as they both hang back in the kitchen. She bumps her hip with his. “Long time no see.”

He pulls her into a side hug. “Hilarious. Want anything to drink before heading out there?”

She eyes the few bottles of wine in the mini wine cabinet. “White wine if it’s not too much of a hassle?”

He opens the fridge and grabs a wine glass. “My mom put a bottle in the fridge earlier. It’s her favorite, so if it’s bad, it’s not my fault.” She takes the glass from him graciously and he grabs a bottle of beer for himself as they both head outside.

“It’s weird being here without Connor.”

“I was just thinking earlier how it’s weird being here without Griffin and Ava.”

“At least we have each other, right?”

He hums. “Good thing.” She then gets roped into a conversation with his father and he happily takes a backseat, answering when a question is directed towards him but perfectly content in watching her.

(Julie and Susan, who had never really considered these two as a pair, nudge each other and exchange a few words, watching as Belle laughs while sipping her wine and Trevor just stares at her.

“She was supposed to get married last year. To a guy she met in college.”

Julie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Is that right?”

“Yup. Until she caught him cheating.”

Julie sighs. “I wish we could protect our kids from everything that could hurt them.”

“I do too.” Susan watches her daughter wistfully and lovingly. “She’s always thrown herself into work, But especially after the break-up. You have no idea how relieved I was when she told me she was coming home.”

“Does she know where she’s going next?”

“Not that I know of. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t know.”

“She’ll be okay,” Julie says confidently, rubbing her old friend’s shoulder. “I’ve never had any doubt about Belle.”

“But you had doubt in the others?” Susan teases as Julie snorts. “All our kids are doing well for themselves, but you have one who is the definition of achieving their childhood dream.”

Julie sighs thoughtfully, looking at Trevor. “He’s done well for himself, I think.”

“You think?”

Julie just smiles, clinking her glass against Susan’s.)

Meat is grilled, salads are tossed and food is eaten as the sun fades away. Sometime between sunset and when the sky becomes black, the fireplace is lit and the outdoor lamps are turned on. Trevor switched to water after his second beer, liver still trying to recover from the wedding festivities.

Trevor finds Belle sitting by the edge of the pool with her feet dipped in, sandals to the side of her. Her hands are folded on her lap as she stares down, occasionally kicking her feet a bit to make the water ripple. He clears his throat so he doesn’t startle her. She looks up and her lips quirk up at seeing him, but they soon fall, as she turns back to the water and tilts her head to the side, taking a deep breath.

Trevor licks his dry lips. “Come with me?”

“Where are we going?” She asks, accepting the hand he offers as she gets up and slips on her shoes, adjusting her dress.

“You’ll see. We won’t be long.” Wordlessly, they go around the side of the house to go to the driveway. He catches his mom’s eye and just offers a small smile. Julie’s eyes flicker between him and Belle before she nods. Belle doesn’t say anything as Julie tosses her son the keys to her car, letting Trevor lightly tug her along by loosely intertwining their hands. He opens the passenger door for her and she gives him a grateful look as she slips in.

He hasn’t been to his intended destination in at least five years, but he knows the route all the same, easily driving the seven minutes. He sneaks a glance or two at Belle as the minimal streetlights light her face aglow for a few seconds at a time. Before he overthinks it, he reaches out and grabs her hand gently, waiting for her to pull away. She doesn’t, instead lacing her hand with his and squeezing once.

“I haven’t been here since I was in high school,” Belle says as Trevor kills the engine, the tranquility of the small lake and lookout everyone who grew up in Bedford called “Pink Sun” due to the incredibly beautiful sunsets one could see if they were lucky, no one knowing that it’s actual government name was. He’s almost confident that this specific lookout is private property, due to the string lights adorning the trees meticulously that seem to always be on, but whoever owns the property clearly doesn’t care. He would come in the summers from time to time with friends like Connor after he moved away for hockey, but he knows he didn’t experience it the same way as others did.

“Which tree did you have sex under?” Trevor asks as they get out of the car and open the trunk. He quickly fluffs up the two pillows his mom has in the car at all times and pulls the blanket over them both as they get comfortable.

She chuckles and Trevor immediately smiles at the sound. “Gross.”

“What? Isn’t that what people did?” She just lightly slaps him before they both fall into a comfortable silence again. She takes her hand from under the blanket and reaches out to find Trevor’s. He offers his hand immediately. It feels like the most natural thing in the world.

She starts sniffling, and when he turns to her, concerned, he sees tears rushing down her face. He immediately wraps his arms around her and maneuvers her so that she’s crying into his chest. He tries to be steady for her shaking body, rubbing her back and muttering sweet nothings to assure that he’s here and she’s not alone. He places a couple of kisses on top of her head without thinking because there’s a split down the middle of his heart that’s widening everytime she whimpers.

She cries. The water ripples. Trevor holds her close.

…..

The entire time Trevor’s back home, he doesn’t go more than a day without seeing Belle. They get ice cream, sitting in the chairs that haven’t been replaced in at least 30 years and giggling as the ice cream drips over their fingers. They go back to Pink Sun to watch the sunset. Because this whole month has him feeling nostalgic, he goes back to his old rink in Stamford and she tags along, indulging him as he pulls up his hoodie over himself as they watch the last 15 minutes of a game the AAA team that Trevor used to be a part of is playing in. Some of the front office staff is still the same and they all immediately beam when seeing Trevor. He chokes up a bit when talking to some of them. He’s missed it here more than he thought he would.

After training sessions, he just shows up to her house without any warning. They take a lot of drives, passing by landmarks they know well and ones they don’t know at all. They spend hours chatting on the porch of her parents’ place, waving at neighbors as they walk by and petting their dogs. She doesn’t cry in his chest again, but there are stretches of silence where she craves a comforting shoulder. Trevor doesn’t hesitate to offer his.

He learns more about why she enjoys wedding planning and her time in Michigan. She learns more about how his goals have changed the longer he’s been in the league and his time in Anaheim. They both talk about times they feel like they’ve had their heart ripped to pieces and he finds himself admitting things he’s never admitted out loud to anyone — not Jamie, not Jack, not Cole, not Alex.

He wonders to himself how he’s lived this long without her in his life.

The day Trevor has to leave for Anaheim, she offers to drive him to LaGuardia, smiling as he hugs his parents goodbye in the driveway, promising to see them soon when the Ducks are playing in New York.

She shuts the trunk at the departures drop-off area with a wistful smile. “I’ll miss you, Trev.”

“I’m gonna miss you too.” And then he practically manhandles her into a tight hug, his chin resting on her shoulder, rubbing her back before pulling away. “If you ever wanna come out to Anaheim, there’s always a place for you to stay.”

“I’ll think about it.” With most people, it’s an empty promise. But with Belle, he knows she means it. “Good luck this season. Score some goals, yeah?”

He rolls his eyes, arms still around her waist. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You have my number. Use it.”

She nods, tilting her head to the side. “Okay.” She presses a kiss on his cheek before he forces himself to let go. She sticks her hands in her jean pockets. “Text me when you land?”

“Of course. Bye, Belle. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye. Travel safe.”

Trevor forces himself not to look back as he walks through the automatic doors.

…..

The first roadie of the season includes a stop in Chicago, and Trevor doesn’t hesitate to text Connor. He feels the familiar pang in his heart again, guilty that he hasn’t reached out until now. But when he and Connor meet up for a quick coffee the morning of the game, it washes away quickly. They fall right back to where they were when they were 16, even though they’re both over a decade older and a bit wiser now. Trevor practically shoves two tickets for the game for him and his wife, even though Connor is trying to bat his hand away.

After the game, the three of them go to dinner and he gets introduced to Ashley, Connor’s wife, who is peppy and fun and he loves seeing her and Connor together. After dinner, Ashley excuses herself to go home as the two of them migrate to a nearby pub. They have years to catch up on.

“Belle tell you about the break-up?”

Trevor scoffs, taking a hefty sip of his beer. “Yeah. Fucking asshole.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth. When she decided to get the fuck out of Michigan, I was relieved.”

“Yeah?”

Connor sighs. “Yeah. I know she says she stayed because of the Hughes wedding, but I also think it’s because she had a hard time letting go. Which, you know, who can blame her, right?” Trevor just nods sympathetically. Connor leans back, eyes flickering elsewhere for a moment. “Thanks, by the way.”

“What for, man?”

“For looking out for her.” There’s a hint of relief in Connor’s tone. “She’s always been independent, I’m sure you remember. And she has a hard time letting people know that she’s struggling, even if we all see it and want to help. Whatever you did, thank you, man. It’s appreciated.”

Trevor bites his tongue. He wants to say that he doesn’t have to thank him for being a good friend, but Connor is adamant. So Trevor just smiles.

…..

The season’s in full swing, but Trevor makes the effort to keep in contact with Belle frequently. Whether it’s sending a meme or calling on his way to practice, Belle becomes a part of his daily life.

A month in Bedford now and he can tell she’s getting a bit restless. She’s taken up crocheting, which Trevor loves to make fun of her for. Until he finds a little box on his doorstep and opens it to find a crocheted Wild Wing. He hands it on his rearview mirror in the car. He doesn’t fully realize she’s watching his games until he sees a text from her after a game against New Jersey (“Don’t let Jack hang the win over your head too much. That slapshot was insane.”) and that has him grinning much too widely for someone who just lost.

On Thanksgiving Day, after one of the guys’ families hosts a Friendsgiving for the whole team, he’s back at his place on the couch when she calls him.

Her face comes up on the screen and he has to smile. “Oh. Hey.” she says gently. “I didn’t actually expect an answer.”

“You just caught me. I just got home from Friendsgiving with the team. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

He doesn’t recognize her background. “Where you at?”

“My aunt’s. They’re all watching the game in the basement so I decided to take a break up in the living room.”

“Good food?”

“I’m fucking stuffed,” she admits, making Trevor laugh. “I’m not bad in the kitchen, but nothing beats a good homemade turkey and stuffing.”

“I feel you. So what’s been happening? Haven’t called in a bit.”

“It’s been, like, a week, Trev.”

“Exactly. A bit.”

She rolls her eyes, before leaning back further into the couch. “Actually, I do have news. Kinda.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I, uh, heard back from two people about a job. My old boss from Santa Ana said there’s a spot open for me if I want it. And then my boss in Michigan recommended me to someone in Manhattan, and she called me yesterday and also said I had a job if I wanted it.”

He grins. “Belle. That’s amazing! Congratulations. I’m not surprised though. I know firsthand how damn good you are at your job.”

He sees her blush slightly and he thinks it’s adorable. She twirls her hair around her finger. “Thanks. I’m, yeah. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get back into it again.”

“So. California and New York. Those are two pretty different places.”

She sighs. “Yeah. That’s partially why I called you. Kinda want to get another opinion.”

Before he can stop himself, he snorts. “You’re telling me you haven’t made a pros and cons list already? Don’t think I don’t remember you forcing me to make one when I was deciding if I should go to Avon.”

She tilts her head to the side. “You remember that?”

“There’s not a lot of memories I have from growing up here that don’t have you in them. Of course I remember.”

She bites her lip but Trevor can see the smile peeking through. She clears her throat. “I do. Have a list.”

“So you’ve already made your decision.”

She opens her mouth. Then closes it. “Yes and no. I really do want your opinion, Trevor.”

“Floor’s all yours.”

“I love New York, but I don’t know if I can stay here. If I go back to Santa Ana, is it going to be like Michigan again? I don’t know what Santa Ana is like without Nate.”

“No,” he responds immediately. “It won’t be.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because Santa Ana is yours, Belle. No one else’s. You said it yourself. You loved your time there. If Michigan doesn’t feel like home anymore and New York feels too much like your past self, California is waiting for you.”

A couple seconds of silence before a small chuckle erupts from Belle. “You take a creative writing class at BU or something? That was actually eloquent.”

If he were next to her, he’d shove her off the couch. He just huffs as she keeps laughing. “My point is, is that you can make fresh starts in familiar areas. Plus, not that I have anything to do with this, but Santa Ana is pretty damn close to Anaheim.”

“Knew you’d say that.”

“I mean, can you blame me? ” He leans back on the couch. “I don’t think you’re incapable of moving on. I think, in a way, you aren’t ready to, and that’s why Santa Ana scares you. You have to and are inevitably going to make new memories wherever you are, but you just have to do it. Take the leap. Dive in the deep end. Whatever the fuck they say.”

And well, that came out a bit harsher than Trevor intended, if the slight flinch on Belle’s face is an indication. But she sighs, “You’re right. I know you’re right. Fuck, Trev. Maybe I shouldn’t have quit and stayed in Michigan.”

“Stop,” he says. “We’re not doing that. Now you have to come out to California. Who else is gonna tell you to get your head out of your ass?” His goal is achieved as she laughs. “Seriously though. Whatever choice you make, you have my full support.”

Four days later, he sees that Belle left him a voicemail in the middle of the game. She’s coming to Santa Ana. Trevor starts organizing the guest room.

…..

Three days into the new year and Trevor finds himself running out of morning skate to drive to LAX. Belle’s staying with him while she looks for her own place, at Trevor’s insistence. He told her she can stay as long as she needs. He hopes she takes that offer seriously.

He rolls up to the arrivals terminal and idles his car, seeing a text from Belle indicating that she’s still waiting to pick up her luggage. He leans back in his seat, taking a deep breath adjusting the baseball cap on his head, bopping along to the latest playlist that he made for this season.

He’s about to do a drum solo on his steering wheel when he spots Belle come out of the double doors, rolling two suitcases, backpack on her back and a tired but genuine smile on her face. He immediately leaps out of the car, running to lift her up in a hug, making her chuckle.

“Hey Trevor.”

He kisses her cheek before putting her down. “Belle of the Ball. How was your flight?”

“Good. Long,” she reaches to get her suitcases and he waves her off, lifting her suitcases easily into his trunk as she slips into the passenger seat. She sags into the seat and turns to him with a bigger smile as he turns on the engine. “It’s really good to see you.”

He reaches to ruffle her hair to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach. “Missed you too.”

They catch each other up on what’s been happening since the last time they talked, so only really the last week. Once he turns off the highway, he opens the windows and he periodically glances at Belle, who’s leaning her head on the seatbelt strap as the houses blur by. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and Trevor feels his throat start to close up.

“Hungry?”

“A bit.”

“Enough to wait a bit so I can cook something up?”

She looks toward him in subdued delight. “You cook?”

“Decently, I’d say.”

“What are you gonna make me?”

Whatever you want, he thinks. “I make a pretty good steak.”

“Well, I’m not gonna say no to a personal chef.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he points at her jokingly. She laughs, but honestly, Trevor doesn’t hate the idea.

Belle’s car got shipped yesterday to Trevor’s place the week prior, so two days later, when Belle starts work and Trevor has to go to morning skate, they leave the house at the same time after cups of coffee and climb into their own cars, Belle wearing a red sleeveless blouse and white jeans and Trevor wearing a Duck t-shirt and shorts.

Before she can fully get into her car, Trevor runs around and squeezes her, making her squeal. “Good luck today. You’re gonna kill it.”

“Thanks Trevor. Have fun at morning skate.”

“Are you still cool with a couple of the guys coming over for dinner?”

“It’s your house, dude. You can invite over whoever you want.”

“It’s also your home too,” Trevor insists.

She rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s not. But of course you can have your friends over. I’m excited to meet them.” She gets in her car, but before she shuts the door, she puts her head out. “Do you mind grabbing some orange juice? I think you’re running out and I drink more of it than you do. Just Venmo request me.”

“Yeah, I gotcha. Won’t Venmo request you though,” she opens her mouth to protest but he just taps the roof of her car twice. “We can talk about splitting stuff later. Bye now!”

“Dick,” she mutters as she shuts her door. He chuckles. He lets her back out of the driveway first.

That night, Mason, Jamie and Leo come over and the four of them are finishing up cooking dinner when Belle walks in. A bit flushed and sweaty, she’s nothing but smiles as she slips off her shoes, putting down her bag and introducing herself. She hugs each of them with a sweet smile before finally reaching Trevor. She hugs him like she did with the other three, but he thinks she holds on a bit longer. He smacks a friendly kiss on her cheek, but he catches Jamie’s eye as she pulls away and he knows he’s going to absolutely be grilled about this tomorrow.

Dinner’s practically ready and the guys just shoo Belle away to the dining table, Leo pouring out a glass of wine for her. They chat and swap stories over chicken alfredo and salad, and Trevor’s content sitting back and watching two different parts of his life come together, not even jumping in to defend himself that much when she recalls some shenanigans from Jack’s wedding. Sure, they at least know of Jack, Alex, Cole and other various members of the NTDP crew who knew him when he was 17 and stupid, but Belle’s known him since they were children. Whether she — or Trevor even — realizes it or not, Belle and Trevor know each other in the purest way. The way only childhood allows, where filters of judgment, insecurities and expectations cease to exist.

Even with almost two decades lost in translation, Trevor thinks, in a way, Belle might know him better than most. And he might know her better than most.

Which is why he can sense that an hour after dinner, that Belle is exhausted, so he takes the initiative and the guys immediately pick up on it, bidding Belle goodbye and making her promise that she’ll come to a game soon. Once the door shuts, Trevor goes to start washing the dishes, batting her hand away when she tries to help.

“Trevor. You cooked. I’ll clean.”

“Nope. Go to take a shower. You’ve had a long day.”

“You have too.”

He waves her off. “Go. I got this.” Her shoulders sag in defeat, but she shoots him a thankful smile and heads to shower.

He’s just about finishing up the dishes and wiping down the counter when she walks back in, an old Michigan t-shirt and flannel pants on. She has her book in her hands but comes by next to him. “Are you sure you don’t need help cleaning up?”

He puts the kitchen towel back on the hook and swings an arm around her shoulder, bringing her against his side. “I’m sure. Where you unwinding for the night?”

“Probably the living room, if you don’t mind?”

“Belle. My home is your home. I mean it. I’ll probably join you after I shower.”

And he does, coming back in afterwards with only the living room light being on. He sees Belle curled up on the couch, engrossed in her book as one of the candles he rarely uses is lit up on the table in front of her. The air smells faintly of pine.

“Do you mind if I put on some football? I’ll put the volume low.”

She hums. “Not at all.” With her feet in his lap, blanket tucked over both of them, Trevor thinks that he could get used to this.

…..

Two weeks later, they’re finishing up their takeout when Belle clears her throat. “So I found a place that seems promising.”

Trevor stiffens. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s about 10 minutes from here. Just renting for now, which isn’t ideal. But it’s so soon, you know? I don’t wanna buy yet.”

Trevor understands the latter part, absolutely. But he’s still stuck on the first part of what she said. “When would you think of moving out?”

“At the start of the month.”

“That’s next week.”

She grimaces, washing their utensils. “Yeah. I just…I want to get out of your hair as soon as possible.”

“Belle,” his voice lowers into a serious tone that doesn’t come out of him that often. It works, because it gets Belle to look at him. “If you want to move out, I can’t stop you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I love having you here. So please don’t…don’t think you have to move out to get out of my hair. Because you don’t. I’d love for you to stay and live with me. Full time.”

Belle swallows, searching for something in his face. “You mean that?” She whispers.

“Of course I do.” He pushes on. “And you know I’m a shitty liar.”

She chuckles as she finishes washing the dishes. On her way to the bathroom, she stops and just hugs Trevor. He welcomes it with a big smile. “You 100% sure?”

“Yes.”

She pulls away with a smile. “Okay. Your porch is better anyways.”

Trevor laughs, his mind briefly flashing to an image of this place that had been only his for so long one day becoming theirs, with her throw pillows on the couch and fairy lights on the porch and photos of their friends and loved ones hanging on the walls, some they share, some they don’t.

…..

Trevor fully admits it to himself when Christmas rolls up and Belle refuses to go back to New York.

(“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone for Christmas, Trev,” she insists with an eye roll. “We’ll start our own tradition here. It’ll be great.”)

He doesn’t even try to hide his fondness as he watches Belle teetering at the edge of a chair to hang up lights around their living room. Some random Christmas playlist he had queued up at Belle’s prodding is playing through his speaker, and he doesn’t think “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” deserves the grin plastered on his face.

Belle, though. She might deserve it. Be the origin of it, really.

They make too many cookies that they'll have to gift his teammates and her coworkers just so they don’t end up eating all of them. They have holiday movies on in the background for three days straight, some they pay attention to, some they just leave on for background noise. On Christmas morning, after two cups of coffee on Belle’s end to deal with Trevor’s incessant rambling, they’re sat in the front of their tree. The curtains are drawn, offering minimal lighting into their living room. Yet, the twinkling lights on the tree and around their living room paint Belle in the warmest of lights. The blue fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders only adds to her softness and Trevor has to excuse himself after they exchange presents to go in the bathroom.

He splashes cold water in his face and stares at himself. He’s fully in fucking love. Shit.

…..

After that realization, he does the only thing that makes sense to him. Two days later, on the way to practice, he calls Jack. As the phone rings, he thinks that he probably should’ve checked to see if the Devils were playing today, but he also couldn’t be bothered.

Three rings later, Jack’s scratchy voice is projected through Trevor’s car. “Hello?”

“Hey dude.”

“You’re cutting into my pre-game nap. This better be fucking good.”

“I think I’m in love with Belle.”

Silence. A rustle on Jack’s end, before, “Jesus Christ. I knew Amelie should’ve taken the day off today.”

“Jacky,” Trevor practically whines. “Be helpful.”

“Give me a second to think and I will be,” Trevor stops at a light. “Dude. I mean, not completely out of left field. But in love love? That’s big. Considering you only reconnected, what, three months ago?”

“Yeah, I know. Am I being stupid? And I need you to be real with me and tell me if I am.”

“No.”

“I’m not being stupid?”

“No, you’re not being stupid. Z, I knew I wanted to marry Amelie, like, two months after I met her, and we weren’t even dating yet. You and Isabelle have known each other since you were kids.”

“Yeah, but we lost touch for over a decade.”

“Okay and? You spent a good amount of time together when you went back home, right? And she lives with you now, right?”

“She was the only one around at home, and we’ve been living together for maybe a month.”

“Dude, are you trying to convince yourself you are in love with her or that you’re not?”

Trevor shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. Right.”

He hears Jack let out a sigh. “I know you’ve been burned in the past with relationships and stuff, but this is a good thing, okay? She’s a great person. Try not to freak out about it so much.”

“And do what instead?”

“I don’t know,” Jack says sarcastically. “Maybe tell her?”

“Absolutely not,” Trevor says.

“Why not?”

Trevor’s about to tell him that Belle literally was supposed to be married a year ago but clamps his mouth shut. He’s not sure if Jack knows and that’s not his story to tell. “It’s just not a good idea.”

“Lame.”

“I’m gonna hang up and call literally anyone else.”

“Do it,” Jack challenges the empty threat, before softening. “Do you have any idea if she likes you back?”

“No,” Trevor says. “But I also haven’t been thinking about that because I don’t wanna…scare her off? I know she likes me as a friend, otherwise we wouldn’t be living together. But that’s probably all there is to it.”

“Maybe,” Jack says. “Or maybe you’re making assumptions. I’m not saying you have to do anything now, but you’re not stupid, Trev. Especially with stuff like this. And hey, at least you’re in love with someone as awesome as she is. Ooh, can you imagine you two getting married? It would be full circle!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Trevor says as Jack chuckles. “Thanks, man. Seriously.”

“Anytime. And Z?” Trevor hums to tell Jack to go on. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. You don’t know until you ask.”

Those last two sentences echo through Trevor’s head for the rest of the day, even when he’s at practice and going through the drills. After so many years in the league, he usually always can leave his thoughts at the entrance of the rink and just focus on hockey. But not today. He can tell Troy wants to ask something, but he refrains. It’s not like a distracted Trevor appears often, and Trevor’s thankful his teammate doesn’t push.

When the front door swings open that night and Belle calls out her greeting, Trevor is coming back from being outside the last few hours, where he sat and listened to the birds and just stared at the grass, lost in thought.

Then Belle comes into view, gray sweater over a cream satin dress, tote bag on her shoulder and a tired but bright smile on her face, and Trevor’s not lost anymore.

In fact, as she slides over to him in her socks across the hardwood floor and hugs him in greeting, immediately talking about what they should make for dinner tonight, Trevor’s never felt more sure of where he is and where he should be.

…..

Trevor’s on a long roadie during Valentine’s Day, but he makes sure that he delivers flowers to the house before Belle has to get to work. He had spent an ungodly amount of time selecting which bouquet he wanted to send, and Jamie, the saint that he is, had only blinked when he saw what Trevor was looking at on his phone on the bus home from the game before Trevor could lock his phone.

Imagine if it was Troy. Or Mason. Or fucking Leo, who’s just as much a menace as he was the first day Trevor met him. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s a darling, but Trevor knows better.

He ended up choosing a bouquet from Fresh Sends because the packaging looks sick with the newspaper and the bright colored box and the reviews are all high. Without hesitation, he had picked the largest bouquet, which he knew if Belle knew how much it cost, would probably kick him out of the house or something. But she doesn’t ever need to find out. On the bus, he had hastily typed out a custom note.

Belle,

Happy Valentine’s Day!! Wish we could be watching shitty rom-coms together but I hope this makes up for it. Thankful to have you in my life again. See you when I get back!

It’s not overly romantic, but he can’t exactly confess his love for her over a note when he’s across the country. If he ever confesses, he’s gonna tell her in person, not hide behind a note like a coward.

He wakes up on February 14 in a hotel room with a bleary smile as he wipes the sleep away from his face.

Belle of The Ball

*picture of the flowers*

Trevor!!! these are so so beautiful thank you

You really didn’t have to

Good luck against the Rangers tonight! And tell your parents (and mine) that i said hello❤️

Trevor nets two goals and an assist. He’s on top of the world.

…..

He’s pleasantly surprised to see that he has an incoming call from Amelie on his way home from the rink a week later.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Hughes.”

Amelie chuckles. “Quinn’s gonna be devastated.”

“Quinner has nothing on you.”

“Flatterer,” she says dryly.

“What’s up?”

“Jack told me. About you and Isabelle.”

Trevor almost snorts. When he first met Amelie, way back when they were in their early twenties, she had been way more hesitant on giving her opinion among Jack’s oldest friends. But with time, her sarcasm and vivacity came out, and while Trevor had been initially surprised and amused, it made sense. Anyone who would choose to spend their life with Jack Hughes has to be able to hold their own purely to rival his constant need for attention.

“Did he now?”

“You’re the worst. I’m not gonna tell you the same stuff he did, which by the way, I’m actually pretty impressed by. From the recap he gave me, he actually said some useful stuff. But I will say something that he forgot to tell you.”

“And what is that?”

“That you’re wonderful, Trevor.”

That’s not at all what he was expecting to come out of the photographer’s mouth. All he can muster out is an “Oh?”

“Yeah. And obviously Jack believes the same thing. You know that. But you’re such a lovely guy, Trevor. I’ve known that since the day we met, don’t get me wrong. But I-I’ve talked to Isabelle a few times since the wedding, and she always brings you up. And it’s always positive.”

“What does this have to do with my feelings for her?”

“Do you feel like maybe you feel like you’re not good enough for her? Is that partially why you’re hesitating on telling her? Take out the fact that she was in a long relationship before and broke off an engagement.”

He blinks. “She told you about the engagement thing?”

“Yeah. She came out to Jersey to grab dinner with Jack and I, like, two weeks before she moved to California and told us then. That’s not the point.”

He doesn’t remember Belle mentioning that. But like Amelie said, not the point. “I-I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Trevor. You’re one of the best people I know.”

“That can’t be true,” he tries to protest.

“But it is,” Amelie presses on. “You’re loyal. You’re funny. You have the ability to make anyone feel comfortable, even if you just met them. Your infectious energy elevates every room you walk into. You care deeply about everyone in your life. You were the first of Jack’s friends to be so openly kind to me and you continued to be kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it.”

“I’m loud. Harsh. Always has to be on the go or I get bored. Life of the party maybe and a fun time usually, but that’s it.”

Amelie scoffs. “Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Okay, you’re all of those things, so what? You think she doesn’t already know? She probably knows better than any of us. I get being hesitant to do anything because she’s maybe on a different page, I get that. But it’s not because you’re not good enough. Get that shit out of your head.”

Trevor has to laugh, both at the abruptness of this call and unbridled honesty from Amelie’s voice. “I’m not gonna lie. Getting chewed out by my best friend’s wife wasn’t on the list of things I expected today.”

“If you think I’m chewing you out now, you’re lucky Clementine doesn’t know about this yet.”

Trevor actually shudders at the possibility of Clementine Sandoval (well, Clementine Hischier as of two years ago but old habits die hard), lecturing him about this. He still remembers Clem’s lectures she would give Quinn, Jack and Luke when they were all in Michigan. They would usually be over the phone, since she was already out in California for school by then, but even at 17, Trevor knew she wasn’t someone to be messed with. Who else in the world, besides Ellen Weinberg-Hughes, can somehow lecture all three Hughes brothers successfully in one breath?

“She doesn’t?”

“Eh, usually she would. But she’s in her last trimester and Nico would kill me if I stressed her out more.”

And well, Trevor thinks that’s fair enough. He quiets again, thinking. “You think we could be a good match? Belle and I?”

“Yes,” Amelie says with no hesitation. “And I’m not going to tell you why, because I’m pretty sure deep down, you already know.”

He kinda hates that she’s right. Damn, is he this easy to read? He hangs up, but not before promising to give her a call more often.

As they’re leaving practice, Jamie nudges him with his shoulder. “How’s Isabelle?”

“She’s good. She has a wedding in Santa Monica this weekend so I haven’t seen her that much this week.”

“She a good roommate?”

Trevor smirks and elbows him lightly. “Better than you ever were.”

Jamie’s jaw drops, indignant. “Hey! I was a great roommate, thank you very much.”

“You were, you were. Nah, she’s great. We did Christmas just the two of us and it was really nice.”

“Just the two of you?”

“Fuck off, Jimmy.”

“I’m just asking! She chose not to fly home and stayed here with you instead. Ever think about what that could mean?”

Trevor has thought about it a lot recently, actually. But Jamie doesn’t need to know that. He lets out an uncommitted noise, but the look on Jamie’s face tells him that he’s not fooling anyone. Least of all, one of his dearest friends.

Trevor needs to tell her soon. Or get over it.

…..

Trevor never thought to really ask Belle if she wanted to go to a game, which is weird, because why wouldn’t he want a friend out in the stands to cheer him on? But he also knows that Belle wouldn’t be afraid to just ask if she wanted to go, and that her ideal time to unwind after work isn’t necessarily to go into a rowdy arena. She’s perfectly content snuggling in on the couch and watching the game on TV.

But when he mentions that Cole and the Canadiens are coming into town to play, she perks up. During the whole wedding weekend, Trevor could tell that she got pretty comfortable with Cole. Which, to Trevor, makes complete sense. Cole has the ability to make friends quickly and genuinely anywhere he goes. He leaves a ticket on the counter before heading to morning skate, as well as a note allowing her permission to raid his closet for any Ducks merch she so desires to wear.

The game is a fun battle that goes into OT, but Leo gets the game winner with an assist from Trevor and the Honda Center goes nuts. Trevor has plans to grab dinner with Cole and Belle, and he’s in good spirits during media before he meets up with Cole and goes outside to where he told Belle to meet them.

The boys see her before she sees them. Belle’s leaning against the wall of the arena on her phone, one of his jerseys tucked into black jeans and a black blazer completing the look. Cole calls out her name and she immediately puts her phone away with a smile, letting Cole hug her tightly with a chuckle. Trevor trails behind, watching the scene in happiness. Trevor tells Belle where he made dinner reservations, and she gets into her own car to follow them.

As Trevor watches Cole and Belle talk at dinner, it’s overwhelming, his love for her. Cole’s pulling out some old-school stories from way back during their program days and Belle’s absolutely loving it, pulling out some of her own stories from her college days and Trevor feels so fucking lucky. There’s a particular thing that Cole says that has her coughing up her water and she’s laughing so hard and Trevor feels so fucking fond.

Tomorrow, he promises himself. He has to tell her tomorrow.

…..

He doesn’t tell her tomorrow. But in his defense, he has to go on a road trip and she’s busy at work.

Somehow, after dinner with Cole, he had gone to sleep earlier than she did but had woken up before her to a short but sweet note on the kitchen counter. In her cursive, he smiles at her words.

Trev,

Thank you for dinner and a fun game <3 Wanted to tell you tonight but by the time I got out of the bathroom you were already in bed (old man). Good luck on your road trip to wherever!!

Love,

Belle

He takes the note and folds it carefully, tucking it into his wallet.

…..

At the end of the day, he ends up just blurting it out.

He comes home from the road trip to the smell of something absolutely delicious floating through the house. He peeks his head around the corner to see Belle flittering around the kitchen, stirring something in a pot. The oven beeps and Trevor decides to make his presence known.

“Smells good in here.”

Belle looks over her shoulder and he realizes she’s wearing one of his Ducks hoodies he must’ve had lying around. She beams. “Hey! Welcome home. I felt like making some good old grilled cheese and tomato soup with some roasted vegetables because I guess we need those. Don’t tell your coaches if this fucks up your diet-”

“I love you.”

And well, shit, because that’s definitely not how he pictured this going. For a split second, he thinks he imagined it. But Belle freezes, her back towards him, and he has no idea what to do.

After what seems like a lifetime, she turns off the stove and turns around. “What?”

Trevor walks forward, “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that’s okay! I really don’t want this to change anything between us because I love our friendship. But I-I had to say it because it’s driving me crazy not saying it.”

“Trevor-”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Y-you’re such an important part of my life and I really hope this didn’t fuck everything up-”

Belle rushes towards him to put her hands on his shoulders, steadying him. He forces himself to take a deep breath and to stop his hands from shaking, staring at his feet. He’s breathing really fast, but Belle’s orange blossom perfume and touch calms him down ever so slightly.

“You good?”

He swallows roughly. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” she says softly. He gets the courage to look at her face. He sees her smile and he can’t help but smile too. She clears her throat. “I-I thought it was clear, but I guess I’m out of practice. I feel the same way, Trevor. I like you a lot. Maybe not…love. Yet. B-but you’ve become my favorite person. And these last few months have been so…lovely. I just-I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

“That’s okay,” Trevor rushes to assure. Because holy shit, she likes him back? This was farther than he thought he was going to get. He chuckles lightly. “I…shit. Sorry. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact you like me like that.”

“Trevor,” she trails her hands down his arms to grab both of his hands. “Of course I do.”

“Oh,” he says softly.

Belle’s eyes water, and Trevor immediately feels the surge to make her feel better. “But I don’t know if I’m ready, Trev. I don’t know when I will be. And I can’t be the asshole and ask you to wait.”

“Why not?” Trevor challenges.

Belle looks at him incredulously. “Because that’s unfair.”

“Well too bad. Because I’m not gonna listen to you.”

“What?”

“As long as you need. Take your time. I mean it. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I promise.”

She bites her lip, “Trevor, you can’t possibly promise something like that.”

“I can, actually. And I will.”

She opens her mouth, then closes it, before laughing. She squeezes her eyes shut as he places his hands on her cheeks to cup her face. “Okay.”

He raises an eyebrow playfully. “You’re not gonna fight me?”

She shakes her head. “You’ve never been the kind of person to back down.”

He laughs and he so wants to kiss her. But he doesn’t, instead just placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’ll let me know when you’re ready?”

“If you’re still around,” she jokes.

Trevor grins, his heart growing four times its size. He feels like it might explode out of his chest. “I’ll always be around for you.”

#k writes #hockey fanfiction #hockey fanfic #nhl fic #nhl blurb #nhl fanfiction #anaheim ducks #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x oc #trevor zegras fic #nhl

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

AITA for editing my friends cover letter and then telling him I wouldn’t give him my employee number for a referral if he used the cover letter he wrote? (Emojis to find this whenever it posts)

✍️🧠

For some context… I work for a HUGE university that is extremely hard to get a job at. I have friends in HR here now and they said pretty much every job posting (and the postings are pretty sparse) gets a minimum of 250-300 applications. I got extremely lucky securing my job and truly do not take that for granted. And now that I’m an “insider” I have the ability to make referrals for my friends so that they can at least get an interview and hopefully a job here too and hop on the good pay and excellent benefits train especially since we’re all coming up on 26, therefore, we are all losing our health insurance (yay America).

So, one of my friends finished his masters degree recently and was looking for jobs in my area and saw something at my place of employment he was interested in. I told him I would be more than happy to look over his cover letter and resume before he submitted his application because I know what they look for in those. He said if there was any major changes he would pay me for edits too. I agreed because why not help my friend out. Give him a shot at this place.

And as much as I hate to say it… his cover letter was just… bad. It was so bad I reread it a good 5 times before I was fully able to comprehend just how bad it was. I had to go for a walk around the block to collect my thoughts on it. It literally made me question how he got a masters degree if I am being completely frank. It was also just so atrocious I offered to edit it for free because I felt so bad.

I don’t want to give specifics but think, half a paragraph on things he explicitly states that he has not done and will never do in his masters program, saying “folks” instead of colleagues (which is fine in conversation but like. Not for a cover letter ya know?), talked more about his experience in retail than he did his actual masters program, and just so so so much more.

So to just give him as fair of a shot as I could, I asked him for his thesis and service work that he did in his program, and asked permission to pretty much start from scratch on his cover letter. He excitedly agreed and told me to “go to town and do what you have to” and said “you know better than me what they’re looking for” and once I returned the final product to him he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the amount of jargon I inserted and the amount of changes I made to his “flare”. I had my friend in HR at the specific department I work at read it over and he said it was spectacular and he would interview someone with the cover letter in a heartbeat. I told my friend that and he still felt like I “robbed it of his personality.” I told him he’s welcome to edit it however he wants but my friends in HR said it was really strong how I wrote it and I would highly recommend not making any changes before he applies if he wants to get an interview and told him to just think on it for a bit before throwing in his application.

He didn’t respond for a couple of days and then called me out of the blue and told me he was working on his application now, was planning on using his original cover letter unedited, and needed my ID number for the referral. And I said… no. I am super super lucky to have my job and as jobs here are in such high demand I was scared to stick my neck out for him because I felt it might stain my reputation and reflect poorly on me. And he yelled at me and accused me I was being selfish and uppity about my job and that I needed to just give him the number because “if doesn’t matter anyway”. I tried to explain to him that any referral an employee makes gets added to their file regardless if the person got hired or not.

I did not want to stand by his original cover letter because I felt like it would’ve knocked him out of the running LONG before the interviews would’ve even started getting scheduled. I also feel it is important to add, I never told him his cover letter was garbage. I just told him it needed some work/jargon/fine tuning to the job description. I would never EVER say something like that to someone because I would never want to hurt someone’s feelings

I feel horrible. I didn’t want him to be hurt by the advice and changes I was making but I am in a very interesting and delicate position with my job in that I am one of like 5 people in any kind of administrative role at the entire institution that doesn’t have a bachelors degree. I secured my job because I worked as a temporary assistant for a few months and they loved me so much they made an exception to hire me in fully. I am deeply loved in my department and I truly love my job with all of my heart. It is wonderful and incredibly rewarding to do the work that I do so I really do not want to fuck this up for myself. I have had other friends apply and get jobs here with a little guidance and they love it too. I absolutely want that for my friend I was trying to help. I truly do. But he was not willing to take my advice and I just couldn’t risk sticking my neck out for him. So… AITA?

TL/DR: I work for a hard to get into place. Spent a lot of time fixing my friends app bc he writes like a 14 year old despite having a masters degree. He said he was using his shitty cover letter and asked for my referral number anyway and I told him no it’s not gonna happen because I can’t afford to stick my neck out like that since I got my job in a non traditional way leaving me a bit more vulnerable than most. I never explicitly told him “your cover letter is garbage” because I didn’t want to make him feel bad but warned him it would most likely not make it to the interviews and the one that I wrote him was applauded by my friends who work in HR.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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specialagentlokitty · 11 months

Text

9th doctor x reader - oblivious, stupid, and in love

Travelling with the doctor was fun at first, you loved it.

Who wouldn’t?

The planets, being in the stars, seeing the past, the future, what was really just outside the grasp of humanity in the present time you were in.

You loved every single moment of it.

But even something as amazing as that would get tiring after a while, and as much as you enjoyed travelling with the doctor and Rose, you felt like you didn’t have as good as connection with the doctor unlike Rose.

Their timelines were intertwined with one another, and it began to feel like you were there just for the ride.

Rose didn’t do anything with anyone anymore, not like she used to you, even with you right with her, and the doctor seemed to only think of what Rose would want to see.

And you wondered if this is how Mickey was feeling, so, you decided while the Rose and the doctor were off gallivanting somewhere you’d ask him.

So you went to his flat and knocked on his door.

“Don’t usually get you around here.”

He stepped aside to let you in.

“Tea?”

“Yeah please, I actually wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

You followed your friend through to the kitchen and leant in the doorway as you sighed a little bit.

“Rose and the doctor.”

Mickey glanced at you and nodded his head, gesturing for you to wait as he made your drinks and took you to the living room.

“Thought you liked travelling with them and all that lot.” He said.

“I do, well… I did… it’s just…”

You sighed and you tried your best to explain everything to him, and he nodded along and waited for you to finished.

“She’s been doing the same to everyone including me and Jackie, at the end of the day I guess we should just leave her to it, she ain’t going to listen to us anyways.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

“That’s not the whole thing?”

You shook your head and looked at him as you laid down on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling.

“I just don’t get why she gets to have everything you know? She had a good relationship, brilliant mum, and she threw it all away, now she gets to go running off round the universe and all that.”

“Come on, you got one hell of a good job here, and you don’t need a relationship just to be happy.”

“Mickey I literally work in construction because my best friends dad runs the company and I need the work.”

“Yeah but come on, you love it really, I seen you climbing those wooden structures sometimes.”

You grinned a little and nodded your head.

“Yeah it’s fun.”

“You get real good money, and you live on your own, what more could you want?”

“To actually be able to do what Rose does…” you grumbled.

“Oh I get it your jealous.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not jealous she’s running off with the doctor though.”

You looked at your friend and smirked a little bit.

“Nah you’re just jealous you ain’t him.”

Mickey tossed a cushion at you and you laughed as it hit you in the face.

“You’re seriously jealous she spends time with the doctor?”

“You can’t tell me you’re not.”

“Not for the same reason, I want to actually spend time with my girlfriend, so why are you jealous?”

You huffed and laid with the cushion on your face as you said nothing.

“Oh my god…”

You quickly sat up.

“Don’t say it.”

“Seriously?”

“Okay I’m going now by Mickey!”

You quickly got up and left his flat, settling for wondering a little bit to clear your head.

Your phone went off and you looked at the photo Rose had sent you from somewhere in the universe and you decided to ignore it.

And that’s what you began to do instead.

You started ignoring her, all her texts and calls, throwing yourself into your work and the life you wanted on Earth instead.

And it was good for the most part.

Sitting in the scaffolding, you felt your phone go off as you pulled it out your pocket to read the text.

Rose: can we talk?

“You shouldn’t be on your phone.”

You slapped your friends leg and looked at him as you put your phone away.

“Shut it Luke, you’ve been sat there for an hour on call to your mate.”

He grinned a little bit and you both looked at the slightly cloudy sky.

“Think it’s gonna rain?” He asked.

“You wish, I got money to earn so you stay there and act like the princess you are.”

He stuck his middle finger up at you and you smirked as you got up and made your way onto the Newley built floor of the building you were working on.

“Shouldn’t you be an office worker or something?” He called.

“Shouldn’t you be in the sewers you rat?” You called back.

“Ouch, damn okay.”

He got up and trialed after you, taking the tape measure from your hands and you pulled another one out from your pocket.

“Stole yours hours ago.”

“Was looking for that.”

You shrugged a little and carried on with your work, measuring and marking what had to be done next.

It took a few hours to do, and then you made your way back outside and saw your friends dad waving you down, as you began your descent back to the bottom.

Jumping on the ground, you walked over and he took you to one of the cars and handed you some papers.

“Tell me idiot son if we ever want to finish this office building he actually needs to take the papers with him.”

You snickered a little bit and picked them up.

“He’s never going to remember Henry, you know that, it’s why you hired me.”

“I know, at least one of yous is smart.”

You grinned a little bit and leant back on the car as you looked through them.

“Thought it was an open plan style office? They said they was bringing in everything else.”

“Yeah they changed their minds, now they want office rooms and all that crap. We get paid more for the changes so more profit for you.”

You shrugged a little bit and picked up your bag, putting the papers in it as you set it on the ground again.

“How much longer you reckon?” Henry asked.

“Well, we still need to run the electrics through the top floor, then windows finished, if we’re adding all of this as well, given they stick to just a few offices on each floor with glass instead of normal walls, I’d say another month or so.”

“Not bad, I told them about two months given the weather.”

You smiled a little and looked up at him.

“Am learning.”

Henry nodded his head in agreement, and pointed to the entrance to the site.

“And being watched. You know him?”

You looked to where he was pointing and you sighed.

“Yeah, don’t want to talk to him though whatever documentation he shows you it’s fake.”

With that, you grabbed your bag and you went to go find Luke again to discuss the new changes and to see if they were actually possible or not.

You carried on working throughout the rest of the day, and you forgot about the man outside until you went to walked over to your car parked down the street.

“We can get him gone you know.” Luke whispered.

“Leave it, he ain’t worth it.”

You made your way over and turned down the street to make your way to your car.

“You told them my papers were fake.”

“They are fake, I know they’re fake doctor.”

“They didn’t need to know that. I just wanted a look around.”

You stopped and looked at him.

“Right, I get everything is all fun and games to you yeah, but that’s a construction site, so I don’t need you in there messing about with ought. We’ve been working on it for months and we don’t need you putting us behind.” You snapped.

The doctor blinked and looked at you in shock.

You carried on walking, and he called out your name but you ignored him.

“Hey stop for a minute!” He called.

He jogged in front of you and blocked your path and you sighed.

“Are you alright?”

“In case you can’t tell doctor, I’m covered in dust and dirt, I want to go home, so leave me be. Go find Rose or something if you want to travel.”

You pushed past him and the doctor watched you get in your car with a frown.

He waited every day at the site for you to try talk to you, and you eventually started parking on site just to avoid him even more.

And you thought it was working, because you stopped seeing him there for a week, and you heard from Mickey Rose was still in London.

So maybe the doctor was sulking, you weren’t sure.

As you were sitting in the park on the weekend, just relaxing from a long week, you saw him walking over the grass and you sighed heavily.

“What now? I’m trying to sit peacefully.”

The doctor stood in front of you and stared at you for a minute.

“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

“Look, I’m tired okay. Tired and want to relax so go do something else.”

You got up and before you could walk away he took your hand and made you stop.

“Did I upset or offend you somehow?” He asked confused.

“I just want to be left alone.” You snapped at him.

He shook his head.

“Not until we sort this out, one minute you were fine and smiling when I dropped you off, now I can hardly get two minute to even talk to you, you’re ignoring Rose and not talking to her either.”

You heard your phone chime and you looked at him raising a brow, but he still held your hand.

You pulled your hand and he let it go.

Taking your phone out your pocket you read the message and you groaned as you stuffed your phone away.

You left the park and went to your flat and got in your car, heading over ti the construction site to see Luke grinned sheepishly.

“I think I fucked up.”

“Oh you did big time, what the hell did you do?”

After helping him fix the mess he had made while ordering supplies for the following week, you went back home and you stopped as you stared into your living room.

The doctor was there watching TV, sprawled out on your sofa.

“Seriously?”

“I’m not going until we talk this out. I’ll stay here all night if I have to.” He beamed.

You ignored him and went into the kitchen and you grabbed a drink out the fridge as you opened it and began to looked through some takeaway menus.

Picking one, you walked into the living room and wrote down what you wanted and you tossed it at him with the notepad and pen.

You spent as much time as you could ignoring him.

“I will really just stay here all night you know, I’ve nowhere else to be.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say doctor, I’ve been working, I’ve been busy.”

“It’s not that, I know you. I know there’s more to it then that.”

The doctor sat up and he looked at you.

“So just tell me, I don’t understand what’s so bad you can’t tell me about it, or at least tell Rose. You two are supposed to be friends, right?”

You shrugged a little bit.

“What’s going on? Just tell me, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.”

“I’m going to bed, leave, stay, I don’t care.”

With that you left him there and he frowned as he tried to figure out what was going on.

And that’s what he spent all night doing, and when you woke up he wasn’t there, but a few hours later he came waltzing through your front door, screwdriver in his hand.

You were getting ready to go to the shop, so you stood and you looked at him.

“I talked to Rickey.”

“Mickey.”

“Same person, I talked to him.”

“Okay?”

The doctor closed your front door and he pointed the screwdriver at you.

“He said you’re jealous.”

“Did you talk to him or scare him into talking?”

“Not relevant. Is this what all this is about?”

“It doesn’t matter doctor, can you move because I need to go to the shop.”

“Nope, we’re going clear up whatever this is right now. Why are you jealous?”

“I’m not and it doesn’t matter.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes a little bit and he sighed softly.

“I want you to come somewhere with me.”

“Doctor I can’t, I have worked, commitments. I get you can run around whatever you want, so can Rose. But I can’t.”

“Just come with me.”

“I can’t.”

He sighed and he put the screwdriver in his pocket.

“You were having so much fun, travelling, seeing the universe, doing things that humans won’t do until well into your future. Then you just decide one day that you’re not going to come with us anymore? I know there is something else, something that is making you feel like you can’t come with us anymore, and it’s not work, because you said it yourself, this is a job you can come and go as you please.”

“What’s the point doctor? I go with you and Rose, I see things, but am I really there?” You asked.

He looked at you confused.

“You and Rose understand each other on a level I could never possibly reach, you two just seem to share the same wavelength and I can’t do that. What’s the point of me being there, I can’t help you like she can, I’m nothing but a second thought really, just a remembrance that I’m there. That I happen to be there. Is that what you want to hear?” You asked.

You took your jacket off and you tossed it on to the cabinet in front of the doctor.

“Do you want me to tell you how I feel like an after thought? Maybe some people have what it takes to be a time traveller, I’m not one of them. Why waste my time?”

“You loved it.”

“At the start yeah sure it was great. But I’d rather just work, get some money behind me, maybe travel the world in a few years or something, at least here, at work, I know I’m important. I know who I am.”

“(Y/N) you are important, my god you are so important.” The doctor said.

You scoffed and shook your head.

“Not out there I’m not, I’m just another little human running around where they shouldn’t be.”

The doctor looked sad, and a little unsure.

“I… I made you feel like this?” He asked.

“You’re not to blame fully, you’ve known Rose longer, get it. You two are better off travelling just the two of you, I’m better here building things, that’s all there is to it. I don’t have to compete, or worry, or nothing like that.”

“Who says you have to compete? Compete for what?”

You shook your head and you picked your jacket up again, pulling it on and you gestured for him to move.

“Just forget yeah? I’m fine here.”

“But are you happy?”

“I’m content.”

“That’s not the same as happy.”

You shrugged a little bit and took a step backwards again.

“It’s all we can ask for though right? Just to be content. Now can you move?”

He opened the door and followed you outside.

“So if you’re only content here, what would make you happy?”

“Honestly I just want what Rose has, I want what she has with Mickey, even if she’s screwing it all up and constitutionally leaving him behind, there was a time they were well happy.”

The doctor walked in front of you to make you stop walking.

“Why can’t you have what she has? Earth isn’t short of people.”

You smiled a little and shook your head.

“It don’t work like that doctor, you need to have feelings for someone, or love them. You know how relationships work right?”

“I have an idea yes.”

“Exactly.”

He furrowed his brows a little bit.

“Then why can’t you have that?”

“Because the man I love is either incredibly stupid, oblivious, or in love with someone else, I’m not sure.”

You stepped around him and carried on working.

“Then why don’t you just ask him?”

“Because I don’t know if my friend likes him, and if she does I don’t want to get in the way, I wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Well, whatever man doesn’t choose you is pretty stupid if you ask me.” The doctor smiled.

You laughed a little and stopped walking again.

“You can’t say that.”

“Well why not? It’s true, you’re a wonderful human, absolutely fantastic!”

“That ain’t true.”

“Why? Why do you believe so much that you cannot have such a brilliant thing?” He asked.

You sighed and you ran a hand down your face.

“Wow, you really are just oblivious aren’t you? I just can’t okay, I can’t tell the guy, and I can’t ask my friend how she feels, and I need to go because the shops going to close, so bye.”

With that you walked away and the doctor stood there confused.

When he tried to follow you he realised he no idea which direction you went in, so he wondered back to the TARDIS to think.

He decided to do some small fixes, but he was still vexed by his conversation with you.

Suddenly he stopped, and he blinked.

“Oh doctor you bloody idiot..” he whispered.

Setting everything down, he ran out of the TARDIS and back to your flat, knocking frantically on the door.

You didn’t answer fast enough for his liking so he unlocked it himself and slammed it shut behind him.

“Seriously?”

“Who were you talking about when you said you didn’t know if the man you loved was in love with someone else?” He asked.

“Why? What’s it to you?”

He took a deep breath.

“Because I think I know who you meant, and I really don’t want to be wrong about this.”

You shrugged a little bit.

“Oh bloody hell (Y/N).”

He walked over and he leant down, gently pressing his lips to yours before he pulled away.

“He isn’t in love with someone else, he’s just incredibly stupid and hopes you actually were talking about him…” he grinned sheepishly.

The doctor stepped forward and took your face between his hands, and he leant down, kissing your forehead.

“I need to know if what I think is true, is actually true.”

“It is…”

He smiled brightly at you.

“I’m such an idiot…” he whispered.

He sighed a little bit.

“I never said anything to you because I thought it would be simpler for you to have a life here on earth, with a man from here who would stay here. I never realised that I was subconsciously pushing you away and making you feel unwanted I’m so sorry, I’ve been an idiot. I’ve been oblivious, stupid, and in love with you all at the same time.”

“Yeah… but you’re a loveable idiot though.”

He grinned a little bit at you.

“So does this mean you’ll come with me now?”

“I still have work doctor.”

He frowned a little.

“Look, I finished the project next month, ask me again then.”

He nodded and he grinned at you before laughing, wrapping you up in his arms, picking you up and spinning you around and you laughed a little as you hugged him back.

So maybe he wasn’t a human, but was that really so bad? You were just happy to find out that he actually felt the same, you didn’t care he was an alien, he was your alien

#doctor who #doctor who x y/n #doctor who x you #doctor who x reader #Doctor who imagine #ninth doctor #ninth doctor x reader #ninth doctor x you #ninth doctor imagine

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thatfreshi · 3 months

Text

"Did I Smudge the Scars?" (Uni AU P. 19)

Hello. The long-awaited Halloween party (I know it's almost spring whoops). This took a different turn than I was expecting, but it felt right to me.

TW - alcohol, references to grooming, references to self-harm

When you get to Karlach's dorm, you're met at the door with a lot of scuffling and 'ow!'s, as well as other pathetic hurt sounds.

"Tav, they've been fighting and I can't get them to stop."

A disheveled Gale and Shadow are on the shitty dorm floor, pulling at each other's hair. You glare at your tallest friend.

"Are you... you're serious? As if you aren't literally an athlete?"

She shrugs.

"Well, I'm not going to tell my girlfriend what to do, and I think if I touched Gale he'd fall into tiny pieces. C'mon, please? Just say something to try and get them to break apart?"

The heaviest sigh you've ever let out released from your lungs.

"Hey losers! Astarion and I kissed!"

And as if magically, they stopped clawing at each other. The pale girl is the first to talk.

"What?! And we weren't there?"

She gets off of the artist and fixes her braid.

"Yeah, you guys weren't there because it didn't happen! Karlach's phone call interrupted what was about to be the best kiss of my life, but thanks for getting into another stupid argument that I have to solve for some reason! If I get brought into your bullshit one more time, I swear I will burn this university to the ground."

Gale's eyes go a little wide.

"Can we... at least be outside when you burn it down?"

Your strong gaze doesn't falter, causing him to abandon his lame joke.

"And next time Karlach, please just manhandle her. That's probably what she wants anyways."

You open the dorm door and proceed to slam it, hearing Karlach laugh at her lover.

~~~

The next evening, the seven of you are in Astarion's dorm getting ready for the Halloween party. Shadow and Gale seem to have put their feud away, at least for the night. Your best friend is helping Karlach put on fake horns. You remember her explaining her costume a while ago.

"Listen, I know I'm like super nice! That's why I'm gonna be a demon, because it's like the opposite of me!"

You stare for a while, since your outfit is already put together. Gale catches your gaze lingering for a little too long and gives your shoulder a push, and the two of you laugh a little under your breath.

"Alright, if that amount of eyelash glue doesn't hold those in place I'll give up on makeup forever."

Astarion finishes testing the horns, and they seem to stay in place.

"Tav, come here darling."

You're taken aback, considering your costume was finished first.

"What? Did I smudge the scars?"

Your look for tonight is a scrappy adventurer, something you'd find in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign.

"No no, they're fine my dear."

You sit on the couch beside him, and he grabs his eyeliner.

"If you're going to be some fierce adventurer, your eyes have to stand out at least."

You're not sure if it was just in your head, but it felt like the entire room got silent. He grabs your head and goes to work on his craft.

"You know you have to close your eyes for me to do this properly, right?"

You didn't realize you had been locking eyes with him.

"Right, sorry."

A light chuckle comes from your throat as the cold, black liner hits your skin. After what feels like only a moment in time, he lets go of you, taking in his work.

"Hm, I probably could've done that a little more evenly, but it'll do. Besides, I doubt eyeliner is all that even in the wilderness."

You open your eyes again, and he smirks when you do.

"Well, thanks for making sure I look 'fierce' or whatever."

He smiles.

"Are we all ready to go then?"

You look at a bored Shadowheart, who is unsurprisingly dressed as a sexy nun. Apparently the lovely couple's costumes matched more than you thought.

"Yeah, I think everyone's done getting ready. Gale, you good?"

You're checking on your friend in a shitty cheap wizard costume, who has been intently staring at his phone for the past 20 minutes.

"Yep, ready to go!"

And suddenly his phone is back in his robe pocket, and the air around him dissipates. So, after a long walk to the parking garage, Gale drives you all past GU, onto the rich area outside the city. When you get to the location on the invite, you're all a little baffled.

"Is Halsin secretly a millionaire? Because he should teach us a thing or two about finances in college if so."

Everyone laughs a little at Wyll's quip as the seven of you exit the van. You all decided to get to the party about an hour after it started, leaving plenty of time for things to pick up. Astarion is a little paranoid before you get inside, and you tug at his vampiric blouse sleeve.

"Hey, it's fine. No one has any reason to think you're here. And if it just so happens that someone less than friendly finds you here, then we leave, simple as that."

"Right, of course. No reason to be worried."

He's trying to convince himself, but before you can further reassure him, Halsin meets your group outside the front door.

"Ah, if it isn't Tav and their lovely friends! Please, come in."

"So like... do you own this place? Or like your mom?"

Halsin turns to respond to Karlach.

"Hah! No, not in the slightest. A friend of mine let me borrow the place. He's from a much richer family than I am, and I figured a party should be held in a vast mansion such as this. Anyway, there's plenty of food, beer pong, board games, and plenty of stunning people looking for a fun time."

He winks at Shadowheart playfully.

"I'll be around, let me know if you all need anything. Please though, go have fun!"

Karlach and Shadowheart look at each other knowingly and start eyeing a couple across the room. Wyll and Lae'zel make their way to beer pong, and Gale wanders off to wallflower somewhere, very unlike him. That leaves you and Astarion, gazes skipping around the room.

"Certainly a much larger abode than I expected. Don't get lost in here darling, I can't remember the last time I went to a party that wasn't purely for PR."

Astarion seems excited. The news of his social media blackout seems to be relatively hidden for now, and there's almost a manic sense about him. For once, he's not a model, he's not repping a brand, he's not watching his figure for some shoot, he's just a college kid.

"Well, what do you want to do then?"

"Perhaps go check and see if the punch is spiked?"

There's a little bit of lust on the tip of his tongue, lust for life, and maybe even you. It's hard to tell though. Emotions have been so high as of recent, and Astarion is difficult to read at best.

"Perhaps we shall."

You playfully extend your arm to interlock, and he accepts. There are most definitely whispers as the two of you go across the main room, and you start to wonder if the articles are coming out, if everyone knows. You try desperately not to grab your phone, and succeed, at least for now.

As you two take a sip of unspiked punch, you take in the scenery. It's quite dark, obviously. Halsin and his friends have very intensely decorated the entire first floor, with all eco-friendly and thrifted items as he constantly reminds everyone.

"Hey! You're that ghost lookin' model boy right?!"

Some party-goer yells, who is clearly drunk. Astarion ignores him at first. The random drunk then yells even louder, as if the music was drowning him out.

"He's gonna fucking kill you!"

He perks up after that, making eye contact with the stranger.

"What did you say to me?"

"I said that weirdo is gonna fucking kill you! Szarr or whatever? I mean good on you though, making a cool statement or whatever. I used to date a model that worked under him, and a couple months after we broke up she went 'missing!' Crazy right?! Anyways man, I hope he doesn't kill you because you're a fuckin' looker. Have a good night!"

After the guy walks off, you and Astarion look at each other.

"Did you know about that?"

"I mean, I knew one of the models he used to work with disappeared, but it was never determined what happened. You don't think..."

You put a hand on his.

"Let's not right now. Let's not go down that route right now."

"Right. I think I need this to actually be spiked."

He leans down and grabs a flask out of his boot.

"I didn't know you brought booze."

"Eh, an emergency stock in case they didn't have any here."

You twiddle your hands nervously.

"Just don't get like, drunk drunk, please? I really cannot handle that tonight."

"Dear, you think I can't handle my liquor? How little you must think of me."

He takes a sip of his newly mixed punch, tapping red acrylics on the cheap plastic cup.

"Let's see if our wonderful Wyll and Lae'zel are winning beer pong, shall we?"

It's as if you've seen a new man tonight, overconfidence to mask fear. Of course it concerns you, because he constantly concerns you. You want to reason, to say that he's enjoying some kind of newfound freedom, but this isn't the Astarion you've come to know. He's not the simple dorm room you've come to love, the glasses he won't tell anyone about, the late-night hours spent on reviewing law papers. Something about it makes your stomach sink a little, wondering if this is who he is now, somehow. That maybe-

"Are you coming darling?"

"Of course."

And your lips curl into a smile, one that you find yourself faking the way he does.

"Bullshit! You moved the cup you fool!"

Lae'zel has already started arguing with various frat bros. Her and Wyll are a surprising duo, already wiping out the competition and taking several cups of shitty, watered-down beer.

"Lae, it's fine, be a gracious winner!"

The guys across the table disperse and leave the champions to reset the table, clearly being the sour ones in this situation.

"Well well well, already winning silly little games are we? Might as well start putting money on it."

Lae'zel turns to Astarion.

"As if I would waste my money on chance. Some people have brains around here."

He simply rolls his eyes, and turns his attention to Wyll.

"I'm sure daddy wouldn't feel too good about you being in a place like this."

Wyll mocks him back.

"I'm pretty sure 'daddy' doesn't even care what I'm doing right now."

He then goes to somberly refill the rest of the cups on the table. You push Astarion's shoulder and give him a look that should clearly say 'hey, that was mean, what the fuck are you doing?' but all he does is shrug at you.

"Don't mind him Wyll, his father doesn't care about him either. That makes you even."

Before the three further bicker about parental relationships, you hear a familiar voice off towards the corner of the room.

"Because Gale, I miss having a friend! I miss knowing you were in control of your life, not some stupid professor. And right now? Right now I'm yelling at you, at a party, instead of hanging out with my hot girlfriend and that sexy GU couple we just chatted up."

"As if you haven't been hiding things from me too Shadow."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying, maybe there's a reason you picked sexy nun instead of sexy cat this year."

"What does that even mean Gale?"

"Oh, don't think I didn't notice during our little scuffle earlier, your arm?"

Suddenly, she gets very quiet, extremely aware of how many people at the party can hear her and Gale yapping. She then grabs his arm and drags him outside the side door. Your stomach is in knots at this point, because for some reason everything is wrong. Everything was supposed to be right after the blackout. Your friends would all be happy and get along, Astarion would be a free man, you'd finally get that kiss you'd been waiting for, and yet here you are, at some Halloween party hosted by your ex, and everything is just... wrong.

Without thinking, you go to the nearest exit of that room, the staircase. You're trying to block out the loud music at this point, but it feels almost impossible. The closest door is the first on your right and you open it, slamming it behind you. You're met with a large bed, probably belonging to some rich couple. The giant windows are covered with blackout curtains, and the carpet is luscious. Things are quieter in here, except for a soft knock at the door once you sit at the edge of the bed.

"Go away!"

"It's me Tav."

Of course Astarion followed you up here, how inseparable the two of you are.

"C'mon Aster."

When he comes in and quietly shuts the door, your head is in your hands. You feel the mattress move as he sits down next to you.

"I'm sorry."

You wipe at a watery eye, the tears just beginning to come in.

"For what? I'm the one that ran off."

He doesn't say anything at first, pondering how to best word this new thought.

"You- you're the first person who has helped me recognize my own patterns, that when I get scared I have this wall up. I've been feeling it since we sat down and cleared all my socials, this overwhelming feeling, like I'm being hunted to the ends of the Earth. And that fear, it makes me someone I don't like. Especially tonight, being outside of campus for the first time since, I just-"

He cries too, the first time you can remember seeing him cry. You lean on his shoulder. He continues.

"I thought I was ready, and I'm not. I'm not ready to be a normal person right now, a college kid that goes to parties."

You scoff slightly.

"I thought things would be normal too. Like somehow we had fixed everything, ya know?"

"Yeah... I do."

"I would like to find normal though, someday... with you."

He turns toward you, forcing you to pick your head back up.

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I think it's time to admit that this isn't just a close friendship. Not to me at least. And that scares the shit out of me too, just like everything else right now."

"Out of billions of people in the world, you would choose to try and find normal, with me?"

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

He hesitates, fear.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Is that bad, that I don't know? I just know you're different, and special to me, and that's enough to me."

"Well... maybe we can give you some time to find out?"

"Well, could I kiss you then, and maybe I'll learn something?"

You two laugh, quiet enough as to not disturb the room, but loud enough that the two of you feel the happiness radiate. He wipes at a tear and nods. It's different than the first time you met, vastly different, as if you've gotten to know someone entirely new. Although, you're not sure what words could really describe the kiss. Fearful, yet excited? Nervous, yet brave? It's over before you know it though, leaving a little flit in your heart. He interrupts your thoughts.

"We should definitely try that a couple more times."

And so you do, alone in a stranger's bedroom, and for once you forget about the various issues spiraling back at RU, about Gale and Shadowheart hating each other, even about Szarr. There's just this soft time in between, where two barely adults having fun just kissing each other, even if it's only a short moment in time, it's yours forever.

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #freshiau

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raayllum · 7 months

Text

Anyway this is the most important scene in the episode (To Me) so let's talk about it

Aka Callum's angry but somewhat impassive expression before Finnegrin finishes his sentence makes me 100% think that Callum was assuming he would be the one being fed to the leviathan. After all, he's made it pretty clear he won't budge and give Finnegrin the dark magic spell, and Callum is the one who punched him, so it'd only be fair that the punishment is given to him.

Then he finds out it's Rayla and his expression does a 180, and he immediately starts spouting ingredients.

I will never help you.

This to me works synonymously with Callum's statement from the scene prior, in which he states, "See? So long as we love each other, so long as we protect each other, you can never control us." He never mentions strength, but Finnegrin does, the implication that "Freedom = power = strength & having control" with "love = weakness = being controlled" as its oppositional force. Because here Callum is being controlled, and doing what he said he never would to spare himself in hopes of sparing someone he loves from a fate he was willing to face. Love and protection aren't necessarily opposed to control, but aspects and motivations that can also, such as in this case, lead to being controlled (which the episode also reaffirms given that Callum's prior dark magic use is what allows Aaravos to literally control him, and Callum explains his motivation directly: "I had to, to save my friends" AKA Rayla).

I also think acknowledging Callum being controlled, and actually going along with Finnegrin's wants at this turning point, is important considering the end of the episode in which his epiphany specifically about control and self hood, and is weakened if him helping Finnegrin isn't seen as a genuine (under duress) attempt to do so.

If you are interested more in my thoughts regarding the list of ingredients, you can read it here (re: why I think the condensed list of spells was actually included - to show his panic and the longer dialogue would've been too clunky for the urgency of the moment - vs the potential in-universe of the condensed spell, if Finnegrin had lived to try and use it, might've led to more collateral damage than a 100% accurate ingredient list and therefore why I don't think Callum omitted anything purposefully as a result).

Then there's also the fact that everything Callum was scared of in 4x07 is now coming to pass:

I'm not afraid that [Aaravos] will hurt me. I'm afraid that he'll use me to do awful things. Or hurt people I care about.

and that he'll choose to do the awful thing > having one of his loved ones be hurt every time.

However, to talk about this scene in the way I want to, I need to talk about the scrapped line from this episode, mostly because I think it neatly verbally explains the central implied dichotomy at the heart of 5x08:

Seems to me that love's got a tighter grip on you than those chains round your wrists. So I'll do you a favour and set you free.

In episode, this line would've come before the "sea leviathan is gonna eat Rayla" reveal, but I think it sums up the dilemma that Callum has exceedingly well. He has two choices:

To let Finnegrin 'set him free,' not give into the control of others (Finnegrin and thematically Aaravos), and lose Rayla as a result. He can choose freedom over love and also protect innocent strangers

To choose to keep his chains on (dark magic) and give into Finnegrin's control of the situation ("that's the dark magic you want") in order to not lose Rayla at any cost. He can choose love over freedom even if that means risking himself and other people

And well, we all know what he chooses

#dragons liveblogs #5x08 #mini meta #analysis series #snake boi callum #captain hostage exchange theory #everything i could've ever wanted tbh #AND IT COULD HAPPEN AGAIN

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borderlinebox · 1 year

Note

Sup! hope you’re having a great day 😮💗 having childhood best friend brainrot- “you have my back right?” x “lmao probably” cheesy but I eat that shit up every time

could you write a oneshot or headcannon

for chishiya? He’s gotten/done something that’s worth celebrating (maybe it’s his birthday, got first place or a hundred on his test, got into the college that he applied to) he’s never been told by someone that they’re proud of him not even from his old man so he went on with his day expecting nothing special

But but BUT chishiya hears the familiar patterned knocks on his window, how they managed to get up there without his father knowing is beyond him but he’s relieved considering his old man isn’t all that fond with them (In this scenario id imagine that chishiya’s father wouldn’t really like us bc of our shortcomings? something like that...and if he isn’t friends with our parents)

they sneak (more like drag) him out with a lot of convincing and celebrate by going into places he would tolerate or enjoy,,rip his friend’s allowance 💸 At the end of the night they both end up on a park bench with store bought cake with messy written icing “I’m so pr he I did it bitch!!” done by yours truly. they do say it to him and give him a short side hug before he gets back home tho

Feel free to decline this! take care ⭐️

Celebrate With Me!

Summary: Reader acknowledges Chishiya's accomplishments.

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader

Warning: That good cliche shit, FLUFF, cuteness overload, not proofread!!!, changed a few things up!

A/N: ISTG I'm boutta make a Chishiya X Bestfriend! Reader bundle because these requests are too cute!! Hope you have a great day as well and take care too ^^ <3 I am incredibly happy and proud on how this turned out!!! Spent a literal 2 hours straight on it because I lost some progress and I'm gonna have my ass whooped later but this should cover the blow LOVE YALL AND THIS REQQQ ♥

Feedback is highly appreciated!!!

Chishiya sat upon his desk chair, currently finishing up some notes. Just things he's learnt or felt like he found interesting. He could use it in the future. Distant music playing from his favorite band echoed softly in his room.

There wasn't much to do. He'd recently gotten a letter from a university he had applied to - which he was successfully accepted in. He could say he was happy for himself but it just wasn't that exciting or celebration-worthy to him.

He continuously tapped the tip of the pen against the table in a rhythm, re-reading the paragraphs of various words.

SMACK

The sudden noise caught Chishiya's attention as he quickly twisted his head towards the loud noise. There, on his window, a handprint was seen as it was slowly sliding down the window, failing to stick.

Its fingers soon danced on the window, creating multiple and small taps across the glass pane without a proper flow of beat.

Chishiya sighed and stood up and opened the window to reveal his friend struggling to hold onto his window's support,

"Y/N, What are you doing here?" He wasn't at all surprised. He was just more so concerned why you were currently hanging by a thread on his window.

"I'll tell you when I get inside. Right now let's focus on the part where you shoULD BRING ME INSIDE." You flailed your legs around as you struggled to even breathe properly.

He hissed at you to stay quiet and helped you up to sneak inside.

There was a voice, somewhere in his mind where he actually wanted to leave you hanging for a while to amuse himself but that would have been a bad idea.

Once you had both your feet on the floor of his bedroom, you dusted yourself off and took a much needed breather. You had been running to his house since 45 minutes ago. It was hard with the troublesome traffic and people yelling at you as you swerved your way through them, you're just glad you've finally reached his humble abode.

"Right, Explain." He said bluntly, doing his signature move; placing his hands into his pockets. "How did you even get up here?"

You shaked your hand profusely, deflecting the topic. "Never mind that-, guess who found out when your birthday iiiisss?" You looked up at him with a tired yet mischievous grin.

"I'm guessing you."

"Me," You announced proudly while facing your thumb towards yourself, chest up in victory. "And you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it?"

"Please don't." Chishiya sighed, point-blankly. Unfortunately, there was no hope of changing the situation's circumstances because he knew when you were hooked on something, it's sure that you'll be hell-bent on getting it, no matter how stupidly dangerous or ridiculous it may seem.

You laughed before dropping down to the carpeted floor of his room and picking up your sling bag. "Now, as I was saying," Your finger dramatically pointed towards the bag. "We gotta celebrate! So we're going out and hang!"

"I really rather not." He stood his ground, stubbornly declining your offer.

"Come on, you're gonna celebrate your birthday with me!" You teased with the same playful grin you gave him. He was always so stubborn when it came to things he accomplished or failed - whether you wanna celebrate it or cheer him up. Either way, you were going to be even more stubborn than him this time.

"No." He muttered out sternly.

"Yes," You pushed with determination. "We are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes"

"No-"

"Why not??" You broke the repetitive, single-worded debate and gave him a sad look. "You never celebrate anything. Don't you want me to show you how happy and proud I am for you, Chishiya?"

Chishiya seemed to be broken from his train of thought at his words. He was silent, but you could tell that he was processing your words and calculating a response as if he was some kind of robot. You'd have to be honest, he kind of is one sometimes-

"Fine, I'll go and celebrate my birthday." Was all he said, his condescending look seeming to have disappeared - replaced with an unreadable expression.

It didn't feel like an answer at all - you felt disappointed. But you decided to push away those feelings for later because you were still ecstatic about your achievement and that's what mattered.

"W-Wonderful! You go get prepared or something!" You told him in a panic frenzy and opened the window from where you cam from. "I'll wait for you to climb out the window!"

And before waiting for his response, the last thing Chishiya saw of you was you already dipping out of the window and landed on the lush grass, in pain - as he presumed. He quickly changed and made his way down the stairs, being granted the permission to leave.

Chishiya would probably be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit concerned for your well being when you jumped out of that window.

To his surprise, when he went outside, he saw you standing proudly with a little dirt in your hair and face.

"You goof??" He asked, eyeing you up and down.

"Perfect, Great! I didn't get hurt, totally didn't - I think I sprained my wrist but that's totally fixed now." You spoke quickly, not even giving him a chance to say another word since you had grabbed him by his wrist. "Now come on! We don't have all day."

"Was this necessary?" Chishiya mutters blankly as he takes in the view of the park. It was a rather quiet, and less populated park wherever you and Chishiya both lived. Not many people visited everyday but there were still some who came often. Parks that were more widely known had a bigger crowd and you know Chishiya enough to know that he doesn't like big crowds. Especially the noise that comes with it.

"It was either this or the carnival next place." You turned to him and raised your brow.

"I think I prefer the park." He shrugged. It wasn't a bad place at all - Fairly clean and a decent view. You would sometimes come here alone and think, maybe even attempt to bring Chishiya over. But he was either busy or too stubborn to go. Thankfully, you managed to corner him.

Even though Chishiya let you take him here this time.

Both of you took your time there, having deep talks which mostly started off with why he hadn't really celebrated many past birthdays, which made you frown a lot. Chishiya thought it was half a mistake to give you that information after you had told him that you were gonna celebrate his birthday for him every year instead.

He may be lying if he didn't appreciate it.

The rest of the time, both of you walked and talked on the more philosophical topics. Just the precious quality time between two great lov friends, walking underneath the cloudy weather with strands of sunlight pushing through and landing on the cobblestone pavements.

It didn't seem much as a birthday celebration to the regular human etiquette but you could care less because both of you were having. swell time. Even if neither of you said it. It was a bonding time that didn't need the use of an explanation and more of a feeling.

Your eye was caught by a flock of ducks roaming around a side of a pond next to a woman selling duck food or pieces of bread. Chishiya must've noticed this since you had fully stopped walking and stood in place, staring at them.

"You wanna feed the ducks?" His voice brought you out of your mini daydream, he had his natural high charm evident in his face and voice.

"I, well, if you want to. It's your birthday, not mine.." You mumbled out, it was a bit low for anyone to actually process your words, seeing that you would be a little upset that you didn't feed those ducks.

"Okay then," He lightly smiles and walks his way past you with a bored yet slightly amused expression. "Let's go feed those ducks."

Like a little kid who had been given permission to sleep over at his friend's house, you giddily smiled and practically swooshed right on past him and over to the woman selling the small bits of food.

You quickly bought two small bags and handed one over to Chishiya. He took the bag filled with small, multiple pieces of duckfeed into his hands and looked back up at you. "If I'm gonna feed the ducks, you've gotta feed them too." You told him with a bright smile before kneeling down to the ducks.

Chishiya opened the bag and shook around its contents before taking out a handful and throwing it onto the ground the ducks stood upon with a blank face.

However, you had a cute and dorky smile on your face while you handfed them all equally. Some of them bit you by accident but it was no more painful than a light pinch. Your smile was bright enough to light up a whole room, Chishiya thought as he held back the urge to smile at your antics.

A chuckle from the old vendor caught both of your attention. When she noticed she sighed softly, "Sorry,"

You smiled, "No worries! It's absolutely fine! Why were you chuckling anyway?" Hand finding its way to the bag full of duck feed to gather some more and hand over the pieces to the ducks.

She grinned at the both of you. "Both of you are so cute, are you a couple?"

The question caught both of you off guard. You could quite literally feel the tension rise in the atmosphere. You felt your breath hitch and your lungs close as it denied you to breath from the sudden question.

"No! No, heh, we're just friends." You shot up with an awkward smile at the lady who had understood the tension between her and you both. You look back up at Chishiya with a nervous look on your face. "Isn't that right, Chi?"

He appeared to have froze due to your question. Or was he just standing still and silent because he had zoned out? Was he deeply immersed in his thoughts?

"No, we're friends." Chishiya confirmed. You expected that answer but you couldn't help but feel the pang in your heart when he actually said it.

The vendor nodded and apologized once again for asking such a question. She went back to her small stand to mind her own business instead.

Now you and Chishiya kept on feeding the ducks until both your bags were completely empty, all in awkward silence. Not one of you tried to break the ice since it appeared that no one had anything to say after that question.

You turned to thank the lady before leaving with Chishiya without a word.

Upon arriving back at the park's entrance Chishiya decided to finally break the silence. "Well? Where are you dragging me off to next?" He asked, raising a brow at you. You had almost completely forgotten the reason why you had went out in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Slipping your hand into your slingbag, you pulled out a small crumpled paper and unfolded it.Chishiya tried to lean in and read but you pulled the paper closer to you. "Hey! Don't peek on the surprise." You pouted, forgetting all about the question for a moment.

He put his hand up defensively but it was no more than a sarcastic tease. "No peeking." He repeats before shoving his hands into his pockets once again. Chishiya was almost never seen with his hands outside his pockets outside of his home. It was almoat natural and expected.

Once you were sure he wouldn't peek again, you opened up the piece of paper before folding it once more.

"I got an idea."

"You looked at the paper which most likely had the idea.

"I have an idea." You repeated, dismissing his smart assness. "Follow me!" And once again, you boldly took a hold of his wrist and started to dash to whatever place you were dragging him to next.

The warm light of the welcome sign greeted the both of you as you stood outside a relatively new, and decently small café. And sketchy enough, the stores it was between in was a shady dentist's office and a run-down, forever closed drug store.

"This is the new coffee shop that opened last week." Chishiya noticed, looking up at the hangout's name to remember it. "It certainly has a sketchy location."

"That's cause this was the only place the owner could afford. In fact, they're actually quite creeped out by the stores beside it. I feel bad." You explained briefly, glancing at the side shops. "But that's not what we're here for, dear friend."

You pushed him inside the cafe and it was definitely much better on the inside than the out. It had relatively creamy walls and warm lights. You were surprised that the place wasn't filled with people. Tempting enough to keep this place as a secret, all to yourself.

"Sit the hell down." You brought Chishiya to a corner seat - which is, in a natural rule, one of the best seats a restaurant or any place could ask for - and sitting in front of him.

"It isn't a bad place, I'll give it that." Your bleach haired friend admitted, his eyes still roaming around. "What gave you the idea?"

A giggle escaped your lips, "I wanted to try it out. I actually visited the place a few days ago. It was completely different than now. They changed it a lot." You shrugged, "And I thought of you when I stepped in here. I thought you'd like the place."

Chishiya smiled lightly, which was again; rare. "It's good."

"Better than-"

"I haven't decided yet." He cut you off before you could finish which resulted in you giving him a cheeky smirk.

He couldn't help but feel good about himself when you admitted that you thought of him when you found this place. It felt truly honorable than his straight A's and cards with that big ol' red 'Accepted' on it. It was something near to a foreign feeling.

"About what that vendor said-" You were immediately cut off by a waiter coming up, asking for your orders. You coughed into your arm at the sudden surprise and ordered your preferred drink.

Chishiya glanced at you and the waiter, what was with the question? He quickly ordered his own drink as you thanked the waiter before they left.

Another set of an awkward silence filled between the both of you. He was curious about your earlier question but didn't want to push you, you looked embarassed enough after choking on your own spit.

"Don't think about it. She just made a mistake, it's fine." Chishiya wanted to say something else but decided to take matters into his own hands instead. "It's not that uncommon. Sometimes expected."

You nodded at his words. "Right.. I forgot, they have board games here! You wanna play?" You beamed up, changing the subject. He glanced his eyes to the side, finding the board games that you were talking about.

All of them were stacked on a small bookshelf that had a good amount of books on it as well.

"Sure, we'll play." He shrugged without a care. "Why don't you choose the game, Y/N?"

You hummed out a yes and took your time; reading all the board game labels. There were many of them but you wanted to try out something bold, something Chishiya would actuallu want to play with you. "Ah! Chess."

Why Chess? You finally processed your declaration.

"Oh, Chess?" Chishiya looked back at you. What a bold declaration of war. "Sure, why not."

You felt yourself gulp and begin to pray for your mistakes and for your well being, choosing a game like this against a guy like Chishiya. You've already made a decision and stood up and made your walk of shame towards the small chess board.

Bringing the board to your table, you gathered yourself the confidence and smacked the board down.

"Bring it on, Shuntaro." A smirk appeared on your face, a bold glimmer in your eyes.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." You burp out, watching your side of the chess board with bored and tired eyes. You've already accepted your death wish an hour ago.

Now you were here with two empty cups, 3 hours that passed by and found yourself with only a King and a Pawn against Chishiya's fucking army. You've paid for your drinks an hour ago and you were still here, suffering.

"You chose the game." He defended. He looked unchanged - just the same guy three hours ago. Meanwhile you sat in front of him, a hand in your hair and tired eyes.

You weren't sleepy, you were just tired of watching your entire empire fall.

"You're enjoying this, I know it. Behind those blank eyes of yours? You're enjoying this." An almost pathetically dramatic voice of sulking came from you as you connected your forehead onto the table.

You could feel him shrug in front of you.

"But alas!" You rose dramatically, "That was my plan all along!" You moved your king to the line of sight of his queen, making yourself lose. "I forfeit. Besides, we're gonna miss the best part of today!"

Chishiya watched as you obliterated yourself and throwing the chess pieces off the board and clean up. "Fun game." He responded to your actions.

"It was not at all fair." You pushed and closed the board up when you finished counting off the chess pieces and went off to put it back in respect. "You're far smarter than me and you know it."

"You chose th-"

"Yeah, Yeah. 'I chose the game' and whatnot, I get it." You echoed him in an immature tone of voice, but you'd never deny his intelligence. He technically carried you through physics and math.

He stood up and walked out beside you, hearing the same waiter who served you both give their thanks.

"The last stop shouldn't be too far from here." You were looking at that old crumpled piece of paper you had a while ago.

After just a few minutes, maybe 10, of walking, you found both yourselves in front of a popular convenience store joint that you and Chishiya always went to for a quick lunch or snack break when you were both in highschool.

You lead him to a black bench right across the small store and placed your things down, taking your wallet out your bag.

"Stay here." You smiled before running into the building.

Chishiya stared at the all too familiar black bench. No, he didn't sit, the black bench gave him an overflow of memories when you both hung out here. You and Chishiya would buy anything you both wanted and were able to buy from the store and sit out here, exchanging notes and occasionally jokes. He smiled at the thought.

"I told you to sit!" You pointed at him accusingly as you held a brown paper bag in your other arm. The sounds of the bells on the doors clinged together when you exited the building.

"I was." Chishiya turned his way to you.

"After almost 10 minutes of me being in there? Come on." You chuckled and decided to sit down on the black bench yourself. He followed right after you. "Check out what I got!"

You ruffled your hand into the paper bag with joy, tongue sticking out and biting softly on the muscle. "Boom!" You cheered when you took it out.

It was a small almost medium, cute pink cake - which was his favorite whipped strawberry flavor - with Chishiya's favorite cookies decorated on the outer curve.

You handed it to chishiya with the same dorky smile you had when you were feeding the ducks at the park. He observed the writing on the cake with narrow eyes.

'Hapi'

'You de'

'Congratatulations!!!'

Despite the spelling error, and the very messy writing, you still smiled like an idiot and Chishiya couldn't help but appreciate the fucked up cake. He actually showed you his smile that time.

Can you believe it? Making Chishiya smile 3 maybe even 4 times today?

It made yourself smile even wider that you had to put your chin on your hands.

"You spelled 'Congra-"

"I'm aware of my mistake Chishiya but there's clearly no more room for anymore mistakes on that cake." You pointed at the cake which really did have no more room for anymore icing.

He exhaled with a smile, his way of laughing or chuckling at you genuinely at best, before opening the plastic lid.

"Oh and, if you want anymore of your bland ass cookies, there's more in the bag. Can't understand why you like that crap." You jokingly gave him a cringed look and stuck your tongue out in disgusted exaggeration. But, you got it for him.

"Fork?" Chishiya asked, looking back up at you.

"Oh shit, yeah I forgot." You opened up your sling and pulled out two plastic forks. "I figured that there wasn't going to be any free forks in the store so I decided to bring some."

Handing him one, you were more than ready to eat the cake with him.

As both of you dipped in for the first bite, you both heard the sounds of popping in the sky which caught Chishiya off his guard.

Fireworks were in the sky. All different colors, blending in so well in the night sky.

"Would you look at that." You said in awe through the cake in your mouth. "I wonder who put that there."

"You did something, didn't you?" Chishiya looked at you, unamused but still appreciative. You could tell it through the way how soft his eyes looked. It was much softer and quite happier than usual, and you were proud.

"I may have asked some friends." You shrugged, meeting his gaze.

Both of you had not only the warm light emitting from the convenience store, but the different colors of the fireworks that temporarily glowed on both of your faces.

You thought he looked so pretty in all of the colored sparks of light. You could get used to his eyes if it were like this.

"I'm really happy and proud of you, Chish." You said all full of truth, hitting his shoulder playfully. "You need to hear it sometimes, no?"

"I guess." Chishiya answered with a shrug again, lifting another fork full of cake near his mouth. "Thanks, I think."

You chuckled, finally hearing those words come out of his mouth felt so satisfying to you. You were even sure he never really said it all to anyone. The sparks in the sky continued to flash in the sky all so beautifully. "Don't mention it."

Maybe he could get used to this, having someone like you. It made him feel all warm and proud for once.

#aib #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader #chishiya x reader #x reader #chishiya shuntaro #aib x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader #box writes #chishiya

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kaleuh · 3 days

Note

tell me about ghis GlenMac?

I WILL Tell you about GlenMac !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS GLENMAC (Official Book Art) AND THEN HERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM WITH HIS BEST BUDDY, Adjunct Professor and Graduate Jackson Green (art that me and my group got commissioned of them by nico on twitter!)

FULL NAME: Glenn MaClanahan (If you're formal, it's Professor MaClanahan, but all the students gave him the nickname GlenMac!)

He's a professor in the Anthropology Department at East Texas University, located in the cozy town of Pinebox, Texas. He and Jackson know fully well that there's something extremely uncozy about Pinebox, though. When you (the player) attend ETU as a freshman, you are quick to notice that there is something very unnerving about the town, and the school. Rumors of ghosts, monsters, and rituals—things that could easily be explained away by pointing at college students and children in town with too much liquor and imagination. GlenMac and Jackson are here to tell your character: No! You are not crazy! You definitely saw the ghost of a student who was burned alive in the gymnasium!

GlenMac (as well as Jackson) are the NPCs in this story who are initially there to serve your character with an introduction to the supernatural. GlenMac can really be any professor-appropriate age (I believe the book says he’s in his 40s but given the book art our DM [my boyfriend!!] deemed him to be 32 in our game. He also thought it would make sense to make him younger since him and Jackson (who is in his mid 20s) are supposed to be close pals.)

GlenMac has been investigating the supernatural for years, and deeply cares about the well-being of his students. Anyone who comes to his office hours for help will never be turned away—especially if "weird stuff" has been happening to them. In his office you'll also meet his life-long companion, a Scottish Terrier named Argyle, with whom he takes on regular walks throughout campus. He is overly caring and self-sacrificing to a fault, though, willingly placing himself in danger to protect someone who needs it. He's aware that students will occasionally stumble upon magic resources and rituals—because of this, he's been said to be searching for a method in which anyone can safely accomplish a ritual...without having to sacrifice anything to the Magical Powers That Be in return. Which seems like a great idea! A Professor with a deep thirst for the knowledge and power of the unknown, also willing to try literally anything, even if it means putting himself at the whims of Possibly Dark Magic for the good of others. It will work out fine for him, is what I've been telling myself!

SO OF COURSE, because it's a TTRPG, not all GlenMacs are the same. Here are some other fast facts about the GlenMac I know, and why I'm insane about him:

When my basketball himbo son (my character Trey) went through a tough breakup during freshman year, him and Jackson played Boggle with him and the party until he cheered up.

Also when my son was alone and sad in Pinebox during summer vacation, GlenMac adorned his best dork-ass dad jock attire and joined him on morning runs (with Argyle).

He's often stressed and formal but under that he is Sweet and A Tad Silly and a bit of a dork and god. we love him for it

GlenMac doesn't really pay attention to current pop-culture stuff online but if you tell him he Lost the Game he WILL get mad.

Unbelievable in that turtleneck.

Grew up in North Dakota, had a big falling out with his parents and has been largely alone. It's implied that he never really had a friend like Jackson, up until him (and depending on how nice your party is to him, your group.)

AND YOU CAN TELL HE'S LONELY. GOD. HE PUTS EVERYTHING INTO THIS WORK AND HIS STUDENTS. How much time he spends alone with his thoughts...the supernatural stuff probably pushed anyone he cared about away. He has his little apartment with his folded-cornered books and half-finished coffee cups and toys for his dog...but we want him to meet someone So bad 😭 (GOD I wish it were me.)

His desire to know the unknown and try things "just to see if he can" is dangerous, reckless, scary, and a little unhinged...he a little fucked up...I'm scared for him...(but its also...😳...).

This is not canon to our game but we keep joking about how girls on Rate My Professor won't stop referring to him as "Big Mac" and that he's desperately been trying to get those reviews removed.

If you ever get curious about East Texas University, I highly recommend it! I love the Savage Worlds system so much!! We're playing the East Texas University “Degrees of Horror” adventures, which is the "main plot" campaign for East Texas University (we also do some 12-to-Midnight adventures.) I think the story can be set anywhere in the 2000's so we just set ours in modern day.

We're not finished yet, but it has truly been a life-changing story so far!

GENUINELY, TRULY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING

#East Texas University #Savage Worlds #I genuinely don't know how much of my enjoyment is from the book/how much of it is from our DM just being incredible #but it's just been the absolute greatest tabletop experience for me #also 10. our GlenMac CAN'T SWIM!!!! HE CAN'T SWIM!!!! AND I DON'T EXIST IN THAT WORLD TO TEACH H #ME BANGING AT THE UNIVERSE WALLS SEPARATING US: I SEE YOU DON'T HAVE A LIFEGUARD HERE AT YOUR BEACH

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tyuninthemirror · 1 year

Text

— better man: c.yj

— pairing: college!yeonjun x fem!reader — genre: fluff-ish, angst-ish — word count: 4702 — disclaimers: university au, reader is soobin's older sister, mentions of food, alcohol, marijuana, smoking and hints of sex. they party here and there. kinda enemies to friends. — synopsis: everything yeonjun ever thought was good suddenly meant nothing because he found something better. — series masterlist

— author's note: slowburn fanfic, it's kinda painful to watch, you've been warned. lmaaaao. debating on whether or not i should write end up here or valentine next. 🤔 (edited 6/30)

"Y/N!" Yeonjun watched from the kitchen window as Soobin dashed across their shared lawn, engulfing you in a hug as you exited the cab.

"Hey, Binnie," you returned the hug, squeezing the taller boy. He helps you get your bags from the cab's trunk and shows you into the house.

"Hey, guys! Y/N's here," Soobin hollered as you got to the entrance. Three boys walk down the stairs, and another emerges from what you assumed was the kitchen since he wore an apron around his waist.

"Hello, my name is Y/N, Soobin's older sister," you introduced. "Thanks for allowing me to stay for two weeks."

The room echoed with a chorus of "nice to meet yous." After some more small talk with the boys, Soobin showed you to his room.

"The seniors decided to go on a trip this spring break, so it's just us younger ones in the frat house," Soobin explained when you asked why only five of them were there. "By the way, Yeonjun decided to throw a party tonight. I thought I'd let you know."

"Aww, cute, I get to experience the local party life," you said with a grin. You were a year older than Soobin, and when you graduated from high school, you chose to study in Japan. Being so far apart from your brother was the most challenging part. On the rare occasions you saw each other, you never had enough time to spend together, so in your third year of college, you both decided to spend spring break on his campus.

"We don't have to stay for the party if you don't want to," Soobin said as he unzipped your luggage. Since he knew you weren't the partying type, he considered taking you out to dinner instead.

"Don't worry," you said, pinching the taller boy's cheek and choosing to tease him. "I want to see you in this habitat. You must be breaking hearts everywhere, huh?"

Soobin groaned and slapped your hand away. "You'd break my bones if I broke hearts everywhere."

"You're damn right," you said. "Our parents raised you better than that."

"I know," Soobin said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, that's Yeonjun's forte."

"Well, as long as he's not out here trying to break yours, that's his problem."

By the time you had finished unpacking in Soobin's room, it was close to 4 pm. While he was in the bathroom taking a shower, he asked you to check if there was anything to eat in the kitchen.

"Oh, sorry for intruding," you quickly say when you see Yeonjun chopping up some limes in the kitchen.

"No biggie," he said with a grin.

"Are you getting ready for the party tonight?" you asked, looking at all the different alcoholic drinks on the table.

"Yeah, I made some jello shots earlier, just finishing up on some garnishes," Yeonjun replied as he continued chopping. You hum in acknowledgment as you walk behind him and towards the fridge.

"Do you mind if I check out the fridge?" you asked, pointing to the large gray door.

"Knock yourself out."

When you open the refrigerator door, the odor of stale take-out hits your nose and causes your face to scrunch up. Looking around, you only see a tray of eggs, half a liter of milk, and some rotting carrots begging you to use them.

"Are you looking for something to eat?" Yeonjun asked as you closed the door. "Sorry, we don't cook much at home, but we have pizza coming in about two hours."

"I don't think Soobin will last two hours," you mumble, leaning against the counter. You pause for a moment, contemplating what you could make with the ingredients in the fridge. "You don't mind if I cook, do you?"

Half an hour later, you overhear one of the boys yell, "I SMELL FOOD, IS THE PIZZA HERE?" and then hear some heavy thumping sounds that you take to be someone running down the stairs. Kai appears in the kitchen a few seconds later.

"Sorry, Kai, no pizza here, just egg rolls," you chuckled as you cut the rolled-up egg into bite-sized pieces and arranged them on the tray.

Yeonjun had been watching your every move since you began cooking.

"Is that for us?" the younger boy wondered aloud, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Go away, Kai. It's for Soobin," Huening Kai's shoulders slumped in disappointment as Yeonjun shooed him.

"Don't be mean," you scolded, lightly jabbing Yeonjun's side with your elbow. "This is obviously for you too, Kai."

"I thought you were preparing food for Soobin?" Yeonjun asked, perplexed, as you took six forks from the dish rack.

"How is Soobin supposed to consume a dozen eggs' worth of egg rolls, Yeonjun?"

"Wow, there's food!" yelled Taehyun as he came downstairs when Yeonjun called the other guys to come eat.

"It's not much, but it's probably a good idea to eat something before an alcohol binge," you explain. You can't help but smile as you watch the boys dig in.

"This is better than cheap pizza," Beomgyu cried, stuffing another piece into his mouth.

"Thanks, Y/N," said Soobin with the cutest grin. You knew Soobin was lying when he said he wasn't out here breaking people's hearts.

It was almost 2 am, but the party was still in full swing. Yeonjun had an arm around Yeri as he smoked a cigarette on the front porch with his other friends. He figured the other guys had probably locked themselves in Beomgyu's room playing games by now.

"Hey, who's that chick in white?" San asked, pointing his head in the direction of the living room. "Never seen her on campus before."

Yeonjun's gaze followed San's direction, and he realized he was referring to you. "That's Soobin's sister, Y/N."

"Fuck, Soobin never mentioned having such a hot sister," San muttered as you obliviously continued your conversation with Yuqi from journalism in the other room. Yeonjun's eyebrow twitched slightly in response to San's remark. He knew how much Soobin looked up to you, so hearing someone say something like that about you irritated him.

"Maybe because he knew you would say that?" Mingi laughed.

"That's not cool, man," Yeonjun added, shaking his head.

"You're kidding, right? You said the same thing about Wooyoung's cousin last week," San scoffed. That caused Yeonjun to become silent.

"I don't think she's that attractive," Yeri said, breaking the silence. She found it annoying that they were discussing some unknown girl. "Besides, she's a nobody. Let's go play beer pong or something."

As Yeonjun opened his eyes, he groaned, the alcohol he had consumed not settling well. He looks over to his left and notices Yeri's bare back. Dehydrated and hungover, he puts on some clothes before heading downstairs.

"Hey, that's not nice," Yeonjun hears someone in the kitchen say.

Scratching his head, he walks towards the kitchen, only to be nearly knocked over by someone he recognizes as one of Yeri's friends dashing out of the kitchen and the front door.

"What was that about?" he asked when he realized it was you in the kitchen. The two bags of groceries sitting on their somewhat dirty counter caught his eye.

"Good morning to you, too," you said, laughing at Yeonjun's bed hair and puffy face. "A friend of yours was trying to sneak off with the unopened whisky bottles."

"No wonder we always run out of alcohol," he mumbled. You washed your hands and watched as Yeonjun searched through cabinets for something. His shoulders sag, and he frowns at you as he holds up an empty box of aspirin.

"Luck is on your side. I picked up a box and some Gatorade," you said as you rummaged through your groceries. "Could you bring some up for Soobin and the others while I make some food? I think they are pretty hungover too."

After passing the aspirin and drinks around, Yeonjun returned to his room to find an empty bed. Yeri probably left while he was downstairs, not that he cared.

Yeonjun took a quick shower before returning downstairs to find Soobin and Taehyun setting the table, the smell of soybean stew wafting through the house.

"It's time to eat," you said, bringing out a pot of stew, Huening Kai and Beomgyu following you with bowls of rice and side dishes. There was a weird feeling in the pit of Yeonjun's stomach. They've never really had a proper meal post-drinking; he'd usually choose to drink more to combat the hangover symptoms.

"You know you don't have to do this, right?" You turned around to see Yeonjun standing at the front door, arms crossed. You had noticed the cigarette buds outside when you returned home with groceries and decided to sweep them up after lunch with the boys.

Yeonjun had been watching you while you did chores around the house, and it was starting to annoy him.

"What do you mean?" you asked as you continued sweeping. Yeonjun watched as you gathered the cigarette buds he and his friends had thrown on the floor the night before.

"I thought you were on vacation. You're making it appear as if Soobin asked you to come here and clean up after us," Yeonjun said. The tone of his voice made your eye twitch.

"Listen," you coughed, lowering the broom. You place your hands around your waist and face the taller boy. "First and foremost, I'm sorry you think cleaning up is a chore; it's actually therapeutic for me."

"Secondly," you continued. "I'm sorry if I offended you by cleaning up while I'm a guest here. I'll stop after I finish sweeping these up. Cigarettes are gross."

"Guys, let's go," Yeonjun yelled as he put on his sneakers. San was hosting a party at his house, and everyone was invited. They all decided to go except you and Soobin, who chose to stay at home.

It's been three days since you arrived, and you and Yeonjun still haven't spoken to each other after that incident on the front porch.

"Coming," Beomgyu said as he dashed to put his shoes on, Taehyun close behind.

"Where is Kai?" Yeonjun asked, noticing the absence of the youngest.

"He decided to stay home and play Ticket to Ride with Soobin and Y/N," Taehyun shrugged.

Yeonjun scoffed, "Lame, staying home for a board game."

"Hey, I was tempted too," Beomgyu admitted. "I'm only coming because I heard Sieun will be at the party."

"And I'm only going because Kai refused to let me be the yellow train car," Taehyun revealed.

"Weirdos," Yeonjun mumbled under his breath, but still unconsciously glanced up the stairs to see if anyone else would join them.

You opened your eyes, but all you could see was complete blackness. You checked the time on your phone; it was nearly 5 am. You look to your right to see Soobin's sleeping face, then peek at the floor to see Huening Kai sprawled on the floor, hugging a giant plushie.

You three ordered fried chicken, had a few cans of beer, and played a few rounds of Ticket to Ride before settling in to watch the Avengers to end the night. Huening Kai dozed off halfway through the movie, and you didn't have the heart to wake him up.

You carefully crawl out of Soobin's bed, making sure not to wake him, and tiptoe past Huening Kai's scattered limbs.

You try not to laugh as you reach the bottom of the stairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Beomgyu was sleeping on the three-seater sofa, Taehyun on top of him, his left shoe missing. You look at the entryway and see Yeonjun sleeping with his back against the front door.

"It looks like they never made it to bed," you laughed. After finishing your glass of water, you set out some aspirin and a pitcher of water on the living room table for the guys to take in the morning.

"I'm never drinking again," Beomgyu groaned from the living room sofa when they finally woke up sometime later in the day. "Why didn't you make me stay, Kai?"

"I tried!" Huening Kai defended from across the room.

"Maybe don't drink so much next time," you laugh.

The next few days passed relatively quickly. Soobin took you to a night market near campus one day, and you all went on a hike the next.

You and Yeonjun were on better terms. Soobin and the others knew about the slight tension but chose not to ask.

Despite the awkwardness with Yeonjun, the six of you had gotten closer, even talking about their plans after college and the jobs they wanted to get. There was even a day you spent a couple of hours teaching the boys how to cook.

"I can't believe you're leaving in a week," Soobin grumbled. "I won't be able to see you again until Christmas."

"You could always move to Japan with me," you joked as the six of you ate take-out Chinese food at the dining room table.

"How do you want to spend your last week?" Taehyun asked. Yeonjun's ears perked up, anticipating your response.

"I'm not sure," you mumbled. "To be honest, I'm chill."

"I heard Hyunjin and his friends are throwing a party tonight. If anyone wants to go?" Beomgyu suggested. "Or have we had enough of partying?"

"Is Hyunjin the blond guy who came with the guy named Felix?" you asked, trying to recall the people you met the night before. "I think Yuqi introduced me to them."

"That's the one," Beomgyu confirmed. "I believe Yuqi will be there tonight. too."

"All right, let's go!"

Yeonjun stood across the room, holding a red solo cup, watching you walk around the house with Yuqi.

Yeri stood beside him, talking about something, but he wasn't really paying attention.

Fifth. Yeonjun watched as a fifth guy approached you that night, and it turned out to be Changbin from computer engineering, one of Hyunjin's friends. He frowned as you managed to get Changbin to stop hitting on you and walk away. That was the fifth time you turned someone away that night.

Yeonjun wondered where Soobin was and why he wasn't with you.

"Yeonjun? Are you listening?" Yeri groaned in frustration at the boy's lack of response.

"Huh?" Yeonjun asked, finally averting his gaze from you. Yeri looked in the direction Yeonjun was looking and noticed you in the distance.

"Nevermind," Yeri stomped away, rolling her eyes.

Yeonjun pushed himself off the wall and went to the kitchen to fill his empty cup. As he entered, he noticed Soobin grabbing a beer from the counter.

"Hey," Soobin said, nodding to acknowledge Yeonjun's presence.

"Hey, where have you been?"

"Mostly in the backyard," Soobin replied, opening the can of beer he was holding in his hand.

"Uh, guys keep hitting on your sister," Yeonjun says, wondering if he knew that.

"Don't worry about her, she can handle herself," Soobin laughed as he took a sip of his beer. "How about you? I'm surprised you and Yeri haven't gone upstairs yet."

"Didn't feel like it," Yeonjun shrugged as he poured Jack Daniels into his cup before topping it off with Coke.

"Binnie," you cried as you entered the kitchen and noticed the second figure in the room. "Hey, Yeonjun."

"What's the matter?" Soobin asked.

"I'm a little bored; do any of you want to get some ice cream down the road?"

That's how you and Yeonjun ended up three blocks down the road at 11 pm for ice cream.

Soobin wanted to come along, but when a girl you later learn is named Tzuyu invited him to a game of beer pong, he suddenly couldn't speak in complete sentences without stuttering. You did him a favor by uninviting him to the ice cream adventure.

"Was the party really that boring?" Yeonjun wondered as you ate your ice cream cones on the benches outside the shop.

"Not really, Yuqi was leaving, and I didn't really want to talk to anyone else," you admitted. "Thanks for tagging along, sorry for making you miss the party."

"Don't worry about it," he said, shrugging.

"I know it's early, but if it's okay with you, I might head back first," you said as you finished your ice cream. "I know my way back. Just let Soobin know I went home first. I kinda wanna binge some of the new episodes of Brooklyn 99."

Yeonjun paused for a moment. The party tonight wasn't really doing it for him, and he knew it. Maybe because he wasn't drunk yet? He could go back and catch up with Yeri, but that didn't sound like much fun.

"Actually, I'll head back with you if you don't mind rewatching older episodes," Yeonjun grinned. "I'm still watching season two." That was the first time Yeonjun had left or ended a party sober since starting college.

"Has anyone seen Yeonjun?" Beomgyu asked as he walked into the living room where Soobin, Taehyun, and Huening Kai sat watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

"Probably in his room or in my room bingeing Brooklyn 99 with Y/N. They've been at it for two days," Soobin answered, eyes never leaving the screen.

"San's been asking where he is. Apparently, he missed their house party last night. He even left Hyunjin's party early the other night," Beomgyu added, plopping himself on an empty seat to join their movie marathon. "They thought he left with Yeri, but she was playing strip poker with the other guys."

"Shh, we're trying to watch the movie peacefully," Taehyun hushed.

"Besides, isn't that a good thing? You always complain about how much alcohol he consumes," Soobin continued. "And he only smokes around San's group."

"That's true," Beomgyu sighed.

"Guys, shut up," Taehyun groaned.

Soobin wasn't stupid - he'd like you and Yeonjun to believe he was oblivious, but he wasn't.

Although Soobin and Yeonjun didn't always hang out with the same people, Yeonjun was one of his closest friends, and you were his sister.

Did he mind that you were spending more time with Yeonjun than with him? Just a tad. Was he opposed to it? Not at all.

He thought back to the mornings when Yeonjun would come home from a night out, hungover and drunk, or to the times when he would find Yeonjun high as a kite after spending time with Yeri. Both were a twice a week occurrences, but Yeonjun hadn't been to a party or hung out with San and the others in 3 days.

Soobin had always known his sister was a bit old-fashioned. She wasn't a killjoy or anything, but she did have some more traditional morals and virtues, like when she told him off when he said he wanted to try vaping. She responded, "Why? Because all of your friends are? Would you rather spend your money on food or on air that could harm your health?"

Who would have guessed that someone like his sister could have such a positive impact on Yeonjun?

Soobin knew he had to be supportive whether your relationship with Yeonjun was platonic or blooming into something.

How?

By making you both spend more time together.

"Are they for real?" Yeonjun groaned, reading the grocery list. "Do they think you're a cooking machine or something?"

You laughed at Yeonjun's rant as you both walked to the grocery store in town. Earlier, you and Yeonjun had been discussing dinner options; typically, the boys would name a restaurant or some such, but your dear brother had insisted on your cooking, so now you were on your way to the store to pick up ingredients with him after the other four boys unvolunteered themselves, leaving Yeonjun to help.

"I don't mind," you assured Yeonjun as you re-read the grocery list. "I enjoy cooking, and there isn't really anyone for me to cook for in Japan."

Yeonjun fell silent at the mention of Japan. He and the other boys had grown used to seeing you around, so talking about your departure felt strange.

The two of you seemed to be getting along better recently. Apart from your shared love for Brooklyn 99, you found his personality endearing. He was loud and expressive, different from you and Soobin, but you enjoyed his company.

He, too, had gradually come to understand you better. He mistook you for a snooty know-it-all at first but finally realized you were just the type to take care of other, and that was your love language.

You and Yeonjun arrive at the supermarket, and you walk ahead while Yeonjun follows behind, pushing the shopping cart.

"Do you know where the flour is?" you asked Yeonjun, but before you could respond, someone called his name. Yeonjun turns around to see San and Mingi standing at the far end of the aisle.

"Where have you been, Choi Yeonjun?" San asked as the two lightly bumped shoulders.

"Busy, I see," Mingi answered for him as he took notice of your presence. "Hi."

"Hello, my name is Y/N," you said with a small smile.

"San, nice to meet you," San said, holding his hand for you to shake.

"You too," you say, shaking his hand with a tight-lipped smile. There's a faint smell of cigarette smoke on his clothes, and it makes you feel a little queasy. You didn't miss Yeonjun's shoulders tensing up in the presence of the two boys around you.

"Wanna go outside for a smoke?" Mingi asked, pointing his finger toward the exit.

"Nah, man, we're late for dinner," Yeonjun responds, turning around and motioning you to continue walking.

"There's a party at our house tonight!" San's voice can be heard calling from behind you. "See you there, Yeonjun."

The rest of your time in the shop is spent in awkward silence without either of you making any small talk, which makes you feel uneasy. You wondered why Yeonjun was silent. As far as you know, you just met his friends. Did he not want to be seen with you?

"Sooo, you smoke too?" you asked as you both made your way back home, remembering your earlier encounter and attempting to strike up a conversation.

"Yeah, so what?" Yeonjun snapped, which caught you off guard. You asked him a question, not expecting him to respond the way he did.

"Oh, just because earlier-"

"What are you gonna do now? Judge me? Call me disgusting for smoking?" Yeonjun snickered angrily before you could finish your sentence. You froze in your tracks, offended by his tone of voice.

"Listen, you jerk, I've never even come close to judging you," you spit out. "Even though I don't like smoking, that doesn't mean I'm going to judge everyone who does! The hell is wrong with you?"

Yeonjun stood there, puzzled by your outburst. Several innocent bystanders rush past you, not wanting to be a part of whatever is going on.

"Get your head out of your ass," you spat as you continued walking, eager to get home as soon as possible.

To say Soobin felt guilty would be an understatement. He couldn't fathom what could have happened for the two of you to leave the house in such high spirits and then return without saying a word to each other.

When Yeonjun entered his room, he slammed the door so loudly that the others flinched.

As you hear his door slam, you mutter, "Very mature," under your breath.

That night, only five of you ate dinner. Dinner was almost ready when you heard from Taehyun that Yeonjun had already left for San's party.

You were dumbfounded by the entire situation. You felt terrible because you couldn't figure out why Yeonjun was so upset with you.

The next few days were the same, with you and Yeonjun completely ignoring each other's presence. This was worse than when you first arrived, Soobin thought.

Yeonjun had been going to parties every night for three nights in a row, returning home completely intoxicated and once having the cops take him home.

"Is everything okay?" Soobin was finally able to ask one day while alone in the kitchen with Yeonjun.

Yeonjun looked at his friend as he poured milk into his cornflakes. "What do you mean?"

"You don't look…" Soobin began, unsure of the appropriate words to describe Yeonjun's state. "Well?"

Soobin couldn't figure out how Yeonjun's face could be puffy while his cheeks were sunken. His eyes were also bloodshot, either from the high or lack of sleep.

"Yes, I'm fine," Yeonjun responded, his teeth clenched.

"All right," Soobin chuckled nervously. "I'm dropping Y/N off at the airport with Yuqi in a few hours. Let me know if you want me to bring-"

"Is Y/N leaving today?" Panickily, Yeonjun asked. He had been so caught up in his own stuff he lost track of time, forgetting that the time with you was limited.

"Yeah, tonight at 6."

Yeonjun was torturing himself internally. He had meant to approach you the last few days, but he always chickened out and ended up at San's front door thinking, 'I can do it tomorrow'.

He hated it. He hated how time seemed to be moving so slowly at the parties these days. He hated waking up with a hangover and medicating it with more alcohol. He suddenly hated the lingering odor of cigarettes on his fingers.

He didn't mean to snap at you that night. Honestly, he had no idea why he said what he did. He wasn't addicted to or enjoyed smoking; he only started doing it when he started hanging out with San and the others.

He could have explained all of that to you, so why didn't he? Was it a matter of pride? Was it because he didn't want you to think less of him? Did he think you'd judge him for giving in to peer pressure? It didn't matter now because you were leaving, and the last thing you'd remember him doing was yelling at you.

"Y/N! Yuqi is here!" Yeonjun hears Beomgyu yell from his closed room. A few seconds later, he hears the door to Soobin's room open, followed by your luggage wheel rolling towards the stairs.

"It's now or never," he mumbled as he stood up and prepared to face you.

While you said your goodbyes, Soobin and Yuqi were sorting through your luggage in her car. You and Yuqi formed a good friendship over the last few days, even making plans together.

"I'm going to miss you all a lot," you frown as Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai stand in front of you, bidding you farewell. You can't help but be bothered by the lack of presence of a particular boy.

One by one, you draw them into a hug. Having a few more little brothers for a few weeks was nice.

"Aww, don't be too upset," Taehyun consoled. "We'll see you in a-"

"Y/N!" you heard Yeonjun's voice call out, cutting Taehyun off. You turn around to see him rushing out the front door. "I need to talk to you."

The three younger boys take it as their cue, bidding you farewell one last time before heading back inside.

"I was beginning to think you were avoiding me," you joked, chuckling awkwardly. Yeonjun couldn't help but laugh at your pathetic attempt to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry," Yeonjun says at last. "I've been rude and unfair to you."

"Hey, you don't have to explain yourself," you said. " I'm sure I upset you with my words at some point.

"Quite the opposite," Yeonjun muttered under his breath. " I've been maore mad at myself than anything else.

"What are you on about a-"

"I just don't want you to think badly of me, okay?" Yeonjun blurts out. "I didn't want you to think less of me."

"Yeonjun," you say with a smile, taking his shaking hands in yours. "I would never think badly of you. Plus, a lesser man wouldn't have admitted this to me. You need to give yourself a bit more credit."

Yeonjun breathes a sigh of relief as he hears your response. Of course, you'd say something so reassuring. Despite being the same age as him, you were far more mature.

"Y/N, we've got to get going!!!" Yuqi yells from her car. "You'll see everyone in a year!"

"A year?" Yeonjun muttered, surprised by Yuqi's words.

"Yeah, Yuqi somehow convinced me to take my master's here because we're both in the same degree," you laughed. "Besides, did you think you'd be able to get rid of me so easily?"

Yeonjun laughs out loud and pulls you into a hug. Suddenly, he was feeling regretful about the past few days.

"I promise I'll be a better man when we meet again."

"I'll be holding onto that promise. See you soon, Choi Yeonjun."

#txt fanfic #txt x reader #yeonjun x you #yeonjun x reader #txt x you #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun fluff #txt scenario #txt angst #choi yeonjun #yeonjun #txt fluff

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hestusjamsession · 1 year

Text

I’m currently farming light dragon parts (sorry Zelda) and decided to do a follow up to my last post while I wait.

This list is all Linked Universe baby. Once again, if you know the blogs of some of these authors I’d appreciate it if you could tag them.

1. Linked Universe Age Swap AU by LazuliQuetzal

Let’s kick this off with a bang. This is a series of one shots centered around the Chain being alternate ages. We got Old Man Hyrule. We got Angsty Teen Time. We got Wolfkin Wild. It’s great. Check it out.

2. Dawn of the Fourth by LazuliQuetzal

By the same author, Dawn of the Fourth is one of those fics that I don’t think I’ll be able to do justice, so here’s a snippet:

Wild reached out and brushed a finger across the body’s cheek. Then he licked his finger. “Eleven,” he decided, smacking his lips.

“Hey, what the fuck.”

“Dirt tastes different depending on age—”

“No, don’t explain it! Why are you like this, I hate you so much—“

3. The Man and the Pup by Bubbly_Kandy

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Hyrule, there were eight boys and a man all trying to exist in a world that doesn’t want them.

This one has some serious fairy tale vibes which I love. It’s also kind of dark at times. It’s not finished but maybe if I point enough people towards it the author will pick it up again. Who knows? One can dream.

4. Deserving by @a-little-bit-of-ravioli

When Colin overhears part of a conversation between his father and his adopted big brother, he decides it’s up to him and his friends to protect Link from those wishing to do him harm.

5. Malevolence by @thescrapwitch

Wolfie eats something he shouldn’t and things go downhill from there. Secrets are revealed, friendships are tested, and Ganon is a jerk.

This fic is a masterclass in tension. If you need some heavy angst with a happy ending, this is your fic.

The one shot Wolf Heart by the same author is also very good.

6. Our Nightly Confident by Wisetypewriter

Alternative titles are “Wolfie is the Best Boy” and “Men Will Literally Talk to a Wolf Before Going to Therapy.”

This was one of the first LU fics I read and it’s so sweet. If you’ve liked Lupis Vigilans (coming up) you’ll really like Our Nightly Confident.

7. The Fierce Dadity Series by @skyloftian-nutcase

A series focusing on everyone’s favorite Mask-bound God/Spirit just trying to take care of his favorite mortal.

There’s a lot of fics by Skye that I love and it’s hard to narrow it down. But Fierce Dadity is up there.

8. Brethren in a Cradle by @skyward-floored

After coming across a village raised to the ground, the Chain finds its sole survivor: a baby boy. They quickly learn that there is more to this child than meets the eye.

The “Baby Joins the Chain AU”. Also I always get Skyward_floored and Skyloftian-nutcase mixed up and I would like to make a formal apology.

9. Where Your Meant to Be by @adrift-in-thyme

Malon has lived her entire life in her tower, never seeing the outside world. When a former-hero-turned-thief climbs through her window, her life takes a whole new turn.

The Tangled AU I didn’t know I wanted until I read it.

10. Lupus Vigilans by @pluviatrix

A character study of each of the Chain told from the point of view of Twilight, Hillbilly in Resident.

Wholesome and hilarious and heartbreaking in equal measure, I can’t recommend this fic enough. Also, I’m from the Ozarks and it’s cool to see that accent represented in the wild.

Their other fic, And Still The Cradle Blossoms is also really good if you’re like me and need a good cry at three in the morning.

11. Down by @musashi

When the Chain gets hit by a horrible illness, it’s up to Sky to take care of eight stubborn heroes. Each chapter is focused on a different member, and Twilight’s chapter in particular hit me in the feels.

I love sickfics for some reason and this one is so good.

12. Colors by HylianHarmony

A Four centric fic where he reveals the Colors to the rest of the Chain. Also he has a mind palace which is pretty neat.

This fic isn’t finished but it’s too good not to recommend.

13. Alone Together by Blueskullcandy

Another Four centric fic but told from the point of view of different members of the chain (including Four). The Twilight chapter in particular is worth the read by itself.

This fic is also not finished but I still recommend it. It’s really good.

14. Brothers Becoming by @turtleduckscribbles

After a fight with Twilight, Legend is forced to face his fears and insecurities and confront the one person he wants to avoid at all cost.

Prickly Legend learns to let others in.

15. Not Like You by HylianHarmony

Wind deals with serious imposter syndrome, but the others don’t realize it until it’s almost too late.

This is one of my comfort fics y’all. When I’m down I’ll read it and it always manages to cheer me up. I can’t recommend this one enough.

#Linked Universe #LU #AU #Linked Universe AU #fanfiction #long post #also for those curious I got all of the parts I need except the second fang

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theromanticrationalist · 5 months

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Well, I finished The Big Bang Theory. That was a wild ride! I know this show ran for a long time, but when you binge watch it for several weeks it goes by SO fast, omg. Season 12 felt rather rushed to me, like they had to hurry and get the characters to their end points. I also do not feel like their stories are really finished, but just getting started! AKA if they wanted to make a Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler show, that would be fine be me! I want to see them continue on with their science projects, getting pregnant, having babies, raising children - I WANT IT ALL. GIVE IT TO ME. *ahem*

Some criticism, the emotions at the end didn’t feel necessarily earned. I mean it was beautiful how Sheldon Cooper said he loved his friends and honored them as part of his journey to the Nobel Prize. Only, I am remembering in Young Sheldon, how Sheldon thanked Missy Cooper in his High School President speech, and I was like a MESS. I wanted to just outright bawl my eyes out! There was so much earned emotion there between Sheldon and Missy. Also, Sheldon thanked Missy from his own heart, and wasn’t bullied by his friends and loved ones.

So, I get that this is a sitcom, so it just comes with the territory, but everyone was so angry and upset at Sheldon, when in reality they literally never fully communicated any of their problems WITH Sheldon. They always just enabled him or submitted to him in resentment, when a good direct face to face chat was all they needed to do. Amy does it all the time, when the writers decide to make her smart. I don’t like how utterly clueless everyone acts about Sheldon. He’s like literally autistic, full stop. It is obvious as day. It is so clear that things just have to be explained to him and have it be processed by him in a certain way. Of course he always loved his friends, though! That was so freak’in obvious, these guys are dopes to not see it! Sheldon’s love goes so deep.

Obviously, I am not excusing his selfishness or self-centeredness, which anyone can be these things no matter your cognitive ability, but that isn’t the problem for me about this show. It is the fact that everyone acts like Sheldon is the sole source of the problem, walking on eggshells around him, acting as if he is the vulnerable one everyone needs to protect, when they could have just treated him as an adult to begin with! It is the same mistake Mary Cooper made in raising Sheldon, wanting to protect him vs allowing him to discover the world and learn, like George often argued for (Dad Cooper was right, yo!). Yes, this boy is a sensitive, precious little baby cakes who is rather naive and gullible, but also - he’s a grown ass man. Just because his behaviors are primarily associated with children doesn’t make him an actual child. (At least Mary Cooper had that excuse, she was raising the little green bean!) He absolutely isn’t, though. And as the show proved, Sheldon CAN accept change, be humbled, and express love through physical and emotional means. Guess what guys, HE COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE FREAK’IN TIME. No one had to slap him or yell at him or hurt him, they could have just TOLD HIM. You know, like rational adults? So who are the children in this situation, hmm?

Anyway, it is just something I am frustrated with about the whole show, especially since it effected him and Amy and how they communicated. The writing was rather frustrating in many ways. That is why I prefer Young Sheldon as a show and how they handle Sheldon’s character in it, which is with so much more nuance, depth, and maturity.

But again, this is a sitcom. So, whatta ya gonna do? It was an absolute delight, though, and I am going to HYPERFIXATE THE HELL out of Shamy!!

King and Queen of the Universe! Their brains are so much better than everyone’s!! 😍😍😍

#the big bang theory #my thoughts #my TBBT thoughts #shamy #sheldon cooper #amy farrah fowler #young Sheldon

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graneymar · 1 year

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#5.2 NEYMAR JR: ONE NIGHT IN IBIZA (Part 1)

SUMMARY: You and Neymar are back from vacation, finally facing different sides of having a public relationship.

WARNINGS: none actually, some fluff with a minimum of angst and the smallest minimum of smut (literally just one dirty sentence)

PAIRING: Neymar x fem!reader

After spending our last few days in Ibiza, I decided I would stay with Neymar in Paris for another week before I had to leave for my studies.

We arrived only a few hours ago and spent the rest of the day cuddling up in his bed, watching movies and our favorite shows. My phone lit up - an Instagram notification about Neymar tagging me in his story. I smiled at him and shortly pecked his cheek. Since the public found out about us, he wouldn’t go a day without tagging or posting me - he literally mentioned me whenever and wherever he could. "How do you feel about being in the public now?", he asked and took his eyes off of the tv to glance at me. I shrugged, "It's been okay so far I guess. I'm just really hoping I will not get treated differently in university now. And I hope your fangirls will not overcrowd my office once I'm finished." He chuckled before kissing my hand he was holding in his. Those hazel eyes that always looked at me in love and admiration suddenly darkened. Oh, I knew what he had in mind. "Ney, I'm too tired today", I exclaimed laughing while he didn’t seem to care as he climbed on top of me. "Can’t wait to fuck you in your own office, Ms. Lawyer", he smirked before the two of us shared a long, passionate kiss that quickly led to another fun activity.

The next morning I woke up to see Neymar wasn’t in bed anymore. It wasn’t anything new, he always got up earlier than me. When I heard his annoyed groans and cursing though, I got a little worried. Slowly opening the bedroom door, I tiptoed my way into the living room, where I found Neymar talking on his phone. "Yeah okay, whatever. I'll be there tomorrow", he sighed out before hanging up and looking straight at me. "I have to play Saturday, training starts tomorrow." I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Why? All you asked for was another week off? I'm leaving Sunday", the disappointment in my voice was clearly audible. "I know baby, but Kylian's injured. I can’t leave those idiots hanging", Neymar explained. My lips formed a pout as I nodded. We planned to attend the match anyway, but we were supposed to be watching together instead of me watching him playing. "I'm sorry meu amor", he mumbled while cupping my face in his hands. "Está bem [it’s fine]", I replied, even though it really wasn’t. If it would be only him playing on Saturday I’d be less worried, but him training meant even less time we would be able to spend together. "Hey", he softly said stroking my cheek, "Don't be sad, please. Let’s have some breakfast, get ready and go out, hm?"

Our day went just as planned. Honestly, I've been excited and nervous about going out with Neymar since it would be the first time everyone would see as the couple we actually were, not just friends like we pretended to be before. To my surprise though, there were no paparazzi, barely even any fans interrupting our shopping tour - and most of the fans that came up to us simply wanted to take a picture with Neymar and greeted me nicely. So far, so good, I thought. Until we got out of the sushi restaurant and the paparazzi were already waiting outside. I gasped at the amount of cameras that were directed at me, my body twitched everytime another flashlight lit up. "Que merda [shit]", Neymar mumbled to himself and reached out for my hand. I instantly grabbed his,l while my other hand was busy covering my face. As he started walking through the crowd to get to his car, he squeezed my hand a little tighter. One of the paparazzi shoved his camera right into my face. "Step away from her please", Neymar politely yet demanding said - ignorance being the only response. That one paparazzi got even closer to me, almost tearing apart Neymars and my intertwined hands. He started asking questions like how we both met; why Neymar would be dating me in the first place and finally, if I had serious intentions with Neymar or if it was just money, fame and attention that I was after. That was enough for Neymar to lose his shit. He pushed the camera away from me, making it hit the paparazzi right into his face. "I said step away from her! Filho da puta [son of a bitch]", he shouted out through gritted teeth, pulling me closer to him. As soon as we approached his car, he quickly opened the passenger door for me, slightly pushing me in to avoid anyone else getting closer to me than they were supposed to. Taking a few deep breaths I started calming down a little, instinctively grabbing Neymars hand as soon as he dropped himself next to me. "How did they even know where we're at?", I asked, my voice still a little shaky. Neymar stroked my hand with his thumb while checking his phone. "Oh fuck", he mumbled and turned his phone in my direction, "I thought I saved it as a draft but I must’ve accidentally posted it. I'm so sorry babe." How clever, a photo of our food and the damn location. I tried to keep my angry facial expression while staring at him, but finally bursted out into laughter. He looked at me, relieved but confused. "Why are you laughing? I thought you’d be mad at me."

"I am, actually", I raised my brows at him, "but that’s so typically Neymar. This is something that can only happen to you and no one else, honestly." He shrugged, his lips pressed into a thin line, looking at me with puppy eyes before finally giving me a short kiss and starting the car.

The next few days went by quite ordinary. While Neymar was at training, I tried to distract myself by cleaning the apartment, cooking or simply taking a walk outside. When the day of his match arrived though, the anxiety broke through me again. "Baby, don’t worry! Guilherme and Gil will be with you. I got you seats far from the fans", Neymar reassured me as he tried to calm me down. God, if he only knew I wasn’t scared of the fans but the media talking shit about me again. When the paparazzi caught us back in Ibiza, I instantly got compared to Neymars ex girlfriends, saying I looked nothing like them, talking badly about my appearance, my body, even how I wasn’t photogenic. I truly didn’t care about what they said about how I looked. I was confident enough to ignore it and as long as Neymar viewed me the way he did, I couldn’t care less about how others saw me. When the media started talking trash about our relationship, saying I was just enjoying the luxurious lifestyle Neymar brought to my life and I apparently was only interested in his money, fame and attention though - that actually hurt me. It was hard enough for Neymar to open up after so many people took advantage of him, building up his trust in me was an entire process. I was afraid they would come up with some story that would make him doubt my love for him or even overthink our relationship. But I refused to tell him about what was actually bothering me. I didn’t want to make a scene before anything even happened.

"I have to go now", Neymar finally said, quickly kissing my cheek, "I'll see you there. Gil calls you once he’s here to pick you up!"

The first half of the match went pretty calm, no goals and not too many fouls. I was just happy I didn’t really get noticed by anyone. Only ten minutes into the second half, Neymar scored the first goal for PSG. Guilherme, Gil and I got up from our seats, clapping and cheering. That was when Neymar jogged up to our side of the field and blowed me a kiss with a wide smile on his face. I felt my cheeks blushing as all heads in the crowd turned in my direction. Gil noticed how uncomfortable I gor and decided to distract the crowd by blowing a kiss back to Ney, screaming out "Oh my God, I love you Neymar" in a high pitched voice, acting like a fangirl. I started laughing and sat down again. "That’s Neymars girlfriend, she’s so pretty", a girl a few rows in front of me said. I smiled at her widely as her boyfriend turned around to look at me. "Bruna is prettier", he simply stated. I tilted my head, my smile widened in a provocative way and I waved at him before showing him my middle finger. Guilherme started laughing while Gilmar almost choked on his drink. "Y/N, you can’t do that", he said, "Your Neymar Jrs girlfriend! Adding to that, you’ll be a lawyer soon." I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch the match. "And what about it? Aren’t lawyers allowed to fight and defend themselves outside of the court?" Guilherme held his hand up for a high five that I returned.

The match ended, PSG won 2-0. The boys and I were waiting for Neymar outside the stadium. "Hey babe", Neymar greeted me and kissed my cheek, Marco following closely behind him. "So you wanna come over to my place and celebrate the win?", Marco asked after politely nodding at me. Neymars facial expression turned from happy into sad as he heavily breathed out. "I can’t", he responded, wrapping one arm around my shoulder, "Y/N leaves tomorrow." Marcos nod told us he was absolutely understanding. "It’s sucks you're already leaving, but it was a pleasure to see you again", he grinned and hugged me before we said our goodbyes and got into our cars.

At the airport, I hid my face in Neymars chest, refusing to let him go as the tears continued to stream down my face. By the way his body slightly flinched from time to time, I knew he was close to tears as well. "Calm down meu anjo, I promise I'll do everything I can to visit you as soon as possible", he whispered, stroking the back of my head and kissing my forehead. I looked up at him and saw a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I love you so much", I sobbed, hugging him even tighter than before, "I really can’t do this anymore. I can’t be this far away from you all the time." Neymar pulled away a bit, only so much that we were face to face. "I'll be there soon, I promise you Y/N. Please keep on focusing on your studies. No matter what happens, I'm right here waiting for you - or waiting for you to call me over. I love you." The last call for my flight. I grabbed my suitcase and fell right into his arms for the ultimate time. "I love you", I repeated again and again until I finally walked away from him slowly, not able to take my eyes off of him.

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haloburns · 1 year

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phic phight #9

those who understand, teach

Lancer could safely he's seen everything with how long he's been teaching.

Then he meets Daniel Fenton, and he learns there's a whole other realm of things for him to understand. Luckily for Danny, he's very good at that.

Takes place in the the world is having more fun than me (tonight) universe.

Part nine of the can't have shit in amity park, not even a slightly normal halfterlife series.

Two years later, Lancer sat in much the same position as before. Danny was standing in front of him because of missed homework, but there were a few key differences.

1) Lancer knew Danny was Phantom.

2) He was no longer the scrawny kid Lancer had grown fond of. He was taller, leaner, and much more confident in himself. Instead of curling in on himself to hide from the disappointment his teacher radiated, he stood with one hand in his pocket, the other curled loosely around his purple backpack, leaning back just a bit, like he didn’t really mind being there. He didn’t even look upset at having to be in front of Lancer once again. In fact, there was a faint smirk at the corner of his mouth.

3) Most of his ghostly excuses over the last two years had been true because… Well, refer to point one.

Lancer steepled his fingers in front of his face, pressing them to his forehead. “Please explain to me, one more time, what happened?”

“Ember decided we were going to hang out instead of doing homework because that was lame, so she shredded it with her guitar. Literally. It was actually pretty sick, but it’s gonna take me some time to get that essay rewritten.”

The exhausted teacher nodded with a long sigh. That was a normal excuse. Definitely. Something he was absolutely prepared to handle from all of his many years teaching. (He was undoubtedly not paid enough for this.)

“Just get it in when you can, Danny,” Lancer sighed, dropping his hands from his face. “And let me know if you need help along the way. You’re more than welcome to write it here after school.”

Danny snorted. Lancer knew it was a long shot, but he had to try anyway. “Thanks, Lancer. ‘Preciate it. Catch you tomorrow!” And then he was jogging out of the classroom to catch up with his friends, ready to be anywhere but school, before Lancer could say anything else.

“What am I doing?” Lancer muttered, dragging his hands down his face. “This whole thing is so ridiculous…”

[ l i n e b r e a k ]

Turning in this one particular essay turned out to be the hardest thing Danny had ever done. And he was including kicking Pariah Dark’s ass in that.

Every day, Lancer gently inquired about the status of his paper, and every day, Danny had nil progress to report, along with increasingly outlandish, but true, reasons as it why it wasn’t complete.

“I started it, and almost got finished, too! Then Technus decided to try and consume the internet, and he started with corrupting all the files on my computer… Dunno why, but he did.”

“Ember used it to write a new song. It’s gonna be great! But now I have to start over.”

“Johnny and Kitty came to town and started harassing me while I was trying to write it on top of the Nasty Burger—hey, we all have our thinking places—and then when I was distracted, Shadow stole it. Then we played keep away until Walker showed up and confiscated it… Yeah, it’s in ghost jail now. Yeah, I dunno what he was thinking. You can talk to him if you want! …Yeah, I don’t want to either, so I’ll just… start again…”

Continue on AO3.

#phic phight 23 #phic phight 2023 #phic phight #danny phantom #the world is having more fun than me tonight series #can't have shit in amity park not even a slightly normal halfterlife #ecto writes #ecto fics

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marcilled · 9 months

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According to the votes on that poll, at least 70% of you want to hear about my FFXIV ocs (meanwhile, only 12% think i should sleep. so i'm awake still, typing this.) I'll ramble about them under the cut, but for the ~7% that said they don't know what ffxiv is, I ended up rambling quite a bit about what ffxiv even is, and why I personally enjoy it/what i recommend for anyone who's interested in it. (I made it easy to skip over if you don't care to read about that, though)

Gonna put this under a readmore since it got really long;

Cassern Qestir! my main girlie. she/it pronouns. lesbian .

she's the warrior of light. if you don't know what that means; it's the protagonist. if you still need more context:

(skip to the blue text if you don't want to read me explain ffxiv and why i think it's worth playing, i didn't expect to ramble this much about it...)

Final Fantasy XIV is a MMORPG by Square Enix. Most other final fantasy games aren't MMOs, but this one is. That means it's a multiplayer game with RPG elements. It's also heavily story-driven. While you might hear people complain about the story at times- and I'd be one of them- it manages to really leave an impression in spite of any contrivances, awkward writing, or plotholes. That's due to the fact that the player character is... well, whoever you want them to be.

Your WoL (Warrior of Light), the player character, is the protagonist of the story. And it really must be emphasized... They are so, so fully the protagonist, it's hard for other protagonists to even compare to the protagonist energy the warrior of light has. That might seem... dull or uninteresting to some, but eh, it's not like you can please everyone- the point is for you to get into character, and if that doesn't interest you, then hopefully the other characters in the story will. Personally I love this aspect- I've made the WoL my own oc with a really, really detailed backstory. Which brings me to my next point;

The Worldbuilding... The worldbuilding is probably the strongest point of ffxiv, aside from the STELLAR soundtrack it boasts. The worldbuilding is incredibly detailed, and is there to encourage roleplaying, as well as to help the plot along (tho, really, it works best as a means to encourage roleplay). I suppose I should be more specific here; it's the setting that's really the key point here- the world, the cities, each and every river and valley... But also the time period, the history, etc etc etc... There's a lot of material to work with, and I suppose you'll just have to believe me that it's really quite in-depth (if you're interested in that depth! totally fine not to engage with it, too.)

All of this isn't... going to grab or interest everyone, certainly, but eh, I've accepted that at this point lol. Don't force yourself to keep playing it if it isn't grabbing you, but for me, I started playing it for the social aspect- doing something in the game with friends, socializing in the game, making new friends through it... it's been great for that. What I didn't expect is how much the story would grab me.

FFXIV's story is very slow to start, but gradually builds on the humble roots of your adventurer until you're literally saving the entire universe. It's very, very gradual, and this slow pace might turn people off as well. Especially if you hear people say "it really gets good at heavensward!" "shadowbringers is unforgetable!" "just wait til next expansion--" these sorts of things are common to hear, but it's the same as touting that a game gets good "after the first 20 hours of gameplay", it's poison. Just try it out and see how you feel about how it plays. If the style of doing quests is interesting to you, if the combat feels engaging or shallow. etc. hey wait this was supposed to be about my ocs. ok i'll finish talking about the story and then get back to my ocs.

Anyhow. The story is really shallow at first, it's true. Even within the whole base game itself, (A Realm Reborn, aka 2.0), it can be a bit dull and contrived, and boy oh boy is the voice acting completely awful... It's rough around the edges. But if you're like me, you can really appreciate a series that starts out rough around the edges, and slowly evolves over time from humble beginnings into an epic tale that really blows away your expectations... It's about growing with the narrative, to me. If that sounds interesting to you, maybe you'll like it. I certainly did. In fact, ffxiv might be like... top 10 games to me, in terms of how its story affected me personally. Particularly the shadowbringers and endwalker expansions. But you can't skip all the way there, either- the context of everything that happened before it is crucial to understanding where you're at once you get to those expansions. The more you skip, the more lost you'll likely be. Take your time. Don't rush. And ignore anyone who tells you "it gets really good at (x) part!!!", it's a great way to set yourself up for disappointment if you end up not personally connecting with a certain plotline or character moment. I think, the thing that makes ffxiv really special... is.. it's YOUR story. The story of you- your warrior of light. And the parts that are going to connect for YOU, and for your warrior of light, are not necessarily the same as what connects for anyone else. You may end up loving the slow, humble beginnings of ARR, and feel alienated by all the saving-the-world stuff that comes later. Who knows! It's what you make of it. That's kind of the beauty of it. Now, I could talk all day about how I personally connected to shadowbringers and endwalker, (and some smaller moments, scenes, & questlines from earlier in the game), but you didn't come here for all this, you came here to read about my ocs. SORRY.

I'm done talking about FFXIV as a game now. It's time to ramble about my OCs.

FFXIV is really great for making OCs, if you like its setting. Square Enix doesn't like when you talk about it, but there's a pretty big modding scene that lets you customize your characters way beyond what the vanilla game allows for. This is often used for horny purposes, but more interesting to me personally is the gender euphoria I get from seeing my own body reflected in my own character. I gave Cassern wider shoulders, made her taller than any other au ra woman can be in vanilla, and gave her the horns that are typically only on male character models. She is so transgender. i love cassern.

Cassern Qestir is the warrior of light, meaning she's the protagonist that goes on to save everyone and everything. But at the start of her story, she's a budding new adventurer, completely new to Eorzea- her home is far to the east, in the Azim Steppe, where most Xaela Au Ra hail from. It started out casting spells, but picked up ninjitsu along the way, and quickly became one of the most skilled shinobi there is.

(she kills fascists lol)

she's also pretty socially awkward, in spite of her unparalleled combat capabilities... it lacked a lot of confidence early on in the story, too, but over time it got a lot of character development, and gained confidence. my little beepo. i have a lot of photos of it, but I don't want to make this TOO long... plus, it's difficult to give a spoiler-free overview of her character that's still approachable to people that don't know anything about the game. I suppose I could talk about her backstory, because most of my writing for her actually happens before the main game... but, eh, I'd still need to introduce a lot of settings and topics that wouldn't make sense if you haven't played before. tricky to do. maybe I'll attempt that one of these days. Anyhow... onto my next oc...

This is Samga Mol! they/them. bi.

Samga is a touchy, standoffish Xaela dragoon. (Dragoon means they fight with a lance- it's one of the many jobs in the game, like Ninja is. I'd need another long tangent to explain that in full.) Samga was actually close friends with Cassern in their youth, having also grown up on the Azim Steppe- but the two of them haven't spoken in years... I wonder what happened between them?

They're very edgy, as dragoons often are- but they also have a softer, gentler side that they don't often let show... They also get grumpy if you say they're cute. (Which is just even cuter, by the way.) They actually have a soft spot for animals, particularly chocobos.

But shhh, don't tell anyone you saw them like this... they have a reputation to uphold, you know. Tough, menacing dragoon that kills in the name of dragonkind and all that. Most feared heretic in all of Ishgard, strikes fear into the hearts of the temple knights... Wait, weren't they from the Azim Steppe? How did that happen?? Hmm, I wonder...

---

I have a lot more OCs, but most of them don't have cohesive designs and intricate backstories like Cassern and Samga do- and more often than not, mostly exist just to add more depth to the story between the two of them. There's a few others I have, like this mad scientist catgirl named Dr. Frankie. I'm still working on her. She's completely unrelated to Cassern and Samga's story;

stay tuned if you enjoy morally dubious scientist women with an ephemeral grasp on social etiquette. i'm already obsessed with this little freak, i just need to develop her a bit more before i start showing her off all the time. she also has an ... "assistant" that i'm excited to design. more on that later.

Anyhow, this was a really, really brief overview of my ocs, and I have SO many more thoughts on them, that I post about with much more frequency over on @azimsteppe ... when I remember to... (I usually use twitter for ffxiv stuff, but I'm sure you're all familiar with how that website is faring these days...) just be aware that there are spoilers on that blog, and although i try to tag them, you'll likely run into some spoilery stuff if you browse there long enough.

please let me know what you think!! it always makes me happy hearing what people think of my ocs and what interests them about them... :] and!! big thank you for reading all of this!! it was a lot of fun just to ramble lol, my ocs mean a lot to me. so i'm glad it interests at least some of you. take care!!

#vivi bleats #long post #ffxiv

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popculturebuffet · 1 year

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Transformers MTMTE Retrospective: Scavengers and Chaos Theory (ISsues 7 and 8, Transformers 09 23 and 24)

Hello all you happy cybertonianas and welcome back to my more than meets the eye retrospective! For this month we're doing two stories and continuing our side trip. This time we see how the other side of the war is doing in it's aftermath.. and then cut to just before the end and long before it as we get a peak at who Optimus and Megatron are, and what Cybertron was before the war. So join me under the cut for Scavengers and Chaos Theory if you please.

Scavengers:

Scavengers begins with something we've been slowly building towards: we get our first look at the Decpticon Justice Divsion.. and see that the rep they've built over these first few issues and one shots.. isn't an exageration. If anything they undersold it as we see their latest Victim black shadow BARELY alive and begging for them to juts finish it after previously having been partially melted and crushed… only for Tarn the cruel and charasmatic leader of the DJD to lay it out: the deaths are agonzingly slow, and that's the point: every decipticon that hears about this will think twice about turning their back on megatron for whatever reason. It also makes sense Megatron has this sick motivational tool in his back pocket: while some Deciptcons are diehards for the cause.. the vast majority are in it for themselves, for petty sadisim or as we'll learn just because they were made for it. Many would likely screw up a mission just to get themselves ahead… and the DJD are there to explain why this is a bad idea. Tarn himself shows off his talent.. he can literally talk someone's spark into giving up. HIs very voice is his weapon and he saves it for the last. As for them doing this while the war is over Tarn refuses to belivie this, feeling the war isn't over till Megatron says it is… a philsophy that will be challenged horribly next season, but we'll get to that. It's a short but incredibly well done scene that emphasises just what monsters our temporary protaganists are up against.. and what our main heroes WILL be up against eventually. It's not a matter after all this build up of IF they'll meet the DJD.. it's a matter of WHEN. For now though they have another target in mind whose crime is… "He lived"

We break for the lost light which I honestly forgot about but is welcome.. if no less grisly. Rung is alive by some miracle, but is missing his head, and Red Alert, shaken by finding overlord confesses it to rung, and leaves a data slug with him… that in a later scene someone goes back to retrive. Something bad is going on and it's clearly a lot higher up than it seemed with just wingus and dingus.

We then meet our protaganists for these issues: Fulcrum, a bucketheaded autobot who wakesu pt ofind the rest of our new heroes trying to scrap him for parts. These are the Scavengers: MIsfire, swerves' non union decpticon equilvlent, Crankcase whose name matches his attitude, Spinster, the empyrically dumbest person in the universe, Flywheels, who you need not worry about, and Krok, who as leader gets best designs.

We get another subplot, . B ing a good friend Chromedome's been looking into Skids past, and goes to his other close friend for help. Brainwave disected his gun.. and it exploded. He also named it the binary gun because it has two bullets. Chromedome sums up how useful this is.. prompting Brainwave to reveal some actual information, albeit some even he's not sure of.. and given his info his reluctance speaks VOLUMES. The bullet is from the institute

Domey decides after that to just try using his surgery on Skids, who intitallyd ecided he didn't want it but has changed his mind. And while Chromedome's able to get a lot out.. he can't get everything and stops. While Skids want's it… Domey can't ethically keep pressing as there's something Skids is actively repressing, and a memory that traumatic could break him.. and given what Dome's scene, it's probably best he dosent. And knowing what Dome's seen and what Skids is hiding. .yeah I can see why his brain put up this defense mechaniasm. My only shock is that defense mechanisms aren't literal for transformers and a tiny brain gun didn't pop out of the back of his head to zap Domey in the eyes.

Once we get back to our other protaganists we find otu the Scavengers aren't really a formal squad.. but simply a bunch of lost decipticons who Krok found trying to find his crew and are currently trying to salvage enough materials to keep going. This sector in paticular is usesful as Optimus and Megatron went through a phase that's both the bonkers kind of werid I love you only get from a property like this and tha'ts grounded in the real cost of it

It's a brilliant idea I wish got explored more: for who knows how long two fo the greatest stratigests in the unvierse plugged themselves into giant computers and simply treated the entire universe like one giant RTS. It makes sense as their brains are computer based so why WOULDN'T they do this… and then shows WHY: millions died fast, things escilated quickly and it explains why Megatron would shift back to a much slower strategy after this. Optimus likely only did it either becuase he didn't consideer the implications.. or he had no choice. As Krok puts it "lives were reduced to lines and intergers and the only diffrence between us and them is the autobots came back to collect their dead". That last part is what makes me wish we got more out of it: the idea that for one point of the war people were reduced to mere data on a page and the consequences of that.

This brings Krok to another point: the war is over. The Scavengers all got the message "Come home the war's over" and while they think it's POSSIBLE Megatron one, they suspect it was the autobots since the message wasn't "HEY BITCHES PARTY AT MEGATRONS!" and none of them know what to feel about that. These were just the guys at the bottom of things. Just like our reguarlly scheduled heroes ther'es a sense of what do we do now? This was our lives. Krok decides shoot the torture victim from earlier who they used as a camp fire without realizing it.

So after the aformentiond data slug scene our heroes try to find enough fuel to power the Weak Anthropic Principal aka the W.A.P. a name that has aged gloriously. Flywheels finds something badass though

They explore it and suprise suprise.. the ship's pretty fucke dup with brains on the ceiling, half mangled protoforms in jars, usual horror shit. Only Fulcrum's excited by this and only because of the unknown, the idea their lives are there's now. He's let the post war reality set in.. and unlike the others he's happy his life's finally his… and then the DJD call saying one of them is on the list and they have 15 minutes to kiss their asses goodbye.

The issue ends with our heroes finding something that JUST might turn the tide: Him, Grimlock.

Yup i'm a huge grimlock fan. The first G1 work I saw was Transformers the Movie, which had him and the others a hilarious idiots tagging along with everyone else. I"ve loved the big dumb asshole ever since so I'm happy he's part of this run… even if he's not quite himself

After a flashback to fulcrum doing a heli jump that also implies HE'S the one their after, our heroes discuss it over and Krok points out the hard truth: none of them is going to admit to being the DJD's target for obvious reasons and even if they did, given how draconian and unstable the DJD is, they could easily just decide on the spur of the moment "Hey your all on the list now! Pray for death but death won't come!" So their options are

And shockingly despite the jokey nature of these guys.. all but Fulcrum choose Option C. Honestly when reading this story again for this it didn't really do much for me.. but rereading it.. this moment really sells it> These guys may be even MORE of a ragtag bunch of misfits than our main heroes, which is somehow possible, but they have some noblility in them. As Crankcase puts it "This badge belongs to us, not them". SO their going to do what they do best: use what they have on hand.

Our ragamuffins set a trap, leaving Grimlock's cryo pod there so theyc an open it, saying it's the traitor.. and Tarn just outs Fulcrum as his target. Tarn.. also isn't stupid. Given that decpticons already punish deserition with brutal torture if most of them target them, it'd take a lot to both escape and to stay escaped as is, let alone with the threat of Tarn himself over their heads. He still opens the trap, but it's more out of villanous curosity as to just WHAT the trap is than actually thinking they could escape him. He gets shorukened for it, but it quickly becomes clear Grimlock isn't at 100% percent and instead i just getting his ass kicked like a sad puppy, and our heroes can't even take advantage of tha to escape as one of the DJD finds them. Things go badly and we get an upclose look at how horriying the DJD are, with Kaon keeping a "pet" a deranged wolf like "sparkeater", Tesarus who just shoves people into his chest to be ground up , which poor flywheels gets a taste of, Vos who puts an iron maiden like mask on his targets. OUr heroes try their best.. but it's clear their just not up to this. As Tarn puts it these guys are at the literal bottom of the Deciptcon's rankings, he checks them because of course he does. Even some powered armor does NOTHIGN to these monsters.

What saves them is Fulcrum who decides to come clean and to jump, but not before giving a speech citing that these guys gave him faith in the cause again.. and that their worth TEN of the DJD any day. He then jumps revealing he's a LITERAL suicide bomber with an alt bomb mode… that goes off with a dud because that's just the kind of day these guys are having.

Thankfully they get a repreive: the DJD has found overlord… the overlord whose in the bowels of our heroes ship

Tarn leaves, and tells them all their ALL on his list now… but he has bigger fish to fry.

Fulcrum explains his backstory: he was a deserter, got caught and was remodeled into an unwilling sucicide bomber, his bomb removed by the others when they thought he was a lootable corpse. The rest of the gang.. is busy with Grimlock, worried about him till Misfire approaches him slowly and realizes he's brain damaged. He's not himself.. and thus comes up with a plan since Krok is a bit too unconcious and in need of repairs to come up with one and it's actually brilliant: they take Grimlock with them and use him as leverage. If the autobots won, taking care of one fo their own and bringing him home with them makes for one hell of a peace offering and gets them amnesty. If the decipticons won, bringing back one of the biggest baddest autobots is an instant promotion. Theya ll agree, loot krok for parts then take off… while a mysterious bot far in teh future shows up marking him dead…and on his data pad are also Ultra Magnus and Drift.

Scavengers is a decent story, one showing just what the other side of the war was. Really my only problem with these guys is we only see them three times in the main story and once with a b plot, making it easy to forget about them despite being important to the plot, as their intro both properly introduces the DJD.. and sets up events for later. Their not bad characters by any means but they often don't feel as developed. The story tries it's best and Krok certainly does but they feel a tad more one note due to not getting nearly as much time and being played mostly for laughs. It's not a terrible story but i'ts a shockinglyf orgetable one given how much happens and how decent it is. The next story.. is a bit bigger though

Chaos Theory:

So now we go to BEFORE MTMTE happened to a prequel.. an intentional one to the storyline "Chaos" that wrapped up the previous era of transformers, and loose one to both MTMTE as a whole and next month's arc shadowplay. This arc was James Roberts first work post wreckers and given how things tend to move in comics his first knowing MTMTE was coming. As such while it works well as a two part standalone story and isn't 100% necessary for MTMTE , it still sets things up for it and sets up how Cybertron was in the past, why megatron started the decipticons.. all important stuff for MTMTE's future. It's this arc where Roberts first gets to write megatron and while it wasn't intetional as his addition to the cast wasn't roberts idea, it sets up a lot of what Roberts would do with him and explore once we get to him.

Chaos Theory opens in a diner, with Megatron tallking to his pal impactor. Since their don talking about what they call a quarter pounder on luna 1, their onto Megatron's latest work: a manefesto of sorts but suprisingly it's built on non violent resitance.. on building a movement not through violence but through protest. It's chilling as it is sad: we knwo what Megatron becomes.. but right now alll he once is a better life. A life where a few drinks above ground between shifts is not all they have and where what your built to be dosen't mean your station in life. It makes you questoin just what made THIS GUY into well.. this guy

The two are interputped by some assholes hassling Rung, who makes his first apperance here, if as a bit of a cameo. Said assholes work for the Senate, which as you can probably guess by the need for systemic change.. is horribly corrupt, not only encouraging a caste based system where what one does determines how valuable they are that will later be refered to as "functionism", so naturally like any jackbooted thugs their bullying rung and wanting him to clean up after he knocks over some drinks before throwing him at Megs table, with Impactor getting up to teach them some street justice.

While he does that in the past in the present Megatron has surrendered.. and it has everyone uneasy. Ratchet is checking him for traps, the other autobots are all watching from a distance and optimus.. naturally wants to know WHY. And despite trying to put off the conversatoin.. he knows he has to have it.

While he steels himself back in the past megatron is interviewed in a cell: apparently he and impactor really got into it with those guys and they and impactor are all in med bay… and Megatron is soon starring down a familiar lack of a face who shadily decides to take over his interigation…..

Yup! While Rung is a neat cameo to stash away for later, Whirl is full on setup for the character and his apperance and connections here will be important later. As he mentioned in issue 6 he worked for the senate.. and we see what that means here… and none of it is good. What follows.. is one of the best scenes in transformers period. The symbol of each side, simply sitting in a room, talking it over, as Optimus DESPERATLEY tries to figure out why megatron is like this. There is a LOT of good stuff in this conversatoin, a masterclass in how to do a character conversation. Such as Megatron talking about hate

Optimus counters by why he's tired: generations of fighting and all it's gotten is every other race to turn their back on them, millions dead, their races decimated… and it just won't stop. You can see now why he's tired: Roberts really taps into something that dosen't get refrenced enough in transformers: this war hasn't just been going on a few years.. it's been going on millinea and as mtemte has proven they remember all of it. All the losses, all the trauma, all the pain, what was it for?

He asks Megatron a simple question: pretend for a moment he's won, optimus dead the autobots no more what does he do?

Well minus the rest part, but he basically rebuilds the universe into true peace through tyranny: a new golden age where free will is gone but os is wanting for anythimng.. something that naturally disgusts optimus. The two then trade stories about the times they've nearly killed each other before breaking

Back with autobots high command, they argue what to do wtih him: some, including Ultra Magnus want him dead, while Bumblebee worries it'llmake him a martyr. Optimus..says i'ts not up for debate and he's instead going to someone else who will be important in MTMTE, Chief Justice Tyrest, the guy who apointed magnus and who oversaw the Aquetus trials that were at the center of Last Stand of the Wreckers andwho naturally we'll see later. For now he's who Optimus trusts but to try this and to do so in a way other races will accept, though some worry Optimus is getting a bit chummy.. and by some I mean hot rod whose lack of tact gets everyone thrown out, though Optimus is clearly still rattled.

Back to the past, Whirl is beating the shit out of Megatron who isn't fighting back. This police brutality is interputed by Springarm, the officer he reliefed earlier as Megatron has been let off, thankfully before Whirl could blame his death as him "slipping his bonds". It's a shockinglyf rank show of the police: some may mean well.. but many are just selfish brutalizing assholes who don't want change as their power would go away.. and we're only going to see more of that in these past segments.. and any time Prowls around. Seriously the bot is a walking defund the polcie advertisment. Optimus not only shows he talked to the bartneder and found Megs didn't participate, but read his manefesto: he dosen't agree entirley but he feels he's in the right direction.. and that itself says a lot.. as did the fact Megatron tried to act like this wasn't their first meeting. To Megatron their first meeting was a battle between two sides, a glorious war on a bridge. For Optimus.. it was two idealists, one working outside the system one working simply having a talk… and likely the regret Megatron didn't speak to peace. That so many died because Megatron strayed so far from who he was.

In the present Optimus finally asks Megatron the real question, the one he REALLY wanted to ask.

This speech is one of the main reasons I covered this one: while the events of it are a direct prelude to shadowplay, this line.. comes back later. And we see as you can probably guess.. that Megatron wasn't being honest. No not honest megatron. But Megatron got what he wanted while in the past.. he throws his datapad away, a sign that he's starting to slip from who he was .. and into something else. And what I like is while the story paints present megatron as a villian.. i'ts hard to argue entirely with his past self, especially after part 2: the system is broken and while sometimes peaceful protest and showing you have the higher ground works.. sometimes the only answer is in action. Sometimes i'ts okay to get pissed off and riot. The question is how far you take it. Megatron is wrong because he took it from "the'se corrupt assholes need to be replaced" to "peace through tyranny". He had an understandable starting point, wanting to raise the working class to equality.. it's about how you achive it.

As we'll see as we open part 2 though, while Optimus is trying to work in the system.. he will not BEND to that system. It allows the other side to florish: Optimus was a cop which can be one of the worst thigns you can be and usually is in a facist system. But for Optimus.. he's trying his best to be an honest person. He lets Megatron go and likely saved his life with it.. and as we open part 2, we see a bunch of senate thugs confront him. It's clear from the outset that while they put on a lair of civility.. it's all an act Optimus sees thorugh it and while theyt ry to SUBTLY imply Whirl should be let go, that dosen't take and outright saying he has friends in high and low places who'd be pissed… Optimus dosen't bend. Whirl broke the law. It shows who Optimus is: he's a cop yes.. but he puts his morals first: he went out of his way to get Megs exonerated because he did nothing wrong. But he refuses to let Whirl free because he tried to murder someone in custody. He broke the law. It dosen't matter who his friends are or who comes for him, Orion Pax or Optimus Prime, he won't let someone trying to murder an innocent person go. In the present Optimus graples with his morals, as at the end of their verbal joust.. Optimus shocked megatron with his restraints and wonders what he's becoming… and if he's beecome too reliant on the matrix, with their bonding being painful.. not helped by Hot Rod's having been "wonderfuL' and trancendant.

The bulk of the rest of the issue.. is an action fest. But a well done one. Optimus brings a bunch of criminals in, and is also clouded in his thinking, tonight's ecnounter only having made it worsed: he read what Megatron wrote.. and realizes the system.. is really brokena nd he can't "countance" that.

He comes back.. and finds springarm and another guy we just met decapitated, and the three senate thugs from earlier escorting whirl out who shockingly DIDN'T approve of this, showing that the Whirl we will know. .is in there. Optimus gets hit from behind and we get a tense standoff as a result if an epic one. He uses his own comednations as fucking shuriken, and then , regretfully as you'd expect, hotwirse springarms corpse so he can use hsi bhike alt mode to ram into them, then reads the main thug his miranda rights. But Whirl makes a point: touch him and there's more bloodshed.. and asks what Optimus will do.

This being Optimus what he do.. is storm into the senate chambers, his faceplate cracked and whirl slung over his shoulder and mkae a speech> this is despite the senate security trying ot murder him.

I'ts one hell of a speech and it stillf eels relevant today when , in the US where I live at least, a lot of senators are, just like the cybertronain senate, self entitled jackasses who make choice sfor other people based on self intrest or some corrupt dogma instead of what the people actually want or need.. yeah it feels all too right. Of course they have Optimus dragged off.. by we see soon after a mysterious senator had him saved, being the only one actually agreeing with optimus and using the right argument they woul'dve made him a martyr, warning Optimus dark times are coming and to decdie wh he wants to be.. while a young optimus looks at his chest cavity.. and ponders the matrix.

Oh and as for present day optimus he simply went ot megatron, sans matrix.. and told him he's taking him to tyrest, with Ratchet telling optimus his moral compas is his own.

Chaos THeory just rocks as a character showcase for Optimus, showing both his inante noblity as a rising star cop and his tortured conflict in present day, while also nicely contrasting megatron's start as a good intentioned revolutionary… with his finish as a tyranical monster. It sets up both how bad the past of cybertron was and how much of a monster megs sees himself is, while raising the question of how much does he really buy he likes hurting people and how much is an act? We won't get any answers on that for a LONG time, but I felt it was worth raising them now… as they won't get any easier when Megs does come back.

Next Time: MORE FLASHBACKS. It's time for a bit of shadowplay as our heroes take turns narrating a tale of the past to hopefully help rung join them in the future. Thanks for reading.

#optimus prime #megatron #transformers #more than meets the eye #transformers more than meets the eye #john roberts #comics #idw #whirl #cybertron

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